# Did You Ever Wonder????



## charliesaunt (Apr 22, 2011)

I read a comment on KP yesterday from a Gram who had knit a beautiful dress for her granddaughter and gave it to her as a gift. She went on to say, she did see it worn once, on the day it was gifted. She then learned soon after that it was put in a bag and given to someone with other items by her daughter.

DID YOU EVER WONDER??? We go through patterns and yarns sometimes for hours to choose a pattern and a suitable yarn to make a "special" item as a gift. Yes, I know, and I understand, when we give a gift...we "give" it and that's where our involvement ends. Hours of knitting (in most cases are beneficial to our psyche) made with love and given as a part of ourselves. How many have ever seen their items being used???

I am fortunate in that I know most of the items I make are worn and loved. They are requested by my family.and eagerly awaited. The other items go to charities who accept and then request.


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## MMWRay (Dec 2, 2016)

I gift mostly to charity and only practical things like hats. The one friend I send sweaters for her girls sends me photos so I see the items are cherished. I have been 'burned' before by neighbors that wanted items for their little girls and I found the items in a local thrift store a few weeks later. My time is precious so I don't waste it. The general public does not appreciate the time or money that goes into any hand made gift, whether knit, crocheted or sewn.


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## JennyG12 (Jan 24, 2016)

No I never wonder. Once given/gifted what the recipient does with it afterwards I have no control over. In my whole life I had only one person I refuse to make for again. For the donations, I have already vetted for the most trustworthy organizations who provide for the needy. My 'golden' years are more for donations now, rather than personal gifts.


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## shoppingwithsunshine (Jul 25, 2012)

Nothing more galling than seeing your knitting in a dog's bed - I know - my brother tried very hard to offer an explanation. Never knitted for them again . 
Knitted a wee doll for my hairdresser's baby - saw it years later in a box of toys to occupy children while their mums were busy getting their hair done !


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## MoCoop (Feb 17, 2014)

I learned 45 years ago, I painstakingly sewed and embroidered an entire layette and crochetted a pair of darling booties for my sister in law's new baby. She was not thrilled, may I say. She actually gave the booties back to me, about the worst insult she could do. She used the pieces of the layette for cleaning rags.
She was deeply offended when I did not attend the baby shower for her next infant. That she was as upset as I had been pleased me no end. (I hope I have since outgrown such pettiness, but it did feel good at the time)
I did buy her a case of Pampers when her baby arrived.
Now I will only give a relative something I've made if they ask me to make it. (or if they really like it after it's done)
I give most of what I make away, mostly to strangers, they stop me in a store to admire it, they get it, then and there.


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## MMWRay (Dec 2, 2016)

MoCoop said:


> I give most of what I make away, mostly to strangers, they stop me in a store to admire it, they get it, then and there.


One reason I take a knit hat or dishcloth as my item to pass time at doctor's appointments is you can gift them right away to anyone who admires them.


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## barbaralbb2 (9 mo ago)

I have to say I don’t make unsolicited gifts for anyone. I prefer to make things for donation…. Though heavens knows what happens to them. My SIL is a master knitter, her son refuses any “homemade” hand-knit gifts from her. My sons are more open but, honestly how many hand-knit, warm sweaters can my family in Texas actually wear? I did make a handknit dress as a gift for the daughter of a friend, I’d guess she wore in a couple of time, then she outgrew it. Now I mostly knit for the Hats for Sailors charity, My knitting is for my own pleasure… expecting others to appreciate my time and effort, unless they are also knitters, is not something I do…. And that keeps me happily knitting!😊🙃


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## NimueVaniva (Sep 26, 2019)

I made a baby blanket as a shower gift for my niece's baby (not opened at the shower) and, later, matching hats for baby and parents. None of this was even acknowledged. I don't knit for them anymore. My husband's family continues to comment on and thank me for various items (mostly socks). But I have to hone my grandbaby gifts. The older one refuses to wear the type of clothing I prefer to make and another grandmother jealously knits sweaters and blankets. I've been making complicated alphabet blocks. At least they're a hit.


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## liz morris (Dec 28, 2014)

I made a project bag for my DIL, and later found it under the sink being used as a mop-up cloth for a drip from the waste pipe. I shall not give her anything else unless asked for.


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## galby (Apr 8, 2012)

I like to do hats and scrunchies. One granddaughter has made a request for more scrunchies. I also do dishcloths, I always have one started on my nightstand for insomnia times. I ask them what they want. A couple of winters ago oldest granddaughter messaged for a bun hat because her head got cold in the hot tub. She was so happy that she got it 2 days after she asked. Nice to be appreciated


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## Byrney (Nov 9, 2015)

When I was pregnant with my first child, my MIL gave me a bag of the most hideous, frilly, old fashioned baby clothes you could imagine, bonnets, lacy dresses, booties with ribbons, awful colours too. I thanked her of course, but there was no way I was going to put my new baby in any of that awful stuff. I was actually offended that she could believe I had such poor taste. To this day I believe she possibly did it purposely to offend. 

If I knit for someone else, I either keep it quite plain, or knit to order after consultation with the recipient. It’s no good giving someone something you like yourself, thinking they are bound to like it too.


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## jberg (Mar 23, 2011)

charliesaunt said:


> I read a comment on KP yesterday from a Gram who had knit a beautiful dress for her granddaughter and gave it to her as a gift. She went on to say, she did see it worn once, on the day it was gifted. She then learned soon after that it was put in a bag and given to someone with other items by her daughter.
> 
> DID YOU EVER WONDER??? We go through patterns and yarns sometimes for hours to choose a pattern and a suitable yarn to make a "special" item as a gift. Yes, I know, and I understand, when we give a gift...we "give" it and that's where our involvement ends. Hours of knitting (in most cases are beneficial to our psyche) made with love and given as a part of ourselves. How many have ever seen their items being used???
> 
> I am fortunate in that I know most of the items I make are worn and loved. They are requested by my family.and eagerly awaited. The other items go to charities who accept and then request.


That be me! I posted this reply in response to someone's picture post. I was hurt that dghtr never wore the dress on GD. It fit perfectly and looked lovely. I could even have been worn a few more years as a top. But no. I have knit a blanket for each of the Grands when they were born. And last year I made all 7 of the Alaska grands the 1898 hats which I know they wore a lot. Now most of my knitting is for charity. Unless a family member specifically asks for something I can better use my time for other projects. Thanks for your response. Happy Needling. jberg


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## rainie (Jan 12, 2013)

shoppingwithsunshine said:


> Nothing more galling than seeing your knitting in a dog's bed - I know - my brother tried very hard to offer an explanation. Never knitted for them again .
> Knitted a wee doll for my hairdresser's baby - saw it years later in a box of toys to occupy children while their mums were busy getting their hair done !


I think that is a good use for a toy outgrown.


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## kaypriest (Jun 25, 2017)

I think we sometimes forget that not everyone likes knits. Maybe the answer is to simply ask first, though it would be necessary to have the kind of relationship where each can be honest, and the ability to not be hurt if the askee declines whatever we want to make for them. 

I haven't invested much time in making things for family as I figured out pretty soon some seemed to look down their nose at "homemade." I won't make anything for them unless asked, even then not sure I would say yes. If they prefer machine made stuff from China, oh well...


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## charliesaunt (Apr 22, 2011)

jberg said:


> That be me! I posted this reply in response to someone's picture post. I was hurt that dghtr never wore the dress on GD. It fit perfectly and looked lovely. I could even have been worn a few more years as a top. But no. I have knit a blanket for each of the Grands when they were born. And last year I made all 7 of the Alaska grands the 1898 hats which I know they wore a lot. Now most of my knitting is for charity. Unless a family member specifically asks for something I can better use my time for other projects. Thanks for your response. Happy Needling. jberg


I guess it is clear that your posting touched my heart. Up until 5 years ago, I was knitting long baptismal dresses by order for some of the people in our church and in other churches in my area. They were a "vintage" pattern, lacy and knit with fine yarn. Each dress would take me approximately 3 weeks to knit and the price was $150-$175 depending on how close I was with the grandparents or parents. I will say each dress and bonnet was worn and in some cases worn by multiple children in the families. I did have a Pastor ask if I would make a dress for their parish use to lend to families. Of course, I did this willingly. Like you I knit for certain members of my family and some friends, upon request having them choose the color and checking the pattern before I cast on. I get great pleasure of knitting for charities, the VA hospitals, and some facilities that offer housing to women who left abusive relationships. Keep those needles clicking.


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## edithann (Feb 12, 2011)

I knit mainly for charities. However, I have knitted hats, scarfs, texting gloves requested by family members.
I know they have been worn, so that's good.


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## mea (Jan 21, 2011)

I guess I can see both sides. Some people just don’t appreciate hand-made items but I don’t think there’s anything bad about that. Givers need to really know their audience or accept the chance that their gift may not be welcome. But people should at least have some class and know how to accept an unwanted gift (and even how to dissuade anything further) without offending the giver. 

This reminded me of an experience at work (although a bit off-topic and not knitting related). I’m a scrapbooker and put a ton of time and energy into my pages, especially the heritage ones. A recently married co-worker casually asked if she could bring her wedding pics in for me to “do something with”, like it was no big deal and I was looking for something to do. I still get aggravated remembering this yet I know she meant no harm. Some people just don’t get it.


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## run4fittness (May 22, 2011)

I make things and then share the pictures with in-laws. If they ask for it I give it to them. For my aunt and cousin, I know what they like and that is what I make for them.


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## Lilyan (Dec 16, 2015)

I have always knitted for charity. And, I do knit when a close family member or friend requests a specific article. I also give away completed articles when someone seems to fall in love with them. However, I actually try to avoid additional knitting projects, mainly because my time is very precious to me, and there is so much more I want to explore in both knitting and crocheting.
The people who do receive my finished projects, seem to use them. One local homeless fellow actually requested a hat in red for this next winter.


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## knit&purl (Feb 4, 2019)

I have very little opportunity to do charity knitting where I am. I've tried and tried to find somewhere that will accept and I can't find anything.

I once knit some boot cuffs for my husbands niece and put them under their tree when we went to visit. Her mother had cut my children out of their gift buying list but I thought I would try to be the bigger person and gift her daughter a small token. Funny thing was it was the only gift under the tree as they had a dog and he liked to mess with the gifts. The dog was in a kennel at the time so I know they found the gift. I never received acknowledgement from anyone so that was the end of that.


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## Jessica-Jean (Mar 14, 2011)

MoCoop said:


> …
> 
> *I give most of what I make away, mostly to strangers, they stop me in a store to admire it, they get it, then and there.*


I’m happy I’m not the only one who gives on a whim!!! 😊


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## peanutpatty (Oct 14, 2012)

I no longer make anything for anyone unless they ask, and spell out the style and colour. I realize my taste does not necessarily match anyone else's. I am happy knitting/crocheting for myself.


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## Aunty M (Jul 7, 2014)

I'm really fortunate that my family asks me to knit and crochet things for them. I always ask about the colours and show them patterns for guidance, if it's clothing. If it's cushions or other items, I just get size requirements.
If the item is going to be a surprise, or a gift, I try to keep it to something I hope the person will like, such as a bookmark for a reader. Once I give it to them, I consider it theirs to choose whether to use or not.


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## Jessica-Jean (Mar 14, 2011)

Aunty M said:


> I'm really fortunate that my family asks me to knit and crochet things for them. I always ask about the colours and show them patterns for guidance, if it's clothing. If it's cushions or other items, I just get size requirements.
> If the item is going to be a surprise, or a gift, I try to keep it to something I hope the person will like, such as a bookmark for a reader. Once I give it to them, I consider it theirs to choose whether to use or not.


After the rather lukewarm reception one of my sisters gave a finely knit scarf I had made, I don’t do surprise knits anymore. I ask the intended recipient what colour, what size, etc. Better it be well received/used than not.


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## Aunty M (Jul 7, 2014)

Jessica-Jean said:


> After the rather lukewarm reception one of my sisters gave a finely knit scarf I had made, I don’t do surprise knits anymore. I ask the intended recipient what colour, what size, etc. Better it be well received/used than not.


You're correct. I limit my surprises to those who I know will love them, or at least be very gracious and appreciate the fact that I made a gift just for them.


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## Deanna Pisano (Aug 30, 2016)

I'm happy to hear I'm not the only one with this problem.
I too have made several gifts for family or friends who don't appreciate.
I crocheted two sweaters for my newest Granddaughter and would you believe
the DIL said, she has enough sweaters! I got to see her once wearing it.
As much as it hurts me, I won't be making as much for her, thanks to her Mother,
I too have learned to crochet only for people who appreciate, children,
Some of the kids are now asking for certain characters, the little 8 yr. old girl
across the street gets the most, doll clothes, ponchos, purses, etc., I actually see her
playing with the toys and wearing the ponchos. She appreciates so she gets the crocheted gifts.


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## shoppingwithsunshine (Jul 25, 2012)

rainie said:


> I think that is a good use for a toy outgrown.


I was delighted to see it still being used !


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## lupadom (Aug 5, 2017)

I do most of my crafts for charities that request the items.I love to knit and crochet ,much cheaper and longer lasting than going to the cinema or theatre for entertainment I only make for family or friends if they request the item and choose their colours,this way I know they will use it.My knitting etc is for my pleasure,it is a bonus if someone else likes it and will use it


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## talulakat (Jan 22, 2016)

shoppingwithsunshine said:


> Nothing more galling than seeing your knitting in a dog's bed - I know - my brother tried very hard to offer an explanation. Never knitted for them again .
> Knitted a wee doll for my hairdresser's baby - saw it years later in a box of toys to occupy children while their mums were busy getting their hair done !


Try to think of it this way...our pets are family and he gave the item to a family member that needed it more than him and the doll is making other children happy so your gift is reaching more than you expected. You still don't have to knit for them. Hey knit a sweater for the dog and maybe make some more dolls for a shelter for the children.


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## LovesK2P2 (Oct 12, 2016)

I also limit my gift of knitting items to the people who ask for them, I haven't done strangers yet, mainly neighbors and co-workers. When my first niece was born I made all these cute sun dresses and a velvet Christmas dress. Then one day I was at my SIL's house and there was a huge bag of items to go for charity pickup. I immediately saw the all the items I had sewn in there, but she had outgrown them and although I was heartbroken, why should my SIL keep them. I just hope someone else got to appreciate them for a short time.


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## riversong200 (Apr 20, 2014)

I do knit for family who are deemed knit worthy. Sometimes the knits are requested and sometimes I just do them as a gift. I also used to knit for craft fairs and never worried about what the new owner was going to do with the item. Covid shut down all the craft fairs and now I have an invalid husband which precludes me from leaving the house for anything other than a quick trip to the grocery or pharmacy (both within a mile from the house) but I'm getting itchy fingers to start crafting for fairs again. Anything I make for baby gifts I try to make larger than newborn sizes, but I know they have a limited wearing time so I don't fret about it.


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## Jessica-Jean (Mar 14, 2011)

lupadom said:


> I do most of my crafts for charities that request the items.I love to knit and crochet ,much cheaper and longer lasting than going to the cinema or theatre for entertainment I only make for family or friends if they request the item and choose their colours,this way I know they will use it.*My knitting etc is for my pleasure,it is a bonus if someone else likes it and will use it*


EXACTLY!!! 👍


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## Fidrocki (Nov 4, 2019)

I only give items to close family members--son, daughter, niece, hubby, etc.--and only if they told me they would like something, after seeing the pattern and the yarn.

I think it is hard--the average person really cannot appreciate the time and effort, not to mention expense, put into an item. I love to do celtic cables, and have had family members tell me that I can make blankets and scarfs to sell at craft fairs. When I explain that it takes me months to make something, not to mention the cost of the yarn, we are talking several hundred dollars for a scarf, never mind a blanket. Actually, that's why I started knitting again after a hundred year break. My daughter fell in love with a beautiful cable scarf at a store; it was lovely. It was also $175; this was a long time ago. Well, I could so make that scarf and that price was ridiculous and the rest is history.

A friend once told me that I add beauty to the world with each thing I make. I suppose I should make her something


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## mathrox (Jun 17, 2019)

knit&purl said:


> I have very little opportunity to do charity knitting where I am. I've tried and tried to find somewhere that will accept and I can't find anything.
> 
> I once knit some boot cuffs for my husbands niece and put them under their tree when we went to visit. Her mother had cut my children out of their gift buying list but I thought I would try to be the bigger person and gift her daughter a small token. Funny thing was it was the only gift under the tree as they had a dog and he liked to mess with the gifts. The dog was in a kennel at the time so I know they found the gift. I never received acknowledgement from anyone so that was the end of that.


I must say, that I had never seen boot cuffs before I joined KP. Is it possible they found them but didn’t know what they were? Did you leave a note?
Just playing Devil’s Advocate, here.
I crocheted a bunch of Möbius Fidgets and forgot to enclose a note as to what they were when I donated them to the dementia unit at a local nursing home. On my next donation run, I asked to speak to the outreach person (who received the items). We sat down to talk and I asked her about the fidgets. She pulled the bag of them out of her desk drawer and said, “you mean these ‘hair scrunchies’? We wondered who would make ponytail holders for elderly women in a nursing home”. We laughed, I demonstrated their use, and she requested more.
So, trying to look on the optimistic side of your story …. Maybe they just didn’t know what they were and didn’t want to look stupid???


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## knit&purl (Feb 4, 2019)

mathrox said:


> I must say, that I had never seen boot cuffs before I joined KP. Is it possible they found them but didn’t know what they were? Did you leave a note?
> Just playing Devil’s Advocate, here.
> I crocheted a bunch of Möbius Fidgets and forgot to enclose a note as to what they were when I donated them to the dementia unit at a local nursing home. On my next donation run, I asked to speak to the outreach person (who received the items). We sat down to talk and I asked her about the fidgets. She pulled the bag of them out of her desk drawer and said, “you mean these ‘hair scrunchies’? We wondered who would make ponytail holders for elderly women in a nursing home”. We laughed, I demonstrated their use, and she requested more.
> So, trying to look on the optimistic side of your story …. Maybe they just didn’t know what they were and didn’t want to look stupid???


*Good point but I did include a picture with the pattern because I don't think I'd heard of them either until I was asked to make them for a girl similar in age to the niece.*


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## mathrox (Jun 17, 2019)

knit&purl said:


> *Good point but I did include a picture with the pattern because I don't think I'd heard of them either until I was asked to make them for a girl similar in age to the niece.*


Then there is no excuse … I wouldn’t make anything more for them. 
Sometimes I try to be Pollyanna …. then I revert to my true colors … Lolol


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## Jessica-Jean (Mar 14, 2011)

Fidrocki said:


> I only give items to close family members--son, daughter, niece, hubby, etc.--and only if they told me they would like something, after seeing the pattern and the yarn.
> 
> I think it is hard--the average person really cannot appreciate the time and effort, not to mention expense, put into an item. I love to do celtic cables, and have had family members tell me that I can make blankets and scarfs to sell at craft fairs. When I explain that it takes me months to make something, not to mention the cost of the yarn, we are talking several hundred dollars for a scarf, never mind a blanket. Actually, that's why I started knitting again after a hundred year break. My daughter fell in love with a beautiful cable scarf at a store; it was lovely. It was also $175; this was a long time ago. Well, I could so make that scarf and that price was ridiculous and the rest is history.
> 
> A friend once told me that I add beauty to the world with each thing I make. I suppose I should make her something


I love your friend!!! What a nice thing to say!! 👍


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## kpalanci (Feb 8, 2018)

I learned years ago to only knit an item for another person if it's requested. One year, I offered to knit something for my brother's spouse and my brother declined, stating it wouldn't be worn. Many people do seem to prefer the commercial look of store bought items. I knit for myself (I have lovely hand knit garments now) and for charity. Prior to giving a gift of a hand knit item, we need to ask ourselves "is this person knit worthy?"


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## simplyelizabeth (Sep 15, 2012)

My thoughts have always been that no one loves and appreciates what we make more than another knitter.


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## dwilhelm (Dec 29, 2011)

I very rarely. give anything I make to someone I know. When I do, I try to forget about it. If I make something I do not want, I just donate it to a good cause


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## kalabu (Sep 3, 2013)

charliesaunt said:


> I read a comment on KP yesterday from a Gram who had knit a beautiful dress for her granddaughter and gave it to her as a gift. She went on to say, she did see it worn once, on the day it was gifted. She then learned soon after that it was put in a bag and given to someone with other items by her daughter.
> 
> DID YOU EVER WONDER??? We go through patterns and yarns sometimes for hours to choose a pattern and a suitable yarn to make a "special" item as a gift. Yes, I know, and I understand, when we give a gift...we "give" it and that's where our involvement ends. Hours of knitting (in most cases are beneficial to our psyche) made with love and given as a part of ourselves. How many have ever seen their items being used???
> 
> I am fortunate in that I know most of the items I make are worn and loved. They are requested by my family.and eagerly awaited. The other items go to charities who accept and then request.


My d-i-l once showed me a photo of a little girl in a beautiful knit poncho that she loved. I painstakingly searched the net until I found that pattern and knit that beautiful poncho for my granddaughter complete with custom wooden owl decorative buttons as my granddaughter loves owls. It turned out beautiful and I was so proud of it! Never once did I see her wear it nor did I ever get a photo of her in it. Due to the design, she could have worn this for several years and not outgrown it. I once asked my gd about it and she had no idea what I was referring to. It makes me sad. However, other items I have knit for her -- mostly toys -- they have taught her how special they are and she treats them as the heirlooms they will end up being. So at least I have that!


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## harter0310 (Nov 13, 2012)

Yes, I wonder how often something was made and given only to be re-gifted or packed away. I made so many things for my mother when she was living. She would display it for about a week and then wrap it up in tissue paper and put it away to "save it". I crocheted a tablecloth for her one year that measured 107 inches by 60 inches done in a small crochet thread. I worked on it for one complete year off and on. It stayed on her table during Christmas that year and then was packed up and she left directions for when she was gone, it went to my daughter. My daughter has it wrapped up and tucked away too. I do have an afghan that was made for her that was given back to me when she was gone. It was on the foot of her bed for about a week and then packed away.


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## gardencitygranny (6 mo ago)

shoppingwithsunshine said:


> Nothing more galling than seeing your knitting in a dog's bed - I know - my brother tried very hard to offer an explanation. Never knitted for them again .
> Knitted a wee doll for my hairdresser's baby - saw it years later in a box of toys to occupy children while their mums were busy getting their hair done !


Gave an afghan as a house warming present. Within a year it developed a weak spot and needed to be mended. Before we could get together to do the mending she informed me that she had given it to the cat for a bed. Frankly, I was delighted that it didn't go in the trash can instead. Of course, I'm an animal lover and that explains that


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## gardencitygranny (6 mo ago)

charliesaunt said:


> I read a comment on KP yesterday from a Gram who had knit a beautiful dress for her granddaughter and gave it to her as a gift. She went on to say, she did see it worn once, on the day it was gifted. She then learned soon after that it was put in a bag and given to someone with other items by her daughter.
> 
> DID YOU EVER WONDER??? We go through patterns and yarns sometimes for hours to choose a pattern and a suitable yarn to make a "special" item as a gift. Yes, I know, and I understand, when we give a gift...we "give" it and that's where our involvement ends. Hours of knitting (in most cases are beneficial to our psyche) made with love and given as a part of ourselves. How many have ever seen their items being used???
> 
> I am fortunate in that I know most of the items I make are worn and loved. They are requested by my family.and eagerly awaited. The other items go to charities who accept and then request.


Funny you should mention this. I recently had a conversation with a young lady and it went something like this:
Me: Would it be OK if I knit something for the baby.
She: Of course.
Me: What would you like?. After an extensive conversation, we settled on a christening blanket. When she mentioned that it would only be used once my heart sank (6 month’s work for 2 hours) and I replied “well, if you can find something you’d like better please let me know – I can knit almost anything.” 
Result: Less than two weeks later she emailed me a pattern for a teddy bear……….Whew! I think we were both relieved and delighted!


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## Laurpud (Aug 6, 2018)

mea said:


> I guess I can see both sides. Some people just don’t appreciate hand-made items but I don’t think there’s anything bad about that. Givers need to really know their audience or accept the chance that their gift may not be welcome. But people should at least have some class and know how to accept an unwanted gift (and even how to dissuade anything further) without offending the giver.
> 
> This reminded me of an experience at work (although a bit off-topic and not knitting related). I’m a scrapbooker and put a ton of time and energy into my pages, especially the heritage ones. A recently married co-worker casually asked if she could bring her wedding pics in for me to “do something with”, like it was no big deal and I was looking for something to do. I still get aggravated remembering this yet I know she meant no harm. Some people just don’t get it.


Is there a chance that she wanted beautiful scrapbook embellishments, had no idea how to do them, but knew that you did? Maybe she was putting out feelers to see if you were open to the idea


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## madkennedy (Apr 2, 2017)

All these comments affirm my decision to only knit for charity. Additionally, once when my son was working where we live, I gave him gifts (purchased) for all three of his children to take back with him. We don't live nearby so randomly dropping in with presents doesn't happen. Two of the children are twins (born in October) and one in January. DIL wouldn't let the children have the presents until right on their birthdays. The one in January annually has a big party and receives between 20 and 25 presents. Getting an "off cycle" birthday/regular gift in September should have been a special treat - but no - not from me. This DIL took the baby blanket I knit for the oldest and used it as a changing pad. (It was a beautiful cabled Aran pattern.) Never saw the two matching blankets I made for the twins after the day I gave them to them. The girl twin showed me on Facetime she had wrapped her Barbie in a ribbon for new clothes. For a minute, I thought "I could knit her up some Barbie dresses and send them to her." And then, I remembered she would likely never see them so I didn't. Sent a check to the oldest last year for her birthday - never heard a word but my son mentioned something offhand like his wife took the money. So ours is a larger issue than just knitting but I am too tired and too old to argue about it and never going to knit for any of them again.


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## pfoley (Nov 29, 2011)

I never knit or crochet for a person unless they ask me for something or if I am sure they would like it.
My daughter and granddaughters loved the blanket yarn blankets I made for myself and each one of them asked if I could make one for them. They each picked out the colors. They still tell me how much they love their blankets. I guess because they are very soft and cuddly. I only make something for them if they ask. I just enjoy knitting and crocheting things for myself and home. I do crochet or knit a couple of little Xmas tree ornaments that I give my grandchildren each year along with their gifts that they seem to enjoy.


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## mousepotato (May 30, 2011)

I don’t have many grands to knit for, and they are lol adults now anyway, but I have found myself knitting Christmas stockings and a tree ornament for new babies now. I have beaded ornament patterns and they take no time to knit, and a number of stocking patterns to choose from. They do get used every year and I can promise you baby won’t get a duplicate.


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## jberg (Mar 23, 2011)

Me again: the one who made the GD the patterned dress which was never used. I have made each Grand a blanket when they were born and it warmed my heart on my recent visit to AK to see many of them still being used. The 8 yr old boy got a beautiful (if I must say so) log cabin one and he still takes it with him on camping and church trips. I think it was shrunk a lot but that doesn't matter. It's hard not to make things for them but then I remind myself that the items might not be used. I do make the AK Grands fleece socks and hats and I know they get used. Am finishing up a pair of spiral socks for the MA GD. I've decided even tho it's "just socks" it will be a Christmas present along with a sleeper since the socks have taken a lot of time to do. I have a small knitting group here and we make items for charity all the time esp bereavement items for babies. We are currently making 43 hats for people in a rehab program. Even tho these won't ever be seen we know they will be appreciated. Knitting for others is always a quandary, isn't it? But we knitters love it. Happy Needling. jberg


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## JudithKnits (Sep 28, 2017)

My diary used to be full of disappointments of knitting something special that was not acknowledged or never seen on the recipient. Then I came to the realization that many of you have shared: give spontaneously to someone who admires a small item and make gifts for individuals only with previous consultation on pattern, color and yarn type. Since I also knit for charity and fairs, I have plenty to keep my needles busy and much less disappointment now.


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## Elation (Dec 28, 2012)

You reminded me that some long time ago, I went to a yard sale. A young woman with some entitled attitude was selling beautiful embroidered and smocked dresses for a young toddler to preschool aged. They were priced low, and I asked her if she was sure she wanted to sell these besides, for such a low price. They were like new. 

She said yes, that her MIL in England would send these dresses (cannot remember the brand but it was obviously of quality) and that she hated them. I countered that little girls look so lovely in them, etc., as she grew adamant. I bought them as they fit my daughter and she grew into them but to honor that MIL. It was heartbreaking. 

It made me wonder how many of my handmade items were cast aside after planning the personality, coloring, fit, etc., for the recipient. Sometimes I had to special order expensive yarn and wait for months. I then decided to stop needlework for others unless it was for a charity that was needed or appreciated. 

Things my Granny made for me, I still have, and took a picture of myself with them not long before she passed and I heard she was so touched. I even have a pair of slippers an online friend made for me from another country. They are way too small for me but I still have them and look at them. I suppose it would be better to pass them on to someone who would wear and appreciate them but stalled with Covid.

The Golden Rule...Elation


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## cheri49 (Apr 27, 2011)

charliesaunt said:


> I read a comment on KP yesterday from a Gram who had knit a beautiful dress for her granddaughter and gave it to her as a gift. She went on to say, she did see it worn once, on the day it was gifted. She then learned soon after that it was put in a bag and given to someone with other items by her daughter.
> 
> DID YOU EVER WONDER??? We go through patterns and yarns sometimes for hours to choose a pattern and a suitable yarn to make a "special" item as a gift. Yes, I know, and I understand, when we give a gift...we "give" it and that's where our involvement ends. Hours of knitting (in most cases are beneficial to our psyche) made with love and given as a part of ourselves. How many have ever seen their items being used???
> 
> I am fortunate in that I know most of the items I make are worn and loved. They are requested by my family.and eagerly awaited. The other items go to charities who accept and then request.


I kni and crochet many items too numerous to list for kids and grandchildren and realized that they weren’t wor or used. It took most of the joy from making the items away. It is still difficult to make myself. It totally drained the joy of making and giving, I want it back


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## Kimbo58 (Jul 11, 2015)

shoppingwithsunshine said:


> Nothing more galling than seeing your knitting in a dog's bed - I know - my brother tried very hard to offer an explanation. Never knitted for them again .
> Knitted a wee doll for my hairdresser's baby - saw it years later in a box of toys to occupy children while their mums were busy getting their hair done !


Maybe she had just outgrown it. 🤷‍♀️


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## Kimbo58 (Jul 11, 2015)

I knit numerous things for my GD & never once saw them on her. So no more knitting for her.


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## jojo111 (Aug 2, 2014)

Charliesaunt,
Yes, you ARE lucky, and I am too. Most of the people I knit for really do like what I make. My grand-nephew just started college, and I just ordered yarn from Herschnner's because they have the college colors. He said he'd love me to knit him a scarf.


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## mea (Jan 21, 2011)

Laurpud said:


> Is there a chance that she wanted beautiful scrapbook embellishments, had no idea how to do them, but knew that you did? Maybe she was putting out feelers to see if you were open to the idea


 I’m sure she was hinting for me offer to make a wedding album for her. I did offer to help her make it, using all my paper, tools and embellishments. In fact, I love when I’m able to do that with friends since I have a great craft room and a crazy amount of supplies. (My kids call it “Mom’s Michaels”.) 

So I gave her my usual (truthful) answer that I just don’t have time. I’ve already got a lifetime’s worth of projects I’d like to try for myself or my family. I truly believe she was being complimentary and was proposing what she thought was a win-win offer…she’d have her wedding photos preserved nicely and I’d have a reason to do a hobby I love.

We were friendly coworkers and when she had a baby I knit a baby blanket and a toy airplane. Her partner is a commercial pilot so I thought it would be a perfect unexpected gift. She was appreciative but not too impressed, I could tell. (I wish I had a picture...the plane was adorable!) So I felt a bit disappointed but certainly not hurt. I think she’s just one of those people who feel “hand made” means “less than”, and I doubt her mind can be changed. (Just like me with American football, I guess. I don’t like it. I have no interest. …and yes, I do understand the game. Don’t try to convince me otherwise.)


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## 6M2Creations (Nov 1, 2012)

I've had some friends and family appreciate what I've made for them, and send photos of the items being worn/used. Others, not so much. I used to give a pair of knitted overalls where I embroidered the bib to match the buttons. My oldest niece thanked me for them 2 weeks before her second child was born. Yea, no. I'd mailed a friend Christmas gifts and a blanket for her new grand-daughter. It was the first one I'd designed myself, both colours and patterns. I had to email her and ask if she'd received the package. When she answered, she said that the blanket was "interesting". I replied that I hoped her daughter had donated it to someone who appreciated the time, effort and love that had gone into it. For that, and other reasons, we don't speak any more.


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## pawpawlover (Jun 10, 2012)

charliesaunt said:


> I read a comment on KP yesterday from a Gram who had knit a beautiful dress for her granddaughter and gave it to her as a gift. She went on to say, she did see it worn once, on the day it was gifted. She then learned soon after that it was put in a bag and given to someone with other items by her daughter.
> 
> DID YOU EVER WONDER??? We go through patterns and yarns sometimes for hours to choose a pattern and a suitable yarn to make a "special" item as a gift. Yes, I know, and I understand, when we give a gift...we "give" it and that's where our involvement ends. Hours of knitting (in most cases are beneficial to our psyche) made with love and given as a part of ourselves. How many have ever seen their items being used???
> 
> I am fortunate in that I know most of the items I make are worn and loved. They are requested by my family.and eagerly awaited. The other items go to charities who accept and then request.


I don’t knit for family anymore. I made with love cushions and have never seen them in use. It was disappointing, as I thought I had picked the right colour etc. So I now simply make things for charity and myself. I was asked by the family member, who disposed of the cushion, to knit slippers for her, but I declined.


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## kyrakay (Dec 20, 2017)

A few decades ago I had been laid off work and needed something to do. So I crocheted four king-sized bedspreads, pineapple design, #3 wt.. After gifting, I saw one family allowed their children to sit on it and get pulled around the room. She mentioned how much they all enjoyed it. Needless to say it did not last long. But then, this year she sent me a picture of a painted ceramic nativity set I did about the same time and she still has it and will not let others touch it.

Then more recently a neighbor ask if I would crochet crescent shawls for her to give as Christmas presents, any color I wanted. She ordered six and I made ten and let her take her choice. The rest I put with others to go to a craft show. I knew she would not have been happy with my color choice and this way she made the choice.


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## LEE1313 (Jan 25, 2011)

I was si hurt when I found out that my granddaughter threw away 2 dozen fingerless mitts I had made in school colors for her team.
DIL was in on it too.
NOW I wont make them anything.
I knit for charity. Right now Hats for Sailors is my full time project.
And a few baby blankets to donate when asked.

I feel so sad that others have no idea the time or money involved in knitting items.


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## tygger428 (Sep 14, 2015)

LEE1313 said:


> I was si hurt when I found out that my granddaughter threw away 2 dozen fingerless mitts I had made in school colors for her team.
> DIL was in on it too.
> NOW I wont make them anything.


—————————- 
I’m so sorry they did that. That would definitely put them on my “do not make anything for” list.


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## charliesaunt (Apr 22, 2011)

LEE1313 said:


> I was si hurt when I found out that my granddaughter threw away 2 dozen fingerless mitts I had made in school colors for her team.
> DIL was in on it too.
> NOW I wont make them anything.
> I knit for charity. Right now Hats for Sailors is my full time project.
> ...


So sorry. So much time wasted. They could have been worn, enjoyed and loved by people in assisted living who have arthritis.


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## gardencitygranny (6 mo ago)

Elation said:


> You reminded me that some long time ago, I went to a yard sale. A young woman with some entitled attitude was selling beautiful embroidered and smocked dresses for a young toddler to preschool aged. They were priced low, and I asked her if she was sure she wanted to sell these besides, for such a low price. They were like new.
> 
> She said yes, that her MIL in England would send these dresses (cannot remember the brand but it was obviously of quality) and that she hated them. I countered that little girls look so lovely in them, etc., as she grew adamant. I bought them as they fit my daughter and she grew into them but to honor that MIL. It was heartbreaking.
> 
> ...


How sweet of you to buy those dresses.


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## det5000 (Aug 29, 2019)

shoppingwithsunshine said:


> Nothing more galling than seeing your knitting in a dog's bed - I know - my brother tried very hard to offer an explanation. Never knitted for them again .


Oh dear, I am afraid I am guilty of this, but here is my side of the story: Over a few years, a friend gave us 3 full sized crocheted afghans. I still have and use 2 of them. The third one got used a lot and when it started to get worn, I found that when folded in fourths it made a lovely, thick, and soft bed for my old Great Dane. I loved that dog and the afghan was a blessing for him. Yes, he wore it out even faster, but I remember that afghan well and I was grateful to have it.


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## Byrney (Nov 9, 2015)

det5000 said:


> Oh dear, I am afraid I am guilty of this, but here is my side of the story: Over a few years, a friend gave us 3 full sized crocheted afghans. I still have and use 2 of them. The third one got used a lot and when it started to get worn, I found that when folded in fourths it made a lovely, thick, and soft bed for my old Great Dane. I loved that dog and the afghan was a blessing for him. Yes, he wore it out even faster, but I remember that afghan well and I was grateful to have it.


I’ve done the same with things I’ve knit myself. It’s what we’re supposed to do - recycle and keep things working for as long as possible. 

Many years ago I knit a 4ply Aran sweater for my large (then) husband. When he became my ex I put that sweater in the dog’s bed. I wasn’t going to throw it away.


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## wendyinwonderland (Dec 28, 2013)

charliesaunt said:


> I read a comment on KP yesterday from a Gram who had knit a beautiful dress for her granddaughter and gave it to her as a gift. She went on to say, she did see it worn once, on the day it was gifted. She then learned soon after that it was put in a bag and given to someone with other items by her daughter.
> 
> DID YOU EVER WONDER??? We go through patterns and yarns sometimes for hours to choose a pattern and a suitable yarn to make a "special" item as a gift. Yes, I know, and I understand, when we give a gift...we "give" it and that's where our involvement ends. Hours of knitting (in most cases are beneficial to our psyche) made with love and given as a part of ourselves. How many have ever seen their items being used???
> 
> I am fortunate in that I know most of the items I make are worn and loved. They are requested by my family.and eagerly awaited. The other items go to charities who accept and then request.


It's sad but true. Wool is a very special fiber and it takes a certain kind of person to value it. I like mostly to knit with natural fibers--especially wool. But wool items need to be washed by hand. And who does that these days?!? Wool is also likely to get moth holes. I have a beautiful sweater here by me now that had a moth hole in it before I even finished knitting it. (Well, it was a WIP--Work in Progress--for a looong time.) 

I think that people like to wear what everyone else is wearing. They like to look like other people and there are fashion trends and styles each season. Asking people to stand out in a garment that is one of a kind means calling attention to the person wearing that item that might not be comfortable for them.

I am really flattered when people admire something I wear that is unusual. But I know it calls their attention because it is the only one like that around.

I think a good item to knit for others is a scarf. A scarf, in the winter, can really make you warmer. It covers that area between your hat and your jacket that is always left bare. I wear my scarf one layer over the other UNDER my coat. That really gives extra wear to my "CORE" which, if kept warm, will help my overall comfort.

Another good item is a pillow, afghan or blanket--something for the home and not really a fashion statement making the recipient into a model!

Wool gloves or mittens might be really welcome. They are not that easy to find. Synthetic fibers are not going to be as warm as wool.

I advise people to wash their wool items in the shower. Just squish them around in our hands, with soap, rinse, roll in a towel to get rid of most of the water, lay flat to dry!


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## Bernadettebunty (Nov 3, 2012)

My Granny used to say there is nowt so queer as folks! I suppose we all have different tastes and ideas. Making for other people, unless specifics are requested, is a very hit or miss activity. I remember many moons ago my eldest daughter and I were attending Art College together at the same time working part-time in retail (Pet Shop) to pay for the course. One year at Valentine's Day we made personal cards for each of the young lads we were working with. Four were over the moon to receive them - to see them selves in cartoon form and the cards unique to themselves - the fifth tore his up and threw it away - because - "We didn't think enough of him to BUY him a card!" 
My brother married a girl (now my ex-SIL) she already had a young son, they soon were expecting and had a daughter, they were always strapped for money, she began mithering on about christening dresses for the baby - I had a 'bit' of material, white bridal satin left over from another project, so I made a gown with pin-tucks on the bodice, slightly larger tucks on the skirt and trimmed with lace. A similar style with inferior fabric was on sale for £40+ (this in 1990s). She knocked it back as "It wasn't frilly enough!" I gave it away to a regular customer that came into the pet shop who had two daughters both pregnant. She came into the shop to show me photographs of the babies wearing the dress and that was thanks enough. SIL ended up with a short dress, no lace, no frills that she got last minute from a Charity shop. When my eldest daughter got married this SIL insisted we'd promised her 3 daughters would be bridesmaids - NO! - Anyway to keep the peace we said they could be flower girls - I went out and bought toning cotton seer-sucker fabric to fit in with bride and bridesmaids and made them dresses that with the hem taken up could be worn as everyday dresses for a while after. I never saw them again as SIL put them in the washing machine with a 'mixed' load and put them on boil wash and ruined them.
Thankfully the daughters are more like their Dad and are a lot more appreciative of anything I make for them whether sewn, knitted or crocheted. The middle daughter has learned to crochet so she can make her own things. 
On the + side - My eldest grandson when his partner was expecting their first child, a boy, they had a Baby Shower and she was presented with a lot of hand knits and crochet - now 5 years on and last week I saw that Gt-grandson #3 was wrapped in a crochet blanket that she'd been given at that shower. BTW it wasn't one that I had made but I appreciated it on behalf of the maker.


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## Caroline19 (Jun 6, 2011)

MoCoop said:


> I learned 45 years ago, I painstakingly sewed and embroidered an entire layette and crochetted a pair of darling booties for my sister in law's new baby. She was not thrilled, may I say. She actually gave the booties back to me, about the worst insult she could do. She used the pieces of the layette for cleaning rags.
> She was deeply offended when I did not attend the baby shower for her next infant. That she was as upset as I had been pleased me no end. (I hope I have since outgrown such pettiness, but it did feel good at the time)
> I did buy her a case of Pampers when her baby arrived.
> Now I will only give a relative something I've made if they ask me to make it. (or if they really like it after it's done)
> I give most of what I make away, mostly to strangers, they stop me in a store to admire it, they get it, then and there.


A dear friend of mine decided he would make full size blankets for his 8 grandchildren. He was concerned that they would not appreciate or even use them. So i suggested he get his grandkids involved in this mammoth project. So he sent each kid an envelope with 3 pattern options, 3 samples of yarn and 3 colours, a self addressed stamped envelope and a letter explaining that IF they wished a Grandpa Blanket then they had to be involved. If he did not receive an envelope back with their choices then he would not make them a blanket. All 8 grandkids returned their envelopes so my friend began this huge project!! It took 3+ years to complete all 8 blankets. When he prepared packing up the blankets for shipping i suggested that he include an information sheet that would include # of balls of wool, total yardage of wool used, total # of stitches, # of hours it took to knit it and the labour costs - minumum wage of $13 an hour times # of hours to knit it - and washing instructions. The kids were overwhelmed with the facts sheet and all 8 blankets are loved and used regularly. I am now enbarking on a similar project for my own family of 10 and the first 2 have been given with fact sheet included. I also design my own blankets so included the signed and dated hand drawn design sheets as well. So far, big success. My grandson and niece both told me they had no idea what went into knitting their blankets and made them appreciate their gifts that much more!! People who do not craft have no idea the work that goes into our gifts. I'm now on blanket #3. I pray i live long enough to finish this big project!!


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## peanutpatty (Oct 14, 2012)

jberg said:


> Me again: the one who made the GD the patterned dress which was never used. I have made each Grand a blanket when they were born and it warmed my heart on my recent visit to AK to see many of them still being used. The 8 yr old boy got a beautiful (if I must say so) log cabin one and he still takes it with him on camping and church trips. I think it was shrunk a lot but that doesn't matter. It's hard not to make things for them but then I remind myself that the items might not be used. I do make the AK Grands fleece socks and hats and I know they get used. Am finishing up a pair of spiral socks for the MA GD. I've decided even tho it's "just socks" it will be a Christmas present along with a sleeper since the socks have taken a lot of time to do. I have a small knitting group here and we make items for charity all the time esp bereavement items for babies. We are currently making 43 hats for people in a rehab program. Even tho these won't ever be seen we know they will be appreciated. Knitting for others is always a quandary, isn't it? But we knitters love it. Happy Needling. jberg


I made each of the grandchildren a quilt when they graduated. When I visited my daughter I noticed grandson had a quilt on his bed that I had made for his mother a few years before. I asked her if GS hadn't liked the quilt I had made. She said, "Oh, no. He loves it. He is saving it for when he moves out and doesn't want anything to happen to it in the meantime".


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## mathrox (Jun 17, 2019)

harter0310 said:


> Yes, I wonder how often something was made and given only to be re-gifted or packed away. I made so many things for my mother when she was living. She would display it for about a week and then wrap it up in tissue paper and put it away to "save it". I crocheted a tablecloth for her one year that measured 107 inches by 60 inches done in a small crochet thread. I worked on it for one complete year off and on. It stayed on her table during Christmas that year and then was packed up and she left directions for when she was gone, it went to my daughter. My daughter has it wrapped up and tucked away too. I do have an afghan that was made for her that was given back to me when she was gone. It was on the foot of her bed for about a week and then packed away.


My mother lived through the Great Depression … and consequently, had a ‘depression mentality’. She saved things like string, rubber bands, even used gift wrap! (it was torture watching her ever so carefully open a gift), and she always ‘saved’ her most lovely things for a ‘special’ occasion. And nothing was ever really ‘special’ enough.
We bought her a set of lightweight luggage for the only trip she ever took … to California … and when she returned, we discovered that she had returned the luggage we bought because it was too good for her and bought cheaper, heavier luggage for the trip.
The set of lovely bathroom towels that I bought for her to replace her threadbare ones, couldn’t be returned because I had removed the tags and washed them before giving them.
When she died and I cleaned out her home, I found them in the linen closet, in the gift box. Never used. They went to college with my eldest.
Her ‘good‘ China and silver plate (not solid silver) ended up in my house BUT I had my own stuff, as do my kids … so I sold them at my yard sale when I needed to downsize.
Such a waste … she never enjoyed anything because she didn’t believe she was worthy of anything ‘nice’.
Maybe your MIL had the same mindset? She wanted someone else, more deserving, to enjoy them.
and my mother was a knitter and knit for herself and my children and grandchildren … but only used very inexpensive yarns.


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## torregro (Jun 28, 2016)

I knit because I enjoy knitting. I don't randomly gift people with knitted items that they haven't asked for. For instance, I absolutely love to do exceptionally complicated and intricately patterned circular "baby afghans". They aren't practical for babies at all, but I love to make them. So I give them to the local hospital for their Spread the Love program and they are gifted to very ill adult patients. I have been thanked profusely for them and it doesn't matter that they aren't practical. I'm a process knitter, really. Once the item is finished, I don't actually care where it ends up as long as someone enjoys it.


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## ilmacheryl (Feb 3, 2013)

I recently asked my nearly 20 year old granddaughter to come over and go through my jewelry. I still have way more than I can use. Anyway, while she was here, I showed her a cape that I had crocheted many years ago and a sweater that I had knitted not quite as long ago. She loved both pieces and took them back to college with her. I was thrilled!


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## mathrox (Jun 17, 2019)

Elation said:


> You reminded me that some long time ago, I went to a yard sale. A young woman with some entitled attitude was selling beautiful embroidered and smocked dresses for a young toddler to preschool aged. They were priced low, and I asked her if she was sure she wanted to sell these besides, for such a low price. They were like new.
> 
> She said yes, that her MIL in England would send these dresses (cannot remember the brand but it was obviously of quality) and that she hated them. I countered that little girls look so lovely in them, etc., as she grew adamant. I bought them as they fit my daughter and she grew into them but to honor that MIL. It was heartbreaking.
> 
> ...


My MIL lived near a factory outlet for Polly Flinders clothing. Smocked and embroidered girls wear ... dresses, some French designed suits … anyway, I owned one of each style and as my daughter grew, they continued to come in the bigger sizes.
It is not that I didn’t love them but let’s talk reality here: little girls are no longer dressed in frilly dresses for daytime play. My kids lived in onesies, shorts, t-shirts, and jeans and dresses were for picture days and holidays. They just aren’t as comfortable in the dresses.
In fact, I had an incredibly well made, off-white, sweatsuit for the older one with slashes of color, trimming the many inset, tiny pockets. It washed like a dream and was passed to my younger one. One day she came home crying that the nursery teacher wouldn’t let her paint (she is my artist) Because mommy would get ‘mad’ if she came home with paint knit. I got mad, all right. The next day I approached the teacher, asked her if she saw ‘stupid’ written on my forehead, told her that I well knew what kids played with in nursery school, and I dressed my kids appropriately.
There were only so many dresses my girls could wear and I asked my MIL not to send any more dresses … majority of the dresses ended up being re-gifted (still had the tags on) and later donated.


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## jberg (Mar 23, 2011)

Polly Flinders dresses were a big thing when my daughters were little. I think they had a dress or two like that. Neighbor's daughter had a closet full. As for the nursery school story: I taught preschool for few years. There was one little girl who always came in dressed to the hilt: velvet dresses, a velvet coat and matching hat, eyelets, laces, you name it. I did remind the parents once that we finger painted, played with clay, did "messy" stuff. They didn't seem to mind if she got messy. (She never did.) jberg


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## Elation (Dec 28, 2012)

LEE1313 said:


> I was so hurt when I found out that my granddaughter threw away 2 dozen fingerless mitts...I feel so sad that others have no idea the time or money involved in knitting items.


I would knit socks while watching my daughter in various dance classes, and the other mothers ran off to shop. Once one of them said in a snide way, "Can't you just BUY socks?" I responded that these feel superb in winter and that I have evidence of time spent along with the joy of watching my DD. She was silent. 

Others asked me to knit some for them and when I stated (at the time) that the yarn cost was about $25, they were shocked. I said I darn commercial socks (SmartWool) and an older woman said she just tosses her worn-out socks. I responded that SmartWool socks start at $20 and are nice so worth darning. Again, silence. 

People judge as they lack knowledge and empathy. 

Elation


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## Elation (Dec 28, 2012)

mathrox said:


> One day she came home crying that the nursery teacher wouldn’t let her paint (she is my artist) Because mommy would get ‘mad’ if she came home with paint knit...


DD was done with smocked things I made before kindergarten. For both kids (22 years apart) I made a gathered neck and cuffs flared smock for them to put on over their clothes for things like fingerpainting, etc. When in elementary school, they had a kid's apron. I pre-decorated them with press-ons and splashes of paint so it was obvious what they were for to everyone and they knew to put them on regardless. I made a larger one for DD when she was in higher grades as they were doing newspaper printing or something like that (and added a thin middle layer to protect clothing, just in case). 

Most stains come out but I don't understand why a teacher wouldn't tape paper on a roll around your daughter or something, vs. taking her out of the activity unless it was a passive-aggressive message to the mother. One just has to take things with a grain of salt, I guess...but that seems to come with age. 

A woman was upset her some came with frost bitten ears after going ice fishing with Boy Scouts. I couldn't understand her sending her kid out like that (though she grew up in a warmer climate) nor that den dads wouldn't take some extra caps and mittens in case someone forgot or wasn't warm enough. 

Knitting/crocheting hats is always a good charity thing, though I prefer to make infant cardis for international and domestic charities. At least it will eventually go to someone who appreciates it.

Elation


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## kathyc248 (Sep 13, 2016)

This certainly rings a bell for me. I have a tale of two babies, one great nephew and one great niece that were due about six weeks apart this summer. I was so happy to get a photo of baby boy wearing his onesie lying on the blanket I knit for him. The little girl was gifted a little hat, dress and blanket I made. I may yet see a picture of her but I won't be holding my breath. I just think of the joy I had knitting for her and not have any expectations beyond that.


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## Elation (Dec 28, 2012)

mathrox said:


> My mother lived through the Great Depression...She wanted someone else, more deserving, to enjoy them...and my mother was a knitter and knit for herself and my children and grandchildren … but only used very inexpensive yarns.


I knew a woman who crocheted tablecloths for all three grown daughters, but she did them in string that dept stores used to tie up brown paper purchases in. Of course, the daughters threw them in the washer and there was shrinkage and breakage. All of them know at least the basics of knitting or crochet. I never understood why they never purchased the crochet cotton as they all had money. 

She would get frustrated in not having yarn and would take tree branches to clean as best she could to use for knitting needles. So, I bought her needles and some lovely yarn and made sure her supply was replenished as she made a lot of TV slippers (ribbed toe portion and garter for the majority). I just never understood any of it, but those three girls were the same way when she was dying...no compassion.

Then again, my mother passed recently and so things are being sent back to me. I realized I was too generous to her and not to myself. I think many needleworkers do things out of pure love, but the love isn't seen. My ex-MIL would almost freak out and balk at a homemade present made to stellar perfection. She grew up poor so I guess it triggered her so store-bought was best. I grew up that handmade was better quality and non-replicateable than RTW and typically appreciated. So though generous, I lacked empathy to my MIL and myself, as I needed things more than my mother did who could buy anything she wanted at any time. 

It is an experience of realization but mostly to value one's self and their own work as others may not (on either front).

Best, Elation


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## gardenpoet (Jun 24, 2016)

talulakat said:


> Try to think of it this way...our pets are family and he gave the item to a family member that needed it more than him and the doll is making other children happy so your gift is reaching more than you expected. You still don't have to knit for them. Hey knit a sweater for the dog and maybe make some more dolls for a shelter for the children.


I kind of agree with this. I don't feel about dogs the way my sister does hers, so I try to be understanding that when she puts that blanket I made for her on the couch for her dog, she was happy to have something nice for somebody she loved.


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## yona (Feb 7, 2011)

Glad you posted this topic. It's been aggravating knitting for my grandkids as daughter is very particular and very vocal in her comments about the choice, pattern and style I make for them So, I don't knit for them anymore and do charity knitting and local give aways to new moms and babies.


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## knitbreak (Jul 19, 2011)

peanutpatty said:


> I no longer make anything for anyone unless they ask, and spell out the style and colour. I realize my taste does not necessarily match anyone else's. I am happy knitting/crocheting for myself.


I understand and just do what ever etc.


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## janenedrow53 (Jul 3, 2013)

charliesaunt said:


> I read a comment on KP yesterday from a Gram who had knit a beautiful dress for her granddaughter and gave it to her as a gift. She went on to say, she did see it worn once, on the day it was gifted. She then learned soon after that it was put in a bag and given to someone with other items by her daughter.
> 
> DID YOU EVER WONDER??? We go through patterns and yarns sometimes for hours to choose a pattern and a suitable yarn to make a "special" item as a gift. Yes, I know, and I understand, when we give a gift...we "give" it and that's where our involvement ends. Hours of knitting (in most cases are beneficial to our psyche) made with love and given as a part of ourselves. How many have ever seen their items being used???
> 
> I am fortunate in that I know most of the items I make are worn and loved. They are requested by my family.and eagerly awaited. The other items go to charities who accept and then request.


Last time I knit something for my husband, after a disagreement, he threw it in myface; & then to boot, when our eldest son came home to the U.S. (he and family had just gotten back from London where he was stationed for awhile), hubby told him that the vest I made him was not his style. At that point, I told him right then and there in front of our son, that I would never make him anything again. Now, when I show him a man's sweater/vest and tell him if I knew what size our youngest grandson wore (he is now 14 & a freshman in highschool) his comment is "I wish you'd make something like that for me". He seems to forget how he hurt me with his actions. The only recent thing I made & gave away was a set of hotpads for our youth pastor & his bride as a wedding gift.


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## peanutpatty (Oct 14, 2012)

mathrox said:


> My mother lived through the Great Depression … and consequently, had a ‘depression mentality’. She saved things like string, rubber bands, even used gift wrap! (it was torture watching her ever so carefully open a gift), and she always ‘saved’ her most lovely things for a ‘special’ occasion. And nothing was ever really ‘special’ enough.
> We bought her a set of lightweight luggage for the only trip she ever took … to California … and when she returned, we discovered that she had returned the luggage we bought because it was too good for her and bought cheaper, heavier luggage for the trip.
> The set of lovely bathroom towels that I bought for her to replace her threadbare ones, couldn’t be returned because I had removed the tags and washed them before giving them.
> When she died and I cleaned out her home, I found them in the linen closet, in the gift box. Never used. They went to college with my eldest.
> ...


When my grandmother passed we found a closet full of things that the family had given her, still brand new. She had been saving them for "Special Occasions" After emigrating from Scotland they spent their first few years living in a sod shack with next to nothing. Grandad was a successful farmer and businessman and they were well off in the later years. But the mentality of the early times stayed with her. My mother came through the depression and although she was extremely frugal all her life she did use and enjoy the things she was given.


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## charliesaunt (Apr 22, 2011)

peanutpatty said:


> When my grandmother passed we found a closet full of things that the family had given her, still brand new. She had been saving them for "Special Occasions" After emigrating from Scotland they spent their first few years living in a sod shack with next to nothing. Grandad was a successful farmer and businessman and they were well off in the later years. But the mentality of the early times stayed with her. My mother came through the depression and although she was extremely frugal all her life she did use and enjoy the things she was given.


I think a member of every family is of the same thinking...."I'll save this for a special occasion." I just went through 2 large bureaus and "found" some of the things, I've been saving for a special occasion. There were some things I've taken out and put in my closet to wear or use for their purpose. There are 2 things I will "keep for special occasions"...not because of what their use is, but because the person who gifted them to me has passed away and these bring back wonderful memories of them for me. So each time I see them, it is a special occasion...perhaps not the one it was made for, but a new purpose....they are now an expression of love and a hug.


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## Jessica-Jean (Mar 14, 2011)

wendyinwonderland said:


> It's sad but true. Wool is a very special fiber and it takes a certain kind of person to value it. I like mostly to knit with natural fibers--especially wool. But wool items need to be washed by hand. And who does that these days?!? Wool is also likely to get moth holes. I have a beautiful sweater here by me now that had a moth hole in it before I even finished knitting it. (Well, it was a WIP--Work in Progress--for a looong time.)
> 
> I think that people like to wear what everyone else is wearing. They like to look like other people and there are fashion trends and styles each season. Asking people to stand out in a garment that is one of a kind means calling attention to the person wearing that item that might not be comfortable for them.
> 
> ...


Showering with your woollies! What a great idea for little items!!
I don’t often knit with wool, but was given a mass of lovely dark purple superwash wool.
Before I had finished my very plain ruana, I found a moth hole. While weaving in ends, I duplicate-stitched that hole out of existence. However, should it get another moth hole in the future, I probably won’t have the leftover yarn to repair. ☹





Ravelry: JessicaJean's Poncho







www.ravelry.com


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## sbeth53 (Mar 29, 2011)

I have knit all of my grandchildren blankets, booties, hats, sweaters etc when they were babies and toddlers. Their Moms made sure I had pictures of them using/wearing the items. Since the kids have gotten older they only really want hats and neck warmers, either cowls or scarves. I'm good with that!


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## Jessica-Jean (Mar 14, 2011)

Caroline19 said:


> A dear friend of mine decided he would make full size blankets for his 8 grandchildren. He was concerned that they would not appreciate or even use them. So i suggested he get his grandkids involved in this mammoth project. So he sent each kid an envelope with 3 pattern options, 3 samples of yarn and 3 colours, a self addressed stamped envelope and a letter explaining that IF they wished a Grandpa Blanket then they had to be involved. If he did not receive an envelope back with their choices then he would not make them a blanket. All 8 grandkids returned their envelopes so my friend began this huge project!! It took 3+ years to complete all 8 blankets. When he prepared packing up the blankets for shipping i suggested that he include an information sheet that would include # of balls of wool, total yardage of wool used, total # of stitches, # of hours it took to knit it and the labour costs - minumum wage of $13 an hour times # of hours to knit it - and washing instructions. The kids were overwhelmed with the facts sheet and all 8 blankets are loved and used regularly. I am now enbarking on a similar project for my own family of 10 and the first 2 have been given with fact sheet included. I also design my own blankets so included the signed and dated hand drawn design sheets as well. So far, big success. My grandson and niece both told me they had no idea what went into knitting their blankets and made them appreciate their gifts that much more!! People who do not craft have no idea the work that goes into our gifts. I'm now on blanket #3. I pray i live long enough to finish this big project!!


Great ideas!!!
I can only hope to become so organized.


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## SeniorBiker (Dec 5, 2014)

charliesaunt said:


> I read a comment on KP yesterday from a Gram who had knit a beautiful dress for her granddaughter and gave it to her as a gift. She went on to say, she did see it worn once, on the day it was gifted. She then learned soon after that it was put in a bag and given to someone with other items by her daughter.
> 
> DID YOU EVER WONDER??? We go through patterns and yarns sometimes for hours to choose a pattern and a suitable yarn to make a "special" item as a gift. Yes, I know, and I understand, when we give a gift...we "give" it and that's where our involvement ends. Hours of knitting (in most cases are beneficial to our psyche) made with love and given as a part of ourselves. How many have ever seen their items being used???
> 
> I am fortunate in that I know most of the items I make are worn and loved. They are requested by my family.and eagerly awaited. The other items go to charities who accept and then request.


When my first (and only) granddaughter was born five years ago I knitted all kinds of clothing for her. One was a beautiful sweater with matching hat. I thought it was heirloom quality and would go into her box of "treasures". I'd told my daughter-in-law that if she received knit or crocheted items she didn't want to keep to give them to me and I would re-purpose the yarn. In the bag of outgrown/don't-want-anymore items she gave me was the beautiful "heirloom" set I'd knit. I must admit, I was hurt. I've also knit an illusions scarf for my DIL which I noticed my granddaughter plays with. Sigh. Oh well, I'll save some of the baby items so GD can use with her dolls when she visits. I've joined those of you who only knit for yourself, charities, or special orders.


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## Jessica-Jean (Mar 14, 2011)

mathrox said:


> My mother lived through the Great Depression … and consequently, had a ‘depression mentality’. She saved things like string, rubber bands, even used gift wrap! (it was torture watching her ever so carefully open a gift), and she always ‘saved’ her most lovely things for a ‘special’ occasion. And nothing was ever really ‘special’ enough.
> We bought her a set of lightweight luggage for the only trip she ever took … to California … and when she returned, we discovered that she had returned the luggage we bought because it was too good for her and bought cheaper, heavier luggage for the trip.
> The set of lovely bathroom towels that I bought for her to replace her threadbare ones, couldn’t be returned because I had removed the tags and washed them before giving them.
> When she died and I cleaned out her home, I found them in the linen closet, in the gift box. Never used. They went to college with my eldest.
> ...


My mother had much the same attitude. How can it be inherited? I knew none of the strictures of the Great Depression or WWII.


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## Byrney (Nov 9, 2015)

Jessica-Jean said:


> My mother had much the same attitude. How can it be inherited? I knew none of the strictures of the Great Depression or WWII.


They drummed it into us when we were children.

It’s only in the past few years that I’ve started using my “best” crockery for every day use. It’s lovely drinking my coffee out of a posh Denby cup, and eating cereal out of the matching breakfast bowl. 

Because I’m worth it!


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## Jessica-Jean (Mar 14, 2011)

Elation said:


> DD was done with smocked things I made before kindergarten. For both kids (22 years apart) I made a gathered neck and cuffs flared smock for them to put on over their clothes for things like fingerpainting, etc. When in elementary school, they had a kid's apron. I pre-decorated them with press-ons and splashes of paint so it was obvious what they were for to everyone and they knew to put them on regardless. I made a larger one for DD when she was in higher grades as they were doing newspaper printing or something like that (and added a thin middle layer to protect clothing, just in case).
> 
> Most stains come out but I don't understand why a teacher wouldn't tape paper on a roll around your daughter or something, vs. taking her out of the activity unless it was a passive-aggressive message to the mother. One just has to take things with a grain of salt, I guess...but that seems to come with age.
> 
> ...


My kids always had warm hats, yet my daughter - in about grade 3 - suffered thoroughly frostbitten ears, because some dimwitted teacher insisted the children go out to play at lunchtime on a bright, sunny, midwinter day with wind and colder than deep-freezer temperatures. She noticed that some kid had swiped my daughter’s hat, but couldn’t be bothered to step in and see to it that Majda’s ears be covered.
I complained to the principal, but I blame that incident for my daughter’s choice of city. From Fresno, one can *see* snow on mountaintops, but isn’t forced to experience it. 
Forty minutes at -20F didn’t cost her her ears, but was all too memorable.


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## Jessica-Jean (Mar 14, 2011)

janenedrow53 said:


> Last time I knit something for my husband, after a disagreement, he threw it in myface; & then to boot, when our eldest son came home to the U.S. (he and family had just gotten back from London where he was stationed for awhile), hubby told him that the vest I made him was not his style. At that point, I told him right then and there in front of our son, that I would never make him anything again. Now, when I show him a man's sweater/vest and tell him if I knew what size our youngest grandson wore (he is now 14 & a freshman in highschool) his comment is "I wish you'd make something like that for me". He seems to forget how he hurt me with his actions. The only recent thing I made & gave away was a set of hotpads for our youth pastor & his bride as a wedding gift.


Years before I met my husband, I had bought enough yarn to make a sampler afghan. It didn’t progress rapidly, because I was working nights and attending classes days. When we married, he saw the yarn and requested I use it to knit him a sweater. Besotted, I did. He selected the pattern. He selected the cable pattern for the fronts. I found buttons he liked and which perfectly matched the yarn. 
I knit it, getting him to try it on as it grew. 
The day I gave it to him, he put it on, took it off, and told me to take it apart and make it a bit bigger. That was close to fifty years ago. My youngest sister has been enjoying it ever since, and he’s still waiting for a sweater from my needles. Yes, we’re still married; this is year 51.


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## gsykim (May 12, 2019)

I knit because I love to knit. I craft because I enjoy the process. I gift and donate so I don’t get buried in all the stuff I make! I figure they do me a favour by taking it. Some people are happy some are less vocal. I make what I want but I will ask “permission“ for baby things so I don’t upset any grands out there that want to be the one that knits for their grand baby and I will ask for preferred colours. Other times, if someone admires something, it becomes theirs. I can make another. I fretted about the first baby blanket I made for a colleague as she hadn’t responded immediately. I later received a thank you note. I also saw the blanket used in baby photos and years later, I saw it on the back of a chair in a teams video call. I was thrilled she was still using it. I also learned that how and what I knit is knit for me and how it’s used is really none of my business. I also learned that for me, thinking beyond the joy I get from making has the potential of reducing my joy so I don’t.


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## grandmatimestwo (Mar 30, 2011)

I make a lot of baby sweaters for the young moms at work, but I never make anything without asking for color preferences and styles. I am usually told the same thing….no lace, no frills, ribbons, etc. Color choices are more individual, but it’s been a while since pink or baby blue were requested. Recently my daughter asked me to make fingerless gloves for her friend’s mom, who lives in a nursing home and always has cold hands. I was happy to make them, and now a few of her friends would like them, too. I’m happy to do this. My mom always had cold hands.


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## Jessica-Jean (Mar 14, 2011)

gsykim said:


> I knit because I love to knit. I craft because I enjoy the process. I gift and donate so I don’t get buried in all the stuff I make! I figure they do me a favour by taking it.
> … I also learned that how and what I knit is knit for me and how it’s used is really none of my business. I also learned that for me, *thinking beyond the joy I get from making has the potential of reducing my joy so I don’t.*


You are wise!!!


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## Byrney (Nov 9, 2015)

grandmatimestwo said:


> I make a lot of baby sweaters for the young moms at work, but I never make anything without asking for color preferences and styles. I am usually told the same thing….no lace, no frills, ribbons, etc. Color choices are more individual, but it’s been a while since pink or baby blue were requested. Recently my daughter asked me to make fingerless gloves for her friend’s mom, who lives in a nursing home and always has cold hands. I was happy to make them, and now a few of her friends would like them, too. I’m happy to do this. My mom always had cold hands.


I have made several pairs of fingerless gloves for an outdoor cameraman that I know. He needed to be able to manage the buttons on the camera. I put a pocket on the inside for a hand warmer. The first pair went when his car was broken into and the only thing that the thief took was the gloves. The second pair were stolen when he went indoors to film a press conference and he put them on the windowsill and they had gone when he turned around. After three or four pairs had gone missing I put a pair on a string to go through his sleeves, only as a joke of course.


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## peanutpatty (Oct 14, 2012)

Jessica-Jean said:


> My mother had much the same attitude. How can it be inherited? I knew none of the strictures of the Great Depression or WWII.


Not inherited, I don't think but I learned by watching my parents. Funny, now I watch my kids and their kids saving things, mending, making do where they can.

My whole family head for the thrift store first when they need something, and the family mantra seems to be, Don't buy on time if you can pay cash".


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## Jessica-Jean (Mar 14, 2011)

Byrney said:


> I have made several pairs of fingerless gloves for an outdoor cameraman that I know. He needed to be able to manage the buttons on the camera. I put a pocket on the inside for a hand warmer. The first pair went when his car was broken into and the only thing that the thief took was the gloves. The second pair were stolen when he went indoors to film a press conference and he put them on the windowsill and they had gone when he turned around. After three or four pairs had gone missing I put a pair on a string to go through his sleeves, only as a joke of course.


Why “only as a joke”?
As a young mother, keeping track of three pairs of mittens in a climate that REQUIRES mittens was a trial. So all mittens - my own included - were fastened. 
For the kids, I purchased the clips.
For my own, I knit a very long i-cord. I didn’t think I might accidentally strangle myself, but feared they might each other or a classmate might. 
No lost mittens. Compliments from other mothers.


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## Jessica-Jean (Mar 14, 2011)

peanutpatty said:


> Not inherited, I don't think but I learned by watching my parents. Funny, now I watch my kids and their kids saving things, mending, making do where they can.
> 
> My whole family head for the thrift store first when they need something, and the family mantra seems to be, Don't buy on time if you can pay cash".


Since I now get cash back for using my credit card, I use it whenever possible, but pay in full each month.


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## peanutpatty (Oct 14, 2012)

Jessica-Jean said:


> Since I now get cash back for using my credit card, I use it whenever possible, but pay in full each month.


I do that as well but I don't really count that as buying on time since I have never paid interest. I'm just using their money for a time. LOL


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## Jessica-Jean (Mar 14, 2011)

peanutpatty said:


> I do that as well but I don't really count that as buying on time since I have never paid interest. I'm just using their money for a time. LOL


Back in the bad old days, I paid plenty of interest, especially during months-long strikes.


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## mathrox (Jun 17, 2019)

Elation said:


> DD was done with smocked things I made before kindergarten. For both kids (22 years apart) I made a gathered neck and cuffs flared smock for them to put on over their clothes for things like fingerpainting, etc. When in elementary school, they had a kid's apron. I pre-decorated them with press-ons and splashes of paint so it was obvious what they were for to everyone and they knew to put them on regardless. I made a larger one for DD when she was in higher grades as they were doing newspaper printing or something like that (and added a thin middle layer to protect clothing, just in case).
> 
> Most stains come out but I don't understand why a teacher wouldn't tape paper on a roll around your daughter or something, vs. taking her out of the activity unless it was a passive-aggressive message to the mother. One just has to take things with a grain of salt, I guess...but that seems to come with age.
> 
> ...


Actually, the pre-school always put long-sleeved smocks on the kids when they were painting. And a priority for teachers is keeping your kids safe.
but some kids (older, middle/high school kids often refuse to listen …. They pull off their hats and gloves, unzip their jackets or refuse to wear them … it’s tough to get them to conform. And some of them are the type who have to learn the hard way … no matter what we do.


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## mathrox (Jun 17, 2019)

Byrney said:


> They drummed it into us when we were children.
> 
> It’s only in the past few years that I’ve started using my “best” crockery for every day use. It’s lovely drinking my coffee out of a posh Denby cup, and eating cereal out of the matching breakfast bowl.
> 
> Because I’m worth it!


it takes years but eventually you realize that those ‘special’ occasions may never come at this advanced time in our lives. So, live for the day because you can’t pass on most of those ‘treasures’ …the kids don’t want them. Mainly because they have their own (China, glassware, silver, ….).


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## Jessica-Jean (Mar 14, 2011)

mathrox said:


> it takes years but eventually you realize that those ‘special’ occasions may never come at this advanced time in our lives. So, live for the day because you can’t pass on most of those ‘treasures’ …the kids don’t want them. Mainly because they have their own (China, glassware, silver, ….).


It’s just that I would rather knit or futz around on KP, than clear out cupboards, wash the dust from the ‘good stuff’, and reload it into the cupboards.
Can’t win! 🫤


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## MaryCarter (Oct 17, 2011)

I once gifted a newborn baby surprise jacket to an ex employee who had left to have a baby. I asked her a bit later on if it fitted her new son, and she said yes it did, but it is now a coat for a rescue puppy. I was a bit put out, but like you said a dog lover so not to stew over it.


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## JanetofAus (May 29, 2011)

When we lived on the road in a motorhome, I made sure to have a small stash of dishcloths to gift as thank-you presents - especially if we stayed on friends' properties. One woman told me I had wasted my time making such things as most people used cheap sponges from supermarket shelves but she accepted them anyway. The next time we were in the area, she was effusive in her praise for them and asked for more. I smiled and obliged. I have seen my cloths in kitchens, bathrooms, laundries, workshops and caravans, even used as doilies. One lady framed them and displayed them on her wall. I think of it as leaving a tiny bit of me with friends.


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## Jessica-Jean (Mar 14, 2011)

JanetofAus said:


> When we lived on the road in a motorhome, I made sure to have a small stash of dishcloths to gift as thank-you presents - especially if we stayed on friends' properties. One woman told me I had wasted my time making such things as most people used cheap sponges from supermarket shelves but she accepted them anyway. The next time we were in the area, she was effusive in her praise for them and asked for more. I smiled and obliged. I have seen my cloths in kitchens, bathrooms, laundries, workshops and caravans, even used as doilies. One lady framed them and displayed them on her wall. I think of it as leaving a tiny bit of me with friends.


The first dishcloth I ever made was from a kit (Annie’s Attic? Herrschner’s? Mary Maxim? one of them). It was heart-shaped in two or three tones of red/pink. I gave it to my stepmother. She liked it too much to use in the kitchen; it was used as a doily instead. 
Since then, I only knit very plain dishcloths, for kitchen or bathroom use. No one yet has complained about them.


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## goodcrocheter1 (Apr 4, 2017)

Caroline19 said:


> A dear friend of mine decided he would make full size blankets for his 8 grandchildren. He was concerned that they would not appreciate or even use them. So i suggested he get his grandkids involved in this mammoth project. So he sent each kid an envelope with 3 pattern options, 3 samples of yarn and 3 colours, a self addressed stamped envelope and a letter explaining that IF they wished a Grandpa Blanket then they had to be involved. If he did not receive an envelope back with their choices then he would not make them a blanket. All 8 grandkids returned their envelopes so my friend began this huge project!! It took 3+ years to complete all 8 blankets. When he prepared packing up the blankets for shipping i suggested that he include an information sheet that would include # of balls of wool, total yardage of wool used, total # of stitches, # of hours it took to knit it and the labour costs - minumum wage of $13 an hour times # of hours to knit it - and washing instructions. The kids were overwhelmed with the facts sheet and all 8 blankets are loved and used regularly. I am now enbarking on a similar project for my own family of 10 and the first 2 have been given with fact sheet included. I also design my own blankets so included the signed and dated hand drawn design sheets as well. So far, big success. My grandson and niece both told me they had no idea what went into knitting their blankets and made them appreciate their gifts that much more!! People who do not craft have no idea the work that goes into our gifts. I'm now on blanket #3. I pray i live long enough to finish this big project!!


I do a system where I do exactly what you say,I make a note of the yarn I have used,hook size used,pattern stitch used,also how much I have used of yarn for the whole project. The beauty of taking the time to do this is IF you have an oddment of this yarn you buy in the future,you will know how far the yarn goes and how well it performs when it is washed…. This has saved me many a frustration!


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## mtalmage (Apr 5, 2011)

MMWRay said:


> I gift mostly to charity and only practical things like hats. The one friend I send sweaters for her girls sends me photos so I see the items are cherished. I have been 'burned' before by neighbors that wanted items for their little girls and I found the items in a local thrift store a few weeks later. My time is precious so I don't waste it. The general public does not appreciate the time or money that goes into any hand made gift, whether knit, crocheted or sewn.


I noticed this and thought I might comment. I take my DH for cancer treatment weekly at Sloan Kettering. In the waiting area for infusions I very often see baskets of hand knitted or crocheted hats. They sit there untouched forever, untouched. It could be for many reasons including people feeling uncomfortable for taking one in a public setting or perhaps they are too scratchy. They are often made in inexpensive yarns. There are piles of handmade blankets by the nurse’s desk also untouched. They are unused because they offer warm heated blankets to all the patients. My point is I hope folks call charities before investing your money, time, and love to be sure it will be used even at the charity. Obviously the nurses appreciate the donations because the arrange the in nice baskets. Also, consider trying to use soft quality yerb


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## Bernadettebunty (Nov 3, 2012)

I don't know about cash-back on my credit card but do get it on my debit - however, I pay for everything on my credit card and then clear the amount with my debit card as soon as the bill comes in each month. I reckon that the little bit of interest my money earns while sitting in the bank each month is worth more than paying bills with my debit card. Hubby calls me a 'tight-wad'  but it is the way my mother taught me. I always have a little in reserve for emergencies and a rainy day!


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## Bernadettebunty (Nov 3, 2012)

JanetofAus said:


> When we lived on the road in a motorhome, I made sure to have a small stash of dishcloths to gift as thank-you presents - especially if we stayed on friends' properties. One woman told me I had wasted my time making such things as most people used cheap sponges from supermarket shelves but she accepted them anyway. The next time we were in the area, she was effusive in her praise for them and asked for more. I smiled and obliged. I have seen my cloths in kitchens, bathrooms, laundries, workshops and caravans, even used as doilies. One lady framed them and displayed them on her wall. I think of it as leaving a tiny bit of me with friends.


Whenever my DIL returned from visiting her family in Turkey she used to bring me gifts from her Grandmother, beautifully crafted items. I have a few crochet wash-cloths - they are just too lovely to wash myself with and hide away in the bathroom so are in pride of place as doilies.


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## mtalmage (Apr 5, 2011)

MMWRay said:


> I gift mostly to charity and only practical things like hats. The one friend I send sweaters for her girls sends me photos so I see the items are cherished. I have been 'burned' before by neighbors that wanted items for their little girls and I found the items in a local thrift store a few weeks later. My time is precious so I don't waste it. The general public does not appreciate the time or money that goes into any hand made gift, whether knit, crocheted or sewn.





MMWRay said:


> I gift mostly to charity and only practical things like hats. The one friend I send sweaters for her girls sends me photos so I see the items are cherished. I have been 'burned' before by neighbors that wanted items for their little girls and I found the items in a local thrift store a few weeks later. My time is precious so I don't waste it. The general public does not appreciate the time or money that goes into any hand made gift, whether knit, crocheted or sewn.





MMWRay said:


> I gift mostly to charity and only practical things like hats. The one friend I send sweaters for her girls sends me photos so I see the items are cherished. I have been 'burned' before by neighbors that wanted items for their little girls and I found the items in a local thrift store a few weeks later. My time is precious so I don't waste it. The general public does not appreciate the time or money that goes into any hand made gift, whether knit, crocheted or sewn.


I saw this and thought I might comment. I take my DH to Sloan Kettering for treatments biweekly and in the area where we wait for infusions I often see lovely baskets full of hand knitted and crocheted hats for patients to select . They sit untouched for weeks. I also see piles of handmade blankets by the nurses’ desk also untouched and unused. Many of the things are made with inexpensive yarns and are scratchy in texture. I offer the suggestion to knitters to check with the charity and find out if you gifts are appreciated and used. I also suggest one or two hats of a softer and perhaps somewhat more expensive yard are more likely to be selected and used than a basketful of scratchy ones mad of inexpensive yarns. (Texture is more important than price so if you know a very sof moderately priced yarn go for it.) Cancer patients skin is more sinsitive and chemo hats need to be very soft. Also the facility very likely offers warm heated blankets to the patients which is why the knitted ones are not used. In the era of Covid reusing a blanket that is not washed in hot water may not be allowed in a cancer facility. And we know what happens to yarn in hot water. (Acrylic won’t felt but in my experience is often scratchier.) It breaks my heart seeing those handmade items just sit there so I thought I would offer my experience.


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## gardencitygranny (6 mo ago)

Jessica-Jean said:


> My mother had much the same attitude. How can it be inherited? I knew none of the strictures of the Great Depression or WWII.


Thank you; helps me understand the younger generation better.


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## ilmacheryl (Feb 3, 2013)

mathrox said:


> My mother lived through the Great Depression … and consequently, had a ‘depression mentality’. She saved things like string, rubber bands, even used gift wrap! (it was torture watching her ever so carefully open a gift), and she always ‘saved’ her most lovely things for a ‘special’ occasion. And nothing was ever really ‘special’ enough.
> We bought her a set of lightweight luggage for the only trip she ever took … to California … and when she returned, we discovered that she had returned the luggage we bought because it was too good for her and bought cheaper, heavier luggage for the trip.
> The set of lovely bathroom towels that I bought for her to replace her threadbare ones, couldn’t be returned because I had removed the tags and washed them before giving them.
> When she died and I cleaned out her home, I found them in the linen closet, in the gift box. Never used. They went to college with my eldest.
> ...


When we were moving from Kansas to Minnesota last year and were in the process of downsizing and weeding out “stuff”, I found two tea towels that had hand embroidered detail and hand crocheted lace on the edge that had been made as a birthday present for my mother back in the 1950s or 1960s. They were still folded with the card from her neighbor. I packed them and now use them as they were intended. I think of my mother and her neighbor every time I use them.


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## LEE1313 (Jan 25, 2011)

tygger428 said:


> —————————-
> I’m so sorry they did that. That would definitely put them on my “do not make anything for” list.


TY That is exactly where they are listed !!!!


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## Kimbo58 (Jul 11, 2015)

charliesaunt said:


> I think a member of every family is of the same thinking...."I'll save this for a special occasion." I just went through 2 large bureaus and "found" some of the things, I've been saving for a special occasion. There were some things I've taken out and put in my closet to wear or use for their purpose. There are 2 things I will "keep for special occasions"...not because of what their use is, but because the person who gifted them to me has passed away and these bring back wonderful memories of them for me. So each time I see them, it is a special occasion...perhaps not the one it was made for, but a new purpose....they are now an expression of love and a hug.


Maybe take a picture of them & keep beside your bed so you can then use them like they were intended, plus have the good memories looking at the photos. Just a thought. 🙂


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## janenedrow53 (Jul 3, 2013)

wendyinwonderland said:


> It's sad but true. Wool is a very special fiber and it takes a certain kind of person to value it. I like mostly to knit with natural fibers--especially wool. But wool items need to be washed by hand. And who does that these days?!? Wool is also likely to get moth holes. I have a beautiful sweater here by me now that had a moth hole in it before I even finished knitting it. (Well, it was a WIP--Work in Progress--for a looong time.)
> 
> I think that people like to wear what everyone else is wearing. They like to look like other people and there are fashion trends and styles each season. Asking people to stand out in a garment that is one of a kind means calling attention to the person wearing that item that might not be comfortable for them.
> 
> ...


Ubfortunatly, some people don't like the scratchy feel of wool; myself included or, they are allergic to it so have to resort to another type of fiber to use in making garments


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## Danielito (Jan 9, 2015)

I never ask anyone what they want, because I knit for my own pleasure. I choose yarn and patterns that I want to do. I have a few nieces and friends that live in cold climate ( I am in SoCal) that I send beanies, scarfs, gloves and socks to. I always include a note saying to please donate anything they don't like to a needy person etc. I honestly don't care what happens to the items. I had my fun making them.


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## lainey_h (Dec 14, 2013)

tygger428 said:


> —————————-
> I’m so sorry they did that. That would definitely put them on my “do not make anything for” list.


That makes me angry! I'm so sorry that happened, now you know they're not knitworthy.


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## Serenity (Feb 20, 2011)

On my diningroom table is a large circular intricately crocheted piece that my my mother's aunt made her; it is at least 70 years old. It is beautiful. I treasure things that have been knitted or crocheted by others, because I know how much time and effort went into them, So even when I can't use them, they hold a cherished place in my heart.


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## mea (Jan 21, 2011)

Elation said:


> I would knit socks while watching my daughter in various dance classes, and the other mothers ran off to shop. Once one of them said in a snide way, "Can't you just BUY socks?" I responded that these feel superb in winter and that I have evidence of time spent along with the joy of watching my DD. She was silent.
> 
> Others asked me to knit some for them and when I stated (at the time) that the yarn cost was about $25, they were shocked. I said I darn commercial socks (SmartWool) and an older woman said she just tosses her worn-out socks. I responded that SmartWool socks start at $20 and are nice so worth darning. Again, silence.
> 
> ...


I think I may have just reacted with an 🙄. Meant to say 😍…GOOD FOR YOU!


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## Jessica-Jean (Mar 14, 2011)

Serenity said:


> On my diningroom table is a large circular intricately crocheted piece that my my mother's aunt made her; it is at least 70 years old. It is beautiful. I treasure things that have been knitted or crocheted by others, because I know how much time and effort went into them, So even when I can't use them, they hold a cherished place in my heart.


From what gems I see in secondhand stores, you are an exception to the norm.


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## wendyinwonderland (Dec 28, 2013)

janenedrow53 said:


> Ubfortunatly, some people don't like the scratchy feel of wool; myself included or, they are allergic to it so have to resort to another type of fiber to use in making garments


I really really like the feel of wool. But I don't always wear it next to my skin. A sweater is usualy worn over a cotton knit turtleneck or lightweight silk long-sleeve turtleneck or similar. Even when I wear my wool/alpaca hand knit socks--I put them over a thin pair of cotton socks!!! I do though often wear wool hats on my head. Very warm in the winter (even in the house sometimes!!!). And I find wool gloves very cozy and comfortable. And I wear wool scarves around my neck!

There are so many attractive wool blends: like lamb;s wool and angora!! It's addictive!


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## barbarawh (Mar 13, 2017)

For as long as I can remember, my mother was knitting or crocheting. Honestly, some of her color choices & patterns were “different” but we knew everything was made with love and was appreciated. I learned to knit just before my mother passed away and I’ve tried to make baby blankets for any grandchildren born after she passed. All were appreciated. I also made blankets for three of my daughter’s close friends (7 total) because I knew they would like them and received really nice thank you notes from them. Once given, I try not to worry about how it’s used or not used.

My daughter in law wasn’t raised around knitting but has come to understand the effort involved. Before our granddaughter was born, I made a blanket that she looked at with a “that’s nice” look. She “relooked” when a number of the guests complimented me on it and told her how special it was. 

Before my mother passed, she made 2 blankets, one for each of my children for when they had children. Both of them made sure their first baby came home from the hospital covered by Great Grandma’s blanket.

My grandchildren see me knitting and crocheting and have asked for a some things. I’ve made several sports themed blankets, a Mickey Mouse blanket, American Girl wedding dresses, and a Virginia Cavalier patch for a Halloween costume (very proud of it because I didn’t have a pattern).

I have 4 sisters and I made each of them a “Dee” shawl and occasionally make dishcloths for special holidays. But most of my knitting now is for charities or to have in case I see a need. I make very few things for myself but I did crochet a large, round tablecloth with materials from my mother so it’s very special to me and right now, it’s packed away for safe keeping.


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## janenedrow53 (Jul 3, 2013)

wendyinwonderland said:


> I really really like the feel of wool. But I don't always wear it next to my skin. A sweater is usualy worn over a cotton knit turtleneck or lightweight silk long-sleeve turtleneck or similar. Even when I wear my wool/alpaca hand knit socks--I put them over a thin pair of cotton socks!!! I do though often wear wool hats on my head. Very warm in the winter (even in the house sometimes!!!). And I find wool gloves very cozy and comfortable. And I wear wool scarves around my neck!
> 
> There are so many attractive wool blends: like lamb;s wool and angora!! It's addictive!


Sure for a cardigan. But generally make alot of pullover type sweaters that are worn next to my skin.


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## det5000 (Aug 29, 2019)

JanetofAus said:


> When we lived on the road in a motorhome, I made sure to have a small stash of dishcloths to gift as thank-you presents - especially if we stayed on friends' properties. One woman told me I had wasted my time making such things as most people used cheap sponges from supermarket shelves but she accepted them anyway. The next time we were in the area, she was effusive in her praise for them and asked for more. I smiled and obliged. I have seen my cloths in kitchens, bathrooms, laundries, workshops and caravans, even used as doilies. One lady framed them and displayed them on her wall. I think of it as leaving a tiny bit of me with friends.


Years ago I had a preferred store-bought cloth for washing dishes and wiping the counters. Then an older friend started giving me a few knitted dishcloths for Christmas every year. I didn't want them to go to waste so I started using them and got so I liked them and valued getting new ones. When the friend passed away I wondered what I was going to do when they all wore out. I found and bought a couple at a craft sale to support the library but otherwise I didn't have a ready supply. As a 10-year-old I was taught some knitting basics and made a pair of slippers that I hated, and I didn't like knitting either, so even today, I have stayed away from hand knitting. However, I do like sweaters, so when I came across a bulky knitting machine that was being given away, I grabbed it. I went through the process of getting it back in working order and then learning to use it. Then I finally managed to knit some dishcloths myself and now I have even made a few to give away!


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## Serenity (Feb 20, 2011)

mathrox said:


> My mother lived through the Great Depression … and consequently, had a ‘depression mentality’. She saved things like string, rubber bands, even used gift wrap! (it was torture watching her ever so carefully open a gift), and she always ‘saved’ her most lovely things for a ‘special’ occasion. And nothing was ever really ‘special’ enough.
> We bought her a set of lightweight luggage for the only trip she ever took … to California … and when she returned, we discovered that she had returned the luggage we bought because it was too good for her and bought cheaper, heavier luggage for the trip.
> The set of lovely bathroom towels that I bought for her to replace her threadbare ones, couldn’t be returned because I had removed the tags and washed them before giving them.
> When she died and I cleaned out her home, I found them in the linen closet, in the gift box. Never used. They went to college with my eldest.
> ...


Many people who went through the depression shared your mother's mindset. My mom never let her pantry get bare...she always kept it stocked up, just in case. But she did enjoy nice gifts and things she bought for herself, although those were always bought on sale.


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## Ask4j (May 21, 2011)

charliesaunt said:


> I read a comment on KP yesterday from a Gram who had knit a beautiful dress for her granddaughter and gave it to her as a gift. She went on to say, she did see it worn once, on the day it was gifted. She then learned soon after that it was put in a bag and given to someone with other items by her daughter.
> 
> DID YOU EVER WONDER??? We go through patterns and yarns sometimes for hours to choose a pattern and a suitable yarn to make a "special" item as a gift. Yes, I know, and I understand, when we give a gift...we "give" it and that's where our involvement ends. Hours of knitting (in most cases are beneficial to our psyche) made with love and given as a part of ourselves. How many have ever seen their items being used???
> 
> I am fortunate in that I know most of the items I make are worn and loved. They are requested by my family.and eagerly awaited. The other items go to charities who accept and then request.


We no longer live in a polite society--everything is for one's self. By abusing something we've put great effort into, somehow this gives pleasure. Skills are no longer appreciated and it's not just the younger generations, it's all of us--where did things go wrong?


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## wendyinwonderland (Dec 28, 2013)

janenedrow53 said:


> Sure for a cardigan. But generally make alot of pullover type sweaters that are worn next to my skin.


I usually wear a pullover over a cotton turtleneck! I even wear my hand knit wool/alpaca house socks over a thin pair of cotton socks! But gloves, hats, and scarves in wool are fine next to my skin. Some people actually like the feel of wool!


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## charliesaunt (Apr 22, 2011)

I’ve read each of the comments and the one thread I see in each is our love for either knitting or crocheting, perhaps not always as loved in the same way by others. Our world has changed , people definitely have changed but our ‘art’ brings joy to us. So, perhaps we should not knit for family or friends but seek out those charities that ask for certain items and fulfill THEIR need and continue our craft.


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## ngriff (Jan 25, 2014)

When my GD was 2 I knit her a pink poncho, which she wore constantly. When she outgrew it, I made a larger one, and I know she wore it too. For my GS, I made a nice sweater vest (struggling because I was on chemo, so lots of frogging along the way). I never saw a pic of him wearing it. He may have, but I never got the feedback. Other items for family have been worn, but I mostly knit for charity now. I knit a cabled vest for my gentleman friend in cashmere as that was his preference for a Christmas gift. It was too large, so I frogged it and completely reknit it. He wore it only once. It is safe in a drawer forever. I also made him a nice scarf, which he used a few times, but has others so doesn't use it much.


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## HandyFamily (Sep 30, 2011)

Haha, I once made an entrelac sweater for my hubby - it is probably the longest knitted thing by me (time-wise), because it was wripped at least 4 times... for various reasons. Mostly because I was making the pattern and size and all "on the go" and didn't like it, or pats of it. And hubby at the time was many times ++ size... He never wore it. Ever. Truth to be told, he never wanted it entrelac...


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## sharmend (Feb 14, 2012)

Based on all the other comments on this topic, it happens to us all. In my case, it was for my one and only GS. Ex DIL evidently didn't like the sweaters and such that I knit him. She did, however, keep the blanket I knit. My SIL made him an awesome quilt, but I never saw it used, and it eventually disappeared. I never ever knit anything else for her.


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## gardencitygranny (6 mo ago)

wendyinwonderland said:


> I really really like the feel of wool. But I don't always wear it next to my skin. A sweater is usualy worn over a cotton knit turtleneck or lightweight silk long-sleeve turtleneck or similar. Even when I wear my wool/alpaca hand knit socks--I put them over a thin pair of cotton socks!!! I do though often wear wool hats on my head. Very warm in the winter (even in the house sometimes!!!). And I find wool gloves very cozy and comfortable. And I wear wool scarves around my neck!
> 
> There are so many attractive wool blends: like lamb;s wool and angora!! It's addictive!


I wouldn’t be able to wear a wool scarf because I’m very sensitive to wool. One year I got tired of looking at skeins of 100% wool Bernat Lana that I had purchased for a ‘song’ years earlier. Decided to knit myself an afghan. I was amazed at how wonderfully warm it was even though it seemed to be thin (so: light but warm afghan). Of course, it was my dog’s favorite also. I found I didn’t mind the hand washing for the comfort it gave me in the winter. Last winter I made another 100% wool afghan (yarn stash also) and I love this one too, but not quite as much as the first one but not quite sure why. I paid a great deal more for the yarn used on the 2nd blanket than the first….go figure!


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## Meowkie (Mar 4, 2015)

knit&purl said:


> I have very little opportunity to do charity knitting where I am. I've tried and tried to find somewhere that will accept and I can't find anything.
> 
> I once knit some boot cuffs for my husbands niece and put them under their tree when we went to visit. Her mother had cut my children out of their gift buying list but I thought I would try to be the bigger person and gift her daughter a small token. Funny thing was it was the only gift under the tree as they had a dog and he liked to mess with the gifts. The dog was in a kennel at the time so I know they found the gift. I never received acknowledgement from anyone so that was the end of that.


I think we have all had unexpected reactions to our gifts. I have certainly had a few. However most recently I made a small double knit lapghan of two hugging bears for my little 6yr old GD. She loved it so much she requested I make 3 more and join them all together so it would become a blanket for her. Now that is a compliment I couldn’t resist. Filled my heart with joy. Can’t wait to get started.


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## Nanxy (Feb 25, 2011)

Several years ago I made a shawl for a friend, when I gave it to her, she commented that it didn’t cover her arms all the way to the wrist, I never thought again about It, until about 6 month later she brought the shawl back asking me to fix it because she gave it to her kitties to lay on it and they had made a whole in it. I took the shawl, fixed it and never gave it back to her, but i told her that she didn’t appreciated it I was giving to one of my daughter who I know loves anything I make and wears everything until the items are completely work out. We are still very good friends but I have never made anything else for her.


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## Meowkie (Mar 4, 2015)

JanetofAus said:


> When we lived on the road in a motorhome, I made sure to have a small stash of dishcloths to gift as thank-you presents - especially if we stayed on friends' properties. One woman told me I had wasted my time making such things as most people used cheap sponges from supermarket shelves but she accepted them anyway. The next time we were in the area, she was effusive in her praise for them and asked for more. I smiled and obliged. I have seen my cloths in kitchens, bathrooms, laundries, workshops and caravans, even used as doilies. One lady framed them and displayed them on her wall. I think of it as leaving a tiny bit of me with friends.


Would like to see those. Maybe I can learn something. Pattern?


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## knit&purl (Feb 4, 2019)

Meowkie said:


> I think we have all had unexpected reactions to our gifts. I have certainly had a few. However most recently I made a small double knit lapghan of two hugging bears for my little 6yr old GD. She loved it so much she requested I make 3 more and join them all together so it would become a blanket for her. Now that is a compliment I couldn’t resist. Filled my heart with joy. Can’t wait to get started.


*That's the best kind of acknowledgement and **appreciation!*


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## pazzanop (Feb 16, 2017)

I do not agree with most of these posts. To me, making something unsolicited and then being all bent out of shape and hurt because the recipient doesn't gush over it is very selfish and self-serving. Why do you get to impose your taste on them? I agree that the person should thank you but would you prefer that they give it back to you or give it to someone else?


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## ruqia (May 4, 2013)

Feel sorry as your time and love didn’t get the response that was your due share but you should feel strong and knit for charity and give away your items to them. Do knitting more to engage yourself.


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## det5000 (Aug 29, 2019)

Meowkie said:


> Would like to see those. Maybe I can learn something. Pattern?


There are tons of patterns online easily accessed with an internet search. This pattern is like the ones that were given to me: Easy Everyday Dishcloth.

Here are some others: 10 Knit Dishcloth Patterns for Beginners

And for machine knitters: Machine knit dishcloths


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## janenedrow53 (Jul 3, 2013)

My sons and dil's at least put the things I made for their kids in storage for that day in the future when they themelves will become grandparents. About the only thing that I know of was a vest I nade for my oldest grandson when he was in middke school. DIL told me she didn't know what he did with it. But, since he was in his early teens at the time, he probably outgrew it and as I tokd her at the time, he may have out grown it and decided to donate it either to Goodwill or Salvation Army, or he may have even gifted to a friend that was in less fortunate circumstances and needed something warm to wear So I didn't get the feeling he didn't appreciate the gift I had made him. DIL felt at time he may not have appreciated what I made him, I simply reminded her he may have out grown it, not to worry about it.


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## Ask4j (May 21, 2011)

tygger428 said:


> —————————-
> I’m so sorry they did that. That would definitely put them on my “do not make anything for” list.



I'd say the daughter in law instigated the whole thing with a negative attitude directed at you.....so sorry but we don't have much say in who our sons marry. I can't imagine teens not wanting these mitts in their school colors!


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## MoCoop (Feb 17, 2014)

pazzanop said:


> I do not agree with most of these posts. To me, making something unsolicited and then being all bent out of shape and hurt because the recipient doesn't gush over it is very selfish and self-serving. Why do you get to impose your taste on them? I agree that the person should thank you but would you prefer that they give it back to you or give it to someone else?


It used to be that a gift was something shared by the giver and the receiver. To pick out or make a gift, thinking of who it was intended for, that was the joy of the giver. To cherish the time and effort that someone spent in picking out or making a special gift just for them, that was the joy of the recipient. Sometimes what you got wasn't to your taste, but you were gracious and grateful and found a way to use it in your life - even if it was just putting flowers in that ugly vase when the one who gave it to you visited - it made you feel good to make them feel good. 
Now it is all about the receiver and there is no more graciousness.
People regard receiving gifts as something like going shopping. They have to get what they want and only what they want.
There is no joy in giving gifts, there is no fun. It is just filling someone's shopping list, performing a duty, filling a social obligation. No joy for anyone.


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## rosemarya (May 25, 2013)

I was in a store in Virginia and noticed a baby in a beautiful sweater. I asked the mother if she had knit the sweater. She wondered how I had recognized that the sweater was a hand knit. She got big tears in her eyes and told me her mother who lives in England had knit the sweater and she was so happy that I asked about it. Some people still appreciate hand made items and use them.


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## Jessica-Jean (Mar 14, 2011)

Serenity said:


> Many people who went through the depression shared your mother's mindset. My mom never let her pantry get bare...she always kept it stocked up, just in case. But she did enjoy nice gifts and things she bought for herself, although those were always bought on sale.


My mother - born 1927 - took buying on sale to an extreme. When Gertz (a Jamaica, Queens department store) was closing for good in 1982, she stocked up on the kind of things one gave as wedding gifts … in the 1950s. Silver plated chafing dishes, etc.
I think each of us (4 daughters) took one to offer as a gift to some ill fated couple. I still have one. There’s no one I know and dislike enough to give it to!!


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## Celt Knitter (Jul 13, 2011)

Jessica-Jean said:


> It’s just that I would rather knit or futz around on KP, than clear out cupboards, wash the dust from the ‘good stuff’, and reload it into the cupboards.
> Can’t win! 🫤


A friend of mine was just bemoaning a lifetime of collecting Royal Doulton figurines and Waterford crystal and has just found out that her married son and daughter have no interest in them and made no bones about telling her they will probably go to a charity store. I've told her although she has had a lifetime of pleasure from them, she has also spent a lifetime dusting stuff she has never used, so sell it and have a darn good vacation when she retires this year. The trouble about dusting etc....you just have to do it again next day and it does nothing to help another person or even yourself. I like to be clean, but I've learned not to care so much about anything else domestic. I also have a bagful of crocheted doilies somewhere in a cupboard. Some of them are pre-WW 1 and I appreciate the work that went into them but I neither like nor have any use for them. My children know I don't want anything else to dust and I gave away the ordinary dishes and am now using the "best".....the majority of which the spouse has managed to chip. My house is a mess of yarn...but it's mine and I'm happy to work through it, and it will be useful to somebody else, but not my family!


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## Celt Knitter (Jul 13, 2011)

rosemarya said:


> I was in a store in Virginia and noticed a baby in a beautiful sweater. I asked the mother if she had knit the sweater. She wondered how I had recognized that the sweater was a hand knit. She got big tears in her eyes and told me her mother who lives in England had knit the sweater and she was so happy that I asked about it. Some people still appreciate hand made items and use them.


Craft work is such a divided enterprise. Big names will pay mega bucks for something they assume is hand made but at our level people resent paying the cost of hand crafted items. I was never a great fan of frilly matinee coats and I do like the softness of modern fabrics next to a baby's skin and some of the outerwear is more practical but a well-knit sweater or cardigan always looks classy. 

How nice of you to comment on the sweater....that's probably a homesick mother thousands of miles away from her own mother!


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## Elation (Dec 28, 2012)

Ask4j said:


> We no longer live in a polite society--everything is for one's self. By abusing something we've put great effort into, somehow this gives pleasure. Skills are no longer appreciated and it's not just the younger generations, it's all of us--where did things go wrong?


Hear, hear! There was a Russian spy who aligned with the US and said the propaganda to break down morals and this was deliberately done it here. This is a very shortened version, but people are sheep in that they do what either media says, seeing what others do and think it is okay, ad infinitum. That includes denigrating others when one feels insecure , etc. Those who are awakened must stand firm in morals and virtues, and consider uplifting and inspiring others. "Thou dost protest too much!" comes to mind...why does it bother you so, and the Golden Rule...

People don't realize everything they think, do, and say, comes back to them. Boomerang, Law of Attraction, Cause & Effect, Karma. Some choose a rougher road as negative returns, and those who choose Love have a smoother path (as long as they do not take on things that have nothing to do with them [neg responses]).

Elation


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## Elation (Dec 28, 2012)

MoCoop said:


> It used to be that a gift was something shared by the giver and the receiver. To pick out or make a gift, thinking of who it was intended for, that was the joy of the giver....Sometimes what you got wasn't to your taste, but you were gracious and grateful and found a way to use it in your life...


This brings up another aspect, and that is that many give gifts via their own personal taste or what they would want themselves, and not considering the style, colors, use, etc., of the recipient. You are more likely to hit the mark with empathic considerations.

I did wardrobing, amongst other things, and knew others who did. Many consultants would dress people in the 'look' they loved, which looked like the other person had borrowed yet another's (or the consultant's) wardrobe. Considering anothers personal style, colors, mix, and match, they shine, love things, and wear them out.

When I have done needlework for others, I consider their favorite color/s, needs, what would look good on them, etc. Things are then more likely to be used or at least appreciated. I am getting back a ton of the many things I made for my mother over the years as she passed this year, a shocking amount.. I can see that a style or two wasn't worn as though the colors worked, it wasn't quite her taste. Most all were used though some were left in tissue (mostly things for display as she had pets). I have received many gifts over the years that are totally the giver's taste and definitively not mine.

I know that one friend loves dusty blues and pinks, another loves burgundy and hunter green, etc., and so align with their preferences. I also tend to dress up more and have to consider that some may not, for instance. I was going to make wool slippers for an aunt but in casual conversation discovered that she is sensitive to wool, so I thought out a slipper footie she can wear over her cotton anklets in the winter. She doesn't like her feet too hot, so I will make them. in fingering and add 'no slip' to the bottoms. Fortunately, in this case, a conversation led to more insight. 

Considering others in all aspects of who they are and what they need and like, can really help increase success. I just have generally given up on gifts that take a lot of time. You hit more marks sometimes with just 'green paper' in a card and save yourself the perspiration and grief, or at least I have finally gotten to that stage. My kids are picky (wonder where they got that from? LOL), so I am shifting to supporting them going and getting what they truly want.

Best, Elation


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## Elation (Dec 28, 2012)

janenedrow53 said:


> Last time I knit something for my husband, after a disagreement, he threw it in myface...his comment is "I wish you'd make something like that for me". He seems to forget how he hurt me with his actions.



Ask/tell your hubby to commission it with someone else. Once he pays thru the nose, he will likely appreciate what you do. 

Best, Elation


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## charliesaunt (Apr 22, 2011)

Jessica-Jean said:


> My mother - born 1927 - took buying on sale to an extreme. When Gertz (a Jamaica, Queens department store) was closing for good in 1982, she stocked up on the kind of things one gave as wedding gifts … in the 1950s. Silver plated chafing dishes, etc.
> I think each of us (4 daughters) took one to offer as a gift to some ill fated couple. I still have one. There’s no one I know and dislike enough to give it to!!


I remember Gertz well. Went to John Adams HS in Ozone Park and Gertz was the nearest store for shopping.


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## Jessica-Jean (Mar 14, 2011)

charliesaunt said:


> I remember Gertz well. Went to John Adams HS in Ozone Park and Gertz was the nearest store for shopping.


On one trip down to visit my mother, we became separated in Gertz. I hadn’t ever been a lost child! When I couldn’t find her, I asked someone to page her. I was twenty-something, and somewhat embarrassed.


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## DeeAnna (Mar 31, 2011)

Celt Knitter said:


> A friend of mine was just bemoaning a lifetime of collecting Royal Doulton figurines and Waterford crystal and has just found out that her married son and daughter have no interest in them and made no bones about telling her they will probably go to a charity store. I've told her although she has had a lifetime of pleasure from them, she has also spent a lifetime dusting stuff she has never used, so sell it and have a darn good vacation when she retires this year. The trouble about dusting etc....you just have to do it again next day and it does nothing to help another person or even yourself. I like to be clean, but I've learned not to care so much about anything else domestic. I also have a bagful of crocheted doilies somewhere in a cupboard. Some of them are pre-WW 1 and I appreciate the work that went into them but I neither like nor have any use for them. My children know I don't want anything else to dust and I gave away the ordinary dishes and am now using the "best".....the majority of which the spouse has managed to chip. My house is a mess of yarn...but it's mine and I'm happy to work through it, and it will be useful to somebody else, but not my family!


IMHO, the prettiest use of that bagful of crocheted doilies would be to stitch them together to make a curtain. Suitable for bedroom, sewing room, kitchen, small accent windows, or even a valance. Or send them to me, and I will gladly use them to finish up a curtain or two!


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## Elation (Dec 28, 2012)

DeeAnna said:


> IMHO, the prettiest use of that bagful of crocheted doilies would be to stitch them together to make a curtain...


With all due respect, the sun will take a toll on crocheted doilies must faster than most any other use. Perhaps if lined and in a north or eastern window, it might fare better.

I have seen some sewn onto decorator pillow shams to coordinate with others with vintage mother of pearl buttons. There are many and various ways to apply them to things. Perhaps even inserts in summer gowns, though they will likely need a pressing on the back side. I won't go on and on about various applications...

HTH, Elation


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## gail-11 (Jan 3, 2013)

MoCoop said:


> It used to be that a gift was something shared by the giver and the receiver. To pick out or make a gift, thinking of who it was intended for, that was the joy of the giver. To cherish the time and effort that someone spent in picking out or making a special gift just for them, that was the joy of the recipient. Sometimes what you got wasn't to your taste, but you were gracious and grateful and found a way to use it in your life - even if it was just putting flowers in that ugly vase when the one who gave it to you visited - it made you feel good to make them feel good.
> Now it is all about the receiver and there is no more graciousness.
> People regard receiving gifts as something like going shopping. They have to get what they want and only what they want.
> There is no joy in giving gifts, there is no fun. It is just filling someone's shopping list, performing a duty, filling a social obligation. No joy for anyone.


I agree. It is why mine get gift cards. Yes, it is impersonal, but I cannot afford to waste my time or money on things they don't want. This way, they can get food, something from Amazon or whatever they want. A couple of years ago, my grandson's partner put a post on FB about the ponytail hats and "Oh, these are a great idea", or something similar. So, as she has long hair and often had it in a ponytail, I crocheted her a pony tail hat for Christmas. She never even thanked me and I am sure, probably never wore it. There are other times, this has happened, so, unless I know a family member would like and appreciate something I made, they get gift cards.


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## Jessica-Jean (Mar 14, 2011)

gail-11 said:


> I agree. It is why mine get gift cards. Yes, it is impersonal, but I cannot afford to waste my time or money on things they don't want. This way, they can get food, something from Amazon or whatever they want. A couple of years ago, my grandson's partner put a post on FB about the ponytail hats and "Oh, these are a great idea", or something similar. So, as she has long hair and often had it in a ponytail, I crocheted her a pony tail hat for Christmas. She never even thanked me and I am sure, probably never wore it. There are other times, this has happened, so, unless I know a family member would like and appreciate something I made, they get gift cards.


I just don’t bother giving at the dictates of commerce.


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## Byrney (Nov 9, 2015)

DeeAnna said:


> IMHO, the prettiest use of that bagful of crocheted doilies would be to stitch them together to make a curtain. Suitable for bedroom, sewing room, kitchen, small accent windows, or even a valance. Or send them to me, and I will gladly use them to finish up a curtain or two!


The main problem with that is that it would advertise that an old person lived there. Anyone under the age of 80ish wouldn’t entertain having lacy/doily curtains as doilies haven’t been in fashion for decades. Burglars often target houses that look like an old person lives there. I can’t think of anyone I know of my age, or even older, who would have a doily in the house. They’re lovely to make, but would never be used.


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## Caroline19 (Jun 6, 2011)

I only knit items that are requested. Years ago i decided to knit scarves for the 8 members of my bridge group in their favourite colours. The following winter all but one wore their scarves regularly and thanked me for my efforts. The one member exclaimed that she had no clue where her scarf was..did i actually make one for her?? To which i reminded her that she had chosen a specific red for her scarf and of course i had made her a scarf. I've often seen my scarves worn by the others but not hers. From that day on i only knit by request or for charity. The requests keep coming because i knit every day. The most recent request has been from my immediate family who all wish legacy blankets...working on blanket #3 now, 7 more to go!! They have all chosen their colours and all the yarn has been purchased from Mary Maxim. I design my own blankets so as i am knitting one blanket, i'm making notes for the design of the next blanket. Other than colour their only request is lots of cables. That i can do!!


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## Laurpud (Aug 6, 2018)

mea said:


> I’m sure she was hinting for me offer to make a wedding album for her.  I did offer to help her make it, using all my paper, tools and embellishments. In fact, I love when I’m able to do that with friends since I have a great craft room and a crazy amount of supplies. (My kids call it “Mom’s Michaels”.)
> 
> So I gave her my usual (truthful) answer that I just don’t have time. I’ve already got a lifetime’s worth of projects I’d like to try for myself or my family. I truly believe she was being complimentary and was proposing what she thought was a win-win offer…she’d have her wedding photos preserved nicely and I’d have a reason to do a hobby I love.
> 
> We were friendly coworkers and when she had a baby I knit a baby blanket and a toy airplane. Her partner is a commercial pilot so I thought it would be a perfect unexpected gift. She was appreciative but not too impressed, I could tell. (I wish I had a picture...the plane was adorable!) So I felt a bit disappointed but certainly not hurt. I think she’s just one of those people who feel “hand made” means “less than”, and I doubt her mind can be changed. (Just like me with American football, I guess. I don’t like it. I have no interest. …and yes, I do understand the game. Don’t try to convince me otherwise.)


I'm so sorry that happened to you. To all of us, really. These stories make me sad/mad for all the amazing crafters who gave the gift of time, only to be crapped on 

My local LYS has a super bowl party, where we shop, snack, knit & win little prizes. It's a perfect antidote to football!


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## rosemarya (May 25, 2013)

JJ that reminds me of the time when my daughter took off in a store. She went to the front desk and they announced over the loud speaker.... Missing mom 40 years old with brown hair and brown eyes and her name is Rosemary. They gave her ice cream and I had a big dish of humble pie! 😳


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## Byrney (Nov 9, 2015)

I purposely sent my children to the customer services desk so that they could ask for me to be found. I wanted them to know what to do if we ever really got separated.


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## Jessica-Jean (Mar 14, 2011)

Byrney said:


> I purposely sent my children to the customer services desk so that they could ask for me to be found. I wanted them to know what to do if we ever really got separated.


That’s a great idea! I wish I’d thought of it, though - luckily - I never needed it.


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## Byrney (Nov 9, 2015)

Jessica-Jean said:


> That’s a great idea! I wish I’d thought of it, though - luckily - I never needed it.


No, Happily, I never needed it either but at least I knew they would know where to go and what to do if they ever did get lost. I also instructed them not to let anyone else try to help them and to go straight to customer services. When they were a little older I sent them up to the public phone box to make a reversed charges call. They also knew how to make a call to the emergency services from being about 2 years old, and they knew their name and address as soon as they could talk. And of course we did regular fire drills (as a bit of a game). I’m not paranoid at all!


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## Serenity (Feb 20, 2011)

Celt Knitter said:


> A friend of mine was just bemoaning a lifetime of collecting Royal Doulton figurines and Waterford crystal and has just found out that her married son and daughter have no interest in them and made no bones about telling her they will probably go to a charity store. I've told her although she has had a lifetime of pleasure from them, she has also spent a lifetime dusting stuff she has never used, so sell it and have a darn good vacation when she retires this year. The trouble about dusting etc....you just have to do it again next day and it does nothing to help another person or even yourself. I like to be clean, but I've learned not to care so much about anything else domestic. I also have a bagful of crocheted doilies somewhere in a cupboard. Some of them are pre-WW 1 and I appreciate the work that went into them but I neither like nor have any use for them. My children know I don't want anything else to dust and I gave away the ordinary dishes and am now using the "best".....the majority of which the spouse has managed to chip. My house is a mess of yarn...but it's mine and I'm happy to work through it, and it will be useful to somebody else, but not my family!


Since dusting is one of my least favorite chores, collectibles are kept to a minimum. Now art supplies and yarn are another story, but at least I don't need to dust them.


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## Jessica-Jean (Mar 14, 2011)

Byrney said:


> No, Happily, I never needed it either but at least I knew they would know where to go and what to do if they ever did get lost. I also instructed them not to let anyone else try to help them and to go straight to customer services. When they were a little older I sent them up to the public phone box to make a reversed charges call. They also knew how to make a call to the emergency services from being about 2 years old, and they knew their name and address as soon as they could talk. And of course we did regular fire drills (as a bit of a game). I’m not paranoid at all!


I have no idea how old I was, when my grandmother made me memorize our address and phone number. 70+ years later, I still know them. 
I don’t remember at what age I had those drilled into my kids.


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## Elation (Dec 28, 2012)

Byrney said:


> ...(doilies) advertise that an old person lived there...I can’t think of anyone I know of my age, or even older, who would have a doily in the house. They’re lovely to make, but would never be used.


There are more contemporary designs in doilies now, and of course, there is a retro resurgence. I dance between contemporary centerpieces and use tradition during various holidays. I would never hang them in a window though, as they get sun rot. Good point for those who may not realize the effect/risk that may happen though!

Best, Elation


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## Byrney (Nov 9, 2015)

Elation said:


> There are more contemporary designs in doilies now, and of course, there is a retro resurgence. I dance between contemporary centerpieces and use tradition during various holidays. I would never hang them in a window though, as they get sun rot. Good point for those who may not realize the effect/risk that may happen though!
> 
> Best, Elation


I’ve not seen a retro resurgence for doilies here in the UK. My family would start looking for a care home for me if I started making them.


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## flpat (Sep 28, 2019)

Oh I remember Gertz, my grandmother's favorite store. I also remember going there with my mother for the January white sale when I was about four and being terrified that I would lose her in the mob. For those who are younger, whites(household fabrics, linens, bedding) only went on sale in January for a day or so in the 1940s. I remember the women fighting over the sheets and getting put against the wall with an armload of linens and told to sit on them.


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## Jessica-Jean (Mar 14, 2011)

flpat said:


> Oh I remember Gertz, my grandmother's favorite store. I also remember going there with my mother for the January white sale when I was about four and being terrified that I would lose her in the mob. For those who are younger, whites(household fabrics, linens, bedding) only went on sale in January for a day or so in the 1940s. I remember the women fighting over the sheets and getting put against the wall with an armload of linens and told to sit on them.


I remember that the ‘whites’ sales were right after Christmas and before my birthday (January 23), but I don’t remember being set to guard the items to be purchased. Maybe she already had all she needed? Or only shopped while I was left in the care of someone else?
I only remember going shopping with her when it was to find clothes for me - too tall/broad for my age.


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## MoCoop (Feb 17, 2014)

Byrney said:


> The main problem with that is that it would advertise that an old person lived there. Anyone under the age of 80ish wouldn’t entertain having lacy/doily curtains as doilies haven’t been in fashion for decades. Burglars often target houses that look like an old person lives there. I can’t think of anyone I know of my age, or even older, who would have a doily in the house. They’re lovely to make, but would never be used.


lower that age limit, at least just a little. I'm 71, I don't care about what's in fashion, I like what I like and I like lacy curtains and I love doilies. I have doilies in my house for special things. I don't have enough to use as curtains.
Yes, I'm unusual, but I'm not alone.
Being old fashioned isn't so bad.
I like it


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## gardencitygranny (6 mo ago)

Celt Knitter said:


> A friend of mine was just bemoaning a lifetime of collecting Royal Doulton figurines and Waterford crystal and has just found out that her married son and daughter have no interest in them and made no bones about telling her they will probably go to a charity store. I've told her although she has had a lifetime of pleasure from them, she has also spent a lifetime dusting stuff she has never used, so sell it and have a darn good vacation when she retires this year. The trouble about dusting etc....you just have to do it again next day and it does nothing to help another person or even yourself. I like to be clean, but I've learned not to care so much about anything else domestic. I also have a bagful of crocheted doilies somewhere in a cupboard. Some of them are pre-WW 1 and I appreciate the work that went into them but I neither like nor have any use for them. My children know I don't want anything else to dust and I gave away the ordinary dishes and am now using the "best".....the majority of which the spouse has managed to chip. My house is a mess of yarn...but it's mine and I'm happy to work through it, and it will be useful to somebody else, but not my family!


Enjoyed your post. I have quite a collection of knitting statues (?) and my mother would say in disgust "they are just dust collectors." I would just smile and know that I enjoyed my dust collectors. Of course, no one will want them when I'm gone but that's not important I enjoy them now and won't care when I'm dead and gone.


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## Byrney (Nov 9, 2015)

MoCoop said:


> lower that age limit, at least just a little. I'm 71, I don't care about what's in fashion, I like what I like and I like lacy curtains and I love doilies. I have doilies in my house for special things. I don't have enough to use as curtains.
> Yes, I'm unusual, but I'm not alone.
> Being old fashioned isn't so bad.
> I like it


I was talking about the UK. The household fashions appear to be very different here from the US. I haven’t seen a doily since my grandmother died in the 1960s. We don’t have those towel toppers or knitted wash cloths either, although I have had a go at them since joining KP (the wash cloths not the towel toppers). Baby clothes and the colours are very different between our countries too. The US seems to be more ornate and colourful than the UK. Perhaps it has something to do with the weather.


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## Bernadettebunty (Nov 3, 2012)

Byrney said:


> I was talking about the UK. The household fashions appear to be very different here from the US. I haven’t seen a doily since my grandmother died in the 1960s. We don’t have those towel toppers or knitted wash cloths either, although I have had a go at them since joining KP (the wash cloths not the towel toppers). Baby clothes and the colours are very different between our countries too. The US seems to be more ornate and colourful than the UK. Perhaps it has something to do with the weather.


Reading through all of the comments I have to agree with you about the UK - we don't seem to be as into or as appreciative of crafts as other countries. I know a 'youngish' person who put out an appeal for doilies as she needed a few more to finish the bedspread she was making by joining them together. She does a lot of 'upcycling' and renovating - an exception to the rule I find - although thanks to some recent TV programmes more people are buying into this. I have a set of collectable craft magazines from 1960s/70s and remember people were more into 'different' crafts other than knitting and crochet back then - now definitely not so much. I remember back in 1950s when I was taught to knit in Primary School - my aunts knit and crocheted and one taught me embroidery. My Mam knit and sewed - made all of my dresses from dresses passed down through the aunts, Mam was the eldest, she also was the baker and decorator of celebration cakes. Every weekend (we had no TV) we spent evenings sat around the kitchen table making hooky or proggie mats or had a sing-song while Aunty Sheila played the piano. Granda cobbled and repaired our shoes. Everyone was 'good' at something. Not anymore! Everyone is so impatient and it is a throw away society why take the time when they can have it now and cheaper from Primark!


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## Byrney (Nov 9, 2015)

Bernadettebunty said:


> Reading through all of the comments I have to agree with you about the UK - we don't seem to be as into or as appreciative of crafts as other countries. I know a 'youngish' person who put out an appeal for doilies as she needed a few more to finish the bedspread she was making by joining them together. She does a lot of 'upcycling' and renovating - an exception to the rule I find - although thanks to some recent TV programmes more people are buying into this. I have a set of collectable craft magazines from 1960s/70s and remember people were more into 'different' crafts other than knitting and crochet back then - now definitely not so much. I remember back in 1950s when I was taught to knit in Primary School - my aunts knit and crocheted and one taught me embroidery. My Mam knit and sewed - made all of my dresses from dresses passed down through the aunts, Mam was the eldest, she also was the baker and decorator of celebration cakes. Every weekend (we had no TV) we spent evenings sat around the kitchen table making hooky or proggie mats or had a sing-song while Aunty Sheila played the piano. Granda cobbled and repaired our shoes. Everyone was 'good' at something. Not anymore! Everyone is so impatient and it is a throw away society why take the time when they can have it now and cheaper from Primark!


Very true. I remember well those rainy playtimes when we could knit. Did you also have the occasional bicycle chain soaking in oil in a dish on the kitchen table? My brothers were older than me and always seemed to be fixing their bikes.


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## Jessica-Jean (Mar 14, 2011)

Bernadettebunty said:


> …
> Everyone was 'good' at something. Not anymore! Everyone is so impatient and it is a throw away society why take the time when they can have it now and cheaper from Primark!


And thus we have a gazillion acres of barely used ‘stuff’ in landfills (I wonder why the word ‘midden’ isn’t still used?) and polluting the oceans. ☹


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## Jessica-Jean (Mar 14, 2011)

Byrney said:


> Very true. I remember well those rainy playtimes when we could knit. Did you also have the occasional bicycle chain soaking in oil in a dish on the kitchen table? My brothers were older than me and always seemed to be fixing their bikes.


I only learned to care for my bicycles - and those my children had - in adulthood. I soaked the chain in paraffin in the oven, after it had been used. Four people household, but the kids and I always had at least two bikes apiece - just so there’d always be one to use while the other was being fixed. A swift mechanic I was NOT! 🙃


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## JanetofAus (May 29, 2011)

Meowkie said:


> Would like to see those. Maybe I can learn something. Pattern?


Meowkie, I generally use 8-ply DK cotton with 4mm or 4.5mm needles or hook. There are many free cloth patterns online at Ravelry, KnitPicks, etc. or I find something interesting in a stitch dictionary and make it a useful size. Cloths are fun and practical.


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## Irene P (Sep 20, 2013)

kaypriest said:


> I think we sometimes forget that not everyone likes knits. Maybe the answer is to simply ask first, though it would be necessary to have the kind of relationship where each can be honest, and the ability to not be hurt if the askee declines whatever we want to make for them.
> 
> I haven't invested much time in making things for family as I figured out pretty soon some seemed to look down their nose at "homemade." I won't make anything for them unless asked, even then not sure I would say yes. If they prefer machine made stuff from China, oh well...


Teach them that what you knit or crochet, or other craft, is NOT HOMEMADE, but HANDCRAFTED. Changing the word identifying what is done changes the low values.


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## Jessica-Jean (Mar 14, 2011)

Irene P said:


> Teach them that what you knit or crochet, or other craft, is NOT HOMEMADE, but HANDCRAFTED. Changing the word identifying what is done changes the low values.


Yesterday, I timed the making of one wedge of my current batch of dish/washcloths.
Then did the math for making the whole cloth ~ 2 hours.
Were I paid at the rate I was getting just before retirement, each would cost $50. Good thing I’m not trying to sell them!!
Current one: Ravelry: JessicaJean's Round Cloths for the Oncology Department staff

Previous in same style: 








JessicaJean's Exfoliating Washcloths


October 19, 2022 So, I have a full ball with ball band, and the sparkly filment is gold-tone. The first washcloth is from it. There’s a golf ball sized of leftover yarn. Then there’s an unlabell...




www.ravelry.com


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## kaypriest (Jun 25, 2017)

Irene P said:


> Teach them that what you knit or crochet, or other craft, is NOT HOMEMADE, but HANDCRAFTED. Changing the word identifying what is done changes the low values.


If only it were that easy to change how people think about hand made items. There is a perception that it is cheap to make things by those who never purchased supplies to make anything, as well as their inability to account for the time, not only to make an item, but maybe a lifetime of building skills.

Unfortunately there are low quality handmades which don't help to raise the respect for high quality handmades. Many won't bother to see the difference.


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