# Just when I thought that I had heard it all....part II



## NanBasKnit (Oct 4, 2013)

I share space at a craft "shack" with a friend who makes jewelry. My knitting is on one side, her jewelry is on the other. We get a lot of tourist through the booth. Yesterday, three women came into the space and started oooohing and aaaahhhing over the jewelry, saying that it was the nicest they have ever seen and how talented I must be! I shared that I was the knitter and did not make the jewelry. This is when one of the women replied, "Then you aren't that talented, are you?" Not one of the three women turned around to even look at me as they giggled in harmony at the ignorant comment.

I used some advice that I got from a fellow k'per when insults are thrown my way... I said "Well, bless your little heart!" It kept me from being rude back to them...gave me something to say other than a hurtful reply.

Thanks cindye6556 for this wonderful suggestion! 

What I really wanted to say was: did you leave your manners at home? as I booted their butts out the door! 

Their behavior showed me that I NEVER want to be as insensitive as that to another human being.


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## Dlclose (Jun 26, 2011)

Great reply! Anything else would have been lost on them and probably would have hurt your business as they told the tale.


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## springdh (Feb 26, 2012)

I find it hard to believe that a perfect stranger would come out with a statement such as that. You did well - I will have to remember that response.....hopefully "what goes around will come around" to that woman!


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## Beila Charna (Apr 28, 2012)

Your signature line is perfect. Good on you for not going to their level. Obviously, your parents raised you right.


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## gigi 722 (Oct 25, 2011)

You are going to get an extra star in your crown for that reply. Good job.


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## VeronicaK2P2 (Jan 31, 2011)

Great comeback!


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## Sapphires-n-Purls (Oct 16, 2013)

:shock: Gee, how rude! Good for you for handling it well.


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## Munchn (Mar 3, 2013)

I just don't understand why anyone make such a rude comment that has no value. I know what her talent isn't~~ manners/etiquette. :roll: :roll: :roll:


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## Linuxgirl (May 25, 2013)

I think my comment would have been: at least I'm more talented in the manners department than some people inside here.
Congrats on your restraint and patience. Really, you have to wonder if some people didn't grow up in the cowshed as we say here the way they act.


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## Bombshellknits (Feb 2, 2013)

Gertrude Stein said:


> I share space at a craft "shack" with a friend who makes jewelry. My knitting is on one side, her jewelry is on the other. We get a lot of tourist through the booth. Yesterday, three women came into the space and started oooohing and aaaahhhing over the jewelry, saying that it was the nicest they have ever seen and how talented I must be! I shared that I was the knitter and did not make the jewelry. This is when one of the women replied, "Then you aren't that talented, are you?" Not one of the three women turned around to even look at me as they giggled in harmony at the ignorant comment.
> 
> I used some advice that I got from a fellow k'per when insults are thrown my way... I said "Well, bless your little heart!" It kept me from being rude back to them...gave me something to say other than a hurtful reply.
> 
> ...


You were very polite to women who act like they are still in high school. I would have asked them if they were also knitters, since they didn't seem to value your work. Some people never leave high school.


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## Pandapatt (Jun 9, 2011)

I guess being in business subjects you to all kinds of people. I hope she isn't representative of the majority. There is no excuse for downright rudeness. You definitely upstaged her!


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## MissyT05 (Mar 27, 2011)

I had a similar experience at a craft show. I woman commented nicely on a knitted shawl and held up one end for all to see. She then loudly said, "Made in China, no doubt." 
The people around us gasped in unison and you could hear a pin drop. Wish I knew about your comment, it would have fit perfectly. I just said, "No, I made it." I'm sure the look on my face wasn't pleasant. She just walked away.


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## cindye6556 (Apr 6, 2011)

You're more than welcome, and glad you were able to put it to use. The sad thing is the true meaning of the phrase was probably lost on them....lol. I would have probably had to have followed it up with the comment "did your mama not teach you any manners?" But I like you was raised better than that, and also know that if I can't say something nice to say nothing at all other than the "BYLH" comment since it does cover a multitude of sins! 

Hopefully you'll have better mannered people to deal with in the coming days. Keep your head up, and remember sometimes when dealing with the public you darn near have to bite your tongue off!


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## Cyber Granny (Sep 30, 2013)

How rude, some mothers children !!!!!


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## cindye6556 (Apr 6, 2011)

maryann1701 said:


> How rude, some mothers children !!!!!


But remember "the apple don't fall far from the tree."


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## cindye6556 (Apr 6, 2011)

maryann1701 said:


> How rude, some mothers children !!!!!


But remember "the apple don't fall far from the tree."


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## Ms. Tess (Mar 2, 2012)

Sad thing is that they probably thought you were sincere. Ignorant people usually don't "get" sarcasm. It goes way over their heads...I think that's because they usually have them shoved up their own arses! Good for you, you handled it with grace and charm. If anyone had over heard that, they would know exactly where the dart landed! =)


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## jbandsma (Mar 6, 2011)

Gertrude Stein said:


> I share space at a craft "shack" with a friend who makes jewelry. My knitting is on one side, her jewelry is on the other. We get a lot of tourist through the booth. Yesterday, three women came into the space and started oooohing and aaaahhhing over the jewelry, saying that it was the nicest they have ever seen and how talented I must be! I shared that I was the knitter and did not make the jewelry. This is when one of the women replied, "Then you aren't that talented, are you?" Not one of the three women turned around to even look at me as they giggled in harmony at the ignorant comment.
> 
> I used some advice that I got from a fellow k'per when insults are thrown my way... I said "Well, bless your little heart!" It kept me from being rude back to them...gave me something to say other than a hurtful reply.
> 
> ...


Oh my dear, I have to laugh because here in the south that IS a really rude reply...and is understood as such. Take heart in knowing that now you know...even if they don't.


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## Casey47 (Feb 5, 2014)

You did the right thing and you did it nicely. People who attend art and/or craft shows need to learn to appreciate the creative process and understand that part of the artist goes into everything they make. No, you aren't expected to like everything you see but you should be able to appreciate it - either that or keep your mouth shut because the person who made it isn't in China. The artist is right there and can hear everything you say.


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## Clancy P (Feb 26, 2014)

jbandsma said:


> Oh my dear, I have to laugh because here in the south that IS a really rude reply...and is understood as such. Take heart in knowing that now you know...even if they don't.


Not always a rude reply, sometimes a very sincere 'bless you'. It's all purpose, as is the old joke "Oh, my, how nice".


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## cindye6556 (Apr 6, 2011)

jbandsma said:


> Oh my dear, I have to laugh because here in the south that IS a really rude reply...and is understood as such. Take heart in knowing that now you know...even if they don't.


I was born and raised in the south, and like you I probably have a million of them. You're correct that it is rude, but most folk don't know that, and for the "uneducated" is always a great comeback.


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## jbandsma (Mar 6, 2011)

Clancy P said:


> Not always a rude reply, sometimes a very sincere 'bless you'. It's all purpose, as is the old joke "Oh, my, how nice".


Nope. A sincere bless you leaves out the "little" part and adds a bit of what you're blessing them for.

Bless your little heart (can't do the proper inflection in type, imagine it in a SC accent...better yet, imagine Lindsey Graham saying it) is a put down, nothing less.

Bless your heart (you must really be in pain over that/that's a shame/do you need any help) is a sincere offering.


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## cindye6556 (Apr 6, 2011)

jbandsma said:


> Nope. A sincere bless you leaves out the "little" part and adds a bit of what you're blessing them for.
> 
> Bless your little heart (can't do the proper inflection in type, imagine it in a SC accent...better yet, imagine Lindsey Graham saying it) is a put down, nothing less.
> 
> Bless your heart (you must really be in pain over that/that's a shame/do you need any help) is a sincere offering.


 :thumbup: :thumbup:

Is hard to explain to people that aren't from the south, and used to hearing these terms said with just the right tone. Like "butter wouldn't melt in his/her mouth." We have the unique ability to take something that sounds so innocent, and heartfelt, and filling it with either sincerity or sarcasm!  :lol:


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## jbandsma (Mar 6, 2011)

cindye6556 said:


> :thumbup: :thumbup:
> 
> Is hard to explain to people that aren't from the south, and used to hearing these terms said with just the right tone. Like "butter wouldn't melt in his/her mouth." We have the unique ability to take something that sounds so innocent, and heartfelt, and filling it with either sincerity or sarcasm!  :lol:


Well, I'm originally from PA, born and raised but have lived here (off and on) for the last 50 years. Another 300 and I'll almost be considered a native.


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## cindye6556 (Apr 6, 2011)

jbandsma said:


> Well, I'm originally from PA, born and raised but have lived here (off and on) for the last 50 years. Another 300 and I'll almost be considered a native.


At least that long....It's the same here in CO. We've been here 8 yrs, and like you I figure after about 300 yrs will be considered "semi-native".


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## Dcsmith77 (Apr 18, 2011)

I am now practicing lots of different inflections to use with the phrase "Bless your heart." 

Reminds me of a priest we had once, who suggested that when someone is rude, consider that they may just have a bad case of indigestion. Let's wish this on those ignorant broads.

Edit: I will practice "Bless your LITTLE heart."


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## jbandsma (Mar 6, 2011)

Dcsmith77 said:


> I am now practicing lots of different inflections to use with the phrase "Bless your heart."
> 
> Reminds me of a priest we had once, who suggested that when someone is rude, consider that they may just have a bad case of indigestion. Let's wish this on those ignorant broads.


You HAVE to add the "little" in there before 'heart'. Trust me, it's essential for getting the right inflection. It's the southern belle way of saying "now aren't you some kind of special stupid"


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## cindye6556 (Apr 6, 2011)

jbandsma said:


> You HAVE to add the "little" in there before 'heart'. Trust me, it's essential for getting the right inflection. It's the southern belle way of saying "now aren't you some kind of special stupid"


 :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:

Yep, and you can always tell when someone was either raised in the south, or been around "old timers" enough that they understand. You can always tell if you're talking to a GRITS or not by the phrases we use. (Girls raised in the South!)


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## cinjean48 (Sep 16, 2013)

Many, many years ago I worked as a waitress in a small cafe in Kansas. Several times a week men from the oil fields would come in for lunch. Of course, all the local folks were there also. One such man was the dentists' son, who was somewhat of a geek and definetly a mammas boy. One day at lunch, the oil field workers were making fun of the dentists' son. I thought how rude could they be. Suppose he heard them. As I approached their table to take their order, one made a really rude comment. Very sadly, I informed them that they were talking about my husband. You could have heard a pin drop. I took their order and walked away from their table with my head hanging (mostly to keep them from seeing the grin on my face). To this day, I doubt that they even know that he was not my husband. Oh by the way, there was a $20. tip on the table with a lengthly apology. You just never know .


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## knitster475 (Apr 30, 2014)

What a perfect comment! I hope you put the emphasis on "little"! Then again, I wonder if they would have been smart enough to get it. I really love the "some special kind of stupid". I'll have to remember that.


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## Norma B. (Oct 15, 2012)

Gertrude Stein said:


> I used some advice that I got from a fellow k'per when insults are thrown my way... I said "Well, bless your little heart!" It kept me from being rude back to them...gave me something to say other than a hurtful reply.


I expect many of you have heard the "anecdote" about the southern woman who's caught waiting for a plane with three other women. Each one brags about what her husband gave her for their tenth anniversary. A yacht, a mansion, a world cruise or some such. After each proclamation our southern lady commented "I'n that PRE-Shus!" They then turned her and asked what SHE got. She replied "Charm school lessons". They all smirked and asked what earthly good THAT was? And she drawled sweetly "Well I learned to say "I'n that PRE-Shus" instead of "Who gives a s---." :XD:


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## cindye6556 (Apr 6, 2011)

Norma B. said:


> I expect many of you have heard the "anecdote" about the southern woman who's caught waiting for a plane with three other women. Each one brags about what her husband gave her for their tenth anniversary. A yacht, a mansion, a world cruise or some such. After each proclamation our southern lady commented "I'n that PRE-Shus!" They then turned her and asked what SHE got. She replied "Charm school lessons". They all smirked and asked what earthly good THAT was? And she drawled sweetly "Well I learned to say "I'n that PRE-Shus" instead of "Who gives a s---." :XD:


 :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:

I also heard that one a lot while growing up. But my Mom and Granny's favorite was the "Bless your little heart" so you tend to stick with what you know, and passed down through the ages. Kind of like the biscuit recipe.


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## PaKnitter (Mar 7, 2011)

I swear people got dumber when they learned how to walk upright on two legs!


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## Clancy P (Feb 26, 2014)

Norma B. said:


> I expect many of you have heard the "anecdote" about the southern woman who's caught waiting for a plane with three other women. Each one brags about what her husband gave her for their tenth anniversary. A yacht, a mansion, a world cruise or some such. After each proclamation our southern lady commented "I'n that PRE-Shus!" They then turned her and asked what SHE got. She replied "Charm school lessons". They all smirked and asked what earthly good THAT was? And she drawled sweetly "Well I learned to say "I'n that PRE-Shus" instead of "Who gives a s---." :XD:


As I alluded to in my post, I learned it as "Oh, my, how nice" instead of "---- you".


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## cindye6556 (Apr 6, 2011)

PaKnitter said:


> I swear people got dumber when they learned how to walk upright on two legs!


I also think it's a matter of manners, parents just don't seem to be teaching them any longer, and probably because they either weren't taught them or they just don't give a darn anymore. I know at my age (58) if my mom or dad were still alive and heard me say something I'd still get "the look" and my son will tell folks that at his age (34) I still scare him when it comes to manners LOL


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## cindye6556 (Apr 6, 2011)

deleted....double post


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## cindye6556 (Apr 6, 2011)

Clancy P said:


> As I alluded to in my post, I learned it as "Oh, my, how nice" instead of "---- you".


But sometime only ---- you! will do!


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## jbandsma (Mar 6, 2011)

cindye6556 said:


> I also think it's a matter of manners, parents just don't seem to be teaching them any longer, and probably because they either weren't taught them or they just don't give a darn anymore. I know at my age (58) if my mom or dad were still alive and heard me say something I'd still get "the look" and my son will tell folks that at his age (34) I still scare him when it comes to manners LOL


I think it's more a problem of parents not having the time...being too busy trying to keep a roof over their heads and food on the table. Working 4 jobs between 2 people (and sometimes even more) that don't pay anything really doesn't leave much time for effective teaching of manners. I remember when my youngest was about 2, before I met my husband -I- was working 4 jobs and had a hard time meeting the bills. At the end of the day, he was lucky to get a bath. That was more than 40 years ago and the economic situation is a lot worse now than it was then.


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## VeronicaK2P2 (Jan 31, 2011)

"Ouch, that hurt"......was my first thought to say. It validates to yourself and them that a mean comment was made.


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## NanBasKnit (Oct 4, 2013)

I love it! Special stupid!

I didn't know that the saying "Bless your LITTLE heart" was a put down. I just said it to keep myself from saying what I really wanted to say in reply. The ladies that were responsible for saying the rude comment were from the South, so I am assuming that they got the point of my reply. Next time, I will leave out the word "LITTLE", though. Well, I will leave it out if I can catch myself before it's just escapes pass my lips! I shared with the other crafters this special "Bless you" reply...now they all use it!

I do a lot of shows, see a lot of odd balls and hear a lot of not so nice comments. At first, I was appalled. Now I just wonder how some people got to be so unpleasant.

Thanks, Ladies, for sharing your thoughts with me! I am sure there will be another crazy comment at the craft show regarding my work before the week is over.



jbandsma said:


> You HAVE to add the "little" in there before 'heart'. Trust me, it's essential for getting the right inflection. It's the southern belle way of saying "now aren't you some kind of special stupid"


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## cindye6556 (Apr 6, 2011)

jbandsma said:


> I think it's more a problem of parents not having the time...being too busy trying to keep a roof over their heads and food on the table. Working 4 jobs between 2 people (and sometimes even more) that don't pay anything really doesn't leave much time for effective teaching of manners. I remember when my youngest was about 2, before I met my husband -I- was working 4 jobs and had a hard time meeting the bills. At the end of the day, he was lucky to get a bath. That was more than 40 years ago and the economic situation is a lot worse now than it was then.


Sorry to disagree with you, but there is always time to teach manners. When the person at grocery store lets you go ahead of them because you only have 5 items versus their buggy full, when someone holds the door for you. Those are learning opportunities when your child hears you say "thanks". Maybe I'm wrong, but JMHO.


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## PaKnitter (Mar 7, 2011)

cindye6556 said:


> Sorry to disagree with you, but there is always time to teach manners. When the person at grocery store lets you go ahead of them because you only have 5 items versus their buggy full, when someone holds the door for you. Those are learning opportunities when your child hears you say "thanks". Maybe I'm wrong, but JMHO.


 :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:

Totally unrelated to the orginal post but my neighbor up the street said he doesn't have to listen to any one because we are average people and he has a higher IQ than any of us. Now who do you suppose put that crap in his head but his parents.
He does have a high IQ but no social skills at all. His parents think he walks on water. He is a odd character for sure.


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## Donnabellah (Jul 12, 2011)

I heard you should say things with a smile on your face! How's this - My you must have left your manners at home! Big SMILE!!


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## cindye6556 (Apr 6, 2011)

PaKnitter said:


> :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:
> 
> Totally unrelated to the orginal post but my neighbor up the street said he doesn't have to listen to any one because we are average people and he has a higher IQ than any of us. Now who do you suppose put that crap in his head but his parents.
> He does have a high IQ but no social skills at all. His parents think he walks on water. He is a odd character for sure.


Don't know his age but bet he either grows up or grew up to think he's one of the "entitled ones".

"Common sense is not so common." Voltaire. My favorite quote I suppose because I always heard my mama say something along the lines of " you can have all the book learning in the world, but still be dumb as a box of rocks". It was true then, and I think even truer today. I have friends that are "book smart" and common sense dumb, and I wonder how they've managed to survive. One of them actually told me that green beans only came in a can. I asked her how she thought they got there, and took her out to garden and showed her this is where they start out. Told me they couldn't possibly be any good growing in the dirt like that.....I just cried.


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## cindye6556 (Apr 6, 2011)

PaKnitter said:


> :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:
> 
> deleted double post! :hunf: :hunf: :hunf: :hunf:


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## NanBasKnit (Oct 4, 2013)

I will try your suggestion next time someone feels compelled to say something that is mean. I will let you know how it goes! Thanks for the suggestion!



Donnabellah said:


> I heard you should say things with a smile on your face! How's this - My you must have left your manners at home! Big SMILE!!


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## LadyElle (Oct 4, 2012)

Obviously I that person had absolutely no concept of what creating anything requires she had no appreciation for craftsmanship on any level. She has probably never created anything of consequence.


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## bettyirene (Apr 5, 2012)

You did so well, I wouldn't have been that nice - but then usually my mouth goes off before the brain kicks in.


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## grandmatimestwo (Mar 30, 2011)

You were definitely the bigger person! I'm not sure I would have been so kind!


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## Doodlebug (Jan 4, 2014)

Well, just goes to show what a credit they to their mothers teachings doesn't it. My mother would have smacked up side the head for a comment like that AND made me go back and apologize.


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## jbandsma (Mar 6, 2011)

Donnabellah said:


> I heard you should say things with a smile on your face! How's this - My you must have left your manners at home! Big SMILE!!


I have a mug that says "Smile! It makes people wonder what you've been up to."


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## RiverSong (Sep 12, 2012)

Kudos to you for handling that the way you did. I hope that if someone says something like that to me, I can handle it with the same level of maturity.


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## tamarque (Jan 21, 2011)

I have run into this very attitude in my non-craft business. Once when I was younger and newer in my work, I quoted a price which was dirt cheap--was too naive to place more value on my work. The potential customer said "i can get a high school kid to do it for less." I was an adult and parent of two children and brought maturity and skill to the job. Years later my chiropractor said to someone in front of me--"Oh, tanya didn't do the work. her crew did it!" Who put the project together and monitored it and ensured the quality of the work? Some of it was his sexism and some of it was his classism and some of it was just plain arrogance and power tripping.

I also know that if people think they can do the work then they devalue it. And sorry to say that knitting and crocheting are skills that many remember their grandmother doing which were taken for granted. Women's work is still devalued. Your rude customer would never have said that to a man!


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## yooperdooper (Jan 3, 2013)

you were dead right, they really need to be blessed with some manners.


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## Knitter forever (Dec 11, 2011)

I would have said,your manners are showing,you were really brought up right. Did they buy any jewelry? Some people will never have manners. I'll bet she doesn't have any friends, remember if you cannt say anything nice,then keep your pie hole shut.


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## disgo (Mar 2, 2013)

Having too many years in the business I doubt very much they were complimenting her work--quite the opposite I'm afraid like the one mentioning the woman picking up the shawl. I only took any attention to those that give compliments to me personally and privately and support it with their pocket book. Those women were using their "compliments" to make them feel more superior which is their right. Any reply back only confirms their feeling of power so as I was taught silence is the best response and make no nonverbal expressions--just like dealing with a child because that is what they are. Notice they were in a group just like all bullies that have power issues and are looking for a victim.


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## Woefkins (Dec 14, 2012)

I've been thinking about that remark some time and wondered what she would have done if you said "Oh, so you're a knitter too". 
That is after you gave her the "Bless your LITTLE heart" part.
I'm of the opinion too that many younger people are lacking in the manners department. But then, some of the oldies are lacking good manners too. 
Hannet


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## fireflywithyarn (Jun 2, 2011)

cindye6556 said:


> One of them actually told me that green beans only came in a can. I asked her how she thought they got there, and took her out to garden and showed her this is where they start out. Told me they couldn't possibly be any good growing in the dirt like that.....I just cried.


 :thumbup:


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## cydneyjo (Aug 5, 2011)

Unless they were southerners, they had no idea you were being sarcastic.


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## TapestryArtist (Sep 4, 2013)

When I was in the restaurant business I noticed something about the occasional three-woman dining group. Remember now, I said occasional. Being rude to a waitress was seldom done when there were two women dining together. BUT..... when three women dined together it sometimes happened that they "ran" the waitress, (sending her back over and over to get something), and spoke rudely to her. They were bullies.


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## Bunbun (Feb 13, 2013)

the only time I ever got angry was doing a show on a wood boardwalk with 95 degree heat. I'd had company all week who did absolutely nothing to help at home and I was having my period so I was NOT in a good mood as it was and the heat didn't help. This was when you could buy a wood stool for $2. I had painted a stool and had $5 on it and some lady came by and said to her friend "look at that, put a DECAL on a stool and have the nerve to charge $5." I was so angry I just blurted out that if she opened her eyes she'd see the piece was handpainted and NOT a decal. She just shrugged and walked on.


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## knitster475 (Apr 30, 2014)

jbandsma said:


> I think it's more a problem of parents not having the time...being too busy trying to keep a roof over their heads and food on the table. Working 4 jobs between 2 people (and sometimes even more) that don't pay anything really doesn't leave much time for effective teaching of manners. I remember when my youngest was about 2, before I met my husband -I- was working 4 jobs and had a hard time meeting the bills. At the end of the day, he was lucky to get a bath. That was more than 40 years ago and the economic situation is a lot worse now than it was then.


As a teacher, I have taught in Title 1 schools (schools with high poverty rates and in schools where kids come from very affluent families. Manners or lack thereof do not correlate with affluence. In fact, some of the most rude arrogant kids are affluent, not kids in poverty. If the parents have manners, they teach that to their kids automatically. It doesn't take time. It is a life style that is passed on to children. Kids learn far more by observing what parents do and how they behave than from what parents merely tell them to do making that old phrase "do as I say, not as I do" is completely worthless.


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## .79315 (Dec 5, 2012)

Bless you for your exemplementry example. I could have instantly thought of at least two dozen scathing snappy come backs for her remark before I thought of the one you choose. You are, my dear, a lady in the ultimate sense. My DH would say, Save your breath there are some persons who are "ignorant and proud of it." Over the years, even if I learned nothing else. I have learned two things: 1. you cannot scare stupid, and 2. you cannot insult ignorant.


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## cathyknits (Nov 1, 2012)

I didn't have time to go through all the comments just now but I will later today, for sure. I just had to say that I have used "Bless your heart" a few times lately and received SUCH satisfaction! Good for you for pulling it out at the right moment.


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## knitster475 (Apr 30, 2014)

cindye6556 said:


> Don't know his age but bet he either grows up or grew up to think he's one of the "entitled ones".
> 
> "Common sense is not so common." Voltaire. My favorite quote I suppose because I always heard my mama say something along the lines of " you can have all the book learning in the world, but still be dumb as a box of rocks". It was true then, and I think even truer today. I have friends that are "book smart" and common sense dumb, and I wonder how they've managed to survive. One of them actually told me that green beans only came in a can. I asked her how she thought they got there, and took her out to garden and showed her this is where they start out. Told me they couldn't possibly be any good growing in the dirt like that.....I just cried.


Hmmm. Seems she must be suffering from lead poisoning from all those canned beans? It's interfering with her ability to think.

I remember a show Jack Parr did many many years ago that featured a series of practical jokes. One was about the spaghetti harvest in Italy and showed all these peasant women harvesting long strands of spaghetti from trees. Another was of a large fishbowl with only water in it placed on a table outside a pet shop with a sign "Invisible fighting fish" and several people were crowded around trying to see the fish fighting".

Here's the link to the youtube video of the spaghetti harvest video produced by bbc. When it comes to humor the British are the world's absolute masters!


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## knitster475 (Apr 30, 2014)

TapestryArtist said:


> When I was in the restaurant business I noticed something about the occasional three-woman dining group. Remember now, I said occasional. Being rude to a waitress was seldom done when there were two women dining together. BUT..... when three women dined together it sometimes happened that they "ran" the waitress, (sending her back over and over to get something), and spoke rudely to her. They were bullies.


I think a group of 3 women is sometimes a dangerous thing. By the time I was being called to go back the third time, I think I would ask, completely innocently of course "have you ladies heard about the 3 girls in Wisconsin recently where 2 of them tried to murder the third? Let them mull it over for a while.(true story)


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## Kathie (Mar 29, 2011)

cinjean48 said:


> Many, many years ago I worked as a waitress in a small cafe in Kansas. Several times a week men from the oil fields would come in for lunch. Of course, all the local folks were there also. One such man was the dentists' son, who was somewhat of a geek and definetly a mammas boy. One day at lunch, the oil field workers were making fun of the dentists' son. I thought how rude could they be. Suppose he heard them. As I approached their table to take their order, one made a really rude comment. Very sadly, I informed them that they were talking about my husband. You could have heard a pin drop. I took their order and walked away from their table with my head hanging (mostly to keep them from seeing the grin on my face). To this day, I doubt that they even know that he was not my husband. Oh by the way, there was a $20. tip on the table with a lengthly apology. You just never know .


I love it.


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## SherryH (Apr 4, 2011)

What a lovely comeback to such a rude comment!


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## Dsynr (Jun 3, 2011)

jbandsma said:


> Nope. A sincere bless you leaves out the "little" part and adds a bit of what you're blessing them for.
> 
> Bless your little heart (can't do the proper inflection in type, imagine it in a SC accent...better yet, imagine Lindsey Graham saying it) is a put down, nothing less.
> 
> Bless your heart (you must really be in pain over that/that's a shame/do you need any help) is a sincere offering.


True. I heard it with a West Virginia or North Carolina accent most of my [misspent---I wasn't knitting allatime LOL] youth.
Most Northerners don't know the difference between the phrase with and without the "little", either!


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## Kathie (Mar 29, 2011)

jbandsma said:


> Oh my dear, I have to laugh because here in the south that IS a really rude reply...and is understood as such. Take heart in knowing that now you know...even if they don't.


Wow. You can tell I'm a northerner through and through. I had no idea that was an insult. I have heard unbelievable nasty remarks made about artwork displayed at the yearly juried art show in Green Bay. It's a large festival and people from all over the country send art to be judged just to have a spot in this show. The talent and offerings are wonderful and varied. Sure there lots of things I wouldn't put in my home but that doesn't mean they aren't wonderful. I'm always embarrassed when I hear those comments as the artist are usually manning their displays. They must develop pretty thick skins to be able to do this year after year. I'll have to remember that come back.


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## janis blondel (May 20, 2011)

Your a very special person to handle this situation so well some people are just very ignorant. I am in a wheelchair and a few weeks ago I overheard a lady say to her husband, these people in wheelchairs should not be allowed in shops they take up too much room, I smiled sweetly at her and said aren't you a darling, she was mortified.


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## stchorz101 (Dec 6, 2012)

Good for you, you showed class.


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## deshka (Apr 6, 2011)

Back when my son was working in the auto dept. of a big chain store, he was also a Marine, filling in at the store on extra busy times, my dil told me he had one big problem and that was RUDE CUSTOMER. 
Another incident I was in an antique and collectables store, rude customer was also in store. He was most likely a husband that was angry because his wife wanted to browse the store. He was going around making nasty remarks about all the merchandise. The gal working the store was almost in tears, so I mentioned the guy and she said he had driven out many customers and that she as the store personnel could not say anything to him, so I said, Maybe you can't, but another customer can. I went over by him and told him he was ruining other customers experience in the store and it was not appreciated. He turned on me and ask me who the hell I thought I was. told him I didn't 'think' I was anyone, but I knew who I was and it was not a rude customer. I told him it was obvious he was not interested in being in the store and if he disliked it so much he should leave, and there are benches out in the corridor for people like him. His wife heard me talking to him and she said nothing. He left and the store gal winked at me as I left. So, remember your saying and Rude Customer go together. You did good with your statement to them, and I hope they choke on a coke and blow it out their noses.


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## Karenno1 (Mar 17, 2014)

How rude are they I admire your repose .....I'm not a very patient person when it comes to other peoples rudeness .........manners cost nothing and please and thank you goes a long way .......well done and ignore these small minded people ,you get that type everywhere you go


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## Carmela51 (Jan 12, 2013)

I am ha[[y that you took the higher road. My mom always says "when you know better you do better", and that is exactly what you did.


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## cindye6556 (Apr 6, 2011)

cydneyjo said:


> Unless they were southerners, they had no idea you were being sarcastic.


That's true, but to me sometimes just getting that little "dig" in and being the only one that gets the "joke" is okay too.


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## dijewe (Mar 1, 2011)

cindye6556 said:


> Don't know his age but bet he either grows up or grew up to think he's one of the "entitled ones".
> 
> "Common sense is not so common." Voltaire. My favorite quote I suppose because I always heard my mama say something along the lines of " you can have all the book learning in the world, but still be dumb as a box of rocks". It was true then, and I think even truer today. I have friends that are "book smart" and common sense dumb, and I wonder how they've managed to survive. One of them actually told me that green beans only came in a can. I asked her how she thought they got there, and took her out to garden and showed her this is where they start out. Told me they couldn't possibly be any good growing in the dirt like that.....I just cried.


I just cried .........with laughter. It's so hard to believe how ignorant people are despite the fact that they have the information highway at their fingertips!


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## dijewe (Mar 1, 2011)

Dbl post removed


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## dijewe (Mar 1, 2011)

Gertrude Stein said:


> I share space at a craft "shack" with a friend who makes jewelry. My knitting is on one side, her jewelry is on the other. We get a lot of tourist through the booth. Yesterday, three women came into the space and started oooohing and aaaahhhing over the jewelry, saying that it was the nicest they have ever seen and how talented I must be! I shared that I was the knitter and did not make the jewelry. This is when one of the women replied, "Then you aren't that talented, are you?" Not one of the three women turned around to even look at me as they giggled in harmony at the ignorant comment.
> 
> I used some advice that I got from a fellow k'per when insults are thrown my way... I said "Well, bless your little heart!" It kept me from being rude back to them...gave me something to say other than a hurtful reply.
> 
> ...


Wow how rude! Your response was perfect. I would have laughed at them ( this is my reaction when I find myself in an unexpected situation) and said the words ' wow, how rude are you?'


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## dijewe (Mar 1, 2011)

Dbl post removed


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## deechilders (Sep 24, 2011)

Nice one!  
I am usually too shocked at the rudeness/ignorance to say anything, and just stand there wondering if the person really just did that. Later is when I think of a reply.
&#128549;


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## cindye6556 (Apr 6, 2011)

janis blondel said:


> I smiled sweetly at her and said aren't you a darling, she was mortified.


The Scottish equivalent to "Bless your little heart" perhaps?


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## dijewe (Mar 1, 2011)

I am sitting here thinking about every time someone told me 'bless your heart' and whether they used 'little' lol


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## janielha (Dec 20, 2012)

Incredibly rude and ignorant! At least you were able to say something to her. I'd probably still be sitting there with my mouth open!


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## dijewe (Mar 1, 2011)

cindye6556 said:


> The Scottish equivalent to "Bless your little heart" perhaps?


Yes I think you are right. My mom always used this in a sarcastic tone. ( I am originally from South Africa)


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## francesanna (Mar 12, 2014)

Stupidity abounds, does it not. You did the right thing by answering her the way you did. People can be so insensitive sometimes. I can remember when my grandson was 4 years old and not speaking yet, a co worker was constantly bragging about how wonderful her grandchild was speaking. It hurt like crazy, but I decided to be the better person and get over it.


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## meknit (Dec 5, 2012)

Good for you, The World needs more people like you.
Thanks for being so kind and respectfull in such a bad situation. I bet your knitting reflex's your personality so it must be some amazing stuff you make.
Keep it up.


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## ali'sfolly (Oct 27, 2012)

I can see from the number of comments how what happened to you really struck a lot of nerves! Hooray to you for handling the situation so well. If they had been southern, they might have recognized your ploy, but still been powerless to offer an objection.


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## 10Jean (Feb 20, 2011)

There is a saying in the South for mannered women, say "Bless your heart" which means to us something entirely different and I really can't print it here. But if you are
from the South you know.


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## Frosch (Feb 5, 2014)

It still amazes me how rude some people can be. But I did love your comeback. It showed class and restraint.


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## bizzyknitter (May 10, 2011)

This person must have been raised by wolves. I give you credit for having class, don't know if I could have been so nice. But I actually like what you said about kicking their butt out the door.


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## Rosalie Courtney (Jul 29, 2012)

I used to sell my knitwear at craft shows. I've had a lady throw one of my children's cap/mitts set back on my table and said it wasn't hand done if it was done on a machine and said I'd insulted her intelligence. 
WHO INSULTED WHO? There seem to lots of them out there. You have to take it with a grain of salt and realize how low some people can be.


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## elsie lacey (Dec 31, 2012)

You are so wise to be able to make such a veiled comment to downright stupidity!!!!


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## kerriwg (Oct 13, 2011)

Some people don't age gracefully from high school they just get older, more obnoxious, botox and plastic surgery that shrinks their brains even more.


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## Ermdog (Apr 24, 2014)

You are one classy lady. I would have just sat there looking stupid. It always takes my breath away when people so unthinkingly shoot their yaps off. I always wonder if they're just really dense, stupid or truly cruel.


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## Dcsmith77 (Apr 18, 2011)

Can't help but add my story to this one. At the time I was working for a science organization and it was our annual meeting. We were honored to be the first place to display rocks from the first trip to the moon. NASA set up this lovely display that was to have one rock enclosed on a podium with a spotlight on it. First day of registration, no rock had yet been installed, just the display, and I looked over to see crowd of imminent scientists staring in awe at the place where the spotlight would highlight the rock - when it was installed there. Common sense has nothing to do with IQ!

One other comment - remember the cork trees in "Ferdinand the Bull"?



knitster475 said:


> Hmmm. Seems she must be suffering from lead poisoning from all those canned beans? It's interfering with her ability to think.
> 
> I remember a show Jack Parr did many many years ago that featured a series of practical jokes. One was about the spaghetti harvest in Italy and showed all these peasant women harvesting long strands of spaghetti from trees. Another was of a large fishbowl with only water in it placed on a table outside a pet shop with a sign "Invisible fighting fish" and several people were crowded around trying to see the fish fighting".
> 
> Here's the link to the youtube video of the spaghetti harvest video produced by bbc. When it comes to humor the British are the world's absolute masters!


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## poplardebo (Apr 21, 2013)

Those type of comments catch you off guard, and it's good to be ready with a response that keeps you from stooping to their level.

She will be judged one day for her rude behavior, I sincerely believe.

I've worked with the public all my life, and it is unreal some of the remarks people make.

Anybody can be rude, but it takes a special person to be kind regardless of what others say.

Stupid is as stupid does, and I've found that you can't cure stupid.


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## soamaryllis (Jun 5, 2012)

Some people thrive trying to put others down. It's their problem. Please don't let it hurt you.


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## KateB (Sep 28, 2011)

Another retort that I read somewhere (would love to claim it as mine, but have to be honest :lol: ) was, "I hope you got a refund?" and when the reply, "Refund?" came....."Yes, from the Charm School!"


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## cainchar (Dec 14, 2012)

I am not as good a person as you are. I tend to use "Did you mean to be rude? Or, do you just not know any better?"


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## knitnanny (Feb 28, 2012)

Be glad that you are a kind enough person to realize how rude they were!! And be proud that you have such a wonderful talent!!


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## Hazel Blumberg - McKee (Sep 9, 2011)

What a bunch of IDJITS! I'm so very sorry this happened to you. These women are obviously totally ignorant about the needle arts. Good thing you brushed them off. Let them wonder what "Bless your little hearts!" means. ;-)

Hazel


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## nhauf001 (Jan 18, 2011)

You handled this well, and if you ever hear that phrase in Texas, it is code for "You're an idiot". I'm just sayin'


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## dgid (Feb 3, 2014)

I think I would have wanted to emphasize "LITTLE" heart. But, you were right on target with your reply. WWJD!


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## jbandsma (Mar 6, 2011)

Kathie said:


> Wow. You can tell I'm a northerner through and through. I had no idea that was an insult. I have heard unbelievable nasty remarks made about artwork displayed at the yearly juried art show in Green Bay. It's a large festival and people from all over the country send art to be judged just to have a spot in this show. The talent and offerings are wonderful and varied. Sure there lots of things I wouldn't put in my home but that doesn't mean they aren't wonderful. I'm always embarrassed when I hear those comments as the artist are usually manning their displays. They must develop pretty thick skins to be able to do this year after year. I'll have to remember that come back.


Want to make it worse? Add 'well' at the beginning and say it in the most saccharine voice you can manage.


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## doriso (Feb 22, 2014)

I personally believe that such rude, belligerent, thoroughly mean-spirited comments come from people who are very unhappy. So try to realize that the comment was a statement about the speaker, not about your work. Also, many people of all ages giggle when they are nervous, so the other women might have been uncomfortable with their companion, not laughing in agreement with her rude comment. Hang in there!


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## Hazel Blumberg - McKee (Sep 9, 2011)

10Jean said:


> There is a saying in the South for mannered women, say "Bless your heart" which means to us something entirely different and I really can't print it here. But if you are
> from the South you know.


LOL! I learned about this when I moved to the South. I'm now very careful about saying "Bless your heart" to anybody, unless, of course, I mean to say something nasty to them. 

Hazel


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## dgid (Feb 3, 2014)

cindye6556 said:


> Sorry to disagree with you, but there is always time to teach manners. When the person at grocery store lets you go ahead of them because you only have 5 items versus their buggy full, when someone holds the door for you. Those are learning opportunities when your child hears you say "thanks". Maybe I'm wrong, but JMHO.


 :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## knitgogi (Aug 25, 2013)

Gertrude Stein said:


> I share space at a craft "shack" with a friend who makes jewelry. My knitting is on one side, her jewelry is on the other. We get a lot of tourist through the booth. Yesterday, three women came into the space and started oooohing and aaaahhhing over the jewelry, saying that it was the nicest they have ever seen and how talented I must be! I shared that I was the knitter and did not make the jewelry. This is when one of the women replied, "Then you aren't that talented, are you?" Not one of the three women turned around to even look at me as they giggled in harmony at the ignorant comment.
> 
> I used some advice that I got from a fellow k'per when insults are thrown my way... I said "Well, bless your little heart!" It kept me from being rude back to them...gave me something to say other than a hurtful reply.
> 
> ...


Great for you!!! Thank you for sharing this wonderful advice from cindye6556! I need to put that in my memory bank and withdraw it if ever needed in the future for any ridiculous situation. So, "bless your little--make that big-- heart" for sharing-- seriously, in this case, with no tongue in cheek intended here.


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## Gabriell (Sep 13, 2011)

You showed real class,I would have been so shocked I would not have been able to reply.


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## LindaRodriguez (Jan 28, 2014)

Norma B. said:


> I expect many of you have heard the "anecdote" about the southern woman who's caught waiting for a plane with three other women. Each one brags about what her husband gave her for their tenth anniversary. A yacht, a mansion, a world cruise or some such. After each proclamation our southern lady commented "I'n that PRE-Shus!" They then turned her and asked what SHE got. She replied "Charm school lessons". They all smirked and asked what earthly good THAT was? And she drawled sweetly "Well I learned to say "I'n that PRE-Shus" instead of "Who gives a s---." :XD:


 :lol: :lol: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## LindaRodriguez (Jan 28, 2014)

janis blondel said:


> Your a very special person to handle this situation so well some people are just very ignorant. I am in a wheelchair and a few weeks ago I overheard a lady say to her husband, these people in wheelchairs should not be allowed in shops they take up too much room, I smiled sweetly at her and said aren't you a darling, she was mortified.


As she should have been. It always amazes me the way people will talk about someone in a wheelchair as if they're not even there, and then look surprised when they respond.


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## faigiezipper (Apr 25, 2011)

You gave the most perfect response. I have a friend from the south who told me that when you say "why bless your heart," people don't realize you have just insulted them. Good for you. What ignorant women.


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## conch72 (May 11, 2012)

When she said, "Then you aren't that talented, are you?", maybe you could have replied "Thank you, how sweet of you to notice." I bet that would have thrown her off balance.


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## Montana Gramma (Dec 19, 2012)

cindye6556 said:


> At least that long....It's the same here in CO. We've been here 8 yrs, and like you I figure after about 300 yrs will be considered "semi-native".


When we had been here in Montana for 23 years my neighbour at the time told me I was still a da-- tourist! Then invited me in for a beer with a silly grin on his face! Found out he was a warm caring person, just a teaser. He really was taken back tho' that I do not like beer!


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## SAMkewel (Mar 5, 2011)

disgo said:


> Having too many years in the business I doubt very much they were complimenting her work--quite the opposite I'm afraid like the one mentioning the woman picking up the shawl. I only took any attention to those that give compliments to me personally and privately and support it with their pocket book. Those women were using their "compliments" to make them feel more superior which is their right. Any reply back only confirms their feeling of power so as I was taught silence is the best response and make no nonverbal expressions--just like dealing with a child because that is what they are. Notice they were in a group just like all bullies that have power issues and are looking for a victim.


This is one line of thinking that I totally disagree with. It assumes that no one past the age of 12 is capable of learning and is a bit of a reverse feeling of superiority. My belief is that rudeness should always be brought to the attention of the person who dishes it out in some way or another; that gives the person the impetus to rethink and correct the behavior--or not--but I'm sure not going to put up with it wordlessly. I think enough of my fellow human beings to offer them the opportunity to realize they have some work to do on their behavior/manners. Some, of course, won't get it, but others will revisit their childhood habits and realize they are no longer appropriate.


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## knittingnanna19 (Nov 6, 2013)

Gosh ! So many tales of rudeness, thoughtlessness and insensitivity. 
Brought me up short - do I ever open my mouth before thinking about what I am about to say ? YES is the embarrassing answer. 
So thank you for your experiences as a reminder to me to be careful what I say and where I say it. I


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## Janicesei (Jan 8, 2014)

Think we need to take "craft" out of our vocabulary and add "art" instead. Many people view a craft with Popsicle sticks and glue. You would never say a painting was a craft. It takes just as much talent and a lot more work to create the amazing things posted here.

So, lift your art to a higher plane, and if customers don't appreciate it to bad for them. You know they do not know how to knit or crochet. They wouldn't put another artist down like that. 

Retail means to just ignore the comments, or say whatever you want, just not out loud. That person may step outside and loudly proclaim how horrible you are and chase all your customers away. Just say "thank you for coming." And think, thank you for going.


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## Donna429 (Jun 13, 2013)

jbandsma said:


> Well, I'm originally from PA, born and raised but have lived here (off and on) for the last 50 years. Another 300 and I'll almost be considered a native.


I think I would thoroughly enjoy myself down south. I am still laughing over this comment.


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## jbandsma (Mar 6, 2011)

Donna429 said:


> I think I would thoroughly enjoy myself down south. I am still laughing over this comment.


You might. I've been in and out of this area for the last 50 years, 40 of them solid. I'm just now beginning to understand the language. A telling comment about Charleston is that they are a lot like the Chinese...eat a lot of rice and worship their ancestors.


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## Donna429 (Jun 13, 2013)

jbandsma said:


> You might. I've been in and out of this area for the last 50 years, 40 of them solid. I'm just now beginning to understand the language. A telling comment about Charleston is that they are a lot like the Chinese...eat a lot of rice and worship their ancestors.


LOL. I am recently widowed and retired and have been looking on the net for a place to rent during the winter.
You have just convinced me that I definitely would be entertained. Bless you _ said with all sincerity! I haven't laughed this much in quite some time.


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## SAMkewel (Mar 5, 2011)

knitster475 said:


> As a teacher, I have taught in Title 1 schools (schools with high poverty rates and in schools where kids come from very affluent families. Manners or lack thereof do not correlate with affluence. In fact, some of the most rude arrogant kids are affluent, not kids in poverty. If the parents have manners, they teach that to their kids automatically. It doesn't take time. It is a life style that is passed on to children. Kids learn far more by observing what parents do and how they behave than from what parents merely tell them to do making that old phrase "do as I say, not as I do" is completely worthless.


This is interesting and probably generally valid. My parents, however, were rude and abusive people. My brother was a bully. I determined very early on that I wanted to be as different as possible from them. The damage they did worked to keep me mostly silent until the past 15 years; I'm now 75 and making up for lost time :~). My mother prided herself on being so rude that she routinely brought store clerks to tears even though she had once been one. My solution was to become a people watcher and a reader, because nothing at home made sense to me. This is why I tend to think that blaming the parents for behavior overlooks the power of any individual to learn better than what is "taught" at home.


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## OddBodkin (Nov 18, 2013)

cindye6556 said:


> At least that long....It's the same here in CO. We've been here 8 yrs, and like you I figure after about 300 yrs will be considered "semi-native".


I'm just up Ute Pass, Cindy, and I've been here for 34 years. I will always be a transplant. Sigh. But I'm certainly very happy here.


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## Toby's Mom (Dec 8, 2011)

I must, must confess I am no longer the type of person to be deferential; I was brought up very polite and to act as so many of you KPers have commented. HOWEVER, as I get older, I am no longer able to tolerate rude people and I put them in their place in a "polite" way. Sometimes they need to hear how awful they are. Perhaps it will go over their heads or not ring a bell but I will not stand there and feel frustrated by keeping my tongue in check. I think there is a difference depending how you come back at these people, you can be just as rude or let them know you are not receptive to lack of respect!
To wit, in your case I would have said something like:
"Excuse me... but that was a very rude and unnecessary comment to make" or "Your comment is uncalled for", etc.
In that case I do not believe I am getting down to their level, as much as making them AWARE of their rudeness.



Gertrude Stein said:


> I share space at a craft "shack" with a friend who makes jewelry. My knitting is on one side, her jewelry is on the other. We get a lot of tourist through the booth. Yesterday, three women came into the space and started oooohing and aaaahhhing over the jewelry, saying that it was the nicest they have ever seen and how talented I must be! I shared that I was the knitter and did not make the jewelry. This is when one of the women replied, "Then you aren't that talented, are you?" Not one of the three women turned around to even look at me as they giggled in harmony at the ignorant comment.
> I used some advice that I got from a fellow k'per when insults are thrown my way... I said "Well, bless your little heart!" It kept me from being rude back to them...gave me something to say other than a hurtful reply.
> 
> Thanks cindye6556 for this wonderful suggestion!
> ...


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## cainchar (Dec 14, 2012)

Gosh guys- Canadians could be insulting people everywhere as when we say those words- we tend to mean them literally. I'll certainly be more careful in the future. Thanks for sharing that!



Hazel Blumberg - McKee said:


> LOL! I learned about this when I moved to the South. I'm now very careful about saying "Bless your heart" to anybody, unless, of course, I mean to say something nasty to them.
> 
> Hazel


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## cindye6556 (Apr 6, 2011)

Please note there is a difference between "Bless your heart" and "Bless your little heart". The former is said with sincerity and the true meaning of those 3 words. While the latter is meant to be a sarcastic comeback, just a politer way of saying "Sc&@w You!"

Yes, us southerners worship our ancestors. Much like the ladies of the north at one time worked hard at proving their ancestors came over on the Mayflower to join the DAR, some work hard to prove theirs so they might join the UDC! As for me I'm just happy to be a member of GRITS! Girls raised in the South!


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## Donna429 (Jun 13, 2013)

Years ago a group of 20 year olds decided to go out one evening. I was quite taken aback when one of my friends said only 'if I wore a brown bag over my head'. She wasn't being nasty, she just meant that men wouldn't look at her if I was around. She meant it as a compliment which after a moment, I realized what she meant. My friend was absolutely mortified when she realized what she had said. We just laughed.
There was a salesman at work that had to have the newest of everything. He would always yell over to me and ask why didn't I trade in my old 2001 RAV. I had had enough at one point and asked him why it bothered him so much. He never asked again and I am still driving my 2001 that has never given me an ounce of trouble. Lots of bullies out there and I do my best to ignore them.


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## Toby's Mom (Dec 8, 2011)

SAMkewel said:


> This is one line of thinking that I totally disagree with. It assumes that no one past the age of 12 is capable of learning and is a bit of a reverse feeling of superiority. My belief is that rudeness should always be brought to the attention of the person who dishes it out in some way or another; that gives the person the impetus to rethink and correct the behavior--or not--but I'm sure not going to put up with it wordlessly. I think enough of my fellow human beings to offer them the opportunity to realize they have some work to do on their behavior/manners. Some, of course, won't get it, but others will revisit their childhood habits and realize they are no longer appropriate.


As you can see by my response, you are a person after my own heart!


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## cindye6556 (Apr 6, 2011)

OddBodkin said:


> I'm just up Ute Pass, Cindy, and I've been here for 34 years. I will always be a transplant. Sigh. But I'm certainly very happy here.


I know that we'll always be considered transplants, and that's fine. Just accept the fact that I'm here, and attempting to contribute as much as possible to making Colorado a great place to not only visit but to live as well.


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## Ask4j (May 21, 2011)

Welcome to the world of retail!! All of us should think about it the next time you enter a shop--what do you feel towards the person behind the counter... Many of us feel that retailers have no feelings and we can just say anything and it has gotten so much worse in the last few decades.

Being in sales, I'm "hardened" to such behavior because in business it's even worse, childish, yes. One co-worker a long time ago, in a part-time job, said in her Norwegian accent, "the meaner they get the sweeter I get". In other words you said the right thing because what they said doesn't affect your sweet charm (or your talent in this case).


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## FrannyGrace (Dec 25, 2011)

Years ago we moved to Georgia with the Army and to get to know my neighbor I asked her if she did any crafts. Her reply "Oh, no! I'm the intellectual type!" I didn't bother telling her my IQ was probably on par or higher than hers, I just laughed! We became friends and I even gave her some of my crafts!


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## Judyhoney (Jun 18, 2014)

Being a southern girl, I can tell you "bless your heart" covers a multitude of implications; such as "were you born in a barn". She was rude and you did an excellent job in your response and are most definitely "talented". :roll:


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## lorraine 55 (Aug 8, 2011)

Norma B. said:


> I expect many of you have heard the "anecdote" about the southern woman who's caught waiting for a plane with three other women. Each one brags about what her husband gave her for their tenth anniversary. A yacht, a mansion, a world cruise or some such. After each proclamation our southern lady commented "I'n that PRE-Shus!" They then turned her and asked what SHE got. She replied "Charm school lessons". They all smirked and asked what earthly good THAT was? And she drawled sweetly "Well I learned to say "I'n that PRE-Shus" instead of "Who gives a s---." :XD:


 :XD: :XD: :XD:


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## Shdy990 (Mar 10, 2011)

I would have said black heart.


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## Nina Weddle Tullis (Feb 13, 2011)

Someone told me once to not let some idiot rule your thoughts and actions. Ignore, whenever you can and you will be the better person. This really means to act nice regardless of what someone says or does to you. It is a tough job at times, especially when you work with the public.
I am proud of your actions and reactions too.
9a


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## Pup lover (May 17, 2012)

OMG some people really dont think before they stick their feet in their mouths do they? Love your response, will try to remember it for myself.


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## Kathi04 (Jun 16, 2014)

I agree you showed very good manners and hopefully the women got the message, that you are the better person for your manners than they are! I'll remember that answer for the next time someone is rude to me. You are a very nice person, I think!


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## SAMkewel (Mar 5, 2011)

Toby's Mom said:


> As you can see by my response, you are a person after my own heart!


Yes, I see :~D! It's nice to be not totally alone in the world, isn't it? I've never been one to perpetuate crappy behavior in others or myself, but I don't especially want to retaliate in kind, either. I keep hoping reason will triumph occasionally.


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## SAMkewel (Mar 5, 2011)

jbandsma said:


> Want to make it worse? Add 'well' at the beginning and say it in the most saccharine voice you can manage.


This reminds me of Dana Carvey as "Church Lady," with his/her, "Well, isn't THAT special!" I loved it!


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## Damama (Oct 2, 2011)

Smart lady, great reply!


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## raindancer (Aug 19, 2012)

They were waaay out of line!! I think you showed them who has the class! Well done!


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## Evie RM (Sep 19, 2012)

How can people be so rude? I think I would have asked why she thought that knitting did not take talent. It would have been interesting to hear her answer. It was really controlled of you not to make a comeback. I don't know if I could have been that controlled. Although, when a rude comment is made, it sometimes catches you so by surprise that you just can't think of anything to say. That happened to me once in a grocery store and the rude comment that was made to me caught me so by surprise that I just couldn't think of anything to say and I just walked away. Of course later I thought of a lot of different things I could have said. Good for you for keeping your cool.


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## knittinggina (Feb 10, 2013)

You know in some parts of the country when they say Bless your heart it is a little bit of sarcasm and showing the person might be a little slow witted. Hmmm guess the comment fit.


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## Martini dunne (Dec 13, 2013)

People amaze me the way they speak to people,I'm irish and I worked in a wool shop years ago and this woman and her daughter came in when she heard my accent she said I hate irish people my head nearly exploded with shock that someone could say that,my boss was with me and he was trying to calm me down because I could have kicked her ass stupid woman,then in the next breath she told me she worked for an irish man and she would kiss the ground he walked on, I said there's good and bad in every country,and I know a lot of Australians that are not very nice and a lot that are great people,what a crazy woman.


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## RosD (May 24, 2014)

janis blondel said:


> Your a very special person to handle this situation so well some people are just very ignorant. I am in a wheelchair and a few weeks ago I overheard a lady say to her husband, these people in wheelchairs should not be allowed in shops they take up too much room, I smiled sweetly at her and said aren't you a darling, she was mortified.


Well said. I love it 💞


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## RosD (May 24, 2014)

KateB said:


> Another retort that I read somewhere (would love to claim it as mine, but have to be honest :lol: ) was, "I hope you got a refund?" and when the reply, "Refund?" came....."Yes, from the Charm School!"


Love this💞


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## NanBasKnit (Oct 4, 2013)

Wow! Thanks so much for al the kind comments! I always feel unpleasant after a person says nasty things to me. Your kind words have helped tremendously to erase those bitter words. I'd like to take the credit for coming up with the "Well! Bless your little heart" retort, but I can't'. Cindye6556 shared this tidbit with me, and I have used it many times! 

I find it very interesting that women in groups of three can sometimes mean trouble. I have noticed it before, but never really thought that it was something that happens often. From now on, when three women walk into my booth, I will be prepared for any bitterness that might escape from their mouths. I have learned a lot on this thread! Many thanks, ladies!


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## MelissaC (May 27, 2012)

That's terrible! I probably would've said, "Excuse me? I must've heard you wrong. It sounded like you just said I'm not talented but I know that to be untrue because knitting takes a lot of patience and skill. And I can't believe you'd purposely say something so hurtful to me, so I must have misunderstood. But I agree that my friend makes beautiful jewelry."


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## Crochet dreamin' (Apr 22, 2013)

cindye6556 said:


> Don't know his age but bet he either grows up or grew up to think he's one of the "entitled ones".
> 
> "Common sense is not so common." Voltaire. My favorite quote I suppose because I always heard my mama say something along the lines of " you can have all the book learning in the world, but still be dumb as a box of rocks". It was true then, and I think even truer today. I have friends that are "book smart" and common sense dumb, and I wonder how they've managed to survive. One of them actually told me that green beans only came in a can. I asked her how she thought they got there, and took her out to garden and showed her this is where they start out. Told me they couldn't possibly be any good growing in the dirt like that.....I just cried.


Yes, and they know not that they know not. They walk among us. I know I would have ignored the comment, secretly seething. I think it would have been braver (for me) if I'd said something like, "Did you get smacked in the head too hard as a child, or are you just naturally stupid?" I know those opportunities have come up and I've passed them by thinking to myself, "You were given a teaching moment and you didn't take it!"


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## SAMkewel (Mar 5, 2011)

Gertrude Stein said:


> Wow! Thanks so much for al the kind comments! I always feel unpleasant after a person says nasty things to me. Your kind words have helped tremendously to erase those bitter words. I'd like to take the credit for coming up with the "Well! Bless your little heart" retort, but I can't'. Cindye6556 shared this tidbit with me, and I have used it many times!
> 
> I find it very interesting that women in groups of three can sometimes mean trouble. I have noticed it before, but never really thought that it was something that happens often. From now on, when three women walk into my booth, I will be prepared for any bitterness that might escape from their mouths. I have learned a lot on this thread! Many thanks, ladies!


They say that forewarned is forearmed. I've not had the nasty experience with three women recently, but then I go out of my way to avoid women in three's. That was a very common experience in grade school, they weren't women yet, but apparently they were practicing :~).


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## SAMkewel (Mar 5, 2011)

MelissaC said:


> That's terrible! I probably would've said, "Excuse me? I must've heard you wrong. It sounded like you just said I'm not talented but I know that to be untrue because knitting takes a lot of patience and skill. And I can't believe you'd purposely say something so hurtful to me, so I must have misunderstood. But I agree that my friend makes beautiful jewelry."


One could also say some thing like, "Why don't you sit right down here with yarn and needles and show me how talented you are?"

I have a SIL who has dissed my knitting for years. She finally admitted that she has tried to learn how to knit and/or crochet but can't. It made her angry when I tried to explain that neither of them are something that anyone sits down and learns to do well overnight. Now she is hinting for a knitted shawl. I think not, since I know how little she valued the last thing I made for her, and it IS the last thing I made for her.


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## lorraine 55 (Aug 8, 2011)

Martini dunne said:


> People amaze me the way they speak to people,I'm irish and I worked in a wool shop years ago and this woman and her daughter came in when she heard my accent she said I hate irish people my head nearly exploded with shock that someone could say that,my boss was with me and he was trying to calm me down because I could have kicked her ass stupid woman,then in the next breath she told me she worked for an irish man and she would kiss the ground he walked on, I said there's good and bad in every country,and I know a lot of Australians that are not very nice and a lot that are great people,what a crazy woman.


There are good and bad people in every nationality. Sadly, I'm noticing that there seems to be more mean spirited people. I may be wrong, but I think it's because times are hard and people are so stressed out. Still there is no need to be mean we all go through bad times. Thankfully we have our knitting and other pastimes to take our minds off our problems.


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## vjh1530 (Oct 8, 2011)

I think all these TV shows where people make snarky remarks to each other and then the laugh track goes off has created a rude culture. In real life those remarks are not funny, they are hurtful.

I remember watching MASH many years ago. That was the first show I remember where rudeness was considered comedy. I loved Hawkeye, but he was often mean to those he didn't like, and it was considered acceptable, even enviable, to be like him. I think it started a trend in the media that the smart aleck was the good guy. If you are the recipient of those remarks,though, you probably don't agree.


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## rujam (Aug 19, 2011)

How rude! I had a stall one time and had made shopping bags out of upholstery fabric, a woman turned to her friend and said quite seriously, "What on earth would you use those for?" I piped up "For shopping, knitting, library books etc." Needless to say she didn't buy one but I did sell quite a few. Some people are so insensitive.


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## PaKnitter (Mar 7, 2011)

vjh1530 said:


> I think all these TV shows where people make snarky remarks to each other and then the laugh track goes off has created a rude culture. In real life those remarks are not funny, they are hurtful.
> 
> I remember watching MASH many years ago. That was the first show I remember where rudeness was considered comedy. I loved Hawkeye, but he was often mean to those he didn't like, and it was considered acceptable, even enviable, to be like him. I think it started a trend in the media that the smart aleck was the good guy. If you are the recipient of those remarks,though, you probably don't agree.


I think it starts at the top...when our politicians can't even show respect for each other I don't think the average person stands a chance to escape rudeness from each other.

People are using freedom of speech to say anything they please to anyone at any time. What sad times we live in.


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## Evie RM (Sep 19, 2012)

It seems like more and more people do not think before they speak. I always taught my children, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." That doesn't seem to be the case with a lot of people anymore.


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## sherimorphis (Oct 11, 2011)

Gertrude Stein said:


> I share space at a craft "shack" with a friend who makes jewelry. My knitting is on one side, her jewelry is on the other. We get a lot of tourist through the booth. Yesterday, three women came into the space and started oooohing and aaaahhhing over the jewelry, saying that it was the nicest they have ever seen and how talented I must be! I shared that I was the knitter and did not make the jewelry. This is when one of the women replied, "Then you aren't that talented, are you?" Not one of the three women turned around to even look at me as they giggled in harmony at the ignorant comment.
> 
> You had the best answer!!!!!!!!!!!! I love it! I used to work at an answering service and we were taught if people were rude to simply say, "Have a great day!" I like yours better...I'm sure she walked away thinking....Sheri
> 
> ...


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## skkp (Feb 13, 2011)

Mean girls of all ages.....you know sometimes the way women treat each other just inexcusably sucks!


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## GemsByGranny (Dec 7, 2012)

Gertrude Stein said:


> I share space at a craft "shack" with a friend who makes jewelry. My knitting is on one side, her jewelry is on the other. We get a lot of tourist through the booth. Yesterday, three women came into the space and started oooohing and aaaahhhing over the jewelry, saying that it was the nicest they have ever seen and how talented I must be! I shared that I was the knitter and did not make the jewelry. This is when one of the women replied, "Then you aren't that talented, are you?" Not one of the three women turned around to even look at me as they giggled in harmony at the ignorant comment.
> 
> I used some advice that I got from a fellow k'per when insults are thrown my way... I said "Well, bless your little heart!" It kept me from being rude back to them...gave me something to say other than a hurtful reply.
> 
> ...


Good on you for being so restrained and polite. I might have found it difficult to be so. I must remember that retort. In other circumstances I sometimes use a phrase taught me by a friend -'And I love you too'. But not suitable in this context!

Well done, you.


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## doodlebugmlh (Sep 23, 2012)

People now days are so rude to others. It really is a shame.


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## FrannyGrace (Dec 25, 2011)

This is my comeback--at least it would be f i could think of it at the moment it's needed!


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## Linuxgirl (May 25, 2013)

FrannyGrace said:


> This is my comeback--at least it would be f i could think of it at the moment it's needed!


I like that. Got to print that out and put it into my knitting bag.


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## AMadknitter (Apr 21, 2013)

I always look at that type of situation with my philosophy on life. You can educate the uneducated but there is no cure for ignorance!!!


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## WindingRoad (May 7, 2013)

Gertrude Stein said:


> I share space at a craft "shack" with a friend who makes jewelry. My knitting is on one side, her jewelry is on the other. We get a lot of tourist through the booth. Yesterday, three women came into the space and started oooohing and aaaahhhing over the jewelry, saying that it was the nicest they have ever seen and how talented I must be! I shared that I was the knitter and did not make the jewelry. This is when one of the women replied, "Then you aren't that talented, are you?" Not one of the three women turned around to even look at me as they giggled in harmony at the ignorant comment.
> 
> I used some advice that I got from a fellow k'per when insults are thrown my way... I said "Well, bless your little heart!" It kept me from being rude back to them...gave me something to say other than a hurtful reply.
> 
> ...


Funny thing is Bless your Heart is rude in the South. It doesn't mean Bless your Heart at all.

http://www.city-data.com/forum/non-romantic-relationships/1917226-bless-your-heart-backhanded-insult-caring.html


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## Crochet dreamin' (Apr 22, 2013)

AMadknitter said:


> I always look at that type of situation with my philosophy on life. You can educate the uneducated but there is no cure for ignorance!!!


Well said. Pretty much my motto.


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## WindingRoad (May 7, 2013)

Crochet dreamin' said:


> Well said. Pretty much my motto.


Pretty much. Dumb can be fixed, stupid is forever. LOL


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## vjh1530 (Oct 8, 2011)

PaKnitter said:


> I think it starts at the top...when our politicians can't even show respect for each other I don't think the average person stands a chance to escape rudeness from each other.
> 
> People are using freedom of speech to say anything they please to anyone at any time. What sad times we live in.


 :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## Joanne Hyde (Jul 8, 2011)

Not only rude buy ignorant as well.


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## Irene P (Sep 20, 2013)

You should have said (with a smile), " I guess you don't know how to knit since you do not know the time and efforts that goes into it. I'd be happy to show you some." If this happens again, say this and sit down and knit in front of them.(Keep smiling!)


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## WindingRoad (May 7, 2013)

Gertrude Stein said:


> I share space at a craft "shack" with a friend who makes jewelry. My knitting is on one side, her jewelry is on the other. We get a lot of tourist through the booth. Yesterday, three women came into the space and started oooohing and aaaahhhing over the jewelry, saying that it was the nicest they have ever seen and how talented I must be! I shared that I was the knitter and did not make the jewelry. This is when one of the women replied, "Then you aren't that talented, are you?" Not one of the three women turned around to even look at me as they giggled in harmony at the ignorant comment.
> 
> I used some advice that I got from a fellow k'per when insults are thrown my way... I said "Well, bless your little heart!" It kept me from being rude back to them...gave me something to say other than a hurtful reply.
> 
> ...


The biggest insult to someone like that is to ignore them.


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## Bunbun (Feb 13, 2013)

there was an article in today's Concord paper written by a guest reporter regarding the Hobby Lobby ruling. Her first sentence was that she "had never been in a Hobby Lobby, so wasn't prejudiced and That IF she had time for a Hobby, it certainly wouldn't be crafting" now how insulting is that? she made 'crafting' seem like a dirty word.


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## Gerripho (Dec 7, 2013)

Bunbun said:


> there was an article in today's Concord paper written by a guest reporter regarding the Hobby Lobby ruling. Her first sentence was that she "had never been in a Hobby Lobby, so wasn't prejudiced and That IF she had time for a Hobby, it certainly wouldn't be crafting" now how insulting is that? she made 'crafting' seem like a dirty word.


It's called ELITISM. There's a lot of it going around now-a-days.


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## Evie RM (Sep 19, 2012)

Bunbun said:


> there was an article in today's Concord paper written by a guest reporter regarding the Hobby Lobby ruling. Her first sentence was that she "had never been in a Hobby Lobby, so wasn't prejudiced and That IF she had time for a Hobby, it certainly wouldn't be crafting" now how insulting is that? she made 'crafting' seem like a dirty word.


That would be her loss.


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## Irene P (Sep 20, 2013)

It's obvious they do not have any idea what is involved with knitting: the yarn selected, the time to design it, the swatch knitted of the yarn chosen, the editing of the design to improve/make changes in it, re-knitting the swatch, calculating the amount of stitches and rows knitted to complete the project, typing the directions of the pattern and printing it, doing the actual knitting and any seaming needed, the purchase of buttons or a zipper, the sewing on of buttons or zipper if needed, the blocking upon completion of the project. Yes, purchases, time and energy are needed!


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## Irene P (Sep 20, 2013)

You did handle this properly. Sometimes people make negative comments to make themselves feel more important than the person they are speaking to. (Notice I said Speaking To instead of Speaking With?) "Bless You" is a comment some people need - in more ways than one.


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## Irene P (Sep 20, 2013)

Evie RM said:


> How can people be so rude? I think I would have asked why she thought that knitting did not take talent. It would have been interesting to hear her answer. It was really controlled of you not to make a comeback. I don't know if I could have been that controlled. Although, when a rude comment is made, it sometimes catches you so by surprise that you just can't think of anything to say. That happened to me once in a grocery store and the rude comment that was made to me caught me so by surprise that I just couldn't think of anything to say and I just walked away. Of course later I thought of a lot of different things I could have said. Good for you for keeping your cool.


Sometimes, a look at the person making the comment and just walking away delivers a better message.


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## Irene P (Sep 20, 2013)

Evie RM said:


> It seems like more and more people do not think before they speak. I always taught my children, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." That doesn't seem to be the case with a lot of people anymore.


My parents taught me this also many years ago and I still believe in it. My children were also taught this. I found, sometimes, it also helps to count to ten before responding to a negative comment.


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