# Daughter requires perfect knitting



## Rosenz (Mar 7, 2012)

I want to knit a cardigan for my granddaughter. The trouble is if the knitting is not perfectly even or if there is a single mistake it is rejected. I have now started and unpicked four cardigans in different wools and designs. I feel so dejected I am too scared to try again. 

I just cannot get every stitch even and sometimes make a mistake which I might miss. 

Does anyone know of a stitch that covers up uneven knitting and the odd missed error. 

Rosenz


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## sweetsue (Aug 12, 2011)

My goodness. Is she a knitter too? For her to be able to pick up any errors?
I have a daughter who wants a sweater too but I know that if I make it - it will be the wrong colour or the wrong cable or something - so, I won't make one at all.
Probably a moss stitch is one of the most forgiving stitches that I am aware of.


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## Aggie May (Aug 28, 2011)

Rosenz said:


> I want to knit a cardigan for my granddaughter. The trouble is if the knitting is not perfectly even or if there is a single mistake it is rejected. I have now started and unpicked four cardigans in different wools and designs. I feel so dejected I am too scared to try again.
> 
> I just cannot get every stitch even and sometimes make a mistake which I might miss.
> 
> ...


I would go and buy a cardigan if I was you.
I have a saying, "if you want perfect, get it made in a factory by a robot".
That is the only way you will satisfy your daughter.
Otherwise, send her for knitting lessons so she can see for herself that hand knitting is never perfect.
I feel sorry for your granddaughter because she will never know the joy of wearing something made with love by her grandma.
Maybe you can teach your granddaughter to knit instead.
Have fun.
Colleen


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## Tennessee.Gal (Mar 11, 2012)

How old is your granddaughter? Does she inspect every piece of knitting to look for mistakes? If this is the case, I wouldn't knit her anything. 

No wonder you feel dejected. Knit something for yourself, or for someone who will love it because you made it.


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## Rosenz (Mar 7, 2012)

My granddaughter is 15 months old and I have bought some wonderful patterns. 

Yes my daughter does study every stitch. 


Rosenz


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## pin_happy (Mar 23, 2012)

Do a garter stitch, wash and iron before giving. Sorry, if still complain, give the yarn and teach her a more complicated stitches than garter, treated as an gift, and see what she will say. Don't take life too seriously.


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## RosieC (Feb 14, 2012)

I have to tell you.....I would NOT make anything for her if that's the way she behaves - if someone gave something back to me I would consider it rude, ungrateful and inconsiderate. 
Not to mention a total disregard for someone's feelings.
I put too much love into my things and when I gift them I expect appreciation.


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## agnescr (Aug 14, 2011)

Rosenz said:


> My granddaughter is 15 months old and I have bought some wonderful patterns.
> 
> Yes my daughter does study every stitch.
> 
> Rosenz


I think she has way to much time on her hands,and plenty of money to waste,knit something small and if she rejects it say "Ok no doubt the local charities will be happy to accept it and anything else I knit" Even factory made items have flaws...they are set up by less than perfect humans........


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## maidinkent (Jul 17, 2011)

Blocking usually evens out the stitching. I feel for you, cos my knitting isn't very even either. Garter stitch is quite forgiving, and you're less likely to make an error. Hope you feel confident enough to give it a go, so that gd will get to know the love you put into the making of her clothes.


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## RED2nd (Nov 5, 2011)

I understand. I have a sister who has learned to be kind and appreciative, but is also rather picky. I once made a simple moss stitch cardigan for her oldest when she was a baby. She liked it so much it showed up on the next two as well. You could also consider doing a moss stitch baby blanket. 

If either of these aren't acceptable, then I have to agree with the others - buy something for your daughter/GD and knit for those who will appreciate it. We all have people we've moved into that category. Move them, and move on.


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## tjb2 (Apr 24, 2011)

Knit something very nice for some one elses Baby and show it to your daugher then give it away.
Sometimes we have to make kids realize what the have in some strange way


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## StellasKnits (Apr 10, 2011)

Oh good lord! If she wants a robot made sweater tell her to go to the store. If you're bound and determined to make a sweater for the ingrate I'd also use the moss stitch and a variagated yarn. That camoflages a lot.


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## Leonora (Apr 22, 2011)

Have you considered a lace pattern Rosenz. Tell your daughter that not even knitting designers/test knitters get every stitch perfect, it is utterly impossible to achieve this, and I'm a perfectionist myself, and a retired needle craft tutor. Show this message if you think it will help. Leonora.


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## andyjmcc (Feb 26, 2012)

You're dealing with KIDS. They can be that way. I just wouldn't make it for her...you don't need to be made to feel that way. I'd give her something she wants and would treasure and keep. Then she'll know Grandma loves her and will appreciate Grandma for knowing her so well THE REST OF HER LIFE.


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## nanma esther (Aug 22, 2011)

insted of making thing for your ungratefull d make the baby a doll blanket and sweater,and give to her with a doll they fit along with the knitted items, then you get to give your gd and since they are toys the don't have to be perfect and still get the joy of making things for gd


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## Magenta (Apr 21, 2012)

Rosenz said:


> I want to knit a cardigan for my granddaughter. The trouble is if the knitting is not perfectly even or if there is a single mistake it is rejected. I have now started and unpicked four cardigans in different wools and designs. I feel so dejected I am too scared to try again.
> 
> I just cannot get every stitch even and sometimes make a mistake which I might miss.
> 
> ...


Very very sad!

I just made my daughter's wedding gown and veil. I know it wasn't perfect and so does she, but it was made with buckets full of love and that's what counts - she wore the dress and looked wonderful in it!


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## amudaus (Nov 8, 2011)

It is such a pity your daughter is the way she is as the little GD will soon grow up,i think what nan-ma says is a good idea there are lovely patterns for toys on this site.What ever you knit even a teddy your little GD will always want to keep it.My daughter never liked knitted things for my GD but now she is fifteen and asking grandma if i could knit something for her and her best friend.


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## Cindy M (Sep 5, 2011)

I wouldn't knit anything for my kid if she acted like that. That would be the day when I would continually pick my work apart to somehow make it "acceptable" to her. Who's the parent here? I wouldn't let her dictate to me like that. The ingrate needs to learn the meaning of the phrase, "Never look a gift horse in the mouth."


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## Augustgran (Apr 16, 2011)

I missed if it was your daughter or dil if it was the latter maybe she just wants to get under your skin! I would buy a sweater from K mart and let her "check" the quality on that!!
Do you get a chance to care for her on your own? If you do put the little sweater on her then and take a pic so you will have a remembrance photo.


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## Homeshppr (Feb 28, 2011)

I knit for baby charities so usually have several finished garments on hand. When my daughter became pregnant, I let her look at all my finished work and pick anything she wanted for herself. It worked like a charm! Her discriminating eye chose the best and most detailed pieces, but I was happy to see them on my grandbaby.


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## YorkieMama (Mar 6, 2012)

Rosenz said:


> I want to knit a cardigan for my granddaughter. The trouble is if the knitting is not perfectly even or if there is a single mistake it is rejected. I have now started and unpicked four cardigans in different wools and designs. I feel so dejected I am too scared to try again.
> 
> I just cannot get every stitch even and sometimes make a mistake which I might miss.
> 
> ...


I know how you feel, Rosenz. I used to knit for my nieces when they were children. My sister, their mother, was never very happy with the things that I gave the girls, but they loved the little sweaters and vests that I made them and insisted on wearing them for important occasions like school pictures, etc. Now these girls are grown up with children of their own, they have become Fashonistas and I do not give the grand nieces and nephew anything, even store bought, because the item will not be acceptable to the mothers or the grandmother unless it comes from the "designer store of the week".


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## wordancer (May 4, 2011)

Rosenz said:


> I want to knit a cardigan for my granddaughter. The trouble is if the knitting is not perfectly even or if there is a single mistake it is rejected.


Gift Certificate! That way she can pick out the 'perfect' sweater for her perfect child. Sheeze!

Knitting should be a pleasure and joy...not full of worry and angst that it will not be up to someone's standards.


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## dawnprentiss (Aug 10, 2011)

i am so greatful for my children who believe that a gift is a gift and you are greatful no matter what, and do unto others, i am sorry that your child does not have enough respect to care for your feeling and appreciate the love behind such a gift..


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## wordancer (May 4, 2011)

Another thought. Either you take a picture of your granddaughter wearing your gift(s) or have your daughter take a picture before sending the item back to you with her list of complaints. 

Tell her you need a visual record of the 'fit' before you try again.

Of course, you will never get around to redoing that particular item...you know babies grow so fast!

The finished item can be kept with picture in a memory box ... or hang the picture and gift the item another another baby in your life or donate to charity.

I wouldn't redo the 'not perfect' item . . . just go and make something else in the next size.

Your granddaughter will not remember what she wore during her baby and early childhood, but you will have the pictures to show her. And let her assume that she actually wore them.


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## diamondbelle (Sep 10, 2011)

I'd like to know if everything SHE does is perfect. I'm sure it's not, but she probably would not admit to it. How sad that your daughter is so critical - to me that's a serious character flaw - See, SHE's not PERFECT!!!

I'd also hate to be her daughter - just think how critical your daughter will be as your GD grows up & makes mistakes.

I would make something for GD that can stay at your house, maybe a toy or blanket that's special for her.


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## GMADRAGON2 (Apr 20, 2011)

Strange thing this ... I guess I have a different kind of family. My kids and grand-kids always like what they are given ... and they WEAR and USE them. I sent about ten dish/wash clothes to my older daughter's family ... my daughter had to fight off grandson (aged 6) and grand-daughter (aged 8) for them ... AND her husband. They are used in the bath tub, in their case; and dishes in my daughter's. I crocheted a total of 14 afghans for daughters, sons-in-law and grand kids two years ago for Christmas ... every time I visit they are wrapped up in them (winter) ... including the sons-in-law!

My daughters all have girlfriends who I have knitted baby afghans for, as well as sweaters ... I am now making them for their grand children .. and found out one mother has kept all three of the afghans I knitted for her children ... some for 8 years and one for over 23 years. 

I won't do anything for someone I don't know, or whom I think will not understand the hours and work that goes into them ... even if they are family.

Long winded, sorry ... but it really disturbs me when people continue to *expect* other people to appreciate their work ... taint always so.


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## Knitress (Feb 14, 2012)

Handknitting involves imperfections, that is what makes it individual and unique. If your granddaughter cannot appreciate it and all the work you put into it, I would pronounce her "unsweater worthy". Just move on to someone who appreciates it,


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## Knitress (Feb 14, 2012)

Oh that is gorgeous.


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## GMADRAGON2 (Apr 20, 2011)

Daughters sometime think that their mothers' 'hobby' is not the real important, wonderful thing it is. Familiarity sometimes breeds contempt ... and it will show when we try to make things ... as someone said, make something and keep it at your home ... if you are close to them. I am not; live 300 miles from my kids and theirs ... glad they like what send. BTW, I usually ASK what they would like: colors style, etc.


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## Rosenz (Mar 7, 2012)

YorkieMama said:


> Rosenz said:
> 
> 
> > I want to knit a cardigan for my granddaughter. The trouble is if the knitting is not perfectly even or if there is a single mistake it is rejected. I have now started and unpicked four cardigans in different wools and designs. I feel so dejected I am too scared to try again.
> ...


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## Clickers (Apr 8, 2011)

On the other side of the coin, would your daughter care for the cardigan as it should be(laundry).


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## insanitynz (Mar 14, 2011)

sorry but she sounds very ungrateful I wouldn't bother even trying


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## cbjlinda (May 25, 2011)

If someone told me that it would be regjected if it were not perfect then I am afraid they would go without.


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## MamaBonz 55 (Sep 24, 2011)

Rosenz said:


> I want to knit a cardigan for my granddaughter. The trouble is if the knitting is not perfectly even or if there is a single mistake it is rejected. I have now started and unpicked four cardigans in different wools and designs. I feel so dejected I am too scared to try again.
> 
> I just cannot get every stitch even and sometimes make a mistake which I might miss.
> 
> ...


Well now, that's a built-in "gotcha" heads I win, tails you lose kind of situation if I ever heard one. Why on earth would you be willing to even consider knitting for someone who will be just waiting to pounce on any tiny flaw so she can reject your loving gift?

Buy the sweater and give it along with yarn, needles, and pattern along with free knitting lessons so she can make one herself.

Comforting thought: That darlin' little 15 month old will be a 15 Year old in an eye blink and will expect that same perfection from her mom. Payback time. Ummm, how sweet it is.

Seriously, maybe you could just explain to the woman that perfection does not exist in this life but love expressed in stitches lasts forever. I fear she's doomed to a lot of disappointment if she continues with that kind of attitude.


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## LizAnne (Nov 25, 2011)

The lady who taught me how to knit made a red scarf for a friend of hers and put it in the mail. The lady she mailed it to said it reminded her of road kill. I know that's an awful thought, but that's what she said. That was about the tackiest comment I'd ever heard! I know I've knitted a few things for people I wanted to do something special for and got very little response. However, most people are appreciative.


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## sweetsue (Aug 12, 2011)

When you make things for your granddaughter make sure she is there and you can put them on her. If mum chooses not to put them on her after too bad. Take your photo upload and get all the praises here!
Or after you take the photo take them off her and say to mum well don't suppose she will be wearing this after today so I may as well gift it to someone else.
But, you still have your photo and all the praises from the knitters on KP! And, your gift will go to a good cause - unless she snatches it back.
Cheers
Sue


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## anastasia (Feb 9, 2011)

I wouldn't give her anything after this. I have a daughter who even told me to quit buying things for the g-kids as they didn't have room for all of it. Whether they did or not wasn't the point. I was taught to accept anything given w/ a smile and a thank you. I didn't have to display it or wear it very often. I do believe it's the thought that counts. Sounds like your knitting is perfectly fine to me. :thumbup:


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## Rosenz (Mar 7, 2012)

sweetsue said:


> When you make things for your granddaughter make sure she is there and you can put them on her. If mum chooses not to put them on her after too bad. Take your photo upload and get all the praises here!
> Or after you take the photo take them off her and say to mum well don't suppose she will be wearing this after today so I may as well gift it to someone else.
> But, you still have your photo and all the praises from the knitters on KP! And, your gift will go to a good cause - unless she snatches it back.
> Cheers
> Sue


Thank you I feel so much better after your comment

Rosenz


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## Ciyona (Jan 17, 2011)

You could tell her that a mistake makes the pattern yours and that you intentionally do this. But I agree if she persists in taking a comb to your work then tell her you won't knit for your grand daughter because you are human and all humans make mistakes in life. If she wants perfection she needs to do that herself. This is a child and children snag their clothing, get them dirty and all sorts of things. Putting her child in a bubble is not healthy for her. She needs to be exposed to things even if they aren't perfect. And you and show your daughter this post too if you like. How selfish this girl is.


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## kiwiannie (Jul 30, 2011)

If my daughter required perfect knitting,she could do it herself,she wants to realize you are doing your best for your GD and if thats not to her liking i would point out ,nicely we all make mistakes.


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## Whitwillhands (Feb 12, 2012)

Rosenz said:


> I want to knit a cardigan for my granddaughter. The trouble is if the knitting is not perfectly even or if there is a single mistake it is rejected. I have now started and unpicked four cardigans in different wools and designs. I feel so dejected I am too scared to try again.
> 
> I just cannot get every stitch even and sometimes make a mistake which I might miss.
> 
> ...


Get your daughter to have some in put as to what pattern, colour and wool is used. It may be that she just doesn't like your choice. 
It may also be that she doesn't deserve such a caring mother/grandmother.
If that isn't good enough then knit your granddaughter a toy instead. She will love it even if your daughter doesn't.
Happy knitting


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## lindakaren12 (Dec 16, 2011)

How about a gift certificate? Knitting is supposed to be fun.


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## alpajem (Apr 8, 2011)

Rosenz said:


> My granddaughter is 15 months old and I have bought some wonderful patterns.
> 
> Yes my daughter does study every stitch.
> 
> Rosenz


Is there something that your extremely fussy daughter has made or done that you can pick on and complain loudly about just to get the point across to her? Or you could tell her that you do not know where she gets her rude, arrogant, ignorant, picky, fussy, complaining ways from as you did not raise her that way. I am so sorry that your daughter is like that and that your granddaughter will miss out on things made so lovingly by grandma. Lots of crafty hugs (and hope she will stop doing this) Essie from O


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## ole chook (May 17, 2011)

Aggie May said:


> Rosenz said:
> 
> 
> > I want to knit a cardigan for my granddaughter. The trouble is if the knitting is not perfectly even or if there is a single mistake it is rejected. I have now started and unpicked four cardigans in different wools and designs. I feel so dejected I am too scared to try again.
> ...


I agree Colleen


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## moke (Oct 8, 2011)

I like nan-ma's idea..make something for a doll...your daughter sounds very hard to please. if not how about a lace pattern? I think a nice lace pattern is harder to inspect and find errors< lol...


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## GANDY (Oct 27, 2011)

Buy the pattern, yarn, and needles - and give to your daughter for her birthday or Christmas.

Gandy


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## ninabeanbag (Jun 4, 2011)

Aggie May said:


> Rosenz said:
> 
> 
> > I want to knit a cardigan for my granddaughter. The trouble is if the knitting is not perfectly even or if there is a single mistake it is rejected. I have now started and unpicked four cardigans in different wools and designs. I feel so dejected I am too scared to try again.
> ...


I couldn't agree more....


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## ninabeanbag (Jun 4, 2011)

Aggie May said:


> Rosenz said:
> 
> 
> > I want to knit a cardigan for my granddaughter. The trouble is if the knitting is not perfectly even or if there is a single mistake it is rejected. I have now started and unpicked four cardigans in different wools and designs. I feel so dejected I am too scared to try again.
> ...


I couldn't agree more....


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## Ms. Tess (Mar 2, 2012)

Rosenz....if your daughter is so uhnappy with the things you lovingly make by hand, then let her go and shop at the store for her "perfect" items. Rest assured that even store bought items are far from perfect. How ungrateful and how sad this is. I would ask her what happened that turned her into a spoiled selfish brat that she has become. Being gracious is supposed to be part of living. She sure has missed the point here. You would be better off to knit and sell the items to people that would appreciate the talent and quality that comes with home made knitted wear. People that don't knit often miss the talent and time it takes to make such stuff. Very sad. I am sure you are a lot more fussy about the stitches than most people are, but that should be a labor of love, not a journey of guilt that made you that way. Hugssss


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## cydneyjo (Aug 5, 2011)

Time to knit for yourself.


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## swampygirl (Nov 1, 2011)

The best present for your daughter is a set of needles, yarn and pattern and say to her 'this is for my granddaughter but as you are so damn 'perfect' you knit the garment on my behalf as I am unable to do so without the human touch'. 

As the saying goes ...... I'm only human.
And with being human comes mistakes - that's a part of life.

Oh my, how rude. Your daughter needs a shake up. 
She doesn't deserve you.

Carry on knitting your lil heart out, there's always another child in need of a cardigan and that will appreciate it.


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## GudrunM (Feb 17, 2012)

knitting is a lot of work and a lot of love and only those that appreciate that deserve to receive your work. I would not knit anything for your daughter. Just go out and buy something and save yourself the hurt.


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## Rosy B (Mar 16, 2012)

It is sad that your D is so critical of your work and I hope she isn't going to be like that with her own D because she's going to be in for a rough ride if so. It could be that she actually doesn't want anything "home-made" on your GD preferring branded clothes. I know someone like this. She has always dressed her D in expensive clothes and gets twitchy every time they get dirty. The 4 year old can't play properly because she's not allowed to mess up her clothes. I would make toys as has been suggested and wait till GD is older and can make her own choice.


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## mavisb (Apr 18, 2011)

I feel for your Rose, I think my knitting is acceptable and my stitches are mostly uniform but there are some that are not perfect. I can suggest you knit baby an Aran sweater, because it is full of pattern you can't tell whether a stitch is out of place. I feel sorry for your little granddaughter not be able to wear something made by you. My daughter accepts all my knitting as she is not an experienced knitter but can knit. She is a very neat little knitter when she can set time aside for knitting but with four children it can be quite busy at times as baby is only 7 months old.


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## connie502 (Feb 10, 2012)

nothing or no one is perfect- i would not do it


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## 8 Furry Kids (Jun 30, 2011)

Dont set yourself up for another rejection. gift certificate! Anything you buy probably wouldnt be the right size, color, brand etc.


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## imaxian (Dec 17, 2011)

If you knit with a boucle type yarn uneven stitches will not show. It is unfortunate that perfection is demanded, however it only shows , I think your daughter's insecurity, so pray for her and love her... and while your at it pray for the dear little one that she will not be infected with the same malady.
You could knit something in a larger size - something your granddaughter would wear when she is about 4 then give it directly to her since a gift from grandma would be cherished by her. I could tell you a story about a quilt.


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## ssk1953 (Jan 29, 2012)

Don't think I'd go to all the trouble and valuable time to knit anything for her. Just buy an already made sweater and let her complain about that. Hopefully, your little granddaughter will want you to teach her the art of knitting someday!


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## Susie cue (Apr 6, 2011)

Sorry but if your daughter is not satisfied with what you knit i would not bother i would tell her to knit the things her self as she is so perfect

susie cue


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## Knitter forever (Dec 11, 2011)

I would not make her anything, as simple as that.........


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## sjordanc (Aug 9, 2011)

I would make whatever you want to make, keep it in a treasure chest and save it for when your granddaughter has babies.Write her a long letter telling her how much time and consideration and love has gone into each stitch.


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## chris h (Aug 13, 2011)

give the pattern and needles to your daughter and suggest she knit it


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## Gail9 (Mar 4, 2011)

Tell her to look at the sweaters that she buys abd check for mistakes. She will find them. There is nothing on earth that is perfect. That is the way God made it.


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## mairmie (Jun 16, 2011)

I agree 100% with Rose Chase.If my daughter was that rude to me I`d do my knitting for others who might better appreciate all the time and effort that we put into hand knitting.If you can`t think of a family member or acquaintance who would appreciate your efforts...there are many homeless and needy people who would love to have a warm handknit sweater.


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## AverilC (May 13, 2011)

I absolutely agree with everybody here. I would certainly not make your daughter anything! I find this attitude to be the rudest imaginable. Perfection or not something you make for your family is made with LOVE and she should accept that.

A great shame that your GD will miss out on someting her G made for her. I agree wityh the suggestion that you make it, put it away and give it to her when she has a family with a letter explaining all this.


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## Araciel (Apr 2, 2011)

I think that she most likely does not want you to make anything for the baby or herself. I would tell her that you would buy something before I make another knitted garment. 
Peoline


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## janis blondel (May 20, 2011)

I don't understand your daughter at all, surely she would be pleased that her lovely mum has taken the time to do something nice for her baby (grandaughter). No one is perfect just as everyones knitting is different and it is these differences that she should appreciate that is what makes it unique. Have you told her how you feel? :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## silvercharms (Mar 29, 2011)

I agree with everyone else - knit for yourself! Knitting for babies is lovely, but in this case it is only bringing you sorrow.
You might knit for other babies who don't have so much, and buy toys or baby shoes, later on baby books, or cute little things that even your daughter will like.
But most importantly, I would be sure to wear something wonderful knitted for yourself each time you visit! Show, don't tell!


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## czechmate (Jun 17, 2011)

Guess I am Lucky my Daughter wants everything I make and give her she is so proud and I am too just finished a curvy shrug the color is spring green and I ,made my first ruffled scarf ...gonna give it to her when she visits this summer.if they don't like it don't gift it.also my work is never perfect.


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## CoralDawn (May 6, 2011)

How on earth did your daughter get to be so picky?!! Just wait until your granddaughter is old enough to appreciate what you make her....then HER mother shouldn't have any say in it! If my daughter was so unappreciative, I wouldn't do ANYTHING for her, and I mean ANYTHING!


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## Schatzie (May 5, 2011)

What stitch?? Wash it Dry it Block it !!!! Just plain Forget it - you don't need that kind of treatment for loving efforts.


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## meadow123 (Mar 6, 2012)

Ungrateful woman,i do a lot of knitting for four of my gd and they wear the cardigans i knit,my knitting is not perfect and i have been knitting for 40 years.tell her to buy one or knit it herself,see how "perfect" she is,nasty person.ignore her and knit for your self.


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## kittysgram (Nov 12, 2011)

can she do better?? then don't critize someone else. poor grandaughter to have such a PERFECT mommmy.


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## smurf41 (Apr 22, 2012)

How selfish and unkind is your daughter i would give the cardigan 
to some other child


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## vicstitcher (Oct 31, 2011)

I would never put myself in the position of trying to please someone like that with my knitting. Life is too short!


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## Torticollus (Dec 3, 2011)

It sounds as if your daughter may have a problem with obsessive compulsive disorder. I feel sorry for her daughter because she will expect her to be perfect. But nothing is perfect. It is the idiosyncrasies that make life interesting. I hope she gets some help. My boss was like that until she went on Wellbutrin. But no one can help her until she sees that her behavior is affecting everyone around her. Please don't take it personally. It may be a chemical imbalance. I know from experience because my son went through it. Medication made all the difference.


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## ecando (Apr 4, 2011)

that sounds like my daughter in law. when ever I make something she takes it, says thanks but never wears it, if I ask her if she wore it then she'll say, no it not my style or no its not my color. so...I stopped make things for her and the kids. when she sees me knitting, she'll ask who's that for and I tell her I don't know yet or I'll say someone who appreciates my handy work and asked me to make it.


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## smurf41 (Apr 22, 2012)

How selfish and unkind is your daughter i would give the cardigan 
to some other child


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## cimiron (Feb 2, 2011)

I agree with you, if the daughter is so perfect let her buy her sweaters, as for your grandaughter teach her how to knit )


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## bluey (Apr 19, 2012)

Hi I say knit for me because I would appreciate the hard work you put into the garment.
I love the idea of knitting for a doll. 
I think you should knit for someone who appreciates your work even if it is only yourself. Maybe your daughter just doesn't like any hand knit item. So even if you bought a knitted piece from a top class designer/knitter she probably would pick a fault
I can understand you wanting to knit for your grandchild but you may have to wait until your grand daughter grows up and appreciates your hard work


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## Isabel (Mar 15, 2011)

You do not need to try to fix something you can't fix. Her rejection is not really about the knitting, it goes deeper than that. You don't need to make her problem your own. There's no point in killing yourself if you can't make her happy. She needs help with her outlook.


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## jbweaver (May 5, 2011)

oops


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## imtired2ru (Nov 9, 2011)

Instead of making anything for her I would start knitting chemo or premie hats. They are appreciated and cherished by their recipients. Give a gift certificate to your granddaughter and let her buy a "perfect" sweater


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## jbweaver (May 5, 2011)

It sounds like she is a perfectionist and will never be satisfied. If she were related to me, I wouldn't even attempt it.


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## Schipperke (Nov 12, 2011)

How about using an eyelash type wool. You can't see the sttitches at all with that wool. Or at least I can't, so maybe she can't either. Just a thought.
Good luck. There is one thing though, she's your daughter so I would think you could be more open with her as to how you feel. My DIL is just as fussy but I can't say anything to her, so I don't do anything for her or, sadly, my grand daughter.


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## Schipperke (Nov 12, 2011)

cimiron said:


> I agree with you, if the daughter is so perfect let her buy her sweaters, as for your grandaughter teach her how to knit )


Good idea for the future, but at the moment I think her grand daughter is only 15 months old.

:-D


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## jonibee (Nov 3, 2011)

I wouldn't waste my time..it seems your grandaughter is unappreciative and doesn't realize that your gift comes from the heart..nothing is perfect and someday she will find this out, or be an unsatisfied person all her life. Her character needs working on..buy one at the store and if she asks why you don't want to make her something be up front and tell her the truth. She needs a life lesson.


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## LEE1313 (Jan 25, 2011)

OMG,my heart aches for you.
What a difficult situation you have been put in,
IMHO: a gift certificate so she can go buy a "perfect garment".

And then you can sit down and relax and knit for someone else.

Hugs, Linda


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## jilro (Mar 30, 2012)

I have a sister who is like that and have decided not to knit anything for her. I was making her a sweater for her and there was stitch that was not perfect and she asked me if I was going to take the whole thing out and start over. My answer to her was: No, I am keeping it for myself. Usually it has nothing to do with your knitting, it has something to do with that person. Tell her to go to Macy's and buy a sweater!!


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## Sherry1 (May 14, 2011)

I feel for you and your daughter but the problem is all hers. Does she ask that you knit things for your granddaughter? Might be good to start a dialogue and let her know how you feel. I do like the idea of a doll and doll clothing as a bridge. I also like the idea of showing her items you have knit for others so she can see that your work is appreciated. Sounds like she expects a lot from you and you are paying a heavy price. Don't fall victim to it. Knit for those who want and need it.


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## Laurie S. (Jan 18, 2012)

My advice to you is to stand up for yourself...How dare someone, especially a relative have the audacity to be so anal and rude to you. The joy that you get from making things should not be tarnished by someone else and their problems. 
Tell her you are not making anything for her...its amazing the load that can be lifted from your shoulders when you actually stand up for yourself!!!


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## aranita (Mar 15, 2012)

I will tell her ......Here is the yarn.......aaand do it yourself....lets see if she is so perfect......


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## Laura R (Apr 14, 2011)

Rosenz said:


> My granddaughter is 15 months old and I have bought some wonderful patterns.
> 
> Yes my daughter does study every stitch.
> 
> Rosenz


So the true problem isn't your knitting or the 15-month-old - it's your daughter. And she doesn't even realize she's teaching her child to be rude, ungrateful, insensitive and self-centered?

The world is full of people who would love to have your hand knitted items and bless you for your kindness and time. They aren't hard to find.


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## Janiceknit (Jan 23, 2012)

When my work is not perfect (which is always), I take comfort in the fact that the Amish ladies who quilt exquisite items, PURPOSELY make an error somewhere in their work so they can always identify it. You daughter may not appreciate that idea, but you may take comfort in that thought.


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## silver_knitter (Mar 11, 2012)

I definitely would never knit anything for somebody who can be so ungrateful. 

I wonder if your daughter is so perfect herself.

Knit something really nice for yourself. At least you will enjoy it.xxx


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## Karen K Turner (May 17, 2011)

I agree with Coleen, my grandaughters love the fact that I care enough to give them something made by grandma. I let them choose from the colors that I had on hand. I am a fortunate person, my kids at least act like they care. I knitted a hat for one of my grandsons, and his little brother snatched it and would not give it up until I made one for him.


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## calmlake (May 16, 2011)

Rose, unfortunately and sometimes fortunately the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Tell her that All your knitting is done with love, given with love and accepted with love. If not accepted that way, then you feel cornered. You remove the corner by smiling and realizing it only cost you that much love, time and work to understand someone. Your daughter and any knitting for her are cancelled, stores are out there waiting for her to buy ready-made. Keep knitting with love, the world needs it.


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## sasvermont (Mar 3, 2011)

Your situation is an odd one for sure. I would lean toward knitting for someone who appreciates you and your efforts, more. It sounds as though they would enjoy a store purchased item better. 

I know many children would be pleased to have a hand made sweater, from anyone.

Go perform in front of the correct audience - someone other than your daughter and g-daughter. Sorry.


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## suebuddah (Aug 26, 2011)

Rosenz said:


> I want to knit a cardigan for my granddaughter. The trouble is if the knitting is not perfectly even or if there is a single mistake it is rejected. I have now started and unpicked four cardigans in different wools and designs. I feel so dejected I am too scared to try again.
> 
> I just cannot get every stitch even and sometimes make a mistake which I might miss.
> 
> ...


I wouldn't bother making it if it was to be picked over and rejected, just knit for people who appreciate your work for what it is xx


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## carenkelly (Apr 2, 2012)

I would not undo the knitted items i would give them to a charity,they will be apprieciated for all the love and time gone into them,if you make the odd mistake unless peole inspect it at close quarters stictch by stitch noone will notice,I would put my knitting too better use and knit for someone who will appriciate it,like the prem baby unit,and i would give my daughter a pattern needles and wool and say if you can do better do it.xxxxx


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## Ann DeGray (May 11, 2011)

Rosenz said:


> My granddaughter is 15 months old and I have bought some wonderful patterns.
> 
> Yes my daughter does study every stitch.
> 
> Rosenz


Oh my. And I assume everything your daughter does is oerfect? I'm afraid she is gonna be very disappointed many times in her life because people aren't perfect. It's one thing for us, as knitters, to try to knit perfectly, it's quite another for the recipient, to expect perfection. As the saying goes, "Expectations lead to resentments".

Tell your dauhhter that a wise woman once said, "Life is much more fun if you dont keep score."

And I can make up more "wise woman" sayings if you need 'em.


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## SusanYEngland (Oct 25, 2011)

It sounds to me like your daughter needs a serious mother daughter talk about manners, appreciation, and setting a good example for your granddaughter.
Life is not about perfection, she isn't perfect and she should be brought down off her high horse. 
No matter how old I was or how old my mother was, she never hesitated to put me in my place if she felt it was needed. 
Just my 2cents worth.


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## SIML (Jan 2, 2012)

Maybe what you should do is to knit the baby things you have patterns for and put them into your granddaughter's hope chest. That way you would be doing it for her and skipping the mother's intervention.


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## headvase1 (Nov 18, 2011)

I would not make her anything either but maybe you just need to say well it isn't for you but the baby!!!!!!


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## engteacher (Jul 9, 2011)

I have things that I have made that I keep at my house for when the grand kids come over. They can wear their special Nana clothes here and anywhere I take them. When they leave, their Nana things stay here. They always have something special and every once in a while they ask to take something home. No one is perfect at Nana's.


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## sam07671 (May 12, 2011)

Magenta said:


> Rosenz said:
> 
> 
> > I want to knit a cardigan for my granddaughter. The trouble is if the knitting is not perfectly even or if there is a single mistake it is rejected. I have now started and unpicked four cardigans in different wools and designs. I feel so dejected I am too scared to try again.
> ...


Beautiful dress and veil. My mother made my wedding dress and I still have it and treasure it.


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## gdhavens (Jul 21, 2011)

It isn't the granddaughter but the daughter that is such a perfectionist. Make something for the granddaughter, maybe a blanket or a toy. You could get a very special stuffed animal or a doll and knit matching outfits for GD and toy. If these are rejected by the daughter, keep them at your home for your granddaughter to enjoy when with you. At 15 months a child doesn't have much say in what she has to wear, but at 15 years she will!!! Maybe then she will get a chance to wear the things made with love from Grandma.


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## sonsuray (Apr 22, 2012)

Hi Rosenz. Sorry to hear tt u have a problem with uneven knitting. A tip I was given years ago for this solved the problem. It is more noticeable in stocking stitch (1 row knit, 1 row purl), wt is known as 'dog eared'. Do a swatch of abt 12-16 rows with the needles stated in pattern, for instance size 4mm. Look closely & u may notice tt yr knit rows are longer than yr purl rows. If is the case use a size smaller 3 1/2mm for knit rows & 4mm for purl rows. If it is yr purl rows tt are longer then use 3 1/2mm for purl rows and 4mm for knit rows. Do a swatch with both methods, and you will never get 'dog eared' stocking stitch again. If u gt stuck - let me know. It works every time. Yr knitting will be even throughout.


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## farmgirl (Jul 19, 2011)

I could not knit for someone like that. And I would certainly tell her she wasn't brought up that way and is being just plain rude!


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## carenkelly (Apr 2, 2012)

I think that sugestion about knitting for your grandaughter hope chest is a great idea,that way she will look back in years too come,and think of all the love you put into those baby garments for your greatgrandchildren,also thinking of her future,when she,s old enough teach her how too knit and it will pass on to future generations.


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## Dowager (Jun 7, 2011)

I think I would tell her that when someone goes to the trouble to make something for you, you should accept it and use it joyfully and not criticize it. Also tell her that in some cultures they deliberately put a mistake into all of their hand made creations, because only God is perfect, and they would not wish to risk HIs anger by accidentally making something perfect.


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## Sammi (Nov 6, 2011)

Boy. I couldn't believe what I was reading here, this daughter was brought up by aliens I assume? Never saw anyone make a crafty item, regardless of perfection, it is always flawed, that is what makes a hand made gift so unique. 
I pity her family, and the GD especially, know there are people like that, and they make me cringe. So sorry she is yours, and makes you feel unworthy, which is what I am seeing in your postings.
As the above poster responded, do the doll and blanket thing, the GD should be old enuf soon to appreciate ANYTHING given as a gift, and especially from NANA, this might soften the lady's heart somewhat, meantime, take your knitting elsewhere to someone who will be thankful to have an item that the craft is as old as time, and I for one would hate to see these crafts lost in any way, but with comments like your daughters, those feeling a little challenged will not go forth and spread the word how much enjoyment is gleaned.


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## blavell (Mar 18, 2011)

If you add Fun Fur or a similar yarn to your regular yarn it covers up alot & it's impossible to see how even the stitches are. However, having said that, I wouldn't knit anything for your daughter or grandaughter (other than toys which was mentioned before). I would inform your daughter that the Amish purposely put a flaw in their hand-crafted items (if one isn't already there) to remind themselves that no one & nothing is perfect in this world.
After 50 years of knitting my stitches are fairly even but, believe me I make plenty of mistakes & have become very good at covering them up. (LOL)


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## luvmypip (Mar 23, 2011)

Easy solution! Make sweaters with yarn that is not even. A fuzzy one or nobbie yarn. 

A way to make even stitches is to use a machine. 

I find bamboo needles help as well as a consistent tension.


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## SaxonLady (Jun 9, 2011)

Rosenz said:


> My granddaughter is 15 months old and I have bought some wonderful patterns.
> 
> Yes my daughter does study every stitch.
> 
> Rosenz


Errrr.....who taught her to be so fussy? Seriously, the whole point of handknitting is that it is made, with love, by a human. It HAS to have at least one unique error to make it the perfect item.


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## sherimorphis (Oct 11, 2011)

Rosenz said:


> I want to knit a cardigan for my granddaughter. The trouble is if the knitting is not perfectly even or if there is a single mistake it is rejected. I have now started and unpicked four cardigans in different wools and designs. I feel so dejected I am too scared to try again.
> 
> I just cannot get every stitch even and sometimes make a mistake which I might miss.
> 
> ...


.........................................................
I only knit for knit worthy people...my d-i-l, son, nieces love my socks and hats so those are who get them. How does your dtr know there's a mistake?


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## Jansk (May 1, 2011)

Tell het to go and buy one. She is such an ungrateful person. I would refuse to knit anything for her.


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## sherimorphis (Oct 11, 2011)

Another thing that has come to mind is even if it were perfect it wouldn't be acceptable. I think your dtr has a jealousy issue...I think your dtr feels you are paying attention to your grand-dtr, making your grand-dtr more important than she is.


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## Cali (Apr 9, 2012)

nan-ma said:


> insted of making thing for your ungratefull d make the baby a doll blanket and sweater,and give to her with a doll they fit along with the knitted items, then you get to give your gd and since they are toys the don't have to be perfect and still get the joy of making things for gd


I think this is a great idea. Don't set yourself up for rejection. Remember, it is their issue, not yours. Your granddaughter would love a gift from nanny...


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## alisonc (Nov 28, 2011)

I certainly wouldn't knit for her either!!! I'm just about to knit a jumper for my 8yr old granddaughter+I know she'll love it even if there were any imperfections )


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## henhouse2011 (Feb 20, 2011)

There is something else going on here and perfect knitting isn't it. Sounds like a control issue.


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## Cali (Apr 9, 2012)

I just remembered what a friend of mine did once... hahah.. her daughter was quite mean spirited too... so she had her grand daughter for the weekend and gave her a hat she made... knowing her daughter would not approve, she put big bunny ears on the hat...lol


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## Vique (Oct 28, 2011)

I wouldn't dwell on this, the solution is very simple. Don't make her anything, she doesn't deserve it. Vique


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## Ingried (Sep 23, 2011)

Sorry to have to state that Professional help seems in order here. 
Sure hope your daughter does not reject everything your granddaughter will be doing as she is growing up. That could be
a disaster.
Knit for yourself and when your granddaughter is older, then knit for her and let her be the judge.
Perhaps at this time just knit some items for a Doll.


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## henhouse2011 (Feb 20, 2011)

And I will add to that don't let your daughter put you down. Your worth does not depend on perfect anything.


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## stirfry (Nov 3, 2011)

This is why I knit for charity. I know they are appreciated. My daughter is a wonderful person, caring, loving and considerate. But!!! She likes to buy hers and her children's clothes, Thank goodness my granddaughter is craft minded. we spend many hours making things and sewing on her little sewing machine I bought her. She is 6. My daughter doesn't have the patience.


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## CharleneB (Jun 5, 2011)

Oh how sad that your daughter has this attitude. What I would do and did when my daughter wanted "only the best" for my GD was to knit and sew what I planned to give her and then donated it to a woman's shelter and sent my daughter the pictures of them with a gift card for one of her "desired" stores. The shelters were always happy to receive them and my GD got what her mother wanted. Once she brought one of her perfect store bought sweaters to me because it had a snag in it; when I showed her how to fix it, I mentioned that perfect wasn't always perfect.


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## Lovinknittin (Apr 2, 2011)

Rosenz said:


> I want to knit a cardigan for my granddaughter. The trouble is if the knitting is not perfectly even or if there is a single mistake it is rejected. I have now started and unpicked four cardigans in different wools and designs. I feel so dejected I am too scared to try again.
> 
> I just cannot get every stitch even and sometimes make a mistake which I might miss.
> 
> ...


People still have the thought that something should not look handmade unless that is what gives it the character. They do not like mistakes because they think that looks sloppy.

Do the cardigan, don't be nervous. Use lifelines, markers, don't rush doing it, do it when you are very awake, and have fun with it. If it is not perfect, somebody can wear it. You need to get your confidence back!


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## Janneylynn (Dec 9, 2011)

Rosenz said:


> I want to knit a cardigan for my granddaughter. The trouble is if the knitting is not perfectly even or if there is a single mistake it is rejected. I have now started and unpicked four cardigans in different wools and designs. I feel so dejected I am too scared to try again.
> 
> I just cannot get every stitch even and sometimes make a mistake which I might miss.
> 
> ...


Your daughter is going to do alot of growing up herself if this is her first baby. She may never like handmade knitted items, but there's a good chance she will appreciate you much more as the years go by. I would teach your GD how to knit when she's old enough. She will love what she makes with you. In the meantime, give gift certificates and let her choose what she wants for the baby.


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## ramram0003 (Nov 7, 2011)

Rose Chase said:


> I have to tell you.....I would NOT make anything for her if that's the way she behaves - if someone gave something back to me I would consider it rude, ungrateful and inconsiderate.
> Not to mention a total disregard for someone's feelings.
> I put too much love into my things and when I gift them I expect appreciation.


I totally agree with Rose Chase. I would NOT knit anything for her. I am appalled by this. How ungrateful she is.


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## Idaho (Jul 28, 2011)

Nothing in this world is perfect. Even the Navajos, expert weavers, purposely weave an error into their work so as not to offend Spider Woman who weaves perfect webs. I feel sorry for your granddaughter. She is setting a course for her life that will bring her nothing but frustration. 

Knit for those who love you.


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## warmfuzzies (Mar 10, 2012)

This is just so sad to read - I feel pain in your dejection. You'll never be able to make it perfect enough, and it's not your knitting at fault.

Give up on the cardigan - it's too stressful for you - worried about perfection so it won't be rejected. Spend that time loving on your grand-daughter instead and relaxing. It's clear than hand-knit by grandma carries no value for her momma, and baby will never miss it. 

I do love the suggestion that you knit a lovely sweater, show it to daughter (from enough distance that she can't examine every stitch) and then give it away. 

One of my daughters gave me such grief over back-to-school shopping - rejecting everything - so I went back next day alone, bought her wardrobe and took it to her best friend's house to recruit her help. We had a great time showing Laurie all the new stuff her friend had, letting her try on - admire - love - ask when she could borrow all this stuff - then told her it was hers. End of game.


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## Idaho (Jul 28, 2011)

Sorry, meant daughter, not granddaughter.


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## MacRae (Dec 3, 2011)

Rose, 

This is not about the knitting it is about control on your daughter's part. Start knitting for someone who appreciates it and if anything is said.... hand her the yarn and needles for her to knit it herself.


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## cathy47 (Jun 6, 2011)

Rosenz said:


> My granddaughter is 15 months old and I have bought some wonderful patterns.
> 
> Yes my daughter does study every stitch.
> 
> Rosenz


Well then if she is that picky I wouldn't go out of my way and make one just to be torn down and made to feel inferior. Hand her the needles and yarn and tell her to do it herself. Or just go buy a sweater. Not worth that kind of heart ake period. Grandchildren are to enjoy nothing more.


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## janhon (Feb 23, 2012)

OMG i can't beleve this. ...... Can't put words on here!!!


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## Grannybear (Mar 29, 2011)

I would choose a nice boucle to knit the sweater with. Very hard to distinguish individual stitches in the bulk and curl of the wool. It will also make it easier on you to knit as plain knitting suits this yarn better anyway. So sorry your daughter doesn't appreciate the love and care put into the things you make. It took my younger dau a while before she realized that these things didn't happen by magic and she now asks for 'certain' things in 'certain' colours, style etc on a regular basis. I hope you have a similar awakening in your dau. Norah


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## PYRM (Dec 11, 2011)

I am sorry your daughter feels that way. I am very lucky, if I give something to one of my 6 and point out a mistake they say it is fine because you made it for me. Dad does woodworking and asked once if they had any of the things they bought with their Christmas money over the years. of course the answer was no but the same inquiry about the wood items the answer would be those will be passed to our grand kids. There is one thing for sure,, I would not buy anything


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## Ronie (Jan 21, 2011)

I like this idea best of all.... and then when she gets a bit older you can graduate to the American Doll series.. and we have seen some beautiful outfits knitted by the ladies here for those dolls..You could make the most adorable sweater outfits.. and when your daughter askes you to make them for her baby you could say... I could but they wouldn't be good enough... 
My sister use to be just like this... I hardly ever had money for gifts and one year some one set up a booth where all this wonderful stuff was very reasonable... just like the brand names but not... and I got her, her husband and little boy gifts... they weren't good enough and were reffered to as the 'knock off' that hurt my feelings so much... now that her career and marraige has all changed and she get lots of her stuff from the second hand stores shes changed her ideas of whats acceptable... we have a way of being knocked off our high horse and unfortunatly if we set our sites too high its quite a fall....



nan-ma said:


> insted of making thing for your ungratefull d make the baby a doll blanket and sweater,and give to her with a doll they fit along with the knitted items, then you get to give your gd and since they are toys the don't have to be perfect and still get the joy of making things for gd


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## Judyh (Apr 15, 2011)

I feel so much better after having read this entire thread. My youngest daughter had her first (and only she says) baby last August. I was so excited, as my other grands are in their teens. I knit a beautiful bunting for Cooper, made with wonderful bamboo yarn. I should have known better, because I was told by my D that she doesn't want anything hand made for the baby, only clothes from the GAP and other stores in that category. But I ventured on, spending many many hours completing it. Long story short, I gave it to her at her shower, and that is the last time I saw it. I told her it would be great for Cooper's baptism, as it was white. Well, that didn't happen.
You would think I would have learned, but Noooo. I also made a quilt for Cooper. I spend so many hours on it, I don't even want to think about it. It is appliquéd, and hand quilted. I was so happy because after he was born she had it hanging in his room, so at least it was not hidden in a closet. But that didn't last long, it disappeared! When I asked where it was, she told me that it was in his closet.
At this point, I decided enough was enough, so I stopped knitting for him. The other day (I am at her house - an hour away - 4 days a week to babysit) she told me that I could knit her some wash cloths to wipe the baby's face after he eats. What a slap in the face! So I guess I am good enough to knit something to wipe up dirt. Sorry, but I am so hurt and dejected that I sound bitter. I only want to do the best for not only her, but for my wonderful grandson.
WOW, I feel so much better having written all this down, sorry to be so long winded!


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## diddum (Aug 3, 2011)

Rosenz said:


> My granddaughter is 15 months old and I have bought some wonderful patterns.
> 
> Yes my daughter does study every stitch.
> 
> Rosenz


So, it seems to be your daughter who is the problem and your granddaughter is too young to know mistakes from boring old perfect. I would wait until your granddaughter is old enough to appreciate something made especially for her by a grandmother whom she will adore by that time. I also think that if her mother is so set on perfect, chances are that she will tend to go the opposite direction and not be so fussy.

Wishing you the best,

Someone who has also had items rejected and knows how it feels.


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## Idaho (Jul 28, 2011)

Needed another cup of coffee to calm down. Sad state of affairs when caffeine is calming. Lord almighty. I have the urge to slap some of these selfish brats silly.


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## Marilyn803 (Dec 4, 2011)

It tells me your daughter does not appreciate handknit items, therefore, I would not bother wasting my time and energy.


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## Classyone13 (Mar 22, 2012)

Varigated yarn seems to be very forgiving and also the yarns that have a slub or thick/thin areas.


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## PaKnitter (Mar 7, 2011)

I am fussy about my knitting but darn if I'm going to have anyone inspect my work like that. She would get a gift certificate to shop at her favorite store for her daughter and buy something made in China that was rolled out on the assembly line by the hundred's. 

I knit for many different charities. I get to do what I enjoy and someone with less than me appreciates it.


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## Marilyn803 (Dec 4, 2011)

Many, many young mothers today do not want handknit items. It's just a change in the times, I guess. I just accept it for what it is and don't bother knitting for babies anymore.


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## Beetytwird (Jan 19, 2011)

Okay Mom, time to get tough with the grown child! Every one else is correct, even the most expensive store bought items will have flaws. They are just hidden! I have altertered sweaters for some folks that were very nice, until you try to redo a hem or something. Then you see how they are really made. Make what ever you want for the precious little one...........give to daughter........tell her if you hear one, small, tiny, insignificant complaint, she will NEVER get a hand made item again. Then when she complains later about the quality of a store bought gift, remind her that SHE is the one who has determined the quality of gifts. If she were not so judgemental, she could have a one of a kind, made with love, nicer than any store bought item anywhere. When mine did that to me in high school, I told her I would never make her anything else.......about 10 years later she begged me to make her an afghan. Seems seeing others get hand made stuff from mom made her jealous! Now she apprechiates the effort and time involved. Hang in there, grandma, little one will be old enough someday for you to teach, then she can make things for you!


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## tired n' cranky (Aug 2, 2011)

Rosenz said:


> I want to knit a cardigan for my granddaughter. The trouble is if the knitting is not perfectly even or if there is a single mistake it is rejected. I have now started and unpicked four cardigans in different wools and designs. I feel so dejected I am too scared to try again.
> 
> I just cannot get every stitch even and sometimes make a mistake which I might miss.
> 
> ...


You need to relax! The problem is not with you or your knitting but with your daughter. She has some control and OCD issues that need to be dealt with or she stands to ruin her relationship with her mother. I would let her know the time and love put in to these garments and that she has hurt you deeply with her rejection of said garments. A 15mo. old certainly doesn't care about stitches or patterns, only that grandma made it for her. There is charm and character in handknits that machine made cannot replicate. Dear daughter needs to CHILL and you should knit for yourself and others whom you love.


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## Suzinky (Jan 31, 2011)

Just don't make it or give her a gift certificate so she can pick out something made in China. I don't have time for that kind of attitude toward handmade items, especially when it is made for a family member. Nope; gift certificate or nothing. Maybe I sound a little harsh, but I think a lot of us on this forum have run into that attitude. I just happen to not have time for it, so they get nothing handmade from me. :-D


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## Lalaine (Mar 10, 2012)

If I had a granddaughter or daughter who felt this way, I would make absolutely nothing for them, their arrogance and disrespect is abominable.


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## maybelle01 (Jan 2, 2012)

I find a bit of stategic embroidery or embellishments add that designer touch and cover up any number of sins, big or small, real or imagined. I've done this for myself more than once. I admire your patience. best wishes, Maybelle01.


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## Deanne (Jul 21, 2011)

I am so fortunate with my daughter and her two girls. I have knit afghans and sweaters for them and for my two great grandchildren and they wear them all the time. they are always telling me of the compliments they get on their sweaters. I know they truly appreciate everything I make them and it makes me want to just keep knitting for them.


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## SharonM (Nov 25, 2011)

If my GD treated me that way, she'd get a lecture (as would her mother for raising such a rude child)..... and I would not make (or buy) anything for her 'til she learned some manners.


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## DEE DEE (Jan 24, 2011)

sweetsue said:


> My goodness. Is she a knitter too? For her to be able to pick up any errors?
> I have a daughter who wants a sweater too but I know that if I make it - it will be the wrong colour or the wrong cable or something - so, I won't make one at all.
> Probably a moss stitch is one of the most forgiving stitches that I am aware of.


I totally agree with your suggestion. The moss stitch is lovely and very forgiving.


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## bellestarr12 (Mar 26, 2011)

I am so sorry! Sometimes in spite of doing the best we can - at knitting, raising kids, and everything in between - our children develop ideas and quirks that just seem to come out of nowhere! (at least that's been my experience). I'd probably just give up and knit for others who will appreciate your talents and the love and work you put into what you make, and wait a few years for your granddaughter's appreciation. If she has a mother who inspects every stitch (literally and metaphorically) she will probably be very happy to have a grandmother who's a bit more relaxed about life.


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## jbuell (Mar 5, 2012)

I would not knit anything for her either. A gift, especially a handmade one, should be appreciated by its' recipient. If your concerned about hurting her feelings by not giving her anything anymore, just remember, she isn't concerned about hurting yours.


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## virginia42 (Mar 13, 2011)

quote=Rosenz]My granddaughter is 15 months old and I have bought some wonderful patterns. 

Yes my daughter does study every stitch. 


Rosenz[/qu

At 15 mos. she studies every stitch? God help you & her parents. I would just knit for someone who appreciates it. Or as someone said maybe try the moss stitch.


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## virginia42 (Mar 13, 2011)

virginia42 said:


> quote=Rosenz]My granddaughter is 15 months old and I have bought some wonderful patterns.
> 
> Yes my daughter does study every stitch.
> 
> ...


Sorry I didn't read closely enough. It's the mother (your dtr.) who studies every stitch.


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## Schipperke (Nov 12, 2011)

What is wrong with so many of today's young mothers? They are in general short of money because, let's face it, having a baby today is an expensive thing to do. Yet hand made items are sniffed at and hidden away as though there is something 'not nice' about them. I have made a christening robe, smocked and shadow embroidery. One niece did use it and was thrilled. The one due any day now has flatly refused it. It's 'homemade', 'I'd rather have a bought one'!!!! Sadly she won't breast feed, not because she doesn't want to or can't, but because, 'our family don't do that sort of thing'!!!!
The young of today (some, not all), are so thoughtless, selfish and ungrateful. They want stuff that costs the earth and is probably far more inferior than things lovingly made by hand with good quality materials. 

I just don't understand them.


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## virginia42 (Mar 13, 2011)

Judyh said:


> I feel so much better after having read this entire thread. My youngest daughter had her first (and only she says) baby last August. I was so excited, as my other grands are in their teens. I knit a beautiful bunting for Cooper, made with wonderful bamboo yarn. I should have known better, because I was told by my D that she doesn't want anything hand made for the baby, only clothes from the GAP and other stores in that category. But I ventured on, spending many many hours completing it. Long story short, I gave it to her at her shower, and that is the last time I saw it. I told her it would be great for Cooper's baptism, as it was white. Well, that didn't happen.
> You would think I would have learned, but Noooo. I also made a quilt for Cooper. I spend so many hours on it, I don't even want to think about it. It is appliquéd, and hand quilted. I was so happy because after he was born she had it hanging in his room, so at least it was not hidden in a closet. But that didn't last long, it disappeared! When I asked where it was, she told me that it was in his closet.
> At this point, I decided enough was enough, so I stopped knitting for him. The other day (I am at her house - an hour away - 4 days a week to babysit) she told me that I could knit her some wash cloths to wipe the baby's face after he eats. What a slap in the face! So I guess I am good enough to knit something to wipe up dirt. Sorry, but I am so hurt and dejected that I sound bitter. I only want to do the best for not only her, but for my wonderful grandson.
> WOW, I feel so much better having written all this down, sorry to be so long winded!


So sorry to hear this. I hope that she learns to appreciate your loving work.


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## Rumrunner (Mar 21, 2011)

Rose Chase said:


> I have to tell you.....I would NOT make anything for her if that's the way she behaves - if someone gave something back to me I would consider it rude, ungrateful and inconsiderate.
> Not to mention a total disregard for someone's feelings.
> I put too much love into my things and when I gift them I expect appreciation.


Sorry to say your daughter is being a brat. I would try one more time and then find another little one that will be happy with a labor of 'love'. I think I would knit a sweater for one of your daughter's friends-that should rub it in.


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## Chrissy (May 3, 2011)

Rosenz said:


> My granddaughter is 15 months old and I have bought some wonderful patterns.
> 
> Yes my daughter does study every stitch.
> 
> Rosenz


Get your daughter to knit something, then pick our her faults!


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## bellestarr12 (Mar 26, 2011)

Schipperke wrote " Sadly she won't breast feed, not because she doesn't want to or can't, but because, 'our family don't do that sort of thing'!!!!"

Oh my goodness! Apparently what's best for the baby (and the mother - doesn't she know breast-feeding has benefits for moms as well?) is less important than how things "look" to the kinds of people whose opinions really shouldn't matter (given what some of those opinions are). These young women must lead very anxious and uninteresting lives. I suppose we really should pity them.


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## MargaretEllen (Dec 12, 2011)

Sorry to make this my first posting not about knitting. But could it be more of a psycological problem going on. New baby, too much time on her hands and looking for perfection. May be OCD, or something. It,s just a thought.


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## Johnna (Mar 27, 2011)

Rosenz said:


> I want to knit a cardigan for my granddaughter. The trouble is if the knitting is not perfectly even or if there is a single mistake it is rejected. I have now started and unpicked four cardigans in different wools and designs. I feel so dejected I am too scared to try again.
> 
> I just cannot get every stitch even and sometimes make a mistake which I might miss.
> 
> ...


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## Johnna (Mar 27, 2011)

Rosenz said:


> I want to knit a cardigan for my granddaughter. The trouble is if the knitting is not perfectly even or if there is a single mistake it is rejected. I have now started and unpicked four cardigans in different wools and designs. I feel so dejected I am too scared to try again.
> 
> I just cannot get every stitch even and sometimes make a mistake which I might miss.
> 
> ...


Only God is perfect. How old is the person you want to knit the sweater for?
Johnna


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## johannecw (Oct 25, 2011)

Hi,
Can you knit a sweater for your granddaughter and keep it at your house? Do you get to take care of your granddaughter without your daughter being around ever? Then you could enjoy seeing the sweater being worn. I hope you can enjoy knitting for your granddaughter and that your daughter learns to appreciate your work and your love for your granddaughter.


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## st1tch (Dec 13, 2011)

Rose Chase said:


> I have to tell you.....I would NOT make anything for her if that's the way she behaves - if someone gave something back to me I would consider it rude, ungrateful and inconsiderate.
> Not to mention a total disregard for someone's feelings.
> I put too much love into my things and when I gift them I expect appreciation.


I rarely post on here but this has absolutely incensed me! How ungrateful of her and I have to agree 100% with Rose Chase. Please, please don't let her stress you out. I wish my Mum could knit, even though I might not like the style she'd probably choose for me I would love it all the same because it would have been made with love especially for me. Big hugs to you.


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## korteruckmar (Dec 2, 2011)

The Amish purposely put in a mistake (something I don't even have to try, it just happens). They believe only God is perfect. Just think what this world would be like if people were only allowed to LOVE perfectly. I know I can't, and I know of only one person who did. BTW, machine-knit sweaters from stores aren't pefect, the mistakes are just hidden.


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## ann bar (Jul 11, 2011)

Knitting should be a relaxing enjoyable experience. Being under stress to make the "Perfect" sweater, in my opinion, defeats the whole idea. When you make something with love in every stich it should be received with love.
If you do a simple garter stitch it may satisfy your daughter. Choose a lovely color and enjoy the process. If it doesn't meet her standards...buy her some yarn and needles. Perhaps it's time for her to learn to knit.


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## ann bar (Jul 11, 2011)

Knitting should be a relaxing enjoyable experience. Being under stress to make the "Perfect" sweater, in my opinion, defeats the whole idea. When you make something with love in every stich it should be received with love.
If you do a simple garter stitch it may satisfy your daughter. Choose a lovely color and enjoy the process. If it doesn't meet her standards...buy her some yarn and needles. Perhaps it's time for her to learn to knit. 
oops posted twice sorry


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## librarylover (Apr 19, 2012)

Hi Risenz. How I sympathize! I've given up knitting wearable items for people altogether. Sad but true. If I risk anything, it's an afghan. The last two horror stories convinced me that I should stop. I knitted a little girl a "pansy poncho," beautiful shades of lavender with expensive pansy buttons. I, oops, found it on their basement floor soaking wet and molding. The next sweater-vest was for a college student, elaborately cabled and expensive to boot. The wool yarn alone cost $120. When I visited her apartment at the college, there was that sweater serving as a rug in her living room. No, I am not a bad knitter, but actually quite good. Am unappreciated though, definitely unappreciated. In your case also, I don't think it's the knitter's expertise which needs to be examined, but the attitude of the receiver.


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## m_azingrace (Mar 14, 2012)

Rosenz said:


> My granddaughter is 15 months old and I have bought some wonderful patterns.
> 
> Yes my daughter does study every stitch.
> 
> Rosenz


I think your daughter has a bigger problem than whether the knitting is perfect. If she expects nothing but perfection from a piece of fabric, what kind of high standard is she going to require from that precious little child? This breaks my heart.


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## Dakota Sun (May 25, 2011)

My Lord where did your daughter ever get the idea that things have to be perfect? We are only human and errors are made. Knit a doll blanket or something for a doll for the grand daughter and hope that your daughter will accept it, if not then I would say will this is the last thing I ever knit for someone who does not appreciate what is given to them. hopefully your grand daughter will want you to teach her to knit. I am happy to say I have two daughters and six grand children and a great grand daughter and they all appreciate every thing their father and I do for all of them. . Not once has either of the girls or grand children ever disliked what was made for them. They were happy to get hand made things. Keep your chin up and keep on knitting for those who appreciate it.
Dakota Sun


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## garnetlucy (Apr 22, 2012)

I wish we had a "Like" button here because I would high-five everyone who says not to make something for ungrateful, rude people. Make something beautiful for yourself and post an album of your works here and on Facebook (so they can see it). Many of us have worked hard to make something beautiful that is not appreciated - never again! Lots of good ideas and support in this discussion.


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## Dakota Sun (May 25, 2011)

Magenta: Beautiful wedding dress. How fortunate your daughter was to have you make her wedding dress. This something she will cherish for ever. 
Dakota Sun


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## Nilda muniz (Aug 14, 2011)

How sad.


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## Mary Cardiff (Mar 18, 2012)

Who other than your Daughter, would spot a small mistake once it on the Baby,


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## molz (Jan 31, 2012)

I tell my kids that the mistakes are MY signiture! They laugh!


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## tbforest (Feb 25, 2012)

I don't think a specific knitting pattern or tip regarding knitting is going to help you. This issue sounds like it goes way beyond knitting. Until the core issue is resolved, don't knit for your granddaughter until she is older. For now I would give Gift Cards.

How frustrating for you!


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## tidepools (Jul 26, 2011)

Oh, my dear, I am so sorry that your work receives that sort of rejection. I belong to a group that knits for needy ones and, believe me, in today's world, there are many. A homeless person welcomes a hat and scarf; school children rejoice to get a sweater; mothers are comforted by a layette; military families without a grandparent would be happy to be adopted....the list goes on.Knit for those who appreciate it. When your granddaughter is older, she will ask what you are doing - there's your chance.
Kitty


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## Britty43 (Jan 8, 2012)

I can't believe your daughter is so ungrateful and downright rude. I've been knitting and crocheting for my 4 yr old granddaughter since before she was born and my daughter is so pleased with everything. I wouldn't waste my time and money on her ... Like some of the other ladies have said make them for charity and show her what she's missing


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## trisha 54 (Feb 24, 2012)

I would agree if she is so picky then buy her the yarn, needles and pattern and let her make it for herself. If she makes a mistake then it is on her


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## Joann Cartwright (Mar 1, 2011)

Go ahead & make the sweater. If it is not excepted give it to a deserving child.!!!!! You will feel good about it, believe me!


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## librarylover (Apr 19, 2012)

Two points. 1) Read an article in a knitting magazine years ago that people are actually preferring hand knit sweaters because the subtle variations in the stitches, (which most refer to as flaws) clearly show that the sweater was hand made. 2) Personally I don't think it's the dramatic, tragic life experiences which wear us down, but the day to day interactions with ingratitude, selfishness and on and on. Please don't, as they say, let the turkeys get you down. Keep knitting beautiful things and infuse each stitch with subtle imperfections, those little "flaws" of love.


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## knittykitty (Mar 22, 2011)

Good Grief! The knit police are everywhere.

Just a note to say, have you ever looked at old knitting? It appears perfectly formed. Knitted fabric is always trying to balance itself. Every time you wash and block the fabric the stitches look more even. I always thought those knitters of yore, must have been very expert, until I learned this little bit of info.

knittykitty


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## trisha 54 (Feb 24, 2012)

As a social worker/therapist I have to agree that she definitely has some OCD issues


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## chuilady (Feb 21, 2011)

Your daughter doesn't want your handcrafted gifts. My friend is going through the same upsetting learning curve. Her grandson is 20 months. She's knitted so many beautiful articles for him and the child's mother put all his 'stuff that didn't fit and that she didn't want' into bins to be sold on Craig's List for $25 each.
My friend is heartbroken: asked "Don't you want to keep some for keepsakes?" Was asked, WHY? 
On an average, the only 'things' respected by most of the younger generations
today are things like cell phones, iPods & iPads...


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## damemary (Mar 14, 2012)

Teach her to knit.


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## trisha 54 (Feb 24, 2012)

I have to agree give them to charity


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## shealynnmarie (Oct 1, 2011)

If someone gives you a gift and you reject it, you are ungrateful. I would not make any more for her but unwound make them for others. My sister is that way, but my nieces and nephews love their gifts. Buy store bought from somewhere else and give the good homemade knits to people that appreciate not only tHe work but the finished product.


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## Linda6885 (Feb 13, 2011)

She is way, way too much a perfectionist. Unfortunately, perfectionists hurt themselves by never being happy with what they have. I believe you hinder her my catering to her unhappiness with your knitting. You might tell her there are no absolute perfect hand knitters, and part of the charm of handknitting are those individual imperfections from every knitter. No two knitters knit exactly alike. I would stop trying to please her, because you will never accomplish this, and you will only make yourself unhappy in not being able to please her! A circle, round and round you go! Learn you can not please her.


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## damemary (Mar 14, 2012)

Teach her to knit, and then teach her that what goes round comes around.


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## sblanch (Sep 27, 2011)

This may not seem relevant, but the concept is the same. For years I went and bought Christmas gifts for all the grandchildren and great grandchildren and then spent the money to ship them all over the US because I believe that the giving of the gift is more important than the receiving of the gift. It is truly the love that is attached. Well one of the Mother's sent me an e-mail one day in March of the next year and wondered if I could return the gifts for her daughter because she did not like them. My e-mail back was simple....too late for returns, and my action the following Christmas for her children was simple also...here is a check. If I were you I would say to your daughter......here is a check for the yarn and the pattern, she can then pay someone else for their time and I am sure that a paid professional would not take any guff. Now of course there would not be any LOVE attached, but maybe your daughter thinks she can get that for free from someone else. If the gift makes you feel so under stress then the pleasure of giving is lost. Sometimes our kids need lessons even when they are older.


Rosenz said:


> I want to knit a cardigan for my granddaughter. The trouble is if the knitting is not perfectly even or if there is a single mistake it is rejected. I have now started and unpicked four cardigans in different wools and designs. I feel so dejected I am too scared to try again.
> 
> I just cannot get every stitch even and sometimes make a mistake which I might miss.
> 
> ...


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## motherdawg (Feb 13, 2011)

Hello...she is a BRAT and I would stop making her things.


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## Friederike (Aug 26, 2011)

Dear Rosenz, I don't know why your daughter demands perfection. Perhaps she is a bit obsessive compulsive and therefore can't help herself. I would not try to knit any clothing or blankets for the baby. It will just create anxiety and disappointment for you and your daughter. And... remember, knitting should be fun. Maybe you can knit some cute toys made with fun fur. These yarns would certainly hide any unevenness or mistake and all babies like soft furry toys. As for the cute patterns you have purchased, I would still knit them up and if your daughter sees the finnished items and likes them you may want to let her have them. If not, save them for gifts or donations. Hope all will work out for you the way it was meant to :thumbup:


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## yarnawhile (Apr 9, 2012)

I'll bet when your granddaughter is old enough to choose her clothes and speak for herself she'll love the things you make for her and drive her perfectionist mother nuts with some of the outfits she puts together. Meanwhile I'd take some of the other advice and knit for a doll and other babies or charities.


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## grandmann (Feb 4, 2011)

I use to try to please my children with my knitting. My youngest daughter will often not accept what i was making. I started to knit for myself, others and charity. You will be surprise how fast my knitting projects became attention to her eye. I don't know if I became a better knitter or all of sudden she realize what she is missing out of. 

Enjoy your knitting, Knit what your heart leads you to do.


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## denisejh (May 20, 2011)

Rose-Blocking tends to even things out. Block the pieces before you sew them together. I'm sorry to say this but your daughter's attitude disturbs me. I would have so loved for my either of my grandmothers to have made me anything but neither knit or sewed to my knowledge. At least I was able to spend time with them. You should be able to make things for your grandaughter and have them accepted with love and appreciation for the love and effort you put into them. Perhaps your daughter should look at the high-fashion magazines like Vogue, etc, as well as the knitting magazines. All the handknits in all those magazines show the imperfections that are in handknits. You should go ahead and knit what you want. If your daughter refuses what you've made, give it to someone who will appreciate it. At least you will have had the enjoyment of the project and knowing someone likes and appreciates what you have done. Your daughter and (unfortunately) your grandaughter will be the losers. Don't let this get you down or ruin knitting for you. You could always make larger things for your grandaughter and put them away to give to her later when it's her choice and not your daughters. Best to you. Denise


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## shaney63 (Nov 30, 2011)

I hate to say it, but I have a feeling it has nothing at all to do with your knitting skills whether perfect or full of errors. Some people simply do not like handmade anything!

I have a dear friend and colleague who is in the same boat. Her knitting is flawless, and I do mean FLAWLESS. She has knitted her granddaughter some of the most darling cardies and other items, but do you think her daughter-in-law can get over her picky preferences to appreciate it? Nope. Little granddaughter gets to wear the beautiful knitted items when she comes to visit grandma and that's about it. Whatever she sends home with granddaughter goes into a closet or drawer to be forgotten and replaced with a designer brand.

My son is like that as well... His clothing just has to have American Eagle or some other famous brand name attached to it or he doesn't wear it. I used to think he was so snobby and materialistic to be that way until I took a good look at my yarn and needle stash. I hate to admit it... I'm a yarn snob. LOL I must admit that I have turned down perfectly good yarn because it wasn't quite up to my oh-so-picky standards.

And so, I just don't knit for him. I knit for my 25 year old daughter, and she goes crazy over anything I make for her or for my 20 month old grandson. My 23 yr old son gets no knitting from me because it's a waste of time and good yarn. I have offered to knit for my son-in-law, and he tries to smile but it looks more like a painful wince... won't knit for him. 

It's not personal.

Instead I offer him and my son other gifts. Gift cards, for example.


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## hersh (Nov 7, 2011)

8 Furry Kids said:


> Dont set yourself up for another rejection. gift certificate! Anything you buy probably wouldnt be the right size, color, brand etc.


I agree 100%.stop playing the game. It takes 2. Plus the little one is a sponge.....and learning all these skills by association. If you feel the need to bless your GD birthdays etc.........do it with a gift certificate of the smallest order. When GD is able to read & understand value, may I suggest a book on saving $ from young. With your daughter's teaching she will need this survival skill to get through life. How sad,your family has a princess plus one in the making.


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## StitchingFool (Jan 31, 2011)

Rosenz said:


> I want to knit a cardigan for my granddaughter. The trouble is if the knitting is not perfectly even or if there is a single mistake it is rejected. I have now started and unpicked four cardigans in different wools and designs. I feel so dejected I am too scared to try again.
> 
> I just cannot get every stitch even and sometimes make a mistake which I might miss.
> 
> ...


Dearf Rosenz:

Most said to knit those patterns and give away to someone else. Try a charity. As for your Granddaughter, wait till she can talk and ask her if she wants Grandma to knit her something. When you present, be sure your daughter knows it was granddaughter's request. Maybe by that time she will have more tolerance and accept it.


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## chorbanxx (Mar 8, 2012)

Dear Rosenz, If your daughter is so "picky", I would not knit for the baby, as much ss you'd like to. Your daughter's
criticism is rude and insulting to you.
Knit for someone who appreciates the work and time you spend.


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## Kathie (Mar 29, 2011)

I wonder if your daughter is like this with everything. If she is, maybe she has mental issues and needs help. If this is saved for you, she is just ringing your bell and I wouldn't make anything more for your granddaughter until she is old enough to pick things herself. I like the idea of making things, showing them to her and telling her you will donate it to charity if she doesn't like it. You have to mean it though, or your feelings will be really hurt. The idea of knitting for your granddaughter when she is older and possibly for a hope chest is wonderful. You want your granddaughter to know you were eager to do things for her even is she doesn't have them to remember wearing.


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## jilli (Jun 20, 2011)

Hope this hasn't already been said and I missed it. 
My suggestion would be to choose something that you really want to make for your GD. Make it and do your best. Then when GD comes for a visit, put it on her at your house. When she is ready to leave, take it back. You keep it. Put it on her the next time or 2 so that you can enjoy seeing her in it. Then you keep the cardi. When she is old enough to care, give it to your GD. Take pictures of her in it to share with her later as she is too young now to remember. Some day she will be happy that her Grandma made her something so special, even if your daughter doesn't think so now.


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## smontero237 (Dec 5, 2011)

I have two great-nephews that are 2 months apart. The older ones mother appreciates everything I have made, the younger one doesn't, I don't even think he has ever wore the sweater I made. I don't knit for the younger except the occasional holiday hat where both boys will be there.


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## julielovespurple (Dec 21, 2011)

Rosenz said:


> I want to knit a cardigan for my granddaughter. The trouble is if the knitting is not perfectly even or if there is a single mistake it is rejected. I have now started and unpicked four cardigans in different wools and designs. I feel so dejected I am too scared to try again.
> 
> I just cannot get every stitch even and sometimes make a mistake which I might miss.
> 
> ...


Maybe, if she isn't going to even appreciate the hard work, she's not someone to make the cardigan for, or even knit for in general.


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## Friederike (Aug 26, 2011)

All these wonderful patterns for baby things you have accquired, you should knit them all. Do you have craft shows in your area? Maybe give Etsy a try or any other venue available in your area. I bet there are lots of people who would love to purchase hand made items made with love. Don't let your perfectionist daughter spoil it for you. Sadly, she is harming herself enough as is ! The baby will grow up soon enough and I bet you'll see the day when she'll want Grandma to knit something for her :thumbup:


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## i knit (Jan 17, 2011)

this might sound mean but i wouldnt bother!


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## jonesy57 (Apr 10, 2012)

I would refuse to make her anything - what an ungrateful person


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## ladydog (Nov 21, 2011)

I agree with Colleen - buy her a sweater. 
We knit for the joy of it, not to be stressed by an ungrateful reciever, even if she is family....
Sharon


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## JAShier (Dec 22, 2011)

Had the same issue, now I knit for Charity or myself.


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## Hazel Blumberg - McKee (Sep 9, 2011)

Rosenz said:


> I want to knit a cardigan for my granddaughter. The trouble is if the knitting is not perfectly even or if there is a single mistake it is rejected. I have now started and unpicked four cardigans in different wools and designs. I feel so dejected I am too scared to try again.
> 
> I just cannot get every stitch even and sometimes make a mistake which I might miss.
> 
> ...


Goodness! These are not folks I would want to knit for!

I'd suggest using mohair and simple stockinette stitch or garter stitch. Mohair hides a multitude of errors.

But I'd really ask myself if I wanted to knit for these people. Knit because you enjoy it. Don't put so much pressure on yourself. You're driving yourself crazy, and it's just not worth it.

If they want perfection, let them buy something from a store.

Just my $.02.

Hazel


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## sibergirl (May 4, 2011)

Dear Rosenz, do not, I repeat, do NOT knit her anything else until she changes her ways. She is controlling you and you are enabling her to do so. You can use your time to knit for charity.


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## callmechicken (Oct 21, 2011)

i think she's trying to tell you she doesn't want anything handmade.


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## mallardhen (Sep 24, 2011)

What is going on in the heads of people these days? I have looked at a lot of knit items in the store and have yet to find one that is perfect in every detail, the machines are set up by humans and your end product is only as good as the person who set it up in the first place. What your daughter is rejecting are future memories that can never be replaced and there are no do-overs.

I think I would wait until the grandaughter is a lot older then make her a sweater or something, and give it to her before the mother see's it; have you ever tried to get something away from a kid who has already fallen in love with it, doesn't work.

Daughter also needs a good swift boot in the fanny for being so rude. There are some who believe that everything they make needs to have a flaw because their is only one perfect person ever, the good Lord above.


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## knitknack (Oct 30, 2011)

I have to agree with some of the others. Knitting is a act of love, and if those receiving it don't love it, there are plenty of people out there who would cherish having it.
My children, all grown with families of their own, still have some of the sweaters I knit for them many years ago, take care of it as if it were the most expensive jewels in the world, and never can thank me enough for taking the time to make something for them, while I never got to make anything for myself.
Knit for someones baby, take pics of it, show it to your daughter, and let her see that someone else will love and enjoy every moment of having something hand knit. As far as I know, God didn't make everyone perfect, and if he couldn't neither can I make my knitted items perfect.


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## mernie (Mar 20, 2011)

Stop knitting for this ungrateful brat. You deserve better than that.


Rosenz said:


> I want to knit a cardigan for my granddaughter. The trouble is if the knitting is not perfectly even or if there is a single mistake it is rejected. I have now started and unpicked four cardigans in different wools and designs. I feel so dejected I am too scared to try again.
> 
> I just cannot get every stitch even and sometimes make a mistake which I might miss.
> 
> ...


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## CarolfromTX (Nov 30, 2011)

some fuzzy yarns cover up mistakes very we;;. Pick a simple pattern and go for it. Is it your daughter or daughter-in-law? If it's a DIL, I'd say she's trying to get to you.


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## knittykitty (Mar 22, 2011)

Another thought. Knit a special blanket for the baby. When she is old enough to take it home, she will really love it that Grandma made her a special Blankie. As a former Project Linus coordinator, I can assure you that children just love those blankets made especially for them.

knittykitty


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## diane647 (Sep 25, 2011)

Knit for someone else. Don't ever be afraid of what anyone thinks. I'm sure that your work is beautiful. I would appreciate it, whatever it is.


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## charliz (May 17, 2011)

She needs to get a life.


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## Hazel Blumberg - McKee (Sep 9, 2011)

charliz said:


> She needs to get a life.


Couldn't agree more! 

Hazel


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## Wynn11 (Jul 20, 2011)

Roze, I have a DIL that won't wear anything on my GD that isn't perfect, too. She's a loving girl, but is so fussy I feel sorry for her. I know she discards them. It hurt at first, but then I learned not to make anything. It's been over a year and she doesn't even hint that I make anything now. I haven't made anything for my GD for over a year. I sure know how you feel. Good luck and just know that your knitting is absolutely perfect for someone else.


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## Palenque1978 (Feb 16, 2011)

sibergirl said:


> Dear Rosenz, do not, I repeat, do NOT knit her anything else until she changes her ways. She is controlling you and you are enabling her to do so. You can use your time to knit for charity.


Well said; I totally agree with sibergirl's comments. Yes, knit for charity and for yourself.


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## DianaM (Mar 30, 2011)

Let her knit her own cardigan. You knit for someone who isn't as picky!


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## Damama (Oct 2, 2011)

gdhavens said:


> It isn't the granddaughter but the daughter that is such a perfectionist. Make something for the granddaughter, maybe a blanket or a toy. You could get a very special stuffed animal or a doll and knit matching outfits for GD and toy. If these are rejected by the daughter, keep them at your home for your granddaughter to enjoy when with you. At 15 months a child doesn't have much say in what she has to wear, but at 15 years she will!!! Maybe then she will get a chance to wear the things made with love from Grandma.


Win, Win solution. :thumbup:


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## LoriRuth (Apr 14, 2012)

That is exactly what I was thinking. Make her a doll, there are very cute patterns out there then you can add to it, clothing, as your granddaughter gets older.

When I was cross-stitching I read something once that made me feel good about making an occasional error....it was that a mistake was purposely made by this person because the only one that can make things perfect and is perfect is God...now I don't feel so bad if a mistake is made!


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## deshka (Apr 6, 2011)

Boy, you got a lot of responses on this, and I like what missvix had to say. Let that d see you knitting a baby sweater, if she asks who it's for, tell her a friend had a baby and you are making the baby something. If she mentions your gd, tell her you will make one when she's older because then you can give it to the little girl herself. I would be crushed if I was treated the way you are being treated. So, leave out the reason for the friction between you and d. and see if things are ok. There may be something else nawing at her, besides unperfect knitting.


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## Knitry (Dec 18, 2011)

Oh, SO many good ideas. I liked the doll idea and even more the "would you like to pick something from these I've made for others?" idea.

But you know what, wjatever idea you might chose, have you also thought of having a discussion with her? (I'm getting ready to have a similar small discussion with my son when he stops this evening, tho not about knitting.) 

I'd say something like this: "You know, I love to knit, and there's nothing a knitter loves more than lavishing the fruits of her labor on those she loves. I SO want to knit for my granddaughter -- now, please don't interrupt until I'm finished -- but I feel so intimidated because I know what a perfectionist you are, and that you study every stitch. Hand knitted garments are never going to be perfect and that is part of their charm. So I'm reluctant to knit for ____(name)___ but I really, really want to. What can we do about this? Or should I just knit for someone else's grandchildren or charity instead?" 

And of course, when granddaughter is just a wee bit older, you'll be able to knit for her anyway!! (Tee hee)

Good luck. Just know that there is a way through this that is a win/win situation for all.


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## Joanie 5 (Apr 12, 2011)

How rude! NO ONE, Nor anything is perfect. I thought that little "errors" in our knitting were angel kisses????? If she wants "perfect" maybe she should do it herself. God Bless you.


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## Alpaca Farmer (Jan 19, 2011)

Too bad that she does not let her little girl enjoy something beautiful and handmade from Grandma. 
I have a friend who handmade a lovely wooden cradle for her daughter's baby shower, and because it was not store bought, it wasn't "good enough". They are so ungrateful and don't appreciate the labor of love.


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## frannie di (Nov 30, 2011)

andyjmcc said:


> You're dealing with KIDS. They can be that way. I just wouldn't make it for her...you don't need to be made to feel that way. I'd give her something she wants and would treasure and keep. Then she'll know Grandma loves her and will appreciate Grandma for knowing her so well THE REST OF HER LIFE.


No you are not dealing with kids but adult children you have learned this behavior. Sit her down and ask why she is so critical and how it makes you feel. If this dosen't get thru to her then don't try. When your GD is old enough to understand explain to her that you would love to knit for her but that Mommy always finds something wrong with it and see how you GD reacts.


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## tamarque (Jan 21, 2011)

The perfect gift for her is a therapist. Anyone that controlling and perfectionist is pathological and needs help. I would not make anything for her and would also tell her so and why. It sounds like your mental health is being trampled on here. Your daughter sound like the prototype for the adage "no good deed goes unpunished!"


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## Alpaca Farmer (Jan 19, 2011)

Reminds me of a time when I crocheted a nice winter hat for my GD. The next time she visited, I found it shoved in the bottom of her backpack. I asked why she didn't wear it. She said that her mother (my DIL) said it was Weird and she shouldn't wear it to school.
Very much hurt me, but I didn't make anything more for that family. My daughters children love their handmade things, even the teenagers.


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## MMyummy (Feb 1, 2012)

About 20 years ago, I was knitting a sweater for my oldest daughter when we decided to pay her a visit. I was in such a rush to finish said sweater, I made one sleeve a little too long. I don't think I've heard the end of it yet. Buy her one.


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## mkjfrj (Apr 2, 2011)

Forget about making something for your daughter and instead make something for yourself that she can admire or not. If you don't want to make something for yourself, make something for cancer patients - a cap, a lap robe, a prayer shawl - these things are always welcome and needed.


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## JuneS (Nov 3, 2011)

My Aunt had that problem with her daugher-in-law, nothing she sewed or knitted for her granddaughters was good enough. Then one day she was wondering why her girls never got anything made by grandma and she was told. My aunt is long gone now and the granddaughters now wish they had something she had made. We neices and nephews have all the treasures and are passing them down to our families, and these things are much loved and cherished.


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## mopgenorth (Nov 20, 2011)

Tell her it's made "perfectly imperfect" and with love. I'm going to assume she is a teenager/young woman no older than early twenties - unless she is being outright rude (in which case she needs to be reprimanded) that kind of behavior is very typical for that genre - they have not yet expanded their horizons beyond what lies in their own tiny world. Although she may remain particular throughout her life, this too shall pass. Remember this time for it will be fun to fondly tease her of her younger years behavior in the future.


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## donmaur (Mar 4, 2012)

I think its time to pass the needles to her or knit for someone else People need to see the love we put in every stitch


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## jaharmon (Sep 27, 2011)

Some people are knitworthy and others are not. check an essay by the Yarn Harlot. I agree. When you knit someone a gift ie a scarf and find it on the dog or in your case returned due to minor inperfections give it to someone who will appreciate it. DON"T let your daughter hold you hostage over this. Knitting is for your pleasure and comfort. Good Luck.


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## lomarangely (Mar 5, 2011)

I, too, have a picky daughter.......but not this picky. It seems to me that you have a few options. One, the first one to try, is to not knit for her. This does not have to be forever, but since she does not care for the way you presently knit, then knit for yourself or for someone else who likes your style. This is pretty obvious as a solution to the problem. You have done many, many things for her. Knitting for her is not mandatory. Next, you could try to improve your knitting. If you are a knitter, you are probably trying to do this already. This does not mean to try more complicated patterns. It means to slow down and start looking for habits that will make your projects more perfect in their execution. She will notice these improvements and will want you to knit for her when you are more accomplished. In the interim, you will have time to contemplate just exactly who is worthy of receiving your perfectly handmade gifts. These are heirlooms to be treasured; worth hundreds of dollars each. If you were to shop for such an item, it could cost thousands of dollars. So give this a lot of thought. I have seen gorgeous handmade items at Goodwill and thought what an ungrateful recipient must have donated these. Certainly, anyone who has put this much effort into a sweater or afgan would never toss them out. They would unravel them and re-use the yarn if they were not happy with the finished product! In trying to teach your daughter to be grateful, you need to refrain from gift-giving to her so that she will have some reason to be more appreciative.


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## acourter (Sep 30, 2011)

Wouldn't waste my time. Let "Miss Perfect" knit her daughter the perfect sweater. Life is way too short to spend your time allowing that much stress to be piled on you. 

That's what I would do!


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## RavenRose (Nov 18, 2011)

MabbyRosenz...I agree with everything everyone said...the
Amish believe in always making deliberately or accidentally a "mistake...dropped stitch, etc."....mythology says to be perfect is to offend the Deities...a human challenged Ariadne who turned her into a spider because of her perfect weaving...thus we have spiders... :lol: my heart does feel for you because one of my daughters does this with clothing, toy, book...anything I buy or I make for granddaughter....she wants the money to buy what SHE wants her to have....you are not alone and I hear this from other Mabbies...not all, mind you.....one daughter is very appreciative of gitfs and clothing....let it go sis and use your creativity and knitting skills where they are appreciated....that's what I do....


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## bettyirene (Apr 5, 2012)

nan-ma said:


> insted of making thing for your ungratefull d make the baby a doll blanket and sweater,and give to her with a doll they fit along with the knitted items, then you get to give your gd and since they are toys the don't have to be perfect and still get the joy of making things for gd


Bettyirene knows exactly how you feel, as anything I make for my 15 month old Granddaughter, never gets worn. It is just a waste of your time and effort....don't bother - wait until GD is a bit older and she will choose a sweater for you to make - I have learned the hard way....


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## Rosette (Oct 7, 2011)

17 pages on this subject already! I think perhaps your daughter does not want you to knit things for your granddaughter and this is her way of saying so. I dressed all 3 of my children in clothes given to me, some hand made some bought, that were not my taste. But all these things had been made or bought with love for my babies and I understood and appreciated that. Make toys or a blankie for your gd and consider keeping them at your house for when they visit. Happy knitting


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## Cassius (Dec 2, 2011)

I am wondering why you are continuing knitting for someone who does not appreciate it. Knitting is suppose to be fun and relaxing.


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## JillF (Feb 17, 2011)

When my second son got married and had babies, I was so excited to be able to knit for them. But my daughter in law had a mother who was a seamstress and crocheter. She on one hand thought homemade things were everyday, and wanted brand names, and on the other hand thought life was one big competition. She didn't knit and was very jealous that I could. Everything I ever made was thrown on the floor like trash. I didn't knit for my grandkids until 10 yrs later when they divorced. My son kept custody of the kids and they are all now tweens and teens. They jump up and down excited to get the things I make them now. So it all evens out. My own youngest daughter would rather have name brands for my 2 grandsons, but the 2 yr old is right beside me saying "what you doing Grandma, is it for me?" LOL She can't stop either one of them from wearing what I make. I think your daughter just doesn't prefer handmade things and uses the stitching as her excuse. Let the GD decide when she is a little older.


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## Margie1802 (Apr 22, 2012)

My personal opinion is to wait until your grandchild is able to make her own decisions about what she wants from Grandma. It sounds a bit like your daughter might be the perfectionist, not your granddaughter. You can make things like scarves and afghans that your granddaughter can use at your house, when her mother is not around (just a thought).


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## Nonan (Mar 27, 2011)

I'd be really hurt. I can't imagine the amount of time that you have put into trying to make a perfect sweater. Nothing is perfect. It's too bad that your family is ungrateful. I made my mother a cabled sweater years ago. She never wore it. I know how you must feel.


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## Margie1802 (Apr 22, 2012)

My mother passed away this past June and my father was kind enough to let me have all the handknits she had made for herself. (He wasn't about to give me anything she had made for him) (not that I would have asked.) She taught me to knit also and I have made things for my daughter, who also knits. I am so grateful that I have not only the things my mother made for me, but the ones she made for herself. It makes me feel closer to her spirit. It may sound cruel, but I hope your daughter lives long enough to feel the pain of having none of your handiwork to hug and admire when you are gone. 

When I pick up a sweater my mother made, I look at her lace work and see where I got the habit of making small changes in the pattern. I remember watching her knit a Fair Isle sweater (green base color) for me that I still have and wear. In her handknits, I have an almost identical sweater in blue that she made for herself, as her first Fair Isle project, to learn how to do the shoulder pattern in the round.


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## KarenJo (Feb 24, 2011)

Your daughter clearly doesn't want a hand knit piece of clothing from you. Knit for others. Knit a toy that the 15 month old can play with at your home. Knit in front of your granddaughter and maybe when she is older, she'll ask for something from grandma!!!


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## SueFerns (Aug 16, 2011)

Don't we all know those 'mistakes' are "in the pattern" :lol: :lol: Mine are - haven't had anything returned at all.


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## RavenRose (Nov 18, 2011)

Well put....RavenRose who is proudly wearing her Watermelon shrug, fresh off the needles.....suppose there are a few "mistakes" but it is lovely and soooo warm on my back & shoulders this windy cool day....I now knit the "crone way"....  which is adapting the pattern to the "path of least resistance" or easiest way possible...use pattern as general guidelines....get much joy and contentment out of my knitting these days...not like the perfect knitting of my youth but oh-so-much-more fun and satisfying...no complaints from me... :shock: ;-)


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## dec2057 (May 30, 2011)

Seriously? 4 times? You have a lot more patience and tolerance than I do. If one of my kids or grandkids were that picky, all they would get from me is a lesson on manners.

Thankfully, my family appreciates everything I make them. There are a few times they have given me back what I made, expressing gratitude for the item but letting me know it wasn't the color they liked or pattern, and that is more than okay because they all know I can't stand things sitting around not used and I will simply include it in the current donation going out to the sick and needy from ReliefShare.org

My advice is to be happily knitting for someone who isn't so critically judgmental - knitting is supposed to be relaxing and fun, and just go purchase a sweater for your granddaughter or better yet, since your daughter is so picky - give her the money and let her go buy something she likes.


Rosenz said:


> I want to knit a cardigan for my granddaughter. The trouble is if the knitting is not perfectly even or if there is a single mistake it is rejected. I have now started and unpicked four cardigans in different wools and designs. I feel so dejected I am too scared to try again.
> 
> I just cannot get every stitch even and sometimes make a mistake which I might miss.
> 
> ...


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## knittingbee (Jan 18, 2011)

Is your grandaughter 15? As the mother of 4 girls and grandmother of 2 girls, I warn you that 15 year old girls are VERY picky and not to be knitted for. LOL Seriously, I think you should skip the work for someone that causes you dejection and bad feelings and knit yourself something you will enjoy.


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## nittineedles (Apr 14, 2011)

I have a daughter like that. I don't knit for her or anyone in her family. Sad but it's the only way to hang on to my sanity.


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## nittineedles (Apr 14, 2011)

knittingbee said:


> Is your grandaughter 15? As the mother of 4 girls and grandmother of 2 girls, I warn you that 15 year old girls are VERY picky and not to be knitted for. LOL Seriously, I think you should skip the work for someone that causes you dejection and bad feelings and knit yourself something you will enjoy.


The granddaughter is 15 months old. It's the granddaughter's mother who rejects imperfect knits.


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## arwenian (Aug 15, 2011)

Rosenz said:


> I want to knit a cardigan for my granddaughter. The trouble is if the knitting is not perfectly even or if there is a single mistake it is rejected. I have now started and unpicked four cardigans in different wools and designs. I feel so dejected I am too scared to try again.
> 
> I just cannot get every stitch even and sometimes make a mistake which I might miss.
> 
> ...


Only gift knitting where it is appreciated. Use good yarn and be fashion concious and provide care instructions. I have seen many handmade sweaters, usually made from Walmart's finest yarn, at goodwill in pristine condition. But mostly make sure your recipient appreciates the love and care that goes into it.I would rather knit for charity or to sell than for my relatives who don't get it. The beauty of hand knitting is the slight irregularity of stitches and the nice yarn. You won't see that in commercial knitting...at least not under $200-300.


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## SusanYEngland (Oct 25, 2011)

I'm going to chime in again on this, if you don't mind.
When I was in my early teens, my maternal grandfather decided to hand make jewelry boxes for the granddaughters. All of the 6 other girls got one he'd made by hand, with beautiful joins and a little carving too. But, because my dad made his living in woodwork, Grandpa went out and bought my box. He was afraid his work would not compare with my dad's. 
Today I'm 62 and I cherish my jewelry box, BUT (!) I always felt cheated that the other girls got hand made boxes while I only got a store bought one.
Your daughter has no idea how much she is cheating her daughter by not accepting your gifts 'as is'.


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## Princessofquitealot (Oct 26, 2011)

I too am struggling with the issue of gratitude within my extended family but not from my children. I will no longer knit or sew or bead anything for my sisters' children. I'll just buy made in China crap/junk at Wal-Mart and they will be happy. I won't have spent my time and have my feelings hurt. It's taken me awhile, but I've learned self-respect.


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## rilady (Feb 16, 2012)

Does your daughter have a compulsion with perfection... I cannot imagine going through an item for a 15 mos old to try to find imperfections.. I agree with the others, do not knit her anything. Buying sounds like the best bet as I don't think there is anything perfectly made.. Does your daughter knit? If she does I would love to see how she ends up "perfect". I hope all goes well for you..


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## hersh (Nov 7, 2011)

Rosenz said:


> I want to knit a cardigan for my granddaughter. The trouble is if the knitting is not perfectly even or if there is a single mistake it is rejected. I have now started and unpicked four cardigans in different wools and designs. I feel so dejected I am too scared to try again.
> 
> I just cannot get every stitch even and sometimes make a mistake which I might miss.
> 
> ...


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## Topsy (May 7, 2011)

I like nan-ma's idea of knitting a small sweater and blanket for the little girls doll. I have 5 granddaughters and have done this for several of them. If the baby's mother rejects this gift, then she will know her daughter doesn't really care for hand-knitted items.


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## Kissnntell (Jan 14, 2012)

some fuzzy yarn, like mohair or such. hard 2 c the stitches thru the fuzz. she finds anything then, she's a super hero lolol


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## crecol71 (Aug 21, 2011)

Rosenz said:


> I want to knit a cardigan for my granddaughter. The trouble is if the knitting is not perfectly even or if there is a single mistake it is rejected. I have now started and unpicked four cardigans in different wools and designs. I feel so dejected I am too scared to try again.
> 
> I just cannot get every stitch even and sometimes make a mistake which I might miss.
> 
> ...


I'd be giving it a miss if I were you. Knit for someone who appreciates your work. Families can be very unforgiving can't they?


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## GrannyGoode (Oct 9, 2011)

I sincerely hope you've gotten an answer in these 18 pages so far. Wish I could help you. 
But my heart goes out to you for all you go through regarding your daughter's penchant for perfection.
You're a WONDERFUL GRANDMA for all your trying to turn out the perfect, 'accepted' sweater for your little sweetling.


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## knittingbee (Jan 18, 2011)

Amen!!


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## jjane139 (Mar 16, 2011)

A couple of the ideas here sound excellent to me. Having a special hand-knitted toy or two played with only at Grandma's house will delight small children and give them extra-special memories for the rest of their lives. Finding a special sweater at Grandma's house, to be worn there only and not taken home, will do the same. When the little girl outgrows that special sweater, it can be given to charity, and meanwhile Grandma can be knitting one in the next bigger size. Very Picky Mother can't object to these ways around her dictum about tiny flaws, can she?


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## andie1040 (Feb 5, 2011)

Just tell her those uneven stitches are where you put the love in and say nothing more. I think the idea of toys and baby blankets are better for now. When grandaughter can speak for herself she will love everything you make for her!


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## Alta Grama (Apr 16, 2012)

Dear Rosenz, you are very generous-hearted to continue trying to please your daughter. I understand that you want to make a "love gift" for your granddaughter but I think it is time you built yourself some boundaries. You will not be able to please her so you need to look elsewhere to satisfy your giving spirit, sad as that may be. If it is any consolation to you, your situation has made me more thankful for my dil. I gave her a quickly-made experimental hat for the new baby and it looks ridiculous on her - she looks like an elf in it and it keeps falling off. Still my dil has been kind enough to put the hat on baby each time I have taken them out. I am going to reinforce my thanks to her again for her thoughtfulness after hearing your story.


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## Jackie26 (Nov 9, 2011)

If you block it before she sees it, I bet it will pass the test. It's amazing the difference blocking makes. My kids love the sweater by their great grandmother made for them. She since has past and they treasure the afghans too still on their beds and they're teenagers. She made them large more like a blanket. Maybe your grandchild will be a little more appreciative then your daughter. Keep on knitting!


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## sandymac (Nov 20, 2011)

Rosenz said:


> I want to knit a cardigan for my granddaughter. The trouble is if the knitting is not perfectly even or if there is a single mistake it is rejected. I have now started and unpicked four cardigans in different wools and designs. I feel so dejected I am too scared to try again.
> 
> I just cannot get every stitch even and sometimes make a mistake which I might miss.
> 
> ...


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## Ingried (Sep 23, 2011)

tamarque said:


> The perfect gift for her is a therapist. Anyone that controlling and perfectionist is pathological and needs help. I would not make anything for her and would also tell her so and why. It sounds like your mental health is being trampled on here. Your daughter sound like the prototype for the adage "no good deed goes unpunished!"


I totally agree with you (see my response) that professional
help is warranted and if she can get it, it will enhance her Life
and everyone's around her. Just think how many hoops the
People close to her have to jump through.


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## schellwendy (Oct 2, 2011)

I feel for you! The last time I visited my son and his family I knitted something for everyone, (slippers, scarves, sweaters and hats)and received no thanks. I heard my son say "be good or gramma will knit you something (ha ha)" Other than dishcloths they will not get any more knitting from me. It really hurt. I'm no professional, but they came with love and at least a thank you would have been nice.


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## Maya'sOma (Sep 3, 2011)

When I read your post I couldn't believe what I was seeing. How could your daughter be so cruel to do this after you have put your heart into a garment for your grand child. I knit constantly for my grand daughter and have completed dozens of garments for her in her seven years and also lots of sweaters for my daughter in law too and never once has she made any derogatory remarks and although I pride myself in being an accomplished knitter I'm sure I have made mistakes and wrong stitches many times. Do as some of the other ladies have said and stop knitting for her until your daughter learns manners.


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## Ingried (Sep 23, 2011)

Jackie26 said:


> If you block it before she sees it, I bet it will pass the test. It's amazing the difference blocking makes. My kids love the sweater by their great grandmother made for them. She since has past and they treasure the afghans too still on their beds and they're teenagers. She made them large more like a blanket. Maybe your grandchild will be a little more appreciative then your daughter. Keep on knitting!


I know you mean well with blocking but I am almost sure that
it won't change anything. 
What needs blocking are some of her pathological misfirings.


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## Ingried (Sep 23, 2011)

schellwendy said:


> I feel for you! The last time I visited my son and his family I knitted something for everyone, (slippers, scarves, sweaters and hats)and received no thanks. I heard my son say "be good or gramma will knit you something (ha ha)" Other than dishcloths they will not get any more knitting from me. It really hurt. I'm no professional, but they came with love and at least a thank you would have been nice.


I am so sorry for your ill behaving Son. Write him a personal
letter and make your feelings known. That will do wonders, I
promise. Write that you put nice thoughts into everything you knit and it pains you to receive such a hurtful/loveless response.
Let him know that you will always love him but do not like his
ill manners.


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## Ingried (Sep 23, 2011)

Norma's Child said:


> Dear Rosenz, you are very generous-hearted to continue trying to please your daughter. I understand that you want to make a "love gift" for your granddaughter but I think it is time you built yourself some boundaries. You will not be able to please her so you need to look elsewhere to satisfy your giving spirit, sad as that may be. If it is any consolation to you, your situation has made me more thankful for my dil. I gave her a quickly-made experimental hat for the new baby and it looks ridiculous on her - she looks like an elf in it and it keeps falling off. Still my dil has been kind enough to put the hat on baby each time I have taken them out. I am going to reinforce my thanks to her again for her thoughtfulness after hearing your story.


Such a sweet encounter. Give you Daughter-in-Law a
hearty Hug from all of us who have encountered thankless
Folks.


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## schellwendy (Oct 2, 2011)

Thanks so much for the advice. I think I will take you up on it!


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## Shdy990 (Mar 10, 2011)

Native Americans say only the Creator is perfect. They will put an intentional mistake in not to anger him or make him think you want his place. 

Time for her to knit her own sweater. Move on to someone else. I wouldn't buy one either. She definitely is lacking in manners and thankfulness and now should learn what it gets you.


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## kneonknitter (Feb 10, 2011)

Rosenz said:


> I want to knit a cardigan for my granddaughter. The trouble is if the knitting is not perfectly even or if there is a single mistake it is rejected. I have now started and unpicked four cardigans in different wools and designs. I feel so dejected I am too scared to try again.
> 
> I just cannot get every stitch even and sometimes make a mistake which I might miss.
> 
> ...


I wouldn't even knit her a wash cloth! The beauty of hand made is that it IS hand made, warts & all.


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## 81brighteyes (Feb 17, 2011)

Tennessee.Gal said:


> How old is your granddaughter? Does she inspect every piece of knitting to look for mistakes? If this is the case, I wouldn't knit her anything.
> 
> No wonder you feel dejected. Knit something for yourself, or for someone who will love it because you made it.


Amen to that. I would never attempt for a "perfect person". Yes, spend your precious time knitting for yourself OR for someone who appreciates all the time and work that goes into a knitting project. She had better get over he attitude!


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## MrsBearstalker (Aug 11, 2011)

I'd say that only perfect people deserve perfect knitting and only perfect people can do perfect knitting so this obviously omits all of the earth's population.

Sorry, but I really don't think you should try. Knit something for someone who will be thrilled that you thought so much of them.


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## Kathleenangel (Dec 27, 2011)

I agree with everyone else here and all their input. I have been making my DIL and GD a hat and scarf or fingerless gloves or whatever every year for Xmas and never got a thank you or even pictures of them wearing them. I have made my GD 2 afgans, one this year and never a thank you or anything. Finally asked my DIL if it was worth the effort and she said it was nice to get homemade things every year but would still be nice to hear it and to see pictures of what was done. Told my youngest son I was making his girlfriend an afgan and he was excited about it. Remember many years ago for the bicentenial my mother made myself and my SIL a red,white, and blue granny square lapghan. Mine is still on my couch. I can still hear the hurt in her voice when she said my SIL was using hers as a dog bed. My mother is now gone and that afghan means the world to me. Just take those baby patterns and make things for babies and mothers who have very little and will love anything made specially for them and their babies. It does hurt but don't let her get to you.


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## M2SMRTFORU (Oct 28, 2011)

I wouldn't have tried to please her after the first time. Ungrateful personified. There are many many people who would be thrilled to have you knit for them. Save your time and rejection by not doing anything for her. I have greats and great grands. Some appreciative and some not. Guess which ones get my things. Smile please don't frown and feel sad.


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## dunottargirl (Oct 29, 2011)

I have a friend like that. When teaching her daughter to knit, the poor girl had to pull out and start again and again.. I would not knit for he again.


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## Ginny K (Jun 1, 2011)

I agree with Aggie May


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## knitter2 (Feb 19, 2012)

Hand knitting is made by humans and humans are not perfect.I belong to a prayer knitting ministry and all of us really enjoy what we do. My shawls are never perfect and I do try to do the best I can. I tell someone that is my trade mark, that way there is not another like it anywhere. I'm sure your Granddaughter would love what you do for her. The gift is for her not her Mother. Tell your daughter you love her but the gift is not for her.Grandchildren are very special to all of us Grandparents.


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## seamer45 (Jan 18, 2011)

Absolutely never make anything for her again and don't feel as though you're the problem, you aren't of course. I have one like that, and I don't make things for her. I have realized she is obsessive-compulsive, her problem not mine. 
My other two daughters and their families love my gifts. After all, everyone knits with a different hand and whatever glitches there are make it one of a kind. With all my items I make a spot, say in the ribbing of a sweater that is wrong. It's my signature. 
I recently had my below hip length hair cut after many years. I donated 25 inches to Locks of Love. When I would knit, I always ended up with a few strands of hair knitted or crocheted into the item. My family (including sons-in-law) thought that was pretty neat, a part of Ma in the garment.


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## Idaho (Jul 28, 2011)

One more thought after reading everyone's replies. Actually, a couple of more thoughts. First, I am so proud to be part of this group. KP is helpfulness and encouragement personified. Second, if you want your gifts appreciated, you only need look as far as your local hospital. Preemies need soft, warm knitted wraps, caps, and booties and their parents will be truly grateful you cared enough about their child to give your time and your love. I guarantee you that no one will criticize your work or look for errors.


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## mothermartha (Mar 1, 2011)

why set yourself up for such pain. for some reason appearance is more important than love. I hope as she gets older, and her child gets older, she won't be that hard on her. I just saw this on an email I recevied: "The next time that you think you're perfect, try walking on water!!!"
Perhaps you should knit a pillow with that quote and give it to your daughter.


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## Laura R (Apr 14, 2011)

Am I the only one who thinks the daughter should receive all 20 pages of this thread?

She needs to hear every we've said.


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## Laura R (Apr 14, 2011)

Am I the only one who thinks the daughter should receive all 20 pages of this thread?

She needs to hear every we've said.


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## User5935 (Feb 9, 2011)

I'm sorry, but as a 30 yr old mother of 3 young children, and a 2 yr old knitter, if your own daughter cannot appreciate the things that you make for her child, who will probably move too quickly for anyone to notice a minor mistake, and who probably doesnt know many if any other knitters who could pick up on a mistake even if the item were still, cannot be greatful for the time, effort, and LOVE that you put into items you creat, then she doesnt deserve them. I don't know how many items I have puchased brand new, store bought and still found unever seams, poorly aligned patterns, UNEVEN STITCHES IN KNITS. It is so hard to get perfection. And feeling like it has to be perfect to be good enough takes the joy out of the creation. Your daughter may feel it doesn't bother her, but you may have to put your foot down and be firm and say look, its nearly impossible to be perfect if possible at all, and the fact that you are willing to accept my GIFTS only to knit-pick every stitch (no pun intended) and send it back therefore saying my time, efforts and love are not up to snuff means your stnadards are simply too high and you will no longer knit for her. Then wait a few year and knit your Granddaughter something when she is only enough to thumb her nose at mom and use it anyway! I hope she never totally disrespects your daughter, but your daughter may need such a kick in the pants. What she is doing isn't very respectful at ALL! return a store item that isn't purfect- since- no ones feelings can be hurt, but at the VERY least use it when the person who made it is there, or take some pitures when it is used to send, but it doesnt have to be a favorite item. Has she kept ANYTHING you have made?
Sorry to rant, but I would have ZERO tolerance for such behavior... and cannot believe a daughter is treating her mother this way, even if every other interaction is roses and sunshine...


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## User5935 (Feb 9, 2011)

Also- keeping in mind that for you you are probably longing to make something for you grandchild, I agree, the moss or garter and a very busy yarn. And when she is older you can make her things that can go straight from you to her to her closet!


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## KnittingBadgerBabe (Mar 7, 2011)

You know, there are places where your knitting efforts will be appreciated. If you want to knit sweaters and baby/children's clothing, I'll bet the local homeless shelter would love your work. I have family and friends who line up for my work -- with all of its imperfections (including my hair and hair from my husband's Seeing Eye dog knit into each and every project). I feel sorry for your daughter. If she wants perfection, she needs to offer perfection in return. Shift your efforts to folks who will appreciate it for what it is -- one-of-a-kind folk art made with love.


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## Rosenz (Mar 7, 2012)

mothermartha said:


> why set yourself up for such pain. for some reason appearance is more important than love. I hope as she gets older, and her child gets older, she won't be that hard on her. I just saw this on an email I recevied: "The next time that you think you're perfect, try walking on water!!!"
> Perhaps you should knit a pillow with that quote and give it to your daughter.


l

Well said mothermartha. I am going to say that to her next time I talk on skype. My other daughter who lives in a cold climate is so appreciative of my knitting and my granddaughter loves it.

I did say to my daughter that the garment isn't for her.

Thanks for your encouragement everyone, but I still feel sad, mainly because I have never met my granddaughter as she lives on the other side of the world.


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## Rosenz (Mar 7, 2012)

Jackie26 said:


> If you block it before she sees it, I bet it will pass the test. It's amazing the difference blocking makes. My kids love the sweater by their great grandmother made for them. She since has past and they treasure the afghans too still on their beds and they're teenagers. She made them large more like a blanket. Maybe your grandchild will be a little more appreciative then your daughter. Keep on knitting!


Yes, that is something I have never done, is blocking. I will try that.
Sometimes I split the wool when I knit and it is the knit purl stitch that is slightly uneven. I am a thrower knitter and have knitted like that since I was 12 so am hardly likely to change.

I am going to be selfish and knit something for myself which I haven't done for years.

Rosenz


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## Rosenz (Mar 7, 2012)

knittingbee said:


> Is your grandaughter 15? As the mother of 4 girls and grandmother of 2 girls, I warn you that 15 year old girls are VERY picky and not to be knitted for. LOL Seriously, I think you should skip the work for someone that causes you dejection and bad feelings and knit yourself something you will enjoy.


My granddaughter is 15 months.

She lives on the other side of the world and I have never met her in person. I can't fly for 24 hours as last time I got a clot on the lung as the whole trip took me 36 hours in total. I can't do that again, so need to wait for my daughter to come to NZ.

Rosenz


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## Ann DeGray (May 11, 2011)

I think somewhere in this thread you wrote that your daughter had said you could knit a washcloth she could use to wash you GD's face. Are you sure she intended to use it on her FACE?


GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR


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## Rosenz (Mar 7, 2012)

Knitry said:


> Oh, SO many good ideas. I liked the doll idea and even more the "would you like to pick something from these I've made for others?" idea.
> 
> But you know what, wjatever idea you might chose, have you also thought of having a discussion with her? (I'm getting ready to have a similar small discussion with my son when he stops this evening, tho not about knitting.)
> 
> ...


I have offered to knit my granddaughter a doll but was told she didn't need one as daughter had just bought her one. It would be OK to show her a doll over skype.

Tosenz


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## KarenJo (Feb 24, 2011)

Rosenz said:


> Jackie26 said:
> 
> 
> > If you block it before she sees it, I bet it will pass the test.
> ...


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## PaKnitter (Mar 7, 2011)

There's more going on here than knitting for your grand daughter. So sad...

I would just stop trying to please your daughter and find someone who will appreciate your time and talents more.

There are many charities who need help.


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## PauletteB. (Feb 7, 2012)

It looks like all the best suggestions have been given. Knit only for those who will appreciate it.


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## alpajem (Apr 8, 2011)

ecando said:


> that sounds like my daughter in law. when ever I make something she takes it, says thanks but never wears it, if I ask her if she wore it then she'll say, no it not my style or no its not my color. so...I stopped make things for her and the kids. when she sees me knitting, she'll ask who's that for and I tell her I don't know yet or I'll say someone who appreciates my handy work and asked me to make it.


I am so vey lucky with my DIL. I crocheted her a single bed size blanket when she and son were first married. She used it often when watching TV and when the grandson was born, she put it in his cot and now he is bigger she has told him that Nana made it with love. I am also knitting a blanket for him and she keeps telling him not to be so impatient as Nana has to finish knitting it before he can use it. LOL.

Sigh, unfortunately there are some very unhappy people in this world and it seems that they have to try to make everyone around them unhappy as well. Lots of crafty hugs Essie from Oz


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## MaryA (Jan 26, 2011)

missvix61 said:


> Oh good lord! If she wants a robot made sweater tell her to go to the store. If you're bound and determined to make a sweater for the ingrate I'd also use the moss stitch and a variagated yarn. That camoflages a lot.


I'd also use a dark color . So sad that daughter can't appreciate a gift from the heart.....


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## JaneLB (Mar 5, 2012)

I feel for you! My daughter-in-law wont wear things I make on my granddaughter either! My granddaughter is going on 9 and isn't to wear dresses because some boy might look up under it how ever she wears 2pc swim suits and she wants her to be a cheer leader. Doesn't make sense to me! However I have made and given a lot of gifts that have been appreciated. One was to a doctors wife who was so moved that I made the baby a sweater, booties, hat and blanket saying she never had anyone hand make something especially for her. I feel your pain but don't give up knitting!  There are so many beautiful patterns to try and people that will be thrilled!


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## Friederike (Aug 26, 2011)

I have offered to knit my granddaughter a doll but was told she didn't need one as daughter had just bought her one. It would be OK to show her a doll over skype.


Honestly, reading this last statement I feel strongly that there is more going on with your daughter then what initially meets the "eye". Enough said.


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## Rosenz (Mar 7, 2012)

shaney63 said:


> I hate to say it, but I have a feeling it has nothing at all to do with your knitting skills whether perfect or full of errors. Some people simply do not like handmade anything!
> 
> I have a dear friend and colleague who is in the same boat. Her knitting is flawless, and I do mean FLAWLESS. She has knitted her granddaughter some of the most darling cardies and other items, but do you think her daughter-in-law can get over her picky preferences to appreciate it? Nope. Little granddaughter gets to wear the beautiful knitted items when she comes to visit grandma and that's about it. Whatever she sends home with granddaughter goes into a closet or drawer to be forgotten and replaced with a designer brand.
> 
> ...


My other daughter is fine. When my grandson was 4 I knitted him to lovely fairililse and cable jerseys. She has alot of stuff in storage and I was going through it and he only items of clothing she had kept were these two jerseys. They were matted up and missing a button, but were kept so this is the daughter I will knit for.

Rosenz


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## lomarangely (Mar 5, 2011)

Ah, now you get to your real feelings. Missing a grandbaby is painful. I hope you get to see her soon. Can you knit things to sell to save for a ticket?


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## Siouxiq (Aug 26, 2011)

Knit something for someone who appreciates all the love and time involved. Like for yourself!!!


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## Ingried (Sep 23, 2011)

Rosenz said:


> knittingbee said:
> 
> 
> > Is your grandaughter 15? As the mother of 4 girls and grandmother of 2 girls, I warn you that 15 year old girls are VERY picky and not to be knitted for. LOL Seriously, I think you should skip the work for someone that causes you dejection and bad feelings and knit yourself something you will enjoy.
> ...


As to the length of the trip, I understand that quite well. Done it and when travelling such distances again, it will be done in
steps and not in one stretch. You may check into making a vacation out of the voyage getting there.
Thanks for modern technology. At least you can see each other long distance. 
Be happy about the joy others in your Family bring you and
do not fret about her. She has real problems.
Just think how much support you are getting here. Your
Daughter would never get such positive responses anywhere. 
I bid you a good Life.
Ingried


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## lomarangely (Mar 5, 2011)

I like Ingried's response. Be happy about the joy you find, and don't waste time knitting when it is not appreciated. your projects could bring joy to someone else who, like you, is having trouble finding it.


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## YorkieMama (Mar 6, 2012)

Rosenz said:


> .................She lives on the other side of the world and I have never met her in person. I can't fly for 24 hours as last time I got a clot on the lung as the whole trip took me 36 hours in total. I can't do that again, so need to wait for my daughter to come to NZ. Rosenz


I know how difficult it is to have your grandchildren on the other side of the world. My grandchildren live just outside of Melbourne, Australia and I live in western Canada. I am terrified of flying! Plus the expense of the tickets. I want to go to visit them, but don't know how I would manage all the plane changes and lack of sleep for the duration of the trip. 
I had to take a short 45 minute flight 7 years ago...........the flight attendant had to pry my hands off the arm rests when we reached our destination because I could not release them on my own. I was nonfunctional for 2 days afterward. Pathetic, I know.


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## grandmadawn (Sep 4, 2011)

Why isn't your dughter knitting for her own child?!
Knit for charity, where your hand knit efforts will be appreciated.


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## djones5252 (May 6, 2011)

That is sad, indeed. Sad that your sweet GD won't know the joy of a special sweater knitted by her grandmother. Does your daughter - her mom - also pick through and inspect every stitch on a store bought item? I doubt they are perfect, either. :-(



Rosenz said:


> My granddaughter is 15 months old and I have bought some wonderful patterns.
> 
> Yes my daughter does study every stitch.
> 
> Rosenz


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## Rosenz (Mar 7, 2012)

MargaretEllen said:


> Sorry to make this my first posting not about knitting. But could it be more of a psycological problem going on. New baby, too much time on her hands and looking for perfection. May be OCD, or something. It,s just a thought.


Yes, I have wondered that myself when she "has a go at me over the phone over something completely trivial. I let it go in one ear and out the other and she noticed that and same "Mum you don't isten to anything I say?" I said NO.

She does apologise sometimes for be a bitch.


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## RachelL (Dec 18, 2011)

Rosenz said:


> I want to knit a cardigan for my granddaughter. The trouble is if the knitting is not perfectly even or if there is a single mistake it is rejected. I have now started and unpicked four cardigans in different wools and designs. I feel so dejected I am too scared to try again.
> 
> I just cannot get every stitch even and sometimes make a mistake which I might miss.
> 
> ...


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## RachelL (Dec 18, 2011)

RachelL said:


> Rosenz said:
> 
> 
> > I want to knit a cardigan for my granddaughter. The trouble is if the knitting is not perfectly even or if there is a single mistake it is rejected. I have now started and unpicked four cardigans in different wools and designs. I feel so dejected I am too scared to try again.
> ...


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## peggyferrell (Oct 5, 2011)

why do you want to knit this ungrateful child anything?? You know she won't wear it or appreciate it, why bother.


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## teddy3656 (Nov 20, 2011)

Please don't waste your time. It is not worth the hurt or anger. It's abvious that the grand daughter is too critical and not grateful. Time is precious,not to be wasted on frivolity. Once lost never to be gotten back.Knit for your local shelter. Do you have something like that in New Zealand? Let me tell you it will be appreciated and no one will be checking stitches. They will love your gifts.You can make blankets for the local hospital or baby caps. I have become very selective in what I knit and who I give it to. Life is to short. I don't knit sweaters anymore. Easier to purchase one and no time wasted and less money spent. You can always return it if the giftee does not like it. Then again you can always make that sweater for yourself.


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## CamillaDesertMouse (Mar 19, 2011)

Geez...what a request...I WANT my work to be perfection..but that is just me...
I would simply ...with a smile...remind her ..there is ONLY ONE perfect being...Perhaps you should ask God???
I would just not cave in to that type of pressure...
Sorry you are going through this...
Also...remind her ..there are children with nothing and you are sure they would really appreciate any effort!!!


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## newquay (Apr 26, 2011)

Just tell your daughter that you always knit this way-with a deliberate mistake-because only God is perfect.
Or...you could do Swiss darning over the looser looking stitches and it will make it look too beautiful for words.


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## kiwi11 (Jul 27, 2011)

Rosenz said:


> I want to knit a cardigan for my granddaughter. The trouble is if the knitting is not perfectly even or if there is a single mistake it is rejected. I have now started and unpicked four cardigans in different wools and designs. I feel so dejected I am too scared to try again.
> 
> I just cannot get every stitch even and sometimes make a mistake which I might miss.
> 
> ...


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## gmcmullen (Dec 29, 2011)

I would not knit for your daughter if she is that picky. Is seems that she is far too critical and may unnecessarily hurt your feelings. We are all human and we all make mistakes. She needs to learn to be grateful that your such a kind and giving grandma and want to make something from the heart for your grandchild. 

Sorry, I am not trying to be harsh. I just think it is too stressful to have to be perfect or fear rejection. I wouldn't put myself up to that type of scrutiny. I would never pass.

Best wishes.


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## irishgrandma (Apr 23, 2012)

Don't bother. I know you love your granddaughter but find another way to show your love. A person puts too much of themselves into their knitting. Constant rejection is too spirit numbing to allow it to continue.


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## fabi (Mar 30, 2012)

how sad, does not the gift of giving occur to her... truly her loss, I have items my grandmother knitted me, with age there came errors from her eyesight, but she kept on and her last item was knitted 2 days before she passed, I am truly blessed and still treasure that item. knit for someone that appreciates it, I find this very selfish sorry


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## Martha French (Aug 1, 2011)

Rosenz said:


> I want to knit a cardigan for my granddaughter. The trouble is if the knitting is not perfectly even or if there is a single mistake it is rejected. I have now started and unpicked four cardigans in different wools and designs. I feel so dejected I am too scared to try again.
> 
> I just cannot get every stitch even and sometimes make a mistake which I might miss.
> 
> ...


Please remember the first rule, the golden rule. 'Only Allah is perfect.' Craftsmen building a mosque will introduce a deliberate error or mistake into their patterns of mosaics in order to obey this principle. When people point to an error I always remind them that only Allah is perfect.


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## 4pins (Jan 4, 2012)

I'm sure you love your daughter dearly, but please, don't pander to her wishes in this.

If she needs it perfect, she should knit it herself without mistakes and a even tension (in her dreams!).

My first knitting from a pattern was an Aran jacket for my mum and she unravelled it and made me a jumper and then wondered why I didn't wear it!!! Gifts are given with love, if something is being paid for - that's different, they MAYBE can 'complain'.

Knit yourself something and give it to you with love. xx

4pins


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## lomarangely (Mar 5, 2011)

Flying is safer than driving by far. If you break your trip up into smaller trips, it can be quite a vacation. Fly to the coast, spend a couple of days resting, then continue on. If you can afford this, it makes for a nice vacation.


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## Britty43 (Jan 8, 2012)

Yorkiemama.... There are meds you can take that relax you. I can sympathize as I used to be like that going to England but when it's the only way you can visit your family you have to deal with it. Once you've done it a few times you get over it


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## Martha French (Aug 1, 2011)

rilady said:


> Does your daughter have a compulsion with perfection... I cannot imagine going through an item for a 15 mos old to try to find imperfections.. quote]
> 
> I think this is the answer, your daughter's compulsion with perfection.
> 
> ...


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## Dlclose (Jun 26, 2011)

sweetsue said:


> My goodness. Is she a knitter too? For her to be able to pick up any errors?
> I have a daughter who wants a sweater too but I know that if I make it - it will be the wrong colour or the wrong cable or something - so, I won't make one at all.
> Probably a moss stitch is one of the most forgiving stitches that I am aware of.


I agree, the moss stitch!


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## Dlclose (Jun 26, 2011)

Rosenz said:


> My granddaughter is 15 months old and I have bought some wonderful patterns.
> 
> Yes my daughter does study every stitch.
> 
> Rosenz


My daughter is similar. She feels that handmade is a symbol of being poor so she doesn't want to put anything handmade on her daughter (my 7 month old granddaughter). how do I overcome that?


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## Dlclose (Jun 26, 2011)

Magenta said:


> Rosenz said:
> 
> 
> > I want to knit a cardigan for my granddaughter. The trouble is if the knitting is not perfectly even or if there is a single mistake it is rejected. I have now started and unpicked four cardigans in different wools and designs. I feel so dejected I am too scared to try again.
> ...


No wonder, it's gorgeous!


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## Dlclose (Jun 26, 2011)

BOY! This post has really hit a nerve hasn't it? Since we all love to knit we just can't imagine anyone who wouldn't appreciate our projects! But, we all know some people like this!


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## johannecw (Oct 25, 2011)

My heart breaks for all of you grandmothers who live so far away from their grandchildren. I am so blessed that our 11 (plus one bun in the oven) grandchildren all live within a half hour away. I know it's not the same, but perhaps you could become a "foster grandma" for a child whose grandparents aren't in the picture. Hugs to all of you!


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## Donnabellah (Jul 12, 2011)

Here's my take on this . . . knitting is how you are spending your time -- time is life -- life should be enjoyable -- so if you find that your work is not appreciated or valued you need to find a new avenue for your efforts. There are so many charity websites begging for knitted items and nursing homes that would so appreciate lap afghans, etc. I do not knit for anyone who does not appreciate my efforts. I send stuff out to people and places I will never see and feel very good about it. I knit for relaxation and fun. Love to see my projects - take a photo and off they go. Stop banging your head on a brick wall!!


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## Bulkarn (Dec 9, 2011)

You can't please a perfectionist. Don't try. It has nothing to do with knitting and everything to do with neurosis and probably her own deep insecurities. Somehow she probably thinks a mistake says something negative about her. Is she this way about other things? Love her but don't knit for her.you would just be appeasing the neurosis.



Rosenz said:


> I want to knit a cardigan for my granddaughter. The trouble is if the knitting is not perfectly even or if there is a single mistake it is rejected. I have now started and unpicked four cardigans in different wools and designs. I feel so dejected I am too scared to try again.
> 
> I just cannot get every stitch even and sometimes make a mistake which I might miss.
> 
> ...


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## JillF (Feb 17, 2011)

Dlclose said:


> Rosenz said:
> 
> 
> > My granddaughter is 15 months old and I have bought some wonderful patterns.
> ...


If that's the only problem, open an etsy account and show her how much people pay for your handmade knitted items

Also if she won't even accept a doll from you, then this is just resentment of you personally. Sorry.


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## RavinRed (Apr 18, 2011)

Rosenz said:


> I want to knit a cardigan for my granddaughter. The trouble is if the knitting is not perfectly even or if there is a single mistake it is rejected. I have now started and unpicked four cardigans in different wools and designs. I feel so dejected I am too scared to try again.
> 
> I just cannot get every stitch even and sometimes make a mistake which I might miss.
> 
> ...


My that is quite anal. I guess I would no longer make things for her.


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## slaurance (Feb 14, 2011)

Rosenz said:


> I want to knit a cardigan for my granddaughter. The trouble is if the knitting is not perfectly even or if there is a single mistake it is rejected. I have now started and unpicked four cardigans in different wools and designs. I feel so dejected I am too scared to try again.
> 
> I just cannot get every stitch even and sometimes make a mistake which I might miss.
> 
> ...


Such a dilema. I understand your feeling of dejection here. When I was very young we wore a lot a home made clothes because a that time fabric wasn't terribly expensive. My parents did the best they could. I am ashamed to say that there were times when I was not appreciative of this. It hurt my mom, though she never said anything. Needless to say, my heart is hurting for you. My mom passed away a few years ago and I miss her so much. She taught me to sew, knit, crochet, cook, garden, and a bunch of other things. She and Dad also worked hard to make sure we had proper manners, and that we knew how much we were loved. I spoke about all this to a dear friend after Mom's funeral, and she told me to always know that a handmade project is ever completed without one very important ingredient......Love. She also told me that when the Amish make quilts there is always an imperfection. This is because they believe that the only perfection is God. So, your daughter may not appreciate your work.......but God does. I make gifts for my granddaughter now, and there are always goofs....but she doesn't care......
Wishing the best for you......


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## LindaH (Feb 1, 2011)

I have to agree with everyone else. You put a LOT of work into any garment that you would give your grandchild, and for the daughter to critique it as if she has the right to do that is just LUDICROUS. I don't even know if I would buy her anything commercial or not. I would probably get a gift card somewhere and give that to her instead of trying to pick anything out with any amount of love involved.. If she asked why the gift card, simply tell her that you tried to make your grandchild something, she rejected it. You tried to buy her something commercially, she returned it.. So, if you get a gift card, it is unfeeling enough that she can't reject it and will have to find something that is so perfect, but tell her to be sure to check the garment for picks or tiny unseen holes in the underarm area, LOL.. Tell her to look really hard because more than likely when you wash it the 1st time, the holes will appear.. They always do in cheaply made garments that are made without the first ounce of love. Grrrrrrrrrrr... I SO dislike people who stand in judgment of other people as if they are God and have the right to. It just isn't right, and it hurts very much! Please don't let her be the reason that you don't make things for your grandbabies. Even if you have to stock pile them until they are older.. Make them in sizes way too big for them now, and then work on your daughter's perfectionism until she realizes that it is wrong.

My mother is the same way that your daughter is. I made her a cross stitch set of pictures when I was around 16 or 17.. I am now 48, and she never hung the 2 pictures because she saw the pattern book that the 2 projects came from, and she decided that she wouldn't hang them until I made her the big one to go with them. Both of the smaller pictures were made for one's bathroom or study. I will post the pictures as an addition to this post. My puppy managed to eat the center out of the pattern book, and I could not figure out how to make the center of the big one for a complete trio. She put the 2 completed pictures in a tube and told me that she would hang them once I got the 3rd picture made. WTF???!!!!

http://crochet4you1.tripod.com/leisure_arts_658.htm

I was freaking 16 or 17! REALLY, Mom? Even now, she thinks she is right about this. I mentioned it to her a few months back, and she didn't even realize that I took the pictures back to hang in my own bathroom. She never took them out of the tube.. Never attempted to frame them..

Now, she moans about my not making her another cross stitch picture where a guardian angel is watching over 2 children crossing a really old bridge. She always used to tell us that the angel was watching over us, which sounds nice in theory.. all warm and fuzzy..It meant a lot to me and my brother when we were small. However, once she found out that there were 2 or more pictures in this particular series, she started in with the "the set has to be complete" crap.. The patterns are still undone in my trunk. I have the thread, the patterns, the fabric, etc..but I don't have any desire to make something for her that she will just put in a tube until it is "perfect," as IF she knew it was perfect or not.

My point is that it shouldn't be up to your daughter to stand in judgment of your work. I guess if she was an expert knitter or someone really talented with sticks and yarn, she would probably be able to see if a mistake was made.. but if she did that then she should also have the decency to not make you feel badly because you made such a mistake or a perceived mistake. That is just wrong. Sorry for the diatribe. This is just one of those things that lights me up like few others will.


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## sillysylvia (Aug 8, 2011)

Wow what an ungrateful daughter you have, I have a aunt who is 99 yrs old still making dishclothes and even though they may not be perfect I will treasure these always,I would stop wasting my time and money on her,and give to those who appreciate it,


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## nannyberfa (Oct 9, 2011)

Rosenz, my family loves my "Homemade Mistakes". Maybe if you live close enough, that you could relax and make the sweater for your house. Or you could tell the family member that you are doing your best and there is only one Perfect Being!


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## GoodWitchGlinda (Apr 20, 2011)

Hmm, where did your daughter pick up this behavior?

I'm sorry, I guess I would have to give my child a bit of a telling off if that were his/her reaction to something I do.

My boys know I'm not perfect; but when I make something, they see me working on it and know I'm doing it cause I like to and because I love them.

I may seem a bit snarky here, but I think your daughter has a bit of a materialistic attitude. I agree with the others, make things for other people that make you happy.

Oh and one other thing, when the Amish make quilts there is always a mistake somewhere - they believe that only God can "make" perfection. I use that belief when I craft, if I make a mistake, I just keep going.


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## morgansam51 (Apr 4, 2012)

If she can't appreciate your work then she doesn't deserve it! I have grandchildren and there are some I will make things for and some I won't - not because I love any one of them more than the other but some just don't appreciate the work. In some cases buying something makes more sense - and then you won't feel so bad!


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## JoyceinNC (Oct 28, 2011)

My daughter was this way during her teen years, and then when she had children, she didn't want me to sew for them unless I could EXACTLY duplicate what she picked out in the stores. It's now many years later, and I think she was trying to discourage me from sewing for her and her kids, but didn't have the courage or decency to just say no thanks.


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## Ingried (Sep 23, 2011)

LindaH said:


> I have to agree with everyone else. You put a LOT of work into any garment that you would give your grandchild, and for the daughter to critique it as if she has the right to do that is just LUDICROUS. I don't even know if I would buy her anything commercial or not. I would probably get a gift card somewhere and give that to her instead of trying to pick anything out with any amount of love involved.. If she asked why the gift card, simply tell her that you tried to make your grandchild something, she rejected it. You tried to buy her something commercially, she returned it.. So, if you get a gift card, it is unfeeling enough that she can't reject it and will have to find something that is so perfect, but tell her to be sure to check the garment for picks or tiny unseen holes in the underarm area, LOL.. Tell her to look really hard because more than likely when you wash it the 1st time, the holes will appear.. They always do in cheaply made garments that are made without the first ounce of love. Grrrrrrrrrrr... I SO dislike people who stand in judgment of other people as if they are God and have the right to. It just isn't right, and it hurts very much! Please don't let her be the reason that you don't make things for your grandbabies. Even if you have to stock pile them until they are older.. Make them in sizes way too big for them now, and then work on your daughter's perfectionism until she realizes that it is wrong.
> 
> My mother is the same way that your daughter is. I made her a cross stitch set of pictures when I was around 16 or 17.. I am now 48, and she never hung the 2 pictures because she saw the pattern book that the 2 projects came from, and she decided that she wouldn't hang them until I made her the big one to go with them. Both of the smaller pictures were made for one's bathroom or study. I will post the pictures as an addition to this post. My puppy managed to eat the center out of the pattern book, and I could not figure out how to make the center of the big one for a complete trio. She put the 2 completed pictures in a tube and told me that she would hang them once I got the 3rd picture made. WTF???!!!!
> 
> ...


So sorry about the pain some People inflict on others.
As to completing the set, LET HER MAKE IT HERSELF.

I proudly say that I have NEVER looked down on anything
anyone ever has given to me. I cherish the thought alone.

The world is full of People who are grateful, turn away from the ones who are not. 
I have made it very clear that since Life is short and I have no time to waste it on People who give me ANY grief, they are elmininated quickly.


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## nannyberfa (Oct 9, 2011)

Tell the daughter to appreciate! My 30 year old daughter just lost her daddy today, he was only 55 years of age. He had cancer!!! Please all still check out our team at Relay For Life! the team name is Tommy' Angels. Please check it out and help if you can. The spelling is missing an s, you have to spell it this way to find team. Thanks


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## Dlclose (Jun 26, 2011)

LindaH said:


> I have to agree with everyone else. You put a LOT of work into any garment that you would give your grandchild, and for the daughter to critique it as if she has the right to do that is just LUDICROUS. I don't even know if I would buy her anything commercial or not. I would probably get a gift card somewhere and give that to her instead of trying to pick anything out with any amount of love involved.. If she asked why the gift card, simply tell her that you tried to make your grandchild something, she rejected it. You tried to buy her something commercially, she returned it.. So, if you get a gift card, it is unfeeling enough that she can't reject it and will have to find something that is so perfect, but tell her to be sure to check the garment for picks or tiny unseen holes in the underarm area, LOL.. Tell her to look really hard because more than likely when you wash it the 1st time, the holes will appear.. They always do in cheaply made garments that are made without the first ounce of love. Grrrrrrrrrrr... I SO dislike people who stand in judgment of other people as if they are God and have the right to. It just isn't right, and it hurts very much! Please don't let her be the reason that you don't make things for your grandbabies. Even if you have to stock pile them until they are older.. Make them in sizes way too big for them now, and then work on your daughter's perfectionism until she realizes that it is wrong.
> 
> My mother is the same way that your daughter is. I made her a cross stitch set of pictures when I was around 16 or 17.. I am now 48, and she never hung the 2 pictures because she saw the pattern book that the 2 projects came from, and she decided that she wouldn't hang them until I made her the big one to go with them. Both of the smaller pictures were made for one's bathroom or study. I will post the pictures as an addition to this post. My puppy managed to eat the center out of the pattern book, and I could not figure out how to make the center of the big one for a complete trio. She put the 2 completed pictures in a tube and told me that she would hang them once I got the 3rd picture made. WTF???!!!!
> 
> ...


Those cross stitch pictures are just gorgeous!! And you did them at age 17? WOW! They are certainly worthy of framing! Your mother was wrong! Many pictures come in sets and are hung as parts beautifully. My sister has one of those three picture sets for a living room wall that looks like one big picture has been cut into three slices and each framed. Then you hang them with a little space between. Her roommate moved out and took the end piece with her. My sister repositioned the other two and they look lovely! So your mother didn't really need the other piece. She just didn't have a creative vision of how to display the ones she had been gifted.


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## nannykints (Jul 7, 2011)

I have 3 grand daugthers ..two of them are thrilled when I make them something be it knitting crocheting or sewingSo is thier mother even when I make her something....which has been many times..The pther DIL is all for store bought thingg with big lables in them ..even ask me to make her a smocked white dress for a special photh and ended up buying one after I had spent all that time on it , all I got was a small picture of her in it not the big purchased picture ..made he a sweater for school (had to have a certain color because of uniforms)nd could not find one to buy but she never wore it Store bought /name brand lables for them...
I don't even think about making anything for that group now ..
My answer would be to tell her to make or buy her own when the child gets old enough she might won't you to do something for her ....
Linda


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## laurfrances (Feb 4, 2011)

I agree with Aggie May that you should buy her a sweater instead. It is very likely that she does not understand the time and effort that goes into a handmade project. Offer to teach her to knit; perhaps she will gain an appreciation (and an interest). I will never forget how my grandmother(now 91) taught me how to crochet.


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## peggyferrell (Oct 5, 2011)

Maybe you could explain the difference between homemade, and custom tailored.


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## Jan L (Sep 10, 2011)

maidinkent said:


> Blocking usually evens out the stitching. I feel for you, cos my knitting isn't very even either. Garter stitch is quite forgiving, and you're less likely to make an error. Hope you feel confident enough to give it a go, so that gd will get to know the love you put into the making of her clothes.


I agree that blocking will even up those stitches. However, I'm having a problem with a grown woman criticizing her Mother and a gift made with love. That is disrespect I find intolerable.


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## crystalrose (Apr 22, 2011)

You've started FOUR TIMES? Your daughter is looking for something that does'nt exist this side of heaven- absolute perfection! If you haven't pleased her yet, you never will!


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## Ingried (Sep 23, 2011)

Makes me wonder how miserable the Husbands/Partners of these ungrateful Women are. Must be Hell to live with such
"perfect" Specimens.


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## mthrift (Jan 2, 2012)

I think there are ages that you cannot please a child, even an almost adult child. They are too aware of others opinions and insecurities, and want to belong. I think it is best not to try. I could sew and knit, but my daughter did not like handmade items for years. I did not make them for her. It was too much work to have it be "not worn". She has grown out of it, and now as a young adult, cherishes my knitted items, and asks for the ones she wants me to make. Kids grow up and grow out of their perspectives. Have faith! They always do!


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## mthrift (Jan 2, 2012)

I also think we all have our "preferences", our likes and dislikes, what makes us feel good about ourselves. We cannot control these in others. Find another way to love her that she can appreciate. We are all different. You cannot "make" someone love handmade items. They need to go to those who love and appreciate them. But, there are respectful and tactful ways of expressing the "preference" without being hurtful or rude.


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## crispie (Dec 17, 2011)

I have been thinking of you on and off all day. It truly hurts when someone does this when you have spent so much time creating something. I personally do not, and would not have tried over and over and over and over. I would have switched to something else for someone else. If they do not appreciate the time and effort you have taken, make something for someone else who will appreciate it. I guarantee that if you do, you will feel less stress and pain and at some point in the future, your daughter may ask you why you don't knit anything for...her/gd, etc. At that point, you can express the fact that she has hurt your feelings so badly. She needs to know---if only so she does not do this to someone else and learns to think about the effect of her words.


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## Hannelore (Oct 26, 2011)

How sad. Maybe you could tell your daughter to ask some-one else to knit your grand-daughter something and see if their work is any different. I don't know of anyone who is a perfect knitter. We all have some trouble with tension at some time. I know it is hard, but try not to take it to heart.


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## Needles Too (Jul 30, 2011)

I would BUY things factory made for the grandaughter until such grandaughter is old enough to say 'grandma, will you please make me "whatever" please.' And she will. As for your daughter, don't allow this. These are nothing more than pure, top of the line INSULTS. 

Since she is a mother now, her time will come, paybacks are not fun. But your grandaughter will model how her mother treats other people. And as your grandaughter grows up, she could possibly be miserable from lack of friends by copying her mother, treating people as doormats. 

I've never heard of a perfect piece of anything hand made. The imperfections are the love put into the project. You can read your personal hurt in your first post and I'm so very sorry you are treated this way.


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## Velmabunny (Apr 18, 2012)

You are right on the money with your answer regarding this daughter. My daughters-in-law and granddaughter just love anything i make them and they know that there is no such thing as perfect when hand knitting, that is what makes every item so unique. When something is hand knitted, everyone knows that it was made with lots of love. I feel sorry for this person's daughter.


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## mthrift (Jan 2, 2012)

I am an Oprah fan. Maya Angelou told Oprah: "When a person shows you how they are, believe them", the first time not the 29th time, with the repeated pain and hurt. There is payback, and her granddaughter will turn on her mother some time in the future, because I also believe in Karma. When you keep hoping they will change and be different, you set yourself up for grave disappointment. They know how they are better than you. They do not respect your work, and do not seem to respect you, as tragic as that has turned out to be. Love yourself enough not to allow it, or cast your beautiful work before them. Save yourself the worry and the pain. You cannot control others behavior, only your own. You are accepting abuse from them, and you do not deserve it.


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## EllasNanaCan (Apr 18, 2012)

Knit a toy, dolls dress, pom poms or whatever you'll enjoy for your Grand-daughter. You'll win her heart and then your daughter's attitude won't matter. At that age my grand daughter would drag out my knitting stash saying "Nana's pom poms". Your daughter's a lost cause, so now win your grand-daughter over with knitting.


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## amethystlady2 (Apr 23, 2012)

wow! I have read most of the replies here...while I am astonished by this daughter's (and another who only wanted washcloths from her mother)...ladies? Have either of you had any backbone your entire lives? 
If either of my daughters or a grandson thought they could get by with treating ME like a dog, then they would never receive another gift from me. 
I would never even think of knitting anything for either of these girls again. I WOULD get my own spine up and stop fretting that my daughter (child, even tho adult) was such a spoiled, willful, rude and arrogant creature.
I have just finished knitting something for someone, and found long after my last BO, this huge glaring mistake...soooo, I found a pattern for flowers and leaves, to knit, and there will be something to cover up my biggest goof...lol lol...there are some unintended holes too...more flowers...true, this is an easy fix...but I just spent the entire weekend tearing out something I had another unnoticed error in until it was far too late to fix...I would learn to knit those flowers and leaves and put them over the mistakes before I let my daughter treat me so shabbily!
Get tough, mom...don't let her get by with making YOU so miserable...and NO! Do NOT give her one more item to pick apart!


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## Aunt Nay (Nov 25, 2011)

Rosenz, I can't say what I want to say. I am sorry that your love and effort are not appreciated. As others have said, spread your joy and gifts where they will multiply. Make what you want for your granddaughter and let her wear it when she is with you. Bless you for wanting to do this.


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## Britty43 (Jan 8, 2012)

I think the lady mentioned that she is 3000 miles away from this grandchild so a lot of the good suggestions won't work for her


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## jayniet (Nov 24, 2011)

Hi Rosenz,

I have to agree with Sweetsue. I love my kids but I wouldn't knit for them unless they appreciated what I have made. I would also suggest you try a multicolour yarn or one with a textured effect. I find the textured ones make it hard to see any faults.


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## amethystlady2 (Apr 23, 2012)

Rose, when you say your daughter lives 'on the other side of the world', could it be she lives in a temperate or warm climate, and any knitted items are not good to wear there?

Not looking for an excuse for your daughters lack of manners, but is she physically returning every item you have made? If so, I would do as so many have suggested on here...knit for charity...

In fact, I just came up with a terrific idea for the shelter here fo physically and sexually abused chilfren...instead of buying them bears or dolls, I can knit them things for my annual donation.


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## nannyberfa (Oct 9, 2011)

amethystlady2, how about knitting/crocheting or sewing totes for the teddy bears and dolls. Ive worked with kids with these issues and teddy bears and dolls are the best secure for kids, to give them.


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## janette777 (Jun 11, 2011)

Rosenz said:


> I want to knit a cardigan for my granddaughter. The trouble is if the knitting is not perfectly even or if there is a single mistake it is rejected. I have now started and unpicked four cardigans in different wools and designs. I feel so dejected I am too scared to try again.
> 
> I just cannot get every stitch even and sometimes make a mistake which I might miss.
> 
> ...


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## PauletteB. (Feb 7, 2012)

I am truly Blessed. My family members are always asking me to knit something for them. My youngest grand children put the item right on the minute I give them anything.


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## smoqui (Mar 2, 2011)

Well, if this is your only relative you might knit for, then I would suggest you find a worthy charity and knit for others who might be more appreciative and much less "spoiled brat". Whoever taught this ingrate to reject anything not perfect has obviously doomed her to a life of disappointment. I have been told that only God never makes mistakes, but in my humble opinion he made one with your granddaughter!


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## sholen (Mar 1, 2011)

I was told years ago that you want at least one obvious mistake in your work...so the product looks handmade...not machine made!!! There is no doubt that all of my work is hand made in the USA!!! And, proud of it!


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## meadow123 (Mar 6, 2012)

knit yourself a backbone and tell your daughter your going to knit her a muzzle.ignore the nasty girl and knit for yourself.


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## jobailey (Dec 22, 2011)

i would knit something you enjoy! if she does not like it, give it to someone else who will appreciate your loving work!


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## cablenut (Oct 19, 2011)

When a loved one shows signs of being -or becoming- a perfectionist, it's a warning to be taken seriously... and perhaps a chance to help set them free from that prison.
If it's a young child noticing the mistakes, well let's just say, it's a good opportunity for the "I'm not perfect/you're not perfect -but we're just right" talk. Once my daughter understood that I was going to love her anyway, she relaxed. 
I'd be worried that she'll eventually turn that discriminating eye on herself, and undermine who she could become.
Meanwhile, back off the knitting for her, just for a while. Maybe work on things for people who will appreciate it -like charities. Do what restores your confidence, and makes you improve at the same time. Oh, and I agree a mistake (not glaring) in each work IS to be cherished -as a sign that we're not trying to compete with God, or be vain, arrogant, or prideful. Old Amish concept. Works for me. Remember on leather -imperfections are part of the natural beauty of the piece... just make sure they're in ways you like them.
Tons of opportunities here to help that dear one grow.


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## sdostman (Jun 9, 2011)

If she is that picky I would say forget it. Most people don't even notice small errors and no one is perfect. If she can pick out those small things then she doesn't appreciate your time and effort to make something filled with love.


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## daralene (Feb 27, 2012)

I wouldn't knit for someone like that. That is awful though because in this situation it is for your granddaughter. I would enjoy buying something for her even though it is not the same. So sad and sorry you are having to feel like this.


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## crjc (Jun 17, 2011)

Rosenz said:


> I want to knit a cardigan for my granddaughter. The trouble is if the knitting is not perfectly even or if there is a single mistake it is rejected. I have now started and unpicked four cardigans in different wools and designs. I feel so dejected I am too scared to try again.
> 
> I just cannot get every stitch even and sometimes make a mistake which I might miss.
> 
> ...


Tell you GD that if she cannot be grateful for your efforts of love, she should do it herself. This really get my gall. GRRR!


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## Britty43 (Jan 8, 2012)

People ... It's the DAUGHTER who is ungrateful


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## Dlclose (Jun 26, 2011)

janette777 said:


> Rosenz said:
> 
> 
> > I want to knit a cardigan for my granddaughter. The trouble is if the knitting is not perfectly even or if there is a single mistake it is rejected. I have now started and unpicked four cardigans in different wools and designs. I feel so dejected I am too scared to try again.
> ...


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## nanma esther (Aug 22, 2011)

thats a great sweater. stich pattern should cover any mistakes


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## ksojerio (Aug 2, 2011)

meadow123 said:


> knit yourself a backbone and tell your daughter your going to knit her a muzzle.ignore the nasty girl and knit for yourself.


Find someone else that appreciates your knitting and buy her a sweater!


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## pb54116 (Jun 27, 2011)

missvix61 said:


> Oh good lord! If she wants a robot made sweater tell her to go to the store. If you're bound and determined to make a sweater for the ingrate I'd also use the moss stitch and a variagated yarn. That camoflages a lot.


missvix61, I love the knitted cupcake in your avatar photo. Do you have the pattern for it or direct me to a site where I can find it? Phyllis


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## barcar (Jun 16, 2011)

Order a gift on line and have it delivered. Only knit for enjoyment and for those who appreciate it!


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## Margie1802 (Apr 22, 2012)

I'm with KarenJo! Knit a Doll or an outfit for a doll she already has. If you are up to the task, a knitted stuffed toy would also be nice. Hopefully, your daughter won't do the picky thing for something that isn't wearable. If she does, make them and keep them at your house for her to play with when she visits. (By the way, I think your daughter has some serious control issues and there is nothing you can do about it .


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## mothermartha (Mar 1, 2011)

I bet your mom has no idea of the skill needed for these pics and I wouldn't do anymore either. I gave my late MIL 2 crewl pics many long years ago not realizing I scorched one with an iron. She hung them; not necessarily in thje living room but where they could be seen.
a warm loving woman who is missed.


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## wilbo (Feb 16, 2011)

Use fun fur or eyelash. You can't see the stitches.


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## goodweh (Dec 4, 2011)

I would enclose a note such as this:
To my dear daughter: I am giving you this sweater that I have made for you (or granddaughter), I took the utmost care in choosing the pattern , colors and yarn. I chose based on what I felt would show off your beautiful features. It was knit with love and thoughfulness. I did my very best, and took careful care in making it. While it may not be perfect, I take great pride in knowing that in my eyes the person it was made for is perfect to me! I am sure your/granddaughters beauty will overshadow any small error I have made in making the sweater and no one will even notice. I hope you wear it with as much pride in me , as I will have in seeing you wear something I made for you from my heart. Thankyou for just being you! 
If this doesn't work I would give up.


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## hersh (Nov 7, 2011)

I am of the opinion that daughter has a problem and the problem should not be fed or catered to. Your grand daughter will likely pick up on her mother's behaviour......who's to say if it will stay with her for life..I would suggest that you.avoid conflict for your own sanity and well being, Stay nuetral when it comes to gifts if you must send gifts...ie a card celebrating the occasion.Perhaps start an education fund no matter how small for your grand daughter that cannot be touched until she graduates from high school. With the stipulation that your daughter does not have access to these funds.I cannot believe this topic is still going on. Be healthy and celebrate YOUR life.


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