# More silliness from the Ugly Otter



## Hazel Blumberg - McKee (Sep 9, 2011)

Grandma's Boyfriend

One day, a 9 year old boy went to visit his grandmother. Playing with his toys in her bedroom while grandma was dusting, he looked up and said: “Grandma, why don’t you have a boyfriend now that grandpa went to heaven?”
Grandma replied: “Honey, my TV-set is my boyfriend. I can sit in my bedroom and watch it all day long. The religious programs makes me feel good and the comedies makes me laugh. I’m happy with it as my boyfriend.”
Grandma turned on the TV-set, and the reception was terrible. She started adjusting knobs, trying to get it focus. Frustrated, she started hitting the backside of the TV hoping to fix the problem.
The little boy heard the doorbell ring, so he hurried to open the door, and there stood his grandpa’s old friend, now the grandma’s minister.
The minister said: “Hello, son, is your Grandma home?”
The little boy replied: “Yeah, she’s in the bedroom hittin' her boyfriend!”


Doctor's Office

A 75-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room at a doctor’s office and approached the desk.
The young receptionist asked, ‘Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?’
‘There’s something wrong with my privates’, he replied.
The receptionist became irritated and said, ‘You shouldn’t come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that.’
‘Why not, you asked me what was wrong and I told you,’ replied the man.
‘You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something,’ came back the annoyed receptionist.
Wanting to teach the old man a lesson, she suggested, ‘Why don’t you leave the room, come back again and do this the right way.’ The man turned around, walked out and came back again after a moment.
The receptionist smiled smugly and asked, ‘Yes??’
‘There’s something wrong with my ear,’ he stated loudly.
The receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had learned the lesson.
‘What is wrong with your ear, Sir?’ she asked.
‘I can’t pee out of it,’ he replied.


Is My Time Up

A 54 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table, she had a near death experience. Seeing God she asked, “Is my time up?” God said, “No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live.” Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in hospital and have a face-lift, liposuction, breast implants, and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair color, and brighten her teeth! Crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by ambulance. Arriving in front of God, she demanded, “I thought you said I had another 43 years?” Why didn’t you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?” God replied: “I didn’t recognize you!”

Hazel


----------



## Knitterlyk (Oct 9, 2019)

Hilarious! Thanks for making me laugh today!


----------



## run4fittness (May 22, 2011)

Giggle snort


----------



## Elizawh (Feb 1, 2019)

Time is up is Hilarious. Still laughing


----------



## midDinCA (Aug 29, 2014)

Too funny. I love it!


----------



## galbiez (Jun 20, 2017)

Loved the patient checking in


----------

