# Sympathy please



## janedu (May 22, 2011)

Busy knitting sox for my hubby for Father's Day. Mother in law: "How are your sox coming?" in front of hubby. I told him, "This is your Father's Day gift. Do you like it?" He turned his nose up and said, "the color". Must have seen my face drop so added, "Well, I guess they'd be ok with jeans in the winter." This is only the third pr. of sox I've made and the most complicated. I was crushed but tried not to show it. Will prob finish the sock and see if it fits me as he has small ft. AUGH!!!


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## drdi (Sep 16, 2011)

Sadly, people say things and then don't know how to take it back. Like squeezing toothpaste from a tube. Once it's out there, you can't put it back. I'm sure he will admire the socks and enjoy looking at them--even if he doesn't wear them. I've learned a lesson about my crafts. I only create for people who appreciate.


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## laurelarts (Jul 31, 2011)

I agree with drdi, he probably just didn't know what he was saying or how to say what he should be saying. I also agree with her about creating for those who appreciate it. Learned that the hard way as well. We, here, know the work that goes into it and we can appreciate that as well as feel your pain.


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## Wally-the-bear (Jan 17, 2012)

Keep the socks for yourself and gift him a pair of tube-socks from the Dollar store.


janedu said:


> Busy knitting sox for my hubby for Father's Day. Mother in law: "How are your sox coming?" in front of hubby. I told him, "This is your Father's Day gift. Do you like it?" He turned his nose up and said, "the color". Must have seen my face drop so added, "Well, I guess they'd be ok with jeans in the winter." This is only the third pr. of sox I've made and the most complicated. I was crushed but tried not to show it. Will prob finish the sock and see if it fits me as he has small ft. AUGH!!!


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## Eugenia Poulos (Feb 3, 2012)

If we only think a little before we open our mouths !!!!


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## silverseamer (Feb 12, 2012)

So sorry for your pain - that moment when the heart jumps leaves scars behind. Like Charlton Heston answered when questioned about his 50++ year Hollywood marriage: "divorce? never, murder? yes!"


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## mama879 (Jan 27, 2011)

He would most likely insert his foot if he opened it any further. I agree next time buy him something. But that does not always work My Dad when he moved had all of his fathers day gifts in a box in his closet. Now mind you he had 5 kids so when we moved him out of the house every one went through the box and found what we had given to him over the years. We all had a good laugh cause it went back into the 60's and 70's. Boy things have changed.


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## Wally-the-bear (Jan 17, 2012)

mama879 said:


> My Dad when he moved had all of his fathers day gifts in a box in his closet. when we moved him out of the house every one went through the box and found what we had given to him over the years. We all had a good laugh cause it went back into the 60's and 70's. Boy things have changed.


I'm glad you could laugh about the gifts being stored in a closet. It would infuriate me. I spend time, money and effort making a gift.I wouldn't like it stored in a closet. That's why my husband will not ever receive another handmade gift.


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## janedu (May 22, 2011)

Thanks, Ladies. You made me laugh which is what I needed.


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## Ranji (Dec 5, 2011)

Awww! Everyone who said to keep the socks for yourself is right! My hubby has this habit of not liking anything he is given for the first couple of days, then once he has used it, there is no getting him to put that item away!!!! But, I know how you feel. Loads of Love and Light.


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## yourmother306 (Nov 30, 2011)

drdi said:


> Sadly, people say things and then don't know how to take it back. Like squeezing toothpaste from a tube. Once it's out there, you can't put it back. I'm sure he will admire the socks and enjoy looking at them--even if he doesn't wear them. I've learned a lesson about my crafts. I only create for people who appreciate.


I used to knit for my nephews, but got "that's it?". They want video games. So, now I knit for charity. Eventhough I don't know who gets it, I am almost sure they appreciate it.


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## JusNeedles (Nov 20, 2011)

mama879 said:


> He would most likely insert his foot if he opened it any further. I agree next time buy him something. But that does not always work My Dad when he moved had all of his fathers day gifts in a box in his closet. Now mind you he had 5 kids so when we moved him out of the house every one went through the box and found what we had given to him over the years. We all had a good laugh cause it went back into the 60's and 70's. Boy things have changed.


YEARS back after I taught myself to crochet (badly as it was); I crocheted my grandmother several afghans because she always seemed SO thrilled to get them. After she died we found a gosh awful red/white/blue afghan and then a harvest gold........the workmanship was SO bad; BUT, she treasured those gifts and her excuse for not putting them out was she wanted to "keep" them for a special occasion. JUST as she kept all the nice nightgowns, etc, that we had given her.

As far as Hubby/Sox go; finish the sox, give them to him but let that he THE last hand made gift he gets from you; I agree with another entry, buy him tube socks from the $ store !


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## tryalot (Apr 29, 2012)

Wally-the-bear said:


> Keep the socks for yourself and gift him a pair of tube-socks from the Dollar store.
> 
> 
> janedu said:
> ...


This has to be the WINNER

:thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## Jessica-Jean (Mar 14, 2011)

Been there. I feel your pain. In my case, my husband is the smaller of us, so the sweater I made for him could never fit me. 
He asked for it. He selected the yarn, sweater pattern, stitch pattern. He submitted to trying it on as it progressed.
When I handed the completely finished sweater to him, he put it on, and took it off immediately. Then he handed it to me saying I should take it apart and make it just a tad larger!
Luckily, my youngest sister is the exact size to fill his sweater. That was early in our marriage - 40 years ago. He has never ceased wishing for a sweater from my needles. Hell will probably freeze over before _that_ happens!

I wonder if that rejection of my hard work is why I have made so _few_ sweaters in my adventures in knitting?

I know that aversion of darning is why I don't knit sox; I did do two almost-toddler sized pairs, just to prove to myself that I could. They'll never be used enough to have need of darning!

Some folks - even those we expect should _know_ better - seem to be amazingly able to say/do _exactly_ the wrong thing.

I can't say to forgive him, since I've never quite forgiven mine his transgression. Assuming you love him, just enjoy the sox and let him go barefoot!


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## charliesaunt (Apr 22, 2011)

I can say before I begin anything for my husband, I show him the color to be sure the hours of work will be worn. I remember knitting a beautiful flecked yarn when we were first married and one day I saw my husband "picking" at the sweater. I asked, "what's wrong"...and he said, "there's these pieces stuck to the wool".....now it's solid colors and a basic raglan sleeved crew neck sweater.

Sorry your husband spoke so quickly....wear the socks and enjoy them yourself.


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## Joyp (Feb 4, 2012)

It's awful when someone says something hurtful and then can't take it back. I'm sure he didn't mean it! Mine loves brightly colour socks. So brightly coloured that he is known at work as the guy with the lairy socks. Not exactly dress code but he won't wear the tie either! I am having to knit him some because it is almost impossible to buy lairy enough socks in size 12 for him!


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## sarah66 (Sep 26, 2011)

Joyp said:


> It's awful when someone says something hurtful and then can't take it back. I'm sure he didn't mean it! Mine loves brightly colour socks. So brightly coloured that he is known at work as the guy with the lairy socks. Not exactly dress code but he won't wear the tie either! I am having to knit him some because it is almost impossible to buy lairy enough socks in size 12 for him!


I too have a partner with large size 13 feet, and have taken to showing him the yarn just as I've started knitting with it. That way he can see if he likes the colour/feel, and I know I haven't gone too far to be able to turn them into a pair for me if he doesn't like them- not that he would say so, but I can tell!! :wink:


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## kiwiannie (Jul 30, 2011)

If my husband did that to me,he wouldnever get another homemade or any other gift again.You have my sympathy because iv'e been there done that,your mother in law seems to be aloose lip as well.Never again would she have my confidence.


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## CollettePlaquet (Feb 22, 2012)

I go into the giving of anything with the idea that it pleases me. I give it thought, yes, but I cannot control how someone will accept or treat my gift. I put love and energy into making something, I do not have energy to entertain resentment when someone does not see the gift as I do. If I see it goes over like a lead balloon...I just don't do that again. Do what pleases you and enjoy your accomplishments.


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## Marm (Apr 27, 2012)

I remember someone asking me to knit a sweater for them...the would pay for the yarn...when I told them what the yarn would cost they changed their mine...and this was in the 50's when yarn was cheap. Don't knit for someone who does't appreciate it.


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## Marylou12 (Dec 11, 2011)

My DH would say it's "very nice" leave it out for a few days, rave about it to the kids about what I made for him, and then ball it up and put it away never to be seen by human eyes again. He would Never,Ever wear it. 
I would never make him anything. It's always store bought!
You have my sympathies! :-(


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## ssk1953 (Jan 29, 2012)

Wally-the-bear said:


> Keep the socks for yourself and gift him a pair of tube-socks from the Dollar store.
> 
> 
> janedu said:
> ...


I'd do like Wally-the-Bear said, keep the beautiful socks yourself and just pick up a pack of crew socks at Walmart or Dollar Store.


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## peachy51 (Feb 9, 2012)

Men! Can't live with 'em and can't shoot 'em :mrgreen:


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## grandmatimestwo (Mar 30, 2011)

I'm sorry your feelings were hurt. Sometimes people speak before they think.


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## woodart (Jul 1, 2011)

Soon after I married, my mother (in NZ) sent me a beautiful pattern with his/her matching aran pattern sweaters. She then sent over enough wool for me to knit both sweaters.
No problem with my darling husband's approval about having a hand knitted sweater from his bride - until I knitted the matching one for myself and one day when we were getting ready to attend a BBQ and I walked into the living room wearing MY sweater and he had on HIS he didn't say anything, walked up to the bedroom and took the sweater off.
When I asked why he changed sweaters he said he 'wasn't about to be seen out with me wearing a matching sweater because that would tell the world that 'he belonged to me'!!!!!! Come on!!! I sweated blood over that sweater - the pattern was the most complex I've ever knitted and to think I made a repeat of it for myself! 
He went on to wear the sweater on many an occasion but I kept to only wearing mine when I was going out with 'the girls' or to events he wasn't attending.
He was 37 when we married and I was 26 so he was 'pretty well set in his ways' - Apart from that early difference of opinion - we had a great 30 years until he passed away.
(and he quickly learned not to criticise!
Cheers
Ainslie


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## Knitter forever (Dec 11, 2011)

I agree with Wally-the-bear.,and then only make for who appreciates yor work, make him see what your making and tell him it's not for him, but who it is for.


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## kathleenTC (Mar 14, 2011)

I also knit socks for my husband and he tried to wear them but said they make his feet itch. I was disappointed but what could I say? Luckily I can wear them. I also knit him a sweater which he wears very seldom. My sons, on the other hand, love their home made socks. They don't know anyone else that has home made socks, so they feel really special!!!


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## SaxonLady (Jun 9, 2011)

I only once knitted something unwanted. My brothers and I were out to dinner and the subject of cheap but useful presents came up. I jokingly remarked that presents should be special and said to my yioungest brother 'now the bowtie I'm knitting you for Christmas'. The laughter went on for some time, and, of course, I had to find a pattern and knit a d...d bowtie. He love it, but I HOPE he'll never wear it, but keep it forever.


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## Lea (Feb 23, 2011)

Some people just leave their tact at the door, I guess. I have never knit anything for my husband and I never will. I can always pretty much guarantee that he will end up taking back any gift I choose for him.


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## logicfrog1 (Mar 6, 2012)

i feel your pain its terrible to make something for someone you love a get a response like that. i adree with the others who said keep them and gift him dollar store socks or better yet a roll of duct tape


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## Hendrika (Jan 23, 2011)

I think he needs those socks to choke on when he inserts the other foot. My sympathies. Been there, done that. Not doing it anymore. I now only knit things that I like to do.


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## Suzinky (Jan 31, 2011)

Wally-the-bear said:


> Keep the socks for yourself and gift him a pair of tube-socks from the Dollar store.
> 
> Exactly!


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## Jeanne618 (Apr 1, 2012)

Oh dear, I'm with the group that will ask what color, etc....and then if you don't like them....hummm never again!!! I would finish and then just wear them without another word...


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## vpatt (Dec 24, 2011)

Oh, yes, I made my hubbie a sweater way back when we were first married. I don't remember him ever wearing it and I've never made another one for him. I made him hunting socks and he did wear holes in them. But some people just don't understand the value.....I think it's because we have so many things available to us these days.

I would let him admire the socks with jeans next winter.....while they are on YOUR feet, lol.

I am surprised at the number of people these days who covet a pair of hand knit socks. They have become quite popular with many.


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## jersgran (Mar 19, 2012)

When we were married about 10 years, my husband, in a fit of temper, cut up a ski sweater I had knitted before we were married. The marriage continued for 56 reasonably happy years . I lost him last fall, but he never got another thing from my knitting needles, crochet hook, or sewing machine.


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## yvone (May 11, 2012)

i had a new knit machine years ago.MY THEN BOYFRIEND [NOW HUBBY/asked for army socks as he was a call up.they finished up about a foot in length from toe to heel.HE WAS TO AFRAID TO SAY ANYTHING.NEVER WORE THEM


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## crazy-dutch-lady (May 26, 2012)

Duct tape for mother in law,,,insist the hubby wear the socks and make sure you loaded them with itching powder and get yourself a glass of wine !!! I work children consignment sales twice a year and am always surprised to see all the handmade brand new items for sale. I'm always very careful who I knit and crochet for,,,,cause some people call it homemade,,,,not handmade!!!


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## Marianne818 (Jan 2, 2012)

When I first started knitting again, I was excited learning all the new stitches and the fact that I could do things I never expected to be able to do. I made a few scarfs, admitted the first couple were not the prettiest by far, but I was still proud. My Mom loved the colors and complimented on my work. Then as she was going back down the hallway with her therapist, I heard her say that one has to be supportive with people that do craftworks, but I personally will never wear anything homemade. Well the scarf that I was making for her went to a friend, (who loved it and wore it often). One day I was sitting knitting on an Alexandria shawl, Mom was just thrilled at how pretty it was and kept saying I hope that is for me. I reminded her about what she said about homemade items.. she was shocked that I heard her... then she explained that once her foster mother had made a sweater for her, she wore it to school and everyone teased her (evidently it was a first project and not that pretty). Mom didn't realize how pretty and light and flowing that homemade items can be. When I finally finished the shawl, I wrapped it around Mom's shoulders and she had tears in her eyes, she knew how I had suffered with this shawl, told me to keep it as it was so beautiful. Mom wears the shawl now every time she goes out and if anyone comments on it she smiles and tells them that her daughter made it just for her :lol:


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## Miminancy (May 18, 2012)

Chalk it up to experience...the more you knit, the more you learn! But, I do agree, size them for yourself and get him the Dollar Store tube socks!!


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## Viking-knits (May 16, 2012)

Sometimes peoples mouth work faster then the brain. I can understand how you must feel. 

I guess I must be a lucky one cause my hubby love hand knitted socks, says...you don't get that kind of warm socks in any store.


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## vpatt (Dec 24, 2011)

jersgran said:


> When we were married about 10 years, my husband, in a fit of temper, cut up a ski sweater I had knitted before we were married. The marriage continued for 56 reasonably happy years . I lost him last fall, but he never got another thing from my knitting needles, crochet hook, or sewing machine.


You definitely earned a jewel in your crown, lol.


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## njbk55 (Apr 29, 2011)

i feel your pain


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## vpatt (Dec 24, 2011)

Marm said:


> I remember someone asking me to knit a sweater for them...the would pay for the yarn...when I told them what the yarn would cost they changed their mine...and this was in the 50's when yarn was cheap. Don't knit for someone who does't appreciate it.


I remember someone asking me how much yarn for me to knit them a sweater would cost. When I told them they said, "I could get a sweater at KMart for that!" I said, "yes you can". End of conversation, lol. And obviously this was before Walmart.


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## DonnieK (Nov 23, 2011)

#1 Never tell your Mother-in-law anything you don't want anyone to know
#2 I'll be there to help you hide the body when you need me
#3 Never make anything for him again because he won't need it when we hide the body!

I know how you feel. I spent weeks make a crocheted sweater for my Mother. I thought I had done a wonderful job, no mistakes that could been seen, pretty proud of my accomplishment. When she died, we were cleaning out her closet and there was the sweater with the card still attached. She never wore it, I don't guess except one time and that was the day I gave it to her. It fit perfect, the sleeves were the right length, the sweater looked lovely on her--she just never wore it. I will always wonder why.

Remember, others do not realize how hurtful they can be to a crafter, and they don't understand that sometimes a little mouth closure would be appreciated. All it takes is one incident to foul things up for a crafter.

Bet those socks will be wonderfully warm this winter for you. Father's Day, when he asks for his gifts, just say, I had one for you and you rejected it. I am wearing the socks meant for you and then show him your feet!


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## kcm1223 (Apr 2, 2011)

CollettePlaquet said:


> I go into the giving of anything with the idea that it pleases me. I give it thought, yes, but I cannot control how someone will accept or treat my gift. I put love and energy into making something, I do not have energy to entertain resentment when someone does not see the gift as I do. If I see it goes over like a lead balloon...I just don't do that again. Do what pleases you and enjoy your accomplishments.


 :thumbup: I worked so hard to make socks for my dad and husband for Christmas one year. Spent time carefully choosing the yarn, the pattern, stayed up late many nights do do these complicated patterns...you guys know the drill. They both wore them Christmas morning and not one day since (4 years ago). Very disappointing.
And yet, I completely agree with Collette. When we make or give anything, we do it out of love. The fact that it is not appreciated does not need to diminish the love from which you made it. It's so hard to let go of being attached to outcomes, but I find that when I am able to, it's a more peaceful landscape in my heart.


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## asyinger (Apr 20, 2012)

Well, I can sympathize also, I've learned my husband would much rather have something from the kitchen than from the craft room. Which is not such a problem, as it doesn't take nearly as long to prepare a big dinner as it does to knit a pair of socks (even if the socks are a lot more fun to work on).


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## vpatt (Dec 24, 2011)

DonnieK said:


> #1 Never tell your Mother-in-law anything you don't want anyone to know
> #2 I'll be there to help you hide the body when you need me
> #3 Never make anything for him again because he won't need it when we hide the body!
> 
> ...


I think so many people just put things away for special occasions and that is sad. I do it too, sometimes. But at 61 I am doing better. Lol, I realize that 1) we can make our own special occasions and 2) there may not be that many special times left, lol


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## vpatt (Dec 24, 2011)

I should have said that every day is a special occasion!


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## vermontmary (Jan 29, 2011)

I have a husband like Ranji's-- he doesn't wear anything new until he's used to it-- even things he's bought himself! 
I always show him color, style etc. when I start a project for him, because it is for HIM, after all! My sons don't wear things they don't like either... Why should they? I would never punish anyone for not liking my gifts-- it's a gift! 

I think it makes sense to ask if he would like you to try to make him another pair of socks or whatever, giving him a chance to participate in what he's going to wear! He might be pleased that you're considering his taste instead of trying to make him accept yours!


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## SaxonLady (Jun 9, 2011)

vpatt said:


> DonnieK said:
> 
> 
> > #1 Never tell your Mother-in-law anything you don't want anyone to know
> ...


I do that too, and it is so silly. TODAY is a special day, especially if we have something nice to wear/use.


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## Lori Putz (Jul 13, 2011)

While my three men (2sons and hubby)know they will get socks at some point during the year, probably Christmas, I do ask their input at some point in the summer or fall when I do the yarn stash build up. One son like certain darker warm tones, the older son loves oranges, blues, and other loud colors. Hubby just wants warm for jeans and such. In earlier years, the oldest went with me to stores to feel the yarns so he knew if he wanted it on his foot.


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## dolores angleton (Mar 21, 2011)

You have my complete sympathy. I knit a cardigan for hubby's anniversary this year. He also did not like it. Prefers the 20 year old one. So I cut the EXPENSIVE wooden buttons off it and gave it to Good will. Will be a COLD day in you know where before he gets another one.


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## silvercharms (Mar 29, 2011)

Knitted a nice hat and scarf set for DH and he was enthusiastic about it - nice warm brioche in multi-blues. Then we had a row and he said when was he going to see anything for all the fuss I made about knitting!!

Idiot. I made him buy them, and he'll not get another thing unless he pays full price. It's the only way he'll ever get anything knitted from me again!


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## Rainebo (Apr 22, 2012)

I'm so very sorry for your pain and understand your feelings totally. I agree that your mother-in-law should not be confided in. As far as your husband goes, I suggest you have a conversation with him about how he made you feel. He may/may not realize how he hurt you. Communication and clearing the air would be best. After 40 years of marriage, it always works best for me. You've got the choice of either allowing it to fester within you causing it to affect the relationship or releasing yourself from your anger. Choosing to let it go will make YOU feel better...And then go make something wonderful for yourself!


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## ellenC (Jun 17, 2012)

oh dear, what a clanger.
I'd be keeping them for myself, wear them on fathers day and tell him this is the present you were going to get but since you didn't like them....Men...grrrr


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## njliz (Jun 18, 2012)

Husbands are notoriously bad at receiving gifts. It seems the worse they are at giving, the worse they are at receiving! Men really only want 2 things, and one of them is a great meal! I fulfilled my hubby's request for paella yesterday, which we both enjoyed. No presents; just paella.


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## Sewvirgo (Jul 27, 2011)

I am so sorry. We all have been there too and feel your pain. So much so that when I find a beautiful hand knit sweater at a thrift shop I get teary about it just thinking about the knitter and how her gift was thrown away.


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## tamarque (Jan 21, 2011)

I made a couple of thing for my daughter who acts like it is the worse thing that I don't knit/crochet for her non-stop. I began a vest for her years ago and she was so disinterested that i dropped it. Then about 3 yrs ago I went with her to Lionbrand and spent 2 hours with her looking at patterns and yarn and letting her chose both. It was something way beyond my experience at the time but I took on the challenge. I also needed to completely redo the pattern for the yarn weight she chose and I did it, learning a lot along the way. Because of the challenge I would say it was almost 2 mos of my time. She trashed me and it and dropped the project like a hot potato. Later on she picked up something I made and dropped with a typical 6-8 yr old Yuk! exploding from her. Now if I ever did that to one of her photos I would never hear the end of it. The other day, after not talking to me for 9 months she tells me that she would be pissed if I made a bedspread for someone else as she has been waiting for years for me to make her one. The total hubris of it all! She being a professional narcissist, I said nothing aloud but in my mind said over my dead body.

I know exactly how jessica-jean feels. Your MIL needs to have sock stuffed in her mouth and your husband deserves ant $1 dollar store sock! Maybe he will get the message.


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## jbandsma (Mar 6, 2011)

janedu said:


> Busy knitting sox for my hubby for Father's Day. Mother in law: "How are your sox coming?" in front of hubby. I told him, "This is your Father's Day gift. Do you like it?" He turned his nose up and said, "the color". Must have seen my face drop so added, "Well, I guess they'd be ok with jeans in the winter." This is only the third pr. of sox I've made and the most complicated. I was crushed but tried not to show it. Will prob finish the sock and see if it fits me as he has small ft. AUGH!!!


Men...can't live with them, can't sell them for parts.


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## Catma4 (May 5, 2012)

Wally-the-Bear... hysterical! I had a great belly laugh this morning. Thank you! 

I too have learned the hard way by crafting handmade gifts that I thought the receiver would love - not so! 

Now I ask the person (sisters, nieces, daughter) if they would like a sweater, socks, etc. and if so, give them a choice of several patterns (or give them a pattern book and let them look through it) and have them tell me their favorite color. Then I get to work. This has worked very well - no disappointments on either end!


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## Grandma11 (Jan 21, 2012)

Agree


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## auntiepurl (Jun 13, 2012)

drdi said:


> Sadly, people say things and then don't know how to take it back. Like squeezing toothpaste from a tube. Once it's out there, you can't put it back. I'm sure he will admire the socks and enjoy looking at them--even if he doesn't wear them. I've learned a lesson about my crafts. I only create for people who appreciate.


I like your motto about only creating for people who appreciate. I've adopted the same attitude. Now I actually have time to knit things for myself and the things I knit for others are dearly loved.


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## dwilhelm (Dec 29, 2011)

I have to say two things, but not knowing your family do not know if they are true. 1. Some men cannot compliment on anything - my husband cannot. He always says something less than nice about everything. I have to look for other ways to see if he likes something. Perhaps this is a male thing. 2. Some men feel that they cannot say something nice about their wife in front of their own mother - perhaps they think if will make the mother feel inferior, who knows, but maybe another male thing. Give him the socks in private, see his reaction and use of them before making the final judgement. 

I agree with another entry, don't tell mol what you are doing ahead of time.


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## hgayle (Aug 22, 2011)

When my husband and I were first married, for weeks, I spent my lunch hour working on a needlepoint picture of mallard ducks for my husband's Christmas gift. Then I had it professionally framed. Don't know who was disappointed the most - me at his reaction to the gift (kind of like, "that's it?"), or his disappointment. It was several years before I even thought about making him anything. When I did, it was a sleeveless vest with a knit in argyle strip up the front. He really like that and wore it till I finally decided it was time to lay it to rest. And not to mention it was getting a little small. 
: )


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## Steeleye (Feb 26, 2012)

I stopped making anything for my husband years ago when he turned his nose up at the sweater I knitted for him. It's worked out well - I concentrate on others who appreciate and we've been married 48 years!


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## MaryTre (Mar 25, 2011)

The first pair of socks I knitted for my OH was a self-striping orange...didn't think he'd wear them but he has! In fact I've had to mend them several times! Now he even tells me when he'd like a new pair and always says 'you pick the color, anything's ok...no one will see them in my shoes'. I'm on the 4th pair and there's a pair to be mended in my knitting bag. And since he has a perfect foot (12") and is 6'3" it takes awhile to knit a pair. I enjoy knitting the socks for a couple of reasons--the yarn is pretty awesome and he appreciates that I'm taking the time to do it!


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## mollyannhad (Feb 1, 2011)

I know how hard it must be. My husband won't wear anything I could make him. so I don't bother.


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## NanGreen (Aug 8, 2011)

ssk1953 said:


> Wally-the-bear said:
> 
> 
> > Keep the socks for yourself and gift him a pair of tube-socks from the Dollar store.
> ...


I agree with you both except I would finish the socks for yourself. I wouldn't be able to resist comments about how warm and comfortable these "hand made" socks are.


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## Neeterbug (May 25, 2011)

I'm knitting a pair of socks for my sweet husband. He picked the yarn and the color...something I wouldn't have picked in a million years. Just about finished the first one and he loves the sock. Oh well, we are all different!!!! Thank goodness!!!!


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## knitknack (Oct 30, 2011)

Janedu, The important thing is that you were creating something out of love. I would definitely keep them for myself and like stated below, "Buy him a pair in the $ store, and if he should ask in the future where are the socks you were making me for Father's Day, I owuld tell him they are in my drawer and I love them and wear them. Perhaps that will be enough for him to have his car in gear before starting the motor.


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## vpatt (Dec 24, 2011)

I had a friend who told me (years ago)not to knit her anything as she didn't see the difference in hand knit and store bought. I always appreciated her saying this as she was actually being kind because she knew the work going into knitting a garment. And it was said in kindness not hatefully.


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## Sharync-d (Oct 11, 2011)

One of my first knitting projects was a cardigan for my husband. He has never had it on his body. So a few years later I knit him a vest which has also never been worn. He likes the cheap ones I bought him at Walmart and wears those constantly. Needless to say I will never knit him another thing. There are so many charity groups I knit for I don't miss knitting for him. I know they appreciate it.


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## Rusty's Mom (Sep 25, 2011)

Why didn't you ask him the color he would like first before you started knitting the socks? I understand where he is coming from. I don't wear things I don't like either. You should have let him pick the color and the kind of yarn the socks were going to be made from. If I decide to knit something for somebody, I always ask them what color they would like.


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## Ronie (Jan 21, 2011)

I would love the idea that he kept it.... and didn't toss it to the curb for the trash man to pick up on trash day..
I remember my mom buying me a Christmas gift that wasn't exactly my style and I didn't wear it a lot but I was happy that she thought of me and got me a gift when I knew times were real rough for her..


Wally-the-bear said:


> mama879 said:
> 
> 
> > My Dad when he moved had all of his fathers day gifts in a box in his closet. when we moved him out of the house every one went through the box and found what we had given to him over the years. We all had a good laugh cause it went back into the 60's and 70's. Boy things have changed.
> ...


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## La la patti (Apr 3, 2011)

That's sad. I made my dad socks for fathers day. He knew about them because I had to measure a foot. He loved them .However... I never make anything for my husband..how sad for him. He just won't wear any thing that I've ever made him. Just can't understand that handmade is special,so I gave up a long time ago. Oh well, his loss :-(


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## La la patti (Apr 3, 2011)

A hand made gift is a gift of love


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## Loleen (Jun 14, 2012)

I'm so sorry--we all know that feeling, I'm sure. When you pour your heart and soul into gift that is not appreciated, it hurts. We, as knitters, applaud the love you knitted into your socks--wear them with pride. :-D


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## Anna3703 (Mar 4, 2012)

A few years ago I bought my step GS a beautiful sweater as one of his Christmas gifts. When he opened the box (he was expecting some electronic gadget) I saw his face fall and he said: Oh, you shouldn't have, you really shouldn't have. We all had a good laugh about that.


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## moreighn (Apr 17, 2011)

My DH always seems to put a little rider on his thanks this being"""very nice but'''''''


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## jberg (Mar 23, 2011)

Good morning! Interesting replies to your post. I, too, only knit for charity and a very few special people who will appreciate what they get. When I first made socks a few years back, I asked my husband if he'd like a pair. "Well, I guess I would wear them" said to me...Don't bother!! And I didn't. My daughters have gotten socks they have worn holes through from wear. I don't even knit much for the 1 year new first and only grandbaby. Enjoy YOUR socks and, yep, dollar store tube socks for him! Thanks for sharing what we've all experienced. And Happy Needling. jb


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## MaggieNow (May 11, 2011)

Jessica-Jean said:


> Been there. I feel your pain. In my case, my husband is the smaller of us, so the sweater I made for him could never fit me.
> He asked for it. He selected the yarn, sweater pattern, stitch pattern. He submitted to trying it on as it progressed.
> When I handed the completely finished sweater to him, he put it on, and took it off immediately. Then he handed it to me saying I should take it apart and make it just a tad larger!
> Luckily, my youngest sister is the exact size to fill his sweater. That was early in our marriage - 40 years ago. He has never ceased wishing for a sweater from my needles. Hell will probably freeze over before _that_ happens!
> ...


Thats one grudge I might have carried to the grave. Fifteen years after our 21-year marriage ended my ex-husband came to my daughters for Thanksgiving dinner and he was wearing a sweater that I had knitted for him many years before. He hadnt been the perfect husband, but one of his redeeming features is that he always complimented me on my craft projects and appreciated whatever I knitted for him.

Maggie


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## London Girl (Dec 18, 2011)

Jessica-Jean said:


> Been there. I feel your pain. In my case, my husband is the smaller of us, so the sweater I made for him could never fit me.
> He asked for it. He selected the yarn, sweater pattern, stitch pattern. He submitted to trying it on as it progressed.
> When I handed the completely finished sweater to him, he put it on, and took it off immediately. Then he handed it to me saying I should take it apart and make it just a tad larger!
> Luckily, my youngest sister is the exact size to fill his sweater. That was early in our marriage - 40 years ago. He has never ceased wishing for a sweater from my needles. Hell will probably freeze over before _that_ happens!
> ...


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## London Girl (Dec 18, 2011)

Before we were married, over 44 years ago, I knitted DH a royal blue cabled slipover. I was quite new to knitting and it was HARD!! When I visited him in the house we were buying, I saw he had been wearing it to paint the ceiling!! Need I say more??!


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## vickest (Dec 28, 2011)

Nearly everyone here has had an experience like yours. The problem is that the pleasure of giving a handmade item is twofold: the pleasure of creating the item with anticipation of pleasing the recipient, and the appreciation of the recipient. One who doesn't create only sees a pair of socks in a color they wouldn't have chosen (and wonderful colors are so much more pleasant to knit than charcoal gray.) They also don't understand your feelings in making something special for them. They probably will never understand this. I have found my most appreciative recipients are my crafting friends who never receive a handmade gift. I spent six weeks of my time (plus the cost of yarn and shipping across the country) on an afghan for my sister. I don't think she liked the deep green color. Her email reply was "thanks."


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## Dowager (Jun 7, 2011)

Wally-the-bear said:


> mama879 said:
> 
> 
> > My Dad when he moved had all of his fathers day gifts in a box in his closet. when we moved him out of the house every one went through the box and found what we had given to him over the years. We all had a good laugh cause it went back into the 60's and 70's. Boy things have changed.
> ...


This evidently is a habit similar to hoarding that some people have. The elderly lady next door died late last year, and when her kids went to clean out her house, they found every gift anyone ever gave her neatly packed away. They said they hauled out 60 garbage bags of stuff! Mind you her house was not messy or stuffed to the ceiling with stuff the way you hear that hoarders' homes are. Just that she kept all gifts ever given her.


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## celrobic (May 9, 2012)

Keep them for yourself and let his toes freeze!


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## MaggieNow (May 11, 2011)

DonnieK said:


> #1 Never tell your Mother-in-law anything you don't want anyone to know
> #2 I'll be there to help you hide the body when you need me
> #3 Never make anything for him again because he won't need it when we hide the body!
> 
> ...


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## Appleblossom (May 6, 2011)

Total Sympathy!!!!


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## vjh1530 (Oct 8, 2011)

Oh boy, I feel your pain!! I would keep the socks for myself and get him the $ tube socks - great idea!!

My hubby is one of those people that no matter how great a gift is, he always has to tell you how it could have been better, especially if there is anyone else in the room to hear his words of wisdom. Makes me crazy and I rarely buy him a gift anymore. This guy always wants me to pick out his clothes when we are going out because he isn't sure which colors match, but boy does he have plenty to say about the colors of anything I knit or sew. I get that it is all about his ego, but who needs the aggravation after the blood sweat and tears of creating something grand, only to hear he thinks you should have used a darker green on the trim, or something equally idiotic. So I stopped showing him my stuff, and he got upset. Told him I don't need his silly criticisms. Now when he sees something he usually only says nice things. When he starts on his "you should have done blah blah blah" I wrap it up and leave the room. He gets the hint.
Sometimes a little tough love is the only thing that works with men. They don't seem to get it if you just tell them.
Been married for almost 40 yrs, so I've learned how to handle him, but he can still make me crazy, lol!! Luckily he has enough nice parts to make up for the other stuff, so I guess I'll keep him.


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## Jaki (Apr 5, 2011)

Oh bless! Never mind honey - you will have the most beautiful socks to wear when you have finished and he will have cold feet!!!! Keep knitting honey! hugs your way xxxx


janedu said:


> Busy knitting sox for my hubby for Father's Day. Mother in law: "How are your sox coming?" in front of hubby. I told him, "This is your Father's Day gift. Do you like it?" He turned his nose up and said, "the color". Must have seen my face drop so added, "Well, I guess they'd be ok with jeans in the winter." This is only the third pr. of sox I've made and the most complicated. I was crushed but tried not to show it. Will prob finish the sock and see if it fits me as he has small ft. AUGH!!!


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## Neeterbug (May 25, 2011)

I love the Doc Martin series...but in one, a friend gave Doc Martin a sweater that she had made and he placed it in the trash...almost turned me against the show.


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## Neeterbug (May 25, 2011)

double click!


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## SaxonLady (Jun 9, 2011)

Neeterbug said:


> double click!


only almost! I hate it when TV programmes show us it's clever to behave badly. I don't want to go back to sickening war-time type BBC, but I do think we should be more careful.


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## Teri11215 (Jun 13, 2012)

I'm so sorry your husband had this reaction, but it was cruel of your mother-in-law to even bring the topic up also. Perhaps she didn't mean any harm, but it is out there now, as everyone has said here. I don't crochet or knit for anyone unless I know they are going to appreciate the work and effort, and love put behind it. 
My brother doesn't like anything that is hand knit or crocheted. So next time keep this in mind, and remember the time effort and love you put into it, before you knit anything for anyone. 

Good luck to you!


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## baglady1104 (Apr 10, 2011)

Hugs to you, Janedu. I know the feeling too well, and I, too, only knit (or crochet or sew) for those I know will appreciate it. Be sure and make plenty of remarks about how cozy and warm your feet are next winter when you're wearing "his" socks and he's shivering in dollar store tube socks.


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## nit witty (Dec 29, 2011)

Wally-the-bear said:


> Keep the socks for yourself and gift him a pair of tube-socks from the Dollar store.
> 
> We who love to DO crafts think that the people we give the results to will love them as much. They do not appreciate the time and love we put into the knitted item. It is an expression of how much we care for the person, but often they don't get it. I agree, keep the socks for yourself, get him a pair from the Dollar store.
> 
> My son saw me knitting a sweater and said he hoped that it wasn't for his girlfriend. It wasn't and I said so. However, he saw a "blanket" I had made for myself out of alpaca, soft, beautiful and terribly expensive. That is what he asked me to make for him. He may not know how much it cost, but he loved the beauty of it.


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## Torticollus (Dec 3, 2011)

I like the phrase used by drdi,
"Create only for those who appreciate!"


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## debbieb (May 7, 2011)

Marianne818 said:


> When I first started knitting again, I was excited learning all the new stitches and the fact that I could do things I never expected to be able to do. I made a few scarfs, admitted the first couple were not the prettiest by far, but I was still proud. My Mom loved the colors and complimented on my work. Then as she was going back down the hallway with her therapist, I heard her say that one has to be supportive with people that do craftworks, but I personally will never wear anything homemade. Well the scarf that I was making for her went to a friend, (who loved it and wore it often). One day I was sitting knitting on an Alexandria shawl, Mom was just thrilled at how pretty it was and kept saying I hope that is for me. I reminded her about what she said about homemade items.. she was shocked that I heard her... then she explained that once her foster mother had made a sweater for her, she wore it to school and everyone teased her (evidently it was a first project and not that pretty). Mom didn't realize how pretty and light and flowing that homemade items can be. When I finally finished the shawl, I wrapped it around Mom's shoulders and she had tears in her eyes, she knew how I had suffered with this shawl, told me to keep it as it was so beautiful. Mom wears the shawl now every time she goes out and if anyone comments on it she smiles and tells them that her daughter made it just for her :lol:


Marianne, that's a beautiful story. Thanks for sharing it.


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## freckles (May 21, 2011)

I must be spoiled and everytime I start a new pair wants to know if it's for him. My DH LOVES his socks (5 pairs so far) and he wears every one of them. All different colors and patterns. They are shaped to his feet and he claims only socks that ever fit him right. Now he's waiting for a Gypsy Bear<G>. We were away so I wasn't able to get into the picnic so hope there will be another. He collects bears!! Over 400 at our house and it's nice to be home.


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## Dot M (May 9, 2012)

My heart goes out to you. I remember the only pair I ever knitted for my husband for his Birthday, a couple months before we married. I had made my father a pair of Argyle knitted socks to wear with his regular winter boots. Dad then asked me if I could makke him a higher pair to wear with his high boots- of course I did. When hubby to be saw them he wanted a pair. Shortly after we married I noticed his were not in with his clothes and asked him about them. Was told someone in the family where he had been living had taken them. To this day, I will never be sure if he gave them to him, loaned them to him, or he just stole them. It hurt to know he hadn`t kept them. My father wore his every winter till he died in 1975-( wore them for about 20 winters), then my mother gave them back to me and I put them away to keep. Here is was over 35 years later and last winter I got them out and started wearing them with my boots when working outside. Boy, were they nice and warm. 
So, give them to your husband and if in cold weather when working outside, he never wears them,( he might surprise you) ask him if you can wear them. That way all your hard work gets lots of use. Good luck.


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## Leland Sandy (Aug 24, 2011)

I made an Aran sweater for my husband early in our marriage. I fit it to his unique shape (big shoulders, narrow waist, left arm inches shorter than the right). He wore it the first time to a party we were going to but checked the oil in the car first. He got oil on the sleeve and I could not get it out. Never wore it. You'd think I would have learned. I sewed a dress for our 2 year old daughter to wear to a wedding and sewed husband a dress shirt to match. Same fitting issues as with sweater. He wore the shirt when our daughter wore the dress and seemed to enjoy it but told me - "why would you spend your time making a shirt when you can go to the store and buy one???" He is now known as my former husband.

Ohhh, as I reread this, I sound so bitter. Time to get over it.


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## vpatt (Dec 24, 2011)

nit witty said:


> Wally-the-bear said:
> 
> 
> > Keep the socks for yourself and gift him a pair of tube-socks from the Dollar store.
> ...


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## drdi (Sep 16, 2011)

I remember that Doc Martin episode. The crazy pharmacist knit it for him and it had a big yellow M on the front. But what would you expect of the Doc? He is crazy, OCD, and is always saying things that hurt. Throwing away the sweater was "in character." I agree, all handmade items don't look homemade, but few people who do not knit, crochet, etc, know how much work goes into a garment or item. Husbands watch us create, but don't understand how much love we pour into the item. If they do, please value them. They are not the norm.


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## vpatt (Dec 24, 2011)

vpatt said:


> nit witty said:
> 
> 
> > Wally-the-bear said:
> ...


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## Johna (May 7, 2012)

Yourmother306 - Where did you get that cute "typing cat". Can I get it somewhere?


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## Johna (May 7, 2012)

I have made several things for my husband - sewed shirts, embroidered on shirts etc. When he saw me knitting (in the process of learning), my husband said "Is that for me"? 
Thank God I have such a wonderful husband. He never remembers my birthday, but such is life.


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## Gundi2 (May 25, 2012)

I sure agree with Wally the Bear.


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## Juleen (Jun 3, 2011)

Have been there/done that! Knitted hubby a sweater years ago. He wore it once or twice at the most. Now, I knit baby afghans for charity! :O)


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## westwood (Dec 9, 2011)

Don't feel bad. At my husband's request, I've made him a pair of socks and those mittens that soldiers use that you can fold back and expose your fingers -- he saw them on TV and thought they were cool (they were also a pain to make). Anyway, I've never seen him wear either project. So, don't fret. If he doesn't like them, at least you tried. Now you can knit for people who appreciate it.


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## flitri (Jun 13, 2011)

I bought some wool once, (it was brown) and I thought that it would be nice for my son. When I got home and showed it to him he said to make something for the dog with it. That was about 10 years ago. I knitted myself a cardigan out of it. I didn't make anything for him again until last year when my mother asked me to help her knit him a vest. He was in my knitting bad books for a long time.


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## knittingdragon (Jun 15, 2012)

Just tell him it's the thought that counts and he should be happy that you even wanted to make him something instead of spending HIS money on a gift. Hehehe. My hubby did that to me one year (our wedding anniversary) and I told him he had hurt my feelings. Then I asked him straight did he want a gift or not. He apologised and said he hadn't even thought of hurting me, then to make it up he took me to an expensive restaurant for a surprise dinner. He never complained about gifts I bought or made for him ever again. That was 15 years ago.
Knitting Dragon. :-(


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## jconard (Feb 6, 2012)

Sounds as if your husband takes after his mother! I truly hope not because she sound a little rude! I thank the Lord for my late MIL, she always said my husband was lucky to have chosen me! And, I try very hard to BE a good MIL...I really love my daughter-in-law & tell my son how lucky he is!

Judy


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## Dsynr (Jun 3, 2011)

YUCH! Well, it's so much water under the bridge. I once asked the Big Guy how he put up with so much from me. He answered, "Well, I figure if U can put up with my @#$% I can put up with yours."
So your Big Guy had a "foot-in-mouth" or "Mouth going before brain is in gear" moment. Big deal. We all have them; and sometimes more than we would care to admit.
There is also the way he was reared. If his Mom made stuff, he puts more value on stuff you make. If his Mom didn't made stuff, he places less value on stuff you make. 
Unless he badmouths everything you do for him and never shows any gratitude, I say let it go. What the hey.


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## Cin (Jul 8, 2011)

Men! Can't live with 'em....... Well, things to do!


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## Cin (Jul 8, 2011)

Oop! I forgot my "LOL"......


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## camplaffalot (Mar 2, 2012)

My husband picked out yarn and color for both a sweater and socks. I think he wore them once. Haven't seen them anywhere around for years. And if I buy him something, it is never right. So, I just let the man do his own thing and I do mine.

He does think it's nice that I knit things for others though. But he used to complain that my stash was just to enormous and expensive and that I needed to stop buying yarn..... UNTIL......he took up smoking expensive cigars. Now he offers to drive me to buy yarn, needles, whatever I need to keep crafting. LOVE HIS GUILT! We joke about it.


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## yvone (May 11, 2012)

my friend asked me to knit a JumPer 2.BUT CAN SHE PAY FOR JUST THE AMOUNT OFF A CONE THAT I WOULD USE"[BEAR IN MIND I HAD TO BUY A CONE OF THE COLOUR OF HER CHOICE AND WASTE THE SURPLUS CHEEK


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## cookie grandma (Jun 18, 2012)

I felt your pain like a knitting needle in my eye! I spent a whole summer with graft paper, charting pattern and colors for an afghan for my husband. After that it took several months to knit it. He never said thank you and I finally got the courage to ask him if he didn't like it and he replied that he would have liked it longer. It covers him from neck to toes......never again.


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## craftylady953 (Feb 14, 2012)

I would NEVER give him the socks or anything else I would make in the future, and you should wear the socks often infront of him. A gift is a gift, regardless of the color or anything else, how rude of him to make a comment regarding the color. His Mother was no help either. Does she knit or crochet? I bet not. 

My wicked SIL made the comment one time when I was handing her a gift wrapped beautiful afghan, that she supposed it was yet again something else hand made (vs. store bought). It was the last gift she ever received from me, whether hand made or purchased.


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## yvone (May 11, 2012)

GOOD ON YOU


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## jconard (Feb 6, 2012)

When I was a teen, I knitted my Dad a pair of argyle sox...my 1st & ONLY argyles! Too many bobbins to carry along as you knit...anyway, I only finished 1 sock by Christmas, so I gave it to him with an IOU for 1 more argyle sock. My Mom told me after he passed away, that when she cleaned out his drawers, he still had my note from years before! How touching was that? (AND...he was my step-dad!) No, he was a real dad!


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## 33141 (Aug 24, 2011)

So sorry your husband spoke without thinking and hurt your feelings. I'm with the others, no more sharing info with your MIL unless you want the world to know. My sweet husband is a mite picky about colors too, maybe you could over dye the socks in one of his favorite colors.

My problem isn't that my husband doesn't like what I knit, its getting him to keep up with the item. I knit him a Malibrigo cowl that quickly disappeared. No more expensive yarns for him!


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## Mercedes Chung (Feb 6, 2012)

Hi, I am into sock-knitting a lot these days and definitely understand how you must have felt when being told these hurtful words when you have put so much of your time and TLC into MAKING something for him. Perhaps, the fact that his mother was next to him prompted him to give an answer that was "pleasing" to her??!! I don't know for sure but no matter what, if I were him, I would mostly appreciate your effort, time and love that make up the foundation of the gift itself. Say a little prayer and send it along with the finished socks before you give them to him. I remember I heard one story once and to make it short,it tells of a father saying hurtful words when his 5-year-old (I think) gave him an empty box and told him that she had spent hours of time making it. He was furious and accused her of lying to him only to find out that his little girl had spent HOURS and DAYS and WEEKS of her time blowing kisses into the box. So, for whatever it's worth, I know you are appreciated one way or another.... it is a matter of time. You should be proud of yourself, regardless! Have a blessed week! (smile)


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## Knitaddict (Feb 16, 2012)

I can understand. Last year, I made a shawl for my mom, not a lace shawl, not that fancy, but it was the first one I'd ever made - all triangles that you knit together as you go. It wasn't my most stellar work, but my mom had made things over the years, and I thought she'd appreciate it. So now, at 85, she took it out of the box looked at it, said nothing, put it back in the box and put it on the floor. She's gotten really harsh in the past few years. No more home-made things for mom!


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## susannahp (Nov 7, 2011)

janedu said:


> Busy knitting sox for my hubby for Father's Day. Mother in law: "How are your sox coming?" in front of hubby. I told him, "This is your Father's Day gift. Do you like it?" He turned his nose up and said, "the color". Must have seen my face drop so added, "Well, I guess they'd be ok with jeans in the winter." This is only the third pr. of sox I've made and the most complicated. I was crushed but tried not to show it. Will prob finish the sock and see if it fits me as he has small ft. AUGH!!!


Well first and foremost husbands are not our fathers so I dont do a gift for my hubby , he always tells me that I am not his mother , but we do send an ecard when that day arrives but thats it , I will admit my hubby has never snubbed on of my creations for him and wears them happily and without any nasty comments...


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## jconard (Feb 6, 2012)

Ny younger grandson (age 13 now) LOVES duct tape! He does so many things with the tape, he is very creative, so every time I go to AC Moore or a hardware store where they sell the different color & style tape, I buy him a roll or 2, He seems very appreciative & thanks me nicely. I think he uses it & is not justbeing polite! I am so proud of my 2 grandsons! The older graduates highscool this week, they are such good kids. I give my daughter in law all the credit. My son is the fun-dad!


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## jbandsma (Mar 6, 2011)

My husband has been used to getting hand-knit gifts from childhood. His mother was a knitter of sweaters and vests but she never knit socks.

One year I knit him 12 pair of nice squishy wool socks. He wears them all the time when he works, even in the summer here in the south. He says they're cooler in the summer than any others and warmer in the winter. Of course he's now laughing at a few of the sweaters knit for him before he lost almost 70 lbs. Looks like I'm going to be doing some taking apart and re-knitting.


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## Alta Grama (Apr 16, 2012)

Your hubby should be thankful you were making him a gift. After all, he is not YOUR father so your making him a gift for Fathers Day should be treated with extra gratitude.


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## Calicolee (Feb 7, 2012)

I have to laugh a little because it must be a man thing. I will never make my husband anything again and I will not buy him clothes. He has a sarcastic sense of humor and has used it one too many times. I don't even show him anything I have made anymore. I think after 22 years he realizes it as now he he sees me making something and tells me how nice it is ( even when it looks like you know what. But I still love him. LOL


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## Juleen (Jun 3, 2011)

LOL, perhaps your SIL is related to my ex-SIL? When I asked her to join me for lunch (hubby and I are both teachers), she looked me right in the eye and said, and I quote, "I live on a different social economic level than you do. I wouldn't be seen with you!". Last time I offered her anything especially anything home made!


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## bpj (Oct 14, 2011)

My heart goes out to you, Please try to think he would like back what he said. If you can't try with all your heart to but the hurt away. I just know how bad it must have hurt you. I send all my best wishes to you and know all us at KP feel your hurt also.


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## jconard (Feb 6, 2012)

OMG!!! I can't believe a Mother would do such a thing to a wonderful daughter that thought enough of her mother to knit her a scarf! Geez....I fussed over every single thing my kids made in school, & we all can laugh now but appreciate the time & thought it took those kids to give us a gift! My kids could have given me a box of garbage bags & I would have fussed over it!!!


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## Mary Moppet (Sep 20, 2011)

kcm1223 said:


> CollettePlaquet said:
> 
> 
> > I go into the giving of anything with the idea that it pleases me. I give it thought, yes, but I cannot control how someone will accept or treat my gift. I put love and energy into making something, I do not have energy to entertain resentment when someone does not see the gift as I do. If I see it goes over like a lead balloon...I just don't do that again. Do what pleases you and enjoy your accomplishments.
> ...


Very well said. "And yet......in my heart." --- Amen to that.


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## nifty needles (May 30, 2012)

Knit him one more sock, and if opens his mouth to make another remark, insert the sock.


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## Knitwitch51 (Oct 20, 2011)

Wally-the-bear said:


> Keep the socks for yourself and gift him a pair of tube-socks from the Dollar store.
> 
> 
> janedu said:
> ...


lol - MIL needs to "put a sock in it" ... DH didn't stand a chance in getting the right words out 'in the moment'. Send him to his cave and get yourself some lovely yarn for yourself.

I share your disappointment, as this has happened to me too. We're all individuals and say things different ways and ften can't understand how such a simple sentence could cause such pain and disappointment.

I'd suggest to onsider donating your socks to someone in a nursing home and release them with love. If they stay in your house, they'll only be reminders of an unfortunate moment.

Please send a picture of them first so that we can all ooh and aah over them!!!!


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## jconard (Feb 6, 2012)

What a terrible thing for a SIL to say! Thank goodness I married an only child (who was the most generous person I ever met! Usaually only children are selfish!) AND I can top that. I love my daughter-in-law. I tell my son frequently how lucky he is...she is a gem!!!! And I love her as much as I love my daughter!


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## CaroleJS (Jun 2, 2011)

drdi said:


> Sadly, people say things and then don't know how to take it back. Like squeezing toothpaste from a tube. Once it's out there, you can't put it back. I'm sure he will admire the socks and enjoy looking at them--even if he doesn't wear them. I've learned a lesson about my crafts. I only create for people who appreciate.


Ditto. I have learned that unless my daughter "requests" something, no point in trying to be generous.


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## janedu (May 22, 2011)

My mother in law is 91 so is excused for her tongue, and I was knitting in front of my hubby so she prob thought he knew. 
I had NO idea this topic would elicit 10 pages of comment. I now know I'm not alone and so appreciate all of your support and humor!


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## kimberknit (Jun 8, 2012)

I jumped right into making socks soon after I picked up knitting. I made them for my kids, it was winter in new England & wool is warm, but they really loved them. hubby wanted to 'try' a pair. hmmm. he was afraid the decreases on the toes would bother him, and I assured him you can't feel it. he didn't like the look of the heel flap, so I searched around and decided on an afterthought heel. he liked the pattern so I made them. my first afterthought heels, perfect in a pinch, easy to replace when worn out, and if I want to make them for a gift I can knit the tube and theoretically add the heel once I've fitted them to the person. well, once they were done he took one look at burst out laughing! he said it looked like a tube with places for toes on either end, the 'funniest' thing he's ever seen. ya, hilarious, two weeks of knitting and a beautiful merino cashmere yarn. I wrapped them in a ribbon and gave them to my father, who wears them all the time.


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## yvone (May 11, 2012)

BLESS YOU I HAD THAT EXPERIENCE WITH MY DEAR MUM.[90] PUT IT DOWN TO AGE AND LOVE HER JUST AS MUCH


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## Cheeky Blighter (Nov 20, 2011)

Wally-the-bear said:


> Keep the socks for yourself and gift him a pair of tube-socks from the Dollar store.
> 
> 
> janedu said:
> ...


I agree - He won't know the difference and you get the socks. I have learned to knit for those who appreciate it. I've even had some friend's say their adult children complain about knitted gifts given to them and remarked is that all you're going to give me some homemade sweater, obviously not knowing the cost of yarn and the dear cost of knitting it up that is priceless. I have a dear sister in law who asks me at the end of summer if I would knit her something up for Christmas. She loves my work and knows it's quality as well as it's value. I go out of my way to pick special yarn and get just the right pattern for her every year.


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## Swimalot (Nov 18, 2011)

Sometimes men do not engage brain, as the saying goes, we ladies are pass masters at tact and dimplomacy. When he wears his new socks, I hope he kicks himself with them.


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## Roe (Feb 10, 2011)

It seems to me that everyone of us crafters, be it knitting, sewing, crocheting or what our craft is, have experienced ingrates. It breaks my heart not to be able to make all of the things that my granddaughter and grandson wants me to, because their mother is so unappreciative of hand made things from both I and her stepmother. It is impossible to watch things careless (or purposely) destroyed because she has no idea of the time, energy, or money to make quality things let alone the passion. Her step mother sews an make beautiful quilts and things. I knit and crochet. We have gotten together to create something together combining our crafts and it never fails nothing is taking care of and a request to "fix" problems. We live 4 hours away from each other and have to schedule busy time to "fix". I have flat out said no more and her step mother agreed. We both told the kids that we will make something however it has to stay at one of our houses until it is proven they can take care of things themselves and bring it home. So, don't be too upset. It happens to all of us. Next time ask him what he wants and color and go from there. No ones feelings hurt and no back tracking to undo hurt feeling spoken without thought. Never give up on your craft because of ill spoken words.


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## jangmb (Oct 27, 2011)

Jessica-Jean said:


> Been there. I feel your pain. In my case, my husband is the smaller of us, so the sweater I made for him could never fit me.
> He asked for it. He selected the yarn, sweater pattern, stitch pattern. He submitted to trying it on as it progressed.
> When I handed the completely finished sweater to him, he put it on, and took it off immediately. Then he handed it to me saying I should take it apart and make it just a tad larger!
> Luckily, my youngest sister is the exact size to fill his sweater. That was early in our marriage - 40 years ago. He has never ceased wishing for a sweater from my needles. Hell will probably freeze over before _that_ happens!
> ...


I love your story and appreciate it. I am afraid that your resonse is exactly how I would respond. A cold day in hell before he got another hand made item from me.


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## 33141 (Aug 24, 2011)

mama879 said:


> He would most likely insert his foot if he opened it any further. I agree next time buy him something. But that does not always work My Dad when he moved had all of his fathers day gifts in a box in his closet. Now mind you he had 5 kids so when we moved him out of the house every one went through the box and found what we had given to him over the years. We all had a good laugh cause it went back into the 60's and 70's. Boy things have changed.


When my Mom went through my Grandpa's stuff, there was a pair of hand knit socks one of her sisters had knit for him. I think he kept them all those years, not because he didn't like them, but because he treasured them and didn't want to wear them out. Luckily they fit my father who happily wore them for several years before they wore out.


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## jangmb (Oct 27, 2011)

Marianne818 said:


> When I first started knitting again, I was excited learning all the new stitches and the fact that I could do things I never expected to be able to do. I made a few scarfs, admitted the first couple were not the prettiest by far, but I was still proud. My Mom loved the colors and complimented on my work. Then as she was going back down the hallway with her therapist, I heard her say that one has to be supportive with people that do craftworks, but I personally will never wear anything homemade. Well the scarf that I was making for her went to a friend, (who loved it and wore it often). One day I was sitting knitting on an Alexandria shawl, Mom was just thrilled at how pretty it was and kept saying I hope that is for me. I reminded her about what she said about homemade items.. she was shocked that I heard her... then she explained that once her foster mother had made a sweater for her, she wore it to school and everyone teased her (evidently it was a first project and not that pretty). Mom didn't realize how pretty and light and flowing that homemade items can be. When I finally finished the shawl, I wrapped it around Mom's shoulders and she had tears in her eyes, she knew how I had suffered with this shawl, told me to keep it as it was so beautiful. Mom wears the shawl now every time she goes out and if anyone comments on it she smiles and tells them that her daughter made it just for her :lol:


A very touching story.


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## susannahp (Nov 7, 2011)

Juleen said:


> LOL, perhaps your SIL is related to my ex-SIL? When I asked her to join me for lunch (hubby and I are both teachers), she looked me right in the eye and said, and I quote, "I live on a different social economic level than you do. I wouldn't be seen with you!". Last time I offered her anything especially anything home made!


OMG what is wrong with her , to have the audacity to say something like that , she may think she is on another level from you but in reality this simply shows her ignorance...You are far richer for not having to deal with her anymore...


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## susannahp (Nov 7, 2011)

nifty needles said:


> Knit him one more sock, and if opens his mouth to make another remark, insert the sock.


 :thumbup:


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## Vique (Oct 28, 2011)

So tell me, who did you go to, a proctologist or a podiatrist to get your foot out of his a--?


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## kniitylou (Apr 14, 2011)

Ok; If you are mad at your husband over this--Your MIL has done her Job. She is there to plant descent between you and your husband. SOOOOOOOOOOO THAT SAID THINK THIS. He was mad at his mom for ruining your father's day gift-and-spoke out at her not you. OKAY--now go up to your husband tweak his ear, smile learingly at him peak his cheeck with a kiss---when he says what, say I will be under your jeans all winter long. Right now picture him nake in the middle of winter outside sliding on your socks and him getting a loving aw on his face. Please look at how MIL treats him in front of you. I figured out my MIL after many many tears---then when I did she had no hold over me---Please remember your husband picked you over her. WOW-she is a sore loser--Knittylou


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## gma11331 (Oct 18, 2011)

I don't gift my husband on Father's Day. He's not my father. That's what he told me one Mother's Day!!!


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## GMADRAGON2 (Apr 20, 2011)

Jessica-Jean said:


> Been there. I feel your pain. In my case, my husband is the smaller of us, so the sweater I made for him could never fit me.
> He asked for it. He selected the yarn, sweater pattern, stitch pattern. He submitted to trying it on as it progressed.
> When I handed the completely finished sweater to him, he put it on, and took it off immediately. Then he handed it to me saying I should take it apart and make it just a tad larger!
> Luckily, my youngest sister is the exact size to fill his sweater. That was early in our marriage - 40 years ago. He has never ceased wishing for a sweater from my needles. Hell will probably freeze over before _that_ happens!
> ...


Specifically why I don't knit garments for any member of my family any more. They got afghans three Xmas' ago ... and last gifts they will receive (though they loved them.) Too much effort, too little return.


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## breeze075 (May 12, 2012)

Wally-the-bear said:


> Keep the socks for yourself and gift him a pair of tube-socks from the Dollar store.
> 
> 
> janedu said:
> ...


Agree!


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## nifty needles (May 30, 2012)

Yeah, mine too!
Think of the money we have saved, to buy more stash. :-D


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## susannahp (Nov 7, 2011)

gma11331 said:


> I don't gift my husband on Father's Day. He's not my father. That's what he told me one Mother's Day!!!


 :thumbup:


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## SFCMommy (Dec 14, 2011)

When we were first married, I knitted socks for my husband with a turned heel. As a novice knitter, this project was a big deal for me. I thought they came out rather nice, even though the socks were slightly different sizes. (After that, I learned to knit anything-in-pairs at the same time on one set of needles using two balls of yarns.) Hubby didn't like them so I began wearing them. Over the years, I tenderly darned and hand-washed those socks. Now it's 41 years later and I still have those socks but not hubby. Oh, I got rid of him and his nasty mouth 16 years ago, and life has gotten SO much better! Never look back!


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## animal lover (May 3, 2012)

I'm so sorry that happened. I'd be so hurt and as you would keep them for myself. I'm sure besides the hard work you put into them, you also made them with love. He doesn't deserve them. :evil:


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## Knitress (Feb 14, 2012)

Oh that is sad, all that work but at least you will get socks for yourself and a lesson learned. I always ask a person before I knit or crochet for them if they would enjoy such a gift. They bring a pattern and I will knit it as a gift.


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## Knitress (Feb 14, 2012)

gma11331 said:


> I don't gift my husband on Father's Day. He's not my father. That's what he told me one Mother's Day!!!


Oh Touche


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## margie1992 (Apr 27, 2011)

I have knitted two sweaters for my husband -- a pullover in Bronco team colors inlcuding the horse's head and a 36-row repeat aran cardigan from yarn my mother got me in Ireland. He wore the pullover to games until he quit going to games because it got to be too much of a hassle. He won't wear the cardigan because we had a bet that he would finish the addition before I finished the cardigan. I won. Maybe I'm just too competitive. He just recently asked if I could knit socks as he's never seen me do so. None of our family wears "nice" socks. He wants the work-sock type that is made from wool worsted. He does like my hand knit slippers like his grandmother use to make him. I got the pattern from her. But, I never make surprises and never give them on a "gift-giving occasion."


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## tmendicino (Jun 10, 2012)

First off, lets take a look at your mother in Law? she set the whole senario up.

And second (and the most important) I knit for people all of the time.

If they like it great! If they don't, I understand. My taste is differnt from others. But I did try show them my love, through knitting.

I just knit a cute hot pink Satchel for my daughters 21st.
It comes with a diamond necklace inside the bag. I know my daughter. Of course she will love the necklace. She may never use the satchel, but I know that I put not only money, but love into her 21st birthday present, and that makes me feel good. 

Give him the socks and see what happens. And what ever happens accept it. You tried and thats all that matters.


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## PatriciaDF (Jan 29, 2011)

I've had a similar experience. Years ago, made a beautiful, cabled pullover sweater for my husband. Took me months. It's still in the drawer where he put it after I gave it to him. Needless to say, I've never knit another thing for him besides ear warmers that he wears in the winter. Sure hurts when all your love and effort is not appreciated!


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## RitaCarola (Apr 18, 2011)

I know how you feel... I had my feelings hurt as well... My husband is really hard to buy for, but anyway, I decided on a gift 
and card and prepared one of his favorite meals... I really spent a lot of time in the kitchen... We had the table set nice with his gifts and all... We called him to eat dinner... he didn't come, he was puttering in his office, moving furniture and changing things around... called him again... he didn't come... I went into his office and told him to take a break and come eat, we were all anxious to see him open his gifts and have a nice meal, and he yelled at me... "I'll be in there when I finish in here"... So we all ate and left the table and left everything sitting on the table... He had a cold meal... by himself...



janedu said:


> Busy knitting sox for my hubby for Father's Day. Mother in law: "How are your sox coming?" in front of hubby. I told him, "This is your Father's Day gift. Do you like it?" He turned his nose up and said, "the color". Must have seen my face drop so added, "Well, I guess they'd be ok with jeans in the winter." This is only the third pr. of sox I've made and the most complicated. I was crushed but tried not to show it. Will prob finish the sock and see if it fits me as he has small ft. AUGH!!!


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## ritaford614 (Oct 27, 2011)

If he knew the love and care that went into making them, I'm sure he wouldn't have been so hurtful. However, that being said, since he doesn't seem to appreciate the love and care, I'm in agreement about the dollar store socks! J/K But I'd buy him a nice pair at Macy's and keep the others for myself.


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## knottyknittershop (Mar 16, 2012)

I have shared your heartache.


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## Jeanne Beth (Sep 5, 2011)

I think the dear MIL should have not asked about the sox in front of the hubby. What was she thinking? Could have avoided the whole thing if she had kept quiet. Just sayin'


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## jconard (Feb 6, 2012)

Barefoot sounds good to me, too. I don't do hand work for anyone who can't appreciate the time, talent & love that goes into each piece we knit, crochet, sew, whatever!

Judy


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## jconard (Feb 6, 2012)

Love the idea! I am LOL!!!


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## KaitlanBlackrose (Jun 11, 2012)

My husband has learned the words... they look great honey thank you.. or he will find a used bent pair of knitting needles in his chair in a precarious position that will get him in the end..

Enjoy the socks yourself. You worked hard on them and should. I agree get him a pair of dollar store socks and when his socks get holes in them he will learn to keep his mouth shut


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## FrannyGrace (Dec 25, 2011)

What a lovely story! I am so glad you said something to your Mom or you would never know why she wouldn't wear anything homemade. Once again it had to do with the cruelty of children.


Marianne818 said:


> When I first started knitting again, I was excited learning all the new stitches and the fact that I could do things I never expected to be able to do. I made a few scarfs, admitted the first couple were not the prettiest by far, but I was still proud. My Mom loved the colors and complimented on my work. Then as she was going back down the hallway with her therapist, I heard her say that one has to be supportive with people that do craftworks, but I personally will never wear anything homemade. Well the scarf that I was making for her went to a friend, (who loved it and wore it often). One day I was sitting knitting on an Alexandria shawl, Mom was just thrilled at how pretty it was and kept saying I hope that is for me. I reminded her about what she said about homemade items.. she was shocked that I heard her... then she explained that once her foster mother had made a sweater for her, she wore it to school and everyone teased her (evidently it was a first project and not that pretty). Mom didn't realize how pretty and light and flowing that homemade items can be. When I finally finished the shawl, I wrapped it around Mom's shoulders and she had tears in her eyes, she knew how I had suffered with this shawl, told me to keep it as it was so beautiful. Mom wears the shawl now every time she goes out and if anyone comments on it she smiles and tells them that her daughter made it just for her :lol:


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## jconard (Feb 6, 2012)

I am LOL!!! Hubby will be sorry! Good luck, & you can always knit or crochet for someone you KNOW will appreciate it!


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## FrannyGrace (Dec 25, 2011)

I do not sew or knit or make anything by hand for my husband, either. I learned early on in our marriage that it wouldn't be good enough so why bother. He SAYS he is different now, but it's not worth the chance. And, yes, we have a good marriage, I just know to not open myself up for the pain.


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

Wally-the-bear said:


> mama879 said:
> 
> 
> > My Dad when he moved had all of his fathers day gifts in a box in his closet. when we moved him out of the house every one went through the box and found what we had given to him over the years. We all had a good laugh cause it went back into the 60's and 70's. Boy things have changed.
> ...


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## MotherHensRoost (May 23, 2012)

My husband would return anything and everything I ever bought for him. He was SO darned picky. So one year I finally said to him, "Dear, this year you are going to buy your own Christmas present and wrap it up. I am going to buy my own Christmas present and wrap it up. On Christmas morning I will open your gift, you will open mine and we will both find out what we gave each other." That worked out SO WELL that we did that from then on. He got what he wanted, I got what I wanted. Occasionally he would say something like "OH MY GOSH, how much did I spend for that?" But it was fun and different. All of our friends howled when I told them what we had done.


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## bbbg (Feb 23, 2012)

A. He is not your father.
B. If he asks about the socks, tell him they are on your feet, so he can see them better.
C. Enjoy!


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

MotherHensRoost said:


> My husband would return anything and everything I ever bought for him. He was SO darned picky. So one year I finally said to him, "Dear, this year you are going to buy your own Christmas present and wrap it up. I am going to buy my own Christmas present and wrap it up. On Christmas morning I will open your gift, you will open mine and we will both find out what we gave each other." That worked out SO WELL that we did that from then on. He got what he wanted, I got what I wanted. Occasionally he would say something like "OH MY GOSH, how much did I spend for that?" But it was fun and different. All of our friends howled when I told them what we had done.


We buy for ourselves, too. Never thought of such a cute way to give it, though. Great idea - and a good way to turn something that could have caused resentment into a very good thing for both of you!!


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

To tell you the truth, when I pick out something for my adult kids, I tell them they can take it back if it doesn't suit them, that it won't hurt my feelings. I know our tastes are different, and I'm never quite sure. In fact, now I usually give $$$$ - the color is right, everyone can use it, and one size fits all!


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## gma11331 (Oct 18, 2011)

I used to get so annoyed that DH would always go out before Xmas, BD or whatever and buy himself something that we would have purchased as a gift for him. Then I decided to become a self-appointed psychologist and figured out it had something to do with being disappointed in his childhood because of a lack of gift or something and thusly precluded disappointment by gifting himself!


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## MotherHensRoost (May 23, 2012)

Lots of good answers here. I would not have thought about it having to do with prior disappointments. Could have been because his family did not have much. Anyway, it solved the problem for each of us to buy our own.


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## Blueberrymaniac (Sep 10, 2011)

Wally-the-bear said:


> Keep the socks for yourself and gift him a pair of tube-socks from the Dollar store.
> 
> 
> janedu said:
> ...


Great idea!


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## MrsBearstalker (Aug 11, 2011)

Don't let your mother-in-law in on any future plans!
And your husband isn't your dad (I'm assuming here), so you don't need to give him a Father's Day gift. Leave that up to your kids. 

Two lessons learned in one short moment! :lol: :lol:


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## stanshoney (Mar 9, 2012)

When I make a sweater for DH which I have done twice, we consult on the yarn and pattern. Then he pays for the yarn. So far, the projects have been successes.


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## GANDY (Oct 27, 2011)

Give that rascal just one sock. Put it in his sock drawer to remind him of his bad manners.

Gandy


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## grandmadawn (Sep 4, 2011)

Jessica-Jean said:


> Been there. I feel your pain. In my case, my husband is the smaller of us, so the sweater I made for him could never fit me.
> He asked for it. He selected the yarn, sweater pattern, stitch pattern. He submitted to trying it on as it progressed.
> When I handed the completely finished sweater to him, he put it on, and took it off immediately. Then he handed it to me saying I should take it apart and make it just a tad larger!
> Luckily, my youngest sister is the exact size to fill his sweater. That was early in our marriage - 40 years ago. He has never ceased wishing for a sweater from my needles. Hell will probably freeze over before _that_ happens!
> ...


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## Betty White (Feb 14, 2011)

marylo12 said:


> My DH would say it's "very nice" leave it out for a few days, rave about it to the kids about what I made for him, and then ball it up and put it away never to be seen by human eyes again. He would Never,Ever wear it.
> I would never make him anything. It's always store bought!
> You have my sympathies! :-(


I think we are married to the same man! Good thing they have some other good qualities, isn't it?
Betty


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## grandmadawn (Sep 4, 2011)

Mine did that also, so the next time we saw his brother I asked him to try it on, he was so pleased, that I said it's yours!!


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## prettyroses (Jan 18, 2011)

Not very nice nor loving of the husband and the mom-in-law to belittle the sweet, loving gift of socks the wife was making for her husband. Hard to believe there are people like these who are so negative. As someone else already mentioned, Handmade gifts like those socks should be given only to those who appreciate them.


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## colonialcat (Dec 22, 2011)

men to do open mouths with engaging brains i think many of us have been there and had it happen one or more times in out lives. we do understand the hurt wear the sock yourself and enjoy them. agee with the dollar store idea. keep knitting


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## susannahp (Nov 7, 2011)

I must reply once more, when I was in my late twenties ( gosh that was a long time ago) anyway I made a pullover for my ex and I made it in crackle wool , beautiful blue with hints of red, white and yellow and it was my first mens sweater, well he never wore it , so when my brother ( who travels the world for his work) saw the sweater he was beside himself( he only wore design sweaters) and I looked at him said try it on and gave it to him , my brother boosted my ego and gave me the pat on the back , the ex was ticked off said it was his sweater and I said well its been over a year and you never wore it so I gave it to someone who appreciated it more then you did......now that I am rid of him I know I made the right decision to give it away ....


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## Stephhy (May 14, 2012)

janedu said:


> Busy knitting sox for my hubby for Father's Day. Mother in law: "How are your sox coming?" in front of hubby. I told him, "This is your Father's Day gift. Do you like it?" He turned his nose up and said, "the color". Must have seen my face drop so added, "Well, I guess they'd be ok with jeans in the winter." This is only the third pr. of sox I've made and the most complicated. I was crushed but tried not to show it. Will prob finish the sock and see if it fits me as he has small ft. AUGH!!!


I keep suggesting that I knit a sweater for my Steve, and his exact reply every single time is 1) I don't need any more clothes and 2) if you knit me a sweater I'll have to wear it."

Sigh.

Hidden in the background of those two objections is that 1) he is terrified I'll knit him something with pink in it, and 2) he knows it'll have to have SOMETHING interesting pattern-wise or I won't do it. He's probably afraid I'll knit him up some lace.

I was looking at an old pattern book for men's sweaters from about 50 years ago the other day. Blue, brown, taupe, grey, MAYBE a stripe in one of those other three colors, hardly any pattern stitches.

My, how things have not changed!

I did almost get him to agree to a dark navy pure cashmere pullover (I told him the color would diguise the minimal cable pattern, I'm so sneaky)... right up until he found out that it would cost about $1,500 for his size (shocked me, too). He's so stingy. And I'm sunk for any other yarn, it was the cashmere idea that hooked him.


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## Stephhy (May 14, 2012)

yourmother306 said:


> drdi said:
> 
> 
> > Sadly, people say things and then don't know how to take it back. Like squeezing toothpaste from a tube. Once it's out there, you can't put it back. I'm sure he will admire the socks and enjoy looking at them--even if he doesn't wear them. I've learned a lesson about my crafts. I only create for people who appreciate.
> ...


You can be SURE they appreciate it.


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## Mum7 (Oct 11, 2011)

Ok. Don't fret. Men are always hard to please. So - finish the socks, wear them with pride and keep reminding him that if he hadn't been so stroppy they would have been his. AND don't knit anything else for him.


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## CathyAnn (May 14, 2011)

I used to sew sport shirts for my husband. I'd take him to the fabric store so he could pick out the fabric and pattern (if I didn't already have one he wanted the new shirt to be made out of), and buttons or snaps in case it was a western shirt. He loved them and were his first choice to wear. If he were still with us and I wanted to knit something for him, I'd ask him about yarn/color, etc.

In the case of your situation, I would keep the socks and buy him a pair of tube socks from the $Store too. I'm SURE he'll get the point.


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## Stephhy (May 14, 2012)

knitknack said:


> Janedu, The important thing is that you were creating something out of love. I would definitely keep them for myself and like stated below, "Buy him a pair in the $ store, and if he should ask in the future where are the socks you were making me for Father's Day, I owuld tell him they are in my drawer and I love them and wear them. Perhaps that will be enough for him to have his car in gear before starting the motor.


Funny!


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## Jessica-Jean (Mar 14, 2011)

vickest said:


> wonderful colors are so much more pleasant to knit than charcoal gray.


One of the few sweaters I've done was a Mary Maxim kit that my daughter insisted I make for her; she was about 17 then. She selected an Aran-style pull-over that has a bazillion big bobbles ... in charcoal grey. Luckily for her, she does wear it and even had me bring it to her house in Fresno when we trekked out to visit. I would have prefered knitting such a pretty sweater in any bright colour ...


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## Stephhy (May 14, 2012)

vjh1530 said:


> Oh boy, I feel your pain!! I would keep the socks for myself and get him the $ tube socks - great idea!!
> 
> My hubby is one of those people that no matter how great a gift is, he always has to tell you how it could have been better, especially if there is anyone else in the room to hear his words of wisdom. Makes me crazy and I rarely buy him a gift anymore. This guy always wants me to pick out his clothes when we are going out because he isn't sure which colors match, but boy does he have plenty to say about the colors of anything I knit or sew. I get that it is all about his ego, but who needs the aggravation after the blood sweat and tears of creating something grand, only to hear he thinks you should have used a darker green on the trim, or something equally idiotic. So I stopped showing him my stuff, and he got upset. Told him I don't need his silly criticisms. Now when he sees something he usually only says nice things. When he starts on his "you should have done blah blah blah" I wrap it up and leave the room. He gets the hint.
> Sometimes a little tough love is the only thing that works with men. They don't seem to get it if you just tell them.
> Been married for almost 40 yrs, so I've learned how to handle him, but he can still make me crazy, lol!! Luckily he has enough nice parts to make up for the other stuff, so I guess I'll keep him.


I too have found that leaving the room (not in anger, just leaving) works amazingly well as opposed to words. I sure don't understand it, but hey! whatever works. Maybe men translate words into some other language they can't understand. Hard to do that with actions.


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## nite knitter (May 20, 2012)

feel your pain..been there...thats one of reasons i enjoy knit/crocheting for charity..got tired seeing my things stowed away or sold at rummage sales or on steps to wipe feet on..


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

MotherHensRoost said:


> Lots of good answers here. I would not have thought about it having to do with prior disappointments. Could have been because his family did not have much. Anyway, it solved the problem for each of us to buy our own.


I agree - good observation.


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

MotherHensRoost said:


> Lots of good answers here. I would not have thought about it having to do with prior disappointments. Could have been because his family did not have much. Anyway, it solved the problem for each of us to buy our own.


I agree - good observation.


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## Stephhy (May 14, 2012)

Juleen said:


> LOL, perhaps your SIL is related to my ex-SIL? When I asked her to join me for lunch (hubby and I are both teachers), she looked me right in the eye and said, and I quote, "I live on a different social economic level than you do. I wouldn't be seen with you!". Last time I offered her anything especially anything home made!


What a shallow, empty person. One molecule deep and proud of it!


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

Stephhy said:


> Juleen said:
> 
> 
> > LOL, perhaps your SIL is related to my ex-SIL? When I asked her to join me for lunch (hubby and I are both teachers), she looked me right in the eye and said, and I quote, "I live on a different social economic level than you do. I wouldn't be seen with you!". Last time I offered her anything especially anything home made!
> ...


Oh, my gosh! How does anyone act like that? She certainly revealed a lot about herself.


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## Stephhy (May 14, 2012)

kimberknit said:


> I jumped right into making socks soon after I picked up knitting. I made them for my kids, it was winter in new England & wool is warm, but they really loved them. hubby wanted to 'try' a pair. hmmm. he was afraid the decreases on the toes would bother him, and I assured him you can't feel it. he didn't like the look of the heel flap, so I searched around and decided on an afterthought heel. he liked the pattern so I made them. my first afterthought heels, perfect in a pinch, easy to replace when worn out, and if I want to make them for a gift I can knit the tube and theoretically add the heel once I've fitted them to the person. well, once they were done he took one look at burst out laughing! he said it looked like a tube with places for toes on either end, the 'funniest' thing he's ever seen. ya, hilarious, two weeks of knitting and a beautiful merino cashmere yarn. I wrapped them in a ribbon and gave them to my father, who wears them all the time.


Quite a while ago My Steve began asking me questions about my knitting. It has been fun slowly (very, very slowly) educating him about the process. He doesn't understand how making what seems to him to be the same exact hand movements results in so many different designs. Sometimes I see him sneaking looks to try and "catch" me.

He asked questions to the point where I offered to teach him. To this day I laugh out loud at the look on his face, and pointing out to him that Rosy Grier has reached the level of Master in needlepoint has not seemed to help at all!


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

Stephhy said:


> vjh1530 said:
> 
> 
> > Oh boy, I feel your pain!! I would keep the socks for myself and get him the $ tube socks - great idea!!
> ...


I feel your pain. My husband looks at everything with a need to make it better. Even photographs - he looks, then critiques the brightness, set-up, etc. That's when I realized this was actually a personality trait - can't help himself. So I must help him by setting him straight about how much this is appreciated! Right?


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## gma11331 (Oct 18, 2011)

Wonder why most men feel that needlework is strictly a feminine activity--men have been tailoring for eons.


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

Maybe because the finished product is pretty?


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## Stephhy (May 14, 2012)

PatriciaDF said:


> I've had a similar experience. Years ago, made a beautiful, cabled pullover sweater for my husband. Took me months. It's still in the drawer where he put it after I gave it to him. Needless to say, I've never knit another thing for him besides ear warmers that he wears in the winter. Sure hurts when all your love and effort is not appreciated!


My mother, bless her soul, made a VERY VERY intricate aran.... FULL LENGTH bathrobe.... from fingering weight yarn for my dad. It even had a design on the waist tie. It took her over two years.

During that entire time, my dad made it clear to her, gently but repeatedly, that he thought it was a beautiful design, appreciated her efforts, but was not interested in a wool bathrobe, much less one he considered "frilly".

She did it anyway, and he did try it on but never wore it. It caused her a lot of pain, and to this day I don't feel for her. He TOLD her and TOLD her. It was quite an issue in the family the whole time.

Maybe she thought he would be won over by the final beauty and all the hours. Not!

I think she did it because she enjoyed the heck out of it but didn't seem to recognize that sometimes the goal isn't the meaning of the act.


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## mochamarie (Mar 9, 2012)

grandmatimestwo said:


> I'm sorry your feelings were hurt. Sometimes people speak before they think.


I would never purposely hurt someone's feelings and always try to be charitable in how I answer someone. Maybe I comment on the beautiful color of yarn or whatever instead of what I don't like about the item. The group I stitch with has varying tastes and that's part of life is our differences. But every now and then, unbidden, something stupid comes out of my mouth and I think, "Why did I say that?" I'm sorry your feelings were hurt, probably unintentionally, but here's a big hug from Minnesota!


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## yona (Feb 7, 2011)

Awww, that is sad and in front of your MIL, hmmmmm 

Early in my marriage, I would make lots of sweaters for DH, who wore them happily; hubby passed away many years ago, so no more 'male' sweaters.

My SIL appreciates the GB Packers scarf and hat I made him, so I may make him some more stuff, maybe a sweater and see how that goes.

Meanwhile...... you enjoy the socks, wear them with pride for all the work and love you put into them.


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## Stephhy (May 14, 2012)

FrannyGrace said:


> What a lovely story! I am so glad you said something to your Mom or you would never know why she wouldn't wear anything homemade. Once again it had to do with the cruelty of children.


[/quote]

"..._or you would never know_,"

I finally managed to apologize to my mother for an incident that happened decades before. Every time I happened to think about it over those years, I was brought to tears and guilt. It took me forever to apologize because they traveled a lot and I seldom saw her in person, though we kept in close touch.

She didn't remember what happened AT ALL!!!! I was taken aback and then laughed and laughed. I felt like a huge weight was off my shoulders.

I had accidentally hit her in the abdomen with the end of a broom right after she'd had her hysterectomy. I thought at the time she would die (I was only 10).


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## Stephhy (May 14, 2012)

MotherHensRoost said:


> My husband would return anything and everything I ever bought for him. He was SO darned picky. So one year I finally said to him, "Dear, this year you are going to buy your own Christmas present and wrap it up. I am going to buy my own Christmas present and wrap it up. On Christmas morning I will open your gift, you will open mine and we will both find out what we gave each other." That worked out SO WELL that we did that from then on. He got what he wanted, I got what I wanted. Occasionally he would say something like "OH MY GOSH, how much did I spend for that?" But it was fun and different. All of our friends howled when I told them what we had done.


What a GREAT idea!


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## CathyAnn (May 14, 2011)

MotherHensRoost said:


> My husband would return anything and everything I ever bought for him. He was SO darned picky. So one year I finally said to him, "Dear, this year you are going to buy your own Christmas present and wrap it up. I am going to buy my own Christmas present and wrap it up. On Christmas morning I will open your gift, you will open mine and we will both find out what we gave each other." That worked out SO WELL that we did that from then on. He got what he wanted, I got what I wanted. Occasionally he would say something like "OH MY GOSH, how much did I spend for that?" But it was fun and different. All of our friends howled when I told them what we had done.


L O V E I T !!!! :thumbup:


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## Mungie (Mar 12, 2011)

laurelarts said:


> I agree with drdi, he probably just didn't know what he was saying or how to say what he should be saying. I also agree with her about creating for those who appreciate it. Learned that the hard way as well. We, here, know the work that goes into it and we can appreciate that as well as feel your pain.


I totally agree. My biggest problem is I have two grand daughter-in-laws who are always requesting knit things for their children, so I make them,sweaters, socks, headbands, etc. etc. and I never see the kids wearing them. They say they love them and wear them, but I wonder. I see these children almost everyday and have yet to see them wear anything that I have made for them. I have another request for a sweater, size 12, and a scarf and headband set for another one. Imagine I'll probably make them.


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## threekidsmom (Feb 8, 2012)

tryalot said:


> Wally-the-bear said:
> 
> 
> > Keep the socks for yourself and gift him a pair of tube-socks from the Dollar store.
> ...


 I agree!


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## yarnslut (Aug 9, 2011)

Just knit for people who will appreciate it. You'll be happier that you made someone else happy. If my husband wants something knitted, I've offered to teach him how to knit. So far, he's refused. His loss. As for mothers-in-law - that's for another day.


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## PattyAnn (Jan 24, 2011)

peachy51 said:


> Men! Can't live with 'em and can't shoot 'em :mrgreen:


You could then you would have lots of time to knit if the jail would let you have needles.


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## pprose (Jan 24, 2012)

When your husband speaks to soon again hand him one of the socks and tell him 'PUT A SOCK IN IT". I wonder if that is how the saying came about.


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## SAMkewel (Mar 5, 2011)

Wally-the-bear said:


> Keep the socks for yourself and gift him a pair of tube-socks from the Dollar store.
> 
> 
> janedu said:
> ...


:~D!!!


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## MOM_WOW (Dec 1, 2011)

Sigh. This is why I ask my kids WHAT they want before I start... sometimes the "SURPRISE" can be on the GIFTER instead of the GIFTEE!

UG!


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## Jennifa (Oct 19, 2011)

Well at least he opened them a friend told me about her daughter-in-law who doesn't even both to open the gifts from her in-laws, what happened to manners?


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## CathyAnn (May 14, 2011)

After reading all of this, I have to give a prayer of thanks. My mother was born and raised on a farm during the '20's and 30's where money wasn't abundant. As a result, my mother has always appreciated things my sister and I made for her. She loves the afghan, doilies and shawl I knit for her -- all in her favorite color (blue). I've asked my sister if she'd like me to make her an afgan and she's said no, that she wants Mom's when the time comes. (Our mother is 93.) I really appreciate the fact that she's up front; I can't stand the games people sometimes play!

Marianne, I love your story about your mother. It really touched me!


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## dianejohnson (Jul 26, 2011)

any chance he was tilting his head up to get a better look through his bifocals? and 'color' meant he liked the color, which was his answer to your question. you know men with their 'yup' and 'nope' answers. perhaps there was nothing bad intended in what he did or said. your mother-in-law is something else, especially if she knew you were knitting them as a surprise. that's very careless and i'd let her know how disappointed in her i was that she didn't respect that.
why don't you ask him 'do you really like the color?' when you two are alone. if he says 'i said i did' or similar, just say 'i'm glad' or 'i hoped you would. i like making things for you'. see what he says then. sometimes, the more emotional men get, the fewer words they are able to say.

if he said and did these things in a mean-spirited way, you really should ask him, again at a private time, what he meant by what he said. that you might have misunderstood his meaning. and that you were hoping that he would like having and wearing the socks you were making just for him. maybe the guys at work teased him (out of envy) that he was wearing socks his wife made, and he felt awkward at the teasing. there may be other thoughts involved that prompted his response.

sometimes our perceptions of what a person meant is quite different from what they really meant to be communicating.
it never hurts to double-check. but gently. kindly. not hot and bothered. i would have been rather annoyed at his mother for spilling the beans about the gift, tho. that would have hurt my feelings and i would have said sadly and immediately; 'now, why did you spoil his surprise?'

unless you're sure he was being mean (and in front of his mother? really unacceptable behavior!), in which case, i would make the socks for myself and tell him i had changed my mind (but only if he asked about the socks). his father's day card would simply have a gift-card inside. ps. does he buy YOU a mother's day gift or card? if not, you should not be giving him a father's day gift or card. you really should not.


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## CAS50 (Mar 26, 2012)

Geez, he obviously has no idea how much time and care you put into it! Just take it apart, lol.

I sewed hubby fleece booties and he wears them, I don't know if he feels like a dork doing so -- one pair had a little Scotty embellishment, and another had appliqued nickname.

He has told me straight out he prob would not wear a sweater since it is too hot, but if I knit one he will try to.

When I handed the completely finished sweater to him, he put it on, and took it off immediately. Then he handed it to me saying I should take it apart and make it just a tad larger!


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## fly2lln (Nov 5, 2011)

Our hubbies forget how closely our hearts are attached to our crafts. They are our arts. We put loved into every stitch. Rejecting our "artwork" makes us feel rejected. I agree, the rule should be: Only do for those who appreciate the art of our craft. And to those who don't appreciate: Their loss is someone elses gain, hah!


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## yogandi (Mar 24, 2012)

I feel your pain. Years ago I have made a beautiful zippered cardigan for my hubby and worked my B...off with it to make it right. It has several breads one on the side of the sleeves. What was his reaction? It looks like Ricky Ricardo....)
Since then the sweater in the closet not worn but once and made a lot of jokes around it on a Christmas party...It will be eventually frogged or sold on ebay.
So do not take it hard , keep the socks keep hubby too but do not make him no more knitwork. I have not made anything to mine since...


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## ToniMc (Jan 23, 2012)

Won't try to add to what the other knitters wrote, they pretty well covered it. I'll just say that I know the feeling and send my sympathy.


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## callmechicken (Oct 21, 2011)

Wally-the-bear said:


> Keep the socks for yourself and gift him a pair of tube-socks from the Dollar store.
> 
> 
> janedu said:
> ...


this one gets my vote.


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## GrannyGertig (Jun 14, 2012)

Ranji said:


> My hubby has this habit of not liking anything he is given for the first couple of days, then once he has used it, there is no getting him to put that item away!!!!


That is so my hubby, too!


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## SAMkewel (Mar 5, 2011)

Jessica-Jean said:


> vickest said:
> 
> 
> > wonderful colors are so much more pleasant to knit than charcoal gray.
> ...


I agree regarding the color; charcoal grey is almost as bad as black for hiding a pretty pattern. On the other hand, it was half a victory because she wears it!!!


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## SAMkewel (Mar 5, 2011)

Stephhy said:


> Juleen said:
> 
> 
> > LOL, perhaps your SIL is related to my ex-SIL? When I asked her to join me for lunch (hubby and I are both teachers), she looked me right in the eye and said, and I quote, "I live on a different social economic level than you do. I wouldn't be seen with you!". Last time I offered her anything especially anything home made!
> ...


Stepphy, very nicely said!


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## jconard (Feb 6, 2012)

I agree, a good idea! Knit or crochet for yourself...I know you will appreciate it! Good luck...

Judy


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## Elin (Sep 17, 2011)

Remember Men Are From Mars


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## gma11331 (Oct 18, 2011)

Jennifa said:
 

> Well at least he opened them a friend told me about her daughter-in-law who doesn't even both to open the gifts from her in-laws, what happened to manners?


That is the ultimate insult!


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## blavell (Mar 18, 2011)

I agree with the person who said "get him tube socks from the dollar store". I would never waste my time on making him anything. I also learned the hard way & I only make things for people who seem to appreciate what I make & charity knitting.


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## Colorado knits (Jul 6, 2011)

peachy51 said:


> Men! Can't live with 'em and can't shoot 'em :mrgreen:


Why the heck not???
:lol:


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## gmcmullen (Dec 29, 2011)

My husband is very direct with me as well and expresses his opinion very openly. Sometimes it stings a little, but I know better than to make him anything I know he won't wear. Why waste my time. I'm not knocking him. I do respect his opinion and his honesty.


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## tryalot (Apr 29, 2012)

query, why give gifts to people on Fathers day when they are not your father?


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## tryalot (Apr 29, 2012)

Colorado knits said:


> peachy51 said:
> 
> 
> > Men! Can't live with 'em and can't shoot 'em :mrgreen:
> ...


Think of all he knitting you could do in jail


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## prettyroses (Jan 18, 2011)

Juleen, what is the meaning of SYL?


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## Stephhy (May 14, 2012)

tryalot said:


> query, why give gifts to people on Fathers day when they are not your father?


I always thought it was because they were A father!


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## gma11331 (Oct 18, 2011)

Stephhy said:


> tryalot said:
> 
> 
> > query, why give gifts to people on Fathers day when they are not your father?
> ...


Then let the kids gift them.....


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## craftymatt2 (Sep 15, 2011)

MEN!!!!


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## knittingdragon (Jun 15, 2012)

I always thought it was because they are A father. In Thailand every guy gets a gift on December 5th which is officially theeir father's day. It is also the Kings birthday. I always give a father's day gift to my dad, my grandad, my uncles, because they were all dads and I loved them all. Unfortuntley they have all passed away, but I give gifts to my sons who have kids. Knitting Dragon
:thumbup:


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## Hohjocello (Jul 7, 2011)

Oh Dear!
Perhaps you should just knit the colorful socks for yourself and knit him a pair of duller colored ones "when you get around to it". When he sees how warm and toasty your feet are in your colorful socks, he'll perhaps have a change of heart. Good luck.



janedu said:


> Busy knitting sox for my hubby for Father's Day. Mother in law: "How are your sox coming?" in front of hubby. I told him, "This is your Father's Day gift. Do you like it?" He turned his nose up and said, "the color". Must have seen my face drop so added, "Well, I guess they'd be ok with jeans in the winter." This is only the third pr. of sox I've made and the most complicated. I was crushed but tried not to show it. Will prob finish the sock and see if it fits me as he has small ft. AUGH!!!


 :thumbup:


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## Hohjocello (Jul 7, 2011)

Oh Dear!
Perhaps you should just knit the colorful socks for yourself and knit him a pair of duller colored ones "when you get around to it". When he sees how warm and toasty your feet are in your colorful socks, he'll perhaps have a change of heart. Good luck.



janedu said:


> Busy knitting sox for my hubby for Father's Day. Mother in law: "How are your sox coming?" in front of hubby. I told him, "This is your Father's Day gift. Do you like it?" He turned his nose up and said, "the color". Must have seen my face drop so added, "Well, I guess they'd be ok with jeans in the winter." This is only the third pr. of sox I've made and the most complicated. I was crushed but tried not to show it. Will prob finish the sock and see if it fits me as he has small ft. AUGH!!!


 :thumbup:


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## christine4321 (Jun 10, 2012)

I would prefer that my husband tell me the truth. This way I don't spend hours upon hours making something else he would not wear. He may not have realized that his response would be hurtful as you did ask him if he liked them. It is too bad that he wasn't happy with the colour and I can understand how disappointing that must be as you were obviously putting a lot of work into it.


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## mommysparkles56 (Dec 15, 2011)

I too have felt this pain and it still hurts and I'm 56! I made an Afghan for my first love when I was 19 and had just learned to make granny squares. He had asked for it and picked the colors. When I wrapped it and gave it to him for his birthday he said it was ok but he didn't like the holes in it (inherent in a granny square). I was crushed! I married him but it only lasted two years as he turned out to be a cruel bas..... 
Funny how these dashed expectations stay with one for so long. Always make sure now of all aspects before making someone something!


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## MeeMee1010 (Oct 10, 2011)

Make this his last pair of knitted socks UNLESS he wears them proudly. My husband saw hats at Walmart for 70 cents each. He asked me why I was spending so much time knitting hats, when you could get one for that price. I told him he'd never get a hand knitted hat from me!


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## evesch (Apr 3, 2011)

janedu said:


> Busy knitting sox for my hubby for Father's Day. Mother in law: "How are your sox coming?" in front of hubby. I told him, "This is your Father's Day gift. Do you like it?" He turned his nose up and said, "the color". Must have seen my face drop so added, "Well, I guess they'd be ok with jeans in the winter." This is only the third pr. of sox I've made and the most complicated. I was crushed but tried not to show it. Will prob finish the sock and see if it fits me as he has small ft. AUGH!!!


I think one of the hardest things is picking colors and patterns for the men in our lives. Mine says make anything but does not wear what I make. He knows and appreciates and shows off my work but it almost always does not suit in some way or other......and he wonders why I don't make him things.......


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## christine4321 (Jun 10, 2012)

christine4321 said:


> I would prefer that my husband tell me the truth. This way I don't spend hours upon hours making something else he would not wear. He may not have realized that his response would be hurtful as you did ask him if he liked them. It is too bad that he wasn't happy with the colour and I can understand how disappointing that must be as you were obviously putting a lot of work into it.


lol Having said this, I mentioned the scenario to my husband and he thinks the fellow should have clammed up and worn the socks!


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## Colorado knits (Jul 6, 2011)

I think many of our husbands are cut from the same cloth. Unfortunately.

In the early years of our marriage, I sewed all the time and was very good at it (I no longer sew). My husband said he would never wear a home-made shirt. Well, that's throwing down the gauntlet, isn't it. When some of his shirts wore out, I cut out the labels. Later I made him two long-sleeve shirts and sewed in the store labels. I even made flat-felled seams. 

He never knew and I still have not told him. I felt smug every time he wore those shirts.


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## jobailey (Dec 22, 2011)

janedu said:


> Busy knitting sox for my hubby for Father's Day. Mother in law: "How are your sox coming?" in front of hubby. I told him, "This is your Father's Day gift. Do you like it?" He turned his nose up and said, "the color". Must have seen my face drop so added, "Well, I guess they'd be ok with jeans in the winter." This is only the third pr. of sox I've made and the most complicated. I was crushed but tried not to show it. Will prob finish the sock and see if it fits me as he has small ft. AUGH!!!


Don't give up! I once bought my DH a very colorful shirt. He was very skeptical about wearing it. Twenty (20) years later I can't get it off him!!!


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## Moon Loomer (Jul 18, 2011)

A friend's niece made him a pair of IN socks, ie the mismatched style. She did a sales job, showing him ads from the local Dept. store, touting that style. Now he uses them to De-stodgy some of his duller meetings. Ho Ho Hand made with love can be fun too. Moon Loomer PS Don't forget a complementary pair for you. Good walking together sox (Oh that is so Chicago) Have fun!


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## run4fittness (May 22, 2011)

After over 25 years of marriage I am still waiting for honest appreciation for some things I make. The first cardigan I made for him was a bit large and he was extremely negative about it. Now he loves it! He is able to really wrap himself up with it and keep warm in the winter since he is a lot more cold blooded than me!

So sorry your hubby was that way. Keep them for yourself!


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## run4fittness (May 22, 2011)

Colorado knits said:


> I think many of our husbands are cut from the same cloth. Unfortunately.
> 
> In the early years of our marriage, I sewed all the time and was very good at it (I no longer sew). My husband said he would never wear a home-made shirt. Well, that's throwing down the gauntlet, isn't it. When some of his shirts wore out, I cut out the labels. Later I made him two long-sleeve shirts and sewed in the store labels. I even made flat-felled seams.
> 
> He never knew and I still have not told him. I felt smug every time he wore those shirts.


Way to go! I used to sew also. Made dresses for my daughter and shirts for my son that were the same material. Sort of matching clothes. They always picked out the material so I knew they would like them!


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## nitnurse (May 20, 2012)

janedu said:


> Busy knitting sox for my hubby for Father's Day. Mother in law: "How are your sox coming?" in front of hubby. I told him, "This is your Father's Day gift. Do you like it?" He turned his nose up and said, "the color". Must have seen my face drop so added, "Well, I guess they'd be ok with jeans in the winter." This is only the third pr. of sox I've made and the most complicated. I was crushed but tried not to show it. Will prob finish the sock and see if it fits me as he has small ft. AUGH!!!


Oh Dear! There's gratitude for you! Sometimes we speak without thinking of the consequences, I am sure he feels rotten that he knocked the colour as you have obviously put a lot of effort into the socks. My husband is colour blind, so I could have gotten away with it by telling him they were brown and he would have believed me - ha ha! If he does not like the colour, just think, a pretty pair of socks for you - compensation indeed!


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## jillfaraday (Apr 23, 2012)

thank the lord i offloaded my ungrtateful husband and his socks!!


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## nitnurse (May 20, 2012)

jillfaraday said:


> thank the lord i offloaded my ungrtateful husband and his socks!!


Oh you are a shocker! Love it - good on you!


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## Daeanarah (May 7, 2012)

well you can donate them in his name...


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## Daeanarah (May 7, 2012)

Yeah I had a good sendoff of my ex...after divorce finalized, he showed up bragging about his new dog hair free, socks, pants, bragged about his gold nugget watch and gold nugget ring.
So then he turns to yell at me, of ruining his credit, ruining his life, etc.
I stared for a moment, yelling, "I didn't ruin your life. I just wouldn't allow you to control me." Then he started in on "MY" money. So then my dog Lion, american Eskimo Dog extraordinaire, sniffed around his feet, and then proceeded to pee all over those new shiny shoes, socks, and as the ex tried to grab him, peed on that gold nugget watch and ring.
I yelled at ex to leave lion alone. Then ex bragged about how successful he was to get me in a state (both figuratively, and literally), that everyone thinks I am lying on what he did to me, and that I am now cutoff from family, and he destroyed the few friends I have. 
So Lion went back to ex, and proceed to imitate that he was going to poop on those shoes. I laughed so hard, I said, well its obvious, you are interrupting his dinner and potty time. gee.


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## nitnurse (May 20, 2012)

SAMkewel said:


> Stephhy said:
> 
> 
> > Juleen said:
> ...


Sounds like both SIL's need to get over themselves! I would not waste my breath on them, let alone my precious knitting!


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## peachy51 (Feb 9, 2012)

Colorado knits said:


> peachy51 said:
> 
> 
> > Men! Can't live with 'em and can't shoot 'em :mrgreen:
> ...


Well, I guess you can at that ... if you want to spend the rest of your days with enough time to knit all the time, three meals a day, no housework, actually no work at all, and all the time you ever wanted for yourself, a roof over your head and the only worry is whether the neighbor in the cell next door is going to kick your a$$ and all at the expense of the taxpayer ... haha it actually doesn't sound so bad if you have a friend on the "outside" bringing you a steady supply of yarn! :mrgreen:


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## sbubbles84 (Jun 8, 2011)

I'm so sorry your feelings were hurt. I'm certain the socks were gorgeous! I'm sure he didn't mean to hurt your feelings--he tried to soften his words--but the damage was already done. I have the same problem with my darling husband--the kindest man in the world--but his taste and my taste in clothes are totally different. Anything I buy without consulting him or my son usually ends up in the darkest corners of the closet. The hats I've knitted and crocheted for him were patterns and yarn colors he chose. He will wear them. My son goes with me to shop for clothes for my husband if I want to surprise him. My husband will wear anything my son picks out--they have the same taste. Do you have any male that you can ask to help you choose colors and patterns for your husband if it is a surprise? Otherwise have him pick out the pattern and color if you still want to make him something. Sorry again you were hurt...
Hugs,
Shirley


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## m_azingrace (Mar 14, 2012)

I like to knit for gifts, and I think for all the time and effort required, it should be enough. But my husband always says "is that the only thing you're getting them?". To him, if it didn't come from a store, it's not good enough. To me, if it's something they cannot go out and buy for themselves, it's worth lots more than what the yarn cost (which in most cases is more than I'd have spent on a store-bought present). Why are people like that?


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## JoanH (Nov 29, 2011)

nitnurse said:


> SAMkewel said:
> 
> 
> > Stephhy said:
> ...


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## JoanH (Nov 29, 2011)

Colorado knits said:


> I think many of our husbands are cut from the same cloth. Unfortunately.
> 
> In the early years of our marriage, I sewed all the time and was very good at it (I no longer sew). My husband said he would never wear a home-made shirt. Well, that's throwing down the gauntlet, isn't it. When some of his shirts wore out, I cut out the labels. Later I made him two long-sleeve shirts and sewed in the store labels. I even made flat-felled seams.
> 
> He never knew and I still have not told him. I felt smug every time he wore those shirts.


Good for you!!.. Reminds me of my Gram when she was trying to get Gramps to loose weight and she put the diet stuff in the regular containers..he never knew!!!
I am fortunate with mine..he loves when I make him clothes. Made him 5? 6? pair of shorts for our vaca. And he LOVES his knitted slippers in the winter. And his felted gloves for snow blowing.


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## CathyAnn (May 14, 2011)

m_azingrace said:


> I like to knit for gifts, and I think for all the time and effort required, it should be enough. But my husband always says "is that the only thing you're getting them?". To him, if it didn't come from a store, it's not good enough. To me, if it's something they cannot go out and buy for themselves, it's worth lots more than what the yarn cost (which in most cases is more than I'd have spent on a store-bought present). Why are people like that?


A very good question! I think, at least in part, that they're ignorant, insensitive, clueless, and/or just don't care, depending on the person. I was raised to think handmade presents were the best because of the love and effort that went into them, and I'm thankful for that!

Possibly, it's related to being extremely materialistic too.


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## JoanH (Nov 29, 2011)

Stephhy said:


> Juleen said:
> 
> 
> > LOL, perhaps your SIL is related to my ex-SIL? When I asked her to join me for lunch (hubby and I are both teachers), she looked me right in the eye and said, and I quote, "I live on a different social economic level than you do. I wouldn't be seen with you!". Last time I offered her anything especially anything home made!
> ...


And also a jerk..really, she will be alone and lonely with that attitude...


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## Jessica-Jean (Mar 14, 2011)

JoanH said:


> Stephhy said:
> 
> 
> > Juleen said:
> ...


Unfortunately, she'll probably not be alone; she'll gravitate to others like herself - Birds of a feather do flock together. There are plenty of such shallowness.


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## JoanH (Nov 29, 2011)

Jessica-Jean said:


> JoanH said:
> 
> 
> > Stephhy said:
> ...


Unfortunately Sensei you are probably right...


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## Jessica-Jean (Mar 14, 2011)

GANDY said:


> Give that rascal just one sock. Put it in his sock drawer to remind him of his bad manners.


Now that's an idea even _better_ than giving dollar-store sox!


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## Rosieglow (Jun 5, 2012)

My hubby is so independent, buying or making him a present is impossible. I always send or drag him along to chose colour, size etc. Knitting him something definitely wouldn't work! Better make for yourself or friends.


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## Izzy10 (Apr 19, 2011)

My Nana used to always tell me "Always put brain into gear before engaging mouth" have tried to do this because as it has been said whatever words come out of your mouth can never be retracted, and they can be hurtful even if the person does not mean it the way it is said. Finish the socks and enjoy their warmth...


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## knittingdragon (Jun 15, 2012)

My mum always used to say "If you can't think of something nice to say don't say anything".
There's also the old saying "Do unto others....." She changed it slightly - "Say unto others as you would have them say unto you".


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

knittingdragon said:


> My mum always used to say "If you can't think of something nice to say don't say anything".
> There's also the old saying "Do unto others....." She changed it slightly - "Say unto others as you would have them say unto you".


If that fails, it's: Open mouth, insert foot!


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## Grandma C (Jun 14, 2011)

I agree that people often wish they could take back what they say. I too only knit for those I know will appreciate it. I become very emotional when a project isn't appreciated. My m.i.l. asked me a few times why I didn't make her a sweater; and I told her I probably couldn't please her with one, so I didn't do it. And I never did. Maybe he'll admire them on your feet.


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## katrago (Nov 30, 2011)

I also learned the hard way that people nowadays don't have an appreciation for the time, love and hard work it takes to give a gift you made. I had a friend ask me to knit her a stocking cap and then a scarf to match. When I brought them to her and said it would be $30.00 for the set, she refused the scarf saying she could get one at Target for $4.00. The yarn cost me around $20.00 by itself. Thankfully, another friend loved it and asked if she could buy it from me. People think our time and skill isn't worth much.


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## CathyAnn (May 14, 2011)

I sure most of us have noticed this -- you see someone when you're out, and what they are wearing looks "quality". Not Walmart, KMart or Target, but EXPENSIVE! That's what handmade items look like. I'm sure the hat and matching scarf has that look. $20.00 yarn will make the knitted item have that "look". The person who thought a $4.00 item at Target was just as good, well.... . :roll:


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## Marie Diane (Apr 12, 2012)

When I was a child, I used to watch my mother knitting socks for my grandfather, my father and my brother - all in regulation grey - no faddy wearers in wartime. I was fascinated watching Mum turn the heel and have enjoyed this maneouvre myself. I hope your husband will take heed of the restrictions on wool colours in wartime.


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## daralene (Feb 27, 2012)

I guess men are used to boring colors of brown and black for socks or white tube socks.


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## Bumble (Sep 7, 2011)

Oh dear! My sympathies indeed!


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## jconard (Feb 6, 2012)

I can't believe anyone would say things like that after seeing a handmade item. It can't be duplicated at Target's!!! Some people have no taste or talent! "Open mouth, insert foot!" If you EVER need to make something for someone, I am available. Fortunately, things I have made for others have been appreciated. My sister just mentioned an afgan I made for her years ago. She gets it out of her cedar chest every winter to snuggle up to...I don't even remember making her an afghan - it's been too many years for me to remember! But she is still using it! Love my sister!

Judy


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## MrsB (Jun 3, 2011)

Men can be so insensitive to women's arduous labors of love. Don't give him the socks and when he asks about them, tell him that since he didn't seem interested in them that you donated them to the veterans for soldiers overseas who need warm socks knit by loving patriots. And if he balks, tell him you don't want him to feel obliged to wear an item that he obviously wouldn't appreciate. Hold onto those socks for some time in the future when he matures to be an old man with blue feet that are freezing from poor ciruclation, cause I guarantee you, that day will come!


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## mmorris25 (Jan 20, 2011)

We all do this--Open Mouth--Insert foot! Don't give it another thought.


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## mmorris25 (Jan 20, 2011)

Central Prison in NC is a level 5. Nothing w/ sharp points and no yarn unless supervised.


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## MrsB (Jun 3, 2011)

I can sympathize with your husband being unable to wear wool as it irritates my skin so much I can't even be near it. the year my daughter was born, I began to knit her a double-breated Aran sweater in a rich, offwhite, creamy color. The sweater turned out beautifully and I started to dress her in it. No sooner had I got it buttoned up on her to take her picture, she pulled the sweater off, over her head and threw it on the floor, saying, "It's itchy!" and never wore it again. It now sits on her Teddy bear on her bed. Some wools just aren't made for sensitive skin.


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## gramm27 (Oct 22, 2011)

That would be the last pair of anything I made for him. The mother in law is insensitive (I have one just like yours) and really it didn't sound like he was excited about the socks. I'd keep them for myself too.


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## JoanH (Nov 29, 2011)

Jane did say MIL is 91.. and it seems if she was just innocently asking, how they were coming. Trust me my "DEAR MIL" can't remember S*&T (soory..but there really is no other best way to describe it) Oh wait she does remeber if I was late once to take her to Doc's (breath, slow deep breaths)..I digress. He is a twit though...He must know how long it takes you to knit those... and seriously.. I said it before the soldiers LOVE handmade socks..any color any KIND!!!


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## KEgan (Feb 15, 2012)

:lol: I agree. Some people just don't appreciate hand made things.


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## knittingdragon (Jun 15, 2012)

I do a lot of knitting for a crafters and produce market and use cheaper wool - $2.99 for a 100g ball. I have little tags on all of my creations saying "Lovingly handknitted by Sue". I have so many people comment about that little tag and ask how long it takes to knit one. I never tell them how long - I just say "a while, depends on many things". I have the patterns I mostly use down to pat so it doesn't take me a lot of time, but I'm not going to tell anyone that. The big selling point with my knitted toys is that they are all hand knitted, and I actually take knitting t the market with me so if it is quiet, I sit in front of everyone at my site and I knit. So people can see me in action (so to speak). Most people appreciate that most crafts take time and are prepared to pay for that time, but there are a few out there (one nationality in particular) who ask for half price discounts or Seniors special. I told one woman that I am a Senior and my knits are special so what you see is what you get. I used to have little beaded earrings on my stand that I sold for $2 a pair. One woman wanted to buy four pair - but only if I dropped them down to 50 cents a pair. I told her where to go.
With my knitted animals I have three different sizes and only because I knit the same patters with three different sized needles 2.75mm, 3.25mm and 3.75mm. I sell them for $10, $15 and $20 respectively. I tie a little ribbon around their necks and they look really cute. I do have some photos on both my mobile phne and my camera and when I get a chance I'll download them and send them across.


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## CathyAnn (May 14, 2011)

Wonderful! I'd love to see them! When I visit the Farmer's Market, I never dicker with the sellers because whatever they're asking I'll pay it if I want it enough, and that they're really not getting a whole lot for their effort!


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## PauletteB. (Feb 7, 2012)

It takes all kind to make this world. I pray your joy was in making the socks.


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## yvone (May 11, 2012)

like your letter.LOOKING FORWARD TO PICS.[I UNDERSTAND ABOUT THE "SCROUNGERS" [HAD LOADS]


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## ljack89 (Feb 22, 2011)

yes, this hurts the feelings of the knitter. Maybe when they are finished he will wear them once to be polite and decide they feel really good on his feet, and likes them after all!


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## fisherwoman (Feb 24, 2012)

I have only been knitting since March 1, but at a lys owned by a couple in their late 70's or 80's (the husband is a Master Knitter), they told me right off that I should 0NLY knit for MYSELF!

"Only knit for YOU they said" as no one will appreciate the knitting that you do but yourself.

It may ring true?. Currently I am making a 7 ft table runner in Basket Weave stitch with different colored stripes for my son and his wife for their dining room table. The cotton Berrocco Yarn cost $60.00, plus MY time! (I have only knitted 1 1/2 feet so far.

So my son visits me from Virginia, I show him the table runner and he remarks, "What if the cats walk on the dining room table and pull it with their claws??

OK, so what am I knocking myself out for? His comment led me to believe that it may remain 'stuck in a drawer' and only pulled out for occasional use when I expected it to be permanently on the table brightening up the dark room!

Go figure!

Fisherwoman


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## fisherwoman (Feb 24, 2012)

Yeah, my X- mother in law was a loose - lip. Always had an opinion that no one asked for.

A meddler by far, that could not keep her mouth shut and put in her two cents when it was not needed or wanted.

Another wards, a trouble maker and at 96 still alive and probably causing havoc!

Fisherwoman


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## Betty White (Feb 14, 2011)

MrsB said:


> Men can be so insensitive to women's arduous labors of love. Don't give him the socks and when he asks about them, tell him that since he didn't seem interested in them that you donated them to the veterans for soldiers overseas who need warm socks knit by loving patriots. And if he balks, tell him you don't want him to feel obliged to wear an item that he obviously wouldn't appreciate. Hold onto those socks for some time in the future when he matures to be an old man with blue feet that are freezing from poor ciruclation, cause I guarantee you, that day will come!


I LOVE your avatar. Is that cat real?
Betty


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## gotridge (Aug 3, 2011)

I sympathize with you. I have been working, for months, on a wrap for my daughter who will marry in September. Size 3 needles, lace cashmere yarn. I show it to my darling husband, who says, "How do you know she even wants one. What if she doesn't like it"...in a short tone? I wanted to cry. I calmly said, "I don't care if she uses it. That's not the point. I want her to have something from me that one day, when I'm gone, she can say my Mom made this for me". Men just don't think or feel like we do.


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

gotridge said:


> I sympathize with you. I have been working, for months, on a wrap for my daughter who will marry in September. Size 3 needles, lace cashmere yarn. I show it to my darling husband, who says, "How do you know she even wants one. What if she doesn't like it"...in a short tone? I wanted to cry. I calmly said, "I don't care if she uses it. That's not the point. I want her to have something from me that one day, when I'm gone, she can say my Mom made this for me". Men just don't think or feel like we do.


No, they don't. It's taken me a long time to accept that fact.


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## FrannyGrace (Dec 25, 2011)

The first cross stitch project I did I proudly showed my husband and he said (over 20 years ago but I remember it like it was yesterday) "Is that what it's supposed to look like?" When I said yes, he said "Well then I guess it looks good." I don't make anything for him and I don't show him my work. Now, I have to admit, when I finished my first Huggable Bear in fun fur he said it was the cutest bear he had ever seen--even though I hadn't officially showed it to him.


bonbf3 said:


> gotridge said:
> 
> 
> > I sympathize with you. I have been working, for months, on a wrap for my daughter who will marry in September. Size 3 needles, lace cashmere yarn. I show it to my darling husband, who says, "How do you know she even wants one. What if she doesn't like it"...in a short tone? I wanted to cry. I calmly said, "I don't care if she uses it. That's not the point. I want her to have something from me that one day, when I'm gone, she can say my Mom made this for me". Men just don't think or feel like we do.
> ...


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## RachelL (Dec 18, 2011)

Jessica-Jean said:


> Been there. I feel your pain. In my case, my husband is the smaller of us, so the sweater I made for him could never fit me.
> He asked for it. He selected the yarn, sweater pattern, stitch pattern. He submitted to trying it on as it progressed.
> When I handed the completely finished sweater to him, he put it on, and took it off immediately. Then he handed it to me saying I should take it apart and make it just a tad larger!
> Luckily, my youngest sister is the exact size to fill his sweater. That was early in our marriage - 40 years ago. He has never ceased wishing for a sweater from my needles. Hell will probably freeze over before _that_ happens!
> ...


Rejection is very difficult to deal with. I learned just recently that forgiving those who caused me pain was the key to my wounds being healed. Forgiving does not necessarily mean forgetting. I can't pretend something hasn't happened when it did, but forgiving makes me free from anger, bitterness and pain. All these negative things kept me from growing and moving on. And in forgiving, most of my stress is gone as are my daily migraines. A win/win situation for me.


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## knittingdragon (Jun 15, 2012)

You could always put it under glass then the cats claws won't pull it. Also cats can be trained not to climb and walk on tables.
I love knitting for people - the looks on their faces (especially those buying my knitted stuffed toys - both adults and children) is precious.


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## azkate (Jun 10, 2012)

Too bad some people don't appreciate the gift or the work to do it....just hang in there.... :!:


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

RachelL said:


> Jessica-Jean said:
> 
> 
> > Been there. I feel your pain. In my case, my husband is the smaller of us, so the sweater I made for him could never fit me.
> ...


I'm glad for you, RachelL. Forgiveness frees the forgiver and the forgiven. It's still very hard. I had a bad experience once, and every day when I prayed, I prayed for the person who had hurt me (professionally and personally). Very soon I felt myself soften in my feelings toward her. About two years after the incident, she came to me in tears, apologized and said that she was "trying to get right with God." She said didn't expect me to forgive her. I told her that of course, I forgave her. We've had a very strong bond ever since. It sometimes seems impossible, and it takes time, but it's worth it.


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## fisherwoman (Feb 24, 2012)

I've tried that but it did not work for me! Still angry at the person that did me wrong!

HOW can you forgive wrongness?

Fisherwoman


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## gotridge (Aug 3, 2011)

fisherwoman said:


> I've tried that but it did not work for me! Still angry at the person that did me wrong!
> 
> HOW can you forgive wrongness?
> 
> Fisherwoman


Forgive the sinner but not the sin.


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## Dsynr (Jun 3, 2011)

You might think a minute about your own lapses. Someone very wise once advised to take the beam out of our own eye before we tried to address the speck in someone else's. 


fisherwoman said:


> I've tried that but it did not work for me! Still angry at the person that did me wrong!
> 
> HOW can you forgive wrongness?
> 
> Fisherwoman


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## RachelL (Dec 18, 2011)

bonbf3 said:


> RachelL said:
> 
> 
> > Jessica-Jean said:
> ...


My husband and I are separated 15+ years. Shortly after we separated I learned from my DD he had betrayed me in ways I never dreamed about. When I got back to my apt, the devastation hit me all over again and I didn't know how I was going to deal with this blow. Then I heard God's voice telling me "Nothing has happened to you that is unforgiveable" and I stopped crying and started asking Him for strength to forgive and over time, I was able to do that. I've learned it's not good to tell people that I forgive them, that only adds fuel to the fire. I now say "I'm sorry for whatever I said or did that caused you to be angry with me". It shifts the blame and my responsibility in the broken relationship is dealt with. And I know the Lord of my life is pleased. Blessings to you, my friend. Rachel


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

fisherwoman said:


> I've tried that but it did not work for me! Still angry at the person that did me wrong!
> 
> HOW can you forgive wrongness?
> 
> Fisherwoman


I heard once that forgiveness is a process. It's gradual, I think. It's pretty hard to forgive all at once, especially if you know the other person was wrong. Time helps. As good things happen, they replace or at least minimize the bad time.


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## CathyAnn (May 14, 2011)

fisherwoman said:


> I've tried that but it did not work for me! Still angry at the person that did me wrong!
> 
> HOW can you forgive wrongness?
> 
> Fisherwoman


For me, the point for forgiveness is letting the anger and resentment go. It doesn't hurt the other person, only me. Forgiveness certainly doesn't mean to forget. When someone says or does something hurtful, it says something about THEM, not necessarily us. However, I've learned that I should always turn the criticism to myself and see if I did something to contribute to what happened, or if I've done something hurtful to someone else, even inadvertently. Then, I see it all more objectively if I try to be honest with myself, and I can say, "Yes, I've done/said hurtful things too, maybe not in the same way, but I have." That helps me to let the anger and resentment go.

If someone has done something especially nasty to me, deliberately, then I just avoid that person, but I don't want to carry the negativity around. It just weighs me down.


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## PatriciaDF (Jan 29, 2011)

I had a similar experience years ago. It's not only with knitted items. I used to sew professionally and still had people make cruel remarks about things being "homemade". Well, I figure it's their loss. I now only knit or sew or bake or whatever for those who really appreciate all the work that goes into these projects. Some people just have never learned the old saying - "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything!"


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## nifty needles (May 30, 2012)

As my wise father used to say - Rise above it -
It is the other persons karma. If you get entangled in the bad feeling it becomes yours also.
Creative people like us know the happiness that comes from making something with our hands and we are the lucky ones.


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## fisherwoman (Feb 24, 2012)

I'm with you!

Fisherwoman


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## Dohuga (Nov 26, 2011)

I sympathize. Everyone loves the socks I knit EXCEPT my husband. He actually only appreciates what comes from a store, even Walmart. I believe there are many people for whom "home made" somehow equals "inferior."


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## jeanaz (Jun 7, 2012)

My Mother and Father went thru the depression, so they kept all gifts in drawers. When my Mother died I found several bottles of cologne and broaches, ect tucked away. My Father also. There was one sweater that my Mom wore completely out but all other gifts were lovingly put up even gloves. So If a parent saves your gifts instead of using or wearing them it might be out of love. Not because they don't appreciate them.


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

jeanaz said:


> My Mother and Father went thru the depression, so they kept all gifts in drawers. When my Mother died I found several bottles of cologne and broaches, ect tucked away. My Father also. There was one sweater that my Mom wore completely out but all other gifts were lovingly put up even gloves. So If a parent saves your gifts instead of using or wearing them it might be out of love. Not because they don't appreciate them.


Yes, I agree with you.


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## gerry (Jan 19, 2011)

Just give him the socks with a little note saying that when he wears them to always think of you and the love you put into them.


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## Hohjocello (Jul 7, 2011)

This reminds me of my grandma. She would oh and ah over gifts we bought her and then carefully put them away. When one of my aunts asked why she wasn't using her new tea kettle instead of heating up water in an old cook pot, she replied with her limited English, "Save for good!" Well, she got that tea kettle out when I graduated from HS, so I guess that was "good". Truly, folks who lived during the depression have frugality embedded in their minds and I think they savor those "for good" moments, so that's why they save rather than use the gifts they receive.


jeanaz said:


> My Mother and Father went thru the depression, so they kept all gifts in drawers. When my Mother died I found several bottles of cologne and broaches, ect tucked away. My Father also. There was one sweater that my Mom wore completely out but all other gifts were lovingly put up even gloves. So If a parent saves your gifts instead of using or wearing them it might be out of love. Not because they don't appreciate them.


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## realsilvergirl (Nov 13, 2011)

You could stuff it in his mouth if he sticks his foot in his mouth again...


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## ljack89 (Feb 22, 2011)

Sounds like my grandma! She would put away the gifts of towels and pillowcases and things like that, to use for "company". I used to think it was silly when I was little, and a teenager. but the folks from the depression era were very carefull to take care of everything they had, and not use the new till they had to.


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## peachy51 (Feb 9, 2012)

ljack89 said:


> Sounds like my grandma! She would put away the gifts of towels and pillowcases and things like that, to use for "company". I used to think it was silly when I was little, and a teenager. but the folks from the depression era were very carefull to take care of everything they had, and not use the new till they had to.


I think you are so right about the depression era people taking care. My mom had many pretty gowns and pj sets in her drawers that she wouldn't wear because "if I have to go to the hospital, I will have nice to wear there."

Well, when she did have to go to the hospital in her later years (cancer) she quickly learned that those pretty gowns and pj's were not practical in the hospital because the hospital gowns with the snapped shoulders were much more conducive to working around IV's and such.

She did start wearing them at home after that.

My philosophy is that if I've got it, I'm going to use it! :thumbup:


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## nifty needles (May 30, 2012)

YES! Live in the present and enjoy it to the max. Yesterday is gone, tomorrow, who knows?


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## Dsynr (Jun 3, 2011)

Johna said:


> I have made several things for my husband - sewed shirts, embroidered on shirts etc. When he saw me knitting (in the process of learning), my husband said "Is that for me"?
> Thank God I have such a wonderful husband. He never remembers my birthday, but such is life.


 Yeah, Johna---Thank God for Big Guys like ours with their Humongous hearts and sweet ways!
When we were newlyweds, I embroidered a ready-made shirt with cowboy motifs. He wore it so much I had to "borrow" it to get it into the wash. 
I made him a blanket [I wanted to learn the "Log Cabin" style. It was beyond my skill at the time, so I frogged it and crocheted a striped one with sc, dc, as the pattern to give it texture.] 
It's been his "blankie" ever since. I have to almost put a gun to his head to get it away from him to wash. I have to rethink his hoodie. Maybe it was not such a good idea to make it of an off-white yarn.
I'm glad his Grandmom and Mom and sisters crocheted. He has an appreciation of handwork.


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## Dsynr (Jun 3, 2011)

nd sometimes from places farther and HOTTER than that!
Just sayin.......


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## Juleen (Jun 3, 2011)

I agree---those who lived through the great depression were left with scars. My wonderful FIL refused to buy shoes unless they were used. He had plenty of money but I think he was worried about ever not having enough.


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## jjane139 (Mar 16, 2011)

I am of that era and grew up hearing about my mother's frugalities and self-denial that she had to exercise just to survive. In addition to the fear of not having enough and the fear that if something is misused and ruined, it cannot be replaced, there is the principle of not wasting anything. No matter how much money one has, nothing should be wasted, not money, not food, not water, not clothes' or cars' usefulness, not even time. The principle is rather abstract, but when practiced with everything from saving the water the pasta was boiled in, to servicing the car on a strict schedule, waste is bad and the temptation to allow it must never be given in to. Living with this principle always in mind results in some very tidy sums in the savings account!


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## Rhonda-may (Feb 15, 2012)

There socks what does it matter what colour they are, they were made with love especially for him and he should appreciate the time and effort you put into making them. If it was my husband I'd give the socks to someone who would appreciate them and give him a pair of cheapest socks in the colour he likes and let him complain about how cold his feet are.


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## junel (May 5, 2012)

Maybe some of them should go back where they came from.


Elin said:


> Remember Men Are From Mars


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## Hohjocello (Jul 7, 2011)

HI Jane,
I agree with you. If more people practiced thrift in their daily lives, the economy wouldn't be such a mess!



jjane139 said:


> I am of that era and grew up hearing about my mother's frugalities and self-denial that she had to exercise just to survive. In addition to the fear of not having enough and the fear that if something is misused and ruined, it cannot be replaced, there is the principle of not wasting anything. No matter how much money one has, nothing should be wasted, not money, not food, not water, not clothes' or cars' usefulness, not even time. The principle is rather abstract, but when practiced with everything from saving the water the pasta was boiled in, to servicing the car on a strict schedule, waste is bad and the temptation to allow it must never be given in to. Living with this principle always in mind results in some very tidy sums in the savings account!


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## freckles (May 21, 2011)

Unfortunately, there are many families practising "thrift" from necessity, not by choice. Believe me, they have no savings. I don't for a minute believe they are the cause of the economy situation.



Hohjocello said:


> HI Jane,
> I agree with you. If more people practiced thrift in their daily lives, the economy wouldn't be such a mess!
> 
> 
> ...


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## Hohjocello (Jul 7, 2011)

Of course these good people aren't the cause of the downward shift in the economy....It's the big spenders that buy without having the $$$ up front! If everyone were frugal, we would'nt have such big sums of debt!



freckles said:


> Unfortunately, there are many families practising "thrift" from necessity, not by choice. Believe me, they have no savings. I don't for a minute believe they are the cause of the economy situation.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


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## iShirl (Jun 30, 2012)

You get my sympathy since it was the first time you ran into this situation. Time to learn from what you can't change. As yourmother306 commented, I also turned to knitting for charity. I get a sweet thank you from the volunteers and I KNOW the items will be appreciated. {and if they are not, I won't know!! LOL}


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## Juleen (Jun 3, 2011)

Freckles--I agree! For many years my hubby and I struggled for everything! We were both teachers with no medical insurance and low salaries. I had two 
c-sections with no medical and our family doctor was wonderful about letting us pay a little each month for seeing our kids. On the other hand, now that we have a little bit more, we truly appreciate every extra cent we have.


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