# Here we go again



## Johna (May 7, 2012)

I just found out my sister's granddaughter is having a baby. Since I made several things for my granddaughter's baby, It was requested that I knit/crochet something for the baby-to-be
My question - this particular person never kept in touch with me. She lives in another state. So I don't feel that I need to make anything for her. Her mother crochets. Am I being petty.
Johna


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## speni (Nov 9, 2012)

its entirely up to you, you don't have to


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## disgo (Mar 2, 2013)

Who asked? And it was a request so go with your gut feeling when you said they have never kept in touch IMO.


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## taborhills (Sep 8, 2012)

If it's a girl, you could make a headband with a flower, have fun doing it and not stress yourself.

If it's a boy (or a girl), how about a ball? See Ravelry. Easy and quick.


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## bobctwn65 (Jul 27, 2012)

but....it would make you a better person if you did...it's for the sweet little baby....


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## Chrissy (May 3, 2011)

Johna said:


> I just found out my sister's granddaughter is having a baby. Since I made several things for my granddaughter's baby, It was requested that I knit/crochet something for the baby-to-be
> My question - this particular person never kept in touch with me. She lives in another state. So I don't feel that I need to make anything for her. Her mother crochets. Am I being petty.
> Johna


No, you are not being petty. Its entirely up to you who you make things for (or not) and if that person is not in regular contact and in another State, why should you?


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## Buttons (Feb 11, 2011)

I wouldn't knit her nothing as your sister knows how to crochet. Its not up to you to do anything. I feel like this, if she hasn't kept in touch with you before, shes not going to keep in touch after. You might get a thank you and never here from her again. Its your choice, not mine. I wish you the best of luck in deciding what to do. I know what my answer is, now its up to you, as I said.


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## Mandonan (Nov 7, 2011)

If it were me I would make something small, maybe a hat and booties to keep the peace and good feelings with your sister. Those tiny tennies that were posted here a while ago are darling, fun to make and can be made from scraps of yarn.


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## fibermcgivver (Dec 18, 2012)

It would seem YOU should be the one to decide what kind of gift to get (or not). Many young persons today are not good about keeping in touch or thanking those that give gifts.... sad :thumbdown:


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## Johna (May 7, 2012)

I don't think I will make her anything. Besides, I am still busy making things for MY great grand baby. toys etc.
Johna


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## Rossi (May 15, 2011)

My husband asked me to knit something for a neighbour's baby. I was not keen but knitted a little cardigan. The new mother was very appreciative and I was glad that I had made the effort. If you have time, give it a go, but if not please don't feel guilty.


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## dorasask (Feb 5, 2013)

I would also make something-it's for the BABY not the parents and you never know this might start a hello!!!


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## debsu (Jul 26, 2011)

I wouldn't make her anything. I WOULD purchase the baby a gift IF I wanted to. You have no obligation to her at all! I would save my needlework for those who cared enough about me to keep in touch!


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## AngieR (Jul 22, 2013)

Since it was requested, I would make something. Depending on how I felt, it would either be something simple or a set. I think you will feel better making something rather than not at all. As someone said, families do "forget" to keep in touch and get involved in their own lives. This would be something for them to remember you.


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## Buttons (Feb 11, 2011)

Johna said:


> I don't think I will make her anything. Besides, I am still busy making things for MY great grand baby. toys etc.
> Johna


Your great grand baby comes first. Both my niece and nephew's wife had babies two weeks apart and it was tough as I knitted them each a box of everything. There still was much more that I wanted to do but I wanted to knit for my grand babies too. I think you made the right decision and don't regret it.


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## taborhills (Sep 8, 2012)

It is possible that the young mother is fond of you but doesn't show it. It really never hurts to be generous. If it were I, I would probably make *something*. I
don't like to harbor resentment. I would not make a point of snubbing a request. But I would not do any very elaborate blanket or fancy set. I would try to find something that would be "so cute!" but not too time-consuming.


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## Knitophile (Oct 22, 2012)

Did your sister crochet anything for your grand-daughter? In any event, it is up to you but you may wish to take that into consideration. If someone were to suggest, out of the blue, that I knit something for someone else, my inclination would be a flat "no". However, if there were extenuating circumstances, I would be inclined to weigh them before responding.


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## SueJoyceTn (Aug 9, 2011)

Your sister may have asked you to make something because she wants the baby to have an heirloom from you. Handmade items,knit or crochet can not only knit yarn togeher but can knit the ties and history of family's together. Unless you can consider it an act of love instead of a burden you are under no obligation to make the baby a gift.


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## indinana (Dec 13, 2013)

At a distant cousin's funeral the kids asked my Mother to give up her gravesite so they could bury their mother. They also did not keep in touch with any of the family. My Mother respectfully declined and slept peacefully. Going to the funeral was all she felt she needed to do. We all must make the decision we feel is right for us.


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## AuntKnitty (Apr 10, 2011)

Who made the request? Your sister or ? That would make the difference for me. If my sister or best friend or someone I knew well, asked me, I probably would regardless of the relationship with the receiver.


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## Ellemck (Mar 7, 2011)

Make a little bib that has printed on it, "My great-aunt Johna made this for me".

Has your sister made anything for your grandchildren?

Elle


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## Ms knit a lot (Mar 19, 2011)

Do you have a relationship with the Mother of the baby? Or better yet do what is in your heart. Do what feels right to you

My step-daughter whom I never have meet is getting married soon. She has not spoken to her father in almost 10 years. So as you can guess we are not invited to the wedding.
However we are sending a gift to her and her fiancé , it just feels right to acknowledge their day.

Families that feel together, heal together. 
&#8213; Christina G. Hibbert Psy.D.


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## Grandma Jan (Apr 6, 2011)

Who made the request would make the decision for me. It is a gift for the person who wants it, obviously.


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## Edwardian (Dec 14, 2013)

If you are a really fast knitter, and enjoy knitting, I think it would be nice to make something - a little cardigan or hat and booties. People often make things for complete strangers and never ever get to see their projects being worn or even get a note of thanks, but you do know this person and I think it will create a bond; however, if asked to knit for her again I would then say you are busy knitting for your own grandchildren. You never know, that little gift could heal a family rift.


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## RosieC (Feb 14, 2012)

speni said:


> its entirely up to you, you don't have to


I agree. Also, would you normally send a gift once the baby is born or if there is a baby shower ? If so, why not make something sweet, inexpensive and simple as your gift to the baby. If you would not have sent a gift, I think I would just stand by and keep it that way.


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## Homeshppr (Feb 28, 2011)

I agree--it's up to you. My only advice is: If you decide to knit something, do it with no expectations of ever knowing whether your gift was worn or even appreciated.


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## BreJ (Jan 26, 2014)

If you do decide to knit something how about a baby surprise jacket!


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## Colorado knits (Jul 6, 2011)

I don't knit for people who do not appreciate it, nor those who won't take care of it. I likely would not knit for people who do not stay in touch with me.

I love to make items for a great-niece (but have to use acrylic yarn as she won't give them careful care). I have just a few people who really appreciate the items. 

A few people love and appreciate dishcloths. 

I just mailed a pair of fingerless mitts to a niece who has been very ill. She loves and appreciates anything I make. She takes care of things, so this pair of mitts is made from expensive sock yarn.


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## LAURA C (Jan 21, 2013)

no where is it written in stone that we "HAVE" to make something. We put ourselves on the guilt trip and end up making things we really do not want to. Knitting is supposed to be for pleasure not stress, If your gut feeling is you do not want to then by all means don't! I crocheted a baby blanket for a friend's ggd. The recipient lives out of state and never acknowledged receiving the blanket. She was not happy. Why put yourself through that?


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## run4fittness (May 22, 2011)

I would make something small and if they replied and loved it I would probably make something else.


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## bwtyer (Oct 31, 2012)

You could just knit up a pair of booties and a little cap if you feel as if you should do something- big difference between making something for your very own great GD and something for a your sister's. Since your sister crochets, if anything would ever be said, you can always say - well - she crochets so I knew she would be getting handmade items already.... Just do as you feel- no right and no wrong.


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## ssusan (May 3, 2012)

I would do it for the baby. They are so innocent and precious. And, not to mention the fact I like to knit and crochet. .


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## babsbarb (Dec 23, 2012)

It is for the Baby!! If you have time why not? It should give you pleasure. I knit a lot for charity, because I enjoy knitting and giving, even to those I don't know. But that's just me.



dorasask said:


> I would also make something-it's for the BABY not the parents and you never know this might start a hello!!!


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## Bettytut (Jan 17, 2014)

I understand how you feel. Just do yourself a favor., if you enjoy crocheting and it makes you feel good a small hat or booties would not take up to much time. The other point is yes there is another person who crotchets. Yet they are asking you. Maybe they love your work.


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## barcar (Jun 16, 2011)

I would knit a pair of easy booties for the baby and use the prettiest colors.


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## barcar (Jun 16, 2011)

I would knit a pair of easy booties for the baby and use the prettiest colors.


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## WindingRoad (May 7, 2013)

Johna said:


> I just found out my sister's granddaughter is having a baby. Since I made several things for my granddaughter's baby, It was requested that I knit/crochet something for the baby-to-be
> My question - this particular person never kept in touch with me. She lives in another state. So I don't feel that I need to make anything for her. Her mother crochets. Am I being petty.
> Johna


I guess I have to ask, Who's the bigger person here. If it's you and you wanna be then make a small gift. Wait until the baby is born and put it's name on the gift.


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## memere0211 (Nov 1, 2013)

it might open a door . . .


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## Rosette (Oct 7, 2011)

I knit for my own enjoyment and love making baby clothes, especially simple cardigans. In your position, I would make one and include a note (wrapped inside with the cardi) and say what a pleasure it has been to knit this for the new baby and the only thanks I want is a photo of the new baby, when the mother has time. Take it from there.


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## flamingo (Jun 23, 2013)

No! I'm in the same situation where I work. Last year 8 girls had babies. They were people that I directly worked with and really enjoyed being around. I made them all quilts and sweaters. This year, another crop of babies are on the way. Some are girls (I say girls because I of grandma age) I'm friends with and three if them are part of a group we call "the bad girls" who go so far as to turn their backs on you if you're not in their "clique". Each of these girls have approached we with their "orders". It was difficult because I don't like to rock the the boat, but I gently turned them down. The temperature has definitely dropped in that part of the building and will probably continue to do so as I plan on making things for my friends. There is no malice involved, but no one should feel pressured to create gifts,knowing the time and effort, not to mention money that goes into them.


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## talbotsetters (Dec 21, 2013)

flamingo said:


> No! I'm in the same situation where I work. Last year 8 girls had babies. They were people that I directly worked with and really enjoyed being around. I made them all quilts and sweaters. This year, another crop of babies are on the way. Some are girls (I say girls because I of grandma age) I'm friends with and three if them are part of a group we call "the bad girls" who go so far as to turn their backs on you if you're not in their "clique". Each of these girls have approached we with their "orders". It was difficult because I don't like to rock the the boat, but I gently turned them down. The temperature has definitely dropped in that part of the building and will probably continue to do so as I plan on making things for my friends. There is no malice involved, but no one should feel pressured to create gifts,knowing the time and effort, not to mention money that goes into them.


Brave you to turn down the bad girls! They'll be gone soon to have their babies and you probably won't see them again! People never fail to amaze me with their bare faced cheek!!


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## moke (Oct 8, 2011)

Keep the peace. Who requested it? And could it be that your knitting and crochet talent is very much admired, and much more advanced then your sister's?


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## talbotsetters (Dec 21, 2013)

Johna said:


> I just found out my sister's granddaughter is having a baby. Since I made several things for my granddaughter's baby, It was requested that I knit/crochet something for the baby-to-be
> My question - this particular person never kept in touch with me. She lives in another state. So I don't feel that I need to make anything for her. Her mother crochets. Am I being petty.
> Johna


It shows what a nice person you are that you are even considering it. I hate when people make you feel guilty about reacting in a perfectly appropriate way! If it's making you feel bad, knit something small and see if you get a thank you. I bet you won't and it will reinforce your original gut feeling. Or you could say modestly that her mother is the better knitter and you couldn't possibly compete! Otherwise, just forget about it, don't waste energy on it. Life's too short! (It's taken me 3 breakdowns and counselling to be able to say that, mind you! I'm a worrier... Xx)


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## finstock (Nov 27, 2011)

it could be whoever asked you to knit something admires your work,knit a little item because what goes around comes around(karma)


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## sandra7 (Dec 6, 2012)

did your grandchild get a special gift? If it was me and I was treated like that well sorry, but I wouldn't.


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## beachknit (Oct 25, 2011)

Johna said:


> I just found out my sister's granddaughter is having a baby. Since I made several things for my granddaughter's baby, It was requested that I knit/crochet something for the baby-to-be
> My question - this particular person never kept in touch with me. She lives in another state. So I don't feel that I need to make anything for her. Her mother crochets. Am I being petty.
> Johna


Keeping in touch requires effort from both parties of course. The gift of a sweater for the baby may re-establish a relationship. I'd want to make that attempt.


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## amberdragon (Dec 12, 2011)

i would knit something....remember it is for the baby, not for the baby's mother, or your sister.
Blessings


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## NYBev (Aug 23, 2011)

Homeshppr said:


> I agree--it's up to you. My only advice is: If you decide to knit something, do it with no expectations of ever knowing whether your gift was worn or even appreciated.


My thought too.


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## cbjlinda (May 25, 2011)

I think it is up too you what you want to do. if you enjoy knitting these things then why not " you would be knitting it for the new baby not the granddaughter .


Johna said:


> I just found out my sister's granddaughter is having a baby. Since I made several things for my granddaughter's baby, It was requested that I knit/crochet something for the baby-to-be
> My question - this particular person never kept in touch with me. She lives in another state. So I don't feel that I need to make anything for her. Her mother crochets. Am I being petty.
> Johna


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## mjo (Jul 21, 2012)

I agree with the people who say its up to you and only knit something if you choose to.
But then I think about myself and know that I may not want to make anything for this person. After all she didn't keep in touch. But then as days went by and the due date came closer I would regret not knitting something and it would bother me. So I would make something small and easy. I have a couple of favorite baby things a pair of booties and a cute bonnet that I like to make neither takes much time but the have the cute wow factor. I usually gift them with a book because I think it is never too early to give a child the gift of reading. And then I could sleep well knowing that my sisters grand baby had a gift from me. 
If nothing else your sister would appreciate it I think.


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## grandmatimestwo (Mar 30, 2011)

It is totally up to you! If you are going to send a gift, I'd make something small and send along with my good wishes.


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## Kathie (Mar 29, 2011)

It's supposed to be a gift, not an obligation. Do what you want. I love making baby things so would get pleasure out of knitting something for a baby.


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## MrsC (Jul 10, 2011)

By knitting something for the baby, maybe her mom would keep in contact. Just a way of opening a window.


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## dachsmom (Aug 23, 2011)

I would do something small, maybe a hat and booties, or some of the stay on Bibbs, or even a set of washcloths. I enjoy knitting and that would be my motivation. Not a lot of time invested but you will have honored the request, kept the piece, and got to show off your handiwork!


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## maggie.ames (Mar 26, 2013)

Did you sister crochet anything for your grandchildren?


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## CdnKnittingNan (Nov 17, 2011)

Hi there, if it were me, I'd make something without a tremendous amount of effort or material. It is possible the mother-to-be is in the same situation I was at one time.
A friend of my mother's made and sent a gift for my new baby. I was so surprised because I thought she didn't even remember me. When I next visited my mom, who lived a long distance away, I dropped in to thank her. When I told her how grateful I was and surprised because I didn't think she remembered me, she was totally shocked. She said, "who could forget you" Lesson learned, 'don't assume'.


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## La la patti (Apr 3, 2011)

Have you ever made an effort to keep in touch with this young lady? Often in my family any way it works both ways. Make a little something for that baby. It may just open the lines of communication . Give with a joyful heart ,and your gifts will come back to you tenfold


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## Knitlady46 (Nov 5, 2012)

I belong to a small church and try to knit a baby blanket for every baby born --prayers for the little one as I knit. It is just something I feel I have to do. Most times one never receives a thank you, but many times you do. You never know how it will be received, but it comes from the heart. Do what pleases you --only your decision.


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## carrottop71 (Jul 17, 2011)

Johna said:


> I just found out my sister's granddaughter is having a baby. Since I made several things for my granddaughter's baby, It was requested that I knit/crochet something for the baby-to-be
> My question - this particular person never kept in touch with me. She lives in another state. So I don't feel that I need to make anything for her. Her mother crochets. Am I being petty.
> Johna


Sister's granddaughter seems a little far down the food chain for me too. If she were close I would say yes, but if not I would have to put it in line with other projects I'm working on. I would go with my heart, and your heart seems to be saying no.


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## conniesews (Jul 16, 2011)

This might be a good way to open up communication between family members that would benefit everyone in the future. Sent with love of family.


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## Fourel (Jun 25, 2012)

You are not being petty. The mother of the baby will not appreciate the gift. Let her mother make whatever she wants for the baby.


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## MarilynKnits (Aug 30, 2011)

It depends upon your relationship with your sister. If it is strained and she is pushing, this may be the issue that breaks your relationship. Whether that is the outcome you want is up to you and your evaluation of what is best for your mental health.

If your relationship with your sister is good, you may want to make a token gift, perhaps a small hat that works up fast.

Another factor is, has your sister given your great grands hand made new baby gifts? If yes, then it would be gracious of you to do the same for hers. If no, just ignore the "suggestion". If confronted about it, bat your big innocent eyes and say you wish the young ones well, but you did not want to step on your sister's toes by making a hand knit, you wanted her to have the kudos for making items for the baby.

IMHO (or IMNSHO) I think it is tacky to ask for a gift.


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## Marylou12 (Dec 11, 2011)

I would knit something small. There still is nothing like family and it's good to keep the peace in it.


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## maggie.ames (Mar 26, 2013)

I think so too.



MarilynKnits said:


> It depends upon your relationship with your sister. If it is strained and she is pushing, this may be the issue that breaks your relationship. Whether that is the outcome you want is up to you and your evaluation of what is best for your mental health.
> 
> If your relationship with your sister is good, you may want to make a token gift, perhaps a small hat that works up fast.
> 
> ...


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## indinana (Dec 13, 2013)

One could knit a preemie article and donate it to a local hospital in the name of the child?


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## Robin Redhead (Feb 25, 2011)

i would make something simple. You'd have fulfilled your sister's wish and know that, had your heart been in it, you could have made something magnificent.


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## Ronie (Jan 21, 2011)

What can it hurt to make the baby a blanket.. this niece may wish she could be more in touch with you and this could open up more communication 
I am going to a family reunion and there are family members I have not seen in over 30 years... I still care deeply for them and think of them often but life seems to get in the way and time is so short... it is hard to fit it all in!


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## asilyad (Feb 16, 2014)

If you really like the craft, maybe something small, like a wash cloth for the baby, and flower pin for the mother. If you've been asked to do a large project, like a blanket, ask the person who requested it to provide the yarn, and maybe a hook for the collection. Of course you get to keep the leftovers.


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## Luvstakwilt (Jan 16, 2011)

I agree that you would be a better person to make something for the baby. 
Making something for this baby could help to make your family closer. I would try to make something very useful and nice that is an easy knit or crochet item. You are a bigger person to put the hurtfull feelings in the past. I come from a very small family and it can be lonely especially at the holidays and hard times. I hope you hear from them more in the future. Maybe a peaceful chat with your sister could help the situation?


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## LinJurm (Aug 4, 2011)

fibermcgivver said:


> It would seem YOU should be the one to decide what kind of gift to get (or not). Many young persons today are not good about keeping in touch or thanking those that give gifts.... sad :thumbdown:


Isn't that the truth?!?! Sadly, the last two weddings (shower and wedding itself) - not a peep of a thank you. Very sad.


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## nuclearfinz (Feb 23, 2011)

Johna said:


> I just found out my sister's granddaughter is having a baby. Since I made several things for my granddaughter's baby, It was requested that I knit/crochet something for the baby-to-be
> My question - this particular person never kept in touch with me. She lives in another state. So I don't feel that I need to make anything for her. Her mother crochets. Am I being petty.
> Johna


Who made the request? Your sister of the mother to be?


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## craftygac (Dec 6, 2013)

Too me not to make something would make me feel guilty and it wouldn't be worth it. I enjoy creating baby clothes and projects that others enjoy. You know you will feel better if you do it. It doesn't have to be intricate and time consuming just something cute little for the little one to be. Who knows it might bring family closer together.


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## OddBodkin (Nov 18, 2013)

Years ago, when I had more time than money, I made a baby blanket to take to a baby shower for one of my fellow teachers. We were colleagues but not really close. The blanket was very well received and I was glad I had done it. Eighteen years later, a beautiful young lady introduced herself to me and said, "I still have the blanket you made for me. It has always been my favorite." I felt I had been paid handsomely for such a small, personal gesture. It brought a little tear to my eye. If you have the time, do a little something. You may never know what it might mean to someone.


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## beachknit (Oct 25, 2011)

conniesews said:


> This might be a good way to open up communication between family members that would benefit everyone in the future. Sent with love of family.


 :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## nhauf001 (Jan 18, 2011)

I usually make something for every new baby I hear about. I may never make another item for them, but it makes me feel right about my place in the universe. In my circle not many hand made items, and I feel like every baby deserves something made with them in mind. Whatever faults the parents have belong to the parents and I've been there -- been so busy with life that I fall into bed and don't keep the social graces as I should. In your case your sister crochets, so you can assume the baby will get a hand made gift. So it is up to you, make something if you feel like it. It is never fun to knit on demand -- I do special orders to raise money for RFL and it is never as much fun, as knitting because I want to. Hugs!


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## sockyarn (Jan 26, 2011)

No your not. You do not need to feel guilt for some one who dose not even know you are out there. If they can not keep in touch then,more then likely, they will not know how to say thank you.


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## sockyarn (Jan 26, 2011)

No your not. You do not need to feel guilt for some one who dose not even know you are out there. If they can not keep in touch then,more then likely, they will not know how to say thank you.


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## fisherwoman (Feb 24, 2012)

Do Not Bother, 

Knit for those who appreciate your work - (all the time) 

It probably won't be appreciated by the Mother To Be!

Just another little gift to add to the checklist., and who knows if you would even get a Thank You Note (or an email???)

KNITTING for someone other than yourself is done from the heart

Keeping in touch is the same.

It takes Two..........


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## Suecpee (Dec 24, 2013)

I find this whole topic very disgusting. 6 pages of do it, don't do it, it's up to you. This should not be a dilemma for anyone. If you haven't kept in touch anymore than the other party then you are all at "fault" and that will never change. Families have slowly gone downhill for decades because of this kind of selfish attitudes. 
You either do it because you want to or guts up and say no to the persons face who asked you. In the grand scheme of things is this juvenile behaviour important to this newborn baby? No, it's not.


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## nuclearfinz (Feb 23, 2011)

Suecpee said:


> I find this whole topic very disgusting. 6 pages of do it, don't do it, it's up to you. This should not be a dilemma for anyone. If you haven't kept in touch anymore than the other party then you are all at "fault" and that will never change. Families have slowly gone downhill for decades because of this kind of selfish attitudes.
> You either do it because you want to or guts up and say no to the persons face who asked you. In the grand scheme of things is this juvenile behaviour important to this newborn baby? No, it's not.


Its not juvenile. I dont a thing for my husband's side of the family. They never appreciated a hand made item. But I remain very close with my sisters in law and our niece and nephew. I just know not to make them anything.You are obviously a knitter or crocheter and know how much work goes into an item. I dont want to spend the little time I have making something for it to go unappreciated.
I agree the poster should reconnect with whomever she refers to but she certainly can say no if she wishes.


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## JTM (Nov 18, 2012)

Johna said:


> I just found out my sister's granddaughter is having a baby. Since I made several things for my granddaughter's baby, It was requested that I knit/crochet something for the baby-to-be
> My question - this particular person never kept in touch with me. She lives in another state. So I don't feel that I need to make anything for her. Her mother crochets. Am I being petty.
> Johna


A little yes.... This might just be the chance to make a difference between the two of you. And it might even make your sister feel good. Not doing something for your niece's baby to be might even cause a rift between you and your sister.
You do not have to make something big....a token would be nice.
Jane


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## JCF (Aug 3, 2012)

Johna said:


> I just found out my sister's granddaughter is having a baby. Since I made several things for my granddaughter's baby, It was requested that I knit/crochet something for the baby-to-be
> My question - this particular person never kept in touch with me. She lives in another state. So I don't feel that I need to make anything for her. Her mother crochets. Am I being petty.
> Johna


Not in my opinion. If the mother hasn't kept in touch you can bet the child isn't going to later on.


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## bobctwn65 (Jul 27, 2012)

the Bible says Do unto others as you would want them to do to you....not like they do ..but how you would like them to do....think about it...


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## Liz at Furze (Jun 24, 2012)

Lol I would love to be able to knit well enough for ANYBODY to ask me


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## Munchn (Mar 3, 2013)

I'd make a LITTLE something. It's the right thing to do and we are never wrong when we are doing right. :-D :-D :-D


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## yanagi (Jul 7, 2013)

No. It seems that the lady is nearly a total stranger. Don't let peer pressure force you to do something you don't want to.


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## lynnlassiter (Jun 30, 2011)

no, i don't think so.


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## Linda6885 (Feb 13, 2011)

I wouldn't call it petty. It come down to whether you want to make a gift or not. If they are asking you to donate your time and money for another to give as a gift, I would say no too. I would probably send a hand made gift from myself. It is up to you, but I would make it known that you are too busy to do it or whatever your reason is, so that there are no hard feelings. After all it is your family.


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## flamingo (Jun 23, 2013)

I don't believe in guilt gifting, and that's kind of the thread I'm hearing. No one should feel obliged to make or purchase a gift. If auntie doesn't feel like making something, then don't. If you're invited to the shower and feel like giving a gift, then you can buy an inexpensive outfit. People have mentioned sending karmic thoughts while knitting a gift, well, if you're resentful while knitting because KPers have blamed YOU for not not keeping in touch with this ungrateful niece how soothing would that be. Maybe as the time gets closer, Great Auntie may change her mind, but don't do something out of guilt placed on your doorstep by others.


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## misellen (Mar 8, 2013)

I think the fact that you asked for our opinion gives you your answer. No you are not obligated to make anything for this baby, but it will bother you if you don't.

For the sake of family feelings and your own peace of mind I suggest that you make something, perhaps a hat and booties.


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## gginastoria (Jun 2, 2013)

I enjoy knitting baby things but don't have a need to very often. Because they are so much fun to knit, I have things on hand and gift them to friend's grandbabies. I have made things for my daughter's client's babies. She is a adolescent drug counselor. I often never hear back from the parent but I get my thanks from the person who delivers the gift. I get a good feeling thinking of those sweet babies and my lovely knitted things going out into the world to adorn them


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## Maryhm (Oct 11, 2012)

As was already stated above, you are definitely NOT required to make anything ... you know there is a "but" coming, I would send a small project such as a pair of booties or a headband. It will make you feel better and it won't take much time or yarn for either project. It's that feeling of being forced to contribute that gets our back up. Since you put it out there, you are having some conflict about this. Don't do anything that makes you feel bad about yourself.


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## Mireillebc (Apr 7, 2013)

Johna,
You din't answer the other poster: Who requested it?


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## cabbagehome (Dec 23, 2011)

You made several things for my granddaughter's baby. That is your right to knit for it. Your sister's granddaughter is having a baby, not yours. Knit a gift if you want to.
I love making baby stuff. I'm always looking for a baby to gift it too.


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## Hazel Blumberg - McKee (Sep 9, 2011)

I think it's totally up to you as to whether you want to make something for her or not. Go with your gut feelings.

Hazel


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## mamanacy (Dec 16, 2013)

I would make something-plain baby blanket/receiving blanket/which will make you the "cheerful" gver. After all the baby is innocent and knows nothing of "keeping in touch".


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## Nanny Val (Oct 10, 2012)

Did your sister knit or crochet something for your grandchild......? It's up to you.


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## Marly (Dec 5, 2012)

Chrissy said:


> No, you are not being petty. Its entirely up to you who you make things for (or not) and if that person is not in regular contact and in another State, why should you?


I agree!!!! It seems these young people nowadays dont even think of giving a call to thank you for anything. Let your Sister do it, but if it is bothering you then make something small. I recently made a hat for a young man friend of my Sons and I still haven't received a thank you, so that will be the last hat he ever gets.


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## 1953knitter (Mar 30, 2011)

If my sister had a grand daughter that lived in another state I doubt she would keep in touch with me, but I would send a baby gift. Consider your relationship with the person that made the request & consider the request as flattery and not a demand. What's it going cost you to knit a couple of cute hats for a sweet new baby?


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## sunshyne (Nov 29, 2011)

do what you want


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## Kittyjean (Sep 7, 2013)

Johna said:


> I just found out my sister's granddaughter is having a baby. Since I made several things for my granddaughter's baby, It was requested that I knit/crochet something for the baby-to-be
> My question - this particular person never kept in touch with me. She lives in another state. So I don't feel that I need to make anything for her. Her mother crochets. Am I being petty.
> Johna


Hi, I read thru the responses on this, and one thing strikes me, how, we as families have drifted apart. Is your sister trying in her own small way to help your families connect? Maybe you might want to talk with her to see what is really up. Maybe, just maybe, she is trying to bring this child a little closer to the family as a whole by bringing in hand made items to show her that family is still involved and that she has a support network of known people, if she wants them!


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## kathycam (Apr 24, 2012)

bobctwn65 said:


> but....it would make you a better person if you did...it's for the sweet little baby....


I agree. Also, your sister probably admires what you made for your grandchild and would like her grandbaby to have some nice things too...do it for her and the fun of it.


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## kathycam (Apr 24, 2012)

bobctwn65 said:


> the Bible says Do unto others as you would want them to do to you....not like they do ..but how you would like them to do....think about it...


 :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## Knit crazy (Mar 13, 2013)

debsu said:


> I wouldn't make her anything. I WOULD purchase the baby a gift IF I wanted to. You have no obligation to her at all! I would save my needlework for those who cared enough about me to keep in touch!


I agree with you. I consider knitting and crocheting a work of love. You can't love inanimate objects. My 2nd grade teacher taught me that, and I suppose it was because she had a large schoolroom full of 7-year-olds going on and on about loving another's dress or hair ribbon. I know she taught me the difference between love and like. I think love is a two-way exchange. People can love you back, but they don't necessarily do that and usually not because you gift them.

Questions that I'd ask myself are:

. Did sister make something for your granddaughter. Is it a two-way street?

. Did you get a thank you note from sister's granddaughter when she married or for birthday gifts? Does your great-grandniece have manners but lacks interest in you? If she has manners, she should know responses are required. If it is lack of interest, does she like you? Has she ever been loving?

. Is it hard physically to knit/crochet now? My hands hurt sometimes and I don't push myself when they do.

I would shop for a gift if I didn't like the answers I came to about the situation, unless you really don't like or approve of the grandniece. I know I have a niece that I loved as a child, who is a grown-up now with little affection for family. I also have a niece, who was very aloof as a child, and she is a dear now. Time changes some people. You don't want to inhibit that change, but you don't want to be used either. I vote for a gift that is useful and not extravagant.


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## kathycam (Apr 24, 2012)

I miss DonnieK and her wisdom. I hope her computer problem is resolved soon, but I'm pretty sure I know what her opinion would be on this subject.


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## Alpaca Farmer (Jan 19, 2011)

For your sister - I would make a little something.


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## Shimal (Apr 21, 2013)

Why do people feel that we are obligated, just because we knit and crochet, to make things for people who are not dear to us? Send her a nice "Congratulations" card with a gift certificate and just explain that, since you don't really keep in touch, you weren't sure what she would want, but wanted to extend congratulations.


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## Shimal (Apr 21, 2013)

If this person has never bothered to keep in touch with her, then what makes you think the gift would be treasured. If your sister wants to commission something for you to make, that is another story. However, this woman probably feels that you aren't really family - grandmother's sister who she never sees - so spend your time and talent on someone who will treasure what you make.


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## 1crisp1 (Apr 1, 2012)

Oh Buttons I just love your avatar. Keep hoping that poor penguin will get past just once ...but no there he goes again!! 
Depends on who requested the knitting and how you feel about it. If you are making it while gritting your teeth it won't be much good to anyone anyway.


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## linzers (May 17, 2012)

Knitting by obligation is not high on anyone's list. Who knows where the resentments really originate? So many people have kindly offered their perspectives. Only you really know the reasons why you hesitate to see this situation as "knit worthy". Do a little private soul searching on this one. You'll come up with the answer that is best for you.


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## onegrannygoose (May 13, 2011)

I would make her something maybe a simple baby blanket. You never know this could be the start of something good.


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## peanutpatty (Oct 14, 2012)

I did a baby blanket once for an expectant mother who was a casual business acquaintance. I didn't know her all that well but she was a nice young woman.
Years later I happened to meet the woman's daughter. She made a point of finding out where I lived so she could visit and show me the "Blankie" that she still cherished.
So you never know - it might be a positive thing to do.


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## Shdy990 (Mar 10, 2011)

sometimes it is the power to connect or reconnect with someone - I would do something with a nice note saying "keep in touch" or something. What is there to lose?


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## GrannyGoode (Oct 9, 2011)

I have several sisters, and they are dear to me. My sister's grandchild would be as dear to me as well. I cannot partake of the attitude that because "[so and so] never kept in touch..." etc., "...I need [not] make anything..."

SORRY TO DERAIL YOUR RATIONALIZING EFFORTS.

On the other hand, if you truly cannot knit a gift and give it with love, then do nothing at all.



Johna said:


> I just found out my sister's granddaughter is having a baby. Since I made several things for my granddaughter's baby, It was requested that I knit/crochet something for the baby-to-be
> My question - this particular person never kept in touch with me. She lives in another state. So I don't feel that I need to make anything for her. Her mother crochets. Am I being petty.
> Johna


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## Evie RM (Sep 19, 2012)

If you do decide to make something, maybe something quick would be the way to go. There are many baby items that are quick to make. Headbands are great for a girl. Also, baby bibs are quick to make for a boy or a girl and babies can never have enough of those. Especially when they go through that drooling stage when they are teething. There are so many bootie patterns available for both boys and girls and they are quick to make. Otherwise, if you decide not to make something, don't feel guilty. If they have not been in contact with you, I am sure they are not expecting a gift.


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## martina (Jun 24, 2012)

To keep the peace I would make something small and simple, bootees or a bib, and send a card and leave it at that. It is after all for a baby.


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## Gundi2 (May 25, 2012)

you dont need to knit any thing if you dont feel like it.


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## yotbum (Sep 8, 2011)

bobctwn65 said:


> but....it would make you a better person if you did...it's for the sweet little baby....


You'll never be sorry if you do make something, only if you don't. I always find it a pleasure to make something for a new baby.


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## Nancy R. (Feb 1, 2013)

Sounds like you love to knit, so why not something small? It's for family. Giving gifts doesn't always elicit a big thanks, especially from someone young who may not have yet learned the gracious art of appreciation and reciprocity. But, you may be planting seeds of a stronger connection by being the one to initiate some interaction. Nothing to lose!


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## CindyMB (Jul 2, 2012)

I am not especially close with my sister's children. They are alway a bit aloof when I see them even though I always send/sent b'day and Christmas gifts. IF I get a thank you it is by text message. Never a phone call or a thank you note...ever. When they were small, I blamed their mother for not giving them manners but now that they are older, they still don't have the manners they were never taught. When they have children, I will knit something but nothing extravagant, expensive, or time consuming.


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## GrannyGoode (Oct 9, 2011)

Suecpee said:


> I find this whole topic very disgusting. 6 pages of do it, don't do it, it's up to you. This should not be a dilemma for anyone. If you haven't kept in touch anymore than the other party then you are all at "fault" and that will never change. Families have slowly gone downhill for decades because of this kind of selfish attitudes.
> You either do it because you want to or guts up and say no to the persons face who asked you. In the grand scheme of things is this juvenile behaviour important to this newborn baby? No, it's not.


I really quite agree with you, *Suecpee,* especially since we are rapidly approaching page nine. I truly wish I had not responded at all. But I took the bait like a dim-witted guppy. My fault and nobody else's.


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## JoanH (Nov 29, 2011)

yotbum said:


> You'll never be sorry if you do make something, only if you don't. I always find it a pleasure to make something for a new baby.


 I had a meeting with a dear friend..was not able to attend her Grands birthday ..went up in my stash..found yarn...simple hat (queen of hearts,free pattern) Knitted hat that night...seriously, takes 3hrs? for me to knit, less time for me if it's crocheted. I say do it, something like a "stack of hats" out of left over yarn from your stash. Mom's love these. Costs you nothing but time. And you'll never be sorry you did it. And the time involved...minimal. I definitely save the "big" projects for me own grands.....in fact if they see me knitting now..it's is that for me? And they are boys!!


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## Rosette (Oct 7, 2011)

Suecpee said:


> I find this whole topic very disgusting. 6 pages of do it, don't do it, it's up to you. This should not be a dilemma for anyone. If you haven't kept in touch anymore than the other party then you are all at "fault" and that will never change. Families have slowly gone downhill for decades because of this kind of selfish attitudes.
> You either do it because you want to or guts up and say no to the persons face who asked you. In the grand scheme of things is this juvenile behaviour important to this newborn baby? No, it's not.


Wow! She was only asking for our opinion regarding her dilemma. Judge not lest ye be judged. And if you don't have anything nice to say...


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## Janicesei (Jan 8, 2014)

Look around you at church, neighbors, classes or other places you meet people. There are young mothers and children who don't have a relative to make a baby blanket or a throw for mom.

We "adopted" two kids sister and brother at church. Both sets grandparents out of the picture so we are papa and GG (Goofy/great grandma). I knitted baby blankets, and throws as they are now 3rd and 5th graders. Their mom has a couple of throws too. 
Our grands didn't loose out but our Great grand daughter has 2 grandmas and assorted aunts and friends who supply her so don't feel pressed to add. I do see her often and she ( 5 years old) loves McDonald's gift cards from me.
Find someone who needs and appreciates your work. You are generous and there is someone who will cherish your gift the rest of their lives.

Best to you. Janice


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## JoanH (Nov 29, 2011)

Rosette said:


> Wow! She was only asking for our opinion regarding her dilemma. Judge not lest ye be judged. And if you don't have anything nice to say...


 My Mom always said that Rosette! I tend to "ignore" the cranky posts...maybe they are just having a really bad day?? :twisted: And I don't think of it as a "chore" but as cleaning up my stash..so I can make space for more?? :mrgreen: Like I need more!!! I do I do I do....


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## misellen (Mar 8, 2013)

Suecpee said:


> I find this whole topic very disgusting. 6 pages of do it, don't do it, it's up to you. This should not be a dilemma for anyone. If you haven't kept in touch anymore than the other party then you are all at "fault" and that will never change. Families have slowly gone downhill for decades because of this kind of selfish attitudes.
> You either do it because you want to or guts up and say no to the persons face who asked you. In the grand scheme of things is this juvenile behaviour important to this newborn baby? No, it's not.


The "unwatch" button is on the top left side


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## 1953knitter (Mar 30, 2011)

:thumbup:


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## Knit crazy (Mar 13, 2013)

Rosette said:


> Wow! She was only asking for our opinion regarding her dilemma. Judge not lest ye be judged. And if you don't have anything nice to say...


I think that we have so many pages on this topic because so many have been in a similar spot, sometimes by our own tendency to overcommit or over judge our ability to produce handicrafts. I am behind on my list of "To Dos" yet I would like to make a sweater for a grandniece. Guilt, stress, frustration that projects take so long. It all factors in. Nobody else has asked directly for any of them. They hint though. I want to do it all. But, I have a grandchild due in 6 weeks, and I know my limitations. Don't sweat the small stuff is my mantra, and most of the expectations we put on ourselves is small stuff. I can find a sale at a Kohl's near me and relieve my own stress. Few young mothers care if something is handmade (unless they are very discerning).


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## MrsBearstalker (Aug 11, 2011)

Did your sister crochet anything for your grandbaby? In my mind, you would be doing it for your sister. 

I certainly wouldn't feel obligated to make something. I have a new (within the past 14 months) great-nephew and great-niece. I didn't knit anything for either of them. However, I did knit things for my DH's cousins' new babies because they have been so gracious about gifts in the past.

A gift should be a gift, not an obligation.


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## Maxine R (Apr 15, 2011)

Johna said:


> I just found out my sister's granddaughter is having a baby. Since I made several things for my granddaughter's baby, It was requested that I knit/crochet something for the baby-to-be
> My question - this particular person never kept in touch with me. She lives in another state. So I don't feel that I need to make anything for her. Her mother crochets. Am I being petty.
> Johna


The fact that you were request to knit/crochet I think is rather cheeky but its really up to you if you want to. All the best on your decision.


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## Suecpee (Dec 24, 2013)

GrannyGoode said:


> I really quite agree with you, *Suecpee,* especially since we are rapidly approaching page nine. I truly wish I had not responded at all. But I took the bait like a dim-witted guppy. My fault and nobody else's.


 :thumbup:


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## Cheryl1814 (Feb 7, 2013)

If it were my sister, I would definitely knit or crochet something. Even though her granddaughter doesn't see you, your sister probably does and will feel bad that you're not as excited about the baby as she is. Just my humble opinion.



Johna said:


> I just found out my sister's granddaughter is having a baby. Since I made several things for my granddaughter's baby, It was requested that I knit/crochet something for the baby-to-be
> My question - this particular person never kept in touch with me. She lives in another state. So I don't feel that I need to make anything for her. Her mother crochets. Am I being petty.
> Johna


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## Suecpee (Dec 24, 2013)

Kittyjean said:


> Hi, I read thru the responses on this, and one thing strikes me, how, we as families have drifted apart. Is your sister trying in her own small way to help your families connect? Maybe you might want to talk with her to see what is really up. Maybe, just maybe, she is trying to bring this child a little closer to the family as a whole by bringing in hand made items to show her that family is still involved and that she has a support network of known people, if she wants them!


That is what I was saying, families are not like they used to be unless if you want something from the other, should never be that way.


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## Casey47 (Feb 5, 2014)

My aunt gave me priceless advice for situations like this. She said to do (or do not do) what makes YOU feel right and happy. It is not what others expect of you. It's what you expect of, and want for, yourself.


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## Arleen Wetmore (Mar 12, 2012)

I say make something. The more love we spread around the more we receive. You'll always be remembered as that relative that sent that cute something. I think your sister would be proud you did.


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## Karen L (Feb 3, 2012)

How about a buddy blanket? They don't take long, much yarn, are cute and maybe something a baby would really enjoy. Like others have said, you never know what could come of it. The real question is how close is your family? If this would jeopardize the closeless, knitting a small gift is a small price to pay to save it.


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## chutetothrill (Jan 22, 2014)

My sister has a granddaughter and when she is grown I don't expect that I will have had much direct contact with her over the years, but I would be honored if my sister asked me to knit or crochet something for her. My sister knits, too, though not as long as I have. Have you never made anything for someone you didn't even know like girls at a pregnancy center or hats for cancer patients?


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## SouthernGirl (Dec 28, 2011)

do what's in your heart


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## Marly (Dec 5, 2012)

CindyMB said:


> I am not especially close with my sister's children. They are alway a bit aloof when I see them even though I always send/sent b'day and Christmas gifts. IF I get a thank you it is by text message. Never a phone call or a thank you note...ever. When they were small, I blamed their mother for not giving them manners but now that they are older, they still don't have the manners they were never taught. When they have children, I will knit something but nothing extravagant, expensive, or time consuming.


My Daughter when she needs me for looking after the grandkids, she e-mails me, I dont text, etc. so I have decided now I will not respond to any e-mails when she wants something, I guess I am stubborn, but think it is in bad taste to ask that way, what is wrong with a personal phone call. I brought my 3 kids up strict, so dont know what her problem is, this younger generation drives me crazy. So far haven't had an e-mail for me to ignore LOL. I even gave my futer DIL a gift for her Birthday and never got a phone call thanking me, but when I talked to my Son I asked how she liked the gift and she came on the phone (little late) as far as I am concerned. I feel like never giving those young people anything again.
How about that for venting LOL LOL.


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## Maxine R (Apr 15, 2011)

Marly said:


> My Daughter when she needs me for looking after the grandkids, she e-mails me, I dont text, etc. so I have decided now I will not respond to any e-mails when she wants something, I guess I am stubborn, but think it is in bad taste to ask that way, what is wrong with a personal phone call. I brought my 3 kids up strict, so dont know what her problem is, this younger generation drives me crazy. So far haven't had an e-mail for me to ignore LOL. I even gave my futer DIL a gift for her Birthday and never got a phone call thanking me, but when I talked to my Son I asked how she liked the gift and she came on the phone (little late) as far as I am concerned. I feel like never giving those young people anything again.
> How about that for venting LOL LOL.


Know the feeling how the young are today just don't think. I was very firm on the way I brought my children up, most of the time they are good with calls etc, but the grandchildren well thats another story. Lovem just the same though


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## Dreamweaver (Feb 1, 2011)

The decision is truly yours and you should do as you feel. However, if not doing this is going to cause a bigger rift with someone whom you do care about ( mot knowing who requested it) I would do a small item. Not so much for the sake of the recipient, but for the relationship with the requester. Then again, if you think a polite refusal will cause no harm.. Forget it. Your heart isn't in it.....


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## Angora (Sep 10, 2012)

No. Just buy her a gift. Only my friends that respect me and love me get my hand made goodies..... She probably wouldn't appreciate your work and labor of love anyway.


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## Angora (Sep 10, 2012)

Second thought, I have a friend that knits and crochets all year long to have wonderful and beautiful gifts for all of her "kin" dozens of them. She uses very nice yarn.. She has told me many times that the people that she has gifted to don't even take care of the items. She has been to their house and found them thrown around and machined washed those beautiful scarves which now look like hot pads! Why does she continue to do this?


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## jxndoyle (Jan 25, 2014)

When in doubt, I always ask myself, What would Jesus do? Now I'm sure he doesn't knit but this is more about whether to do an act of kindness for basically a stranger. I think he would do it even if it is something small. It's the thought that counts. Even if you never hear from them, it will make you the better person.


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## vpatt (Dec 24, 2011)

I just wondered if the OP has decided what to do.


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## OddBodkin (Nov 18, 2013)

Angora said:


> Second thought, I have a friend that knits and crochets all year long to have wonderful and beautiful gifts for all of her "kin" dozens of them. She uses very nice yarn.. She has told me many times that the people that she has gifted to don't even take care of the items. She has been to their house and found them thrown around and machined washed those beautiful scarves which now look like hot pads! Why does she continue to do this?


I've learned to let it go. If I know that someone doesn't appreciate a gift, I might continue to make gifts for them, but it is usually with less expensive yarn so at least I'm not out much money. I'd make sure my gifts were easy to care for. Still, I sympathize with her.

I've realized that a gift is no longer mine the minute I give it and I can't control how people treat it. It took me a while. When I first started selling items at crafts markets, mostly to get money to buy more yarn to feed my obsession, I found myself trying to judge whether the potential buyer was worthy of the item enough to love it and appreciate it as much as I did. But of course most can't and don't. It gets easier to let things go over time.

In the end, I realized that I knit for myself, and I give gifts and sell some items to keep things from piling up around me. Knitting is Zen and it is a part of me that I don't want to do without.


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## Maggie2012 (May 14, 2012)

Johna said:


> I just found out my sister's granddaughter is having a baby. Since I made several things for my granddaughter's baby, It was requested that I knit/crochet something for the baby-to-be
> My question - this particular person never kept in touch with me. She lives in another state. So I don't feel that I need to make anything for her. Her mother crochets. Am I being petty.
> Johna


You are being "reasonable and sensible".... if a person is not in touch with you, why should you make something for them???? I did it a couple of years ago and received NUTTIN in response to the gift....ain't worth it!!!!


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## rderemer (Nov 13, 2012)

AuntKnitty said:


> Who made the request? Your sister or ? That would make the difference for me. If my sister or best friend or someone I knew well, asked me, I probably would regardless of the relationship with the receiver.


I agree. If the sister made the request she obviously cherishes the work that you do and wants her grandchild's baby to have something from you. You're doing it for your sister not for the baby per se.


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## Edwardian (Dec 14, 2013)

A very interesting post and not a bit surprising that it's raised a lot of comments because it is a dilemma that many of us have had to deal with at one point or other in our lives. 

I just did a very quick survey to this point - and might not have interpreted everyone's answer correctly - but I came up with 23 No - don't do it, 35 Just do what you feel best, and 64 Yes - definitely make something.


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## RebeccaVM (Aug 14, 2012)

Don't be bitter....it only hurts you!! If you enjoy making baby things make something. Then let it go!!!!

I can't believe there are 10 pages on this topic.


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## Suecpee (Dec 24, 2013)

Edwardian said:


> A very interesting post and not a bit surprising that it's raised a lot of comments because it is a dilemma that many of us have had to deal with at one point or other in our lives.
> 
> I just did a very quick survey to this point - and might not have interpreted everyone's answer correctly - but I came up with 23 No - don't do it, 35 Just do what you feel best, and 64 Yes - definitely make something.


Good job on the survey. What I find interesting at this point is not one response by the person who started it all? No thanks mentioned for all the comments? Each person has feelings about the entire situation and the point was to take the advice offered, I, too, wonder what the op thinks at this point?


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## PaKnitter (Mar 7, 2011)

Suecpee said:


> Good job on the survey. What I find interesting at this point is not one response by the person who started it all? No thanks mentioned for all the comments? Each person has feelings about the entire situation and the point was to take the advice offered, I, too, wonder what the op thinks at this point?


I have notice this more and more on the forum so I think it's more that the op is foaming at the mouth and venting than really wanting advice from strangers.


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## Janina (May 2, 2011)

I will all tell you a little story.

I have a neighbor living across the street and she is expecting a second boy this February. I had a superb yellow baby blanket and decided I would give it to her through my sister-in-law's sister who lives also across the street in the same building. I could not go up the stairs with her but she said she would tell her that I had made it, this neighbor know me well. The neighbor opened the door, took the present and said thank you and closed the door. She is such a lovely person when you see her on the street but do you know what... no thank you to me. She could have asked my phone number and just say thank you, but NO. This is the last time I do this unless it is a very good friend.

So, as far as I am concerned I would not make her NOTHING but of course this is my opinion but it is your decision.

This was over a month ago.


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## Casey47 (Feb 5, 2014)

My daughter thinks I should just check Facebook to see what she and my granddaughter are doing. As a mother and a grandmother (and I do a lot for them) I think I deserve a phone call - well a spot a little higher up than finding out stuff with the rest of the world. She doesn't think this is reasonable and says she doesn't always have time to call me. I told her if she spent less time on Facebook she would have time to call me. She's really very good to me and we are close but this is one subject that we go 'round and 'round about.


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## Marly (Dec 5, 2012)

Casey47 said:


> My daughter thinks I should just check Facebook to see what she and my granddaughter are doing. As a mother and a grandmother (and I do a lot for them) I think I deserve a phone call - well a spot a little higher up than finding out stuff with the rest of the world. She doesn't think this is reasonable and says she doesn't always have time to call me. I told her if she spent less time on Facebook she would have time to call me. She's really very good to me and we are close but this is one subject that we go 'round and 'round about.


How right you are, these young people like being on facebook for all the rest of the world to know their business, so sad!!!!


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## PauletteB. (Feb 7, 2012)

There is a lot of going back and forth on this subject. If I had the time I would like to knit something for all the babies in my family and church. I just feel you let your conscious be your guide.


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## vpatt (Dec 24, 2011)

I guess I am really odd....I prefer a text rather than a call. I hate getting 'trapped' on the phone. A text tells me what I need to know and I can respond when it is convenient. An email is the same. I hate when I am on the phone......that is when the most inconvenient things go on.....the dogs go crazy over something and I can't hear, one of my kids drops by or a grandchild or it is right at the beginning or the end of a show I really want to see. It may be that I worked for so long with people much younger than me and they used texting so much. I don't like texting for 30 minutes when a 30 second phone call would do, though. Before you call me too rude I do answer my phone when it rings (and I hear it). I do have friends who don't text or email. I don't have a hands free phone. Maybe that is part of the issue....and that my hearing is not as great as it once was.

I did want to add that some of this feeling comes from so much telemarketing.......they even use local numbers now to trick us into answering. So no I don't answer calls that I can see are not from friends or family. And I do talk on the phone with my children and grands. I hope I don't sound too terrible. And I agree people should say thank you. 

People asking for handmade items.....well...as long as I can choose the item, color and yarn. Other than that it sounds too much like a demand. I have knit about 20 hats this winter and none for myself so I am pretty generous with my knitting ...just not with my telephone time.


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## Khoney (Feb 17, 2014)

This may be the very thing that puts you all back in touch together. Family is everything. Only you can make this decision and the one you make will be the right one for you. Blessings!


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## k2p3-knit-on (Oct 24, 2012)

Why not keep in touch with a lovely note of best wishes? She's going to be busy with the baby and might not keep in touch but it will make you feel good.


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## Suecpee (Dec 24, 2013)

PaKnitter said:


> I have notice this more and more on the forum so I think it's more that the op is foaming at the mouth and venting than really wanting advice from strangers.


Gotcha.


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## Mireillebc (Apr 7, 2013)

I hate that when the OP doesn't even acknowledge nor thank other members who took the time to respond. I find it rude and uncaring.


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## cattdages (Aug 3, 2011)

Johna said:


> I just found out my sister's granddaughter is having a baby. Since I made several things for my granddaughter's baby, It was requested that I knit/crochet something for the baby-to-be
> My question - this particular person never kept in touch with me. She lives in another state. So I don't feel that I need to make anything for her. Her mother crochets. Am I being petty.
> Johna


Only do it if you can do it out of love. If you will resent every stitch it is not healthy for you and the baby will never know the difference and the baby's mama probably has no clue how you feel anyway. Do it for the baby and your hopes and dreams for the baby's life or politely decline.


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## Catherine42 (Jul 3, 2013)

I think when it was requested I would have declined then. If not then I would knit something for sure.


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## suepro (Nov 9, 2011)

Johna said:


> I just found out my sister's granddaughter is having a baby. Since I made several things for my granddaughter's baby, It was requested that I knit/crochet something for the baby-to-be
> My question - this particular person never kept in touch with me. She lives in another state. So I don't feel that I need to make anything for her. Her mother crochets. Am I being petty.
> Johna


A little gift might remind her how wonderful you are and bring you a little closer!


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## Edwardian (Dec 14, 2013)

Janina said:


> ...........I have a neighbor living across the street and she is expecting a second boy this February. I had a superb yellow baby blanket and decided I would give it her..................She is such a lovely person when you see her on the street but do you know what... no thank you to me.
> 
> Sewing the other day reminded me of a very elderly neighbour who taught me embroidery - and there have been several elderly people in my long life who have helped me in so many ways, and given me so very much, but looking back I'm not sure I thanked them the way I should have done at that time! Young people are so wrapped up in their lives they often don't do what they should do, but I don't think they will ever forget those people who helped them - or gave them a gift. I believe Janina will always be in that young person's life - right now and in her memories of that occasion when she gets older, as all the folk who helped me when I was younger now remain very fondly in mine.


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## GemsByGranny (Dec 7, 2012)

Johna said:


> I just found out my sister's granddaughter is having a baby. Since I made several things for my granddaughter's baby, It was requested that I knit/crochet something for the baby-to-be
> My question - this particular person never kept in touch with me. She lives in another state. So I don't feel that I need to make anything for her. Her mother crochets. Am I being petty.
> Johna


Can you make it 'for your sister'? Or maybe make something small, as a kind of indication of the small relationship you have with this great-niece? That would show some evidence of good-will, although I can understand completely why you feel a bit imposed upon.


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