# No Thanks



## jeannietta (Mar 14, 2011)

I am getting really fed up with giving hand knits to new Moms and not getting a simple thanks. I always include my full name and address with every gift. Do I have to add a stamped self addressed envelope too? I let it go for 3 months. But after that it just burns me up. I know I should pick up the phone and ask how they liked the gift, but I resent having to do that. I am at the point of just knitting for my immediate family. Just venting.


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## Chrissy (May 3, 2011)

Just knit for those people who DO appreciate what you make. :thumbup:


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## Gerripho (Dec 7, 2013)

Don't bother with the stamped self addressed envelope. I once gave a lovely gift -- too expensive really for my finances at the time -- to the daughter of a dear friend for her wedding. Got absolutely no thanks whatsoever. Six months later, for her baby shower, I actually gave her thank you notes and stamps. I still got nothing!


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## desireeross (Jun 2, 2013)

I don't knit as gifts for those reasons. If someone wants something they will ask. Way too much time and energy going into something made with love and just pushed to the back of the wardrobe


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## bobctwn65 (Jul 27, 2012)

expect nothing ,appreciate everything..except the joy it gave you to make it as your thank you..because most likely after three months your not going to get one..


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## marilyngf (Nov 5, 2011)

Please don't be too upset. When I give a handknit as a gift I no longer lay claim to it. If there is no feedback on it....they will no longer receive my work if it is not appreciated. There are many people that would love to have it.


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## Serene Knitter (Aug 22, 2011)

Only give your knitted love to those who are knit worthy. The rest can have your trip to the store love.


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## Bigitheknitter (Apr 4, 2014)

Before giving any knit item ask. As I have also been there. Now I ask if they would like it. If not there are others who will appreciate the gift. You are not alone.


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## vikicooks (Nov 1, 2013)

I have made two baby blankets recently: never heard from one lady , the other sent a thank you and a picture of the baby wrapped in the blanket.


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## PatofWi (Apr 14, 2014)

Chrissy said:


> Just knit for those people who DO appreciate what you make. :thumbup:


 :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## jeannietta (Mar 14, 2011)

vikicooks said:


> I have made two baby blankets recently: never heard from one lady , the other sent a thank you and a picture of the baby wrapped in the blanket.


A picture of the baby using the present would be the ultimate gift! You were very lucky. I have gotten a few of those, but not many.


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## abc123retired (Nov 1, 2011)

Forego the gifting side of your knitting and be happy you have an immediate family to knit for. My immediate family wont wear my knits. My daughter despises handmade items. I knit a hat for my GD and 2 days later a store bought one arrived to take its place. So here I am, retired, with time on my hands and I love to knit. I knit doll clothes. The five American Girl dolls that reside here are allowed to wear my knits and even get nice comments on their apparel at times. Knit because you knit. Why give it away to ungrateful people?


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## jonibee (Nov 3, 2011)

I can understand how unappreciative your recipients are. It seems manners have taken a back seat now a days..I just come out and ask them if they liked their gift via verbal or e-mail. Sometimes it puts them on a spot, but next time they may say Thank You for your thoughtfulness..it costs nothing but means alot espeically the next time around.


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## janielha (Dec 20, 2012)

I've made baby blankets and outfits for family members and not received a thank you. I truly don't think it's because they don't like and appreciate the gift, it just seems to be the way of young people these days. But I make the gift anyway. Would I like a Thank You? You bet!


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## sylviaelliott (May 11, 2011)

jeannietta said:


> I am getting really fed up with giving hand knits to new Moms and not getting a simple thanks. I always include my full name and address with every gift. Do I have to add a stamped self addressed envelope too? I let it go for 3 months. But after that it just burns me up. I know I should pick up the phone and ask how they liked the gift, but I resent having to do that. I am at the point of just knitting for my immediate family. Just venting.


knit for the hospitals. they really do appreciate everything.


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## bevmckay (Feb 28, 2012)

I just knit for my sisters new little grandaughter because she requests things or shall I say she puts not so subtle hints in her emails. I always get lovely thankyous from her!


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## Coral McRae (Jul 23, 2013)

I think even a text would show appreciation.

My step-daughter never says thank you. I stopped sending gifts to her. I used to phone the post office to find out if she had it! Then gave up.

(A BTW: her last contact with her dad she was to return a call to say what his grand child would like for his birthday, that was December last year, we are still waiting for a return call).


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## Coral McRae (Jul 23, 2013)

I think even a text would show appreciation.

My step-daughter never says thank you. I stopped sending gifts to her. I used to phone the post office to find out if she had it! Then gave up.

(A BTW: her last contact with her dad she was to return a call to say what his grand child would like for his birthday, that was December last year, we are still waiting for a return call).


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## cindye6556 (Apr 6, 2011)

Unfortunately I'm afraid it's a sign of the times. We now have a "younger" generation lives in a "give me" world, "I expect it, I deserve it, I demand it." Spoiled, and give no thought to those that sacrificed to give it to them. Simple manners are a thing of the past. Be it gifts we give, holding a door for them, or letting them in line at the store when they only have a couple of items, versus my buggy full. I used to say "You're welcome" in my best "mom voice" to those that forgot or couldn't be bothered with a simple thanks but now I just save my breath, since all I received in return was a dirty look.


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## kerrie35094 (Jul 2, 2011)

sylviaelliott said:


> knit for the hospitals. they really do appreciate
> everything.


Not necessarily. I sent a box full of burial pockets to a local hospital. They knew what I was doing and gave specific instructions as to where to send them, etc. Four weeks later I called to see if they had received them and was told yes, they were so cute! Really? As to size, color, feedback, they would get back to me immediately. That was weeks and weeks ago. I have a friend who is head chaplain at another hospital and will soon be contacting Gary to see if they would be more appreciated at his hospital.


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## Mikaiyawa (Mar 1, 2013)

I'm sorry to say that is why I knit for a very small selection of people.

It made me smile though, when a friend I'd knitted a set of teal cotton gauntlets for (long fingerless gloves) grumped that it was to warm to wear them.


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## Jalsh (Aug 6, 2012)

I doubt that you would have gotten a thank you for anything that you sent, I think that it is probably not the gift but the person. Last year I sent two graduates generous checks. I had to look at my bank statement to see if the checks were cashed. This behavior is insulting and bewildering and to me reflects poorly on them and their upbringing.


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## bwtyer (Oct 31, 2012)

bobctwn65 said:


> expect nothing ,appreciate everything..except the joy it gave you to make it as your thank you..because most likely after three months your not going to get one..


This is true! Young people do not think along the same lines we do - my daughters do because they have seen how much work goes into making something but those who have non-crafty parents really have no idea.


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## seamer45 (Jan 18, 2011)

Two things, first, if you really want to,or have to knit for certain folks, go ahead.Continue to include your full name, address, and phone or even email. Wait for 6 weeks tops, then call and say 'oh, your thank you note must have been lost in the mail, did you like the gift?" 
Then vow never to make anything for anyone you are sure won't send a note.


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## desireeross (Jun 2, 2013)

cindye6556 said:


> Unfortunately I'm afraid it's a sign of the times. We now have a "younger" generation lives in a "give me" world, "I expect it, I deserve it, I demand it." Spoiled, and give no thought to those that sacrificed to give it to them. Simple manners are a thing of the past. Be it gifts we give, holding a door for them, or letting them in line at the store when they only have a couple of items, versus my buggy full. I used to say "You're welcome" in my best "mom voice" to those that forgot or couldn't be bothered with a simple thanks but now I just save my breath, since all I received in return was a dirty look.


So true. My husband has a 17 year old son who inherited his old car. He's done nothing but complain. It came to a head the other day when he threw at hubby how much money he'd made last year so why couldn't he buy him a decent car. Hubby's answer was 'I earned my money because I worked hard for it. Go work and buy your own car.'


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## chickkie (Oct 26, 2011)

reminds me of a story about a grandmother that always gave her family a substantial gift of money every year, sent checks and never got a reply

one year she didn't sign the checks - everyone called her


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## Pocahontas (Apr 15, 2011)

chickkie said:


> reminds me of a story about a grandmother that always gave her family a substantial gift of money every year, sent checks and never got a reply
> 
> one year she didn't sign the checks - everyone called her


Lol - that's a good one! :lol: :lol:


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## DonnieK (Nov 23, 2011)

I am able to cut "first time new mommies" some slack after being with my kids when my gs was born. They really are in a learning curve the first couple of months. But, I can say that my DIL bought Thank You notes and one night I got up about 3am for water and there she was writing them all out. I was very proud of her. I picked up one of them and she had mentioned each item sent to her. That is very rare, but her Grandmother raised her the old school ways.
I refuse to knit for anyone in particular because of lack of manners and indifference.


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## bobctwn65 (Jul 27, 2012)

on most of the things I give I get a verbal response. and sometimes a hug..and that is enough for me..


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## Mikaiyawa (Mar 1, 2013)

bobctwn65 said:


> on most of the things I give I get a verbal response. and sometimes a hug..and that is enough for me..


but you are getting a response. so often even face to face it's "oh, okay" and flat out indifference.

a face to face thank you is fine to me.


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## PaKnitter (Mar 7, 2011)

kerrie35094 said:


> Not necessarily. I sent a box full of burial pockets to a local hospital. They knew what I was doing and gave specific instructions as to where to send them, etc. Four weeks later I called to see if they had received them and was told yes, they were so cute! Really? As to size, color, feedback, they would get back to me immediately. That was weeks and weeks ago. I have a friend who is head chaplain at another hospital and will soon be contacting Gary to see if they would be more appreciated at his hospital.


Sadly there are some charities that don't seem to appreciate anything either and it does hurt those who really are in need. 
It takes a lot of time to weed out the bad but so worth it when you find the right ones.


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## vikicooks (Nov 1, 2013)

desireeross said:


> So true. My husband has a 17 year old son who inherited his old car. He's done nothing but complain. It came to a head the other day when he threw at hubby how much money he'd made last year so why couldn't he buy him a decent car. Hubby's answer was 'I earned my money because I worked hard for it. Go work and buy your own car.'


Good for your husband! Many parents cave into the guilt they feel over what ever it is that their kids can make them feel guilty about!


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## MzKnitCro (May 29, 2012)

You could call to see how they are doing, and casually mention your knits.



jeannietta said:


> I am getting really fed up with giving hand knits to new Moms and not getting a simple thanks. I always include my full name and address with every gift. Do I have to add a stamped self addressed envelope too? I let it go for 3 months. But after that it just burns me up. I know I should pick up the phone and ask how they liked the gift, but I resent having to do that. I am at the point of just knitting for my immediate family. Just venting.


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## Mercygirl76 (Dec 30, 2012)

DonnieK said:


> I am able to cut "first time new mommies" some slack after being with my kids when my gs was born. They really are in a learning curve the first couple of months. But, I can say that my DIL bought Thank You notes and one night I got up about 3am for water and there she was writing them all out. I was very proud of her. I picked up one of them and she had mentioned each item sent to her. That is very rare, but her Grandmother raised her the old school ways.
> I refuse to knit for anyone in particular because of lack of manners and indifference.


 :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: 
I can definitely relate to this. My DIL has sent out thank you cards after each baby shower she had within a day or so of the shower! She also did it correctly, mentioning the item she was thinking them for. She, too was taught proper etiquette. When she received gifts from church members after each child was born, she made sure that the thank you notes went out that week --- AND she made my DS sign them, too! I loved that touch!


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## kimmyz (May 9, 2011)

It is very disconcerting not to have any acknowledgement/thanks for all your hard work. It's actually rude not to thank someone, even if you don't like the item. I don't think a lot of people realize how much time and effort is involved in hand-knitting. And of course, there's the matter of TASTE which may be more important than the fact that's it's hand-knitted.

One thing you might do is to ask ahead of time if they like hand-knitting, and then ask them to pick out a pattern and the yarn of their choice. This is about the only way you can be assured that they'll like what you knit.

I've had pretty good luck with my gifts. People really seem to like what I make, and only once did I not receive a "thank you". It was a gift to a teenager, so I'll just have to assume that she didn't like it or perhaps lost track of exactly who gave it to her.

I'd never ask anyone if they liked something. If you don't get any thanks, cross them off your list for good. There are plenty of charities that would love hand-knit items for children or adults.


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## docdot (Jul 11, 2013)

If you knit for a charity, be sure that someone is overseeing the distribution. Some of us knit for the new borns and chemo patients in a tiny Appalachian community. 
It was discovered that folks working in the hospital were taking things from the cupboard. 
Now the Chaplain disperses the items.


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## desireeross (Jun 2, 2013)

DonnieK said:


> I am able to cut "first time new mommies" some slack after being with my kids when my gs was born. They really are in a learning curve the first couple of months. But, I can say that my DIL bought Thank You notes and one night I got up about 3am for water and there she was writing them all out. I was very proud of her. I picked up one of them and she had mentioned each item sent to her. That is very rare, but her Grandmother raised her the old school ways.
> I refuse to knit for anyone in particular because of lack of manners and indifference.


My daughter did the same but then we drilled manners into our kids from day one. Before they could write they would draw a thank you card and 'sign' it.


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## Montana Gramma (Dec 19, 2012)

Ah, the thankyou issue. This is a cute twist. Sent a gift to a wedding in California. I knew both well so was perplexed at no acknowledgement. Anyways, a couple mos. later along comes a thankyou, " so sorry we are late telling you thankyou, but we do not know what you sent us!" Apparently there came up a huge wind storm and blew all the gifts and cards etc all over the orchard and workers were still finding things weeks later! His Mom told me the outdoor wedding was a bit of a shambles! They eventually matched the majority of cards to gifts but had to ask the parents to tell friends the dilemma and hope they mentioned if they sent a gift or not!


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## StitchDesigner (Jan 24, 2011)

In this day of instant messaging and bratty kids you're expecting a Thank You card? Not any more!


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## cynthia627 (Sep 15, 2013)

I hate to say this but I find that young people look down on hand knitted/crocheted items. They think they are tacky!!! imagine that!! So expecting a thank you probably won't happen.

They would rather buy something created in a sweatshop with a designer price tag than have a quality hand made item. 

Has anyone encountered this? It was basically the reason I stopped knitting and crocheting years ago because my kids felt they were too old for mom's had made items. They felt they looked like the poor kids and not like the well-to-do kids in their designer wear!!!!


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## Xay-Zays.auntie (Aug 26, 2013)

cynthia627 said:


> I hate to say this but I find that young people look down on hand knitted/crocheted items. They think they are tacky!!! imagine that!! So expecting a thank you probably won't happen.
> 
> They would rather buy something created in a sweatshop with a designer price tag than have a quality hand made item.
> 
> Has anyone encountered this? It was basically the reason I stopped knitting and crocheting years ago because my kids felt they were too old for mom's had made items. They felt they looked like the poor kids and not like the well-to-do kids in their designer wear!!!!


I haven't ventured into clothing to fit my children yet, but my son requested a pillow, which of course I made, and I finished his blanket within the last month. He loves both, and uses them every night. My son is 12. My DD, on the other hand, hasn't requested anything -yet. She has a zebra/peace sign quilt, made last year, that she uses, and she is 17.


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## Jessica-Jean (Mar 14, 2011)

Do you ever wonder just why do so many knitters, myself included, donate their knits to charities? 
Have they no one to knit for? 
Some may not, but many of us have siblings, aunts, uncles, parents, children, nieces, nephews, cousins - and if we're married, our spouse's extended family to boot. And if we're lucky enough to have friends, we might knit for them too.

However, thankless giving leaves a negative feeling, and negativity is to be eschewed, if we want to feel good about being alive.

I don't want to knit for people who can't take the time to say (by what_ever_ means of communication they please) just those two all-important words: Thank you. So, I knit to please myself. _If_ someone requests I make some specific item, I usually do it, even if I'm not too enthusiastic about knitting that item. (Latest request is for 'pocket-book slippers'.)

Since I seem to be completely addicted to the act of knitting/crocheting/playing with yarn, I make things that are donated to nameless charities. Nameless, because I give them to a fellow knitter in our group, and she totes them to an assortment of local charities. I do not want nor need to deal with the person accepting the donation. All I do is play with yarn and let someone else dispose of the excess products.

Doing it this way leaves me feeling good for having enjoyed the knitting _and_ for having donated the item to an organization which will use it.

Perhaps worse than not receiving a thank you is learning that the knitted item is considered too good to use! What?!? 
My step-mother used to love to show me the gorgeous afghans a good friend of hers had given her. To show me them, she had to take them from the closet where they were permanently stored inside thick plastic bags. She took them down, out of their bags, had me admire them for a few minutes, and swiftly stowed them back away! She never, _ever_ used them! When she died, neither I nor my sisters wanted them. We had no warm fuzzy feelings from them, because we'd never seen them wrapped around mom or trailing from her furniture. They were sterile showpieces. I don't know if either of her daughters kept any for their almost-adult kids, but I assume so. What _was_ wanted were the plainer blankets I'd made and which - because they hadn't been too-pretty-to-use - *did* have warm, fuzzy associations for all of us.

For those knitters whose families and friends are truly appreciative of your work - *and say so* , rejoice! You are the lucky ones.


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## kmangal16 (Mar 26, 2013)

desireeross said:


> I don't knit as gifts for those reasons. If someone wants something they will ask. Way too much time and energy going into something made with love and just pushed to the back of the wardrobe


Like you, I only knit for family and friends if they specifically ask for something. Otherwise I knit for charity or to sell off to buy more yarn.


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## kmangal16 (Mar 26, 2013)

Jessica-Jean said:


> Do you ever wonder just why do so many knitters, myself included, donate their knits to charities?
> Have they no one to knit for?
> Some may not, but many of us have siblings, aunts, uncles, parents, children, nieces, nephews, cousins - and if we're married, our spouse's extended family to boot. And if we're lucky enough to have friends, we might knit for them too.
> 
> ...


 :thumbup:


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## Donnathomp (May 5, 2012)

The greatest man who ever lived said, "There is more happiness in giving than there is in receiving.". (Acts 20:35)


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## bettyirene (Apr 5, 2012)

There are a lot of us, receiving the same treatment...treat them, as they treat you....


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## mac.worrall (Jun 24, 2011)

desireeross said:


> I don't knit as gifts for those reasons. If someone wants something they will ask. Way too much time and energy going into something made with love and just pushed to the back of the wardrobe


I absolutely agree.


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## mac.worrall (Jun 24, 2011)

desireeross said:


> I don't knit as gifts for those reasons. If someone wants something they will ask. Way too much time and energy going into something made with love and just pushed to the back of the wardrobe


I absolutely agree.


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## Kneez (Nov 30, 2012)

sylviaelliott said:


> knit for the hospitals. they really do appreciate everything.


I totally agree with you😊! Or I also make items that can be raffled for good causes💐💐


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## jonibee (Nov 3, 2011)

Only knit for worthwhile things, for charitable caises, an ophanage, the homeless, cancer patients, preemies. Eventho you may never receive a direct reply ...it will be well appreciated, and you will have a good feeling in your heart that you helped make someone feel "Special"..


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## Marny CA (Jun 26, 2011)

I had to learn that if I want to make a gift for someone, then I am doing so not to get thanks but to give love.

Then, of course, there is always that time when that tiny part of me wants an even tinier bit of recognition.

Somehow, that is when I say to myself STOP. I would rather make for charity where it's fun for me to think about who will be wearing my 'thing' - and not be upset that my daughter said she loved the afghan and the shawl and got compliments - but didn't think it important enough to send me pictures, when I was asking out of excitement that she 'really liked' those items.

Either I make and give without expectations, or I don't 'give grudgingly.'


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## april1963 (May 29, 2013)

The problem is everywhere. We sponsor awards for 4-H and unless it is an animal (livestock) project we do not get a thank you either. For animal projects to receive your check you must hand a thank you card to the advisor so they can pick up your check....no thank no check. I know the protects we sponsor cost less than livestock but the premiums are in line with the award. Talked to many people even at state level, same thing.....-oh well, you sponsor so the child will learn the project. Manners must b4 taught somewhere.


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## Knitter forever (Dec 11, 2011)

That's why I knit for charity.


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## emuears (Oct 13, 2012)

I am very lucky with family, I always get a thank you for gifts that I give to grandchildren. I think it is how they are raised , my daughter was raised to send thank you notes, before the days of emails and text messages, she raised her children with the same good manners.
I made a christening shawl for a friends first grandchild , two ply wool, expensive and it took me many months to do. The girl thought it was a table cloth and my friends son thought it was a floor rug. She asked "Can I wash it in the machine" I said "If you want it to look like a floor rug you can" No thank you was forthcoming. Bad manners seem to be the norm now.


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## scottishlass (Jul 12, 2012)

I know how you feel this subject came up about two weeks ago and the replies to you are sympathetic The replies two weeks ago were more supporting of the non replying recipients
I'm so sorry you had to go thru that with all the love and labour we put in to out knits a thank you ( not praise just a simple thank you) you be nice.


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## jkessler (Apr 30, 2014)

I know how you feel. I have a DiL that never says thank you for anything I send her or the grandkids. My son remembers to say thank you when I ask if the package arrived. :-(


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## momcat531 (Oct 27, 2011)

I love to knit so I make hats for the homeless. When I take them to the center they are very grateful.


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## Miri (Dec 17, 2011)

jeannietta said:


> I am getting really fed up with giving hand knits to new Moms and not getting a simple thanks. I always include my full name and address with every gift. Do I have to add a stamped self addressed envelope too? I let it go for 3 months. But after that it just burns me up. I know I should pick up the phone and ask how they liked the gift, but I resent having to do that. I am at the point of just knitting for my immediate family. Just venting.


There seems to be a dreadful lack of respect and appreciation going around. When I remember that as a child, receiving a gift, I always sat down and hand wrote a thank you note to the person who gave it to me. Nowadays there isn't even a verbal thank you. It is as if people think they have a 'right' to everything and the art of giving and receiving is so different. I still like to give, but realise that the 'thank you' part may not happen. With knitting, I now ask a new Mum if she likes hand knits and I find out if what I would like to knit is wanted or not. If not, I just buy a gift from a shop.

I had a wonderful experience this morning. I took in several items to a charity and I was immediately thanked, and my details were taken and I was given a Certificate of Appreciation there and then, for supporting this charity. I was so pleased and had to smile. It made my day!!

More people should appreciate what others do for them. I think it is quite rude of someone to accept anything without thanks to the giver. Sometimes it is just a matter of being well mannered.

Oh, I could go on and on.................... :thumbup:


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## luree (Feb 21, 2014)

Some I never get a thanks and then there are those that I get a beautiful thank you and a picture.


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## SharonM (Nov 25, 2011)

I agree that simple manners are a thing of the past... not just for the lovely knitted gifts that are made for friends and loved ones... but in general. Every year I send generous checks to my grandchildren for their birthdays, and even more generous gifts and $$ at Christmas. They never thank me, or even acknowledge receipt. It annoys me that their parents (my son) have not taught them simple etiquette, and I don't want to punish them for their parents bad manners,so I've stopped sending the parents birthday checks. My DIL once complained that my son's father never gave him a birthday gift and my response was "when was the last time you remembered him?" BTW, they never ever send me a gift (not even a card) for my birthday, Christmas or Mother's Day.


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## rujam (Aug 19, 2011)

I'm sorry to hear that. I would only knit for the immediate family from now on.


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## zebe (Jan 2, 2013)

I've taken the aproach my dad had, He figured that if someone couldn't take the time to say thank you, he won't spent time or money on another gift. (Weddings excluded but no thank-you here and it would be the last gift) . I've taken the same approach figured if it doesn't warrant an acknowledgement , it, doesn't serve my time. Store bought or handmade makes no different. All the friends (mostly girls) my son has had over the years, once they heard from him how I felt about thank-yous, I'd get a call or text (which is fine with me ). Guess they wanted to stay on my gift list, funny how that is. Even got text from fraternity brothers about the cookies I sent up to college. They tell him howw good the cookies were, he said tell mom, I think I was the only mom to go up the house and have a group of boys give me hug thank me for cookies and shoot the breeze with me till my son showed up.


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## jemima (Mar 26, 2011)

Todays youngsters are not into hand knits so I have disscovered but it is very hurtfull when they dont respond with thanks.


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## ramram0003 (Nov 7, 2011)

jeannietta said:


> I am getting really fed up with giving hand knits to new Moms and not getting a simple thanks. I always include my full name and address with every gift. Do I have to add a stamped self addressed envelope too? I let it go for 3 months. But after that it just burns me up. I know I should pick up the phone and ask how they liked the gift, but I resent having to do that. I am at the point of just knitting for my immediate family. Just venting.


I do believe, this is the way our younger generation is. They do not believe in thank you notes or any kind of acknowledgement. Sorry to say. Now, if, you had a cellphone, they probably would have text you with a thank you. LOL Kids today do NOT communicate verbally or anything of that matter that we were taught to do "back in the day".


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## tricotmonique (Dec 2, 2011)

Yes, knit for hospitals, shelters of all kinds.


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## grandmatimestwo (Mar 30, 2011)

I'm not sure it is only handmade items that don't inspire thank you notes. I think some people just don't bother writing them, no matter what they receive.


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## knitwit549 (Oct 10, 2012)

I'm sorry for your experience, it does seem to be the "norm" nowdays. While I'm sure most, if not all of us, taught our children to write thank yous or at the very least, call, text, SOMETHING to acknowledge the gift, there seem to be a lot of folks who just can't be bothered. I think I've been VERY fortunate...I crochet a one-of-a-kind baby afghan for every new baby born to my cooworkers, and so far have gotten not only a nice card (with hand written personalized note), but also verbal (sometimes several) thank yous, accompanied by a hug. I suppose I could add that I ask the new parent to be what their colors/nursery theme is and try to make something to fit. It's helpful too, when they know the gender of the baby.


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## Linday (Jan 22, 2012)

My gift giving policy is "Once you are old enough to say thank you, verbally, by phone, by e-mail, by snail mail or any other way you can dream up, if you don't acknowledge the gift you don't get another one." My nieces and nephews know this and are quick to say thank you, the first chance they get. I have several who no longer get gifts and several who always say thank you. They are the lucky ones because my gift giving budget does not have to be stretched so far and the gifts get better with each person who does not thank me.


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## desireeross (Jun 2, 2013)

ramram0003 said:


> I do believe, this is the way our younger generation is. They do not believe in thank you notes or any kind of acknowledgement. Sorry to say. Now, if, you had a cellphone, they probably would have text you with a thank you. LOL Kids today do NOT communicate verbally or anything of that matter that we were taught to do "back in the day".


It's a bad reflection on the kids parents for not stressing about manners. When we bought our house, my husbands son, 11 at the time, came to live with us. We sat him down and taught him about manners and if he brings friends to the house and we don't get a hello, good bye, thank you it's their last visit. My husband feels feathers and has reminded kids in front of their parents when they don't say thank you. The parents get quite embarrassed and urge the kid to say something. It worked. These kids would make a point of greeting us and saying thank you.


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## justcrafty (Jun 30, 2012)

so make for those who have nothing for you will receive your rewards in other ways . keep up the good work.


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## tweeter (Dec 22, 2012)

I agree with you. they could at least send a Thank-You card or give you a call and tell you there thoughts


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## Tommier (Jul 20, 2013)

That's so sad and frustrating. All the work, thought and time you put into the gift. Stick to the Family. That way you can see it on them. I would get a Thank You at the time I gave the gift but never a formal Thank You card.


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## khites (Nov 30, 2012)

A lot of new moms do not always appreciate the beautiful handmade knit and crochet items. I go with their registry items unless I know them very well and can make sure they want a fine heirloom home made. Some adore them and others could care less! If I don't know them that well, I do not send a gift OR attend! I know of one young lady who is under the impression she has 2 years to send out thank you notes!


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## judyr (Feb 20, 2011)

I knit for charity. I do not expect any thanks. We live in a world where writing letters, sending thank you notes, saying please, thank you, excuse me - has gone by the wayside as far as simple manners are concerned. In this case, I say to use your own judgment. I think if we passed down the crocheting, knitting, and handiwork of our ancestors, we might be a more peaceful world. (Just my opinion).


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## kayortiz (Aug 12, 2013)

i have given away several knitted items over the last few years and with the exception of one baby blanket, i have not received any thank yous. the last one was for a baby shower for a young girl in my church. i hunted for 2 hours for the right pattern, had to order yarn one line and took about 20 hours to knit. no thank you. finally i asked if she liked it or i could give her something she thought she would use. got told loved it and it was waiting with the carrier for the new baby. i get tired of doing stuff for people that ask for something as well and you never see it again or get any kind of thank you. must be the new generation


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## indinana (Dec 13, 2013)

I wrote a thank you note to my adult daughter for planning a get together with her in-laws, daughter's family and hubby and me. I always taught my children that if they accept a gift they owe a thank you. She has passed this on to her children. When they have "friend" birthday parties she has the gift giver stand with my grandchild as they open the gift and she takes a picture of the two together with the gift. This is printed with a personal note by child and sent as the thank you to the giving child. She is so creatively thoughtful. I am a proud mother/nana.


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## Dobby4 (Mar 5, 2014)

What gets me is when you mail the present and get no response. I always wonder if the gift made it or did something happen to it while it was sitting on the front porch. I agree the best thank yous are a picture.


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## NYBev (Aug 23, 2011)

Chrissy said:


> Just knit for those people who DO appreciate what you make. :thumbup:


Chrissy has it right.


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## Meissnelisam (Dec 29, 2013)

My dh always says that I put so much time and effort into the things I make for my gifts. He says wouldn't it be easier to just buy something, or give money. I tell him all the time I am working on the gift, I am thinking of them, their special day. The gift itself is the loving work put into the gift, sur I would like to have a thank you, but many people are not raised that way.


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## craftymama1 (Jan 5, 2013)

I agree. A simple phone call would even go a long way. With social media the way it is these days a picture and thanks I love it is all we ask. I always like to see what a sweater looks like on and make sure it fits properly.


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## njbk55 (Apr 29, 2011)

I so understand. I sent a gift card to (Bridal shower) to my so to be niece last july. never did get a thank you. recently she decided that she did now want to be with my nephew after and went back to the father of her twin boys. I was lucky that I had just finished what was to be wedding gift. My sister saw my post on FB. Messaged me to hang on to it. As she was preparing post to let family know. Seems that a lot of younger women do not think that they need to send thank yous.


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## knit4zen (Apr 12, 2012)

bobctwn65 said:


> expect nothing ,appreciate everything..except the joy it gave you to make it as your thank you..because most likely after three months your not going to get one..


Exactly!


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## ginnyinnr (May 20, 2012)

Montana Gramma said:


> Ah, the thankyou issue. This is a cute twist. Sent a gift to a wedding in California. I knew both well so was perplexed at no acknowledgement. Anyways, a couple mos. later along comes a thankyou, " so sorry we are late telling you thankyou, but we do not know what you sent us!" Apparently there came up a huge wind storm and blew all the gifts and cards etc all over the orchard and workers were still finding things weeks later! His Mom told me the outdoor wedding was a bit of a shambles! They eventually matched the majority of cards to gifts but had to ask the parents to tell friends the dilemma and hope they mentioned if they sent a gift or not!


We sent a gift to a wedding couple whose wedding we were not able to attend. We got a thank you note many months later for a gift we didn't give.


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## AdeleRM (May 20, 2012)

bobctwn65 said:



> expect nothing ,appreciate everything..except the joy it gave you to make it as your thank you..because most likely after three months your not going to get one..


I like this sentiment. However, if I am mailing something, I put in a note asking the recipient to let me know that it was received.


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## TennKnitter (Jul 24, 2013)

Ditto!!!


Chrissy said:


> Just knit for those people who DO appreciate what you make. :thumbup:


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## AdeleRM (May 20, 2012)

sylviaelliott said:


> knit for the hospitals. they really do appreciate everything.


The hospital near me won't accept such things, so check with them first to see if and what they will accept.


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## Bubba24 (Jan 2, 2012)

Don't feel bad. My best friend of 35+ years had a GD last May. Since I could not go to the shower, I sent my gifts via UPS. I made her a baby blanket, sweater, and hat. I also bought quite a bit of baby clothes and a $100 check. NEVER got a thank you card, phone call, post on Facebook. I know she received the gift because the check was cashed. She post pictures on Facebook of the baby, but never saw anything I made. I know this girl since before she was born. My bf and I were pregnant at the same time and had our daughters 1 week apart. I am more hurt than disappointed. 
Fran


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## patinjapan (Sep 18, 2013)

bobctwn65 said:


> expect nothing ,appreciate everything..except the joy it gave you to make it as your thank you..because most likely after three months your not going to get one..


 :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## mossstitch (Nov 6, 2013)

Manners have mostly disappeared ,when was the last time the cashier in the supermarket said ,'Thank You '? Have you noticed ??
There was a nice article recently in the NYT about thank you notes .It seems Jimmy Fallon does a skit on his show where he writes thank you notes ,maybe people will get the hint . Good manners NEVER go out of style .


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## CherylLouise (Dec 13, 2013)

Dear Jennietta,

I have the same problem with my youngest brother and his boys. I simply do not knit for them anymore. I am a member of the selfish knitters group on Ravelry and I knit for people who appreciate what I am doing. Some of these people do not send notes, but they express their appreciation in other ways.

I believe that people who do not write thank you notes are just plain rude. As a younger person, I failed to write thank you notes and I believe that the lack of the expression of thanks/gratitude has contributed to some of my life's situation. I have tried to encourage my nephews to write thank you notes to no avail and I hate to see two lovely boys go down the pot. 

So I feel your pain.

Cheryl


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## KeesieMommy (Mar 7, 2014)

Just complained about the same lack of acknowledgement last night to my husband. Made shower/new baby gifts for two great nieces. The second sent a lovely handwritten note-her premature daughter just came home from hospital-born April 16 seven weeks early. First baby's mom never responded, even when we both attended a baby shower for my daughter. Not only does the selfishness irritate me, I do not know if the gift I mailed was even received. Since I lack their phone number and email I am hoping the parents will advise if the gifts arrived. I know I must let it go since I chose to knit the items BUT NEVER AGAIN for that family.


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## knitty (Apr 4, 2011)

Nobody from age 10 up today says thank you for anything! They're just not taught anymore.sad to say they couldn't think to say it without being taght,its just respect for someone ,but theres none of that anymore either. its turned into a no conscience no consequence world as far as I can see!


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## baskets69 (Mar 4, 2013)

I find that the new generation is not into thank you acknowledgements for any kind of shower, baby or wedding, or gift. They think verbal is good enough now a days!


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## Pleclerrc (Apr 17, 2011)

We've all experienced the same disappointment and learned to knit only for those who appreciate our workmanship. I no longer knit for people who don't actually ask for a replica of what I've knitted and after a discussion how to care (wash etc.) for it. You would get more thanks from a total stranger on this forum. Knit only for yourself and family or friends who wear and appreciate your lovely work. It's a shame that manners are no longer taught at home or school. "Computer brainiacs but courtesy know-nothings"


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## gigi 722 (Oct 25, 2011)

A friend saw a hat I had just finished. A few days later she asked if I would consider selling it. Told her no I wouldn't sell it but I would gift it. Made me so happy that she appreciated my work.


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## gjc1212 (Nov 7, 2013)

Find a charity to support. There is great need out there, and your work WILL be appreciated!


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## Sticksandstrings (Jan 19, 2014)

Oh my! It's so true- many people just don't take the time and effort to say Thank You. I'm right there with you on this topic. It's up there with the people who return a store bought gift you've given them immediately, or those who tell you to give them money. It's just plain rude! 
Once I get burned- I never give anything to that person in the future.
You know the only thank you we want is really acknowledgement. It's nice to know that the recipient acknowledges your time and effort. Does it really matter what the gift was or how much you spent? Absolutely not! What matters is that you acknowledged a special friend and/or event in their life. The very least a recipient can do- is simply acknowledge you!
I always give from my heart with love and I guess you do the same. Keep sending the love- but in the future you might not want to spend your money or time on that person.
I'm an artist by profession and can't tell you how many people beg me for my artwork. I've had people say- "oh, you can just whip that stuff out- you're so talented!" I've been sucked in by those people and given away prized pieces to find out later they've thrown my work in an attic or closet!
Not any more- now I create my work for me, my own satisfaction, and the people I know for sure really really appreciate it.
Learn by your experiences and move on- in a new direction. 
By the way- just wanted to say- I appreciate and acknowledge your time and effort!


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## Bunbun (Feb 13, 2013)

When my best friends son got married I sent a beautiful pair of antique sterling candlestix, it's been 15 yrs. and I've never heard a word from him or his mom about them. I think some people "expect" nice gifts but never think they need to say Thank You to the giver.


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## Sarah Chana (Apr 15, 2014)

So now you know......Never ask for thanks which you know you will never get. I learned that lesson a long time ago. Some people just don't appreciate gifts of the heart- which just happen to be beautiful.

There are many people out there who would love to have your gifts, just approach some organizations.Don't give up.


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## cathbeasle (Jun 8, 2012)

jeannietta said:


> I am getting really fed up with giving hand knits to new Moms and not getting a simple thanks. I always include my full name and address with every gift. Do I have to add a stamped self addressed envelope too? I let it go for 3 months. But after that it just burns me up. I know I should pick up the phone and ask how they liked the gift, but I resent having to do that. I am at the point of just knitting for my immediate family. Just venting.


I don't think this applies to just handmade gifts. Things have changed. Saying thank you for gifts is a lost courtesy. Manners in general are on a fast decline.


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## Linuxgirl (May 25, 2013)

From reading here, I think I'll stick with knitting for my family. They at least appreciate the gifts and say so.


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## Sarah Chana (Apr 15, 2014)

By artist I assume you mean you paint. Correct? Do you also play the harp? I'm impressed by your talent.


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## Finnsbride (Feb 8, 2011)

A friend once suggested only giving handmade gifts to fellow crafters since they are the usually the only ones who can appreciate the value of the time and effort involved. 
Poor manners is on them not on you. 
However, gifts should be given because you want to give without expectation of thanks or recognition.


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## Nitting_More (Nov 8, 2011)

sylviaelliott said:


> knit for the hospitals. they really do appreciate everything.


I guess I've been talking to the wrong people, but I haven't been able to find a local hospital that wants anything.


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## Jean Keith (Feb 17, 2011)

I've danced to this tune many times and have figured that ignorance is rampant in this day and age. Offer free yarn, postage paid and see how many clamor for it. Send it out and there's for the most part -- dead silence.


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## crafty_grandma56 (Jul 26, 2011)

Saying thank you or even a common courtesy is becoming a lost art. I too have made a baby blanket for a niece whom I gave in person and not even a thank you or it's so nice! Her mother asked me to make one for her sister....since she lives far I gave it to my brother-in-law to give to her. Six weeks later - still nothing so I sent an email to my sister-in-law asking if her husband had given her the gift - she responded oh yes!...so I definitely stopped making any gifts for them! On the other hand my grand-daughter who is now 5 was looking at a crochet doily my mother had done and she found it so 'pretty'. I had lots of the same crochet thread so I made a crocheted lace tablecloth for Barbie's table. She was so thrilled! She couldn't stop hugging me!and she now has the best dressed Barbie around My grandson (her brother) was sitting on the couch and noticed an afghan - he asked if I had made it - I said no it was his great grandmother - he was totally amazed!He asked me to show him to crochet but was too impatient! I taught the older one to crochet he made a scarf and proudly wore it to school and came home with a shiner. When asked what happened he was defending his scarf from a bully - he kept the scarf!! I plan on making them all afghans for their beds - at least they are now at an age they seem to appreciate it. So I would say, I would start small and see the reaction - then make them something bigger! Their reaction is better than the thank you!!


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## Sticksandstrings (Jan 19, 2014)

Sarah Chana said:


> By artist I assume you mean you paint. Correct? Do you also play the harp? I'm impressed by your talent.


I work in a variety of mediums- paint, illustration, colored pencil, paper cutting, fiber, jewelry making, anything that catches my fancy! Of course- knitting and recently tatting. Yes I do play the harp and the drums! Being a cancer survivor I'm making sure I do all the things in life I always wanted to do- getting it in while I still can!  Life is short. Don't waste a moment. Even the bad days are the good days!


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## amortje (Feb 10, 2013)

Bubba24 said:


> Don't feel bad. My best friend of 35+ years had a GD last May. Since I could not go to the shower, I sent my gifts via UPS. I made her a baby blanket, sweater, and hat. I also bought quite a bit of baby clothes and a $100 check. NEVER got a thank you card, phone call, post on Facebook. I know she received the gift because the check was cashed. She post pictures on Facebook of the baby, but never saw anything I made. I know this girl since before she was born. My bf and I were pregnant at the same time and had our daughters 1 week apart. I am more hurt than disappointed.
> Fran


Do you still call her "my best friend" ?


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## martina (Jun 24, 2012)

Sometimes you get a great Thank you though. A friend who received nothing more than tokens I received from a supermarket to give to her grand children's school collection handed me a hand written card from the children and a small bar of chocolate with my name on it from them. Not only did a friend thank me for the baby blanket for her granddaughter but the new father sent a lovely card which he had written. This was in the same week. A local church that I gave my late husband's good clothing to delivered a hand tied bunch of flowers as well as thanking me in person. Another thanked me in person for a baby blanket I made and gave me a picture of it being used with the car seat. Sadly these people are in a minority.


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## amberdragon (Dec 12, 2011)

when you give a gift, that gift is no longer yours..whether you get a thank note is not important, you gave the gift and now it belongs to the one who received the gift.i have to remind myself, did i make the gift out of love or to get a thank you note (but still it is a nice suprise to receive a 
thank you)
i know this sounds harsh to some people, but is the way i feel about gifts.


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## Sarah Chana (Apr 15, 2014)

Nitting_More said:


> I guess I've been talking to the wrong people, but I haven't been able to find a local hospital that wants anything.


What about veterans homes? lap blankets,hats,scarves etc?
There are many organizations out there serving different groups of people.


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## KeesieMommy (Mar 7, 2014)

The expectation of nice gifts is too common. Gratitude is too uncommon. Widely recognized truisms but still annoying with each experience. Just like children who must eat, drink, and play with messy(markers and rubberband bracelet kits) or electronic toys in church. Enough venting. Knitting calls


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## vkiley (Oct 16, 2012)

I have family that wear my knitted items But I also knit hat and shawls for one of the cancer wards in my city. I give them to one of the nurces and she give them to the paintes. Forgive my spelling She has alson giving me money to by yarn and one person gave me a bunch of yarn. You might check with cancer centers to see if you could do the same. They at least like the hats and shawls.


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## sundrop016 (Mar 19, 2013)

I totally agree with you I have a huge problem with people who don't say thank you. It doesn't cost anything

I knitted a beautiful blanket for my terminally ill brother in law. When he passed, my sister in law let her dogs scratch it until it fell apart and had the nerve to tell me look at the blanket you made. I no longer knit for her. I've made knits for people I know casually who have never said thank you and it's not like I charged them. Now I knit toys for my grandchildren and once in a while their friends. They love it and they say thank you.


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## czechmate (Jun 17, 2011)

I agree


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## GoodyTwoShoes (Apr 4, 2013)

A little something about thank yous. .my son had a birthday party with his friends. I wrote thank you notes but was late sending them. (My fault). When I saw one of the moms in person I handed her the note. She looked surprised and said "what is this?" To which I replied "a thank you note for so and so's gift". She just laughed and said "you don't need to send a thank you note". I'm not sure if she meant I didn't have to send one to her or if she meant thank you notes are not needed/wanted/warranted? Hmmm


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## 37716 (Sep 27, 2011)

I knitted a handbag for my sister in the colors and pattern she picked. She told her friends how ugly it was and she hated it. Well, she never got the crocheted scarf she asked me to make for her, after that.


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## Sarah Chana (Apr 15, 2014)

Sticksandstrings said:


> I work in a variety of mediums- paint, illustration, colored pencil, paper cutting, fiber, jewelry making, anything that catches my fancy! Of course- knitting and recently tatting. Yes I do play the harp and the drums! Being a cancer survivor I'm making sure I do all the things in life I always wanted to do- getting it in while I still can!  Life is short. Don't waste a moment. Even the bad days are the good days!


We share many interests in common. I admire your fortitude and appreciation of life and the arts. When such a major event happens in one's life we are changed forever.
I wish you good health and happiness in the future. Share your gift with others. It makes one feel good.


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## Nitting_More (Nov 8, 2011)

Sarah Chana said:


> What about veterans homes? lap blankets,hats,scarves etc?
> There are many organizations out there serving different groups of people.


Thanks, Sara Chana. I'll look into that. I'd really like to support the veterans in some way.


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## PauletteB. (Feb 7, 2012)

I consider myself blessed. I have a family who always appreciate my knitting. They constantly request items. I did knit a shawl for a church member once and overheard her telling someone how she appreciated my time but that she did not wear hand made things. I never said anything to her but I have not given her another gift. I have so many persons wanting the items I won't waste my time and energy on people like that.


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## AnDee (Jan 30, 2012)

Ii do calligraphy and as part of their wedding gift, did my brother-i-laws invitations and actually addresses the thank you cards for them. A year after the wedding, no thank yous, to anyone. When asked, they said they were waiting for ME to write them, and I didn't ask for the list. Other family members told them that wasn't how it worked. I also made a gift for thier first child, took forever to find yarn in the "right" colors, never saw it in use after the shower. It was donated to a school auction thoguh and made $200 for the afterschool program.(Didn't get credit either!)


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## clickerMLL (Aug 14, 2013)

I only make gifts for immediate family, and for charity. Period. There is no excuse for bad manners, and I simply do not accept that "well, so many people are not taught" -- they always get their hands on wedding planners and copies of Emily Post, etc., and are quite capable of reading. For very young children the fault lies with the parents, of course. Silence is NOT golden in the matter of gifts, and the first unthanked gift is the last one I ever send to that person.


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## morningstar (Mar 24, 2012)

abc123retired said:


> Forego the gifting side of your knitting and be happy you have an immediate family to knit for. My immediate family wont wear my knits. My daughter despises handmade items. I knit a hat for my GD and 2 days later a store bought one arrived to take its place. So here I am, retired, with time on my hands and I love to knit. I knit doll clothes. The five American Girl dolls that reside here are allowed to wear my knits and even get nice comments on their apparel at times. Knit because you knit. Why give it away to ungrateful people?


Find a charity in your area that appeals to you, contact them about what their needs are, and you'll be on your way. Some charities receive yarn donations and are happy to share them with those who make items for them. Our group does this and we get written thank-you notes every time a package of items is delivered to them. So many folks would treasure having your hand knitted items.


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## Bluelake (Mar 7, 2012)

Same philosophy for holiday gifts to little kids. If their parents don't say thanks, I cut them off after three times and donate during the holidays to Toys for Tots and other local organizations. Hate to not get the kids something, but that's the way it is.


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## cindye6556 (Apr 6, 2011)

I learned the hard way that the gifts you work the hardest on and put the most thought in are the ones that are least appreciated. Since I also quilt after the death of my grandmother I finished the quilts she had started for the 3 great grands. Never a word of thanks from my cousin's 2 kids, just "what am I supposed to do with this piece of crap, guess it will be good for the dog's crate." At that point I picked them up, and took them home with me. Told cousin later that when her kids learned to appreciate their heritage then just maybe they would get them back. That was 20+ yrs ago, and they're still in my cedar chest. Meanwhile my son has just about "loved" his to death.


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## carrottop71 (Jul 17, 2011)

jeannietta said:


> I am getting really fed up with giving hand knits to new Moms and not getting a simple thanks. I always include my full name and address with every gift. Do I have to add a stamped self addressed envelope too? I let it go for 3 months. But after that it just burns me up. I know I should pick up the phone and ask how they liked the gift, but I resent having to do that. I am at the point of just knitting for my immediate family. Just venting.


This is odd, as I just saw a post from one of my daughter's friends on facebook saying how she still loves the baby blanket I gave her son 15 years ago. I don't remember a thank you at the time, but she really was impressed with the gift when I gave it to her. It only goes to say, you never know what impact you might have with your gift whether or not you get a thank you.


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## KeesieMommy (Mar 7, 2014)

Totally agree. Can't keep up with requests from extant grandchildren let alone charity knitting. Dropping a great-niece eases the load. I was so looking forward to knitting for baby girls. My oldest grandchild at age 11 is a girl. The others are all boys. Guess I just get better at boy clothes. And toys. And blankets. :thumbup:


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## nevadalynn (Apr 27, 2011)

desireeross said:


> I don't knit as gifts for those reasons. If someone wants something they will ask. Way too much time and energy going into something made with love and just pushed to the back of the wardrobe


 I agree. Not everyone likes or appreciates the work that goes into knitted gifts. I gladly knit anything that someone asks me for, tho.............


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## Beve (May 5, 2012)

It seems that these days, people have forgotten what a Thank You card is for! I have given wedding, baby, Christmas and birthday presents to friends and family and hardly ever get a thanks. Even a FB message would be nice!


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## dinnerontime (May 8, 2011)

Its kind of a sad commentary on the times, don't you think? I feel the same frustration not just with my hand knit gifts, but generally with all gifts. I have a whole slew of nieces and nephews and I always send a birthday card will money....same dollar value as their age so it's always going up every year. I never get any acknowledgement. One year at a reunion, that topic came up and a nephew made some comment about it not being very much money. That was the last gift he got from me. Sad.


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## mathom (Jun 4, 2012)

As another counter example, I crocheted a nice shawl for a charity auction a few years ago. Someone bought it as a gift for their mother. Some time later I received an email with a beautiful photograph of her mother wearing the shawl. I will treasure it always.


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## MinnieMouse (Mar 29, 2013)

Gerripho said:


> Don't bother with the stamped self addressed envelope. I once gave a lovely gift -- too expensive really for my finances at the time -- to the daughter of a dear friend for her wedding. Got absolutely no thanks whatsoever. Six months later, for her baby shower, I actually gave her thank you notes and stamps. I still got nothing!


 :thumbup:


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## sam0767 (Jun 20, 2012)

Yep know what you mean. Made a little outfit for my senior staffs daughter for her shower. That was in March. I asked her if she liked the outfit and she just casually said ya. But a friend of senior staff webt crazy over it but only because she loves handmade stuff. Never again!!!


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## MinnieMouse (Mar 29, 2013)

Gerripho said:


> Don't bother with the stamped self addressed envelope. I once gave a lovely gift -- too expensive really for my finances at the time -- to the daughter of a dear friend for her wedding. Got absolutely no thanks whatsoever. Six months later, for her baby shower, I actually gave her thank you notes and stamps. I still got nothing!


 :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## ElyseKnox (Sep 16, 2011)

Donna,
The same thought is going through my mind reading these posts. It is sooo... human to want the feedback and thanks when we do something for others but we are taught by the ONE who loves best, most and always that charity/giving is best done in anonymity when there is no chance of personal glory.



Donnathomp said:


> The greatest man who ever lived said, "There is more happiness in giving than there is in receiving.". (Acts 20:35)


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## Grandma M (Nov 18, 2011)

Same thing happened with my Niece. She got the most beautiful baby sweater I have ever knitted and a baby Newsboy hat that I created and not one word of thanks.
She did thank me for the 12th man sweater and helmet (baby size) that I gave her at her shower but not a word on the other two. I think the younger generation just doesn't have the same manners we did.


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## mollyknits (Jan 31, 2011)

It's very sad that the art of graciousness is not being taught to our children who then become inconsiderate adults.


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## ginnyinnr (May 20, 2012)

ElyseKnox said:


> Donna,
> The same thought is going through my mind reading these posts. It is sooo... human to want the feedback and thanks when we do something for others but we are taught by the ONE who loves best, most and always that charity/giving is best done in anonymity when there is no chance of personal glory.


There must be something said by the "ONE who loves best" about appreciation to those who give.


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## PaKnitter (Mar 7, 2011)

mollyknits said:


> It's very sad that the art of graciousness is not being taught to our children who then become inconsiderate adults.


Our step grandchildren's views on saying 'thank you' are they don't have to. As grandparents it is our obligation to buy and give. Needless to say they get nothing from us and that includes conversation.


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## desertgirl (Jan 26, 2013)

A friend told me, only give handmade gifts to people who also do handwork, as they are the ones who realize the effort involved. Some people will never write or call with thanks,
it's a shame they didn't learn as children.


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## Hazel Blumberg - McKee (Sep 9, 2011)

No point in knitting for those who don't appreciate what you do. Just knit for people who do.

Hazel


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## yona (Feb 7, 2011)

I recently made 2 baby quilts for my daughter's extended family member. I have never received a 'thank you' or any kind of acknowledgment when I've seen her at family events.

I just chalked it up to new mom who does not have any extra time for thank you notes and leave it at that.


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## rderemer (Nov 13, 2012)

jeannietta said:


> I am getting really fed up with giving hand knits to new Moms and not getting a simple thanks. I always include my full name and address with every gift. Do I have to add a stamped self addressed envelope too? I let it go for 3 months. But after that it just burns me up. I know I should pick up the phone and ask how they liked the gift, but I resent having to do that. I am at the point of just knitting for my immediate family. Just venting.


I think it's the generation - too much instant gratification that they don't need to acknowledge. I made my kids write thank you cards when they were younger and now, the eldest in particular, doesn't bother to send thank yous - even for wedding presents!


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## Sarah Chana (Apr 15, 2014)

Nitting_More said:


> Thanks, Sara Chana. I'll look into that. I'd really like to support the veterans in some way.


You're most welcome


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## Sarah Chana (Apr 15, 2014)

You're most welcome,K_M,

The veterans homes we visited were always appreciative of the gifts we made for them. The guests who live in them enjoy the good thoughts that go into the making of them as well.In my opinion, this is a win-win.
Good luck with it.

:thumbup:


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## k2p2ssk (Jan 12, 2014)

I spent a lot of time knitting a complicated celtic cabled wedding afghan for the sister of my brothers wife and was very hurt when I saw it used for a cover on their dogs bed....she never got another hand knit from me...choose the recipient carefully then release the knit aND let go.


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## headlemk (Feb 16, 2011)

I knit a beautiful tree of life blanket for my newest grandson (who is a year old now). I have not received any word from the step-son nor step-daughter-in-law. I don't even know if they received it. 

However, I knit sweaters and blankets for my great-nieces and always ALWAYS receive a thank you from their mother. 

Some children are raised to be appreciative, and some are not.


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## LEE1313 (Jan 25, 2011)

And that is why I don't knit for my grandchildren. Never a Thanks. Nothing.
And I even stopped knitting for one charity, The gal who was in charge never said thank you. I had even gift boxed the preemie sets and the Sleeping Baby sets. Very tastefully done. But nothing from her.
Oh well. I have moved on.
Sorry for your hurt. Most of us have felt the same.


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## chemknitter (Feb 5, 2014)

I have been especially fortunate in the baby gifts that I have knitted in that I have received thank you's for them. Of course, few of these were in the form of a thank you note. Several were text messages while others were pictures of baby on blanket/with teddy bear posted on Facebook. Young people do have manners; they simply express them using different media.


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## Jacquie (Feb 6, 2011)

When I was much younger, my girlfriend's boys could not wear, play with, eat, use etc. a gift until the Thank You was written. Even as babies she put a crayon in their hand and they scribbled on a note card. These were so precious, I kept them all. Today, those 'baby boys' are all over 50 (there were 5 of them) and I still get notes with pictures drawn, and written in colorful inks, sometimes just to say Hello. All children should be brought up that way.


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## LEE1313 (Jan 25, 2011)

I agree 100%. My son was raised that way---sadly DIL NOT!!! So my grands never write anything.
So sad they are missing out on a lot from this Granny. I have put my checkbook away !!!


Jacquie said:


> When I was much younger, my girlfriend's boys could not wear, play with, eat, use etc. a gift until the Thank You was written. Even as babies she put a crayon in their hand and they scribbled on a note card. These were so precious, I kept them all. Today, those 'baby boys' are all over 50 (there were 5 of them) and I still get notes with pictures drawn, and written in colorful inks, sometimes just to say Hello. All children should be brought up that way.


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## maryannn (Feb 17, 2011)

Some people are so thoughtless and ungrateful.. I feel bad for you.


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## jan the gran (Dec 3, 2012)

abc123retired said:


> Forego the gifting side of your knitting and be happy you have an immediate family to knit for. My immediate family wont wear my knits. My daughter despises handmade items. I knit a hat for my GD and 2 days later a store bought one arrived to take its place. So here I am, retired, with time on my hands and I love to knit. I knit doll clothes. The five American Girl dolls that reside here are allowed to wear my knits and even get nice comments on their apparel at times. Knit because you knit. Why give it away to ungrateful people?


 :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## shadypineslady (Jan 28, 2014)

sylviaelliott said:


> knit for the hospitals. they really do appreciate everything.


Ditto this. Knit for charities. They are so grateful for the donations.


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## joannem602 (Feb 7, 2011)

kerrie35094 said:


> Not necessarily. I sent a box full of burial pockets to a local hospital. They knew what I was doing and gave specific instructions as to where to send them, etc. Four weeks later I called to see if they had received them and was told yes, they were so cute! Really? As to size, color, feedback, they would get back to me immediately. That was weeks and weeks ago. I have a friend who is head chaplain at another hospital and will soon be contacting Gary to see if they would be more appreciated at his hospital.


I had the same experience with a box of small blankets that I gave to A woman met me in the lobby, said thank you, and told me I would receive a thank you note from the department head. That was 5 years ago....


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## Mikaiyawa (Mar 1, 2013)

I just got a pair of lovely responses that are nice antidotes to this problem.

I posted an in progress picture of a pair of gauntlets (long fingerless mitts) I'm making for a friend of mine and she responded with a delighted squee.

And I finished a swatch rat (stuffed cat toy, though this one was... ah.. LARGE.. super bulky yarn) and a small child looked at it and I offered it to him. His face Lit up and he said "tan oo" he Might have been three was adorable. His Mom tried to give it back but he was cuddling it tight. I told her I'd given it to him and he'd said thank you, so she let him keep it  made my evening


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## Jenny.Wren (Nov 28, 2011)

Many people just don't appreciate handmade knit items and think they are inferior. Of course, we know better. I just knit what I feel like knitting and give most of it away.

Charity knitting is a good thing if you make something of good quality. I knit to improve my skill and try new techniques. It's a pleasure to knit and it's good for our health, Just have fun.


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## SAMkewel (Mar 5, 2011)

jeannietta said:


> I am getting really fed up with giving hand knits to new Moms and not getting a simple thanks. I always include my full name and address with every gift. Do I have to add a stamped self addressed envelope too? I let it go for 3 months. But after that it just burns me up. I know I should pick up the phone and ask how they liked the gift, but I resent having to do that. I am at the point of just knitting for my immediate family. Just venting.


I agree with all that you say, sadly. In addition to the envelope, apparently you would also need to make a sheet of paper with a list of possible responses so she can just check the box for the one she wants. Shameful, IMHO. I hope folks aren't going to trot out a list of excuses here, since most of us had babies with far fewer conveniences and we managed to thank the giver.


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## headlemk (Feb 16, 2011)

I don't get thank yous from my grandchildren, but this makes up for it. I knit and sew for needy children here in Mexico. We had a dress and vest distribution recently before Easter. This is what I got. It took me 2 days to come down off of the high I got from his hug. This picture actually made the local newspaper.


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## SAMkewel (Mar 5, 2011)

Serene Knitter said:


> Only give your knitted love to those who are knit worthy. The rest can have your trip to the store love.


I wouldn't do the trip to the store love, either, since that will be ignored as well. I have pretty much boycotted gift giving altogether unless I KNOW it will be appreciated and acknowledged.


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## radar (Dec 6, 2011)

I got lucky twice as both my girls always send thank you cards even if they have thanked in person. I get them too. At Christmas when they were little I would mark down who had given what, one gift opened at a time, each taking turns. Then they would send their thank you notes out on boxing day. It must have stuck. My eldest is especially prim and proper. If my two girls would read these comments they would be horrified but also know that it is the gimme , I deserve it generation. They do not even like working with their own generation as they seem not to do anything except visit instead of work.


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## Jessica-Jean (Mar 14, 2011)

I take exception to the bashing of the 'new generation' or their parents. I raised two children. From birth,they have been as different as night and day. One sends out greeting, birthday, and thank you cards to everyone; the other seems not to know that is even a possibility. Obviously, they were raised the same (22 months difference in age), but the resulting child/adult is the only one responsible for his/her actions ... or lack thereof. My point is: *don't blame the parents*!


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## SAMkewel (Mar 5, 2011)

bobctwn65 said:


> on most of the things I give I get a verbal response. and sometimes a hug..and that is enough for me..


I would agree that these days any acknowledgement is a plus. I offered to knit a sweater with a truck on it for my stepgrandson, who was all about trucks at the time; stepdaughter informed me SHE does not like sweaters and never wears them. When he gets older I will deal with him directly.


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## cindye6556 (Apr 6, 2011)

I'm almost 58, and have found that it's not just the younger generation that tends to be thoughtless. I have found there are many in my age group and older that tend to be just as thoughtless. So IMHO the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.


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## KeesieMommy (Mar 7, 2014)

Happy Birthday, Fenway. Jaeger and I think you are so handsome. Lucky to have a Granny who spoils you.


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## Jessica-Jean (Mar 14, 2011)

Donnathomp said:


> The greatest man who ever lived said, "There is more happiness in giving than there is in receiving.". (Acts 20:35)


Yes, everyone is happy to give. However, it's human nature to feel insulted by the lack of so much as an acknowledgement of reception of the gift. We need to balance the happiness of giving against the negative feelings of lack of positive feedback from the receiver of the gift. ... Giving to a charity doesn't have that. I _know_ someone will use my gift; I don't care if the charity's organizers thank me or not.


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## threecentsshort (Mar 3, 2013)

Only make your labor's of love for those who show appreciation. I have made some beautiful gifts for people who have never utter a word, good or bad about the gift. I have finally learned my lesson. "One & Done!"


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## jkessler (Apr 30, 2014)

It seems there are lots of us in the same situation. As a mother/grandmother it is hard to just give up on them,, but on the other hand we don't need to be treated that way.


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## Jessica-Jean (Mar 14, 2011)

Jean Keith said:


> I've danced to this tune many times and have figured that ignorance is rampant in this day and age. Offer free yarn, postage paid and see how many clamor for it. Send it out and there's for the most part -- dead silence.


Sad for you, but I'm glad to learn I'm not the only one to whom this has happened. Dead silence is very loud.


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## hatlady (Feb 7, 2011)

I absolutely agree that anyone who receives a gift should write a thank-you note or call, but I'd be tempted to forgive a new, sleep-deprived, frazzled mom who can't get it together to respond. On the other hand, I'd really appreciate feedback letting me know whether other hand-knitted gifts would be welcomed or shoved to the back of the closet. I do almost all my knitting for charity and figure it always goes to someone who'll use it.


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## yarnstars (Feb 26, 2011)

About 10 years ago, I belonged to a group called "Newborns in Need." We made blankets and caps for preemies. I went with our group to the hospital to donate a bundle of things we had made. The nurse showed us the preemies and took us to the closet where they stored the items. The closet was so full to overflowing with donations that they had a hard time adding the things we had brought.


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## Sarah Chana (Apr 15, 2014)

This picture says it all- it's lovely.


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## Munchn (Mar 3, 2013)

I am still waiting for a thank you note for a wedding gift and they now have 2 kids and one is starting school soon!


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## Sarah Chana (Apr 15, 2014)

jkessler said:


> It seems there are lots of us in the same situation. As a mother/grandmother it is hard to just give up on them,, but on the other hand we don't need to be treated that way.


Did you really join just today? If yes, welcome from beautiful central New Joisy!( by way of Brooklyn).


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## SAMkewel (Mar 5, 2011)

SharonM said:


> I agree that simple manners are a thing of the past... not just for the lovely knitted gifts that are made for friends and loved ones... but in general. Every year I send generous checks to my grandchildren for their birthdays, and even more generous gifts and $$ at Christmas. They never thank me, or even acknowledge receipt. It annoys me that their parents (my son) have not taught them simple etiquette, and I don't want to punish them for their parents bad manners,so I've stopped sending the parents birthday checks. My DIL once complained that my son's father never gave him a birthday gift and my response was "when was the last time you remembered him?" BTW, they never ever send me a gift (not even a card) for my birthday, Christmas or Mother's Day.


I see here an opportunity for an object lesson. I also notice that although you taught your son manners, he doesn't use them or pass them on, so I don't necessarily think it has anything to do with whether the parents taught manners or not. Skipping the $$ for them and your grandchildren one year will not leave them scarred for life, but certainly will bring a reaction, which is the perfect time to explain that it has simply become too much effort to be the only giver, especially when the giving is never acknowledged. To continue the practice under the circumstances is rewarding poor behavior, don't you think? Every time they get the $$ anyway, why make the effort to change? Just sayin'. It isn't too late for them all to be taught some manners.


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## SAMkewel (Mar 5, 2011)

ramram0003 said:


> I do believe, this is the way our younger generation is. They do not believe in thank you notes or any kind of acknowledgement. Sorry to say. Now, if, you had a cellphone, they probably would have text you with a thank you. LOL Kids today do NOT communicate verbally or anything of that matter that we were taught to do "back in the day".


I really think they do this because they can and we put up with it. That kind of behavior would not have been tolerated by anyone "back in the day." Why is it tolerated now? Since when did we give up our power to our kids and their kids? That would make us enablers, wouldn't it? I still remember being told that if I'm not part of the solution, I'm part of the problem..... An enabler I'm not.


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## jkessler (Apr 30, 2014)

Thanks, I was a member and had been "lurking" for a while. My home is Lacey WA but temporarily living in Leipzig Germany.


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## kdamato55 (Apr 13, 2011)

I understand. I have done bridal showers, weddings, and baby showers and never received a single thank you. I don;t know what's going on with this younger generation. We were taught that when you received a gift from someone, you sent a thank you to the person who sent it. I stopped giving unless I knew the individual well and knew they would appreciate it. Chin up. We have a program at my church called New Beginnings (We help young ladies that have children finish school and get skills so they don;t have to go on welfare) They really appreciate everything. So do the hospitals. Try them.


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## SAMkewel (Mar 5, 2011)

Linday said:


> My gift giving policy is "Once you are old enough to say thank you, verbally, by phone, by e-mail, by snail mail or any other way you can dream up, if you don't acknowledge the gift you don't get another one." My nieces and nephews know this and are quick to say thank you, the first chance they get. I have several who no longer get gifts and several who always say thank you. They are the lucky ones because my gift giving budget does not have to be stretched so far and the gifts get better with each person who does not thank me.


Thank you for this post, it proves my point that the reason the younger generation does this is because we let them. I don't and you don't; we get better results or don't make the effort. I think today's adults have confused being permissive with being loving, I watched that attitude develop in my late teens as both parents began working out of the home and Mom's guilt for that was sensed by the kids and boy, did they latch onto that! Then we must "make up" for that. I take on a second job, one at home and one at work and I must make up for that? I don't think so. Why did I take on that job in the first place? It wasn't to make materially and emotionally spoiled brats out of the generations to come. It's called "tough love," and it's designed to produce offspring who are not totally self-centered and demanding. Neither is it unnecessarily cruel. It teaches cause and effect, actions and consequences. If you want to get, you have to give. Kids of any age are quick to learn emotionally manipulative techniques for getting everything they want IF the adults allow it.


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## Sarah Chana (Apr 15, 2014)

You might try to google it. They have endless info.


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## Carlyta (Mar 23, 2011)

Being courteous is not the norm now. The same with cards--you send someone a card--no response as to whether they got it. Or you leave a phone message for someone to call you back with your phone number--no return call; the same with emails (one of my pet peeves).


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## Woolywarmer (May 31, 2011)

Love your gift idea! I have a niece who dropped out of college after one semester, 11 years past. I gave a gift when she graduated from High School. Still no thank you. For her recent wedding I gave as cheaply as I could and still proclaim "I gave".
What is wrong with that generation?


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## n ancyrboyle (Jun 23, 2013)

I'm with bobctwn65 and marilyngf. I really knit for my pleasure and enjoy giving. If not apparently appreciated, no more to that particular person. Plenty of others to give to.


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## PaKnitter (Mar 7, 2011)

SAMkewel said:


> I really think they do this because they can and we put up with it. That kind of behavior would not have been tolerated by anyone "back in the day." Why is it tolerated now? Since when did we give up our power to our kids and their kids? That would make us enablers, wouldn't it? I still remember being told that if I'm not part of the solution, I'm part of the problem..... An enabler I'm not.


Many years ago I was told by the mothers that they do not want their kids fearing them or hating them as they did their parents. They want to be their kid's friend. 
I'm just saying what I was told so don't shoot the messenger.


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## littleinjun (Jul 30, 2013)

I learned a lesson when I asked by daughter-in-love why I received no thanks and never saw my handwork used in her home-
her answer was: "Mom, a thank you wouldn't speak for my heart and I am storing and saving everything for the children so they will know how much you loved our family." It shut me up and made me work all the harder on presents for them.


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## Jessica-Jean (Mar 14, 2011)

Sarah Chana said:


> You might try to google it. They have endless info.


 :?: When you use 'Quote Reply', your remark is linked to what you're responding to. In short 'conversations', it's not hard to locate, but in this multi-page one, I, for one, won't even look to see.


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## headlemk (Feb 16, 2011)

PaKnitter said:


> Many years ago I was told by the mothers that they do not want their kids fearing them or hating them as they did their parents. They want to be their kid's friend.
> I'm just saying what I was told so don't shoot the messenger.


So, they don't want to be parents. That is sad. Their children will not learn self-discipline and will be absolute terrors to their teachers.


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## threecentsshort (Mar 3, 2013)

I have to add a nice note. Recently my youngest son got married. For the Bridal Shower I crocheted each Bridesmaid a purse to match her gown. I did it because I wanted to so I was presently surprised when I received the loveliest TY note from one of the Bridesmaid. It was totally unexpected & that made it so much more appreciated. I later received another one. I will always treasured those notes.


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## missmama j (Jan 23, 2014)

knit for charity...I'm glad my family likes knitted items..but I knit for a couple of charities and love it just saying


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## Beachkc (Aug 24, 2012)

Jean Keith said:


> I've danced to this tune many times and have figured that ignorance is rampant in this day and age. Offer free yarn, postage paid and see how many clamor for it. Send it out and there's for the most part -- dead silence.


Jean, I am so glad I got your thank you in the mail yesterday! I did post a big thank you on the forum and it is so sweet of you to have been so generous . Bless you!


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## normancha (May 27, 2013)

abc123retired said:


> Forego the gifting side of your knitting and be happy you have an immediate family to knit for. My immediate family wont wear my knits. My daughter despises handmade items. I knit a hat for my GD and 2 days later a store bought one arrived to take its place. So here I am, retired, with time on my hands and I love to knit. I knit doll clothes. The five American Girl dolls that reside here are allowed to wear my knits and even get nice comments on their apparel at times. Knit because you knit. Why give it away to ungrateful people?


Ditto here. My DD doesn't like anything handmade by me, but her own DDs, ages 9 and 7 do. In fact, they draw something, and then ask me if I can make it for them. My Argentinian Dearest Friend never had children, and her immediate family members are all in Rosario, Mendoza, and Buenos Aires, Argentina, so she knits and sews for her collection of stuffed animals in all shapes and sizes, dresses them up and takes pictures. She has many photo albums of them wearing the garments and a story to match. She also knits a lot for the workers at the Assisted Living Place where her Husband lives, and she says that guarantees him a much better treatment.


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## normancha (May 27, 2013)

jeannietta said:


> I am getting really fed up with giving hand knits to new Moms and not getting a simple thanks. I always include my full name and address with every gift. Do I have to add a stamped self addressed envelope too? I let it go for 3 months. But after that it just burns me up. I know I should pick up the phone and ask how they liked the gift, but I resent having to do that. I am at the point of just knitting for my immediate family. Just venting.


I would knit, crochet, sew, or all of the above, only for People I know will appreciate it, or most importantly: Will Need It! Like my Dear Friend Frances. I knit and crocheted for her Children, and all of them saved their items, and when the Gran Children arrived, I did it for them, and they also kept their stuff to this day. Now that the Great Grandchildren are coming, I'm making them their own, because Parents and Grandparents don't want to let go of their blankets and layettes. It makes me happy. Other than that, I usually ask an expectant Mother if she wants something done by me. In many occasions, former Coworkers ask me to make them something for their families' babies and for $. Even if they paid for it, they still send me TK notes for it and pictures of the baby wearing it. But like I said, these are People that like a handmade item.


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## Shdy990 (Mar 10, 2011)

Even immediate family can insult your project. My friend's mother made her and her sister afghans. They went to the sister's house and it was in the dog house outside.

I recently made a baby blanket for a niece and asked for her address and didn't get it and I didn't do anything further and won't do anything for her again. There will always be more babies and maybe someone who appreciates it. It is not cheap making things either.


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## Bridgitis (Aug 8, 2011)

How about mailing patterns to women on this site who do not even bother to send a note of thanks. 
I guess I'm too old since I expect at least an acknowledgement that the patterns for two round crocheted tablecloths I sent were never acknowledged. They were mailed out of the US for extra postage too.
Phyllis


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## Nanny Val (Oct 10, 2012)

desireeross said:


> I don't knit as gifts for those reasons. If someone wants something they will ask. Way too much time and energy going into something made with love and just pushed to the back of the wardrobe


I would totally agree. The last gift I gave was a grow bag (bought) did not receive a thank you note. Both my trendy daughters used grow bags for their children and this is the reason I always give one for a new baby gift. Both my dd sent thank you notes to everyone who gave them gifts but this not the norm.


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## sabiha (Sep 20, 2013)

I agree - that is the only way not to get hurt unnecessarily...


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## normancha (May 27, 2013)

Jessica-Jean said:


> Do you ever wonder just why do so many knitters, myself included, donate their knits to charities?
> Have they no one to knit for?
> Some may not, but many of us have siblings, aunts, uncles, parents, children, nieces, nephews, cousins - and if we're married, our spouse's extended family to boot. And if we're lucky enough to have friends, we might knit for them too.
> 
> ...


 :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## normancha (May 27, 2013)

Donnathomp said:


> The greatest man who ever lived said, "There is more happiness in giving than there is in receiving.". (Acts 20:35)


 :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## kmcnaught (Sep 13, 2011)

Anyone who doesn't or can't say a simple thank you certainly does deserve to receive any kind of gift. I surely would not waste my time or effort on anyone that thoughtless, self-involved, inconsiderate and just plain rude.

It's my feeling people today have forgotten or never been taught any manners. That's their loss, not yours.

I have cut off contact with people like that. they are not worth knowing!


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## kmcnaught (Sep 13, 2011)

Her mother probably never thanked anyone either!!. Shame on both her and her daughter.


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## cherylthompson (Feb 18, 2013)

bobctwn65 said:


> expect nothing ,appreciate everything..except the joy it gave you to make it as your thank you..because most likely after three months your not going to get one..


 :thumbup:


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## mamagill (May 5, 2013)

The experience that stopped me from knitting for infants is that my niece said "Why is everyone knitting things?" and never sent a thank you. I am sure she purchased the best labels for her children.


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## normancha (May 27, 2013)

Sticksandstrings said:


> I work in a variety of mediums- paint, illustration, colored pencil, paper cutting, fiber, jewelry making, anything that catches my fancy! Of course- knitting and recently tatting. Yes I do play the harp and the drums! Being a cancer survivor I'm making sure I do all the things in life I always wanted to do- getting it in while I still can!  Life is short. Don't waste a moment. Even the bad days are the good days!


Thyroid cancer survivor here. You're right: Life is short, and every day counts as a good day, both to enjoy and to make others enjoy it. Like i say to my Friend Olga when se feels depressed: MAKE YOURSELF HAPPY FIRST, then, please the others.


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## LinJurm (Aug 4, 2011)

Very sad state of affairs, isn't it? I have started giving presents at showers - usually thanked in person at the time - and then no present after that UNLESS there is a follow up thank you note. Recently, months after the shower and soon after the wedding, I got a thank you note for the shower gift which also said "and thanks for coming to our wedding"..... Found that interesting.


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## SAMkewel (Mar 5, 2011)

PaKnitter said:


> Many years ago I was told by the mothers that they do not want their kids fearing them or hating them as they did their parents. They want to be their kid's friend.
> I'm just saying what I was told so don't shoot the messenger.


My kids/grandkids neither fear nor hate me. I don't believe we're here to be friends to our kids; they have friends of their own. I believe we're here to be parents/teachers/boundary setters. If we don't do it, who will? Going from one extreme to another is never good. I'm not advocating being an abusive, neglectful parent.....


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## MoMo (Apr 28, 2011)

I knit burial garments for a local charity for newborns and also for the 12 layettes assembled each year by the elderly Women of my local Woman's club. These layettes ( 30 gallon Rubbermaid tubs, LOADed with blankets, sweaters, booties, hats, bottles, washcloths, shampoo, etc... anything a baby could need, really) are given to the county agency that deals with the teporary assistance to families, and distributed as they see fit. We rarely receive anything from the recipient, but always get a nice thank you from from the county. makes you feel like at last SOMEONE appreciates the work and expense involved. most of the women in the club are on a fixed income, and purchasing a large container of diaers is truly an act of sacrifice...


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## Steel Magnolia (Nov 12, 2012)

I have also had this problem. I don't think they realize the work that goes into a handmade item. Also, if the gift is given at a shower, some feel that as long as they thank everyone verbally at the end of the gift-giving, that there is no need to send cards as well. And, with FaceBook (which I am not on) they sometimes just post a general thank-you to everyone. I have a couple of nieces who are nice enough to send me a hand-written note for everything that I have made for their babies - the consequence being that I am more willing to knit for them in the future!!!


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## ADW55 (Mar 31, 2014)

A gracious giver ask not to be recognized but gives out of the goodness of their heart.

God asks us to give graciously out of love and not for recognition.


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## SAMkewel (Mar 5, 2011)

I offered to knit some items of the mother's choice about nine years ago through my SIL, who promptly informed me that her daughter didn't want any of that kind of junk in her house for her children, my SIL's grandchildren. I suppose now she wonders why I don't hear her when she hints about how she would love to have one of my shawls. I guess she thinks it's one of those supply and demand things--she demands and I supply. Uh-uh!


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## Marny CA (Jun 26, 2011)

I know that I *DID* teach my children to write thank-you notes aside from how to cook, sew, and to clean and clear their own table after eating. My son's wife thanked me for teaching my son those things!

My children learned a lot from outside sources over which I had little to no control -- just as I did!

I taught them a lot of things that they in their adulthood have chosen to not do - especially to/for me! I'm no longer their mother because, as they say "I'm an adult and can do what I want." Living 3,000 miles away has been a lifesaver for me and my own well being.

The last time I saw my son was in 2003 and my daughter in 2005 -- I am pretty sure that was the last time I'll ever see them. I'm going to be 76 yo - they're 52 and 46.

Don't we all miss what has been allowed to go extinct? LOL


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## Pinkle (Aug 28, 2012)

It is really nice to receive acknowledgment. I made a blanket for my student dentist's baby, who was born prematurely. Because he didn't finish the work on me before he graduated, he closed his office & drove 47 miles to pick up the gift (he also wanted to see the final result of the work done on me) & sent me a note with a picture of the baby with the blanket. Do you wonder why I love my dentist?


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## Marny CA (Jun 26, 2011)

mollyknits said:


> It's very sad that the art of graciousness is not being taught to our children who then become inconsiderate adults.


My children WERE taught properly! However, the only person they are inconsiderate with is ME!

My beloved husband (not their father) told me: If your children thought for a minute that you didn't love them they would not treat you that way.

I don't know what the answer is -- but I do know that I was the best parent I knew how to be.

I worked 2-3 jobs in order to support us ... and then they resented me for not being a SAHM and for not baking cookies, and for only giving him tennis lessons 2 times a week instead of 3, and giving her only 2 gymnastic lessons a week instead of 3, for having "junky furniture" because my antiques weren't as nice as their friends' stuff -- and ... well, no sense in my trying to explain.

[deleted more because it's all too personal]


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## Marny CA (Jun 26, 2011)

Bubba24 said:


> Don't feel bad. My best friend of 35+ years had a GD last May. Since I could not go to the shower, I sent my gifts via UPS. I made her a baby blanket, sweater, and hat. I also bought quite a bit of baby clothes and a $100 check. NEVER got a thank you card, phone call, post on Facebook. I know she received the gift because the check was cashed. She post pictures on Facebook of the baby, but never saw anything I made. I know this girl since before she was born. My bf and I were pregnant at the same time and had our daughters 1 week apart. I am more hurt than disappointed.
> Fran


You've given me an idea!!

I made a really nice baby blankie for a friend's 2nd grandbaby and I never heard anything. By the time I decided to 'just ask' - my friend said a blanket was never received.

Now I have another more elaborate blanket - and I'll include a small check! That way, once the check is cashed I'll know they got the blanket! (Tree of Life with leaf border)

Thanks for the great idea!!


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## Nancy S. (Jul 2, 2013)

I am so sorry that they did not care enough to give you a polite "Thank you". I think that a lot of people are becoming & feeling "entitled" to free things from others & even the govt. I have heard of some girls saying that they should get wedding presents from ... & were upset that they didn't. 

I was taught many, many yrs ago that a person who gives you a gift did not have to do it so they should be thanked for it because they took their money & time to give you this gift. This is why I try to instill in my son the importance of calling & thanking people if he does not have time to send a thank you letter/card.


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## mzmom1 (Mar 4, 2011)

I made a Gypsycream lion for a baby shower last summer for some former students of mine who grew up and married. (Their nursery has a Lion King theme.) My post about that:
http://www.knittingparadise.com/t-178801-1.html
Saw the family not long age and Dad told me that the lion is Baby's favorite toy and if I wanted to make any more animals they would be happy to buy them. I was flabbergasted and flattered, but I don't sell my "works of heart." I told him I'd make Baby another toy for his first birthday, I'll probably do a Gypsycream monkey.


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## tmhutch (Oct 6, 2012)

I know how you feel. I made 2 baby blankets, several doilies, and 2 sets of dishcloths. The shipping cost was plenty. I sent them to a nephew and his wife. Never got a thank you, or even that they received it. 10 months later, their baby needed surgery and posted it on a website. So I asked if they received our box and she responded. Yes, we received the box. That was it. No thank or anything. Really no reason not say thank you. My nephew was raised better. I know that I won't be doing it again for them. If I receive something from a friend or family, I call and thank them or send them a thank you card.

Talking it over with my friend, she said well everybody is so busy these days. I said yea me too, it takes a small amount of time to show appreciation and respect for the time and energy it takes to make hand made items. I understand how you feel.

TMHutch


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## Becca (Jan 26, 2011)

If you want to knit something, make it different. Though I knit a blanket, bib, and washcloth for my niece, she loved the Tooth Fairy pillow I sewed that included a silver dollar. So knit a tooth fairy pillow. It's different.


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## fibermcgivver (Dec 18, 2012)

Last Christmas, I made three knit Christmas stockings that were more time-consuming than I thought. No "thank-you" or any kind of acknowledgement. My sister told me my niece really liked them and sounded embarrassed that I wasn't thanked. What can you do? I didn't do them so much for my niece, as for her three darling children. This year, I'm just making one for our new grandson, Sawyer. We have to remember that gifts are from the heart, without strings or expectations. I still feel very good about making and giving them.


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## MrsRII (Jun 9, 2013)

In my advancing years I've learned the younger generation is just plain rude. I must share one incident: A cousin and her husband are deep into Protestant religion and ministry so I thought a gift for them would be appropriate. Thus, I handmade two lanyards, each with a (rather expensive) cross sent them. Time passed without word, so I finally phoned to see if the gifts had arrived. Instead of a thank you, I was rebuked with "You sent Catholic crosses!" End of gift-giving.


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## martina (Jun 24, 2012)

MrsRII said:


> In my advancing years I've learned the younger generation is just plain rude. I must share one incident: A cousin and her husband are deep into Protestant religion and ministry so I thought a gift for them would be appropriate. Thus, I handmade two lanyards, each with a (rather expensive) cross sent them. Time passed without word, so I finally phoned to see if the gifts had arrived. Instead of a thank you, I was rebuked with "You sent Catholic crosses!" End of gift-giving.


As a Catholic I would be interested to learn the difference as I have never heard this before.


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## Ask4j (May 21, 2011)

jeannietta said:


> I am getting really fed up with giving hand knits to new Moms and not getting a simple thanks. I always include my full name and address with every gift. Do I have to add a stamped self addressed envelope too? I let it go for 3 months. But after that it just burns me up. I know I should pick up the phone and ask how they liked the gift, but I resent having to do that. I am at the point of just knitting for my immediate family. Just venting.


How about including your email address or cell# for a tx msg? then you may get a response.


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## jeannietta (Mar 14, 2011)

martina said:


> As a Catholic I would be interested to learn the difference as I have never heard this before.


I just did a quick google search and it seems that Catholics prefer the crucifix with Jesus nailed to the cross, while Protestants prefer the empty cross signifying resurrection. I am no expert, since I am Jewish, but it is an interesting question.


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## jeannietta (Mar 14, 2011)

I see that I have touched a raw nerve here by starting this thread. I have read all of the comments, and they are very touching, and sometimes painful. Thanks to everyone who took the time to let us hear their personal experiences and their good advice.

Jeanne


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## Ask4j (May 21, 2011)

MrsRII said:


> In my advancing years I've learned the younger generation is just plain rude. I must share one incident: A cousin and her husband are deep into Protestant religion and ministry so I thought a gift for them would be appropriate. Thus, I handmade two lanyards, each with a (rather expensive) cross sent them. Time passed without word, so I finally phoned to see if the gifts had arrived. Instead of a thank you, I was rebuked with "You sent Catholic crosses!" End of gift-giving.


Unless you belong to the same organization I wouldn't touch religious cult beliefs--they do get prickly at times. You meant well but that is a personal area. This subject of "others not appreciating our craft gifts" has come up time and again. I would say the best rule is when you give something that you have worked at to create, it is NOT always appreciated and they show their displeasure in not responding. Case in point is my sister. I am an advanced knitter and I made her a beautiful lace capelet that I spend at least two months on and then again a soft white shoulder scarf of expensive blended yarns and a variety of glass beads, in my opinion, a lovely evening wrap. Her response was a request not to make anything more for her or her husband (older sisters are always mean, I think). She wears pictures of stuff on her clothes like big flowers or bird houses which say "I'm retired and lost my sense of taste in things".


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## SAMkewel (Mar 5, 2011)

Marny CA said:


> I know that I *DID* teach my children to write thank-you notes aside from how to cook, sew, and to clean and clear their own table after eating. My son's wife thanked me for teaching my son those things!
> 
> My children learned a lot from outside sources over which I had little to no control -- just as I did!
> 
> ...


I'm sorry your adult children have chosen the path they have. I had a stepdaughter and stepson who chose the same attitude. Sadly, neither one survived. One stayed in the area, the other moved away. The situation was very painful for me, although their father and biological mother seemed not to care. I do have to admit that the drop in the drama level in my life was an improvement, but the price was high. You and I are about the same age, I'm also 75. If you want to talk about it, either my experiences or yours, feel free to PM. It appears that we're both still hurting. I did not raise them to be the way they were, either. My own son and my eldest stepdaughter got the right messages. Sometimes we have no control over these things.


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## martina (Jun 24, 2012)

jeannietta said:


> I just did a quick google search and it seems that Catholics prefer the crucifix with Jesus nailed to the cross, while Protestants prefer the empty cross signifying resurrection. I am no expert, since I am Jewish, but it is an interesting question.


Thank you for taking the time to post this. I never thought of it that way. Catholics call a Cross with Jesus on, a Crucifix, but we have Crosses without Jesus on them also and call them Crosses to differentiate. Which was why I was confused. Very kind of you to take the time.


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## boncroft (Apr 16, 2014)

knitting a blanket is costly and no Thank you? I just changed my mind about making a baby gift for a neighbor.


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## sanditoes48 (Feb 6, 2013)

chickkie said:
 

> reminds me of a story about a grandmother that always gave her family a substantial gift of money every year, sent checks and never got a reply
> 
> one year she didn't sign the checks - everyone called her


very good one chickkie ;-)


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## sanditoes48 (Feb 6, 2013)

I must say I agree with you Donnathump ;-)


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## sanditoes48 (Feb 6, 2013)

Amen Marny CA


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## radar (Dec 6, 2011)

Marny CA said:


> I know that I *DID* teach my children to write thank-you notes aside from how to cook, sew, and to clean and clear their own table after eating. My son's wife thanked me for teaching my son those things!
> 
> My children learned a lot from outside sources over which I had little to no control -- just as I did!
> 
> ...


I gotta say that reading this brought tears to my eyes and made me so sad for you. I just do not understand that. I would give anything to have my MOM back and she has been gone 23 years now.


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## Jessica-Jean (Mar 14, 2011)

SAMkewel said:


> ... My own son and my eldest stepdaughter got the right messages. Sometimes we have no control over these things.


Only *sometimes*?? I believe it's more like always.

I feel that we begin losing control as soon as they begin to walk. My 'job' as parent ends - and is successful - when they set out on their own as self-sufficient adults. What decisions they take then are - consciously or unconsciously - influenced by whatever lessons they absorbed (from parents, other relatives, teachers, and their peers), in the growing up process and are entirely beyond parental control.

So, I don't sweat the fact that our daughter chose to live on the far side of the continent, and we don't get to see her even once a year or that our son, despite living one story above us in the same building, rarely communicates with us or comes to see us. Weeks can go by between sightings!


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## martina (Jun 24, 2012)

radar said:


> I gotta say that reading this brought tears to my eyes and made me so sad for you. I just do not understand that. I would give anything to have my MOM back and she has been gone 23 years now.


I feel the same as you. Will always miss both parents and grandparents.


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## coknitter960 (Jan 30, 2013)

Even some of my relatives are guilty of not giving thanks for gifts given.  I only make gifts for those who appreciate them and are courteous enough to call or send a thank you.


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## BUSSEY99 (Nov 15, 2011)

You have to give you handknitted gifts to people who know what they are getting. Some people call it homemade which they think it has no value. Others call it handmade and those people know they have just received a treasure.


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## MaryE-B (May 11, 2012)

abc123retired said:


> Forego the gifting side of your knitting and be happy you have an immediate family to knit for. My immediate family wont wear my knits. My daughter despises handmade items. I knit a hat for my GD and 2 days later a store bought one arrived to take its place. So here I am, retired, with time on my hands and I love to knit. I knit doll clothes. The five American Girl dolls that reside here are allowed to wear my knits and even get nice comments on their apparel at times. Knit because you knit. Why give it away to ungrateful people?


I agree about not knitting for ungrateful family members. When your AG dolls' wardrobes are bursting, you can always find a charity to knit for. Your donations will be appreciated. There are local abuse and homeless shelters who probably need hats and scarves for the people they serve. Many churches have ministries that accept donations. Oncology centers usually are thrilled to have hats donated. 
If you really like to make doll clothes, sell them on eBay or at a craft fair.


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## JuneS (Nov 3, 2011)

vikicooks said:


> I have made two baby blankets recently: never heard from one lady , the other sent a thank you and a picture of the baby wrapped in the blanket.


The picture of the baby wrapped in the blanket you made was the best thank-you you could have gotten. I knitted a lavender dress for my cousin's baby girl when I was 12 and she sent me a picture of her in it. 21 years later I received another picture of that girl's baby in the same little dress. Last year I received a third picture of another little girl in the same dress, granddaughter to the first baby. Talk about a treasured gift!


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## coneyislander (Sep 12, 2012)

when someone does not make use of my knitted item and puts it in the back of their drawer, I ask for the item back. I have even offered to pay someone for my knitted item. I work too hard for them not to use my gifts.
I can either use the item myself or I can give it to someone who appreciates it.


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## Pat FP (Nov 30, 2011)

We have given many gifts to our grandchildren, some thanks us some we hear nothing so we have a new rule " one and done" no call or note we move on with 39 grand kids we have others who appreciate the check or gift. They all but the youngest have a phone in their hand most of the time so thank you'd could be easily sent.


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## KnitterNatalie (Feb 20, 2011)

Chrissy said:


> Just knit for those people who DO appreciate what you make. :thumbup:


Amen!!


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## Faye10 (Mar 20, 2011)

I feel very lucky. I have three granddaughters. When ever I have knit something for them or their babies ( my great granddaughters) I always receive a picture of them wearing it. I have even been to lunch with them wearing it. Yes, I love to knit for my family.


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## Frannyward (Mar 22, 2012)

chickkie said:


> reminds me of a story about a grandmother that always gave her family a substantial gift of money every year, sent checks and never got a reply
> 
> one year she didn't sign the checks - everyone called her


I like that. :thumbup:


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## Rainyday (Jul 9, 2013)

DonnieK said:


> I am able to cut "first time new mommies" some slack after being with my kids when my gs was born. They really are in a learning curve the first couple of months. But, I can say that my DIL bought Thank You notes and one night I got up about 3am for water and there she was writing them all out. I was very proud of her. I picked up one of them and she had mentioned each item sent to her. That is very rare, but her Grandmother raised her the old school ways.
> I refuse to knit for anyone in particular because of lack of manners and indifference.


I always get a thank you from my lovely DIL. Though then she was expecting our first GD she was not too keen on hand knits but as she had to have both her babies early I made some knitted cardigans and jackets plus a shawl. Well she just beamed when she got them and the whole world knew that she loved them and I got a whole load of thank you hugs, from her, her Mum, dad, and loads more besides. I just love knitting for them. Now both GD's ask for help to knit fancy shawls for evening dress. And I get hugs and thank you gifts. I'm blessed many times over.


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## Nana mowers (Feb 17, 2014)

I am very blessed. My grown children love my knitted gifts, especially of all things burp cloths and bibs. They hate to use store bought as they are far less absorbent. My older two boys with babies send me pics with every item I drop off being used. And my youngest son is starting out on his own and has asked for household items doilies table runners and kitchen gear! Nothing makes me happier than getting these requests. Recently my oldest asked me if I could make the same hoodie that I used to make when they were little, I made it for him and he wore it to college, later asked me if it was ok to take orders as everyone loved it and could not believe it was hand knit.


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## Knitkin (Aug 8, 2013)

Yes, it happens time after time. They all want money I guess. You can't even be sure they'd thank you for that!! 

Sorry........one of life's sad lessons.

Maybe you need to just give knitted gifts to other knitters? There still ARE people who do appreciate kindness and generosity.


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## 33141 (Aug 24, 2011)

I knit a lovely blanket, jacket, hat and booties for the grand baby of my friend. My friend loved them but I never heard a peep from the Mom. I would have appreciated even a phone call, but took satisfaction from the happiness of her Mom. I probably wouldn't knit another set like that unless I knew the Mom would love and use it. Most of the time, I'd rather knit bear sweaters for the trauma bears, I know the children that receive the bears treasure them.


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## MrsRII (Jun 9, 2013)

My cousin informed me a Catholic cross has a crucifix; Protestant does not. It was news to me, too.


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## Jessica-Jean (Mar 14, 2011)

MrsRII said:


> My cousin informed me a Catholic cross has a crucifix; Protestant does not. It was news to me, too.


 :?: Perhaps you meant to post this remark in a different topic? At any rate and according to Wikipedia, some Protestant groups _do_ use a crucifix. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crucifix

As always, when in doubt, google it!


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## tmhutch (Oct 6, 2012)

Just to know the comment about crucifix was in response to MrsRII on page 15 of this topic/thread.


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## Jessica-Jean (Mar 14, 2011)

tmhutch said:


> Just to know the comment about crucifix was in response to MrsRII on page 15 of this topic/thread.


  Sorry. I thought I had read all the posts on this topic. I guess I must have skimmed over that part of it.


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## tmhutch (Oct 6, 2012)

No worries. I have done the same thing. I just like to know and thought you would too.

Have a super day!


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## burgher (Feb 9, 2013)

jonibee said:


> I can understand how unappreciative your recipients are. It seems manners have taken a back seat now a days..I just come out and ask them if they liked their gift via verbal or e-mail. Sometimes it puts them on a spot, but next time they may say Thank You for your thoughtfulness..it costs nothing but means alot espeically the next time around.


Even if they don't like it and will never use it, they should know that you were thoughtful and put effort into the making of it and for that they should thank you. I do think that a lot of people forgot how to say thank you or how good those two words make the giver feel.


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## Ros Tyler (Jan 2, 2014)

There are those out there who never say thanks regardless of the gift! I knit and sew for my grandchildren only - that keeps me busy enough! ;-)


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## radar (Dec 6, 2011)

Jessica-Jean said:


> Only *sometimes*?? I believe it's more like always.
> 
> I feel that we begin losing control as soon as they begin to walk. My 'job' as parent ends - and is successful - when they set out on their own as self-sufficient adults. What decisions they take then are - consciously or unconsciously - influenced by whatever lessons they absorbed (from parents, other relatives, teachers, and their peers), in the growing up process and are entirely beyond parental control.
> 
> So, I don't sweat the fact that our daughter chose to live on the far side of the continent, and we don't get to see her even once a year or that our son, despite living one story above us in the same building, rarely communicates with us or comes to see us. Weeks can go by between sightings!


 Big hugs to you JJ. Their loss for a fact


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## Ozzie Jane (Jul 5, 2013)

Chrissy said:


> Just knit for those people who DO appreciate what you make. :thumbup:


How do you work out who is appreciative??? I don't blame you for venting, it's just rude not to acknowledge that someone gave you a gift with no strings attached. Some people just take and never give anything back, not even a simple "thank you". Jane


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## mavisb (Apr 18, 2011)

I nit baby outfits for two friends who were having babies and they were due a week apart. The friend from work bought her baby in with the matinee jacket I made because she had outgrown the dress and booties. The other one did write and say thank you to me.

People at work have always thanked me for my handknit gifts and were over the moon with what colours I chose and also the item. So I am very lucky indeed.


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## katielm68 (Dec 8, 2012)

I have received thank you cards for all the items included with the knitted item at a baby shower, but never saw the baby using any of the knitted items - booties, sweater, blankets.
When my nieces were babies I knitted and crocheted stuff for them and never saw them wear the items, so I stopped giving to them and their parents. Sad that our time making these things isn't appreciated. 
But I have received many kind words from strangers who bought my items for a Relay for Life fundraiser and this meant so much to me. 
Keep knitting enjoy your hobby and if you give for charity don't expect thanks, after all you did it to help those in need and that should be enough acknowledgement. Before you give your things away, take a picture, post here and we will show you how much we appreciate your work. Happy knitting


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## Jessica-Jean (Mar 14, 2011)

katielm68 said:


> I have received thank you cards for all the items included with the knitted item at a baby shower, but never saw the baby using any of the knitted items - booties, sweater, blankets.
> When my nieces were babies I knitted and crocheted stuff for them and never saw them wear the items, so I stopped giving to them and their parents. Sad that our time making these things isn't appreciated.
> But I have received many kind words from strangers who bought my items for a Relay for Life fundraiser and this meant so much to me.
> Keep knitting enjoy your hobby and if you give for charity don't expect thanks, after all you did it to help those in need and that should be enough acknowledgement. Before you give your things away, take a picture, post here and we will show you how much we appreciate your work. Happy knitting


 :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## agallant (Apr 14, 2013)

that's is why I knit for charity...knit for kids at world vision. I just mailed out 6 sweaters..for kids all around the world who need a warm sweater. I's appreciated I'm sure.


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## Wendy2Pederson (Dec 7, 2012)

I am very fotunate I guess. My daughter is always picking ot things for me to make for her and some of her best friends. I made the outfit in my avatar picture for her best friends neice. I received a picture of baby wearing it and a video of when she opened it. I guess I am very lucky to have my knits appreciated.


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## rose haft (Jul 30, 2011)

We just returned from a car trip north. I heard a nephew was bringing up his wife and 5 mo. old daughter. On the way up I crocheted a pink star blanket just large enough for summer. Not only did I get thanked in person but saw Caitlin's picture on Facebook with it. It DOES make a difference when the recipients appreciate the handwork.


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## sockyarn (Jan 26, 2011)

No Thank You will get them No gift ever again. And I do mean never again. :thumbdown:


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## kmangal16 (Mar 26, 2013)

katielm68 said:


> I have received thank you cards for all the items included with the knitted item at a baby shower, but never saw the baby using any of the knitted items - booties, sweater, blankets.
> When my nieces were babies I knitted and crocheted stuff for them and never saw them wear the items, so I stopped giving to them and their parents. Sad that our time making these things isn't appreciated.
> But I have received many kind words from strangers who bought my items for a Relay for Life fundraiser and this meant so much to me.
> Keep knitting enjoy your hobby and if you give for charity don't expect thanks, after all you did it to help those in need and that should be enough acknowledgement. Before you give your things away, take a picture, post here and we will show you how much we appreciate your work. Happy knitting


Absolutely.

:thumbup:


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