# Has this ever happened to you?



## knitting_mama (Jan 30, 2011)

I went to a baby shower last week, 7th of April. Prior to going my sister-in-law asked me to make a baby outfit, booties an a blanket to fit a bassinet for a baby boy . I got them done the day of the event. She took it into the place where it was, showed it to the expectant parents, then, said, "just accept this an when you get home trash it." She wadded it up an threw it in what looked like a bag for the plastic dinnerware that had been used. I know she said an did this as I was standing 6 ft. away from her. I felt miserable the rest of the event, no one saw it!! I stayed for the two hours then, called my husband to come get me. It never really hit home till the next day an I cried my eyes out cause I take great pride in making things for newborns. I haven't spoken to her since.....my husband's on his own cause it's his sister! I refuse to do ANYTHING FOR HER!


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## janayoga (Jul 13, 2011)

How mean spirited! I don't understand because she had requested the outfit. I find it necessary to be very careful about giving hand made gifts to others, because they probably won't understand the effort that went in to it, and because tastes differ so much from person to person. When in doubt I say "No."

I feel for you.


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## BrattyPatty (May 2, 2011)

What an incredibley rude thing to do! This "woman' needs a lesson in etiquette, let alone a kick in the arse. I am sorry you went through all that work and got treated like this.


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## Nanny Mon (May 24, 2011)

Northwoods Gal said:


> What an incredibley rude thing to do! This "woman' needs a lesson in etiquette, let alone a kick in the arse. I am sorry you went through all that work and got treated like this.


Ditto !!!!!!

Knitting Mama, if your knitting was half as good as that shawl in your avatar, I can only say it was a great shame you wasted your time knitting at your SIL request.

I feel it was jealously on her part for your beautiful knitting, as you said you were only a few feet away, so she knew you would hear.


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## martyr (Feb 15, 2011)

Nanny Mon said:


> Northwoods Gal said:
> 
> 
> > What an incredibley rude thing to do! This "woman' needs a lesson in etiquette, let alone a kick in the arse. I am sorry you went through all that work and got treated like this.
> ...


Three times the charm. What an attitude. Maybe she's jealous of your talent? What if anything did the recipient say? If you get a chance I'd speak up and ask her. She may like the gift.


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## Jessica-Jean (Mar 14, 2011)

The nerve! Unbelievable! Unspeakable behaviour!


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## njbk55 (Apr 29, 2011)

So very rude and inconsiderate of her. As for your other half he dose need to something to his sister. I had a disparagement with my his sister. He was hesitant to support my side. His comment was she is family. What am I? I shot back at him. He did say something to her a few days later. She wasn't happy about it but it did clear the air. Thank goodness she does like what I make for her. She knows the time and effort that I put into my projects.


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## usafwife (Feb 16, 2012)

I would have my husband talk to her. That's absolutely unacceptable, and if one of my husband's siblings treated me that way he would definitely be on the phone with them.


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## courier770 (Jan 29, 2011)

Well knitting_mama, you and I both went to showers and got our feelings hurt last Saturday. I'm so, so sorry as I know nearly exactly how you feel!

I came here and vented a little, grumbled at work and then got some real "enlightenment". A couple of my coworkers who I have knitted for in the past said things like "knit for me instead, I love the beautiful things you make" and one guy...yes a GUY said "well screw them, my daughter has kept the little cowgirl boot booties you made for my grand daughter and hopes someday a grandchild of hers will wear them!".

For every person who doesn't appreciate our efforts, there are a dozen more who would love to do what we do or be the recipient of our labors!

Perhaps your sister-in-law is a bit envious of your talents. My advice, avoid her for a while and for Pete's sake don't waste your time knitting for her!


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## AvonelleRed (Jun 29, 2011)

I agree with courier770. Knit for those who appreciate it, and don't ever do anything for your Sister-In-Law again. 

I hope that at least the shower recipient liked the outfit when she got home and really looked at it.


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## NJgardengal (Feb 23, 2011)

I agree, only knit for those who appreciate the work.

Meanwhile, as you were there, you probably have a relationship with the recipients. If you feel the recipients might take her trash talk seriously, why not contact them and offer to take the set back and depending on their response, offer to make something else. You might be surprised and learn that they appreciate the fine work you created for them.

Worst case, you'll have the work at your disposal, perhaps to donate to the next charity auction where you can watch the truly appreciative bid appropriate amounts for fine handmade items. ( And, by then, you might just feel like inviting said SIL, and let her observe how fine hand work is valued. That would be my response and, of course, being "too busy" any time in the future that she requests your efforts.)


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## realsilvergirl (Nov 13, 2011)

Knit her a muzzle....


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## Lrushefsky (Feb 6, 2011)

It think it was completely rude and ill mannered. Your work was of love and I sure it was wonderful. I would never make her anything. 
As for husband he should have supported you.
So sorry that it happened. If I had a little one your gift would be perfect. 
Happy knitting Linda


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## Nanny Mon (May 24, 2011)

realsilvergirl said:


> Knit her a muzzle....


Excellent idea :thumbup:


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## njbk55 (Apr 29, 2011)

I have been bouncing around following a couple of topics plus FB. Was reminded that a I crocheted two table toppers for sons on a cousin as wedding gifts. Had not met the brides.Too far away. Got nice Thank you from both of the them but will I was on FB one had posted some new photos of their girls. Low and behold in the background on a small table what the one that I made for them. Was nice to see that it was getting used.


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## courier770 (Jan 29, 2011)

LOVE the Muzzle idea...best laugh I've had in a while.

As a side note..I started a little car seat/baby carrier/security blanket. Since my daughter in law isn't all that receptive to hand knitted/crochet items - I'll donate it to someone who will appreciate it!


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## njbk55 (Apr 29, 2011)

to bad. some people don't understand what goes into making something. On my FB my daughter was showing me how to make an album of some of my project photos. She named that album Made With Love.


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## virginia42 (Mar 13, 2011)

That is unspeakably rude!


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## Bea 465 (Mar 27, 2011)

First of all, your SIL has no talent and is obviously jealous because you can create such beautiful things. To make herself feel better she had to put you down to the parents, even though I'm assuming they had no idea you made the blanket and booties. She knew you were within hearing distance and that's all that mattered. As far as your husband goes, unless this is standard procedure from his sister regarding everyone, not just you, he's going to be torn between his sister and you. If he doesn't know what kind of person she is you'll just have to hope he eventually finds out himself. I agree, you should NOT make anything for her or at her request in the future. This woman is obviously a very sad creature and you shouldn't have to put up with her in the future.


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## Sine (Jun 12, 2011)

OMG! How rude. She _asked_ you to make something and then she degraded your talent. What a buffoon!
Sometimes I am astounded at some people's manners (or lack thereof).


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## mojave (Oct 14, 2011)

Your sister-in-law was unspeakably cruel. Watch your back for this one. If your husband regularly takes his sister's side of a disagreement against you, seriously consider getting into marriage therapy with your pastor or a cerified marriage counselor. It may help him figure out where his priorities should be and help you figure out what level of respect he owes you.


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## pam (Jan 19, 2011)

OMG. Not much leaves me speechless, but this certainly does. All I can say is I am so glad my mom didn't raise me that way, and I am so thankful that I am not that woman. Unbelieveable.


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## Grandma Jan (Apr 6, 2011)

It wasn't rude; it was cruel. Her intention was to hurt. I wouldn't have anything more to do with her. She's let you know who she is and where she stands. 

And I would contact the recipient to find out how she felt about that incident. It could be that she was thrilled with your gift.


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## insanitynz (Mar 14, 2011)

how rude in future I hope you will be to busy to knit for her and I am sure the person you knitted it for will get it out of the bag and will be using it with pride


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## clarrysage (Jun 9, 2011)

I like this response---knit a muzzle ha ha ha!


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## yarnawhile (Apr 9, 2012)

What appalling behaviour, disrespectful and unappreciative. I would also contact the recipient, they may be just as astonished at your SIL and not even know you made the items. Did your SIL at least pay for the materials? If not I would present her with a bill.


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## LHODGE (Nov 7, 2011)

What a shame! She obviously doesn't appreciate a hand crafted item. So sorry, too bad the baby will not have that heirloom to pass on


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## mojave (Oct 14, 2011)

Another thought to protect you...now that your witchy sister-in-law has shown her true colors, it is time for you to start a journal about her conduct. When she behaves inappropriately towards you, write down the location, the time, what she did, what she said and your response. Also, note the names of any witnesses to the interaction. If your husband gets involved, write down his response. Write only the facts. Don't include soggy, sobbing details on how hurt you feel. 

Sooner or later, your sister-in-law is going to attempt justification of her conduct. One of her tactics will be to make you appear paranoid. When that time comes, you will be able to calmly and dispassionately refute her allegations because you recorded each incident in your journal.


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## courier770 (Jan 29, 2011)

mojave, you are much too kind. Me, I'd paste a photo of her on a dartboard and get my frustrations out that way...then nicely put the photo in a frame, holes and all and display it in my home!


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## Clickers (Apr 8, 2011)

Can't type what I thought. I am so sorry you had to be hurt in this inexpecable(sp) way.


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## BEChristianson (Dec 7, 2011)

NJgardengal said:


> I agree, only knit for those who appreciate the work.
> 
> Meanwhile, as you were there, you probably have a relationship with the recipients. If you feel the recipients might take her trash talk seriously, why not contact them and offer to take the set back and depending on their response, offer to make something else. You might be surprised and learn that they appreciate the fine work you created for them.
> 
> Worst case, you'll have the work at your disposal, perhaps to donate to the next charity auction where you can watch the truly appreciative bid appropriate amounts for fine handmade items. ( And, by then, you might just feel like inviting said SIL, and let her observe how fine hand work is valued. That would be my response and, of course, being "too busy" any time in the future that she requests your efforts.)


Great response. Be sure to contact the expectant parents and find out how they feel about the gift. I also feel that after some time has passed and you are not in the emotion of the moment, Talk to the Sil yourself. Some of the biggest mistakes I've made were having someone else speak up for me. I think you lose face when that happens. As hard as it is, speak up for yourself, and ask her if the gift wasn't what she expected.
Just my two cents.


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## misszzzzz (Feb 23, 2012)

Some people have no manners. I agree, it was said deliberately so you would overhear.

Make sure your DH knows how much she hurt you.

I would not attend any further functions if I knew she was going to be there. She obviously doesn't like you, more fool her.


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## mojave (Oct 14, 2011)

courier770 said:


> mojave, you are much too kind. Me, I'd paste a photo of her on a dartboard and get my frustrations out that way...then nicely put the photo in a frame, holes and all and display it in my home!


Courier, I'm not trying to be nice though I love your suggestion. I'm trying to give knitting mama a practical way to deal her situation. The behavior she described is characteristic of a sociopath and knitting mama needs to be prepared.

A sociopath often derives emotional gratification and a sense of power by choosing one family member and conducting a campaign to ostracize that person from the family. Sociopaths are very, very good at convincing others to believe what the sociopath says. If Evil Sister-in-Law (ESIL) has chosen knitting mama as the target, ESIL will work to convince the family that knitting mama is mentally unstable. Any sobbing, hysterical protests by knitting mama about ESIL's behaviour will be viewed by other family members as proof of ESIL's allegations. Knitting mama need to have factual evidence of dates, times, witnesses, and what happened as proof of ESIL's conduct.


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## Knitish (Feb 8, 2011)

How ugly..but this is the level of her frustration towards your skill and grace. Politely remind her slow-thinking that "if you do not look good, neither does she, so she really needs to step up".


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## LCGIRL (Mar 9, 2011)

How total disrespectful that was. It is a cruel world with people like that, but what we have to remember is those like ourselves that love others enough to make something with our own hands and give away with our hearts.

I had that happen to me 23 years ago when I made baby things for my husband's daughter. She never said thank you, nor did he ever wear anything I made.

Fortunately my daughter uses the things I've made for my two grandchildren, one is 3 and the other 16 months, but even if she didn't there are so many wonderful individuals out there that would appreciate this your talent and love.

Blessings, Linda


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## Knitish (Feb 8, 2011)

Mojave is right; we do not consider that someone in our family, work, or midst may have such serious problems, but they can and do. This is very good advice and worth jotting down the events and dates and specifics to keep.


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## Knitress (Feb 14, 2012)

She sounds like she is jealous of you. Does she demean everything you do? I have a sibling like that, no matter what I did I made a crocheted summer top for her and she was never satisfied with it. 

She is probably envious of your knitting ability, and a hand made gift is so special. Does she knit, maybe you could teach her.

I solved the problem, no more knit stuff for her and she moved and I dont contact her, I dont need the put downs. 

But have you talked to her about this incident? And more importantly, how did the expectant couple feel about it?


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## Linda6885 (Feb 13, 2011)

Can't imagine how awful this was for you. I wouldn't let this go however. She was the one that asked you to make it and then trashes it. Outrageous behavior. When you have an oppertunity to speak to your sister-in-law, I would tell her you heard what she said and that you want nothing to do with a woman like her. Try not to let your emotions get the better of you, don't let her know how much it hurt you, but even if it is your husbands sister doesn't mean you have to speak to her.


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## courier770 (Jan 29, 2011)

The new mom may well love the item. Knitress, you are right you cannot always please some people and at some point you have to give up trying.

My late sister was always very critical of everything I did in life. To clarify things my sister died a horrible death of pancreatic cancer. In our last conversations before she died, she told me how jealous she was of me. It took me completely by surprise. How was I to know? I had no clue!

The last birthday gift my sister sent me was a set of placemats with matching kitchen towels..sporting sheep and a note that simply said "you always did know what to do with these guys". I cherish them.

Sometimes our largest critics can truly be our best friends. We have to overlook their "barbs" now and then.


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## wanderer (Dec 13, 2011)

I so agree with Mojave. I had a SIL like that. Watch your back! My friends also said that they thought she was jealous of me. You think what she did was so terrible, so unbelievable, but just wait, (I hate to say) there may be more to come. I remained cordial for my brothers sake but when my brother died and her behavior became even more outragous (spelling?) lies and accusations, she's out of my life. Life is too short, spend time with good hearted people! People who lift you up! And keep doing your beautiful knitting!


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## rose haft (Jul 30, 2011)

I'm curious about the expectant parents. Did they look at it & express an opinion? Did they thank you? Will you get a Thank You Card? I hope she doesn't speak for them & "The rest of the story" has a better ending
.


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## damemary (Mar 14, 2012)

Some people deserve no place in our lives. Enough said.


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## courier770 (Jan 29, 2011)

You know, last week I was complaining about a baby shower..NOW I'm praying to God that my grandson will survive!

We've gotten some very bad news, are praying like crazy and just hoping this baby will make it.

Last week I'd have agreed about hurt feelings, this week I'm praying we don't have to plan a funeral!

Yes there are incredibly rude people, they pale in comparison to facing having to bury an infant!

I'm a knitter, whose faced hurt feelings more than once...now I'm facing the loss of an infant grandchild. 

Put things in perspective..what's a few dozen yards of yarn?


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## AvonelleRed (Jun 29, 2011)

courier770 said:


> You know, last week I was complaining about a baby shower..NOW I'm praying to God that my grandson will survive!
> 
> We've gotten some very bad news, are praying like crazy and just hoping this baby will make it.
> 
> ...


I am so sorry to hear about your grandson. I hope he pulls through. How awful for everyone; celebrating one week and having to worry the very next week.


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## charliesaunt (Apr 22, 2011)

courier770 said:


> You know, last week I was complaining about a baby shower..NOW I'm praying to God that my grandson will survive!
> 
> We've gotten some very bad news, are praying like crazy and just hoping this baby will make it.
> 
> ...


Courier....I will pray to Our Lady to protect your grandson. To hold him close to her heart and give him comfort and comfort to you and your family.


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## BrattyPatty (May 2, 2011)

My thoughts and prayers are with you, Courrier. God Bless!


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## courier770 (Jan 29, 2011)

This has been a difficult week and I thank you for your prayers and kind words. Still, what is more important? Feelings? A few dozen yards of yarn? The life of a child?

Life is so darn full of twists and turns, joy can turn to agony in the blink of an eye.

Sometimes we get so "full" of ourselves...well we just might need a "beat down" once in a while.

There is a beautiful nursery ready to welcome my grandson..with lovely furniture and adorable clothing in the drawers of his dresser and hanging on hangers in his closet....

Babes have been welcomed and just as loved with scant more than a blanket lined dresser drawer and hand me downs. Let's not get too hung up on what a new baby needs..a clean, warm place to lay their head, a nipple to suckle, a cloth to keep their little behind dry...everything else is "window dressing".

Trying hard to keep my head up.


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## Tennessee.Gal (Mar 11, 2012)

Perhaps her perspective would change if you ducked her head in the toilet! No way would I have handled it as nicely as you did (staying 2 hours and saying nothing). 

When my daughter was born 28 years ago, my SIL (husband's sister) made her a beautiful crib-size quilt. I loved it and used it until my daughter moved to a "big girl" bed. At that point, I put it carefully away to give her when she was grown. It is now one of her prized possessions. I would have been so pleased had anyone knitted such items as you describe for my daughter.


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## charliesaunt (Apr 22, 2011)

courier770 said:


> This has been a difficult week and I thank you for your prayers and kind words. Still, what is more important? Feelings? A few dozen yards of yarn? The life of a child?
> 
> Life is so darn full of twists and turns, joy can turn to agony in the blink of an eye.
> 
> ...


I agree that life changes in a second. All "the things" become meaningless, but we are human and feel we are judged a success by what we own and what we wear.

Please remember Jesus was born in a stable....I will ask our children's prayer group to pray for your grandson tomorrow. God hears the prayers of children in their innocense.


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## daralene (Feb 27, 2012)

How heartbreaking for you but that is the ultimate in rudeness. I surely can't begin to understand that lady's behavior. I am learning from this site and a few experiences, that it might be a good idea to start knitting for myself. So sorry you had to go through this. Hope talking with fellow knitters helps. I wish you could have taken it home and said "Rather than putting it in the trash as my SIL suggested, she can give you cash and I will take the baby outfit for someone that wants it."


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## kidatheart (Oct 15, 2011)

My thoughts and prayers Courrier.

I think when a family member treats you so terribly it hurts even more but if you are like me you learn to grow a thick skin, consider the source and just avoid them if possible. We need not apologize for having been blessed with the talent to create when so many others can't figure right from their left. 
I guess if you want to get one positive out of this it is that she didn't do this in front of everyone and humiliate you more. She doesn't deserve the time of day and I hope some day she will realize what a nasty person she is but I doubt it. People like her get off on hurting others because they are insecure and jealous.


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## daralene (Feb 27, 2012)

courier770 said:


> You know, last week I was complaining about a baby shower..NOW I'm praying to God that my grandson will survive!
> 
> We've gotten some very bad news, are praying like crazy and just hoping this baby will make it.
> 
> ...


Will send prayers for your grandson. So sorry to hear he is not doing well. Prayers for this dear little baby and all the family.


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## courier770 (Jan 29, 2011)

Daralene, I think there is more than a few of us who would well, make for a "bad video" to fight over this item. The baby's mother may well love the little set (as we all hope).

emotions often run "high" at these times.

Let's hope that everything has calmed down by now.

Given my own situation....quite frankly my daughter in law could toss everything I knitted into a garbage can right now..it's not the most important issue at the moment!


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## Janma (Apr 13, 2012)

Unfortunately there are people out in the wide world of non knitters who have absolutely no idea of the time, pain etc that we knitters put into making gifts etc for others, what they don't understand is that normally we get immense enjoyment out of making those items and even more when we see them being worn by the recipient, I know I do. 
Leave her off your Christmas list.

Jan.


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## knittykitty (Mar 22, 2011)

Well, let it settle a bit. Say a prayer for your sanity. And - Then, let her know you heard her comments. If that is not the most rude thing I have ever heard. It would be a cold day in **** before she would get more than a nod from me. No conversation - Nah Dah!


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## vjh1530 (Oct 8, 2011)

NJgardengal said:


> I agree, only knit for those who appreciate the work.
> 
> Meanwhile, as you were there, you probably have a relationship with the recipients. If you feel the recipients might take her trash talk seriously, why not contact them and offer to take the set back and depending on their response, offer to make something else. You might be surprised and learn that they appreciate the fine work you created for them.
> 
> Worst case, you'll have the work at your disposal, perhaps to donate to the next charity auction where you can watch the truly appreciative bid appropriate amounts for fine handmade items. ( And, by then, you might just feel like inviting said SIL, and let her observe how fine hand work is valued. That would be my response and, of course, being "too busy" any time in the future that she requests your efforts.)


 :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## YorkieMama (Mar 6, 2012)

courier770 said:


> You know, last week I was complaining about a baby shower..NOW I'm praying to God that my grandson will survive!
> 
> We've gotten some very bad news, are praying like crazy and just hoping this baby will make it.
> 
> ...


Courier 770, I am saying many prayers for your little grandson, his family and you. I have lit a candle for your grandson. It is so sad when one of the new little lives are in jeopardy.


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## heather.kearins (May 1, 2011)

Perhaps you should copy all these comments, then email them to her!!
Wonder what the reaction would be to that.


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## kiwiannie (Jul 30, 2011)

OMG what a rotten thing to do,you are in an awakward situation because she's your husbands sister,but what she did to you was unforgivable,and i would make sure she gets the message.


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## suebuddah (Aug 26, 2011)

knitting_mama said:


> I went to a baby shower last week, 7th of April. Prior to going my sister-in-law asked me to make a baby outfit, booties an a blanket to fit a bassinet for a baby boy . I got them done the day of the event. She took it into the place where it was, showed it to the expectant parents, then, said, "just accept this an when you get home trash it." She wadded it up an threw it in what looked like a bag for the plastic dinnerware that had been used. I know she said an did this as I was standing 6 ft. away from her. I felt miserable the rest of the event, no one saw it!! I stayed for the two hours then, called my husband to come get me. It never really hit home till the next day an I cried my eyes out cause I take great pride in making things for newborns. I haven't spoken to her since.....my husband's on his own cause it's his sister! I refuse to do ANYTHING FOR HER!


I can only sympathise with you as I have not yet had this done to me or if I have I know nothing about it, your sil sounds like a nasty person, don't stop knitting, and don't let it get you down she is not worth it, I am sure there are others that really respect and enjoy what you make for them, lots love xx


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## val hynson (Oct 9, 2011)

Thats someone you certainly wont be knitting for again, how rude, totally unacceptable unnecessary and off your Christmas card list.You are obviously a wonderful knitter, looking at your Avator.You stayed tall(I couldnt of done that)
Now when I knit for friends grandchildren
if no thankyou note or phone call is received (they all live a distace away)then no more knitting is done for them....


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## London Girl (Dec 18, 2011)

knitting_mama said:


> I went to a baby shower last week, 7th of April. Prior to going my sister-in-law asked me to make a baby outfit, booties an a blanket to fit a bassinet for a baby boy . I got them done the day of the event. She took it into the place where it was, showed it to the expectant parents, then, said, "just accept this an when you get home trash it." She wadded it up an threw it in what looked like a bag for the plastic dinnerware that had been used. I know she said an did this as I was standing 6 ft. away from her. I felt miserable the rest of the event, no one saw it!! I stayed for the two hours then, called my husband to come get me. It never really hit home till the next day an I cried my eyes out cause I take great pride in making things for newborns. I haven't spoken to her since.....my husband's on his own cause it's his sister! I refuse to do ANYTHING FOR HER!


What a spiteful b***h!! I think if your DH won't say anything you should take her to one side and calmly ask her what the heck was going on! Try not to dwell on the incident, she doesn't deserve you, look up, not down!!


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## suebuddah (Aug 26, 2011)

courier770 said:


> You know, last week I was complaining about a baby shower..NOW I'm praying to God that my grandson will survive!
> 
> We've gotten some very bad news, are praying like crazy and just hoping this baby will make it.
> 
> ...


my thoughts, love and prayers are sent to you xxx


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## moke (Oct 8, 2011)

omg! I think there is more behind this insult then her childish, horrible actions! It is like she plannned this or set you up. Not only would I be crushed, but I would also be livid. Be very leery of her requests in the future. She is a jeolous, mean spirited person.


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## Tashi (Aug 12, 2011)

This is heartbreaking and so much work. 
What was the idea behind the initial request anyway? I don't get it. 
I do feel however that you should tell her how deeply upset you were when it hit you. Don't worry about her response either way - apologetic or not, that is up to her. Hopefully she will reflect on her actions sometime in the future but at least she will know why you may say NO to her from now on.

It will also be easier for your husband as they basically do not like to feel in the middle of anything between sisters and sisters in law ( I know this is a generalisation, but comes after 40 years of marriage with some difficult sister in laws at different times.)

I have taken the view point that insensitive manners are the problem of the person and you can only bring it in the open and then let it go, otherwise it will eat you up. Also it will put the ' ball in her court" to make ammends or not.

Hope this helps,
Tashi


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## gdib (Jun 19, 2011)

Is any one that mean? it scares me how some people treat others. You stand strong, people like her you can do without.


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## jennyb1 (Mar 31, 2011)

I am so sorry you had this terrible experience, especially when you had been asked to make the items. I am sure they were beautifully made and hopefully the recipient will send you a lovely thankyou note and not have listened to your SIL. Your SIL sounds like a very sad lady and thrives on hurting others.


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## Granalou (Aug 11, 2011)

realsilvergirl said:


> Knit her a muzzle....


Very appropriate response! LOL


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## val hynson (Oct 9, 2011)

My thoughts and prayers are with you at this challenging time, God Bless you and your family


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## Wynn11 (Jul 20, 2011)

knitting_mama said:


> I went to a baby shower last week, 7th of April. Prior to going my sister-in-law asked me to make a baby outfit, booties an a blanket to fit a bassinet for a baby boy . I got them done the day of the event. She took it into the place where it was, showed it to the expectant parents, then, said, "just accept this an when you get home trash it." She wadded it up an threw it in what looked like a bag for the plastic dinnerware that had been used. I know she said an did this as I was standing 6 ft. away from her. I felt miserable the rest of the event, no one saw it!! I stayed for the two hours then, called my husband to come get me. It never really hit home till the next day an I cried my eyes out cause I take great pride in making things for newborns. I haven't spoken to her since.....my husband's on his own cause it's his sister! I refuse to do ANYTHING FOR HER!


This was totally and absolutely out of line. If it happened to me, I would feel it very difficult to forgive. Bless you. Your knittinng is beautiful and you should feel proud. Wynn


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## patty1 (Nov 15, 2011)

I could nevr had kept my mouth shut. She would have gotten it both barrells


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## Frannyward (Mar 22, 2012)

realsilvergirl said:


> Knit her a muzzle....


 Yes, what a great idea.


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## Wynn11 (Jul 20, 2011)

Courier, my prayers are with you. You will have the proper help to stay strong. I'm so sorry you have this problem. Wynn


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## Gerslay (Oct 4, 2011)

Pray for her! She has problems.


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## maidinkent (Jul 17, 2011)

I'd send her a huge bill for the yarn, umpteen hours of work at the going skilled rate, and finally $1000 for hurt feelings. You may not get paid, but perhaps she'll think twice, before she does it again to someone else. 

You can guess that I feel very indignant on your behalf!!! What a very rude and bad mannered person she is.


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## Leonora (Apr 22, 2011)

That was so mean and totally unforgiveable.


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## Diddleymaz (Sep 28, 2011)

Sounds very odd, 
just keep knitting for the ones who do apreciate!


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## djones5252 (May 6, 2011)

Just when you think you've heard it all.....so rude.


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## mombr4 (Apr 21, 2011)

realsilvergirl said:


> Knit her a muzzle....


What a great idea, or teach her some respect and manners.


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## motherdawg (Feb 13, 2011)

One cannot pick their relatives........but they can pick who they knit for.


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## flohel (Jan 24, 2011)

I am so sorry that happened to you. I personally would have said something to her especially since she asked you to knit them.. I thankfully have not experienced any of that. In fact people I know are very happy and impressed by hand knitting items.Such a rude and nasty thing for her to do. If I were you I would question her about it.


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## trisha 54 (Feb 24, 2012)

I would not have been so silent and definitely would have wanted to know why such a change since she asked you to make something to begin with. I would even at this point confront her and find out why she didn't appreciate it.


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## starrie (Oct 9, 2011)

some people are so ungrateful.All your hard work for nothing.Would u like to be one of our team,to knit for our local prem baby unit?We have to ask people to provide there own wool.we need blankets,jkts,mittens & booties.Get back to me if u would like to help,thanks.dont let this experience upset u its not worth it.


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## silvercharms (Mar 29, 2011)

A sociopath often derives emotional gratification and a sense of power by choosing one family member and conducting a campaign to ostracize that person from the family. Sociopaths are very, very good at convincing others to believe what the sociopath says. If Evil Sister-in-Law (ESIL) has chosen knitting mama as the target, ESIL will work to convince the family that knitting mama is mentally unstable. Any sobbing, hysterical protests by knitting mama about ESIL's behaviour will be viewed by other family members as proof of ESIL's allegations. Knitting mama need to have factual evidence of dates, times, witnesses, and what happened as proof of ESIL's conduct.[/quote]

I so much agree with you, mojave, that this woman is trouble.

She set up the situation, she asked for the items to be made, and then she deliberately rubbished them in Knittingmama's hearing - BUT WITHOUT OTHER PEOPLE KNOWING WHAT SHE WAS DOING!

This is very far from being normal rudeness.

She is evidently gunning for knittingmama, who is in a difficult position. The idea of a log-book is definitely not over the top, but a guarantee of being believed by others in the future.

Do take it seriously, knittingmama, because I know the harm such a person can do. My MIL was more subtle than this, but she set me up many a time, and misreported me then to others, which I never knew about. She seemed to enjoy running me and my husband down aggressively, provoking us, and letting us know how well she treated her other son and his wife. She did so much more, which I won't go into here.

If anyone wants more convincing, there's a very good book called 'In Sheep's Clothing' by George Simon about such people, which gives strategies on how to deal with them.

Be warned, this woman is bad news!


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## Schipperke (Nov 12, 2011)

Unbelievable. I would tackle her about it. Don't let it lie and fester or you'll never move on. Things have happened to me in the past and I've not tackled the people, and although I no longer see any of these people, (it was at work), in my quiet moments all the hurt comes back and I think of all the things I should have said and done. It won't be easy, but your husband may appreciate it and perhaps understand why you are so hurt and that what she did was obviously deliberate and so support you instead of being 'piggy in the middle'. Love to you xxx


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## patocenizo (Jun 24, 2011)

The nerve!!! What a nasty person... that's it!! You just keep your head up high and be glad you know what she is like and never again do anything for her. I am so sorry that there are mean spirited people like her.


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## Pam Read (Nov 2, 2011)

I agree...just because your sister-in-law is rude doesnt mean the expecting mom is...I would ask her about it...I'm sorry she did that to you...your work is beautiful !!


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## Marylou12 (Dec 11, 2011)

If it was me, I would have; after the gifts were all opened up, gone and gotten the blanket and booties and given them privately to the recipient again myself without SIL being in the picture. ( I guess that's my NY state upbringing!  )
How rude of her!!


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## Marylou12 (Dec 11, 2011)

silvercharms said:


> A sociopath often derives emotional gratification and a sense of power by choosing one family member and conducting a campaign to ostracize that person from the family. Sociopaths are very, very good at convincing others to believe what the sociopath says. If Evil Sister-in-Law (ESIL) has chosen knitting mama as the target, ESIL will work to convince the family that knitting mama is mentally unstable. Any sobbing, hysterical protests by knitting mama about ESIL's behaviour will be viewed by other family members as proof of ESIL's allegations. Knitting mama need to have factual evidence of dates, times, witnesses, and what happened as proof of ESIL's conduct.


I so much agree with you, mojave, that this woman is trouble.

She set up the situation, she asked for the items to be made, and then she deliberately rubbished them in Knittingmama's hearing - BUT WITHOUT OTHER PEOPLE KNOWING WHAT SHE WAS DOING!

This is very far from being normal rudeness.

She is evidently gunning for knittingmama, who is in a difficult position. The idea of a log-book is definitely not over the top, but a guarantee of being believed by others in the future.

Do take it seriously, knittingmama, because I know the harm such a person can do. My MIL was more subtle than this, but she set me up many a time, and misreported me then to others, which I never knew about. She seemed to enjoy running me and my husband down aggressively, provoking us, and letting us know how well she treated her other son and his wife. She did so much more, which I won't go into here.

If anyone wants more convincing, there's a very good book called 'In Sheep's Clothing' by George Simon about such people, which gives strategies on how to deal with them.

Be warned, this woman is bad news![/quote]

WOW! How interesting! They are trouble.


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## London Girl (Dec 18, 2011)

suebuddah said:


> courier770 said:
> 
> 
> > You know, last week I was complaining about a baby shower..NOW I'm praying to God that my grandson will survive!
> ...


From me too, God bless to you all xxxx


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## jmai5421 (May 6, 2011)

NJgardengal said:


> I agree, only knit for those who appreciate the work.
> 
> Meanwhile, as you were there, you probably have a relationship with the recipients. If you feel the recipients might take her trash talk seriously, why not contact them and offer to take the set back and depending on their response, offer to make something else. You might be surprised and learn that they appreciate the fine work you created for them.
> 
> Worst case, you'll have the work at your disposal, perhaps to donate to the next charity auction where you can watch the truly appreciative bid appropriate amounts for fine handmade items. ( And, by then, you might just feel like inviting said SIL, and let her observe how fine hand work is valued. That would be my response and, of course, being "too busy" any time in the future that she requests your efforts.)


I agree, contact the recipient and see if you can buy her something in exchange for the work you put in on the baby outfit. Maybe she doesn't feel the same way as your SIL. In the meantime don't knit anything for your SIL. that was so rude, hurtful and meanspirited. If she felt that way she didn't have to express her opinion at the party with others around. I feel bad for you.


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## trace (Apr 18, 2011)

Realsilvergirl has the right idea xx


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## eduncanofvass (Jun 24, 2011)

you are more understanding than i would have been because i would have said something to her that very moment she deserves to be kicked right in the butt and i too would not ever give her the time of day


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## apette (Mar 15, 2012)

I don't understand people sometimes. I empathize with you. I would definitely mention this to your husband. He must know how much effort and passion goes into your work. Sister or not, he has to know how you feel.

I made a number of sweaters for my brother, his wife and my neice,their daughter. One Christmas my SIL gave them all back to me, saying that none of them could where anything with wool in them. She had a wool sweater on at the time.

I also made them a bed quilt at my brother's request. Took me 9 months to complete. She did put it on their bed, but covered it with a duvet.

I haven't made them anything since and never will.

Craft for only those who appreciate it. I once made a quilted table cover for a friend, a very gifted crafter, as a gift. When she opened it she cried and said "no one has very made me anything". That's appreciation.


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## Stablebummom (Dec 5, 2011)

Jessica-Jean said:


> The nerve! Unbelievable! Unspeakable behaviour!


DITTO-DITTO! How dare she? That woman would be "off my list" for a long, long, time!


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## janis blondel (May 20, 2011)

What a nasty person. It's times like that when I hope what goes around comes around.


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## jmai5421 (May 6, 2011)

courier770 said:


> You know, last week I was complaining about a baby shower..NOW I'm praying to God that my grandson will survive!
> 
> We've gotten some very bad news, are praying like crazy and just hoping this baby will make it.
> 
> ...


My thoughts and prayers are with you.


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## ToniJean (Jan 23, 2011)

Never mind your husband, rip your sister-in-law a new one!!! I would call the expectant parent who received the gift, and tell her you would take the set back (if she didn't like it)and give it to someone who would appreciate it.


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## LBush1144 (Jan 23, 2011)

I am so sorry that you were treated so badly. I plan to make some items for three new babies, and if they aren't appreciated, they can give them back. My DIL will love all that I make. Her cousins hopefully will like what I make also.


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## Ali9407 (Jun 25, 2011)

knitting_mama said:


> I went to a baby shower last week, 7th of April. Prior to going my sister-in-law asked me to make a baby outfit, booties an a blanket to fit a bassinet for a baby boy . I got them done the day of the event. She took it into the place where it was, showed it to the expectant parents, then, said, "just accept this an when you get home trash it." She wadded it up an threw it in what looked like a bag for the plastic dinnerware that had been used. I know she said an did this as I was standing 6 ft. away from her. I felt miserable the rest of the event, no one saw it!! I stayed for the two hours then, called my husband to come get me. It never really hit home till the next day an I cried my eyes out cause I take great pride in making things for newborns. I haven't spoken to her since.....my husband's on his own cause it's his sister! I refuse to do ANYTHING FOR HER!


This is way over the top. I would not be surprised if in the near future she is diagnosed with some type of mental problem i.e. Alzheimers. When someone acts in such a bazaar manner I would suspect there is something really serious going on. Could this be????


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## roseknit (Apr 2, 2011)

I would have retrieved the gift there and then, and taken her down a peg or two in front of everyone, What a cruel thing to do to you after your efforts. She's obviously no lady. I feel sorry for you and your husband having a relative like that.


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## andyjmcc (Feb 26, 2012)

Some ppl don't know how to make anything and they don't get it! Others who can't worship what we do. More and more ppl understand and appreciate what we do, but the others are still out there. Look for clues before you do any more favors!!!!


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## cbjlinda (May 25, 2011)

I beleive I would have confronted her right there and then and asked her if she felt that way why did she ask you to make it. and then I would never everrrrrrrrrrrrr make anything for her again.


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## Pamela F (Mar 22, 2012)

The best piece of advice I've ever been given is 'only bother about the people worth bothering about'. Sending hugs.


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## caloughner (Oct 3, 2011)

I would have been devestated. I have an associate (I hesitate to call her a friend) that can be very rude at times. Recently there was a church bulletin insert that really helped. It was a reflection by Kenneth L. Samuel, "Deep insults come from people who are deeply disturbed." I have it posted on my desk and refer to it whenever I need to and it really makes me feel better.


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## diane69 (Aug 29, 2011)

I am so sorry you were treated this way. You did not deserve it. Maybe she was jealous of it and in no way could duplicate it .
Diane


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## journey7 (Nov 24, 2011)

I agree with Courier770 - knit for those who will appreciate your talent.

Hang in there.


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## Knitter forever (Dec 11, 2011)

Very ignorant,not just rude. I would ask the one whose shower it was to give it back to you. Maybe she doesn't like things handmade.or if she does then ask Shay that was all about. As for husband,tell him to strap on his back bone and call sis,and tell her that what she did was uncalled for. He knows what you do,what did he say. Hmhmhmhmhm


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## Pleclerrc (Apr 17, 2011)

How sad. It's unfortunate to have such a rude and ungrateful family member. Why not just ask her why she did this and let her know she hurt your feelings? It probably won't sink in but, at least, you'll let her know how her actions affected you. Should she ask you to do anything (anything) in the future, just politely tell her that you decided never to do anything for her after this incident (and don't back down). She sounds like a selfish, immature and rude person. Know that someone else would have gushed over all the work you put into it and really appreciate your efforts. Kindest regards, Patricia


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## Lovinknittin (Apr 2, 2011)

knitting_mama said:


> I went to a baby shower last week, 7th of April. Prior to going my sister-in-law asked me to make a baby outfit, booties an a blanket to fit a bassinet for a baby boy . I got them done the day of the event. She took it into the place where it was, showed it to the expectant parents, then, said, "just accept this an when you get home trash it." She wadded it up an threw it in what looked like a bag for the plastic dinnerware that had been used. I know she said an did this as I was standing 6 ft. away from her. I felt miserable the rest of the event, no one saw it!! I stayed for the two hours then, called my husband to come get me. It never really hit home till the next day an I cried my eyes out cause I take great pride in making things for newborns. I haven't spoken to her since.....my husband's on his own cause it's his sister! I refuse to do ANYTHING FOR HER!


I'm the other way. I have said that if somebody did not want what I gave, they could give it back. "It's okay," I say. I do this especially when it's a new item or something different. Your SIL sounds very stressed and could not control her tongue. If I were the recipient, I would have been so stunned by her comment!

Oh, well, never again! Make for yourself!!!! Enjoy your good work. Enjoy your supporters. Keep doing good things that you enjoy until you forget this. :thumbup: Some day you'll laugh at it in wonder.


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## tammyc77 (Apr 7, 2012)

realsilvergirl said:


> Knit her a muzzle....


I love this idea! I agree with everyone's statements here, and I truly believe it was a jealousy issue. I hope you are feeling better - even if she's a jerk, it must've Really hurt. I would definitely contact the couple - I would love to hear how they reacted to her behavior.


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## uncrn65 (Mar 29, 2011)

janayoga said:


> How mean spirited! I don't understand because she had requested the outfit. I find it necessary to be very careful about giving hand made gifts to others, because they probably won't understand the effort that went in to it, and because tastes differ so much from person to person. When in doubt I say "No."
> 
> I feel for you.


That was so very rude! I too made hats, scarves, and mittens for my granddaughter and her boyfriend last Christmas. I never even received a thank you from them. I only hope that they krpt them. People who don't knit don't understand the time, effort and love that goes into hand made gifts. Just keep on knitting for the people who will appreciate hand made items.


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## Tashi (Aug 12, 2011)

I have just read all the other comments and this gave me an idea.... why not ask the recipient to mail you a pic of the bub wearing your items to share with all your friends here.... so we can admire all loudly!!!! 
By- pass the SIL altogether. ( but still ask her what this was all about and how hurt you were when you overheard her)


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## Suzinky (Jan 31, 2011)

Who needs enemies when we have "relatives" like her? I have learned it is best to just avoid as much as possible people (including relatives) who are psychic vampires. She must have no self-esteem and the only way she knows to build hers is to tear someone else's (you, in this case) down. Yes, I agree that jealousy plays a part in what happened to you. How sad; it is obvious that her inner life must be miserable--her choice, I guess. If nothing else, this experience will make you stronger. :thumbup:


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## patty1 (Nov 15, 2011)

I have posted on this already but my hubby said I should tell you the story of a quilt i made. I quilt as well as knit and I made a quilt for a friend of mine, just because she was a freind no other reason. She opened it and said she didn't like it and handed it back to me. I was devistated after all the work and love I put into it. Well I had to prove to myself the quilt was somewhat good so I entered it in the State Fair and it took 1st Place. The person I made it for was there, right next to me and told the women she was with that the quilt was her's made by me. She even had the nerve to ask if she would get the ribbon with it. My answer: You are not only getting the ribbon you are not getting the quilt. You returned it remember. Didn't think anyone's mouth could drop that far. Sorry this is so long.


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## sophie11 (Nov 22, 2011)

This is so sad. I also went to a baby shower yesterday and all the hand made gifts received were greatly appreciated.


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## ConnieD (Nov 12, 2011)

You don't say what the relationship is between you and the expectant parents -- perhaps just friends of your sister-in-law!? It will be interesting to see if you get a thank you card -- a thought!! You could contact the gift recipient and tell them that if they don't like the gift, to please return it, so you can give it to someone who would appreciate it! Or approach your SIL with the same comment! I have learned long ago that people are rarely what you expect them to be, or would like them to be. I am soooo sorry that your gift was not appreciated by your SIL (but don't forget the gift recipient may have loved the gift!) A word of advice: start making things for people you know will appreciate them! Good luck!


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## fiddlerbird555 (Apr 6, 2011)

I know there's a million replies already, but that's just absurd. I notice you describe it all as being the SIL, so there's two ways to play it. One would have been to take it back in a huff (NOBODY TRASHES MY WORK, EVEN IF THEY ARE PHILISTINES!)

The other would have been all Miss-Manners and focused on the recipient's satisfaction "Oh, if you don't like it I'm sure I can find someone who would; I'm sorry that isn't to your taste -- [SIL] must have had a memory glitch when *she suggested* this for you" (Miss Manners also liked getting perfect bullet proof digs in at people like your SIL). If you have contact information on the recipient, you can still try this one.


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## morningstar (Mar 24, 2012)

Someone said, "Friends are the family you choose!" Avoid the toxic folks that cross your path. Move on and continue to enjoy making gifts for those who treasure your kind heart and talent.


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## grandmatimestwo (Mar 30, 2011)

I am so sorry that you had that experience! Why on earth would someone ask you to make something and then treat you that way? Horrible and I cannot even imagine any excuse she may have!


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## sam07671 (May 12, 2011)

OMGosh how eude of her. You went through such joy in making this and she said that to the expetant parent. I don't believe she did that. Did she pick out the pattern and yarn? Some people have some nerve!!!!!! I don't blame you for your reaction to what she said and did. I am afraid I would have said something when I heard that and pulled her aside and asked her why. The I would have went to the parents and explained to them you made it and am sorry if they didn't like it. GRRRRRR this makes me soooooo mad!!!!!!


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## morningstar (Mar 24, 2012)

Someone said, "Friends are the family you choose!" Avoid the toxic folks that cross your path. Move on and continue to enjoy making gifts for those who treasure your kind heart and talent.


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## sam07671 (May 12, 2011)

OMGosh how rude of her. You went through such joy in making this and she said that to the expetant parent. I don't believe she did that. Did she pick out the pattern and yarn? Some people have some nerve!!!!!! I don't blame you for your reaction to what she said and did. I am afraid I would have said something when I heard that and pulled her aside and asked her why. Then I would have went to the parents and explained to them you made it and am sorry if they didn't like it. GRRRRRR this makes me soooooo mad!!!!!!


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## sam07671 (May 12, 2011)

Jessica-Jean said:


> The nerve! Unbelievable! Unspeakable behaviour!


 :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## czechmate (Jun 17, 2011)

sometimes you will find a person who really admires our work,but most don't have an inkling.but I am bad I like to make something people ooo an aah over and ask me to make something I say ,no but I will teach you.


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## sam07671 (May 12, 2011)

realsilvergirl said:


> Knit her a muzzle....


LOL!!!!!! Thats to funny.


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## Ingried (Sep 23, 2011)

Manners are like common sense, one either has them or not.
She has none.

What a miserable Life this Woman must have to be to hateful.
Hope she paid you for your effort.
As to your husband, tell him to "shed his wimp" and giver her an
ear full.


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## Gail9 (Mar 4, 2011)

I believe a quiet talk is in order. Tell her want you saw and how it made you feel. Also let her know that you wish she had not done that as you know of plenty of people who would have loved what you made. I would check with the person that was to receive the gift and have a quiet talk. I believe that there is more going on than what you saw. As you did not say you were paid to make this, I would tell her sense she did not like or want what you made she will not be troubled with your craft in the future. Forgive her for her behavior and move on.


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## kalebsgrandma (Apr 3, 2012)

Your sister-in-law needs mental health counseling. That was cruel and beyond comprehension. Sorry you had to experience that. Praying for comfort for you.


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## Cindy M (Sep 5, 2011)

I'm so sorry that you had to go through that. The knitting isn't the issue here. Evidently, her little stunt was well thought out and planned in advance. She meant to use something that means a great deal to you to hurt you. I'm sure this isn't the first time she's done something like that. Some people emotionally abuse others. It's the same as if a person in a domestic abuse situation had slapped his victim. The SIL used words and public humiliation. Please be assured that she's the one with the problem, not you. The only thing you can do is to cut her out of your life and do what is called detaching. 

The other people at that party saw what she did to you. They're not stupid. She only succeeded in making herself look like a jerk. There are some people who have been abused as kids. They are small people who have to verbally and emotionally abuse others in order to feel good about themselves. It's like a junkie in search of a fix. The best defense is apathy. Don't speak to her, refuse to fight with her (she'll pick fights deliberately) and refuse to react. Take away her power by refusing to be her victim.


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## Patian (May 10, 2011)

She was way beyond rude - that is unspeakably mean and cruel!


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## kknott4957 (Mar 31, 2011)

hopefully the recipient has more class than your sister-in-law


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## tamarque (Jan 21, 2011)

I have read enough of these comments. This woman was nasty, pure and simple. But what strikes me is that you didn't respond at the event. Why didn't you take the gift out of the trash bin, smooth it out and either walk away with it, or say something to the person for whom you made it. There was lots you could have said, even nicely such as "I am sorry if this is not to your liking, but we can talk about what you need later." From there, you could have chosen to eliminate the SIL by saying 'excuse me, this is not for you!.'

But your husband did need to defend you. Especially because it WAS family, he should have trusted his relationship with his sister to ream her out for such hurtful behavior, which BTW, was none of her damned business. The gift wasn't hers!


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## MTNKnitter (Jun 11, 2011)

Jessica-Jean said:


> The nerve! Unbelievable! Unspeakable behaviour!


Exactly.


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## EileenED (Aug 19, 2011)

How rude x


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## missyern (Jan 23, 2011)

I agree with CindyM. I had the absolutely worst in-laws ever. His mom did not want him to marry anyone. She taught everyone of her children to hate me. I was so young and dumb - I just could not believe the things they said and did to me. BUT I learned they wanted me to confront them. It gave them another excuse to say nasty things. What goes around comes around - we cared for her in her old age and I was extra nice. SIL apologised just before she died of Cancer. All the living sons try to be nice to me but I just want them to LEAVE ME ALONE.


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## GANDY (Oct 27, 2011)

NOT TO WORRY, DEAR KNITTER - JEALOUSY MAKES PEOPLE REACT UNACCEPTABLY. YOUR SIL DOESN'T HAVE JUST "A" LOOSE SCREW - ALL HER SCREWS ARE LOOSE.....PITY HER, SHE HAS TO LIVE WITH HER MISERABLE SELF....WHILE YOU HAVE YOUR HAPPY DAYS WITH NEEDLES AND YARN.

GANDY


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## Woolywarmer (May 31, 2011)

love this idea! (the muzzle).


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## Jaki (Apr 5, 2011)

How perfectly dreadful for you! My heart goes out to you in this - respectfully I suggest you "accidentally" leave the page open to where you have opened your heart to us, and allow your husband to see it - perhaps then he might start thinking. What a miserable type of person his sister has turned out to be! Keep knitting honey, enjoy what you make and put her out of your mind!! PS: you could make yourself a pincushion and make use of it with meaning - it will make you feel so much better!!! and no-one will be any the wiser tee hee!


knitting_mama said:


> I went to a baby shower last week, 7th of April. Prior to going my sister-in-law asked me to make a baby outfit, booties an a blanket to fit a bassinet for a baby boy . I got them done the day of the event. She took it into the place where it was, showed it to the expectant parents, then, said, "just accept this an when you get home trash it." She wadded it up an threw it in what looked like a bag for the plastic dinnerware that had been used. I know she said an did this as I was standing 6 ft. away from her. I felt miserable the rest of the event, no one saw it!! I stayed for the two hours then, called my husband to come get me. It never really hit home till the next day an I cried my eyes out cause I take great pride in making things for newborns. I haven't spoken to her since.....my husband's on his own cause it's his sister! I refuse to do ANYTHING FOR HER!


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## gmarie (Feb 8, 2012)

realsilvergirl said:


> Knit her a muzzle....


Ditto!!


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## Knitwit21 (Jan 8, 2012)

Bless your heart. I am so sorry you were hurt over someone's jealous behavior. And the time you took was not wasted as this was a gift to a new Mom and precious baby. NOT to a rude sister-in-law. All we can do is work from our hearts and know our intentions are good. Best wishes and carry on with a smile. The sister-in-law has to live with herself.... Sounds like revenge enough to me. Enjoy your day. Your Knitting Sisters are on Your side!


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## ThorPepper (Jan 24, 2012)

Be civil to her-she's scary unhinged; this is not just rude behavior unless this has been your relationship over the time you've known her. If you don't have to spend time with her, don't. And remember, life's too short to waste any emotional energy on her. Find the good things in your life to focus on. Boy! She's weird.


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## Nanimal (Dec 14, 2011)

This did happen to me one time...I made a life sized Angel for a Christmas door contest for work, and spent over 200 bucks doing it. It was awesome work. Some man even stopped at the door and was asking directions from her...until he discovered it was a doll. One girl in the office made some pretty rude comments about it and tried to diminish my self confidence in my ability to produce good art. When it won the contest, the same girl came to me and asked me if I would make something for her. I said no, she would have to learn to make her own things. When I produced a portrait for another person, she wanted me to do a portrait for her. I said no.

It was really easy to say no. I just put my lips together and formed an emphatic O.

Sweetie, if this were me, and I know it's not, I would call the woman up and tell her what I heard, and tell her how much effort went into the set, and then tell her that if she wants anything else made to make it herself. She wouldn't even be on my list for any other gifts either...not because she diminished what I did, but because she's just an ungrateful wench.


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## jersgran (Mar 19, 2012)

welcome back, Jessica Jean. I missed you.


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## sam07671 (May 12, 2011)

yarnawhile said:


> What appalling behaviour, disrespectful and unappreciative. I would also contact the recipient, they may be just as astonished at your SIL and not even know you made the items. Did your SIL at least pay for the materials? If not I would present her with a bill.


Yes, yes...I would diffently present her with the bill for the materials.


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## johannecw (Oct 25, 2011)

Oh Knitting Mama, I am so sorry this happened to you. Sitting here now away from the drama, I can think of what you could have done (easy from this place). I think you should have boldly walked over and taken the package and said, "I'm sorry you don't think she will like this. I will keep it, since I knitted it." That would have put the sister-in-law in her place and salvaged what is most likely a lovely baby set. 

Please do something really nice for yourself today! You have earned it. Hugs! Johanne


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## sam07671 (May 12, 2011)

misszzzzz said:


> Some people have no manners. I agree, it was said deliberately so you would overhear.
> 
> Make sure your DH knows how much she hurt you.
> 
> I would not attend any further functions if I knew she was going to be there. She obviously doesn't like you, more fool her.


Oh no..I really tend to disagree with not attending any funtions the SIL attends. She needs to attend. Just to show face. If she dosent then the SIL will take great pleasure in it and think she is in contorl and continue in her rude behavior. No I would diffently show up but avoid any contact with her and let her make herself look and sound rude if she makes any comments about her. But be very pleasant with her when you are in contact with her. Kill her with kindness. It is hard to do but the message will get through to her.


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## katparale (Apr 17, 2011)

I am speechless! Not sure if I am more shocked at sil or your husband! I agree with all the comments but she would never be a blessed with my time and effort again! Do for those who love and appreciate it.and with all the talent on this site a pattern for a muzzle shouldn't be hard to come up with.


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## kseaquist (Nov 30, 2011)

This does not make sense! Even if the gifts you made had been less than wonderful (I'm sure they were beautiful, by the way), she should have been your greatest ally, proud of you and what you had made. Thoughtless, inconsiderate, unkind, unloving, uncaring - descriptive words, just to name a few. You can shake the dust of your shoes as far as that experience goes, - and move forward. But be smart! Never knit anything for her or anyone she asks you to knit for - again! I am sorry for you!


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## PauletteB. (Feb 7, 2012)

This has to top the list as one of the rudest and cruelest things I have heard. My work is too important to me to leave it in the trash bag. I am with you She would be at the bottom of my list, however you must forgive her for your own self. You cannot let it fester within you. Just know what to do if she ever ask anything else.


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## peters girl (Dec 13, 2011)

pray for her, she is obviouslly a very unhappy person. Keep up your spirits.


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## cathy47 (Jun 6, 2011)

I know just what I would have done. I am not a lady lets put it that way when people want to be down right rude/dirty up comes my horns and down goes the halo. I would have marched right over and dug out the items and at the same time let it fly on how I felt and how really nasty the @#$!&* is and never to come to me again. this is mild I really would have been all over her. I am at this time making some baby items for a niece and things like this makes me start thinking twice.


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## jan m (Jul 5, 2011)

Uncalled for, Unnecessary and Unforgivable!


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## fran-e (Nov 26, 2011)

knitting mama... i just have to put in my 2 cents. i would write her a letter, in it i would tell her how i feel about my knitting, the pride i take in it and the care i give it. when she requested you to do it, you took special care to make sure it was very nice, so you could feel proud. 
what you did was so unacceptable. sorry you feel that way about the things i make, i will never burden you with anything that i make. 
i wish you no bad luck, i wish you the best of all things. sorry that my talent isn't up to your standards.
enuff said, we will just drop it now, and move on. 

that is what i would do, something of that type, your own words, she will get the point, unless...she is a complete moron, which might be the case, but you need to keep some sort of relations bec of your hubby. he doesn't need to be hurt, bec his sister is a total..well, you fill in the blank. sorry this happen to you. how unfortunate.


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## yarnboi (Nov 14, 2011)

I had a similar incident happen but yet not as hurtful to me.My very good friend and roommate has a daughter who is about to become a mother for the first time, a single one at that . So my rommie asked if i could make something and i did a very simple easy sweater with a hood and some ribbon ties and matching booties and i also found at a garage sale (rummage sale) a very beautiful old fashioned bonnet and christening jacket, anyway my roomie was so excited went to the baby shower and the mom-to-be never showed up, my roomie left the gift and has spoken to her daughter twice and there has been no mention or thanks and my roomie is so apologetic but im not hurt i made it for her to give and she loved it i hope that you find solacein the fact that your heart was in the right place god bless you and have a happy... keep your head up and your tension even and all will be right in the world and remember what comes around goes around SMILE


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## marybt (Nov 10, 2011)

What an ungrateful creature she is...she has shown her true colours here, take some advice..if she asks you to knit anything else...just politely say that you have a number of projects to do and you just wont have the time.
Don't you upset yourself lass, if she can do this to you, then she's not really worth bothering with. You can choose your friends but unfortunately not your relations. Keep knitting with your chin up.


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## sam07671 (May 12, 2011)

AvonelleRed said:


> courier770 said:
> 
> 
> > You know, last week I was complaining about a baby shower..NOW I'm praying to God that my grandson will survive!
> ...


I am so sorry about your GS. I am sending prayers your way. Please keep us informed. You have all of us behind you.


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## tielma (Nov 20, 2011)

Knit her the muzzle lined with spines!


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## Barbara Spoo (Jan 23, 2011)

This isn't very nice, but "nice is as nice does." When it's time to give her a gift (birthday, holiday, whatever), go to the dollar store, pick out the cheapest, ugliest item--bra, socks, sweater--hopefully something that has been returned several times.
Hand it to her, beautifully wrapped, with the comment, "I know you really prefer something professionaly made rather than my handwork. And I know this is something you will appreciate." Then, don't talk to her again, unless absolutely necessary.


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## farmgirl (Jul 19, 2011)

That is just terrible! What a rude thing to do! I give you credit for going about your day because I would've spoken up and asked exactly why did I get asked to make them and I would've taken them home with me. Just remember...Karma is a beautiful thing


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## AuntLo (Apr 12, 2012)

Very rude and thoughtless. After the shock I would have to confront her as to why she did what she did after she had ask you to make it. I would have to know what was wrong. You are not responsible for her actions but I would like to know what she was thinking.


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## Robin Redhead (Feb 25, 2011)

Sounds like your SIL has issues. She must be very difficult for people to be around...mean spirited and jealous.


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## jonibee (Nov 3, 2011)

I would cross her off my list relative or not , and your husband should stand by you..your his wife ..you come before his sister..she is very mean spirited and did this intentionally to hurt you...know who your enemies are. Don't waste your tears on her..she's not worth it.


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## annalee15 (Feb 11, 2011)

OMG! That is just horrible, rude...i could go on and on. i dont know how u managed to stay there for the shower. I would of said something. From what i read that u posted, u dont really know if they liked it or not. It may just be your sister in laws opinion. Just horrible, i think this will stay with me all day. 

your shawl in the picture is just wonderful. i think your sister in law is the one to hiding in shame.
hugs,


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## annalee15 (Feb 11, 2011)

Wow! that is good i like that repy!


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## annalee15 (Feb 11, 2011)

Geepers was replying to the reply..."knit her a muzzle" i love it.


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## leslie41447 (Feb 7, 2011)

How hurtful. Do the two of you have a history of not getting along? I can't understand how she could have said that in front of you. She needs medication.


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## daralene (Feb 27, 2012)

courier770 said:


> Daralene, I think there is more than a few of us who would well, make for a "bad video" to fight over this item. The baby's mother may well love the little set (as we all hope).
> 
> emotions often run "high" at these times.
> 
> ...


Yes, I agree with you. Your situation puts a whole different perspective on things. So many are facing life and death for themselves or those they love. I am praying for your precious little grandchild.


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## SherryH (Apr 4, 2011)

I am appalled that a presumably adult would be so viciously rude. I hope you have told your husband how his sister behaved. I also hope you speak with the couple expecting the baby. They should be informed that you spent a great deal of time on the gift and if they do not want it, please to at least donate it to a hospital for infants.


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## annalee15 (Feb 11, 2011)

Courrier, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I have a niece she is having a difficult time carrying and is due to be induced the first week of may. We are hoping for the best.


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## Pat FP (Nov 30, 2011)

She is rude and cheap. A sincere apology and better behavior is due to you.Shame on her.


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## sidecargrammie (Feb 14, 2011)

Jessica-Jean you are back!!.....and to that very rude sister in law...can totally understand what that sister in law did to you... ....my own daughter has given stuff away to others..things I knit for her kids....I was brought up appreciating anything that was handcrafted...Shame on her!!!!


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## rjhandmade (Feb 15, 2012)

I also have a sil that can be unstable at times. She didn't feel well at my daughters wedding, 4 years later she says to my husband that I don't really want her around, b/c look how she ignored me when I was not feeling well at my daughters wedding. I called and cleared the air. Don't put your husband in the middle and don't let it fester. Call and calmly clear the air. Family can be very hard to deal with. I also would call the recipiant or send a note and say you were asked to make this and hope that they like it. If not return it so you can donate it to charity. Good Luck with the sil. Try to let it go b/c it will take over.


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## humdinger (Sep 12, 2011)

I agree with NJgardengal - why don't you call the recipient and suggest that you could make another set if the style, color etc. of that one did not suit. That way you will know for sure! just sayin......


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## Dowager (Jun 7, 2011)

People like your SIL need to be remove from the gene pool!


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## Joanie 5 (Apr 12, 2011)

What planet does this woman come from? I have never heard of anyone being so cruel, rude and heartless. She needs help in the kindness catagory. I cannot believe it, you poor thing. I am amazed that you were able to remain at the shower and not say anything. I admire you.


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## Elenor (Jan 30, 2011)

"Has this every happened to you?" was the name of the topic and yes it did happen to me in a way.
I "had" a "friend" who had asked me to make things for her and her gks and paid for the yarn and my time and I never heard any negative remarks until:
I was commissioned to make a hooded sweater for her toddler grandson. When I asked how she liked it I was told that the hood was too big and her sister and her made a lot of fun out of it. I told her that was the style of the pattern and that she could return it and I'd make a smaller one. Well guess what, when I asked what she had done with it, she said she threw it away. I was shocked to say the least, and she said she "paid for it and she could do whatever she wanted to with it!" She had the nerve to say that even the woman who housecleans for her didn't want it. 
Well needless to say, I was really taken-a-back by her crazy remarks and everyone I know thinks she was out of her mind for doing and saying what she did. 
I did take the time to call her after that incident and she said she was glad I did, (never spoke of the sweater). I never heard from her again and I never went out of my way to contact her.
I did feel like the "better person" by letting her know that what she had said didn't make me a mean and vindictive person like her.


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## LaurieJanesplace (Aug 8, 2011)

I guess I am odd woman out here once again. SIL's behavior was rude and many of the advice tidbits given here unless all were supposed to be humorous were equally as rude as were the "judgements on her behavior". IMHO the knitters here should have learned that a gift issomething given voluntarily without payment in return, as to show favor toward someone, honor an occasion, or make a gesture of assistance; present.

Payment in return includes a thank you, gratitude expressed and words about how nice it is. Any knitting or crochet done and given away with those expectations is a way to set yourself up. Perhaps changing your expectations will eliminate so much hurt that was expressed over 12 pages.

Courrier 77 prayers for the baby from Shelby.


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

I can't even imagine anyone acting that way. It's beyond rude.


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## Whitwillhands (Feb 12, 2012)

What a horrible uncaring person she is. Why ask you to do it then do that. Don't let her spoil your relationship with your husband though because she will be the winner and you are the winner because you have a big heart. As they say you can choose your friends but not your family.
Keep on creating your masterpieces!


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## Paula - Sussex UK (Mar 26, 2011)

This is very bizarre behaviour. Whether this is a typical example or an isolated incident it may indicate that your sister in law needs some professional help. A quiet word with your brother expressing your concern - rather than your justifiable anger - might be just the impetus needed to get something done. Just remember, that you have the sympathy of so many KPers and I hope that will help you in some way at this difficult time.


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## Kathi11 (Oct 27, 2011)

That was just plain MEAN. I'm flabbergasted that anyone could be so rude and a family member on top of it. I'm not one to hold a grudge but in this case at the very least it deserves a very sincere apology and explanation.


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## cullenbe (Jul 3, 2011)

My heart goes out to you. I don't see how ANY of the guests could have any respect for her whatsoever.


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## Novice Sandy (Apr 16, 2011)

Was she mean spirited, definitely. So sorry for the pain it has caused. You have to do whatever you are comfortable with, but I would bypass the SIL, I suspect you have seen this type of behavior before. But I might consider talking to the reciepents that your gift was meant for. If they really didn't like it, you could apologize and just ask if they might like to return it, so that it could be given to some other individual who would love it, or a charity. That is a lot of work, it shouldn't just go to the back of a closet or worse the trash. I wouldn't hold it against your husband either, he probably has had a life time of dealing with this type of behavior with his sister. Defend yourself my rising above SIL's meaness, and don't retaliate, it will only hurt you more. (been there, done that) Hope this pain passes soon.


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## B.F.MUM (Apr 2, 2012)

How sad and ungrateful and what a rude nasty woman. You however behaved with grace and dignity. WELL DONE YOU. not sure I could have stayed.

I disagree with those that say you should get your husband to speak to her, or even speak to her about it yourself. She may have been well aware of you standing close by and may have wanted to deliberately hurt you out of jealousy or spite.

I would not give her the satisfaction of knowing you are wounded, but just avoid her as much as possible in future.

All you KP friends are outraged on you behalf and she is maybe getting a feeling of thousand daggers prodding her.


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## bpj (Oct 14, 2011)

Your Sister in law should be kicked in her rear end. How rude can a person be. She is not worth you getting upset over, and I would sure give her plenty of room. She is sick, or just plain mean.


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## purplemamajj (Apr 29, 2011)

Ouch! I would have gotten them out and said goodbye!


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## Augusta (Nov 26, 2011)

That was just mean-spirited. SIL has no class. You were lovely just to knit up something at her request.

It is unfortunate that you'll be "too busy" to EVER knit for her again!


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## grandmaof7 (Feb 6, 2011)

I would have gone over to the trash bag, taken the blanket out right there in front of them, folded it nicely and walked out the door. Nothing needed to be said, your actions said it all.


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## momanna (Nov 12, 2011)

Please remember, you will carry this with you forever. It will not help your well being at all. Your SIL will get the karma she puts out back at her eventually. My prescription for the day? Take 2 Prozac and call me in the morning.

All kidding aside, while this particular thing has not happened to me, I too have had problems with in-laws. Smile and nod, bite your tongue and stay a foot away.


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## momeee (Mar 22, 2011)

SO sorry you had such an unpleasant experience. I agree with all those who commented on your sister-in-law's rudeness and ignorance. I would do two additional things... tell the recipient that you 'heard' that your sister-in-law, who requested the items, "wasn't happy with the results". Then tell her that if that is true, you would be happy to donate them to a charity. 

I would also have a similar conversation with the rude one, telling her that you were disappointed that she was dissatisfied with your work and if the recipient also felt the same way you'd like the items donated. 
In this way you've called her on her rudeness without saying many of the things you'd like to say and she'll know that somehow someone else noticed her rudeness. And... she cannot accuse you of attacking her to your hubby - something he should have addressed.


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## Sailgurl (Oct 1, 2011)

The most difficult part of this is the fact that you can't remove this rude and cruel person from your family. As I've gotten older, I've come to realize that when someome in my family deeply hurts me, I do let them know that what they said or did was not acceptable. If I don'tstand up for myself, then I just keep thinking abput what happened and it just eats away at me. If I address the rude and cruel person, at least I can put it behind me and let it go. One of my brothers has been married to FOUR mentally unstable women so I've had a lot of experience with this type of behavior. I think you need to talk to your SIL.


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## joyceannellen (Oct 22, 2011)

motherdawg said:


> One cannot pick their relatives........but they can pick who they knit for.


I have learned this the hard way. I used to knit a purse for my niece evey year for Christmas. One was made with wool fingering weight yarn (koigu) and 750 beads put on individually as I knitted. It ended up in a storage shed never to be seen. No more hand knitted purses for her!


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## jonibee (Nov 3, 2011)

Somewhere down the line this is going to happen again if it is allowed..she the sister-in-law is taking privileges of being rude. If the writer allows it to go on it will..what about family gatherings..how will this be handled by not attending.. one will be asked why..I think this type of behavior should be "nipped" in the bud, or suffer in silence.


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## meadow123 (Mar 6, 2012)

What a shame,that must have been awful for you,i aggree that i would knit her a muzzle and put her on a 2foot chain in a dog kennel so she wont be able to bark her jealous remarks to anyone else.what a nasty piece of work,your best to keep away from the likes of her.


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## wannabear (Mar 13, 2011)

Courier and Knitting Mama, my heart hurts for both of you this morning. Everybody here is 100% on your sides.

Knitting Mama, I'm shocked. That was evil behavior, and I agree with a few others who say that woman needs medical help.

Courier, you know that many, many prayers are going up for that baby. Stay strong.


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## Kissnntell (Jan 14, 2012)

make that TWO muzzles!! my lil sis is in the doghouse w/the whole fam damily cue 2 her ever-luvin trap!!



Nanny Mon said:


> realsilvergirl said:
> 
> 
> > Knit her a muzzle....
> ...


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## ptspraker (Apr 13, 2012)

How rude!!! Sometimes your own family can hurt your feelings the most. She ask you to make it and then proceeded to hurt your feelings like that is unspeakable. She would not get anything else from me. You know the saying goes something like this "let someone hurt you once, shame on them, hurt you twice, shame on you."


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## 2xnonna (Mar 11, 2012)

Ditto to all of the above...totally rude!


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## rjla (Nov 8, 2011)

Well what a disgusting thing to do to you. I am absolutely astounded! 
As I see it, your sister in-law has this young mother round her little finger, and the mother is happy to go along with this rot, because sister in-law has convinced her with a negative assumption about you. maybe sister in law has very few friends because she is a liar and is jealous of you and your beautiful knitting. She is not worth knowing. I would go visit the mum and ask her if she liked the lay-out. If she is it means SHE likes your work and cleverness. Sister in-law has a huge problem and I would stand clear of her now. But remember this; sister in law has shown her true colours and most likely has tried these tactics on other friends who were late in waking up to her. Keep on knitting the beautiful pieces you do and share some photographs with us KP readers.


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## gina (Jan 18, 2011)

Not only is this person unspeakably rude, but who does she think she is to tell the parents what to do with a gift? And why was she presenting your gift?

Hopefully, the parents will send you an appreciative Thank You card. Your shawl is beautiful.

"Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit." from Desiderata


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## Juleen (Jun 3, 2011)

I think your SIL is related to mine! One summer, trying to be friendly, I asked her if she'd like to meet for lunch. (Hubby and I are both teachers and don't make a lot of money. They have a whole lot more than we do). She looked me in the eye and said, "I live on a different social level than you do. I wouldn't be seen with you!". Never knitted anything for her!!!!!


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## Farmer (Aug 2, 2011)

I would have called my husband, and said, please come and get me. When he asked me why, I would have told him.


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## me2memeinVT (Mar 5, 2011)

I think you need to confront her and ask her what about the projects she didn't like and remind her that she asked YOU to make this. I am not Dr Phil but confrontation might be the answer since your husband does not want to get involved.Still hold your head high and continue to knit but give the gift from you to the recipient.


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## LittleKid (Nov 17, 2011)

This was a terrible thing to happen. I have two thoughts 
(l) Is she in some way upset with you and trying to upset and hurt you?
(2) She and the mom-to-be may not be on good terms and she was saying even so,here is beautiful gift for you child. Thinking that the mom is mean enough to trash it, just to be hurtful.
Either way I'd never make anything for her again!!!
So Sorry for your hurt. The old saying is: There is aways one in the crowd. She is it !!!!


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## fibernut (Jun 5, 2011)

Always remember, some people gain their power and boost their own egos from purposely hurting others...this is not a reflection of your work, it is a reflection of their own lack of class...learn from the hurt and I would totally never respond to her wishes again, family or not. You are worth more respect than that! hug yourself and remember every family has the creeps in them!! haha.


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## nitrpat (Apr 1, 2011)

I just don't understand why people need to be so cruel. Don't be upset - just say a little prayer for her, and hope that she won't be so insensitive in the future.


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## BEChristianson (Dec 7, 2011)

I hope that when all is said and done, that Knitting Mama, you will give us an update. Also Courier, How is your grandson? All of us are praying for you and your family. Flooding the heavens for prayers of healing. I'm praying for healing for you too Knitting Mama. God Bless both of you.


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## milmaemacek (May 23, 2011)

It's a shame...all that work and sincerity and you get such a rude response. I like the muzzle suggestion. 
I'm guessing (and hoping) most of you get lovely positive reactions like the ones I get from my family when you give someone a "one of a kind" knitted piece. When I recently visited my TX family, I brought a specially selected washcloth for each lady....wine goblets for sister, butterfly for niece, bikini for another niece, etc. Believe me, they weren't perfect as I'm a fairly new knitter but you would have thought I gave them $100 bills as their reactions and thanks were beautiful!


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## debch (Apr 18, 2011)

She was very rude! I would find it hard to knit for her ever again. I'll bet the new parents appreciated your gifts.


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## bizzyknitter (May 10, 2011)

realsilvergirl said:


> Knit her a muzzle....


I love this one! :thumbup:


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## bizzyknitter (May 10, 2011)

This is why I only knit for my granddaughters, anyone else I tell them to go to youtube.


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## Kimbojos (Oct 27, 2011)

Hi Knitting Mama - I just had to reply to your post. Your sister in law sounds like a real small-minded, self important type of person and I really know how you were feeling at that moment as I have in laws just like her. You are a creative, talented person and she will never get that - how sad. Keep up the good work darling and never share it with her again.


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

momeee said:


> SO sorry you had such an unpleasant experience. I agree with all those who commented on your sister-in-law's rudeness and ignorance. I would do two additional things... tell the recipient that you 'heard' that your sister-in-law, who requested the items, "wasn't happy with the results". Then tell her that if that is true, you would be happy to donate them to a charity.
> 
> I would also have a similar conversation with the rude one, telling her that you were disappointed that she was dissatisfied with your work and if the recipient also felt the same way you'd like the items donated.
> 
> In this way you've called her on her rudeness without saying many of the things you'd like to say and she'll know that somehow someone else noticed her rudeness. And... she cannot accuse you of attacking her to your hubby - something he should have addressed.


Good idea.


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## janicebell (Mar 25, 2012)

So sorry to hear about this. She asked you to make it!!! For myself I would talk to her and let her know I had overheard what she said . Ask why she said it and let her know not to ask to have anything made for her again. Of course it would probably open a whole new can of worms. I'm not advising anyone else to do this, I just don't like rudeness or cruelty and at this point in my life I don't put up with it.

I do like the muzzle idea though!!!

Janice in MA


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## ICE (May 4, 2011)

knitting_mama said:


> I went to a baby shower last week, 7th of April. Prior to going my sister-in-law asked me to make a baby outfit, booties an a blanket to fit a bassinet for a baby boy . I got them done the day of the event. She took it into the place where it was, showed it to the expectant parents, then, said, "just accept this an when you get home trash it." She wadded it up an threw it in what looked like a bag for the plastic dinnerware that had been used. I know she said an did this as I was standing 6 ft. away from her. I felt miserable the rest of the event, no one saw it!! I stayed for the two hours then, called my husband to come get me. It never really hit home till the next day an I cried my eyes out cause I take great pride in making things for newborns. I haven't spoken to her since.....my husband's on his own cause it's his sister! I refuse to do ANYTHING FOR HER!


If you can, ignore it! I know it is not easy, after the love, time, effort, money that went into making a hand item. Had a similar, although different experience with my daughter in law and son. Knitted all 3 children a baby blanket in 100% cashmere (that was the "preferred" yarn chosen!) plus a nice pale pink wrap in the same yarn for my daughter in law that she used to cover herself feeding the baby. I gave Kookaburra Wash, instructions as to care, and, offered if she had no time, I would take care of the laundering. . Rarely saw the blankets nor the wrap. The blankets were only to be used at bed time and the wrap upstairs where she fed the baby. I do not see a problem with that.
However recently when babysitting I saw all 4 items stuffed in a bag with baby doll clothes. All 3 blankets and wrap were felted into grubby little pieces! I am not ashamed to say I cried!
After my cry I set it aside and "blamed" it on her ignorance!


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## Pudgypooh (May 31, 2011)

I this SIL normally so rude? What a horrible, and sad person she must be!


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## Linda-Gail (Sep 25, 2011)

How terrible! It seems now that baby showers and/or bridal showers have morphed from casual parties with close friends to legalized extortion from everyone the bride/mother to be ever met. I had a similar experience to yours, but, admittedly not nearly as bad. At the wedding reception of a close relative's son, I retrieved the cork from their champagne wedding toast, took it home, beautifully decorated it as a Christmas ornament for their first Christmas tree together. I never received any kind of thank you or acknowledgement from the bride. Please accept my hug for such a horrible experience. It seems that the ill mannered children of the '60s have all grown up and have monsters of their own.


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## Dowager (Jun 7, 2011)

well, at least you know that she used them! Apparently well!


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## DianaM (Mar 30, 2011)

As dreadful as her behavior was, let's hope the parents-to-be rescued the items from the trash bag. A quick wash and they'd be as good as new.


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## Kissnntell (Jan 14, 2012)

yup. knit her just one more thing. when she ask's what it is, tell her.

THE MUZZLE (as gloriously sugessetd b4!!)

then, smile & walk away

good'a GOTCHA as ever there was 1!! lol


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## rabuckler (Mar 19, 2011)

I would be hurt too! That was soooo rude!


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## gypsie (May 28, 2011)

There is just no explaining the behavior of some people I myself prefer the company of animals to most humans. However if you pay close attention you will see that even some animals have a mean streak in them....therefore you should avoid them!


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## Kelly2011 (Nov 24, 2011)

I realize that I can be pretty cynical, but when someone starts a thread with an emotional, outlandish story (that I wish I could check out on Snopes!) then disappears and never responds to 15 pages of comments without ever once responding, I wonder if the compassionate, sympathetic people on this site are are being jerked around. Seriously! FIFTEEN pages of comments and not ONE response from the original poster. This is the 2nd thread this week were this has happened, although the first one never got to 15 pages before I cried BULL$&@%! When I questioned it on the first thread, the original poster STILL never came back on to clarify anything, even though others and myself had asked a million questions. I'm still waiting several days later.

What do people do, post emotional, controversial made-up crap to get everyone in a tizzy - then sit back and watch for entertainment?!? Am I the only one here who is beginning to feel like we're being played?!? :thumbdown:


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## laurapreston2005 (Jun 12, 2011)

Recently knitted a baby blanket for a friend of my son's who sent me a picture text of the baby with her new favorite blankey-made it all worthwhile. I am sorry you had that experience. Some people never learned manners growing up.


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## Kelly2011 (Nov 24, 2011)

Kelly2011 said:


> I realize that I can be pretty cynical, but when someone starts a thread with an emotional, outlandish story (that I wish I could check out on Snopes!) then disappears and never responds to 15 pages of comments without ever once responding, I wonder if the compassionate, sympathetic people on this site are are being jerked around. Seriously! FIFTEEN pages of comments and not ONE response from the original poster. This is the 2nd thread this week were this has happened, although the first one never got to 15 pages before I cried BULL$&@%! When I questioned it on the first thread, the original poster STILL never came back on to clarify anything, even though others and myself had asked a million questions. I'm still waiting several days later.
> 
> What do people do, post emotional, controversial made-up crap to get everyone in a tizzy - then sit back and watch for entertainment?!? Am I the only one here who is beginning to feel like we're being played?!? :thumbdown:


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## susannahp (Nov 7, 2011)

Goes to show you the class of person your SIL is , she really is what I would call lower class person !!! for someone to do this to their brothers wife is considered in my books as a low life, showed her real side in what she feels about you , Ive been down that road and for your sanity STAY AWAY FROM HER!!!! No need to even talk with her of course should she ask why just tell her that you have nothing in common , and that would include hubbys part in all of this , he should have supported you , once married you are to come first not HER!! Sounds to me as though she is a trouble rouser and would not hesitate to try and come between you and your spouse....


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## salrowe (Jan 14, 2012)

I have heard of this kind of thing before. A friend made a wonderful quilt for her daugher in law. It was sent back with the message that she did not ever want to receive such a cheap, hand-made gift again and that she was insulted! Where do these people come from? Who raised them? They are to be pitied. Maybe this is why I seldom knit for others--I am usually afraid it isn't good enough, but I personally am honored to receive homemade things and seek them out at craft fairs, and else where. I am sorry that this happened to you. She would be off my list forever.


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## MaryMargaret (Mar 7, 2012)

How unbelievably, deliberately cruel!! That behavior is beyond the pale.

I would ask what your husband said except that I'm pretty sure most men would attempt to hide in "neutrality" and pretend it's just a "women's spat." 

To ask for that gift and then trash it in your presence sounds like the behavior of a psychopath.


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## Skids (Mar 11, 2012)

mojave said:


> Another thought to protect you...now that your witchy sister-in-law has shown her true colors, it is time for you to start a journal about her conduct. When she behaves inappropriately towards you, write down the location, the time, what she did, what she said and your response. Also, note the names of any witnesses to the interaction. If your husband gets involved, write down his response. Write only the facts. Don't include soggy, sobbing details on how hurt you feel.
> 
> Sooner or later, your sister-in-law is going to attempt justification of her conduct. One of her tactics will be to make you appear paranoid. When that time comes, you will be able to calmly and dispassionately refute her allegations because you recorded each incident in your journal.


I like this idea...can't argue with facts, dates and times. Right now I'm busy looking for a knitted muzzle pattern... :x


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## Juleen (Jun 3, 2011)

Well, if we are being played, I guess that shows which of us are warm and caring and which aren't?


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## gatto566 (Apr 15, 2012)

I am so sorry that it happened to you. The same thing happened to me a couple of years ago. A friend of mine little boy did have a winter had so i quickly knitted a hat for him only to find out that she didn't like it and threw it in the trash. Needless to say, I never knitted a thing for her again.


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## Sewbizgirl (May 11, 2011)

If it was mine and I saw it wadded up and put in a trash bag, I wouldn't have been able to leave it there. I would have retrieved it, and called my husband to come get me right away. At least the blanket and baby set wouldn't be wasted, along with the relationship...

If it's not too late, call the mother-to-be and tell her you made the outfit and heard the comment. Ask her if she likes it, or if you could have it back to give to someone else if she doesn't...

I would have to try to get my work back, if it were me.


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## EZ2 (Aug 11, 2011)

OMG! WTH? How very rude and insensitive. I am so sorry this happened to you. Some people can be so unfeeling.


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## Kissnntell (Jan 14, 2012)

i now record EVERYTHING from my bioch-no-class lil sis, including a tape recorder by the phone. even tho she's been told *i never want 2 c or hear from u again. under NO circumstances* she keeps on harassing me. due time, lil girl, due time!!

just remember, what goes around DOES come around!!



Skids said:


> mojave said:
> 
> 
> > Another thought to protect you...now that your witchy sister-in-law has shown her true colors, it is time for you to start a journal about her conduct. When she behaves inappropriately towards you, write down the location, the time, what she did, what she said and your response. Also, note the names of any witnesses to the interaction. If your husband gets involved, write down his response. Write only the facts. Don't include soggy, sobbing details on how hurt you feel.
> ...


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## Nana5 (Aug 17, 2011)

LOVE it!! Humor helps in any situation......thanks for using it here! Made a great point too! I always feel sorry for people that have no concern for other people's feelings, they are "missing" something inside.......hugs


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## gypsie (May 28, 2011)

Kelly2011 said:


> I realize that I can be pretty cynical, but when someone starts a thread with an emotional, outlandish story (that I wish I could check out on Snopes!) then disappears and never responds to 15 pages of comments without ever once responding, I wonder if the compassionate, sympathetic people on this site are are being jerked around. Seriously! FIFTEEN pages of comments and not ONE response from the original poster. This is the 2nd thread this week were this has happened, although the first one never got to 15 pages before I cried BULL$&@%! When I questioned it on the first thread, the original poster STILL never came back on to clarify anything, even though others and myself had asked a million questions. I'm still waiting several days later.
> 
> What do people do, post emotional, controversial made-up crap to get everyone in a tizzy - then sit back and watch for entertainment?!? Am I the only one here who is beginning to feel like we're being played?!? :thumbdown:


Well Kelly, you could be right. One just never knows. If what you are suggesting is true then the author of this post is as ratty as her story. But since I don't know if the story is true or not, I really don't care either, I will stick with the company of animals as opposed to most humans. I choose my friends and acquaintances wisely these days after learning the hard way! Happy Knitting


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## lindakaren12 (Dec 16, 2011)

WOW!!!! Stay away from her. She is the one with major problems....don't let then become yours. To have friends, you must be one and she will soon find she's alone. The person to whom the gift was given will remember her actions.


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## EZ2 (Aug 11, 2011)

courier770 said:


> You know, last week I was complaining about a baby shower..NOW I'm praying to God that my grandson will survive!
> 
> We've gotten some very bad news, are praying like crazy and just hoping this baby will make it.
> 
> ...


Praying for you all.


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## bcolliemom (Jul 12, 2011)

You can't choose family, but thank God you can choose your friends. All I can say is Karma! It will bite her in the arse one of these days. Hopefully so you can see it! Keep your chin up!


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## kneonknitter (Feb 10, 2011)

knitting_mama said:


> I went to a baby shower last week, 7th of April. Prior to going my sister-in-law asked me to make a baby outfit, booties an a blanket to fit a bassinet for a baby boy . I got them done the day of the event. She took it into the place where it was, showed it to the expectant parents, then, said, "just accept this an when you get home trash it." She wadded it up an threw it in what looked like a bag for the plastic dinnerware that had been used. I know she said an did this as I was standing 6 ft. away from her. I felt miserable the rest of the event, no one saw it!! I stayed for the two hours then, called my husband to come get me. It never really hit home till the next day an I cried my eyes out cause I take great pride in making things for newborns. I haven't spoken to her since.....my husband's on his own cause it's his sister! I refuse to do ANYTHING FOR HER!


How incredibly rude, callous & insenstive. It must be the New Yorker in me that makes me tell you that I would have said something to her right then & there about how she requested the items & it must have been because she was too cheap to go out & buy something for the baby.


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## Nana5 (Aug 17, 2011)

Never thought about it that way Kelly2011, guess I am pretty gullible and take people for granted as being honest.
Would be interested to find out..........?


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## gmcmullen (Dec 29, 2011)

I'm so sorry this happened to you. I would have a few choice words for that b**** of a SIL. Talk about rude and ungrateful. Arghhh!


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## tbforest (Feb 25, 2012)

Just saw a previous post that this may be a troll (made up situation) I doubt it as the poster has had several posts and started a few topcs. There are people in the world like your SIL unfortunately. Anyway, this is Horrible! She Set you up! It wasn't just rude and insensitive, it was calculating. I'd contact the recipients, let them know what you heard and offer to "exchange" the gift if they truly don't like it. Then give them a very small, nice but inexpensive gift. If nothing lessyou do get it back you could donate it or give it to someone who would appreciate it. Rude I know but your SIL's actions are so far past an Emily Post type response!


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## LoriRuth (Apr 14, 2012)

I am sorry you had that kind of response to something you spent so much time and love on.

I had whittled hearts with names of husband and wife with the wedding date on them last summer..there was 4 weddings last summer. 2 I got wonderful thank you letters from and 2 I got no response whats so ever. I didn't go to the weddings, they were in MN and I live in FL and am chemically sensitive so couldn't have gone no matter where I lived.

I pray when I make these gifts, showering God's blessings and watchful eye over them.

Now one of the no response couple is having a baby and I am afraid to make anything. It is either I make something for them or I don't send anything...I have in plan an owl bib and a soaker. I picked the soaker because it is something I just learned about and thought it would be fun to make and pass on some knowledge of it. The yarn I ordered for the 2 babies coming just arrived so guess I will make and decide latter. Have been debating asking my sister about it since it is her 2 kids that never said anything and see if she thinks they would like a crocheted gift.


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## SEA (Feb 9, 2011)

I would not be able to resit saying something and request the outfit back.

Life is too short to harbor feeling without some satisfaction.

That woman crossed a line. Who cares if she is a relative.

Can hardly wait to hear what the thank you note says.

SEA


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## AmyKnits (Aug 20, 2011)

I am so sorry this happened to you. To THINK that she asked you to make the items and then trashed them in front of you.... only proves SHE has issues. I am quite sure she is jealous of your knitting talents and probably more. I hope it makes you feel a tiny bit better knowing that she did it out of pure jealousy. I am hoping the new Mom has better taste and appreciates your skill. I try to be very careful to spend my time knitting for only those who really appreciate it. You couldn't have known in this case. So sorry.


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## LuvmyDoxies (Jan 18, 2012)

OMG!!!!!! I think I would approach your sister-in-law and ask her why she didn't like what you made per her request. Let her speak, thank her for the input, and then turn around and walk away with nothing more said. At least she will know why you are upset. That's what I would do since I can't just let something like what she did just be done with. It would literally make me sick. I can't believe it!!!!!!!


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## 34652 (Sep 5, 2011)

Sorry to say that it sounds like your sister-in-law has some deep problems!

Rise above her!


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## HappieGram (Oct 31, 2011)

I am so sorry this happened to you!! Only a very disturbed person could be so mindless to treat you that way. Too bad she can't read these responses. But then again, it is never the sociopath's problem. 

Just know that she's the one with the problem and you did a fine job on the project. You certainly exercised self-control -- I would have waited fir a moment alone with her and give her a piece of my mind. You handled it well.


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## CamillaDesertMouse (Mar 19, 2011)

Well if this dosen't just burn my behind up...I can feel for you as well...she definately has issues...mainly control and jealousy!
A few years ago...before we lost mama Nelson...my hubbys mother..she had a major stroke and had to be put in nursing care. A few years before that I crocheted her a bedsize ripple afghan in single crochet..in multiple (6) colors of blue..I had a ton of ends to work in....took forever due to the size...she was always telling us..she was cold..she loved it..fast forward we went to visit her in nursing care...I asked hubbys brother to bring her afghan as she loved it so much...to which I was told...oh that dirty thing? I just trashed it...I was crushed but my hubby was LIVID...he proceeded to tell him what a jerk he was ..asked him if he had any idea how long that took my wife to make etc...

This is my opinion...YOUR hubby is NOT in the middle..what his sister did was mean and cruel and it is HIS responsibility to tell her that..set her straight..and tell her she has NO right to treat his wife like that..PERIOD.


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## GANDY (Oct 27, 2011)

YEAH, BY ALL MEANS, MAKE AND DECIDE ABOUT TWENTY YEARS LATER o)}.

GANDY


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## sibergirl (May 4, 2011)

Outrageous rudeness. I think it's best that we make gifts for ourselves to give and decline the requests of relatives and friends. Let them make/buy their own gifts.


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## NJG (Dec 2, 2011)

mojave said:


> courier770 said:
> 
> 
> > mojave, you are much too kind. Me, I'd paste a photo of her on a dartboard and get my frustrations out that way...then nicely put the photo in a frame, holes and all and display it in my home!
> ...


I agree, write it all down exactly as it happened. I have been telling a friend of mine to do this at her place of work where she is having problems with one certain person. Keep track of dates and times and what was said. Someday this person will ask you to make something for her again and then you can say no and this is why and let her read it.


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## yorkie1 (Sep 5, 2011)

I wouldn't have stayed the two hours. I would have immediatly called my husband to come get me. :-( You handeled it really great. Kudos for you. 
Just keep knitting for those who appreciate your lovely work. 
I can't imagine anyone would do something like that, right in front of you. She must be a very insecure person. !!!


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## julietinboots (Feb 19, 2011)

I really can't even wrap my mind around that. I don't acknowledge mean spirited people. Why would she ask? Why would the expectant mother not deny her the request to hide it? That upsets me. I'm sorry you experienced this.


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## Isis (Mar 24, 2011)

I'm speechless, sorry you had to go through this.


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## emma2u (Nov 11, 2011)

Your SIL has a serious problem. Please try not to make it your own. Your husband should definitely speak to his sister. Take care.


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## Isis (Mar 24, 2011)

courier770 said:


> You know, last week I was complaining about a baby shower..NOW I'm praying to God that my grandson will survive!
> 
> We've gotten some very bad news, are praying like crazy and just hoping this baby will make it.
> 
> ...


So sorry to hear about your grandson sending you ((hugs))


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## pprose (Jan 24, 2012)

Something like that happened to me many years ago. I had made a baby blanket and I heard the Grandmother say it was the cheap way out. I don't give my work as gifts unless someone has admired it.


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## callmechicken (Oct 21, 2011)

how come you didn't confront her? at least ask her why she asked you to make the items only to trash them like that. you need to find out her motivation for her behavior.


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## betsy10904 (Sep 15, 2011)

realsilvergirl said:


> Knit her a muzzle....


Do you have a pattern for that??? I could certainly use one for certain members of my family.

So sorry you were treated so rudely.


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## boncamp (Mar 11, 2011)

realsilvergirl said:


> Knit her a muzzle....


Yeah, that's the spirit!


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## loopingrope (Nov 18, 2011)

Knitting mama, thats called passive agresive behavior, she has no doubt a lot of anger issues at you, could be anything but I would give her a run for her money, treat her the same way she does you and butter up to others your husband and other relatives. She'll blow and others can see her for what shes worth.


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## craftymatt2 (Sep 15, 2011)

Tennessee.Gal said:


> Perhaps her perspective would change if you ducked her head in the toilet! No way would I have handled it as nicely as you did (staying 2 hours and saying nothing).
> 
> When my daughter was born 28 years ago, my SIL (husband's sister) made her a beautiful crib-size quilt. I loved it and used it until my daughter moved to a "big girl" bed. At that point, I put it carefully away to give her when she was grown. It is now one of her prized possessions. I would have been so pleased had anyone knitted such items as you describe for my daughter.


I like what you said about dunking her head in the toliet. lol


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## denisejh (May 20, 2011)

Knitting Mama-After reading what your sister-in-law did I can only assume that she suffers from some kind of mental illness. Only someone mentally sick could be that cruel and ugly. Please don't let her actions and words ruin knitting for you. I can only imagine how many people have received knit gifts made by you and have been thrilled with them. How much would you like to bet the recipients of the set you made took everything home and kept it? I don't know anyone who would receive a handknit for a baby and just toss it away (well, except for your sister-in-law and thanks to above I don't know her!!!). I'm so sorry her actions hurt you so badly. I don't blame you for feeling the way you do. Just consider the source and don't do anything else for her. Don't allow her to put you in that position again.


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## MaineSqueeze (Feb 23, 2012)

I am horrified by this SIL. I have to thank you for your story. Now I'll know what to do if it ever happens to me!
I hope I have the guts to stride by SIL and pluck it right out of the trash.( I noticed you didn't say she had even given the recipient time to say she wanted it or not.) And then say I appoligize ( I am NOT sorry!) That SIL made a mistake in thinking you would want this hand crafted gift. I'll take it and give it to someone who will love it, and depending on how much I liked the person, I'd stay and make nice, or leave. I'd definitely talk to my husband about SIL, and let him no she isn't welcome here anymore, and avoid her. I agree with the others her, to keep a record of all incidents.
PS. I am such a new knitter, that it takes me much longer, so I'd really have been angry! Glad you kept your cool. Don't ever let SIL see you upset. Be better than she is, and 'kill her with kindness, is also a good way to go, you'll feel better and she won't understand why her meaness doesn't work. I realize I have said somethings that may sound conflicting. It really depends on so many variables. You decide how to handle it.
Hugs to you!


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## craftymatt2 (Sep 15, 2011)

What a thoughtless hateful person, i hope her daughter didn't feel the same way, you need to find out, then let your SIL have a good piece of whip a--, i had a person do this to me, and i took back the gift and boy did they get a mouthful in front of everyone, I made her look like an a-- and she never got invited to another shower or weddings or anything.
I feel so bad for you, do you want me to have a go at her?? lol, just let me know

I hope you can say something to her and get it off your chest, otherwise it will eat at you and you don't need that.


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## westwood (Dec 9, 2011)

I agree, I would certainly have my feelings hurt. But, I don't think it's worth starting a family feud over. Just tuck this bit of information about your sister-in-law in the back of your mind and you'll remember it the next time she asks you for something.


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## bakrmom (May 30, 2011)

LittleKid said:


> This was a terrible thing to happen. I have two thoughts
> (l) Is she in some way upset with you and trying to upset and hurt you?
> (2) She and the mom-to-be may not be on good terms and she was saying even so,here is beautiful gift for you child. Thinking that the mom is mean enough to trash it, just to be hurtful.
> Either way I'd never make anything for her again!!!
> So Sorry for your hurt. The old saying is: There is aways one in the crowd. She is it !!!!


I think you may be on to something here. The way i read it SIL asked knitting-mama to make a gift that she(SIL) could give mom to be. I suspect the snide remark was diected at mom to be. Either way, it was still a nasty comment to make.


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

ICE said:


> knitting_mama said:
> 
> 
> > I went to a baby shower last week, 7th of April. Prior to going my sister-in-law asked me to make a baby outfit, booties an a blanket to fit a bassinet for a baby boy . I got them done the day of the event. She took it into the place where it was, showed it to the expectant parents, then, said, "just accept this an when you get home trash it." She wadded it up an threw it in what looked like a bag for the plastic dinnerware that had been used. I know she said an did this as I was standing 6 ft. away from her. I felt miserable the rest of the event, no one saw it!! I stayed for the two hours then, called my husband to come get me. It never really hit home till the next day an I cried my eyes out cause I take great pride in making things for newborns. I haven't spoken to her since.....my husband's on his own cause it's his sister! I refuse to do ANYTHING FOR HER!
> ...


You are a wise woman.


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## Gwen Webster (Nov 1, 2011)

I would have plucked it out of the bag, asked the person it was intended for if "she wanted to keep the hand made with love gift" if she was iffy, I would have smiled, taken it home, and given it to anyone who appreciated hard work and the love that goes into something like this. I had someone destroy a Christmas gift of a 4foot wreath I made for their garage door. She hung it in the living room, had people rave about it over the holidays and instead of asking if it could be stored (It could) She tossed. it.!! Not only was it expensive to make, it took days to assemble and a lot of love and care as well. It hurts, but I have never made another thing for her. We are still friends but it is always in the back of my mind.
Sorry for your sick treatment - been there done that and never wore the Tshirt.


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## jlschulke (Mar 19, 2011)

Grandma Jan said:


> It wasn't rude; it was cruel. Her intention was to hurt. I wouldn't have anything more to do with her. She's let you know who she is and where she stands.
> 
> And I would contact the recipient to find out how she felt about that incident. It could be that she was thrilled with your gift.


I agree. It was CRUEL. Never have anything to do with her from now on out. And don't cook for your husband till he apologizes. 
And see if the recipient wants to return your gift to you, and receive NOTHING.
Okay? Remember, God loves you.


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## dinahflo (Nov 28, 2011)

I am wondering if it was somethIng between the two of them and your knitting got caught in the middle .....she must like your knitting because she asked you to make something.


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## Cheryl Jaeger (Oct 25, 2011)

That is just Plain Cruel . You might plan to give her a BiG Bag of Coal this coming Christmas! :hunf:


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## fayzee (Jan 29, 2011)

knitting_mama said:


> I went to a baby shower last week, 7th of April. Prior to going my sister-in-law asked me to make a baby outfit, booties an a blanket to fit a bassinet for a baby boy . I got them done the day of the event. She took it into the place where it was, showed it to the expectant parents, then, said, "just accept this an when you get home trash it." She wadded it up an threw it in what looked like a bag for the plastic dinnerware that had been used. I know she said an did this as I was standing 6 ft. away from her. I felt miserable the rest of the event, no one saw it!! I stayed for the two hours then, called my husband to come get me. It never really hit home till the next day an I cried my eyes out cause I take great pride in making things for newborns. I haven't spoken to her since.....my husband's on his own cause it's his sister! I refuse to do ANYTHING FOR HER!


I made "Tree of Life' baby afghan (do you know how much work that is) and never recieved as uch as an oh pretty---very hurtful.


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## NJG (Dec 2, 2011)

Elenor said:


> "Has this every happened to you?" was the name of the topic and yes it did happen to me in a way.
> I "had" a "friend" who had asked me to make things for her and her gks and paid for the yarn and my time and I never heard any negative remarks until:
> I was commissioned to make a hooded sweater for her toddler grandson. When I asked how she liked it I was told that the hood was too big and her sister and her made a lot of fun out of it. I told her that was the style of the pattern and that she could return it and I'd make a smaller one. Well guess what, when I asked what she had done with it, she said she threw it away. I was shocked to say the least, and she said she "paid for it and she could do whatever she wanted to with it!" She had the nerve to say that even the woman who housecleans for her didn't want it.
> Well needless to say, I was really taken-a-back by her crazy remarks and everyone I know thinks she was out of her mind for doing and saying what she did.
> ...


I HAD a friend like that too. Every time we got together or I called her, she would always end by saying call me and I always did because we were friends, right? Then after one time I called her I decided I would wait for her to call me and of course she never did so we didn't have contact for over 5 months. At that time it was Christmas and I sent her a card with me new address and phone # since I had moved and also about a lot of positive changes in my life, thinking she would call now!!! But no, she never called so that was the end to our so called friendship. Saw her once after that when she was with some out of town guests and she made it sound like I was her best friend and she just missed me so much. I just blew her off and walked away. Pay backs can be lots of fun.


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## Wincelot (Dec 21, 2011)

She did you an enormous favor by removing herself from your life. My sympathies to your husband. Think how horrid growing up with her had to have been. Hope you don't consider forgiving her. Keep repeating this mantra over and over again; I am not a doormat!


knitting_mama said:


> I went to a baby shower last week, 7th of April. Prior to going my sister-in-law asked me to make a baby outfit, booties an a blanket to fit a bassinet for a baby boy . I got them done the day of the event. She took it into the place where it was, showed it to the expectant parents, then, said, "just accept this an when you get home trash it." She wadded it up an threw it in what looked like a bag for the plastic dinnerware that had been used. I know she said an did this as I was standing 6 ft. away from her. I felt miserable the rest of the event, no one saw it!! I stayed for the two hours then, called my husband to come get me. It never really hit home till the next day an I cried my eyes out cause I take great pride in making things for newborns. I haven't spoken to her since.....my husband's on his own cause it's his sister! I refuse to do ANYTHING FOR HER!


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## jbaumgart (Oct 7, 2011)

I am so sorry that this happened to you. I can't believe that someone/ anyone but especially a family member would do this to you. I hope that the expectant parents ahve a little more class than your s-i-s.


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## knitaway (Nov 12, 2011)

Ouch! How rude! 

Hopefully the recipient will look at it & see its beauty. If not, here's to hoping it will eventually make it to someone's home who does.


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## Jean 45 (Dec 7, 2011)

Jessica-Jean said:


> The nerve! Unbelievable! Unspeakable behaviour!


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## joyceannellen (Oct 22, 2011)

Kelly2011 said:


> I realize that I can be pretty cynical, but when someone starts a thread with an emotional, outlandish story (that I wish I could check out on Snopes!) then disappears and never responds to 15 pages of comments without ever once responding, I wonder if the compassionate, sympathetic people on this site are are being jerked around. Seriously! FIFTEEN pages of comments and not ONE response from the original poster. This is the 2nd thread this week were this has happened, although the first one never got to 15 pages before I cried BULL$&@%! When I questioned it on the first thread, the original poster STILL never came back on to clarify anything, even though others and myself had asked a million questions. I'm still waiting several days later.
> 
> What do people do, post emotional, controversial made-up crap to get everyone in a tizzy - then sit back and watch for entertainment?!? Am I the only one here who is beginning to feel like we're being played?!? :thumbdown:


Kelly, I too am cautious but Knitting Momma has only started 6 topics since being a member over a year. She started this topic only yesterday, Saturday, and may not have gotten back on her computer to see all the responses. I think the large number of responses is due to so many of us spending hours making special hand made gifts that have not been appreciated. Im glad to know that I am not alone with having my feelings hurt by family and friends that don't appreciate the hours I've spent making them something special.


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## jmko (Dec 29, 2011)

I feel for you! That's the way my mother treated me! If it was something I knit, cooked or anything! I know how it hurts! Now when asked to make something , say you "only make to donate to those who need and appreciate my hard work." If you need to give a gift to Miss Ungrateful, get a book on manners-like Emily Post for every birthday, Christmas gift or whatever. Sorry you have such a rude relative.


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## Cay (Aug 11, 2011)

I seldom make for other people other than family but some of my family has lost their pens and never write thank yous, i don't know why they say they like the things I make them. My favorite things to make is for charity is for charity, homeless, shelters etc, from them I don't expect thank yous or any response, but I get the joy of knowing they are keeping someone warm or knowing someone cared enough to make something for them. I've done charity for over 12 years, it started in ernest as a way for me to ease the grief I had/have of loosing my dd when she was murdered.
It's a wonderful way to help with grief.


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## jbaumgart (Oct 7, 2011)

Kelly2011, you've got me thinking now...I hope that we aren't being played. I thought we were adults....


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## flmgsun (Jul 12, 2011)

With so many pages of replies I don't know if anyone suggested going to the mother-to-be and asking if she really did not like it to return it to you as you have a charity that you could donate it to in your sister-in-law's name so that way she gets a thank you from them. She is the rudest I have ever heard of and I have seen and heard many!


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## jejazzington (Dec 8, 2011)

realsilvergirl said:


> Knit her a muzzle....


AMEN


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## lilita (Mar 16, 2011)

Poor thing your sister in law !


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## jejazzington (Dec 8, 2011)

Grandma Jan said:


> It wasn't rude; it was cruel. Her intention was to hurt. I wouldn't have anything more to do with her. She's let you know who she is and where she stands.
> 
> And I would contact the recipient to find out how she felt about that incident. It could be that she was thrilled with your gift.


I agree. 
And husband should figure out what to say to sister.
Blister that Sister !!!


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## jejazzington (Dec 8, 2011)

courier770 said:


> mojave, you are much too kind. Me, I'd paste a photo of her on a dartboard and get my frustrations out that way...then nicely put the photo in a frame, holes and all and display it in my home!


Love it !!


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## Sugar and Spice's Mom (Aug 2, 2011)

That's exactly what she should do, DEFINITELY knit her a muzzle. Too funny!!!


realsilvergirl said:


> Knit her a muzzle....


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## knitaway (Nov 12, 2011)

Kelly, 
I'm pretty cynical too, but no one here has to "play." It's all free will.
It' about making connections.


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## Sugar and Spice's Mom (Aug 2, 2011)

Should you receive one, it'll be interesting to see what her "thank you" note says.


knitting_mama said:


> I went to a baby shower last week, 7th of April. Prior to going my sister-in-law asked me to make a baby outfit, booties an a blanket to fit a bassinet for a baby boy . I got them done the day of the event. She took it into the place where it was, showed it to the expectant parents, then, said, "just accept this an when you get home trash it." She wadded it up an threw it in what looked like a bag for the plastic dinnerware that had been used. I know she said an did this as I was standing 6 ft. away from her. I felt miserable the rest of the event, no one saw it!! I stayed for the two hours then, called my husband to come get me. It never really hit home till the next day an I cried my eyes out cause I take great pride in making things for newborns. I haven't spoken to her since.....my husband's on his own cause it's his sister! I refuse to do ANYTHING FOR HER!


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## Linda-Gail (Sep 25, 2011)

A wonderful thought. I, too, have made knitted blankets for a battered womens' shelter, and enjoy the same feeling that someone is being kept warm and sheltered and, hopefully, comforted by a small effort of mine. Thanks for the reminder.


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## yorkie1 (Sep 5, 2011)

I agree, I was sucked in as so many were. It's really bad when someone just posts something just to get most of us responding. I do hope we get a reply (if this is a true post) from "Kelly2011"


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## Shirley Ray (Mar 3, 2011)

I'd very sweetly tell her you overheard the remark and since she didn't like it, you want it back. I wouldn't overdo the expanation. It will let her know you know what a rude, inconsiderate jerk she is and it will give you an opportunity to give the outfit to someone else. If she says she can't ask the recipient for it back at this point, then tell her you will call the mom an ask for it back yourself. And do it. That will also let the recipient know what kind of people they are.


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## jes1776 (Sep 10, 2011)

She is just jealous that she doesn't have the talent you do! I hope the expectant mom didn't take her advice, and the newborn will get to enjoy the heartfelt gift. But I certainly would confront your sister-in-law and ask her why she would ask you to make something, and then so rudely disrespect you.


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## Damama (Oct 2, 2011)

That is totally unforgivable! Holy crap, what a "B...H"!
Can't imagine why she would do something so horrible.
Big hugs coming your way.


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## Damama (Oct 2, 2011)

Shirley Ray said:


> I'd very sweetly tell her you overheard the remark and since she didn't like it, you want it back. I wouldn't overdo the expanation. It will let her know you know what a rude, inconsiderate jerk she is and it will give you an opportunity to give the outfit to someone else. If she says she can't ask the recipient for it back at this point, then tell her you will call the mom an ask for it back yourself. And do it. That will also let the recipient know what kind of people they are.[/quote
> 
> :thumbup:


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## lostmountains (Jul 14, 2011)

I would have gone to the garbage, taken the items out exclaiming loudly to the mom to be how lovely the items were and didn't understand why anyone would toss their own gift away, taken them home, washed them and given them to someone whom would have appreciated it or given it to charity.


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## Jan L (Sep 10, 2011)

realsilvergirl said:


> Knit her a muzzle....


LOL good suggestion!


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## texicanwife (Nov 1, 2011)

I'm so sorry that you had to go through that! But I think that anyone with half a brain would know that a handmade gift is worth so much more than money could ever buy!
I would rather receive a dozen poorly made handmade gifts than a single gift that someone bought and paid a fortune for! The handmade comes from the heart and soul of the giver! A little sweat and blood is often poured in as well!
I agree with everyone else, shame on your SIL. And know that for every one person you make something for that dislikes it, there are a dozen who would love it!
By the way, the shawl you are wearing in your avatar is truly gorgeous! So I know the baby gift was as well!
Keep doing what you do and don't let this get you down!


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## jejazzington (Dec 8, 2011)

Knitting Mama - 

She set you up.
She planned that nastiness - and she got away with it...for now.

You do need to watch out for her; she sounds as if she might be seriously disturbed. Watch your back.

We get so attached to the things we make. They carry a bit of ourselves, and we feel protective of them. 

Too bad you can't go back and "rescue" your work.
Too bad you can't go back and capture that all on your cell phone or camera.
Could go viral.

I'd might call the recipients and see if they did not want the gift.
If not, then ask for it back, and donate it where it would be appreciated.

Or... just let the items go, and NEVER make anything else for that group, unless it's a straightjacket.


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## lostmountains (Jul 14, 2011)

I would have gone to the trash and taken the items out exclaiming loudly to the mom to be how lovely the items were and that you couldn't understand why someone would toss their own gift out(not giving Mom the option to do it at home if she didn't like it)I would then take the items home, wash them and give them to somone whom would appreciate them or donate them.


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## lostmountains (Jul 14, 2011)

I


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## wendymphx (Mar 28, 2012)

I loved the muzzle idea! 
Words can be so hurtful in a way that lingers. Don't stoop to her level of etiquette; remember we can't pick our family! I also wouldn't let this pit you against your hubby, don't give her that control. 
In the future I'd be too busy to accommodate any future requests from her and I'd go straight to the gift recipient and ask them to pass along the items if they won't use them. This way they know who really put in all the loving time and effort!
I agree that if you created the piece in your avatar that your talent is supreme. I've learned to give gifts to those that can appreciate...as your S-I-L clearly doesn't. God bless and love her anyway, that'll get her goat in a way nothing else ever can!


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## Isuel (Sep 27, 2011)

Don't blame you! I made an intricate cross stitch wedding sampler for a friend 25 years ago. She had asked me to make it for her. I made it, had it professionally framed and mailed it to her. I was unable to go to the wedding since I had moved across country. I have never heard from her.


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## jobailey (Dec 22, 2011)

knitting_mama said:


> I went to a baby shower last week, 7th of April. Prior to going my sister-in-law asked me to make a baby outfit, booties an a blanket to fit a bassinet for a baby boy . I got them done the day of the event. She took it into the place where it was, showed it to the expectant parents, then, said, "just accept this an when you get home trash it." She wadded it up an threw it in what looked like a bag for the plastic dinnerware that had been used. I know she said an did this as I was standing 6 ft. away from her. I felt miserable the rest of the event, no one saw it!! I stayed for the two hours then, called my husband to come get me. It never really hit home till the next day an I cried my eyes out cause I take great pride in making things for newborns. I haven't spoken to her since.....my husband's on his own cause it's his sister! I refuse to do ANYTHING FOR HER!


As I read this my mouth fell open in disbelief and I got tears in my eyes. I can't understand how some people can be so thoughtless, mean, wicked. This is beyond rude. I'm afraid I would have to get in her face!!! If I was close to you I would get in her face for you. Having someone do something like that to you hurts to the core. I don't know how you stayed thru the shower. Well know this my friend, everyone here on this web site loves you!!!


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## Wonkiestitches (Apr 14, 2012)

I'm new to this group but thought I might weigh in.

All handmade items are created with love and best wishes for the recipient. It matters not if the person making the item is a novice or an expert. The time, planning, and caring that goes into each item is invaluable.

The act of throwing away the item coupled with the humiliating remarks show the true depth of that persons soul.

It's hard not to take it personally but I surely hope you do not allow yourself to feel badly because of the remarks and actions of a person who is not worthy of your time and talent. 

You are obviously a kind, considerate, and caring person. Your poor husband. :XD: 

You get a 2 thumbs up from me. :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## Jean Keith (Feb 17, 2011)

Ignorant witch and that was with a B. I'd feed your SIL with a long spoon in the future.

It is upsetting when so much time and feeling went into your work. One less to knit for.


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## calmlake (May 16, 2011)

Tell DH that doing business with that woman has ended, because that was a business venture. You only married him. 
By the way, he's lucky your wings carry him. The best to you.


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## Jan L (Sep 10, 2011)

If you allow this woman to cause you lingering anger and grief, only you suffer. Take a deep breath and write her off. Do not cause a riff in your husband's family. You'll be the one looking bad. Just avoid her physically and mentally. At family functions, be pleasantly cool and stay out of her area.If you need to, tell her how how much her rude comments hurt your feelings. It's a shame she's such a B****, but don't let her bring you down. Blow her off. You know you are talented. Select a new project to lift your spirits and KNIT ON!!


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## Dreamweaver (Feb 1, 2011)

SO, she asks you to knit these, then does not wrap them to be opened.... does not acknowledge that you knit them and then behaves miserably. 

Too late, but I would have walked over immediately and said something to the effect that "You asked me to do these. What seems to be the problem with them? If you weren't happy with them, you should have discussed it with me in private" I would have turned to the mom-to-be and said... "Let me take these... I'm sure SIS will be happy to replace them with something to your liking..." 

Since it is too late for that.... I would not involve husband. It isn't his fight... but, if the topic were to come up.... I sure would expect hiim to say something about her poort behavior. Instead, I would calmly call her, tell her you saw and heard what she did. Tell her you were very hurt and offended. Tell her that you think she should have handled it differently. That you have lost all respect for her and that you will no longer be taking any requests from her. I would also tell her that this subject is now finished and that, since you will be seeing each other at family functions, you intend to be civil and pleasant. However, that does not mean that you will forget this incident. Family or not, this sort of behaviour is NEVER acceptable and I would not let it go without comment....


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## Kissnntell (Jan 14, 2012)

oh nice!! i like that ... a straight jacket w/a muzzle!! lolol



jejazzington said:


> Knitting Mama -
> 
> She set you up.
> She planned that nastiness - and she got away with it...for now.
> ...


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## cyndie53 (Dec 22, 2011)

Maybe the parents of the baby have a greater appreciation for the finer things in life and will cherish your gift to their baby... as should be! It wouldn't surprise me if you receive a very gracious Thank You note! Then never do another favor for that sister-in-law!


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## leighanne1968 (Apr 10, 2011)

My heart aches for your hard work to be disrespected.


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## Thulha (Nov 10, 2011)

That was beyond just rude!!! You are really nice to not confront her on the spot. I might have smacked her! But..... what goes around comes around. She will get her "reward" for what she did one of these days.


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## vpatt (Dec 24, 2011)

That goes beyond bad manners. I would have to say something to her. Your hubbie should also. And I would have to find out what the recipient thought, too. How old is this person? You want me to come up there and take care of her? She needs a lesson in how to treat others.
hugs,
V


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

dinahflo said:


> I am wondering if it was somethIng between the two of them and your knitting got caught in the middle .....she must like your knitting because she asked you to make something.


Wow - that's an interesting thought. Worth considering.


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

jlschulke said:


> Grandma Jan said:
> 
> 
> > It wasn't rude; it was cruel. Her intention was to hurt. I wouldn't have anything more to do with her. She's let you know who she is and where she stands.
> ...


I'm not sure the husband is to blame. He obviously has a difficult sister who can be quite harsh. If he wasn't there, he couldn't very well intervene. Might be better to not punish him.


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## headvase1 (Nov 18, 2011)

What a horrible women she does not deserve you as a sister in law.


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## loopingrope (Nov 18, 2011)

Knitting mama, have thought a lot about this situation and remembered that is the way my mother and sister were about anything I made or did and I realized after many years that I couldn't satisfy them, they both were rensentful of my talents. I went back home when my sister passed and helped disposed of all her things, gave it all to charity. In her belongings found many things that I had sent to her and she never used them also found stuff I had knitted for my mom that she had never worn. I realized that they were mean spirited and was happy that I was like my dad, he was like a pup with 2 tails and everyone he met was a friend.
loopingrope


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## Augustgran (Apr 16, 2011)

I would said EXCUSE ME??taken it out told them they didn't deserve your work , of the bag they put it in , and call your husband right away, stand outside and wait to go home. 
That is inexcusable and bulls778!!!!


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## mernie (Mar 20, 2011)

I just read your post and see that there are many pages of responses! Add my disgust to those already said. I am so sorry and she is a really terrible person. As my grandkids would say: Delete her!


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## Augustgran (Apr 16, 2011)

does she have an email addy I would love to give her a piece of my mind!!This REALLY has me upset.


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## Mrs. Mac (Feb 10, 2011)

This is incredible! Cannot help asking: did you tell your DH what happened? I would so like to know what his reaction was to this behavior on his sister's part.

Good grief! You were so kind to comply with her request to make a gift, and she trashed it before your face, in front of everyone? Did she think you did not hear her words, or see her actions? Even if this is the case, what must the rest of the company think of her? Was the gift offered as being from her, or from you? I fear I would have to sever my relationship with this person indefinitely, after telling her the entire scene had been seen and heard. Maybe I would have offered her an opportunity to explain, probably not .

Why would she ask you to hand craft a gift if she did not appreciate your skill? This is very strange. It would require an impossible level of forgiveness I think to get past this event to maintain civility toward this person.

Early in my youth I learned not to cook, sew, or knit for others whom I knew would not appreciate my work. That resolution has saved me many hurt feelings, and lots of time better spent for those who do appreciate the quality of what I can do.

I am happy to say nothing like this has ever happened to me . First off, I cannot think of anyone I know who would be so presumptuous to ask for such a favor, then discard the product, as well as the personal relationship, not to mention the display of outright rude behavior to an entire party of acquaintances! I cannot even think of appropriate words to describe such a person.

Best wishes to you. 


knitting_mama said:


> I went to a baby shower last week, 7th of April. Prior to going my sister-in-law asked me to make a baby outfit, booties an a blanket to fit a bassinet for a baby boy . I got them done the day of the event. She took it into the place where it was, showed it to the expectant parents, then, said, "just accept this an when you get home trash it." She wadded it up an threw it in what looked like a bag for the plastic dinnerware that had been used. I know she said an did this as I was standing 6 ft. away from her. I felt miserable the rest of the event, no one saw it!! I stayed for the two hours then, called my husband to come get me. It never really hit home till the next day an I cried my eyes out cause I take great pride in making things for newborns. I haven't spoken to her since.....my husband's on his own cause it's his sister! I refuse to do ANYTHING FOR HER!


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## GMADRAGON2 (Apr 20, 2011)

Shame to your SIL ... BUT even MORE shame to the people who left it wadded up in a waste basket. I would call the people to whom it was intended and ask THEM what they did! If they left it there, then there are a LOT of people I would not allow into my life again ... family, or not!


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## GMADRAGON2 (Apr 20, 2011)

Sorry ..double post!


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## maggieme (Jul 25, 2011)

I'm sitting here with tears down my cheeks, not just because of your situation, but of how my own two sisters treated me all of my life. All I can say is People will hurt us only as long as we let them! HUGS!


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## Jeanie L (Sep 27, 2011)

How mean..What a awful person..I would say she is very jealous of your talent..My heart goes out to you.. I would only Knit for people who i know would appreciate it from now on..


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## ert (May 9, 2011)

jersgran said:


> welcome back, Jessica Jean. I missed you.


Ditto.


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

jbaumgart said:


> Kelly2011, you've got me thinking now...I hope that we aren't being played. I thought we were adults....


I agree with joyceannellen - the writer probably just hasn't gotten back to her computer. She probably has other responsibilities and less time than someone who is retired - like me. By the way, I thought I saw a response back toward the beginning. ?


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## loopingrope (Nov 18, 2011)

Knitting mama someone posted on here a few months ago about what she did about anger management, she called this person often and called them an a**hole. You could give a few people from different states, her name and phone number we could then call her and tell her she is an a** hole, I would love to do that for you and I bet a lot of people would do the same, besides I have free phone calls in the US. loopingrope


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## marmarcas (Apr 2, 2011)

I want to know what the mother-to-be did about that idiotic remark. I would never have another thing to do with your sister-in-law. I have one who has been so rude on severfal occasions that I COMPLETELY ignore her every chane I get. There have been a few family occasions that I have gone to simply because I want to be with some of our other relatives, but if at all possible I'll invent an excuse to miss whatever.


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## Edith M (Aug 10, 2011)

I think I would have called my husband on the spot and have him pick me up right then and there. I could not have kept up appearences and stayed for the rest of the affair. Somehow I would let the expectant mother know the gift was from me and not my poisonous SIL. Then offer her the option to return the gift or not. Chances are she will elect to keep it and thank you. I can not imagine what prompted her inexcusable behavior but I would make doubly sure she never got another chance to hurt me again. Furthermore, if Hubby did not back me up there would be a rethinking on my part of his value as a husband. JMO EDith M


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## grammyv (Feb 11, 2011)

I, too, am sorry you were so ill-treated and your generosity/creativity were so disrespected.

Is this a "one of" or has she always been so mean and rude?
If this was un-expected, ask yourself if this might be a symptom of the onset of some medical/mental health issue.

If this is part of a previous behavior pattern, know that you are well appreciated here and now. Ignore (if possible) the hurt she has inflicted. She's got more to deal with than you (or I) can correct.

Her behavior tells us more about her than reflects on you.
Hugs & prayers.


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## Rayona Hobbs (Apr 10, 2011)

Beyond rude!
Knitting Mama,
Obviously you are a caring, giving, loving person. This SIL is nothing but TRASH.
The many, many remarks made here show a compassion and appreciation for your work and you GRACE. I'm sure that I would have either gone ballistic or more likely fled in tears. The fact that you stayed and tried to by respectful of the event, shows what mettle and kindness you are made from. I, too, hope that the new parents will have the proper appreciation for you beautiful gift. 
Peace be with YOU.


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## Susiebluel (Feb 12, 2011)

What an awful thing to happen to you. I can't even offer you advice as most of what I want to say I can't say on a public forum.

I'm sending you a big hug.


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## Rayona Hobbs (Apr 10, 2011)

Jessica-Jean said:


> The nerve! Unbelievable! Unspeakable behaviour!


Nice to "see" you "back". I've been missing your wonderful, helpful comments.


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## julietremain (Jul 8, 2011)

Courier770......I'm thinking of you and your grandson.....and hoping for a favorable outcome.....hugs to you both....
julie


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## mernie (Mar 20, 2011)

I have a s-i-l in my family that is so impossible to please. I knit a lovely silk ribbon scarf for her about ten years ago. After she tried it on, she said that needed to remove it and smiled her usual s----y smile and said she couldn't wear it -- just wasn't warm enough for that 90 degree day in August! The same person remarked to another s-i-l, referring to me, said: She takes such good pictures, isn't that odd? My husband used to ask me why I would try to please her..he called her a no-talent b..... I stopped. Please don't have anything to do with this awful person. She wants to hurt you. She is awful.


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## PaulineRose (Mar 31, 2012)

Well, what an extremely ill mannered person! That was a horrrible experience and I don't wonder that you were upset but try not to dwell on it too much as it will depress you even more. I regard myself as quite a tolerant person but such rudeness I find hard to understand. Put down to ignorance, the poor creature, and yes jealousy of your lovely work. I only wish that you were MY sister-in-law.


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## donmaur (Mar 4, 2012)

some people are so cruel however you are better than that


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## patty1 (Nov 15, 2011)

Same here. I have written several things and changed my mind. I can't imagine doing anything to someone like that.


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## celiaj (Apr 7, 2011)

I second this motion of the muzzle!

CeliaJ


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## killashandra (Nov 22, 2011)

knitting_mama said:


> I went to a baby shower last week, 7th of April. Prior to going my sister-in-law asked me to make a baby outfit, booties an a blanket to fit a bassinet for a baby boy . I got them done the day of the event. She took it into the place where it was, showed it to the expectant parents, then, said, "just accept this an when you get home trash it." She wadded it up an threw it in what looked like a bag for the plastic dinnerware that had been used. I know she said an did this as I was standing 6 ft. away from her. I felt miserable the rest of the event, no one saw it!! I stayed for the two hours then, called my husband to come get me. It never really hit home till the next day an I cried my eyes out cause I take great pride in making things for newborns. I haven't spoken to her since.....my husband's on his own cause it's his sister! I refuse to do ANYTHING FOR HER!


I have found sooooooo often people cop an attitude like this and never get called on the carpet for it. You should stand up for yourself and simply tell her (preferably with your husband there as back up or witness so she can't deny it) that you saw what she did and tell her if she does not like the handmade items to simply return them to you so they can be appreciated elsewhere and put to a better use. Don't let the emotional devastation stop you from dealing rationally and kindly but to the point about the situation. If no one ever stops her attitude by pointing it out she will continue to hurt others. At least let her know she is not pulling the wool over your eyes. Don't be rude or critical just matter of fact and get your beautiful gift back. Don't let such talent go to waste on someone who can't recognize it.


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## boncamp (Mar 11, 2011)

When I was a young girl and crying because one of my "friends" had hurt my feelings, my aunt gave me a thought that has stayed with me throughout my life. She said, "Just remember that every minute you spend moaning about someone else's shortcomings is a minute you steal from yourself and your time to appreciate the joys life has to offer."
Wise aunt.


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## patty1 (Nov 15, 2011)

Would there be enough yarn in the world to cover the mouth. Shame on her.


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## Revan (Jun 29, 2011)

It's so wrong what you went through. Apparently your sister-in-law has ISSUES! She is probably envious of your kindness and beautiful knitting. Just try to remember she is the one with "issues". She did this to embarass and make you feel the way you do now. Don't give into her. Keep up the  .


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## baglady1104 (Apr 10, 2011)

realsilvergirl said:


> Knit her a muzzle....


LOL that's something like I was thinking, but Courier 770 and some others have really helpful suggestions about, to put it a little differently, not casting your pearls before swine. I am so sorry you both had such rotten experiences.


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## Kissnntell (Jan 14, 2012)

dont 4get the straight jacket ... they're a set!! :lol:



celiaj said:


> I second this motion of the muzzle!
> 
> CeliaJ


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## funkyknitter (Mar 21, 2012)

I'm sure you were speechless at the time this incident happened but I think you or your husband (her brother) should say something to her about this inappropriate behavior at the party. Maybe both of you should confront her together since it's a family matter. I would have started crying right then instead of later and I would called my husband to go home immediately. I don't think you should put up with abuse to keep peace in the family. What she did was totally unacceptable. 

If you are at a loss for words about this, try printing all the comments from your post here and send it her !


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## Kissnntell (Jan 14, 2012)

funkyknitter u said it all: *I don't think you should put up with abuse to keep peace in the family.* 

u have NO idea how this hit home w/me!! THX!!!!!!


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## kirasgram (Mar 27, 2012)

I know the pain you feel. I also had an experience similar to this very thing
My son and his wife separated and their little boy was only 6 yrs of age.
I had always knit for him and he asked me to make him a Spider man sweater. I went to great pains to design and make this and gave it to his Mother to give him for Christmas. LATER I ASKED Dallas..my grandson... how he liked his sweater and he told me crying as his other Gramma had taken it from him and threw it in the garbage. Not only did this hurt me...but hurt a little boy who was looking so forward to the gift
I chalk this up to just mean spirited and jealousy
Should add the boy is now 15 yrs old and is in the sole custody of his Dad's..but no longer wants a Spider man sweater lol
So just let the ignorant sister in law live with her own ignorance and never do anything for her again..if she asks say WHY NEED ANOTHER GARBAGE LINER LOL


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## newquay (Apr 26, 2011)

As rude and hurtful as she is just thank God for the gift of kindness that you obviously have. Also, forgive her in your heart because if you don't that canker will fester forever. Just pray for peace and if she ever confronts you tell her sweetly and kindly how much she had hurt you. She may not have known that you were standing so close to her. You never know, that may be the one gift that was appreciated the most!
God bless
Joyce


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## mallardhen (Sep 24, 2011)

My thoughts are looks like she's the one with the problem, people like that have to take their fears, snd misfortunes out on someone and guess you were the one that day. From what I have seen your knitting is just beautiful , which may be her problem, that's why she ask you to make the gift in the first place then got to thinking since you were also at the shower she couldn't take credit for it herself so putting it down was her way of coaping with her short falls.

Smile and learn to say no to people like that.


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## Murff (Nov 11, 2011)

And she ASKED you to knit that baby outfit? I cannot believe this mean SIL. I'd probably stay clear of her for a long time for your own peace of mind and, if asked, tell her you heard her hurtful comment at the baby shower, about throwing the outfit in the trash. What is there to lose? What she did in incredibly nasty. Also your DH could say something. Your SIL owes you an apology BIG TIME!! You worked so hard to finish that outfit, at her request. I'm so stunned at this.


knitting_mama said:


> I went to a baby shower last week, 7th of April. Prior to going my sister-in-law asked me to make a baby outfit, booties an a blanket to fit a bassinet for a baby boy . I got them done the day of the event. She took it into the place where it was, showed it to the expectant parents, then, said, "just accept this an when you get home trash it." She wadded it up an threw it in what looked like a bag for the plastic dinnerware that had been used. I know she said an did this as I was standing 6 ft. away from her. I felt miserable the rest of the event, no one saw it!! I stayed for the two hours then, called my husband to come get me. It never really hit home till the next day an I cried my eyes out cause I take great pride in making things for newborns. I haven't spoken to her since.....my husband's on his own cause it's his sister! I refuse to do ANYTHING FOR HER!


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## FrannyGrace (Dec 25, 2011)

When I was managing subsidized housing we were taught to document, document, document! If it wasn't in writing it didn't happen. Very good thought about not putting your emotions in the documentation--once you do that it could lessen the impact of the documentation. And also no "guesses" to WHY she did or said what she did. If you are terribly hurt by any of the incidents (as you were by this one) write it down and then re-read it and take out any emotional responses after you cool down. I heard a lot of "she said/he said" among my tenants but with no documentation or proof it just ended up being an emotional outburst that was generally ignored by the higher ups. 


mojave said:


> Another thought to protect you...now that your witchy sister-in-law has shown her true colors, it is time for you to start a journal about her conduct. When she behaves inappropriately towards you, write down the location, the time, what she did, what she said and your response. Also, note the names of any witnesses to the interaction. If your husband gets involved, write down his response. Write only the facts. Don't include soggy, sobbing details on how hurt you feel.
> 
> Sooner or later, your sister-in-law is going to attempt justification of her conduct. One of her tactics will be to make you appear paranoid. When that time comes, you will be able to calmly and dispassionately refute her allegations because you recorded each incident in your journal.


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## umozabeads (Oct 14, 2011)

ABSOLUTELY AGREE!!!!! :thumbup:


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## CAS50 (Mar 26, 2012)

I'm so sorry this happened to you. I have not read through all the pages so I don't know if you ever contacted the parents or got a thank you for the gift.

In any case, you are a wonderful, caring person and your SIL cannot take that away from you!


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## Murff (Nov 11, 2011)

Ducking a head in the toilet and flushing it, is called a "whirly." This does sound like a good plan for your SIL.


Tennessee.Gal said:


> Perhaps her perspective would change if you ducked her head in the toilet! No way would I have handled it as nicely as you did (staying 2 hours and saying nothing).
> 
> When my daughter was born 28 years ago, my SIL (husband's sister) made her a beautiful crib-size quilt. I loved it and used it until my daughter moved to a "big girl" bed. At that point, I put it carefully away to give her when she was grown. It is now one of her prized possessions. I would have been so pleased had anyone knitted such items as you describe for my daughter.


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## carrottop71 (Jul 17, 2011)

I would pray for your sister-in-law. She no doubt needs help from God and most likely a good shrink.


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## headlemk (Feb 16, 2011)

I haven't read through all 25 pages of responses, but I'd like to think that the recipients of this gift fished it out of that bag and are treasuring it now.


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## Murff (Nov 11, 2011)

You ROCK!! THis is a great story!! Congratulations on winning First Place at the State Fair!!


patty1 said:


> I have posted on this already but my hubby said I should tell you the story of a quilt i made. I quilt as well as knit and I made a quilt for a friend of mine, just because she was a freind no other reason. She opened it and said she didn't like it and handed it back to me. I was devistated after all the work and love I put into it. Well I had to prove to myself the quilt was somewhat good so I entered it in the State Fair and it took 1st Place. The person I made it for was there, right next to me and told the women she was with that the quilt was her's made by me. She even had the nerve to ask if she would get the ribbon with it. My answer: You are not only getting the ribbon you are not getting the quilt. You returned it remember. Didn't think anyone's mouth could drop that far. Sorry this is so long.


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## MaryE. (Feb 16, 2011)

*RUDE!* :thumbdown: :thumbdown: :thumbdown:


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## momanna (Nov 12, 2011)

Murff said:


> You ROCK!! THis is a great story!! Congratulations on winning First Place at the State Fair!!
> 
> 
> patty1 said:
> ...


LOVE IT!!! GOOD FOR YOU :twisted:


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## vickest (Dec 28, 2011)

If your SIL is getting on in age, it could be a form of dementia. As we age, our Social Filter leaves and we say inappropriate things at the wrong times. Since it was illogical to ask you to make the gift and then trash it in your presence, I'd think there is a physical reason for her socially unacceptable behavior. Perhaps she needs a physical checkup. So sorry this happened to you. You know you don't make junk.


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## Country Bumpkins (Feb 18, 2011)

I'd copy all 25 pages of this and mail it to your sil. She is EVIL!


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## lfitzie (Apr 4, 2011)

Your SIL is an ignoramus. Ignore her and NEVER do another project for her and if she asks you should tell her why.


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## Looby loo (Jan 5, 2012)

What a truly nasty person. You put love into things you make and for your SIL ( sorry I don't think I would call her my SIL if I were you) to do that is unthinkable. What a COW!!


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## SDKATE57 (Feb 9, 2011)

I try very hard not to be vindictive or mean back to people who hurt me, And treating my hand crafted things like so much garbage is a thing that hurts more than I can tell you., Here are my suggestions:
1. When you are in control, ask her why did she what she did, was there something wrong with it? Tell her she hurt your feelings and you wished that rather than tossing it she would have found a more suitable time to return the gift, You do have others who would appreciate the thought and work you put into such an item,
2. Be strong and stern, and then tell her you won't be able to make her anything else for quite sometime, so please don't make a bad situation worse, by asking me to make you something. AND WALK away. Don't argue with her, don't let her explain, WALK....

I'm so sorry, I know how that feels.....some are just pricelessly rude,.


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## Murff (Nov 11, 2011)

I like this quote, "Fool me once, shame on YOU. Fool me twice, shame on ME." We need to take care of ourselves!


ptspraker said:


> How rude!!! Sometimes your own family can hurt your feelings the most. She ask you to make it and then proceeded to hurt your feelings like that is unspeakable. She would not get anything else from me. You know the saying goes something like this "let someone hurt you once, shame on them, hurt you twice, shame on you."


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## RachelL (Dec 18, 2011)

knitting_mama said:


> I went to a baby shower last week, 7th of April. Prior to going my sister-in-law asked me to make a baby outfit, booties an a blanket to fit a bassinet for a baby boy . I got them done the day of the event. She took it into the place where it was, showed it to the expectant parents, then, said, "just accept this an when you get home trash it." She wadded it up an threw it in what looked like a bag for the plastic dinnerware that had been used. I know she said an did this as I was standing 6 ft. away from her. I felt miserable the rest of the event, no one saw it!! I stayed for the two hours then, called my husband to come get me. It never really hit home till the next day an I cried my eyes out cause I take great pride in making things for newborns. I haven't spoken to her since.....my husband's on his own cause it's his sister! I refuse to do ANYTHING FOR HER!


Am so sorry for what happened to you. I would have been bawling. Sounds like your SIL has some very serious anger issues, both towards you and the recipient of your labor of love. Maybe when you get calm you can ask her what her real issue with you is.

Many years ago I used to knit for my sister & BIL. Once made 3 beautiful matching soft yellow V-neck sweaters for her, BIL and nephew. Some time later when I asked her about them, she didn't remember them at all. Last time I ever made anything for her or her family.

My thinking is: If they don't want you, shake the dust off your shoes and go where they do want you. Makes for a much more peaceful life. Rachel


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## Murff (Nov 11, 2011)

IMHO, I think you did the right thing by staying 2 hours. The baby shower was for another woman, not for your SIL


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## headlemk (Feb 16, 2011)

vickest said:


> If your SIL is getting on in age, it could be a form of dementia. As we age, our Social Filter leaves and we say inappropriate things at the wrong times. Since it was illogical to ask you to make the gift and then trash it in your presence, I'd think there is a physical reason for her socially unacceptable behavior. Perhaps she needs a physical checkup. So sorry this happened to you. You know you don't make junk.


Or she could just be a jerk.


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## tootsie001 (Jan 23, 2011)

Perhaps you could contact the mother to be and ask her to donate the gift as there are people in need, and you wouldn't want your efforts to go into the trash. Then send a gift card and let the matter drop. Not worth losing sleep over or causing friction in your own home. Your husband can not control what a sister thinks, says or does. All you or he can do is react to the situation. He will think better of you not to be put in the middle of this. And yes, don't make anything for her again. My sister crocheted for everyone in her husbands family, and she walked in on a ugly fashion show they were having, wearing and showing all the gifts she had made for them over the years. They even had prizes for the the worst color, item, etc. She cried for weeks. To get her to stop, I helped her compose an e-mail to all of them, telling them that she did not find humor and in fact found the event hurtful and never will they be provided with fodder to further their rude classless behavior. She got apologies from most. But at least it was put to rest. She now crochets for charities and neighbors who appreciate her efforts.


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## kidbear (Jan 28, 2012)

I would not make another thing for your SIL. Very rude and disrespectful not worth your time.


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## Murff (Nov 11, 2011)

This is a great response.


Dreamweaver said:


> SO, she asks you to knit these, then does not wrap them to be opened.... does not acknowledge that you knit them and then behaves miserably.
> 
> Too late, but I would have walked over immediately and said something to the effect that "You asked me to do these. What seems to be the problem with them? If you weren't happy with them, you should have discussed it with me in private" I would have turned to the mom-to-be and said... "Let me take these... I'm sure SIS will be happy to replace them with something to your liking..."
> 
> Since it is too late for that.... I would not involve husband. It isn't his fight... but, if the topic were to come up.... I sure would expect hiim to say something about her poort behavior. Instead, I would calmly call her, tell her you saw and heard what she did. Tell her you were very hurt and offended. Tell her that you think she should have handled it differently. That you have lost all respect for her and that you will no longer be taking any requests from her. I would also tell her that this subject is now finished and that, since you will be seeing each other at family functions, you intend to be civil and pleasant. However, that does not mean that you will forget this incident. Family or not, this sort of behaviour is NEVER acceptable and I would not let it go without comment....


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## Muddyann (Jan 29, 2011)

I think a lot of us have those type of things happen. I never feel like my work is good enough, so I hesitate on ever giving it and I worry the whole time, thinking I just should have bought her something. 
However, I found out that my sister had asked a niece to take pictures at a friend's wedding as a way to keep the costs down and she is very talented and just recently dropped her business when she adopted her last baby. I guess that when she got there, it was horrible, even though the mom is a christian, the wedding party weren't and they caroused and got unruly and she had a hard time getting them to cooperate to get their pictures taken. Needless to say, it's hard to get pictures of people who don't cooperated, so she didn't get as many pictures as she had hoped to, but the ones she took were excellent. I guess the lady's son died and so these were the last pictures she would ever have of her son. She was upset because there weren't as many as she had wanted. My niece is quiet, and not used to being in groups where there is a lot of loud drunken people not wanting to have their picture taken. She did the best she could. But after my sister lit into her, she said she would never do wedding pictures again. Her dad told my mom, so I am not suppose to know.
There are so many people out there who think nothing of being rude and it is hard to take for those who are the takers of the rude remarks and those who love them. My sister has come such a long way only to slide back into the way she was when she was young. I know she has been under a lot of pressure, and I know I am not suppose to know, but it seems like the really soft hearted people who get those rude people in their lives. Oh, to top it off, she asked my daughter to do a wedding cake for a friend of hers. I wanted to tell her no because she idolizes my sister and would do anything for her. She would be crushed though, if my sister talked to her like that.


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## Gwen in L.A. (May 28, 2011)

I'm with Garden Girl...speak to the recipient and get her take on it. 

Good gad, I'm stunned at your sister. What an ignoramus. 
I have a brother and sister in law who are her match. Big hugs. Lots of hidden agendas (I no longer have contact with them fwiw). 

Your co-worker's remark about the baby cowboy boot style bootiess made me smile, now that's an appreciate person! Plus those booties sound charming.


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## dora mac (Nov 15, 2011)

Crude, inconsiderate moronic behavior!! I can't print what I would really say. I sent a hand knit baby blanket, hat and bibs that I made to a friend of my husband's daughter over a month ago and have yet to receive a thank you note. I know it was received since I sent it with delivery confirmation. It seems that a lot of the younger American generation does not acknowledge receipt of gifts these days. Too many wedding gifts, baby gifts etc. we have given and have never been acknowledged. I should get off my stump for now. I feel terrible for you. Carol


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## headlemk (Feb 16, 2011)

Gwen in L.A. said:


> Good gad, I'm stunned at your sister. What an ignoramus.
> I have a brother and sister in law who are her match. Big hugs. Lots of hidden agendas (I no longer have contact with them fwiw).


My Brother and SIL are condescending, snobbish and know-it-all. He's retired navy Master Chief Petty Officer, she a home-wrecker... broke up his marriage with a wonderful woman I still call "sister". He had the audacity to tell me how to raise my teenage boy, when he didn't stay in his marriage long enough to raise his own 3 sons through their teen years. I was so mad I could spit. Then another time his wife talked to me like I was a 4-year-old, in front of my mother and my husband. After that I decided I wouldn't just sit and pretend it didn't matter. I'm too old to be walked on anymore and even for the sake of not upsetting my mother, I will not let them talk to me that way again.

He's also unreliable. Doesn't show up when he says he will or just says he's coming but doesn't say when so we just wait.....


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## cathy47 (Jun 6, 2011)

mernie said:


> I have a s-i-l in my family that is so impossible to please. I knit a lovely silk ribbon scarf for her about ten years ago. After she tried it on, she said that needed to remove it and smiled her usual s----y smile and said she couldn't wear it -- just wasn't warm enough for that 90 degree day in August! The same person remarked to another s-i-l, referring to me, said: She takes such good pictures, isn't that odd? My husband used to ask me why I would try to please her..he called her a no-talent b..... I stopped. Please don't have anything to do with this awful person. She wants to hurt you. She is awful.


Your husband asked a very good questiion why are YOU trying to please this person. You must only please three people. YOU, YOUR HUSBAND and most of all God. end of story.


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## Carlyta (Mar 23, 2011)

I am so sorry that happened to you. Don't think I could have stayed at the shower as long as you did. Carlyta


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## Carlyta (Mar 23, 2011)

I am so sorry that happened to you. Don't think I could have stayed at the shower as long as you did. Carlyta


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## RachelL (Dec 18, 2011)

momanna said:


> Murff said:
> 
> 
> > You ROCK!! THis is a great story!! Congratulations on winning First Place at the State Fair!!
> ...


Love it too!!! Boggles my mind how some people can be so self-centered and ignorant. Good for you.


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## RachelL (Dec 18, 2011)

headlemk said:


> Gwen in L.A. said:
> 
> 
> > Good gad, I'm stunned at your sister. What an ignoramus.
> ...


Sounds like they are both immature children.

Next time he says he's coming without giving you a time, ask him for one. If he doesn't give you a time, go about your business & then leave so that he comes to an empty house. Or when he arrives, tell him you got tired of waiting for him and now you have made other plans and leave.

He's not interested in changing, but you don't have to take his/her treating you like that. Why are you allowing them to control you? Take back control of your life and live in peace.


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## Karoy (Jul 29, 2011)

You know, I'm not a rude person, but I definitely would have said something to the expectant parents that it was my sister-in-law who asked for the items in the first place and she had no right to tell them what to do with the items. I just can't understand how some people can be so rude as to hurt someone else's feelings. She must have it in for you and not like you. I think I would still say something to my sister-in-law about the gall she has. Let her apologize to you. If your husband doesn't like it, let him know that he's married to you and not his sister. I really feel for you.



knitting_mama said:


> I went to a baby shower last week, 7th of April. Prior to going my sister-in-law asked me to make a baby outfit, booties an a blanket to fit a bassinet for a baby boy . I got them done the day of the event. She took it into the place where it was, showed it to the expectant parents, then, said, "just accept this an when you get home trash it." She wadded it up an threw it in what looked like a bag for the plastic dinnerware that had been used. I know she said an did this as I was standing 6 ft. away from her. I felt miserable the rest of the event, no one saw it!! I stayed for the two hours then, called my husband to come get me. It never really hit home till the next day an I cried my eyes out cause I take great pride in making things for newborns. I haven't spoken to her since.....my husband's on his own cause it's his sister! I refuse to do ANYTHING FOR HER!


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## adaws (Feb 2, 2012)

What a TURD!


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## eveningstar (May 8, 2011)

courier770 said:


> You know, last week I was complaining about a baby shower..NOW I'm praying to God that my grandson will survive!
> 
> We've gotten some very bad news, are praying like crazy and just hoping this baby will make it.
> 
> ...


My thoughts and prayers are with you.


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## Ginny K (Jun 1, 2011)

Everyone is so nice here. I would have to say something, especially if your husband will not. B----, why did she even ask you to make something? I'd have to tell her I heard, and don't ask me ever again. There are charities that would love to have those things. Sometimes the parents that receive things from the charity I knit for, (Stitches from the heart), write thank yous even without knowing who made it. She is truely heartless, a beast. No even beasts, (my dog in particular), would never do something so terribly thoughtless. I say, BLAST her but good! That's 2 bad baby showers in the last few weeks where KP people have been mistreated.


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## funkyknitter (Mar 21, 2012)

Kissnntell said:


> funkyknitter u said it all: *I don't think you should put up with abuse to keep peace in the family.*
> 
> u have NO idea how this hit home w/me!! THX!!!!!!


Sometimes you try to reason why someone had acted this way, jealous, insecure ect. Why make excuses for them ? I think the reason that someone is abusive is they have been allowed to get by with it. They need to be called on it when it happens. 
I don't know the circumstances but the mother to be should have said something about this rudeness. It was a gift for her baby after all and she could have said Hey, what in hell are you doing with that gift ?


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## RachelL (Dec 18, 2011)

eveningstar said:


> courier770 said:
> 
> 
> > You know, last week I was complaining about a baby shower..NOW I'm praying to God that my grandson will survive!
> ...


There are only two kingdoms: Faith and fear. With prayer and sublications and thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. He tells us to be still and know that He is God.

Will be with you in prayer.


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## wildfire0 (Mar 14, 2012)

And along with the muzzle include some duct tape to use in appropriate places .. and smile sweetly.


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## lawnchairlady50 (Feb 25, 2011)

I am shocked, I agree very hurtful. I hope the woman the shower was fot took it out of the trash bag and she unlike your SIL love the baby gifts you made.

I am so sorry you had to go through this experience.


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## Ashenlachie (Dec 3, 2011)

I do agree with all these replies loved the muzzle idea, LoL but also NJgardengal- something this lady obviously missed in her bringing up was Good Manners!
One of the things that I admired in my daughter with her babies was that she always made sure to have the child wear a gift item when next in contact with giver.


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## nannyberfa (Oct 9, 2011)

how rotten!!!!!


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## MrsBearstalker (Aug 11, 2011)

What a cruel thing to do! That is beyond understanding. At least you know about it and won't waste another minute of your valuable time on making anything that she requests. I just don't understand how anyone could do that.

Make yourself something beautiful and wear it when you know she will be present and will hear compliments coming your way.

I am so sorry to read this story and hope that your husband will set his sister straight or at least will understand when you don't want to see her much.


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## nannyberfa (Oct 9, 2011)

Thats right!! I would send her a letter, note and tell her how you feel, if ya send great, if you dont great, it will help!


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## MarilynKnits (Aug 30, 2011)

Dear Courier, You are in the prayers of your knitting sisters. I hope the baby thrives and is a joy to all who know him. With loving prayers, Marilyn


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## christiliz (Dec 20, 2011)

I'm sorry to hear what happened to you. Let me say, you're really nice. I would have taken my items from the bag and called for my ride home. I can't believe the expentant parents didn't react to what she did. All involved are heartless and shallow. There are a lot of folks that would love to have your gifts of love. The shawl in your avatar is lovely.


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## Sheeplady (Jan 3, 2012)

Remember nothing we ever do is a mistake. Only a learning experience!


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## Typsknits (Aug 6, 2011)

What can one say she is a real piece of work and not a nice person! You know that what goes around comes around she will get her just deserts one day!


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## Kissnntell (Jan 14, 2012)

really do like the suggestion stated above re: printing these out & presenting 2 her, but not just 2 her, but 2 all concerned. going thru fam probs now myself & i log everything that happens, keep all emails, ans machine msgs & record phone calls (which i no longer answer anyway, i screen my calls now). i will NOT again have her (evil sis) telling ppl i said or did something i never did


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## Mrs. Mac (Feb 10, 2011)

You know, Marmarcas, I wondered after I posted my response if the recipient of the gift had any comment at all. It amazing to me that we call ourselves 'civilized,' yet have those among us who behave toward each other worse than any members of the animal kingdom treat their relatives. This entire episode is shameful. My mind is still reeling with the entire scenario of this event! Unimaginable!



marmarcas said:


> I want to know what the mother-to-be did about that idiotic remark. I would never have another thing to do with your sister-in-law. I have one who has been so rude on severfal occasions that I COMPLETELY ignore her every chane I get. There have been a few family occasions that I have gone to simply because I want to be with some of our other relatives, but if at all possible I'll invent an excuse to miss whatever.


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## ert (May 9, 2011)

courier770 said:


> You know, last week I was complaining about a baby shower..NOW I'm praying to God that my grandson will survive!
> 
> We've gotten some very bad news, are praying like crazy and just hoping this baby will make it.
> 
> ...


Prayers coming your way for a healthy, happy baby.


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## Mrs. Mac (Feb 10, 2011)

Oh, Boy, this is such good advice! Bless you.


boncamp said:


> When I was a young girl and crying because one of my "friends" had hurt my feelings, my aunt gave me a thought that has stayed with me throughout my life. She said, "Just remember that every minute you spend moaning about someone else's shortcomings is a minute you steal from yourself and your time to appreciate the joys life has to offer."
> Wise aunt.


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## Anitabee (Feb 15, 2012)

I think I would cakk the recipient and ask her not to throw it away if she doesn't like it but return it to you. What a mean spirited remark.


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## sunnybutterfly (May 15, 2011)

BEChristianson said:


> NJgardengal said:
> 
> 
> > I agree, only knit for those who appreciate the work.
> ...


I completely agree, as adults we fight our own battles and have to learn to stand up for ourselves. I am now offically in the grumpy old woman age group and I know I would not have been able to contain myself when that ill mannered brat said that. And what's with the husband. No bloke I know would be stupid enough to take his sisters side over his wife's. Does he like being in the dog house. I think you need to stop being the victim here, you have done nothing wrong, deal with your SIL yourself and earn your own respect, if not hers.


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## JillF (Feb 17, 2011)

My own mother was a person like this. Anything that she could say to her anyone's feelings, or be rude, that's what she said. Then I got a sister in law like that too. I had to cut both of them out of my life, and now 30 yrs later neither one of them have anyone in their lives. They are lonely old women. But I definitely would let her know that I was not happy about this and to never ask you for anything again. About the original poster, it may be a lot of pages, but it's only been one day. Maybe she spent the day in church.


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## valeriet (Feb 23, 2012)

I can't believe how rude this woman was! 
I would actually say something direct to her. She asked you to make it and then ridicules your work! It's really shameful behaviour. 
I would make it clear that you are not only upset and hurt but angry - say something like 'never ask me to knit something again - I heard what you said and saw where you put my work' 
I would make her explain herself. Don't back away. Don't let your husband say it. Make her take responsibility for her actions! 
Why should you feel horrible for someone else's behaviour!


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## MarilynKnits (Aug 30, 2011)

Had a friend who was always late. We had a boat and friend and family were coming to us in NJ from the Bronx to spend a nice summer day on Raritan Bay. They were expected for lunch at noon and then we would leave for the boat about 13 miles from home. 12:30 husband, my kids and I had lunch. 1:00 we left for the boat. Saw them going toward our house when we were on the road. We kept going and had a lovely afternoon. They called and were surprised we didn't wait. told them the tide doesn't wait, either. Needless to say they were never invited to anything again. I thought giving them an hour leeway was very generous.


RachelL said:


> headlemk said:
> 
> 
> > Gwen in L.A. said:
> ...


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## MarilynKnits (Aug 30, 2011)

Just one more thought. Some people seem to be the spawn of Satan. Good idea to stay far away from them. There are enough good people with whom to spend time that you don't need toxic people around you poisoning the air. We knitting folks walk the high road together. Love to all.


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## Jan L (Sep 10, 2011)

Mrs. Mac said:


> Oh, Boy, this is such good advice! Bless you.
> 
> 
> boncamp said:
> ...


Amen! Don't waste your time on her.


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## gladyscat (Jun 6, 2011)

Sounds like your DH could use a size 15 single pointed knitting needle to replace the spine he has obviously lost somewhere!


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## Molly Jo (Jan 31, 2011)

Peoiple can be so cruel. My heart bleeds for you. Don't give another thought to her negative attitude. Just thank God for your talent and continue knitting or crocheting for people who are appreciative.


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## sunnybutterfly (May 15, 2011)

gladyscat said:


> Sounds like your DH could use a size 15 single pointed knitting needle to replace the spine he has obviously lost somewhere!


So true!!!! And loyalty has to count for something in a spouse surely.


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## Heartseas (Aug 30, 2011)

If it were me and I heard her say it I would have gone over and asked them to give it back to me.I would certainly have let both parties know I heard what was said. I know the people receiving the gift could not help what your S-I-L said but I would let them know I heard it.
They probably think she is a horrible person too.
I feel so sorry for you.
A similar thing happened to me some years ago. I made my friend's son and his wife a complete baby outfit for their expected child and they told my friend that it was too old fashioned They said people don't put those kind of things on their babies these days. I never got a thank you note or anything. I told my friend to get her son to send the outfit back to me but he didn't even have the decency to do that. My friend was really embarrassed.
My Grandson's mate and his wife have been really grateful for what I have made them for their babies.


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## Ask4j (May 21, 2011)

knitting_mama said:


> I went to a baby shower last week, 7th of April. Prior to going my sister-in-law asked me to make a baby outfit, booties an a blanket to fit a bassinet for a baby boy . I got them done the day of the event. She took it into the place where it was, showed it to the expectant parents, then, said, "just accept this an when you get home trash it." She wadded it up an threw it in what looked like a bag for the plastic dinnerware that had been used. I know she said an did this as I was standing 6 ft. away from her. I felt miserable the rest of the event, no one saw it!! I stayed for the two hours then, called my husband to come get me. It never really hit home till the next day an I cried my eyes out cause I take great pride in making things for newborns. I haven't spoken to her since.....my husband's on his own cause it's his sister! I refuse to do ANYTHING FOR HER!


She did it to hurt you....narcissism--I'm familiar with it. She hates everyone including herself. Just move on--nothing can change her.


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## Mrs. Mac (Feb 10, 2011)

Hi, JillF, Don't you wonder what motivates people to behave this way? I mean, what is the payoff for someone like this? Seems to me that inflicting animosity and hurt on others habitually is some sort of personality defect. It will be difficult, but prayer for this sort of mental, or emotional illness might be needed. Just thinking.....


JillF said:


> My own mother was a person like this. Anything that she could say to her anyone's feelings, or be rude, that's what she said. Then I got a sister in law like that too. I had to cut both of them out of my life, and now 30 yrs later neither one of them have anyone in their lives. They are lonely old women. But I definitely would let her know that I was not happy about this and to never ask you for anything again. About the original poster, it may be a lot of pages, but it's only been one day. Maybe she spent the day in church.


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## grayknitter (Feb 9, 2012)

yes i have been there to so just keep your head up and knit yourself something nice and for those who appreciate it


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## Ask4j (May 21, 2011)

You really have gotten a lot of responses and some say to confront your SIL but that won't change anything because she will totally deny she did it. That is so typical of this mental disorder. Just move on and leave her out of your life. Trying to get back, set straight, clear the air--it won't happen. You know the saying, you can choose your friends but you have to put up with your relatives--but that doesn't mean she can walk all over you. You now know what she is capable of--that is your biggest defense.


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## Ask4j (May 21, 2011)

mojave said:


> courier770 said:
> 
> 
> > mojave, you are much too kind. Me, I'd paste a photo of her on a dartboard and get my frustrations out that way...then nicely put the photo in a frame, holes and all and display it in my home!
> ...


I agree it is a mental illness and I suggest dropping this whole matter because anything said she will refute and turn the tables to make herself look good--she is a very jealous person and I am sure she had overhead someone praising your work. I call it narcissism which is close to sociopath behavior and the people with this personality seem to be very clever and hurting others is what they seek.


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## sunnybutterfly (May 15, 2011)

We haven't heard from the person who started this thread. What do you think of the responses so far.


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## ssk1953 (Jan 29, 2012)

That is the most horrible thing I've ever heard. Bless your sweet heart. I just can't think of words strong enough to express the hurt I feel for you. I believe if I had been the recepient of the gift, I would have made a point to openly thank you for the beautiful gift and have made SIL look like the horse's --- she is. Pardon my French. I'm still fuming. My SIL showed herself once many years ago and my family has always remembered what she is capable of. So sorry that happened to one of my "sister knitters".


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## rlmayknit (Mar 14, 2011)

That is just terrible! I have learned there are a lot of mean and rude people. What really hurts is family. I have had so many things done to me by my extended family. Nothing shocks me anymore. I would never make them a thing. I am sorry and I know how you feel. rlmayknit


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## mojave (Oct 14, 2011)

Ask4j said:


> mojave said:
> 
> 
> > courier770 said:
> ...


Not all medical experts consider the sociopathic personality to be a 'true' mental disorder. It cannot be cured with medications because the cause is a physical defect in the cerebral cortex. The area of the brain where compassion and empathy originate is damaged in a sociopath. Once the brain cells are dead, that's it. We do not know how to regenerate the cells. Head trauma can cause a person to develop the sociopathic personality. It is a problem in the injured service members returning from duty in Iraq and Afghanistan. 
Also, not all sociopaths are sadistic monsters. They may be unable to feel the emotions of compassion and empathy, but they can learn to live by a code of conduct.


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## Knitish (Feb 8, 2011)

Will agree here that there is some form of mental illness. There are some people who just have to have someone below them to hurt and validate themselves as better or intelligent. This is just the mechanics of their brain so do not expect change. So protect yourself and ignore it as much as possible, yet do not be afraid to pushback politely, intelligently and publicly. If they know you stand up for yourself, they find someone else to pick on. It will not hurt anything.


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## missylam (Aug 27, 2011)

That was extremely rude and very inconsiderate since she had requested it. I certainly would not make any thing else for her. That is just so ridiculous.


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## kyriakoulla (Jul 11, 2011)

You are a lovely feeling lady and have good in your heart. People like your sister in law must be very unhappy and will never truly love. 
God Bless


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## Valjean (Jul 21, 2011)

Northwoods Gal said:


> What an incredibley rude thing to do! This "woman' needs a lesson in etiquette, let alone a kick in the arse. I am sorry you went through all that work and got treated like this.


Ditto, ditto, well said to a very ungrateful, rude lady, I wouldn't give her air space.


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## damemary (Mar 14, 2012)

I agree. A rational approach is best of all. At the very least it will let her know she can't get away with it.



killashandra said:


> knitting_mama said:
> 
> 
> > I went to a baby shower last week, 7th of April. Prior to going my sister-in-law asked me to make a baby outfit, booties an a blanket to fit a bassinet for a baby boy . I got them done the day of the event. She took it into the place where it was, showed it to the expectant parents, then, said, "just accept this an when you get home trash it." She wadded it up an threw it in what looked like a bag for the plastic dinnerware that had been used. I know she said an did this as I was standing 6 ft. away from her. I felt miserable the rest of the event, no one saw it!! I stayed for the two hours then, called my husband to come get me. It never really hit home till the next day an I cried my eyes out cause I take great pride in making things for newborns. I haven't spoken to her since.....my husband's on his own cause it's his sister! I refuse to do ANYTHING FOR HER!
> ...


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## kirasgram (Mar 27, 2012)

WELL HERE YA GO HON...FORWARD THE SIL THIS SITE AND LET HER READ WHAT KIND OF A PERSON WE CAN THAT SHE IS..SOMETIMES YA JUST GOTTA HIT SOMEONE IN THE FACE WITH A DEAD FISH TO FORCE THEM TO SEE THE ERRORS OF THEIR WAYS


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## GrannyGoode (Oct 9, 2011)

Honestly, I think a literal slap in the face is warranted here.


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## shanni (Apr 18, 2011)

What an absolute cow!!!! Never do anything for her again


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## Schipperke (Nov 12, 2011)

Valjean said:


> Northwoods Gal said:
> 
> 
> > What an incredibley rude thing to do! This "woman' needs a lesson in etiquette, let alone a kick in the arse. I am sorry you went through all that work and got treated like this.
> ...


Sad to say, she is NO LADY.


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## i knit (Jan 17, 2011)

just reading this im trying not to cry thinking how hurt you must have been im so sorry this happened to you!


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## nuclearfinz (Feb 23, 2011)

That is the ultimate in rudeness. Jealous or not, this woman needs to know how unacceptable her behavior was. You put too much work and care into the project and it deserves you speaking up. Tell your husband first. It is his siter and I bet he doesnt know about what happened.


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## gina (Jan 18, 2011)

I wish the OP had said what the mother to be did or said..Surely she was shocked as well...Am beginning to wonder about this post, as someone on about page 25 said.

30 pages and no reply from the OP...so many questioned raised that she should answer


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## Sarahb69 (Apr 11, 2012)

realsilvergirl said:


> Knit her a muzzle....


I agree 100%! I know it's late for me to come into the conversation but how totally unacceptably rude of your SIL. I would hope your hubby would bawl her out for her callous behaviour! I cannot stand people who treat others that way. One day she will get a rude awakening herself.

In the meantime, I agree with everyone when I say to knit for the people who appreciate your time and talent!


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## Gabriell (Sep 13, 2011)

Unbelievable.I can imagine how you felt hearing that.


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## bizzyknitter (May 10, 2011)

Kelly2011 said:


> I realize that I can be pretty cynical, but when someone starts a thread with an emotional, outlandish story (that I wish I could check out on Snopes!) then disappears and never responds to 15 pages of comments without ever once responding, I wonder if the compassionate, sympathetic people on this site are are being jerked around. Seriously! FIFTEEN pages of comments and not ONE response from the original poster. This is the 2nd thread this week were this has happened, although the first one never got to 15 pages before I cried BULL$&@%! When I questioned it on the first thread, the original poster STILL never came back on to clarify anything, even though others and myself had asked a million questions. I'm still waiting several days later.
> 
> What do people do, post emotional, controversial made-up crap to get everyone in a tizzy - then sit back and watch for entertainment?!? Am I the only one here who is beginning to feel like we're being played?!? :thumbdown:


I agree...now it's 30 pages...enough said about this post...lets get on with the knitting isn't that why we are here? to help each other and teach each other?


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## knitter360 (Apr 10, 2011)

How very hurtful and insensitive your sister-in-law is! I too would not knit for her, however, your niece may feel differently. I would knit for people would appreciate the time and talent it takes!


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## 34652 (Sep 5, 2011)

I have learned a lot from the discussion tho.



bizzyknitter said:


> Kelly2011 said:
> 
> 
> > I realize that I can be pretty cynical, but when someone starts a thread with an emotional, outlandish story (that I wish I could check out on Snopes!) then disappears and never responds to 15 pages of comments without ever once responding, I wonder if the compassionate, sympathetic people on this site are are being jerked around. Seriously! FIFTEEN pages of comments and not ONE response from the original poster. This is the 2nd thread this week were this has happened, although the first one never got to 15 pages before I cried BULL$&@%! When I questioned it on the first thread, the original poster STILL never came back on to clarify anything, even though others and myself had asked a million questions. I'm still waiting several days later.
> ...


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

gina said:


> I wish the OP had said what the mother to be did or said..Surely she was shocked as well...Am beginning to wonder about this post, as someone on about page 25 said.
> 
> 30 pages and no reply from the OP...so many questioned raised that she should answer


It's possible that the OP wrote that post and then went out of town. I just spent an unexpected three weeks away from home and my computer. Sometimes things like that happen. Let's hope it's a reason like that and not illness or a bad event that's keeping her offline.


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## jeannewmie (Aug 12, 2011)

Oh my goodness! How hurtful for you. Very mean-spirited. I'm thinking a brief conversation with her (after you are relaxed) is in order. Just state that when she did that, she really hurt your feelings. Cause and effect. And if she ever asks again (and I'm thinking she might, if she's this insensitive), remind her politely that you are not open for business.
Just because your husband is related to her, doesn't make him responsible for settling this.


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## ggigliel (Apr 27, 2011)

I'm sorry that happened to you. Non knitters don't know what it takes to make a knitted or crochet gift. We make things with such love, and that was very rude and inconsiderate of her. I made many gifts for my family for Christmas, I found a few looks that I didn't appreciate. I will never make anything for them again. Since then I have made many shawls and scarfs and these same people asked me to make it for them , and I politely said that I was too busy and said NO. If people can't apperciate the time it takes to make a homemade gift, its their loss !


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## sylviaelliott (May 11, 2011)

well you know what to say if she asks you for anything else. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.


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## tootsie001 (Jan 23, 2011)

Don't open the thread if you find it annoying. I just delete, that is what that button is for. I suspect that these threads are the interactions that some people get. I wouldn't want to limit contact between people. Some of these threads put a fire under the pot and cause heated discussions. Some times that can be good for those with limited people contact, gets out frustrations, and those that need sympathy can get that too. We should be kind in our comments before hitting the send button. Have a good week everyone.


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## unie (Dec 4, 2011)

Ditto to all of the above... I am very plain- spoken 
( sometimes it's not good) .. I would have to call her up and ask her why she asked me to do it if she didn't appreciate my work and would NEVER make anything for her again. I hate mean-spirited people.


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## supergirl6116 (Apr 3, 2011)

I think I may have said something if it were me!


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## headlemk (Feb 16, 2011)

RachelL said:


> headlemk said:
> 
> 
> > Gwen in L.A. said:
> ...


Actually this is how he treats our mother. And she won't nail him down if he doesn't give a time. The last time we were together was at Thanksgiving a couple years ago. They said they were coming, but didn't give a time. We were going to Cracker Barrel to eat and they don't take reservations. Since we've waited lunch for him until 3:00 PM before (one Christmas) only to have he and SIL arrive to tell us they'd already eaten at the NCO club, we decided to go out to eat breakfast about 9:00. Well, they strolled in around 11:00 and of course we weren't hungry then. SIL was pissed, went to the local Jack-in-the-Box and got them some salads and we all waited until around 12:30 to go to CB and eat.

Of course we were supposed to "assume" they would arrive at a decent hour. NOT.

And SIL has never been in my home and my brother came to see me in my home for the 1st time when I was 58.

They are both jerks.


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## KarenJo (Feb 24, 2011)

It never crossed my mind that this could be a hoax


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## KarenJo (Feb 24, 2011)

doublepost.ignore


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## headlemk (Feb 16, 2011)

No, don't think it's a hoax. Maybe she's not set up to receive followup comments in her email or just vented and was done with it.


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## soneka (Feb 8, 2011)

This is the rudest incident I've ever heard! Of course, never knit a thing for her and especially at her request again! You certainly have the right to give her the cold shoulder, and hopefully she will inquire why. Your husband can then step in and let her know what an ungracious b---- she is. Anyone who invests in the time to make homemade items for someone else should be commended. 
You are a good person and you would do well to put this behind you - make something for charity and feel better!


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## MRS. VERY GOOD (Sep 22, 2011)

hello knitting mama,
don't feel bad. i gave my dil a gift for the baby, & she said, "well, actually i'm the baby's mother!! i let it go by. one time she called me up (five yrs. of marriage) & said she doesn't want to call me mom & used my "first name." i was speechless. then she said i'm not her mother, & i'm not her nana. i have made several gifts for the two grandchildren, but have never seen them used, as well as bought ones. there were other rude remarks, so we stopped going to their house 6yrs. ago. my son comes here with the kids, as i won't let her come here.if i didn't see them, then so be it. i can sleep at night.
MRS. VERY GOOD


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## Mrs. Mac (Feb 10, 2011)

Dear Ask4j, You are so right about confronting this neanderthal SIL; would not improve the situation, and she just could be un-teachable anyway. We do not have the option of choosing our families, and even when we are blessed with a positive upbringing, there is a risk of joining a family in marriage with an entirely different set of values. This woman may well imagine herself some kind of qualified judge of the quality of hand-crafted items, which brings another question: Surely, when she asked her SIL to make the baby ensemble for the shower gift, she had seen other items made by her, or why ask for this very generous favor, only to present the gift, and then trash it as unacceptable? This makes me wonder what her REAL motivation was for her outrageous performance in the gathering of guests.

This is such bizarre behavior, it caused me problems getting to sleep last night! I am qualified by my degree and experience to be a counselor in high school, and this kind of interaction is truly fascinating to me. It reminds me of some of the bitter, back-biting female teen interactions that happen in middle and high schools during the throes of virulent adolescence, which are usually envy- or jealousy-based. Designed to humiliate, but to one's own SIL? Here is another question: Is her own brother's opinion of her bizarre behavior not a consideration to her at all, or did she believe her actions would never be noticed by anyone in her own family? Well, what are the odds of that in a community of acquaintances?

I shall release this from my mind now; it is not a pleasant thing to think about. I have so much empathy for the knitter in this story. God bless her .


Ask4j said:


> You really have gotten a lot of responses and some say to confront your SIL but that won't change anything because she will totally deny she did it. That is so typical of this mental disorder. Just move on and leave her out of your life. Trying to get back, set straight, clear the air--it won't happen. You know the saying, you can choose your friends but you have to put up with your relatives--but that doesn't mean she can walk all over you. You now know what she is capable of--that is your biggest defense.


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## Cali (Apr 9, 2012)

Oh my silvergirl... rotfl... That is the absolute best sentiment... I will remember it for future use.

I agree with the muzzle 100 %... 

I would have cried too.. but now try to laugh a bit & ignore her. 

Hopefully her comments were also perceived as rude and offensive to the actual recipient. If not, neither of them are up to your standards for friendship.


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## Cali (Apr 9, 2012)

good for you! I would have kept the ribbon and the quilt too.

My 30 year old daughter moved across the country. She only took 2 suitcases of clothes with her. She has emailed me asking if I could send out her 2 baby quilts made for her by her aunt and her grandmother. They are prized possessions.

My mother made a blanket for my daugher's wedding. Her husband loves it and took a picture of it on the bed immediately. But he was scared to use it because of their cat. We had to convince him it was made to use despite cat fur... lol

I am proud of both my daughers. I would be extremely ashamed if I heard either of them speak that way to absolutely anyone!


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## KarenJo (Feb 24, 2011)

headlemk said:


> No, don't think it's a hoax. Maybe she's not set up to receive followup comments in her email or just vented and was done with it.


I hope that you are correct about this post being true. If so, I also hope that venting to KP helps her work through that mess.


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## lvsroses (Feb 21, 2012)

That is so horrible. I know how many hours of love and anticipation went into such a great gift. It would be a cold day you know where before I said a word to her. I hope the parents to be looked closely at it and did not trash it. I feel your sadness.


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## lvsroses (Feb 21, 2012)

Oh my! I will pray that God will let this child grow strong and live long.


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## patty1 (Nov 15, 2011)

I would have had two words for her and they wouldn't have been good luck


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## lvsroses (Feb 21, 2012)

If that is a picture of what you make it is fabulous! Shame on people who have no idea what you do to make something that pretty.


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## Karena (Jul 3, 2011)

What an affront. I would call those involved, shower hostesss, etc., and find out just what happened. What went "terribly wrong" in your opinion. Seems some people think you are a pushover. No one should be invited and insulted. Surprised you stayed 2 hours, I wouldn't have. 
Then, confront the sister, no holds barred. Then move on. Time to cut some people out of your life.


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## kimmyz (May 9, 2011)

I'm so sorry this happened to you. A person who would say something that meanspirited isn't worth giving another thought to. I know it must hurt, but try to ignor her and keep on knitting or doing whatever makes you happy. There are plenty of people who would have LOVED receiving handmade baby items. I think I would have walked over there, grabbed my gift and left the house! Unbelievable!


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## train (Nov 6, 2011)

It's too bad this happened, but take comfort in knowing it's her problem, and try hard to not let this upset upset YOUR life. You are a kind person! :thumbup:


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## Woody (Sep 9, 2011)

realsilvergirl said:


> Knit her a muzzle....


You gals keep me in stitches! (oops, I made a pun...)


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## soneka (Feb 8, 2011)

MRS. VERY GOOD said:


> hello knitting mama,
> don't feel bad. i gave my dil a gift for the baby, & she said, "well, actually i'm the baby's mother!! i let it go by. one time she called me up (five yrs. of marriage) & said she doesn't want to call me mom & used my "first name." i was speechless. then she said i'm not her mother, & i'm not her nana. i have made several gifts for the two grandchildren, but have never seen them used, as well as bought ones. there were other rude remarks, so we stopped going to their house 6yrs. ago. my son comes here with the kids, as i won't let her come here.if i didn't see them, then so be it. i can sleep at night.
> MRS. VERY GOOD


I haven't seen our grandson in any of the sweaters or hats I've made for him, either. So now I send my stuff to charity.


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## Alta Grama (Apr 16, 2012)

I agree about the rudeness of your sister-in-law but I have a little different response. I would confront her with the issue and let her know how much you were hurt. I'd even ask why she bothered to have you knit the gift. You are not responsible about how she reacts to you but you will have unburdened yourself to the only person who can really either make it better or not. It's her choice but you will be released from your burden and won't have to continue carrying it around. If you can't face her, try writing her a letter.


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## Isabel (Mar 15, 2011)

I once crocheted the cutest tote bag for our daughter's mother-in-law for Christmas. (She's now a FORMER mother-in-law.) Just knew she'd like it. Well. First thing she said was, "Oh, we don't exchange gifts among adults." (I'd not expected one from her.) She wouldn't even take the package, got one of her sons to open it for her, then made jokes about it, with shrill laughter. Our daughter reported that she stuck it in a closet. Daughter finally retrieved it and returned it to me, knowing I had a friend who really liked it. Daughter asked her why she didn't just give it to someone else; her reply was that she didn't want to hurt my feelings! Snort. Poor woman, her social I.Q. was at basement level anyway.


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## MamaBonz 55 (Sep 24, 2011)

Of course you felt miserable! You were a lot more restrained than I would have been. I would have marched up and asked her ever so sweetly why she had asked me to make that gift if she thought so little of it? Depending on her reply, I just might have apologized to the expectant parent for the woman's rudeness. "I just know she wouldn't have acted that way if she had been herself today." Again, depending on their reactions, I might have gone on to say that I was so sorry my gift wasn't acceptable and offer her a replacement in the form of a gift card. 

It sounds to me like that woman has learned she can get away with this kind of behavior. I had an aunt like that. She spent her life running over other people's feelings and acting smug about it. She was so mean that when she died they had to hire pallbearers. Fact.


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## skfowler (Apr 13, 2011)

courier770 said:


> Well knitting_mama, you and I both went to showers and got our feelings hurt last Saturday. I'm so, so sorry as I know nearly exactly how you feel!
> 
> I came here and vented a little, grumbled at work and then got some real "enlightenment". A couple of my coworkers who I have knitted for in the past said things like "knit for me instead, I love the beautiful things you make" and one guy...yes a GUY said "well screw them, my daughter has kept the little cowgirl boot booties you made for my grand daughter and hopes someday a grandchild of hers will wear them!".
> 
> ...


Absolutely, don't knit for her!!! Your talents wasted on a rude person like her! I'm sure that there are plenty of others who appreciated your lovely knitted items!


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## MRS. VERY GOOD (Sep 22, 2011)

hi, i didn't write my d i l. a letter, i wrote everything down on paper for myself. when my son pressures us to visit them, i read the three pages of nasty comments she said, & i refuse to go. dear annie says, "stay away" from people like this, relatives or not. i don't stay away from family gatherings that she will be at. if she says hello mrs.----(can you imagine) i just say hello ,& keep on walking. i wonder what kind of mother-in-law she will make someday??? ha ha ha


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## pprose (Jan 24, 2012)

Norma's Child said:


> I agree about the rudeness of your sister-in-law but I have a little different response. I would confront her with the issue and let her know how much you were hurt. I'd even ask why she bothered to have you knit the gift. You are not responsible about how she reacts to you but you will have unburdened yourself to the only person who can really either make it better or not. It's her choice but you will be released from your burden and won't have to continue carrying it around. If you can't face her, try writing her a letter.


I agree with you 100%. If you don't say something she will keep on doing it.


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## pprose (Jan 24, 2012)

Norma's Child said:


> I agree about the rudeness of your sister-in-law but I have a little different response. I would confront her with the issue and let her know how much you were hurt. I'd even ask why she bothered to have you knit the gift. You are not responsible about how she reacts to you but you will have unburdened yourself to the only person who can really either make it better or not. It's her choice but you will be released from your burden and won't have to continue carrying it around. If you can't face her, try writing her a letter.


I agree with you 100%. If you don't say something she will keep on doing it.


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## Jokim (Nov 22, 2011)

KarenJo said:


> It never crossed my mind that this could be a hoax


In the original post, Knitting mama's avatar shows a girl wearing a very intricate knitted lacy shawl (refer to the 4th posting of this thread, on April 14, by Nanny Mon). Today I looked at her avatar and it is of a white dog or a wolf. What gives? No one has heard from her since her first posting. Why would the avatar be changed and no posts created?


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## umozabeads (Oct 14, 2011)

I also sent her a PM and I have received no response. Something is definitely up here.


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## KarenJo (Feb 24, 2011)

I think I get it...a wolf in sheep's clothing...we have been duped....we need to kiss this thread goodbye for sure


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## vpatt (Dec 24, 2011)

Maybe she doesn't know how to act with the huge response she got. But it is strange if she has changed her avitar that she would not respond at least once.......


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## silvercharms (Mar 29, 2011)

Let the poor woman alone- first of all her SIL is so nasty, and who knows the repercussions of THAT?
Now we have all overwhelmed her with conflicting advice - what on earth would you reply?
She may well be embarrassed out of her skin, and also having the fall-out from the original incident to cope with.
I say DON'T ADD TO HER TROUBLES! LET HER ALONE! CLOSE THE THREAD!


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## lovehomemade (Sep 11, 2011)

That was mean,I don't blame you for being angry with her.I would definitely not waste your time crafting anything for her again and I would also tell her that you witnessed what she did.


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## Grandma Jan (Apr 6, 2011)

I looked at her history and Knitting_Mama (the one with the white wolf avatar) has been here a while, taking part in many other threads.

Could it be that she's just on vacation or away from her computer for a while?

It would make me feel awful to hesitate before I am certain and then find out I'm wrong.


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## jackki (Dec 21, 2011)

Your sister-in-law has made her feelings known and you now know that you will not want to create your beautiful works of art for her again. You have been treated very shabbily and I hope that you recover from the shock of such unjustified nastiness as soon as possible. There are many people who appreciate the hard work that goes into handmade gifts and you will not lack appreciative recipients in the future. Bless you and hoping that your other half feels able to broach this subject with his sibling.


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## jackki (Dec 21, 2011)

Your sister-in-law has made her feelings known and you now know that you will not want to create your beautiful works of art for her again. You have been treated very shabbily and I hope that you recover from the shock of such unjustified nastiness as soon as possible. There are many people who appreciate the hard work that goes into handmade gifts and you will not lack appreciative recipients in the future. Bless you and hoping that your other half feels able to broach this subject with his sibling.


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## Grandma Jan (Apr 6, 2011)

This is what I found:

User name: knitting_mama
User title (?): none
Status: offline
Private messages: Send PM (click to send a private message) (all from/all to) (add to buddy list)
Registration date: Jan 30, 11
Number of topics created: 6 (list)
Number of messages posted: 342 (list)
Feedback/rating: 0, positive 0.0% (list)
Birthday: Jul 3
Location: Western New York
Occupation: Retired
Interests: reading, knitting/crochetting an old cars
Biography: I'm a retired Managers Assistant an 54 yrs. old. I have a 31 yr. old daughter an 29 yr. old son, 2 cats - Shacoo & Shadow


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## Grandma Jan (Apr 6, 2011)

Oh, and it had the White wolf avatar too...


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## joyceannellen (Oct 22, 2011)

There have been so many good suggestions on what Knitting Mamma should have said or done. I have been in situations where someone has been been mean or embasrrased me. I am so shocked that I can't think of anything to say or do. Hours later I come up with so many good comments and feel like kicking myself for not thinking of them at the time.
Sometimes just rethinking the situation and imagine myself doing or saying something that is really really good helps and even makes me laugh.


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

Grandma Jan said:


> I looked at her history and Knitting_Mama (the one with the white wolf avatar) has been here a while, taking part in many other threads.
> 
> Could it be that she's just on vacation or away from her computer for a while?
> 
> It would make me feel awful to hesitate before I am certain and then find out I'm wrong.


Exactly. I agree with you. We don't know why she's not online. Maybe she just had surgery, maybe someone's sick in the family. There a lot of reasons for someone being offline. Maybe someone should send her a PM (personal message) and make sure she's all right.


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## Sewvirgo (Jul 27, 2011)

NJgardengal said:


> I agree, only knit for those who appreciate the work.
> 
> Meanwhile, as you were there, you probably have a relationship with the recipients. If you feel the recipients might take her trash talk seriously, why not contact them and offer to take the set back and depending on their response, offer to make something else. You might be surprised and learn that they appreciate the fine work you created for them.
> 
> Worst case, you'll have the work at your disposal, perhaps to donate to the next charity auction where you can watch the truly appreciative bid appropriate amounts for fine handmade items. ( And, by then, you might just feel like inviting said SIL, and let her observe how fine hand work is valued. That would be my response and, of course, being "too busy" any time in the future that she requests your efforts.)


that's a great idea. It's also a good life lesson to the new parents that they can pass on to their children because they obviously aren't learning compassion and kindness from your SIL


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## vjh1530 (Oct 8, 2011)

She has been online. She posted a comment on another thread yesterday. And she didn't sound at all traumatized. She sounded quite perky, actually:
http://www.knittingparadise.com/t-74338-2.html#1373213

Something is not right with this. I think this was a game for her.


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## Mrs. Mac (Feb 10, 2011)

Hi, Karen Jo, 
You may be right, about being duped. but why? Posting such a horrible story, is there a personal pay-off in something like that? 
I have to admit that I felt it was a bit spineless ( and unlikely?) to let pass such a remark in a company of shower attendees (acquaintances?) without any action, but there are some pretty shy, unassuming people around. Hmmmm. I am done with this thread. I would rather be knitting anyway, as soon as the pain from my shingles attach subsides.


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## Phoenix (Oct 2, 2011)

I guess I'm just too blunt but if it was me, I wouldn't wait for the hubby to say something to her, I'D do it!...Resentment will give you ulcers and stress is a killer....my words to live by have always been....Life's too short!!!...don't let resentment and hurt feelings keep you in knots...say something to her....preferably with your spouse there so words can't get twisted into something you didn't say.


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## Phoenix (Oct 2, 2011)

vjh1530 said:


> She has been online. She posted a comment on another thread yesterday. And she didn't sound at all traumatized. She sounded quite perky, actually:
> http://www.knittingparadise.com/t-74338-2.html#1373213
> 
> Something is not right with this. I think this was a game for her.


You mean she can't see the humor in something and laugh at it if she's upset by something that happened to her?.....I don't think she was "traumatized" by what her SIL did but she was upset...and rightfully so....but that doesn't mean she has to put on mourning clothes and stop enjoying things others post....


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## JillF (Feb 17, 2011)

Not only that, but it's 10 days later, how long do you stay that upset? Maybe she doesn't feel there's anything left to say.


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## vpatt (Dec 24, 2011)

If I was the OP I would feel that I should respond at least once to all the others who had shown me so much sympathy. Not responding sounds like something the evil SIL would do, lol.


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

vjh1530 said:


> She has been online. She posted a comment on another thread yesterday. And she didn't sound at all traumatized. She sounded quite perky, actually:
> http://www.knittingparadise.com/t-74338-2.html#1373213
> 
> Something is not right with this. I think this was a game for her.


Now, just because she was able to let it go and is feeling happy isn't a reason to think she was taking advantage of anyone. It would be a shame if she were still miserable over something that happened a week or two ago. Maybe all the kind responses have lifted her up and she's now over it. She had no way of knowing how many would respond. Besides, wasn't that why we all responded - to help her feel better?


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## Alice Thomas (Jan 30, 2012)

E-gads! I just completed a throw & matching pillow for a wedding shower. My husband thinks they're beautiful, but I can't help thinking they might wind up in a Goodwill box. On the other hand, I recently made a baby blanket for a shower and was thrilled with the mother's thank-you note ("it's gorgeous, he'll keep it forever, very thoughtful..."). So you never know.


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

Alice Thomas said:


> E-gads! I just completed a throw & matching pillow for a wedding shower. My husband thinks they're beautiful, but I can't help thinking they might wind up in a Goodwill box. On the other hand, I recently made a baby blanket for a shower and was thrilled with the mother's thank-you note ("it's gorgeous, he'll keep it forever, very thoughtful..."). So you never know.


A throw and matching pillow sounds perfect for newlyweds! I've never done a matching pillow, but I love the idea. Most people are very appreciative - surely they will be, too.


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## Phoenix (Oct 2, 2011)

Phoenix said:


> vjh1530 said:
> 
> 
> > She has been online. She posted a comment on another thread yesterday. And she didn't sound at all traumatized. She sounded quite perky, actually:
> ...


I wrote this before reading other posts...(my bad!)...and I'm sorry if I sounded rude. But I don't automatically jump to the conclusion that someone was playing games just because she doesn't post on her own thread after receiving many answers to her question....BUT!!!...I do find it odd that she wouldn't at least acknowledge the other posts....to each his/her own, I guess.


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## umozabeads (Oct 14, 2011)

True. And not even answer PM that was sent to her!


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## vjh1530 (Oct 8, 2011)

Phoenix said:


> vjh1530 said:
> 
> 
> > She has been online. She posted a comment on another thread yesterday. And she didn't sound at all traumatized. She sounded quite perky, actually:
> ...


My "traumatized" remark was in response to someone else's comments for KnittingMama not re-posting on her topic.

Call it what you want, but someone who posts something like she did, then never return a comment, has a problem of some kind. Either she is pulling our collective leg by posting a fake story to get people's emotions going, or she is incredibly rude to not at least post one thank you to 33 pages of people offering support to her. Do you think maybe it is not a coincidence that there was just a very large topic by another poster who had a similar experience that had happened to her (Courier)? Maybe this new topic was a little competition to see if she (KnittingMama) could get more responses to her posting than Courier did to hers? People do strange things for strange reasons. And there are plenty of people in this world who get a lot of satisfaction from getting other people upset. Everyone was so ready to believe the SIL was mean enough to ask KnittingMama to knit a baby ensemble, then throw it into the trash in front of her. But then no one believes that KnittingMama might be mean to KP members? Plus the fact that KnittingMama had posted two weeks previously on another thread that she had just finished knitting a baby ensemble she had been asked to do. But on this post she wrote that she finished it the day of the party. So which one of those was not true?

Too many strange things here for me. Not to mention - her new avatar is a WOLF. Hmmmmm......


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## pprose (Jan 24, 2012)

vjh1530 said:


> Phoenix said:
> 
> 
> > vjh1530 said:
> ...


I think all the rest of us should just stop posting on this or answer any of her other posts she sends. Wolf she is.


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## JillF (Feb 17, 2011)

I'm amazed that anyone is upset or annoyed or anything any longer. It's not like you've been talking back and forth to this woman. It's just a random post by someone on a forum. Not a friend or anything. Why invest this much emotion? I've only left it on to see if she came back out of curiosity. Personally, I don't care anymore. Just press the unwatch at the top of the page and move on. That's what I'll do next.


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## vjh1530 (Oct 8, 2011)

Agreed! It's been more morbid curiosity than anything else


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## Phoenix (Oct 2, 2011)

vjh1530 said:


> Agreed! It's been more morbid curiosity than anything else


True...who knows...she may be sitting at home on her computer laughing at us right now...LOL


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## silvercharms (Mar 29, 2011)

Please could we call an end to this right now? 

It seems to be getting VERY personal, not to say bitchy. 

You will be making others afraid to post at all when they are in trouble.


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## grandma jean (Dec 15, 2011)

how incredibly ungrateful not to mention downright rude. i am sure i would have given her the length of my tongue there and then and made sure she was embarrased in front of her friends. maybe that would have made these other folk know what type of person she is. i would never ever ever speak to her again or let her into my home.sister in law or not.you don't need relatives like her.best wishes to you


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## MRS. VERY GOOD (Sep 22, 2011)

hello,
maybe you can answer my question?? when it comes up, "there has been a new reply" does that mean i have a message? i can never find my messages if gals have sent me one.
thanks,
mrs. very good


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## vpatt (Dec 24, 2011)

When you get an email it will tell you that it is for a subject like this one or it will say it is a private message and will take you to it when you click on it.


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

JillF said:


> I'm amazed that anyone is upset or annoyed or anything any longer. It's not like you've been talking back and forth to this woman. It's just a random post by someone on a forum. Not a friend or anything. Why invest this much emotion? I've only left it on to see if she came back out of curiosity. Personally, I don't care anymore. Just press the unwatch at the top of the page and move on. That's what I'll do next.


I agree with you - there's a whole lot of overreaction going on here.


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## ekokinis (Apr 10, 2012)

I would let her know you heard her comment and NEVER make anything for her again. If if were me, I probably wouldn't talk to her again, but that's me. She's an ungrateful person


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## Daniele1969 (Aug 12, 2011)

Wow, I'm a little late with my response... 35 pages?! 

I just wanted to say that I'm sorry you had to experience that from "family"... It was mean-spirited, cruel and just down-right "SH*TY"!! I can't figure out why she would ask you to make something just to tell the happy couple to just throw it away! 

All the time, effort and care that you put into the ensemble... 

Just out of curiosity - what did your husband have to say?

Knitting Mama, you are a diamond that shines brighter than the stars and your sister-in-law is a lump of coal.... 

Just remember that!!
Dani


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## Daniele1969 (Aug 12, 2011)

bonbf3 said:


> JillF said:
> 
> 
> > I'm amazed that anyone is upset or annoyed or anything any longer. It's not like you've been talking back and forth to this woman. It's just a random post by someone on a forum. Not a friend or anything. Why invest this much emotion? I've only left it on to see if she came back out of curiosity. Personally, I don't care anymore. Just press the unwatch at the top of the page and move on. That's what I'll do next.
> ...


It's because some of us just found the post... So for us, it's fresh.

Dani


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## knitting_mama (Jan 30, 2011)

The baby outfit that I made wasn't to what she called her standards of a perfect gift (I hate doing zippers an I think that's what she's taking about!). Basically, I told her next do it herself! Haven't spoken since, I know it's mean but, is it so wrong to take pride in what you do. Then, have someone out of the family be so mean!! I'm better off without her!


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## Daniele1969 (Aug 12, 2011)

knitting_mama said:


> The baby outfit that I made wasn't to what she called her standards of a perfect gift (I hate doing zippers an I think that's what she's taking about!). Basically, I told her next do it herself! Haven't spoken since, I know it's mean but, is it so wrong to take pride in what you do. Then, have someone out of the family be so mean!! I'm better off without her!


Zippers and Newborns DO NOT mix!!

Tell that idiot of SIL that...


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## knitting_mama (Jan 30, 2011)

OK, everyone from KP. My computer was on the fritz for about three weeks. Last night my son took my netbook because it started not running right! So, alas, I have been without an the DT's were killing me!!!! I was down for just that day, since I have made a baby layette (complete with sweater, hat, booties & blanket) for some lucky little one in the local hospital. The SIL an I aren't speaking an I'm not losing any sleep over it. Someone who doesn't appreciate something made with alot of love, isn't worth knowing. Again, I'm extremely sorry to all of you for looking like I didn't care! I DO IMMENSELY!!! Ya'll have made me see that there IS A LIGHT at the end of the tunnel. Thank you so very, very, much! I'm hoping this computer has all the bugs out of it!!! P.S. I didn't know that having computer trouble would activate such mean spirited people (you know who you are), sticks an stones, sticks an stones!!!!!


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## knitting_mama (Jan 30, 2011)

I too have been here a year an still have trouble making my way around. I just answered the 4 PM's that I had this morning. Even though it says that I'm "online", lots of times I'm not because of computer problems. An I have a bad time with remembering passwords!!!!


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

Daniele1969 said:


> bonbf3 said:
> 
> 
> > JillF said:
> ...


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

Dani - it's never too late to give an encouraging word. Very nice of you and so many others.


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## cattdages (Aug 3, 2011)

Grandma Jan said:


> It wasn't rude; it was cruel. Her intention was to hurt. I wouldn't have anything more to do with her. She's let you know who she is and where she stands.
> 
> And I would contact the recipient to find out how she felt about that incident. It could be that she was thrilled with your gift.


I have to agree. I think her intention was to hurt you. Some people are so miserable themselves they have to make other people miserable too. I think a note to the actual recipient would be a nice gesture. If it were me I would feel like I had to apologize for being a party to her shenanigans.


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## cattdages (Aug 3, 2011)

bonbf3 said:


> Daniele1969 said:
> 
> 
> > bonbf3 said:
> ...


What is your problem? If you don't like the responses hit the blue arrow to take you out of the discussion. There's a box at the bottom that says "unwatch this topic" UNCHECK IT and leave us alone. Why do you want to quash what for many of us is the only place for us to talk about this stuff in an empathetic environment?


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## morgansam51 (Apr 4, 2012)

I am so sorry you had that experience. I try not to give handmade things to anyone who doesn't really appreciate what goes into them. Your sister-in-law sounds like a real piece of work! Don't let her get you down - just pick who you give things to in the future very carefully!


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

cattdages said:


> bonbf3 said:
> 
> 
> > Daniele1969 said:
> ...


I just want everyone to know that I did NOT write the above post that starts with "What is your problem?" In fact, this is the first I've evenn read that one. I agree with it, but I can't take credit for it. Sometimes my posts don't show up, so I don't have this posting business mastered yet.


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## knitting_mama (Jan 30, 2011)

exactly! I'm not meaning to pick on any one person! An I suppose I deserved the flack but, I'm not appologizing to anyone who just wants to find fault with someone else because they haven't been ABLE TO GET ONLINE in awhile! Ya'll have a nice day!!!!!!


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## knitting_mama (Jan 30, 2011)

Sticks an stones may break me but words will never hurt me!


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

knitting_mama said:


> exactly! I'm not meaning to pick on any one person! An I suppose I deserved the flack but, I'm not appologizing to anyone who just wants to find fault with someone else because they haven't been ABLE TO GET ONLINE in awhile! Ya'll have a nice day!!!!!!


You are right.


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## knitting_mama (Jan 30, 2011)

Thank you everyone! It's been encouraging an helpful. Have a beautiful day where ever you are! This subject is CLOSED!!!!


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## jeannewmie (Aug 12, 2011)

Phoenix said:


> vjh1530 said:
> 
> 
> > She has been online. She posted a comment on another thread yesterday. And she didn't sound at all traumatized. She sounded quite perky, actually:
> ...


Agreed! Are we a forum of support, or not? Let's be about belief in each other and lifting each other up. If we deal honestly with people, I think the same should be offered to our friends here. Jeanne


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## Kelly2011 (Nov 24, 2011)

vjh1530 said:


> She has been online. She posted a comment on another thread yesterday. And she didn't sound at all traumatized. She sounded quite perky, actually: http://www.knittingparadise.com/t-74338-2.html#1373213
> 
> Something is not right with this. I think this was a game for her.


The point is not whether she is capable of laughing while going through a difficult situation or not. The point is that I'm the one who challenged that this might be a fake thread and questioned why she had not responded to 30+ pages of comments and her defense has been that her computer wasn't working. However, *during that time that she claims her computer was not working, she specifically went to one of my threads (AFTER I challenged this ridiculous thread) and made a comment on it - JUST to let ME know that she was online and paying attention to the comments.* So she WAS online *after* I questioned things and could have responded at any point, but chose not to for several days. She has now hijacked my fun thread and turned that into her own special brand of fake drama.

If it looks like a drama duck, and walks like a drama duck, and quacks like a drama duck - it's a DRAMA DUCK!


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

knitting_mama said:


> Thank you everyone! It's been encouraging an helpful. Have a beautiful day where ever you are! This subject is CLOSED!!!!


Moving on! You have a beautiful day, too!


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## knitting_mama (Jan 30, 2011)

Subject CLOSED!!!!!


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## knitting_mama (Jan 30, 2011)

Kelly2011 said:


> vjh1530 said:
> 
> 
> > She has been online. She posted a comment on another thread yesterday. And she didn't sound at all traumatized. She sounded quite perky, actually: http://www.knittingparadise.com/t-74338-2.html#1373213
> ...


Did this make you feel superior? MY COMPUTER (desktop idiot!) was down I used my NETBOOK till just last week when my son took it!!! I HAVE SINCE HAD THIS DESKTOP FIXED AS MY NETBOOK ISN'T HERE!!!! Just because you think your perfect, alot of people ain't an I'm one!!SUBJECT CLOSED! Give it up!!!


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## Sugar and Spice's Mom (Aug 2, 2011)

Give it up everyone....Why in the world is Knitting Mama being so picked on???????? Let's go back to the KPers we generally are. It's such a great group and usually full of compassion. Let's be that again. As Knitting Mama says, CLOSED SUBJECT!


knitting_mama said:


> Kelly2011 said:
> 
> 
> > vjh1530 said:
> ...


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

Sugar and Spice's Mom - I agree with you one hundred per cent! Why all this animosity? I thought this was KNITTING PARADISE.


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## Sugar and Spice's Mom (Aug 2, 2011)

It was knitting paradise, and we need to get it back to that. Thanks bonbf3


bonbf3 said:


> Sugar and Spice's Mom - I agree with you one hundred per cent! Why all this animosity? I thought this was KNITTING PARADISE.


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## ert (May 9, 2011)

bonbf3 said:


> Sugar and Spice's Mom - I agree with you one hundred per cent! Why all this animosity? I thought this was KNITTING PARADISE.


Ditto!!!


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## ginger c (Apr 8, 2012)

Please don"t frett over people like this they are not worth it. Such obnoxious behavier, her life must be miserable.


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

Now - let's all go back to being knitting friends!


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## lvsroses (Feb 21, 2012)

Amen to that!!!


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## knitting_mama (Jan 30, 2011)

I have tried to close this an as you all can see it isn't! How on earth do you cancel this posting??? I've got better things to do than be knit-picked on. I have baby gifts to be done. Bye!


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## Sugar and Spice's Mom (Aug 2, 2011)

Try contacting Admin and ask them to remove it.


knitting_mama said:


> I have tried to close this an as you all can see it isn't! How on earth do you cancel this posting??? I've got better things to do than be knit-picked on. I have baby gifts to be done. Bye!


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## knitting_mama (Jan 30, 2011)

Thank you Sugar and Spice. As I said before, ya'll have been very helpful now enough is enough. I hope to post this baby layette that I'm working on soon! Thank you my friends at KP!!!!


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## Phoenix (Oct 2, 2011)

I apologize for anything I might have said that caused hard feelings...Namaste..........


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## knitting_mama (Jan 30, 2011)

Phoenix said:


> I apologize for anything I might have said that caused hard feelings...Namaste..........


It's ok! I'm a big girl with broad shoulders. An I don't hold grudges. I had it coming by not replying on time but, I'm not always online like it says.....I have problems remembering all the passwords (every one is different!) so, I just don't sign off. Anyway, ya'll have helped me immensely with problems an I'm happy just to sit on the sidelines! Take Care!


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## knitting_mama (Jan 30, 2011)

pprose said:


> vjh1530 said:
> 
> 
> > Phoenix said:
> ...


I happen to like wolves, thank you very much! An I owned one!! An I just don't make one type of baby ensemble. I have TONS...which one would you like to see?


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## lvsroses (Feb 21, 2012)

You and me both..less than a month to get a layette done...but that's ok, every stitch is done with love. :wink:


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## knitting_mama (Jan 30, 2011)

I don't work on just one item at a time! For instance, I have 5 outfits that I'm working on. I get bored with one pattern, I pick up something else. What's wrong with that??? Sometimes I'm up till the wee hours (4 or 6 a.m.) working on a project. I'm all done having babies so what's the problem? Some people do drugs, some are adult abusers an some just like to sit an knit! I get the most pleasure from knitting in the wee hours cause my husband doesn't bother me as much! BTW, he has lung cancer so it takes ALOT of my time knitting away during the day!!!!! Those that want to follow me, I'm mostly on Yahoo. I don't like social sites for this reason. bye!


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## Phoenix (Oct 2, 2011)

knitting_mama said:


> I don't work on just one item at a time! For instance, I have 5 outfits that I'm working on. I get bored with one pattern, I pick up something else. What's wrong with that???


I do this, too...that's why I have about 10 WIPs around...LOL


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## knitting_mama (Jan 30, 2011)

I have a lacy (first attempt) short-sleeved sweater that I'm making for myself for the first time in ages.


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## Phoenix (Oct 2, 2011)

knitting_mama said:


> I have a lacy (first attempt) short-sleeved sweater that I'm making for myself for the first time in ages.


I'm not brave enough to tackle a garment....just dishcloths, scarves and hats....I attempted a pair of mittens during Christmas and got one done...LOL...I made a pair of slippers and miscounted and one was smaller than the other...LOL...I need lots more "training" before going to something big...LOL


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## FrannyGrace (Dec 25, 2011)

Oooh, me, too! A friend of mine wore a cute tee shirt type lacy overblouse over a tank top to church Sunday and I have decided that's what I'm going to wear this summer! I found a bunch of that type of patterns online and now to get the yarn & start knitting!
Welcome back.


knitting_mama said:


> I have a lacy (first attempt) short-sleeved sweater that I'm making for myself for the first time in ages.


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## Donnabellah (Jul 12, 2011)

It is so hard to be forgiving when the stab has been sunk in so deep. I am so sorry you had to hear and see this. Your SIL is a snot and a brat and I would avoid her as much as you can. Please don't get in lather about it. Just try to learn who to grace with your wonderful efforts and leave the rest behind. Never make anything for that person again!


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## DickWorrall (May 9, 2011)

I was reading this again today and thought of my in laws.
We haven't reunited in several years.
My wife had a fight with them in the early 90's and it
is still going on.
We used to do a lot of crafts at Christmas.
This one particular year, we did our usual. But, this time,
we traveled to Cape Cod to get things. It was about and hour
and a half ride for us. 
We bought a wine set with ships etched on the glasses and
decanter. My brother in law opened it up and said, "From Dick
and Louise." Then, just tossed it aside and continued
to open other presents and hold them up with pride
for all to see.
It was a few years later, that we didn't buy that much for them,
so, we gave them a gift certificate to their favorite restaurant.
My brother in law's wife opened it this time. 
She said, " You shouldn't have done so much."
I said, " We do that every year."
She said, "You do?"
Never appreciated and never thanked. Kind of a, what are
you two doing here attitude.
The first Christmas that we didn't get together, we went
to the Cape Cod for 2 nights. We got there Christmas eve
and had a wonderful time. Just the two of us.
We have saved so much money over the years not having
to go to Christmas gatherings, Easter gatherings and weddings.
My wife feels bad. But, I don't mind. It is a lot less expensive
and we can spend our time and money on friends that 
we like and like us.
My wife has a sister and 2 brothers that don't talk to us.
We get together with my family now.
Dick


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## Phoenix (Oct 2, 2011)

DickWorrall said:


> I was reading this again today and thought of my in laws.
> We haven't reunited in several years.
> My wife had a fight with them in the early 90's and it
> is still going on.
> ...


I know the feeling well...I'd rather have a root canal than be around some of my family...............


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## MarilynKnits (Aug 30, 2011)

Wow this has been enough drama for Monica Ferris to use as the basis of a novel. Evil SIL is murdered and nobody cares who did it? A KP friend quietly "took care of her" and made the world a better place? Glad Knitting Mama has a sense of humor and has not let the rhymes with witch make her permanently unhappy. But wow, how it brought out the inner rhymes with out in some of our knitting sisters. 

On to the next string - - -


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## jackki (Dec 21, 2011)

knitting_mama said:


> I don't work on just one item at a time! For instance, I have 5 outfits that I'm working on. I get bored with one pattern, I pick up something else. What's wrong with that??? Sometimes I'm up till the wee hours (4 or 6 a.m.) working on a project. I'm all done having babies so what's the problem? Some people do drugs, some are adult abusers an some just like to sit an knit! I get the most pleasure from knitting in the wee hours cause my husband doesn't bother me as much! BTW, he has lung cancer so it takes ALOT of my time knitting away during the day!!!!! Those that want to follow me, I'm mostly on Yahoo. I don't like social sites for this reason. bye!


I am so sorry to hear of your husband's ill health and recognise that this will also place a strain on you. God's blessings to both of you and you are both in my prayers.


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## aliciawake (Jun 21, 2011)

i would have used some choice words and taken the bag home with me.


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## North Pole (Oct 11, 2011)

mojave said:


> courier770 said:
> 
> 
> > mojave, you are much too kind. Me, I'd paste a photo of her on a dartboard and get my frustrations out that way...then nicely put the photo in a frame, holes and all and display it in my home!
> ...


My first thought on reading of this woman's behavior was not that she was rude but that she was mentally imbalanced. Sociopath is probably a good diagnosis.


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## sdostman (Jun 9, 2011)

Knitting Mama I don't blame you I wouldn't be talking to her either. I had a similar experience. Made a Christening dress for my granddaughter. When I got to the service she was wearing a different one. When I asked about the one I made my then daughter-in-law said she didn't liked the way it fit and wasn't gonna use it so she cut it. I was crushed I had put so much time into that. It would have been better if she had just returned it so I could gift it to someone else instead of ruining it. I too did not speak to her for a very long long time. By the way, is than an American Eskimo you have? I also am from upstate western Ny and have an American Eskimo. They are great companions.


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## pattycake61 (Jan 30, 2011)

knitting_mama said:


> I went to a baby shower last week, 7th of April. Prior to going my sister-in-law asked me to make a baby outfit, booties an a blanket to fit a bassinet for a baby boy . I got them done the day of the event. She took it into the place where it was, showed it to the expectant parents, then, said, "just accept this an when you get home trash it." She wadded it up an threw it in what looked like a bag for the plastic dinnerware that had been used. I know she said an did this as I was standing 6 ft. away from her. I felt miserable the rest of the event, no one saw it!! I stayed for the two hours then, called my husband to come get me. It never really hit home till the next day an I cried my eyes out cause I take great pride in making things for newborns. I haven't spoken to her since.....my husband's on his own cause it's his sister! I refuse to do ANYTHING FOR HER!


I agree with others, she is probably jealous~!
I too, have had my gifts treated like nothing--- but I live & learn & NEVER gift those again.


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## bizzy (Apr 29, 2011)

I don't understand? She obviously had seen your work before. If she doesn't like your work why did she ask. Did She not have money to buy something on her own? Why be so cruel and inconsiderate? It was such a hurtful act from someone you obviously trusted. Please at least send Her a bill (in the mail) for your time a materials and add a little extra for the rush job. I would keep everything between Her and you totally impersonal from now on. 
I'm sorry this has happened to you. I can't imagine how I would feel if one of my SILs treated me this way. We are all so close, it would create quite a rift in the family.


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## rjhandmade (Feb 15, 2012)

I don't think there is a way to close a topic once opened and this was like opening pandora's box. It took on a life of it's own. I think b/c so many of us can relate to feeling that way at some time or other. I look forward to seeing some of the things you are working on. I have not posted a picture yet, but I too have at least 2 things at a time. I usually try to make one knitting and one crochet since sometimes holding the needles or hook get to me and need to do something else, when I watch tv. It helps tobe busy and not think of food. During the day though when not busy I make cards and do a little sewing (by no means am I much good) When my daughter got married her room became my craft room, need to start painting another bird house.


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## Phoenix (Oct 2, 2011)

Well, as long as people don't get snarky (and I am as guilty as anyone else of doing that!!!) there's no reason to close the topic. It gives people a place to vent about their own difficult situations. I'm working on not being snarky...really I am...LOL


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## silvercharms (Mar 29, 2011)

Phoenix said:


> Well, as long as people don't get snarky (and I am as guilty as anyone else of doing that!!!) there's no reason to close the topic. It gives people a place to vent about their own difficult situations. I'm working on not being snarky...really I am...LOL


OK then, Phoenix, I'm on. I've wanted to say this for ages.

I have several times on KP been in a friendly PM conversation when the other person abruptly stops.

If I didn't want to continue a PM conversation, I would send a kindly sign-off message, or just continue writing less and less .

Of course I blame myself, and think it is something wrong that I did, and it hurts! Am I being over-sensitive, or is there something I'm missing here?


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## mavisb (Apr 18, 2011)

I wouldn't have been able to contain myself, I would have said if you don't want what I knitted, I will take it back and you get nothing, as I worked hard making the item and paying for it. This would have made her so uncomfortable.


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

I'm a relative newcomer, and I'm still learning how to navigate on these different topics. I hope I didn't stop abruptly. I only started one topic, and I got some nice responses. Then I thought it was over. I guess people respond to a topic long after it's been opened. There must be a way to close one out. I'll have to check on mine. It was on knitting dish cloths.


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## soneka (Feb 8, 2011)

bonbf3 said:


> I'm a relative newcomer, and I'm still learning how to navigate on these different topics. I hope I didn't stop abruptly. I only started one topic, and I got some nice responses. Then I thought it was over. I guess people respond to a topic long after it's been opened. There must be a way to close one out. I'll have to check on mine. It was on knitting dish cloths.


Sometimes we KPers are doing 'catch-up' and we find a newsletter a month old in our mail, read it and make comments. So some seemingly old subjects are opened up again.


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

I do the same thing. I should have realized that could happen. This is a great forum - so much to learn from so many very talented people!


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## silvercharms (Mar 29, 2011)

No, I certainly didn't mean on the threads, where everyone has their say!
No, I meant in private messages ... that's very different.


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## Phoenix (Oct 2, 2011)

silvercharms said:


> Phoenix said:
> 
> 
> > Well, as long as people don't get snarky (and I am as guilty as anyone else of doing that!!!) there's no reason to close the topic. It gives people a place to vent about their own difficult situations. I'm working on not being snarky...really I am...LOL
> ...


Well....there could be any number of reasons someone stops talking....from my own personal experience, I multi-task....and sometimes I get so caught up in doing something else that I forget I was talking to someone. Anyone that knows me knows that and accepts it from me....even though I do concede that I should have at least told that other person, no matter how much later I remembered...LOL...that was the reason. I've also been on the flip side of this....I've had people stop talking to me....and even though I might wonder if it was something I said, I don't dwell on it. People are people....you just get over it I guess...LOL...sorry if I wasn't much help................

oooppppssss....I was distracted by something on tv.........LOL....sorry....lame attempt at humor.....


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## Phoenix (Oct 2, 2011)

bonbf3 said:


> I do the same thing. I should have realized that could happen. This is a great forum - so much to learn from so many very talented people!


You're right....there are some extremely talented people on here. I enjoy reading comments, seeing all the beautiful things people have created....I'm a basic crocheter...just learning to knit (slowly...like a snail!!!...LOL) and I envy so much talent. And, for the most part, people are very willing to help each other out. But, just like in a real-life family, we get testy and out of sorts sometimes and end up lashing out at our "family"....but hopefully we can "kiss and make up" when the mood has passed...LOL


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

That's right!


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## silvercharms (Mar 29, 2011)

Wouldn't it be very dull if we were all even-tempered, nice and agreeable? BORING!

We're all crabby from time to time, but at least we apologise later - mostly.

I'm sure you're right, Phoenix, about just forgetting about the lack of response, and I'm just a worryguts who thinks it's something I've done. Will try to remember that nt everyone thinks as I do!


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## Phoenix (Oct 2, 2011)

I've run across a few who seem to have terminal PMS but, thank goodness, not many!!!...LOL


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## nannyberfa (Oct 9, 2011)

A lot of times peoples computers freeze, power outages(this has happened to me alot!) So just bear with them.


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## Anitabee (Feb 15, 2012)

Mabye when we're finished talking we could just write "signing
off."


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## Sugar and Spice's Mom (Aug 2, 2011)

Good idea......I'm signing off.


Anitabee said:


> Mabye when we're finished talking we could just write "signing
> off."


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