# Is she "knitworthy" or not?



## AmyKnits (Aug 20, 2011)

I need a little help deciding about this one.... she has me stumped. I think most of you know by now that I knit for my OWN enjoyment and the enjoyment of making people soemthing they will love and enjoy. From the heirloom christening blanket that has been used twice in the year since I made it.... to the "crazy mohawk" hat I made for my little 10-year old fashionista.... I will never sell anything I have made, but go out of my way to knit something as a "thank you" or show of appreciation. My latest was a cabled scarf I sent to the wonderful man on Etsy who made my yarn bowls I have enjoyed so much. The BEST part was the thank you note he sent.... apparently he has severe asthma and starting in the fall always wears a scarf to cover his face if it is windy. He says he has quite a collection and was happy to add mine to it.

Here is my problem. I shop for yarn at Joann's quite often. The woman who waited on me yesterday took the time to ask me about my son who is away at college in Alabama. She remembered from our conversations that he goes to school there and asked specifically how he was adjusting and getting along. (yes, yes, yes I am very chatty and much to my children's dismay... most people within a ten mile radius know every detail of my life!) LOL 

She then asked me (as she always does) "whatcha making now"? I replied "I have several pair of the fingerless gloves to make yet for Christmas presents. Everyone loved the ones I made last year and I have four more pair to make before Christmas". She then said "well, I would LOVE a pair of those". She works at the register right by the front door and she WAS wearing a winter vest while waiting on me. She said she freezes and she could wear those while working on the register. I decided right then and there to make her my next pair. I told her that I think she would love them and I would make her a pair right after Christmas.

Here is the problem..... she replied "AFTER Christmas?!" Why would I have to wait until AFTER Christmas? I am going back and forth between knitting them right now and NEVER knitting them for her. What should I do?

BTW.... like I said.... I LOVE knitting for people who will appreciate it and don't expect it.... our mailman wears the hat I made him when it is really cold out even though he is not supposed to because it is AGAINST uniform. He says it is the ONLY one that keeps him REALLY warm. 

This lady has taken a bit of the wind out of my sails.....


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## Chrissy (May 3, 2011)

Sweet Amy, I would stick to my guns and make her wait, if you really want to make them for her. Your family/friends should come first.


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## jmcret05 (Oct 24, 2011)

For me, the casual conversations about a purchase or a kind comment on something I've made do not obligate me to make something and give it away. Continue to give your efforts of time and talent to those who you really want to give to, and--- "wait for it"!!-----WHEN you want to do something for that person. Knitting is supposed to be fun, because you can't make a living knitting. You said, "I LOVE knitting for people who will appreciate it and don't expect it" Go with what you feel!!


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## 5mmdpns (Jun 1, 2011)

Amy -- family always comes first in my books. The clerk possibly desires to have them before Christmas, but she should very well understand that knitted items take time to knit up. Tell her that if you have the time to knit them before Christmas, she will get them before Christmas, but that you are short on time and wont get to them until after the Christmas season is over. She will understand, and in the meantime, I am sure that there are nice ones she can purchase to help her out. 
And on the other hand, maybe she was just expressing her wishful thinking and thinking how delightful it would be to have a pair asap. I dont think she meant to be inconsiderate of you, as she does remember you and your family and asks about their lives. (I know from having to deal with pains and aches everyday, at times anything to bring relief is welcome and she does work in the "cold" with her hands.)


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## Knit1Pearl1 (Nov 26, 2012)

Yeh, I agree. It was a lovely offer from you and she should wait. Perhaps she will be more appreciative after Christmas, or may be she wasn't having a good day!


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## fergablu2 (Apr 30, 2011)

I would tell her if she's in a rush, she can feel free to knit them herself.


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## TraceyMcK (Nov 10, 2012)

How can someone working at a craft/fabric store not understand about the Christmas rush? I can certainly understand why that would leave you feeling rather deflated. Although it did occur to me to wonder if she understood that they would be a gift or if she was expecting to pay you for them, in which case, that might make her question somewhat understandable.


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## mirl56 (Dec 20, 2011)

I totally get that she has ruined the fun of it for you. Rather nervey of her to want them sooner (you sure she wasn't trying to be sarcastic/funny?). But as long as you can get your family/friends done in time i'd still make an effort to get her a pair before Christmas.


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## MelissaC (May 27, 2012)

That was pretty rude of her. And now that you've said you'd make them you're kinda stuck. But the others are right. She should have to wait. If you finish everything ahead of time and have time and desire to make hers before Christmas that's up to you. I hope she appreciates them!


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## Leonora (Apr 22, 2011)

Right on Chrissy, I totally agree.



Chrissy said:


> Sweet Amy, I would stick to my guns and make her wait, if you really want to make them for her. Your family/friends should come first.


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## taznwinston (Feb 5, 2012)

I am hoping, for this woman's sake, that she was trying to be sarcastically funny. I tend to be like that, saying things with a straight face, and it takes some getting used to by others. I don't mean to be sarcastic, just funny, but it does take people the wrong way sometimes. It is then I must remind myself that these others don't know me so well and they don't realized I'm just joshing them. So perhaps she's being this way and doesn't mean any harm. Let your heart be your guide. When you have time, make them for her, then you can decide when to give them to her.


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## unie (Dec 4, 2011)

Ditto to all of the above!! IF you make them, I'm sure she'll enjoy them anytime you give them to her. I made 2 pair for my daughters that work @ computers all day and their hands get very cold. They love them so they will get another pair this year.


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## bobctwn65 (Jul 27, 2012)

when you tell someone you will make them something you should do it...maybe she was just anxious to get them...just because she works in a yarn shop doesn't mean she knows about the time involved...only my opinion


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## margaretcave (May 30, 2012)

Amyknits - I had a similar problem as I had promised to make a pair of fingerless gloves for a lady who works in a nearby charity shop who sometimes saves me yarn and she said she wanted them in a hurry - I rushed home and started them that night although I had other work on. Finished them the next day and took them to her. She was grateful - or sounded like it - BUT I have seen her lots of times since but I have never seen her wear them!!!

You do what your instincts tell you - but obviously not at the expense of your own family or close friends. The lady might not have meant it as it sounded - she was probably thinking of how nice it would be to have warm hands now!


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## Deb-Babbles (Mar 4, 2011)

I agree that she is asking the wrong way. You could offer to teach her. Ask her when she will have time to work with you on learning. I think she will say she is far to busy to take time for this right now. The Holidays are hard on all of us. It is not a simple thing to make hand knitted, crochet and even machine knit items. 
You are such a wonderful person to make such lovely personal gifts. Winter is just getting started, she will need these far longer than just the Christmas shopping time. I would make them when you have time, your family and other gifts were planned already. Once they have been finished you may want to take a trip back to see her and get her to pick the color she wants. I would also take along a picture of all the gifts you made for this Holiday. Perhaps she thinks you have a small family to make for. 
Be at Peace, go with what is in your Heart. It is never the wrong choice.


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## SueLD (Jun 22, 2012)

I wouldn't fret about this Amy. You graciously offered and this lady certainly understands your situation fully with knitting for family for Christmas...she knows you well enough to know you are a gracious lady with ethic's and morals. It may be she has learned that manipulation get's her what she needs/wants in life. That is sad. You only hold to your word. I would put the fingerless gloves for her out of sight for now. You have a loving family you want to please with hand made gifts for Christmas, concentrate on those family members whom I'm sure will appreciate the gifts you are knitting for them. Place this situation with the store clerk out of mind for now...and I would hold to your word despite her disturbing attitude to give her the gloves after Christmas. She has probably seen your work and realizes your talent so she would like to show off to say 'a friend had knit these for me'. She can then wear them through the rest of the winter months and for Christmas next year as she works near the cold coming in from outside...if she still has this job next Christmas. It is her character to be 'brazen' ... I'm sure you are not the first to be offended by her. Do not take this personally. I feel you only are obligated to give her kindness and maybe a little empathy as I have stated...it is sad that she uses manipulation to find happiness in her life.


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## no1girl (Sep 4, 2012)

Lighten up! she is at the back of the queue........just like the bus stop or the mpvie theatre.

thats all you say to this very rude woman.


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## Omeghan (Oct 21, 2012)

see? thats what bugs me about "Christmas" these days. Folks expect a gift. 

Whatever happened to just giving something in February or April or July ?

In my opinion, I wouldnt knit that "lady" @ the cash a thing. And if she inquires about family etc be gracious and reply but forget about those gloves.


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## Nanny Mon (May 24, 2011)

Amy

Seen you have verbally committed yourself to knitting the gloves and I wouldn't go back on that. Your word is your bond.

This is what I would do:

Each day I would knit for 10 minutes on those gloves, that is all. Surprising how much knitting you can do in 10 minutes.

This way your family is still coming first and you are at least getting a bit of those gloves done.


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## kiwiannie (Jul 30, 2011)

If it was me she said that to she would be waiting until the moon turns into cream cheese.


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## RhondaP (Jun 26, 2011)

Agree with Chrissy.


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## peanutpatty (Oct 14, 2012)

If she works in a yarn shop she should be able to take classes to learn to knit them herself. Lots of beginners' patterns out there.


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## Liz at Furze (Jun 24, 2012)

Lol it reminds me of when I had to analyse poetry for my degree- I often thought 'I wonder if she/he really meant that'. Sometimes we just open our mouths and something comes out...she could be thinking ' oh I hope she didn't think I...! Love all the things you knit and thanks for the links you put on-


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## CollettePlaquet (Feb 22, 2012)

Follow your heart but be mindful that this one might want more than you have to give.


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## peachy51 (Feb 9, 2012)

Hmmmm ... I would not have committed to them ... when she said "I would love a pair of those," I would have said "they seem to be all the rage these days" and moved on to something else. Then I would have made her a pair as a surprise and given them to her whenever I finished them regardless of before or after Christmas.

But ... that ship has sailed ... and you have committed to making them. And you already told her you have several projects to finish before Christmas. In these days of shoddy customer service, it seems this lady has given you excellent customer service. I would not let this one sentence that she uttered ruin that.

So, I would make the things I had planned to complete before Christmas and then make her the gloves. If you finished them before Christmas fine, if not, fine then too.

I don't know what pattern you are using, but I just made two pair of these gloves for my granddaughters and the pattern I used a pair can be made in a day. They are plain with no cables tho.


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## nitnurse (May 20, 2012)

Chrissy said:


> Sweet Amy, I would stick to my guns and make her wait, if you really want to make them for her. Your family/friends should come first.


I am with you. You can still make them for her, but tell her you have a queue in front of her and unfortunately she will have to wait her turn!


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## deebeefromnc (Sep 24, 2012)

Awww...Just assume that she was joking about 'after Christmas' and make 'em and give them to her asap...make her day...after all, she made yours by asking about your son! I find any excuse I can to knit for others!! Let us know how it goes...


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## sandyP (Jun 20, 2012)

You have promised to make them, so I think you should still make them for her, however, don't be in a rush to make them. Do them when you can and after you have finished other things and when you want to.


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## Alto53 (Jan 26, 2012)

taznwinston said:


> I am hoping, for this woman's sake, that she was trying to be sarcastically funny. I tend to be like that, saying things with a straight face, and it takes some getting used to by others. I don't mean to be sarcastic, just funny, but it does take people the wrong way sometimes. It is then I must remind myself that these others don't know me so well and they don't realized I'm just joshing them. So perhaps she's being this way and doesn't mean any harm. Let your heart be your guide. When you have time, make them for her, then you can decide when to give them to her.


This is exactly what I was thinking. She might have been trying to be funny and it backfired. I say wait until after Christmas if for no other reason than to be able to enjoy what you're making for her.

I have a coworker who is having her first baby in February and she's been making suggestions to all the knitters in the office as to what she would like us to make instead of letting us come up with some really awesome group venture. That has really set me off and I'm having a hard time getting my brain back into the spirit of giving.

Now that I've gotten some time and distance from my irritation, my heart is softening and I'm starting to brainstorm again.

Plus it's always nice to get a gift AFTER Christmas!


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## gramtonine (Nov 7, 2011)

Sounds like the gal had her mouth in action before engaging her brain.....how unfortunate!


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## margaret15 (Oct 7, 2012)

Oh i must be mad, i have been asked to make Barbie clothes for friends grandaughters dolls and friends of friends dauhters doll, and i have made them before making my own granddaughters dolls, i know i have only got till the 15th December to finish my GD dolls clothes as thats when they visit next. will learn by this post 2 say yes but it will be after i have finished what i have 2 do x


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## cbjlinda (May 25, 2011)

Next time don't offer if you want to make them then do so and suprise her with them. some people expect too much". that would have turned me off right then and I would not make them.


AmyKnits said:


> I need a little help deciding about this one.... she has me stumped. I think most of you know by now that I knit for my OWN enjoyment and the enjoyment of making people soemthing they will love and enjoy. From the heirloom christening blanket that has been used twice in the year since I made it.... to the "crazy mohawk" hat I made for my little 10-year old fashionista.... I will never sell anything I have made, but go out of my way to knit something as a "thank you" or show of appreciation. My latest was a cabled scarf I sent to the wonderful man on Etsy who made my yarn bowls I have enjoyed so much. The BEST part was the thank you note he sent.... apparently he has severe asthma and starting in the fall always wears a scarf to cover his face if it is windy. He says he has quite a collection and was happy to add mine to it.
> 
> Here is my problem. I shop for yarn at Joann's quite often. The woman who waited on me yesterday took the time to ask me about my son who is away at college in Alabama. She remembered from our conversations that he goes to school there and asked specifically how he was adjusting and getting along. (yes, yes, yes I am very chatty and much to my children's dismay... most people within a ten mile radius know every detail of my life!) LOL
> 
> ...


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## minniemo (Apr 23, 2011)

Don't go there Amy, that is downright rude. Does she think that you do not have other more pressing things to do at this time of the year & people near at heart that you need to make things for first and foremost.


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## soniakweaver (Apr 24, 2012)

I don't know what to say about the clerk, but the story about your mailman wearing the hat you made him is fantastic!


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## GypsyC1225 (Apr 13, 2011)

It is either after Christmas, AFTER I do for my family, or not at all.....


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## ellenpran (Oct 20, 2012)

She could have a dry sense of humor. Wanting your finger-less gloves asap in away is a complement. I have a dry sense of humor and I am sure I have offended some people and I would never want to do that, it is just me. You never know how you sound to some people.


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## 29426 (Jul 26, 2011)

Deb-Babbles said:


> I agree that she is asking the wrong way. You could offer to teach her. Ask her when she will have time to work with you on learning. I think she will say she is far to busy to take time for this right now. The Holidays are hard on all of us. It is not a simple thing to make hand knitted, crochet and even machine knit items.
> You are such a wonderful person to make such lovely personal gifts. Winter is just getting started, she will need these far longer than just the Christmas shopping time. I would make them when you have time, your family and other gifts were planned already. Once they have been finished you may want to take a trip back to see her and get her to pick the color she wants. I would also take along a picture of all the gifts you made for this Holiday. Perhaps she thinks you have a small family to make for.
> Be at Peace, go with what is in your Heart. It is never the wrong choice.


I agree.


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## jfgbrown (May 21, 2011)

Amy, she was rude and does not deserve your time and effort. You enjoy kitting for those who appreciate, well, demanding and asking why...not appreciative, greedy. So, if you decide to make them at all, it would be when you want, not her. I too love to knit for those who appreciate my work, I know immediately when someone receives a gift I made wether they will get another or not.


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## calmlake (May 16, 2011)

Hi Amy,

This 'deal' with the fingerless gloves is nasty from the start. Your love of knitting and creating was messed with by the cashier, especially where you shop for yarn.

How about this? Take a pair of gloves you already made for someone else and show them to her today.... BUT ask her if she will wear them before you even think of giving them. Yes or no the debt(?) is paid in full. Done.

Now get on with the beautiful life you're living, oh and make another pair with love for family or a friend. Win-win all the way. Have fun.


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## momcat531 (Oct 27, 2011)

Where I live, Ohio, it's usually colder after Christmas. January can be very cold.


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## PAJulian (Aug 27, 2012)

You sound too soft for words but don't change. I agree with another writer when she said you should make her wait her turn. You did say it would not be until the new year so as you have committed yourself make her wait. If she again comments then be quite kind and let her know you have previous promises and if she does not want to wait then let her know you cannot put her befor your other family and friends who you have already promised. I wish you were my friend!!! I would sincerely appreciate an offer like that. Stay kind and giving. As the bible says "there is more happiness in giving than in receiving". Happy knitting, Pauline xx


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## Teardrop (Oct 23, 2011)

Did you possibly take her off guard when you said "after Christmas"? Sometimes I put my foot in my mouth when I am caught off guard. She is quite possibly just dissapointed because she wants to wear them as much as she can during this cold weather. After Christmas could, to her mean not until Feb. thinking that you won't get to it right away and then the time to make them, etc... I would make them when you had the time. Don't read too much into her statement.

Good luck! and happy knitting. I have always wanted to make a pair of gloves just to say I made them (sort of like my sock knitting that I finally got around to making).


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## mumofkate (Oct 11, 2012)

i think she is really cheeky to ask you to make them for her "now" when you have so many other things to be making for your family and friends.
And anyway it might be colder after Christmas if your climate is anything like ours, and she will appreciate them better then.
If she whinges about it just forget it and knit for yourself.


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## Dohuga (Nov 26, 2011)

It's hard comment because I don't know the person but it sounds like my neighbor's remark about knitting socks being too much work for her so would I make her a few pairs for what it costs me. I have to consider she has permanent foot-in-mouth disease and I therefore should not take it to heart. She does like everything I do, which is in her favor even though I don't particularly like her. The other side of the coin is a very dear friend of mine who has NO appreciation of hand made things and can't understand why I would knit when I can buy something from Walmart or Sears. So, if this woman appreciates your work and you find pleasure in the doing of it, then knit for her and ignore her mouth. In your own time, of course!


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## Tashi (Aug 12, 2011)

Amy continue to make for those you WANT to. If you are in doubt then go on with your other projects. My thinking is that she does not REAlLY appreciate the care, time and careful attention that go into making items. If you rush your work to meet 'her deadline", you will compromise the fun of making and your generous motivation to give. If she asks tell her your garments take their own sweet time to be created and you cannot ( or wont) work to imposed deadlines. This response may give her another point of view she can think about. Well that's my opinion.


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## margaret15 (Oct 7, 2012)

sorry for butting in here, i agree with a lot of the comments, but at the end of the day this lady is very fond of you and your family, she might even consider herself as part of your family as she knows so much about yours, (its been known )it sounds as though she loves your knitting and is disapointed she has2 wait 2 wear your lovely knitting, and dont forget its good advertising for the said shop if thats where your buying your wool from, give the girl a break i dont think she meant any harm at all, we all say things we regret later,why not knit them and give her them as a christmas present for all her hard work and the joy she gives you when you tell her about your family, the fact she asks shows she takes notice and you might be only one of a few who actually talk to her, its sometimes lonely working in a shop and if your cold it is worse, okay im getting off my high horse now, hope its resolved as im sure this lady would hate 2 think she has caused so many problems x


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## knittingdragon (Jun 15, 2012)

I would tell her that she is "on the list" and you will get to her when it is her turn. Priorities are important and she should be grateful that you have offered to knit for her at all. Seems a bit of a selfish streak to me even if that wasn't how she intended it. I also agree that working in a yarn shop she should not only know about Christmas rushes, but also that it takes time to knit stuff.


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## dancewithmarg (Oct 2, 2012)

Wow, this lady didn't know what a hornet's nest she was stirring up when she made her comment. You felt good when she asked about your family, you will feel so good when you surprise her with the mittens before Christmas. You felt good twice, she will feel good once. You win. Merry Christmas!

Marg


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## Valjean (Jul 21, 2011)

I would make her the gloves as I am sure she would love a pair,but I would do them when I had finished other things.hope it all works out for the best.


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## taborhills (Sep 8, 2012)

Maybe she was fishing to get something -- but then, maybe she was just disappointed to have to wait to be warm -- and after all, these days people are used to instant gratification! -- SO
whether you knit for her or not? Which choice will enhance the world?


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## Mary Cardiff (Mar 18, 2012)

If she is not a knitter she may not know long it takes to knit them,I have a box full of Wrist warmers, mitts,Hats,and scarfs,my problen is I know 3 ladies ,who work in shops with the door open, and really feel the cold,As the ones for the family are part of there Christmas Present,Oh they dont go to the same shops as I do,and as we are having a cold spell will give them to the ladies on saturday,My GD love the Head warmer I made them and went home wearing them,


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## Mary Cardiff (Mar 18, 2012)

If she is not a knitter she may not know long it takes to knit them,I have a box full of Wrist warmers, mitts,Hats,and scarfs,my problen is I know 3 ladies ,who work in shops with the door open, and really feel the cold,As the ones for the family are part of there Christmas Present,Oh they dont go to the same shops as I do,and as we are having a cold spell will give them to the ladies on saturday,My GD love the Head warmer I made them and went home wearing them,


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## Hotpot (Oct 2, 2012)

What a charitable lady you are God bless you. I think you should make them in your own time and ignore the attitude. Maybe she was having a bad day, don't we all.

Never mind we at KP love you.


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## Gerslay (Oct 4, 2011)

I'd make them for her right away as a wonderful surprise BEFORE Christmas. She surprises you by remembering who you are and knows pertinent information about your son. This is a relationship...a small one but meaningful nonetheless.

You know she's freezing standing at the register by the cold doors and that she could really use them and you know how much she would love them.

When you said that you would make them for her, her heart was filled with joy and then the words 'AFTER Christmas' sunk in and took the wind out of her sails. She wasn't rude, she was just suddenly deflated!

I'd start them tonight and get them to her ASAP! Then both your hearts will be filled with JOY!


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## louisezervas (Jun 28, 2011)

Maybe she was just kidding! Not really thinking you would really knit them for her. I say "Family First" and then anything else.


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## margaret15 (Oct 7, 2012)

GERSLAY: IM SO PLEASED YOU HAVE SAID THIS AS THIS IS WHAT IS ALSO AM THINKING RE PREVIOUS POST, MY FRIENDS HAVE ADMIRED MY BARBIE DOLLS DRESSES AND ASKED ME 2 MAKE SOME I WAS SO CHUFFED THAT MY WORK WAS LIKED, THAT OTHERS WANTED IT AS WELL, I HAVE MADE 2 FOR MY GD'S AND 4 FOR OTHER PEOPLE, WE SHOULD TAKE PLEASURE IN WHAT WE PRODUCE AND GIVE THANKS 2 THOSE WHO SAY KIND WORDS FOR THE WORK AND EFFORT WE PUT INTO THESE THINGS, I HAVENT AND WONT ACCEPT PAYMENT FOR THESE SMALL ITEMS I MADE, BUT ASK THEM 2 PUT A DOANATION INTO A CHARITY BOX.


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## ritasroy (Oct 26, 2012)

I love to give, but hate to be taken advantage of.
That spoils everything.
Follow your heart.


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## Gerslay (Oct 4, 2011)

margaret15 said:


> I HAVEN'T AND WONT ACCEPT PAYMENT FOR THESE SMALL ITEMS I MADE, BUT ASK THEM 2 PUT A DONATION INTO A CHARITY BOX.


Margaret...that's a wonderful idea which I'm going to borrow!


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## ellenpran (Oct 20, 2012)

Wow! some of these responses are harsh. It's Christmas! Let's all be merry and giving. We give from the heart and if it's unexpectedly given then it twice as heartwarming.


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## Englishknitter (Oct 13, 2012)

Amy - this is a situation where you are out of your depth in knowing what to do because you do not know this lady. It takes a long time to get to know someone and gauge their reactions. Was she joking - you cannot know. When you present her with her gloves (and I know you will) will she shrink with embarrassment because she never imagined you would knit them? Will she treasure them or not. Who knows! If I was you I would do the knitting you have to do and she is at the back of the queue and when they are done she then gets them. You must, however, give us her reaction to them. 

Actually I do not think you know people ever - I knitted some fingerless gloves with those covers you pull over the fingers in merino wool for my neighbour's birthday and she said they were too big but would probably shrink in the wash and she did not like the silver button I had used to keep the cover back. I have never seen her wearing them. That is not the reaction I had expected. Sometimes in life you have to shrug your shoulders at it all or you would be too upset.


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## Knitalonggrace (Nov 21, 2012)

I am going to sound ruthless, but why is she working there if she doesn't know how to knit herself? However, you seem like such a nice person that I know it will play heavily on your conscience, so I would make them in my sweet time. She has no choice and really,either do you. Your time is booked until after Christmas.


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## darbysister (Sep 3, 2011)

It's a different world out there these days.
Sad to say.
How old is this lady who you are making gloves for?
If she is young I'd tell her you will try to get to gloves but will be a while.
If she is old I'd make her wait..she should know by now not to be rude.
And most of all go with your feelings. It is a gift.. do it when it makes YOU happy. Maggie


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## elenapicado (Mar 18, 2012)

Amy, do it when YOU want to do it and IF you want to do it. That was rude and controlling of her. Bull crap to that!!!! It's YOUR time, YOUR yarn, YOUR art!!! And she pretends to control and manipulate that?!?! Heck no!!!
Sorry, went on a little rant there...better now


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## Janiceknit (Jan 23, 2012)

But...her hands are cold now. Realize we live in a world of getting things now, or preferably yesterday. Was she young?


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## taborhills (Sep 8, 2012)

Whatever you do or say, will it enhance the world?


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## tamarque (Jan 21, 2011)

This situation is like chapter and verse repeated over and over on KP. It is always the same problem: people not having a clue as to what it takes to make something; people so self-absorbed they lose perspective; people who are impatient; people who are just plain out of their mind--in any combo of the above.

This sales person may have had a bizarre sense of humor or strange way to express her impatience. But, bottom line, you have your schedule for working and it is pretty off the wall for basically a stranger to demand that you put her to the top of the list. If you still want to make these for her, tell her that you will get to them as soon as you can. If that isn't good enough, she may be able to find someone who can produce more quickly


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## peachy51 (Feb 9, 2012)

Knitalonggrace said:


> I am going to sound ruthless, but why is she working there if she doesn't know how to knit herself?


Joann's is basically a fabric/sewing store. Mine has very little yarn and the ladies that work in mine are quite friendly and courteous (I go there to buy buttons), but I don't think any of them knit either. Because when I take my sweaters in there to choose buttons, they ooh and aah over them and act like they don't knit or crochet.

EDIT: OOPS!!! Just realized I'm talking about another store


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## darbysister (Sep 3, 2011)

I just want to answer question of why is she working there if she doesn't knit?
I have been knitting on different levels since 4th grade. 
I have worked at various JoAnn's from Cleveland Ohio to Southern Florida in all departments and management. I do not work for them presently. 
Yarn is a big area for JoAnns presently but has not been in the past. JoAnn's are smart. What is hot is what they focus on and there are lots of craft and sewing things going on.
This woman's problem is not that she doesn't knit but that she has no manners and she should not be on registar. Is she knitworthy.. maybe but up to you.. Time to knit is ALL up to you. A gift given should come from the heart. Ask you own how you feel. By the way I had a dear friend many years ago knit me a pair of fingerless gloves and I love them and think of her everytime I wear them.. I don't believe this lady will feel quite the same.
Whatever you choose remember.. if you don't enjoy the doing ... don't do. Maggie


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## litha (Nov 8, 2012)

taznwinston said:


> I am hoping, for this woman's sake, that she was trying to be sarcastically funny. I tend to be like that, saying things with a straight face, and it takes some getting used to by others. I don't mean to be sarcastic, just funny, but it does take people the wrong way sometimes. It is then I must remind myself that these others don't know me so well and they don't realized I'm just joshing them. So perhaps she's being this way and doesn't mean any harm. Let your heart be your guide. When you have time, make them for her, then you can decide when to give them to her.


This seems the case to me also. If her reactions speaks differently when you do gift her you might want to say something about her actions or better yet give her a cost and time sheet on your work on her gloves.


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## cinknitting (Feb 17, 2011)

I think you should go to the dollar store, buy a pair of strechy gloves, cut the tips off, and give them to her! let her know that these are to hold her over until you have the chance to get to hers!


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## tielma (Nov 20, 2011)

Perhaps she should knit herself a pair as she sits at the cash register. Surely her job there is not so busy that she couldn't spare the time to make a pair of fingerless mitts in her spare moments??? Since she works at a yarn store, surely she can knit? Or you could sweetly give her a copy of the pattern and indicate you can't fit them in before Christmas. She might take the hint.


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## radar (Dec 6, 2011)

I think it was one of those sayings that backfired. She knows full well as to why she would have to wait. The unspoken part was likely "seeing you are busier than a one-armed paper hanger."

I have that kind of sense of humour and knowing that I always ensure there is a smile on my face as I say it, so the intent is not left to imagination.
My one daughter is a literal person and would take it as spoken, no imagination or skewed sense of humour, and my other daughter is full of hilarity and knows just what is meant. She is a bit nuts like me.
Your heart will tell you what to do.


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## shelty lover (Mar 29, 2012)

The store clerk has certainly taken the joy out of your generous offer, hasn't she.
I would have responded with "Buy a pair of dollar gloves and cut the finger tips off til I make you a pair." Spoken with a cheeky smile, maybe she'll get the hint!


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## Sumacsew (Sep 17, 2012)

Eh, she may have been having a bad day! As you say, she remembers details about you and your family, and usually she isn't that way. I'd do exactly what you had planned, and chalk it up to her not being the best communicator. She may have been trying to say how she'd look forward to them. You can only be who YOU are, and you are the person who will lovingly knit them, AFTER Christmas.


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## maggie68 (Apr 28, 2012)

Amy,, tell her to go and buy a pair from the local charity shop if she is in that much of a hurry,, failing that tell her to cut the fingers off of a pair of gloves,,,, there you go,, fingerless gloves


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## jan m (Jul 5, 2011)

If she really NEEDS fingerless gloves, she should buy herself a pair. Or make some by cutting off the sleeves or cuffs from an unused sweater or pair of socks. You aren't the solution to her problem. You made a kind and generous offer but she didn't consider it adequate. In my book, she goes to the bottom of the queue.


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## ginnyinnr (May 20, 2012)

I have stopped telling when I plan to do something nice, make it a surprise then it isn't expected and I am not stressed out to make it happen if something else gets in the way.

I agree, my sails would be in a pile on the deck too, so nice she was, then seemed greedy. 

BTW, what do people do with fingerless gloves, is it so they can operate with bare fingers yet keep the rest of the hand warm?
I know that golfers and bikers use leather ones.

I too love to give, of anything, to others, but don't expect it and don't fail to show appreciation. SURPRISE!


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## Ronie (Jan 21, 2011)

I have a feeling that it just came out that way.. I bet she didn't think you were completly serious about knitting them.. next time you go in and she is there ask her if she has bought the yarn for the gloves yet??? or set it up like that comment was never said.. tell her you would be thrilled to make her a pair of gloves.. ask her what color and how much up the arm would be good? and then tell her as soon as you get all your 'Christmas obligations done' you'll be right on them.. I am sure she was embarrased to here her own remark.. she seems like a nice friendly person... besides.. we are still in Fall playing at being winter... when winter gets here full blown in January/February she will be so happy that she has them...


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## skeinstress (Jun 24, 2012)

Personally, I don't think she was being rude. Think about how busy she is going to be thru the Christmas holidays and probably will be working extra hours. The gloves will make her job more bearable. I think it was very kind of you to offer to make her a pair.


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## taznwinston (Feb 5, 2012)

Ronie said:


> I have a feeling that it just came out that way.. I bet she didn't think you were completly serious about knitting them.. next time you go in and she is there ask her if she has bought the yarn for the gloves yet??? or set it up like that comment was never said.. tell her you would be thrilled to make her a pair of gloves.. ask her what color and how much up the arm would be good? and then tell her as soon as you get all your 'Christmas obligations done' you'll be right on them.. I am sure she was embarrased to here her own remark.. she seems like a nice friendly person... besides.. we are still in Fall playing at being winter... when winter gets here full blown in January/February she will be so happy that she has them...


How gracious! Well said. AND I agree! Don't fret so over the comment she made... perhaps it was said in jest. I know you will make them because that makes you who you are. Just realize that she was excited at the thought of your generous offer and was overwhelmed by your kindness. You made the offer, you won't feel right until you have made good on your word. Merry Christmas Amy!


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## taborhills (Sep 8, 2012)

cinknitting said:


> I think you should go to the dollar store, buy a pair of strechy gloves, cut the tips off, and give them to her! let her know that these are to hold her over until you have the chance to get to hers!


If you do this, do it with a Big Smile. It is sad to make a fight, even one inside oneself. We are all connected. We are happier when we are patient with others.


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## mrssnakeboy (Oct 22, 2012)

Since we don't truly know how the clerk meant it. I'd give her the benefit of a doubt and make them when you can and not feel like your obligated to a set time. If it's before Christmas and you get a little time-fine, if not that's ok too. At this time of year we are so pressed with "it's got to be done now, that we lose the joy of doing. In Dec we have an anniversary, 3 birthdays and Christmas and in the past I have gotten pretty burned out but now I do what I can when I can and have decided that if a gift is a little late, well, then it is, and I enjoy it more and do a better job. I have received many a gift late and loved it just as much and it extended the occasion. Sorry this is a little long.


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## momeee (Mar 22, 2011)

You are too kind and generous. Her reply was silly. Perhaps you could direct her to a store or site where she could BUY them if she needs them in such a hurry.


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## Sedona (Oct 3, 2011)

Very well said. There's a saying I recently read - it goes something like this - I'm thankful for the nasty people in my life - they remind me of how I do NOT want to be. Then I thought - I'm also thankful for the kind, nice people in my life because they remind me of how I want to be.
I also agree about the comments that maybe she was trying to be funny and it came out wrong.

Tho I don't personally know you - you're comments are alway kind and helpful and I've often thought you'd be someone I'd like to meet. We need kindness, not revenge in the world - it can start with one small gesture of knitting and giving the gloves as soon as possible - either before or after Christmas - whatever works best for you. Although not always verbalized - most people do see and appreciate acts of kindness. Everyone - try to do one act of random kindness daily - it's appreciated and you'll be surprised how it affects people.


Gerslay said:


> I'd make them for her right away as a wonderful surprise BEFORE Christmas. She surprises you by remembering who you are and knows pertinent information about your son. This is a relationship...a small one but meaningful nonetheless.
> 
> You know she's freezing standing at the register by the cold doors and that she could really use them and you know how much she would love them.
> 
> ...


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## fstknitter (Apr 8, 2012)

Make them on your timetable and don't make a special trip into the store to give them to her


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## Pjetzold (Oct 18, 2012)

I wouldn't have said anything to her, but just make them and surprise her. No expectations.


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## Mystikerin (Jul 19, 2011)

I do not think she is "knit-worthy" at all. If you love to make her gloves, fine. BUT that is your generosity and the enjoyment of making them. I have no idea how she can possibly complain about WHEN you can fit her "order" in. If you make the gloves for Easter, Memorial Day or "whatever" day that is your choice not hers. Otherwise you probably need to give up sleeping all together.

On a different note I was so excited when I saw my son wear his fingerless gloves this week, hooray!!


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## ellenpran (Oct 20, 2012)

Pjetzold said:


> I wouldn't have said anything to her, but just make them and surprise her. No expectations.


Now, that's is the best answer yet!


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

I'm going to look for the best way to view this. Suppose she thought you were going to say, "I'll make you some for Christmas" because "for Christmas" is what you usually hear at this time of year. Perhaps she was just correcting her own misassumption by repeating, "AFTER Christmas," meaning, "Oh - you said AFTER Christmas."

Sometimes people are innocent when they say the wrong thing. I think she would love the gloves. Did you ever worry that you said the wrong thing? She obviously likes you and is interested in you and your family. Maybe she worried all day that she had blurted out something that could be taken the wrong way. Remember a time when you were afraid you hurt someone's feelings and the person didn't take it that way and you were so relieved. Most of us have had that experience.

Since she has such a history of kindly interest in you, I would certainly give her the benefit of the doubt. Either way, you're doing something very nice for her in response to all the nice time she's given in inquiring about your family, caring enough to remember what you've said, etc. 

I'd assume she meant nothing bad at all and at worst just gave the wrong impression. Knit and enjoy your kindness in being understanding and doing that for her so that she can enjoy your kindness later. Just my opinion.


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## taborhills (Sep 8, 2012)

bonbf3 said:


> I'm going to look for the best way to view this. Suppose she thought you were going to say, "I'll make you some for Christmas" because "for Christmas" is what you usually hear at this time of year. Perhaps she was just correcting her own misassumption by repeating, "AFTER Christmas," meaning, "Oh - you said AFTER Christmas."
> 
> Sometimes people are innocent when they say the wrong thing. I think she would love the gloves. Did you ever worry that you said the wrong thing? She obviously likes you and is interested in you and your family. Maybe she worried all day that she had blurted out something that could be taken the wrong way. Remember a time when you were afraid you hurt someone's feelings and the person didn't take it that way and you were so relieved. Most of us have had that experience.
> 
> ...


Yes! In a sense EVERYONE is "knitworthy."


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## purplelady (Aug 23, 2012)

5mmdps,,, expresses it well.
and my thought added is, she will have extra hours till dec 25 and wishes to be more comfy.
tell her where she can buy some,, that you will do the 4 pair you planned and try to get to hers soon?
good on you to do for others..


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

taborhills said:


> bonbf3 said:
> 
> 
> > I'm going to look for the best way to view this. Suppose she thought you were going to say, "I'll make you some for Christmas" because "for Christmas" is what you usually hear at this time of year. Perhaps she was just correcting her own misassumption by repeating, "AFTER Christmas," meaning, "Oh - you said AFTER Christmas."
> ...


 :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## elaineadams (Oct 17, 2011)

I'd stick with it and make her wait. You know, I often make things for people, but I never let on that I am going to make them...the item just "arrives" on their desk sometime between 5pm and 9am....so it really is a surprise for the recipient.

I think you are a kind natured person, but put your family first.



AmyKnits said:


> I need a little help deciding about this one.... she has me stumped. I think most of you know by now that I knit for my OWN enjoyment and the enjoyment of making people soemthing they will love and enjoy. From the heirloom christening blanket that has been used twice in the year since I made it.... to the "crazy mohawk" hat I made for my little 10-year old fashionista.... I will never sell anything I have made, but go out of my way to knit something as a "thank you" or show of appreciation. My latest was a cabled scarf I sent to the wonderful man on Etsy who made my yarn bowls I have enjoyed so much. The BEST part was the thank you note he sent.... apparently he has severe asthma and starting in the fall always wears a scarf to cover his face if it is windy. He says he has quite a collection and was happy to add mine to it.
> 
> Here is my problem. I shop for yarn at Joann's quite often. The woman who waited on me yesterday took the time to ask me about my son who is away at college in Alabama. She remembered from our conversations that he goes to school there and asked specifically how he was adjusting and getting along. (yes, yes, yes I am very chatty and much to my children's dismay... most people within a ten mile radius know every detail of my life!) LOL
> 
> ...


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

taborhills said:


> cinknitting said:
> 
> 
> > I think you should go to the dollar store, buy a pair of strechy gloves, cut the tips off, and give them to her! let her know that these are to hold her over until you have the chance to get to hers!
> ...


Very nice, Taborhills. If you choose not to do something nice because you THINK somebody said the wrong thing, you are the one who will feel hurt. If you knit those gloves for her, think of all the times she asked about you and your family, and bask in that glow of someone being interested in you. Then you'll feel very good about making her something.


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

taznwinston said:


> Ronie said:
> 
> 
> > I have a feeling that it just came out that way.. I bet she didn't think you were completly serious about knitting them.. next time you go in and she is there ask her if she has bought the yarn for the gloves yet??? or set it up like that comment was never said.. tell her you would be thrilled to make her a pair of gloves.. ask her what color and how much up the arm would be good? and then tell her as soon as you get all your 'Christmas obligations done' you'll be right on them.. I am sure she was embarrased to here her own remark.. she seems like a nice friendly person... besides.. we are still in Fall playing at being winter... when winter gets here full blown in January/February she will be so happy that she has them...
> ...


I agree. We need all the kindness we can get in this world.


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## Dowager (Jun 7, 2011)

Perhaps she was just thinking of standing at that cold register through the Christmas rush without them! But yes, it did come off as rather rude.


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

darbysister said:


> It's a different world out there these days.
> Sad to say.
> How old is this lady who you are making gloves for?
> If she is young I'd tell her you will try to get to gloves but will be a while.
> ...


It is a gift - the goal is to make the recipient happy.


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## Beachkc (Aug 24, 2012)

gramtonine said:


> Sounds like the gal had her mouth in action before engaging her brain.....how unfortunate!


 :mrgreen:  It happens.


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

MelissaC said:


> That was pretty rude of her. And now that you've said you'd make them you're kinda stuck. But the others are right. She should have to wait. If you finish everything ahead of time and have time and desire to make hers before Christmas that's up to you. I hope she appreciates them!


From what Amy tells us, this woman sounds like a very appreciative person. She goes out of her way to ask about Amy's projects and family. She sounds very nice. I would hope that one ambiguous sentence would not negate all the nice things a person has said, especially during the Christmas rush. That's an unreasonably high standard. Most of us have said something that could be misconstrued - and we're thankful when it isn't held against us.


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## Karoy (Jul 29, 2011)

You already told her you'd make her a pair after Christmas and you should stick to your guns. If she persists in being ungrateful, it might take you longer than "after Christmas" to make them for her. (Just my thoughts.)


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

bobctwn65 said:


> when you tell someone you will make them something you should do it...maybe she was just anxious to get them...just because she works in a yarn shop doesn't mean she knows about the time involved...only my opinion


I agree. I feel sorry for the poor woman.


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## betsy10904 (Sep 15, 2011)

taznwinston said:


> I am hoping, for this woman's sake, that she was trying to be sarcastically funny. I tend to be like that, saying things with a straight face, and it takes some getting used to by others. I don't mean to be sarcastic, just funny, but it does take people the wrong way sometimes. It is then I must remind myself that these others don't know me so well and they don't realized I'm just joshing them. So perhaps she's being this way and doesn't mean any harm. Let your heart be your guide. When you have time, make them for her, then you can decide when to give them to her.


Well said!


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## julielacykntr (May 5, 2012)

jmcret05 said:


> For me, the casual conversations about a purchase or a kind comment on something I've made do not obligate me to make something and give it away. Continue to give your efforts of time and talent to those who you really want to give to, and--- "wait for it"!!-----WHEN you want to do something for that person. Knitting is supposed to be fun, because you can't make a living knitting. You said, "I LOVE knitting for people who will appreciate it and don't expect it" Go with what you feel!!


I ageee w/jmcreteo5. Many topics of this subject on forum. You are a kind thoughtful knitter that knows the joy of giving. You made the offer:

"I told her that I think she would love them and I would make her a pair right after Christmas."
Seems like she (as others from other forums) has no manners or respect for your schedule, time, or thoughtfulness. Guess I have a hard time understanding why knitters/crocheters have difficulty with a firm, non-upsetting, kindly reply when this happens. Keep the 'joy', and your kind spirit, and knit her a "pair right after Christmas," as you said.


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

Liz at Furze said:


> Lol it reminds me of when I had to analyse poetry for my degree- I often thought 'I wonder if she/he really meant that'. Sometimes we just open our mouths and something comes out...she could be thinking ' oh I hope she didn't think I...! Love all the things you knit and thanks for the links you put on-


I took me three times as long to say what you just said so well. I agree with all you've said.


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## larlie (Apr 19, 2012)

She probably expressed her enthusiasm for those gloves without thinking. Next time you see her couldn't you not refer to those gloves and if she does, simply answer that if she needs them that urgently that she could buy some. You can always offer to knit her some also but say, unfortunately, it is unlikely to be before Christmas as you have many other people, esp. family members, for whom you need to knit for first.


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## ClaireR (Dec 21, 2011)

taznwinston said:


> I am hoping, for this woman's sake, that she was trying to be sarcastically funny. I tend to be like that, saying things with a straight face, and it takes some getting used to by others. I don't mean to be sarcastic, just funny, but it does take people the wrong way sometimes. It is then I must remind myself that these others don't know me so well and they don't realized I'm just joshing them. So perhaps she's being this way and doesn't mean any harm. Let your heart be your guide. When you have time, make them for her, then you can decide when to give them to her.


I have that same "dry" sense of humor also and it can seem serious to some one who doesn't know me. Amy is always sweet and kind and helpful and I cannot imagine that anyone would say something like that to her on purpose.

"Everyone" knows all about me and our children because I'm chatty and friendly too; perhaps that's why they all moved so far away after college!!!


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## Slip Stitch (Oct 29, 2012)

In two years, does it really matter when you knit these gloves?
Will this impact your daily life at that time? You have such a positive attitude and are so incredibly generous, stick with your plan and be yourself. We are all in our own little bubble and bounce around touching the lives of others. Don't let this person puncture your bubble or your spirit. Be happy, go knit. I understand the wonderful feeling that comes from giving. When you give for the right reasons, it is good!


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## sonialyne (Nov 26, 2012)

So many different opinions from so many different people and personalities. I didn't read them all but I personally think that, if you do see that lady regularly and she even takes the time to ask you about your family, you don't want to feel uncomfortable around her just because of situation that isn't clear. Why don't you just clear the subject with her and explain how you felt about her remark and the way you understood it. You might be surprised of the outcome. 
It took me a very long time to confront situations that I was upset with if they involved other people but I found out that, most of the time, once the matter has been adressed calmly with tact, it usually ends up nicely with both parties having learned something they wouldn't have learned otherwise. 
Nobody likes being told what they don't want to hear (or face) but how would we learn if nobody ever tells us? The best lessons in my life were the ones that hurt the most and today, I can thank the people who had enough guts and were honest enough to tell me when I was wrong or annoying.


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## Sockmouth (Sep 26, 2012)

If that had happened to me I think I might tell myself she was just being facetious. You say you are very free about telling people all about your life. So obviously she knows you still have a long way to go to be ready for the holidays. I'm betting she was just trying to be funny and she doesn't even expect you to make her something. You should do whatever you feel comfortable doing and not worry about it.


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## RandyPandy (May 6, 2011)

Perhaps she wanted to give them to someone for Christmas? Giving her the benefit of the doubt, make them only after you completed the gifts for your family. I've found if you keep thinking about it, it is easier to just do it. You'll feel better and can let it go.


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## jonibee (Nov 3, 2011)

Well...she kind of "looked the gift horse in the mouth"..if you do not have plans on visiting the store again before Xmas..give her them for little Christmas in January..otherwise if you do visit the store again and she says something say " A gift is a gift any time of the year"..where you spoke up and said that you would make them for her ...you opened the door for a reply from her..so just make them when you feel like it.


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## scumbugusa (Oct 10, 2011)

I would make them for her as you said after Christmas. Its still going to be cold after Christmas, and who knows, maybe she would be giving them as a gift to someone else for Christmas if she had them before.

I have a friend that regifts almost everything, unless it is engraved with her name!


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## julietremain (Jul 8, 2011)

Many thoughtful responses here.....5mmdpns puts it well.....but I also have to wonder if this is the response of a control freak......(or if I have just run into too many such people)....at the very least it seems a thoughtless remark.....I would follow my own instincts......If cold hands are a real problem for her...or anyone...to help before some can be knit..or bought...suggest she get a small piece of polarfleece and make a tube with a hole for the thumb....I have made many such mitts for shelters when they were needed immediately....
julie


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## joannelee (Dec 21, 2011)

You are such a wonderful person, I would tell this clerk that you
already have several fingerless gloves to make and you would be more than happy to teach her how to knit. Then she would not have to wait (only on herself) to get her gloves. Some people have alot of nerve and can ask for anything from anyone and not think twice about it. Keep up the good work.


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## peachy51 (Feb 9, 2012)

You know, we all have only seen the written words that were said.

Only Amy heard the tone in which they were said and saw the body language. Sometimes both of those speak louder than the words.

But whether the clerk meant them as rude or not, apparently Amy was offended by the remarks. I am not easily offended, so I would have probably said, "Hey, girl, you have to wait your turn!" kiddingly and laughed.

(But as posted above, it never would have gotten that far with me either.)


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## Scoot915 (Mar 25, 2011)

taznwinston said:


> I am hoping, for this woman's sake, that she was trying to be sarcastically funny. I tend to be like that, saying things with a straight face, and it takes some getting used to by others. I don't mean to be sarcastic, just funny, but it does take people the wrong way sometimes. It is then I must remind myself that these others don't know me so well and they don't realized I'm just joshing them. So perhaps she's being this way and doesn't mean any harm. Let your heart be your guide. When you have time, make them for her, then you can decide when to give them to her.


Easier said than done...but try and let this not bother you so much.
I haven't read all the reply's (at work...should be working lol) but I agree with taznwinston. I am like this too and it took me a long time to realize people who don't know me don't know when I am joking..
Also agree with whoever wrote to tell her if you can you will have them done before Christmas and if not she will get them after


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## aquarius (Sep 16, 2011)

I wouldtell to her to buy a inexpensive pair and cut off tips to use. How rude of her. I work where it is cold and that's what I did. It works.


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## aquarius (Sep 16, 2011)

I wouldtell to her to buy a inexpensive pair of glovesand cut off tips to use. How rude of her. I work where it is cold and that's what I did. It works.


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## Mercury (Apr 12, 2012)

I would consider this a compliment. Remember she is working in a store that is crazy at Christmas time and also in a place where I believe it can be quite cold,yet she is interested in you and your family. I believe this is the true meaning of Christmas. Maybe you took her request in the wrong way but put yourself in her place, wouldn't it brighten your day to receive a pair of these gloves? Also you might receive the same good feeling when you present them to her. Merry Christmas.


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## Homeshppr (Feb 28, 2011)

At first I thought her comment was just a "general" one, like maybe she was just thinking out loud. By the end of your story, it was apparent that wasn't the case and this clerk was pretty bold to end up making demands to get herself on your Christmas gift-giving list.

Your kind soul reaches out in all your posts, so I don't think there's a chance you're NOT going to knit these gloves for this lady. You see her fairly often and it sounds like you're on friendly terms as she assists you. I certainly would NOT, however, be in any rush to accomodate her before Christmas. You're going to be VERY busy knitting for your family--right?? Besides, there are several cold months of winter remaining after the first of the year to enjoy your wonderful gift.

Let us know how this story ends. I'd almost be willing to bet we can predict the outcome. :-D :wink: :roll: :-D


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## Gabriell (Sep 13, 2011)

You seem to be such a sweet person and I'm sorry you have been put in this position. I think the woman doesn't have a clue as to the time it takes to knit. Stick to your guns and do them when you have extra time.


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## grannyfabulous4 (Apr 3, 2012)

Family and friends first! January and February are often much colder than December and she will appreciate them even more then. Since you agreed to make them, please do, for your own peace of mind, but AFTER your others are done. If you get them done before Christmas fine, if not, then you will still be on target with what you told her.


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## scumbugusa (Oct 10, 2011)

I have seen the high school kids with a hole cut in the cuff of their sweatshirts and their thumbs poking through. She is in the right place to use the scissors.


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## cullenbe (Jul 3, 2011)

Change grocery stores then go back in the summer when it's over 100 degrees!


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## taborhills (Sep 8, 2012)

Karoy said:


> You already told her you'd make her a pair after Christmas and you should stick to your guns. If she persists in being ungrateful, it might take you longer than "after Christmas" to make them for her. (Just my thoughts.)


"Guns"? "Persists"? What are we putting into this little incident, some annoyances or disappointments of our own? What crime was committed there at JoAnn's?

I find that it does not make me happy or satisfied to set myself up as the judge of others' behaviors; rather, let's look at our own habits of thought and see where we are initiating or perpetuating unhappiness. When we truly see how we are all connected, we become naturally more patient and generous in spirit. May all be well!


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## T.Raj (Mar 5, 2012)

Amyknits, you like me, think with the heart not the mind and sometimes that leads us into a not such pleasant situation as this. A couple of weeks ago, I made an angry bird hat that I showed the laundry lady. She has hinted many times for me to make one for her son. She is a personable lady. After spending a couple of hours making an angry bird crochet hat, I brought it to her shop to show if that was the type of hat her son would wear. She almost snatched it off my hands and put it in her handbag; I never saw the hat again. Her son took a picture wearing the hat and she showed it to me on her phone. I am not sure that she did that out of rudeness, it may have been out of excitement, and her reaction was perhaps not the best expression of it. Anyway, in the spirit of the holidays, I would make a simple, quick pair of gloves and gift them to the shop lady when time permits.

Would you mind sharing the pattern for your fingerless gloves, please. I will be off my feet for sometime as I injured my right ankle badly yesterday afternoon. I now have the chance to make some practical items for gifts. 

Happy knitting, T.Raj :lol:


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## kdb (Aug 29, 2012)

Maybe you should wait until she bring it up again, that way you will knoe that she is serious.


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## taborhills (Sep 8, 2012)

Delightful -- sweatshirts with holes for thumbs cut out! I first imagined that the holes were to facilitate thumb-sucking! Ha!
Now I see they had thumbthing else in mind.


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## morningstar (Mar 24, 2012)

bobctwn65 said:


> when you tell someone you will make them something you should do it...maybe she was just anxious to get them...just because she works in a yarn shop doesn't mean she knows about the time involved...only my opinion


I agree that working in that store does not mean she has any idea of what knitting or crocheting an object involves. You are such a positive person so give her the benefit of a doubt. I'd agree that, since you said that you'd make her a pair...after Christmas...do just that. Be sure to mention that you couldn't get them done any sooner. She'll enjoy your gift and there will be no hard feelings. Next time, don't mention your intention to make someone something. Just wait until you actually give them with your beautiful gift. Morningstar


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## DottieH (Mar 2, 2012)

I am surprised by the responses given by so many!!!!! I felt it was a compliment, and she was so excited by the prospect of receiving some of your beautiful work, and something to make her job "less painful" in the cold! Also, maybe she would like to show them off, and brag about your kindness!!! Most of responses I read took the negative "nasty" side of this issue------whew!!!!!!

Amy, keep your kind spirit------'tis the season! I think it was a compliment!


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## cathyknits (Nov 1, 2012)

We're on page NINE of the comments here! Amy, you obviously struck a chord!
For whatever the reason, too many of us have been caught feeling obliged to knit things we brought up out of the goodness of our hearts! (I won't even get into the timing, item/colour/material choices or whether the item is appreciated more than something from the dollar store.) It's so hard to keep the joy of the hobby (sewers know this, too!) from turning into work sometimes!


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## sues4hrts (Apr 22, 2011)

AmyKnits said:


> I need a little help deciding about this one.... she has me stumped. I think most of you know by now that I knit for my OWN enjoyment and the enjoyment of making people soemthing they will love and enjoy. From the heirloom christening blanket that has been used twice in the year since I made it.... to the "crazy mohawk" hat I made for my little 10-year old fashionista.... I will never sell anything I have made, but go out of my way to knit something as a "thank you" or show of appreciation. My latest was a cabled scarf I sent to the wonderful man on Etsy who made my yarn bowls I have enjoyed so much. The BEST part was the thank you note he sent.... apparently he has severe asthma and starting in the fall always wears a scarf to cover his face if it is windy. He says he has quite a collection and was happy to add mine to it.
> 
> Here is my problem. I shop for yarn at Joann's quite often. The woman who waited on me yesterday took the time to ask me about my son who is away at college in Alabama. She remembered from our conversations that he goes to school there and asked specifically how he was adjusting and getting along. (yes, yes, yes I am very chatty and much to my children's dismay... most people within a ten mile radius know every detail of my life!) LOL
> 
> ...


I agree with most of the posts, but it sounds like you are like me and have a hard time saying no. I too would make the gloves, but I would give them to her after Christmas, unless you complete all your family/friends gifts before. I'm always ready to help...but unfortunately most people that do not do what we do, have no idea the time that is put into the things we make. I also do it for the joy I get from it. I do not like to mass produce for selling with the exception of a charity project. I say plan on after Christmas and just smile and say hi if you should see her before then. There you have my two cents!


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## SAMkewel (Mar 5, 2011)

bobctwn65 said:


> when you tell someone you will make them something you should do it...maybe she was just anxious to get them...just because she works in a yarn shop doesn't mean she knows about the time involved...only my opinion


Given that it was Jo-anne's, that's far from being a yarn shop in my area. The amount of yarn they are carrying these days is a mere token compared to other items they sell, so I agree, she probably doesn't have a clue about what's involved. It sounds as if she may be another of the "me first" generation, kind of a turn-off for those of us who aren't card-carrying members of the entitlement club :~).


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## morningstar (Mar 24, 2012)

cathyknits said:


> We're on page NINE of the comments here! Amy, you obviously struck a chord!
> For whatever the reason, too many of us have been caught feeling obliged to knit things we brought up out of the goodness of our hearts! (I won't even get into the timing, item/colour/material choices or whether the item is appreciated more than something from the dollar store.) It's so hard to keep the joy of the hobby (sewers know this, too!) from turning into work sometimes!


Some comic relief: For years, I was asked to make the apple pies for a particular annual feast. Everyone enjoyed them, and...seemingly...the person who hosted the feast. Well, one year I was ill and could not bake. When the goodies were served, Mrs. Smith's apple pies were part of the choices. That same hostess, while eathing the Mrs. Smith's pie, commented, "This Mrs. Smith's apple pie is so good. It's better than home made!" I, along with a room full of people, laughed because life is too short for petty grudges. Let's all try to see the humor in it but that doesn't mean to permit others to take advantage of your good nature.


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## brain56 (Aug 31, 2012)

Homeshppr said:


> At first I thought her comment was just a "general" one, like maybe she was just thinking out loud. By the end of your story, it was apparent that wasn't the case and this clerk was pretty bold to end up making demands to get herself on your Christmas gift-giving list.
> 
> Your kind soul reaches out in all your posts, so I don't think there's a chance you're NOT going to knit these gloves for this lady. You see her fairly often and it sounds like you're on friendly terms as she assists you. I certainly would NOT, however, be in any rush to accomodate her before Christmas. You're going to be VERY busy knitting for your family--right?? Besides, there are several cold months of winter remaining after the first of the year to enjoy your wonderful gift.
> 
> Let us know how this story ends. I'd almost be willing to bet we can predict the outcome. :-D :wink: :roll: :-D


You spoke for me!


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## taborhills (Sep 8, 2012)

kdb said:


> Maybe you should wait until she bring it up again, that way you will knoe that she is serious.


She might well later be embarrassed to press the knitter. The gracious way would be to bring it up yourself, either regretfully saying you cannot do this after all or to say the job is in the pipeline. Be of good cheer!

Which will you feel best after?


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## Little Person (Jul 13, 2012)

If she cannot understand that you make all your Christmas gifts and you just don't have the time before, she can wait until after Christmas - isn't it still cold near the front door a and can she still use them!! I too would stick to your guns - she can wait and, if not, maybe you won't have enough time nor the inclination to make them for her!!! Everyone has a little grinch in them - make her wait!! :roll:


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## SAMkewel (Mar 5, 2011)

taborhills said:


> Karoy said:
> 
> 
> > You already told her you'd make her a pair after Christmas and you should stick to your guns. If she persists in being ungrateful, it might take you longer than "after Christmas" to make them for her. (Just my thoughts.)
> ...


Yes, you're right; some of us have had so many major annoyances and disappointments in life that it changes our outlooks. I don't think that's a crime either. It's interesting that you don't mind judging us.....


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## ayjay (Apr 3, 2011)

I was having that same thing happen to me.
My DH came up with this idea.
I now have a small notebook I keep in my purse. I have all of my "would you make these for me?" in it. I put it in first come first serve. I take out my note book and put it down where they can see it and say. Okay, I will put it on my list.These are already ahead of you for request. Then I put their name on the page, and what item, and say, see when I get to your name I will check it off and it will be done, for you. Then I give them the biggest smile I have and say see here ya go. Some of the expressions on their faces are priceless. They just don't understand that other people want things too. Saved my bottom side more that once.
Arlene
ayjay


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## taborhills (Sep 8, 2012)

Not judging anyone, just adding my perspective as we all are trying to be happy.


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## jjane139 (Mar 16, 2011)

It seems to me that the clerk was tryingnot to rush you at a busy time of year. I'd put the best possible construction on her suggestion of delay. Now is when she is cold. Now is when the door will open the most often all day and let cold air rush in on her.


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## AmyKnits (Aug 20, 2011)

Oh, my goodness. Thank you all for your opinions and comments. I sat today and read each and every one of them. Do you know what struck me the most? How very well all of you know me! I am touched and blessed that all of you read my posts and remember my little comments and "know" me so well.

Yes, I would have preferred them to be a nice surprise. Had she not asked me for a pair, I would have just gone home, put down what I was working on and made a pair for her. Since she put me "on the spot" a little, I felt I HAD to offer to make them for her. She did go on to say that she would like them in thinner yarn so she could move her hands better while she was working. She is an older woman and I watched her very thin hands work the register I did think she must be cold.

Of course I WILL make them. It just won't be as much fun now... that she expects them. I don't know about all of you, but I know there are some of you who knit for the same reason I do... for the fun of it. When I am pressured or there is a deadline, it takes the fun out of it. It won't be as BIG of a surprise, but if I make them BEFORE Christmas, it will still be a surprise. 

Thank you all for your kind words. Of course, now I feel OBLIGATED to get back to all of you! LOL Seriously, for all of you taking the time to offer your advice, I will knit a quick pair up for her tomorrow and will get back to you on her reaction.

Blessings to all of you. You have touched me with your words of advice and understanding, but most of all... have surprised me with how well you know me. Very humbling.


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## DeeDeeF (Mar 29, 2011)

Deep inside you know what you should do - my two cents, which is usually worth zero, you have those you planned to make prior to the statement to her. Go ahead with an easy mind and heart and do those first.


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## 4578 (Feb 2, 2011)

Sometimes words just slip out. Her hands were cold and you offered some relief...what a blessing for her. It is a blessing for your kindness that as and when you knit her gloves, you will know they will keep a caring person's hands warm. I think she expressed how cold her hands really were by wanting them soon. That does not obligate you to getting them done by any certain time.


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## taborhills (Sep 8, 2012)

Dear dear Amyknits,

Thanks for your delightful answer. Will it not be fun to make these gloves in just the colors you can see on her, or with just the design? I see you have observed her situation, her hands, her age. That could be fun!
Yes, we are watching you and we notice.  I imagine one reason is that because of your lovely photo, we can well imagine you. 
Good luck!


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## sonialyne (Nov 26, 2012)

What an effective way of dealing with problems. I had a co-worker once who just acted in the same manner. When her supervisor came to her with a new task, she agreed with a smile, opened her agenda and just advised him that, unless he changed the order of priorities in all her other tasks, this new one would have to wait until such date. It worked miracles and I adopted the method for myself.



ayjay said:


> I was having that same thing happen to me.
> My DH came up with this idea.
> I now have a small notebook I keep in my purse. I have all of my "would you make these for me?" in it. I put it in first come first serve. I take out my note book and put it down where they can see it and say. Okay, I will put it on my list.These are already ahead of you for request. Then I put their name on the page, and what item, and say, see when I get to your name I will check it off and it will be done, for you. Then I give them the biggest smile I have and say see here ya go. Some of the expressions on their faces are priceless. They just don't understand that other people want things too. Saved my bottom side more that once.
> Arlene
> ayjay


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

Kathy Capral said:


> gramtonine said:
> 
> 
> > Sounds like the gal had her mouth in action before engaging her brain.....how unfortunate!
> ...


Find someone it's never happened to.


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## MichelleV (Jul 3, 2012)

Unless you're friends with this gal and she feels comfortable joking with you like that- or you know she was just being goofy, then I think she was way out of line. I certainly wouldn't drop what I was doing and make her something. Tell her if she's really in need, she can get a pair of gloves at the dollar tree and cut the fingers off. [ok, I can tell from your post you're way too nice for that] but wow- on the surface that sounds really rude on her part!!!

OK now I've read more- she's a little old lady and probably didn't mean anything rude- glad you have a solution and that she's gonna get her gloves!!


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## bfralix (Sep 25, 2011)

I think family should come first.And Roll Tide I'm a big Bama fan


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

Maybe she said, "Oh, AFTER Christmas" because she was relieved it wouldn't be a Christmas gift - because - she can't reciprocate. 

Is this really the season to jump on someone because of one statement she made while she was at work, doing her job, waiting on customers during the Christmas rush? There are countless reasons why she might have said that, and only one of them is rudeness. 

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.


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## cdanzinger (Sep 1, 2011)

girls, don't take this wrong but Amy is so sweet and without a doubt she would probably give the shirt off her pretty back for someone. I think it would be easy to take advantage of Amy but am just wondering while there's obvious assertiveness with the cashier, I'm curious if that's her sense of humor.. I could see me joking with someone saying exactly those things but I do know I would laugh and say "just kidden". She obviously needs a pair so what if she's rude, and demanding those are the kind of people I like reaching out to and for.. This is just me girls. Amy, I would sacrifice your generous time in referring to us patterns that are always keepsakes and take that time to do her a pair of gloves. Better yet, I'd love to have your pattern. Blessings to you for sharing with us.Cathy


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

julielacykntr said:


> jmcret05 said:
> 
> 
> > For me, the casual conversations about a purchase or a kind comment on something I've made do not obligate me to make something and give it away. Continue to give your efforts of time and talent to those who you really want to give to, and--- "wait for it"!!-----WHEN you want to do something for that person. Knitting is supposed to be fun, because you can't make a living knitting. You said, "I LOVE knitting for people who will appreciate it and don't expect it" Go with what you feel!!
> ...


Right - a kind reply would be, "I'd love to have them ready for Christmas, but I'm just too busy to have them ready." That covers it. I just don't understand why one comment causes people to label this woman, whom we have never met except through the mainly nice things Amy has said about her, rude or insensitive or ignorant. I think the comments about her, which have been thought out, are much harsher than her off-the-cuff inflection of the word "after." She didn't mean any harm that I can see.


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## jshively3 (Jul 13, 2011)

I would also love this very special pattern, especially that it was a success last year!


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## Hazel Blumberg - McKee (Sep 9, 2011)

Go with your gut feelings. What direction are they leading you in?

Hazel


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

sonialyne said:


> What an effective way of dealing with problems. I had a co-worker once who just acted in the same manner. When her supervisor came to her with a new task, she agreed with a smile, opened her agenda and just advised him that, unless he changed the order of priorities in all her other tasks, this new one would have to wait until such date. It worked miracles and I adopted the method for myself.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Great idea - it's kind to everyone. You're taking care of the requests in order, and she knows you want to do it because you're actually writing it down. I'm going to try that, although I'll admit that I have very few requests.


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

sonialyne said:


> What an effective way of dealing with problems. I had a co-worker once who just acted in the same manner. When her supervisor came to her with a new task, she agreed with a smile, opened her agenda and just advised him that, unless he changed the order of priorities in all her other tasks, this new one would have to wait until such date. It worked miracles and I adopted the method for myself.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Great idea - it's kind to everyone. You're taking care of the requests in order, and she knows you want to do it because you're actually writing it down. I'm going to try that, although I'll admit that I have very few requests.


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

If Amy isn't sure what the woman meant, how can we possibly know. She sounds like a sweet woman - I'd make her the gloves after the holidays.


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

cdanzinger said:


> girls, don't take this wrong but Amy is so sweet and without a doubt she would probably give the shirt off her pretty back for someone. I think it would be easy to take advantage of Amy but am just wondering while there's obvious assertiveness with the cashier, I'm curious if that's her sense of humor.. I could see me joking with someone saying exactly those things but I do know I would laugh and say "just kidden". She obviously needs a pair so what if she's rude, and demanding those are the kind of people I like reaching out to and for.. This is just me girls. Amy, I would sacrifice your generous time in referring to us patterns that are always keepsakes and take that time to do her a pair of gloves. Better yet, I'd love to have your pattern. Blessings to you for sharing with us.Cathy


Wonderful response!


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## Grandmaknitstoo (Jul 6, 2011)

Amy , if you don't have time to make her a pair before Christmas, give her yours. I have made 0 pairs for myself. Our house is cool and Iknit&rochet using old bamboo socks on my hands that I cut the toes from to make a thumb hole on the heel i just made a hole. The bamboo is light weight and warm. If you have a pair of worn bamboo socks i would recommend trying this.LOL


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## 4578 (Feb 2, 2011)

Thank you.


bonbf3 said:


> Maybe she said, "Oh, AFTER Christmas" because she was relieved it wouldn't be a Christmas gift - because - she can't reciprocate.
> 
> Is this really the season to jump on someone because of one statement she made while she was at work, doing her job, waiting on customers during the Christmas rush? There are countless reasons why she might have said that, and only one of them is rudeness.
> 
> Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.


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## 4578 (Feb 2, 2011)

Aren't DH's thoughtful? He sure gave you a great idea and a help!


bonbf3 said:


> sonialyne said:
> 
> 
> > What an effective way of dealing with problems. I had a co-worker once who just acted in the same manner. When her supervisor came to her with a new task, she agreed with a smile, opened her agenda and just advised him that, unless he changed the order of priorities in all her other tasks, this new one would have to wait until such date. It worked miracles and I adopted the method for myself.
> ...


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## Auntie L (Aug 16, 2012)

is it fun or charity


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## Scrubbienut (Dec 26, 2011)

mirl56 said:


> I totally get that she has ruined the fun of it for you. Rather nervey of her to want them sooner (you sure she wasn't trying to be sarcastic/funny?). But as long as you can get your family/friends done in time i'd still make an effort to get her a pair before Christmas.


I have a feeling she was being sarcastic (in a trying to be funny way) because she works in a craft place and knows full well what it takes to hand knit any item.


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## SAMkewel (Mar 5, 2011)

taborhills said:


> Whatever you do or say, will it enhance the world?


Wow, if you're going to take it upon your shoulders to enhance the world, I worry about what will happen when you burn out trying to do the impossible and there is no one willing to enhance your world--unless, of course, you are referring to your own personal world. Rose colored glasses can get folks into big trouble if they're naive enough to believe it's a foolproof way to live life. No, I'm not being sarcastic or negative, just realistic.


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## alese (May 16, 2012)

offer to teach her how to make a pair if she does not knit, but tell her that you don't have time until some time after valentine's day!


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## KnitterNatalie (Feb 20, 2011)

Amy, when faced with such an ungracious comment like that again, just smile as say that you will get it (the project) knitted just as soon as you can, and with the commitment that you've already made, the project realistically will probably be knitted after the holidays. Tell her that if she's in a real need, Target & Walmart are selling the acrylic machine-made versions now. Happy Knitting!


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## MaineSqueeze (Feb 23, 2012)

I think you might want to speak with her and say I wanted to make you a gift, and then you spoiled it by wanting them by Christmas, You know I'm making many knitted items for my family for Christmas. Would you stop making stuff for your family and make something for me? I don't think you would. The only way I'd do it, and I think the only way you'd do it too, would be to pay me to make them. Oh and if you want them before Christmas they'd cost $"X. It takes me X hours to make them and don't forget the cost of the yarn. Would you like to apologize for expecting My random act of kindness to come when you want it? Dang if your hands are cold go buy some gloves at the dollar store and cut the tips off! 

Maybe not said in this order, but it would depend on how the first part was received. Do what you feel is right, You do have the right to change your mind, It's not like a binding contract, you can tell her her comment upset you and now you don't feel so inclined.


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

SAMkewel said:


> taborhills said:
> 
> 
> > Whatever you do or say, will it enhance the world?
> ...


Good question, SAMkewel - we may not be able to enhance the whole world, but it's an ideal to shoot for. It's a way to live for something that is bigger than self. We may fail at times, but it's worth the effort.

Taborhills, maybe we can be realistic AND try to enhance the world. As long as we realize that nothing is perfect, we can do our best to add to the good instead of the bad. ???


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## nanathewiz (Nov 7, 2012)

jjane139 said:


> It seems to me that the clerk was tryingnot to rush you at a busy time of year. I'd put the best possible construction on her suggestion of delay. Now is when she is cold. Now is when the door will open the most often all day and let cold air rush in on her.


Exactly, She was just probably thinking of the here and now. She really needs them now..and jokingly said that to you, why do I have to wait until after christmas..

I knew you would knit her a pair, being the sweet, kind person you are.. this might have popped your bubble, of it being a surprise, but she doesn't know she will get them before christmas.. It will still be a surprise to her. I wish I could see her face when you do give them to her...


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## Country Bumpkins (Feb 18, 2011)

SueLD said:


> I wouldn't fret about this Amy. You graciously offered and this lady certainly understands your situation fully with knitting for family for Christmas...she knows you well enough to know you are a gracious lady with ethic's and morals. It may be she has learned that manipulation get's her what she needs/wants in life. That is sad. You only hold to your word. I would put the fingerless gloves for her out of sight for now. You have a loving family you want to please with hand made gifts for Christmas, concentrate on those family members whom I'm sure will appreciate the gifts you are knitting for them. Place this situation with the store clerk out of mind for now...and I would hold to your word despite her disturbing attitude to give her the gloves after Christmas. She has probably seen your work and realizes your talent so she would like to show off to say 'a friend had knit these for me'. She can then wear them through the rest of the winter months and for Christmas next year as she works near the cold coming in from outside...if she still has this job next Christmas. It is her character to be 'brazen' ... I'm sure you are not the first to be offended by her. Do not take this personally. I feel you only are obligated to give her kindness and maybe a little empathy as I have stated...it is sad that she uses manipulation to find happiness in her life.


I think you are right Sue. She is probably a manipulator. Amy go buy her some gloves the price you would pay for the yarn for making them. Tell the woman here are your gloves to keep your hands warm since I don't have time to make you some before Christimas. Tell her you wouldn't want her to have cold hands. The next time she asks for something homemade say you are too busy. She is a taker and your love for knitting for someone shouldn't be trampled on by a woman like her. Merry Christmas sweet Amy don't be upset by her. Lord Bless!


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## jmarcus276 (Jan 23, 2011)

taznwinston said:


> I am hoping, for this woman's sake, that she was trying to be sarcastically funny. I tend to be like that, saying things with a straight face, and it takes some getting used to by others. I don't mean to be sarcastic, just funny, but it does take people the wrong way sometimes. It is then I must remind myself that these others don't know me so well and they don't realized I'm just joshing them. So perhaps she's being this way and doesn't mean any harm. Let your heart be your guide. When you have time, make them for her, then you can decide when to give them to her.


Couldn't express it better  i'm the same way....


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## tmlester (Apr 8, 2011)

I agree with all above, but with one caveat...I made a hat and scarf for a co-worker who was having money troubles and gave her warmest ones to her daughter. I didn't tell her in advance and when I presented them to her, she cried. Sometimes our thoughtfulness is appreciated more than we know. Some people are just less tactful in showing it!


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## Melindaz (Jan 17, 2012)

I would not make them for her. She is rude.


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## kikifields (Jul 3, 2011)

She sure sounds cheeky to me! She's not a friend, not even an aquaintance! She checks you out at the store for pity sakes! I'd put her gloves, if you do them, at the bottom of the list of things you need to get done!


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## pfoley (Nov 29, 2011)

This is a problem I have read a few times on this forum so far, and I do not understand why people get themselves into this predicament. If someone asks you to make them something, and ---- you do not have the time,--- or you really do not want to make it for them, ----- just tell them up front; I just don't have the time, or there is no way I could have those done before Christmas, as I have five other people ahead of you already; if you still want the gloves I cannot give them to you until after Christmas. For those who want to sell something to someone; tell them up front what you would charge for the item between cost of yarn and time spent making it; don't be wishy washy, and then see if they still want it; it ends there; no problem.


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

kikifields said:


> She sure sounds cheeky to me! She's not a friend, not even an aquaintance! She checks you out at the store for pity sakes! I'd put her gloves, if you do them, at the bottom of the list of things you need to get done!


She may not be friend in the typical sense of the word, but she certainly uses her time at work to be friendly to those she serves. What a nice person! I can see why Amy wanted to make her something.


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## yarnstars (Feb 26, 2011)

Go with your instincts, here is my story. I just really love to make crocheted blankets for gifts not selling. I also make fleece blankets and embroider the recipients name on them with my embroidery machine. Everyone who welcomes me to their home for a holiday, gets something from me. My daughter in laws cousin loves the blankets I made for her little girl for the baby shower. Last Christmas she told my dil that we would not be invited to her house for Xmas because her husband has a large family and her (1500square foot house) was too small to include me, my husband and son, for the party. We are not large people, just normal size. Now every time she writes on my wall or sees me she tells me that her daughter needs a larger blanket with her name and her new baby is left out because she has no blanket. I have never seen the new baby, I will not make her anymore things. My dil's sister wrote some filth about me, untrue, lies, do you think I went to her baby shower and gave her blankets, no way. On the other hand my dil's other sister always welcomes us to her small home, no matter how large the crowd. Her kids have bed size fleece blankets, crocheted throws, pillows of fleece with their names embroidered, and crocheted dolls and she treats us with love and care. Any one in a hurry for a free gift doesn't deserve one.


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## ginnyinnr (May 20, 2012)

yarnstars said:


> Go with your instincts, here is my story. I just really love to make crocheted blankets for gifts not selling. I also make fleece blankets and embroider the recipients name on them with my embroidery machine. Everyone who welcomes me to their home for a holiday, gets something from me. My daughter in laws cousin loves the blankets I made for her little girl for the baby shower. Last Christmas she told my dil that we would not be invited to her house for Xmas because her husband has a large family and her (1500square foot house) was too small to include me, my husband and son, for the party. We are not large people, just normal size. Now every time she writes on my wall or sees me she tells me that her daughter needs a larger blanket with her name and her new baby is left out because she has no blanket. I have never seen the new baby, I will not make her anymore things. My dil's sister wrote some filth about me, untrue, lies, do you think I went to her baby shower and gave her blankets, no way. On the other hand my dil's other sister always welcomes us to her small home, no matter how large the crowd. Her kids have bed size fleece blankets, crocheted throws, pillows of fleece with their names embroidered, and crocheted dolls and she treats us with love and care. Any one in a hurry for a free gift doesn't deserve one.


Good for you, hold fast on your decisions. Being taken for granted for whatever the reason doesn't deserve presents.


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## domesticgod (Apr 6, 2011)

Okay, she said she is almost always freezing and that the gloves would help when she's working by the front doors. I think her question is reasonable under the circumstances. She could possibly have phrased it differently, but I doubt she was intending to be rude about it. 
Consider that she's working at Joann's, and probably isn't making much above minimum wage. For her to buy a pair of fingerless gloves would be an unaffordable luxury. 
Look at it this way. If you had cold hands all the time and you knew the situation was not going to change until the weather did and somebody offered to make those gloves for you, wouldn't you want them ASAP? 
I think I would try to fit them in with the others you are working on and at least make an attempt to get them done before Christmas, just out of the kindness of you heart.
You might consider setting up a rotation where you work on each project for a set amount of time and then switch to the next one. I do that, and it keeps me from getting bored with any one project, and if there's something I'm really enjoying working on, it's a stimulus to be able to get back to that one again.


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## taborhills (Sep 8, 2012)

SAMkewel said:


> taborhills said:
> 
> 
> > Whatever you do or say, will it enhance the world?
> ...


Every choice we make either makes the world a tiny bit better or a little worse. *That* is the reality.


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## domesticgod (Apr 6, 2011)

bonbf3 said:


> SAMkewel said:
> 
> 
> > taborhills said:
> ...


This sort-of-kind-of tangent thread reminded me of this:

It is better to light just one little candle, 
Than to stumble in the dark! 
Better far that you light just one little candle, 
All you need is a tiny spark!

If we'd all say a prayer that the world would be free, 
The wonderful dawn of a new day we'll see! 
And, if everyone lit just one little candle, 
What a bright world this would be!

Let's all light one little candle, 
Why stumble on in the dark? 
When the day is dark an' dreary, 
And your way is hard to find, 
Don't let your heart be weary, 
Just keep this thought in mind!

It is better to light just one little candle, 
Than to stumble in the dark! 
Better far that you light just one little candle, 
All you need is a tiny spark!


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## sam0767 (Jun 20, 2012)

Maybe she ment it in a jokingly way. You never know. But I agree with a majority of people that family comes first and she comes after the holidays.


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## taborhills (Sep 8, 2012)

Every choice we make either helps the world or does not. THat actually IS reality. Supposedly tiny acts make a difference; only together we can do it.


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## TraceyMcK (Nov 10, 2012)

taborhills said:


> Every choice we make either helps the world or does not. THat actually IS reality. Supposedly tiny acts make a difference; only together we can do it.


You're right, and to those struggling with the seeming global nature of your original statement, I would be tempted to nuance your statement by saying "our small corner of the world." Maybe my choices do not influence the entire world, but they do influence the people around me who influence those around them and outward in concentric circles.


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## jinxy (Jul 22, 2012)

If you see her again, just say "I'll bet you don't knit or you'd realize how long all these Christmas projects will take me. You're on my list." That tells her that you'll get to hers when her number comes up. You're not being rude, and you can relax about when you get to that project.


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## kneonknitter (Feb 10, 2011)

AmyKnits said:


> I need a little help deciding about this one.... she has me stumped. I think most of you know by now that I knit for my OWN enjoyment and the enjoyment of making people soemthing they will love and enjoy. From the heirloom christening blanket that has been used twice in the year since I made it.... to the "crazy mohawk" hat I made for my little 10-year old fashionista.... I will never sell anything I have made, but go out of my way to knit something as a "thank you" or show of appreciation. My latest was a cabled scarf I sent to the wonderful man on Etsy who made my yarn bowls I have enjoyed so much. The BEST part was the thank you note he sent.... apparently he has severe asthma and starting in the fall always wears a scarf to cover his face if it is windy. He says he has quite a collection and was happy to add mine to it.
> 
> Here is my problem. I shop for yarn at Joann's quite often. The woman who waited on me yesterday took the time to ask me about my son who is away at college in Alabama. She remembered from our conversations that he goes to school there and asked specifically how he was adjusting and getting along. (yes, yes, yes I am very chatty and much to my children's dismay... most people within a ten mile radius know every detail of my life!) LOL
> 
> ...


Amy...she obviously feels that whatever she wants is coming to her & that's pretty selfish, especially since she isn't a family member or friend. I think she has a lot of nerve expecting you to give her what she wants in any specified time frame & if I were you, I wouldn't knit it or give it to her at all.


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## taborhills (Sep 8, 2012)

Nice amplification and clarification, Tracy, thanks! 
I was also reflecting on all those who have influenced my own life -- hosts from Scotland, drivers who picked me up when I was a student hitch-hiker, teachers from England and Tibet and Bhutan, neighbors from Korea and California and New Zealand, colleagues from India -- and people on KP! 
Our "little corner of the world" is larger than we ordinarily think. Vast. Who knows who reads our posts or hears our voice or sees our acts -- or (indeed) our little knitted gifts?


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## ultrahiggs (Jun 4, 2012)

Oh Amy, you are too kind - just stick to your plans and make her a pair after Xmas, although saying that not sure she deserves any


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## SAMkewel (Mar 5, 2011)

taborhills said:


> SAMkewel said:
> 
> 
> > taborhills said:
> ...


Yes, I can agree with that. I've also seen (and been one) of those people who are extremely idealistic and they pay a heavy price for that. My point is only that anything taken to any extreme is not good for anyone, neither giver nor recipient.


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## mernie (Mar 20, 2011)

If she works in a yarn store, shouldn't she understand that knitting isn't at all similar to making cookies? I would not give it a single thought. Make the gloves, only when and if you feel like it. She had a lot of (insert adjective) asking you for them?


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## taborhills (Sep 8, 2012)

SAMkewel said:


> taborhills said:
> 
> 
> > SAMkewel said:
> ...


Did the original statement suggest extremes?


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## CAS50 (Mar 26, 2012)

How sweet of you to make her mittens!! I bet she was showing her appreciation, anticipation and excitement with her "after Christmas?" remark.

I think everyone gets stressed and needs soothing during the holidays, and store clerks really catch a lot of wrath.

She'll be so thrilled whenever she gets them She'll probably be thrice thrilled that you remembered in spite of everything that's going on with your family and friends. I think a present after the holiday excitement has dimmed down will be even more fun.

Of course, my birthday is NY's Eve so I have the inside track on that. lol!


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## SAMkewel (Mar 5, 2011)

taborhills said:


> SAMkewel said:
> 
> 
> > taborhills said:
> ...


No, it did not. However, if you're going through life looking out for the other guy, don't forget that there are those who see everything in terms of extremes.


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## ginnyinnr (May 20, 2012)

Amyknits, will you tell us what you hve decided to do with all of the suggestions and thoughts that have been given?


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## mmccamant (Jul 17, 2011)

There's still lots of cold weather after Christmas.


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## nhauf001 (Jan 18, 2011)

AmyKnits said:


> I need a little help deciding about this one.... she has me stumped. I think most of you know by now that I knit for my OWN enjoyment and the enjoyment of making people soemthing they will love and enjoy. From the heirloom christening blanket that has been used twice in the year since I made it.... to the "crazy mohawk" hat I made for my little 10-year old fashionista.... I will never sell anything I have made, but go out of my way to knit something as a "thank you" or show of appreciation. My latest was a cabled scarf I sent to the wonderful man on Etsy who made my yarn bowls I have enjoyed so much. The BEST part was the thank you note he sent.... apparently he has severe asthma and starting in the fall always wears a scarf to cover his face if it is windy. He says he has quite a collection and was happy to add mine to it.
> 
> Here is my problem. I shop for yarn at Joann's quite often. The woman who waited on me yesterday took the time to ask me about my son who is away at college in Alabama. She remembered from our conversations that he goes to school there and asked specifically how he was adjusting and getting along. (yes, yes, yes I am very chatty and much to my children's dismay... most people within a ten mile radius know every detail of my life!) LOL
> 
> ...


I say knit them on your schedule -- if she has a schedule, she can go buy a pair or make them herself.
(and I mean that in the nicest way possible)


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## SandieK (Apr 27, 2012)

I agree that she needs to wait until you have finished all the family and friends gifts you are making. She needs a lesson in being gracious...or she can go to Target or Walmart and buy a pair of fingerless gloves for less than $5.


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## elanaanderson (Feb 12, 2011)

i say do not knit them...she clearly feels like you owe her something...which you absolutely do not, despite your assertion that you would make them. you have every right to change your mind.


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## LunaDragon (Sep 8, 2012)

You have prior commitments, family. when you get time and feel like making them, enjoy. She will use them, I am sure, but you are not committed to making them unless you choose to. She sees many people come and go. I am sure you are not the only one whom buys yarn and fabric. both are easy enough to make on her on if she chooses too. ((HuGs) stick to your guns and if you feel she is worth the time and effort, then do what you feel is right.


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## debra rochner (Oct 14, 2011)

I know this is not the popular answer, however, I'm not always cordial when cold, so I'm sure she's cold and probably didn't want to wait as she's so busy before Christmas and sick of being cold. I feel bad for all the clerks, and I've noticed alot wearing coats this year, that have to work near entrances. As a matter of fact, at lunch today the guy in the restaurant had on a heavy sweater and he told me how cold he gets at the register.


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## dec2057 (May 30, 2011)

AmyKnits said:


> I need a little help deciding about this one.... she has me stumped. I think most of you know by now that I knit for my OWN enjoyment and the enjoyment of making people soemthing they will love and enjoy. From the heirloom christening blanket that has been used twice in the year since I made it.... to the "crazy mohawk" hat I made for my little 10-year old fashionista.... I will never sell anything I have made, but go out of my way to knit something as a "thank you" or show of appreciation. My latest was a cabled scarf I sent to the wonderful man on Etsy who made my yarn bowls I have enjoyed so much. The BEST part was the thank you note he sent.... apparently he has severe asthma and starting in the fall always wears a scarf to cover his face if it is windy. He says he has quite a collection and was happy to add mine to it.
> 
> Here is my problem. I shop for yarn at Joann's quite often. The woman who waited on me yesterday took the time to ask me about my son who is away at college in Alabama. She remembered from our conversations that he goes to school there and asked specifically how he was adjusting and getting along. (yes, yes, yes I am very chatty and much to my children's dismay... most people within a ten mile radius know every detail of my life!) LOL
> 
> ...


Perhaps the lady was joking..at least I hope so because if she wasn't her comment was rude. Do your knitting that you have scheduled and if you still feel like making her some after Christmas (or if she brings it up again) then make her some but don't let it bother you in the meantime.

I get folks asking for things because they know I do a lot of charity work and don't see why I can't drop everything to make them what they want over what others need. Sometimes I just let it roll off my back like a duck and sometimes I take the time to explain the difference between wants and needs. If folks get demanding at all, then that is the end of the discussion.


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## NancyinMichigan (Oct 27, 2012)

She was guilty of misplaced enthusiasm. Assume that she meant well, she meant to express excitement at the thought of receiving a pair of your nice gloves. And then knit them for her in the order in which the request was made (as the folks who deal with lines are so fond of telling us.)


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## SueLD (Jun 22, 2012)

Well Amy...here it is, you have today at this time 14 pages of responses to your question "knit worthy or not". You now have not only opinions of how to deal with your dilemma but a look at each person's way of thinking. You know this woman best than any of us as you've evidently chatted with her before when visiting Jo Ann's. I trust after the shock of her remark and hopefully have gotten through the hurt and sad from her remark, and that given the time to think more about this, you know what you believe you will/want/should handle this. I used to live in a town where everyone knows about every one so I understand the socializing situation. I personally would not spend a lot of time debating this in my mind. I'm sure you can handle this graciously as it is the kind of woman you are. You know better than any of us.


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## NY Hummer (Oct 16, 2012)

hi 
well, if I had that experience, I guess it would show me that I need to be more cautious of what I say!!!
Not pointing fingers -because I get myself into situations similar to yours! 
I often over-extend myself trying to please everyone......when we all know......that can't happen!
I'd suggest that if you go back to the store, and happen to see the same clerk and she mentions it [she could have forgotten it by now], tell her you are like one of Santa's elves and you're trying your best to finish all your projects, but some good boys and girls are going to have to wait a bit and extend their holiday a little while! 
The rule I've learned is that I can't say yes to everything - and to follow my heart. So you do what YOU feel best in this situation. Hope all your days are happy knitting days, : )


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## 9ewes (Sep 10, 2012)

Yes I agree with the others, didn't she get you have four more pairs to do? Sounds to me like that part went right over her head.


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

taborhills said:


> SAMkewel said:
> 
> 
> > taborhills said:
> ...


That makes sense to me.


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## nankat (Oct 17, 2012)

You were most gratious to agree to make her something. It would have been best if she, too, had been gratious. Just let her know that you have added her to your list and will do your best to also accomodate her. I too have a list. I bet most of us do.


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## Silver Threads (Aug 24, 2012)

taborhills said:


> cinknitting said:
> 
> 
> > I think you should go to the dollar store, buy a pair of strechy gloves, cut the tips off, and give them to her! let her know that these are to hold her over until you have the chance to get to hers!
> ...


This is just plain bitchy.

Amy is not like this.


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## Clown Around (Feb 25, 2012)

Another option is to clarify with her, did she really mean she wanted them before Christmas? You could even let her know you were taken aback by the way she responded. She sounds like a caring person and perhaps would be embarrassed at her behavior. Clearing the air could take the pressure of you and avoid being uncomfortable with her the next time you are in the store. Nancy


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## Sedona (Oct 3, 2011)

This is a very interesting question Amy asked, and there's been an amazing amount of comments. We are all different and while I don't agree with all the responses - I do respect everyone's point of view. I don't know what's happened in each of your lives to bring such a variety of responses, but I'm thankful for the differences - otherwise it would be a very boring world. Also thankful for the common bond of knitting/crocheting we all share - you're all wonderful! Happy knitting 

Today will never come again.
Be a blessing.
Be a friend.
Encourage someone.
Take time to care.
Let your words heal,
and not wound.


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## czechmate (Jun 17, 2011)

After that comment no mits for her.....


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## GenevaR (May 16, 2012)

I am a knitter and knit many things for family and friends at Christmas time and I have also owned a store and had a till near the main door. I know how cold the air is coming in during December in northern BC. The clerk probably didn't mean to sound ungrateful or impatient-- just thinking how much your gift could mean during a very busy time. She must admire your work to ask for a pair of your special gloves, take it as a compliment that she can't wait for them.


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## linzers (May 17, 2012)

I had to think about this for a while. I didn't read what everyone else thought yet, but I will. I think the answer is, "Yes, she is knitworthy, in part b/c that is what your initial gut instinct was. Not everyone has a heart as big as yours, and I do feel her "neediness". 
A number of things ran through my mind..and this one is terrible, Christmas deadline, was she planning on re-gifting? She clearly couldn't have foreseen how that comment would make you feel. Sometimes people say things they wish they could take back the minute they hear their own words. A number of years ago a very lovely women I worked with, who I didn't know very well, admired a cowl I was wearing. She was thrilled when I offered to make her one. I asked her if she would like to pick out her own yarn, this way she could be sure she liked the color etc. She said she wanted red, and that I should pick it. (and I guess, pay for it) Well, I bought the yarn, knitted the cowl, and had it ready for her in time for her winter birthday. Her face fell when she saw it, she barely thanked me, and I never saw her wear it. I will never know why she was so disappointed....mine was green, but really,she asked for red. 
I would knit these gloves for her at my convenience, and feel good knowing that I had done a good thing.


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## ann44 (Oct 14, 2011)

She may just have been emphasising how delighted she would be to have such a lovely gift. Keen anticipation?


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## Lills (Oct 26, 2012)

Imho. Have you got a spare pair? Give them to her now. She will be thrilled. You may feel smug!!

No spare pair? Knit some for her when you can. She SHOULD be thrilled. You may feel relieved and satisfied.

You know how some people have 'an unfortunate manner'? (I'm famous for opening my mouth to change feet!) Don't let her manner throw you off kilter and change your truly generous nature. God bless


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## GenevaR (May 16, 2012)

Yarnstars, I can not make children pay for the ignorance of parents and if one child has a blanket, my other grandchildren get on too and I can find other ways to let the parents know of their inconsiderations.


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## m_azingrace (Mar 14, 2012)

Maybe she was attempting to be funny? If she really cannot wait, she can cut the fingers off any old pair of gloves.


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## mernie (Mar 20, 2011)

SueLD said:


> Well Amy...here it is, you have today at this time 14 pages of responses to your question "knit worthy or not". You now have not only opinions of how to deal with your dilemma but a look at each person's way of thinking. You know this woman best than any of us as you've evidently chatted with her before when visiting Jo Ann's. I trust after the shock of her remark and hopefully have gotten through the hurt and sad from her remark, and that given the time to think more about this, you know what you believe you will/want/should handle this. I used to live in a town where everyone knows about every one so I understand the socializing situation. I personally would not spend a lot of time debating this in my mind. I'm sure you can handle this graciously as it is the kind of woman you are. You know better than any of us.


Excellent Reply!


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## knittingdragon (Jun 15, 2012)

Reading the posts for this topic, I am really surprised. This woman says she is cold serving at the counter. Doesn't she own any warm clothes? Taking responsibility for one's own health is the most important thing and I would think that living in the area and working in the area, she would know what the climate is like. So.... dress for it! The fact that the knitter is offering to make some stuff for this assistant has nothing to do (really) with the fact that there is discussion about one's family whenever she goes into the shop - it has to do with the kindness in the heart of the knitter deciding to make the items for her. Okay, it's nice to have someone in a shop remember past conversations, but this doesn't make her any more important than members of one's family. I would put her name on the list (as I mentioned before) and make them when her turn comes around. Christmas happens on December 25th but I'd bet my bottom dollar that the cold weather is going to extend waaaay beyond that date. The assistant should be really grateful for the fact that she is going to get the items - albeit after Christmas.


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## ginnyinnr (May 20, 2012)

Sedona said:


> This is a very interesting question Amy asked, and there's been an amazing amount of comments. We are all different and while I don't agree with all the responses - I do respect everyone's point of view. I don't know what's happened in each of your lives to bring such a variety of responses, but I'm thankful for the differences - otherwise it would be a very boring world. Also thankful for the common bond of knitting/crocheting we all share - you're all wonderful! Happy knitting
> 
> Today will never come again.
> Be a blessing.
> ...


And when you are wounded yourself?


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## margaret15 (Oct 7, 2012)

These are all give away's plus others I cannot post, I don't take payment I just ask they give a donation to charity x


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## margaret15 (Oct 7, 2012)

These are all give away's plus others I cannot post, I don't take payment I just ask they give a donation to charity x the 18" dolls clothes are for my GD,s Christmas box xx


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## knitwitconnie (Jan 3, 2012)

margaret15 said:


> These are all give away's plus others I cannot post, I don't take payment I just ask they give a donation to charity x


Do you have any patterns for a Cabbage Patch doll? Regular sized? I need to find a sweater and skirt and sox. Just curious. I'll also check Ravelry.


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## knitwitconnie (Jan 3, 2012)

I bet the woman didn't realize you are not going to charge her and made the comment thinking she would thus pay you? I guess I like the comment, "If I have time before Christmas I'll make them then. If not, it will be after." Or "I just won't have time this winter. Too many projects planned. Sorry." Might be a way of saying no. 
However if you enjoy making them as something to keep you busy, and... it still gives you pleasure, then go for it. I don't think most people realize the time commitment if they don't do craft work.


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## qxerox (Feb 20, 2012)

I think it was a deal breaker when she tried to set your schedule--my time is just too valuable to have someone dictate when something should be done


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## ginnyinnr (May 20, 2012)

qxerox said:


> I think it was a deal breaker when she tried to set your schedule--my time is just too valuable to have someone dictate when something should be done


well said. Again, don't promise, just surprise on your own time.


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## margaret15 (Oct 7, 2012)

Try stickatillbarbie,they have for brats and another type but cannot remember which one it is


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## maggie68 (Apr 28, 2012)

Everyone is entitled to their own views,and opinions,, it would be a boring world if we all agreed,, and this has been an interesting topic,,, HAPPY KNITTING KNITTERHOLICS,,,,,


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## morningstar (Mar 24, 2012)

mernie said:


> If she works in a yarn store, shouldn't she understand that knitting isn't at all similar to making cookies? I would not give it a single thought. Make the gloves, only when and if you feel like it. She had a lot of (insert adjective) asking you for them?


Knowing how to knit or crochet is not a requirement for those working in Jo-Ann's and other large craft stores. She may be clueless about time, effort and cost.


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## Elin (Sep 17, 2011)

She really has some nerve! If her hands are that cold, why hasn't she bought a pair of fingerless gloves?


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## Dowager (Jun 7, 2011)

By the way, there is a 2 Hr. Fingerless Gloves pattern that I have made. Took me more than 2 hours, but I was new to knitting and slow when I made them.

http://www.allfreeknitting.com/master_images/AllFreeKnitting/new-two-hour-fingerless-gloves.pdf


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## SueLD (Jun 22, 2012)

:thumbup: Nice=thanks


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## peachy51 (Feb 9, 2012)

Dowager said:


> By the way, there is a 2 Hr. Fingerless Gloves pattern that I have made. Took me more than 2 hours, but I was new to knitting and slow when I made them.
> 
> http://www.allfreeknitting.com/master_images/AllFreeKnitting/new-two-hour-fingerless-gloves.pdf


Those are quite similar to the pattern I used for my granddaughters, but my pattern comes down onto the fingers a little more. I made a pair of them one evening/night. http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/easy-peasy-fingerless-mitts

Amy, this thread reminds me of something I have been saying for 40 years: "I get myself into more trouble trying to be nice/assist/help/etc." :|


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## felicityjane (Oct 20, 2012)

make them for her anyway, it wont hurt you , it will please her and in my job i often dealt with tetchy people by being so helpful and polite that they warm to me and sometimes apologise becoming chatty and friendly.Some people dont communicate well either or have strange personality quirks , give her the benefit of the doubt but dont begrudge doing it or its not worth zilch happy knitting with warmest regards felicity


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## cheecat (Dec 30, 2011)

Although her response seemed inappropriate, perhaps she didn't mean it to be interpreted as it sounded. Maybe she was just so excited by your generous offer that she couldn't imagine having to wait to recieve it. Perhaps no-one has ever offered such an act of kindness toward her and she felt if she had to wait a long time, you might forget about the offer. Maybe I'm just a silly opptomist but I'm trying to shed a positive angle on this. In any case it is a wonderful gesture on your part and I'm sure she'll be thrilled with her gift whenever you present to her


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## DorothyLWM (May 8, 2011)

MelissaC said:


> That was pretty rude of her. And now that you've said you'd make them you're kinda stuck. But the others are right. She should have to wait. If you finish everything ahead of time and have time and desire to make hers before Christmas that's up to you. I hope she appreciates them!


I agree it was rude - I disagree you are stuck. When you see her again, suggest that since you just won't have time before Christmas, that she go buy a cheap pair of knit gloves, cut the fingertips out of them, and seal the ends of each finger with nail polish or fray check.

That's what high school band members did when they marched in parades when it was cold. She can take care of her problem herself. Who made her the queen?

Sorry....I'm just tired of people who think others owe them Anything, except for maybe a bit of common courtesy, which you did not get from her.


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## oldiesister (Jun 20, 2011)

Yes she is knitworthy cause this is probably the reply that I would have come back to you with if I had been her,,,,, but it would have been tongue in cheek and really not ever expecting you to do it. From what you said about her she is a caring person and was just being "funny". I am sure she understands about knitting and I am sure that she did not intend to offend you in any way. Knit them for her when YOU are ready to do so and even if it is not til Christmas 2013 I am sure she will be delighted that you are so thoughtful and have spent the time and effort.


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## Pattyhayw (May 29, 2011)

I haven't read through all 16 pages of replies, but I think I'm about to make a comment that will put me in the minority. I really don't think she said anything wrong. You said she was freezing working a register by the door wearing a winter vest. She will probably be freezing from now until Christmas (working extended hours, no doubt). I think she was probably hoping to have something to keep her warm now and not have to wait until after Christmas. If it were me and I already mentioned I would make something for her, I would try to get it to her as quickly as possible and not make her wait a month or more, but that's just me. I don't think she was expecting anything--you offered. What she expressed was disappointment. You made a beautiful gesture, don't ruin it by trying to decide if she is "knitworthy" or not. Make her the gloves so she has something to keep her warm through the Christmas season. Your kind gesture will come back to you over and over and over (not that that's the reason we do kind things!)


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## Ann DeGray (May 11, 2011)

AmyKnits said:


> I need a little help deciding about this one.... she has me stumped. I think most of you know by now that I knit for my OWN enjoyment and the enjoyment of making people soemthing they will love and enjoy. From the heirloom christening blanket that has been used twice in the year since I made it.... to the "crazy mohawk" hat I made for my little 10-year old fashionista.... I will never sell anything I have made, but go out of my way to knit something as a "thank you" or show of appreciation. My latest was a cabled scarf I sent to the wonderful man on Etsy who made my yarn bowls I have enjoyed so much. The BEST part was the thank you note he sent.... apparently he has severe asthma and starting in the fall always wears a scarf to cover his face if it is windy. He says he has quite a collection and was happy to add mine to it.
> 
> Here is my problem. I shop for yarn at Joann's quite often. The woman who waited on me yesterday took the time to ask me about my son who is away at college in Alabama. She remembered from our conversations that he goes to school there and asked specifically how he was adjusting and getting along. (yes, yes, yes I am very chatty and much to my children's dismay... most people within a ten mile radius know every detail of my life!) LOL
> 
> ...


Oh no. Her reply is reason enough not to knit anything for her. Is she always so rude? I wouldn't think so, otherwise you would never have even considered making the gloives. Was she trying to be funny? If so I'd tell her not to quit her day job and suggest she leave that type of humor to Ellen Degenerous who can pull it off.

I know you enjoy showing your thanks with your knitting needles and that's very nice of you.....but you must not feel obligated to spend your time on someone who obviously doesn't understand the thought and effort that you put into your knitting.

I don't think you'd have to look far to find someone more deserving. And if she ever has the nerve to bring up the subject try to look very weary (and that's hard for you because you're very pretty, but TRY)...sigh, wipe your brow, perhaps massage your hands and say, "Oh, I'm afraid I've overdone it, my doctor is very concerned."

And that is not a lie.I don't believe in lying.

I do, however, believe in the half-truth and surely your doctor is very concerned.....about all of his patients, his family, whether or not he should change his sox, world peace...oh yes, your doctor has many concerns. As do we all.

Keep those needles flying but you are allowed to choose the recipients of your talent and generosity.


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## msdotsy1 (Oct 17, 2012)

GenevaR said:


> I am a knitter and knit many things for family and friends at Christmas time and I have also owned a store and had a till near the main door. I know how cold the air is coming in during December in northern BC. The clerk probably didn't mean to sound ungrateful or impatient-- just thinking how much your gift could mean during a very busy time. She must admire your work to ask for a pair of your special gloves, take it as a compliment that she can't wait for them.


I tend to agree with this. She was probably more anxious to get it yesterday considering the elements she works in.
:XD:


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## taborhills (Sep 8, 2012)

:thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## oldiesister (Jun 20, 2011)

Agree wholeheartedly to this one.... well said


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## krestiekrew (Aug 24, 2012)

Gerslay said:


> I'd make them for her right away as a wonderful surprise BEFORE Christmas. She surprises you by remembering who you are and knows pertinent information about your son. This is a relationship...a small one but meaningful nonetheless.
> 
> You know she's freezing standing at the register by the cold doors and that she could really use them and you know how much she would love them.
> 
> ...


.....well, I might not make them 'tonight' but AmyKnits, obviously you are admired by this lady and chances are she didn't mean to be rude...I tend to agree with Gerslay on this... and she may not have family, you don't know the other persons situation until you have been in their shoes. I know this threw you for a loop and sounded 'not right' to you but ... you will do the right thing for you.


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

Very nice post, Sedona.


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## emmatonoose (Nov 26, 2012)

When you finish them and are presenting them to her- After you finish your others, remind her "good things come to those who wait" with a smile- How could she ever be ungrateful???


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## Pam in LR (Feb 16, 2012)

Maybe you could knit a pair for whoever operates that cash register right away, then knit her pair after xmas. It will be cold for quite a long while after xmas, won't it?


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## DorothyLWM (May 8, 2011)

Our clogging group used to got to nursing homes pretty regularly to perform for the residents, and then visit with them after the show.

One resident asked me if I knit, and when I said I did, she asked me if I'd finish a black shawl, with sequins, for her, as her eyes were getting too old to see the black very well. No one sees black yarn very well, but I couldn't say no. @@ 

There was some reason she wanted my phone number, to let me know if she found more sequins or something like that because she wasn't sure she had enough, and I Stupidly gave it to her.

I told her I couldn't promise when it would be done, as I was working a full time job, a part time job, raising 4 children, and had my involvement with church and the clogging group.

In about two weeks, she called to see how it was coming along, and then in another week, and another--nagging me for this free favor, because SHE had all the time in the world to think about it. After the third nagging call, saying things like "it shouldn't take all that long" @@, I took the yarn back to her and told her I just didn't have the time to get it done when she wanted it. Then it was, "oh, there's really no hurry..." I didn't ask her why, then, had she nagged me so rudely. 

Personally, I don't think you should Ever ask that kind of favor from anyone but CLOSE family or friends and you sure shouldn't have the nerve to nag them to hurry up with it. 

You might get the whole mess dumped back in your lap. 
;-)


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## sam0767 (Jun 20, 2012)

NY Hummer said:


> hi
> well, if I had that experience, I guess it would show me that I need to be more cautious of what I say!!!
> Not pointing fingers -because I get myself into situations similar to yours!
> I often over-extend myself trying to please everyone......when we all know......that can't happen!
> ...


One of the guys I do direct care for asked me for a hat and slippers. He loves seeing what I bring to work all the time to knit. I told him yesterday when he gave me the suggetion for him for Christmas that I would talk to Mrs. Claus for him and put in a good word for him. I am sure she will listen but he has to be a good boy between now and Christmas to get his request. He is in his 30's and not mentally challenged at all. Just physically handicapped. He laughed at me.


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## DorothyLWM (May 8, 2011)

ginnyinnr said:


> qxerox said:
> 
> 
> > I think it was a deal breaker when she tried to set your schedule--my time is just too valuable to have someone dictate when something should be done
> ...


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## sam0767 (Jun 20, 2012)

GenevaR said:


> I am a knitter and knit many things for family and friends at Christmas time and I have also owned a store and had a till near the main door. I know how cold the air is coming in during December in northern BC. The clerk probably didn't mean to sound ungrateful or impatient-- just thinking how much your gift could mean during a very busy time. She must admire your work to ask for a pair of your special gloves, take it as a compliment that she can't wait for them.


 :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## sam0767 (Jun 20, 2012)

knitwitconnie said:


> margaret15 said:
> 
> 
> > These are all give away's plus others I cannot post, I don't take payment I just ask they give a donation to charity x
> ...


OMGosh!!!!!! I was just telling my 3 year old GD today that I am going to have to find some patterns for her dolls I bought her at a yard sale this summer. All Cabage Patch dolls. I started looking on line for some free patterns but got distracted. Wow!!!!!!! If you find any let me know. I will do the same.


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## nankat (Oct 17, 2012)

lots of doll patterns on Ravelry


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## jobailey (Dec 22, 2011)

I think she wants them ASAP because she is by the door and her fingers are cold. I think she does not make very much money and does not understand that she came off a little rude. I don't think she meant to be rude. 

She probably really needs them, more than anyone one else that you are going to knit for. There is an old saying, WWJCD?


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## ginnyinnr (May 20, 2012)

Amy knows her, none of us do. So really, when it comes right down to it, Amy's first reaction is what this is all about. When something like this happens to me, I feel inside, like I got punched in the stomach. Not wanting to misjudge the woman, she asked our forum. But none of us can feel like she felt.

SO, Amy, its up to you!


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## alexis kuppersmith (Apr 7, 2011)

her response should have been 'that would be wonderful'. i have had the same feelings as you, but i have kept my word and delivered when i said i would. hope your son is adjusting well at alabama, my nephew is having alittle trouble finding his way and wants to come home.... roll tide


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## MsJackie (Nov 22, 2011)

Wow! You offered to make something special for a near stranger, and she want's it yesterday? You said you knot for yourself and those who appreciate it. Clearly she does not. That makes her NOT "knitworthy" in my book. 

And, btw, love the way you put that. A Seinfeld reference? :lol:


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## MsJackie (Nov 22, 2011)

knittingdragon said:


> Reading the posts for this topic, I am really surprised. This woman says she is cold serving at the counter. Doesn't she own any warm clothes? Taking responsibility for one's own health is the most important thing and I would think that living in the area and working in the area, she would know what the climate is like. So.... dress for it! The fact that the knitter is offering to make some stuff for this assistant has nothing to do (really) with the fact that there is discussion about one's family whenever she goes into the shop - it has to do with the kindness in the heart of the knitter deciding to make the items for her. Okay, it's nice to have someone in a shop remember past conversations, but this doesn't make her any more important than members of one's family. I would put her name on the list (as I mentioned before) and make them when her turn comes around. Christmas happens on December 25th but I'd bet my bottom dollar that the cold weather is going to extend waaaay beyond that date. The assistant should be really grateful for the fact that she is going to get the items - albeit after Christmas.


I kind of agree. A couple people at work saw my hand warmers and scarves, and asked for some too. I told them all that it would have to be after Christmas. I am having trouble getting through my family's gifts, I simply can't do anything else till they are done. It's your time, you know what you can do and what you can't do.


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## knittingdragon (Jun 15, 2012)

MsJackie said:


> knittingdragon said:
> 
> 
> > Reading the posts for this topic, I am really surprised. This woman says she is cold serving at the counter. Doesn't she own any warm clothes? Taking responsibility for one's own health is the most important thing and I would think that living in the area and working in the area, she would know what the climate is like. So.... dress for it! The fact that the knitter is offering to make some stuff for this assistant has nothing to do (really) with the fact that there is discussion about one's family whenever she goes into the shop - it has to do with the kindness in the heart of the knitter deciding to make the items for her. Okay, it's nice to have someone in a shop remember past conversations, but this doesn't make her any more important than members of one's family. I would put her name on the list (as I mentioned before) and make them when her turn comes around. Christmas happens on December 25th but I'd bet my bottom dollar that the cold weather is going to extend waaaay beyond that date. The assistant should be really grateful for the fact that she is going to get the items - albeit after Christmas.
> ...


I think they should be grateful even if they don't get them till next Christmas. Surely it isn't that expensive to go out and buy a pair to use in the meantime.


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## LunaDragon (Sep 8, 2012)

I do realize many do not know how to sew, knit or crochet, but there are always different ideas and many are no sew, knitting or crochet involved. Polar fleece does not take much and cold easily be made into some mitts with out sewing just cut a few slits and lace up. Very warm. My sister does stuff like that all the time. Her favorite skirt as a teen was a piece of stretch knit pinned on, every one always loved it and asked where she got it!


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## CraftyKate (Feb 29, 2012)

How ungrateful. If she was joking that's one thing but to actually feel entitled to insist on when she should received a gift, especially when she asked for it and doesn't offer to either pay for or pay for the materials. How rude!!
I'd either go to another register or go when she's not working. 

Too many people feel entitled as it is. Does she give you special considerations, or special buys or save specials just for you? If she is simply doing her job and also likes to chit chat too bad.


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## CraftyKate (Feb 29, 2012)

By the way she is working,,, that is a lot more than a lot of people can say a dollar store pair of gloves and cut off the fingers.


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## audlox (Jul 11, 2012)

Set your sails elsewhere.She may be chatty, but that is in response to your being friendly. She sounds like she has a big case of entitlement, just because you are familiar person to her.She does not appear to fit your profile of recipients.
You are kind and generous. Your talents and graciousness will be better appreciated elsewhere. as you intend them to be.
Cheering you on as you reposition your sails...
Your friend, 
audlox

P.S. I am sure others will also agree !


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## Rosalind (Jul 20, 2011)

What is she doing working in a yarn shop if she can't knit! At the craft warehouse where I work all the staff have to be able to do something involving the products we sell.


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## suetf (Nov 21, 2012)

On the subject of fingerless gloves - may I ask a question please.
You obviously have a really nice pattern. In South Africa we don't really have a winter, but my daughter and family are in New Zealand where it gets really cold. Does your pattern have short fingers or does it stop just above the palm? I have always felt that the latter would tend to slip up for busy hands and the short fingers would hold them on. 

May the Lord bless you generous spirit and keep your needles clicking - there is no doubt you make a lot of people very happy. My take is that your lady probably felt you would not have time before Christmas because you would be so busy knitting for the family xxx


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## Silver Threads (Aug 24, 2012)

suetf said:


> On the subject of fingerless gloves - may I ask a question please.
> You obviously have a really nice pattern. In South Africa we don't really have a winter, but my daughter and family are in New Zealand where it gets really cold. Does your pattern have short fingers or does it stop just above the palm? I have always felt that the latter would tend to slip up for busy hands and the short fingers would hold them on.
> 
> May the Lord bless you generous spirit and keep your needles clicking - there is no doubt you make a lot of people very happy. My take is that your lady probably felt you would not have time before Christmas because you would be so busy knitting for the family xxx


Here is an easy pattern Sue

http://www.purlbee.com/ribbed-hand-warmers/

There are others on the purlbee site that maybe more suitable.


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## loveyarn (Jun 8, 2011)

deebeefromnc said:


> Awww...Just assume that she was joking about 'after Christmas' and make 'em and give them to her asap...make her day...after all, she made yours by asking about your son! I find any excuse I can to knit for others!! Let us know how it goes...


I have to agree with deebeefromnc. Maybe she didn't mean it the way it sounded. I'm a Bama fan tell your son Roll Tide.


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## Palenque1978 (Feb 16, 2011)

knittingdragon said:


> MsJackie said:
> 
> 
> > knittingdragon said:
> ...


I agree with everything you have said, which you stated perfectly.

I've loved ones (relatives and dear friends) that have waited for their knits without a wimper. They may get their winter socks in spring, yet they are appreciative not upset when they receive them. AND, family does come first.

The clerk is NOT knit worthy.


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

I can't let that be the last word on this. I disagree wholeheartedly. I think the clerk is being judged on one response, while she was working, during a busy time.

First, she didn't ask for anything. It was offered.

Second, we didn't hear her. She may not have meant to be nasty. AFter all, someone was offering her a gift. Why would she be nasty about it? Had she ever asked for a gift? Is she in general selfish to her customers?

Third, If this woman has been nice every other time, going out of her way to ask about Amy's family and remembering what AMy has told her in the past, why would she suddenly be this ogre that everyone is describing? Many of the comments about her, made by people who never met her and are disregarding the nice things Amy said about her, are far meaner than what the woman said.

She sounds like a nice person who puts friendship into her job and makes her customers feel happy. To take this one sentence and judge her is very uncharitable. We have to give people the benefit of the doubt,especially to one who has always been so nice. Dealing with the public is a difficult job, and she obviously does her best to make each small interaction pleasant. She probably loves customers like Amy because they make her job enjoyable.

I can't read any more of these because they're making me feel bad for this poor misunderstood woman who is doing her job with kindness. Amy, I hope you won't let this take the joy out of your giving nature. I hope you make the lady the gloves when you have time. I'm sure she'll be grateful, whenever you give them to her. It seems she likes you for yourself, not for what you give her. 

And if by chance she is the selfish nasty person people think she is, maybe it will soften her heart and sweeten her nature. Either way, you - Amy - will have once again done something nice for someone else.


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## taborhills (Sep 8, 2012)

:thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## donmaur (Mar 4, 2012)

make her wait but really dont do it at all and this time if you do charge her an arm and a leg


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## taborhills (Sep 8, 2012)

donmaur said:


> make her wait but really dont do it at all and this time if you do charge her an arm and a leg


You are pulling our legs.


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## Mercury (Apr 12, 2012)

I would not make a fuss over this, Just knit them when you can and I am certain she will be happy to receive them when they are finished. Remember the Christmas spirit! Don't try to second guess her because everyone might just be off base. Don't assume what she said. Be happy that she thought eenough of your work that she wanted a pair. Merry Christmas!


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## djones5252 (May 6, 2011)

Well, I have not read through all 19 pages of responses (so far), but my first instinct is to ignore the comment. It doesn't sound like she was "joking" to me, but almost like she had laid the foundation to coerce you into offering, and once you did, she wanted to push farther. Since you are so open (and, I am as well....if you were my FB friend you would know my whole life - LOL!) she knows if she appealed to you that "her hands were cold", you would more than likely offer to make them for her, which you did. 

I would wait until after Christmas, and since you did offer, make them for her. You can judge from her reaction upon receiving them if she is truly knit worthy. 

You are such a kind, giving person. Sometimes people sense that and intend to take advantage, I'm afraid. I would just put her and the gloves out of my mind until after Christmas. You are a gem!


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## Gerslay (Oct 4, 2011)

It doesn't count if we only love the young, the sweet, the well-mannered among us...the real deal is to love the poorly-mannered bitter old crabs! 

Not that its easy.....


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## linzers (May 17, 2012)

Silver Threads said:


> suetf said:
> 
> 
> > On the subject of fingerless gloves - may I ask a question please.
> ...


Do you think these can be done on circular needles with a short cable?


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## peachy51 (Feb 9, 2012)

linzers said:


> Silver Threads said:
> 
> 
> > suetf said:
> ...


I do mine with Magic Loop. I'm not sure if there is a short enough cable to do them in circular and you would have to go to dpn's for the thumb. With Magic Loop, I can do the whole thing.


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## linzers (May 17, 2012)

peachy51 said:


> linzers said:
> 
> 
> > Silver Threads said:
> ...


Thanks. I will have to look for a youtube magic loop video. I guess it is time to learn this technique. I can work with double pointed needles, but don't like to. My knitting goal this past year has been to try to learn a new technique with each project, so this is fitting. I do love these handwarmers! As a matter of fact, I like a lot of the patterns on Purlbee. 
Suetf in South Africa, could you imagine them in a fingering or lace wt cotton, with a larger needle for cool evenings?


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## arwenian (Aug 15, 2011)

I don't know that she was being rude, perhaps a little pushy. That being said, being pushy or arrogant tends to push me off course. I would work it in when you can, winter is a long time, even in the South. I'm sure she will appreciate them when ever she gets them. Her remark probably was initiated by being cold that day.


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## Cinny60 (Nov 16, 2012)

Right off that was so rude of her to say anything. At that point i think I would want not to make her any. But I am like you I love to make things for people but do like a little apprencation. I would tell her that if she relaly wants a pair then after Christmas is the soonest you can get to them. If she still complains then just dont make them for her.


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## justfara (Sep 9, 2011)

Just my two cents, I am a healer. I never sell, and I gift almost everything I make. The minute someone attempts to "force" my creativity, something strange happens. A few years ago, a friend insisted on changing my yarn choice, and her scarf never got past 2 inches. I infuse Reiki in everything I make, and the yarns sort of choose themselves for everything. I try to use that to justify that for my large stash. In any case, I use emotion for all choices and it serves well. 

As an alternative, for Christmas, if you are inclined, a little hand note with a "coming soon"


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## taborhills (Sep 8, 2012)

What does it mean to the world as a whole "if we only love the young, the sweet, the well-mannered among us"? Do people have to live up to some standard before we treat them well? That would easy, only loving those who are easy to love! 

On the other hand, how do we ourselves change if we let go of the judging? And who else benefits, too, of we step outside the box?


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## Gram47 (Sep 7, 2012)

Dear Amy, you are too good. Wait until you have the time and energy. She will be very appreciative. Have a happy holiday!


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## she_d_1 (Nov 9, 2011)

Your post disturbed me so much I searched to find it to read again. I think her attitude was dreadful and I wonder if you could get any enjoyment from knitting and gifting them to her.

I would reserve my gifts for those with a more appreciative outlook.


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## fontmomma (Apr 19, 2011)

I tell everyone to "take a number" Even Hubby wants things in a hurry which leaves me little time for "me time". I have things to make for others, too . I think he has gotten the message.
Rude--no you're just one person


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## sandytene (Mar 1, 2011)

My mother always told me "If they're not embarrassed to ask, you shouldn't be embarrassed to say no". Make the gloves for her IF AND WHEN you are ready. If she asks about them in the future, just say you haven't had the time. PS, this is what we call Chutzpah!!


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## felicityjane (Oct 20, 2012)

i agree i was sad to read the negative unchristian remarks on here she may also just have been pulling her leg well done to you for your positive outlook it cheered me up regards felicity


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## felicityjane (Oct 20, 2012)

hip hip hooray my faith in human nature almost restored well done for this reply and the other similar ones


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## knittingdragon (Jun 15, 2012)

bonbf3 said:


> I can't let that be the last word on this. I disagree wholeheartedly. I think the clerk is being judged on one response, while she was working, during a busy time.
> 
> First, she didn't ask for anything. It was offered.
> 
> ...


The tone of voice must have been questionable or Amy wouldn't have felt the need to put her vent on this site - there would have been no need to vent at all. When Amy offered to knit for her and said "after Christmas" the shop assistant's response should have been something along the lines of "Oh, thankyou. That would be lovely and much appreciated. Something nice to look forward to". Instead her response and tone of voice obviously upset Amy and I can relate to her venting to see if others felt that the assistant was being a bit over the top, especially "demanding" her "gift" before Christmas.


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## purplelady (Aug 23, 2012)

Were you able to get them made,
AMY, as you mentioned some time back?
I hope so. You work fast.
I htink that will stop the 2 extremes going on for so long.
Good on you for your giving spirit.


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## LanaG (Feb 15, 2011)

If a person offered to make me something homemade I would be SO THRILLED!!! I would be so appreciative because I know how long it takes to create a gift. And to think someone would like to make it for ME! I wouldn't care when I received it - I would just be so thankful!! There are givers and there are receivers and there are just rude users!


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## lovecrafts (Oct 20, 2012)

I'm a little surprised. My opinion is that in the spirit of the season, that you might want to make her a pair. She takes the time to remember your craft projects and your son in school. Maybe she has no one else to make her these fingerless gloves. Maybe you are one of the few kind people she sees on a regular basis. 

I say you should make them. You will get a blessing.

If you have the store address and clerk name, then I'll make her some and send to her.

It's understood that family comes first, but maybe this woman does not have anyone who can make her things. Maybe she lost a loved one who used to make her things.

I say make the gloves. Happy Holidays, remembering the reason for the season. Respectfully submitted


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## glenda c (Oct 8, 2012)

Hi amyknits. I am the same as you. I knit for fun and relaxation and find it hard to say no to anyone. People offer to pay but I find that once money is involved the pleasure goes away and stress moves in. If someone asks or I offer to make something for someone they will have to wait until I can do it. They are lucky you are kind enough to even want to make them something. If they can't wait then they can buy something.


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

Gerslay said:


> It doesn't count if we only love the young, the sweet, the well-mannered among us...the real deal is to love the poorly-mannered bitter old crabs!
> 
> Not that its easy.....


  :-D :thumbup:


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

taborhills said:


> What does it mean to the world as a whole "if we only love the young, the sweet, the well-mannered among us"? Do people have to live up to some standard before we treat them well? That would easy, only loving those who are easy to love!
> 
> On the other hand, how do we ourselves change if we let go of the judging? And who else benefits, too, of we step outside the box?


Profound. I agree.


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

taborhills said:


> What does it mean to the world as a whole "if we only love the young, the sweet, the well-mannered among us"? Do people have to live up to some standard before we treat them well? That would easy, only loving those who are easy to love!
> 
> On the other hand, how do we ourselves change if we let go of the judging? And who else benefits, too, of we step outside the box?


That is beautiful.


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

knittingdragon said:


> bonbf3 said:
> 
> 
> > I can't let that be the last word on this. I disagree wholeheartedly. I think the clerk is being judged on one response, while she was working, during a busy time.
> ...


I also can relate to Amy's venting. I do it a lot, too - more than I should. She wanted to know if others felt that the assistant was being a bit over the top, and I wanted to give the assistant the benefit of the doubt, for a number of reasons. I got the impression that the woman was very nice and made a comment that was out of character. If so, I'd treat her with kindness by forgetting it ever happened. Just my opinion. I know that some agree and some disagree.


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

LanaG said:


> If a person offered to make me something homemade I would be SO THRILLED!!! I would be so appreciative because I know how long it takes to create a gift. And to think someone would like to make it for ME! I wouldn't care when I received it - I would just be so thankful!! There are givers and there are receivers and there are just rude users!


Not everyone is as nice as you are.


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## purplelady (Aug 23, 2012)

I don't think we can assume crabs are OLD.
and if they are, maybe they can have the benefit of a doubt also??
THey may have many 'worn out parts' that give pain, and /or ailments that are hard to deal with.
not a nice statement.


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## margaret15 (Oct 7, 2012)

I'm not following this link anymore, I agree with bonbf3 ,
20 pages of this is driving me nuts, I'm soft I will knit at the drop of a hat if some wants something, because it gives me pleasure , and I'm thrilled people like my work enough to want it, as I mentioned before I love making dolls clothes nd don't take money for them, but ask for them to put a donation into a charity box,


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## AmyKnits (Aug 20, 2011)

Here are the gloves I made for her.... I will let you know what her reaction is when I give them to her. I understand those of you who said to "forget it and don't knit anything for her" AND I understand those who said to "give her the benefit of the doubt". That is precisely why I reached out to all of you.... I was torn. 

I also have to admit that I am not overly excited about giving them to her. I don't think she is at all the type of person to get very excited or emotional.... but I kept my word and that means a lot to me. 

Will I offer to make a "stranger" something knitted again.... I probably shouldn't, but I probably will. Thank you all for your advice, support and understanding.


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## Gerslay (Oct 4, 2011)

Purplelady...I agree, not all crabs are old. I for one like old crabs though and think that they have paid their dues and are entitled to an occasional grumpiness!


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## justfara (Sep 9, 2011)

They are so lovely! You truly are a gem.


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## peachy51 (Feb 9, 2012)

Amy, they look wonderful. And, you know what? Irregardless of what her reaction is, you know in your heart you did a good thing ... and God knows that too.

The next time you want to make something for someone, don't tell them ahead of time ... just surprise them with it when you have finished it! Viola! No more problems :thumbup:


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

purplelady said:


> I don't think we can assume crabs are OLD.
> and if they are, maybe they can have the benefit of a doubt also??
> THey may have many 'worn out parts' that give pain, and /or ailments that are hard to deal with.
> not a nice statement.


Thanks from an old something - I hope not a crab - but sometimes crabby!


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## margaret15 (Oct 7, 2012)

You have made my heart leap with joy, you are the kindest person I know on here ,apart from myself lol, 2 peas in a pod you and I, lol . I hope and pray she will be pleased and if she does offer payment, do what I do, say please put a donation into the charity box, then it's up to her conscious as to wether she does,but you know you have done your bit for charity . Love you knitting sis for been such a kind and given person   :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

margaret15 said:


> I'm not following this link anymore, I agree with bonbf3 ,
> 20 pages of this is driving me nuts, I'm soft I will knit at the drop of a hat if some wants something, because it gives me pleasure , and I'm thrilled people like my work enough to want it, as I mentioned before I love making dolls clothes nd don't take money for them, but ask for them to put a donation into a charity box,


That's very nice of you. Glad you agreed with me - thank you. By the way, my sister's name is Margaret. I love your name.


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

I'm so glad you did that! They look so warm and comfy. I'm sure she will love them, and I hope she lets you know that. I also hope you feel warm and comfy inside for doing such a nice thing when it wasn't that easy - and I hope that someone does something nice for you. Good luck with the presentation! And Merry Christmas!


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## margaret15 (Oct 7, 2012)

I wish there was a like button on here, lol. It's 5.19am here in England andi have been Awake sin 2.30 , the alarm will be going off in 1 hour, but it's been worth not sleeping knowing this topic has now been solved, thank you for keeping me company through the night ladies xx


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## Nanny Mon (May 24, 2011)

Amy 

They are perfect, great colour for a person working, as they won't show the dirt.

I am so pleased you made them, now you can relax and get back to your own family's knitting.

God Bless and happy knitting.

Monica


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## Ann DeGray (May 11, 2011)

AmyKnits said:


> Here are the gloves I made for her.... I will let you know what her reaction is when I give them to her. I understand those of you who said to "forget it and don't knit anything for her" AND I understand those who said to "give her the benefit of the doubt". That is precisely why I reached out to all of you.... I was torn.
> 
> I also have to admit that I am not overly excited about giving them to her. I don't think she is at all the type of person to get very excited or emotional.... but I kept my word and that means a lot to me.
> 
> Will I offer to make a "stranger" something knitted again.... I probably shouldn't, but I probably will. Thank you all for your advice, support and understanding.


You will let us know when you give them to her and what her reaction was, won't you?


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## corvette05 (Nov 17, 2012)

Much good advice. Sometimes even people in the "people business" lack "people skills." If you can get past her less than thoughtful remark, think about the positive remarks she has made and the fact that she remembered you and your family. So few people care about others, that her remembering is huge. I would hazard a guess that she later thought about how her remark came out and felt mortified and embarrassed.


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## taborhills (Sep 8, 2012)

Habits are strong forces in our lives! but with focus and intention and awareness we can change them. "Am I (just) reacting? or (thooughtfully) responding?" Best wishes!


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## christine4321 (Jun 10, 2012)

AmyKnits said:


> I need a little help deciding about this one.... she has me stumped. I think most of you know by now that I knit for my OWN enjoyment and the enjoyment of making people soemthing they will love and enjoy. From the heirloom christening blanket that has been used twice in the year since I made it.... to the "crazy mohawk" hat I made for my little 10-year old fashionista.... I will never sell anything I have made, but go out of my way to knit something as a "thank you" or show of appreciation. My latest was a cabled scarf I sent to the wonderful man on Etsy who made my yarn bowls I have enjoyed so much. The BEST part was the thank you note he sent.... apparently he has severe asthma and starting in the fall always wears a scarf to cover his face if it is windy. He says he has quite a collection and was happy to add mine to it.
> 
> Here is my problem. I shop for yarn at Joann's quite often. The woman who waited on me yesterday took the time to ask me about my son who is away at college in Alabama. She remembered from our conversations that he goes to school there and asked specifically how he was adjusting and getting along. (yes, yes, yes I am very chatty and much to my children's dismay... most people within a ten mile radius know every detail of my life!) LOL
> 
> ...


It could be that she has a dry sense of humor that she may have not shown you before. We reveal only small tiny bits of ourselves at a time with people we have little dealings with and some people may come across as rude when they meant to be funny or "just kidding around"

Being as this lady was inquiring about your son and listening with interest it leads me to believe that she is not a self centered person and may not have known at that precise second how rude her response may have sounded. I don't know her but if she is interested in hearing about others I am guessing that she knows you have a lot of gifts to knit and was "just kidding". She is likely just expressing dry humor about why is isn't important enough on your list to get the gift sooner. If this is the case she understands that anything before Christmas is out of the question.

My daughter can be like this on occasion and I also have a cousin who does this. Anyone who really knows her can relate that she is a very caring person and has a great sense of humor but sometimes things do come out in a way that they weren't meant.

I would knit these gloves for her (after Christmas) and will bet that they are received graciously.


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## christine4321 (Jun 10, 2012)

taznwinston said:


> I am hoping, for this woman's sake, that she was trying to be sarcastically funny. I tend to be like that, saying things with a straight face, and it takes some getting used to by others. I don't mean to be sarcastic, just funny, but it does take people the wrong way sometimes. It is then I must remind myself that these others don't know me so well and they don't realized I'm just joshing them. So perhaps she's being this way and doesn't mean any harm. Let your heart be your guide. When you have time, make them for her, then you can decide when to give them to her.


\

This is what I think happened with this lady at the store. I do hope you knit them Amy.

Sometimes when something like this happens and I say the wrong thing I go home and worry about it. I end up hoping that the person knew I wasn't insulting them or being rude.

After you left she may have been hoping that you knew she was kidding.


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## christine4321 (Jun 10, 2012)

Oh I just read that you did knit them for her.

You sound like a tender hearted person so I thought you may but I wasn't sure.

If you do give them before Christmas I wonder what her response will be or if she apologizes for the comment.


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## taborhills (Sep 8, 2012)

Hurrah for Amy!


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## TraceyMcK (Nov 10, 2012)

AmyKnits said:


> Here are the gloves I made for her.... I will let you know what her reaction is when I give them to her. I understand those of you who said to "forget it and don't knit anything for her" AND I understand those who said to "give her the benefit of the doubt". That is precisely why I reached out to all of you.... I was torn.
> 
> I also have to admit that I am not overly excited about giving them to her. I don't think she is at all the type of person to get very excited or emotional.... but I kept my word and that means a lot to me.
> 
> Will I offer to make a "stranger" something knitted again.... I probably shouldn't, but I probably will. Thank you all for your advice, support and understanding.


Amy, good for you! Not being overly excited is perfectly understandable, but this gives you closure, and maybe she'll surprise you...I hope she does  And you seem like a person who knits for the joy of creating and giving...that comes from inside you and isn't affected by the actions/reactions of others. So keep on offering to make things for strangers. Even if they don't react in a satisfactory manner, I think it will continue to do things for you that have nothing to do with other people.

Knit on


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## margaret15 (Oct 7, 2012)

AMYKNITS ROCKS YEAH


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## Mercury (Apr 12, 2012)

Dear lovecrafts:
I think you have a very good outlook. I feel the same as you do. Give her the benefit of the doubt. Put yourself in her place. You don't know her situation. Maybe she is battling something that this would certainly help. We don't know the other person's plight until you have woaked in their mocassins. Yours is a very Christian attitude which I think should be displayed more often. Merry Christmas.


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## taborhills (Sep 8, 2012)

:thumbup:


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## Beachkc (Aug 24, 2012)

She was probably just excited because of the offer of that gift ad expressed it wrong. I remind myself often the way it is intended may not be the way I TAKE it.


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

taborhills said:


> :thumbup:


Ditto.

:thumbup:


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## she_d_1 (Nov 9, 2011)

You are a far more generous and kind spirited person than I am. I await a report on her attitude when you give her the gloves...hope it is positive.


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## knittingdragon (Jun 15, 2012)

bonbf3 said:


> taborhills said:
> 
> 
> > What does it mean to the world as a whole "if we only love the young, the sweet, the well-mannered among us"? Do people have to live up to some standard before we treat them well? That would easy, only loving those who are easy to love!
> ...


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## christine4321 (Jun 10, 2012)

bonbf3 said:


> cdanzinger said:
> 
> 
> > girls, don't take this wrong but Amy is so sweet and without a doubt she would probably give the shirt off her pretty back for someone. I think it would be easy to take advantage of Amy but am just wondering while there's obvious assertiveness with the cashier, I'm curious if that's her sense of humor.. I could see me joking with someone saying exactly those things but I do know I would laugh and say "just kidden". She obviously needs a pair so what if she's rude, and demanding those are the kind of people I like reaching out to and for.. This is just me girls. Amy, I would sacrifice your generous time in referring to us patterns that are always keepsakes and take that time to do her a pair of gloves. Better yet, I'd love to have your pattern. Blessings to you for sharing with us.Cathy
> ...


I really like the way you think. As a nurse I made it a challenge to make sure I was extra diligent in trying to win over patients with unusually strong harsh personalities. Trying to see things from their perspective helped to make their time just a little bit better.

I came a cross a very grumpy person one day who's procedure was delayed by 4 hours. I endured a bit of verbal abuse and after the person finished complaining I said that I can't do anything about the day that he/she has had but that he/she was here in my department now and I asked " what can I do to make things better for you here now", "what will make you more comfortable"? The response and change in attitude told me that the person was already beginning to relax.

Bonbf3 and cdanzinger, I find it refreshing that you too like to reach out to others.


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

christine4321 said:


> bonbf3 said:
> 
> 
> > cdanzinger said:
> ...


Thank you, Christine 4321! It's nice to be in touch with like-minded people. It makes us feel understood. I appreciate your post and Cathy's, too.


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## taborhills (Sep 8, 2012)

:thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## Sedona (Oct 3, 2011)

Very nicely said! I also believe in being kind & courteous to those who may be rude, demanding and sometimes just plain nasty. If I would respond to their rudeness by being rude back - I would just be acting like they are and I don't like to be treated that way so why would I treat someone else like that? Kindness produces positive and good feelings and can usually defuse a tense situation. Take some time to think of how you respond to a kind remark as opposed to how you respond to someone being negative or nasty to you.


bonbf3 said:


> christine4321 said:
> 
> 
> > bonbf3 said:
> ...


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## christine4321 (Jun 10, 2012)

Sedona as quoted..."Very nicely said! I also believe in being kind & courteous to those who may be rude, demanding and sometimes just plain nasty. If I would respond to their rudeness by being rude back - I would just be acting like they are and I don't like to be treated that way so why would I treat someone else like that? Kindness produces positive and good feelings and can usually defuse a tense situation. Take some time to think of how you respond to a kind remark as opposed to how you respond to someone being negative or nasty to you."






You are right. A couple of good things can happen when we change our response from negative to positive. We can do this without compromising our values. 

First off it hopefully diffuses the aggressor. Secondly I find that when I respond badly I feel bad about myself. If I respond respectfully even if it is to disagree I will feel good about myself, providing I am responding to something that I believe needs to be said. 

I am glad there are many people here that feel the same way.


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## felicityjane (Oct 20, 2012)

very well said all of us must have put our foot in it at least once in our lives we werent there didnt hear and dont know the womans stae of mind that day she may have felt cold and miserable people a bit of charity here please why so angry and bitter about someone you never met? so sad that so many are so negative and one or two nasty


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## felicityjane (Oct 20, 2012)

amy you darling, i am so happy for you because if she didnt mean any offence she and you will be equally pleased and if she was snappy or rude you did not allow that to sour your good spirit.i have worked in a shop for many years i have been sworn at and abused and had things thrown at me but i always retained my dignity and spoke calmy and nicely to those who behaved badly some had mental health issues one or two were drunk and some just really fed up that day and lost control but hand on my heart none of them have ever been rude to me since and a few apologised and twice they came with small gifts and a written apology.we teach by example and what a good one you have set this is not about the lady its about you and who you are very well done and i hope she loves them and i wish you and yours all the best for a wonderful xmas when you give them to her please say "PASS IT ON" If she asks what you mean say to her one good turn deserves another perhaps there is something you are able to do for somebody x x x


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

felicityjane said:


> very well said all of us must have put our foot in it at least once in our lives we werent there didnt hear and dont know the womans stae of mind that day she may have felt cold and miserable people a bit of charity here please why so angry and bitter about someone you never met? so sad that so many are so negative and one or two nasty


 :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## nclavalley (Aug 8, 2012)

did you know the mail carrier could loose his job for accepting your generous gift? it is in their contract NOT to accept ANYTHING, but spoken words of graditude, from customers.


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

nclavalley said:


> did you know the mail carrier could loose his job for accepting your generous gift? it is in their contract NOT to accept ANYTHING, but spoken words of graditude, from customers.


I had no idea.


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

felicityjane said:


> amy you darling, i am so happy for you because if she didnt mean any offence she and you will be equally pleased and if she was snappy or rude you did not allow that to sour your good spirit.i have worked in a shop for many years i have been sworn at and abused and had things thrown at me but i always retained my dignity and spoke calmy and nicely to those who behaved badly some had mental health issues one or two were drunk and some just really fed up that day and lost control but hand on my heart none of them have ever been rude to me since and a few apologised and twice they came with small gifts and a written apology.we teach by example and what a good one you have set this is not about the lady its about you and who you are very well done and i hope she loves them and i wish you and yours all the best for a wonderful xmas when you give them to her please say "PASS IT ON" If she asks what you mean say to her one good turn deserves another perhaps there is something you are able to do for somebody x x x


What a nice post!


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## Country Bumpkins (Feb 18, 2011)

I always give my mailcarrier presents at Christmas. Homemade bread, jelly or a candle. Never knew it was a problem. What is the world is becoming of this world!


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## Mercury (Apr 12, 2012)

Mailmen do verey well at Christmas. I have a friend who was a mailcarrier and he never had a problem. How else can you show gratitude


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

Country Bumpkins said:


> I always give my mailcarrier presents at Christmas. Homemade bread, jelly or a candle. Never knew it was a problem. What is the world is becoming of this world!


That's a good question. Afraid the answer is "nothing good."


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## christine4321 (Jun 10, 2012)

nclavalley said:


> did you know the mail carrier could loose his job for accepting your generous gift? it is in their contract NOT to accept ANYTHING, but spoken words of graditude, from customers.


Nurses, doctors, and other professions are also not to receive gifts either however when speaking to the governing body of many of these professions it is just a matter of using common sense.

The rule is in place to prevent others from being taken advantage of. (lonely people or people who are receiving care).Accepting a small token of appreciation will likely not result in reprimand of any kind. Accepting a knitted gift is likely not to draw any criticism.


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## peachy51 (Feb 9, 2012)

In my state, a government employee cannot accept a gift that has a value of more than $25. This prevents vendors from trying to skew the bidding process and prevents employees from giving special service to some citizens and not others.


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## taborhills (Sep 8, 2012)

My grandfather and my husband, both rural doctors, used to received eggs and whatever from patients as "payment." My father, a suburban cardiologist, was given liquor at Christmas. I have occasionally given appropriate books to my physicians. Give what you feel is appropriate or fun -- or nothing is fine. Never feel that you MUST give gifts to teachers -- or to anyone. When I was a teacher, I got too much "stuff." One's children will not get preferential treatment just because one gives a "something" to the teacher. Nor will a teacher neglect your child of you *just* write a note of appreciation!


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

Taborhills - we think alike again! I started teaching in my fifties, after years of trying to find just the right teacher gifts for my children to take. So at the beginning of December, I sent a little Christmas note home telling parents that I knew it was very hard to find gifts, that I knew from my own children that they are very busy, and PLEASE don't send a gift- please spend your money on your family. No one seemed to mind, and it worked well. A few felt compelled anyway, but I sincerely wanted them to use the money for their kids because at my age I had what I needed. I hope I was diplomatic. We always had a lot of fun at school during Christmas, so I don't think it spoiled the spirit. And they all had gifts from me on their desks when they came in on the last day before Christmas. That was so much fun - room dim except for some Christmas lights - and then a surprise for each one. 
You probably can't do that any more - at least where I taught. They've taken the heart and soul out of the process and replaced them with computer chips.


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