# Yet another liberty taker.



## boring knit (May 9, 2011)

On the subject of people disrespecting the time and effort we all put into our lovely craftwork: I went to a club yesterday in the village and someone I'd never met or been introduced to said, when seeing the socks I knit. "You can knit me a couple of pairs, I need some for friends for Christmas presents. Unbelievable. I told her if I did it wouldn't be this Christmas as I knit for a lot of family members and had a long list to do. Also told her I'd seen similar hand knit socks for sale at craft sale for £l5 per pair. End of conversation. I just can't understand how someone can just come out and ask such a thing. There are some strange people in the world eh.


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## misslovebug (May 2, 2011)

Some people just don't seem to appreciate the work that goes into knitted and handmade things.
I would of loved to of seen their face when you told them how much they sell for! lol People think because you make it, it doesn't cost anything! Some people can be so ignorant.

xx


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## Missunoriginalknitwit (Oct 28, 2011)

I agree and empathise. I'll never forget my sister-in-law one Christmas, years ago, when I was first married and we had not much cash. I knitted my young nephew a lovely blue tank top with a picture of a red train on it and gave it to him as part of his Christmas present. A few days later she was having 'words' with me (we never truly shared similar views) and out came this, "..... at least I paid REAL money for my presents!!!". Like the effort was nothing and the wool was free - I was gutted as I really thought my nephew would love the top but I never saw him wear it 
xXx


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## ScotKnits (Sep 2, 2011)

When I was leaving work one day a lady who was waiting to pick someone up from my workplace said "hey, you knit a lot don't you? I said yes and she asked me to knit her a sweater - she wanted me to bring some pattern books so she could choose one. I told her I didn't have time to knit the sweater as I'm working on projects for my family. She said but I'm you're best friend (I don't even know her except to say hello). I told her If I had time to knit a sweater it would cost around $150.00 for the yarn & my time. She said you must have lots of yarn you can use and I'm not paying you for knitting me a sweater - since we're friends you should do it for free!!


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## Missunoriginalknitwit (Oct 28, 2011)

People never cease to astound me with their selfishness :-00


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## Bethknits79 (Jul 19, 2011)

ScotKnits said:


> When I was leaving work one day a lady who was waiting to pick someone up from my workplace said "hey, you knit a lot don't you? I said yes and she asked me to knit her a sweater - she wanted me to bring some pattern books so she could choose one. I told her I didn't have time to knit the sweater as I'm working on projects for my family. She said but I'm you're best friend (I don't even know her except to say hello). I told her If I had time to knit a sweater it would cost around $150.00 for the yarn & my time. She said you must have lots of yarn you can use and I'm not paying you for knitting me a sweater - since we're friends you should do it for free!!


 :shock: :roll: That's crazy!


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## DeeDeeF (Mar 29, 2011)

We've all had that same circumstance at one time or another haven't we? At least HERE everyone understands the time and effort involved in making something. 


One that REALLY ticks me off is a noncrafter looking for any teeny flaw and publicly pointing it out. Oh, and then theres the x-crafter {as bad as the X-smoker} "I stopped doing that a long time ago but If I did it I'd do" .... whatever it is different or use a more complicated pattern or or or ! 

OK, witchin' session over!


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## Peachie6560 (Feb 22, 2011)

We have a local artisan shop here in Towanda, PA with beautiful hand-crafted items. One sweater is selling for $300.00 What would she have thought if you quoted that price? Selfish is right. There has been discussion here at KP regarding family members being ungrateful with hand-crafted items, too.


ScotKnits said:


> When I was leaving work one day a lady who was waiting to pick someone up from my workplace said "hey, you knit a lot don't you? I said yes and she asked me to knit her a sweater - she wanted me to bring some pattern books so she could choose one. I told her I didn't have time to knit the sweater as I'm working on projects for my family. She said but I'm you're best friend (I don't even know her except to say hello). I told her If I had time to knit a sweater it would cost around $150.00 for the yarn & my time. She said you must have lots of yarn you can use and I'm not paying you for knitting me a sweater - since we're friends you should do it for free!!


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## Cindy M (Sep 5, 2011)

Just yesterday, my boss approached me and expects me to make 30 potholders for a Christmas event coming up in three weeks. She'll buy the yarn but no compensation for my time. It would put all my stuff for Christmas on hold. She has no appreciation for how much time something like that would take. Talk about nerve! I'm just going to have to say no.


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## CinDeeLooWho (Oct 14, 2011)

The appropriate response should be a simple "I'd be happy to give you an estimate when my current projects are done!" lol


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## Cindy M (Sep 5, 2011)

Thank you for putting things in perspective for me. My time is valuable. I have to put my own Christmas present needs first. I just sent an email to my boss declining her "generous" offer. She'll be mad at me, but hey. Too bad.


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## martyr (Feb 15, 2011)

Cindy M said:


> Just yesterday, my boss approached me and expects me to make 30 potholders for a Christmas event coming up in three weeks. She'll buy the yarn but no compensation for my time. It would put all my stuff for Christmas on hold. She has no appreciation for how much time something like that would take. Talk about nerve! I'm just going to have to say no.


I certainly hope you do; however you phrase it!


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## Leonora (Apr 22, 2011)

You gave her the answer she needed........the right one......good on you girl.. Leonora.


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## Christi (Feb 3, 2011)

Do you all think it is bad if I volunteer my time to make stuff for my infant classroom at the daycare I work for such as washcloths and soft pillows for the kids to play on in the little cubbie nook I have in my classroom? My boss said he would pay for the yarn I buy plus the polyfiberfill. I didn't think it was bad.....I kind of like doing it as I am also able to work on it during working hours.


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## ScotKnits (Sep 2, 2011)

Christi said:


> Do you all think it is bad if I volunteer my time to make stuff for my infant classroom at the daycare I work for such as washcloths and soft pillows for the kids to play on in the little cubbie nook I have in my classroom? My boss said he would pay for the yarn I buy plus the polyfiberfill. I didn't think it was bad.....I kind of like doing it as I am also able to work on it during working hours.


I don't think it's bad - I think it's a personal choice to volunteer for this project.


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## lifeline (Apr 12, 2011)

Christi said:


> Do you all think it is bad if I volunteer my time to make stuff for my infant classroom at the daycare I work for such as washcloths and soft pillows for the kids to play on in the little cubbie nook I have in my classroom? My boss said he would pay for the yarn I buy plus the polyfiberfill. I didn't think it was bad.....I kind of like doing it as I am also able to work on it during working hours.


I don't think it's bad at-all for you to do with your time as you like. I have on the odd occasion made things for work- but when I have volunteered it, not when it has been assumed that I will do it. I think the thing that everyone is complaining about here is the way people assume they have the right to expect you to make things for them. I don't mind making things for people, but only when I choose to. 
One thing that gets to me is a work mate who every time I wear something to work that I have made says that I could make these to sell. I DON'T knit to sell, I knit for pleasure - I already have a job, I don't need another.


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## birdgirl (Mar 24, 2011)

The friend I gave the scrap sweater to said she will get a bunch of yarn and I can make her some hats like the one she's wearing, I must knit so fast! Silly people, they never even stop to think. Gimme, gimme like when they were little children. I told her no, I don't do hats, and if I did I would charge her by the hour.


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## CinDeeLooWho (Oct 14, 2011)

Christi- Volunteering is wonderful and generous, I wish more people would volunteer to do wonderful and meaningful things for others. What isn't right is some people's "expectations" that you would be willing to drop everything to accommodate their whimsical orders with no regard to your own needs and schedules. That's not to mention that some people must believe that yarn falls freely from the yarn tree in the backyard, and is clueless about the time and commitment involved in creating a project. So long as the desire to volunteer is there- go for it.


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## whistlinbc (Jul 30, 2011)

Rebecca, I'm with you. I knit for pleasure and out of love; knitting to sell would take the joy out of it for me. Sure am glad we're all different though; the world would be quite boring if we all enjoyed the same things  Becky


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## martyr (Feb 15, 2011)

Christi said:


> Do you all think it is bad if I volunteer my time to make stuff for my infant classroom at the daycare I work for such as washcloths and soft pillows for the kids to play on in the little cubbie nook I have in my classroom? My boss said he would pay for the yarn I buy plus the polyfiberfill. I didn't think it was bad.....I kind of like doing it as I am also able to work on it during working hours.


Agree, volunteering is doing a good thing because you want to, and chose to follow through on that desire. Not because someone asked you to, especially asked in in a selfish, or condescending manner. We should all do what we can, when we can to help others, but only what & when we we can.


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## boring knit (May 9, 2011)

thank you all for sharing your thoughts. And Cindy volunteering to knit for someone or a charity is absolutely great. It's just so shocking when when someone says "you can knit me some of those socks" as if they were entitled to my stuff. I didn't even know the woman. I can't stand takers.


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## debbijl (Jun 17, 2011)

Christi said:


> Do you all think it is bad if I volunteer my time to make stuff for my infant classroom at the daycare I work for such as washcloths and soft pillows for the kids to play on in the little cubbie nook I have in my classroom? My boss said he would pay for the yarn I buy plus the polyfiberfill. I didn't think it was bad.....I kind of like doing it as I am also able to work on it during working hours.


Key is, Christi, if you want / have time to do it & not that someone EXPECTS you to do it, taking your time, skill, etc. for granted. The fact that your boss ASKED & it was OK for you to say no.... & the previous poster with the 30 hotpads, I'd say, sure for NEXT YEAR'S Christmas fair! :thumbup:

Me, if I could have a legit reason to do my craft things as a part of my job, I'd be there in a heartbeat!!! :lol:


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## pugmom5 (Feb 19, 2011)

I was making scarfs during lunch and breaks to raise money breast cancer. A few co workers saw me and wanted me to make them scarfs. I said if they bought the yarn and donated my knitting fee to Breast Cancer, I would do it. I had 3 takers,,,that was ok,,,but then one fellow wanted 8 scarfs done, for the one price fee and was upset when I told him it would be $120. (now these are all easy scarfs, straight knitting, or bias knitting, so I do not get bored) But he said any money I get I SHOULD BE GRATEFUL AS IT WAS GOING TO BREAST CANCER!!!! Well I was pissed. But I chained stitched long strands of yarn, 8 different colors. Gave him the chained links and told him to pay up....he should be grateful that I did something for him. Told him if he could be cheap, so could I!!!! Gave my other coworkers a great laugh.


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## JeanJ (Jul 12, 2011)

Christi said:


> Do you all think it is bad if I volunteer my time to make stuff for my infant classroom at the daycare I work for such as washcloths and soft pillows for the kids to play on in the little cubbie nook I have in my classroom? My boss said he would pay for the yarn I buy plus the polyfiberfill. I didn't think it was bad.....I kind of like doing it as I am also able to work on it during working hours.


Volunteer is the key word. It's something you want to do and not something you've been asked to do. If it's something you enjoy and have the time to do, go for it! I'm sure anything you do will be appreciated.


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## boring knit (May 9, 2011)

Missunoriginalknitwit said:


> I agree and empathise. I'll never forget my sister-in-law one Christmas, years ago, when I was first married and we had not much cash. I knitted my young nephew a lovely blue tank top with a picture of a red train on it and gave it to him as part of his Christmas present. A few days later she was having 'words' with me (we never truly shared similar views) and out came this, "..... at least I paid REAL money for my presents!!!". Like the effort was nothing and the wool was free - I was gutted as I really thought my nephew would love the top but I never saw him wear it
> xXx


oooh how horrible. What a nasty s.i.l.


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## PaKnitter (Mar 7, 2011)

A few years ago I was ask to make an afghan with hearts on it for a business's raffle with the money going to the American Heart Association. The business would buy the yarn and pay me for making the afghan. They did order the yarn on line and it was sent to me. I made a twin size afghan... 6" granny squares with heart appliques on every other square because it was rather short notice. They made a little over 300.00 on their raffle. What did I get???...a thank you card saying my part of the $ had been donated to the American Heart Association! Never again!!!


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## PurpleFi (Mar 26, 2011)

I always reply that I consider my work priceless, therefore I never sell it, just give it to people who appreciate it. PurpleV


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## pug retirement (Jun 5, 2011)

ScotKnits said:


> When I was leaving work one day a lady who was waiting to pick someone up from my workplace said "hey, you knit a lot don't you? I said yes and she asked me to knit her a sweater - she wanted me to bring some pattern books so she could choose one. I told her I didn't have time to knit the sweater as I'm working on projects for my family. She said but I'm you're best friend (I don't even know her except to say hello). I told her If I had time to knit a sweater it would cost around $150.00 for the yarn & my time. She said you must have lots of yarn you can use and I'm not paying you for knitting me a sweater - since we're friends you should do it for free!!


She was not thinking when she put her mouth into gearwas she.


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## PurpleFi (Mar 26, 2011)

pug retirement said:


> ScotKnits said:
> 
> 
> > When I was leaving work one day a lady who was waiting to pick someone up from my workplace said "hey, you knit a lot don't you? I said yes and she asked me to knit her a sweater - she wanted me to bring some pattern books so she could choose one. I told her I didn't have time to knit the sweater as I'm working on projects for my family. She said but I'm you're best friend (I don't even know her except to say hello). I told her If I had time to knit a sweater it would cost around $150.00 for the yarn & my time. She said you must have lots of yarn you can use and I'm not paying you for knitting me a sweater - since we're friends you should do it for free!!
> ...


I hope the last word of your reply was ...off! PurpleV


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## Missunoriginalknitwit (Oct 28, 2011)

Some fabulous responses which I cannot top! Well said everyone


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## annabell (Jun 21, 2011)

I think we all have had that happen - i have a list of 'prices' for different items - printed on the back of my business cards - sweaters $250, simple hats $25, fancy hats $50, etc. Oddly enough - I never hear from them again - I wonder why?


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## shlbycindy (Aug 24, 2011)

Missunoriginalknitwit said:


> I agree and empathise. I'll never forget my sister-in-law one Christmas, years ago, when I was first married and we had not much cash. I knitted my young nephew a lovely blue tank top with a picture of a red train on it and gave it to him as part of his Christmas present. A few days later she was having 'words' with me (we never truly shared similar views) and out came this, "..... at least I paid REAL money for my presents!!!". Like the effort was nothing and the wool was free - I was gutted as I really thought my nephew would love the top but I never saw him wear it
> xXx


This just breaks my heart. I'm afraid I would have had a hard time ever speaking to her again. What a 'B' she must be!


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## Missunoriginalknitwit (Oct 28, 2011)

Thanks Shelby. I wanted to break friends with her on many occasions but that would have meant upsetting my mum and brother and their two children... She is older and more 'mellow' now thank goodness but it just shows, we never forget these things


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## darowil (Apr 17, 2011)

Cindy M said:


> Just yesterday, my boss approached me and expects me to make 30 potholders for a Christmas event coming up in three weeks. She'll buy the yarn but no compensation for my time. It would put all my stuff for Christmas on hold. She has no appreciation for how much time something like that would take. Talk about nerve! I'm just going to have to say no.


Tell her you'd be delighted to do so- when you are at work on their time.


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## greatgram (Jun 28, 2011)

If it makes you happy - go for it!! And the kids will enjoy the results, too.


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## jmai5421 (May 6, 2011)

Missunoriginalknitwit said:


> I agree and empathise. I'll never forget my sister-in-law one Christmas, years ago, when I was first married and we had not much cash. I knitted my young nephew a lovely blue tank top with a picture of a red train on it and gave it to him as part of his Christmas present. A few days later she was having 'words' with me (we never truly shared similar views) and out came this, "..... at least I paid REAL money for my presents!!!". Like the effort was nothing and the wool was free - I was gutted as I really thought my nephew would love the top but I never saw him wear it
> xXx


My DIL send back all the sweaters that I had knit for my granddaughter (our first) and said she didn't want them. By the way, I never saw them on my granddaughter either. She said the the Norwegian ski sweaters the I made for she and my son she sold at a garage sale. They both ski but she prefers the boughten ones. My son doesn't say anything. He is not a clothes person.


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## kyriakoulla (Jul 11, 2011)

Maybe if you had offered to show her how to do them her self she might have understood how much time and effort go into making them


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## jmai5421 (May 6, 2011)

Christi said:


> Do you all think it is bad if I volunteer my time to make stuff for my infant classroom at the daycare I work for such as washcloths and soft pillows for the kids to play on in the little cubbie nook I have in my classroom? My boss said he would pay for the yarn I buy plus the polyfiberfill. I didn't think it was bad.....I kind of like doing it as I am also able to work on it during working hours.


I do that a lot if it is something I want to do and I have the time and I know that it will be appreciated.


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## Augustgran (Apr 16, 2011)

a co worker who new my mom was an expert knitter approached me in October asking if my mom would knit 4 sweaters in time for Christmas!! 2 adults 2 kids.I asked if she had drank some thing that no way could my mom work under that time frame but if they were serious mom could have them for next Christmas and I would get her a quote.her answer?I was going to buy 4 bags of the bulk yarn at 6$ a bag and pay her $20 a sweater!!!!I told her in no uncertain terms that the quality of that yarn is dubious and my mom wouldnt look at less than 100$ for a childs, and $125 for an adult. end of conversation she never asked again


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## valj46 (Jul 25, 2011)

i have also came across over the years people expect you to knit for free which i only do for family & friends + charity ,as soon as you mention price they don't want to know . Val G


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## bjgrey39 (Aug 28, 2011)

I think that is great! You want to do it and are not being coerced into it by someone who doesn't value what you do. Keep doing what you want to do, sharing your gift with those who you care about. And Just Say No to those others. I am a painter and I get the same thing with people who want to have one of my paintings. I just say that it takes me so much time to complete one that I would have to charge a tremendous amount to sell one.


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## bjgrey39 (Aug 28, 2011)

Sorry, I didn't refer to the note I was responding to... The one about knitting for the nursery school.


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## sam07671 (May 12, 2011)

A co-worker just last week stopped by my program last Thursday and asked me if I would make a quilt for her Neice that is getting married next summer. She threw a idea my way of what she wanted. I told her that I don't know how to quilt. Then she said she that I knit and would I make her a afghan for the shower and maybe a pillow to match. She wanted 1 that they could both cuddle together in. I told her that I have 2 new baby's I am going to start knitting for after the holidays. She said that is okay. She said that she would pay me.......OH HERE IT COMES........I said it would cost her $150.00 to make something like that but she would have to pay for the yarn and everything. She said okay a bit hesitant. ANDI told her she would have to pay me up front before I started the afghan. She said okay. But then I told her she could make 1 that would be simple that she could do. (Now mind you this is the one I started to teach how to knit and she gave it up within 1 week) She siad no she can't knit and is to slow to do something like that. I said if she started now she may have it done in time. Now I want to see how this is going to go. I found some quick made afghan patterns and will wait to see if she mentions it to me before I show them to her.


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## debbielaukala (Jun 21, 2011)

I had a woman whom I know but not well, ask me to make a sweater for her. How much would it cost she asked. Well Are you buyinh the yarn or am I and what kind of yarn. 100 oercent washable wool she answered. Aran wool she said. Well first I told her the yarn would be about 400 dollars because she wanted hand spun. Then I told her it would cost her 500 dolllars for my time. She then says. " I could go to Macy`s and buy one cheaper" Know what I told her....I said to her "then go to Macy`s. But she says they aren`t hand knit. I said "You get what you pay for"


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## greatgram (Jun 28, 2011)

greatgram said:


> If it makes you happy - go for it!! And the kids will enjoy the results, too.


This was meant for the volunteer work at the nursery school -


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## Lucy1037 (Apr 16, 2011)

If you get to do it during working hours then you are not volunteering your time. You are actually getting paid to do the projects. I say good for yo!


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## pinktrollope (Apr 26, 2011)

I'm a mobile hairdresser and many people think (family & friends) think I will do their hair for nothing. However guilty you might feel remember my new mantra...'Today's favour is tomorrows obligation'. Now I'll try to stick to it! Always at least take a 'tip' if you want to be appreciated.


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## kathy320 (Jul 29, 2011)

Christi said:


> Do you all think it is bad if I volunteer my time to make stuff for my infant classroom at the daycare I work for such as washcloths and soft pillows for the kids to play on in the little cubbie nook I have in my classroom? My boss said he would pay for the yarn I buy plus the polyfiberfill. I didn't think it was bad.....I kind of like doing it as I am also able to work on it during working hours.


I think it's great, but you're doing it because you want to and have the time. I don't think most of us find knitting for others to be a problem. It's the insensitivity (or just plain nerve) of people who assume that we will knit for them, with no concept of the time and effort that go into the lovely projectors we make.


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## ScotKnits (Sep 2, 2011)

annabell said:


> I think we all have had that happen - i have a list of 'prices' for different items - printed on the back of my business cards - sweaters $250, simple hats $25, fancy hats $50, etc. Oddly enough - I never hear from them again - I wonder why?


That's a great idea putting prices on back of business carda. I never thought of that! Would you mind if I use your idea on my cards?


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## MoMo (Apr 28, 2011)

My sister ( "Queen Eileen") had two little girls. One year I saved EVERY single scrap of wool, and made them each matching cardigan sweaters for Christmas. They had red bodices, and the sleeves were multi-colored scraps. This was not the type that left the ends flying loose. Each end was securely knitted in, in a double seed pattern so that the irregiularity of so many joins was disguised. The Queen was livid that I thought so little of her children as to make them " that" for Christmas. ( I should mention that the little girls LOVED the sweaters, and between them, there are now 11 grandchildren who also love handmade and " designed with love" sweaters made just for them! The Queen remains cantankerous and difficult in all matters!!!)Guess there is one like that in most families!! LOL!! MoMo


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## calicar (Jul 29, 2011)

Then there are the people who think they can dip into my stash for free. I deliberately stocked up on supplies before I retired and it all cost me money. Why do they think I want to give it away?


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## inishowen (May 28, 2011)

Last Christmas I was asked to knit a mans "Christmas sweater", with a reindeer motif on the front, the more garish the better. It was to be a joke present for someone's boyfriend. In other words he would have tried it on, laughed at it, then discarded it. I think the person who asked had no idea of the amount of work involved and actually thought I'd enjoy knitting it! Needless to say I declined!


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## inishowen (May 28, 2011)

jmai5421 said:


> Missunoriginalknitwit said:
> 
> 
> > I agree and empathise. I'll never forget my sister-in-law one Christmas, years ago, when I was first married and we had not much cash. I knitted my young nephew a lovely blue tank top with a picture of a red train on it and gave it to him as part of his Christmas present. A few days later she was having 'words' with me (we never truly shared similar views) and out came this, "..... at least I paid REAL money for my presents!!!". Like the effort was nothing and the wool was free - I was gutted as I really thought my nephew would love the top but I never saw him wear it
> ...


I'm really shocked that your DIL actually had the cheek to return the things you knitted. How rude and uncaring she is. I'm still fuming on your behalf.


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## MaryW22 (Jun 26, 2011)

Cindy M said:


> Just yesterday, my boss approached me and expects me to make 30 potholders for a Christmas event coming up in three weeks. She'll buy the yarn but no compensation for my time. It would put all my stuff for Christmas on hold. She has no appreciation for how much time something like that would take. Talk about nerve! I'm just going to have to say no.


You could offer to do them on the clock...


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## wefarmasmidgen (Apr 24, 2011)

I've always told them what it would cost for me to produce whatever right up front (I base it on the salary I'm making + materials). Or -- I would be glad to teach them how to knit and tell them what I would charge per hour for lessons. Never had a taker on either! Love CinDeeLooWho's response as well.


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## grannye (Oct 29, 2011)

We just sit down with pins and yarn....hey presto a garment!! Tell them how many hours it will take and how much it costs for the yarn and your time per hour! That will set them back on their heels. They imagine little old ladies looking for something to fill their time....little do they realise we are all busy and like to be creative when we have some time! Time costs. An expert's time costs more.


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## Wheatie (Sep 19, 2011)

I do not knie or sew for anyone except my daughter, Church, or special friends for this very reason


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## nozizweoriginals (Oct 13, 2011)

If any of you have doubt about the worth of your handmade knits, just have a look at upscale department stores. This season in particular, I've seen knits from designers--ranging from Missoni to Vince that go for hundreds and even thousands of dollars. And they don't even have he extra ingredient of love. Don't let anyone undervalue you!


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## motherdawg (Feb 13, 2011)

OBVIOUSLY SHE IS A NON KNITTER...


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## LBush1144 (Jan 23, 2011)

Scotknits-- That makes me say, "Are you kidding me?" People really don't know how much time, money, effort, and expertise go into our projects.


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## Clickers (Apr 8, 2011)

DeeDeeF said:


> We've all had that same circumstance at one time or another haven't we? At least HERE everyone understands the time and effort involved in making something.
> 
> One that REALLY ticks me off is a noncrafter looking for any teeny flaw and publicly pointing it out. Oh, and then theres the x-crafter {as bad as the X-smoker} "I stopped doing that a long time ago but If I did it I'd do" .... whatever it is different or use a more complicated pattern or or or !
> 
> OK, witchin' session over!


Makes one wonder why they are x-crafters if they are so good at doing something.


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## GQR999 (Aug 13, 2011)

As long as you like doing it, it's all good. Besides, if you can work on it during working hours, in a sense you are being paid for your time! Nice thing to do.


Christi said:


> Do you all think it is bad if I volunteer my time to make stuff for my infant classroom at the daycare I work for such as washcloths and soft pillows for the kids to play on in the little cubbie nook I have in my classroom? My boss said he would pay for the yarn I buy plus the polyfiberfill. I didn't think it was bad.....I kind of like doing it as I am also able to work on it during working hours.


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## czechmate (Jun 17, 2011)

I knit in bed till I can't hold my eyes open,and when I have my coffee in the morning ,I knit also,I go to work 1 hr early so I have more time to knit.I have been making and selling fingerless mitts and I feel guilty to sell them for $10...I found out a local farmers market was selling them for $15 and then I was blown away to see the prices on Etsy...my cousin said my time is worth much more.


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## expatx3 (Aug 2, 2011)

Christi said:


> Do you all think it is bad if I volunteer my time to make stuff for my infant classroom at the daycare I work for such as washcloths and soft pillows for the kids to play on in the little cubbie nook I have in my classroom? My boss said he would pay for the yarn I buy plus the polyfiberfill. I didn't think it was bad.....I kind of like doing it as I am also able to work on it during working hours.


No, Christi, it's not bad, it's very generous and loving of you. The difference is, you're doing it of your own volition, not being backed into a corner by the "demands" of others who have no idea of the time, cost and effort involved. And your boss clearly appreciates it or he wouldn't offer to pay for the yarn. Bet the children appreciate it too!


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## SherryH (Apr 4, 2011)

People are astounding, many seem to think if it isn't "bought from a store" it doesn't cost anything or if it's handmade it isn't "as good as" something from a store...how stupid and thoughtless. As to the so called friend...if she were actually a friend she wouldn't have asked. For the boss, ask her what she's making. And Christi, volunteering is good, being volunteered isn't always.


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## hellothere (Sep 19, 2011)

I can identify with so many comments. I have a "friend" who keeps bothering me about checking out her stash (she doesn't knit--these yarns are from her late mother)every time she sees me knitting at our women's group. Well, I did go and see her yarns, was manipulated into agreeing that in exchange for some I would make her a sweater. Considering that I'd already given her some sweaters (I'd put on some pounds!)that no longer fit, and only saw her wear once, I decided to ignore my "promise" as it was made under "duress" as well as "undeserved guilt." So I duck her requests that I "stop over" every time she brings up the topic/request. A bit cowardly of me, but a confrontation is not needed as we are a group of women who donate our crafts to our local fair in order to raise scholarships. So next time the "request" comes in, I will tell her that I've got a long list of projects for our organization. 

I'm beginning to think that knitters are some of the most patient people in the world. Oh, and thanks for the price lists...I think that mentioning $200 for an adult sweater will turn these thoughtless, greedy people away and that will be good.


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## bridget J (Oct 6, 2011)

Wow, I'm amazed at some of the things I've read here, I have never had this happen to me but having read this I'm now prepared with lots of responces. 
All I can add is know your value and don't be taken advantage of. Knitting for charity is your choice, most of the people recieving the garments have literally nothing, not like a lot of the so called " friends" asking for freebies!
Sorry if that sounds harsh, it's just how I feel!!


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## cbjlinda (May 25, 2011)

Hmmmm I think I would have asked her what she would be able to do for me since we were such good friends that would reciprecate for the amount I was doing for her.".


ScotKnits said:


> When I was leaving work one day a lady who was waiting to pick someone up from my workplace said "hey, you knit a lot don't you? I said yes and she asked me to knit her a sweater - she wanted me to bring some pattern books so she could choose one. I told her I didn't have time to knit the sweater as I'm working on projects for my family. She said but I'm you're best friend (I don't even know her except to say hello). I told her If I had time to knit a sweater it would cost around $150.00 for the yarn & my time. She said you must have lots of yarn you can use and I'm not paying you for knitting me a sweater - since we're friends you should do it for free!!


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## EileenED (Aug 19, 2011)

People can be so rude


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## Barbara from Virginia (Oct 25, 2011)

Hi, I was in England for a week in September. I didn't get to Devon this visit (I had years ago while working for the US government in London). I Spent two days in Dover and joined a local knitting group at a cafe.  

Concerning the liberty taker, could it have been a way of joking? It is difficult to believe that the individual would have been serious.


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## MoMo (Apr 28, 2011)

When we first got married ( and I was knitting) my DH always " politely" refused anything that I sugguested I make for him. he is from the Azores, and the family was so poor that they had to borrow shoes to make his first Communion in, They routinely went to school barefooted, and they learned to associate hand made with " homemade".It was the mark of distinction that set them apart as being "poor" from those whose family could provide something store-bought, which always seemed to be the bright star, unattainable and shining in the distance. Once the difference was pointed out to Joe, he didn;t chamge his mond immediately, but,over the years has accepted, worn and ASKED ME TO MAke him various things... I think it is a matter of perception. and there is a world of difference ( not only in the stitching, but socially as well) between homemade and handmade. MoMo


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## 3mom (Apr 20, 2011)

Do you think they're selfish, or just VERY ignorant????


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## 3mom (Apr 20, 2011)

SherryH said:


> People are astounding, many seem to think if it isn't "bought from a store" it doesn't cost anything or if it's handmade it isn't "as good as" something from a store...how stupid and thoughtless. As to the so called friend...if she were actually a friend she wouldn't have asked. For the boss, ask her what she's making. And Christi, volunteering is good, being volunteered isn't always.


I think "stupid" and "thoughtless" are two good words. And extremely ignorant.


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## patocenizo (Jun 24, 2011)

Ignorance or arrogance comes to mind.


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## Grandma val (Oct 6, 2011)

I am going to a baby shower this afternoon [my neice is expecting a baby girl in 7 weeks] I have knitted a lacy dress two mattinee coats in a lovely design and a hooded jacket everyone I have shown them to says they are beautiful, BUT my worry is she wont use them , no one seems to wear handmade things , hope I havnt wasted my time [ and money] lol


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## rjazz (Feb 9, 2011)

it really amazes me that someone would walk into a department store and spend $100 or more on a sweater that is hanging with 15 copies, but won't pay $100 for a one of a kind design!


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## bridget J (Oct 6, 2011)

I was only talking to a friend yesterday about how some new mums don't like handmade knitted things, I really don't know why. I tell people every stitch is knitted with love!
To the lady going to the baby shower, I'm sure you're things will be greatly appreciated. Have fun!


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## Bekaknits (Mar 31, 2011)

how about the nerve of my Brother who through a project at me and said it will give me something to do.

i was not employed at the time, but my husband and i ran a roofing business. i had three children under 8, a house to keep, and dinner on the table every night.

i needed something to do.

Beka


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## dwidget (May 30, 2011)

i would ask her if she ever thought of taking knitting lessons and she can make them herself. also mention how much satisfaction she would get from creating an item out of a ball of yarn.


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## flohel (Jan 24, 2011)

A few years ago a man I worked with asked me to knit a sweater for his wife for christmas. He paid for the yarn and picked the pattern I did the rest. The vibes I got from his wife was she did not like it. Now I only knit for family members who appreciate.


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## flitri (Jun 13, 2011)

The manager where I used to work was going on holiday in a weeks time, she asked a friend of mine sho also did knitting if she could make her a cardigan before she went away. The answer was NO the manager just didn't understand that it takes time to hand knit things.


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## Grandma val (Oct 6, 2011)

thanks for that comment, beleive it or not I have put on the gift tag, With all my love in every stitch from aunty Val xlol


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## Cindy M (Sep 5, 2011)

Update, I did tell her no. She said, well I thought about it and the cost of the yarn would be a lot anyway. *nothing about my time*. Sour grapes, but oh well. My time is too valuable to waste on someone who won't appreciate it.


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## gsbyrge (Jul 12, 2011)

What a great response. I'm going to file it away for future use. I consider myself blessed - I've knit things for co-workers who complained that I didn't charge them ENOUGH!


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## Plague (Oct 17, 2011)

Christi said:


> Do you all think it is bad if I volunteer my time to make stuff for my infant classroom at the daycare I work for such as washcloths and soft pillows for the kids to play on in the little cubbie nook I have in my classroom? My boss said he would pay for the yarn I buy plus the polyfiberfill. I didn't think it was bad.....I kind of like doing it as I am also able to work on it during working hours.


If you choose to make something at work the boss may find out just how time consuming your knitting is... and that it may be more expensive than buying them ready made.


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## Barbara from Virginia (Oct 25, 2011)

I most certainly agree with that!


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## mccreamg (Oct 2, 2011)

I usually tell people like this " I am very sorry I really don't have the time right now. But if you would like to get a pattern I will help you pick out the appropriate yarn and needles and when you and i can agree upon a time to knit/crochet/tat together I will be glad to bring my project to your place and help you learn how to knit/crochet/tat.
Alot will accept and never have time, some will just outright say they do not have time, and a very few will actually take me up.
Well another Knitter/crocheter/tatter is born.


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## evesch (Apr 3, 2011)

misslovebug said:


> Some people just don't seem to appreciate the work that goes into knitted and handmade things.
> I would of loved to of seen their face when you told them how much they sell for! lol People think because you make it, it doesn't cost anything! Some people can be so ignorant.
> 
> xx


As my hubby tells it for one of the items I made for him It just cost around $500. for that tiny item! We raise our own sheep and I spin the wool into yarn and knit things sometimes. So He was including all the expenses.....well for one sheep anyway. So it does actually cost a lot more than store bought crap.


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## mccreamg (Oct 2, 2011)

I usually tell people like this " I am very sorry I really don't have the time right now. But if you would like to get a pattern I will help you pick out the appropriate yarn and needles and when you and i can agree upon a time to knit/crochet/tat together I will be glad to bring my project to your place and help you learn how to knit/crochet/tat.
Alot will accept and never have time, some will just outright say they do not have time, and a very few will actually take me up.
Well another Knitter/crocheter/tatter is born.


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## KateWood (Apr 30, 2011)

Missunoriginalknitwit said:


> I agree and empathise. I'll never forget my sister-in-law one Christmas, years ago, when I was first married and we had not much cash. I knitted my young nephew a lovely blue tank top with a picture of a red train on it and gave it to him as part of his Christmas present. A few days later she was having 'words' with me (we never truly shared similar views) and outcame this, "..... at least I paid REAL money for my presents!!!". Like the effort was nothing and the wool was free - I was gutted as I really thought my nephew would love the top but I never saw him wear it
> xXx


The little boy probably loved his sweater. His mother was acting like a huge conceited greedy hag who reveled in gutting you because she had forethought the comments she planned to say to hurt you. "Out of the mouth comes the hearts abundance" Wow what a lesson for your nephew.


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## Plague (Oct 17, 2011)

I have two grown daughters. One is very fussy. When I had first started knitting I made up a hat in colors she would love, but there were some mistakes, so I gave it to someone less fussy. Last year she saw him wearing it and mentioned to him what a great hat it was. He told her the truth, that I had made it for her, but felt that it was not up to her standards. It was quite shocking to her but on the upside it made a great change in her appreciation for my knitted gifts.


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## stubbynose (May 30, 2011)

Missunoriginalknitwit said:


> Thanks Shelby. I wanted to break friends with her on many occasions but that would have meant upsetting my mum and brother and their two children... She is older and more 'mellow' now thank goodness but it just shows, we never forget these things[/quote
> 
> Here is something I got sent from a friend of mine just this week, it is a great lesson for everyone, your comment above reminded me of it so I thought I would post it one here...words are very powerful ....sometimes though they can scar you for a life time no matter how hard you try and forget ....you will never forget the words!! Hope you all enjoy the following life lesson!!
> 
> Paula - A teacher in New York was teaching her class about bullying and gave them the following exercise to perform. She had the children take a piece of paper and told them to crumple it up, stamp on it and really mess it up but do not rip it. Then she had them unfold the paper, smooth it out and look at how scarred and dirty is was. She then told them to tell it theyre sorry. ...Now even though they said ......they were sorry and tried to fix the paper, she pointed out all the scars they left behind. And that those scars will never go away no matter how hard they tried to fix it. That is what happens when a child bullys another child, they may say theyre sorry but the scars are there forever. The looks on the faces of the children in the classroom told her the message hit home.


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## jstrr1 (Feb 26, 2011)

People just don't get it. I once had a lady ask me how much she would charge to make a knitted lace table cloth for a table that seats 12 "IF" she bought the yarn. I threw a "needle" in that one right away by telling her, "you supply the yarn and I charge 13.50 and hour knitting time." She asked how long it would take and I told her...LOL..."100 hours" She hasn't asked again. PEOPLE!


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## ompuff (Apr 9, 2011)

stubbynose said:


> Missunoriginalknitwit said:
> 
> 
> > Thanks Shelby. I wanted to break friends with her on many occasions but that would have meant upsetting my mum and brother and their two children... She is older and more 'mellow' now thank goodness but it just shows, we never forget these things[/quote
> ...


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## mccreamg (Oct 2, 2011)

I think a new name is needed for what we do. Crafting makes it sound like it is not time consuming. When I think of crafting I harken back to 1st or 2nd grade when it only took 45 minutes to make something. I think alot of people do the same and don't realize how much honest hard work and love goes into each stitch.


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## joycevv (Oct 13, 2011)

Let's face it, people who don't knit have no idea how much time it takes to complete even a small project. I've given up on knitting sweaters for people, other than for myself or small ones for baby presents. (I knit my husband the most beautiful Guernsey last Christmas which he hardly wore because it was too nice)! One thing I know is appreciated are my socks; best friends and family wear theirs all the time in the winter. A coffee mug in a gift shop said, "I knit to keep from coming unravelled." It really doesn't matter what we knit as long as we're enjoying the process!


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## Tripleransom (Jan 28, 2011)

Christi said:


> Do you all think it is bad if I volunteer my time to make stuff for my infant classroom at the daycare I work for such as washcloths and soft pillows for the kids to play on in the little cubbie nook I have in my classroom? My boss said he would pay for the yarn I buy plus the polyfiberfill. I didn't think it was bad.....I kind of like doing it as I am also able to work on it during working hours.


The point is, that's something you want to do. Of course it's not bad!


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## lgalante (Aug 6, 2011)

With "friends" that like who needs enemies. People are just jealous that they are not as talented...


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## Barbara from Virginia (Oct 25, 2011)

How could such an action possibly be bad????


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## henhouse2011 (Feb 20, 2011)

If they are just ignorant I try to educate them nicely. If they expect it free I ask how much time they are prepared to trade me.


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## Barbara from Virginia (Oct 25, 2011)

Wonderful response.


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## cathy47 (Jun 6, 2011)

Some people have a mind set that they were born with spoon in mouth and they should GET what ever their hearts want. But you handled that quite well. Ya just forgot to offer to teach her how to make them. That always seals the deal.


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## LuLuLeesa (Jan 26, 2011)

mccreamg said:


> I think a new name is needed for what we do. Crafting makes it sound like it is not time consuming. When I think of crafting I harken back to 1st or 2nd grade when it only took 45 minutes to make something. I think alot of people do the same and don't realize how much honest hard work and love goes into each stitch.


There is...it is called needle art  actually I think it's called textile art


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## gypsie (May 28, 2011)

Missunoriginalknitwit said:


> I agree and empathise. I'll never forget my sister-in-law one Christmas, years ago, when I was first married and we had not much cash. I knitted my young nephew a lovely blue tank top with a picture of a red train on it and gave it to him as part of his Christmas present. A few days later she was having 'words' with me (we never truly shared similar views) and out came this, "..... at least I paid REAL money for my presents!!!". Like the effort was nothing and the wool was free - I was gutted as I really thought my nephew would love the top but I never saw him wear it
> xXx


I think that is the most horrible knitting story I have ever read! Bless You! Happy Knitting!


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## kerrie35094 (Jul 2, 2011)

My son asked me to make an afghan a couple of years ago. I made it and, even though I didn't think it looked great, gave it to him. My DIL told me that he uses it almost every night and "hides" it in his closet every day to make sure no one touches it! That's appreciation.

On the other hand, a friend asked me to make something and said she would pay me. Since she's a good friend, I went ahead with the project - 50 hours worth. Yep, she paid me. $30.

Guess which one I'll be knitting for in the future?


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## Cookie7 (Sep 13, 2011)

I sympathise - my nemesis is a daughter in law who seems to prefer ASDA (Wal-Mart) clothes to the pure wool jumpers I knit my three lovely grandsons. After being unwrapped one particlar item was parked on the stairs for three days!


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## rockoak (Jan 22, 2011)

Back in the day when I was selling my HANDknit children's sweaters at craft shows, I had one experience that really
sticks with me. A woman insisted that my sweaters were
machine knit and stood there and practically called me a
liar! My tension is pretty even, but REALLY!! She finally
moved on, but the experience has not been forgotten....


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## mccreamg (Oct 2, 2011)

Ok but maybe Needlework? I don't know Needle Art is a very good discription.


dizzileesa said:


> mccreamg said:
> 
> 
> > I think a new name is needed for what we do. Crafting makes it sound like it is not time consuming. When I think of crafting I harken back to 1st or 2nd grade when it only took 45 minutes to make something. I think alot of people do the same and don't realize how much honest hard work and love goes into each stitch.
> ...


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## grammyjacie (Oct 13, 2011)

I think it's wonderful that you can do that. I hope to eventually have time to do some knitting for the children's hospital in Portland, OR.
Jacie


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## eneurian (May 4, 2011)

Cindy M said:


> Just yesterday, my boss approached me and expects me to make 30 potholders for a Christmas event coming up in three weeks. She'll buy the yarn but no compensation for my time. It would put all my stuff for Christmas on hold. She has no appreciation for how much time something like that would take. Talk about nerve! I'm just going to have to say no.


just make them on company time. thank way you get paid and you can do your company work on overtime.


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## gmemaw (Oct 29, 2011)

No, I don't think you should feel bad about that. You could get the little hands busy with stuffing. You could start a new chain of "crafters" and they would be proud of "their" projects. If you have the time and want to do it, good for you.


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## LuLuLeesa (Jan 26, 2011)

Well, maybe I can make everyone's day by passing this information along to you. The history of knitting. It goes back to Egypt and the middle east, to Europe and brought over to America. This way, if people want to pick on us, which I know they have done the same to me... give them some history lol http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_knitting


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## leslie41447 (Feb 7, 2011)

Tell her you would be glad to make them but only on business time... not personal time!


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## Debbie J (Feb 9, 2011)

Missunoriginalknitwit said:


> I agree and empathise. I'll never forget my sister-in-law one Christmas, years ago, when I was first married and we had not much cash. I knitted my young nephew a lovely blue tank top with a picture of a red train on it and gave it to him as part of his Christmas present. A few days later she was having 'words' with me (we never truly shared similar views) and out came this, "..... at least I paid REAL money for my presents!!!". Like the effort was nothing and the wool was free - I was gutted as I really thought my nephew would love the top but I never saw him wear it
> xXx


I would much rather have a handmade gift than on that cost mega bucks and everyone and their dog had one like it. To me, it really is the thought that counts. When you knit or crochet a gift for someone, you think of that person the whole time you are making it. I always try to say a prayer for the person I am making the gift for. Some people are so rude and crude!

Oh, and my son said something similar to me after I had made a birthday card for him. That really hurts when it comes from family!


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## Barbara from Virginia (Oct 25, 2011)

:thumbup


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## gypsie (May 28, 2011)

Missunoriginalknitwit said:


> Thanks Shelby. I wanted to break friends with her on many occasions but that would have meant upsetting my mum and brother and their two children... She is older and more 'mellow' now thank goodness but it just shows, we never forget these things


You really don't have to be friends with her. She is a family member. All you have to do is be polite at family gatherings.


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## gmemaw (Oct 29, 2011)

I never would make (give) my former MIL any of my projects, because she like "stuff" you paid for in a store. So she got the cheap machine made from the store. Everyone else got my "homemade" stuff.


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## horsewoofie (Apr 10, 2011)

Cindy M said:


> Just yesterday, my boss approached me and expects me to make 30 potholders for a Christmas event coming up in three weeks. She'll buy the yarn but no compensation for my time. It would put all my stuff for Christmas on hold. She has no appreciation for how much time something like that would take. Talk about nerve! I'm just going to have to say no.


Tell her you'll make the potholders but it will be done during business hours, that someone will have to cover all of your job duties, that you will be paid your normal pay PLUS any overtime needed to complete the project. Afterall, this is a business project she committed to.


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## dana768 (Jun 14, 2011)

scotknit,

I think I would have looked her in the eye, laughed,
and told her she is very very comical.....
and swiftly walk away. :lol:


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## KnitPicker (Jan 19, 2011)

Christi said:


> Do you all think it is bad if I volunteer my time to make stuff for my infant classroom at the daycare I work for such as washcloths and soft pillows for the kids to play on in the little cubbie nook I have in my classroom? My boss said he would pay for the yarn I buy plus the polyfiberfill. I didn't think it was bad.....I kind of like doing it as I am also able to work on it during working hours.


It's one thing to do service for another, especially those who are in need of that service. And if that includes using our talents, I think that is the best way to give a gift. However, when someone selfishly insists that you do something you had no idea of doing and it imposes on you and your family, plus they are capable of paying for such service, that is not good and everyone in that position certainly has a right to say no - and should. For those who try to use guilt to manipulate me, I always say no!

I give my time, money and effort towards several charities, some people I know, some people I never see, but it's because I have made my own free choice to do so, not imposed upon to do it - and I can control the money and time. When people (even in my own family) expect me to do something just because we know each other and they don't want to pay a fair price - that's a selfish imposition. You did good. Keep up your wonderful service!


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## 12773 (Mar 21, 2011)

It breaks my heart to go into a "recycling" shop and see knitted and crocheted items on sale like 25 cents for a delicate doily to five dollars for an entire tablecloth/bedspread. It seems like disrespect to someone's time and skill.


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## brinawitch (Aug 16, 2011)

dizzileesa said:


> mccreamg said:
> 
> 
> > I think a new name is needed for what we do. Crafting makes it sound like it is not time consuming. When I think of crafting I harken back to 1st or 2nd grade when it only took 45 minutes to make something. I think alot of people do the same and don't realize how much honest hard work and love goes into each stitch.
> ...


oh wow i love that "textile art" it really does more effectively communicate what i do. specially since i am not just confined to knitting but will do anything as long as it is fiber in origin. think i am going to change my company name to include that instead of crafts. 
thanks


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## cathy47 (Jun 6, 2011)

gypsie said:


> Missunoriginalknitwit said:
> 
> 
> > I agree and empathise. I'll never forget my sister-in-law one Christmas, years ago, when I was first married and we had not much cash. I knitted my young nephew a lovely blue tank top with a picture of a red train on it and gave it to him as part of his Christmas present. A few days later she was having 'words' with me (we never truly shared similar views) and out came this, "..... at least I paid REAL money for my presents!!!". Like the effort was nothing and the wool was free - I was gutted as I really thought my nephew would love the top but I never saw him wear it
> ...


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## mccreamg (Oct 2, 2011)

good idea. Where is you place of business. I just want the name to denote the amount of time and energy expended. I am tired of people assuming i sit down after a day of Homework and whip these items out in the span of a one hour show.


brinawitch said:


> dizzileesa said:
> 
> 
> > mccreamg said:
> ...


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## carole terese (Mar 7, 2011)

I have been reading some of the letters about relatives & friends, not appreciating our time and love that goes into making gifts.
When my husband and I were first married, we had little money.
My brother in law and sister in law had five little ones.
I made each of them vests, with little smiley face buttons, for Christmas.
We were at their home for New Years Eve and I happened to see the girls dolls had on the "vests", in the toy box.
I was so hurt. I did not address the situation, but now wish I had.
They gave my only child, a pin with her initial, for Christmas and acted like they had given her a million bucks.
Never again! Learned my lesson for sure.
Carole Terese


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## Debbie J (Feb 9, 2011)

gmemaw said:


> I never would make (give) my former MIL any of my projects, because she like "stuff" you paid for in a store. So she got the cheap machine made from the store. Everyone else got my "homemade" stuff.


I have made and given my dear MIL a lot of things. I am so lucky to have her! She used to knit, can't anymore due to arthritis, but she is still crocheting. She is making Joseph's coat lapagans and throws. (These are made from left-over yarns and are picked at random.) I love my MIL! She is my MOM. My Other Mother!


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## brinawitch (Aug 16, 2011)

I actually sell my stuff at craft shows around the area and state. i like doing this because at least i know the poeple who show up at these shows are really looking for nice one of a kind hand made items and usually are willing to spend the money on them. 
usually.... right now i have a twin size blanket that is a very complicated pattern of mix of crochet and knit and i want a hundred dollars for it. which i am told is very cheap. the yarn was a cheap walmart type so i don't feel to bad about the price. but still people look at the price and see if they can haggle with me to take ten or twenty dollars off. 
seriously they are already getting a deal!


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## thatharrisgirl (Apr 14, 2011)

mk said:


> It breaks my heart to go into a "recycling" shop and see knitted and crocheted items on sale like 25 cents for a delicate doily to five dollars for an entire tablecloth/bedspread. It seems like disrespect to someone's time and skill.


I feel the same way when I see obviously new afghans in the thrift store, that someone has taken a lot of time to knit or crochet. I imagine some Grandmother has made them for a beloved Grandchild, and they were taken to the thrift shop because they were too plain, or whatever, for use. Also, doilies, pillows and other items. 
Some peoples children


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## crazyjane (Oct 16, 2011)

There certainly are and haven't any respect for their fellow man.


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## Ingried (Sep 23, 2011)

My Rule: Never make anything for anyone who never makes any effort to create anything of any value. They have no appreciation for what others do.

As to the boss asking to make a number of items in return for just the yarn, ask for knitting at work or be compensated monetarily. Our work deserves respect.


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## Pudgypooh (May 31, 2011)

This is a very nice gesture on your part. I feel it is fine to knit for others if it your choice to do so. I agree with those who are venting about people (especially strangers) who seem to think that knitters should knit for anyone who asks, and then on demand! Rude!


Christi said:


> Do you all think it is bad if I volunteer my time to make stuff for my infant classroom at the daycare I work for such as washcloths and soft pillows for the kids to play on in the little cubbie nook I have in my classroom? My boss said he would pay for the yarn I buy plus the polyfiberfill. I didn't think it was bad.....I kind of like doing it as I am also able to work on it during working hours.


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## kayrein (Aug 24, 2011)

It seems there are rude people in all corners of the world. Someone I barely know saw me out with a knitted hat and fingerless mitts. She said, "Oh, you knit! so, I can come to you with my knittiing needs." It was not a compliment, as she is a pushy, condescending type and I never cared for her or her attitude. I said a flat-out "No" and left it at that. 
Thank goodness there are wonderful people all over the planet too!


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## Debbie J (Feb 9, 2011)

Bekaknits said:


> how about the nerve of my Brother who through a project at me and said it will give me something to do.
> 
> i was not employed at the time, but my husband and i ran a roofing business. i had three children under 8, a house to keep, and dinner on the table every night.
> 
> ...


Beka, your brother needs to walk a mile in your shoes. LOL Or better yet, spend a day doing all that you do. THEN he can throw a project at you and tell you that it will "give you something to do."


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## bellestarr12 (Mar 26, 2011)

some of these posts make me so sad - so many of us have had these experiences. I think it's so important to assert ourselves - ideally with a sense of humor too ;-)

for example, a woman I know saw my handknit socks and said she'd pay me to knit some for her. I smiled sweetly and said, "Oh, you wouldn't want to pay what I'd have to charge! But I'll be happy to teach you how to knit your own." Of course, that never happened.

but my main point is that I don't think we need to explain ourselves or apologize for saying no. As Mason Williams (anybody remember him from the Smothers Brothers TV show?) wrote:

"Soon you realize that 'I don't want to' is the world's best reason."


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## kittyknit (Sep 25, 2011)

Christi said:


> Do you all think it is bad if I volunteer my time to make stuff for my infant classroom at the daycare I work for such as washcloths and soft pillows for the kids to play on in the little cubbie nook I have in my classroom? My boss said he would pay for the yarn I buy plus the polyfiberfill. I didn't think it was bad.....I kind of like doing it as I am also able to work on it during working hours.


Christie, I think you hit on the main point there: you ENJOY it and you CHOOSE to do it, therefore it isn't an imposition on your time and your projects. What I hear the others saying is people are selfishly wanting to impose on their time and talents for their own benefit with no thought of the time it is taking away from their projects they knit b/c they WANT to. I think there is a big difference in my book. And your boss is willing to pay for the yarn and you can work on it at work. Not bad if you are wanting to do that anyway. Good point to bring up. :thumbup:


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## kittyknit (Sep 25, 2011)

carole terese said:


> I have been reading some of the letters about relatives & friends, not appreciating our time and love that goes into making gifts.
> When my husband and I were first married, we had little money.
> My brother in law and sister in law had five little ones.
> I made each of them vests, with little smiley face buttons, for Christmas.
> ...


Carole, it has always amazed me from my own experience, how some of the most hurtful people are a lot of times in families. I think that is where charity should begin, not be optional. 
:? :?


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## Smargit (Apr 2, 2011)

There's no accounting for bad taste and bad manners.


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## DebraPryor (Oct 2, 2011)

Ingried said:


> My Rule: Never make anything for anyone who never makes any effort to create anything of any value. They have no appreciation for what others do.....
> 
> .....Our work deserves respect.


I'm with Ingreid here, I am fortunate not to have had the bad experiences a number of members have suffered.
However many moons ago (like about 30 years) I spent ages creating a fur-fabric ladybug nightdress case for my little niece as a Christmas present. Then my sister was too busy to see us over the Christmas period...... and in fact we didn't see each other or speak for many years after this.

All OK now, as these days she does papercrafts, she is MUCH more appreciative of the time, effort and love involved in making anything for others


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## KnittingBadgerBabe (Mar 7, 2011)

I'm had folks make the same kinds of comments to me. I usually just smile and offer to teach them how to knit. Almost always, they have an excuse why they "can't" spend the time. If they persist on wanting me to make something for them, I give them a price -- based in part on the amount of time it takes me to make something -- and I let them know how many projects are ahead of theirs. (I'm always working on more than one project.) That usually stops them. I don't think folks are trying to be "mean" when they make these comments. I think they just don't know any better.


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## Karoy (Jul 29, 2011)

I would have said "since we are best friends you should make a house payment for me in trade for me knitting you a sweater. After all - we are best friends". How would she like them apples?!? 


ScotKnits said:


> When I was leaving work one day a lady who was waiting to pick someone up from my workplace said "hey, you knit a lot don't you? I said yes and she asked me to knit her a sweater - she wanted me to bring some pattern books so she could choose one. I told her I didn't have time to knit the sweater as I'm working on projects for my family. She said but I'm you're best friend (I don't even know her except to say hello). I told her If I had time to knit a sweater it would cost around $150.00 for the yarn & my time. She said you must have lots of yarn you can use and I'm not paying you for knitting me a sweater - since we're friends you should do it for free!!


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## cezaragoza (Sep 4, 2011)

Go to the dollar store and buy thirty of them... $30 later and charge for gas money - done. Efficient and telling.



Cindy M said:


> Just yesterday, my boss approached me and expects me to make 30 potholders for a Christmas event coming up in three weeks. She'll buy the yarn but no compensation for my time. It would put all my stuff for Christmas on hold. She has no appreciation for how much time something like that would take. Talk about nerve! I'm just going to have to say no.


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## cezaragoza (Sep 4, 2011)

Wow - so creative - I would've just stewed and cried. I love that solution. He is something that rhymes with a "mass hole"! Great job.



pugmom5 said:


> I was making scarfs during lunch and breaks to raise money breast cancer. A few co workers saw me and wanted me to make them scarfs. I said if they bought the yarn and donated my knitting fee to Breast Cancer, I would do it. I had 3 takers,,,that was ok,,,but then one fellow wanted 8 scarfs done, for the one price fee and was upset when I told him it would be $120. (now these are all easy scarfs, straight knitting, or bias knitting, so I do not get bored) But he said any money I get I SHOULD BE GRATEFUL AS IT WAS GOING TO BREAST CANCER!!!! Well I was pissed. But I chained stitched long strands of yarn, 8 different colors. Gave him the chained links and told him to pay up....he should be grateful that I did something for him. Told him if he could be cheap, so could I!!!! Gave my other coworkers a great laugh.


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## Quilter Girl (Apr 23, 2011)

Just recently I wore a pair of socks I made to work. I pointed out to a co-worker who sits close to me and is a good buddy.
A few days later another co-worker-who I am not on the best of terms with, came up to me and said look at the email I sent you. Well I took a look while she was at my desk. It was a cute neck scarf with a button, basic knitting pretty short and in a chunky yarn. She says-don't you think that's cute? I said yes I did. And she says-probably wouldnt take anytime to knit huh? And I agreed. Well she immediately assumed I would be willing to knit her a scarf for her January trip to London! She started talking about how she doesn't like scratchy yarn, what she wanted it to look like (nothing like the pictured one) and asked how much I would charge her. We talked about yarn prices and yarn types and kind of left it at that. The next day she sent me another email showing one she wants-2 colors and long.
She has not mentioned price or anything else. 
Let me say I love knitting for people and my friend/co-worker mentioned she would like a pair of the socks and I will gladly make her a pair.
The co-worker with the scarf can go jump and if she does push the project I'm charging her $50 bucks for my time and 3 times the price for the yarn! Hopefully that will discourage her.
Incredibly nervy!!!


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## cezaragoza (Sep 4, 2011)

So true - it's almost like seeing the sepia/black n white pictures of someone's relatives at a yardsale. I saw that recently and said - "Say, did you intend to put out family pictures in your sale?" The guy said - "I don't even know who that is." - The person in the photo and the guy I was talking to resembled each other... oh well.



mk said:


> It breaks my heart to go into a "recycling" shop and see knitted and crocheted items on sale like 25 cents for a delicate doily to five dollars for an entire tablecloth/bedspread. It seems like disrespect to someone's time and skill.


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## sandypants (Oct 7, 2011)

People must think that we have elves that come in the middle of the night and do all this knitting. I too have run into this problem. Either with sewing, quilting or knitting, until I tell them what it will cost them. They back down in no time.... Go figure!!!!!


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## cezaragoza (Sep 4, 2011)

jmai5421 said:


> Missunoriginalknitwit said:
> 
> 
> > I agree and empathise. I'll never forget my sister-in-law one Christmas, years ago, when I was first married and we had not much cash. I knitted my young nephew a lovely blue tank top with a picture of a red train on it and gave it to him as part of his Christmas present. A few days later she was having 'words' with me (we never truly shared similar views) and out came this, "..... at least I paid REAL money for my presents!!!". Like the effort was nothing and the wool was free - I was gutted as I really thought my nephew would love the top but I never saw him wear it
> ...


Oh - I'm so sorry - my mouth is still agape - don't know what else to write...


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## jenk57 (May 2, 2011)

Cindy M,
How about if you take the yarn to work and make the pot holdhers there. Your boss will quickly see how much time it takes and may be a little more appreciative!



Cindy M said:


> Just yesterday, my boss approached me and expects me to make 30 potholders for a Christmas event coming up in three weeks. She'll buy the yarn but no compensation for my time. It would put all my stuff for Christmas on hold. She has no appreciation for how much time something like that would take. Talk about nerve! I'm just going to have to say no.


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## cezaragoza (Sep 4, 2011)

I live in the SF Bay Area and I also like to make the fingerless knits... a gal told me her friend sells them for $40/pair - the yarn alone costs about $10 at my LYS - $10 is not that much 



czechmate said:


> I knit in bed till I can't hold my eyes open,and when I have my coffee in the morning ,I knit also,I go to work 1 hr early so I have more time to knit.I have been making and selling fingerless mitts and I feel guilty to sell them for $10...I found out a local farmers market was selling them for $15 and then I was blown away to see the prices on Etsy...my cousin said my time is worth much more.


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## terrachroma (Sep 21, 2011)

I have done stained glass, glass mosaics, crochet delicate doilies, won state fair ribbons, beaded, knit, spun, and on and on.
At every road/journey people have said the dreaded
"You could make those and sell them", Or "How much would it cost for you to make that for me" etc...
I have sold some items, maybe making enough to cover supplies, never enough to cover time.
I have alway felt like the label Crafter does not fully encoumpass our talent, time and creative ability.
I also feel like Artisans such as ourselfs might not fully value our time(and I'm at the top of the pack)and our creative ability, because we feel guilty, and petty asking for the value of our time. 
Reading this Thread has been good for me and I'm sure many others. 
If we can toss out the guilt, value our time and talent we can better respond to those who either have no idea what effort goes into our Art, or those that really don't care.
I don't know what to say about friend and family members that send back/don't appreciate handmade gifts! That in itself is a lack of social and moral upbrining. 
We have all been there in one circumstance or another.
I just want to say I'm glad for this Thread and the fact that folks have been able to get hurtful words and actions off their chest. 
It has been of value to me. Thanks, Robin


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## Muddyann (Jan 29, 2011)

I know what you mean. I had knit two earflap hats for my daughter's nephew (through marriage, although they are now divorced) he's about 6 months old, because they told me he needed some. They took pic of him in one of them, then said, "Both Joe and I want you to make one for us too." I thought for a minute then said, "Sure for $10.00 each and that way you can pick your own color." As I suspected, I haven't heard back from her. Personally, $10.00 was a steal for the time it takes and materials. But socks, oh no, I don't think I would ever make them and give them away to anyone who wasn't family or the best of friends.

My niece was talking about her photography and how people don't value her if she gives people a great deal. She actually had quite a lengthy description of why she charges $100 at other locations with a group of people. Then she said something interesting. She said, "Well, you understand that Aunt Melody with the doll clothes you make." I thought, sweetie we are talking apples and oranges here. I knit, crochet, and sew to keep sane. If I sold them for my time plus materials, I would never be able to sell any of them. But it did give me something to think about. I do realize that people always assume because it's small, it only takes a few minutes to make, when often it is a lot longer than that. 

I was asked to fix a pair of gloves that was unraveling in the palm last Sunday. I told her to take them off and I would bring them home and fix it. She said, "Oh no, I just want you to tie it." I said, "Oh no, I want it to look right." She kept them.


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## Quilter Girl (Apr 23, 2011)

It's amazing what some people can think. While looking at the scarf the co-worker wanted me to make she cracks-you could make that in a day right? WRONG! Jeez...


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## sweetjasmine (Jun 20, 2011)

I had started to crochet things during my kids' karate lessons so I could do something useful while they were in class. The main instructor came over to me and asked if I could make him a outfit with a mandarin collar. I said sorry, I could only make him a black belt (tongue-in-cheek) and laughed it off. After a couple more times he would ask again about the outfit and I told him I really don't have the skills to make something like that (which is true since I just started crocheting at the beginning of the year) and he said sure you can. I don't know if he was just kidding or serious, but it started to irritate me. 

After that, I stopped bringing any crochet projects to work on and now I just bring a book. He's stopped asking since.


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## freckles (May 21, 2011)

Christi said:


> Do you all think it is bad if I volunteer my time to make stuff for my infant classroom at the daycare I work for such as washcloths and soft pillows for the kids to play on in the little cubbie nook I have in my classroom? My boss said he would pay for the yarn I buy plus the polyfiberfill. I didn't think it was bad.....I kind of like doing it as I am also able to work on it during working hours.


I think that's an excellent way to use your craft.
I have solved my dilemna of unappreciative family members. I no longer knit for them personally, and their gift for any holidays is a charity knit donated in their name. There are too many others that really need and appreciate anything they receive. Makes me feel better. Just my opinion.


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## 5mmdpns (Jun 1, 2011)

Sometimes, I think that the crafters just take these "requests" too seriously. The one commenting about them and stating words like "I will take a few pairs, or you could make some for me!" really dont expect you to make them anything. They are paying tribute to your ability to make these things and in their own way are saying that these gifts will really be appreciated by the reciever. They are making statements of admiration about your work. Just say thank you and move on!


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## boring knit (May 9, 2011)

Barbara from Virginia said:


> Hi, I was in England for a week in September. I didn't get to Devon this visit (I had years ago while working for the US government in London). I Spent two days in Dover and joined a local knitting group at a cafe.
> 
> Concerning the liberty taker, could it have been a way of joking? It is difficult to believe that the individual would have been serious.


No Barbara she was deadly serious. I even offered to teach her how to knit socks! Some years ago I would possibly have said oh, ok I'll make you some, but thanks to the KP friends I knew just how to answer her.


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## Homeshppr (Feb 28, 2011)

Christi said:


> Do you all think it is bad if I volunteer my time to make stuff for my infant classroom at the daycare I work for such as washcloths and soft pillows for the kids to play on in the little cubbie nook I have in my classroom? My boss said he would pay for the yarn I buy plus the polyfiberfill. I didn't think it was bad.....I kind of like doing it as I am also able to work on it during working hours.


It's never bad to volunteer yourself for charity work you enjoy.
The key is: You pick the charity, you pick the projects and you do it out of love.

Sounds like your situation is a good one and I know your work will be appreciated. Do it if you feel good about it!! :thumbup:


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## machriste (Jan 26, 2011)

I think your hand-knit socks are worth a lot more than $15.00!!!!!!


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## glacy1 (Sep 30, 2011)

Cindy M said:


> Just yesterday, my boss approached me and expects me to make 30 potholders for a Christmas event coming up in three weeks. She'll buy the yarn but no compensation for my time. It would put all my stuff for Christmas on hold. She has no appreciation for how much time something like that would take. Talk about nerve! I'm just going to have to say no.


Offer to teach her how.... For a fee, so that she appreciates your time. If you offer to teach her for free, she won't value the lesson. (IMHO). I have a neighbor like that. She wanted me to make something for her to donate, I offered to teach her how to knit. I bought the materials for her before our "free" lesson, and after she spent 10 minutes learning, she had to leave. She never had time to come back for more teaching. She still needed the afghan for her donation, and she kept bugging me that it needed done by a certain date. I ended up not only buying the materials, but making the afghan. (It was for a good cause.) When she came to pick it up, as she walked out the door, she told me that she was going to tell them that it took so long to get it because SHE made it and had to learn how first. I was gob-smacked to say the least!

So... I not only paid for the yarn and needles, knitted the afghan for the soldier going to Afghanistan for his fifth tour, but she also took credit for the work it took! Needless to say, we don't speak much anymore! This is only one example of her toxic behavior. I finally had to end our relationship.


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## Nativelady (Oct 20, 2011)

If this is something that you enjoy doing and have the time, go for it. If this was something that was being forced on you, that would be a different story. :thumbup:


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## cezaragoza (Sep 4, 2011)

15 pounds IS more than $15... about $25 dollars - but even then - you're right!



machriste said:


> I think your hand-knit socks are worth a lot more than $15.00!!!!!!


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## Karena (Jul 3, 2011)

If you have been reared well, this type doesn't think before speaking. And there are the ones who "know better than you do" not just about some thing, everything! I think you offer to point toward the ones for sale was an excellent answer--just a helpful suggestion. Good job. 
:thumbup:


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## mojave (Oct 14, 2011)

I am so possesive of my knitting (stitching, sewing, photography, gardening) time, I almost never offer to teach someone to knit. I provide the address and phone number to one of the local yarn shops and suggest the person sign up for lessons. I view it as a way to help keep the yarn shops in business.

I do offer gardening suggestions because it is part of being a Master Gardener. And those who dare ask me to do the work are quickly informed that it is against the rules for us to come to an individual's house in the Master Gardener guise.


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## Lenn (Jun 8, 2011)

seems like we all have our war stories. I had made a hat when I was still fairly new toknitting, and I still consider myself fairly new, and I knit a hat that was a little on the large size. (even though I followed the pattern) Any way I took it to work and one of my coworkers liked it so I told her $30.00. I made the mistake of giving it to her right then and there and did not see the money for another month and a half. She eventually paid me, but how can you go for that long and not acknowledge that you owed me money. (and I saw her every flipping day). Then my boss said you can knit me a hat in Dallas cowboy colors. I did but ended up ripping it and made a solid black. Ok so now I am making a vest and she found out about it and said "You can make me one." I said sure for a price. She laughed and basically said No and that I needed the practice anyway. Ungrateful B---h.

So I had made a friend a beautiful black and blue scarf last year and had made a shawl for him to give his mother. (all free because He is a dear friend) So we were texting the other day and I told him about the two scarves I finished and the sweater too and he says" I need a new scarf" so I reminded him of the one I gave him last year for Christmas and told him that he probably didnt use it. He said he did.

Just get so irritated that people dont realize the time and effort and money it takes to make something for someone. I have yet to make something for myself.


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## mamiepooh (Sep 19, 2011)

MoMo said:


> My sister ( "Queen Eileen") had two little girls. One year I saved EVERY single scrap of wool, and made them each matching cardigan sweaters for Christmas. They had red bodices, and the sleeves were multi-colored scraps. This was not the type that left the ends flying loose. Each end was securely knitted in, in a double seed pattern so that the irregiularity of so many joins was disguised. The Queen was livid that I thought so little of her children as to make them " that" for Christmas. ( I should mention that the little girls LOVED the sweaters, and between them, there are now 11 grandchildren who also love handmade and " designed with love" sweaters made just for them! The Queen remains cantankerous and difficult in all matters!!!)Guess there is one like that in most families!! LOL!! MoMo


You should have told us that they cloned Queen Eileen ... loll


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## knitonepurlone (Mar 27, 2011)

I make co-workers, baby items when they are pregnant. One co-worker's child, for whatever unknown reason, liked the afghan I had made her and carried it everywhere! "Mom" couldn't even wash it, because the child wouldn't let go of it. One day she came to me and told me that the afghan had gotten caught in the stroller wheels & her daughter still wouldn't give it up. She kindly asked if I would have time to knit another one and she would gladly pay for it. I told her yes - then the dilemma occurred - the yarn I had used was discontinued and she wanted it to look the same so she could somehow just switch it out! She helped me search for the yarn and found it online and bought the last skeins they had which was more then enough for the afghan. The switch occurred rather easily as she went to pick up her daughter from day care and the afghan was on the living room floor and the daughter was in the back yard. My co-worker ran out to the truck and got the new afghan and switched it out - her daughter never realized it and is still carrying it. She has since had a 2nd daughter and she too won't let go of the afghan I made her! Strange that they both liked that the best of the ones she had received.


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## Muddyann (Jan 29, 2011)

I think what hurt me most was after I had made a bunch of doll clothes for my granddaughter, her mom went through her bedroom and anything on the floor went to a garage sale. She sold the doll clothes for 25 cents each. (At least the ones, I didn't get to in time to grab up and put in my purse) I was so hurt.


kittyknit said:


> carole terese said:
> 
> 
> > I have been reading some of the letters about relatives & friends, not appreciating our time and love that goes into making gifts.
> ...


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## DorothyLWM (May 8, 2011)

PurpleV said:


> pug retirement said:
> 
> 
> > ScotKnits said:
> ...


I LIKE the way you think!


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## Muddyann (Jan 29, 2011)

I don't think it's wrong to give anyone or any organization a gift of your labor of love, if that is what you want to do. What is wrong is when someone takes for granted that gift and expects y ou to do it for them for little or nothing. Appreciating someone's work is always great, expecting it is not.


freckles said:


> Christi said:
> 
> 
> > Do you all think it is bad if I volunteer my time to make stuff for my infant classroom at the daycare I work for such as washcloths and soft pillows for the kids to play on in the little cubbie nook I have in my classroom? My boss said he would pay for the yarn I buy plus the polyfiberfill. I didn't think it was bad.....I kind of like doing it as I am also able to work on it during working hours.
> ...


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## nancyk (Aug 2, 2011)

The same thing happened to me. Someone wanted me to "whip up" this complicated, time consuming knitting pattern and just give it to her.
All of you are right. They just have no concept.
I didn't answer except to say I was flattered she thought I could do it. And I have never mentioned it again and neither has she. I guess she's smarter than I gave her credit for.


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## DollDreser (Aug 30, 2011)

Maybe she was just kidding!



boring knit said:


> On the subject of people disrespecting the time and effort we all put into our lovely craftwork: I went to a club yesterday in the village and someone I'd never met or been introduced to said, when seeing the socks I knit. "You can knit me a couple of pairs, I need some for friends for Christmas presents. Unbelievable. I told her if I did it wouldn't be this Christmas as I knit for a lot of family members and had a long list to do. Also told her I'd seen similar hand knit socks for sale at craft sale for £l5 per pair. End of conversation. I just can't understand how someone can just come out and ask such a thing. There are some strange people in the world eh.


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## Muddyann (Jan 29, 2011)

That is so wonderful. I like to hear those heartwarming stories.


knitonepurlone said:


> I make co-workers, baby items when they are pregnant. One co-worker's child, for whatever unknown reason, liked the afghan I had made her and carried it everywhere! "Mom" couldn't even wash it, because the child wouldn't let go of it. One day she came to me and told me that the afghan had gotten caught in the stroller wheels & her daughter still wouldn't give it up. She kindly asked if I would have time to knit another one and she would gladly pay for it. I told her yes - then the dilemma occurred - the yarn I had used was discontinued and she wanted it to look the same so she could somehow just switch it out! She helped me search for the yarn and found it online and bought the last skeins they had which was more then enough for the afghan. The switch occurred rather easily as she went to pick up her daughter from day care and the afghan was on the living room floor and the daughter was in the back yard. My co-worker ran out to the truck and got the new afghan and switched it out - her daughter never realized it and is still carrying it. She has since had a 2nd daughter and she too won't let go of the afghan I made her! Strange that they both liked that the best of the ones she had received.


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## DebraPryor (Oct 2, 2011)

Knitonepurlone

Lovely to hear a 'treasured' story amid all of our fairly negative ones... Made me smile.... thankyou


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## nancyk (Aug 2, 2011)

I don't think she was kidding. She was getting into what colors would be nice for her. I thought then she was serious about it.


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## Juleen (Jun 3, 2011)

I completely understand about your SIL and how that hurts! While knitting wasn't involved, I asked my SIL if she wanted to go to lunch. She told me she lived on a different socio-economical level than I did (we were both teachers and poor as church mice) and she wouldn't be seen with me! Good thing I didn't have knitting needles in my hands about then!


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## Karena (Jul 3, 2011)

You should get an award, not only for the sweaters, which most likely were lovely, but for putting up with the Queen.


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## DorothyLWM (May 8, 2011)

Plague said:


> I have two grown daughters. One is very fussy. When I had first started knitting I made up a hat in colors she would love, but there were some mistakes, so I gave it to someone less fussy. Last year she saw him wearing it and mentioned to him what a great hat it was. He told her the truth, that I had made it for her, but felt that it was not up to her standards. It was quite shocking to her but on the upside it made a great change in her appreciation for my knitted gifts.


That is a Great story!


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## Karena (Jul 3, 2011)

Even if you have the talent, and some do more than others, the time and effort put into an exacting pattern should be rewarded, not dismissed as something some just do, like it is an innate ability rather than a learned skill. And learning that skill has taken its toll on me, my time and purse. 
Some people just don't get it, never will. 
:shock:


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## DebraPryor (Oct 2, 2011)

Karena said:


> Even if you have the talent, and some do more than others, the time and effort put into an exacting pattern should be rewarded, not dismissed as something some just do, like it is an innate ability rather than a learned skill. And learning that skill has taken its toll on me, my time and purse.
> Some people just don't get it, never will.
> :shock:


So true!


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## Karena (Jul 3, 2011)

When I was younger, I would have said you spoiled her. But some people just turn out that way. Fussy about what, what is the big deal if there is a little flaw, mother made it. 
Wish I had some things made for me.


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## DorothyLWM (May 8, 2011)

gypsie said:


> Missunoriginalknitwit said:
> 
> 
> > I agree and empathise. I'll never forget my sister-in-law one Christmas, years ago, when I was first married and we had not much cash. I knitted my young nephew a lovely blue tank top with a picture of a red train on it and gave it to him as part of his Christmas present. A few days later she was having 'words' with me (we never truly shared similar views) and out came this, "..... at least I paid REAL money for my presents!!!". Like the effort was nothing and the wool was free - I was gutted as I really thought my nephew would love the top but I never saw him wear it
> ...


I agree. She sounds like my sister in law, who thought she should spend half as much on each of my four children for the Christmas exchange, as I spent on her two children. If a person feels that way, don't bother at all. Just admit you're a cheap, selfish &()^$% and let it go.

My mouth actually dropped open when I read that sister in law's comment. What a vicious beast!

My children, now grown, have each gone through their tighter money times. We have made it a family custom to encourage hand-made gifts, with more thought than money, and prize those gifts far above some of the commercial junk you can buy, even if it's expensive commercial junk. 
That's really more the idea of Christmas, isn't it? The wise men didn't arrive and hand the Baby a $50 bill.


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## DorothyLWM (May 8, 2011)

annabell said:


> I think we all have had that happen - i have a list of 'prices' for different items - printed on the back of my business cards - sweaters $250, simple hats $25, fancy hats $50, etc. Oddly enough - I never hear from them again - I wonder why?


That's a great idea. It would be worth the price of the business cards, just for the look on their faces. :thumbup:


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## Heartigan (Aug 29, 2011)

In reading and skimming this thread, I am amazed at how the hurtful things said are so remembered for such long periods of time. The old saying 'sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never harm me' is just so false. We tender-hearted crafters and artisans who knit,crochet, craft, sew, quilt and paint, do so first with our hearts and then with our hands. Even though there is selfish inconsideration in this world, I prefer to continue all my creative outlets, because in giving, I am receiving and that is enough for me. My talent (aka patience) is a gift and I'm not gonna hide this gift under a basket. I choose to let this light of mine shine. And by the way, I have a well-stocked drawer of heart bandaids, for when there is little appreciation or consideration. I am glad to share!


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## knitinwbl (Aug 19, 2011)

I think if you are the one to volunteer the work then it is great it is when someone assumes that you will do it without any concern to other projects you are working on. The babies will love the new soft pillows you will make. It is always fun to make for those that will use and appreciate the gift.


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## knitinwbl (Aug 19, 2011)

Christi said:


> Do you all think it is bad if I volunteer my time to make stuff for my infant classroom at the daycare I work for such as washcloths and soft pillows for the kids to play on in the little cubbie nook I have in my classroom? My boss said he would pay for the yarn I buy plus the polyfiberfill. I didn't think it was bad.....I kind of like doing it as I am also able to work on it during working hours.


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## DorothyLWM (May 8, 2011)

Heartigan said:


> In reading and skimming this thread, I am amazed at how the hurtful things said are so remembered for such long periods of time. The old saying 'sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never harm me' is just so false. We tender-hearted crafters and artisans who knit,crochet, craft, sew, quilt and paint, do so first with our hearts and then with our hands. Even though there is selfish inconsideration in this world, I prefer to continue all my creative outlets, because in giving, I am receiving and that is enough for me. My talent (aka patience) is a gift and I'm not gonna hide this gift under a basket. I choose to let this light of mine shine. And by the way, I have a well-stocked drawer of heart bandaids, for when there is little appreciation or consideration. I am glad to share!


Needle artisans ARE glad to share--more than most would even consider. What is Not right is to be slapped in the face for a person's efforts, with the lack of appreciation for the time, talent, patience, generosity that was given with each hand-made item. This is NOT ok.

People should Not be allowed to treat others like this, and we shouldn't have to keep "heart bandages" to try and cover the damage that the selfish have unleashed on kinder hearts.

I really believe it is much more acceptable to hand them a card with your prices, or agree to make those items if they'll come clean your house for you while you work on what they want, or agree to do their requested work on their company time, and so on.

It isn't even a favor to the obnoxious to allow them to think they have a right to treat others that way. Someone else may very well punch them in the nose for that kind of verbal assault.
And it would be deserved.


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## Karena (Jul 3, 2011)

Asking an acquaintance to buy nice expensive yarn and knit a sweater, from her pattern choice, is about the rudest thing I have heard in a while. I guess they think those who knit are needy people with no life, and get rewards for serving others. I can say, not! I am educated, worked hard, done well and enjoy knitting gifts. My stuff is not expensive. I could buy any expensive item that I really, really, wanted, but don't. Hand made is personal. For me with little natural talent, it is a special effort too! Doubt my little amature mistakes would pass scrutiny, but who cares, I'm happy.


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## bcleveland (Mar 27, 2011)

Missunoriginalknitwit said:


> I agree and empathise. I'll never forget my sister-in-law one Christmas, years ago, when I was first married and we had not much cash. I knitted my young nephew a lovely blue tank top with a picture of a red train on it and gave it to him as part of his Christmas present. A few days later she was having 'words' with me (we never truly shared similar views) and out came this, "..... at least I paid REAL money for my presents!!!". Like the effort was nothing and the wool was free - I was gutted as I really thought my nephew would love the top but I never saw him wear it
> xXx


I know that feeling..I don't think anyone but another knitter can appreciate our labors of love. After this Christmas, I will be knitting for ME.


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## Karena (Jul 3, 2011)

Yes, a gift is about giving. Never heard what we are supposed to do, or feel, if the gift isn't appreciated or outrightr rejected. 
The ugly sister-in-law should be cussed out, big time, then you repent in private, feel sorry for her that she missed something in the human department. Ha.


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## bcleveland (Mar 27, 2011)

boring knit said:


> On the subject of people disrespecting the time and effort we all put into our lovely craftwork: I went to a club yesterday in the village and someone I'd never met or been introduced to said, when seeing the socks I knit. "You can knit me a couple of pairs, I need some for friends for Christmas presents. Unbelievable. I told her if I did it wouldn't be this Christmas as I knit for a lot of family members and had a long list to do. Also told her I'd seen similar hand knit socks for sale at craft sale for £l5 per pair. End of conversation. I just can't understand how someone can just come out and ask such a thing. There are some strange people in the world eh.


I have learned to say " I really don't have the time, or money, but I would be happy to teach you the basics of knitting, and to use the better price and quality of yarn" that usually stops them cold!!


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## ann headley (Mar 22, 2011)

People that do not knit or crochet or any crafts have no idea how much time it takes and patients let alone the price of the yarn. I really do not think they care of they would not ask. my feelings on this is if they have the nerve to ask me to make them something for FREE then i have the right to tell them NO!!!! ann


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## noni (Apr 12, 2011)

Amen!!!


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## Dlclose (Jun 26, 2011)

ScotKnits said:


> When I was leaving work one day a lady who was waiting to pick someone up from my workplace said "hey, you knit a lot don't you? I said yes and she asked me to knit her a sweater - she wanted me to bring some pattern books so she could choose one. I told her I didn't have time to knit the sweater as I'm working on projects for my family. She said but I'm you're best friend (I don't even know her except to say hello). I told her If I had time to knit a sweater it would cost around $150.00 for the yarn & my time. She said you must have lots of yarn you can use and I'm not paying you for knitting me a sweater - since we're friends you should do it for free!!


Oh my gosh! What an attitude! Would she ask you to just buy her a present?!


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## Karena (Jul 3, 2011)

Good answer, these people scatter like sheep when you suggest they take it upon themselves to create. They are not just nervy, but ignorant of what it takes. 
Don't let an opportunity go by to educate these people and become aware that you respect yourself and your time, talent, and money. I think some peple believe we spin the yarn. Suggest a nice shop where they can purchase, "say let's look at $10-20 a skein, 4 or 5 skeins might do it. Want some help?" 
You are left in the dust.


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## CarolBest (Sep 14, 2011)

flip side: Years ago when I was going through a bad time I knitted shawls for my sisters for Christmas. I felt so ashamed that I couldn't afford real presents. Several years latter my sister told me that she would take that shawl out and show it to her up-scale friends and tell them that her sister made it for her.

It never occured to me that the things I made out of string were valued.


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## anneevamod (Apr 16, 2011)

jmai5421 said:


> Missunoriginalknitwit said:
> 
> 
> > I agree and empathise. I'll never forget my sister-in-law one Christmas, years ago, when I was first married and we had not much cash. I knitted my young nephew a lovely blue tank top with a picture of a red train on it and gave it to him as part of his Christmas present. A few days later she was having 'words' with me (we never truly shared similar views) and out came this, "..... at least I paid REAL money for my presents!!!". Like the effort was nothing and the wool was free - I was gutted as I really thought my nephew would love the top but I never saw him wear it
> ...


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## Karena (Jul 3, 2011)

Yes, great idea, and fun to watch them squirm out of it.


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## 81brighteyes (Feb 17, 2011)

ScotKnits said:


> When I was leaving work one day a lady who was waiting to pick someone up from my workplace said "hey, you knit a lot don't you? I said yes and she asked me to knit her a sweater - she wanted me to bring some pattern books so she could choose one. I told her I didn't have time to knit the sweater as I'm working on projects for my family. She said but I'm you're best friend (I don't even know her except to say hello). I told her If I had time to knit a sweater it would cost around $150.00 for the yarn & my time. She said you must have lots of yarn you can use and I'm not paying you for knitting me a sweater - since we're friends you should do it for free!!


Tell her you are on the "bartering plan" and that you will knit her one sweater if she cleans your entire house (inc. doing the windows) every week for an entire year and that would even up things!!!! Friends!!!


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## Karena (Jul 3, 2011)

I agree. It seems this topic has touched a whole bunch of knitters today. How odd we live in a world where complaints are so freely thrown around. How many compliments have we gotten lately, over anything. A little reflexive "thank you" might be too short. How about, thank you for taking the time, your conern, kindness . . . A little description is remembered. Yep, I am guilty too. Now I have to go practice that.


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## CarolBest (Sep 14, 2011)

Christi said:


> Do you all think it is bad if I volunteer my time to make stuff for my infant classroom at the daycare I work for such as washcloths and soft pillows for the kids to play on in the little cubbie nook I have in my classroom? My boss said he would pay for the yarn I buy plus the polyfiberfill. I didn't think it was bad.....I kind of like doing it as I am also able to work on it during working hours.


What you want to do is totally different from what someone demands of you. What you want to do is called a mitzvah; what they want is called hutzpah.


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## nancyk (Aug 2, 2011)

We have friends we exchange Christmas gifts with and have for decades. Through the years, the craft interests have changed, but they always included some form of stitching from cross-stitch to embroidery to knitting and crochet.
When we started the exchange. the deal was the gift had to be homemade. Now I have a house full of beautiful things I can hardly stand to use and will never get rid of.
But you know all the presents are from the heart and not a last minute grab from a store shelf because..well...you gotta get something.


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## DorothyLWM (May 8, 2011)

Karena said:


> Good answer, these people scatter like sheep when you suggest they take it upon themselves to create. They are not just nervy, but ignorant of what it takes.
> Don't let an opportunity go by to educate these people and become aware that you respect yourself and your time, talent, and money. I think some peple believe we spin the yarn. Suggest a nice shop where they can purchase, "say let's look at $10-20 a skein, 4 or 5 skeins might do it. Want some help?"
> You are left in the dust.


Exactly. If we don't respect ourselves too much to put up with that kind of rudeness, we can't be surprised when they give it.

Yes, the sister in law should have been told what a nasty disgusting person she is, and not worth your time, even to talk to her. I told my nasty s-i-l several years ago that we were "Done with the Christmas exchange"-should have done it years sooner, esp. as I haven't seen her since, and I'm beyond Glad. There are so many lovely people to spend time with.

Life is too short, & there are too many good things to do, why poison your soul by letting those people walk all over you and waste part of the time you've been given? Put them in their place, and walk away, grinning. It feels Great!

I've been exploited a few times in the past, by people I thought were friends, but I've since grown up, so, No More.


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## anneevamod (Apr 16, 2011)

Haven't really 'thought' about this one..but....I donated A LOT of money to the YWCA women's shelter and recieved so many thank you's and invitatiions to attend every function they have. I also knitted about 40 very adorable little bears to give to the children of the mother's who came into the shelter....I have NEVER heard or recieved a thank you. I guess they would rather have $$$$$ How sad.


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## RYS (Jul 5, 2011)

Sometimes when you ask for their measurements they become a little less eager.


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## RYS (Jul 5, 2011)

anneevamod said:


> Haven't really 'thought' about this one..but....I donated A LOT of money to the YWCA women's shelter and recieved so many thank you's and invitatiions to attend every function they have. I also knitted about 40 very adorable little bears to give to the children of the mother's who came into the shelter....I have NEVER heard or recieved a thank you. I guess they would rather have $$$$$ How sad.


I understand your frustration there and your logic. But I've got to speak for the other side of that, too. In truth the $$$$$ is a flexible gift to them and they can make it go pretty far. It's not that they (or organizations like them) don't appreciate the work and love and care that went into the bears but the fundraising department has pros to respond and the departments that benefit from your beautiful bears are not so versed or staffed to do so.

I also wonder about the wisdom of sending me so many free address labels and monogrammed notepads when I donate cash to someone, but there's a whole field of logic behind it. And you can always contact them and ask not to be on their mailing lists and you will still remember them on your own time for donations.

Finally... and then end of sermon, i promise... would I be totally off in saying that you also got some pleasure from making all those fabulous bears? I think you did. C'mon... sure... yeah, I thought so. You're a generous person and there's something grand about the joy in the giving, isn't there?


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## CarolBest (Sep 14, 2011)

Bekaknits said:


> how about the nerve of my Brother who through a project at me and said it will give me something to do.
> 
> i was not employed at the time, but my husband and i ran a roofing business. i had three children under 8, a house to keep, and dinner on the table every night.
> 
> ...


Did you do it?
:shock:


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## julietremain (Jul 8, 2011)

in the same vein as out discussion here....i recently ran into a woman i did not know and had never seen before at a yarn shop who DEMANDED that i make her a copy of my pattern AND frog my project and sell her the yarn i was using!!I was so astonished that i laughed out loud..laughed so hard i started coughing....i'm not sure what possessed me but i couldn't stop....i thought i had experienced about everything in this life...apparently not...i wonder what is coming next....
julie


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## SopranoKnits&Crochets (Apr 19, 2011)

Cindy M said:


> Just yesterday, my boss approached me and expects me to make 30 potholders for a Christmas event coming up in three weeks. She'll buy the yarn but no compensation for my time. It would put all my stuff for Christmas on hold. She has no appreciation for how much time something like that would take. Talk about nerve! I'm just going to have to say no.


Cindy - I think you should do it - during work time. Hey, why not even ask for comp time to stay home and do it. It's certainly as much work to do that as it is to go to work, isn't it?


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## CarolBest (Sep 14, 2011)

I always say "No, but I'll teach you how to do it." They usually say "I don't have time." I say "Oh well."

It took me YEARS to come up with that answer and I never change it. :hunf:


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## Sue B. (Aug 18, 2011)

I spent months making my sister a candlewicked bedspread for her wedding (a type of embroidery, for those not familiar). She used it for a few months and I never saw it again. I also crocheted an adorable train sweater for her son. We had a joint garage sale and there was the sweater! She had another child who could have worn it! I fished it out of the box when she wasn't looking, used it for my kids, and keep it in an emergency for chilly toddler guests. I'm guessing the bedspread got them a fraction of what it was worth at their first garage sale as a married couple.


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## AJP (Sep 12, 2011)

How very painfil! My heart goes out to you. Here's a great big hug!!!



jmai5421 said:


> Missunoriginalknitwit said:
> 
> 
> > I agree and empathise. I'll never forget my sister-in-law one Christmas, years ago, when I was first married and we had not much cash. I knitted my young nephew a lovely blue tank top with a picture of a red train on it and gave it to him as part of his Christmas present. A few days later she was having 'words' with me (we never truly shared similar views) and out came this, "..... at least I paid REAL money for my presents!!!". Like the effort was nothing and the wool was free - I was gutted as I really thought my nephew would love the top but I never saw him wear it
> ...


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## Debbie J (Feb 9, 2011)

Some people have no idea how much love and thought goes into an handmade gift. I just don't understand how some can be so rude! It is so senseless to me.

I did make some name doilies one time, and got paid for them. I did them while I was recovering from surgery. There were 4 in the same name. Carpenter. I charged $35 for the first 5 letters and $6 for each letter over the 5. I made a couple of others for money, too. But I don't want to do that for a living! It isn't hard, but it does take time and effort. And I hate finding mistakes in my work. I rip it out and start over. Especially if I am getting paid for it.


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## mysterywriter (Sep 27, 2011)

I think this sort of thing must happen in all kinds of creative endeavors. I'm a writer and often speak at conferences. I can honestly say every time a wannabe writer will come up to me and ask if I would critique her manuscript, which can take days, or introduce her to my editor. Non-creatives simply have no idea of the effort, time, or etiquette involved.


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## anneevamod (Apr 16, 2011)

RYS said:


> anneevamod said:
> 
> 
> > Haven't really 'thought' about this one..but....I donated A LOT of money to the YWCA women's shelter and recieved so many thank you's and invitatiions to attend every function they have. I also knitted about 40 very adorable little bears to give to the children of the mother's who came into the shelter....I have NEVER heard or recieved a thank you. I guess they would rather have $$$$$ How sad.
> ...


HAHA...I aabsolutly LOVED making them and you are correct in your response. I hold them no grudge. They do fabulous things. I just realized today after reaading all of these that I had never been thanked. But, I did it from my heart and just 'knowing' there is some child out there with one of the 'bears' is heartwarming.


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## anneevamod (Apr 16, 2011)

mysterywriter said:


> I think this sort of thing must happen in all kinds of creative endeavors. I'm a writer and often speak at conferences. I can honestly say every time a wannabe writer will come up to me and ask if I would critique her manuscript, which can take days, or introduce her to my editor. Non-creatives simply have no idea of the effort, time, or etiquette involved.


That is so funny. My daughter is a Producer for a very famous TV program and she is always getting people asking her to look at manuscripts. Makes her NUTS


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## AJP (Sep 12, 2011)

Thanjk you for sharing this story. It is powerful! I think I will use it to help my own children and grandchildren.



stubbynose said:


> Missunoriginalknitwit said:
> 
> 
> > Thanks Shelby. I wanted to break friends with her on many occasions but that would have meant upsetting my mum and brother and their two children... She is older and more 'mellow' now thank goodness but it just shows, we never forget these things[/quote
> ...


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## Donnabellah (Jul 12, 2011)

Way to go, pugmom5. Lots of men in the workforce are always looking for ways to put down their women co-workers! The guy was a creep and I don't care if he was "over you" or under you in job position, he is still a creep. I also laughed and loved the way you dealt with it.


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## mysterywriter (Sep 27, 2011)

I can identify with the "Nuts". Maybe this all goes along with our current "instant gratification" society. Nobody wants to put in the time to learn and accomplish for themselves.


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## Pamk (Jul 10, 2011)

Volunteering is a totally different subject....doing something good for others from the heart. Many of us here have/or will do that. But to ask as if we can pound out an item in minutes...is just plain rude. My Mother in law, who was the recipient of a counted cross stitch sampler said "why would you go to so much trouble?"....I had no words. The truth was I had been laid up for over 9 months (which meant no work) with a back injury. I didn't knit then and everyone got samplers....tons of work. Most, thankfully, were appreciated. The ones that weren't, I wanted to take right back. I'll never understand people. BUT...you wonderful knitters/crocheters...I love you all.


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## Muddyann (Jan 29, 2011)

wow I need to remember this.


AJP said:


> Thanjk you for sharing this story. It is powerful! I think I will use it to help my own children and grandchildren.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


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## lorraine magee (Jan 20, 2011)

hello i can relate. i used to make cakes before my hands got so bad i couldn't squeeze th icing tubes. my brother in law wanted a cake for a birthday party. when i told him it would be 35.00, he told me it was for family. so i told him when i went to shop rite i told them i was buying the food for my family they still made me pay.that was the end for me as i had made a lot of free cakes. as far as knitted things they would rather have a gift card. so i stopped the gifts. that way there was no feed back happy knitting


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## DorothyLWM (May 8, 2011)

CarolBest said:


> Christi said:
> 
> 
> > Do you all think it is bad if I volunteer my time to make stuff for my infant classroom at the daycare I work for such as washcloths and soft pillows for the kids to play on in the little cubbie nook I have in my classroom? My boss said he would pay for the yarn I buy plus the polyfiberfill. I didn't think it was bad.....I kind of like doing it as I am also able to work on it during working hours.
> ...


Good One!


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## DorothyLWM (May 8, 2011)

anneevamod said:


> Haven't really 'thought' about this one..but....I donated A LOT of money to the YWCA women's shelter and recieved so many thank you's and invitatiions to attend every function they have. I also knitted about 40 very adorable little bears to give to the children of the mother's who came into the shelter....I have NEVER heard or recieved a thank you. I guess they would rather have $$$$$ How sad.


I'm sure the children preferred the little bears, but didn't have the way and means to tell you that. You've given those precious children SO much, you have to know how they felt to get those little bears. Bless your heart. 
The "adults" there should be ashamed they didn't relay the children's reactions to you. You can bet there were some sweet ones.


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## DorothyLWM (May 8, 2011)

julietremain said:


> in the same vein as out discussion here....i recently ran into a woman i did not know and had never seen before at a yarn shop who DEMANDED that i make her a copy of my pattern AND frog my project and sell her the yarn i was using!!I was so astonished that i laughed out loud..laughed so hard i started coughing....i'm not sure what possessed me but i couldn't stop....i thought i had experienced about everything in this life...apparently not...i wonder what is coming next....
> julie


I laughed out loud when I read about her behavior. If I had been with you, there would have been two of us laughing in front of her. She's lucky you were laughing. I think that woman is out of her mind! That's what happens when no one has ever set them straight. They get worse.

Next, I suppose she'll have to carry a gun to carry out her demands by force--unless you taught her something. Let's Hope.


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## DorothyLWM (May 8, 2011)

lorraine magee said:


> hello i can relate. i used to make cakes before my hands got so bad i couldn't squeeze th icing tubes. my brother in law wanted a cake for a birthday party. when i told him it would be 35.00, he told me it was for family. so i told him when i went to shop rite i told them i was buying the food for my family they still made me pay.that was the end for me as i had made a lot of free cakes. as far as knitted things they would rather have a gift card. so i stopped the gifts. that way there was no feed back happy knitting


I used to make cakes for people, too. I had a neighbor ask for a special birthday cake. It wasn't a large one, and this was a number of years ago, so I told her the price was $10. She said: "Well, I can go to the store and buy a mix for $1.89!" I told her: "Then do that." End of conversation.


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## flginny (Feb 6, 2011)

Last Christmas I gave one of my best friends a beautiful lace stole in expensive yarn. She knew that I had done a number of scarves (all garter stitch in "fun" yarn) for the church bazaar. When her daughter admired the stole, I heard her tell her that I could do one in a couple of hours.

She's still one of by best friends, but I won't be knitting anything else for her.

Virginia


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## AJP (Sep 12, 2011)

I agree! I know I am grateful for those in my life that appreciate the gifts I make. I am also grateful for those who have let me know that they wouldn't really use an item I thought they would. It saves me the heartache of making it only to never see it used. I love to knit and I'll always find something to knit and the good Lord has blessed me with special people who love what I knit. I hope you all will find those who do appreciate your love and talent.



Heartigan said:


> In reading and skimming this thread, I am amazed at how the hurtful things said are so remembered for such long periods of time. The old saying 'sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never harm me' is just so false. We tender-hearted crafters and artisans who knit,crochet, craft, sew, quilt and paint, do so first with our hearts and then with our hands. Even though there is selfish inconsideration in this world, I prefer to continue all my creative outlets, because in giving, I am receiving and that is enough for me. My talent (aka patience) is a gift and I'm not gonna hide this gift under a basket. I choose to let this light of mine shine. And by the way, I have a well-stocked drawer of heart bandaids, for when there is little appreciation or consideration. I am glad to share!


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## AJP (Sep 12, 2011)

That is so special



CarolBest said:


> flip side: Years ago when I was going through a bad time I knitted shawls for my sisters for Christmas. I felt so ashamed that I couldn't afford real presents. Several years latter my sister told me that she would take that shawl out and show it to her up-scale friends and tell them that her sister made it for her.
> 
> It never occured to me that the things I made out of string were valued.


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## zbangel (Jun 28, 2011)

Christi said:


> Do you all think it is bad if I volunteer my time to make stuff for my infant classroom at the daycare I work for such as washcloths and soft pillows for the kids to play on in the little cubbie nook I have in my classroom? My boss said he would pay for the yarn I buy plus the polyfiberfill. I didn't think it was bad.....I kind of like doing it as I am also able to work on it during working hours.


The only way this is OK is if you ONLY knit on the clock. It is illegal in most states for your employer to ask you to take work home without compensation assuming you are on hourly pay. If he doesn't want to pay you for your time as well as supply the materials, then you should not do it. Daycare workers are already not valued for all the effort it takes to do what you do, from how it is seen socially to how it is compensated. Do yourself and all your co-workers a favor and insist on being seen and valued.


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## theyarnlady (Feb 25, 2011)

some people just don't get it. home made is better


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## Heartigan (Aug 29, 2011)

But if the receiver doesn't appreciate it or believe as Ido that homemade is better... how is it their fault. Sometimes I think we give what we WANT to receive. I think if you love someone enough to give them gifts, then you should know what makes them happy and appreciative. Once a gift is given, it has silver wings that you can't see. It is set free to fly. Where it lands and who becames happy with it, is not the givers concern. Perhaps it gets rehomed, perhaps donated, perhaps garage saled, someone will be glad they have it. I would rather give and perhaps be disappointed than never to give at all.


theyarnlady said:


> some people just don't get it. home made is better


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## Donnabellah (Jul 12, 2011)

I think when people ask you to make something (in your spare time) you should respond by asking what they are willing to give you in their spare time. Like if I was asked to make someone socks and they offered to pay for the yarn, I would counter offer for them to do something for me at my house, clean it, cook a meal, cut the grass, paint a room, (could go on and on) and I would be willing to pay for their gasoline to get there! That puts the whole situation in their court, so to speak, and then they get a real close up feeling for what THEY have asked of you!


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## beverlyH (Oct 26, 2011)

I think it is a very nice gesture. As long as your boss knows
you are volunteering your time and he or she appreciates
your gifts to the classroom. If your boss is willing to compensate for the expense of your material used that is
even better appreciation. I would not ask for any compensation if I am volunteering but accept if the boss is
willing to help you out and not make you feel obligated to
the schoolfor completion.


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## beverlyH (Oct 26, 2011)

I think it is a very nice gesture. As long as your boss knows
you are volunteering your time and he or she appreciates
your gifts to the classroom. If your boss is willing to compensate for the expense of your material used that is
even better appreciation. I would not ask for any compensation if I am volunteering but accept if the boss is
willing to help you out and not make you feel obligated to
the schoolfor completion.


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## beverlyH (Oct 26, 2011)

Some people including family members do not have an
appreciation for our "labor of love" skill for our type of craft. They think this is a hobby and we should give away our talent for free when they make their request for our skill.


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## beverlyH (Oct 26, 2011)

Good answer Moe. I agree I knit for pleasure and not
to make a business. It gives me pleasure just to see the
look on the receiver's face who didn't expect me to make
something for them personally without them asking.


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## patocenizo (Jun 24, 2011)

Now that is a very nice boss! I have had alot of laughs with all of this, it just shows solidarity among us knitters. I'm off to give my needles and hands some exercise!


joeysomma said:


> There is so much talk about bosses and co-workers taking advantage of your crafting talents. I have to tell you about my boss. When he became a grandpa for the first time, I knitted an afghan for his grandson. He also knew I gave many items to charity. One day I found two huge boxes of yarn on my desk. He saw them at an auction and purchsed them for me. I shared some with a co-worker who wanted to make an afghan for an expected grandchild. Almost all of the rest has been made into lapghans for a local nursing home.


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## DebraPryor (Oct 2, 2011)

joeysomma said:


> There is so much talk about bosses and co-workers taking advantage of your crafting talents. I have to tell you about my boss. When he became a grandpa for the first time, I knitted an afghan for his grandson. He also knew I gave many items to charity. One day I found two huge boxes of yarn on my desk. He saw them at an auction and purchsed them for me. I shared some with a co-worker who wanted to make an afghan for an expected grandchild. Almost all of the rest has been made into lapghans for a local nursing home.


He may not have paid you in hard cash, but this is a lovely way to say thank you, and still support what YOU want to do.

Thank you for sharing.


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## nhauf001 (Jan 18, 2011)

Cindy M said:


> Just yesterday, my boss approached me and expects me to make 30 potholders for a Christmas event coming up in three weeks. She'll buy the yarn but no compensation for my time. It would put all my stuff for Christmas on hold. She has no appreciation for how much time something like that would take. Talk about nerve! I'm just going to have to say no.


You are much kinder than I would be. I would have said no on the spot and probably laughed at her too boot!


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## Sewbizgirl (May 11, 2011)

Cindy M said:


> Just yesterday, my boss approached me and expects me to make 30 potholders for a Christmas event coming up in three weeks. She'll buy the yarn but no compensation for my time. It would put all my stuff for Christmas on hold. She has no appreciation for how much time something like that would take. Talk about nerve! I'm just going to have to say no.


I should HOPE so!!! :roll: :roll: :roll:


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## DebraPryor (Oct 2, 2011)

joeysomma said:


> The afghan for my boss's grandson was a gift.


Yes I realised that, I was just appreciating his way of saying thankyou for the gift you gave


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## cevers (Jul 8, 2011)

Seeing me knitting in the dining room of the hospital where I worked, a female radiologist (MD) asked me what I was kniting. I said it was a sweater and that I hadn't gotten to the interesting part, a fair isle pattern at the top. She replied deadpan, "Oh, I didn't know there was anything interesting about knitting."


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## QHMom (Jun 6, 2011)

after losing my husband to a farming accident and left w/ 2 young children I decided to make christmas into what it should and be and hand-make all my gifts (this was 1987 and still is my view)
After giving gift baskets of all homemade bath products from my herb garden a guest suggested I sell my products.
My mother-in-law replied, in front of all, Yes, then you would have money to buy us REAL gifts!
I've NEVER made her another thing!


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## anntics (Jun 4, 2011)

Christi said:


> Do you all think it is bad if I volunteer my time to make stuff for my infant classroom at the daycare I work for such as washcloths and soft pillows for the kids to play on in the little cubbie nook I have in my classroom? My boss said he would pay for the yarn I buy plus the polyfiberfill. I didn't think it was bad.....I kind of like doing it as I am also able to work on it during working hours.


Hi Christi, I think the difference is that you are happy to do it and able to work on it during working hours. That is the reply I was going to make to Cindy. She should tell the boss each one takes x amount of time therefore she will need to be released from her regular duties for x hours in order to complete them in time for the event.


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## Missunoriginalknitwit (Oct 28, 2011)

Thanks to all who have added their kind thoughts to my sister-in-law's spite. I feel for the other people who have had similar experiences and especially the family rejections. They just don't know what they're missing. I also love the comment about 'out of the mouth comes the heart's abundance'. I shall remember that. 
Kind regards to everyone on the 'liberty taker' blog run.
J xx


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## leannab (Sep 7, 2011)

QHMom said:


> after losing my husband to a farming accident and left w/ 2 young children I decided to make christmas into what it should and be and hand-make all my gifts (this was 1987 and still is my view)
> After giving gift baskets of all homemade bath products from my herb garden a guest suggested I sell my products.
> My mother-in-law replied, in front of all, Yes, then you would have money to buy us REAL gifts!
> I've NEVER made her another thing!


Similar experience with my SIL (Haven't seen her or my brother for years now) I used to make my niece and nephew, nice gifts from dresses to little wooden trucks, put them in a basket with other goodies and give to them for Christmas.

SIL made some rude remark about 'home made presents' not being REAL presents. Of course this was from a person who couldn't do anything with her hands.
I would LOOOOOVE someone to home craft something for me and treasure it. Some people have no class. might sound snobby but I'm sure they don't think about what just came out of their mouths.
Like you, needless to say I never made them another thing!
Leanna x


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## fayby (Apr 4, 2011)

henhouse2011 said:


> If they are just ignorant I try to educate them nicely. If they expect it free I ask how much time they are prepared to trade me.


 Hi, a "good friend" asked me to alter some clothes for her.I said yes but I was going to attack a mountain of ironing, she said I will do that O K. Away we went,I would sew while she would iron. When she stopped, I stopped. At the end of the day the comment was "you didn't get much done". Never a word was said, I just looked at my pile of ironing. Never again did she ask for any favours. fayby


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## cevers (Jul 8, 2011)

My DD raises small Shelties. Her most recent litter included a very small puppy who was not being feed by his mother. DD has been feeding him, and she needs to keep him with her all the time. A few days ago she asked me to make "socks or something to keep him warm" inside her jacket or fanny pack. I loved her asking me to contribute to his health. I know we all love to knit for our family members who need and appreciate what we do. I knit only for people I love and for charity.


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## Heartigan (Aug 29, 2011)

Yay for DD and knowing the need for something from the heart and hands to nourish something from the hands of God! Bless puppies, grand mommies, and mommies both human and canine.


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## ert (May 9, 2011)

Cindy M said:


> Just yesterday, my boss approached me and expects me to make 30 potholders for a Christmas event coming up in three weeks. She'll buy the yarn but no compensation for my time. It would put all my stuff for Christmas on hold. She has no appreciation for how much time something like that would take. Talk about nerve! I'm just going to have to say no.


You should ask her if you could do that project on her time, since you have so many projects at home that need to be finished.


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## Lassie (Jan 26, 2011)

Not at all! It's very generous of you. And if you enjoy it, why not? It's your time to do with as you please, and if this gives you pleasure, go for it.

I think a lot of the hurt feelings around this issue have to do with how the recipient feels about gift giving in general, and maybe a bit about the giver. Like all of you, people I've made gifts for have made ignorant and/or hurtful remarks. I finally realized that it says more about them than about you. My SIL, for instance, who I get along with just fine for the most part, clearly resented and was angered by my giving her or her kids knitted or otherwise hand made things as gifts. She saw it as a slight, a way to short change her kids and get off cheap. Without getting too Freudian here, a lot of that goes to the fact that MIL is pathologically cheap and anything that smacks of thrift is something she really resents. And once I realized that, I decided to just go to Target and get whatever would make them happy. If a gift is does not give the recipient pleasure, if it creates hard feelings, why do it? I don't mean it as a criticism of anyone who's feeling slighted. Just that there are plenty of people who appreciate and love the things you make and understand what goes into it, so why not shower them with the goodies and get the others things you know they will appreciate?


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## CathyAnn (May 14, 2011)

AJP said:


> I agree! I know I am grateful for those in my life that appreciate the gifts I make. I am also grateful for those who have let me know that they wouldn't really use an item I thought they would. It saves me the heartache of making it only to never see it used. I love to knit and I'll always find something to knit and the good Lord has blessed me with special people who love what I knit. I hope you all will find those who do appreciate your love and talent.


I am grateful for my family in the same way. I grew up with a mother who always cherished anything my sister or I made for her. She had grown up on a farm where money was tight, and was taught the value of gifts that were "Homemade". To this day (she's 92), she still cherishes what I make for her. I asked my sister if she would like me to make her an afghan, (she never asks for anything), and she said no, but she wants a certain one I had made for my mother a few years ago when the time comes. I really appreciate her being up front with me. I said, "Sure!" After listening to all of you, I count my lucky stars!

PS: My MIL also appreciates all that I've made for her over the years. She is an artist, used to knit and understands the time, expense and effort that goes into a hand crafted gift. Yes, I am truly blessed!

Another point, I haven't had to do this, but if anyone asked me to knit a sweater for them, I would tell them to look up the cost of the hand knit sweaters on the Dale of Norway website. I don't think the subject would come up again.

Just this morning, was was wearing one of my cardigan sweaters, and a true gentleman friend from India admired it, and asked me how long it took to knit -- a month? two months? He sure has a good idea on how long something like that takes!


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## Muddyann (Jan 29, 2011)

I don't think I would want to buy her anything either.


QHMom said:


> after losing my husband to a farming accident and left w/ 2 young children I decided to make christmas into what it should and be and hand-make all my gifts (this was 1987 and still is my view)
> After giving gift baskets of all homemade bath products from my herb garden a guest suggested I sell my products.
> My mother-in-law replied, in front of all, Yes, then you would have money to buy us REAL gifts!
> I've NEVER made her another thing!


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## leannab (Sep 7, 2011)

fayby said:


> henhouse2011 said:
> 
> 
> > If they are just ignorant I try to educate them nicely. If they expect it free I ask how much time they are prepared to trade me.
> ...


I made a sweet little smocked dress for my DIL (Baby due in December).

Over the years I have become friendly with the manager of the Pokie (slot machine) venue at our local Hotel. (Most Hotels or pubs in South Australia are allowed to have up to 40 Poker Machine or slot machines)
She asked me to bring the dress over to show her which I duly did. 'Oh I would love one of them for my grand daughter due shortly.' Softie me said that I had enough fabric for another one. She offered me a large piece of blue fabric and silly me said, 'ok we'll do an exchange'.

Now smocked dresses take a bit of time but I finished it within a week, put it on a hanger and wrapped in cellophane and presented it. She said she would look out the blue fabric. A few days later she said her mother was staying and she couldn't get into the room.

We went on holiday for a week and I've never heard another thing since, that was over 3 months ago. Call me weak but I don't know how to broach the subject. I think she forgot deliberately. Grrrrrrr!
Leanna x


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## leannab (Sep 7, 2011)

Lassie said:


> Not at all! It's very generous of you. And if you enjoy it, why not? It's your time to do with as you please, and if this gives you pleasure, go for it.
> 
> I think a lot of the hurt feelings around this issue have to do with how the recipient feels about gift giving in general, and maybe a bit about the giver. Like all of you, people I've made gifts for have made ignorant and/or hurtful remarks. I finally realized that it says more about them than about you. My SIL, for instance, who I get along with just fine for the most part, clearly resented and was angered by my giving her or her kids knitted or otherwise hand made things as gifts. She saw it as a slight, a way to short change her kids and get off cheap. Without getting too Freudian here, a lot of that goes to the fact that MIL is pathologically cheap and anything that smacks of thrift is something she really resents. And once I realized that, I decided to just go to Target and get whatever would make them happy. If a gift is does not give the recipient pleasure, if it creates hard feelings, why do it? I don't mean it as a criticism of anyone who's feeling slighted. Just that there are plenty of people who appreciate and love the things you make and understand what goes into it, so why not shower them with the goodies and get the others things you know they will appreciate?


Great comment!
Leanna x


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## Muddyann (Jan 29, 2011)

Oh, I wish I knew how to do that. There was a lady in our Church when we lived in Alaska who was going to teach me, then her daughter died and she had to spend a lot of time in the lower 48 and then when the dust settled, we were moving to Washington. So you have my awe. I think there are a lot of people who forget on purpose. I used to think they would get theres, then I realized, not necessarily, there are takers and there are givers and unfortunately, they meet and get took.


leannab said:


> fayby said:
> 
> 
> > henhouse2011 said:
> ...


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## boring knit (May 9, 2011)

DorothyLWM said:


> julietremain said:
> 
> 
> > in the same vein as out discussion here....i recently ran into a woman i did not know and had never seen before at a yarn shop who DEMANDED that i make her a copy of my pattern AND frog my project and sell her the yarn i was using!!I was so astonished that i laughed out loud..laughed so hard i started coughing....i'm not sure what possessed me but i couldn't stop....i thought i had experienced about everything in this life...apparently not...i wonder what is coming next....
> ...


I so enjoyed both of your comments wish I had thought of hysterics myself. I'll try to remember that in future.


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## pats place (Jun 24, 2011)

Missunoriginalknitwit said:


> People never cease to astound me with their selfishness :-00


I'll second and third that!!! Amen, sister.


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## gwynmack (Jan 24, 2011)

I worked in a very large corporation and enjoyed showing off my handiwork (i.e. latest sweater). The comments I got were that I probably whipped it up the previous night. Was it jealousy or stupidity on the comment giver's part?

People should sometimes think about what they are saying before opening mouth and inserting foot.

I knitted a friend a nice scarf for Christmas. Upon receipt, she asked for another one which I made. Thank goodness the yarn was inexpensive but good quality. Note, we are no longer friends.


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## beverlyH (Oct 26, 2011)

To Grandma val,
No you did not wast your valuable time. Think of it as doing
it out of love for your family and a wonderful gift from you. I have knitted outfits and crosstitch blankets for newborns in the family and also for every newborn I have made bibs with each personalize saying and would you believe
it not one of the parents would display it on their child. The saying for each would be "it was too nice to be worn by the newborn they will save it for them". I just accept that remark as they are going to treasure my gift and it was not a waste of my time but it was a labor of love.


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## ert (May 9, 2011)

glacy1 said:


> Cindy M said:
> 
> 
> > Just yesterday, my boss approached me and expects me to make 30 potholders for a Christmas event coming up in three weeks. She'll buy the yarn but no compensation for my time. It would put all my stuff for Christmas on hold. She has no appreciation for how much time something like that would take. Talk about nerve! I'm just going to have to say no.
> ...


Whatever will she do if asked to make another afghan? :mrgreen:


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## Karena (Jul 3, 2011)

Clever reply.


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## Karena (Jul 3, 2011)

Well, of course they need money, who doesn't, but should be grateful for special homemade gifts as well. I don't think bears, dolls, and such are as popular as they once were. Everyone wants some media device which is expensive and goes out of style faster than you can blink. We need a manditory course on politeness. I think some come from a postition of insecurity, get a little authority and it becomes an ego trip. 
Pick you recepients carefully. 
I too get into situations where people value their time, highly I might add, everything is such stres, and figure I am always stress free. Maybe I am because I plan? Different culture--I'll stay old fashioned, call me stuffy, I try not to impose, manners count, thank you.


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## westpond (Aug 2, 2011)

It is one thing if it is "your" idea to do the crafting, whatever it may be. Right now I am making two twin size quilts for two young boys. Their parents are business owners in our town and have been very generous to many people. I have been to functions at their residence and I "want" to do this for them. It will be something their money cannot buy. I make many sweaters for friends who are becoming grandparents, they don't knit. It is all very much appreciated. I would say no if I was asked to make something, it would become a "chore" then. Joyce


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## debdeb2 (Oct 30, 2011)




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## debdeb2 (Oct 30, 2011)

well if he pays for the yarn and you can do it at work i say "BONUS"! he is in effect paying you for your time while you are doing this then. And you get to show the little ones the art of crafting! I would LOVE to be able to knit or crochet at my job!


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## QHMom (Jun 6, 2011)

You are so RIGHT! Nobody thought about the year I tened that garden to get the herbs to make all the items!


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## Orilliaknitter (Jun 7, 2011)

Christi said:


> Do you all think it is bad if I volunteer my time to make stuff for my infant classroom at the daycare I work for such as washcloths and soft pillows for the kids to play on in the little cubbie nook I have in my classroom? My boss said he would pay for the yarn I buy plus the polyfiberfill. I didn't think it was bad.....I kind of like doing it as I am also able to work on it during working hours.


Not at all. You have the option. It is your decision and you feel no untoward pressure in the project proposal. It is wonderful because you know the children will enjoy the pillows and such. The people mentioned in the other postings are probably going to be the type to be unappreciative of the finished product they have demanded. They are the kind of people who need a real comeuppance but are not likely to recognize it when they get it. I really hope you enjoy your pillows and washcloths, they will be appreciated at your daycare, I'm sure.


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## Orilliaknitter (Jun 7, 2011)

darowil said:


> Cindy M said:
> 
> 
> > Just yesterday, my boss approached me and expects me to make 30 potholders for a Christmas event coming up in three weeks. She'll buy the yarn but no compensation for my time. It would put all my stuff for Christmas on hold. She has no appreciation for how much time something like that would take. Talk about nerve! I'm just going to have to say no.
> ...


Good answer!!!!! Imagine being able to knit at work and be paid your regular pay! Never happen, will it.


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## knittingbee (Jan 18, 2011)

It is hard to believe she was serious but I am sure she was/ I made my daughter and grand daughter cute hats out of eyelash yarn about 4 years ago. My son-in-law thought they were neat and told me I should knit them to sell on e-bay! He was serious, too. I knit for loved ones because I love them and enjoy knitting but I have a life. He had no clue!


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## Karena (Jul 3, 2011)

Maybe you should work up a proposal, very businesslike, showing the time it takes to make one, let the boss decide if he wants to pay you for the time. Get an estimate, figure your hourly rate, charge for it. Let the boss decide, he will look like the Scrooge if he doesn't go for it. 
He could go out and buy something nice, really nervy. Assumes you have nothing going on other than your work.


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## sbubbles84 (Jun 8, 2011)

It's just heartbreaking reading all the comments! What we craft is truly a gift of the heart!! How dare they treat that like it was nothing! The ingratitude is beyond appalling!!

I have a comment about gratitude and how lovely it is to be on the receiving end. Earlier this summer I crocheted some little booties to go with the outfits we gave to my husband's niece for her baby shower. Yesterday I went to another baby shower in my husband's family. Our little great-niece, just 6 weeks old, was wearing a pair of the little ballet slipper booties I had crocheted for her. She looked so darling in them! Every time anyone mentioned them my niece made sure the speaker knew I had made them, and how much she loved having them for her precious little daughter to wear. Brought tears of joy to my eyes! You can bet that I will make ANYTHING I can for that niece!

This particular shower wasn't for that niece, but for her oldest brother and his wife expecting in February. His mother had made them a gorgeous baby quilt, and gave our nephew his baby things, including his baby quilt handmade by his grandmother, (or great-grandmother--I can't remember which!) It was so lovely to see those items treasured, and passed on to the next generation. That's the way it should be--and speaks well of that family's love for each other. I came away from that shower humbled by such love and caring.

I am so sorry that any of you were treated so badly! I love looking at the beautiful items you make and share with us. The pictures are a gift to my heart, and I thank all of you for inspiring me to work harder to improve and learn more with each project. If I can make something even half as beautiful as the projects you share--I will die a happy woman!
Shirley


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## Karena (Jul 3, 2011)

ps I get an indication that the "boss" may have a gender value issue, ie women's time isn't worth anything when she is off duty. If so, he isn't alone. Hmmmm.


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## SIPSIS (Oct 24, 2011)

My next door neighbor took the time to teach me how to knit when I was a mere 8 yrs old...I was the only girl in the neighborhood making her own doll's clothes! When I was in 7th & 8th grade, I was always included when my mother & older sister were invited to baby showers, cuz I always took hat, booties & sweater I had made. When I got to HS, the 1st basketball game I went to, someone stole the mittens I had just made myself (first time wearing them!) When I told my mother about my mittens, she said, "Well, take it as a compliment..Someone surely thought you did a great enuff job & are now wearing your Blessing! 

I used to take the pattern of baby sweaters and figure out exactly how many sts "made" the pattern, then put that pattern to fit "shells" that I made. Gave them to my sister & Mom, and they never saw anyone else wearing the same shell as their's...unless it was a baby! LOL

The first cardigan I made myself, when acryllics first came out (age 18 or 19) must've appealed to someone! It went by the way of the mittens...and, like the mittens, I did get a chance to wear it at least ONE time! Bless em! 

When I joined a new church, I was invited by the Ladies' Group to a Baby Shower for one of the ladies of the church.. I made a lavender & white Hairpin Lace afghan for a twin bed & wrapped it up for her...At the shower, all of a sudden I see the lady crying her heart out...I asked the woman who had taken me there what was wrong...She laughed and told the crying lady what I had said..The lady was crying cuz it was sooooo beautiful! Everyone else who had gone to the shower had taken store-bought gifts, and all said they wished that they had the know-how to make such things of beauty! That made me feel better, cuz at first I felt badly about not having a "proper" gift to take to the shower!

So, you see, not EVERYONE is so crass as some of the ones y'all have described! Amen? Amen!

As to a retort to those who don't have a "clue", you might tell them, "A little old lady taught me how to knit when I was 8 yrs old. At your age, I'm sure you would have no problem with learning how to!" (Not adding the "at your mentality", of course!) LOL


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## Stitchwizz (May 30, 2011)

PurpleV said:


> I always reply that I consider my work priceless, therefore I never sell it, just give it to people who appreciate it. PurpleV


That is my favorite reply. I will use it next time someone asks for the impossible.

Thanks for sharing,

Bev


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## glacy1 (Sep 30, 2011)

ert said:


> glacy1 said:
> 
> 
> > Cindy M said:
> ...


I'm sure she will have the excuse that she's too busy being a soccer mom! She is definitely a user of people.


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## Eleanor1 (Aug 16, 2011)

If you have the time and you choose to do it it's different. Personally I am flat out knitting for family etc. I am hoping that they all appreciate the presents I'm making for them. 
Being a pensioner my funds are low but my time is just as valuable to me as if I was working for a boss.


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## Country Bumpkins (Feb 18, 2011)

leannab said:


> fayby said:
> 
> 
> > henhouse2011 said:
> ...


That is so beautiful! Shame on her!


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## Country Bumpkins (Feb 18, 2011)

ert said:


> glacy1 said:
> 
> 
> > Cindy M said:
> ...


LOL Good one ert!


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## terrachroma (Sep 21, 2011)

Also another situation: I spend $$$ on my knitting/fiber without much concern. I was in my MD office the other evening and a mother could only afford one of 2 prescriptions for her about 8yo daughter, until her pay day 1-2 weeks away. (These were psy meds, I overheard her call to the Pharmacy) I thought about what I spend on yarn and how this child's 15.00 co-pay could really make a difference. I approched the mother on the phone, gave my debit card number to the Pharmacy and made the co-pay.
I'm not slapping myself on the back here but there are other ways to make sacrafices with our knitting time/yarn stash situation.
Oh and the weird thing is I received a check for 15.00 in the mail the next day.
As Artisans our hearts overflow and there are many ways to direct it to those in need. 
Sounds like a soapbox but I don't really know how else to express it.
Bye, Robin


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## knittingbee (Jan 18, 2011)

I totaly agree!


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## knittingbee (Jan 18, 2011)

I like the idea of telling someone that an year old girl an learn to knit so surly the one telling me to knit and sell with no idea of time and love involved not to say cost of material I intend to use that line the net time I encounter someone like that.


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## wilbo (Feb 16, 2011)

I would say that this is my hobby to give me the pleasure of making things for MY family. I am not in the business to mass produce pot holders or anything else. I HAVE a job.


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## Country Bumpkins (Feb 18, 2011)

I have always sewed all of my kids clothes. I husband and I have a wood working shop that we have sold items all over the USA. We had to work hard when my husband was laid off from his job. We worked inside our house making idems for stores while raising 3 kids. We worked sometimes from 7;00am to 10:00 pm. We made things for people for Christmas until it was Christmas Eve. I raised my kids without help. We made all the furniture in our home. Homemade made our living for years. All this to get to my story. I have a friend who everytime I see her has to mention that I have never worked. This always cuts to the bone. Because I have worked just not went to a 9-5 job. Are people jealous of us that make things. Someone makes everything even from the stories. She always has to say I wish I was retired like you. It hurts so bad because I do love her. Sorry yall got me worked up. LOL People are just rude!


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## knittingbee (Jan 18, 2011)

That is really a lot of nerve. I would not ever do anything for her again!.


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## Siouxiq (Aug 26, 2011)

Thankfully, my son grew up with my art projects, and married a lovelly woman who also appreciates what i do. Even my grqndchildren love my work, so I am pleased. When i sell in my local co--op gallwry, i put premium prices on my designs.


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## zbangel (Jun 28, 2011)

terrachroma said:


> Also another situation: I spend $$$ on my knitting/fiber without much concern. I was in my MD office the other evening and a mother could only afford one of 2 prescriptions for her about 8yo daughter, until her pay day 1-2 weeks away. (These were psy meds, I overheard her call to the Pharmacy) I thought about what I spend on yarn and how this child's 15.00 co-pay could really make a difference. I approched the mother on the phone, gave my debit card number to the Pharmacy and made the co-pay.
> I'm not slapping myself on the back here but there are other ways to make sacrafices with our knitting time/yarn stash situation.
> Oh and the weird thing is I received a check for 15.00 in the mail the next day.
> As Artisans our hearts overflow and there are many ways to direct it to those in need.
> ...


Thanks Robin. What you did is awesome and probably made a huge difference in the life of the woman and her daughter!


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## sam07671 (May 12, 2011)

terrachroma said:


> Also another situation: I spend $$$ on my knitting/fiber without much concern. I was in my MD office the other evening and a mother could only afford one of 2 prescriptions for her about 8yo daughter, until her pay day 1-2 weeks away. (These were psy meds, I overheard her call to the Pharmacy) I thought about what I spend on yarn and how this child's 15.00 co-pay could really make a difference. I approched the mother on the phone, gave my debit card number to the Pharmacy and made the co-pay.
> I'm not slapping myself on the back here but there are other ways to make sacrafices with our knitting time/yarn stash situation.
> Oh and the weird thing is I received a check for 15.00 in the mail the next day.
> As Artisans our hearts overflow and there are many ways to direct it to those in need.
> ...


You did a good deed. I would have done the same thing if the situation came up with me around. :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: {{{{{Huggs}}}}}


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## ukraftykid (Aug 8, 2011)

I do not think it is bad as you volunteered to give your time and you are allowed to do it at work. It is the people who think they are doing you a favour by letting you knit for them for free. I used to knit baby clothes for my friends at my weekly Day Centre for free as I love knitting and had a large stash of baby wool I would not have used otherwise. The crunch came when a new member said "I will have 4 of those in different colours for next month." I told her I would not be able to do them in the time and gave her a quote for the items. She was taken completely aback and declined the offer. I now do knitting for other members who are fully prepared to pay for the time and wool it takes to make them. My friends also said they wanted to pay or they would not let me do any more, needless to say they get them at a greatly reduced price.


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## Karena (Jul 3, 2011)

Bless you.


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## Judy M (Feb 17, 2011)

My sister worked in an adult care home and crocheted several lapghans. She saw the need and even adjusted the pattern for the patient -- in a wheelchair, needed something for her cold feet (she got a pocket at the bottom of hers). She also worked the night shift and it gave her something to do when they weren't cooking and caring for the patients. The patients had spending money but those were things they could use and they weren't available to buy.


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## ukraftykid (Aug 8, 2011)

She sounds like my kind of person. If you see a need and you can do something about it then you do. A little thought and kindness go a long way in this world.



Judy M said:


> My sister worked in an adult care home and crocheted several lapghans. She saw the need and even adjusted the pattern for the patient -- in a wheelchair, needed something for her cold feet (she got a pocket at the bottom of hers). She also worked the night shift and it gave her something to do when they weren't cooking and caring for the patients. The patients had spending money but those were things they could use and they weren't available to buy.


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## tpmcgoo2 (Mar 7, 2011)

I am so glad that my family for the most part understand how valuable my time is...even my granddaughter when requesting a special hat said she'd do work for it...she is 10 and loves everything grandma makes and gets loads of it too!!! I am glad that she is learning the value of what I make. I make and sell too so she has been exposed to me putting prices on items. Maybe that has helped but she is a sensitive thoughtful girl.


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## patocenizo (Jun 24, 2011)

After reading this from you it brought back some very painful memories I thought I had erased from my mind. When my daughter was expecting her first child and wanted to be as free from family as anyone I have ever known, I promptly started to knit a baby blanket and some other cute things that were for my first grandchild. Well, my husband and I went out of town but before we left, I sent a box of with all I had made for the new baby and when we got back from the trip there was a note of a returned box. My heart sank and sure enough my daughter and son-in-law had written a two page letter letting me know that I had had the gall to term them unfit to dress their own child and that they did not welcome those things I had sent them so they were returning something that they had never asked for. You can't imagine how my heart broke and all of this brings back those sad memories. We all have some of those stories to share. Well, I just gave those items to my son and his soon to be wife (they were already expecting!) and they were so grateful that I had my smile back. So now, would you believe that that first grandchild is a knitter herself! How is that for what goes around, comes around and she loves anything I knit for her especially since she goes to school in Spokane and it can get very cold there. There is a God!


sbubbles84 said:


> It's just heartbreaking reading all the comments! What we craft is truly a gift of the heart!! How dare they treat that like it was nothing! The ingratitude is beyond appalling!!
> 
> I have a comment about gratitude and how lovely it is to be on the receiving end. Earlier this summer I crocheted some little booties to go with the outfits we gave to my husband's niece for her baby shower. Yesterday I went to another baby shower in my husband's family. Our little great-niece, just 6 weeks old, was wearing a pair of the little ballet slipper booties I had crocheted for her. She looked so darling in them! Every time anyone mentioned them my niece made sure the speaker knew I had made them, and how much she loved having them for her precious little daughter to wear. Brought tears of joy to my eyes! You can bet that I will make ANYTHING I can for that niece!
> 
> ...


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## bevqual (May 9, 2011)

boring knit said:


> On the subject of people disrespecting the time and effort we all put into our lovely craftwork: I went to a club yesterday in the village and someone I'd never met or been introduced to said, when seeing the socks I knit. "You can knit me a couple of pairs, I need some for friends for Christmas presents. Unbelievable. I told her if I did it wouldn't be this Christmas as I knit for a lot of family members and had a long list to do. Also told her I'd seen similar hand knit socks for sale at craft sale for £l5 per pair. End of conversation. I just can't understand how someone can just come out and ask such a thing. There are some strange people in the world eh.


I think when someone doesn't knit or crochet, they just don't have any idea the time it takes or effort or money, to make things. I think since the advent of Walmart, people look at us like a personal 'walmart'. They can just ask us for whatever, and we can whip it up by tomorrow for a couple of bucks.

I often have people ask me to make things and they will pay me for them.... normally I just apologize now because I work 3 part time jobs as well as work on my website and take care of a teenager and hubby. I did have someone ask me to make them some slippers (a friend who lives far away). It was near Christmas and I was buried in gift projects I had to get done. She told me she would pay me for them. I already had yarn, and figured that they would take me 2 days at least to make, so $10 and a couple $ for shipping them. She was pretty upset and told me that was far too much on their budget. 
Oh well...
We have all been through it, and all understand!  Know your limits and JUST SAY NO! 
HUGS!


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## Muddyann (Jan 29, 2011)

Sometimes just saying that your booked is the friend friendliest way of wording it. It's not worth them getting upset at you if you enjoy their friendship. If you don't then it doesn't really matter. 


bevqual said:


> boring knit said:
> 
> 
> > On the subject of people disrespecting the time and effort we all put into our lovely craftwork: I went to a club yesterday in the village and someone I'd never met or been introduced to said, when seeing the socks I knit. "You can knit me a couple of pairs, I need some for friends for Christmas presents. Unbelievable. I told her if I did it wouldn't be this Christmas as I knit for a lot of family members and had a long list to do. Also told her I'd seen similar hand knit socks for sale at craft sale for £l5 per pair. End of conversation. I just can't understand how someone can just come out and ask such a thing. There are some strange people in the world eh.
> ...


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## rogmankir (Aug 8, 2011)

This year my brothers/sisters in law/neices & nephews are getting hand knitted items. I am fortunate to have a family who understands not only the value of a handmade item (LOVE getting the things my sisters in law make - handmade soaps, artisan quality tree ornaments, etc.) but understand that I don't use the high-end materials to make what I made. Probably 95% of what my family is getting this year will be from, based on, or inspired by posts I've encountered on this forum. My family appreciates the time, effort, and thought I put into what I make just as much as I appreciate getting the gift cards (practical, easy to carry home on the airplane) they buy for us - always from stores they know I and my family appreciate.


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## PauletteB (Mar 10, 2011)

For me knitting is such a personal thing. Few people outside of crafters really appreciate the time and energy it takes to create a project. I am blessed to have family and friends who appreciate the time and expense it takes for me to make things for them. I don't volunteer to do projects for people.


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## LuLuLeesa (Jan 26, 2011)

I just came across a great article by accident, which I think sums it up. A must read. In Defense of Selfish Knittinghttp://twistcollective.com/collecti...5-features/120-in-defense-of-selfish-knitting


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## MAKI (Jul 7, 2011)

Hi Folks, we are airing our hurts on this topic, so heres another.
When I was about 15yrs, in the days when girls were filling their`glory boxes`, the friend of a friend asked if I would embroider a supper cloth for her. I loved embroidery in those days. When finished I bought the cotton and did a five row crochet edge around it. It looked really pretty, my Mum and I were so proud of it.
When I took it all nicely wrapped, to the friend of a friend at work, she was at lunch, so I left the cloth with a verbal message.
Now, that was SIXTY FIVE YEARS ago, still waiting to hear if she even liked it...... Gnash gnash.
Incidently, her name was JOY. Bah!!!!!!!!!!!! 
My daughter really appreciates all the knitting I do for she and the grandies, so that makes up for a lot.
Cheers, and keep smiling, MAKI


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## rob529 (Apr 10, 2011)

Christi said:


> Do you all think it is bad if I volunteer my time to make stuff for my infant classroom at the daycare I work for such as washcloths and soft pillows for the kids to play on in the little cubbie nook I have in my classroom? My boss said he would pay for the yarn I buy plus the polyfiberfill. I didn't think it was bad.....I kind of like doing it as I am also able to work on it during working hours.


The most important thing you said is that you like doing it. It's not always a chore for us to donate our time but you must not see it as a chore. Sometimes it supplies some of us with the things you need to be able to do your craft that our purses won't allow. If it makes your heart happy don't let others talk you out of it.
Robin in TX


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## wetfeet2 (Sep 14, 2011)

dad was self employed, i've been self employed and now John is self employed. I know what you mean. when she says you have never worked, just comment "not for someone else, no.". when she says she wishes she was retired, say "wish i was, too! maybe someday.". then throw in something about your boss being a slave driver, and watch her brain explode. i've done this, its quite satisfying/ammusing and gets the point across quite nicely to the rest of the group that your not just laying around doing nothing. I've been there. i understand.
Kristine



Country Bumpkins said:


> I have always sewed all of my kids clothes. I husband and I have a wood working shop that we have sold items all over the USA. We had to work hard when my husband was laid off from his job. We worked inside our house making idems for stores while raising 3 kids. We worked sometimes from 7;00am to 10:00 pm. We made things for people for Christmas until it was Christmas Eve. I raised my kids without help. We made all the furniture in our home. Homemade made our living for years. All this to get to my story. I have a friend who everytime I see her has to mention that I have never worked. This always cuts to the bone. Because I have worked just not went to a 9-5 job. Are people jealous of us that make things. Someone makes everything even from the stories. She always has to say I wish I was retired like you. It hurts so bad because I do love her. Sorry yall got me worked up. LOL People are just rude!


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## kangaroo (May 20, 2011)

Should have told her to put a sock in it


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## nickerina (Jul 29, 2011)

Missunoriginalknitwit said:


> I agree and empathise. I'll never forget my sister-in-law one Christmas, years ago, when I was first married and we had not much cash. I knitted my young nephew a lovely blue tank top with a picture of a red train on it and gave it to him as part of his Christmas present. A few days later she was having 'words' with me (we never truly shared similar views) and out came this, "..... at least I paid REAL money for my presents!!!". Like the effort was nothing and the wool was free - I was gutted as I really thought my nephew would love the top but I never saw him wear it
> xXx


 I know how you feel! I have made many things, afghans, hats, vests for my grandsons and all I have ever seen the wear is occasionally a hat. I never see the afghans and blankets anywhere in the house when I visit. It is discouraging.


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## nickerina (Jul 29, 2011)

Christi said:


> Do you all think it is bad if I volunteer my time to make stuff for my infant classroom at the daycare I work for such as washcloths and soft pillows for the kids to play on in the little cubbie nook I have in my classroom? My boss said he would pay for the yarn I buy plus the polyfiberfill. I didn't think it was bad.....I kind of like doing it as I am also able to work on it during working hours.


I think it is wonderful of you to do this! I make hats for Fostering Hope and preemies at the hospital. In my own time and because I want to. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks - you go with your heart! You must have a big one.


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## CarolBest (Sep 14, 2011)

anneevamod said:


> jmai5421 said:
> 
> 
> > Missunoriginalknitwit said:
> ...


jmai5421 I am so sorry that your son does not realize the effort and love that you attempt to give to his family. My heart aches for you.


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## kiwi11 (Jul 27, 2011)

boring knit said:


> On the subject of people disrespecting the time and effort we all put into our lovely craftwork: I went to a club yesterday in the village and someone I'd never met or been introduced to said, when seeing the socks I knit. "You can knit me a couple of pairs, I need some for friends for Christmas presents. Unbelievable. I told her if I did it wouldn't be this Christmas as I knit for a lot of family members and had a long list to do. Also told her I'd seen similar hand knit socks for sale at craft sale for £l5 per pair. End of conversation. I just can't understand how someone can just come out and ask such a thing. There are some strange people in the world eh.


It is unbelievable how insensitive some people can be. It must have someting to do with their upbringing....
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you, was my Mother's fave saying and instilled into the minds of my 7 siblings and myself. I try to be nice, but some of you appear to be pushovers ( in the nicest possible way ) 
How hard is it to say NO?? Time is $$$, and your crafts are a treasured extension of yourself. Place a higher value on your work and self esteem and self worth is your just reward-oh and $$$ too. LOL


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## leannab (Sep 7, 2011)

MAKI said:


> Hi Folks, we are airing our hurts on this topic, so heres another.
> When I was about 15yrs, in the days when girls were filling their`glory boxes`, the friend of a friend asked if I would embroider a supper cloth for her. I loved embroidery in those days. When finished I bought the cotton and did a five row crochet edge around it. It looked really pretty, my Mum and I were so proud of it.
> When I took it all nicely wrapped, to the friend of a friend at work, she was at lunch, so I left the cloth with a verbal message.
> Now, that was SIXTY FIVE YEARS ago, still waiting to hear if she even liked it...... Gnash gnash.
> ...


My ungrateful SIL was named Joy too!!!
Leanna x


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## AJP (Sep 12, 2011)

So inspiring!! Thanks for sharing!!



joeysomma said:


> There is so much talk about bosses and co-workers taking advantage of your crafting talents. I have to tell you about my boss. When he became a grandpa for the first time, I knitted an afghan for his grandson. He also knew I gave many items to charity. One day I found two huge boxes of yarn on my desk. He saw them at an auction and purchsed them for me. I shared some with a co-worker who wanted to make an afghan for an expected grandchild. Almost all of the rest has been made into lapghans for a local nursing home.


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## shanni (Apr 18, 2011)

Should have told them they would need to pay in advance and then be put onto a waiting list, of course make the payment something astronomical so they wouldn't want to know.


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## shanni (Apr 18, 2011)

She said you must have lots of yarn you can use and I'm not paying you for knitting me a sweater - since we're friends you should do it for free!![/quote]
Hope you told her where to go


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## shanni (Apr 18, 2011)

Christi, you made the choice to make these items, it wasn't just expected of you . Enjoy


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## fibrefriend (May 27, 2011)

I was once asked to sell a quilt I had exhibited at a local quilting exhibition. The fabric alone cost more than $200. One of my quilting mentors told me to double the cost of the raw materials and add 10%. When the would-be buyer was told the quilt price was $450, they changed their mind! Imagine if we doubled the price of our wool and added 10%, do you think we'd have people clamouring to buy our knitted items? I've always found that knitting for a price makes the knitting a drudgery, rather than a joy. If I want to give things away, that's MY choice. I don't want people expecting me to knit, just because they want something! I'll keep knitting for people, not because they expect it, but because I want to do it!


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## AJP (Sep 12, 2011)

Thank you for the link I think I needed it this year.



dizzileesa said:


> I just came across a great article by accident, which I think sums it up. A must read. In Defense of Selfish Knittinghttp://twistcollective.com/collecti...5-features/120-in-defense-of-selfish-knitting


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## mzmom1 (Mar 4, 2011)

I love it! that's the sweetest way of saying "No way, you idiot!" that I've ever seen. May I quote?


CinDeeLooWho said:


> The appropriate response should be a simple "I'd be happy to give you an estimate when my current projects are done!" lol


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## Suzannet (Jul 21, 2011)

I agree with all the comments. My problem is a workmate that 'volunteers' my services. Knitting, crochet, and cake making. then when I have spent time, money and effort making something, the gift somehow becomes a gift from both of us - she even does it with birthday cards etc. I have tried to tell her but she is so thick skinned you wouldn't believe. Just recently I crocheted a baby shawl for one of the guys here - she found out about it and started saying how she would put it in a basket with some baby bits (powder etc) from both of us. I know it sounds churlish, but it took me weeks, and the bits she would have put in was a 5 minute trip to the shops. I gave the shawl to the guy quietly, and haven't mentioned it yet.


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## Debbie J (Feb 9, 2011)

Suzannet said:


> I agree with all the comments. My problem is a workmate that 'volunteers' my services. Knitting, crochet, and cake making. then when I have spent time, money and effort making something, the gift somehow becomes a gift from both of us - she even does it with birthday cards etc. I have tried to tell her but she is so thick skinned you wouldn't believe. Just recently I crocheted a baby shawl for one of the guys here - she found out about it and started saying how she would put it in a basket with some baby bits (powder etc) from both of us. I know it sounds churlish, but it took me weeks, and the bits she would have put in was a 5 minute trip to the shops. I gave the shawl to the guy quietly, and haven't mentioned it yet.


Good for you, Suzannet! That was a good way to handle the situation.


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## Heartigan (Aug 29, 2011)

Again, so amazed at the troubles fellow artisans are having with 'liberty takers'. I am just getting back into knitting, so my skill set does not yet involve any projects that would ever be on public display. In fact, most are frogged with yarn lying all over my bedroom.  So perhaps the lesson I'm learning is to always have a 'decoy' project for public knitting! Always the same color, always the same size, and then to be frequently frogging in public! That way people will assume I am the most inept knitter in the world and they would never consider asking me to make anything! :lol: :lol: :lol: I don't mean to negate the truly hurt feelings of those who knit and give from the heart and then suffer at the hands from selfish, self centered, mindless, ill-mannered dolts! But do just keep knitting it is good for the soul.


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## Tvberri (Jan 25, 2011)

I knitted what I thought were beautiful placemats, towels, and dishcloths, to match the cross-stitched breadcloths I made the year before for my nieces, and sister. I was so proud of the work I had done (since I was a very new knitter) and it is almost Christmas again, and I have yet to get a thank you or a go jump in the lake from my nieces. My sister told me that the towels and dishcloths were not practical and used them as drop cloths for her quaker parrot! It was very hurtful to me. Then my sister came to me earlier this year with the great idea that I knit everyone a scarf and hat this year it would be more "practical". I was dumbfounded! It never ceases to amaze me how hurtful family can be without trying!


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## Dlclose (Jun 26, 2011)

CarolBest said:


> Christi said:
> 
> 
> > Do you all think it is bad if I volunteer my time to make stuff for my infant classroom at the daycare I work for such as washcloths and soft pillows for the kids to play on in the little cubbie nook I have in my classroom? My boss said he would pay for the yarn I buy plus the polyfiberfill. I didn't think it was bad.....I kind of like doing it as I am also able to work on it during working hours.
> ...


HAhaha! That's a really good one!!


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## littlemissxmas (Oct 1, 2011)

That is an awesome thing to have the class do I have never herd of it before now. Maybe all the schools should do that.


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## Knitten Kitten (Sep 11, 2011)

knittingnewbie said:


> ScotKnits said:
> 
> 
> > When I was leaving work one day a lady who was waiting to pick someone up from my workplace said "hey, you knit a lot don't you? I said yes and she asked me to knit her a sweater - she wanted me to bring some pattern books so she could choose one. I told her I didn't have time to knit the sweater as I'm working on projects for my family. She said but I'm you're best friend (I don't even know her except to say hello). I told her If I had time to knit a sweater it would cost around $150.00 for the yarn & my time. She said you must have lots of yarn you can use and I'm not paying you for knitting me a sweater - since we're friends you should do it for free!!
> ...


next time tell her she can clean your house, wash your clothes and your car and babysit your kids for you. since you are best friends you don't have to pay her. just for the washing powder.


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## maudeham (Jun 6, 2011)

Volunteering to do something is entirely different from being told to do something or assuming that you'll do somthing. Time is valuable and it is yours.


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## PaKnitter (Mar 7, 2011)

Tvberri said:


> I knitted what I thought were beautiful placemats, towels, and dishcloths, to match the cross-stitched breadcloths I made the year before for my nieces, and sister. I was so proud of the work I had done (since I was a very new knitter) and it is almost Christmas again, and I have yet to get a thank you or a go jump in the lake from my nieces. My sister told me that the towels and dishcloths were not practical and used them as drop cloths for her quaker parrot! It was very hurtful to me. Then my sister came to me earlier this year with the great idea that I knit everyone a scarf and hat this year it would be more "practical". I was dumbfounded! It never ceases to amaze me how hurtful family can be without trying!


I hope you aren't planning to make your sister and neices anything for Christmas this year. Buy the parrot something instead, give the neices a piece of Avon jewelry on sale and your sister a starbucks gift card or something and knit for a charity instead. But buy for the parrot first!


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## littlemissxmas (Oct 1, 2011)

anneevamod said:


> RYS said:
> 
> 
> > anneevamod said:
> ...


I bet the medical responders and police would love to have the bears also. Nothing helps calm a child like a toy created with love when they are hurting or scared.


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## Debbie J (Feb 9, 2011)

[/quote] I bet the medical responders and police would love to have the bears also. Nothing helps calm a child like a toy created with love when they are hurting or scared.[/quote]

Or, you could donate the bears and such to a homeless shelter or a Woman's shelter for abused women. That is what I am planning on doing this next year. And most don't have anything at all except their children and what they have on their backs when they leave the abusive partner. I was really lucky, I didn't have to go to a shelter as I had family that loved me enough to take me and my 3 children in.


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## littlemissxmas (Oct 1, 2011)

I bet the medical responders and police would love to have the bears also. Nothing helps calm a child like a toy created with love when they are hurting or scared.[/quote]

Or, you could donate the bears and such to a homeless shelter or a Woman's shelter for abused women. That is what I am planning on doing this next year. And most don't have anything at all except their children and what they have on their backs when they leave the abusive partner. I was really lucky, I didn't have to go to a shelter as I had family that loved me enough to take me and my 3 children in.[/quote]

That is where she was donating them. I just gave some food for thought of those who would apperciate them.


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## Debbie J (Feb 9, 2011)

littlemissxmas said:


> I bet the medical responders and police would love to have the bears also. Nothing helps calm a child like a toy created with love when they are hurting or scared.


Or, you could donate the bears and such to a homeless shelter or a Woman's shelter for abused women. That is what I am planning on doing this next year. And most don't have anything at all except their children and what they have on their backs when they leave the abusive partner. I was really lucky, I didn't have to go to a shelter as I had family that loved me enough to take me and my 3 children in.[/quote]

That is where she was donating them. I just gave some food for thought of those who would apperciate them.[/quote]

OK, Thanks!


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## jay macey (Sep 14, 2011)

only some one who does'nt knit would make a comment like that what a heathen, who does'nt knit, no one normal that's for sure.


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## lilak (Jan 26, 2011)

Yep--know just what you mean. I make almost all of my Christmas and birthday gifts for family.....except my only sister. The last year I made her a gift was a leather briefcase on which I hand-stitched a city scene, with buildings, windows, light poles, streets and cars, people, etc. She not only didn't even thank me, but she told me that she threw it in a closet and never used it. So--she has never received any of my precious handmade gifts since then! I keep them for people who really appreciate them!


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## Dlclose (Jun 26, 2011)

DebraPryor said:


> joeysomma said:
> 
> 
> > There is so much talk about bosses and co-workers taking advantage of your crafting talents. I have to tell you about my boss. When he became a grandpa for the first time, I knitted an afghan for his grandson. He also knew I gave many items to charity. One day I found two huge boxes of yarn on my desk. He saw them at an auction and purchsed them for me. I shared some with a co-worker who wanted to make an afghan for an expected grandchild. Almost all of the rest has been made into lapghans for a local nursing home.
> ...


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## Dlclose (Jun 26, 2011)

QHMom said:


> after losing my husband to a farming accident and left w/ 2 young children I decided to make christmas into what it should and be and hand-make all my gifts (this was 1987 and still is my view)
> After giving gift baskets of all homemade bath products from my herb garden a guest suggested I sell my products.
> My mother-in-law replied, in front of all, Yes, then you would have money to buy us REAL gifts!
> I've NEVER made her another thing!


Oh MY!!!


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## cattdages (Aug 3, 2011)

There is a BIG difference between volunteering or doing something out of love and people having expectations.


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## artbycarol (Oct 17, 2011)

I think it is wonderful to make things for a donation to a classroom, daycare, homebound etc. I think the discussion is about those who automatically expect you to drop everything and knit or crochet something for them. Remember, "no" is a complete sentence!


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## StellasKnits (Apr 10, 2011)

Christi said:


> Do you all think it is bad if I volunteer my time to make stuff for my infant classroom at the daycare I work for such as washcloths and soft pillows for the kids to play on in the little cubbie nook I have in my classroom? My boss said he would pay for the yarn I buy plus the polyfiberfill. I didn't think it was bad.....I kind of like doing it as I am also able to work on it during working hours.


Here is the difference "Do you all think it is bad if I VOLUNTEER my time".....versus "Make this for me!" You're volunteering to do something you want to do versus someone expecting you to do it. So, knit away and watch all the enjoyment those little ones get out of your hard work! I venture they'll appreciate it more than some adults :thumbup:


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## Dlclose (Jun 26, 2011)

artbycarol said:


> I think it is wonderful to make things for a donation to a classroom, daycare, homebound etc. I think the discussion is about those who automatically expect you to drop everything and knit or crochet something for them. Remember, "no" is a complete sentence!


GREAT RESPONSE!!!


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## beverlyH (Oct 26, 2011)

That had to have been a beautiful labor of work that someone else would have reallly appreciatedd it. Some people just don't know good work of art. Her trash will be someones treasure if she gives that gift away. I would love to have that hand sewn patttern you put on that leather gift.


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## Wildercrafter (Feb 9, 2011)

Absolutely if you want to then by all means go for it. Only if you
prefer not to should you say no.


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## Orilliaknitter (Jun 7, 2011)

terrachroma said:


> Also another situation: I spend $$$ on my knitting/fiber without much concern. I was in my MD office the other evening and a mother could only afford one of 2 prescriptions for her about 8yo daughter, until her pay day 1-2 weeks away. (These were psy meds, I overheard her call to the Pharmacy) I thought about what I spend on yarn and how this child's 15.00 co-pay could really make a difference. I approched the mother on the phone, gave my debit card number to the Pharmacy and made the co-pay.
> I'm not slapping myself on the back here but there are other ways to make sacrafices with our knitting time/yarn stash situation.
> Oh and the weird thing is I received a check for 15.00 in the mail the next day.
> As Artisans our hearts overflow and there are many ways to direct it to those in need.
> ...


Not too weird. When we bless others we receive blessings in return at some point 'poured in, shaken down and more added'. You blessed that lady and God blessed you. You will have a jewel in your crown that's for sure.


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## Heartigan (Aug 29, 2011)

AMEN!


jay macey said:


> only some one who does'nt knit would make a comment like that what a heathen, who does'nt knit, no one normal that's for sure.


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## artbycarol (Oct 17, 2011)

Ditto!


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## lifeline (Apr 12, 2011)

MoMo said:


> When we first got married ( and I was knitting) my DH always " politely" refused anything that I sugguested I make for him. he is from the Azores, and the family was so poor that they had to borrow shoes to make his first Communion in, They routinely went to school barefooted, and they learned to associate hand made with " homemade".It was the mark of distinction that set them apart as being "poor" from those whose family could provide something store-bought, which always seemed to be the bright star, unattainable and shining in the distance. Once the difference was pointed out to Joe, he didn;t chamge his mond immediately, but,over the years has accepted, worn and ASKED ME TO MAke him various things... I think it is a matter of perception. and there is a world of difference ( not only in the stitching, but socially as well) between homemade and handmade. MoMo


I think this is a really important point. When I grew up home made was the norm, but as a teenager I felt ashamed of it (now I am ashamed of that, as I am ashamed of a lot of things I did/felt as a teenager). I remember particularly picnics with another family everything they had was shop bought and I was ashamed of out home-baked. If they offered their shop bought cakes I loved it but would never offer our homemade back.


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## anntics (Jun 4, 2011)

[/quote]
I think this is a really important point. When I grew up home made was the norm, but as a teenager I felt ashamed of it (now I am ashamed of that, as I am ashamed of a lot of things I did/felt as a teenager). I remember particularly picnics with another family everything they had was shop bought and I was ashamed of out home-baked. If they offered their shop bought cakes I loved it but would never offer our homemade back.[/quote]

I don't think you should feel ashamed, times were different. At school I always had hand knitted woollies made by my Nanna and kids teased me about it, although the adults used to wax lyrical about the beautiful handiwork. I used to long for a shop-bought cardigan because people only had hand-made if they couldn't afford to buy them. Remember, there were no 'cheap' shops to buy uniforms and clothes from like there are now and we came from a large family with, also much less common these days.

I now realise that my Nanna was a supremely talented needlewoman and I was lucky that she passed some of those skills on to me. These days hand-made is not the cheap option any longer and is valued by those who appreciate the work and skill involved.


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## makeitsew2750 (Jan 23, 2011)

Every year my husband and I volunteer to work the Silent Auction at the local Fly In that is put on for the Cancer Society. I knit 2 complete baby layettes, one for a boy and one for a girl to put into baskets with all the lotion, powders etc. and some toys and they are always a big success for bringing in money. I also knit wash cloths for my ladies at the beauty shop and they always tell me how they appreciate something hand made. I very seldom knit for money unless the person knows ahead of time that it will cost them a pretty penny for my time and the yarn and it has worked out well for me.


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## bellestarr12 (Mar 26, 2011)

dizzileesa said:


> I just came across a great article by accident, which I think sums it up. A must read. In Defense of Selfish Knittinghttp://twistcollective.com/collecti...5-features/120-in-defense-of-selfish-knitting


I loved this article! (and much of what I knit actually is for myself - selfish me!)


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## jeannewmie (Aug 12, 2011)

I think it's ignorance - they haven't been educated! The question is: Do we feel the need to teach the lesson? Interesting conversations. Jeanne


BABYANDBOO'SMOTHER said:


> SherryH said:
> 
> 
> > People are astounding, many seem to think if it isn't "bought from a store" it doesn't cost anything or if it's handmade it isn't "as good as" something from a store...how stupid and thoughtless. As to the so called friend...if she were actually a friend she wouldn't have asked. For the boss, ask her what she's making. And Christi, volunteering is good, being volunteered isn't always.
> ...


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## jeannewmie (Aug 12, 2011)

Well said - gift giving is always a risk. I'd rather take the risk.


Heartigan said:


> But if the receiver doesn't appreciate it or believe as Ido that homemade is better... how is it their fault. Sometimes I think we give what we WANT to receive. I think if you love someone enough to give them gifts, then you should know what makes them happy and appreciative. Once a gift is given, it has silver wings that you can't see. It is set free to fly. Where it lands and who becames happy with it, is not the givers concern. Perhaps it gets rehomed, perhaps donated, perhaps garage saled, someone will be glad they have it. I would rather give and perhaps be disappointed than never to give at all.
> 
> 
> theyarnlady said:
> ...


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## lorraine magee (Jan 20, 2011)

when i was growing up every thing was handmade expect shors. my grandmother was in her 70,s. she could take a newspaper. and make a pattern.then the clothes were made from grain bags. i wouldn,t want the clothes but i would love to have her talent.most of the other kids were poor so it wasn,t so bad. no credit cards. happy knitting


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## Marzoli (Mar 7, 2011)

Volunteer is the operative word here!


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## JeanJ (Jul 12, 2011)

Isn't it surprising how "home made" seems to skip a generation? My Mom grew up in a family of 9 kids and dirt poor. While Mother loved the "home made" quilts everything else was store bought. I loved anything and everything my GM made for me. My grand kids want me to knit all kinds of things for them. Even the DILs are starting to ask for knit gifts. I have many of the quilts my GM made and can recognize materials from many of the dresses she made for me. Oh, and the doillies too. Wonderful memories.


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## boring knit (May 9, 2011)

I think this is a really important point. When I grew up home made was the norm, but as a teenager I felt ashamed of it (now I am ashamed of that, as I am ashamed of a lot of things I did/felt as a teenager). I remember particularly picnics with another family everything they had was shop bought and I was ashamed of out home-baked. If they offered their shop bought cakes I loved it but would never offer our homemade back.[/quote]

I don't think you should feel ashamed, times were different. At school I always had hand knitted woollies made by my Nanna and kids teased me about it, although the adults used to wax lyrical about the beautiful handiwork. I used to long for a shop-bought cardigan because people only had hand-made if they couldn't afford to buy them. Remember, there were no 'cheap' shops to buy uniforms and clothes from like there are now and we came from a large family with, also much less common these days.

I now realise that my Nanna was a supremely talented needlewoman and I was lucky that she passed some of those skills on to me. These days hand-made is not the cheap option any longer and is valued by those who appreciate the work and skill involved.[/quote]


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## boring knit (May 9, 2011)

I think this is a really important point. When I grew up home made was the norm, but as a teenager I felt ashamed of it (now I am ashamed of that, as I am ashamed of a lot of things I did/felt as a teenager). I remember particularly picnics with another family everything they had was shop bought and I was ashamed of out home-baked. If they offered their shop bought cakes I loved it but would never offer our homemade back.[/quote]

I don't think you should feel ashamed, times were different. At school I always had hand knitted woollies made by my Nanna and kids teased me about it, although the adults used to wax lyrical about the beautiful handiwork. I used to long for a shop-bought cardigan because people only had hand-made if they couldn't afford to buy them. Remember, there were no 'cheap' shops to buy uniforms and clothes from like there are now and we came from a large family with, also much less common these days.

I now realise that my Nanna was a supremely talented needlewoman and I was lucky that she passed some of those skills on to me. These days hand-made is not the cheap option any longer and is valued by those who appreciate the work and skill involved.[/quote]

Hi Anne, I guess there are many of us on here that grew up wishing we had nice things like someone else in class. However, years later a school pal told me she envied my marmite toasts that mum lovingly wrapped in a brown paper bag for me to have in break. She had *posh* cut bread and cheese. Little did I know that my lovely crusty bread doorsteps were her idea of heaven.


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## Juleen (Jun 3, 2011)

We never lived close to family so I never have had the fun of knowing them. I have few memories of grandparents and almost none of cousins which were all boys anyway. My mom didn't sew or knit so I was never around that either. However, even when I was little I wanted to knit--why, I have no idea (must be a reincarnated knitter <g>). Then I married my wonderful husband who had a grandmother who was kind enough to give us afghans that she crocheted so beautifully plus an incredibly crocheted table cloth her mother had made. My MIL was a master at sewing and each year she made our daughter a lovely velvet dress for Christmas. We still have the afghans and they not only keep me warm physically, but, each time I touch them, I think of Grandma Tyra. I hope the things I knit will be equally cherished!


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## CathyAnn (May 14, 2011)

Heartigan said:


> Again, so amazed at the troubles fellow artisans are having with 'liberty takers'. I am just getting back into knitting, so my skill set does not yet involve any projects that would ever be on public display. In fact, most are frogged with yarn lying all over my bedroom.  So perhaps the lesson I'm learning is to always have a 'decoy' project for public knitting! Always the same color, always the same size, and then to be frequently frogging in public! That way people will assume I am the most inept knitter in the world and they would never consider asking me to make anything! :lol: :lol: :lol: I don't mean to negate the truly hurt feelings of those who knit and give from the heart and then suffer at the hands from selfish, self centered, mindless, ill-mannered dolts! But do just keep knitting it is good for the soul.


Heartigan, you sure have given me a good laugh for the day! :lol: :lol: :lol:

My mother was an expert seamstress and made ALL of my sister's and my clothes out of good quality materials (Pendleton wool as an example). When I think back, our wardrobes looked "high end." My poor mother got insulted when my sister asked her if she could get something store-bought like the other kids (I felt the same as my sister, I hate to admit) -- and Mom let her know how insulting that sentiment was! I now remember some of the beautiful things she made and remind her about their beauty (such as a Pendleton wool plaid hip-pleat skirt she made without a pattern), letting her know how I appreciate all that she did for us. I'm just thankful that she's still with us, for me to tell her!


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## knittingbee (Jan 18, 2011)

Excellant answer! I will use it. thank you.


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## glacy1 (Sep 30, 2011)

A few years ago, I had crocheted a gorgeous mile a minute afghan for my son.. (Inside rows were brightly multicolored with black edging, looked like stained glass windows).. He hooked up with my (now former) DIL. One day I went over to their house and found my beautiful afghan used as doggy bedding in the dog run. It was dirty and COVERED in dog hair. I rescued it and brought it back home to my 'safe harbor'.. It took many washes (and I even tried the dry cleaners) to get the dog hair out of it. It is still safely in my possession for now because he still has a dog that sheds and he does not want to 'ruin' it again. I have made a few 'small' items for him that he seems to appreciate... like a little black winter cap.. he still has that.. I was appalled and hurt that the DIL would put that pretty afghan out with the dogs.


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## knittingbee (Jan 18, 2011)

Perhaps that is an example of "Pay it forward" and that lady will be able to do something nice or helpful for someone else. Good for you.


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## hotske (Aug 27, 2011)

The next time anyone asks me to knit for them (except family and friends), I am going to tell them to go to the Knittingparadise website and they can learn to knit for themselves.


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## jennay (Oct 28, 2011)

DeeDeeF said:


> We've all had that same circumstance at one time or another haven't we? At least HERE everyone understands the time and effort involved in making something.
> 
> One that REALLY ticks me off is a noncrafter looking for any teeny flaw and publicly pointing it out. Oh, and then theres the x-crafter {as bad as the X-smoker} "I stopped doing that a long time ago but If I did it I'd do" .... whatever it is different or use a more complicated pattern or or or !
> 
> OK, witchin' session over!


I am proud to say there is a small mistake in everything I do. That's what make them handmade, and that's what makes them special, I am human, I will make mistakes!


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## LizMiller (Oct 31, 2011)

boring knit said:


> On the subject of people disrespecting the time and effort we all put into our lovely craftwork: I went to a club yesterday in the village and someone I'd never met or been introduced to said, when seeing the socks I knit. "You can knit me a couple of pairs, I need some for friends for Christmas presents. Unbelievable. I told her if I did it wouldn't be this Christmas as I knit for a lot of family members and had a long list to do. Also told her I'd seen similar hand knit socks for sale at craft sale for £l5 per pair. End of conversation. I just can't understand how someone can just come out and ask such a thing. There are some strange people in the world eh.


I'm laughing here - well done you!! Wish I'd been beside you! I also get the impression that some folks think a hand made present is a cheap one! I've just spend a fortune on wool and could have bought at least two, if not 3, shop jumpers for the same price! The good thing is that, if it's an adult size, I can always wear it myself if they don't want it - and it will be in colours I like too!


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## fayby (Apr 4, 2011)

Hi,just a small observation. Home made as opposed to hand made. To me they are the same thing. Why does one get the respect deserved and not the other? Only folks without the skills seem to think that there is a difference. Fayby


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## Carlyta (Mar 23, 2011)

That's family for you. I only knit/crochet items for my 2 daughters and 2 grandchildren not for other family members. I know my daughters appreciate what I make for them and will take care of them.


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## nhauf001 (Jan 18, 2011)

hotske said:


> The next time anyone asks me to knit for them (except family and friends), I am going to tell them to go to the Knittingparadise website and they can learn to knit for themselves.


I love it, and will borrow it!


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## clayk (Feb 25, 2011)

:roll: indeed this is interesting. daughter is nanny to twins(which i adore but...) she asked if i would make them some sweaters blankies and toys. she had seen the things i had made for nephew.she thought i could just use left over yarn. then she told the mother and she ordered match sets for both. which i did, but i feel kinda abused. or should I?


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## knittingbee (Jan 18, 2011)

I am a sporadic knitter unlike many of you who knit a lot and probably make many beautiful items for yourselves and others. I knit only for my grandchildren and have not made tons but also have not gotten many thank-yous. Imagine my surprise and joy when one of my daughters recently told me she has saved every garment I made for her children as well as those I made for her niece that were handed down to her children. She has them all! And I started a sweater for her 4 year old the very next day. Praise and appreciation is sure sweet and a real incentive! It makes up for all those who want us to knit for them for nothing.


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## Carlyta (Mar 23, 2011)

My daughter knows that the items I knit/crochet for my grandchildren she has to keep and not give them away to anyone. That way the grandkids will have something to give to pass on to their children too. And if taken care of properly, these items will last for many years to come. :lol:


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## LizMiller (Oct 31, 2011)

fayby said:


> Hi,just a small observation. Home made as opposed to hand made. To me they are the same thing. Why does one get the respect deserved and not the other? Only folks without the skills seem to think that there is a difference. Fayby


Oddly enough, I've never thought about any difference between home made and hand made until you mention it!! But now I know exactly what you mean! Maybe it's because I've always made things at home by hand, starting with doll's clothes when I was little! Around the same time, my mum would be knitting two jumpers or whatever at the same time - I was a twin and my sister and I would watch the jumpers "grow" on the needles. So I grew up knowing the time and effort involved!


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## clayk (Feb 25, 2011)

my one and only child, gave away every single thing i made from her baby days and the ones i made grands.also pineapple table cloth, and king size bed throw. can't count all the ski sweaters. boo hoo, now she wants keepsakes.
what would you do?


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## Muddyann (Jan 29, 2011)

Maybe I am mean, but I am kind of going through the same with my daughter. I put things away for when her daughter or son are old enough to be given them. I figured she's already given away her keepsakes, the grandkids will get ones of their own, when she no longer has the ability to dispose of them at will.


clayk said:


> my one and only child, gave away every single thing i made from her baby days and the ones i made grands.also pineapple table cloth, and king size bed throw. can't count all the ski sweaters. boo hoo, now she wants keepsakes.
> what would you do?


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## Orilliaknitter (Jun 7, 2011)

bellestarr12 said:


> dizzileesa said:
> 
> 
> > I just came across a great article by accident, which I think sums it up. A must read. In Defense of Selfish Knittinghttp://twistcollective.com/collecti...5-features/120-in-defense-of-selfish-knitting
> ...


She is right on the money! I will definitely try to knit something for myself - soon - in my signature colour, pink. There are lots of pink yarns out there that are a good weight for winter wear, why save pink for just summer time. Right? Right!


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## Orilliaknitter (Jun 7, 2011)

We have 25 pages in this topic so far and I've enjoyed every single posting. We have had some pretty bizarre incidents reported here. This is tremendously interesting to me. Our knitting certainly stirs up emotions in both knitters and non-knitters. That is pretty cool. It will certainly never be boring.


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## lorraine magee (Jan 20, 2011)

remember those that can do and those that can't love to make us look stupid.it's amazing that they will go to walmart buy a sweater ,that gets washes 4 times and falls apart.yet we all have things that we made years ago and look good. happy knitting


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## StitchDesigner (Jan 24, 2011)

I do counted cross stitch as well as knit. I have a dear friend who is a missionary. Her favorite Bible verse is Isa 40:31, "...they shall mount up with wings as eagles..." So, of course, I found a beautiful soaring eagle to cross stitch. I like to do small work as it looks more like a painting. So, it was 18 stitches to an inch. I added the entire verse to it. Got it framed. Gave it to her for Christmas back in 1987. It still hangs in her international headquarters.

And as Paul Harvey said, "Now, for the rest of the story." We had an open house fund raiser for the mission. A woman saw the piece and asked my boss (not the missionary) about it. When the woman approached me, she asked if I would make one for her. I couldn't believe it. I told her right up front she couldn't afford what I would have to charge her. She said something to the effect of, "What do you mean? How much could it possibly cost?" I told her: $500. Then she said, "Well, couldn't you make it smaller?" Answer: NO. It was stitched on linen over two threads of fabric, but with a LOT of over one thread stitches, so it could not be reduced.

She complained to my boss, who came and was practically demanded that I reconsider! The missionary heard, and in my hearing said to my boss, "Her work is exquisite. Don't you think she knows how much it's worth?" End of harassment.


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## pammie1234 (Apr 27, 2011)

I showed a friend of mine the socks I was knitting and she said that she would like a pair, and would pay me. I told her that it would be too expensive, but I would do it if she bought the yarn for herself and some for me and wouldn't put a time limit on it. She agreed. I don't mind doing it because I love to knit and can't always find something to do for family. But, I would only do it for friends when I have time.


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## Tripleransom (Jan 28, 2011)

hotske said:


> The next time anyone asks me to knit for them (except family and friends), I am going to tell them to go to the Knittingparadise website and they can learn to knit for themselves.


WORD!!! :thumbup:


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## kiwi11 (Jul 27, 2011)

hotske said:


> The next time anyone asks me to knit for them (except family and friends), I am going to tell them to go to the Knittingparadise website and they can learn to knit for themselves.


HaHa-Love your comment-It brings to mind an acquantance who assumed I might do some sewing for her.
There was no pointed question-can you please do this for me-but indirectly, offering some small gifts for my grandson, then asking how to do this alteration, as she had determined that someone would charge $15 to do it-I chose not to take the bait and volunteer(shame on me) but at no stage did this person actually ask me to do this task. Anyway, I believe there are many people who can learn (or already know how to) but would like someone else to do it for them. I am way too busy with my Xmas pressies for family, doing preserves, and my time is valuable, so no volunteering for this type of work. I am in no doubt that this person was hoping I would volunteer----


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## ScotKnits (Sep 2, 2011)

mccreamg said:


> Ok but maybe Needlework? I don't know Needle Art is a very good discription.
> 
> 
> dizzileesa said:
> ...


My LYS store has a "Fiber Art" show once a year for a very worthy cause and has always had a great response from the public. The name was created for people who knit & crochet & for spinning, dyeing, yarn painting, weaving etc. Hmm...I think I'll call myself a "Fiber Art Artist"!!! Comments please?

When I look at the pictures on KP of the wonderful work you all do, you are all definitely Artists!


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## DollDreser (Aug 30, 2011)

I do things for presents not necessary for holidays. I love making dish clothes and have made a lot of them to give away. I make lots of hats for the homeless women veterans to give out at the Phoenix StandDown to be held the first weekend in February. I also have given them to my cleaning ladies. I have had a few people (good friends)ask me to make them hats when they see mine. I just let them pick from what I have done. I don't let them have the scarves because they take much longer then the hats. I have also been told to make them and sell them, but then it would be work. I don't need the money, although I could use the extra, but just love making them. I am up to about 30 hats now. Will start making scarfs again soon. Viv


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## pinktrollope (Apr 26, 2011)

Grandma val said:


> I am going to a baby shower this afternoon [my neice is expecting a baby girl in 7 weeks] I have knitted a lacy dress two mattinee coats in a lovely design and a hooded jacket everyone I have shown them to says they are beautiful, BUT my worry is she wont use them , no one seems to wear handmade things , hope I havnt wasted my time [ and money] lol


I did the same for my new granddaughter this year...and the response was great! Lacy matinee coats are coming back! But beware...you might get orders! xx


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## DebraPryor (Oct 2, 2011)

StitchDesigner said:


> I do counted cross stitch as well as knit. ...........She complained to my boss, who came and was practically demanded that I reconsider! The missionary heard, and in my hearing said to my boss, "Her work is exquisite. Don't you think she knows how much it's worth?" End of harassment.


I do cross stitch too, 
Takes ages, and is beautiful (especially on linen)

I'm so glad your friend recognised both your ability and the amount of work that goes into a project like that, and had the guts to stand up and say so...


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## Orilliaknitter (Jun 7, 2011)

Orilliaknitter said:


> We have 25 pages in this topic so far and I've enjoyed every single posting. We have had some pretty bizarre incidents reported here. This is tremendously interesting to me. Our knitting certainly stirs up emotions in both knitters and non-knitters. That is pretty cool. It will certainly never be boring.


p.s. I hope we all continue this line, unless you don't want to. I am learning a lot, that's for certain - from the positive reactions of people around us and the not so positive. I am encouraged every day to continue knitting by being part of this forum and this string in particular, as well as the questions, pictures, links.........


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## Debbie J (Feb 9, 2011)

I do love being a Fiber Artist. =) I knit and crochet and have a smallish loom to weave with. My FIL used to call knitting and crocheting knotting thread. LOL In a sense he was correct.


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## PauletteB (Mar 10, 2011)

dizzileesa said:


> I just came across a great article by accident, which I think sums it up. A must read. In Defense of Selfish Knittinghttp://twistcollective.com/collecti...5-features/120-in-defense-of-selfish-knitting


I think that article sums it all up.


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## TinaOR (May 22, 2011)

I was interested in reading the replies to this topic raised. I used to cross stitch cards a lot and was really upset when a family member didn't even fake appreciation for the last one I gave her. (Needless to say she was given no more!) Just this weekend she told me her daughter was going to ask me to knit her a jumper for Christmas as I am knitting a lot at the moment. I have nipped the request in the bud by telling her I have too much on and if (IF???) I did do it then it would be way after Christmas. People just do not understand about the time and effort we put in. (And of course if we are 'knitting a lot' it means we have projects already on the go!!)


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## nhauf001 (Jan 18, 2011)

clayk said:


> :roll: indeed this is interesting. daughter is nanny to twins(which i adore but...) she asked if i would make them some sweaters blankies and toys. she had seen the things i had made for nephew.she thought i could just use left over yarn. then she told the mother and she ordered match sets for both. which i did, but i feel kinda abused. or should I?


I always feel a little abused in this situation. Part of the joy for me is picking the color and pattern, and changing them if I don't like something about the project. -- much better to give from the heart than to give 'on demand'
Naomi


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## Orilliaknitter (Jun 7, 2011)

nhauf001 said:


> clayk said:
> 
> 
> > :roll: indeed this is interesting. daughter is nanny to twins(which i adore but...) she asked if i would make them some sweaters blankies and toys. she had seen the things i had made for nephew.she thought i could just use left over yarn. then she told the mother and she ordered match sets for both. which i did, but i feel kinda abused. or should I?
> ...


The young nanny jumped the gun by speaking to the mother before okaying it with you. That is really unfortunate and puts a strain on things. I can understand you feeling abused, kinda or a LOT. I know I would feel badly even though the children probably are benefitting from your skills, it's still the principle of the thing.


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## Orilliaknitter (Jun 7, 2011)

DebraPryor said:


> StitchDesigner said:
> 
> 
> > I do counted cross stitch as well as knit. ...........She complained to my boss, who came and was practically demanded that I reconsider! The missionary heard, and in my hearing said to my boss, "Her work is exquisite. Don't you think she knows how much it's worth?" End of harassment.
> ...


I love cross stitch. I do only counted since I haven't mastered the stamped kind. I cannot even imagine working on linen though. I used to be able to stitch on 28 count for the dollhouse things. Now my preference is 14 count. However it is done, cross stitch is exceptionally beautiful and the work that goes into it is phenomenal and I find, really soothing. Only someone who doesn't stitch would think it is a snap! Congratulations to the lady who was defended by the missionary, you deserve a big, warm hug.


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## wilbo (Feb 16, 2011)

I had a friend who was given several pairs of slacks from her sister. She asked me to hem them because "if I take them to the cleaners, they will charge me $12.00 per pair."
So I was supposed to do them for free. I told her that I wasn't very accomplished at hemming and did not want to try for fear they wouldn't be the right length. I hem things for my family all them time, but I don't hire out as someone who does a professional job. I don't think she "got it." I thought it was an imposition based on friendship.


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## debidoodle (Sep 13, 2011)

I've called myself a Fiber Artist for years. It tends to really shut people up , and make them look at what I do a bit more.respectfully.


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## Debbie J (Feb 9, 2011)

wilbo said:


> I had a friend who was given several pairs of slacks from her sister. She asked me to hem them because "if I take them to the cleaners, they will charge me $12.00 per pair."
> So I was supposed to do them for free. I told her that I wasn't very accomplished at hemming and did not want to try for fear they wouldn't be the right length. I hem things for my family all them time, but I don't hire out as someone who does a professional job. I don't think she "got it." I thought it was an imposition based on friendship.


That reminded me of a story my MIL told me. She used to sew for the public. There was one "friend" that wanted her to make something, and then she criticized it every which way. My MIL finally got rid of the "friend" and never sewed for her again.


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## wilbo (Feb 16, 2011)

Yes. that is what happens. You cannot please some people.


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## leannab (Sep 7, 2011)

Debbie J said:


> wilbo said:
> 
> 
> > I had a friend who was given several pairs of slacks from her sister. She asked me to hem them because "if I take them to the cleaners, they will charge me $12.00 per pair."
> ...


Don't even get me started on the abuse of my skills, when it comes to sewing. I could use another 27 pages.

Took the trouble to study for 4 years to get my diploma in dressmaking but it seems that everyone thinks you're a sucker, oh it just needs taking in, a little hem won't take long,etc, of course all for free.

Have been taken down too, did a wedding dress once but when it came to payment, she just decided not to. Foolishly I had handed over the dress because she pleaded with me to borrow it to match something or other, that was it. Tried to take her to court but she moved to Tasmania conveniently.

Had a neighbour who always popped down for a cuppa and was very nice at first. Gradually she would pop in for her cuppa (not a problem with that) but would leave a little pile of sewing for her children, always alterations and mending. I got over it very quickly!! Grrrrr!
Leanna x


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## wilbo (Feb 16, 2011)

That wedding dress takes the cake!


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## Plague (Oct 17, 2011)

LizMiller said:


> boring knit said:
> 
> 
> > On the subject of people disrespecting the time and effort we all put into our lovely craftwork: I went to a club yesterday in the village and someone I'd never met or been introduced to said, when seeing the socks I knit. "You can knit me a couple of pairs, I need some for friends for Christmas presents. Unbelievable. I told her if I did it wouldn't be this Christmas as I knit for a lot of family members and had a long list to do. Also told her I'd seen similar hand knit socks for sale at craft sale for £l5 per pair. End of conversation. I just can't understand how someone can just come out and ask such a thing. There are some strange people in the world eh.
> ...


It's the same way with baking cookies, etc. for Christmas. No one considers how much time and money goes into baking for the holidays. Really - sugar and butter aren't free.

However, this year I emailed a photo of a lovely pattern to my daughter along with a yarn site so she could tell me if she liked the shell and she could choose her own color of yarn (and see the cost). It was a wake up to her!


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## kiwi11 (Jul 27, 2011)

wilbo said:


> I had a friend who was given several pairs of slacks from her sister. She asked me to hem them because "if I take them to the cleaners, they will charge me $12.00 per pair."
> So I was supposed to do them for free. I told her that I wasn't very accomplished at hemming and did not want to try for fear they wouldn't be the right length. I hem things for my family all them time, but I don't hire out as someone who does a professional job. I don't think she "got it." I thought it was an imposition based on friendship.


I soooo agree-good for you for sidestepping that situation and yes- this is similar to my recent situation-where do some people get off assuming our time is FREE and can be abused-
They most probably treat all people like this, and wonder why friendship doesn't last for them.

we need to take a stand, otherwise where is the pleasure in doing our crafts??


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## kiwi11 (Jul 27, 2011)

Plague said:


> LizMiller said:
> 
> 
> > boring knit said:
> ...


Good on you-now your daughter may appreciate more the items you have and will continue to make for her??


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## artbycarol (Oct 17, 2011)

Let's be honest and just say "I don't knit for retail sale, nor do I knit for other people upon request. But if you're interested, I'll suggest where you can take knitting lessons."


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## LadyLibrarian (Oct 7, 2011)

no it isn't bad..


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## LadyLibrarian (Oct 7, 2011)

That happened to me when I made some simple hats from fleece for missions..a lady wants me to make her a leopard one..I told her this would be the last one I made for anyone and she could buy me 1/2 yard to replace the one I am using for her.


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## fairknitter (Oct 23, 2011)

Tell the boss you will buy her a potholder loom... one of those cheesy ones the kids use with the nasty loops... and she can have a go at making those potholders. Of course, you would be happy to donate "2" matching potholders with a pattern of your choice, but she should be able to bang out the rest with her loom. haha.


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## fairknitter (Oct 23, 2011)

This breaks my heart. I hope you found a lovely family to give the sweaters to. A family that appreciates them. I hope you wrote that daughter-in-law out of your will.


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## CinDeeLooWho (Oct 14, 2011)

So I suggest that we all order our own "price tags", and attach it to the knitted/crocheted item with the selling price noted prominently on the tag. As another knitter stated: "Sweater- $250.00", hat- $55.00, Mittens- $35.00. Some people need the visual cue to be able to see the monetary value of what was created from the heart. Sadly, many people would still be too superficial to get it.


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## Carlyta (Mar 23, 2011)

Good for you!! I totally agree with you. :thumbup:


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## CinDeeLooWho (Oct 14, 2011)




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## PatriciaDF (Jan 29, 2011)

Volunteering to do projects is one thing, but being expected to do them for free for someone you barely know is entirely different. I remember sewing pajamas for my sister-in-law and her family for Christmas many years ago (when money was really scarce) and she commented when she opened the package (in a not very nice tone of voice) "oh, these are home made!") Needless to say, she never received another gift from me that I spent any amount of time or expense on.


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## PaKnitter (Mar 7, 2011)

PatriciaDF said:


> Volunteering to do projects is one thing, but being expected to do them for free for someone you barely know is entirely different. I remember sewing pajamas for my sister-in-law and her family for Christmas many years ago (when money was really scarce) and she commented when she opened the package (in a not very nice tone of voice) "oh, these are home made!") Needless to say, she never received another gift from me that I spent any amount of time or expense on.


you can sew flannel pajamas for me. i would love wearing those to bed on a cold winter night.


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## clayk (Feb 25, 2011)

love this! may i use it for next item that someone needs to have knitted
maggie


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## clayk (Feb 25, 2011)

i cross stitched a kitchen scene for someone for xmas, that had a country kitchen.on 28 pt. stitch. very time consuming.
was told, "why don't you take this back, you seem to like this homemade stuff"


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## StitchDesigner (Jan 24, 2011)

clayk said:


> i cross stitched a kitchen scene for someone for xmas, that had a country kitchen.on 28 pt. stitch. very time consuming.
> was told, "why don't you take this back, you seem to like this homemade stuff"


-

Yep, some people have all the tact of a brick! :roll:


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## Orilliaknitter (Jun 7, 2011)

We just need to suggest that people go to an Amish market or even the local farmers' market to see the prices of hand sewn or knit or crafts in general. These people know the value of their work. Knit dishcloths are $2.50 each at our local market. Quilts are well into the hundreds of dollars. We all know that! We are not paying for just the item. We are paying for the skill and knowledge and learning time and production time it takes to create this beautiful product. It is a lesson well learned. It also taught me the value of my own efforts and was a huge boost to my self-esteem.


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## koalatytyme (Jul 3, 2011)

I've had a simular experience with my beading. I've recently learned the peyote stitch with seed beads making mini football Jerseys. When they ask how much, I tell them what I was told by my instructor, if interested in selling. If you sell them, $20.00 is a gift. So they expect that. It takes 2-1/2 hours to make 1. I've thought at least $25.00. Not sure with the other things I want to accomplish with all my crafts. My knitting & crocheting is on the back burner for awhile, with a possible rotator cuff situtation.
People want things but they don't want to pay us for our work. Oh yea, that's the way the US is going with the wages, right? (LOL)


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## Debbie J (Feb 9, 2011)

I hate that so many of you have had this happen to you, too. Some people are just to greedy. Like I said in an earlier post, I would rather have a "home made" gift. To me, it really is the thought that counts. And it takes thought to make a gift. Maybe I was just born in the wrong time? I don't think so!


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## bjgrey39 (Aug 28, 2011)

Debbie J said:


> I hate that so many of you have had this happen to you, too. Some people are just to greedy. Like I said in an earlier post, I would rather have a "home made" gift. To me, it really is the thought that counts. And it takes thought to make a gift. Maybe I was just born in the wrong time? I don't think so!


I think that there is a negative attached to the word "homemade" Maybe we need to begin saying "Hand Made" I always treasure any handmade gifts. My mother taught me that. She always loved it when I made things for her. I wish she were still around for me to knit for.


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## Debbie J (Feb 9, 2011)

bjgrey39 said:


> Debbie J said:
> 
> 
> > I hate that so many of you have had this happen to you, too. Some people are just to greedy. Like I said in an earlier post, I would rather have a "home made" gift. To me, it really is the thought that counts. And it takes thought to make a gift. Maybe I was just born in the wrong time? I don't think so!
> ...


BJ, I do understand! I would love to make my grandmother something also. And mother. I miss them both so much. I do like Hand Made so much better! After all, we are making things by hand! :-D


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## jay macey (Sep 14, 2011)

yes ladies they do tend to think that it's not good enough, but they know where to come when they want your skills, had so much of this, but dare you ask for payment! they are so just annoying.
As they have no idea the time, effort and tender loving care that goes in to making a beautiful handmade item. shame on them


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## sbruyette (Jan 20, 2011)

Could it be that was her way of saying how much she liked your socks? I have made a statement like that to show someone I appreciated the wonderful product they had made.


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## Debbie J (Feb 9, 2011)

Hummm, A thought here . . . We could always make a "tag" for our hand made items with

This product hand made by Fiber Artist ______________.
Your name here
It takes ???? hours to create this _________________.
Name of Item made

What do all of you think of this idea?


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## StitchDesigner (Jan 24, 2011)

Debbie J said:


> Hummm, A thought here . . . We could always make a "tag" for our hand made items with
> 
> This product hand made by Fiber Artist ______________.
> Your name here
> ...


Just add: Price to Make Item____________.


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## StitchDesigner (Jan 24, 2011)

I had someone approach me last night at church. She wanted me to make her some toe socks. Since she is very low income it would be on my ticket. The problem: I'm very low income, too. Hubby hasn't found work in 9 years. Me, 8. So, I can't do what I would do if I could afford to. Plus, by the time I got them finished it would be spring here. LOL


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## Judy M (Feb 17, 2011)

Price should include cost of yarn, buttons, etc. and X number of hours of labor at the minimum wage.

No, wait, that should be skilled labor wage -- how to price it?


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## Babsmim (Mar 7, 2011)

Christi said:


> Do you all think it is bad if I volunteer my time to make stuff for my infant classroom at the daycare I work for such as washcloths and soft pillows for the kids to play on in the little cubbie nook I have in my classroom? My boss said he would pay for the yarn I buy plus the polyfiberfill. I didn't think it was bad.....I kind of like doing it as I am also able to work on it during working hours.


I think your very kind, plus you'll get to see your projects in use!!


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## bizzy (Apr 29, 2011)

Or you could have done them on HER time, put all your regular work aside and sit at work and knit potholders for the next month. Then she may realize the time invested on your part.


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## boring knit (May 9, 2011)

clayk said:


> i cross stitched a kitchen scene for someone for xmas, that had a country kitchen.on 28 pt. stitch. very time consuming.
> was told, "why don't you take this back, you seem to like this homemade stuff"


Oh how rotten of that person. Still nasty is as nasty does, it'll come back to her somehow.


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## boring knit (May 9, 2011)

Thank you all for all the comments on here. Made me feel so much better. While I'm at it, thank you all for being here and being a constant source of inspiration to me. I am currently enjoying making my new found joy - granny square afghans, discovered on here. jeannie x


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## Debbie J (Feb 9, 2011)

boring knit said:


> clayk said:
> 
> 
> > i cross stitched a kitchen scene for someone for xmas, that had a country kitchen.on 28 pt. stitch. very time consuming.
> ...


I agree on the rotten and nasty part! I have a kitchen towel that has counted cross stitch on it. It is 2 cows and it says "Love one an utter". A dear friend of mine made this for my husband and me for Christmas one year. I love it! It stays out all year. And it is not to be used! LOL She also did a large piece that she framed and I have that hanging in my hall. I do love these things! I have done the counted cross stitch and it is hard. I can't see to do it anymore. =( These things are treasures to me!


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## sandyann (Jul 5, 2011)

They don't realize how much time it really takes to make things. I invest my time either for love or money, so if I don't love them its money "pay me". I mean love, not I just met you yesterday. Volunteering is Love!


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## mavisb (Apr 18, 2011)

I wouldn't have time to knit for other people as I have a brand new granddaughter the first out of nine grandchildren. My little Beau wants me to make him a jacket with a hood that I made for him earlier and he loved it. Everyone in my family hated the colour it was a lovely bright gold/yellow colour in a fishermans rib, but he loved it and loves wearing hand knits, I hope it lasts, he is only three. So with nine grandchildren I don't get a lot of time.


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## Suzannet (Jul 21, 2011)

Just had a workmate ask me to make her husband an animal hat 'as a joke' - she said he wouldn't wear it - she just wanted to make him laugh - what the .......


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## wilbo (Feb 16, 2011)

Give her a price--yarn, pattern, minimum wage (not at all what you are worth, but let's just say as the least she would have to pay). If it took 3 hours to make, we're looking at around $50. See if that makes her laugh. Just sayin'...........


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## Suzannet (Jul 21, 2011)

wilbo said:


> Give her a price--yarn, pattern, minimum wage (not at all what you are worth, but let's just say as the least she would have to pay). If it took 3 hours to make, we're looking at around $50. See if that makes her laugh. Just sayin'...........


It made me laugh! Thanks


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## nbaker (Jan 30, 2011)

StitchDesigner said:


> I had someone approach me last night at church. She wanted me to make her some toe socks. Since she is very low income it would be on my ticket. The problem: I'm very low income, too. Hubby hasn't found work in 9 years. Me, 8. So, I can't do what I would do if I could afford to. Plus, by the time I got them finished it would be spring here. LOL


Let her know she can get those at Walmart for much less than it would cost her to pay you to make them.


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## maysmom (Sep 22, 2011)

Christi, 
I knit caps for the local newborn intensive care unit. I call it my "mindless knitting" as I don't need to keep referring to a pattern and can take them along to dr appts, etc. So long as you enjoy making your things and don't feel beholden, keep it up and bless you for thinking of others.

Karen


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## maysmom (Sep 22, 2011)

Amber,
Would you have a simple pattern for a bias scarf? I had made my daughter one years ago, and I have the basic part down. (K 2 tog at the beg of row, yo at the end, etc. What I can't remember/figure out is how to finish the "end point" of the scarf. This almost 58 yr old brain is getting tired, I guess!

Thanks,
Karen


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## maysmom (Sep 22, 2011)

Some moms might not want handknit or crocheted items if they know that the things might need to be handwashed. That's why I use synthetic fiber yarn for baby or kid stuff. And, I only give things I've made to people that I know will appreciate them. Like everyone says, time and yarn costs are not cheap!

Karen


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## maysmom (Sep 22, 2011)

I would love to learn how to tat with a shuttle--guess a visit to YouTube is in order--

Karen


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## inishowen (May 28, 2011)

Suzannet said:


> Just had a workmate ask me to make her husband an animal hat 'as a joke' - she said he wouldn't wear it - she just wanted to make him laugh - what the .......


I mentioned before, that I was asked to knit a men's Xmas jumper "for a Joke". I honestly don't think the person who asked knew it would have taken a long time to knit and would have cost a fortune in yarn.


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## MaryCarter (Oct 17, 2011)

I know how sad that made you feel.......
While having a telephone conversation with one of my nieces I found out that my sister in law had been opening my gifts to my nieces, and then not giving them the jewelry or knitted toys I had made for them over the years. My niece thought that I had never sent anything to her or her sister. They were both old enough to know not to eat the beads. After our last visit I sent a thank you card because they put us up at short notice during a cyclone. I got an abusive email from my niece (12 year old) saying that my card had upset her mother, and not to contact them again. I was raised in a poor family, while my sister in law was raised in a wealthy family. Even though I am now well off I still prefer home made to Gucci, and people like me to people like her.


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## Debbie J (Feb 9, 2011)

Mary, I have to agree! Some people have no appreciation for the thought that goes into hand made gifts. They seem to think that the $$$ are the most important instead of the thought behind it.

I know what you mean about growing up poor. Gifts from the poor, mean more to me than diamonds or gold!


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## StitchDesigner (Jan 24, 2011)

We have Secret Sisters at our church. I can't afford to go to a store and buy a $1.00 card to say, "You're Loved." I did write a note in Script Font and print it out. My sis loved it, because she knew someone cared. Oh, do ever need more like her!


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## littlemissxmas (Oct 1, 2011)

Debbie J said:


> Mary, I have to agree! Some people have no appreciation for the thought that goes into hand made gifts. They seem to think that the $$$ are the most important instead of the thought behind it.
> 
> I know what you mean about growing up poor. Gifts from the poor, mean more to me than diamonds or gold!


If they actually took a look at the cost to make many of these beautiful projects you all are making. They would quickly see that it is much more expensive then it is to buy a cheap sweater or something that will only last a few wearings. The workmenship is second to none and it comes with so much love. Those who do not apperciate or enjoy these wonderful gifts are just crazy and have no clue what they are missing.

We grew up poor but in many ways we were richer the the person who has the most money in this Planet. Our parents grew our veggies and fruits and things. Every thing we had was fresh and made from scratch. Our conforters and things were made by our mother. Our mothers did the canning along with everything else. No amount of money can give that kind of love and dedication to a child and family members. Its ok I would rather know I was loved and happy then rich and miserable.


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## Debbie J (Feb 9, 2011)

Little Miss, you are correct! My main point is that it isn't the cost that counts with me. 

We grow our own vegetables when possible, and I can them. I canned 179 pints this summer. I haven't made any comforters or quilts bet, but I do want to. I also want to make my grandchildren each an afghan for their beds. But with 15, I guess I better get started NOW. LOL I am 60 and don't know when I will leave this earth. I do want to leave a legacy for them.


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## littlemissxmas (Oct 1, 2011)

I agree with you there. It shouldn't matter. I also want to leave my Grands with something they can pass on as well. I just need to get the things to do that as I am not that far behind you in age. My only problem is trying to figure out how many kids my kids are going to have after I am gone. Dont want anyone to be left out ya know lol.


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## mavisb (Apr 18, 2011)

I don't know that England has a Walmart over there. So for the lady in Devon, UK if you and your husband have not worked for eight and nine years respectively, I can sympathise with you as neither of you would get much money. My eldest sister lives in London and lives on a pension so she tells me what the rates of pension etc are. If this person wants things knitted you certainly need to charge her for the wool and time taken to knit the items. I was asked coming home by train if I took in knitting and what did I charge, I told her it depended on what was knitted and how much time it took, she read her book for the rest of the journey.


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## valj46 (Jul 25, 2011)

we do have Walmarts over here under the name of Asda,but i haven't seen a crafts section there like the Walmarts in the U.S, when i visited my sister over there i bought material for patch work as much as i could get in my case ,its so much cheaper in the states than over here ,1 or 2 dollars a yard for the same quality we pay £8 to £10 per metre


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## stitchedhen (Nov 13, 2011)

I know what you mean. I have a motherinlaw that has such an elitist attitude. Never again will I create anything handmade for her as she looks down on handmade items and regards such things as shabby.


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## mavisb (Apr 18, 2011)

I am sorry Stitchedhen that your motherinlaw does not encourage you with your crafts. I tried to teach my daughter in law how to knit but she gave up without giving it a real go I wished I could have taught her to keep on with attempting to knit but she wouldn't.


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## stitchedhen (Nov 13, 2011)

Thanks mavisb. I still keep on stitchin'. Tried to instill the spirit of knitting or crochet in my son's girlfriend but she wouldn't hear of it; tried to teach a friend and even gave her some yarn and a crochet hook to take home and practice--to no avail; another friend had no interest outside of reading.
I've found that many women have no interest beyond cooking and cleaning. When I bring up the subject of knitting, crochet, embroidery or some other needlearts I pretty much stand alone. Glad to have a forum like this one to share my interests.


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## Wheatie (Sep 19, 2011)

What you volunteer to do yourself is different from unrealistic requests.


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## Wheatie (Sep 19, 2011)

Rudeness is Rudeness in any form or shape. If you recieve something that doesn't work for you say Thank You anyway and do not make a big issue of it. Ungratefullness is the other persons problem, not yours.


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## courier770 (Jan 29, 2011)

I've really only come across 2 incredibly rude people who requested that I knit for them. My former daughter in law, who while I was in the midst of packing to move 1,200 miles wanted me to knit a sweater for her mother. This may be partly why she is my FORMER daughter in law. Then there was a coworker who saw me knitting a sweater on my break. She asked me how much the yarn cost, I told her, then she said "well I'd pay you that to knit me one". I leveled a look at her and said "I don't knit for free!". She had the gall to say "why not, it's just a hobby?". I never spoke to her again!


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## Debbie J (Feb 9, 2011)

I don't know what to say about the co-worker saying that knitting is JUST a hobby. In a sense, it is to me, but it is also my stress reliever. It is so much more than JUST a hobby. With me, it is almost an obsession. LOL

I wonder what she would say if you told her that her job was JUST a job. OR her life is JUST a life.


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## Wheatie (Sep 19, 2011)

Individusls who do not knit, crochet,quilt,paint or any other kind of hobby or craft have no idea of the time, skill, etc that can go into the project if you do it well. That is their problem, not mine, but they rarely recieve anything I have made.


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## leannab (Sep 7, 2011)

courier770 said:


> I've really only come across 2 incredibly rude people who requested that I knit for them. My former daughter in law, who while I was in the midst of packing to move 1,200 miles wanted me to knit a sweater for her mother. This may be partly why she is my FORMER daughter in law. Then there was a coworker who saw me knitting a sweater on my break. She asked me how much the yarn cost, I told her, then she said "well I'd pay you that to knit me one". I leveled a look at her and said "I don't knit for free!". She had the gall to say "why not, it's just a hobby?". I never spoke to her again!


I can't believe that people could be so rude and cheeky, I'm flabbergasted by people. Thank goodness the people on here are great. I think that's because we all craft in some way and we know how long everything takes.
Leanna x


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## courier770 (Jan 29, 2011)

People can be incredibly rude. One of my old class mates had two different color eyes...lovely girl and very attractive. Everywhere she went. some idiot would say "do you know you have two different color eyes?". She worked out a routine that embarrassed them: she'd gasp, grab her face and say "what? what? They were the same when I left the house" and then start wailing! After she got them good and upset, she'd admit to knowing that her eyes were different and then tell them how crass they were for mentioning it. Then there were the people who would stare at her, looking from one eye to the other...yes people can be very rude.


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## Debbie J (Feb 9, 2011)

Good for your classmate! She sounds like a winner to me! Who cares if her eyes were different colors? At least she had two and could see!


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## Dsynr (Jun 3, 2011)

ScotKnits said:


> When I was leaving work one day a lady who was waiting to pick someone up from my workplace said "hey, you knit a lot don't you? I said yes and she asked me to knit her a sweater - she wanted me to bring some pattern books so she could choose one. I told her I didn't have time to knit the sweater as I'm working on projects for my family. She said but I'm you're best friend (I don't even know her except to say hello). I told her If I had time to knit a sweater it would cost around $150.00 for the yarn & my time. She said you must have lots of yarn you can use and I'm not paying you for knitting me a sweater - since we're friends you should do it for free!!


I hope you recommended a good psychiatrist for her. She obviously needs one.


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## Dsynr (Jun 3, 2011)

CinDeeLooWho said:


> Christi- Volunteering is wonderful and generous, I wish more people would volunteer to do wonderful and meaningful things for others. What isn't right is some people's "expectations" that you would be willing to drop everything to accommodate their whimsical orders with no regard to your own needs and schedules. That's not to mention that some people must believe that yarn falls freely from the yarn tree in the backyard, and is clueless about the time and commitment involved in creating a project.


You, too? 
And I have to fertilize my yarn tree with big bucks (for me) to get that yarn to fall off it, too! And for SOME STRANGE REASON it falls into some store and NOT into my hands. And then, the garment absolutely refuses to knit itself. The nerve! I have to cast on and work every stitch! I don't understand it, do U? And I'm supposed to do all this for somebody I don't know, for free, and be glad to have the chance. What's wrong with this picture?
Better yet, what's wrong with people to make them act that way? I would never ask a stranger something like that or ask a person who was practically a stranger, like a co-worker, either!


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## Dsynr (Jun 3, 2011)

Christi said:


> Do you all think it is bad if I volunteer my time to make stuff for my infant classroom at the daycare I work for such as washcloths and soft pillows for the kids to play on in the little cubbie nook I have in my classroom? My boss said he would pay for the yarn I buy plus the polyfiberfill. I didn't think it was bad.....I kind of like doing it as I am also able to work on it during working hours.


Good on U and your generous heart! The difference is that this is something U WANT TO DO and U have volunteered your time, talent, and effort. What we are angry about is the covetous, selfish ignoramuses who think they can bully us into doing all that is involved in crafting special items. And then they act like THEY are doing US a favor by ALLOWING us to serve their desires.
I applaud your generosity and I am sure there will be wonderful results and consequences from your project.
U get a great big KP pat on the back! Take a bow! (Applause inserted here---clapping)


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## courier770 (Jan 29, 2011)

Christi, you are really lucky to have a boss willing to purchase the materials to go with your generous offer to make the items! That sounds like a "win - win" situation.


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## mavisb (Apr 18, 2011)

I now have a little granddaughter and when she is old enough I hope you will take up knitting. We have a weekly book called the Art of Knitting and I am buying that as I was trying to teach my grandsons but the boys lose interest pretty quickly, but I hope my little TJ will take to knitting.


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## Dsynr (Jun 3, 2011)

MoMo said:


> When we first got married ( and I was knitting) my DH always " politely" refused anything that I sugguested I make for him. he is from the Azores, and the family was so poor that they had to borrow shoes to make his first Communion in, They routinely went to school barefooted, and they learned to associate hand made with " homemade".It was the mark of distinction that set them apart as being "poor" from those whose family could provide something store-bought, which always seemed to be the bright star, unattainable and shining in the distance. Once the difference was pointed out to Joe, he didn;t chamge his mond immediately, but,over the years has accepted, worn and ASKED ME TO MAke him various things... I think it is a matter of perception. and there is a world of difference ( not only in the stitching, but socially as well) between homemade and handmade. MoMo


AND sometimes, people just don't realize the level of creativity and skill you bring to your projects. The Big Guy was leery of allowing me to make his shirts at first; and when I started making an afghan for him, he gave it a jaundiced look out of the corner of his eye. 
A few hand-embroidered shirts and a nice, warm afghan big enough to cover his six-foot frame from neck to toe and "manly-colored" and he tiptoes around trying to check up on the new sweater without getting caught. He's so cute, trying to sneak peeks! Giggle.....giggle.....giggle.....


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## Dsynr (Jun 3, 2011)

Debbie J said:


> Mary, I have to agree! Some people have no appreciation for the thought that goes into hand made gifts. They seem to think that the $$$ are the most important instead of the thought behind it.
> 
> I know what you mean about growing up poor. Gifts from the poor, mean more to me than diamonds or gold!


Ah-ah-ah-ah-men!!!!


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## Dsynr (Jun 3, 2011)

Bekaknits said:


> how about the nerve of my Brother who through a project at me and said it will give me something to do.
> 
> i was not employed at the time, but my husband and i ran a roofing business. i had three children under 8, a house to keep, and dinner on the table every night.
> 
> ...


 And you could have attached the mop to your back and done the floors while you were doing the rest..... Um-Hmm.


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## Dsynr (Jun 3, 2011)

Debbie J said:


> wilbo said:
> 
> 
> > I had a friend who was given several pairs of slacks from her sister. She asked me to hem them because "if I take them to the cleaners, they will charge me $12.00 per pair."
> ...


I had a home sewing business when the kiddles were too little for me to work away from home. I was always getting asked to "work" for folks who didn't want to pay and criticised the work seven ways from Sunday in an attempt to get out of paying. 
I had to take one woman to court to get PART of the price of an entire wedding---bride, 3 bridesmaids, matron of honor, and mother of the bride. 
I NEVER DID get all of what she owed. And then she bad-mouthed me saying that was SOME WAY TO TREAT A FRIEND. She forgot to mention that I had cut my price by a third for her and told her she could pay in installments without interest. 
I got to the place I would not hem a handkerchief unless I was paid up front. Didn't have too many customers---just the serious ones who paid for what they got---custom-designed and sewn items.


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## Dsynr (Jun 3, 2011)

StitchDesigner said:


> clayk said:
> 
> 
> > i cross stitched a kitchen scene for someone for xmas, that had a country kitchen.on 28 pt. stitch. very time consuming.
> ...


And manners that would embarass a hog!


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## leannab (Sep 7, 2011)

Dsynr said:


> Debbie J said:
> 
> 
> > wilbo said:
> ...


Had the same with a wedding dress, think I posted on this forum earlier. Took the woman to court but she moved to tasmania, she never had any intention of paying, ever!!!!
Leanna x


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## annabell (Jun 21, 2011)

Its not bad if you enjoy it, and you have a pretty nice boss to boot!!


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## Cheryl_K (May 23, 2011)

Sorry, I haven't had time to read through all the replies for this thread, but I will... someday LOL. I know now just from reading what I have (14 pgs) that I'm not alone in feeling used and abused by people who don't have the first idea what they're asking us to do! Anyway, I have to share one of my "stories" briefly: I was crocheting hats for my neice who was making handmade flower clips for the hats, and selling them at various craft fairs. We were both asking way too little for our work. I won't even mention what I was receiving in compensation, because I'm embarassed  . Anyway, my neice had a person approach her at one of these shows and order a hat and scarf in a special color as a Christmas present two weeks before! Like a dummy, I did it, and accepted one other "special assignment" from her before finally telling her I couldn't work with her anymore.


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## courier770 (Jan 29, 2011)

It's not just us, I have a friend who is an attorney. The minute he tells someone that's what he does for a living, oh boy does he get nailed for free legal advice. People are just pretty "nervy" these days.


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## lifeline (Apr 12, 2011)

courier770 said:


> It's not just us, I have a friend who is an attorney. The minute he tells someone that's what he does for a living, oh boy does he get nailed for free legal advice. People are just pretty "nervy" these days.


I think that is true of many jobs that people do. My husband is a general Handyman- fixes things inside and out, painting, decorating etc. The amount of people who think they can have his services for free or at knock down rates :thumbdown: What they don't realise is that is how we pay the rent. He started doing that when he lost his job 5 years ago.


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## courier770 (Jan 29, 2011)

No doubt that sanitation workers are asked to drop by and pick up trash for free, or undertakers are asked to trim their fees.


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## Debbie J (Feb 9, 2011)

My husband used to work for the Union Pacific Railroad and was asked to get a ticket "fixed". They guy that wanted it done had run around the gates when they were down. Luckily he didn't get hit by a train.

They used to call it near misses when that would happen and they would get too close to a car for comfort. Then they called them near hits. This happened numerous times every day. It got to where the troopers would not ride on a train. They got too scared.


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## StitchDesigner (Jan 24, 2011)

And for the other side of the coin.

I was talking to a group of ladies at church. I mentioned that I could not afford the prices at any salons to get my hair cut. A lady who was "ease-dropping" told me to come over to her house, she was an ex-beautician and she would cut my hair for me. No mention of money. So I did. When she was done she told me she expected to be paid! So much for, "Do unto others..."


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## courier770 (Jan 29, 2011)

Beware of eaves droppers, lurking in church!


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## courier770 (Jan 29, 2011)

I do have a good story though. This summer a problem arose with the rear passenger window in my Jeep Liberty..it wouldn't go up or down (motorized) and it kept slipping down an inch or two...a real problem during the rainy season! We have a mechanic at work and I asked him if he could look at it for me and offered to pay him if he could just get the window to stay up. I explained that I'm the only one who rides in the vehicle and never use the back seat. OK he takes my keys..comes back a few minutes later and says there's good news, there's a small, very inexpensive part that needs to be replaced and in the mean time he has the window locked into the "up" position. GREAT! I pull out my wallet and offer him $20.00. He didn't want to take it. I finally said "look on the way home, call your wife, tell her not to cook dinner and pick up some take out". He smiled and took the $20.00. Two weeks ago he comes to me asking if I took the Jeep into the dealer yet...uh no. "Good, I was digging around the junk yard and found a Liberty the same year as yours and got the part from the guy for a buck..gimme your keys!". I didn't have but a couple dollars on me and told him that. He replaced the part in just minutes and wouldn't take a dime from me. Said his wife really enjoyed the surprise Chinese food and egg rolls!

The repair would have cost me $100.00 or more at the dealer, I'd have been stuck sitting there for hours and nobody's wife would have gotten out of cooking dinner! Win, Win situation!


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## glacy1 (Sep 30, 2011)

courier770 said:


> I do have a good story though. This summer a problem arose with the rear passenger window in my Jeep Liberty..it wouldn't go up or down (motorized) and it kept slipping down an inch or two...a real problem during the rainy season! We have a mechanic at work and I asked him if he could look at it for me and offered to pay him if he could just get the window to stay up. I explained that I'm the only one who rides in the vehicle and never use the back seat. OK he takes my keys..comes back a few minutes later and says there's good news, there's a small, very inexpensive part that needs to be replaced and in the mean time he has the window locked into the "up" position. GREAT! I pull out my wallet and offer him $20.00. He didn't want to take it. I finally said "look on the way home, call your wife, tell her not to cook dinner and pick up some take out". He smiled and took the $20.00. Two weeks ago he comes to me asking if I took the Jeep into the dealer yet...uh no. "Good, I was digging around the junk yard and found a Liberty the same year as yours and got the part from the guy for a buck..gimme your keys!". I didn't have but a couple dollars on me and told him that. He replaced the part in just minutes and wouldn't take a dime from me. Said his wife really enjoyed the surprise Chinese food and egg rolls!
> 
> The repair would have cost me $100.00 or more at the dealer, I'd have been stuck sitting there for hours and nobody's wife would have gotten out of cooking dinner! Win, Win situation!


It's always nice when someone does something like that for no charge.. he sounds like a nice guy.. perhaps someone did something nice for him and he was 'paying it forward'. I was traveling across country and pulled into a rest stop to sleep for a few hours.. These guys tapped on my window and needed help jumping their battery. (FYI: I was not scared because I not only had a pit bull with me but also a .45 Glock handy, just in case.) I helped them and when they wanted to pay me for my help, I just told them to help someone else.. to 'pay it forward'.. I hope that they did.. but I did my good deed. 
Gloria


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## courier770 (Jan 29, 2011)

For all that we complain about "liberty takers" there are a heck of a lot of good people out there...God knows I've met my share of them in my lifetime.


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## Judy M (Feb 17, 2011)

As a teenager, a lady I had stayed with the previous summer knew I was having a hard time and needed to get away from home. So she took me in while I looked for a job, which took a couple of months. I got a job and stayed with her for several months until I went back to school.

A few year's ago daughter's friend was in a similar situation and he stayed with us for several months until he had a job and another place to live. I only moved a few miles away but he moved 2 states away. That was my pay forward.


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## PatriciaDF (Jan 29, 2011)

I have another "good" story. Several years ago, my husband and I were on our way up north in WI (in the evening after work) when we had a flat tire on our van. We tried changing it, but since by then it was dark and we had difficulty seeing and try as we might we could not get the wheel off the hub. Finally we decided to drive slowly to the nearest service station and found it was closed. We then proceeded to a shopping mall which also had a Fleet Farm store and a service center. It was almost 9 PM and just about closing time. But there were two young men there who graciously agreed to change the tire for us. It took them past their quiting time. We were charged for the service, but they could just have easily said they were closing and left us out in the night. I did write a letter to the manager telling him how great his employees were. So there are decent people out there! We were very grateful for their courtesy and help!


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## mavisb (Apr 18, 2011)

I have a great friend who is very thoughtful and I have only known her for just over a year. There are three women around the same age all have problems of one sort or another but we sit and do scrapbooking together and we are free to discuss whatever has upset us. This is not about being there for each other.


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## inishowen (May 28, 2011)

My daughter has just sold her house. Today she is donating the entire contents to a local charity. She's not well off but does not need all this stuff as she's moved into another furnished house. Her leather suite is only a few years old and she's still paying for it, yet she's giving it away. She believes in karma and that something good will come back to her.


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## Debbie J (Feb 9, 2011)

courier770 said:


> I do have a good story though. This summer a problem arose with the rear passenger window in my Jeep Liberty..it wouldn't go up or down (motorized) and it kept slipping down an inch or two...a real problem during the rainy season! We have a mechanic at work and I asked him if he could look at it for me and offered to pay him if he could just get the window to stay up. I explained that I'm the only one who rides in the vehicle and never use the back seat. OK he takes my keys..comes back a few minutes later and says there's good news, there's a small, very inexpensive part that needs to be replaced and in the mean time he has the window locked into the "up" position. GREAT! I pull out my wallet and offer him $20.00. He didn't want to take it. I finally said "look on the way home, call your wife, tell her not to cook dinner and pick up some take out". He smiled and took the $20.00. Two weeks ago he comes to me asking if I took the Jeep into the dealer yet...uh no. "Good, I was digging around the junk yard and found a Liberty the same year as yours and got the part from the guy for a buck..gimme your keys!". I didn't have but a couple dollars on me and told him that. He replaced the part in just minutes and wouldn't take a dime from me. Said his wife really enjoyed the surprise Chinese food and egg rolls!
> 
> The repair would have cost me $100.00 or more at the dealer, I'd have been stuck sitting there for hours and nobody's wife would have gotten out of cooking dinner! Win, Win situation!


Our son is a mechanic at a dealership. We do get him to come and look at our cars, if his Dad can't find out what is wrong. We don't "pay" them for his time, but when there is a sale on meat, we buy them up some and give to it to them. They would rather have this than money. We also invite them to come eat with us quite often. It, too, it a win - win situation.


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## Debbie J (Feb 9, 2011)

inishowen said:


> My daughter has just sold her house. Today she is donating the entire contents to a local charity. She's not well off but does not need all this stuff as she's moved into another furnished house. Her leather suite is only a few years old and she's still paying for it, yet she's giving it away. She believes in karma and that something good will come back to her.


She truly is paying is forward! I am proud of her and you! You taught her well! I also believe that "What goes around, comes around".


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## boring knit (May 9, 2011)

Well, I've just been catching up on this thread and have enjoyed all your comments. I really do agree though that there are many kind and thoughtful people - a lot of them on this sight - so many stories are posted on here of goodness. I do believe that what you give out you get back ten fold.


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## knitterbee (Jul 21, 2011)

My children have grown up/are growing up knowing to appreciate hand made items. I have kept every thing I have knit or crocheted for them for younger ones to use/wear. The grandchildren are now using them and receiving their own. 4 yr old gd put in her "order" a couple months ago for a new dress "in that very color" while I was knitting a new shell for me. 6 yr old gs wasn't sure if he wanted a sweater or dinosaur, when I asked him. I have been knitting all his life and he just this week called it "yarning". His little sister asked me when she was 2 what I was doing and asks about it all the time.
My older children received crocheted afghans from their great-grandmother when they were 12. I had 3 not 12 yet and Grandma was complaining about "wanting to go". I told her she couldn't, I had 3 children who didn't have afghans yet. That year she crocheted afghans for all the ggchildren not 12 yet and gave them to their parents. I'm glad she did, since she was gone before the youngest 2 turned 12. I knit an afghan for each of my children that were "full" sized when they got them, but lap size when they got older. They get an "adult size" when they turn 18. Daughter thought 8 was a good age for the grandchildren to receive an afghan from me. (Oldest turned 6 today, so I have 2 more years before that will start).

I am very glad they appreciate and enjoy the things I make, since it gives me something to make and someone to make for.


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## glacy1 (Sep 30, 2011)

knitterbee said:


> My children have grown up/are growing up knowing to appreciate hand made items. I have kept every thing I have knit or crocheted for them for younger ones to use/wear. The grandchildren are now using them and receiving their own. 4 yr old gd put in her "order" a couple months ago for a new dress "in that very color" while I was knitting a new shell for me. 6 yr old gs wasn't sure if he wanted a sweater or dinosaur, when I asked him. I have been knitting all his life and he just this week called it "yarning". His little sister asked me when she was 2 what I was doing and asks about it all the time.
> My older children received crocheted afghans from their great-grandmother when they were 12. I had 3 not 12 yet and Grandma was complaining about "wanting to go". I told her she couldn't, I had 3 children who didn't have afghans yet. That year she crocheted afghans for all the ggchildren not 12 yet and gave them to their parents. I'm glad she did, since she was gone before the youngest 2 turned 12. I knit an afghan for each
> of my children that were "full" sized when they got them, but lap size when they got older. They get an "adult size" when they turn 18. Daughter thought 8 was a good age for the grandchildren to receive an afghan from me. (Oldest turned 6 today, so I have 2 more years before that will start).
> 
> I am very glad they appreciate and enjoy the things I make, since it gives me something to make and someone to make for.


I have knitted blankies for 1/2 of my grandchildren. The new baby has not gotten hers yet, although I did make her a sweater. The oldest boy is too 'cool' to want one, the oldest girl has one nearly finished, but I 
still need to sew the strips together.


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## glacy1 (Sep 30, 2011)

My oldest granddaughter is chomping at the bit to get hers.


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## mavisb (Apr 18, 2011)

Go for it Christi if you want to make washcloths and soft pillows for your infant classroom, it will make it like home for the little ones.


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