# Does she think I'm a miracle worker?



## JoannaP (Jul 24, 2011)

Just got a call from my middle daughter. She wants to know if I have any ugly yarn that I could make her an ugly sweater for an ugly sweater party. Oh and by the way the party is tomorrow night! If a whole sweater would take too long, I could just do a sweater vest. I don't know whether to be: A -- pleased that she thinks her mom can work miracles; B -- sad that she has lived with me so long and still doesn't know how much effort goes into the things I make for her (even though she appreciates them more than either of the other two girls); or C -- mad that she thinks my time is worth so little that I will take it at the holidays to make her an UGLY sweater. I decided to be pleased 

I informed her that I don't own any ugly yard because life is too short to knit with ugly yarn  however I do have a sweater made to look like a Crayola box so it is in the ugliest color imaginable. so now I'm making the two hour round trip to take the sweater to her because she has to work late tonight and doesn't have time to come get it. she's 26 years old so it's probably too late for me to start with the object lesson about planning ahead and reaping the consequences of not planning ahead, 
so I'll just take her the sweater (sigh)


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## yorkie1 (Sep 5, 2011)

WOW I can't believe an adult knows so little about knitting. Surely she is just too busy at this time of year that she just isn't thinking clearly. :-(


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## cavedwellersmum (Aug 14, 2013)

Welcome to my world 

I do feel for you I get that but mostly with Mum can you make me a shirt/jacket/waistcoat or all three I have fancy dress tomorrow oh and can you get th material 

Often this is late at night so Another sheet dies for a nobel cause 

This also happened whe they ( my 2 sons) were dancing there would be a production at the end of the year I would have my sons costumes already to go, only to be asked 2 nights before the production if I could make 7 other costumes as the other boys mothers didn't come to the party ( Oh and I wore the cost too) I did ask for the costumes back at the end of the night musch to the discgust of the other parents My time My material so MY cotumes I told them

! paent complained as it was not the stuyle shirt she would have picked for her son 

I was so mad I actually laughed there were no words


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## SwampCatNana (Dec 27, 2012)

It is NEVER too late to teach that lesson!


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## JillF (Feb 17, 2011)

I know exactly how you feel. A week ago my nutritionist at my dialysis clinic asked me to knit a Christmas Stocking like the older ones that her grandmother had made for her family. I told her no promises, but I'd try to get it done by Christmas. I also told her not to show it to anyone there, as I don't want more requests. Her answer was, oh well, after you do mine, you'll know how to do it, so you could just whip them out and make some money. I said no thanks, but "whip them out?" What a laugh.


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## babsbarb (Dec 23, 2012)

I would go to the nearest thrift store and pick up a Christmas sweater, then stop at the $ store to buy embellishments. A quick wash and dry and add the "crap" and there you go.


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## Shdy990 (Mar 10, 2011)

my niece from Canada called and wanted me to do an afghan in a few days - first the cost of mailing it back and forth would be astronomical and the time, etc. She said "oh I better try to do it myself again".


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## JoannaP (Jul 24, 2011)

to be fair to her (which my husband says I should do) she did say she could go to the thrift store and look for one if only she didn't have to work during the hours they are open. 

Swampcat is probably right that it is never too late to teach the object lesson but right now I'm too tired to fight with it. annual Christmas open house is on Thursday night so I have too much work to do to fight with her over it


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## scumbugusa (Oct 10, 2011)

What a great Mom :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## riversong200 (Apr 20, 2014)

Aren't all moms miracle workers?


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## yarnawhile (Apr 9, 2012)

babsbarb said:


> I would go to the nearest thrift store and pick up a Christmas sweater, then stop at the $ store to buy embellishments. A quick wash and dry and add the "crap" and there you go.


No, tell the daughter to go do it.


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## bundyanne07 (Aug 24, 2014)

That's families, especially the young ones!! Mind you Mums CAN and DO work miracles!!!! As long as you get thanked that is all the reward you really need isn't it?


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## Lolly12 (Oct 10, 2012)

Wow! :-( :-( :thumbdown: 
There are lots of thrift stores that sell ugly Christmas sweaters, you know this angers me and I don't even know her, but I think this is truly unfair ,inconsiderate and selfish of her. IMHO,I would never have the gall to ask someone to do this, even it is family, and you can tell her I said so, and to be kinder to her mum.Yeesh :?:I just reread your post-you are delivering it to her? What are you thinking, was she a spoiled child,or still is.


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## cathy47 (Jun 6, 2011)

I would have gotten a bag put punch of lose yarn and a pattern in it and given it to her. and told her heres your sweater. Someone made the same request of me 5 hrs. before she wanted it. I did just that balls of yarn needles and pattern I handed it to her and I told her to have a go at it that I don't do last minute requests. She didn't much like it but oh well that be the price of being inconsiderate. Other co-workers had a good laugh.


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## seamer45 (Jan 18, 2011)

I put a stop to the "Mom I need it tomorrow" thing when our 3 girls were in elementary school.


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## GrandmaNona (Aug 2, 2013)

Those who do not knit/crochet/sew have no idea what goes into making something like that; and they never will, unless we explain it to them in terms they can understand. The materials will cost $???; it will take this much time to make it at $????? per hour; therefore, this is how much that little thing you want me to 'whip out' is worth. Then add in that there are not enough hours left in your busy days to do the work. Sometimes they will finally understand; but, do not hold your breath.


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## chickkie (Oct 26, 2011)

You know why she does it...because she knows you will do what she wants.


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## Lolly12 (Oct 10, 2012)

JoannaP said:


> to be fair to her (which my husband says I should do) she did say she could go to the thrift store and look for one if only she didn't have to work during the hours they are open.
> 
> Swampcat is probably right that it is never too late to teach the object lesson but right now I'm too tired to fight with it. annual Christmas open house is on Thursday night so I have too much work to do to fight with her over it


You don't have to fight about it,just say no,plain and simple.


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## Bloomers (Oct 11, 2013)

Don't you know that all moms are miracle workers?? I'm sure you have pulled off many a miracle in your years as her parent!


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## jvallas (Jul 16, 2013)

There are obviously so many different kinds of moms. You're doing exactly what you're comfortable with. It apparently doesn't work for everyone on this thread, but I'm betting it suits your personality. I'm more like you, & sometimes I aggravate myself as a result, but for the most part it's the knd of mom I want to be.


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## jvallas (Jul 16, 2013)

I should quickly add that the older I get, the less patience I have, though! &#128515;


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## countryknitwit (Nov 13, 2011)

I was in kohl's yesterday. They actually have a kit for a do-it-yourself ugly Christmas sweater. Comes with the sweater and embellishments, you just put them where you want.


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## gapeach31781 (Oct 16, 2013)

ah, the old "let me make my problem your problem. You are a very patient woman.


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## JoannaP (Jul 24, 2011)

my husband reminded me of the old axiom "lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.". I probably cut her a bit more slack because we adopted her when she was 14 and she had many habit patterns established by then. It is so nice for me that she considers me Mom and would be comfortable to ask that I pretty much bend over backwards for her


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## luree (Feb 21, 2014)

Moms are the best and they know that moms aim to please. That is a compliment. Maybe next time you will get ask a little sooner.


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## Peggy Beryl (Jun 4, 2012)

Since you continue to behave as her fairy godmother and fulfill her wishes--yes, she does think you are a miracle worker.


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## run4fittness (May 22, 2011)

At least she wants you to know something for her!


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## JillF (Feb 17, 2011)

I think it would have been wonderful to be able to ask and depend on a mother like that. Everyone should have a mother like you.


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## Katsch (Mar 15, 2011)

babsbarb said:


> I would go to the nearest thrift store and pick up a Christmas sweater, then stop at the $ store to buy embellishments. A quick wash and dry and add the "crap" and there you go.


Haha, love it and good idea!


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## Leigh09 (Feb 14, 2014)

Great Mom-isn't it great to have a daughter-love mine also!


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## kiwi11 (Jul 27, 2011)

MUM- your a sucker>>> stop-she will do this to you forever
unless you stop doing what you are doing>>>offer to show her how> tell her you are way too busy> but to keep on running around after her at this age>>>she will always take you for granted 
sorry-telling it how it is>>>


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## LindaH (Feb 1, 2011)

You are a good mother to take the sweater to her, far better than I would be.


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## Frances14 (Aug 1, 2012)

It reminds me of when I made a Jean Greenhowe Emily Doll for my Sisters Church Raffle.

They liked it so much that the Organiser asked if I could "knock two more up"" for next week. I was speechless.

Jenny x


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## MariElyn (Jul 8, 2014)

babsbarb said:


> I would go to the nearest thrift store and pick up a Christmas sweater, then stop at the $ store to buy embellishments. A quick wash and dry and add the "crap" and there you go.


 :thumbup:


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## knittingnanna19 (Nov 6, 2013)

Daughters ! ! ! Mine leaves me speechless at times but far less often now she is nearing her middle years . Love her lots .


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## toast (Jul 27, 2011)

Daughters - you got to love them. Remember when they were little and you could do and fix anything, then they went to school and you knew a little less, but could still fix some things. Teen years you knew Nothing. Isn't it nice now that they are grown that you are back to the time of being able to fix and make anything and everything.


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## mumsie (Mar 14, 2012)

I did the same as seamer45 only thing I did that may have been different is, I showed them where their sewing machine was, gave them the instruction book as well, and told them all at some stage(3 boys, 1 girl) to watch and I taught them to knit.
Horrid mum I know but I am so proud of the fact they can all run a house without too much help.


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## knittnnana (Apr 20, 2013)

babsbarb said:


> I would go to the nearest thrift store and pick up a Christmas sweater, then stop at the $ store to buy embellishments. A quick wash and dry and add the "crap" and there you go.


What a great idea!


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## PaKnitter (Mar 7, 2011)

I said 'no' a long time ago and told my family Christmas comes the same time each year. Plan and organize.


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## knittnnana (Apr 20, 2013)

jvallas said:


> There are obviously so many different kinds of moms. You're doing exactly what you're comfortable with. It apparently doesn't work for everyone on this thread, but I'm betting it suits your personality. I'm more like you, & sometimes I aggravate myself as a result, but for the most part it's the knd of mom I want to be.


I'm that kind of mom too!


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## Knitted by Nan (Aug 3, 2013)

cavedwellersmum said:


> Welcome to my world
> 
> I do feel for you I get that but mostly with Mum can you make me a shirt/jacket/waistcoat or all three I have fancy dress tomorrow oh and can you get the material
> 
> ...


Yes I had this same thing thrust upon me when my daughter was dancing


> I would have my sons costumes already to go, only to be asked 2 nights before the production if I could make 7 other costumes as the other boys mothers didn't come to the party ( Oh and I wore the cost too) I did ask for the costumes back at the end of the night much to the disgust of the other parents


 It was to make the costumes for my daughters dancing partner and I was asked one week before the pageant.

When I said, sorry but I am working full time and just do not have the time the dancing teacher said, "well if you do not make the costumes the other girl cannot be in the pageant, which means your daughter will not have a partner so she cannot be in the pageant either." Talk about blackmail. What else could I say, I had to agree or my daughter would have been punished. When I asked the mother for the costumes back as I had made them and I had paid for the material she reneged. I found out why, she had sold them to another mother with a daughter in another dancing school and whose daughter would wear them in that school's pageant.


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## valwirral (Feb 8, 2012)

Unfortunately, this is what being a Mom is all about, they will miss us when we hve gone!!!!!!!!!!


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## jcgardner (Nov 11, 2014)

Do you want another daughter!


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## knittnnana (Apr 20, 2013)

EveMCooke, that is just unbelievable what happened to you! The dance instructor "blackmailing" you to make a costume and the nerve of that mother to sell the one you made and paid for the material! I guess you'll be looking for another dance school.


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## windowwonde28941 (Mar 9, 2011)

Oh no we are not knitting something to do to a trash the day after ....Or for that matter buying something to to go to trash after one use .
No is never to late to tell her that you put you hart and soul in to making things and you would like for her to see it as very special ...... If she is not knit thinks for the ones that they will appreciate.


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## BethP0201 (Dec 5, 2014)

You are a good Mom! Just what I would (try) to do!
On another note, when did Christmas sweaters become "UGLY"?
We all used to wear them proudly until someone (young) decided they were laughable.
Boo!


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## Nancyn (Mar 23, 2013)

You are a good mom! I probably would have driven to see my daughter, too. There really is nothing better, even when they are older, to hear I need you. It doesn't matter if it is a silly request. She knows she can depend on you. How wonderful!


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## kayrein (Aug 24, 2011)

I am learning to say NO. 

That said, I did let my neighbor talk me into knitting her two daughters ski bands for Christmas, a decision I regret now, as I am working many hours until the Holidays are over and I am trying to finish up some knitted gifts for my own family.

Sigh. Tis the season.


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## jeannietta (Mar 14, 2011)

I'd give anything to have a daughter! Of course, I wouldn't trade in my sons . And I do have a wonderful step daughter. You are blessed and yes - you are a miracle worker!

Go to the thrift shop and then the craft store!

It's the holidays - Enjoy your family.


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## maspd (May 20, 2013)

I think that this is a perfect example of mouth engaged before brain. At this time of year, things are so hectic that panic takes over. Think of it as Mom can do everything and will bend over backwards to see it is done. Now that I am older I am doing the reverse. I am asking my daughter to do the things I should have done myself before I left for Florida for the winter, and busy as she is, she knows she had better do them cause mom comes through when she is in a pinch. Put a smile on your face and say "yea right" or as one person told me "when pigs fly" and with a very sweet smile on her face. By the way, now my daughters favourite expression.


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## K2P2 knitter (Jan 31, 2013)

Welcome to my world! My daughter lives 3000 miles from me but still expects miracles. She called me the first of October to asked me if I could make an entire baby set blanket, sweater, hat and booties for her to take as a baby shower gift on the 19th of October. I told her as long as she would be happy with lavender I already had a set done. I put it in a box shipped it out the next day. I keep baby sets on hand to have just incase I need a quick baby gift.


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## jdwilhelm (Dec 6, 2011)

You could have just said "no".


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## JeanneHolmes (May 4, 2011)

babsbarb said:


> I would go to the nearest thrift store and pick up a Christmas sweater, then stop at the $ store to buy embellishments. A quick wash and dry and add the "crap" and there you go.


LOL - I love it!


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## Don Ashton (Sep 16, 2011)

JoannaP said:


> Just got a call from my middle daughter. She wants to know if I have any ugly yarn that I could make her an ugly sweater for an ugly sweater party. Oh and by the way the party is tomorrow night! If a whole sweater would take too long, I could just do a sweater vest. I don't know whether to be: A -- pleased that she thinks her mom can work miracles; B -- sad that she has lived with me so long and still doesn't know how much effort goes into the things I make for her (even though she appreciates them more than either of the other two girls); or C -- mad that she thinks my time is worth so little that I will take it at the holidays to make her an UGLY sweater. I decided to be pleased
> 
> I informed her that I don't own any ugly yard because life is too short to knit with ugly yarn  however I do have a sweater made to look like a Crayola box so it is in the ugliest color imaginable. so now I'm making the two hour round trip to take the sweater to her because she has to work late tonight and doesn't have time to come get it. she's 26 years old so it's probably too late for me to start with the object lesson about planning ahead and reaping the consequences of not planning ahead,
> so I'll just take her the sweater (sigh)


What is it with these folks, they have no idea of the time it takes to do hand knitted stuff. I guess we need to teach them all to knit.


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## jonibee (Nov 3, 2011)

Evidently you always came through for her so why would it be any different now..It kind of comical for her to think that you're able to produce an article on such short notice, but you have ...haven't you. So take it as a compliment that she believes that you're the miracle worker....


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## BARBIE-s (Sep 15, 2014)

DITTO Riversong200 =)


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## LBush1144 (Jan 23, 2011)

Mom's do work miracles. My son was a kindergartener and needed a bear suit for a play. I was assured that the school was renting these suits, but I had bought brown fur fabric at a junk fabric store. He came home at 3:30 the day of the play with a white bear suit that would have fit one of those tall basketball players. I was keeping four other children with my two. Before the children were picked up by their parents, I told my husband to take care of feeding the kids, and I got to work and made the cutest brown bear suit and had it ready for my little boy by six! We kept the suit for a long time and the head (hat) with ears for even longer. I once made a ghost costume, which won a prize for a fat ghost, in a very short time since the weather had turned cold and the original costume we had planned would not have been warm enough. I performed a miracle with a bedsheet to make a beaded Indian dress -- dyed to look the color of skins - in an overnight. My kids always needed stuff "tomorrow." It wasn't their fault that they didn't know what they needed. Costume plans seemed to come from the school rather last minute. Yes, we moms are miracle workers.


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## Grazellda (Mar 11, 2014)

JoannaP said:


> I don't know whether to be: A -- pleased that she thinks her mom can work miracles; B -- sad that she has lived with me so long and still doesn't know how much effort goes into the things I make for her (even though she appreciates them more than either of the other two girls); or C -- mad that she thinks my time is worth so little that I will take it at the holidays to make her an UGLY sweater. I decided to be pleased


I would be pleased also! She still doesn't know how much you do for her - but she will, when she's a mom! Right now she just knows she can come to you and ask - and you will go out of your way to help her. Very few people appreciate the things our parents do for us until we become older, or our parents are no longer around, and we think back to when we were young. You are not making miracles - you are making memories that will last forever. It sounds like they will be very loving memories.


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## maspd (May 20, 2013)

K2P2 knitter said:


> Welcome to my world! My daughter lives 3000 miles from me but still expects miracles. She called me the first of October to asked me if I could make an entire baby set blanket, sweater, hat and booties for her to take as a baby shower gift on the 19th of October. I told her as long as she would be happy with lavender I already had a set done. I put it in a box shipped it out the next day. I keep baby sets on hand to have just incase I need a quick baby gift.


My daughter does not ask anymore, she just goes to "Moms Store" in the cub board in the basement cause she knows it is full and overflowing. When I run out of things I really want to knit I revert to baby blankets with matching blanket buddies. That is my no brainier knit project.


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## betsy10904 (Sep 15, 2011)

There are vintage clothing stores making good money selling previously owned Christmas sweaters. They are popping up everywhere since this craze of an ugly sweater party developed. Have her look on line. Teach her resourcefulness. Oh, wait, she used the path of least resistance already. Merry Christmas!


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## Montana Gramma (Dec 19, 2012)

I do believe you deserve to have your halo polished! Good for you! Doesn't teach her resourcefulness but does let her know how very much you love her. Another request may not be able to be met but when it can, a wee drive is a small price to pay to help her out. If she truly doesn't appreciate it or expects like someone spoiled that is a different ball of wax and I am sure you will take care of that when necessary.


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## Bydie (Dec 2, 2011)

knittnnana said:


> I'm that kind of mom too!


Me too! They'll get payback when they have to to take care of me in my old age. :0)


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## gcole (May 7, 2011)

There you go--perfect.


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## Metrogal (Mar 15, 2011)

Hey don't sweat it! It's Christmas and it's all in fun. You could've just said honey I can't, I'm just too busy and let it go. Why be all upset? You say she's the one who enjoys your work the most. She may have just felt a bit of desperation too, with her schedule and all. Face it...we all go to our moms in a time of "crisis." Just love her and get over it.


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## Bydie (Dec 2, 2011)

Nancyn said:


> You are a good mom! I probably would have driven to see my daughter, too. There really is nothing better, even when they are older, to hear I need you. It doesn't matter if it is a silly request. She knows she can depend on you. How wonderful!


 :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## gcole (May 7, 2011)

JoannaP - are you sure you're talking about your daughter and not mine? But we always come through.


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## BBatten17 (Dec 15, 2012)

These are the same kids that tell you (usually during breakfast) "oh, by the way, mom, I need 3 dozen cupcakes for the bake sale TODAY!"


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## morningstar (Mar 24, 2012)

JoannaP said:


> Just got a call from my middle daughter. She wants to know if I have any ugly yarn that I could make her an ugly sweater for an ugly sweater party. Oh and by the way the party is tomorrow night! If a whole sweater would take too long, I could just do a sweater vest. I don't know whether to be: A -- pleased that she thinks her mom can work miracles; B -- sad that she has lived with me so long and still doesn't know how much effort goes into the things I make for her (even though she appreciates them more than either of the other two girls); or C -- mad that she thinks my time is worth so little that I will take it at the holidays to make her an UGLY sweater. I decided to be pleased
> 
> I informed her that I don't own any ugly yard because life is too short to knit with ugly yarn  however I do have a sweater made to look like a Crayola box so it is in the ugliest color imaginable. so now I'm making the two hour round trip to take the sweater to her because she has to work late tonight and doesn't have time to come get it. she's 26 years old so it's probably too late for me to start with the object lesson about planning ahead and reaping the consequences of not planning ahead,
> so I'll just take her the sweater (sigh)


I suspect there is a long history of your jumping to do whatever is requested. I also suspect you get a lot out of meeting the challenges. If it works for you, may it continue. If it is becoming too much for you, have an honest conversation before the next time.


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## gransh (Jan 27, 2011)

In some way we, unknowingly, give our kid(s) and grandkids the impression that we "moms" are miracle workers. 

i think she has paid you a wonderful compliment.


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## dgid (Feb 3, 2014)

JoannaP said:


> Swampcat is probably right that it is never too late to teach the object lesson but right now I'm too tired to fight with it. annual Christmas open house is on Thursday night so I have too much work to do to fight with her over it


Best lesson is to say 'I'm sorry, you haven'e given me enough time." Enabling her by doing what she asks isn't going to teach her the lesson she needs to learn.

Not being mean, just saying it as I see it.


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## dotcarp2000 (Sep 5, 2011)

You are too too funny!! But what a mom !


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## SGMMontgomery (Mar 23, 2014)

I guess I see it different than many here. I love to help my kids in their moments of "crisis." If I am unable to...they don't get mad and pissy...they thank me and understand that sometimes I just can't do it. But for the times that I can...I am happy to help and they are grateful for the help. I guess for me...its all in the way they ask and respond...shows we did a good job raising them.

And if you can't call your mom for help...even at the last minute (especially at the last minute)...who can you call? Sometimes mom can't help...sometimes she can...the times she can are the moments a child remembers, forever. 

I think you sound like a wonderful mom who still makes the time to "save the day." I am betting she is appreciative and thankful....and that she tells everyone who comments on her sweater who got it for her and how you drove it all the way there. Because you are probably her life hero and "can do anything." I don't think that is a bad badge to carry...


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## dotcarp2000 (Sep 5, 2011)

yarnawhile said:


> No, tell the daughter to go do it.


Cmon where is your sense of humor ?


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## Grandydede (Nov 4, 2012)

No matter what, moms drop everything and do what they can for their children. I'd laugh about her thinking it could be done so quickly but, I'd take the drive too - crazy but true


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## Dsynr (Jun 3, 2011)

seamer45 said:


> I put a stop to the "Mom I need it tomorrow" thing when our 3 girls were in elementary school.


 I did the last-minute thing a few times; then I told the kiddles to bring me a list of the "assembly" dates. They didn't do it.

The next "assembly day" they informed me THAT MORNING! I said "AND?'' & continued fixing breakfast. They went to school unprepared. I went to the school in time for the "assembly". The teacher asked me why my children were "unprepared".

"Well," I said, "if dirty clothes are under the bed instead of in the hamper, they don't get washed, and things just pile up." Then I stared into the distance and stretched out my arms an wiggled my fingers, saying "Eenie, meenie, chili-beanie..." followed by a sorrowful look and said, "I'm sorry. It doesn't work anymore." and sighed mightily.

The kiddles were MORTIFIED. That Friday, the hampers were full to overflowing. The clothes got washed and ironed. They were prepared for the next week's "assembly".
Eenie, meenie, chili-beanie...it STILL won't work!  :lol:


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## Nana5 (Aug 17, 2011)

Made me smile!! Love how you "went with the flow", life is too short to sweat the small stuff, instead you made another memory for your daughter, "I remember the time MY Mom drove 2 hours to bring me a ugly sweater just because she loves me!".......


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## missjg (Nov 18, 2012)

I know its not funny, but brought back memories and had to laugh. Back in the day when my son (not a daddy) was a teen and helping his father move the refrigerator, says to me... MOM HOLD THIS? huh? 2 of them to move it and MOM is gonna hold it by herself? hello? don't think so son! LOL ... yeah I would told her ... Oh love of my life you can have THIS ugly thing anytime YOU can pick it up! NO can do anymore run run run.. too old.


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## Ronie (Jan 21, 2011)

She just thought of you first and since you have always been there for her she felt safe in asking you... and by the way a 2 hour trip in the winter!!! She must of known you would go out of your way for her.. It sounds like you are both blessed and as far as the sweater goes hang some ornaments on it and maybe weave some yarn through to make it look like a tree and call it good  no need to make a whole new one or have her miss out.. She will learn all about planning ahead in her own time!!


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## Lettuceknit (Dec 22, 2012)

I had my own business repairing patio furniture, making slings,, cushions, and vinyl strapping. I would have people come into my shop wanting new slings made for their furniture yesterday for a party tonight. They assumed I kept slings and cushions in my shop. I would ask "what brand and style" they owned. No idea! I told them I would have to have the furniture to make the slings so I could take measurements to fit their things. What? How are they going to get it to my shop? I have pick up and delivery available. Would tell them the cost for the slings, pick up and delivery fees. But they wanted it the next day for their party. I explained that I could work a miracle if I could get the stuff the next morning and they picked a fabric in my shop it would be done the same day...if there was no welding or cleaning to be done. There would be an extra charge for the same day service. Lack of planning on their part does not constitute an emergency on my part. They did not like paying the extra fee but they could always walk out the door. No one ever did...they were desperate. Do not be afraid to believe in yourself.


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## Knitted by Nan (Aug 3, 2013)

knittnnana said:


> EveMCooke, that is just unbelievable what happened to you! The dance instructor "blackmailing" you to make a costume and the nerve of that mother to sell the one you made and paid for the material! I guess you'll be looking for another dance school.


It happened a long time ago, when my daughter was young. I did not speak to the other mother after that, I refused to do any more sewing for nothing.


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## Bobbieknits67 (May 10, 2011)

Wow, our daughters must me close friends. LOL My Daughter called me 2 Weeks ago, the 5 year old grand daughter needed a Christmas gift for her friend at school, and could I make them matching scarfs and hats, and oh, by the way she cant give the grand daughter something without having something to give to the 6 1/2 year old grand son too, so could I make him a scarf and hat too. 

But best of all, specific colors (ones I didn't have and had to go buy) and I need them by the 15th of December.

I'm not complaining tho, I love that child very much, and she is a great daughter. She is expecting baby # 3 in March, and I need to be trying to knit for that one. The problem is she and hubby do not want to know weather baby is a girl or boy until the baby arrives. I've seen a few gender netural things but I just cant seem to get going on something. Every time I start, it just doesn't seem right.

Yes, lets face it, I am that mother too!!
lol 

What we wouldn't do for out children...


Bobbie


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## Engprof (Dec 9, 2013)

babsbarb said:


> I would go to the nearest thrift store and pick up a Christmas sweater, then stop at the $ store to buy embellishments. A quick wash and dry and add the "crap" and there you go.


Oh, that's a great idea! If the recipient doesn't have a clue about how much work goes in to making a handmade stocking, they won't know the difference if you take a short cut.


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## Lettuceknit (Dec 22, 2012)

EveMCooke said:


> It was to make the costumes for my daughters dancing partner and I was asked one week before the pageant.
> 
> When I said, sorry but I am working full time and just do not have the time the dancing teacher said, "well if you do not make the costumes the other girl cannot be in the pageant, which means your daughter will not have a partner so she cannot be in the pageant either." Talk about blackmail. What else could I say, I had to agree or my daughter would have been punished. When I asked the mother for the costumes back as I had made them and I had paid for the material she reneged. I found out why, she had sold them to another mother with a daughter in another dancing school and whose daughter would wear them in that school's pageant.


I think I would have talked to the producers of the TV show "Judge Judy" to let her decide who should get what monetary clue and have her get the costumes back to you OR pay you much more than she received for selling them.


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## Quiltflower (Oct 25, 2014)

Babsbarb...I am laughing at your comment...thanks, I needed that, lol


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## thumper5316 (Oct 7, 2011)

Dsynr said:


> I did the last-minute thing a few times; then I told the kiddles to bring me a list of the "assembly" dates. They didn't do it.
> 
> The next "assembly day" they informed me THAT MORNING! I said "AND?'' & continued fixing breakfast. They went to school unprepared. I went to the school in time for the "assembly". The teacher asked me why my children were "unprepared".
> 
> ...


I had something similar happen with my middle son. When he was in high school they were going to have a Class A uniform inspection that day and he needed his Class A shirt ironed as he "wouldn't do as good a job as I would". Of course he informed me 15 minutes before his ride was due to pick him up. I told him that he would pay dearly later for it. That weekend I gathered up every man's dress shirt in the house I could find (three sons and a DH...there were about 20 shirts) and made him iron every single one of them. After he was done with all of them I told him that he now knew how to iron shirts just as good as I could and that I expected him to never have to ask me, or anyone, to iron another shirt for him.

He's now 30 and I've yet to hear that he's asked anyone to iron a shirt for him. Even his wife remarked that he does a better job on shirts than she does. Lol!


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## Charlotte80 (Jan 24, 2011)

babsbarb said:


> I would go to the nearest thrift store and pick up a Christmas sweater, then stop at the $ store to buy embellishments. A quick wash and dry and add the "crap" and there you go.


Good thinking.

:thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## AnDee (Jan 30, 2012)

I just saw a woman at the supermarket with an "ugly" sweater. She said she went to the $1 store and bought the trims and used safety pins to hang everything on a plain green cardigan. She said why buy something you'll wear once and she tried to buy a not so ugly one but the local stores are sold out. I've seen embroidered add-ons that you can attach at AC Moore and Michaels.


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## MOK (May 7, 2011)

Sometimes you just have to say No


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## hersh (Nov 7, 2011)

seamer45 said:


> I put a stop to the "Mom I need it tomorrow" thing when our 3 girls were in elementary school.


Good job. You are a mother.


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## knitnanny (Feb 28, 2012)

You are the best Mom ever (well, only while she wears the sweater!!). I have done things like that for my kids and have never regretted it. As for being 26yrs old, it's only a number and, until our kids have lived on their own for a while and had their own kids, they will not know the hard work, time and patience we have used on them!!
Smile all the way there and all the way back, Mom!!


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## Medieval Reenactor (Sep 3, 2013)

JoannaP said:


> Swampcat is probably right that it is never too late to teach the object lesson but right now I'm too tired to fight with it. annual Christmas open house is on Thursday night so I have too much work to do to fight with her over it


What fight? "Just say no." Or more gently, "Oh, I don't possibly have the time. Wish you'd asked me a couple of weeks ago."

And with all you have to do, you're driving 2 hours to deliver the thing? (Shaking my head in disbelief.)


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## gardenlady4012 (Oct 18, 2014)

Obviously mixed opinions here, but I think you're a great Mom. I would have done exactly the same for my DD, then added a lecture about time and costs involved and a reminder to plan ahead next time. Remember the words to that old song: the difficult I'll do right now, the impossible will take a little while. It must have been written by or for a Mother.


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## gardenlady4012 (Oct 18, 2014)

Obviously mixed opinions here, but I think you're a great Mom. I would have done exactly the same for my DD, then added a lecture about time and costs involved and a reminder to plan ahead next time. Remember the words to that old song: the difficult I'll do right now, the impossible will take a little while. It must have been written by or for a Mother.


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## SouthernGirl (Dec 28, 2011)

You are a great mom.


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## take2needles (Sep 15, 2011)

Joanna, you are a great mom. :thumbup:


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## jojoacker62 (Jun 10, 2013)

I am so glad you laughed. I hope it was in her face.



cavedwellersmum said:


> Welcome to my world
> 
> I do feel for you I get that but mostly with Mum can you make me a shirt/jacket/waistcoat or all three I have fancy dress tomorrow oh and can you get th material
> 
> ...


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## dotcarp2000 (Sep 5, 2011)

BBatten17 said:


> These are the same kids that tell you (usually during breakfast) "oh, by the way, mom, I need 3 dozen cupcakes for the bake sale TODAY!"


BUT they do grow up don't they. There's a lot to put up with in raising kids and in spite of their bad habits as children, they do grow and learn. My kids had the same bad habits but I didn't go to great extremes to teach them--I simply talked to them and they did as I asked.


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## Renie7777 (Dec 17, 2014)

Don't worry Joanna she'll remember these time forever. I bet all her friends think she's the luckiest girl they know. That's what moms do


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## Knit crazy (Mar 13, 2013)

When I was teaching high school, I had a sign that said "Your failure to plan is not my crisis." But, the best quip I heard was from my step-mother, "You can only be a doormat is you allow yourself to be one." Remember, no one respects a doormat. 

I believe in doing kindnesses of my choosing.


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## gsbyrge (Jul 12, 2011)

I hereby nominate you for The Best Mom Ever award.....!


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## ChrisCA (May 15, 2013)

I can only share how I would feel. I would be complimented if my child thought I could perform a miracle and that they trusted what I made would be perfect.


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## tmvasquez (May 7, 2013)

Believe it or not my son actually asked me the same thing last year. I told him that even if I could knit a sweater in a day that I would not work my fingers to the bone making something ugly that they were only going to use once. Crazy kids! I did however go to a thrift store and get a sweater and uglier it up&#128540;


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## TapestryArtist (Sep 4, 2013)

JoannaP said:


> Just got a call from my middle daughter. She wants to know if I have any ugly yarn that I could make her an ugly sweater for an ugly sweater party. Oh and by the way the party is tomorrow night! If a whole sweater would take too long, I could just do a sweater vest. I don't know whether to be: A -- pleased that she thinks her mom can work miracles; B -- sad that she has lived with me so long and still doesn't know how much effort goes into the things I make for her (even though she appreciates them more than either of the other two girls); or C -- mad that she thinks my time is worth so little that I will take it at the holidays to make her an UGLY sweater. I decided to be pleased
> 
> I informed her that I don't own any ugly yard because life is too short to knit with ugly yarn  however I do have a sweater made to look like a Crayola box so it is in the ugliest color imaginable. so now I'm making the two hour round trip to take the sweater to her because she has to work late tonight and doesn't have time to come get it. she's 26 years old so it's probably too late for me to start with the object lesson about planning ahead and reaping the consequences of not planning ahead,
> so I'll just take her the sweater (sigh)


Next time maybe you can tell her to stop at WalMart or KMart on her way home. Look on the sales racks. Some of those are pretty sleezy and would do nicely for something quick.


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## tmvasquez (May 7, 2013)

Believe it or not' my son asked me the very same thing last year. I told him that even if I could knit a sweater in a day that I would not work my fingers to the bone to make something ugly that he would only wear once. I did however go to the thrift store and get a sweater and ugly it up. Kids, they do think their moms can do anything even when they get older. He is 47. I was actually was actually a little misty eyed that he thought I was that good&#128519;sorry about this second post. It looked like my first one didn't save.


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## sherimorphis (Oct 11, 2011)

babsbarb said:


> I would go to the nearest thrift store and pick up a Christmas sweater, then stop at the $ store to buy embellishments. A quick wash and dry and add the "crap" and there you go.


.......................................
I like the way you think LOL LOL


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## Knit crazy (Mar 13, 2013)

TapestryArtist said:


> Next time maybe you can tell her to stop at WalMart or KMart on her way home. Look on the sales racks. Some of those are pretty sleezy and would do nicely for something quick.


At Thanksgiving, a friend's was wearing an Ugly Sweater. I asked him where he found it. He said at Kohl's last year. He's a struggling college student, so I doubt it was expensive. I think these sweaters are funky, hip wear for young people today. My 34 year-old nephew asked his Mom for one. I told her to try Kohl's.


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## nanciann (Aug 9, 2011)

Take it as a compliment...You're a wonderful mother...If I had a daughter...I would do the same thing...my son's are all grown with sons and grandchildren of their own but even they had some short term requests when they were younger and I tried always to live up to their beliefs in me. I wouldn't have it any other way.


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## mh1953 (Aug 14, 2014)

Mom can solve any problem. That's a compliment!


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## ann seal (Jan 30, 2014)

Sounds to me that YOU need to learn to say NO. imho


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## knitnut1939 (May 1, 2013)

Boy you are one in a million. I sure hope she appreciates you


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## lindakaren12 (Dec 16, 2011)

This is the second time in a week I've hear "ugly sweater party." Where have I been?


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## Knit crazy (Mar 13, 2013)

lindakaren12 said:


> This is the second time in a week I've hear "ugly sweater party." Where have I been?


I think it is a young-person thing. But, I could see a company party with this theme. It is kinder on employee pocket books than cocktail wear. It would be fun, like Halloween. It would be festive competition to see whose sweater was the ugliest.


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## gina (Jan 18, 2011)

They had some really hideous sweaters at the Dollar General for $8.00. 

But that Crayola one sound ugly too.


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## KnitterNatalie (Feb 20, 2011)

Been there and done that!! PS: My daughter is 28 and reasons in the same way as yours!! LOL


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## kipsalot (Jan 2, 2013)

My 17 year old son said he needed me to bring something to him at school today. It was midnight and I had just gone to bed. Wonder what the details were? Oh well.


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## Nilda muniz (Aug 14, 2011)

SwampCatNana said:


> It is NEVER too late to teach that lesson!


I totally agree with SwampCatNana! Sometimes we get upset, disturbed but never say a word (I have done it so many times) and we are not helping in correcting the situation. We need to think that the same way they do it with us they probably are doing with others and we certainly don't want them to treat others that way. She might get upset but believe me it will be a learning lesson knowing that mom does not have the time and won't be driving two hours to deliver the sweater to her. I am sorry if my response touches a nerve, but we can be miracle workers in a different way.


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## jangmb (Oct 27, 2011)

double post - so sorry.


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## jangmb (Oct 27, 2011)

babsbarb said:


> I would go to the nearest thrift store and pick up a Christmas sweater, then stop at the $ store to buy embellishments. A quick wash and dry and add the "crap" and there you go.


Oh, my goodness. You do know how to think on your feet. I must be too literal to think beyond the request for my work. Of course, your solution is the only way to handle this sort of request. It's a good thing I started knitting so I can get some "artistic" style thinking going


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## Strickliese (Jan 6, 2012)

It is very kind of you to make the round trip to take the sweater to her. Maybe you could remind her that it takes some time to make a sweater. Sometimes our kids just forget. They get so wrapped up in their lives that they lose touch.


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## janenedrow53 (Jul 3, 2013)

JoannaP said:


> Just got a call from my middle daughter. She wants to know if I have any ugly yarn that I could make her an ugly sweater for an ugly sweater party. Oh and by the way the party is tomorrow night! If a whole sweater would take too long, I could just do a sweater vest. I don't know whether to be: A -- pleased that she thinks her mom can work miracles; B -- sad that she has lived with me so long and still doesn't know how much effort goes into the things I make for her (even though she appreciates them more than either of the other two girls); or C -- mad that she thinks my time is worth so little that I will take it at the holidays to make her an UGLY sweater. I decided to be pleased
> 
> I informed her that I don't own any ugly yard because life is too short to knit with ugly yarn  however I do have a sweater made to look like a Crayola box so it is in the ugliest color imaginable. so now I'm making the two hour round trip to take the sweater to her because she has to work late tonight and doesn't have time to come get it. she's 26 years old so it's probably too late for me to start with the object lesson about planning ahead and reaping the consequences of not planning ahead,
> so I'll just take her the sweater (sigh)


A couple weeks ago, my youngest G.D. was over,asked me if I could make her a sweater for her birthday, I just explained that with all that is entailed in making a sweater, it wouldn't be done in time for her birthday, spoke to my son & I made her a hat for these cold wintery days instead. Her birthday was last week & she is 5.


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## sockyarn (Jan 26, 2011)

I am with you on this one.


babsbarb said:


> I would go to the nearest thrift store and pick up a Christmas sweater, then stop at the $ store to buy embellishments. A quick wash and dry and add the "crap" and there you go.


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## Amooozing (Nov 14, 2014)

I get the same thing from my daughter, but more to the point, when did these beautiful creations become "ugly sweaters"? That really fuzzes me up!


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## charliesaunt (Apr 22, 2011)

WOW!!...don't know how to reply other than WOW!


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## knthewgillmt (Sep 21, 2011)

Oh the things us moms do for our children....no matter what the age!!


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## rkr (Aug 15, 2012)

I'm with chickkie, Paknitter, mumsie, kiwi11, swampcatnana, yarnawhile, lolly12, JoannaP, gapeach, etc - dgid said what I'm thinking - Enabler.
Dsyner - I lv it. For them to feel the consequences is the only thing that will make any impression.
This is not about - not sweating the small stuff. It's about adults beginning to act like adults and stop relying on parents to bail them out of every difficulty.
"Lack of planning on their part does not constitute an emergency on my part." "You can only be a doormat is you allow yourself to be one." 
She has her own holiday party to prepare for (prob w/o relying on HER Mom...) and didn't need to take 4 hours driving out of a day to deliver after procuring said item. Yep, WalMart has very extended hours, early to late. You will be an enabler until you learn to say No. That seems difficult but is actually good for children, no matter the age.


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## LisaWyo (Dec 9, 2014)

Thank God for moms. Wish I still had mine. :-(


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## Diane Wolfe (Jun 3, 2013)

Of course we want our children to respect our time and effort, but I get the love for one's child like no other and bending the rules occasionally. Then a gentle reminder about reality might be in order. If I could possibly do it, I would, that's just how I feel about my daughter - a gift. With you, Diane


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## mlsolcz (Feb 16, 2012)

JoannaP said:


> Just got a call from my middle daughter. She wants to know if I have any ugly yarn that I could make her an ugly sweater for an ugly sweater party. Oh and by the way the party is tomorrow night! If a whole sweater would take too long, I could just do a sweater vest. I don't know whether to be: A -- pleased that she thinks her mom can work miracles; B -- sad that she has lived with me so long and still doesn't know how much effort goes into the things I make for her (even though she appreciates them more than either of the other two girls); or C -- mad that she thinks my time is worth so little that I will take it at the holidays to make her an UGLY sweater. I decided to be pleased
> 
> Why don't you just Fedex overnight and send her the bill. The drive is way too long.
> 
> ...


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## mlsolcz (Feb 16, 2012)

JoannaP said:


> Just got a call from my middle daughter. She wants to know if I have any ugly yarn that I could make her an ugly sweater for an ugly sweater party. Oh and by the way the party is tomorrow night! If a whole sweater would take too long, I could just do a sweater vest. I don't know whether to be: A -- pleased that she thinks her mom can work miracles; B -- sad that she has lived with me so long and still doesn't know how much effort goes into the things I make for her (even though she appreciates them more than either of the other two girls); or C -- mad that she thinks my time is worth so little that I will take it at the holidays to make her an UGLY sweater. I decided to be pleased
> 
> I informed her that I don't own any ugly yard because life is too short to knit with ugly yarn  however I do have a sweater made to look like a Crayola box so it is in the ugliest color imaginable. so now I'm making the two hour round trip to take the sweater to her because she has to work late tonight and doesn't have time to come get it. she's 26 years old so it's probably too late for me to start with the object lesson about planning ahead and reaping the consequences of not planning ahead,
> so I'll just take her the sweater (sigh)


Why don't you just Fedex overnight and send her the bill. The drive is way too long.


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## dotdot (Feb 6, 2012)

arm knit something / it is bound to be icky ugly and gross


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## snwyowl91 (Jan 16, 2013)

MOM-Maker of Miracles


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## knittingnanna19 (Nov 6, 2013)

At my age I no longer have a mother to ask for the odd miracle. I just try to do for my kids as she did for me.


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## TacoSoup (Mar 5, 2014)

I tried to teach that lesson to my son in the 5th grade. A mom had mentioned that they all needed costumes the following week for a play they were doing, but he never mentioned it. So I did nothing. The night before dress rehearsal, he told me that he needed a costume. I said that the fabric stores were closed but I had some burlap bags he could use (he was a pauper). He simply cut holes for his head and arms and tied a belt around his waist. Everyone loved his costume!! He did not learn the lesson!


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## NYBev (Aug 23, 2011)

babsbarb said:


> I would go to the nearest thrift store and pick up a Christmas sweater, then stop at the $ store to buy embellishments. A quick wash and dry and add the "crap" and there you go.


Now that's a great idea!


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## itzzbarb (May 21, 2011)

She is not too old to be taught to be thoughtful of others, think ahead, and to be considerate. When it comes to something like this, tell her to go buy one or do without. Just my opinion.


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## MoMo (Apr 28, 2011)

Oh!!! So my daughter DOES have a twin somewhere in this world.... she is 32 and of the "I know you will drop everything and come running just because I asked" variety that is born naturally when one is an only child....totally our doing... and I would have gotten in the car for the drive, too!!!

Long Live Miracle Moms!!!!!


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## silvrepen (Oct 1, 2014)

"I would go to the nearest thrift store and pick up a Christmas sweater, then stop at the $ store to buy embellishments. A quick wash and dry and add the "crap" and there you go."

Quote from Babsbarb. Wow! What a great Mom you are. But don't we all go out of the way for our kids, all the time trying to decide if we feel put upon or if we feel revered. :?


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## silvrepen (Oct 1, 2014)

"I would go to the nearest thrift store and pick up a Christmas sweater, then stop at the $ store to buy embellishments. A quick wash and dry and add the "crap" and there you go."

Quote from Babsbarb. Wow! What a great Mom you are. But don't we all go out of the way for our kids, all the time trying to decide if we feel put upon or if we feel revered. :?


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## ladybug48 (Jul 1, 2012)

You are a great mom! However, I do like BabsBarb's suggestion. Merry Holidays to you and yours!


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## Crochetnana (Dec 17, 2014)

Oh yes, I can totally relate! My 29 year old daughter volunteered me to make 14 children's hats for her Christmas party where they provide needy children with winter items and Christmas gifts. This would have been fine, but she needed them all done within 1 week! I am still rather new at my craft, but I had to explain to her that there was no way I could get all that done in that amount of time, but I would be happy to do it for them for next year!


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## Gweneth 1946 (May 20, 2012)

Well you are the good mother. I have informed my grandchildren if they want fleece pants made for Christmas then they have to let me know by September. A few weeks ago I received an e mail from one grand daughter wanting pj's made out of table cloth material (gingham) in pink with strawberries. I thought it was cute. But I told her it will have to be for Easter. do they think you just pull that stuff out of a hat? I have to find gingham with strawberries first and I doubt I will find that around here. Plus both girls wanted lap tops for Christmas so I went in on that. I guess they have nothing to loose in asking. :roll:


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## cavedwellersmum (Aug 14, 2013)

One of my sons ( 23 ) found some Bernstein Bears pj MAterial for little kids and purchased a large quantity cam home and asked for PJ's He wanted them to wear to a mates 21st they wer all wearing onsies he wanted to be different ( for once he gave me 1 months notice so I could do it) and they were a hit

Like the Simpsons and Ninja turtle Jerseys I made my Great Niece and Nephew ( his mates all wante one as well ) I did say sorry No ask your own Mums


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## cavedwellersmum (Aug 14, 2013)

Though in saying that For a couple of them I will knit them for their next birthdays I have several months lol and so much wool in my Wool cupboard


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## nit witty (Dec 29, 2011)

seamer45 said:


> I put a stop to the "Mom I need it tomorrow" thing when our 3 girls were in elementary school.


By trying to fulfill her unreasonable request, you are only continuing her ability to do it. She will never learn to respect your time or you if you jump every time she has one of these unreasonable requests.


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## Knitcrazydeborah (Oct 25, 2011)

SwampCatNana said:


> It is NEVER too late to teach that lesson!


Amen!


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## rasputin (Apr 21, 2013)

JillF said:


> I know exactly how you feel. A week ago my nutritionist at my dialysis clinic asked me to knit a Christmas Stocking like the older ones that her grandmother had made for her family. I told her no promises, but I'd try to get it done by Christmas. I also told her not to show it to anyone there, as I don't want more requests. Her answer was, oh well, after you do mine, you'll know how to do it, so you could just whip them out and make some money. I said no thanks, but "whip them out?" What a laugh.


 WOW! I guess we just make it look too easy! they must think you are an elf! lol


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## Knitcrazydeborah (Oct 25, 2011)

I do NOT mean to criticize, but it has been my experience that you reap what you sew. 
My husbands Mother waited on her 4 kids...hand & foot - they totally knew NOTHING about: cooking, laundry, shopping, budgets, money management. 2 boys, 2 girls released into the world totally unable to do a darned thing for themselves.
The 2 girls eventually learned what they need to know, but too late to choose reliable partners. Now living hand to mouth.
Of the two boys, one married a woman just like himself. Still floundering 3 kids and 20 years later.
The oldest married me. I was raised by an independent mother and a very resourceful father. In our family everyone pitched in, did their share & then some, and learned how to take care of themselves. So as a young bride I informed my DH that it was time to grow up & learn how to take care of himself. I taught him how to cook, clean, do laundry and balance a checkbook. 33 years later, we're fine and we are the only siblings taking care of the elderly parents. My dear mother in law - who I adore - still scratches her head and can't figure out why 3 of her kids are having "so much trouble getting their lives together". I know the reason but will never, ever tell her what I think. Kids who are not taught life lessons early in life...regardless of the good intentions of their parents..end up struggling. Sad, but true.

And oh yes, you love your daughter enough to make that long drive to deliver the "ugly" sweater. But I'm wondering now...whose fault is it REALLY that she doesn't understand or appreciate how much time and effort you put into your lovely knitted projects. 
I've had the same type of issue myself, and I'm pretty sure that all I have to do is look in the mirror to find the reason!


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## cavedwellersmum (Aug 14, 2013)

Knitcrazydeborah said:


> I do NOT mean to criticize, but it has been my experience that you reap what you sew.
> My husbands Mother waited on her 4 kids...hand & foot - they totally knew NOTHING about: cooking, laundry, shopping, budgets, money management. 2 boys, 2 girls released into the world totally unable to do a darned thing for themselves.
> The 2 girls eventually learned what they need to know, but too late to choose reliable partners. Now living hand to mouth.
> Of the two boys, one married a woman just like himself. Still floundering 3 kids and 20 years later.
> ...


that is very critical in my opinion

The part about your sister inlaws choosing unreliable men I chose a very unreliable man for my first husband and it had nothing to do with my ability to function in the wide world I was always independant, it had more to do with his ability to lie and put on a totally different face. ( he had affairs and was violent oh and the affairs were with other men) I divorced him

My sons ( with my 2nd husband 1st one and I did not reproduce) have me mothering them but they can cook and clean and do laundry and sew on a button ( no they cannot knit or sew a grament though)

Youngest one's girlfriend is a babe in woods when it comes to alot of things but she is willing to learn and is doing so while they are living under our roof.

I would drive kms to help my kids and they would to help me so it does go both ways

And yes I have done the last minute thing but the boys have done last minute things for me too

Yes we reap what we sow, the love, help and understanding flows both ways


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## girlxr8 (Sep 21, 2014)

what us mums do for our children. It's called LOVE.xx


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## cavedwellersmum (Aug 14, 2013)

girlxr8 said:


> what us mums do for our children. It's called LOVE.xx


And when they hug you it is all worth it Specially with boys


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## wendyirene (Jul 2, 2013)

Oh Joanna, forgive me but I had to laugh. Kids are the same wherever they are and however old they are. Our 36 year old son got himself into a situation where he had rented out his own house for a set period, split up with his girlfriend and flatmate so what to do - move back in with Mum and Dad of course. He thinks we are delighted to have him taking over half our house, eating everything edible, and getting all his washing, cooking etc done for him. But all parents would do the same I guess. Maybe it's time to move into a one bedroom apartment!!


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## Knitcrazydeborah (Oct 25, 2011)

cavedwellersmum said:


> that is very critical in my opinion
> 
> The part about your sister inlaws choosing unreliable men I chose a very unreliable man for my first husband and it had nothing to do with my ability to function in the wide world I was always independant, it had more to do with his ability to lie and put on a totally different face. ( he had affairs and was violent oh and the affairs were with other men) I divorced him
> 
> ...


_____________________________________________________________

Sounds like you have agreed with everything I said. AND I did not criticize her for driving to help her kids (who wouldn't?) I said that if her dear sweet daughter didn't understand the effort put into knitting - then perhaps it's because she never had the benefit of being taught what it meant.


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## Kathie (Mar 29, 2011)

JoannaP said:


> my husband reminded me of the old axiom "lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.". I probably cut her a bit more slack because we adopted her when she was 14 and she had many habit patterns established by then. It is so nice for me that she considers me Mom and would be comfortable to ask that I pretty much bend over backwards for her


I like your husbands reply. I'm going to try to remember that one. I think people who make requests like this have no idea how much time and effort goes into knitting things. They probably don't realize the cost either. In the past, I've had a couple people say to me that it was nice that I could knit because then I didn't have to buy people presents.
WHAT? I think they were just ignorant, not malicious though.


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## MarilynKnits (Aug 30, 2011)

cathy47 said:


> I would have gotten a bag put punch of lose yarn and a pattern in it and given it to her. and told her heres your sweater. Someone made the same request of me 5 hrs. before she wanted it. I did just that balls of yarn needles and pattern I handed it to her and I told her to have a go at it that I don't do last minute requests. She didn't much like it but oh well that be the price of being inconsiderate. Other co-workers had a good laugh.


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## cavedwellersmum (Aug 14, 2013)

Very good MarilynKnits I did laugh when I saw it


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## wlk4fun647 (Apr 17, 2011)

So much going on here... yes, no matter how old our children are, they "do" think we are miracle workers... and we can fix just about anything when they'e in trouble or need help. But then they want to be thought of as adults. It is flattering to think they can turn to us for help, but sometimes they don't consider the work or trouble they put us thru to get what they want or need, when a little planning or work on their end would have solved it themselves. I guess it takes being a parent yourself to realize this...
btw, people who don't knit "just don't get it"...


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## nitnurse (May 20, 2012)

Even grown up 'kids'can take their mothers for granted. When they have kids of their own, that is usually when reality hits and they truly begin to appreciate what a great mum you have been to them and still are. Seems to be the way of the world. I hope she sees the light soon. Twenty six is getting a bit old to still be expecting mum to pull the rabbit out of the hat at a moments notice. Your time is valuable and you are busy and rushed off your feet too!


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## Elin (Sep 17, 2011)

So, when did she find out about this party that she's calling you the day before the event? I don't mean to sound fresh but we teach people how to treat us. Please--no comments--I'm saying this from my own experience. I finally learned.


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## nitnurse (May 20, 2012)

wlk4fun647 said:


> So much going on here... yes, no matter how old our children are, they "do" think we are miracle workers... and we can fix just about anything when they'e in trouble or need help. But then they want to be thought of as adults. It is flattering to think they can turn to us for help, but sometimes they don't consider the work or trouble they put us thru to get what they want or need, when a little planning or work on their end would have solved it themselves. I guess it takes being a parent yourself to realize this...
> btw, people who don't knit "just don't get it"...


Hi Julianne,

I hope you don't mind me saying this. Is that you in your Avatar? If it is then you resemble the actress Sally Field.


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## Corndolly (Mar 1, 2014)

JillF said:


> I think it would have been wonderful to be able to ask and depend on a mother like that. Everyone should have a mother like you.


I so agree! I think you are a wonderful Mum!


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## BethP0201 (Dec 5, 2014)

Amooozing said:


> I get the same thing from my daughter, but more to the point, when did these beautiful creations become "ugly sweaters"? That really fuzzes me up!


I said the same thing! LOL. They used to be just Christmas Sweaters, until a few years ago! :-(


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## BethP0201 (Dec 5, 2014)

knitnanny said:


> You are the best Mom ever (well, only while she wears the sweater!!). I have done things like that for my kids and have never regretted it. As for being 26yrs old, it's only a number and, until our kids have lived on their own for a while and had their own kids, they will not know the hard work, time and patience we have used on them!!
> Smile all the way there and all the way back, Mom!!


As I said before, I would have done the same.
Before I becane a crocheter/knitter/ crafter etc., I had no ide of the time and money involved either!
Just yesterday I wore a beautiful knitted vest my mother had made me years ago, after I saw hers and asked for a duplicate! I never thought of the cost, or time. She came through!!!


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## BethP0201 (Dec 5, 2014)

I must add the vest was an intricate lacy pattern!


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## Sarah Jo (Nov 6, 2011)

Wow!! You are a great mom. I cannot knit fast enough to do anything. It takes me a week to make a pair of mittens. I guess I am a very slow. But I greatly admire people like you that can knit sweaters and other things for people. 

Your daughter is very lucky to have you to knit for her. :lol: :-D :thumbup:


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## cavedwellersmum (Aug 14, 2013)

Elin said:


> So, when did she find out about this party that she's calling you the day before the event? I don't mean to sound fresh but we teach people how to treat us. Please--no comments--I'm saying this from my own experience. I finally learned.


sorry but I am commenting mainly because it is a discussion and your opinion does warrant a response ( and I cannot help myself I do not like being told not to comment when someone has made a comment)

Yes we teach others how to treat us, but sometimes the parent child relationship can be different, An Adult child occasionally can be the "child" again when they need help even if it is help like an outfit for an upcoming event at short notice.

I think most of us have been there and done that. And while we do install respect into our kids they know Mum and Dad are there for them


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## knitpick1 (Dec 13, 2014)

I used to tell my kids. "Sit down dear because this will come as a shock to you, but contrary to belief your mom is not a miracle worker. We've only had one of those people and He is in heaven".


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## cavedwellersmum (Aug 14, 2013)

knitpick1 said:


> I used to tell my kids. "Sit down dear because this will come as a shock to you, but contrary to belief your mom is not a miracle worker. We've only had one of those people and He is in heaven".


I like this


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## margieknits (Feb 15, 2013)

My daughter sent me a comic with the grandchild opening a Christmas package with a "do it yourself sweater note that only had yarn in the package." Can't locate it otherwise I would send it at this appropriate moment!


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## ummirain (Feb 1, 2013)

This is too funny


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## RP1019 (May 23, 2014)

jonibee said:


> Evidently you always came through for her so why would it be any different now..It kind of comical for her to think that you're able to produce an article on such short notice, but you have ...haven't you. So take it as a compliment that she believes that you're the miracle worker....


Because you are....


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## Balla (Oct 17, 2014)

Gotta love kids. But it's just what any mother would do. No matter how old they are, your kids will always trust that mum can fix any problem. Good for you.


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## Kansas g-ma (Mar 7, 2014)

JoannaP said:


> so now I'm making the two hour round trip to take the sweater to her because she has to work late tonight and doesn't have time to come get it. she's 26 years old so it's probably too late for me to start with the object lesson about planning ahead and reaping the consequences of not planning ahead,
> so I'll just take her the sweater (sigh)


I am howling with laughter-- sounds like a few I've had with daughters/granddaughters but not necessarily about knitting. TY for brightening my evening. Sometimes it just helps to know others end up in your position! Have a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.


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## Renie7777 (Dec 17, 2014)

This was sooo much fun to read. I'm glad I'm not the only one who gets these kinds of "requests"


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## pammash (Oct 27, 2013)

And when you got done laughing? A friend asked to "whip up" sweater for her friend 3 weeks before Christmas quite a few years ago. I told her I was flattered she thought I could do one that fast, but she should've asked another 3 wks sooner.


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## AngieR (Jul 22, 2013)

What a good mom you are! At least she thought of going to the thrift store. It's too bad that you have to drive so long to deliver it. Hopefully, you'll get to spend some time with her.


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## kareb (Dec 30, 2013)

JoannaP said:


> Just got a call from my middle daughter. She wants to know if I have any ugly yarn that I could make her an ugly sweater for an ugly sweater party. Oh and by the way the party is tomorrow night! If a whole sweater would take too long, I could just do a sweater vest. I don't know whether to be: A -- pleased that she thinks her mom can work miracles; B -- sad that she has lived with me so long and still doesn't know how much effort goes into the things I make for her (even though she appreciates them more than either of the other two girls); or C -- mad that she thinks my time is worth so little that I will take it at the holidays to make her an UGLY sweater. I decided to be pleased
> 
> I informed her that I don't own any ugly yard because life is too short to knit with ugly yarn  however I do have a sweater made to look like a Crayola box so it is in the ugliest color imaginable. so now I'm making the two hour round trip to take the sweater to her because she has to work late tonight and doesn't have time to come get it. she's 26 years old so it's probably too late for me to start with the object lesson about planning ahead and reaping the consequences of not planning ahead,
> so I'll just take her the sweater (sigh)


I'm sorry, you raised this child? Forgive me, let her reap the consequences.


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## Grandydede (Nov 4, 2012)

Balla said:


> Gotta love kids. But it's just what any mother would do. No matter how old they are, your kids will always trust that mum can fix any problem. Good for you.


I totally agree!


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## wlk4fun647 (Apr 17, 2011)

Hi Nitnurse!
Yes, that's me, a couple of years ago with longer and darker hair.
I've decided to let it go gray, and it's sort of half brown, half blond right now, and it's much shorter... I've also gained a few pounds, so that's why I haven't updated my avitar yet. I'm waiting for my hair to grow back.
Have a very Happy Christmas and New Years!
Julianne


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## past (Apr 3, 2011)

I suppose she is also the one who told you at 8 pm that she needed a book from the library so she could get it read and a report written that was due for her 8 am class the next morning.
I commend your trying to meet your daughter's needs on such short notice. If my daughter would have done that to me I think I would have just laughed and went in for a bubble bath.


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## MarilynKnits (Aug 30, 2011)

margieknits said:


> My daughter sent me a comic with the grandchild opening a Christmas package with a "do it yourself sweater note that only had yarn in the package." Can't locate it otherwise I would send it at this appropriate moment!


F Minus two days ago. See the previous page on this topic.


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## hillclimber222 (Oct 7, 2014)

I'm so happy to find out that there are other moms out there who do this stuff for their grown kids! We know that it is not necessary or logical. We know that they could get it some other way. We know it would be much easier to go buy one or just say no. But ... What part of being a mom is necessary, logical OR easy?? I don't know why we do it! It's nice to know that our kids think we can do anything (effortlessly, of course!?). And it never hurts to feel like a hero to someone!!!!


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## SGMMontgomery (Mar 23, 2014)

hillclimber222 said:


> I'm so happy to find out that there are other moms out there who do this stuff for their grown kids! We know that it is not necessary or logical. We know that they could get it some other way. We know it would be much easier to go buy one or just say no. But ... What part of being a mom is necessary, logical OR easy?? I don't know why we do it! It's nice to know that our kids think we can do anything (effortlessly, of course!?). And it never hurts to feel like a hero to someone!!!!


Amen


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## Dsynr (Jun 3, 2011)

hillclimber222 said:


> I'm so happy to find out that there are other moms out there who do this stuff for their grown kids! We know that it is not necessary or logical. We know that they could get it some other way. We know it would be much easier to go buy one or just say no. But ... What part of being a mom is necessary, logical OR easy?? I don't know why we do it! It's nice to know that our kids think we can do anything (effortlessly, of course!?). And it never hurts to feel like a hero to someone!!!!


BUT are you the hero or the enabler to their irresponsibility? I'm just wondering.
I taught my own kids to do for themselves because I had health issues and I felt that if I checked out before they were grown, at least they'd know how to do SOME things for themselves. I also felt that they would not be such a burden to some other family member that way.


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## PaKnitter (Mar 7, 2011)

Dsynr said:


> BUT are you the hero or the enabler to their irresponsibility? I'm just wondering.
> I taught my own kids to do for themselves because I had health issues and I felt that if I checked out before they were grown, at least they'd know how to do SOME things for themselves. I also felt that they would not be such a burden to some other family member that way.


I agree...no health problems but I know I won't be here forever and I want my daughters to be able to take care of themselves.


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## SGMMontgomery (Mar 23, 2014)

Dsynr said:


> BUT are you the hero or the enabler to their irresponsibility? I'm just wondering.
> I taught my own kids to do for themselves because I had health issues and I felt that if I checked out before they were grown, at least they'd know how to do SOME things for themselves. I also felt that they would not be such a burden to some other family member that way.


Wow...its a sweater for a party...not $10,000 to bail her out of credit card debt. Its possible she got the night off at the last minute and was freed up to go...or found someone to watch the kids at the last minute...or whatever reason she might have decided to go to a party that for some reason or another she previously wasn't going to.

Or maybe she did plan on getting a sweater and thought she had plenty of time and started picking up shifts at work or got sick and couldn't get out or any number of things.

Or maybe she just planned bad.

Its a sweater...for a party. Really???

I fail to see that jumping in at the last minute to save the day...for a sweater party...would make or break a person's ability to be self-sufficient and capable of handling her life with responsibility.

So...if I die young and my kids don't have me to turn to at the last minute for a sweater...I bet they will be okay. In fact, I know they will. Because I taught my children the value of being self-sufficient and responsible. But I also taught my children that it never hurts to ask for help...never. And if my kids can't use me as a resource...then I am not doing my job.

Remember...just because someone asks...doesn't mean you have to do. If I can't...I can't. I taught them that, too. I don't owe them anything...and they don't owe me anything. But we love to do for each other and I am sorry for any mother that refuses to help their kids for the principal of it. Sad.


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## SGMMontgomery (Mar 23, 2014)

PaKnitter said:


> I agree...no health problems but I know I won't be here forever and I want my daughters to be able to take care of themselves.


Its a sweater party...not feeding themselves or keeping a roof over their heads or holding down a job.

Its a sweater...

A sweater...

Sweater.


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## SGMMontgomery (Mar 23, 2014)

Sweater


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## silvrepen (Oct 1, 2014)

Well said! :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## JillF (Feb 17, 2011)

Exactly.


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## sherrit (Jul 20, 2014)

toast said:


> Daughters - you got to love them. Remember when they were little and you could do and fix anything, then they went to school and you knew a little less, but could still fix some things. Teen years you knew Nothing. Isn't it nice now that they are grown that you are back to the time of being able to fix and make anything and everything.


 :lol: :lol: :thumbup:


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## hillclimber222 (Oct 7, 2014)

WELL SAID!!!! Thank you! It's a joy to be able to do something for my kids (and others). What's even better is that they know I expect nothing in return!


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