# I have to give up my baby Taz



## Keepingbusy (Dec 24, 2012)

My husband of 18 years has decided that I am useless and he is leaving. I am on disability and where I am going to be able to afford to live doesn't allow animals and I won't be able to take him outside.

I found him at the APA and I know they will take him back and he'll be snapped up.

I'm just going to miss him so much.


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## dianes1717 (May 24, 2013)

I am so sorry that you are having to go through this. Do you have a trusted family member, friend or spiritual leader that can help you navigate this crisis? I hope so because it's really hard to do it solo. 
My thoughts are with you.


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## Keepingbusy (Dec 24, 2012)

I have a couple from my church, thank you so much for being concerned.


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## wendyacz (Aug 13, 2011)

Taz is a cutie, and I'm so sorry that you are forced to give up your furbaby under such a stressful time...you'll always have support here, please stay in touch and let us know how you're doing. Don't allow you partners' attitude to downgrade your worthiness or self-esteem.

If I was able, I would adopt Taz into our clan, I'm sure you'll find a good situation for him! Hugs and Prayers


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## Keepingbusy (Dec 24, 2012)

Thank you.


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## crafterwantabe (Feb 26, 2013)

So sorry to hear your going through this difficult situation. Prayers for you. Wishing you the best. And a lovely home for your sweet Taz. Hugs


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## no1girl (Sep 4, 2012)

what a tragedy..........I do feel for you. If I were close I would give you little one a loving home..alas!!! I am far far away.


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## run4fittness (May 22, 2011)

I am sorry this is happening to you and Taz. {{hugs}}


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## KroSha (Oct 25, 2013)

Perhaps you could treat Taz as an emotional therapy dog, considering your disability - - then, according to the A.D.A., you CAN have a pet in places where no pets are allowed.

They now make "litter boxes" for dogs - - it would be a problem for larger dogs, but not for your little guy.

You may have already exhausted this possibility, but do you maybe have any friends who could adopt him so that you could have visitation ???
__________


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## gigi 722 (Oct 25, 2011)

May both of you find loving homes.


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## Runner Girl (Mar 27, 2013)

I'm so sorry to hear of your situation. As one of the other KPer's mentioned, maybe Taz can go with you as a therapy or "comfort" dog, given your disability status. Another option is to give Taz to a close friend or family member. Please know that we are here for you as you maneuver this new journey. My heart goes out to you.


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## Keepingbusy (Dec 24, 2012)

crafterwantabe said:


> So sorry to hear your going through this difficult situation. Prayers for you. Wishing you the best. And a lovely home for your sweet Taz. Hugs


Thank you for your prayers, they are needed!


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## Keepingbusy (Dec 24, 2012)

no1girl said:


> what a tragedy..........I do feel for you. If I were close I would give you little one a loving home..alas!!! I am far far away.


Yes, tragedy describes this situation well. Yes Australia is far far away, couldn't even make a midway point, but I thank you for your kindness.


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## Keepingbusy (Dec 24, 2012)

run4fittness said:


> I am sorry this is happening to you and Taz. {{hugs}}


Thank you, right now I'll take all the hugs I can get!


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## Keepingbusy (Dec 24, 2012)

gigi 722 said:


> May both of you find loving homes.


Thank you.


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## Keepingbusy (Dec 24, 2012)

KroSha said:


> Perhaps you could treat Taz as an emotional therapy dog, considering your disability - - then, according to the A.D.A., you CAN have a pet in places where no pets are allowed.
> 
> They now make "litter boxes" for dogs - - it would be a problem for larger dogs, but not for your little guy.
> 
> ...


My daughter had suggested that option I haven't had the "brain power" to do it. This all came about in the 4th and the first week he changed his mind 3 times back and forth.

I will look into that possibility, thank you.

There is a family he has attached to enough that I know it would be a good fit, but they don't feel that they can afford him(pastor and family, are truly short on money)

This has given me some hope, thank you.


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## Keepingbusy (Dec 24, 2012)

Runner Girl said:


> I'm so sorry to hear of your situation. As one of the other KPer's mentioned, maybe Taz can go with you as a therapy or "comfort" dog, given your disability status. Another option is to give Taz to a close friend or family member. Please know that we are here for you as you maneuver this new journey. My heart goes out to you.


Thank you, I will be looking into getting him status as an emotional support, companion/therapy dog.

The family that would have been a great fit aren't able to afford his card and I appreciate their honesty.


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## KroSha (Oct 25, 2013)

Keepingbusy said:


> My daughter had suggested that option I haven't had the "brain power" to do it. This all came about in the 4th and the first week he changed his mind 3 times back and forth.
> 
> I will look into that possibility, thank you.
> 
> ...


Do you by any chance see a psychiatrist or psychologist - - they can validate an A.D.A. emotional support dog.

According to the ADA, you don't have to reveal YOUR medical condition, you just have to state that the dog performs a service for you. The only time that you need validation is for an emotional support dog when you're going to fly - - those flying with service animals do not need that validation.

My mom rescued a chihuahua and she was too arthritic and Bionic (prosthetic replacements) to take him for walks, so she used a small dog litter pan with newspaper for eight years. He trained to it really easily and it was a perfectly functional situation - - it was just important to pick up the newspaper pretty promptly after a poop - - for odor control.
__________


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## dianes1717 (May 24, 2013)

I'm sending you another hug and support for you in this terrible situation. 
When I went through my "situations" early in life I visualized the following: Sometimes when you are on the path of life you come up to a large pile of "sh.." in the road that you can't seem to go around. There is only one thing to do - climb your way to the other side of the pile and keep on going. When you get to the other side take a little time to reflect and you will discover that you are stronger and more resourceful that you ever knew possible. This thought has been tested to be true and has helped me get through many of the life "situations" that have temporarily blocked my path. 
You are strong and you will get through this too.


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## KroSha (Oct 25, 2013)

The final ADA rules have become a little more rigid than they used to be - - for example they say now that only dogs can be service animals, with the exception of miniature horses in some special circumstances.

They differentiate between a service dog for calming someone's anxiety from PTSD:

*"Service animals are defined as dogs that are individually trained to do work or perform tasks for people with disabilities. Examples of such work or tasks include guiding people who are blind, alerting people who are deaf, pulling a wheelchair, alerting and protecting a person who is having a seizure, reminding a person with mental illness to take prescribed medications, calming a person with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) during an anxiety attack, or performing other duties"*

and comfort/emotional support only:

*"Dogs whose sole function is to provide comfort or emotional support do not qualify as service animals under the ADA."*

*I'm sure that you have some form of PTSD as a result of this upheaval of your husband walking out on you (especially the in-&-out indecision after 18 years) - - I'd be sure to see a doctor about your level of anxiety (VERY HIGH) !!!*

https://www.ada.gov/service_animals_2010.htm
__________


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## Cocoa (Jul 23, 2012)

I am so sorry for you. Take some comfort in knowing he will be placed in a good home.


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## wlk4fun647 (Apr 17, 2011)

I'm so sorry that you are being put thru all this stress at this time. I can see how much Taz loves you and I can't imagine what you are facing... Please accept my deepest sympathy and prayers that things will work out for the better. {{{{{hugs}}}}}


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## mzmom1 (Mar 4, 2011)

I feel for you, keepingbusy. That's a really traumatic situation to go through, and I'm very sorry you can't keep Taz. As for the husband, you are better off without such a toxic person in your life. It will be a big adjustment for you, but if you can, try to be open to new friendships as opportunities arise at your new place. And stay in touch with us on KP, you can tell us what's on your mind and we won't judge. Each of us has our cross to bear.


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## Nancy Deak (May 5, 2014)

Emotional support dogs are different than service dogs. Do a Google search and you will find lots of helpful information. You can have your dog certified online easily.


"Emotional support dogs are dogs that provide comfort and support in forms of affection and companionship for an individual suffering from various mental and emotional conditions. An emotional support dog is not required to perform any specific tasks for a disability like service dogs are."


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## Keepingbusy (Dec 24, 2012)

I just want to thank everyone who has commented and offered great advice, support and hugs. 

I sat and did a monthly budget based solely on my disability pay and the bottom line is I won't be able to afford the food etc. and medical care for him. I've done some extensive searching and there aren't many of any places in Missouri that provide help with food and supplies. There are a lot for spay and neuter which isn't a need. 

The SPA will be a much better alternative for him. I will probably take him this week.


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## Nancy Deak (May 5, 2014)

Please don't do anything without talking to a lawyer. After 18 years and given your disability, you should be entitled to spousal support (alimony). Surely there are lawyers where you live that help people who can't afford one. Do not leave your home either until after talking to a lawyer. Once you leave you may lose certain rights. I have worked in family law for many years, but not in your state. Talking to a lawyer may be more important than you know. 

If you can't locate a lawyer, call your state bar association and ask them for a referral.

Don't let him take your power away. I know this is hard and you are emotionally hurt and overwhelmed. Stay strong and protect your rights. There will be plenty of time to fall apart later.


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## Nancy Deak (May 5, 2014)

This may help.

Missouri.FreeLegalAnswers.org
Missouri.FreeLegalAnswers.org is a free service for low-income Missouri residents who think they cannot afford a lawyer to get free legal advice about non-criminal problems from volunteer lawyers. Visit Missouri.FreeLegalAnswers.org today to see if you qualify for this service. Free legal answers online, anytime at Missouri.FreeLegalAnswers.org.


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## Nancy Deak (May 5, 2014)

Or this.

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## scumbugusa (Oct 10, 2011)

I am so sorry that you married a louse, and heartbroken that you have to leave Taz to a new family.

Remember you are not worthless. You are a strong woman.


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## pinkwitch (Mar 24, 2012)

So sorry for your heartache, as already posted by KroSha, registering dogs (or other animals, I have seen mini horses at my very urban hospital) for service or emotional support has become more complicated. And there are a LOT of disreputable people & websites ready to take your money for certifying your dog/pet who don't have the legal authority to do so. Issuing fake certificates for certified emotional support animals has become a huge scam trap.

I would suggest checking with local vets to see if they know the proper application procedure, but many of them unfortunately don't. You could check with rescue shelters to see if they know the legitimate way to certify an animal.
Fingers crossed for you


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## scoobaybay (Sep 25, 2013)

Keepingbusy said:


> My husband of 18 years has decided that I am useless and he is leaving. I am on disability and where I am going to be able to afford to live doesn't allow animals and I won't be able to take him outside.
> 
> I found him at the APA and I know they will take him back and he'll be snapped up.
> 
> I'm just going to miss him so much.


Has Taz found a new home?


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## scoobaybay (Sep 25, 2013)

Has Taz found a home?


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## Keepingbusy (Dec 24, 2012)

First of all, I would love to thank each and everyone that has commented, sent advice and hugs.

I haven't responded before because I didn't have access to internet.

Since I originally posted, I have:

Found a wonderful senior apartment complex that had an opening.

With the help of my family and my church family, I am moved in and starting to unpack.

Internet was set up yesterday.

But the very best new is..... Not only did I get to keep Taz, but the management encouraged me to keep him!

I did have to take my cat Smokey to the APA that we adopted him from, but he has already been adopted.

All accomplished one day less than a month from my husband's "wonderful ????" news!


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## KroSha (Oct 25, 2013)

Keepingbusy said:


> First of all, I would love to thank each and everyone that has commented, sent advice and hugs.
> 
> I haven't responded before because I didn't have access to internet.
> 
> ...


It's too bad about Smokey, but at least he has been rehomed and you seem to have found the perfect place for you and Taz.

You sound like you have enough health issues that might perpetuate, and if you're not better off without that "POOR EXCUSE FOR A MAN" right now, you'll certainly be glad that you don't have to deal with him in the future !!!
__________


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## wlk4fun647 (Apr 17, 2011)

Except for loosing Smokey, a happy ending~


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