# A wee bit annoyed, but my own fault



## Alva (Dec 20, 2012)

I was sitting at my knitting group in a small cafe, sewing on buttons to some baby jackets when a young couple came in and sat at the table next to us. They had a brand new baby in a baby carrier. I love giving my knitting away as a gift and went up to the couple and asked if it was a boy or a little girl. I was holding a beautiful hand knitted hooded jacket with little toggle buttons in blue. Their baby was a girl and she was one week old, I admired her and then went back to my seat and finished off a pretty jacket knitted in Patons Snowflake Yarn, this was for a girl, so I handed it to them, they were very pleased and thanked me. Later a lady, a total stranger, came up to me and asked if I would sell the little hooded jacket for a gift for a friends baby. I was taken by surprise and did not know what to charge, the lady then said that she would give something to charity if she could have the jacket, I said ok. She went back for her purse then laid a £5 note on my table and mumbled something about, "you can buy yourself a cup of coffee". All I will say is she got a very good bargain and a very beautiful gift. But mad at myself at letting her have it. I am now knitting another one the same and it's not for sale! Anyone else had this experience?


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## hildy3 (Jan 29, 2011)

I really don't see your problem. The first couple were strangers, too. The second asked nicely and like a lot of people feel they must pay something. Buy yarn with her 5.


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## debsu (Jul 26, 2011)

How RUDE! Kudos to you for giving it to her!


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## sam0767 (Jun 20, 2012)

Wow!!! That was rude. I know it must have threw you off to not say anything to her with what she gave you. I dont know how much it was itwasin American dollars but her commentto you when she gave it to you was enough to draw a conclusion.


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## martina (Jun 24, 2012)

You gave one baby jacket to one couple directly. The second one you have given indirectly and got £5 for doing it. If you think of it that way you haven't a problem, surely.


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## caligrlknits (May 6, 2013)

Yes I've had people ask for things they see me knitting in public I always say it's a gift which is what I have always done with my knitting. I think they see bargain priced yarn and think knitted projects are dirt cheap, and besides that they think all knitters just love to knit and I guess they don't consider our time is worth anything. I have a friend that tells these cheap skates that have the nerve to ask for something for nothing that she is knitting for charity and will be begin bidding for the item at $100 if they are interested. That shuts them up right away. I even have close friends that I know have been tempted to ask me to knit items they see in magazines etc for nieces and nephews. I tell them knitting is an art and taking orders for items would take all the pleasure out of my art, which is true for me. I don't even like to knit for others for gifts, they are completely unappreciated. There are a few high end baby boutiques that sell expensive hand knit items to those that are glad to pay a good price for hand made heirloom items they could never find anywhere else! I haven't personally taken anything there to sell but I'm getting tempted. I know exactly how you feel. I hate it when I give in to people that have such nerve.


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## Oakdale (Dec 16, 2014)

That is very frustrating for sure. Hopefully she will make a nice donation. I love that you have a knitting group. I would love to find one where I live. I think the camaraderie and support of a knitting group would be wonderful. Lucky you and all those in your group. What a wonderful way to spend time together.


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## hildy3 (Jan 29, 2011)

Wow! Cheapskate! That's pretty harsh. People who don't knit/crochet have no idea what to offer. AND..why must we be paid for every kind gesture? I can crochet a potholder while flying somewhere and always end up giving it to someone who admires it. I have just made 5 snoods for a friend "free". I made this caveat before ever starting. "I have the yarn, the time, and you are NOT to "owe" me anything.! We both grow interesting plants and I said we'll swap plants occasionally..done! God gave me the ability to do many things and I love sharing without pay. I'm outta here. Have a nice day and "don't sweat the small stuff, and it's all small stuff."


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## pablambert (Apr 19, 2014)

I hope she does follow through and make the donation. Kudos for the generous impulse you had to gift the young couple with the sweater.


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## alvadee (Nov 21, 2013)

I would let it go as I learned to accept people as they are. You are a kind generous person and that makes up for some of the duds out there. From another Alva.


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## Raybo (Mar 12, 2011)

Alva said:


> I was sitting at my knitting group in a small cafe,..... mad at myself at letting her have it. I am now knitting another one the same and it's not for sale! Anyone else had this experience?


 What, if anything, did the other members of your knitting group think of this? :?


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## LadyBecket (Jun 26, 2012)

What gall!!! You gave the young folks the sweater out of love, very commendable!! The other lady was just nasty!! If anyone asks again how much you would charge take the price of the yarn, double it and then double that price for labor and give them that price.
Yarn $5.00 X 2= $10. X 2= $20.00. Most of the time it still isn't enough but a lot of folks don't want to pay what a project is worth.
You just can't be nice to some people, they will take advantage of you.


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## Linday (Jan 22, 2012)

I don't think the amount of money was the problem. I believe the comment about buying herself a cup of coffee was the issue. Was the amount given meant to be the donation and was she saying that Alva was the charity? based on the explanation from Alva, I would have been very upset. The lady was rude but I doubt she knows that she was being more than a bit rude.


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## Alva (Dec 20, 2012)

Yes, the five pounds was the donation.


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## Alva (Dec 20, 2012)

Thank you.


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## samdog13 (May 24, 2014)

Oakdale said:


> I love that you have a knitting group. I would love to find one where I live. I think the camaraderie and support of a knitting group would be wonderful. Lucky you and all those in your group. What a wonderful way to spend time together.


If you want to find (or form) a knitting group ask at your local library, house of worship and/or community center. Maybe one is already in being, or you can spread the request by word of mouth. Check your local community news. You are "in hiding" so I cannot tell where you are. Good luck in your search and let us know your progress.


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## Oakdale (Dec 16, 2014)

Thank you. I have checked the local libraries. They do have monthly meet ups but usually they meet during the work week in the middle of the day. I work full time so I can't go. Ideally I would love a group that met in the evening during the week perhaps once a month or so. I will try your other suggestions. Thank you.


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## scumbugusa (Oct 10, 2011)

I also don't know why you are upset, the second lady asked and purchased your sweater. You gave the first away. If the first couple had had boy and girl twins would you have been generous and given both sweaters away to them, or not given at all?

I know Food/Beverages in UK and I assume Scotland are ridculous prices, so her comment of buy yourself a cup of coffee was not meant to be mean, more likely her way of saying thank you.

Cheer up and be happy that your work was so admired.


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## Alva (Dec 20, 2012)

sam0767 said:


> Wow!!! That was rude. I know it must have threw you off to not say anything to her with what she gave you. I dont know how much it was itwasin American dollars but her commentto you when she gave it to you was enough to draw a conclusion.


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## Alva (Dec 20, 2012)

Sorry about that sam0767, the £5.00 is probably worth $2.50, not enough to even buy the yarn or the buttons. But I have got over it. Just be nice is my New Year resolution!


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## Finnsbride (Feb 8, 2011)

Could she have intended to give something to charity in addition to the 5?


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## Alva (Dec 20, 2012)

Oakdale said:


> Thank you. I have checked the local libraries. They do have monthly meet ups but usually they meet during the work week in the middle of the day. I work full time so I can't go. Ideally I would love a group that met in the evening during the week perhaps once a month or so. I will try your other suggestions. Thank you.


Ask at your LYS, my local one has an open evening.


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## Alva (Dec 20, 2012)

Finnsbride said:


> Could she have intended to give something to charity in addition to the 5?


I very much doubt it.


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## Finnsbride (Feb 8, 2011)

Sorry that happened to you after your generous gift to the little girl.


Alva said:


> I very much doubt it.


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## kiwiannie (Jul 30, 2011)

That was rude and unkind ,even an insult to you,some people are beyond belief,if it was me i would have been really cheesed off. :thumbdown: :thumbdown: :thumbdown:


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## annweb (Feb 23, 2012)

people who don't knit / crochet etc.have no idea of the cost of materials .
Even buttons can be expensive . This person took advantage of the situation ,probably un knowingly but some will always be like that.


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## nmorris (Oct 14, 2014)

The only time I have given knitted items away to a 'stranger' was when I had my firstborn, a boy. I had knitted a beautiful outfit in pink and white - not a lot of good for a boy, so gave the set to one of the new mums who had a girl. She was very grateful and felt guilty as I wouldn't let her pay. Now I just knit for myself and family - usually on request. My sister often asks me to knit baby coats for pregnant friends and always gives me £5.00. It covers the cost of the wool which probably costs about £2.00 for newborn knits. I have told her and my niece that if they want anything else knitting they will have to buy the pattern and wool themselves - didn't go down well.


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## RobbiD (Nov 13, 2012)

Alva said:


> I was sitting at my knitting group in a small cafe, sewing on buttons to some baby jackets when a young couple came in and sat at the table next to us. They had a brand new baby in a baby carrier. I love giving my knitting away as a gift and went up to the couple and asked if it was a boy or a little girl. I was holding a beautiful hand knitted hooded jacket with little toggle buttons in blue. Their baby was a girl and she was one week old, I admired her and then went back to my seat and finished off a pretty jacket knitted in Patons Snowflake Yarn, this was for a girl, so I handed it to them, they were very pleased and thanked me. Later a lady, a total stranger, came up to me and asked if I would sell the little hooded jacket for a gift for a friends baby. I was taken by surprise and did not know what to charge, the lady then said that she would give something to charity if she could have the jacket, I said ok. She went back for her purse then laid a £5 note on my table and mumbled something about, "you can buy yourself a cup of coffee". All I will say is she got a very good bargain and a very beautiful gift. But mad at myself at letting her have it. I am now knitting another one the same and it's not for sale! Anyone else had this experience?


I'm sorry, but you agreed to give her the jacket for a charitable contribution, not payment directly to you. The money she gave you was a bonus. You do not know how much she gave to the charity (if anything), but that was what you agreed to. I would chalk this experience up to "live and learn".


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## lynnlassiter (Jun 30, 2011)

SHE was very rude!


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## JTM (Nov 18, 2012)

The second lady did ask to buy it... You didn't know what to charge her, she said she would give something to charity ...and gave you 5 Great bargain on her part...but she did give you something as well. I get that you do not feel that you were adequately compensated for your hard work... but it was a charitable act on your part... not so very different from your charitable act to the first couple....for which you got a thank you. That second lady also gave you a thank you... just in a different form by giving you the 5 (I have to admit being from the US...I am not sure what that would equate with here in the US...but do know it would not be much for the work involved)


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## dancewithmarg (Oct 2, 2012)

Alva said:


> Sorry about that sam0767, the £5.00 is probably worth $2.50, not enough to even buy the yarn or the buttons. But I have got over it. Just be nice is my New Year resolution!


Closer to $7.50 in US dollars


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## Katherine C (Oct 3, 2013)

alvadee said:


> I would let it go as I learned to accept people as they are. ...
> 
> :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## Czar-knitter (Aug 25, 2012)

scumbugusa said:


> I also don't know why you are upset, the second lady asked and purchased your sweater. You gave the first away. If the first couple had had boy and girl twins would you have been generous and given both sweaters away to them, or not given at all?
> 
> I know Food/Beverages in UK and I assume Scotland are ridculous prices, so her comment of buy yourself a cup of coffee was not meant to be mean, more likely her way of saying thank you.
> 
> Cheer up and be happy that your work was so admired.


 :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:

Totally agree. Perhaps she was trying to be generous in her own way, but lacks your grace (thus the mumbling) so it seemed abrupt and rude.

Please try to be as generous with your forgiveness.


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## jdwilhelm (Dec 6, 2011)

I would have been so pleased that someone wanted my work I would have given it away immediately!


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## justinjared (May 31, 2012)

I don't see the problem . you gave one away, then someone offered to buy one. where is problem. sat yes or no.


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## flitri (Jun 13, 2011)

The lady did say that she would give to charity, so maybe she meant that she will give to charity and gave you the money to buy yourself a coffee as well.


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## Ms Sue (Jun 5, 2013)

Focus on the good side. You surprised one couple with a lovely gift they will always remember because it was so unexpected and such a special thing and you weren't rude. I personally don't think the woman meant it to be rude, certainly she admired your work. People that don't do crafts truly don't know how much time is spent nor the cost of good yarn. You did two good deeds!!


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## inishowen (May 28, 2011)

dancewithmarg said:


> Closer to $7.50 in US dollars


No that's not right. It is about $3.


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## heffernb (May 30, 2011)

Alva said:


> Sorry about that sam0767, the £5.00 is probably worth $2.50, not enough to even buy the yarn or the buttons. But I have got over it. Just be nice is my New Year resolution!


It's equal to $7.62.


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## String Queen (Apr 9, 2012)

I, on the other hand, tend to make my prices high enough that I can at least buy nice yarn to knit another one.


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## gigi 722 (Oct 25, 2011)

Generosity is it's own reward.


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## Swtthng (Mar 3, 2013)

I see it as two different acts: she said she would donate money to a charity; then, gave you a few pounds to buy a cup of coffee.


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## inishowen (May 28, 2011)

heffernb said:


> It's equal to $7.62.


Wrong!


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## mrswyzard (Jul 13, 2011)

After I posted my "blankets for quads" here I posted the pictures on Facebook for friends to see. I got a personal message from a friend who wanted to order one for a friend. I told her $120 American, would cover yarn, time/work and postage. She was appalled at the price. No more comments to buy one.


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## ElyseKnox (Sep 16, 2011)

Alva,
As I read the story, I thought that she was giving you just a little something AND would make a donation to charity. Of course, I don't KNOW that is case, but if you don't know for sure one way or the other why not believe that she is doing both? Regardless of which it is, what's done is done but I have found that everyone gains when I believe the best about a situation.



Alva said:


> I was sitting at my knitting group in a small cafe, sewing on buttons to some baby jackets when a young couple came in and sat at the table next to us. They had a brand new baby in a baby carrier. I love giving my knitting away as a gift and went up to the couple and asked if it was a boy or a little girl. I was holding a beautiful hand knitted hooded jacket with little toggle buttons in blue. Their baby was a girl and she was one week old, I admired her and then went back to my seat and finished off a pretty jacket knitted in Patons Snowflake Yarn, this was for a girl, so I handed it to them, they were very pleased and thanked me. Later a lady, a total stranger, came up to me and asked if I would sell the little hooded jacket for a gift for a friends baby. I was taken by surprise and did not know what to charge, the lady then said that she would give something to charity if she could have the jacket, I said ok. She went back for her purse then laid a £5 note on my table and mumbled something about, "you can buy yourself a cup of coffee". All I will say is she got a very good bargain and a very beautiful gift. But mad at myself at letting her have it. I am now knitting another one the same and it's not for sale! Anyone else had this experience?


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## ElyseKnox (Sep 16, 2011)

I am frankly saddened by those who are assuming the second lady in this story was rude. We don't know that. The KP community is so supportive in so many ways--can we not extend our support and ability to see good to others around us.

Yes, there ARE rude, mean, nasty people out there and at times it is VERY obvious that we have crossed paths with one of them. This incident just does not qualify. There are NO FACTS given to support considering her rude--not socially adept perhaps, but not rude.

A quote from Plato:
"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."


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## lovelandjanice (Aug 8, 2012)

Maybe she went home and donated to her favorite charity - the money she laid on you table was a little extra for you.


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## jeanne63 (Mar 14, 2014)

hildy3 said:


> I really don't see your problem. The first couple were strangers, too. The second asked nicely and like a lot of people feel they must pay something. Buy yarn with her 5.


I don't see the problem, either. :?: :?: :?:


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## dauntiekay (Jan 18, 2014)

I wonder what she would have done if you told her she could have it for $50--at least you would have your beautiful knitted jacket to give to charity or what ever you wanted or $50 for donation. It was generous of you but it was not so nice of her to leave so little as a donation.


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## lainey_h (Dec 14, 2013)

I think it was quite nervy, but you responded in a kind way. People's presumptions can be hard to stomach - I think it would have been easier if she hadn't told you to buy a cup of coffee after agreeing to a charitable donation. How thoughtless! But, like others have said, maybe she'll do both, the coffee money and the donation. It's done, so move on and be wary of the next stranger that asks for a knitting handout!


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## Rosette (Oct 7, 2011)

£5 is approx $7.50.


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## Kaiess (Jan 25, 2013)

inishowen said:


> Wrong!


I have just checked on a conversion site and $7.6 is correct.


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## Sneezy62 (Nov 29, 2012)

hildy3 said:


> I really don't see your problem. The first couple were strangers, too. The second asked nicely and like a lot of people feel they must pay something. Buy yarn with her 5.


I hear where you are coming from (in a nonsensical way).
But the first was given from the heart and received from the heart.
The second did not value the sweater. I felt she saw it as a cheap nice gift for giving someone else. 
When giving away something you made, you want it to be your choice. She felt on the spot, caught unaware of how to handle it.
I bet it won't happen again.


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## Swtthng (Mar 3, 2013)

Is £ the same as a Euro?


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## grandmann (Feb 4, 2011)

It takes another knitter to know the price of yarn and truly appreciate your workmanship. 
You cannot justify a cup of coffee for the price of yarn & time.


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## bwtyer (Oct 31, 2012)

I am hoping that she did donate to charity as promised and treated you to coffee as a bonus.


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## 5Pat (Aug 29, 2011)

I think it was wonderful that you gave the first lady the sweater. The second lady just wanted to do something and had no knowledge of the true value of your work.

Your works must be beautiful. I think you should look at it that someone admire your works, and found a good home.

I don't sell my work because I know most people are not going to cover the cost of yarn and labor.


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## Ann DeGray (May 11, 2011)

Oakdale said:


> Thank you. I have checked the local libraries. They do have monthly meet ups but usually they meet during the work week in the middle of the day. I work full time so I can't go. Ideally I would love a group that met in the evening during the week perhaps once a month or so. I will try your other suggestions. Thank you.


Have you put your information on the KP forum? That's how I started our "Knitting With the Slightly Unraveled " group here in Omaha. We have been in existence for 2 1/2 years. We meet once a month, in my home, in the evening. Lovely group, eclectic on age as well as in knitting skills.

Some of the original group have moved away but we have about nine members each month. We have come to know each other well and all who are now in the group, as well as those who have moved away, have been wonderful people, wonderful friends.

Why not create your new topic right now while you're thinking about it? It may be easier than you thought!

Good luck!


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## the knitting nomad (Feb 1, 2015)

Just because someone demeans what we do,doesn't mean we have to be a participant. I would have never given her the sweater. Next time- and there will be a next time, let the rude person know how many hours at a living wage you have put into what you've made, triple the yarn cost, add that to the first amount and tell them that's how much you have invested in your piece without any profit. See how quickly they change their tune. We all need to value what we do.


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## missyern (Jan 23, 2011)

I don't believe the lady meant to be rude. She probably could not accept the sweater totally free so she will make a contribution to charity - AND she wanted to give you a small token.


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## vjh1530 (Oct 8, 2011)

5 GBP = 7.66 USD
British Pound Sterling (GBP) United States Dollar (USD)
1 GBP = 1.53 USD 1 USD = 0.65 GBP

Rates Updated: 07 February 2015 at 12:23:02 GMT

This is from a converter calculator. Hope it clears up the confusion.


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## Sunny70 (Jul 25, 2014)

I too think it was the comment, if the lady had said thank you and I wiill also make a contribution to xyz it would have been different. But I have learned that people are people!


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## JillF (Feb 17, 2011)

I know exactly how you felt. Two weeks before Christmas, my dietician at the dialysis clinic asked me to knit a Christmas stocking for her soon to be daughter in law. I didn't want any hard feelings, so I told her I would do it at no charge. She loved it, and so did the recipient. After Christmas she decided to give me a $15 gift card. I was perfectly fine with no payment, but the $15 made me feel like that's all she thought it was worth. I know she didn't mean it that way, but I would have been happier without the gift card. Might be silly, but that's how I felt.


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## 33141 (Aug 24, 2011)

Oakdale said:


> That is very frustrating for sure. Hopefully she will make a nice donation. I love that you have a knitting group. I would love to find one where I live. I think the camaraderie and support of a knitting group would be wonderful. Lucky you and all those in your group. What a wonderful way to spend time together.


Hi Oakdale, are you on Ravelry? You may want to join if you don't already belong, then search for groups in your area. I live in metro Atlanta, GA and there are many groups that meet at coffee shops and restaurants in the evening. Many times they eat dinner together and then knit.

I'm lucky that I'm retired and free to knit with my group midweek. We meet for lunch and then knit for 2 hours. It is really difficult to find somewhere in our area with decent food and good lighting. 90% of the places around here are sports bars with 20 TVs on (muted), loud music and cave like lighting! As a group, we have a really good time and help one another with knitting problems.


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## rasputin (Apr 21, 2013)

Alva said:


> I was sitting at my knitting group in a small cafe, sewing on buttons to some baby jackets when a young couple came in and sat at the table next to us. They had a brand new baby in a baby carrier. I love giving my knitting away as a gift and went up to the couple and asked if it was a boy or a little girl. I was holding a beautiful hand knitted hooded jacket with little toggle buttons in blue. Their baby was a girl and she was one week old, I admired her and then went back to my seat and finished off a pretty jacket knitted in Patons Snowflake Yarn, this was for a girl, so I handed it to them, they were very pleased and thanked me. Later a lady, a total stranger, came up to me and asked if I would sell the little hooded jacket for a gift for a friends baby. I was taken by surprise and did not know what to charge, the lady then said that she would give something to charity if she could have the jacket, I said ok. She went back for her purse then laid a £5 note on my table and mumbled something about, "you can buy yourself a cup of coffee". All I will say is she got a very good bargain and a very beautiful gift. But mad at myself at letting her have it. I am now knitting another one the same and it's not for sale! Anyone else had this experience?


that was a nice thing you did for the couple and baby. And shame on the other lady for taking advantage.


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## KathrynJG (May 23, 2013)

My thought was that she didn't want to insult you by giving you a bunch of money when she thought your intent was to give it away. I think she was trying to show appreciation for your idea of giving away. Otherwise, you should have said I normally sell them for $75, but give them away to new families I meet. That would either make her leave or get you a decent price.

I don't think it was her being rude at all but if you saw it as rudeness you should have responded in kind. 

Stand up for yourself! or don't be upset afterwards.


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## jodymorse151 (Sep 14, 2014)

Oakdale said:


> I love that you have a knitting group. I would love to find one where I live. I think the camaraderie and support of a knitting group would be wonderful.


I have offered a weekly knitting class in my church after Wednesday AM Bible Study. I said it was to learn or hone your skills. So far there are only learners. I believe as the word gets out there will be others joining us. People always admire my sweaters and it is a start. I had been knitting with a group about an hour away but their very hilly city makes going in winter a challenge. I did offer a class at the Senior Center next door to my church but had no takers. I'll try again and ask them join us. AC Moore had cotton for $1! I bought a skein of every color. I have plenty of extra needles (all circular) so am starting them on dish rags! I cast on and then let them go, first knitting, then purling. If they want to continue I'll teach cast on! If they like to knit they can buy their own yarn and return my needles. If they hate it ... no loss for anyone. Not everyone finds knitting as relaxing and satisfying as we do!


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## jodymorse151 (Sep 14, 2014)

A PS: my class started when I offered baby sweaters at our Christmas Bazaar ... all were sold for $40 and others asked me to teach them how. usually I give them away to new babies at church.


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## rkr (Aug 15, 2012)

missyern said:


> I don't believe the lady meant to be rude. She probably could not accept the sweater totally free so she will make a contribution to charity - AND she wanted to give you a small token.


Agree - Lady #2 had witnessed the first 'Gift' and saw no monetary interchange. I'm going to trust that she will donate to charity; the £5 was for the coffee consumed.
If you want a more graceful 'out' next time, say that you only Gift the item when the baby is present.


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## bobctwn65 (Jul 27, 2012)

there is more happiness in giving than in receiving..as long as I can afford yarn.. I will give most all I make away..it makes me happy...and as I said before. I always come out ahead because most people insist on giving me something..and one lady even went out and bought me a bag of yarn...3 times as much as was in the project..I feel I am truly blessed..


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## budasha (Aug 10, 2011)

That's what I was thinking and also that she just wanted to pay it forward by giving you some money to treat yourself to a coffee.



Finnsbride said:


> Could she have intended to give something to charity in addition to the 5?


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## gina (Jan 18, 2011)

I really don't understand why this lady is being called rude and nasty. She admired something and wanted to give it as a gift. She said she would make a charitable donation. the 5 pounds was just an impulsive gesture for Alva, not an insult. 

It's better to just say no, than to give something with resentment.


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## Ask4j (May 21, 2011)

Interesting story and one well worth discussing because we all encounter different people in our lives. 

First off she was very bold in asking but at the same time she was giving you one of the best compliments--she appreciated your work and felt it would delight a friend. She also did not want to offend you by offering to donate to charity when you didn't respond to selling your work. Some of us just don't know how to be suttle and reassuring to the person we have directed our attentions. 

Secondly, don't let this put you off but instead take it as a great compliment, that you gave someone pleasure and...knit on. When we knit in public we do draw attention but always think of it in a positive way, a sharing of something you love--anyway that's my thoughts.


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## sue943 (Jul 14, 2011)

it's nice when you give your items by your choice. I'm like you I don't like to give away when asked , wouldn't know what to charge. I don like to be asked to make something , for I feel pressured and it takes the fun out of knitting.sue in mi


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## mamavecchia (Nov 8, 2014)

a neighbor once asked me if I would do a piece of needlepoint for her...she sent her daughter over with it so I could see it...it was huge, King Tuts Head and all in Shades of browns and Gond golds..I very politely told her daughter I would be happy to do it...I would only carve Her $5.00 an hour but she would have to realize that it would take me 1,000 to 1'500 hours to complete...needless to say...never asked again...mission accomplished..


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## charbooth (Jan 9, 2015)

Alva, people who do not knit have NO idea the cost of yarn these days or the hours spent in knitting - to me there is no price worthy - I rarely sell any of my knits (at it for at least 40 years)... my pleasure is in the giving (if I don't keep it for myself).


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## Kaiess (Jan 25, 2013)

Swtthng said:


> Is £ the same as a Euro?


No - £1 is 1.34 


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## tonyastewart (Sep 1, 2014)

My experience with these types of situations is that people want a bargain for nothing including time spent on it I have had young people pay $40 for a layette minus blanket without batting an eye and others older who want to give me $15 for making a sweater minimum wage is more than $7.25 in my area per hour and if it takes me 8 hours well no one would pay that but for a hat sweater and diaper cover I feel for my effort (you can't be paid by the hour it would be outrageous)$40 is reasonable just price your things equivalent to something in a retail store for a set if the person balks remind them they won't find it cheaper at walmart, kmart or target you can always donate the finished product to shelters who will appreciate it just my opinion


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## Zinzin (Oct 17, 2012)

You did say "I love giving my knitting away as a gift"

Seeing the other lady got one free, this lady perhaps wished for too, but not wanting free used her skills going round about it. You were caught off guard with her request. All went down hill after that. Since you were sitting at cafe she may have thought and mumbled something about, "you can buy yourself a cup of coffee". Besides she my have donated for a charity too, later. 
You are now prepared for such future incidents.

For now imagine the little boy who will be the recipient of your beautiful hand knitted hooded jacket with little toggle buttons in blue. The smile on his mother's face when she dresses him.


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## Davena (Feb 24, 2013)

I feel you only have your self to blame here. You had full control of the situation. The lady asked to buy it or make a donation to a charity. You let her have the item... You made the decision. When knitting in public and people see the beautiful work of art, it must be hard not to comment on the item or enquire about it. When they do , for me, I always feel good that someone took an interest and we are able to have a conversation about it... At least now , you are better equipped to give a better response when this happens again.


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## beahop (Sep 1, 2014)

Hi,
What is a snood? I didn't hear this word before. Thanks. Bea


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## inishowen (May 28, 2011)

Kaiess said:


> I have just checked on a conversion site and $7.6 is correct.


Apologies I got it wrong. Sorry!!


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## redquilter (Jun 24, 2011)

I think it was all OK up until she gave you the money and said to buy yourself a cup of coffee. I think that was a bit insulting. She knew she was getting a bargain and what happened to the donation she was going to make to charity?


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## luvrcats (Dec 7, 2014)

Oh my....some people have NO idea the work put forth in handmade items. Christmas of 2013, when driving to Michigan for Christmas, we stopped in Lexington, KY for a late lunch. Our server was SO excited and when I asked, he said, "we just had a baby girl 5 days ago (12/17). I said I would love to knit a sweater for her and he was delighted. She was a Downs Syndrome baby--with 2 older brothers. Anyway, while visiting in MI for a week, I knit a lovely sweater and beanie. Upon our return home, I bought other little gifts for Rose and her brothers. Put it in the mail and to this day, I have never received one word about my gift. Had I not tracked it...I would never have known it arrived. It upset me--but, decided they had their hands full with 3 kids. I can only believe that they were happy with everything. By the way, I selected a yarn that fit her name--a rose Red Heart!


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## luvrcats (Dec 7, 2014)

Another time...last summer, my while waiting for my husband to undergo cataract surgery, I was knitting my beanies. There was a woman there and she said her grandchildren would love these--so, a couple weeks later, I had knit 2 camo hats and took them to her. I had told her I would knit them for no charge; however, also said if she wished to donate to the rescue group I volunteer with, that would be great. She was very pleased--


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## Myrle (Mar 15, 2012)

I think she was very disrespectful to you and very thoughtless. You have certainly learnt what some people are right and will be stronger in the future because of this experience I know you have let it go already as you mentioned you were just a wee bit annoyed. What a lovely person you are to give the gift to the young couple, I am sure they will always remember that you never know sometimes young people with their first baby need that sort of love and encouragement.


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## ELareau (Nov 4, 2012)

You gave freely to strangers, which the lady obviously saw. So what is the issue with your giving to her? Do you know for a fact the 5 was her donation and not in addition to a donation? 

As I see it, you set yourself up by giving to strangers in a public place where others would then think it all right to ask for another item.


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## nitchik (May 30, 2011)

You gave the first little jacket out of love. You blessed them, and you will be blessed.
The second one - well, that was a kind of 'forced donation' that you had no time to even think about! I can understand your feelings. Maybe prepare yourself with a convincing "No!' to be given to the next person who does this because it will probably happen again! I seldom have a great answer for annoying situations when they arise, so advanced preparation helps.
That second woman had no idea what she was doing, I'm sure. Maybe next time say something like, "I'm sorry, but this one is already spoken for (or is a gift for someone special)" And it will be true, as you will be giving it to someone else in due course, and if not, it will be for you!


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## knitsenuf (Jun 12, 2011)

Do lot of chatity knitting also and always feel I am more than well rewarded by the good feeling I get. The woman said she will donate to charity. Take her at her word and assume she just wanted to give you an extra thanks hence buying you a cup of coffee - a nice gesture. 

As for those who don't like to gift because it may not be appreciated - you just never know. Was in our boarding school library one day and saw a little one wearing a cute sweater. Asked the mom if I could look closer at the pattern. She gave a little funny laugh and explained that I had made it - six years before for a baby shower. She further explained that the mothers always passed around the things I had made because everyone loved them so much. She hoped I didn't mind. Repeat - you just never know.


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## cainchar (Dec 14, 2012)

Perhaps I'm missing something, but I think possibly, you should be flattered, not insulted. If I understand correctly, the agreement was that she would give something to charity in exchange for the sweater. I believe the 5 pounds was meant as a tip to you for a little treat. Likely as she felt you were very sweet in the whole affair. I'd bet she went ahead and made that donation to charity. We'll never know of course, but that's my take on this situation.

I intentionally didn't read the other notes yet, so will see how others saw it now. Try to feel good about what you did.



Alva said:


> I was sitting at my knitting group in a small cafe, sewing on buttons to some baby jackets when a young couple came in and sat at the table next to us. They had a brand new baby in a baby carrier. I love giving my knitting away as a gift and went up to the couple and asked if it was a boy or a little girl. I was holding a beautiful hand knitted hooded jacket with little toggle buttons in blue. Their baby was a girl and she was one week old, I admired her and then went back to my seat and finished off a pretty jacket knitted in Patons Snowflake Yarn, this was for a girl, so I handed it to them, they were very pleased and thanked me. Later a lady, a total stranger, came up to me and asked if I would sell the little hooded jacket for a gift for a friends baby. I was taken by surprise and did not know what to charge, the lady then said that she would give something to charity if she could have the jacket, I said ok. She went back for her purse then laid a £5 note on my table and mumbled something about, "you can buy yourself a cup of coffee". All I will say is she got a very good bargain and a very beautiful gift. But mad at myself at letting her have it. I am now knitting another one the same and it's not for sale! Anyone else had this experience?


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## ParkAvenue (Feb 3, 2011)

Alva said:


> I was sitting at my knitting group in a small cafe, sewing on buttons to some baby jackets when a young couple came in and sat at the table next to us. They had a brand new baby in a baby carrier. I love giving my knitting away as a gift and went up to the couple and asked if it was a boy or a little girl. I was holding a beautiful hand knitted hooded jacket with little toggle buttons in blue. Their baby was a girl and she was one week old, I admired her and then went back to my seat and finished off a pretty jacket knitted in Patons Snowflake Yarn, this was for a girl, so I handed it to them, they were very pleased and thanked me. Later a lady, a total stranger, came up to me and asked if I would sell the little hooded jacket for a gift for a friends baby. I was taken by surprise and did not know what to charge, the lady then said that she would give something to charity if she could have the jacket, I said ok. She went back for her purse then laid a £5 note on my table and mumbled something about, "you can buy yourself a cup of coffee". All I will say is she got a very good bargain and a very beautiful gift. But mad at myself at letting her have it. I am now knitting another one the same and it's not for sale! Anyone else had this experience?


Maybe I misunderstood, but she could still be making a donation to a charity but wanted to give YOU a little something too. Did anyone else take it that way?


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## Pearls Girls (Jan 11, 2015)

beahop said:


> Hi,
> What is a snood? I didn't hear this word before. Thanks. Bea


I snood is a hair covering like a hair net only knit or crocheted.
My gd a little " Angelina Ballerina" and her friends wear little pink ones after their hair is put in a bun. It keeps it all in place. I wore one to tuck my long hair in when doing early 19th century re-enactments. It kept my long hair about shoulder length and was held to my head w/ a couple of hidden bobby pins.


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## ChristmasTree (Nov 28, 2011)

scumbugusa said:


> I know Food/Beverages in UK and I assume Scotland are ridculous prices, so her comment of buy yourself a cup of coffee was not meant to be mean, more likely her way of saying thank you.
> 
> Cheer up and be happy that your work was so admired.


I was thinking the same thing. I didn't think of that as being the donation. Such a nice thing that you did giving it to the young couple.


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## ChristmasTree (Nov 28, 2011)

ParkAvenue said:


> Maybe I misunderstood, but she could still be making a donation to a charity but wanted to give YOU a little something too. Did anyone else take it that way?


Yes, that was what I was thinking. She probably didn't feel right about leaving without paying anything.


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## MsRose (Oct 27, 2012)

Does anyone know of a knitting
group in the E. TN area?


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## tweeter60 (Aug 26, 2014)

Parkavenue, I too felt she wanted to show her appreciation to the knitter because she did not want money for the sweater. She wanted to give her something in addition to giving to charity.


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## Pearls Girls (Jan 11, 2015)

I would "let it go" the more it is worked over in your mind the worse you'll feel. You have been very generous and have made several happy. Think on what is positive for positive feelings. We can really not know what actually was in either's mind and slipped through the lips.


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## Shirls Purls (Aug 19, 2012)

I read all the comments, but, how much is the L5 she gave you??????
I'm not familiar with the UK currency... so I don't know if it was a "generous" offer or an "insulting" offer.... ???


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## kazzza (Mar 8, 2013)

justinjared said:


> I don't see the problem . you gave one away, then someone offered to buy one. where is problem. say yes or no.


 :thumbup:


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## Cdambro (Dec 30, 2013)

ParkAvenue said:


> Maybe I misunderstood, but she could still be making a donation to a charity but wanted to give YOU a little something too. Did anyone else take it that way?


Yes. That is exactly how I took it.


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## Jenny.Wren (Nov 28, 2011)

You gave from your heart. That is the pleasure of knitting. One of my knitting groups does a great deal of charity knitting as well as knitting for family and friends. I like to walk around and see what others are making that I might want to try. One day I was making a pair of double knit mittens for myself in 100% wool, and one of the members asked me how much I would charge to make her a pair. I gave her a price of $45. If you do the math, that is very low price considering the cost of materials and the time it takes to makes them.
She walked off saying she would make them herself.
OK with me.
By the way, the mittens are fantastic. I have used them quite a bit in the last few weeks while shoveling snow and will be using them for most of this week as much more snow is on the way.

Here is an example. Would you expect someone to buy food and cook a meal for you because you like the way it tastes.

Food for thought. Happy knitting!!!!


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## Karenno1 (Mar 17, 2014)

purely from a brass pocket point of view if i admired or asked how much a handmade knitted garment was and you quoted 20.00 i would say as truth too much for me ...and you said make a donation i would have to say no as if i couldnt pay 20.00 in the first place then the donation wouldnt be as much as you wanted ......on the other hand i could say sorry all i have is 5.00 ...then thats up to you if you accept or not ..


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## beahop (Sep 1, 2014)

Hi, Thanks for the answer
So, that's the little bun netting I see on young girl's heads. Like a bee hive. Thanks for the answers. These strange words in knitting are driving me nuts. I have enough problems with reading patterns, but to add words like this is too much.


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## Deedidi (Dec 9, 2011)

Oakdale said:


> That is very frustrating for sure. Hopefully she will make a nice donation. I love that you have a knitting group. I would love to find one where I live. I think the camaraderie and support of a knitting group would be wonderful. Lucky you and all those in your group. What a wonderful way to spend time together.


I'm Scotland the local libraries run knitting groups. Some shops such as Hobbycraft and local craft shops also do this, some are free, others aren't.

Have a look around your area.


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## Deedidi (Dec 9, 2011)

mamavecchia said:


> a neighbor once asked me if I would do a piece of needlepoint for her...she sent her daughter over with it so I could see it...it was huge, King Tuts Head and all in Shades of browns and Gond golds..I very politely told her daughter I would be happy to do it...I would only carve Her $5.00 an hour but she would have to realize that it would take me 1,000 to 1'500 hours to complete...needless to say...never asked again...mission accomplished..


Love it!


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## Metrogal (Mar 15, 2011)

I just don't see the problem. She gave you five pounds, and then maybe was going to give to a charity too. At least she appreciated your work. Move on and don't fret over it.


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## BiDDi (Dec 21, 2012)

Finnsbride said:


> Could she have intended to give something to charity in addition to the 5?


I hope so. That was my interpretation.


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## Alva (Dec 20, 2012)

Metrogal said:


> I just don't see the problem. She gave you five pounds, and then maybe was going to give to a charity too. At least she appreciated your work. Move on and don't fret over it.


I have.


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## sockyarn (Jan 26, 2011)

No, but that was your fault. From now on figure out what you would sell your items for so you will be ready to tell would be buyers what you want for what you are making.


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## Alva (Dec 20, 2012)

sockyarn said:


> No, but that was your fault. From now on figure out what you would sell your items for so you will be ready to tell would be buyers what you want for what you are making.


I have never made garments to sell. This is the first time anyone has ever asked me.


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## Metrogal (Mar 15, 2011)

ParkAvenue said:


> Maybe I misunderstood, but she could still be making a donation to a charity but wanted to give YOU a little something too. Did anyone else take it that way?


I absolutely did take it that way.


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## Metrogal (Mar 15, 2011)

Shirls Purls said:


> I read all the comments, but, how much is the L5 she gave you??????
> I'm not familiar with the UK currency... so I don't know if it was a "generous" offer or an "insulting" offer.... ???


Isn't five pounds around $10 US?


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## lainey_h (Dec 14, 2013)

Alva said:


> I have never made garments to sell. This is the first time anyone has ever asked me.


When you're taken off guard it's hard to think through the issue and come up with a proper price. All things said, you did a kindness for someone and hopefully she'll do the right thing and make that donation. I still think it was a bit nervy, but all you can do is hope that things go the way you were told.


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## Shylinn (Mar 19, 2014)

How lovely that the woman obviously appreciated your work. I am sorry that so many regard that as rude.


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## Ask4j (May 21, 2011)

mamavecchia said:


> a neighbor once asked me if I would do a piece of needlepoint for her...she sent her daughter over with it so I could see it...it was huge, King Tuts Head and all in Shades of browns and Gond golds..I very politely told her daughter I would be happy to do it...I would only carve Her $5.00 an hour but she would have to realize that it would take me 1,000 to 1'500 hours to complete...needless to say...never asked again...mission accomplished..


 :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## PaKnitter (Mar 7, 2011)

Cdambro said:


> Yes. That is exactly how I took it.


I think so also. And her comment about the coffee was her way of saying you can't buy much with 10.00 today.


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## Maplelkknitter (Dec 19, 2013)

Knitting in public will draw attention--usually positive. She gave you the five but I hope makes good on her pledge to charity. I would assume that most people are honest and mean well. She could have asked what you were drinking and ordered one for you and paid for it.


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## mavisb (Apr 18, 2011)

I am sorry that she didn't think the jacket was only worth 5 pound but she might not have had more money to be able to donate. I do know people do not realise just how much an item is. My friend Jan works on the Red Cross stall every three months and all they charge is the cost of the wool. The actual knitting is free, I can't believe that the little jackets that Deb makes cost A$5 and they still ask for the item at a cheaper price.


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