# How do you feel about shawls?



## LadyLibrarian (Oct 7, 2011)

I love to knit prayer shawls. I have some shawls but don't wear them b/c a lady at my church keeps telling me they are for old people and laughs cause I bought one. She is 84 so don't know when she will think she is old. 
I believe I know how everyone here feels about them they are lovely. I need some feedback on some "nice" comebacks for her..


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## Knitress (Feb 14, 2012)

Tell her, "I guess it takes one to know one."


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## Tennessee.Gal (Mar 11, 2012)

LadyLibrarian said:


> I love to knit prayer shawls. I have some shawls but don't wear them b/c a lady at my church keeps telling me they are for old people and laughs cause I bought one. She is 84 so don't know when she will think she is old.
> I believe I know how everyone here feels about them they are lovely. I need some feedback on some "nice" comebacks for her..


We-ell, I can think of a few but they aren't nice. I'll PM you because I'm a big coward, don't want to get flamed.

I love to knit prayer shawls too. My church has just re-started their PS ministry. I've made 2 shawls and am working on a lap blanket.

If you want to wear a shawl, go ahead. It's none of anyone's business what you wear.


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## Dreamweaver (Feb 1, 2011)

"Really? I always associate them with elegance. (class, luxury... you pick)"

Really? I must tell the ____________ GD's, college crowd... Daughter,,, etc. etc... you fill in the blank. 

"I'm old, and proud of it!!!! Took a lot of living to make it this far....." 

Raise your eyebrow and, with a big question in voice say "Your point?"


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## Grandma Jan (Apr 6, 2011)

Dreamweaver, I just love you! You always make the coolest comments/observations.


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## JoyceLofton (Feb 17, 2012)

LadyLibrarian said:


> I love to knit prayer shawls. I have some shawls but don't wear them b/c a lady at my church keeps telling me they are for old people and laughs cause I bought one. She is 84 so don't know when she will think she is old.
> I believe I know how everyone here feels about them they are lovely. I need some feedback on some "nice" comebacks for her..


I'm always see that people are knitting prayer shawls. I'm wondering exactly what they are-a nice shawl that you wear to church??


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## AvonelleRed (Jun 29, 2011)

You need to just worry about pleasing yourself.

When she laughs at you, just remember - only people insecure with themselves will laugh at someone else's choices of clothing.

Tell her they're all the rage, and offer to knit one for her.


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## ladysjk (Dec 16, 2011)

Good job Dreamweaver..I would just say They ARE, well then where is yours?


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## Dreamweaver (Feb 1, 2011)

*Grandma Jan* Thank you.... Never *did* learn to keep my mouth shut!!!

*ladysjk* Good one.......


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## lvsroses (Feb 21, 2012)

Wear it with pride. Someone said a lot of prayers and took a lot time to create something of beauty that only God knew you would purchase. She has no idea what she is saying....I hope it gives you much comfort.


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## grandmann (Feb 4, 2011)

I can't believe that they are selling prayer shawls.

Prayer shawls are shawls that are knitted or crocheted while you are making them you are praying for that particular person.


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## sweetsue (Aug 12, 2011)

A prayer shawl can be any shawl - but normally the knitter prays for the receiver and then passes the shawl on. You may be interested in this link:
http://www.shawlministry.com/instructions.html



JoyceLofton said:


> LadyLibrarian said:
> 
> 
> > I love to knit prayer shawls. I have some shawls but don't wear them b/c a lady at my church keeps telling me they are for old people and laughs cause I bought one. She is 84 so don't know when she will think she is old.
> ...


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## lvsroses (Feb 21, 2012)

I would never take money for one as mine usually end up with some very close friend or relative, but some one may need a tad of help to establish a stash for her shawls. If someone just randomly wants one then I may think of charging.


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## JoyceLofton (Feb 17, 2012)

sweetsue said:


> A prayer shawl can be any shawl - but normally the knitter prays for the receiver and then passes the shawl on. You may be interested in this link:
> http://www.shawlministry.com/instructions.html
> 
> 
> ...


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## leftymommom (Feb 23, 2012)

She probably likes your shawls and wants one. For some strange reason, she would probably appreciate you giving her a shawl off your back more than if you knitted a shawl just for her. I guess it has to do with envy or jealousy. The next time you wear your shawl, wear one that you can part with, and if she make a sarcastic remark, Bless her with that same shawl and watch her become Humble! and very appreciative.


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## black kitty (Sep 23, 2011)

What I wear is my own choice. If I like it and am comfortable in it that's good enough. My husband has learned that. I allow him the same option. I can't imagine telling him what to wear. I think there are some rules like not showing too much skin (especially if you don't have a good figure ) or not wearing things that are dirty and not in good repair. Those rules are very simple and basic. After complying with them I think what you wear is up to you. I have many pretty shawls. I wear them and I get compliments on them. Ignore any further comments. Be her friend and treat her as if she never said anything to you at all. Change the subject to something pleasanter, joke about your age etc.


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## kiwiannie (Jul 30, 2011)

Shawls may have been for grannies once but the have been worn by anyone since the 1970's,and they are very popular.


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## Aud36 (Aug 20, 2011)

I live in the UK and shawls don't seem to be as popular here as in the US infact I don't know anyone in my knitting circle who has worn or knitted one


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## Aud36 (Aug 20, 2011)

I live in the UK and shawls don't seem to be as popular here as in the US infact I don't know anyone in my knitting circle who has worn or knitted one


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## Aud36 (Aug 20, 2011)

I live in the UK and shawls don't seem to be as popular here as in the US infact I don't know anyone in my knitting circle who has worn or knitted one

oooppps sorry bout that


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## BobnDejasMom (Jun 2, 2011)

grandmann said:


> I can't believe that they are selling prayer shawls.
> 
> Prayer shawls are shawls that are knitted or crocheted while you are making them you are praying for that particular person.


I know what you mean, but eventually they have to end up somewhere. I would rather see someone enjoying them than ending up in storage forever... or thrown away.

Tell the lady you will get her one when she gets old.


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## WolfDreamer (Mar 22, 2011)

You know... it really doesn't matter what anyone ELSE thinks. If you want to wear a shawl, then wear it. I am 48 and I have been wearing shawls most of my life. It doesn't make ME old 

In fact, Stevie Nicks, lead singer and rock diva, from Fleetwood Mac... she wore a different shawl every show (and still does). In fact, she's FAMOUS for her shawls. (just do a quick google for 'stevie nicks shawls') 

She was young, hot, popular and a rocker..but she still wore a different shawl every show...and some of the shawls she wore have inspired some the loveliest knit and crochet shawl patterns you can find.

True 'FASHION' is all about what you want to wear, what you're comfortable wearing and what makes YOU happy.

My gramma used to tell me to stop following the paths that others have made ... but get out my mental machete and hack my own path through the woods. 

I'm still swinging that machete, Gramma!


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## headvase1 (Nov 18, 2011)

I agree with dreamweaver she always knows what to say to make a good point.


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## LynneA (Oct 2, 2011)

Why do you want to have a comeback? It's her opinion. You like shawls; show it by wearing yours. And continue to knit them.


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## Cookie_Sue (May 23, 2011)

Prayer shawls are great when getting chemo. They do not obstruct the port and no matter how many "warmed" blankets, nothing keeps you as warm as a hand made shawl. They are the best - a hug from someone that thought enough about you to make something special during your time of need.


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## Granalou (Aug 11, 2011)

Shawls are fashionable and practical. I keep one or two in the car and take it into restaurants, theaters etc with me. Here in Florida the air conditioning in these places can be very chilly. I get stopped many times by people who compliment me and say what a good idea, they are always cold in the air also.


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## nuclearfinz (Feb 23, 2011)

If you call them wraps, I like them, call them shawls and I have to agree with the 84 year old, they are for old people .


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## FaeCross (Dec 2, 2011)

I do living history as well as knit.

Shawls have been warn by anyone wanting warm shoulders or neck down through the ages. For some time they were a standard part of your clothing (you were considered not properly dressed with out it)

I have been collecting them and wearing them since I was in grade school. Only recently did I start making them myself. It adds a whole new depth to my love of shawls.


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## Debiknit (Jul 7, 2011)

Tell her they are coming back in style. They are pretty and comfortable. Easy on and easy off. Unlike sweaters.


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## Gail9 (Mar 4, 2011)

What do you care She is not a knitter. I have seen shawls in church and they are getting out in public more and more.There are plenty of shawls out there but not knitted. My daughter is taking s silver one with her to a wedding on the 18 hole at a club by the ocean. Hilton Head ,the wind can come off the water and be chilly. She has not looked at fashion lately.


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## Lynda from Watford (Nov 15, 2011)

Shawls, wraps, pashminas - who cares?!?!?!?

I'm 63, English and a proud shawl wearer - light ones in the summer, warm ones in the winter. And so do my 32 year old daughter and several of her friends. I get compliments from all ages and after knitting one for my daughter last Christmas, all the young guys in her office asked for ones for their partners plus the only other girl who works there wanted one and she's in her 20s. I got lovely thank you notes from them all. The main thing I like about them is that they are so much more dressy for evening wear - smarter than a cardigan or coat. And who cares what other people think. And I love knitting them. If you want to do something and it doesn't hurt anyone else, do it - that's my credo.


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## Janneylynn (Dec 9, 2011)

LadyLibrarian said:


> I love to knit prayer shawls. I have some shawls but don't wear them b/c a lady at my church keeps telling me they are for old people and laughs cause I bought one. She is 84 so don't know when she will think she is old.
> I believe I know how everyone here feels about them they are lovely. I need some feedback on some "nice" comebacks for her..


I think at 84yr she hasn't kept up. Shawls have made a comeback. Especially the lacier ones you can wear in the evening to a restaurant, or evening out. Very elegant. She's probably thinking the more wearable "afghan" type. Wraps, shrugs and shawls have come a long way since her days of wearing them and so has the gorgeous yarns they are made with today.


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## MGT (Oct 6, 2011)

To the youth of her generation, shawls were worn by old, wizened grannies sitting in a rocker in the corner. I'd guess she doesn't want to be like that and keeps to her idea of "youthful", not realizing the shawl has a new look. And she may have her own version of old, which is getting to say whatever she d&$n well pleases!


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## damemary (Mar 14, 2012)

Oh really? They are quite the trend now and so comforting. And everyone can use a prayer, yes?


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## Windbeam (Jul 31, 2011)

I have made four and decided last week to wear one to church! Who would have to nerve to say it makes you look old?? And in church. I am old and proud of it!! Maybe if we all do it , it will start a new trend!


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## yellowrose741 (Mar 3, 2011)

I think that we sometimes spend too much of our time trying to think of cutting come-backs to what other say to us. Personally, I would just smile and wear my shawl and thank others as you receive your compliments. We don't have to recognize or give acknowledgement to rudeness. You go girl.


LadyLibrarian said:


> I love to knit prayer shawls. I have some shawls but don't wear them b/c a lady at my church keeps telling me they are for old people and laughs cause I bought one. She is 84 so don't know when she will think she is old.
> I believe I know how everyone here feels about them they are lovely. I need some feedback on some "nice" comebacks for her..


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## ParkerEliz (Mar 21, 2011)

I am over 50, and my 70+ mom wants nothing to w/ a shawl. She also thinks they are just for old people! I guess old impressions really get ingrained in our heads.


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## Knitter forever (Dec 11, 2011)

I make prayer shawls,they are for sick people. I also make shawls just to wear. Tell her you will make her one when she reaches 100 Yrs.old.


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## thegrape (Nov 11, 2011)

If I'm cold I'll wear one. After being inspired by all the beautiful shawls I've seen here on KP I only think of them as works of art!


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## jemima (Mar 26, 2011)

Wear what ever you feel comfortable with.Shawls are very pretty.


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## R-honda (Apr 8, 2012)

I love to make shawls, but don't wear them. I am not into triangle shaped ones, just what I guess you would consider "wraps". Kinda like a big, wide scarf! Really like the light, lacy ones. Make a pretty one for your church lady and see what she has to say then!


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## Marstamper (Oct 25, 2011)

Tell her "what do you mean they are for old folks? I suppose us younger generates have realized just how beautiful they are, because they sure are popular now."


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## calmlake (May 16, 2011)

Lady Librarian, 

She's 84. Will she ever like shawls? Who knows. 
Many 84-year-olds are warm an bubbly, and the room quietens so we can hear them. Tell her that she's missing the warmth around her shoulders. I started wearing them 2 years ago, (kind of late). They're fun and they can dress up or down an occasion. Wear 1 today, ok?


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## caloughner (Oct 3, 2011)

I also can't believe prayer shawls are sold. My church knitting group keeps a stash for the minister or anyone can access to give to folks in need. We also have a peace shawl ministry that we knit/crochet for. Even the men love them and even wrap themselves up at church.


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## patocenizo (Jun 24, 2011)

I love shawls, I have seen them on very youg women and they look stunning. The Duchess of Cambridge wears them all the time ...so there!!!


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## Schoeneckwren (Apr 11, 2011)

I've loved shawls all my life. When I was in grade school, my mother crocheted me a poncho and I lived in it. Before I "learned" about shawls, I thought nothing about putting a blanket around my shoulders and walking around the house pretending to be a princess or a bride. As i got older, I started to look for long wide scarves to throw over my shoulders on a chilly evening. Now I own several of them and make them for my friends who need a little prayer. . . I can imagine God and me giving the person a hug while I imagine her wearing it. 

I'd tell your friend that you appreciate her commments but you like your shawls and she can opt to wear or not to wear whatever she wishes.


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## laumeucrafts (Apr 12, 2012)

I myself am 49 years old, and work in a professional office. You could tell her that they are the trendiest, must have office clothing accessory right at the moment!


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## jonibee (Nov 3, 2011)

I personally do not own or wear them..I feel the same about capes. If you like them wear them, do not let others views become yours .


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## Cindylu (Nov 6, 2011)

Tell her -- yes they are for old people -- would you like me to make you one ? She may be 84 but that doesn't give you the right to be rude !!


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## Lishaknits (Dec 1, 2011)

Sounds to me like she needs one. Knit her one and pray she won't judge others.


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## farmgirl (Jul 19, 2011)

Why should you care about this insensitive woman? 84 and she still doesn't practice basic good manners? I'm 42 and one of my favorite things to wrap up in when I am a bit under the weather is a shawl that I knit. Wear your shawl and if this woman says anything kindly inform her that you love it end of story. I would also mention that you are sure her mother once told her if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all.
I have zero tolerance for rudeness.


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## Tennessee.Gal (Mar 11, 2012)

caloughner said:


> I also can't believe prayer shawls are sold. My church knitting group keeps a stash for the minister or anyone can access to give to folks in need. We also have a peace shawl ministry that we knit/crochet for. Even the men love them and even wrap themselves up at church.


I think that might have been a typo -- she said "bought" when she meant to say "brought" -- as in bringing a shawl to church.


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## PattySH (Apr 18, 2012)

I think I'd just tell her that they're really in style right now and a great way to show off my knitting skills, let alone keep my shoulders warm without a big bulky coat. Also ask her if she wants you to make her one!


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## Daisybee (Jul 26, 2011)

It's strange that this subject came up as I was thinking about writing on the same subject. When I was a young child in the 1920's, shawls were worn by poor people to wrap themselves and their baby in for ease of carrying as they could not afford a pram. As an adult I have never seen anyone wear one which is a pity as there are so many really beautiful ones out there. It seems they are mostly worn in warmer areas to stave off the chilly nights. Changed days indeed.


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## pulitz22 (Feb 25, 2012)

Lishaknits said:


> Sounds to me like she needs one. Knit her one and pray she won't judge others.


What a beautiful response, Lishaknits. I have loved shawls since I knitted EZ's Pie R Square years and years ago. I've received nothing but compliments on it ever since. Even the plainest shawl like EZ's is so feminine, and makes me feel somehow in solidarity with women throughout the ages. Peasants in the middle ages wore shawls in thatched roof cottages, and aristocratic women wore their silks in palaces. Shawls were worn while digging potatoes and worn to royal courts. Shawls have been a symbol of the dignity and strength of women throughout the ages, and when I wrap myself in one, I somehow feel that strength. Bonnie


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## DonnieK (Nov 23, 2011)

I would not say anything. I would be like I imagine Jesus would be and just smile and walk away. Afterall, you are not going to change her mind, and snippy come backs are probably going to go right over her head. Best to just let it pass and not "egg" it on.

If you like them and enjoy wearing them, that is really all that matters.

I would wear mine with pride and not worry what others think. I would rather see a shawl on someone than to have to watch all these women wearing tshirts with all the fat hanging out, or see a man's behind because his pants don't fit him. I would be much more offended by that than a shawl.


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## Ms Sue P (Mar 19, 2011)

In my opinion Shaws are awesome and just as soon as I can I will be knitting one for myself. I figure myself as somewhat old. Just past the middle age by some years. 
Wear your shaw with pride and tell her to mind her own business.


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## christine flo (Apr 11, 2011)

my little grandaughters love wearing them.so they do not have to wear a coat and nice for being in the car


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## msusanc (Apr 5, 2011)

Tennessee.Gal said:


> LadyLibrarian said:
> 
> 
> > I love to knit prayer shawls. I have some shawls but don't wear them b/c a lady at my church keeps telling me they are for old people and laughs cause I bought one. She is 84 so don't know when she will think she is old.
> ...


Don't forget -- she's in church. :lol: I agree with Dreamweaver, just wish I could afford more elegance now that we are retired. I always forget to wear them to church.


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## frannie di (Nov 30, 2011)

grandmann said:


> I can't believe that they are selling prayer shawls.
> 
> Prayer shawls are shawls that are knitted or crocheted while you are making them you are praying for that particular person.


LadyLibrarian is knitting these herself. She is not buying them. I think we now associate all shawls as prayer shawls and that is not the case. A shawl is a shawl and the end products purpose in some cases makes it a prayer shawl.


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## Sherry1 (May 14, 2011)

Grandma Jan said:


> Dreamweaver, I just love you! You always make the coolest comments/observations.


Ditto!


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## lawrencji (Nov 4, 2011)

Must be the gypsy in me, I just think they're beautiful.


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## Myrle (Mar 15, 2012)

I agree with DonnieK and Black Kitty. Just ignore it and forgive her. She may be lonely and trying to connect with you, by saying something, not realising that it is a tactless comment, she may think she is being funny! Just be her friend and love and pray for her, and maybe she would appreciate you making a shawl for her if you feel so inclined.


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## Sherry1 (May 14, 2011)

I was given 2 when I started chemo ( just finished yesterday). One shawl is more utilitarian and I wear it in the morning and evenings when the house is cool. The other is perfectly ME and I plan to wear it out spring, summer and fall.
I appreciate the fact that the people who made these for me had me in their thoughts and prayers through the entire project. How good is that!


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## Nanimal (Dec 14, 2011)

I love shawls. I wear them when I just need that little extra for added comfort in cold weather. 

As for them being just for old people, well, I highly doubt it.
I've seen many women wear them, and they were a fashion accessory.

When she says it again, smile and ask her if she would like one. It might be her way of trying to get you to knit one for her, or she might just be trying to joke about not being old at her age.


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## Knitlady999 (Jul 1, 2011)

"Some people would rather pick the pedals off a lovely flower, instead of admiring it."
Was sad to read that you don't wear your shawls. I think god is pleased that: first you acknowledge him, and you are passing this blessing on to others for wamth, encouragement, etc.
Remember to remind all, that handmake shawls are the latest rage in fashion. Everyone, even the young are wearing them.



LadyLibrarian said:


> I love to knit prayer shawls. I have some shawls but don't wear them b/c a lady at my church keeps telling me they are for old people and laughs cause I bought one. She is 84 so don't know when she will think she is old.
> I believe I know how everyone here feels about them they are lovely. I need some feedback on some "nice" comebacks for her..


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## elenapicado (Mar 18, 2012)

They're not only a fashion statement that has lasted for millenia, they are a creative force and visual proof of caring and love. So there.


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## KnitPicker (Jan 19, 2011)

A little information you might want to share with her:

Shawls are all the rage right now - very "in fashion". The upper class income are wearing them in all fabrics, plus knit, crocheted, woven, etc. They can be used as cowls, shawls, wraps for evening gowns, coats, light coverings and, in my case, I grab one sometimes to use as an afghan when I can't reach anything else.

Look in your fashion magazines and you'll see them all over. I've seen them on the Internet worn without hesitation on the runways of the shows. Granted fashion is a whim of the time to make something "different". 

Continue making them - whether prayer shawls or regular. They are worn by all the "in" crowds. Everything old is new again and shawls are going around once more.


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## Sperson (Jul 28, 2011)

My friends and I also knit prayer shawls and we are looking for patterns to knit pea pod buntings to give the hospital for stillborn babies. Anyone know of a site where I can download a pattern?


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## Muddyann (Jan 29, 2011)

I have to agree with leftymommom; I think she is asking you to make her a shawl but doesn't have the courage to come out and say it. Perhaps if you made one for her and said something like, "I made this for you because I don't think you have to be old to wear a shawl, just bold and you are one of the boldest people I know." You could change the word "bold" for "interesting" or anything you want. But giving it to her without calling her or yourself "old" would make her whole year. There is a lot of sarcasm that comes from envy, even in Church.


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## LHODGE (Nov 7, 2011)

i love to make shawls and wear them! I make rectangular ones, but I am so jealous of the people who make the beautiful triangular (Ashton type) shawls.


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## M2SMRTFORU (Oct 28, 2011)

Wear them and tell her "they make me feel good not old"


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## Pocahontas (Apr 15, 2011)

You DID ask for 'nice' comebacks and you've gotten a FEW nice ones. For me, I would never be rude back to an 84 yr old lady. I would just smile sweetly and tell her that like a lot of other things, they are back in style. Personally, I would knit a very pretty one for her, add a shawl pin and give it to her with a very sweet card enclosed.
I guess I have always marched to a different drummer because I wear what I like even if not trendy. I say 'wear your shawl with pride'. Yes I do wear shawls - I love them.


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## bonbarnie (Jan 23, 2011)

hi: my daughter is a high end manager and her office is so cold she has made herself many fine lace shawls. i do not think that makes her old just comfortable. those that make fun are just not mature yet. they will grow up like us OLD folks. i do not like shawls because they leave my arms open to the breeze and i can not keep them in place even with a shawl pin. if you laugh at the downers they will back off.


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## PattySH (Apr 18, 2012)

I'm confused. From watching Fiddler on the Roof, which I LOVE, I thought prayer shawls were what you wore to prayer or as a symbol of your religion.


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## PattySH (Apr 18, 2012)

I love this idea!


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## Bekaknits (Mar 31, 2011)

Aud36 said:


> I live in the UK and shawls don't seem to be as popular here as in the US infact I don't know anyone in my knitting circle who has worn or knitted one


You can start a new trend. they are so easy to wear and the lace one add a little touch of elegance to any outfit. i wear mine on Sunday when you need a little something but not a sweater.

Beka


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## Marianne818 (Jan 2, 2012)

I guess I have been "old" for years, when I was young I used a quilt ed lap blanket that my step-mom made for me. I never had a real shawl until I joined KP and found out about the prayer shawls. I have a blood disease and I am chilled when everyone else is hot, live with a ceiling fan turning day and night all year long. I made myself a shawl from a prayer shawl pattern. My Mom borrowed it, so I made another, a friend saw it and so I made myself another.. and so it goes. Not sure what the true comeback would be for this case, but in mine if someone comments then I smile and take the shawl and wrap it around them and say I think I made this for you. Even those that make the not so nice comments have changed attitudes when I do this. Just how I make "comebacks" ;-)


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## Marianne818 (Jan 2, 2012)

I guess I have been "old" for years, when I was young I used a quilt ed lap blanket that my step-mom made for me. I never had a real shawl until I joined KP and found out about the prayer shawls. I have a blood disease and I am chilled when everyone else is hot, live with a ceiling fan turning day and night all year long. I made myself a shawl from a prayer shawl pattern. My Mom borrowed it, so I made another, a friend saw it and so I made myself another.. and so it goes. Not sure what the true comeback would be for this case, but in mine if someone comments then I smile and take the shawl and wrap it around them and say I think I made this for you. Even those that make the not so nice comments have changed attitudes when I do this. Just how I make "comebacks" ;-)


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## Marianne818 (Jan 2, 2012)

sorry about the second post.. why is there not a way to delete them????


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## HandyFamily (Sep 30, 2011)

I am 38 now. I think I ware shawls from the time I was... maybe 12 or 13. Yeap, I was 13 - and a dear friend of my granny crocheted one for me.
There are "old-lady" ways to ware a shawl and other ways too. If you don't ware the shawl the old-lady way it won't have the old-lady feel to it either.
A shawl can be a very modern, chic, eccentric even accessorize.


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

LadyLibrarian said:


> I love to knit prayer shawls. I have some shawls but don't wear them b/c a lady at my church keeps telling me they are for old people and laughs cause I bought one. She is 84 so don't know when she will think she is old.
> I believe I know how everyone here feels about them they are lovely. I need some feedback on some "nice" comebacks for her..


Just tell her that they've come back in style!


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## Ingried (Sep 23, 2011)

If fashioned around one's Neck with a little finesse, it is a fashion statement. If just hanging on the shoulders like a rag, it looks like a "warm-up" blanket.


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## SHER HARLING (Nov 20, 2011)

Why not just tell her how hurtful her comments are the next time she says something weird?? If she persists I would share it with some of your close church friends and pastor... they might be able to help. God bless you and your beautiful prayer shawl &#128522;!


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## grannyknits20 (Jan 25, 2012)

As I understand it, there should be no charge for prayer shawls. Our Prayer Shawl ministry makes them and gives them to anyone in our area (members of our church, or not) who needs prayers for any number of reasons--illness, death of a loved one, family problems, etc. Being a member of the group is very rewarding. We have formed a very close-knit group who pray together and laugh together. Making the prayer shawls is good for us, too!


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## maur1011 (Jul 25, 2011)

Ok, here's my two cents worth. I recently gave a shawl to a (trendy) friend who is always cold in the choir loft. She was so thrilled saying "This is sooooo meeeeee!" and hugged it around herself. I don't know which of us was more pleased. 

For those who have trouble with a triangle shawl falling off, wrap it across your shoulders, under your arms and tie in back or tuck in waistband to form a shrug. It won't fall off. 

As far as your 84-year-old 'friend' goes, some people just blurt out whatever fool thought comes into their head (and occasionally I'm guilty of that too.) Life's too short to dwell on the negative.


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## maur1011 (Jul 25, 2011)

Marianne818 said:


> I guess I have been "old" for years, when I was young I used a quilt ed lap blanket that my step-mom made for me. I never had a real shawl until I joined KP and found out about the prayer shawls. I have a blood disease and I am chilled when everyone else is hot, live with a ceiling fan turning day and night all year long. I made myself a shawl from a prayer shawl pattern. My Mom borrowed it, so I made another, a friend saw it and so I made myself another.. and so it goes. Not sure what the true comeback would be for this case, but in mine if someone comments then I smile and take the shawl and wrap it around them and say I think I made this for you. Even those that make the not so nice comments have changed attitudes when I do this. Just how I make "comebacks" ;-)


I love this - you are truly a gentle soul. Wish more were like you!


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## dbwindle (Apr 7, 2011)

shawls used to be delicate and light for wear when one really dresses up and goes out somewhere---or to wear with a formal gown. Now, with the price of heating fuels, it makes sense to have either a sweater or shawl to wear with the house gets chilly---I am 77, don't consider that old, but really enjoy a shawl in the evening while I knit and watch baseball games! Also, look at the Duchess of Cambridge: she wears knit shawls to go shopping in often chilly England(and looks totally stylish)!--Besides, knitting shawls is a fast, simply and rewarding way to use up your own spun yarns, or to clean out your stash, to try out new stitches and techniques---(I am spinning to get ready to knit a hair-pin lace shawl)--I may give it to a friend, or I might keep it and stay cozy!) I will wear whatever I want to wear--let 'em laugh if they will---they could be laughing out of jealousy!


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## dbwindle (Apr 7, 2011)

knitting an item, and then sharing that knitted project is truly a generous act----good for you! I, too have given a hat, scarf, shawl, Afghan , or mittens to someone who admired ,,,,,one can only wear just so many things, so many can be shared! This way we can keep on knitting and creating!


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## craftylady49 (Dec 27, 2011)

Snappy comebacks might be rude even if they're gently humorous. Keep a new shawl on hand when you think you might see this lady and if she repeats what she said give that shawl to her and politely walk away so she can't give it back. Be sure to have the attitude that you're just being nice because, after all, its a good thing to be kind and generous.


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## mary etta (Oct 24, 2011)

Hey, I love shawls and I were them, and I'm not all that old.


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## lostmountains (Jul 14, 2011)

I have made several shawls that although are the same pattern, were alway meant for me to wear and not a prayer shawl. That being said, I do wear them to church, but also to Walmart, etc and I have a cheap yarn one for wearing around the house so if it gets dirty I can toss it in the wash.


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## britgirl (Sep 28, 2011)

I never used to give much thought to wearing shawls. However, once I started knitting Dee (Stevieland)'s shawls I became a convert. They are nice to drape around your shoulder, and yes, they can make the difference between being cold with no jacket/sweater or wearing a jacket. Easy to slip on and off. I'm trying to build up my wardrobe of shawls and will probably follow someone's idea of keeping one in the car, for just-in-case times.
If someone wants to think they are just for the old, so be it. Let them think what they want, but just do your own thing. If you like to wear them, regardless of your age, just do it.

Sue


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## btb462 (Feb 5, 2012)

Hi eveyone, I may be putting my foot in my mouth but here is what I think. I am 72 and I love scarfs and shawls. I would find out the ladys favorite color and make her a shawl in that color. Wrap it in a beautiful paper tie a silk ribbon around it and give it to her. Tell her that you know she thinks shawls are for old people but she is young in your eyes. Tell her that she does not have to wear it out side but when she fills chiled at home she can wrap it around her shoulders for warmth. Who knows it may be the start of a beautiful friendship. Maybe lace if you do lace.


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## Knitaddict (Feb 16, 2012)

I am 54, but all of my friends think I am lying about my age and am much younger. Age is a state of mind over matter... and as they say, "if you don't mind, it doesn't matter". 

My thought is that shawls are lovely. This does differ from that of my 85 year old mother, I believe, who when I made her a knitted shawl for Christmas, she looked at it said, "oh" and put it back in the box. Other family members would have squealed with joy. 

So it's a person's preference. But you need to do what is best for you, and what makes you feel good. Wear it with pride! You made it and it shows your talent and good taste!


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## Grans (Sep 1, 2011)

I am also in a PS ministry in my church. The shawls we make are for anyone, but we give them to someone who has a serious illness, has suffered the loss of a loved one, to our high school graduates, we give them to our people who are retiring, or we give them because somebody just needs to know we are thinking and praying for them. We have been meeting for just over four years and out of ten ladies we have made over 350 shawls. Each shawl has been blessed with all of us laying our hands on them and offering a prayer for the recipient. 
Maybe you should make her a shawl and let her know she is in your prayers. I love mine and also wear it frequently.


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## Knitaddict (Feb 16, 2012)

btb462 said:


> Hi eveyone, I may be putting my foot in my mouth but here is what I think. I am 72 and I love scarfs and shawls. I would find out the ladys favorite color and make her a shawl in that color. Wrap it in a beautiful paper tie a silk ribbon around it and give it to her. Tell her that you know she thinks shawls are for old people but she is young in your eyes. Tell her that she does not have to wear it out side but when she fills chiled at home she can wrap it around her shoulders for warmth. Who knows it may be the start of a beautiful friendship. Maybe lace if you do lace.


What a nice idea!


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## maysmom (Sep 22, 2011)

Dreamweaver, I just love your replies!!


Dreamweaver said:


> "Really? I always associate them with elegance. (class, luxury... you pick)"
> 
> Really? I must tell the ____________ GD's, college crowd... Daughter,,, etc. etc... you fill in the blank.
> 
> ...


Karen N.


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## Marstamper (Oct 25, 2011)

I have always wanted a prayer shawl. I have recurrent thyroid cancer that is in my lymph nodes, so could really use prayers.
One day, I will make me one, if I can figure it out. Lol


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## Pegasus (Aug 12, 2011)

I wear shawls. I don't know as I pray over them, or while doing them up, but I *do* wish the recipient well and hope that the shawl will keep them warm and comforted. I look at a shawl as being a 'yarn hug' mostly. 

I have a couple of shawls that I wear every day and the neighbour's kids think it's cool. They're forever wanting to try it on. Once I get a few more projects out of the way, I'll be making a couple more for myself. I can gift one of my shawls to the oldest of the girls then. It'll fit her better than it fits me.


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## bpj (Oct 14, 2011)

Dreamweaver you can always say things in the nicest way. I always look forward to see what answer you will give to a Question. You are just so sweet and kind.


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## Knitnewbie (Mar 8, 2011)

You could have said, "Then you must show me yours sometime." People slay me with their opinions, never thinking that everyone has their own opinions and fashion sense. I've been wearing shawls for a very long time; although nowadays they are called pashimas (might have spelled that wrong) or wraps. I guess the word shawl is the objection. If you like it, wear it. Just remember, they don't buy or make your clothes. Wear what you want and be proud.


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## khmullins (Apr 11, 2011)

Oh, did you want one?


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## virginia42 (Mar 13, 2011)

She is missing out on a lot of love & prayers by not wearing one. Can't believe she made it to that age & has learned so little.

You should show her some pics of some beautiful young people wearing very fancy shawls. 

She wouldn't wear the lovely Ashton's, etc., that people show on here? Her loss......


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## Knitnewbie (Mar 8, 2011)

Marianne818 said:


> I guess I have been "old" for years, when I was young I used a quilt ed lap blanket that my step-mom made for me. I never had a real shawl until I joined KP and found out about the prayer shawls. I have a blood disease and I am chilled when everyone else is hot, live with a ceiling fan turning day and night all year long. I made myself a shawl from a prayer shawl pattern. My Mom borrowed it, so I made another, a friend saw it and so I made myself another.. and so it goes. Not sure what the true comeback would be for this case, but in mine if someone comments then I smile and take the shawl and wrap it around them and say I think I made this for you. Even those that make the not so nice comments have changed attitudes when I do this. Just how I make "comebacks" ;-)


I like your response. It is so much nicer, even though the person may have hurt your feelings by their comments, your comeback--to give them a gift--is so much better. God bless you. May your shawls always keep you warm and the ones you give away, keep others in good spirits.


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## virginia42 (Mar 13, 2011)

btb462 said:


> Hi eveyone, I may be putting my foot in my mouth but here is what I think. I am 72 and I love scarfs and shawls. I would find out the ladys favorite color and make her a shawl in that color. Wrap it in a beautiful paper tie a silk ribbon around it and give it to her. Tell her that you know she thinks shawls are for old people but she is young in your eyes. Tell her that she does not have to wear it out side but when she fills chiled at home she can wrap it around her shoulders for warmth. Who knows it may be the start of a beautiful friendship. Maybe lace if you do lace.


I think that's a great idea.


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## LynneA (Oct 2, 2011)

yellowrose741 said:


> I think that we sometimes spend too much of our time trying to think of cutting come-backs to what other say to us. Personally, I would just smile and wear my shawl and thank others as you receive your compliments. We don't have to recognize or give acknowledgement to rudeness.
> 
> I quite agree. What would be the point of a come back? Wear your shawls with pride.


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## MacRae (Dec 3, 2011)

You could say to her, "yes and wouldn't you look good in one". I'm bad. Or.... yup, I'm warm and your not. 

In the scheme of things, her comments are not that important. Look in the magazines and see all of those gorgeous models with them on.... This might be a great way to show her, if you must, that shawls are coming back into style. 

I can't wait to make another lacey one.


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## Ann Heistad (Jan 18, 2012)

My opinion is that prayer shawls are prayed over and blessed for whomever ends up with it and if that means it has been purchased there must be a reason that person needs the blessing or prayer.
I know of some church auxiliaries which offer prayer shawls as a fund raiser for the church...they are quite popular within the community. Does it matter where it ends up as long as it's being worn and appreciated?


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## DeeDeeF (Mar 29, 2011)

Just give her a long look straight in the eyes, say not a word, then wrap your shawl a bit tighter, think about wrapping it around HER neck, tighter and tighter, then turn away; The look on your face will say it all! There is nothing wrong with anything you personally chose to wear.


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## grandmann (Feb 4, 2011)

BobnDejasMom said:


> grandmann said:
> 
> 
> > I can't believe that they are selling prayer shawls.
> ...


One of my prayer shawls that I made for a close friend ask to be buried with it. This really made me feel good but I was very sad losing a close friend.


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## PauletteB. (Feb 7, 2012)

You have received some really good comments. I especially like the comment from Dreamweaver. I would wear my shawls just because they are comfortable and reflect a craft I am blessed to have the skills to do.


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## Jrpinkston (May 27, 2011)

Don't let that woman "get your goat!" You just enjoy your shawl and ignore her. I have always had a thing for shawls. Can't have too many is how I feel. They are perfect for church because they are way easier to take on and off than a sweater with sleeves. You can snuggle down in one or just have it draped over the shoulders to knock off the chill. 

Dreamweaver . . . the older I get the more I speak my mind. Maybe it's because time is getting shorter? Ha! 

Shawls are ageless as far as I'm concerned. Life is short, enjoy your shawls!


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## goldnote (Jun 10, 2011)

A response of (big smile) "oh, shawls are showing up in all the style mags again and I just love them!" could be useful when you get the next comment, which I'm sure your critic will make 
The experience with your 84-year-old friend is probably quite different than with someone of the same age who is still aware of what's coming out of her mouth. The older my mother got (and I'm getting closer to that age every day!), the less the controller on her mouth worked. While it was embarrassing for me, most people accepted her comments with grace (and often a chuckle) and moved on. I think that's the best way to handle your friend's comment. I'm sure she had no idea that she had mis-stepped.


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## Homeshppr (Feb 28, 2011)

Maybe prayer shawls were typically (or exclusively??) worn by "Old Ladies" in generations past. Anyone who keeps in touch with knitting resources these days knows they're enjoying a new surge of popularity among all ages. 

Knitters who are creating shawls for their ministry really touch my heart with their thoughtful gifts. Not only are they reaching "out" to those with life challenges, but they are reaching their arms and talents "around" shoulders and lives that carry heavy burdens. It's a beautiful thing.


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## pfoley (Nov 29, 2011)

The only comeback you need is to wear your prayer shawl whenever or wherever you wish to wear it. Don't let someone else's comment prevent you from wearing something you want to wear. It is even possible that she was just laughing about her own little joke, that shawls are for old people and that she is much too young to wear one herself being only 84. I would not make any verbal comeback. Any comment you make, will only make you look bad; not her. Personally, I look at prayer shawls people have made on this forum in awe. I know I could never have the patience or skills to make anything so beautifully intricate. Let it go and wear your shawls proudly; that will be enough of a comeback.


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## headlemk (Feb 16, 2011)

considering you're at church I'd be careful about any comeback. however, having said, that....I agree with a previous post. next time she says anything, take off your shawl, wrap it around her frail shoulders, give her a little squeeze and say...you're welcome ... then smile and walk away.

BTW, my mom would say ... She's 80+...she's lived so long she's earned the right to speak "frankly".


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## grandmann (Feb 4, 2011)

LadyLibrarian said:


> I love to knit prayer shawls. I have some shawls but don't wear them b/c a lady at my church keeps telling me they are for old people and laughs cause I bought one. She is 84 so don't know when she will think she is old.
> I believe I know how everyone here feels about them they are lovely. I need some feedback on some "nice" comebacks for her..


Are we talking about Prayer Shawls or shawls in general? The shawls I wear aren't prayer shawls all it is a covering like a sweater on cool days.

Prayer shawl is a shawl that while you are knitting or crocheting you are also praying for a particular person..


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## Tami9120 (Mar 29, 2012)

SweetSue thanks for the link, I learn so much from KP. I always thought it put on to pray. I like this idea so much more.... I have that warm fuzzy (peaceful) feeling from what I learned. Thanks everyone....


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## Janeway (Nov 22, 2011)

Well, I'm 68 with an up coming BD of 69 not crippled but with a heart condition so I go from cold to hot but the shawls keep me warm or I can take it off when I'm hot. I will say a prayer for this lady as hateful words should not belong in our society.

At 56, I suffered a cardiac arrest and was put on disability. People were so hateful to me because of a handicapped sticker that I started saying to them, God bless you and hope you never need a handicapped sticker in your lifetime. Some people appolized and some of them just said well, I never!

Yes, I looked young and well, but the heart does not show it ugly side as I had cardiac therapy, physicial therapy and speech therapy. The kidney's failed, liver functions were haywire and I suffered double pneumonia after the cardiac arrest. God saved me for future events as my first grandchild was born later that year so a lot of happy times have happened since then. Praise the lord!

Today, I still say things that were not meant to be said (no curse words), but most of my friends knows it is not really what I meant to say. Others, I don't care about but words sometimes gets lost from the brain to the mouth! my husband just laughs and says you mean so and so!

The only pain I was feeling before the heart problems was pain in between the shoulders. Went to ER asking for pain meds but they admitted me then the heart just stopped. I have three stents which so far has corrected the problem. Everyday, I say "thank you God for this day" knowing it could be the last but I try to enjoy it to the fullest.
Jane


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## knittykitty (Mar 22, 2011)

One is only old if they think so. I would reply this is my personal style choice, I'm an old fashioned girl!

knittykitty


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## DianaM (Mar 30, 2011)

I think they look lovely, are probably very interesting to knit (or crochet), but I don't know when I would ever use one.


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## KanFan (Mar 10, 2012)

How about, "thank you for your interest. Then ask her when you will be old enough. Let it go. It isn't important enough to get up set about. Always remember "hurt people hurt people". It isn't about you, is about her.
Best wishes,
KanFan


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## carolky (May 3, 2011)

I would like to think that I would just smile softly and say something like "Thank you for noticing; God bless you"

That's not saying I actually WOULD say that. LOL


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## debra rochner (Oct 14, 2011)

I would offer her one and say, "Women of all ages like something warm and soft around their shoulders, wrap this around your shoulders and see if you don't love it like I do. You'll look very fashionable."


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## funthreads623 (May 25, 2011)

yeah, and everyone is jumping off the tallest building, when are you going to?
Why be average when you can be unusual? (change wording, but meaning the same!) 
I prefer to be an individual, not like everyone else.


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## LadyLibrarian (Oct 7, 2011)

I have shawls I bought and I also have a prayer shawl I made for myself. I agree with all of these responses. I do smile and I believe it is her mind set on the early years when she didn't see the lovely ones today. They are so pretty and thanks for all the remarks makes me feel even better about my choices.. I know I am very insecure always had my husband to support me and after he passed away 6 year ago just still trying to get my way around alone.


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## dawnprentiss (Aug 10, 2011)

I agree with lefty maybe it is her way of hinting hey i am old could ya make me one please?? I know it is a strange way of doing things but i have worked with the elderly a looooong time and sometimes that is just there way!! gotta love em.well maybe not all...lol


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## sandymac (Nov 20, 2011)

Dreamweaver said:


> "Really? I always associate them with elegance. (class, luxury... you pick)"
> 
> Really? I must tell the ____________ GD's, college crowd... Daughter,,, etc. etc... you fill in the blank.
> 
> ...


I'm 100% with you.Sandy


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## ewdawson (Jan 13, 2012)

I am 86, but very active and am not going to knit or wear a shawl for myself as I feel they are for old people and with what I do, I do not consider myself old. I will knit a prayer shawl for someone who is ill and needs a little warmth over their shoulders, up to now, I have made 3 prayer shawls and given them to friends who are illl


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## lettuceshop (May 20, 2011)

My mother-in-law used to say, "You can kill more flies with honey than with vinegar". With that thought in mind, you might consider gifting her with a simple shawl. I'll bet she would be pleased and wear it.


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## KyKnitter (Jan 3, 2012)

Make a prayer shawl for her and tell her that you have prayed for her as you were working on it. That should humble her then tell her if she doesn't need the prayers to pass the shawl to someone else who could use the prayers. I feel that the prayers are transferable.


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## Isis (Mar 24, 2011)

I love shawls, however my mum wouldn't wear one, recently I was at my future niece's bridal shower and wore one and her mom loved it, I'm thinking of buying some yarn in a really nice color and knitting her one as I had to keep an eye on mine for fear it disappeared.


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## joanh8060 (Apr 22, 2011)

I too am in my 80's. Shawls aren't my style...I tend toward the sporty, jeans and hiking boots and a sweater. Not to church....don't go anymore. Hearing about those cutting catty remarks reminds me why I prefer attending church in a lovely natural setting, woods, dunes, a lake, A good Golden Retriever for companionhip. 
But I dolike seeing shawls on others...and can appreciate the knitting skills it took to create them. Joan 8060


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## chicquette (Dec 25, 2011)

I saw your post and had to throw my two cents in on the prayer shawl comment. As for the 84 year-old, she's playing the age card. Who is going to be petty and mean with someone her age? Maybe pull her aside and help her understand the ministry behind prayer shawls. If that doesn't help, go for Man's Best Friend---duct tape.

I have been a knitter for 40+ years, and for the past 8, a prayer shawl knitter. My finished fabric has gone to people I know as well as people I will never meet, and generally to people whose lives have been deeply affectly by life-altering circumstances---not for fashion. The comments made by prayer shawl recipients would indicate that many heads and hearts have been touched. As one cancer patient stated, "It's like I'm being support by a thousand prayers and hugs everytime I wrap the shawl around me. Who wouldn't feel loved?"

No matter what faith one follows, a common bond is to look beyond ourselves and serve the needs of others. Something as simple as a prayer shawl unites us all.

Louis


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## ireneofnc (Aug 15, 2011)

Ladylibrarian:

I know how this must make you feel. It's unfortunate that in this world, we have to deal with ignorance from adults of all ages. I just dealt with one by telephone this morning!

As for this lady, since she is 84, I think I would consider the fact that she probably has a touch of Dementia or Alsheimers Disease and is simply not herself.

But my advice for you is, please don't let this woman dampen your spirits about your beautiful shawls. Wear them even more, especially around her, and she will get the message. You have to remember, that some people get the greatest joy out of making others feel bad. She sounds like one of those persons, and its probably because she doesn't like herself, or has some serious issues.

I absolutely love shawls and just recently purchased an ivory lacy shawl that's gorgeous. I wore my shawl to church with a sleeveless dress, on a cool day and got so many compliments on it!
Bottom line, don't let her get to you and continue to wear/purchase your shawls. 

Have a great day!


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## katkarma (Apr 20, 2011)

Shawls are the very last thing I would spend my time knitting. I also associate them with old ladies. And just where are all these shawls that have been knitted??? I haven't seen one anywhere since I was a small girl in church 60 years ago and then only occasionally. I also never see them advertised (ready-made) for sale.....definintely not my style or the style of any of my d-i-l's or g-daughters.....

Just my opinion....the only good thing about them is they show off a pattern and are pretty to look at....too much time to invest for just that!!

Noreen


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

maur1011 said:


> Marianne818 said:
> 
> 
> > I guess I have been "old" for years, when I was young I used a quilt ed lap blanket that my step-mom made for me. I never had a real shawl until I joined KP and found out about the prayer shawls. I have a blood disease and I am chilled when everyone else is hot, live with a ceiling fan turning day and night all year long. I made myself a shawl from a prayer shawl pattern. My Mom borrowed it, so I made another, a friend saw it and so I made myself another.. and so it goes. Not sure what the true comeback would be for this case, but in mine if someone comments then I smile and take the shawl and wrap it around them and say I think I made this for you. Even those that make the not so nice comments have changed attitudes when I do this. Just how I make "comebacks" ;-)
> ...


I agree - what a beautiful thing for you to do.


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## colonialcat (Dec 22, 2011)

I also knit prayer shawls i give them to our minister to give out to those on her calls who are home bound , i make them vey simply so they are either a shawl or a lap robe or wrap ones feet in them or what ever the need. i make mine in a rectangle. do not put fringe on any as if people are in any type of chair with wheels the chance of getting fringe caught in wheels is high, I don't want any one to fall as they got fringe under foot either . I make a plain knit one row pearl one row shawl of about 100 stitches do a seeds stitch border so it doesn't roll some i do a shell crocheted edge on i beyond the seed stitch border . I use standard weight yarn. i also weeded out all the shawls i had and never used and gave them to my minister some had been given to my grand mother or my mother, but never used much .i am not a shawl person for me or not often. i love the lovely ones i see on here all of them are beautiful. but i try to make them so men or women can use them also or even to wrap a infant in if needed. i am or was an LPN so i worked in a variety of situations for 50 years ans know the issues with fringe.


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## jonibee (Nov 3, 2011)

Even though I'm not a lover of shawls, they remind me of "Someones love wrapped around you"..


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## Novice Sandy (Apr 16, 2011)

I was going to say something similar, leftymommom. I would probably make a simple, but nice one and give it to her. Kindness kills a lot of ills. If she wears it fine, if not fine. But I would bet you might see her wearing it in the church. I would watch what she does wear for a few weeks and knit/crochet one in her color and/or style. Unexpected kindness/gifts are the nicest.


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## Birchwoods (Apr 1, 2012)

I am 84 also and I wear them all the time because they are so warm, cozy and fashionable.


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## Ruth Niedzielak (Sep 11, 2011)

Joyce Lofton, a prayer shawl is a clothing article you knit while you pray for someone who is ill, in trouble or just because you wish the best for them, and you give to that person when the shawl is finished.


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## bpj (Oct 14, 2011)

Janeway, you are a blessed person, and may God always Bless you.Thanks for a nice post and don't worry about what people say. you know in your heart you are correct in using a Handicap place.


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## Pat FP (Nov 30, 2011)

Funny how some people chose catagories for us, or we do for them. We have blessed out over three hundred prayer shawls in the last 26 months. We ask the recepient to pick one out or the person getting the shawl for some one outside the congration. We usually have 3-5 on hand. I must tell you as an artist I alwys imagine which one they will chose. I am almost NEVER right. Men chose purple women chose grey but little girls almost alwys chose bright pink, purple or apple green. The comfort and caring goes on and on, So maybe she needs one too.


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## rabuckler (Mar 19, 2011)

I think the shawls that people have posted are beautiful but have not made one because I don't know anyone that uses one.


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## knittykitty (Mar 22, 2011)

Oh! I use mine all the time. And, I get comments about 'where did you find it" all the time. Great fun to say (with a grin) I knitted it! I have two shawls that I have made. One is knitted of very fine alpaca wool blend. The other is made from mohair and alpaca blend on size 11 needles. It is large and my friends all want one!

Will post a pix when I get it washed and blocked.

knittykitty


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## leighanne1968 (Apr 10, 2011)

I've never cared what other people thought about what I wear. I wear what I like. And you should too. I'd just smile and walk away. Don't let her get to you. She's just jealous!


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## crafty jeanie (Apr 1, 2011)

I'm in my 60's and when I wore mine to church one lady came up and told me I looked sexy, and I had jeans on with it. I tell my kids when they say mom you are to old to have long hair, show me where it is written. You do what you feel confortable with, after all we are past the age of caring what other think of are appearance. So enjoy it and wear it with pride.


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## carrottop71 (Jul 17, 2011)

I knit pray shaws and I wear them when ever I feel a need. I feel everyone wishes they could make one for themselves. I get complements about mine. Come back would be "You're only as old as you feel and I feel great when I wear one of my hand made shaws."


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## Ronie (Jan 21, 2011)

if you agree with her that puts her over to your side. Then you can explain why you like it and that if it makes you look old thats ok...say all of this with a smile and light hearted attitude, I think you will find a friend... ALSO some people are just odd in the way they relate to other people and if she's 84 it could be her generation.. my boss is 86 and I can't believe what comes out of his mouth... just mean spirited ... at times.. and cute as a bugs ear other times.. its a roller coaster thats for sure...LOL


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## lindakaren12 (Dec 16, 2011)

How about....shawls keep me warn! I'm very utilitarian, I like that shawls are loose, not confining, easy to remove or move around depending on temperatures.


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## nevadalynn (Apr 27, 2011)

I wear them all the time and I am 57 years old. Maybe in her generation, it meant you were old.


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## KnottyMe (Mar 8, 2012)

Do you really think she was trying to be mean or rude? Could it be that she was trying to make fun of her own age? Or maybe she was trying to convince herself that she was not old. It just sounds like something stupid that I would say, not meaning to hurt anyone.

I wear shawls. Got my first one as a gift in 1972 when I was preparing to move to Florida where A/C is a necessity but usually too cold. I'm back in a colder climate and still have that lovely crocheted acrylic shawl, in fact, right next to my computer chair.

Try not to sweat over the small stuff.


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## linda09 (Dec 21, 2011)

Dreamweaver said:


> "Really? I always associate them with elegance. (class, luxury... you pick)"
> 
> Really? I must tell the ____________ GD's, college crowd... Daughter,,, etc. etc... you fill in the blank.
> 
> ...


I'm with you Dreamweaver. The only times I get complimented on my clothes are when I have accessorised with a beautiful, colourful shawl and everyone loves getting them as gifts.


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## nancyk (Aug 2, 2011)

I always liked shawls no matter what age I was. The best kind are ones with buttons or catch of some kind so you can flap around and not worry about it sliding off.


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## kestrelz (Nov 29, 2011)

Where's your's


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## Murff (Nov 11, 2011)

You DO have great comments. I just might use this one sometime. Thanks. Another comment could be, "I'm sorry you feel that way."


Dreamweaver said:


> "Really? I always associate them with elegance. (class, luxury... you pick)"
> 
> Really? I must tell the ____________ GD's, college crowd... Daughter,,, etc. etc... you fill in the blank.
> 
> ...


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## susannahp (Nov 7, 2011)

Well lol I would look her in the eye and simply say " Well you should know !!" then laugh a little under your breath and walk away ...if she says anything after that just tell her that you are an old soul and that this is fashion forward as the trends are coming back.....


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## SDKATE57 (Feb 9, 2011)

I am NOT old and I too am too nice to print the rebuttals here, especially since you would be in church. I would make a prayer shawl for her, and box it up, wrap it beautifully add a note that you know that only OLD ladies wear them, but while you were knitting this prayer shawl, you said prayers for her. Don't wait for her to open it,just walk away after you give her the box, Sometimes it's better to just give the wolves the meat and let them think about it., As for me, I wear jeans constantly, I had to buy a slip to wear with a skirt to my son's wedding. But in the summer, I take my shawls everywhere I go, because the AC is so high in some places...beats dragging a sweater around with me. In the fall, winter and spring, they are perfect to keep me just that bit warmer as the weather changes, I have several pins I have made to go with them, and they are perfect. OH, one thing I thought of you could say, this is an Ann Landers thing "Only OLD women wear these? I can't imagine that you would say something like that, you seem so nice" OR "thank you, I love it don't you".


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## CurleyQ (Feb 1, 2011)

People from the "hippie" generation wear whatever they like.


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## AuntKnitty (Apr 10, 2011)

This is what I usually say to people who "share" (or over share in most cases) opinions that weren't asked for.

"Thank you for sharing that with me". If said with a big enough smile, no one gets what you're really saying.


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## jeannewmie (Aug 12, 2011)

LadyLibrarian said:


> I love to knit prayer shawls. I have some shawls but don't wear them b/c a lady at my church keeps telling me they are for old people and laughs cause I bought one. She is 84 so don't know when she will think she is old.
> I believe I know how everyone here feels about them they are lovely. I need some feedback on some "nice" comebacks for her..


I think this is one of those times where you just say "Oh really?", smile and be on your way. You know who you are, what you like and how you would treat others. Wear your shawls proudly - I'm sure they are beautiful! Jeanne


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## Tennessee.Gal (Mar 11, 2012)

headlemk said:


> considering you're at church I'd be careful about any comeback. however, having said, that....I agree with a previous post. next time she says anything, take off your shawl, wrap it around her frail shoulders, give her a little squeeze and say...you're welcome ... then smile and walk away.
> 
> BTW, my mom would say ... She's 80+...she's lived so long she's earned the right to speak "frankly".


But that doesn't give her the right to be rude and say hurtful things.


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## Tennessee.Gal (Mar 11, 2012)

JoyceLofton said:


> LadyLibrarian said:
> 
> 
> > I love to knit prayer shawls. I have some shawls but don't wear them b/c a lady at my church keeps telling me they are for old people and laughs cause I bought one. She is 84 so don't know when she will think she is old.
> ...


www.shawlministry.com


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## gotridge (Aug 3, 2011)

I would have told her that everyone can use a little prayer and warmth.


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## Tennessee.Gal (Mar 11, 2012)

Cindylu said:


> Tell her -- yes they are for old people -- would you like me to make you one ? She may be 84 but that doesn't give you the right to be rude !!


I so agree!


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## Dsynr (Jun 3, 2011)

LadyLibrarian said:


> I love to knit prayer shawls. I have some shawls but don't wear them b/c a lady at my church keeps telling me they are for old people and laughs cause I bought one. She is 84 so don't know when she will think she is old.
> I believe I know how everyone here feels about them they are lovely. I need some feedback on some "nice" comebacks for her..


Nah! Don't bother yourself over it. She's probably jealous of the beautiful work you do and the appreciation everyone expresses for it; and too lazy to do a comparable amount of work herself! You can't do anything about the way someone else acts; but you do rule YOU.
When I see the beautiful work my "KP Mentors" post on the forum, I can just sigh over them. Some day, I will be able to make such masterpieces. Personally, I ignore most catty remarks. Jealousy is a terrible affliction I do my best not to suffer from. I try to be like my Grannie; but I'm not half as courageous as she was.
I can remember when my Grannie encountered rude remarks like this, she always gave a slight half-smile, and said in that quiet, no-nonsense, ladylike voice of hers,
"You think so? Well." or, "You don't say." then, she'd just wait for another remark in her quiet way. She never made a snide remark in her life that I knew about. I think her patience and good breeding could have shamed Adolph Hitler [IMHO]!
I never even HEARD of anyone who was her enemy. When she went on to her reward, the little church, the churchyard, the neighbors' yards and porches, AND THE ROAD were jammed with mourners.
You would have thought that someone rich and famous had passed. Over fifty years later, folks still say they miss her.


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## grace59 (Jan 17, 2012)

My knee jerk reaction was "oh yes, now I remember why I didn't like church or the people there". Then I suddenly realized I was being just like the close minded, judgmental woman who made the stereotypical comment about "old people wear shawls".
Bottom line...please don't let someone else ruin the joy you have with wearing shawls. Don't let her problem become yours.


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## BarbaraSD (Mar 10, 2011)

I *love* shawls. I don't have one, but certainly like to see them on other people. They are so feminine.



LadyLibrarian said:


> I love to knit prayer shawls. I have some shawls but don't wear them b/c a lady at my church keeps telling me they are for old people and laughs cause I bought one. She is 84 so don't know when she will think she is old.
> I believe I know how everyone here feels about them they are lovely. I need some feedback on some "nice" comebacks for her..


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## Tennessee.Gal (Mar 11, 2012)

Pocahontas said:


> You DID ask for 'nice' comebacks and you've gotten a FEW nice ones. For me, I would never be rude back to an 84 yr old lady. I would just smile sweetly and tell her that like a lot of other things, they are back in style. Personally, I would knit a very pretty one for her, add a shawl pin and give it to her with a very sweet card enclosed.
> I guess I have always marched to a different drummer because I wear what I like even if not trendy. I say 'wear your shawl with pride'. Yes I do wear shawls - I love them.


It doesn't matter how old she is, rude is rude. She should be an positive example to others at her age, not saying mean and hurtful things.


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## gina (Jan 18, 2011)

Tell her it's like that old song that Hugh Jackman sings...

Don't throw the past away
You might need it some rainy day
Dreams can come true again
When ev'ry thing old is new again


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## Tennessee.Gal (Mar 11, 2012)

I, for one, have so enjoyed this discussion -- it's great to read everyone's suggestions and comments -- love you all!


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## BarbaraSD (Mar 10, 2011)

Do you have a favorite pattern? I keep thinking I'll try the one that is shaped around the shoulders.



Lynda from Watford said:


> Shawls, wraps, pashminas - who cares?!?!?!?
> 
> I'm 63, English and a proud shawl wearer - light ones in the summer, warm ones in the winter. And so do my 32 year old daughter and several of her friends. I get compliments from all ages and after knitting one for my daughter last Christmas, all the young guys in her office asked for ones for their partners plus the only other girl who works there wanted one and she's in her 20s. I got lovely thank you notes from them all. The main thing I like about them is that they are so much more dressy for evening wear - smarter than a cardigan or coat. And who cares what other people think. And I love knitting them. If you want to do something and it doesn't hurt anyone else, do it - that's my credo.


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## julietremain (Jul 8, 2011)

Dsynr......your grandmother sounds just like my grandmother!!!!Could these two gentle,beautiful souls have been sisters!!! I often remember my grandmother's responses during my own trying times and try to respond to a trying situation as she would have....At her funeral I stepped out side to get air at a very trying moment and overheard two funeral home workers trying to figure out WHO my grandmother was...they had never heard of her....but several hundred people came to her funeral and they had never seen anything like it.....she died when I was very young and my only regret is that I din't have a chance to knit for her!!
julie


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## Shirley Ray (Mar 3, 2011)

A couple of years ago, I knitted prayer shawls for everyone in my family, male and female. They all loved them, (especially the cats and dogs), but no one wears them outside the house. They are all thrown over favorite chairs or sofas for use while watching television or reading. I am told that in two different places, they were immediately taken over by a cat and the humans to this day have to fight the cats to use them. Go figure. In any case, they are all appreciated and well-used, including my own. One thing different about them is that I tied the fringe to the long side ends rather than the short top and bottom. Makes a big difference. But, of course, a lot more time and trouble.


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## Isuel (Sep 27, 2011)

I love them they are so elegant. Tell your church friend "we go to church to praise God not to have the fashion critics criticize our garments. Sounds like Joan Rivers attends your church.


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## grandmann (Feb 4, 2011)

katkarma said:


> Shawls are the very last thing I would spend my time knitting. I also associate them with old ladies. And just where are all these shawls that have been knitted??? I haven't seen one anywhere since I was a small girl in church 60 years ago and then only occasionally. I also never see them advertised (ready-made) for sale.....definintely not my style or the style of any of my d-i-l's or g-daughters.....
> 
> Just my opinion....the only good thing about them is they show off a pattern and are pretty to look at....too much time to invest for just that!!
> 
> Noreen


You will never know on until you wear one. A Shawl was given to me a very simple shawl I wear it around the house every time I get chill. I feel it's alot better than a sweater where you have to put arms into. You can drape a sweater around your self but then it becomes a shawl.


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## julietremain (Jul 8, 2011)

Oh...I just thought of something else....get her in front of the ravelry website and show her the shawls designed by Stephen West!!!!! So beautiful...fashionable...men and women are making and wearing them!!
julie


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## Woolywarmer (May 31, 2011)

I have never knit a shawl. Just last night I was heading to a function and the temps were iffy. Too warm for a sweater, a jacket wouldn't work,and the proverbial light bulb lit up the night. A shawl would be perfect. I am in the middle of a sweater right now but a shawl just moved up to the next in line (and one was never in line). BTW, I am an oldie.


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## Kamon (Jun 9, 2011)

Tell her she is out of date and shawl's are all over the run way this spring and it is true too.


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## marieannetowells (Jan 16, 2012)

I think shawls are gorgeous and when we go camping my grandkids put fleece blankets around them at the campfire. Same idea! I have a gorgeous shawl that is woven! I wear it allot and get tons of compliments!


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## Mary Diaz (Mar 30, 2012)

Girls, I like you very much. You guys make my day more interesting, every day. I'm glad to be part of KP. The mountains are old, and God dress them every year with all his glory and marvellous ways. As a christian, she need to think more positive, to help others instead drown them. As somebody already mention, make a prayer shawl for her asking God to bless and help her to be a better christian every day. "We must accept finite disappointment, but we must never lose infinite hope" Dr. MLK. Go girl, you can make it! 
Attach is a shawl from Lion Brand Yarns, enjoy!


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## marieannetowells (Jan 16, 2012)

I think if you choose to you should make her one but I would just ignore her comments!


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## Pocahontas (Apr 15, 2011)

Tennessee.Gal said:


> Pocahontas said:
> 
> 
> > You DID ask for 'nice' comebacks and you've gotten a FEW nice ones. For me, I would never be rude back to an 84 yr old lady. I would just smile sweetly and tell her that like a lot of other things, they are back in style. Personally, I would knit a very pretty one for her, add a shawl pin and give it to her with a very sweet card enclosed.
> ...


I agree, rude is rude. My dad passed away at 88 and believe me, he would say exactly what he was thinking. Many times I thought he was rude, but he thought he was being cute. And I couldn't change his thinking on that. In the initial post, the lady doesn't really seem rude - perhaps just kind of making fun of her own age. I notice there are at least 2 octogenarians who have responded to this post and both don't wear shawls. Could it be that 'their' generation DOES view shawls as something for old ladies?


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## crystalrose (Apr 22, 2011)

She's at your church, so she's supposed to be your sister in Christ, right? Isn't it terrible when the ones who are supposed to support and encourage us the most are the ones who hurt us? You're old enough to wear whatever you want! I try to dress in a manner that's pleasing to God, pleasing to my husband and comfortable for me, and if anyone else doesn't like it, too bad! If she's really being mean spirited you could say,"Really? I'm suprised you feel that way, I know Jesus doesn't have a problem with it."


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## jan1ce (Sep 10, 2011)

LadyLibrarian said:


> I love to knit prayer shawls. I have some shawls but don't wear them b/c a lady at my church keeps telling me they are for old people and laughs cause I bought one. She is 84 so don't know when she will think she is old.
> I believe I know how everyone here feels about them they are lovely. I need some feedback on some "nice" comebacks for her..


My Mum was the same until I knitted one for her. She wears it all the time and has put in an order for another.

Dont let her stop you from enjoying your shawls, be proud of your achievements and enjoy them.

Jan xx


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## Pegasus (Aug 12, 2011)

I've been thinking about your dilemma, LadyLibrarian, and reading all the posts. My first reaction wouldn't have made it past the censors, I'm afraid, but I've discovered one that just might get the point across that she was being rude without being obvious about it. It's going to depend on where you live. 

"Bless your heart, dear. I didn't know that."


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## CathyAnn (May 14, 2011)

yellowrose741 said:


> I think that we sometimes spend too much of our time trying to think of cutting come-backs to what other say to us. Personally, I would just smile and wear my shawl and thank others as you receive your compliments. We don't have to recognize or give acknowledgement to rudeness. You go girl.
> 
> 
> LadyLibrarian said:
> ...


AMEN! :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## Wincelot (Dec 21, 2011)

Thank you all. I am another 84 year old and now very happy to have my confusion cleared up. Previously I thought they were confined to a particular faith, such as prayer mats. I've read all these comments before and thought one could pray while wearing any shawl as well as any other piece of clothing. I do like the concept of praying while knitting one for a particular person. If you create a number of them for a particular cause seems workable as well.


sweetsue said:


> A prayer shawl can be any shawl - but normally the knitter prays for the receiver and then passes the shawl on. You may be interested in this link:
> http://www.shawlministry.com/instructions.html
> 
> 
> ...


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## Gabriell (Sep 13, 2011)

One reason I wear a shawl is for warmth. I keep a handknit one in my car. I almost always take into church because it is always so cold. Even in the summer. That's just me, I'm always cold.

We have a prayer shawl ministry and I have made three. We turn them in and as they accumulate our priest blesses them.I felt good about making them but my first love is the teddy bears for HIV/AIDS children.


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## CalifJane (Jul 28, 2011)

I love the look of shawls but never have been able to keep one on . I have a friend who always wears one and looks so elegant and classy. I have been tempted to try one of the beautiful shawls you ladies are making. Maybe I should invest in one of the shawl picks. In the winter I keep a cowl or scarf around my neck. Even though I don't comment on the work everyone does, I love it all and admire it.


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## Elizabethan (Apr 6, 2012)

Yes, Dreamweaver does know just what to say &#9829;


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## mernie (Mar 20, 2011)

That was mean. Tell her that. You wear the things that please you, not some crabby old lady.


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## donnaparrone (Dec 22, 2011)

Dreamweaver said:


> "Really? I always associate them with elegance. (class, luxury... you pick)"
> 
> Really? I must tell the ____________ GD's, college crowd... Daughter,,, etc. etc... you fill in the blank.
> 
> ...


Yeah - what she said..... 
:lol:


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## bpj (Oct 14, 2011)

Good for you.


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## Bumble (Sep 7, 2011)

I'm a shawl gal! <smile> Easier to slip on or off depending upon how one feels at any moment. Also slips easily over anything you are wearin.


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

crafty jeanie said:


> I'm in my 60's and when I wore mine to church one lady came up and told me I looked sexy, and I had jeans on with it. I tell my kids when they say mom you are to old to have long hair, show me where it is written. You do what you feel confortable with, after all we are past the age of caring what other think of are appearance. So enjoy it and wear it with pride.


Way to go!!


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## BarbaraSD (Mar 10, 2011)

LOL. Isn't that "Bless your heart" a southern expression that comes just before a zinger?



Pegasus said:


> I've been thinking about your dilemma, LadyLibrarian, and reading all the posts. My first reaction wouldn't have made it past the censors, I'm afraid, but I've discovered one that just might get the point across that she was being rude without being obvious about it. It's going to depend on where you live.
> 
> "Bless your heart, dear. I didn't know that."


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## BarbaraSD (Mar 10, 2011)

Bumble said:


> I'm a shawl gal! <smile> Easier to slip on or off depending upon how one feels at any moment. Also slips easily over anything you are wearin.


You are quite right. You can wear a shawl with a dress or even jeans. It is a goes-with-anything apparel.


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

If we're still on the 84-year old woman who said shawls were for old people, here's another take on it.

She knows she's old, and she's making a joke about herself by saying she can't wear it because it's for old people, implying that she's not old. Joke.

I'd just tell her they've come back into style. I'm old enough (67) to know that actually, when I was young, shawls WERE for older folks, probably because they got chilly more easily. It's only been in the last few years that shawls have been popular for all ages - probably because they look so great! But granny wasn't ALL wrong.


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## JoyceinNC (Oct 28, 2011)

She's just full of balonie (misspelled on purpose)! There are such GORGEOUS shawl patterns out there, I agree with earlier comments about them being elegant and beautiful. If I wasn't so clumsie, I'd make them and wear them too. Can't believe an older person would make such a comment. Has she looked in the mirror lately? Does she think she's a teenager? Come to think of it, I've seen a couple of teen girls at church wearing shawls in our cold building. And they weren't borrowing their mom's. 

You just keep on making and wearing shawls! The rest of us know what is what!


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## loisdenise (Jan 22, 2011)

I love the intricate shawls. I thought that the prayer shawls had some religious significance, such as the mantilla which covers the head of a woman in catholic services.


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## loisdenise (Jan 22, 2011)

CalifJane said:


> I love the look of shawls but never have been able to keep one on . I have a friend who always wears one and looks so elegant and classy. I have been tempted to try one of the beautiful shawls you ladies are making. Maybe I should invest in one of the shawl picks. In the winter I keep a cowl or scarf around my neck. Even though I don't comment on the work everyone does, I love it all and admire it.


How about a nice kilt pin? I also acquired, in a collection that was my friend's grandmothers, a little ring that was made from a 1 1/4 inch plastic ring (I think it was a curtain ring). The ring was crocheted all around then a strip of about 3/4 inch by 1 1/2 inches was crocheted from the ring to a safety pin. So you slip the ends through the rings and pin to your garment. The note with it suggests pinning it inside your coat.


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## sholen (Mar 1, 2011)

Reminds me of a visit to a new doc for my back. He told me I had the spine of a seventy year old (I was 40). I replied...Don't I look good for seventy! We both laughed!

Wear and enjoy your shawls often. Age is no excuse. One day she may even ask to borrow one!


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## pengee (Jul 24, 2011)

Interesting. I wondered what a prayer shawl is, as well. It is a lovely idea. We do not seem to wear shawls as much here in NZ as people do in other countries. When they were a fashion statement here - about 1980's - my mother-in-law crocheted all five of her daughters in law and herself beautiful shawls, then did one for each of her seven sisters/sisters-in-law.I also very much admire the beautiful fine lace knit shawls I see on the site.


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## Knitaddict (Feb 16, 2012)

Yes, when I moved to Georgia, a southern friend told me the way that her mama can slap you in the face before you knew she was even upset. And that was her way...

Later on, I met her and she said, "Don't you look nice... bless your heart"... I was never sure what she meant by that! ;-)



BarbaraSD said:


> LOL. Isn't that "Bless your heart" a southern expression that comes just before a zinger?
> 
> 
> 
> ...


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## peggyferrell (Oct 5, 2011)

The frugal Scots wore shawls and capes because they were not fitted. It didn't matter if you grew taller or fatter, it still kept you warm. A kilt started out as a long blanket that you folded into pleats with a belt on the outside, then laid down on it and fastened the belt. you could wrap up in it at night to keep warm. Much the same as the Mexican serape.


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## Mamajan (Nov 29, 2011)

Prayer shawls are news to me and I love the idea.How proudly I would wear one.I am of an age to wear what I please and truly dont care what others think.I went out one day to a hospital appointment,Didnt thinkto look in the mirror before I left home.After attending i was walking around a large store wondering why people had been staring at me as I walked down the corridors .Just then I passed a selection of floor mirrors ,saw this apparition and said to myself,"Who the hell dressed her?" Shocked I realised it was myself and ever since take a quick check before I go.
I looked ,what they call in Yorkshire "half baked" or "not all there." resally \I guess I care what I look like to myself but not others.


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## sblanch (Sep 27, 2011)

Grandma Jan said:


> Dreamweaver, I just love you! You always make the coolest comments/observations.


I agree with you.. I love to read Dreamweaver's comments. I don't post a lot, but I read all the comments everyday and I can't imagine her being "old"...her comments are young in mind and young at heart.


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## bpj (Oct 14, 2011)

Yes, we in Georgia, say :"Bless your heart" snd its slways said just like we would say I like you. Most that it is said to, return with a thank you.


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## Ruth Niedzielak (Sep 11, 2011)

How about just smiling, radjust your shawl and wish the lady a wonderful, blessed day.


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## 4578 (Feb 2, 2011)

take it as a compliment. She may be complimenting your youth and telling you there is plenty of time to be an old lady. I knit and wear lace shawls anywhere and everywhere. Love to make and wear them - so warm. I am always surprised at how warm a light weight lace scarf/shawl is. Wrap one around her dear shoulders and tell her you would love to give it to her. Say a prayer with her when she accepts.


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## tinyteacup (Jan 19, 2012)

A soft answer turns away wrath. I have read many kind and generous responses here. There is enough nastiness and hurt in the world already. She may even at this moment be regretting her comment or as someone said thinks she was being cute and not giving it a second thought. Just be kind.

Also was wondering if anyone has a shawl to send to Marstamper whose comment is on page 7.


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## Baker Bear (Mar 3, 2011)

First off I crocheted a Prayer Shawl for my 17 year old Grand daughter who loves it. Next food for thought: How can anyone possibly charge for a gift of prayer???? It is not a prayer if you have to pay for IT!!!! Enough said!


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## czechmate (Jun 17, 2011)

I love to wear the shawlett.


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## fuchspapillon (Apr 18, 2012)

54 years of age and HATE drafts, so wear shawls. In the process of knitting myself a "shawl wardrobe", garter stitch only. Good idea to wear one you wouldn't mind to "Lose" and say "Try it, you'll like it!" as you take it noff and present it to her.


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## jjane139 (Mar 16, 2011)

Lady Librarian says she bought a shawl and also mentioned prayer shawls. I did not take it to mean that she bought a prayer shawl. I have never heard of selling or buying a prayer shawl, but shawls of other kinds are easy to find for sale in various places.


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## Grandma Gail (Sep 27, 2011)

I would say that I find people of all ages like to be wrapped in a prayer.


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## BarbaraSD (Mar 10, 2011)

bpj said:


> Yes, we in Georgia, say :"Bless your heart" snd its slways said just like we would say I like you. Most that it is said to, return with a thank you.


So the phrase "Bless your heart" can be taken both ways? As a greeting/kindness and also as a prelude to making a polite "insult"?


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## mkjfrj (Apr 2, 2011)

Wear whatever makes you comfortable and forget about anyone else.


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## Elin (Sep 17, 2011)

I think that the lady at your church should go to church more often and listen carefully to the sermons!


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## bsfmama (Feb 7, 2011)

I LOVE them! And I am NOT old!!! Unless you ask my kids- but what do they know!?If you make a sort of small one, they can be worn with the one point in front kind of like a cowl and I get the greatest compliments on them. Look on Ravelry for pretty lace ones- I am making one right now that is just a long rectangle- or ir will be if I can ever find the time to sit and knit. I say "go for it"- everything comes back in fashion. My motto: If it makes you happy, do it"


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## daralene (Feb 27, 2012)

I had the sweetest grandma. About 30 years ago I was going to make a shawl for her. I also always connected them with elegance. I was told by my cousins that grandma didn't like things connected with being old. I never thought of them that way myself. It must have been the same thing as me not wanting my hair flipped up at the ends because of a silly connection I have in my mind about the 60.s. It is modern now but I can't get it out of my head that it is old-fashioned. Must be some sort of connection she has from her past. It is a shame and I know we should be more open. I'm working on it, but if she's in her 80's I think she's done working on changing. My aunt, on the other hand, who is 94 is so great and I will have to see what she thinks of wearing a shawl.


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## pzoe (Mar 17, 2011)

I love shawls and agree with all the KP accolades. You already know that you won't win with this woman. My "not so nice" thought was to print out the most fashionable, gorgeous and sexy shawls to "casually" show her. Still, she'd have an unpleasant comment.

pzoe


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## rereschatz (May 9, 2011)

I love to feel wrapped in something I think is beautiful. I also don't like to dress like every other person around. They make me feel special....in a good way!


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## bpj (Oct 14, 2011)

Never has heard "Bless your Heart" used any way but as a nice saying.


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## eveningstar (May 8, 2011)

How about, "Thank you for your opinion."


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## gdhavens (Jul 21, 2011)

Prayer shawls are shawls knit specifically to be given to another person that is need on prayers and comfort. The shawl referred to in the first post as purchased was not a prayer shawl. It was a shawl purchased for wear, which I think is a GREAT accessary. I agree with the post that calls them classic and a luxury. They can be beautiful.

Shawls are for looks and warmth. Prayer shawls are for comfort, faith and warmth.


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## Elizabethan (Apr 6, 2012)

I will keep you in my prayers Marstamper ♥



Marstamper said:


> I have always wanted a prayer shawl. I have recurrent thyroid cancer that is in my lymph nodes, so could really use prayers.
> One day, I will make me one, if I can figure it out. Lol


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## Pocahontas (Apr 15, 2011)

BarbaraSD said:


> bpj said:
> 
> 
> > Yes, we in Georgia, say :"Bless your heart" snd its slways said just like we would say I like you. Most that it is said to, return with a thank you.
> ...


Yes, sometimes it is sort of 'tongue in cheek'. But most of the time it is truly an expression of empathetic kindness.


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## blizz61 (Jul 5, 2011)

Shawls are popular with little girls and all the rest of us at any age. Don't let one person's opinion ruin your day.


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## chickkie (Oct 26, 2011)

I've been reading the posts and it seems that some people are confusing the issue. Not all shawls are prayer shawls, but any shawl can be a prayer shawl. I have shawls that I have made for myself and they are just shawls. A prayer shawl is made for someone else, wrapping prayers and good wishes into the stitches as you are doing them.


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

It's surprising what you can get away with. One time I took my daughter and her friends to Six Flags. One of the girls lost her shoe on a water ride. I let her wear mine and spent the day walking around in my socks! It was kind of fun! No one even noticed - as far as I could tell. Boy, were those socks dirty!!


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## chickkie (Oct 26, 2011)

loisdenise said:


> CalifJane said:
> 
> 
> > I love the look of shawls but never have been able to keep one on . I have a friend who always wears one and looks so elegant and classy. I have been tempted to try one of the beautiful shawls you ladies are making. Maybe I should invest in one of the shawl picks. In the winter I keep a cowl or scarf around my neck. Even though I don't comment on the work everyone does, I love it all and admire it.
> ...


Those little crocheted pins were made to pin inside your coat and then when you took your scarf off, you put it in the ring part of the pin so your scarf was always with your coat. There was a little poem to go with them, which I've forgotten.


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## Etbit (Jul 23, 2011)

I have knitted 17 shawls for myself and friends and we love wearing them every chance we can. They are so wonderfully elegant. Just wear yours with pride.


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## Gloria Hall (Apr 6, 2011)

Haven't read all the responses but shawls are in good taste- appropriate dress --comfortable and make you feel good. I've made a couple from Lion Brand yarn and let them replace a coat as they are warm and soooo comfortable. The prayer shawls have given so much comfort to the maker and the receiver that hostile remarks should not be tolerated.. i agree w/ last comment--Give your shawl and make her humble!!!


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## LindY G (Dec 2, 2011)

Well mam, I am SO honored that you believe me to be too young to wear shawls. Thank you very much.
Then continue to wear them, take her words as a compliment, no matter how she means it.


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## LindY G (Dec 2, 2011)

I love shawls!!!


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## Hannelore (Oct 26, 2011)

LadyLibrarian said:


> I love to knit prayer shawls. I have some shawls but don't wear them b/c a lady at my church keeps telling me they are for old people and laughs cause I bought one. She is 84 so don't know when she will think she is old.
> I believe I know how everyone here feels about them they are lovely. I need some feedback on some "nice" comebacks for her..


Why does she think they are just for old people? I know some young people who wear shawls because they are elegant and easy to change styles with. I like them as well, and I am 62 so I guess in this lady's eyes I must be old. Eveyone has their own taste and I guess she grew up in an era when OLD people sat around with shawls. Keep on making your prayer shawls and think of the good you are doing. :thumbup:


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## Tashi (Aug 12, 2011)

Oh it is all in the way one wears them. As triangles draped straight they can be " elderly looking" . However pinned and draped across the chest, loosely they can look very chic. I feel the way to go is find out what works for the wearer and make it so she will not need to fiddle and readjust the garment constantly. If in doubt look at the way women from other cultures wear shawls as they mostly do it extremely gracefully and also for practical reasons. I have loved my shawls since I was young, especially when travelling around. They are very very practical and can be beautiful. Hope these are some good reasons!!


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## teddy3656 (Nov 20, 2011)

You can make shawls and they don't have to be prayer shawls. I love giving them to people I know that have had shoulder surgery and have difficulty putting on sweaters.I made several for my mom out of Angel hair . She had shattered her left arm and right shoulder when she fell and this was painless for her to wear and keep warm. No weight on her shoulders just warmth. I wear one in the evening when I get cool and I have a lovely pin to keep it closed. My grand daughters wanted one and picked out the colors.One was red,white and blue stripes. Awsome. My grandson wanted one also. I made him one using a manly color.Likes to wear it in the evening when he watches TV. Why do you care what this lady says? Kill her with kindness. Give her a shawl.


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## Needleme (Sep 27, 2011)

Dreamweaver said:


> "Really? I always associate them with elegance. (class, luxury... you pick)"
> 
> Really? I must tell the ____________ GD's, college crowd... Daughter,,, etc. etc... you fill in the blank.
> 
> ...


Or just a slightly condescending, "Oh, really?" followed by a moment of silence, then a slightly puzzled look as if you are really stretching your patience to talk with this moron. 
Then, ever so quietly, lean forward and whisper in a 'helpful but I am so embarrassed for you' kind of whisper, " You know, you've got something hanging from your nose," and watch her clasp her hand to her nose and scurry away.


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## dotcarp2000 (Sep 5, 2011)

We have a prayer shawl ministry to give shawls to those who are ill with an end stage disease. We pray over them, attach a printed prayer for those we're giving them to, and will even take orders for them. No need to have a comeback with that sweet little lady--just a prayer for her


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

My goodness - all this talk of vicious replies to an 84-year old woman - about a prayer shawl! And weren't they at church?!!! Maybe some prayer should go into consideration of a kinder response to an old lady. I'm really kind of shocked at the anger and intolerance, considering the woman is 84 years old - and it's a PRAYER SHAWL. We've all had grandmothers, and a lot of us are grandmothers ourselves. Where's the compassion, the kindness, the respect?


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## YorkieMama (Mar 6, 2012)

I have read all the responses with great interest. I am 63, 64 in the fall, and have always been of the opinion that one should wear what one loves in colors that they love. Personally, I have always loved shawls, capes, ruffles and glitz. I wear them every chance I get. 
I am currently attending College to study Fashion Design, I also work 50 - 60 hours a week. I have spent this whole year studying the fashions of history from the early Egyptians to 2012. One thing I have learned is that there is nothing new, it has all been done. 
The most important thing about today's fashion is that you have your own personal style, wear it with assurance, keep an open mind, and ENJOY yourself.
As for the 84 yr old woman who made the tasteless remark, the very best response is "Thank you for noticing my beautiful shawl, I just love it. Bless your Heart, would you like one, they are so comfortable. I would gladly make you a prayer shawl." Don't take comments like this to heart, continue to wear your lovely shawl with confidence and pleasure. It is YOUR thing, just be the beautiful soul that you are.


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## nancyk (Aug 2, 2011)

I am 65 years old and will be 66 in July. I don't care who knows how old I am. It's easy enough to find out.
What completely throws me is why people are all so wrapped up in what other people think. They will think whatever it is (good or bad) without any help from the target person.


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## nancyk (Aug 2, 2011)

I am 65 years old and will be 66 in July. I don't care who knows how old I am. It's easy enough to find out.
What completely throws me is why people are all so wrapped up in what other people think. They will think whatever it is (good or bad) without any help from the target person.


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## Pegasus (Aug 12, 2011)

Knitaddict said:


> Yes, when I moved to Georgia, a southern friend told me the way that her mama can slap you in the face before you knew she was even upset. And that was her way...
> 
> Later on, I met her and she said, "Don't you look nice... bless your heart"... I was never sure what she meant by that! ;-)
> 
> ...


Actually, Knitaddict, that's exactly the usage I was thinking of. And yes, Barbara, that's exactly what it is. Let *her* wait for the other shoe to drop.


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## firstnline (Jan 20, 2012)

Hi Lady,
I'm sorry I was'nt to protect you from that insecure person. That person probably looks like 84 and I would have ask her what is your point empty head? lol


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## RavinRed (Apr 18, 2011)

I wear shawls all the time and do not consider myself old...you go for it girl!


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## Lindylou22 (Feb 15, 2012)

I would tell her that they are back in season and the talk of the town...or least the churches. Good Luck.


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## jollypolly (Apr 30, 2011)

When I was 34 I wore a yellow long satin dress with cap sleeves and a cream colored shawl to a dinner dance. Later my date proposed and we married the next year. This Easter I did not get new clothes for the holiday and i felt not prepared to dress for church, but my son sugguested I wear my pretty shawl. He said "you always look dressed up when you wear it." so I did and I felt dressed up and I think it looked nice. Why do you think that lady knows about today's fashion style? Look in Vogue magazine...bet you see shawls. Dress to please yourself. If everyone dressed alike the world would be a boring place. She is entitled to her opinion but that does not mean she is right. I would just say. "you are entitled to your opinion but I dress to please myself."


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## jollypolly (Apr 30, 2011)

bonbf3 said:


> My goodness - all this talk of vicious replies to an 84-year old woman - about a prayer shawl! And weren't they at church?!!! Maybe some prayer should go into consideration of a kinder response to an old lady. I'm really kind of shocked at the anger and intolerance, considering the woman is 84 years old - and it's a PRAYER SHAWL. We've all had grandmothers, and a lot of us are grandmothers ourselves. Where's the compassion, the kindness, the respect?


Well said! I wish I had more patience especially with older people, but I try.


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## Tashi (Aug 12, 2011)

Hopefully we will all reach 84 years in the future. I know my mother is edgy when she is in a lot of pain.


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## jollypolly (Apr 30, 2011)

Let me tell you the 3 rudest people I have recently met. A lady had crochet a beautiful shawl made with fine yarn and a lace pattern. She was obviously talented and the shawl was beautiful. The lady who saw it said it looked like a table cloth. Now, it did NOT but even if it had looked like a table cloth why would anyone say that! Today I tried to help a lady in a quilt shop and she turned to her friend and said "I'm ignoring her but I'll look at her and act like I'm listening." I laughed and Said " I've given good advice befor and been ignored." still, she was not kind. Third, my relative said, "You don't miss your mother do you?" my mom passed away two months ago. I said "Of course I miss my mother. What makes you think I don't?" she just said "I don't know". My opinion? Some people are nuts!


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## flitri (Jun 13, 2011)

My sons' girlfriend is only 29 and she loves shawls to wear out on a chilly night in the summer. Tell this lady that age is just in the mind and wear what you like when you like. I have always done this and I have had things said to me but I ignored the people who said them or told them "when you pay for my clothes and dress me that is when you can tell me what to wear and how to wear it".


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## meran (May 29, 2011)

Well, I just Love them!!


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## meran (May 29, 2011)

blizz61 said:


> Shawls are popular with little girls and all the rest of us at any age. Don't let one person's opinion ruin your day.


No matter how hold we are, there is still a little girl deep in every one of us.


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## Tennessee.Gal (Mar 11, 2012)

bonbf3 said:


> My goodness - all this talk of vicious replies to an 84-year old woman - about a prayer shawl! And weren't they at church?!!! Maybe some prayer should go into consideration of a kinder response to an old lady. I'm really kind of shocked at the anger and intolerance, considering the woman is 84 years old - and it's a PRAYER SHAWL. We've all had grandmothers, and a lot of us are grandmothers ourselves. Where's the compassion, the kindness, the respect?


I agree, anyone who is 84 should certainly possess it!


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## Tennessee.Gal (Mar 11, 2012)

Baker Bear said:


> First off I crocheted a Prayer Shawl for my 17 year old Grand daughter who loves it. Next food for thought: How can anyone possibly charge for a gift of prayer???? It is not a prayer if you have to pay for IT!!!! Enough said!


I think it was a typo -- "bought" should have been "brought", as in bringing the prayer shawl to church.


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## Tennessee.Gal (Mar 11, 2012)

BC said:


> take it as a compliment. She may be complimenting your youth and telling you there is plenty of time to be an old lady. I knit and wear lace shawls anywhere and everywhere. Love to make and wear them - so warm. I am always surprised at how warm a light weight lace scarf/shawl is. Wrap one around her dear shoulders and tell her you would love to give it to her. Say a prayer with her when she accepts.


I do not agree. I would not give something to anyone who was rude to me.


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## linda09 (Dec 21, 2011)

So many people say rude or hurtful things without realising it. My brother always says "The mouth was open but Mr Brain was not at home."


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## Rosy B (Mar 16, 2012)

I love the sentiment behind making and receiving a prayer shawl even though I'm not particularly religious. Shawls in general though are one of those items of clothing that goes in and out of fashion. In the 70s we all wore crocheted ponchos and now variations of them are back in fashion again. Cardigans used to be a casual garment that you wouldn't dream of wearing if you were "dressed up" yet now they can be worn whenever you like. Any well dressed woman wouldn't have left the house without a shawl and hat in the past but they did acquire a "little old lady" image, especially when knitted or crocheted in thick warm yarn and images of Victorian beggars also spring to mind. Nowadays they are in different shapes, weights and designs and if you call it a stole, wrap or whatever it is considered fashionable. I sit with a fleece blanket round my shoulders when I'm cold in doors and you can't get much more "old lady" than that. A lovely shawl would be a more elegant solution so I'm going to add that to my growing list of projects for the future.


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

jollypolly said:


> bonbf3 said:
> 
> 
> > My goodness - all this talk of vicious replies to an 84-year old woman - about a prayer shawl! And weren't they at church?!!! Maybe some prayer should go into consideration of a kinder response to an old lady. I'm really kind of shocked at the anger and intolerance, considering the woman is 84 years old - and it's a PRAYER SHAWL. We've all had grandmothers, and a lot of us are grandmothers ourselves. Where's the compassion, the kindness, the respect?
> ...


I'm like you - I could use more patience, too.


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

YorkieMama said:


> I have read all the responses with great interest. I am 63, 64 in the fall, and have always been of the opinion that one should wear what one loves in colors that they love. Personally, I have always loved shawls, capes, ruffles and glitz. I wear them every chance I get.
> I am currently attending College to study Fashion Design, I also work 50 - 60 hours a week. I have spent this whole year studying the fashions of history from the early Egyptians to 2012. One thing I have learned is that there is nothing new, it has all been done.
> The most important thing about today's fashion is that you have your own personal style, wear it with assurance, keep an open mind, and ENJOY yourself.
> As for the 84 yr old woman who made the tasteless remark, the very best response is "Thank you for noticing my beautiful shawl, I just love it. Bless your Heart, would you like one, they are so comfortable. I would gladly make you a prayer shawl." Don't take comments like this to heart, continue to wear your lovely shawl with confidence and pleasure. It is YOUR thing, just be the beautiful soul that you are.


That's very good advice. You sound like a pretty amazing person!


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

Tashi said:


> Hopefully we will all reach 84 years in the future. I know my mother is edgy when she is in a lot of pain.


That's a good goal - 84! Another good point you make is about your mother being in pain. We never know what burdens others are quietly bearing.


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## LilgirlCA (Jan 22, 2011)

How about developing selective hearing and just pretend that you did not hear her comment. Being ignored often is more effective than a smart comment.

Shawls are great - elegant even when you are in jeans. I have worn them for years.


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## kduran (Feb 15, 2011)

Certainly people should wear what they want to, but to me a woman wrapped in anything but a very dressy, sparkley shawl (or very small scarf-like one) looks old and/or like a beggar. I can't help these associations. Perhaps it's the Disney movies I grew up with. I like the look of them laid out or on a line, but a person wrapped--no.


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## rereschatz (May 9, 2011)

Yes, I'm from the south and when I say Bless your heart, it's in response to someone that was less than complimentary to me or it is what I say instead of what I'd really like to say.


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## daralene (Feb 27, 2012)

Tennessee.Gal said:


> BC said:
> 
> 
> > take it as a compliment. She may be complimenting your youth and telling you there is plenty of time to be an old lady. I knit and wear lace shawls anywhere and everywhere. Love to make and wear them - so warm. I am always surprised at how warm a light weight lace scarf/shawl is. Wrap one around her dear shoulders and tell her you would love to give it to her. Say a prayer with her when she accepts.
> ...


I just think we should allow people to wear what they want. I wouldn't put one around her shoulders as she doesn't like them and wouldn't wear it. It's difficult when we knit as it is so personal but if the person doesn't like something, it is not something they want. That is a sweet thought about putting one around her shoulders and we need more loving people in this world, so please know that I like your idea and your intent, but it would go unappreciated. Like when you get your hair done and your hairdresser does what you didn't want. You aren't happy even though their intent was good. And after reading so many threads about knitting something really beautiful and then getting bad responses, I will make sure the person that wants it picks the pattern and the yarn. Less chance of doing all that work and having it rejected.


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## julietremain (Jul 8, 2011)

Ok....all of you who knit more shawls than I ever have.....which pattern{s} would make a great nursing shawl? My DIL is preggers!!!!
julie


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## CathyAnn (May 14, 2011)

julietremain said:


> Ok....all of you who knit more shawls than I ever have.....which pattern{s} would make a great nursing shawl? My DIL is preggers!!!!
> julie


I'd say anything that you can't see through... .!


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## Aunt Nay (Nov 25, 2011)

Jacqui, what a lovely idea! 


leftymommom said:


> She probably likes your shawls and wants one. For some strange reason, she would probably appreciate you giving her a shawl off your back more than if you knitted a shawl just for her. I guess it has to do with envy or jealousy. The next time you wear your shawl, wear one that you can part with, and if she make a sarcastic remark, Bless her with that same shawl and watch her become Humble! and very appreciative.


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## medtrans56 (Mar 13, 2011)

A lot of churches have prayer shawl groups. Our church does and I am a member. We knit or crochet shawls and while making them we individually pray while doing it. Then when it is finished we bring it to a group meeting and everyone in the group prays over it and then we will have a Sunday at church that they are all laid somewhere up front, on the alter, etc. and the whole church prays over them. They are given to people who have lost a love one, or sick, or just need a special blessing. We give them to newlyweds, new babies, etc. We try not to give one out unless it has been prayed over several times. We do not charge to make them. We look at them as a way of blessing someone in a special way.


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## knitter2 (Feb 19, 2012)

Tell this person that Prayer Shawls are the arms of God protecting the person wearing it. I belong to a Prayer Shawl Ministry in our church and everyone I've given a shawl to tells me they feel the prayers said over them. Shawls give each person comfort and knowledge that God always watches over them.


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## BarbaraSD (Mar 10, 2011)

rereschatz said:


> Yes, I'm from the south and when I say Bless your heart, it's in response to someone that was less than complimentary to me or it is what I say instead of what I'd really like to say.


That's what I thought.


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## Dish Cloth Diva (Mar 31, 2012)

I love shawls!! A friend of mine made me one and I used it alot when I have fibromalgia flare ups..


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## newquay (Apr 26, 2011)

Perhaps your comeback could be something like "so did you leave your shawl at home?"
But...we have to turn the other cheek so....perhaps just smiling at her and walking away would be the wiser thing to do.


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## Dottie Kon (Mar 29, 2012)

The receptionist at my OB-GYN doctor's office was the first one to tell me about prayer shawls. She wanted to make one and I looked up the directions for her. Someone had made one for her mom when her mom was very sick. Her mom wore the prayer shawl a lot before she passed away. Linda placed the prayer shawl across the casket where flowers would normally be placed. The woman who made it was so touched that she had done so. Linda brought it home with her and whenever she felt like she needed a hug from her mom she would wrap the shawl around her shoulders. She said her husband knew that if she was wrapped in the shawl to just leave her alone because she was sad at that moment. I was so touched that she shared this with me.


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## jjane139 (Mar 16, 2011)

I have made many prayer shawls and so have several others in our church. When we have a collection of eight or ten, our pastor blesses them during a Sunday worship service. Then we give them to people we know who are in special need of prayers and loving care. The story about the shawl placed on the coffin is the most touching one I have heard. We never know where our signs of compassion will lead or who will be comforted.


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## BobnDejasMom (Jun 2, 2011)

The topic on allfreeknitting.com today is shawls and ponchos.


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## BobnDejasMom (Jun 2, 2011)

BarbaraSD said:


> rereschatz said:
> 
> 
> > Yes, I'm from the south and when I say Bless your heart, it's in response to someone that was less than complimentary to me or it is what I say instead of what I'd really like to say.
> ...


I don't think it's just in the south. And I know people who say "Isn't that interesting?" when what they mean is "Who cares?" They intend it as a way to put you down and make you feel stupid.
That's one of the things I don't always like about email...you can't hear the tone of the other person's voice or their facial expression.


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## Patikins (Mar 2, 2012)

I wear shawls everywhere, with very positive comments from young to old (I'm 55). Rude people are usually insecure or jealous.


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## Lactknitter (Jun 12, 2011)

Thank you, sweetsue, for the link. Wonderful web site.

Some folks just can't stand to see others happily engaged in activities they love, wear the styles they like and that they are creative. Negativity can be so hurtful and counterproductive. My response to her might be "Now why on earth would you say that?" or "Would you like me to make one for you?"


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## dalex1945 (Sep 28, 2011)

Amen!


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## Barbara Spoo (Jan 23, 2011)

I would tell her that the shawl around my shoulders reminds me that God's arms are around me too. And if ever she needs a "hug" there is a shawl available for her too.


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## jjane139 (Mar 16, 2011)

I never wear shawls because I seldom have a free hand to manage one. I like clothes that I can put on and know that they will stay put. Extra things like scarves and shawls, things that flutter or that can fall off and get lost, are not for me. I do have one small shawl of thin wool that I bought in Russia years ago. It is handy in summer when the ceiling fans at church are whirling madly and cooling me just a tad too much. Shawls, as scarves do, too, add a beautiful, feminine touch that I like to see on others.


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## KEgan (Feb 15, 2012)

I have a prayer shawl book and I don't see any difference between that and a regular shawl.

Just don't tell them it's a prayer shawl.


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## firstnline (Jan 20, 2012)

I love shawls. I'm trying to get up the nerve to make an Ashton shawl, I have the yarn and everything I need to make the shawl but the charts are initimating. So right now I'm just wishing to get started. lol


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## KEgan (Feb 15, 2012)

I hate charts.


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## IndigoSpinner (Jul 9, 2011)

I got into this late and didn't read all the posts, but Kate Middleton (remember her? She married Prince William last year?) is famous for wearing a large, triangular shawl with a ruffle around it to go to the store before her wedding. One of the copies of it is called the Milk Run Shawl.

If it's good enough for her, it's good enough for me.


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## laskalady (Mar 1, 2012)

LadyLibrarian said:


> I love to knit prayer shawls. I have some shawls but don't wear them b/c a lady at my church keeps telling me they are for old people and laughs cause I bought one. She is 84 so don't know when she will think she is old.
> I believe I know how everyone here feels about them they are lovely. I need some feedback on some "nice" comebacks for her..


Prayer shawls are making a comeback from "old lady times". They are meant to show love to someone who is hurting, grieving or ill. It is a remembrance shawl and don't let anyone make fun of you wearing one or giving one. They are pure LOVE!


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## IndigoSpinner (Jul 9, 2011)

My daughter had a suden health problem and was in the hospitalfo a few days, and I gave her a triangular shawl. She said it was so cold in there and the shawl saved her life. It's flexible warmth. Wrap it around you or pull it overyou while you sleep.

They're also great to keep in the car during the summer for chilly restaurants and movies.


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## BobnDejasMom (Jun 2, 2011)

They are great to throw on top of the blankets in bed...especially if just your feet or just your shoulders are a little chilly.
I wish I had one with me last time I was in the hospital.


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## laskalady (Mar 1, 2012)

jjane139 said:


> I never wear shawls because I seldom have a free hand to manage one. I like clothes that I can put on and know that they will stay put. Extra things like scarves and shawls, things that flutter or that can fall off and get lost, are not for me. I do have one small shawl of thin wool that I bought in Russia years ago. It is handy in summer when the ceiling fans at church are whirling madly and cooling me just a tad too much. Shawls, as scarves do, too, add a beautiful, feminine touch that I like to see on others.


Look on line for shawl pins. There are all kinds and they hold the shawl together so you don't need hands to hold it. They are also a neat fashion statement


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## knittertwo (Feb 6, 2011)

I"m with you Grandma Jan!


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## mavisb (Apr 18, 2011)

I'm with Dreamweaver, it is even what my sister would say as well, "Your Point" she probably wouldn't know how to respond. Just come out and say it when she says it and hold you head up high.


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