# Anyone ever knit a gift, only to have it sit in their drawer?



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

Hello! (This is a pet peeve of mine, I am curious if this has happened to anyone else...)

Last year for Christmas I made my bff 3 fun knitted dishcloths (nothing fancy, very basic). She doesn't have a dishwasher so I thought... perfect! Right?? WRONG! 

A while back I asked her how she liked her dishcloths. She said... "oh, I can't bring myself to use them they are so pretty" I think she was trying to be nice... but in all honesty, it kinda stung just a little bit.

Has this ever happened to anyone else? Knit something for someone that was intended to be used... only to have it sit in their drawer. 

just curious...

Kathy
=]


----------



## Buttons (Feb 11, 2011)

As I live out of state there is no way of me knowing. I just can imagine.


----------



## RitaMc (Sep 16, 2011)

Several years ago I gave my sisters and niece hand knitted dishcloths. No one used them for the intended purpose because "it was to pretty to use except when washing fine china". I took that as a compliment.


----------



## Ronie (Jan 21, 2011)

my daughter is using the lace shawl I made for her as a dresser scarf.. I wish she would of chose to wear it.. but if she wants to do this then its her gift and her choice. 
I think you should make your bff some more and say .. now you have drawer sitters and some to actually use.. please use them... they will last you forever... see what she says... if she is your bff you should know her tastes and she should be free to be honest with you..


----------



## laurelarts (Jul 31, 2011)

I try to make "functional" items in my knitting, my pottery and my glass, and have had the same comment made to me in all areas. I take it as a compliment. I gave so it is up to them how or if they use it.


----------



## Pudgypooh (May 31, 2011)

Same with my daughter. She will only "use" meaning to put on display, but don't anybody dare touch! the dishcloths, trivets and potholders I make when she has company. I think it is silly, but I know her well enough to know that she is sincere, and does truly like them. She appreciates my efforts more than I do!


----------



## Goldengate (Jan 30, 2013)

Many, many years ago, I knit my Father a sleeveless pullover. He was one to "keep it nice", so never wore it. However, both my husband and son enjoyed it and had good wear out of it.


----------



## DollieD (Mar 7, 2011)

queenofallcrafts said:


> Hello! (This is a pet peeve of mine, I am curious if this has happened to anyone else...)
> 
> Last year for Christmas I made my bff 3 fun knitted dishcloths (nothing fancy, very basic). She doesn't have a dishwasher so I thought... perfect! Right?? WRONG!
> 
> ...


Kathy,
I think I should tell you something about country folk.
After my father's death (my Mom had died 6 years prior)
'the girls' (we 7 sisters) were to go through everything and put in piles of keep, donate, etc. It was amazing to see how many gifts they had that had never been used, for the very reason your friend gave you. Little notes were tucked in saying, 'someday, we'll need this', or 'way too nice for everyday use'.
For that very reason, I use , wear, handle, anything that anyone is thoughtful enough to gift me. But I sincerely believe she did not mean to hurt you. She does feel that way. Just too nice!


----------



## Lafemmefran (Jan 21, 2012)

I have made myself one knitted dishcloth. I do not like it as a dishcloth because if I am wiping down a counter of table, it leaves too much moisture behind even if it has been well wrung out. I do use it as a pad for my glass carafe when making coffee. 

I will not make dishcloths for people for this reason.


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

RitaMc said:


> Several years ago I gave my sisters and niece hand knitted dishcloths. No one used them for the intended purpose because "it was to pretty to use except when washing fine china". I took that as a compliment.


Your comment made me laugh! Maybe that's what my friend is doing... waiting to use them for just the right occasion. I would take that as a compliment too! =]


----------



## Deb-Babbles (Mar 4, 2011)

I have a pot holder made by my Great, Great Aunt. It was never used. I have it on display in my china cabinet. 
Sometimes the things we make should be on display. Perhaps your friend should do this..


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

DollieD said:


> Kathy,
> I think I should tell you something about country folk.
> After my father's death (my Mom had died 6 years prior)
> 'the girls' (we 7 sisters) were to go through everything and put in piles of keep, donate, etc. It was amazing to see how many gifts they had that had never been used, for the very reason your friend gave you. Little notes were tucked in saying, 'someday, we'll need this', or 'way too nice for everyday use'.
> For that very reason, I use , wear, handle, anything that anyone is thoughtful enough to gift me. But I sincerely believe she did not mean to hurt you. She does feel that way. Just too nice!


I think you're right! She meant that as a compliment, I'm sure of it. It's not like they took me weeks to complete or anything either. No harm done. She obviously likes them. LOL


----------



## knitter360 (Apr 10, 2011)

Yes, this has happened to me, but I feel this way = once the gift is given, then it is no longer mine to tell how it is to be used. I had the enjoyment of making it and while making it I thought of the person receiving it and that brought me joy!


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

knitter360 said:


> Yes, this has happened to me, but I feel this way = once the gift is given, then it is no longer mine to tell how it is to be used. I had the enjoyment of making it and while making it I thought of the person receiving it and that brought me joy!


You are absolutely right. What you say makes perfect sense to me. Thank you for your comment! =]


----------



## PaKnitter (Mar 7, 2011)

Many of the dishcloths I knit for others never see a dirty dish but are displayed as a doily, trivet, on the wall.

Others use them for dishes and dusting rags and look for new ones each year. 

I enjoy knitting them and no strings attached on their use. 

I onced saw a crochet thread tablecloth draped on an old wood ironging board in a home and it was beautiful to see it displayed that way. It should have been a cover for a prim magazine.


----------



## yourmother306 (Nov 30, 2011)

That's exactly why I knit for charity.


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

Ronie said:


> my daughter is using the lace shawl I made for her as a dresser scarf.. I wish she would of chose to wear it.. but if she wants to do this then its her gift and her choice.
> I think you should make your bff some more and say .. now you have drawer sitters and some to actually use.. please use them... they will last you forever... see what she says... if she is your bff you should know her tastes and she should be free to be honest with you..


That's a great idea!! I'm so going to do this! Thank you for your comment. =]


----------



## Joy Marshall (Apr 6, 2011)

If this is their true reason, it is a terrible waste. It is like people who keep plastic wrap on their lamp shades. Or keeping nice underwear for a "nice" occasion. I say use and enjoy! Life is short.


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

yourmother306 said:


> That's exactly why I knit for charity.


That's a great idea! I'm going to do this too. That way I know whatever I make will get used. Very rewarding too. Thank you for your comment =]


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

Joy Marshall said:


> If this is their true reason, it is a terrible waste. It is like people wjp keep plastic wrap on their lamp shades. Or keeping nice underwear for a "nice" occasion. I use and enjoy! Life is short.


LOL!! That's what I thought. I mean we're talking about a couple of dishcloths for Pete's sakes. LOL!! I can whip her up some more in no time. Maybe I'll start a new tradition with her and make like 5 for her every Christmas! It won't take her long to get the hint I'm knitting them for her to USE. That's hilarious! Thank you for your comment =]


----------



## purl2diva (Feb 25, 2011)

My stepmother always saved things for"special" times which never came. We found many articles still in the boxes after she passed away.I use everything I'm given and enjoy it while I do. I also have not seen some of the things I've made worn by the recipients but I don't choose to let it bother me --their choice.


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

purl2diva said:


> My stepmother always saved things for"special" times which never came. We found many articles still in the boxes after she passed away.I use everything I'm given and enjoy it while I do. I also have not seen some of the things I've made worn by the recipients but I don't choose to let it bother me --their choice.


Yep, you're right. I shouldn't let it bother me. Once the gift has been given, it's up to them when/if they use it. Thank you for your comment. =]


----------



## Pocahontas (Apr 15, 2011)

You know what? I have to confess that I've done this very thing. My friend knitted me 3 dishcloths and gave them to me as a gift - folded, stacked on top of each other, and the bundle tied with a pretty gossamer ribbon. I couldn't bring myself to "undo" the pretty 'package' and use them for their intended purpose. I just love to look at them the way they are.


----------



## mirl56 (Dec 20, 2011)

I'm sure it happens more often then I know for sure about. 

I try to convince myself it's none of my business; that maybe I don't see the person often enough to know if/how often they use the item; that it's theirs to do with as they wish.


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

Pocahontas said:


> You know what? I have to confess that I've done this very thing. My friend knitted me 3 dishcloths and gave them to me as a gift - folded, stacked on top of each other, and the bundle tied with a pretty gossamer ribbon. I couldn't bring myself to "undo" the pretty 'package' and use them for their intended purpose. I just love to look at them the way they are.


That's funny! Sounds exactly like what my friend is doing. After reading everyone's comments, I feel silly now for letting it bug me. I made them for her, if she would rather look at them then use them... that's totally fine with me. According to other peeps on here, I should take that as a compliment. So that's what I'm going to do. =]

I appreciate your comment (and your confession!)


----------



## inishowen (May 28, 2011)

I don't always know if the baby garments I knit are used. Sometimes they're for distant friends and I have to hope they're being worn. However I do see my grandchildren wearing their garments.


----------



## Lrushefsky (Feb 6, 2011)

I am in the same boat. I made a lovely shawl for dil. She wore it one time and now keeps it in closet. I made it with love but she is afraid to wear it so from now on I will just buy her things and hope in time she will enjoy the shawl. I felt hurt that she is saving the hand knit for a special time. You only live once so enjoy now is my thought. I still love my dil just will not knit for her. Happy knitting Linda


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

Lrushefsky said:


> I am in the same boat. I made a lovely shawl for dil. She wore it one time and now keeps it in closet. I made it with love but she is afraid to wear it so from now on I will just buy her things and hope in time she will enjoy the shawl. I felt hurt that she is saving the hand knit for a special time. You only live once so enjoy now is my thought. I still love my dil just will not knit for her. Happy knitting Linda


It's a little heartbreaking isn't it? You put all that time in making something special only to have it hang in the closet. She probably sees this as preserving it and keeping it in good condition. When in actuality, you'd much rather see her wearing it and getting some use out of it.

Thank you for your comment!


----------



## Ronie (Jan 21, 2011)

I have to add... some things are taken a bit too far... We moved recently and my husband kept everything I ever gave him... some things needed to be tossed away years ago  but he kept them... so when we were packing together I told him... why are you keeping this toss it... he looked at me with surprise and said 'Really?' I said of course .. but he was raise where you kept nice things for 'Good' and never threw away a gift.. I could see the relief on his face when I picked things up and tossed them... I told him we have collected so many nice things together over the years and those were treasures... not some tattered hat or hanky...lol

I have to add... the sweetness of him keeping it all didn't get lost on me.. I have a thoughtful sweet man.. and it just gets better with every passing year. :thumbup:


----------



## Punkin51 (Sep 3, 2012)

But if you have given it as a gift, isn't it up to the recipient when and if they use/wear it? Is there a requirement that comes with the gift, must be used/worn for a certain amount of time? If you want to give something give it without restrictions, that's a true gift.


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

Punkin51 said:


> But if you have given it as a gift, isn't it up to the recipient when and if they use/wear it? Is there a requirement that comes with the gift, must be used/worn for a certain amount of time? If you want to give something give it without restrictions, that's a true gift.


You are right about that! I never thought of it this way, until you pointed it out - LOL! Thank you!

But... it sure warms the heart knowing your gift IS being worn or used regularly, rather than tucked away for years. Just sayin.... 

Thank you for your comment


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

Ronie said:


> I have to add... some things are taken a bit too far... We moved recently and my husband kept everything I ever gave him... some things needed to be tossed away years ago  but he kept them... so when we were packing together I told him... why are you keeping this toss it... he looked at me with surprise and said 'Really?' I said of course .. but he was raise where you kept nice things for 'Good' and never threw away a gift.. I could see the relief on his face when I picked things up and tossed them... I told him we have collected so many nice things together over the years and those were treasures... not some tattered hat or hanky...lol
> 
> I have to add... the sweetness of him keeping it all didn't get lost on me.. I have a thoughtful sweet man.. and it just gets better with every passing year. :thumbup:


Great story!! How sweet of him to keep all the "treasures" you've given him. He didn't want to hurt your feelings... so sweet!!!! Sounds like you are blessed with what I call... "a keeper". LOL!!

Thanks for sharing! =]


----------



## Punkin51 (Sep 3, 2012)

I agree wholeheartedly with you. It pleases me to no end to see my gifts being used and worn. My niece is so thoughtful and wears what I give her when we see each other. It makes me want to give her more.


----------



## PaKnitter (Mar 7, 2011)

Not to burst your bubble on knitting for charities but we have no way of knowing if all of the items are appreciated, tossed, used for their personal gifts to someone else or sold.

We give with our hearts and it is their's to do with as they please.


----------



## laurelarts (Jul 31, 2011)

PaKnitter said:


> Not to burst your bubble on knitting for charities but we have no way of knowing if all of the items are appreciated, tossed, used for their personal gifts to someone else or sold.
> 
> We give with our hearts and it is their's to do with as they please.


You are so right. On a personal note I gave some of my knits to a local charity and as I left I saw the staff going thru and picking out what they wanted and my knits never got to the ones who needed it. When I approached the manager about the situation he said that was one of the perks the staff had for volunteering their time. I have since learned it is the same at quite a few of them.


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

Punkin51 said:


> I agree wholeheartedly with you. It pleases me to no end to see my gifts being used and worn. My niece is so thoughtful and wears what I give her when we see each other. It makes me want to give her more.


Absolutely!! My sister and my niece are that way too. They are both soooo appreciative, and I've seen them out and about wearing something I made them. So sweet!! And you're right... it makes me want to make more things for them. <3


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

laurelarts said:


> You are so right. On a personal note I gave some of my knits to a local charity and as I left I saw the staff going thru and picking out what they wanted and my knits never got to the ones who needed it. When I approached the manager about the situation he said that was one of the perks the staff had for volunteering their time. I have since learned it is the same at quite a few of them.


Well... that's a little eyebrow-raising isn't it? I'm not sure how I would feel about that. On one hand, your items are obviously going to someone that WANTS it... but then, you didn't make that item for him/her! You made it for someone who might NEED it. Hmmmm....


----------



## Colorado knits (Jul 6, 2011)

I've probably told this story before. One year I gave our neighbor a couple dishcloths along with rest of her xmas gift. About a year later, she asked if I've learned to make anything worthwhile yet!!! Are ya kidding me!?!?

Then she told me that she wanted an afghan, told me what colors of yarn to buy, and then said, "Well you have almost a year to do it." 

I said I had never made myself an afghan.

Obviously, I never made her one more thing and never will.

I have family and friends who use the dishcloths, wear them out, and ask for more. That is how I want it!


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

Colorado knits said:


> I've probably told this story before. One year I gave our neighbor a couple dishcloths along with rest of her xmas gift. About a year later, she asked if I've learned to make anything worthwhile yet!!! Are ya kidding me!?!?
> 
> Then she told me that she wanted an afghan, told me what colors of yarn to buy, and then said, "Well you have almost a year to do it."
> 
> ...


Couldn't agree more! My sister will say something like... "Soooooo... do you have any more cotton yarn? (with a big cheezy smile)" I just laugh and tell her I'll bring her more dishcloths by the weekend. I'm only to happy to make her more cause I know she uses them. LOL!!


----------



## Roslyn17 (Apr 22, 2013)

Over the few months I have been a member of KP (and loving it) it never ceases to amaze me the comments about knitted dishcloths and I can't help but wonder why you all go to so much trouble for a dishcloth? Is it an American trend to use knitted dishcloths or is it a way of using up left over yarn/thread? What is the advantage of using one you have knitted? 
I buy Chux superwipes from the supermarket which are easily washed and when they get too grotty they are thrown out. 
I am wondering am I missing something here and if I should try a knitted dishcloth???
Roslyn (from Aust)


----------



## jenven (Dec 5, 2012)

I have knitted many things for my grandchildren including shawls that cost a lot of money just for the yarn but I always tell my daughter and daughter in law not to be 'precious' with them, use them and I am glad to see that they do.


----------



## Marie from NC (Mar 3, 2013)

queenofallcrafts said:


> Hello! (This is a pet peeve of mine, I am curious if this has happened to anyone else...)
> 
> Last year for Christmas I made my bff 3 fun knitted dishcloths (nothing fancy, very basic). She doesn't have a dishwasher so I thought... perfect! Right?? WRONG!
> 
> ...


----------



## Mary Cardiff (Mar 18, 2012)

Goldengate said:


> Many, many years ago, I knit my Father a sleeveless pullover. He was one to "keep it nice", so never wore it. However, both my husband and son enjoyed it and had good wear out of it.


When my son was about 2 years of age I made hin a aran sweater kept it for best,When I gave it away it didnt stay like that for long,


----------



## TRINITYCRAFTSISTER (Sep 28, 2011)

I have to say I have hardly ever seen anything I have knitted for anyone used but they always say they like it and as I don't see them that often I just trust they wear it.

My attitude is they know I took the time to make it with love and even if they do not wear it they have it near. How many presents have you bought for presents and they were not used. I also know that I made it with love am blessed accordingly.

My problem is when I make for a charity fair and nothing gets sold. Last Saturday there was a local Autistic Fair and I made ten baby/toddler size jackets and hats to match. Also dolly outfits and nothing sold. I was demoralized and disappointed to say the least. However, onward and upward these items are back at home with me and will go to another local charity that sends items out to children in Romania. All is not lost. It does take the cream off it though.

God Bless - keep knitting

Janet


----------



## cydneyjo (Aug 5, 2011)

I knit socks for my son and daughter-in-law and don't know if they were ever worn. However, they love the blankets I have made them, do use them, and ask for more.


----------



## cydneyjo (Aug 5, 2011)

Oh, and when my granddaughters pass down clothing, there is always something, or several things, well-worn and well-cared-for in the box that I have knit.Sometimes I don't even know which child I originally made it for, but now the youngest lives with me, so I'm getting to see everything again. And I just got one dress back for "mending."


----------



## jonibee (Nov 3, 2011)

Suggest that she use them as a "doiley or frame it for an unusual picture.


----------



## Reyna (Oct 24, 2012)

Lafemmefran said:


> I have made myself one knitted dishcloth. I do not like it as a dishcloth because if I am wiping down a counter of table, it leaves too much moisture behind even if it has been well wrung out. I do use it as a pad for my glass carafe when making coffee.
> 
> I will not make dishcloths for people for this reason.


Are you sure you made the dishcloth with 100% cotton yarn, or maybe a blend of cotton and a small percentage of acrylic? I have found the smaller dishcloths are easier to use, also the scrubbies. Just wondering.


----------



## Reyna (Oct 24, 2012)

While I was making my first dishcloth, my husband asked what I was making and when I told him what it was he scoffed at the idea! When it was done I gave it to him to use, and he loved it! I sent some to my sisters in South Africa, when I asked one how she liked them, she said it was too nice and she had put them in a drawer. I told her that was not what it was meant for, so next time I spoke to her she said they were on her kitchen counter, but not used. I asked her again another time and she said she had started using them and could I please send her some more!


----------



## laurelarts (Jul 31, 2011)

Roslyn17 said:


> Over the few months I have been a member of KP (and loving it) it never ceases to amaze me the comments about knitted dishcloths and I can't help but wonder why you all go to so much trouble for a dishcloth? Is it an American trend to use knitted dishcloths or is it a way of using up left over yarn/thread? What is the advantage of using one you have knitted?
> I buy Chux superwipes from the supermarket which are easily washed and when they get too grotty they are thrown out.
> I am wondering am I missing something here and if I should try a knitted dishcloth???
> Roslyn (from Aust)


I used to think the same thing about "wash cloths" until I used one, now it's the only thing I use. They seem to last forever, they look pretty and they exfoliate with very little effort.


----------



## Marny CA (Jun 26, 2011)

Once the gift is given it's the recipient's choice as to use, save, or toss.

My mom had lots of gifts that she kept for 'good' -- I actually have a pair of monogrammed pj's that my daughter sent to me a few years ago for Mother's Day - love them and have that 'save for good' mentality about them. Love looking at them, however. Silly me.

PS - my mom's birthday was the end of August 1984 and she went to the hospital the day after Labor Day - she had a bad cough. She was diagnosed with fast growing lung cancer, ever went home, died 4 weeks later.

The gifts became mine ... because I didn't know who gave her the gifts!! No one came forth. They were even more precious to me - and yes, I used what I could.

There was one knitted blanket that I made for a friend's second grandbaby and no one seemed to remember receiving it. So, I hope someone was able to use it. Yes, I checked for the correct address. <shrug>


----------



## Chezl (Mar 12, 2012)

laurelarts said:


> You are so right. On a personal note I gave some of my knits to a local charity and as I left I saw the staff going thru and picking out what they wanted and my knits never got to the ones who needed it. When I approached the manager about the situation he said that was one of the perks the staff had for volunteering their time. I have since learned it is the same at quite a few of them.


That is true. I volunteer at a charity store and that does happen. Also my boss won't sell items that won't sell and so many items get thrown out for rags or third world countries.


----------



## LBush1144 (Jan 23, 2011)

Before my father died, I knit him a vest type cardigan. I believe he wore it; I know that my husband who inherited it wore it till it didn't fit any longer.


----------



## laurie4 (Nov 3, 2011)

omg don't take offence i weave tea towels and give them as gifts and my husbands aunts did the same thing i went one day to visit one who lives about 14 hours away she had taken her tea towel out and gave it to me to dry dishes but unless these are washed first they do not dry dishes she was busted we had a good laugh about it but i told her you don't use it you don't get any more that is the rule so now they all use them i guess i better bring another load when i go visit i know they love them and they can't make them so as i said it is a compliment to you so don't take offence


----------



## Nanny Val (Oct 10, 2012)

Totally agree with DollyD... Its when my DGS askes for an Aran jacket (he was 4 years old) I knew it would not be worn because it would irritate his skin even though it was done in baby aran. I was right he was delighted with it BUT!!!! it was not worn. I would take this as a compliment from your friend.


----------



## rose haft (Jul 30, 2011)

My friends are using their dishcloths as coasters or hot pads - too pretty to use on dirty plates. Well, I made them in "their colors" & to match their kitchens personally. I'm glad they like them so much that they don't want to "use them up." I knitted them lacy scarves the next year which they LOVE to wear so I have my answer - they really like my knitting.


----------



## to-cath (Feb 27, 2013)

Dishcloths that I made for my brother and sister-in-law were ragged the last time I visited , so I know they use them.I'll happily make new ones on request!


----------



## thegrape (Nov 11, 2011)

Yeah I would take that as a compliment! Over 20 years ago I knitted a sweater set for my nephew. Never knew if he even wore it as they live 700 miles away. I was delighted to learn that the outfit was passed on to my niece and she did indeed wear it on her sons.


----------



## maggie.ames (Mar 26, 2013)

Yes, my Mother...


----------



## RobbiD (Nov 13, 2012)

queenofallcrafts said:


> Hello! (This is a pet peeve of mine, I am curious if this has happened to anyone else...)
> 
> Last year for Christmas I made my bff 3 fun knitted dishcloths (nothing fancy, very basic). She doesn't have a dishwasher so I thought... perfect! Right?? WRONG!
> 
> ...


Kathy, my mother had always dreamed of having a knitted "suit". So I found a pattern for a beautiful cabled skirt and matching saddle shoulder turtle neck. Took Mom shopping for the yarn and found a lovely light blue angora. knit my fingers to the bone, all while working 18-20 hour days and raising four kids. 
She *never* wore it. After a few years I asked her why. Her answer: "I don't want it to get dirty or stained! It's too pretty!" Gotta love her. When she passed away, 20 years later, it was still in a plastic bag in her dresser drawer. It was given to my oldest granddaughter, then in her early teens. It's still in the same plastic bag cuz Taylor doesn't want to ruin Nonny's suit. I guess it's hereditary! :lol: Taylor has used the quilt I made her for a high school graduation present, though. Even took it to college with her.

RobbiD


----------



## heffernb (May 30, 2011)

I have learned that when you make a gift for someone you take the chance that they might not like it. If they do, great! If not, you had fun making it. It is no different than when you buy a gift, except that you have invested a whole bunch of time when you make it. I certainly have received gifts I did not want or use, as I'm sure everyone else has.


----------



## RoxyCatlady (Mar 22, 2011)

queenofallcrafts said:


> Hello! (This is a pet peeve of mine, I am curious if this has happened to anyone else...)
> 
> Last year for Christmas I made my bff 3 fun knitted dishcloths (nothing fancy, very basic). She doesn't have a dishwasher so I thought... perfect! Right?? WRONG!
> 
> ...


Yes. The solution? Don't make them so pretty!!  Seriously, I suggest they be use as potholders if the recipient doesn't want to use them for washing up...


----------



## thumper2013 (Feb 7, 2013)

This happens all the time with my daughter in law. I make a lot for my grandchildren and NEVER see them wear them. It hurts me greatly. I've asked her and my son often please let the kids wear my things. Usually I have to find them and PUT them on the kids when I'm there. I don't get it.
The kids love to wear them too. I've pretty much stopped giving them items now. What's the point of time and work not to mention love I put in them.


----------



## kathimc (Jan 10, 2013)

I once read "Never knit something for someone unless asked to do so, as it will not be wanted nor appreciated". If you keep that in mind, you will never be disappointed when you give a knitted gift. Sort of "give at your own risk"!! We knitters think knit items are wonderful, but not everyone likes them. And of course, we think OUR knit items are the best!!!


----------



## Deefercrafts (Feb 26, 2013)

Oh yes this has happened to me, I used to knit lots of things for my grandkids (I have 10 ) I never saw them wearing any of them and asked why, never got a straight answer till I told one of their friends I always wondered. the reply was that they are "Only home Made and therefore are Cheapskate as they didn't cost me much to make." I told her the actual price of the yarn was immaterial and that I do NOT Use the cheap stuff they have obviously seen on sale and that it cost a LOT of hours to make the things. Also asked her to tell them.
The answer was my time was free so it didn't matter.
Basically if it didn't have a designer label in it wasn't good enough. Needless to say I no longer knit for them.


----------



## I.honey (Mar 24, 2011)

Brings to mind Irma Bombeck's "If I Had My Life to Live Over." For anyone who hasn't read it....a very short but meaningful way to look at life.


----------



## anetdeer (Jul 16, 2012)

Ladt year I made my elderly mom a scarf. She too says it's too nice to use...soooo..this oast winter whenever we would go out I grabbed the scarf on the way out and put it around her as she and her walker were leaving the house. Yes..I got "the look" but she used the scarf. :wink:


----------



## Reyna (Oct 24, 2012)

My mother knitted a sweater for my daughter when she was about 9 or 10. My daughter loved it, and wore it every day, until my mother told her it was only for "best". It was put into her drawer and never worn again.


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

Thank you everyone for all the responses to this post! I seems everyone has run into this scenario before and has mixed feelings themselves. It's true... my bff did NOT ask me to make her dishcloths, I just assumed she'd love them as much as I do. 

One ladies response to this post was: "If they don't ASK for a knitted item... don't make it". That makes good sense to me. I think I'll stick with this motto for a while. 

Oh and one more thing... there was another lady that posted maybe I should offer frames for these items and then she could "look" at them anytime. That's actually not a bad idea at all. I did specifically pick out yarns that match her kitchen... so they might look very nice in some sort of framed group. Good Idea!! 

Thanks again everyone!! Have a happy and safe 4th of July!!

Kathy


----------



## thumper2013 (Feb 7, 2013)

I too never get straight answers but my husband thinks that is also the reason why that there is NO designer label. My son used to ask me often to make things when they were first married. Since I made a lot for my own children over the years when growing up. But then after married it stopped. So I'm sure its his wife either she doesn't want hand made items or she's JEALOUS!!! I also made them an afghan that he asked me to make for them early in the relationship. I did a beautiful one. Some how it got a huge hole in it. He asked me to fix it, I couldn't it was so far gone. Again shows they do not appreciate items. I made one for my father 43 yrs ago and guess what, its still being used with no holes or usage problems. Oh well...


----------



## leslie41447 (Feb 7, 2011)

I knit my mother six adorable dish cloths... each has a symbol of nature... ladybug, flower etc. When I went to visit her none had been used... I was very disappointed!


----------



## simplyelizabeth (Sep 15, 2012)

My friend uses the many dishcloths I made for her as part of her country decorations. When she told me they were too pretty to use she also explained that if I made a couple of really ugly ones she would use those. I purposely made the ugliest ones I could think of and she absolutely loves them. Now she lets me know when she needs more and still insists that they have to be ugly for her to use them! It's a huge compliment to me!


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

Deefercrafts said:


> Oh yes this has happened to me, I used to knit lots of things for my grandkids (I have 10 ) I never saw them wearing any of them and asked why, never got a straight answer till I told one of their friends I always wondered. the reply was that they are "Only home Made and therefore are Cheapskate as they didn't cost me much to make." I told her the actual price of the yarn was immaterial and that I do NOT Use the cheap stuff they have obviously seen on sale and that it cost a LOT of hours to make the things. Also asked her to tell them.
> The answer was my time was free so it didn't matter.
> Basically if it didn't have a designer label in it wasn't good enough. Needless to say I no longer knit for them.


Well for Heaven's sakes!! Of all the nerve... that would have really rubbed ME the wrong way. I'm sorry you had to hear the truth like that, but at least now you know. I don't think I'd knit anything else for them even if they DID ask. LOL!!

I'm sticking with a new motto: "If they don't ask for it, don't knit it for them" Maybe you should try this too. Might save yourself a lot of time and heartache.

Hugs!!!

kathy


----------



## josiehof (Feb 28, 2011)

Hi,

Oh, yes. I don't make anything for anyone anymore. Just me. Well, making an afghan for neighbor girl getting married. Don't know if she will appreciate, but doesn't matter. I don't have to buy something.

josiehof


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

I.honey said:


> Brings to mind Irma Bombeck's "If I Had My Life to Live Over." For anyone who hasn't read it....a very short but meaningful way to look at life.


Sounds like a good book! I love when peeps refer a good book, I'll have to check this out at the library.

Thank you!


----------



## Linda (Jan 16, 2011)

I feel your pain. I made a pair of pig slippers for the sister in law. She collects flying pigs which are hard to find. The slippers were stuffed, and I made wings for them. They took forever to make and I really tried to do a good job. When I gave them to her, she really didn't even look at them. Put them right back in the bag and never said a word. That was 4 yrs ago and she has never said a word. She hasn't received anything since. It does hurt but what can you do


----------



## kittenosmall (Dec 31, 2012)

Hi, my 14 yr old daughter loves her two washcloths, uses them all the time and wants even more. It feels good to know your item is being used, your friend, janet


----------



## caat (Mar 6, 2012)

I made two beautiful sweaters from my grandsons three years ago, and never got an acknowledgment, or a picture of them wearing them (they don't live near us). No thanks, nothing. I also made each of them a sequin christmas stocking (lots and lots of work) .... same thing. No acknowledgment or thank you. Never will make them anything again.


----------



## I.honey (Mar 24, 2011)

not a book...perhaps more prose. not even a page long....google it.


----------



## to-cath (Feb 27, 2013)

When my niece's baby girl was an infant, I offered to make a smocked dress for her, not wanting to do all that work if it wouldn't be appreciated. My niece said she'd love it. The dress was duly made and presented, but was too big for the baby, at first. About 2 years later I asked for a photo of the little one in her dress, to which my niece replied "smocked dress? Refresh my memory!" Needless to say there have been no more hand made items for that child.


----------



## Needlesgalore (Dec 30, 2011)

My mother crocheted me a beautiful ecru bedspread and every time that she came to the house, she went to see it on my bed, even took pictures of it. That was 35 years ago and she has been gone for 32 years now. It is still on my bed every year from October to May and when I make my bed, I think of how much she enjoyed seeing it being used AND I think of her and the work that she put into it.


----------



## Nancyn (Mar 23, 2013)

Yes, made my grandson a sweater and my daughter wouldn't put it on him because he might spit up on it! She said it was too nice. I told her that is why it is made with washable yarn. Told her it does no good to sit in a drawer.


----------



## Needlesgalore (Dec 30, 2011)

I do feel a little hurt when I make something for someone and I never see it used. I have made many baby things for showers and newborn gifts and never see them on the baby. SO now I make things in the nontraditional colors that they put on babies and hope that they will get used. Times change I guess.


----------



## Deefercrafts (Feb 26, 2013)

queenofallcrafts said:


> Well for Heaven's sakes!! Of all the nerve... that would have really rubbed ME the wrong way. I'm sorry you had to hear the truth like that, but at least now you know. I don't think I'd knit anything else for them even if they DID ask. LOL!!
> 
> I'm sticking with a new motto: "If they don't ask for it, don't knit it for them" Maybe you should try this too. Might save yourself a lot of time and heartache.
> 
> ...


Definately, then I was asked why I don't knit anything for them now, obviously cause I don't love them. I said Love doesn't wear designer labels !! I did knit a cardigan for 1st Great Grandson, to give when I 1st saw him with the intention of asking what else she wanted (if anything) except I heard her say to her B Friend, look it's only a cardigan. so I explained -- then said that as she thought it was ONLY a cardigan then I wasn't going to waste my time and money. I didn't and I wont make any of them anything else


----------



## Mertsp (Jun 5, 2012)

I have just the opposite problem. All the things I have knitted are in MY drawer. I used to give knitted gifts to C and GC and they just went to goodwill, so I decided just to keep them. Maybe, some day when I'm gone they will want them.


----------



## Needlesgalore (Dec 30, 2011)

I always machine wash and machine dry everything before I give it to someone so that I know that it will withstand washing and drying. I also tell them that I have done this. I think that it softens and makes the article more finished looking.


----------



## debsu (Jul 26, 2011)

I understand. Many years ago, I made my mother a beautiful mile-a-minute afghan. I had it cleaned, blocked and gave it to her just because I love her. Twenty four years later while visiting her, she gave it back to me, never used. She said she just couldn't "dirty-up" something so pretty. She died two years later. Afterward, I found out she was giving her prized possessions to me and my sisters. I know she didn't use the afghan, but I also know she treasured and loved it! That said, if other relatives or friends do not use what I have made, I am with caat - they get nothing else. Maybe they just don't understand the time and effort used to make them a gift. If they can't be bothered using it, I can't be bothered making it!


----------



## cathyknits (Nov 1, 2012)

Always! I knit for myself now unless I get a request.


----------



## bebblady (Oct 15, 2012)

I once knitted afghans for two friends for housewarming gifts. They used them for pet blankets. Never again...


----------



## headlemk (Feb 16, 2011)

When my father died, I had to task of cleaning out his closet. I found and the shelves boxes and boxes of shirts (Christmas, birthday and father's day gifts) that he had "put away" until he needed them. Hanging on the hangers were totally threadbare (you could see through them) favorite shirts that he loved to wear "and they weren't worn out yet". :-( I also found a huge stash of paper napkins from Taco Bell, McDonalds, Burger King and KFC. If my mother lived to be 200 she'd never use all of these napkins.


----------



## misellen (Mar 8, 2013)

Many years ago, when my niece was a young fairly new housewife, my mother made and beautifully embroidered two aprons for her.
My niece never wore them. Instead she used them as wall hangings in her dining room. Mom was quite pleased that they were that well liked. Of course she was a 'saver' herself.


----------



## weaver1510 (Oct 2, 2011)

Whenever I make something for a gift (knitted, crocheted, sewed), I always instruct the receiver that it is theirs to do as they wish. If they don't like it-sell it or pass it on to someone who will use it. It is my love in the gift so send the love to someone who will use it. Just don't tell me about it and don't put in a drawer to be never seen again. It's then a waste of love and time.


----------



## misellen (Mar 8, 2013)

queenofallcrafts said:


> LOL!! That's what I thought. I mean we're talking about a couple of dishcloths for Pete's sakes. LOL!! I can whip her up some more in no time. Maybe I'll start a new tradition with her and make like 5 for her every Christmas! It won't take her long to get the hint I'm knitting them for her to USE. That's hilarious! Thank you for your comment =]


Are you sure that she actually likes to use dishcloths? I don't as I prefer my dish-mop. Rather than gifting her with more dishcloths, why don't you make some pretty facecloths and give them to her with some nice smelling soap for her bathroom?


----------



## sewn by susan (Jan 28, 2013)

Years ago I spent a lot of time and effort making an afghan for my sister and her husband. I never received a thank you, but I let that go. I wondered many times, though, why I never saw it out. 

Then one day I had to be in their dirty, dingy basement . . . where the dog slept. And there, wadded up on the dirty concrete floor was that afghan . . . where the dog obviously slept!

I remember to this day feeling as if someone had just punched me in the stomach. I just felt sick seeing my work in a heap on the floor--as a dog bed.

Never again!

Their children never learned to say thank you for a single gift I sent. I finally decided to simply send a check and then I would know if they received their gift or not. Finally I gave up on that, too. 

Lots of people these days think it's not important anymore to send a thank you. I always so appreciate those who do take the time and effort to acknowledge another's efforts and generosity--even if it's just a small gift.

OK--enough of my rant!


----------



## Pocahontas (Apr 15, 2011)

queenofallcrafts said:


> Thank you everyone for all the responses to this post! I seems everyone has run into this scenario before and has mixed feelings themselves. It's true... my bff did NOT ask me to make her dishcloths, I just assumed she'd love them as much as I do.
> 
> One ladies response to this post was: "If they don't ASK for a knitted item... don't make it". That makes good sense to me. I think I'll stick with this motto for a while.
> 
> ...


Happy "4th" to you Kathy! Thank you for this interesting thread. You have been a great moderator, replying with your thoughtful responses.


----------



## TeeneeBee (Jun 14, 2013)

Lrushefsky said:


> I am in the same boat. I made a lovely shawl for dil. She wore it one time and now keeps it in closet. I made it with love but she is afraid to wear it so from now on I will just buy her things and hope in time she will enjoy the shawl. I felt hurt that she is saving the hand knit for a special time. You only live once so enjoy now is my thought. I still love my dil just will not knit for her. Happy knitting Linda


This is an extreme compliment, don't be hurt by it. She treasures it too much to risk damaging it. It may be that she feels she won't have anything as nice again so needs to keep that one pristine. The answer to that is to get her to accept that it's okay to use because more nice things will come her way. That won't happen if you're upset so won't make her anything again. The problem is that she has given the item a very high value, not a low one.

I have a beautiful, unworn, Victorian cotton nightdress in my drawers. 
:roll:


----------



## misellen (Mar 8, 2013)

laurelarts said:


> You are so right. On a personal note I gave some of my knits to a local charity and as I left I saw the staff going thru and picking out what they wanted and my knits never got to the ones who needed it. When I approached the manager about the situation he said that was one of the perks the staff had for volunteering their time. I have since learned it is the same at quite a few of them.


Even volunteers like to have nice things and they were giving their time. At least you know that your work was appreciated and will be used.


----------



## TeeneeBee (Jun 14, 2013)

sewn by susan said:


> ...
> Their children never learned to say thank you for a single gift I sent. I finally decided to simply send a check and then I would know if they received their gift or not. Finally I gave up on that, too.


I've recently come to the same conclusion with a certain family.

Some people only attribute value to an item if it's bought and paid for and identical to everyone else's. More fool them! Give me a hand crafted gift, regardless of cost of making, resale value etc. - anytime.

I don't think that's the case here though. I honestly believe the friend is enjoying her gift in a different way than the giver expected.


----------



## Nilda muniz (Aug 14, 2011)

Yes, been there more than once.


----------



## Redhatchris (Apr 21, 2012)

Last Christmas I knit a beautiful hat and sweater, color coordinated with his red hair, for my 2 yr. old grandson. My daughter said it was too nice to send him to daycare in, it would get ruined. I only asked (50 times) for a photo of him in it. Think I got it yet? By the time she gets around to it, it won't fit. I have no desire to make anything else for them. too bad.


----------



## Carly SK (Jan 5, 2013)

Well, it turns out I, too, am one of those people who have saved beautiful gifts, such as special plates or bowls, because the thought of breaking them, or in the case of hand made gifts, getting them stained or worn out breaks my heart. Over the years I have looked at those gifts often and smiled, thinking of the individual who so lovingly selected or made the gift. As a knitter, I know the effort and love that goes into making an item for someone, and appreciate it so much I hate to ruin the item. When I give I gift to someone, I'm not always sure that the individual uses it, but I trust they know the love that went into the creation or selection.


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

RoxyCatlady said:


> Yes. The solution? Don't make them so pretty!!  Seriously, I suggest they be use as potholders if the recipient doesn't want to use them for washing up...


I'll remember that, next time I make her more. LOL! Maybe what I'll do... is make her so many she won't feel like she has to "save" each of them, and actually USE them. Hahaha!

So funny!
:-D


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

kathimc said:


> I once read "Never knit something for someone unless asked to do so, as it will not be wanted nor appreciated". If you keep that in mind, you will never be disappointed when you give a knitted gift. Sort of "give at your own risk"!! We knitters think knit items are wonderful, but not everyone likes them. And of course, we think OUR knit items are the best!!!


This is going to be my new motto! LOVE IT!!

At least then I'll no longer be wasting my time and money on something that may NEVER be worn or used! lol


----------



## rogietx (May 20, 2013)

Yes, I actually made an heirloom afghan, some knitted hats, booties, sweater, etc. for my grandson when he was born, (he is now 7) and have never seen any of them. Needless to say I am a bit unsure about making the sweater they have asked for. It does hurt a lot since so much time and love is put into these projects and they either linger in a drawer somewhere or are on some other children (which would actually be better) from having been given to charity.


----------



## Pleclerrc (Apr 17, 2011)

Take the "High Road" and believe that your BFF treasure your hand-made gifts and want to keep them in pristine condition to enjoy each time they open their drawer. Consider it a compliment. Patricia


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

Reyna said:


> My mother knitted a sweater for my daughter when she was about 9 or 10. My daughter loved it, and wore it every day, until my mother told her it was only for "best". It was put into her drawer and never worn again.


Dolp!! Well, that's a first! LOL She must have used really, really, REALLY nice yarn and just didn't want it to get stained or something.

Thank you for sharing your comment. It did make me LOL!


----------



## Gweneth 1946 (May 20, 2012)

Yes Kathy, I did the same thing. I received a few nice ones as a going away present about 14 years ago and put them in the bottom of a drawer for safe keeping. At the time not many people were making them and they were expensive at craft sales. So I put them aside. Well since then I have received quite a few and have started using them, but the first set are still at the bottom of the pile. My daughter taught herself how to crochet a few months ago and made me one and the design had large holes in it. I found that it worked better than the original close knit ones and it dries faster, so I have asked her to make me more. Heaven only knows when I will get around to using the ones at the bottom of the pile. Don't take it personally, your friends will get around to using them some day.


----------



## gdhavens (Jul 21, 2011)

Just a note about dishcloths. Dishcloths need to be made out of cotton to be used to wash dishes. Acrylic does not absorb water. I have a "scrubber" that was gifted to me and grease just sets on it, therefore I don't use it.

Cotton clothes are wonderful and last a long time. I keep meaning to make face cloths to try.


----------



## thumper2013 (Feb 7, 2013)

omg that's worse then not using them yikes! id get rid of the friends too


----------



## PaKnitter (Mar 7, 2011)

sewn by susan said:


> Years ago I spent a lot of time and effort making an afghan for my sister and her husband. I never received a thank you, but I let that go. I wondered many times, though, why I never saw it out.
> 
> Then one day I had to be in their dirty, dingy basement . . . where the dog slept. And there, wadded up on the dirty concrete floor was that afghan . . . where the dog obviously slept!
> 
> ...


Many quilters have told the same story of finding their quilts used as paint drop cloths, rugs at the doors, in the dog houses, as tarps for covering outdoors furniture and one person even saw her quilt on the side of the road as the family tossed it out the window on the way home. So sad and very disturbing behavior, I think.


----------



## grandmann (Feb 4, 2011)

I had a friend that I worked with she always wanted tiny dishcloths. So, whenever Christmas or her Birthday came along I put a little cloth in the card. We got together about a month ago. She said I would like if you consider making a sweater. I really don't like dishcloths they stink no matter what size you make them. 

She has another thought coming. I did make her two afghans who knows where they are at. But I know next time when she sees me working on something she will say "would you make me one". I don't think so.


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

leslie41447 said:


> I knit my mother six adorable dish cloths... each has a symbol of nature... ladybug, flower etc. When I went to visit her none had been used... I was very disappointed!


awww you obviously put a lot of thought into those, and of course... love in every stitch. And there they sit... in a drawer... just like mine ended up. It does sting a little doesn't it? I think in your case (and possibly mine...) she just really does LOVE them so much... she doesn't want to use them.

Maybe just assure her that they DO launder well, and if she does wear any out, you'll make her more. =]


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

simplyelizabeth said:


> My friend uses the many dishcloths I made for her as part of her country decorations. When she told me they were too pretty to use she also explained that if I made a couple of really ugly ones she would use those. I purposely made the ugliest ones I could think of and she absolutely loves them. Now she lets me know when she needs more and still insists that they have to be ugly for her to use them! It's a huge compliment to me!


What a great story! Thank you for sharing

:-D


----------



## Beve (May 5, 2012)

I am guilty of this, too! My aunt made some beautiful embroidered dish drying cloths for me and I just didn't want to get them spotted so they are on display instead of being used for the purpose she intended. I am using them today!


----------



## gr8 (Jul 4, 2013)

some times we just don't like things other people like and visa versa. a friend made a beautiful granny square afghan for her daughter and family. when she went to visit she found they were using it as the dog's blanket in the back of the station wagon. she was crushed but decided she would never make anything for anyone - except herself - ever again. I stopped making anything for anyone except babies and me when my sister told me " your taste is in your mouth." I do love to make unique baby items and sell them at the senior center.


----------



## ElyseKnox (Sep 16, 2011)

queenofallcrafts said:


> Hello! (This is a pet peeve of mine, I am curious if this has happened to anyone else...)
> 
> Last year for Christmas I made my bff 3 fun knitted dishcloths (nothing fancy, very basic). She doesn't have a dishwasher so I thought... perfect! Right?? WRONG!
> 
> ...


Personally, I have found the fastest way to disappointment is to make assumptions or have expectations of others--even more so when it comes to giving gifts. I so want the recipient to feel the same way about it that I do. That being said, my own peace of mind is at its best when I give the gift and completely divorce myself from my expectations. "Using" a gift may mean something else completely to the receiver.


----------



## thumper5316 (Oct 7, 2011)

I have knit my DH two beautiful sweaters. He never wears them telling me that they are "too nice". So, I wear them and I will not knit anymore for him. Why waste my time?


----------



## Tigerwiggy (Apr 24, 2013)

I made my then boss several knit dishcloths. She thought I had made hot pads using a kid's loom where you use the loops of material. She lived in a different state and I have no idea if she used them or not.


----------



## desertgirl (Jan 26, 2013)

My grandmother crocheted a multicolored square to use next to the sink. I wore it out, felt so bad, and saved the raggedy
piece for years. Now, I'm glad I used it.


----------



## Longtimer (May 23, 2013)

Lafemmefran said:


> I have made myself one knitted dishcloth. I do not like it as a dishcloth because if I am wiping down a counter of table, it leaves too much moisture behind even if it has been well wrung out. I do use it as a pad for my glass carafe when making coffee.
> 
> I will not make dishcloths for people for this reason.


Is your dishcloth made of cotton or an acrylic?
I used to use disposable dishcloths (another story). My aunt informed me that if I used a cotton dishcloth I would not have moisture left after wiping down a counter. She was correct and I've been using handmade cotton dishcloths ever since.


----------



## island stasher (Dec 23, 2012)

yes, but I've also had people love my knitting and use it constantly! So, don't be too upset - there will always be people who DO appreciate your efforts.


buttons said:


> As I live out of state there is no way of me knowing. I just can imagine.


----------



## Bombshellknits (Feb 2, 2013)

queenofallcrafts said:


> Hello! (This is a pet peeve of mine, I am curious if this has happened to anyone else...)
> 
> Last year for Christmas I made my bff 3 fun knitted dishcloths (nothing fancy, very basic). She doesn't have a dishwasher so I thought... perfect! Right?? WRONG!
> 
> ...


----------



## Pam in LR (Feb 16, 2012)

Not only has this happened to me, but I've done it myself! I am "saving" a special dish towel from a weaving exchange and the last potholders my mother made before her death. !And, I only put out my "good" textiles for special occasions.


----------



## bamamawmaw (Apr 6, 2012)

I knitted scarves for my 2 daughters, daughter-in-law, son and 2 sons-in-law, also my husband. My daughter and son-in-law who live in Michigan do wear the scarves. This daughter also uses the knitted dishcloths I made. I used different cottons and she told me which one she liked the most. My other daughter said they were too pretty to use. I told her to use them, I could make more! My daughter-in-law has used one of the dishcloths. She really likes the frilly scarves I make. Handmade things are really special and I have some my grandma made. These I keep on display and they are not for use!


----------



## susan1461853 (Dec 8, 2012)

queenofallcrafts said:


> Hello! (This is a pet peeve of mine, I am curious if this has happened to anyone else...)
> 
> Last year for Christmas I made my bff 3 fun knitted dishcloths (nothing fancy, very basic). She doesn't have a dishwasher so I thought... perfect! Right?? WRONG!
> 
> ...


Exactly what happened with my Mom who is 86. She hooks gorgeous rugs and know the value of hand work. So, I give them to her anyway because she loves them but can't bring herself to use them!


----------



## Bonidale (Mar 26, 2011)

I spent nine months knitting a circular white lace baby blanket for a christening. I found it jammed in a drawer with other a bunch of old baby blankets. Needless to say that was the last thing I knit for that family.


----------



## elaineadams (Oct 17, 2011)

queenofallcrafts said:


> Hello! (This is a pet peeve of mine, I am curious if this has happened to anyone else...)
> 
> Last year for Christmas I made my bff 3 fun knitted dishcloths (nothing fancy, very basic). She doesn't have a dishwasher so I thought... perfect! Right?? WRONG!
> 
> ...


I think I'd be more upset if I saw the gift I had made on display in a charity shop with a 25p price tag.....as happened to a friend of mine.


----------



## mzmom1 (Mar 4, 2011)

knitter360 said:


> Yes, this has happened to me, but I feel this way = once the gift is given, then it is no longer mine to tell how it is to be used. I had the enjoyment of making it and while making it I thought of the person receiving it and that brought me joy!


Knitter, that's exactly the way I feel about gifts. You said it perfectly! 
Now, tell me about your avatar. How did you get cats to do that?


----------



## kdb (Aug 29, 2012)

I crochet a baby blanket for my husbands nephew, and I went to visit one morning and to my horror the dog was laying on it I was speechless at the time I did not stay very long to keep from saying something unpleasant. I was mad and hurt, I told my husband that I will never waste my time again.


----------



## 3DogMom (May 7, 2013)

gr8 said:


> some times we just don't like things other people like and visa versa. a friend made a beautiful granny square afghan for her daughter and family. when she went to visit she found they were using it as the dog's blanket in the back of the station wagon. she was crushed but decided she would never make anything for anyone - except herself - ever again. I stopped making anything for anyone except babies and me when my sister told me " your taste is in your mouth." I do love to make unique baby items and sell them at the senior center.


Just to weigh in on items being used as dog blankets, although in some of these stories it sounds like the people are not very nice in general with their attitudes about handmade work, in my case my dogs are my family and the things I make or buy for them are important. I crocheted our Beagle who died of cancer a couple of months ago a baby blanket (she did not live to use it) and now it is displayed on the sofa as a tribute to her. In my mind, a gift is a gift and you don't always know the person's thinking in how they use it and it's best to believe they have good intentions and appreciate it.


----------



## martina (Jun 24, 2012)

I made blankets for friends grand babies. One sent a picture of it in use, the other a lovely "Thank you" card. My younger son wears the scarf I knitted last year. The other will wear the one I am making for him. I crochet blankets for charity and get thanks for them. I always make sure that the person wants what I make after bad experiences before. Needless to say they never got anything else from me. Thank you costs nothing.


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

Linda said:


> I feel your pain. I made a pair of pig slippers for the sister in law. She collects flying pigs which are hard to find. The slippers were stuffed, and I made wings for them. They took forever to make and I really tried to do a good job. When I gave them to her, she really didn't even look at them. Put them right back in the bag and never said a word. That was 4 yrs ago and she has never said a word. She hasn't received anything since. It does hurt but what can you do


Awww.... I'll bet you were CRUSHED! She unfortunately let you know through her body language and her reaction, that she did not appreciate your thoughtful gift. I'm so sorry that happened to you!


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

kittenosmall said:


> Hi, my 14 yr old daughter loves her two washcloths, uses them all the time and wants even more. It feels good to know your item is being used, your friend, janet


Absolutely! Thank you for sharing =]


----------



## Madjesty (Jul 26, 2012)

I would try to take it as a compliment, that your work was appreciated, although I know it stings when people don't use something you made for them. I would do as another poster suggested and maker her another set and say now you have a set to use and a set to save.


----------



## mzmom1 (Mar 4, 2011)

cydneyjo said:


> Oh, and when my granddaughters pass down clothing, there is always something, or several things, well-worn and well-cared-for in the box that I have knit.Sometimes I don't even know which child I originally made it for, but now the youngest lives with me, so I'm getting to see everything again. And I just got one dress back for "mending."


It's a lovely family tradition to pass clothes down among you. My aunt once sent me an outfit that was first my brother's, then worn by her two boys, and then back to me for my son. Last I sent it back to my brother for his little boy. That one went full circle. :thumbup:


----------



## albie (Jun 2, 2011)

i received a (C) potholder from my mother yeons ago.(she has since died). it started out as chs and you go rnd and rnd til the sides meet,double thickness. she made it from acrylic cause that was available before cotton. i still have the potholder. looks likes something auto mechanics wouldn't use. BUT you know i still use it! it is just broken in. i made me some more using cotton and they aren't WORN OUT YET!! my oldest daughter(44yo) wants that potholder when i go!! it will still be around. by the way the pattern is still out there.


----------



## arwenian (Aug 15, 2011)

My mom always "saved for good" most of the gifts I gave her . It always hurt my feelings and made me feel if as if I couldn't please her and my gifts weren't good enough.
If you like your gifts, please use them.


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

caat said:


> I made two beautiful sweaters from my grandsons three years ago, and never got an acknowledgment, or a picture of them wearing them (they don't live near us). No thanks, nothing. I also made each of them a sequin christmas stocking (lots and lots of work) .... same thing. No acknowledgment or thank you. Never will make them anything again.


awwww... that's horrible! All that time and love into those stitches and not even a thank you. In my day, we used to sit down and write thank yous on pretty cards, and mail them, whether we liked the gift or not! LOL! I realize we are living in a computer age now... but you should have received a phone call for Pete's sake.


----------



## sallygl (Aug 12, 2011)

Hi, I have made dishcloths as a gift, but they use them as a centerpiece for their table or as decoration on the stove with s&p shakers on them.


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

headlemk said:


> When my father died, I had to task of cleaning out his closet. I found and the shelves boxes and boxes of shirts (Christmas, birthday and father's day gifts) that he had "put away" until he needed them. Hanging on the hangers were totally threadbare (you could see through them) favorite shirts that he loved to wear "and they weren't worn out yet". :-( I also found a huge stash of paper napkins from Taco Bell, McDonalds, Burger King and KFC. If my mother lived to be 200 she'd never use all of these napkins.


LOL!! Great story, thank you for sharing =]


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

misellen said:


> Many years ago, when my niece was a young fairly new housewife, my mother made and beautifully embroidered two aprons for her.
> My niece never wore them. Instead she used them as wall hangings in her dining room. Mom was quite pleased that they were that well liked. Of course she was a 'saver' herself.


Wonderful!! Rather than wear them and risk getting them worn... she put them on display for everyone to see. I'll bet your mom was VERY happy seeing that. =]

Great story! Thank you for sharing =]


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

misellen said:


> Are you sure that she actually likes to use dishcloths? I don't as I prefer my dish-mop. Rather than gifting her with more dishcloths, why don't you make some pretty facecloths and give them to her with some nice smelling soap for her bathroom?


That's a wonderful idea!! Thank you for sharing. =]


----------



## penneymay (Jul 4, 2013)

Yes Kathy, this has happened to me on more than one gift giving occasions. I have had friends use my dishcloths as doily type things, "oh it is too pretty to use for washing dishes" is the explanation I would get, then I have had others use them as potholders .... "they are too pretty to get wet".
I make the kind that cast on 4 stitches and off you go-o-o-o-o!! easy as pie ones.
So you are not alone. It bruises the ego at first, don't feel it is a sign of no appreciation, urge your friend to use >>one<< tell her to just give it a try, after i did this with my friends??? they clamored at my door for ~more please~ ;-)


----------



## mamagill (May 5, 2013)

Sorry to have to admit this, but, my daughter didn't like the color sweater I made for her, gave her cat the pillow cover that I made for her and threw out the dish cloth I made for her.

I do not make anything she doesn't ask for and/or describe.
She is using the market bag and fingerless gloves. She means no ill will but she does speak her mind.


----------



## mzmom1 (Mar 4, 2011)

thumper2013 said:


> This happens all the time with my daughter in law. I make a lot for my grandchildren and NEVER see them wear them. It hurts me greatly. I've asked her and my son often please let the kids wear my things. Usually I have to find them and PUT them on the kids when I'm there. I don't get it.
> The kids love to wear them too. I've pretty much stopped giving them items now. What's the point of time and work not to mention love I put in them.


I never actually saw my grandson wear the little hand-smocked and knitted outfits I made when he was small, (they live in another state) and sort of wondered about it but never asked if he wore them. Then one year we were at their home for Thanksgiving and a friend of my DIL was there too. Somehow the conversation got around to handmade work and my DIL went upstairs and brought out all the garments I had made my GS. You could tell they had been worn until outgrown. It touched me that she had kept them because she usually passes down or yard sales things as soon as they are outgrown or not needed.


----------



## penneymay (Jul 4, 2013)

on the side it says i am >in hiding<, i am not sure how to un-hide myself yet :?


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

sewn by susan said:


> Years ago I spent a lot of time and effort making an afghan for my sister and her husband. I never received a thank you, but I let that go. I wondered many times, though, why I never saw it out.
> 
> Then one day I had to be in their dirty, dingy basement . . . where the dog slept. And there, wadded up on the dirty concrete floor was that afghan . . . where the dog obviously slept!
> 
> ...


Honey, you can rant all you want!! I feel the exact same way! I just replied to a previous post that back in my day we used to sit down and write out our thank yous on pretty cards (whether we liked the gift or not! LOL!) Still to this day, I always show my appreciation no matter what I've been given. I love all my gifts though because I think about that person picking it out or making it just for ME, ya know.


----------



## bettymagu (Sep 27, 2011)

yes, and I don't knit anything for them again


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

Pocahontas said:


> Happy "4th" to you Kathy! Thank you for this interesting thread. You have been a great moderator, replying with your thoughtful responses.


Thank you so much!!!! I love how popular this post has become, and all the stories people are sharing (both good and bad!) I feel if you've taken the time to reply... the least I can do is respond. Even if it is just a "thank you for sharing". I appreciate your kind words =]

Kathy
=]


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

weaver1510 said:


> Whenever I make something for a gift (knitted, crocheted, sewed), I always instruct the receiver that it is theirs to do as they wish. If they don't like it-sell it or pass it on to someone who will use it. It is my love in the gift so send the love to someone who will use it. Just don't tell me about it and don't put in a drawer to be never seen again. It's then a waste of love and time.


That is VERY good advice!! I feel the same way! Thank you for sharing =]


----------



## sallygl (Aug 12, 2011)

same with me, in hiding, how do you change it?


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

Redhatchris said:


> Last Christmas I knit a beautiful hat and sweater, color coordinated with his red hair, for my 2 yr. old grandson. My daughter said it was too nice to send him to daycare in, it would get ruined. I only asked (50 times) for a photo of him in it. Think I got it yet? By the time she gets around to it, it won't fit. I have no desire to make anything else for them. too bad.


awww!! This happened to me with my niece's sweater I made a looooong time ago. I used a fun fluffy luxuriously soft yarn and gave it to her when she was 3or4. I kept asking for a picture of her (it was my FIRST "fluffy" sweater, and I was proud of it!) My sister just kept saying "no way! she'll stain it". All I wanted was a picture. LOL!! By the time I mentioned it again... she out grew it. That little sweater is STILL probably tucked away in a drawer somewhere. =]

So, my advice to you is.... go over there, put that sweater on that darling little boy yourself... take him outside... and snap some photos before it's too late!!! You'll be glad you did!

Thanks for sharing!


----------



## Shirlck (May 15, 2013)

I am like your bff... and please take her response to the dishcloths as a compliment. Many gifts I have received I don't like to use because they are so special, especially things that are homemade. I have some embroidered pillowcases that I don't use because I am afraid that many washings will ruin their appearance. So I "save" them. I know they were made for me to use. I am trying to change this bit of my thinking, to use and enjoy.


----------



## kerrie35094 (Jul 2, 2011)

Kathy, I just read your original statement/question to my daughter. It made my point better than every other approach I've tried. THANK YOU!!!

I knit a pair of socks for her and she tried them on and loved them. (Yeah, right; they're still on the coffee table gathering dust.) I knit another pair, they joined the first. Her reaction was great - "You knit me another pair? I don't want anything to happen to them, they're too pretty" etc, etc. - but not the reaction I wanted. Finally she wore a pair to work, said she had a good time showing them off but she never wore them again. Then, your wonderful question! 

She told me they're too warm to wear now but she promises she will wear them this fall and winter and she will change her thinking from "the well is dry" to "another pair can be on the needles tomorrow."

On another note, the first pair I knit for her a couple of years ago were rather awful. She wore them to work and felt something up around her ankle - the entire toe had come undone and they were slowly heading up to her knee! I was afraid she didn't have confidence in her mama's knitting and didn't want to chance it again! LOL

Thanks for the opportunity to discuss this with her with light banter and understanding!


----------



## Ginny K (Jun 1, 2011)

Yep, when my mother - in-law passed away, we found everything I gave her including hand knit items in a box at the bottom of her closet! Oh well, I got them back!


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

Carly SK said:


> Well, it turns out I, too, am one of those people who have saved beautiful gifts, such as special plates or bowls, because the thought of breaking them, or in the case of hand made gifts, getting them stained or worn out breaks my heart. Over the years I have looked at those gifts often and smiled, thinking of the individual who so lovingly selected or made the gift. As a knitter, I know the effort and love that goes into making an item for someone, and appreciate it so much I hate to ruin the item. When I give I gift to someone, I'm not always sure that the individual uses it, but I trust they know the love that went into the creation or selection.


You're heart is in the right place. You obviously love those gifts so much you don't want anything to happen to them. We've been talking about photos in a few other posts... why don't you have someone take your picture wearing or using those gifts... and send them to the giver. I promise she/he will be much appreciative and treasure that photo.

Thank you for sharing (and confessing!! LOL)


----------



## 1953knitter (Mar 30, 2011)

Do you use 100% cotton yarn for your dish cloths? If not that explains why you are not getting all the water up. I love my knitted dish clothes and I use only all cotton yarn in white or off white.


----------



## 1953knitter (Mar 30, 2011)

I feel certain lots of the gifts I knit are not used. We recently cleaned out my mother's home and found several used and unused gifts. I try to knit things I know will be used, such as dish clothes, hats, scarves, cowls and for my husband socks. My daughter-in-law didn't use the dish clothes I gave her because "they were too nice" and my daughter told her to use it, she'd love them. She used it, she loves them and gets 3-4 as stocking stuffers every year since.


----------



## shewolf389 (Nov 28, 2011)

queenofallcrafts said:


> Hello! (This is a pet peeve of mine, I am curious if this has happened to anyone else...)
> 
> Last year for Christmas I made my bff 3 fun knitted dishcloths (nothing fancy, very basic). She doesn't have a dishwasher so I thought... perfect! Right?? WRONG!
> 
> ...


Kathy, I must admit that I am guilty of this as well. I receive hand made items that sit in my drawers for years never used. My mother embroidered lovely table cloths, dish towels, pillowcases you name it, she has been gone now 10 years. I take out these little treasures every now and then to admire her work and appreciate all the time and love she put into making things for me. I don't take these gifts lightly, I don't want them to wear out, I want them forever with me. I have wash clothes from a girl I used to work with and I take them out and remember the good times we shared and what a treasure she was.
So when we don't use what we are given, instead of taking it as a snub or insult, please see it from our side, that you are a highly treasured individual whos time and work is greatly appreciated year after year after year without ever wearing out.
Another Kathy.


----------



## DollieD (Mar 7, 2011)

Kathy,
I commented on this yesterday.....but!
I received an email sale from JoAnns this morning and began an order and thought of you...and my stash.
I was thinking ...what is the difference?
Many of us claim to have stashes that will outlive us!
Do you get where I am going with this?
I trully just don't want you to be upset at your friend.
I believe she really appreciated your gift and values you as a friend!  xoxox


----------



## barb knits (Sep 18, 2011)

I use everything I'm given, especially if it's handmade because my Mom told me a story one day: When she and Dad were first married a neighbor brought some goodies in a beautiful dish. When Mom went to wash the dish, it slipped from her hand and broke. She was so scared but mustered her courage, went to the neighbor, told her she had broken the dish, and if the neighbor would tell her where she purchased it Mom would replace it. Are you ready for this ... She said - "Oh my dear, don't worry about dish. It belonged to the first Mrs. Burrell." Mom and I used everything after that! Take your bff remark as a compliment, but tell her this story - then...she might use your dishcloth! Enjoy the giving ... forget the using!


----------



## Carol V (Jan 13, 2013)

I've had a few big projects that I've done for relatives. Other people have admired them while they are still works in progress, and have even offered to pay me for them, so I do know that my skill is up to snuff.

However, unless an item is specifically asked for by the recipient, in my family it's pretty much a sure bet that the item will be unused. And actually, with the exception of my two nieces, even if I purchase a gift for one of my family members, it's at least a fifty-fifty chance that it will go unused. Quite frankly, there were a few things made by my beloved grandmother that I wore whenever I knew I would be seeing her, but wouldn't wear otherwise. Although their construction was impeccable, these few things neither fit nor flattered me. I still have them, however: They remind me of all the things she did make for me that I wore to death!

About fifteen years ago, at Christmastime, in a fit of indignation, I sent various family members "symbolic gifts"---gifts made to various charities in their honor. That went over like a lead balloon, I'll tell you! Next year I started gifting again. However, I made the following shift with myself: 

I realized the problem was not with what I made, but with my own attitude. People all have their own tastes, and usually prefer to wear/use something that fits those tastes. Even thrift store shoppers will gravitate to what they personally like. When I worked in an oncology hospital, I even heard the occasional snarfy comment about skill, color sense, and construction from some hairless chemotherapy patients. 

So I realized it was all up to me: I could a) knit for myself unless specifically requested to make something specific for a family member, b) knit away and not interpret it as a slight if my gift was unused, or c) find another hobby. I chose a. Except for my two nieces: They always express delight in a surprise handknit item (they lean heavily towards scarves and socks.) 

Everybody else gets a gift card so they can select what they want. 

If someone asks me to knit them an item I now charge for the materials and my labor. I figure that if people pay for something, they are more likely to wear it.


----------



## grandmann (Feb 4, 2011)

penneymay said:


> on the side it says i am >in hiding<, i am not sure how to un-hide myself yet :?


I see you are from Ohio, welcome from WI.


----------



## JCF (Aug 3, 2012)

Kathy, I can certainly empathize with you. Because of that I no longer knit ANYthing for family. It is never used and I never see it again. Nowadays I knit only for charities or for myself. We put a lot of time and effort into things and if the item is not going to be used, is given away, trashed, it isn't worth the heartache.


----------



## Carly SK (Jan 5, 2013)

queenofallcrafts said:


> You're heart is in the right place. You obviously love those gifts so much you don't want anything to happen to them. We've been talking about photos in a few other posts... why don't you have someone take your picture wearing or using those gifts... and send them to the giver. I promise she/he will be much appreciative and treasure that photo.
> 
> Thank you for sharing (and confessing!! LOL)


That is a great suggestion and I will make sure I always remember to do that in the future. Maybe that will give me permission to actually use and enjoy the items since I'll always be able to look at the pictures. Unbelievable that I have never thought of doing that and have deprived myself all of these years of the joy of using and enjoying those gifts. Isn't it interesting how the simplest solutions are the best?


----------



## sholen (Mar 1, 2011)

I knitted an afghan with bright rainbow colors for my granddaughter...and of course, a matching one for her doll. It was a "now you see it, now you don't" experience. She used them a couple of times when I was there...then, as if by some magic, they both disappeared! Hmmmm...do I hear "garage sale"?


----------



## sallygl (Aug 12, 2011)

thanks!!


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

rogietx said:


> Yes, I actually made an heirloom afghan, some knitted hats, booties, sweater, etc. for my grandson when he was born, (he is now 7) and have never seen any of them. Needless to say I am a bit unsure about making the sweater they have asked for. It does hurt a lot since so much time and love is put into these projects and they either linger in a drawer somewhere or are on some other children (which would actually be better) from having been given to charity.


I agree! However... maybe since they've requested something special this time, it will perhaps get more use. We can hope, right?

Thank you for sharing! =]


----------



## PaKnitter (Mar 7, 2011)

queenofallcrafts said:


> Honey, you can rant all you want!! I feel the exact same way! I just replied to a previous post that back in my day we used to sit down and write out our thank yous on pretty cards (whether we liked the gift or not! LOL!) Still to this day, I always show my appreciation no matter what I've been given. I love all my gifts though because I think about that person picking it out or making it just for ME, ya know.


And I'll be standing right beside you...our three step grandchildren do not say 'thank you' to us but will say 'thank you' to the other family members. They no longer receive any gifts from us. 
But late December Ashley had a preemie girl and I knitted 2 outfits for her not knowing if she would survive or not. She did... but our gifts were not acknowledged even though everyone else received a 'thank you'. 
I plan to knit a doll that looks like her someday that can be kept at my daughter's when she visits. Other than that...I am finished!


----------



## musing crow (Nov 16, 2012)

I think more often than not people who receive had knit gifts really do hold off on using them "because they are too nice." That's really a compliment, though we, as the makers, wish for out things to be used!

I made a lovely lace scarf for one friend and I have never seen her use it - and it makes me want to ask her why not, but then again I GAVE it to her, so I can't police her using it can I? It hurts a bit, but maybe she just does not want to wear scarfs? maybe she never gets cold enough to use one...so many things could be the cause. I won't make her another though I don't think.

I have another friend who adores using my knit dish cloths though and she wants more.


----------



## CBCAROL (Apr 12, 2011)

Lafemmefran said:


> I have made myself one knitted dishcloth. I do not like it as a dishcloth because if I am wiping down a counter of table, it leaves too much moisture behind even if it has been well wrung out. I do use it as a pad for my glass carafe when making coffee.
> 
> I will not make dishcloths for people for this reason.


I have been making (both Knitting & crocheting) dishcloths for almost 50 years & ALWAYS use them...... IF you make them out of DO try it with 100% cotton.....


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

Pleclerrc said:


> Take the "High Road" and believe that your BFF treasure your hand-made gifts and want to keep them in pristine condition to enjoy each time they open their drawer. Consider it a compliment. Patricia


Yep! That's what I'm going to do. Accept it as a compliment. After all... she wants to keep them forever apparently. LOL =]


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

Gweneth 1946 said:


> Yes Kathy, I did the same thing. I received a few nice ones as a going away present about 14 years ago and put them in the bottom of a drawer for safe keeping. At the time not many people were making them and they were expensive at craft sales. So I put them aside. Well since then I have received quite a few and have started using them, but the first set are still at the bottom of the pile. My daughter taught herself how to crochet a few months ago and made me one and the design had large holes in it. I found that it worked better than the original close knit ones and it dries faster, so I have asked her to make me more. Heaven only knows when I will get around to using the ones at the bottom of the pile. Don't take it personally, your friends will get around to using them some day.


What a great story! That's so thoughtful of you. And, I'll bet you made your daughter's day by asking for more. =]

Thanks for sharing! =]


----------



## ELareau (Nov 4, 2012)

Wow. I now consider myself to be extremely fortunate. My nieces and nephews "order" their gifts. One nephew (who is now in his early 20s) has asked for a knitted blanket every year for Christmas. His sister has requested pillows, articles of baby clothing for her children. Other nieces and nephews use blankets made for them as well.

My Mom used to crochet potholders for me. I would get them in batches from yarn remnants she had (mostly because I would set fire to them often). I have 1 left, and it will never be used. She passed away in 1991, and I cherish that last potholder.


----------



## jmf6406 (Dec 13, 2012)

My mother made me some lovely applique dishtowels years ago. I have never used them since I didn't want to ruin them. A couple of weeks ago, a friend asked me, "Why are you saving them? Are you going to take them with you?" Some people are "savers" and some are more practical, I guess. I will get those dishtowels out and use them. . .later


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

gdhavens said:


> Just a note about dishcloths. Dishcloths need to be made out of cotton to be used to wash dishes. Acrylic does not absorb water. I have a "scrubber" that was gifted to me and grease just sets on it, therefore I don't use it.
> 
> Cotton clothes are wonderful and last a long time. I keep meaning to make face cloths to try.


Agreed! Cotton is the way to go for dishcloths. I've never made a scrubber, I'll have to look into that. I love your idea of face cloths. Make them smaller maybe? Love that!

Thank you for sharing =]


----------



## wyldwmn (Jun 11, 2013)

In my family, most of the women cherished things that were made by other people, and kept them in drawers to take out and admire. I tend to do the same thing. With respect to my own mother, I've made her lots and lots of crocheted and knitted dishcloths, potholders, tea towels, etc. and she keeps them all very nice and brings them out to brag about them when people come over. I've learned over the years to gauge the reception when I make something for someone, and to know and appreciate in advance whether it is something they will actually use, or just put into a garage sale. I try to gauge whether the things that I think should be utilitarian will be considered by them to be treasures. Recently a family friend who was sent to live in an assisted living facility gave me a large box of fabric for quilting. It's very poor quality, and not fabric that I would ever use, but that's not the point. One day when I was visiting her I started a conversation about wanting our beloved treasures to be in the hands and hearts of someone who will love and cherish them in the same way that we do. She began to cry and talked about how her daughter had taken a stack of her hand made quilts and quilts made by her own mother, to a second hand store to drop off. The daughter also gathered up a pile of fancywork (needlework with fine thread) and donated it to a classroom to be cut up and used for crafts projects. Getting back to dishcloths...some people don't like to use them because they prefer using other things, so for me, if I'm going to give a gift, I try to do so with a little bit of wisdom. They might love my dishcloths because they treasure my work and the love that went into making them. I'm fine with that.


----------



## marilynjs49 (Jul 4, 2013)

Please remember, once a gift is truly given, it belongs to the receiver without any attachments by you. They can use or give away because it now belongs to them. I am sure she remembers your kind thoughtfulness and love when she received the gift.


----------



## wizardofoz (Jun 15, 2013)

Face it girls! I am 80 and I do all of this for personal gratification. If I give a gift, I never worry about whether they will use it. I have had my 'fun' making it, picking out something I thought they would like, etc. I have often heard from someone, "It is to nice or pretty to use!" It is their choice now.


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

PaKnitter said:


> Many quilters have told the same story of finding their quilts used as paint drop cloths, rugs at the doors, in the dog houses, as tarps for covering outdoors furniture and one person even saw her quilt on the side of the road as the family tossed it out the window on the way home. So sad and very disturbing behavior, I think.


OMGosh... that makes my heart go pitter-pat! I could never do that!! What is wrong with people? I also quilt... what a horrible thing to do. A drop cloth? REALLY?? UGH!! That's just heart-wrenching!


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

grandmann said:


> I had a friend that I worked with she always wanted tiny dishcloths. So, whenever Christmas or her Birthday came along I put a little cloth in the card. We got together about a month ago. She said I would like if you consider making a sweater. I really don't like dishcloths they stink no matter what size you make them.
> 
> She has another thought coming. I did make her two afghans who knows where they are at. But I know next time when she sees me working on something she will say "would you make me one". I don't think so.


She said they STINK? Maybe she doesn't know you can wash them. What a rude thing to say. Did she really think that wouldn't bother you? I've been reading several posts like this... and it's almost as if some people have no idea how hurtful their words and actions can be. What a shame...

Thanks for sharing =]


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

Beve said:


> I am guilty of this, too! My aunt made some beautiful embroidered dish drying cloths for me and I just didn't want to get them spotted so they are on display instead of being used for the purpose she intended. I am using them today!


That's great! I think "displaying" someone's needlework gift is a much higher honor! It just shows them you love it so much you want everyone to see it too.

Thanks for sharing! =]


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

gr8 said:


> some times we just don't like things other people like and visa versa. a friend made a beautiful granny square afghan for her daughter and family. when she went to visit she found they were using it as the dog's blanket in the back of the station wagon. she was crushed but decided she would never make anything for anyone - except herself - ever again. I stopped making anything for anyone except babies and me when my sister told me " your taste is in your mouth." I do love to make unique baby items and sell them at the senior center.


awww... I don't think my mother would speak to me again if I did something like that with her hand-made gift. I'll bet she was really hurt. Although her afghan was getting "used", it wasn't how the giver intended.

I also enjoy making unique baby items... I just have to "hope" they are getting used, and not tucked in a drawer somewhere. =]


----------



## fstknitter (Apr 8, 2012)

Many times. I don't knit for those people anymore


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

ElyseKnox said:


> Personally, I have found the fastest way to disappointment is to make assumptions or have expectations of others--even more so when it comes to giving gifts. I so want the recipient to feel the same way about it that I do. That being said, my own peace of mind is at its best when I give the gift and completely divorce myself from my expectations. "Using" a gift may mean something else completely to the receiver.


You are right about that! Thank you for sharing your good advise! =]


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

thumper5316 said:


> I have knit my DH two beautiful sweaters. He never wears them telling me that they are "too nice". So, I wear them and I will not knit anymore for him. Why waste my time?


Problem solved! Glad you are enjoying your handywork! Thanks for sharing =]


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

Tigerwiggy said:


> I made my then boss several knit dishcloths. She thought I had made hot pads using a kid's loom where you use the loops of material. She lived in a different state and I have no idea if she used them or not.


LOL!!!! I remember those! My sister and I used to make them.

Well, we'll just assume your old boss IS using them. Funny story, thank you for sharing =]


----------



## BobbieO (May 23, 2012)

When I was a young woman, I had no time for knitting. Family. House, work. You all know how that went. However, I ran the sewing machine a lot. About 1955 I made my mother a beautiful 
caftan. In 1975, after she pass, my daughters and I were cleaning out drawers. One of them found a gift box, and yes you got it....still wrapped in tissue was the caftan. Mother was much taller than I. I cut it off, hemmed it and enjoyed
waring it for a lot of years, knowing she thought so much of it. Each time I felt her close by, smiling her approval. 
Thanks KP for the memories..


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

desertgirl said:


> My grandmother crocheted a multicolored square to use next to the sink. I wore it out, felt so bad, and saved the raggedy
> piece for years. Now, I'm glad I used it.


Your grandmother would be proud! Great story, thank you for sharing! =]


----------



## AnjiCat (Dec 6, 2011)

In January 2012, I made a lovely little vest tunic for my niece. She absolutely adores it and wears it regularly still as she seems for the moment at least to be a child who gets taller not wider 

Her mom was amazed at the construction as she'd never seen knitting in the round before and was wondering how I'd hidden the seems and I think was tempted to make it a special occasion only garment until I reassured her that it could go in and out of the washer just fine.

We got together recently and I was amazed that Briana still hadn't outgrown it so I said to her mom that when she does, send it back and I'll recondition the yarn and re-knit it with some stripes so she can have some more use out of it. She was amazed that that can be done too, bless her :mrgreen:


----------



## debg05 (Mar 25, 2013)

Hmmm, my husbands knitted vest falls on the other side of this spectrum. He grew up pretty much in a poor state. His mom made some things, clothes handed down, doing without, etc. I'm assuming a lot of families did, from what I saw of the rural area at visits. But he is extremely mindful of how his clothes look now. He will but cheaply made but "look good" instead of workhorse, if you know what I mean. 
So, when I made my dtr a sweater and he then requested a vest, I happily obliged, though I hated the drab grey and plain stockinette. 
He did wear it once, but mentioned that he thought some one looked at him funny. I know him well enough that his insecurity has taken over.
So, while he does admire my work, gives me compliments, takes pics and shows off my handiwork at work, he just can't wear anything. Simply because he knows it's homemade. And this is ok because the rest of my family is clamoring for blankets, socks, hats and sweaters. And I need a few things too!


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

Pam in LR said:


> Not only has this happened to me, but I've done it myself! I am "saving" a special dish towel from a weaving exchange and the last potholders my mother made before her death. !And, I only put out my "good" textiles for special occasions.


Nothing at all wrong with that! You obviously treasure those special items, so it's only natural you'd want to keep them safe and use for only special occasions. =]

Thank you for sharing! =]


----------



## Doubledee (May 29, 2013)

Knitted dishcloths that are made of some yarn other than cotton leave too much moisture when used to wipe down the counter, I know because my mother used to crochet and give them to me. But to avoid this problem knit them in cotton. You can squeeze the water out and use them to wipe down counters and tables and they wash dishes really well. I love using them, and so do the people I give them to.


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

bamamawmaw said:


> I knitted scarves for my 2 daughters, daughter-in-law, son and 2 sons-in-law, also my husband. My daughter and son-in-law who live in Michigan do wear the scarves. This daughter also uses the knitted dishcloths I made. I used different cottons and she told me which one she liked the most. My other daughter said they were too pretty to use. I told her to use them, I could make more! My daughter-in-law has used one of the dishcloths. She really likes the frilly scarves I make. Handmade things are really special and I have some my grandma made. These I keep on display and they are not for use!


What a great story thank you for sharing. It's nice to hear when others are enjoying your handiwork. Makes you feel all warm and fuzzy, doesn't it? =]


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

susan1461853 said:


> Exactly what happened with my Mom who is 86. She hooks gorgeous rugs and know the value of hand work. So, I give them to her anyway because she loves them but can't bring herself to use them!


Well, at least you know she treasures them. Great story, thank you for sharing! =]


----------



## Zie (Feb 6, 2011)

Please do not take this wrong but I hate dishcloths. I believe they spread germs like nothing else in the kitchen and don't even own one. I know I can't be the only one that feels this way. But I do know she loves the ones you made her. Just let her enjoy them her way.


----------



## PaKnitter (Mar 7, 2011)

queenofallcrafts said:


> She said they STINK? Maybe she doesn't know you can wash them. What a rude thing to say. Did she really think that wouldn't bother you? I've been reading several posts like this... and it's almost as if some people have no idea how hurtful their words and actions can be. What a shame...
> 
> Thanks for sharing =]


The only thing stinking would be having her for a friend!


----------



## deshka (Apr 6, 2011)

Yup, When my brother's first child was coming there was a baby shower for it. Back then the gender was not known ahead of time. I picked a lavender baby yarn and knit a cute cable sweater for it. and put the buttons on for a girl, she wanted a girl really bad. She had a boy, and another sister in law ask her why she never used the sweater I made for her and she told her because the buttons were on the wrong side. Her next kid was a boy, but the next one was a girl. That sweater never left the box it was in. It was at some point given back to my sister, who never told me. When my sister passed away I cleaned out her apartment and found the box which looked somewhat familiar after all those years, and when I opened it, there was the sweater, just the way I had given it to her so many years before. So, I have one of the first gifts I ever made that was a 'big' one. Hey, it's only been 56 years now, since I made that sweater. It was made of Red Heart baby wool, 100% wool. It's nice yarn.


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

Bonidale said:


> I spent nine months knitting a circular white lace baby blanket for a christening. I found it jammed in a drawer with other a bunch of old baby blankets. Needless to say that was the last thing I knit for that family.


Yes, I would do the same. It's a shame some peeps don't appreciate handmade goodies! I'm still shocked to read other posts similar to yours.

Thanks for sharing! =]


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

elaineadams said:


> I think I'd be more upset if I saw the gift I had made on display in a charity shop with a 25p price tag.....as happened to a friend of mine.


DOLP!!! Oh yes... that'd be a little hard to see. Poor thing, bet that just about broke her heart.

Thanks for sharing =]


----------



## Iirishrn (Mar 18, 2011)

I gave my sisters a gift I made and the comments were: "I don't wear scarves." or "To frilly for me." 

At the moment, they stung a bit. I soon realized that I can only change me and not others. I chose to be grateful that I was able to make them.

I gave a gift out of love, I can only allow others to be who they are and be how they choose to be.


----------



## janenedrow53 (Jul 3, 2013)

Yes, I knit a vest for my husband, even let him change the buttons on t, & he won't wear it.


----------



## funkyknitter (Mar 21, 2012)

This is a great topic for people like us who make handmade gifts. Sometimes the recipent "saves them for good" and
won't use them. It's an old tradition that many have inherited from their grandmothers. 
I made my parents a very soft fluffy afghan for their couch.
My mother scolded my father for taking a nap under it ! 
I said that's okay Mom, that is what the afghan was for, 
to keep you warm. She wanted it to just sit on the couch
and look pretty.


----------



## grammi65 (Nov 22, 2012)

A lot of times I made things for my grandchildren and never saw it on them or ever again.


----------



## drShe (Feb 1, 2012)

I am going through all my yarn packing to move. I found a baby's jump suit with snaps I sewed in for diaper changes. The young man is now 6'2" and 15 years old! I think that deserves some kind of boobie prize.


----------



## mzmom1 (Mar 4, 2011)

debg05 said:


> Hmmm, my husbands knitted vest falls on the other side of this spectrum. He grew up pretty much in a poor state. His mom made some things, clothes handed down, doing without, etc. I'm assuming a lot of families did, from what I saw of the rural area at visits. But he is extremely mindful of how his clothes look now. He will but cheaply made but "look good" instead of workhorse, if you know what I mean.
> So, when I made my dtr a sweater and he then requested a vest, I happily obliged, though I hated the drab grey and plain stockinette.
> He did wear it once, but mentioned that he thought some one looked at him funny. I know him well enough that his insecurity has taken over.
> So, while he does admire my work, gives me compliments, takes pics and shows off my handiwork at work, he just can't wear anything. Simply because he knows it's homemade. And this is ok because the rest of my family is clamoring for blankets, socks, hats and sweaters. And I need a few things too!


I understand this. My MIL won't wear anything with different colors of fabric in it like "colorblock" because when she was growing up she had to wear homemade clothes made from any pieces of fabric her mother, a widow with eight children, could scrape together. She was very self-conscious about her clothes because they sometimes looked strange. It was the Depression, and people just had to make do. I suspect that many people's need to save "nice" things and not wear them out has its roots in that time.


----------



## Lrushefsky (Feb 6, 2011)

TeeneeBee said:


> This is an extreme compliment, don't be hurt by it. She treasures it too much to risk damaging it. It may be that she feels she won't have anything as nice again so needs to keep that one pristine. The answer to that is to get her to accept that it's okay to use because more nice things will come her way. That won't happen if you're upset so won't make her anything again. The problem is that she has given the item a very high value, not a low one.
> 
> I have a beautiful, unworn, Victorian cotton nightdress in my drawers.
> :roll:


I had not looked at her not wearing the shawl in this way. It is a good thougt I am still however not sure if I can make any other items and not have them used. My son wants me to make her a cowl. I wonder if she is a cowl type person. Not knowing what to knit or not knit. Happy knitting Linda


----------



## crafty_grandma56 (Jul 26, 2011)

I grew up where we wore 'special' dress for Sunday & holidays, used our good china for 'special' occasions only. After I got married, I decided my fine china was too nice, so I hardly used them. After sitting in a box for 38 years and very little use, I decided to take them out and use them. They have big orange flowers on them (hey it was the 70's) and the kids call it retro, the grandkids they think it is cool! My silver is still being used only on 'special' occasions only because they can't go in the dishwasher. So now I no longer keep in the drawer but use them...who else will enjoy it?


----------



## mzmom1 (Mar 4, 2011)

The comments about keeping nice things in a drawer reminded me of my great-aunt. She showed me a beautiful lawn nightgown with ribbons, lace, and pintucks galore that she had carefully packed away in tissue paper. She was 88 years old at the time. Smiling wryly she said of the gown, "I was saving it to be buried in, but it doesn't look like I'll ever need it." It had been given to her when she was 65!


----------



## grandmann (Feb 4, 2011)

queenofallcrafts said:


> She said they STINK? Maybe she doesn't know you can wash them. What a rude thing to say. Did she really think that wouldn't bother you? I've been reading several posts like this... and it's almost as if some people have no idea how hurtful their words and actions can be. What a shame...
> 
> Thanks for sharing =]


Oh yes, that's were her exact words. I had a dishcloth lying by the sink in my house and she wiped her hands on it before I knew what she was doing. She came by me and asked how her hands smelled. I thought it smelled like hand lotion. Then she shrug me off and told me can't you smell the dishcloth?


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

Madjesty said:


> I would try to take it as a compliment, that your work was appreciated, although I know it stings when people don't use something you made for them. I would do as another poster suggested and maker her another set and say now you have a set to use and a set to save.


Yes, I thought that was a wonderful idea too! Won't she be surprised - LOL!


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

mzmom1 said:


> It's a lovely family tradition to pass clothes down among you. My aunt once sent me an outfit that was first my brother's, then worn by her two boys, and then back to me for my son. Last I sent it back to my brother for his little boy. That one went full circle. :thumbup:


What a great story! Thank you for sharing!
=]


----------



## grandmann (Feb 4, 2011)

Zie said:


> Please do not take this wrong but I hate dishcloths. I believe they spread germs like nothing else in the kitchen and don't even own one. I know I can't be the only one that feels this way. But I do know she loves the ones you made her. Just let her enjoy them her way.


I realize there are people who either like them or don't. But when she saw me knitting them she was the one who wanted one or two. She even told me the ones she had she threw them out.


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

albie said:


> i received a (C) potholder from my mother yeons ago.(she has since died). it started out as chs and you go rnd and rnd til the sides meet,double thickness. she made it from acrylic cause that was available before cotton. i still have the potholder. looks likes something auto mechanics wouldn't use. BUT you know i still use it! it is just broken in. i made me some more using cotton and they aren't WORN OUT YET!! my oldest daughter(44yo) wants that potholder when i go!! it will still be around. by the way the pattern is still out there.


That's great! And now your daughter wants it too. What a special item to have as an heirloom. Just one of those things that when you look at it, it brings back fond memories. How sweet!!

Thanks for sharing =]


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

arwenian said:


> My mom always "saved for good" most of the gifts I gave her . It always hurt my feelings and made me feel if as if I couldn't please her and my gifts weren't good enough.
> If you like your gifts, please use them.


I agree! It seems many peeps just don't see it that way, and they want to just keep it safe. I would take that as a compliment though and move on. =]

Thanks for sharing =]


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

sallygl said:


> Hi, I have made dishcloths as a gift, but they use them as a centerpiece for their table or as decoration on the stove with s&p shakers on them.


That's nice, even though they are not using them how you expected... they are out for all to see. I think that's sweet =]

Thank you for sharing =]


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

penneymay said:


> Yes Kathy, this has happened to me on more than one gift giving occasions. I have had friends use my dishcloths as doily type things, "oh it is too pretty to use for washing dishes" is the explanation I would get, then I have had others use them as potholders .... "they are too pretty to get wet".
> I make the kind that cast on 4 stitches and off you go-o-o-o-o!! easy as pie ones.
> So you are not alone. It bruises the ego at first, don't feel it is a sign of no appreciation, urge your friend to use >>one<< tell her to just give it a try, after i did this with my friends??? they clamored at my door for ~more please~ ;-)


That is good advise - I'll do that! Thanks for sharing (and I know exactly the dishcloth you are referring too. I've made so many of those, you don't even really need a pattern)


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

mamagill said:


> Sorry to have to admit this, but, my daughter didn't like the color sweater I made for her, gave her cat the pillow cover that I made for her and threw out the dish cloth I made for her.
> 
> I do not make anything she doesn't ask for and/or describe.
> She is using the market bag and fingerless gloves. She means no ill will but she does speak her mind.


Yes, as I'm reading other posts... this just seems to happen. I'm glad you now wait until she requests something. No sense in wasting your time on something you don't know if she'll like.

Thanks for sharing =]


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

Shirlck said:


> I am like your bff... and please take her response to the dishcloths as a compliment. Many gifts I have received I don't like to use because they are so special, especially things that are homemade. I have some embroidered pillowcases that I don't use because I am afraid that many washings will ruin their appearance. So I "save" them. I know they were made for me to use. I am trying to change this bit of my thinking, to use and enjoy.


Oh, I do. She has not given them to her husband for mechanical work or anything (then I would be upset!!) she keeps them safe in a drawer so as NOT to ruin them. It is rather sweet when you think about it. =]

Thanks for sharing =]


----------



## Ingried (Sep 23, 2011)

Yes, I see that as a compliment. I have done so myself when I felt something was just too pretty to use and more to admire now and then.


----------



## scot_belle (Feb 10, 2013)

queenofallcrafts said:


> Hello! (This is a pet peeve of mine, I am curious if this has happened to anyone else...)
> 
> Last year for Christmas I made my bff 3 fun knitted dishcloths (nothing fancy, very basic). She doesn't have a dishwasher so I thought... perfect! Right?? WRONG!
> 
> ...


------------------------

Yes. I have had this happen before and I try to just roll with it.
Not everyone sees things the way that I do, and it is okay.

My neighbor crocheted me a washcloth that slips onto the faucet spout for fast drying and easy storage....and I love it, but I do not use it to wash any of my dishes.

I also crochet, but the work that goes into anything hand made...is not what I want to wash dishes with.

I do like to make some of the dishcloths...but mine are used as wall or shelf decorations where I can hide the clutter, and the lovely faucet wash cloth.......sits on my faucet. I like it there.

To be candid, I am NOT a dishcloth dish washer. I use the little sponge with the scrubby on one side, and for three reasons: first, the water stays in the sink better, second, the scrubby makes faster work on that pile of dishes, and lastly, after this is used to the point that it needs to be retired (germs, etc.)......... I have no guilt in throwing it away. 

Lisa


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

kerrie35094 said:


> Kathy, I just read your original statement/question to my daughter. It made my point better than every other approach I've tried. THANK YOU!!!
> 
> I knit a pair of socks for her and she tried them on and loved them. (Yeah, right; they're still on the coffee table gathering dust.) I knit another pair, they joined the first. Her reaction was great - "You knit me another pair? I don't want anything to happen to them, they're too pretty" etc, etc. - but not the reaction I wanted. Finally she wore a pair to work, said she had a good time showing them off but she never wore them again. Then, your wonderful question!
> 
> ...


So glad I could help!!! That's funny about your first pair of socks (it did make me LOL) we've all been there I think. I have to agree with her that it's a little to warm to wear hand knit socks in the middle of summer - I'm the same way. Even if I use light weight cottons. I prefer to knit with wools... I'm spoiled I guess.

So happy you were able to have a nice chat with your daughter about this. I'll bet she'll wear them more now.

Thank you for sharing!!! =]


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

Ginny K said:


> Yep, when my mother - in-law passed away, we found everything I gave her including hand knit items in a box at the bottom of her closet! Oh well, I got them back!


awww... well, I'm glad to hear you got them back and they didn't end up in thrift store or something. Now maybe they will get some use, as they were intended! =]

Thanks for sharing =]


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

lindaspinney said:


> I feel certain lots of the gifts I knit are not used. We recently cleaned out my mother's home and found several used and unused gifts. I try to knit things I know will be used, such as dish clothes, hats, scarves, cowls and for my husband socks. My daughter-in-law didn't use the dish clothes I gave her because "they were too nice" and my daughter told her to use it, she'd love them. She used it, she loves them and gets 3-4 as stocking stuffers every year since.


Yes, I don't want to make items that just sit in a drawer because they are too nice. To me that is silly. So glad your daughter was able to get her to use one. I think they are perfect gifts.

Thank you for sharing =]


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

shewolf389 said:


> Kathy, I must admit that I am guilty of this as well. I receive hand made items that sit in my drawers for years never used. My mother embroidered lovely table cloths, dish towels, pillowcases you name it, she has been gone now 10 years. I take out these little treasures every now and then to admire her work and appreciate all the time and love she put into making things for me. I don't take these gifts lightly, I don't want them to wear out, I want them forever with me. I have wash clothes from a girl I used to work with and I take them out and remember the good times we shared and what a treasure she was.
> So when we don't use what we are given, instead of taking it as a snub or insult, please see it from our side, that you are a highly treasured individual whos time and work is greatly appreciated year after year after year without ever wearing out.
> Another Kathy.


I think you're right! She is not using them because she doesn't like them... she is keeping them safe because she LOVES them. After reading so many other posts similar... I see that now.

Thank you so much for sharing! =]


----------



## misellen (Mar 8, 2013)

2DogMom said:


> Just to weigh in on items being used as dog blankets, although in some of these stories it sounds like the people are not very nice in general with their attitudes about handmade work, in my case my dogs are my family and the things I make or buy for them are important. I crocheted our Beagle who died of cancer a couple of months ago a baby blanket (she did not live to use it) and now it is displayed on the sofa as a tribute to her. In my mind, a gift is a gift and you don't always know the person's thinking in how they use it and it's best to believe they have good intentions and appreciate it.


Every time I see that a dog is using an afghan I think about the dogs in shelters who don't have soft beds. I have no problem with seeing a dog or cat snuggled up in an afghan.

i have several that I have made and usually end up sharing them with my Jack Russel who seems to think that anything knit or crochet belongs to him. Since I live alone with just Clancy (the JR) and my cat Punky (who does not like to snuggle) they are like my babies.


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

DollieD said:


> Kathy,
> I commented on this yesterday.....but!
> I received an email sale from JoAnns this morning and began an order and thought of you...and my stash.
> I was thinking ...what is the difference?
> ...


I definitely agree wholeheartedly. I see this now in a whole new light! here I thought she didn't WANT to use them. I don't think that's it. I believe now she is keeping them safe because she really loves them. And I appreciate that now. I'm glad I wrote this post! It sure is getting a lot of responses. =]

Thanks so much for sharing!! =]


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

barb knits said:


> I use everything I'm given, especially if it's handmade because my Mom told me a story one day: When she and Dad were first married a neighbor brought some goodies in a beautiful dish. When Mom went to wash the dish, it slipped from her hand and broke. She was so scared but mustered her courage, went to the neighbor, told her she had broken the dish, and if the neighbor would tell her where she purchased it Mom would replace it. Are you ready for this ... She said - "Oh my dear, don't worry about dish. It belonged to the first Mrs. Burrell." Mom and I used everything after that! Take your bff remark as a compliment, but tell her this story - then...she might use your dishcloth! Enjoy the giving ... forget the using!


Ha! What a great story! I do take her remark now as a compliment after reading all these posts. Thanks for sharing! =]

(I love your.... "Enjoy the giving... forget the using" quote!)


----------



## misellen (Mar 8, 2013)

sallygl said:


> Hi, I have made dishcloths as a gift, but they use them as a centerpiece for their table or as decoration on the stove with s&p shakers on them.


At least they're using them.


----------



## Hipoldfarmgirl (Jun 6, 2013)

that is exactly how I was raised, to not use things that are too good and too nice to use. that is how my sister's 3 children acted when I made each a quilt. that is how my grandmother was. And I thought it was just us, til I was touring a house for sale where a WWII Vet and wife had lived and died. In the upstairs, with steep tiny little steps to get there, was a room containing never used christmas presents are stored away neatly and never used. I figured others from the stash had been regifted when Christmas presents were needed. That is how I am, keep everything new in boxes as long as not absolutely needed. Never realized how much of this I did til started running around the house gathering up new unused in wrapper things to donate to Oklahoma tornado victims. In one morning I packed up three big boxes full... only to arrive about 10 minutes late and miss the truck to toledo. I came home and carefully put away everything again, and donated some to Good Will. Then the lady from the church called and said there would be another Oklahoma collection the next week and I could bring my boxes there (I had called the church to let them know I had been there but missed them). I said, "I just unpacked the boxes, I am not going thru all that again." It was a big job.


----------



## sallysilly (Apr 2, 2013)

My kids don't like anything I knit...So I just knit what I want to put it up and they will like them when I am dead and gone or they will give them away...But, I won't care then. I made each of them a hand made quilt...so far I have one sent back...she isn't into to the colors now...


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

Carol V said:


> I've had a few big projects that I've done for relatives. Other people have admired them while they are still works in progress, and have even offered to pay me for them, so I do know that my skill is up to snuff.
> 
> However, unless an item is specifically asked for by the recipient, in my family it's pretty much a sure bet that the item will be unused. And actually, with the exception of my two nieces, even if I purchase a gift for one of my family members, it's at least a fifty-fifty chance that it will go unused. Quite frankly, there were a few things made by my beloved grandmother that I wore whenever I knew I would be seeing her, but wouldn't wear otherwise. Although their construction was impeccable, these few things neither fit nor flattered me. I still have them, however: They remind me of all the things she did make for me that I wore to death!
> 
> ...


Hey, that's not a bad idea... asking those that request an item to help pay for materials. Hmmmm yes, I agree... if they have $$ invested, that item is much more likely to get used.

(your quote "everybody else gets a giftcard" totally made me LOL!!)

Thank you for sharing your story!! =]


----------



## Palenque1978 (Feb 16, 2011)

Nope, never happened to me because I don't knit dishcloths. I mostly knit and gift away socks. I know those are used.


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

JCF said:


> Kathy, I can certainly empathize with you. Because of that I no longer knit ANYthing for family. It is never used and I never see it again. Nowadays I knit only for charities or for myself. We put a lot of time and effort into things and if the item is not going to be used, is given away, trashed, it isn't worth the heartache.


It seems this kinda thing happens to many needleworkers. I guess people just don't realize the thought, time, and money that was invested in your item.

Knitting for charities has to make you feel good! Glad you are making donations to those in need.

Thanks for sharing =]


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

Carly SK said:


> That is a great suggestion and I will make sure I always remember to do that in the future. Maybe that will give me permission to actually use and enjoy the items since I'll always be able to look at the pictures. Unbelievable that I have never thought of doing that and have deprived myself all of these years of the joy of using and enjoying those gifts. Isn't it interesting how the simplest solutions are the best?


Glad I could help! I hope that works for you =]


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

sholen said:


> I knitted an afghan with bright rainbow colors for my granddaughter...and of course, a matching one for her doll. It was a "now you see it, now you don't" experience. She used them a couple of times when I was there...then, as if by some magic, they both disappeared! Hmmmm...do I hear "garage sale"?


awww... I hate to think they may have been sold in a garage sale. Hopefully (if that DID happen), the buyer is using and loving those items. =]

Thanks for sharing =]


----------



## AuntB41 (Jul 16, 2012)

I once knit a large afghan in a pattern that looked ruffled and later saw it being used as a dog bed. Now that hurts!! Also knit mittens, hats and doll clothes for GD and never saw any of them again. Her mother had frqeuent garage sales, so think that is where they went. I quit knitting for any of them!!


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

PaKnitter said:


> And I'll be standing right beside you...our three step grandchildren do not say 'thank you' to us but will say 'thank you' to the other family members. They no longer receive any gifts from us.
> But late December Ashley had a preemie girl and I knitted 2 outfits for her not knowing if she would survive or not. She did... but our gifts were not acknowledged even though everyone else received a 'thank you'.
> I plan to knit a doll that looks like her someday that can be kept at my daughter's when she visits. Other than that...I am finished!


That's so strange... I wonder why they are omitting you when it comes to a simple "thank you". So rude, too!! You've obviously spent a lot of time and effort into those projects, only to have them "shunned" so to speak. This doll you are thinking about knitting... this doll will be kept at your house? I would make sure of that! And, that goes for anything else you may decide to make for them. At least then you can have the pleasure of watching them enjoy and play with your toys/dolls you've made for them.

I hope everything works out for you. Thanks for sharing your story =]


----------



## KathleenElsner (Dec 31, 2012)

I had a fellow knitter say the same thing. I knitted a couple of dishclothes from patterns she gave me and gave them to her. She was delighted and said she couldn't use them they were so pretty. They need to be framed. ;-)


----------



## misellen (Mar 8, 2013)

wizardofoz said:


> Face it girls! I am 80 and I do all of this for personal gratification. If I give a gift, I never worry about whether they will use it. I have had my 'fun' making it, picking out something I thought they would like, etc. I have often heard from someone, "It is to nice or pretty to use!" It is their choice now.


So true! I had just been reading along and thinking about how when i give something I made, I move on and forget about it. I never know if they use it or not, but it doesn't really matter.


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

musing crow said:


> I think more often than not people who receive had knit gifts really do hold off on using them "because they are too nice." That's really a compliment, though we, as the makers, wish for out things to be used!
> 
> I made a lovely lace scarf for one friend and I have never seen her use it - and it makes me want to ask her why not, but then again I GAVE it to her, so I can't police her using it can I? It hurts a bit, but maybe she just does not want to wear scarfs? maybe she never gets cold enough to use one...so many things could be the cause. I won't make her another though I don't think.
> 
> I have another friend who adores using my knit dish cloths though and she wants more.


Yes... several other people have mentioned that really once the gift has been given... it's up to the receiver what they do with it. We can HOPE they are using or wearing your handiwork. But, if it ends up tucked away in a drawer... we really shouldn't be offended by this.

I'm glad to hear your friend likes her dishcloths!! =]

Thank you for sharing =]


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

ELareau said:


> Wow. I now consider myself to be extremely fortunate. My nieces and nephews "order" their gifts. One nephew (who is now in his early 20s) has asked for a knitted blanket every year for Christmas. His sister has requested pillows, articles of baby clothing for her children. Other nieces and nephews use blankets made for them as well.
> 
> My Mom used to crochet potholders for me. I would get them in batches from yarn remnants she had (mostly because I would set fire to them often). I have 1 left, and it will never be used. She passed away in 1991, and I cherish that last potholder.


You ARE lucky girl!! Your family places orders - that's great!! It's so nice to hear how your family really appreciates (and USES!) your handiwork! =]

I would not use that last potholder either! How sweet that it means so much to you.

Thanks for sharing!! =]


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

jmf6406 said:


> My mother made me some lovely applique dishtowels years ago. I have never used them since I didn't want to ruin them. A couple of weeks ago, a friend asked me, "Why are you saving them? Are you going to take them with you?" Some people are "savers" and some are more practical, I guess. I will get those dishtowels out and use them. . .later


I'm so glad to hear that!! I'm sure your mom would be happy to hear it too. =]

Thank you for sharing =]


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

wyldwmn said:


> In my family, most of the women cherished things that were made by other people, and kept them in drawers to take out and admire. I tend to do the same thing. With respect to my own mother, I've made her lots and lots of crocheted and knitted dishcloths, potholders, tea towels, etc. and she keeps them all very nice and brings them out to brag about them when people come over. I've learned over the years to gauge the reception when I make something for someone, and to know and appreciate in advance whether it is something they will actually use, or just put into a garage sale. I try to gauge whether the things that I think should be utilitarian will be considered by them to be treasures. Recently a family friend who was sent to live in an assisted living facility gave me a large box of fabric for quilting. It's very poor quality, and not fabric that I would ever use, but that's not the point. One day when I was visiting her I started a conversation about wanting our beloved treasures to be in the hands and hearts of someone who will love and cherish them in the same way that we do. She began to cry and talked about how her daughter had taken a stack of her hand made quilts and quilts made by her own mother, to a second hand store to drop off. The daughter also gathered up a pile of fancywork (needlework with fine thread) and donated it to a classroom to be cut up and used for crafts projects. Getting back to dishcloths...some people don't like to use them because they prefer using other things, so for me, if I'm going to give a gift, I try to do so with a little bit of wisdom. They might love my dishcloths because they treasure my work and the love that went into making them. I'm fine with that.


That's a very wise thing to do. I'll have to remember that myself. Thank you for sharing your story =]


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

marilynjs49 said:


> Please remember, once a gift is truly given, it belongs to the receiver without any attachments by you. They can use or give away because it now belongs to them. I am sure she remembers your kind thoughtfulness and love when she received the gift.


You are right! Thank you for you comment! =]


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

wizardofoz said:


> Face it girls! I am 80 and I do all of this for personal gratification. If I give a gift, I never worry about whether they will use it. I have had my 'fun' making it, picking out something I thought they would like, etc. I have often heard from someone, "It is to nice or pretty to use!" It is their choice now.


That is certainly the right attitude to have! After reading everyone's comments - this seems to be the way we should all think. I agree!!

Thank you for sharing =]


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

BobbieO said:


> When I was a young woman, I had no time for knitting. Family. House, work. You all know how that went. However, I ran the sewing machine a lot. About 1955 I made my mother a beautiful
> caftan. In 1975, after she pass, my daughters and I were cleaning out drawers. One of them found a gift box, and yes you got it....still wrapped in tissue was the caftan. Mother was much taller than I. I cut it off, hemmed it and enjoyed
> waring it for a lot of years, knowing she thought so much of it. Each time I felt her close by, smiling her approval.
> Thanks KP for the memories..


What a great story, thank you for sharing. I'm happy you were able to get it back. And now it brings you fond memories. That's so sweet!


----------



## LinJurm (Aug 4, 2011)

My mother-in-law used to put EVERY present in a drawer - saving grace, it didn't matter who it was from - it went in the drawer. Imagine what treasures that drawer held when, after she died, we went through it! Some kind of sickness I think - not allowing yourself to enjoy things....


----------



## NCOB (Jan 8, 2013)

I have made dish cloths for various people and they have left it in the drawer and the mice ate a hole in it and others have said that it was too pretty to use...so I said you have to baptize it to put it to good use. Some have done just that and others have not... What can I say?


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

AnjiCat said:


> In January 2012, I made a lovely little vest tunic for my niece. She absolutely adores it and wears it regularly still as she seems for the moment at least to be a child who gets taller not wider
> 
> Her mom was amazed at the construction as she'd never seen knitting in the round before and was wondering how I'd hidden the seems and I think was tempted to make it a special occasion only garment until I reassured her that it could go in and out of the washer just fine.
> 
> We got together recently and I was amazed that Briana still hadn't outgrown it so I said to her mom that when she does, send it back and I'll recondition the yarn and re-knit it with some stripes so she can have some more use out of it. She was amazed that that can be done too, bless her :mrgreen:


What a great story!! Thank you so much for sharing! =]


----------



## debsu (Jul 26, 2011)

PaKnitter, I do not blame you at all, if they accepted the gifts, they could at least thank you for them--how RUDE! I too, have step-grandchildren and crocheted and knitted for them, and have always received thank you's. Parents should instruct children, step or otherwise to acknowledge ALL gifts with thank you's, and ESPECIALLY hand made articles!


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

debg05 said:


> Hmmm, my husbands knitted vest falls on the other side of this spectrum. He grew up pretty much in a poor state. His mom made some things, clothes handed down, doing without, etc. I'm assuming a lot of families did, from what I saw of the rural area at visits. But he is extremely mindful of how his clothes look now. He will but cheaply made but "look good" instead of workhorse, if you know what I mean.
> So, when I made my dtr a sweater and he then requested a vest, I happily obliged, though I hated the drab grey and plain stockinette.
> He did wear it once, but mentioned that he thought some one looked at him funny. I know him well enough that his insecurity has taken over.
> So, while he does admire my work, gives me compliments, takes pics and shows off my handiwork at work, he just can't wear anything. Simply because he knows it's homemade. And this is ok because the rest of my family is clamoring for blankets, socks, hats and sweaters. And I need a few things too!


He obviously does love your handiwork. What a great story! Glad to hear that everyone else enjoys your hobby as well. Thanks for sharing! =]


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

Doubledee said:


> Knitted dishcloths that are made of some yarn other than cotton leave too much moisture when used to wipe down the counter, I know because my mother used to crochet and give them to me. But to avoid this problem knit them in cotton. You can squeeze the water out and use them to wipe down counters and tables and they wash dishes really well. I love using them, and so do the people I give them to.


Couldn't agree more! Cotton is always best to use when making dishcloths or washcloths. Thanks for sharing! =]


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

Zie said:


> Please do not take this wrong but I hate dishcloths. I believe they spread germs like nothing else in the kitchen and don't even own one. I know I can't be the only one that feels this way. But I do know she loves the ones you made her. Just let her enjoy them her way.


Ha! You are probably right about the germs. I have so many that I can use a different one every day, so I don't really think about it. I probably should though... I appreciate your comment. =]


----------



## Whippet (Feb 21, 2011)

I would take it as a compliment. My friend has given me hankies that are beautiful. I would never use them to blow my nose. When I see them in my drawer, I have good memories of that friend.


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

deshka said:


> Yup, When my brother's first child was coming there was a baby shower for it. Back then the gender was not known ahead of time. I picked a lavender baby yarn and knit a cute cable sweater for it. and put the buttons on for a girl, she wanted a girl really bad. She had a boy, and another sister in law ask her why she never used the sweater I made for her and she told her because the buttons were on the wrong side. Her next kid was a boy, but the next one was a girl. That sweater never left the box it was in. It was at some point given back to my sister, who never told me. When my sister passed away I cleaned out her apartment and found the box which looked somewhat familiar after all those years, and when I opened it, there was the sweater, just the way I had given it to her so many years before. So, I have one of the first gifts I ever made that was a 'big' one. Hey, it's only been 56 years now, since I made that sweater. It was made of Red Heart baby wool, 100% wool. It's nice yarn.


I prefer wool yarns myself (not for dishcloths... but, just about everything else. I'm spoiled I guess! LOL). I'll bet it was a little hard to see that sweater in the same box it was given in knowing it was never worn.  glad to hear you got it back though. Maybe you'll have the chance to re-give it again.

Thanks for sharing your story =]


----------



## vonnie147 (Jul 4, 2013)

I had friend who gavethem for a gift to each of us redhatters in the group .WE could not wait to get them. Then I learn how tomake them and when people helped me through my three back surgeries I gave them a dish cloth along with thank you card .Some I know used them others I don't know.


----------



## headlemk (Feb 16, 2011)

queenofallcrafts said:


> I prefer wool yarns myself (not for dishcloths... but, just about everything else. I'm spoiled I guess! LOL). I'll bet it was a little hard to see that sweater in the same box it was given in knowing it was never worn.  glad to hear you got it back though. Maybe you'll have the chance to re-give it again.
> 
> Thanks for sharing your story =]


Maybe you could now pass it to that child's child.


----------



## Billings (Dec 29, 2011)

I knitted a lovely shell for my sis. One day while at her house, she was filling up a box to give to Goodwill. Guess what was in it: the lovely shell I knitted for her. I even put my personal label in it. It hurt.


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

Iirishrn said:


> I gave my sisters a gift I made and the comments were: "I don't wear scarves." or "To frilly for me."
> 
> At the moment, they stung a bit. I soon realized that I can only change me and not others. I chose to be grateful that I was able to make them.
> 
> I gave a gift out of love, I can only allow others to be who they are and be how they choose to be.


That is a good way to look at it. You were able to find the good in a stinging situation. That's very wise of you. Thank you for sharing =]


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

funkyknitter said:


> This is a great topic for people like us who make handmade gifts. Sometimes the recipent "saves them for good" and
> won't use them. It's an old tradition that many have inherited from their grandmothers.
> I made my parents a very soft fluffy afghan for their couch.
> My mother scolded my father for taking a nap under it !
> ...


LOL! That's a great story. Isn't it funny how people see things. Kudos to your dad for trying to use it. Thanks for sharing! =]


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

grammi65 said:


> A lot of times I made things for my grandchildren and never saw it on them or ever again.


awww... other members have said the same thing. Maybe next time you can request at least a picture or two of them wearing their handmade items. I'm sure you would like to have that.

Thanks for your comment =]


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

drShe said:


> I am going through all my yarn packing to move. I found a baby's jump suit with snaps I sewed in for diaper changes. The young man is now 6'2" and 15 years old! I think that deserves some kind of boobie prize.


LOL! That's funny. Thanks for sharing =]


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

crafty_grandma56 said:


> I grew up where we wore 'special' dress for Sunday & holidays, used our good china for 'special' occasions only. After I got married, I decided my fine china was too nice, so I hardly used them. After sitting in a box for 38 years and very little use, I decided to take them out and use them. They have big orange flowers on them (hey it was the 70's) and the kids call it retro, the grandkids they think it is cool! My silver is still being used only on 'special' occasions only because they can't go in the dishwasher. So now I no longer keep in the drawer but use them...who else will enjoy it?


That's a great story! I think you're right. It does have to do with how we were raised. One of the other ladies posted a comment "why are you storing it for "safe keeping", it's not like you can take it with you". LOL! That's true! Guess I never thought of it like that. Glad you are using your nice items now.

Thanks for sharing! =]


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

mzmom1 said:


> The comments about keeping nice things in a drawer reminded me of my great-aunt. She showed me a beautiful lawn nightgown with ribbons, lace, and pintucks galore that she had carefully packed away in tissue paper. She was 88 years old at the time. Smiling wryly she said of the gown, "I was saving it to be buried in, but it doesn't look like I'll ever need it." It had been given to her when she was 65!


What a sweet story. That sounds like a lovely gown. Thank you for sharing! =]


----------



## to-cath (Feb 27, 2013)

Or maybe a knitted bath mitt?


misellen said:


> Are you sure that she actually likes to use dishcloths? I don't as I prefer my dish-mop. Rather than gifting her with more dishcloths, why don't you make some pretty facecloths and give them to her with some nice smelling soap for her bathroom?


----------



## headlemk (Feb 16, 2011)

although I have some family that loves what I make for them, many reasons given here are why I knit for charity. THOSE are very happy faces when a needy child gets a sweater for the winter.


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

Hipoldfarmgirl said:


> that is exactly how I was raised, to not use things that are too good and too nice to use. that is how my sister's 3 children acted when I made each a quilt. that is how my grandmother was. And I thought it was just us, til I was touring a house for sale where a WWII Vet and wife had lived and died. In the upstairs, with steep tiny little steps to get there, was a room containing never used christmas presents are stored away neatly and never used. I figured others from the stash had been regifted when Christmas presents were needed. That is how I am, keep everything new in boxes as long as not absolutely needed. Never realized how much of this I did til started running around the house gathering up new unused in wrapper things to donate to Oklahoma tornado victims. In one morning I packed up three big boxes full... only to arrive about 10 minutes late and miss the truck to toledo. I came home and carefully put away everything again, and donated some to Good Will. Then the lady from the church called and said there would be another Oklahoma collection the next week and I could bring my boxes there (I had called the church to let them know I had been there but missed them). I said, "I just unpacked the boxes, I am not going thru all that again." It was a big job.


Sounds like you were just MEANT to have those items! LOL! I agree, I think it's all in how we were raised as far as how we use (or don't use) the gifts we've been given. There's really no harm in this, as long the giver knows how much you appreciate it.

Thanks for sharing! =]


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

sallysilly said:


> My kids don't like anything I knit...So I just knit what I want to put it up and they will like them when I am dead and gone or they will give them away...But, I won't care then. I made each of them a hand made quilt...so far I have one sent back...she isn't into to the colors now...


awww... I'm sorry to hear that. Maybe you could knit for other people or even a worthy charity. Don't give up. I'm sure one day your kids WILL cherish those items.

Thanks for sharing =]


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

Palenque1978 said:


> Nope, never happened to me because I don't knit dishcloths. I mostly knit and gift away socks. I know those are used.


That's great! Stick with what you know will be loved and used. There's nothing like hand knit socks, and your right... everyone enjoys them.

Thanks for sharing! =]


----------



## Nanxy (Feb 25, 2011)

queenofallcrafts said:


> I think you're right! She meant that as a compliment, I'm sure of it. It's not like they took me weeks to complete or anything either. No harm done. She obviously likes them. LOL


I made several dishcloths and gave them to my step mom in another country, two years later when I went back for a visit I found them hanging on the wall of the hallway, when I asked my step mom why she was not using them she told me she wouldn't use them because they were too beautiful to use in the kitchen. Promptly I made her two more while on this visit and made her promise to use them, she started using the last two, but kept the others hanging n the wall. I felt highly complimented.


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

LinJurm said:


> My mother-in-law used to put EVERY present in a drawer - saving grace, it didn't matter who it was from - it went in the drawer. Imagine what treasures that drawer held when, after she died, we went through it! Some kind of sickness I think - not allowing yourself to enjoy things....


That may seem odd to us, but to your mother in law, that was more than likely how she was raised, and was considered "the right thing to do".

My goodness, it must have felt like Christmas morning going through that drawer. How fun!

Thanks for sharing =]


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

Whippet said:


> I would take it as a compliment. My friend has given me hankies that are beautiful. I would never use them to blow my nose. When I see them in my drawer, I have good memories of that friend.


I think that's what matters most. Not so much whether you are actually USING them, just as long as you appreciate them. As you say... those items always bring back fond memories when you look at them. How sweet!!

Thanks for sharing! =]


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

AuntB41 said:


> I once knit a large afghan in a pattern that looked ruffled and later saw it being used as a dog bed. Now that hurts!! Also knit mittens, hats and doll clothes for GD and never saw any of them again. Her mother had frqeuent garage sales, so think that is where they went. I quit knitting for any of them!!


awww... so sorry to hear that! Apparently after reading these comments, it's actually not so unusual. I can't blame you for not wanting to knit for that family again. To me, it just makes more sense making items for peeps that will use them. Although, I do now understand why some people choose to put "treasures" tucked in a drawer. It's not because they don't like it... it's because they love it!

Hopefully, the next item you knit for someone will be something that person will treasure forever. Don't give up hope... there are MANY people out there who would MUCH rather receive a handmade item verses something bought at a store.

Thanks for your comment =]


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

vonnie147 said:


> I had friend who gavethem for a gift to each of us redhatters in the group .WE could not wait to get them. Then I learn how tomake them and when people helped me through my three back surgeries I gave them a dish cloth along with thank you card .Some I know used them others I don't know.


I'm sure that everyone that received your special gift loves it!! It also nice to hear that you took the time to write out "thank yous". That's a rarity in todays world...

Thank you for your comment =]


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

Billings said:


> I knitted a lovely shell for my sis. One day while at her house, she was filling up a box to give to Goodwill. Guess what was in it: the lovely shell I knitted for her. I even put my personal label in it. It hurt.


OUCH!! I'll bet that did hurt. I'll bet next time you make her something, you'll get her approval first. I think that's what I'm going to do. That way I'll know for sure if she/he will like it.

Thanks for sharing =]


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

headlemk said:


> although I have some family that loves what I make for them, many reasons given here are why I knit for charity. THOSE are very happy faces when a needy child gets a sweater for the winter.


Yes, and I'll bet that is so rewarding for you. I'm going to do some searching myself on charities and see about knitting/crocheting needed items.

Great photo! And great story! Thanks for sharing! =]


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

Nanxy said:


> I made several dishcloths and gave them to my step mom in another country, two years later when I went back for a visit I found them hanging on the wall of the hallway, when I asked my step mom why she was not using them she told me she wouldn't use them because they were too beautiful to use in the kitchen. Promptly I made her two more while on this visit and made her promise to use them, she started using the last two, but kept the others hanging n the wall. I felt highly complimented.


That's so sweet!! I'm glad you decided to make her more while you were there. If I'd seen my items hung on a way to display to everyone... I would take that as a huge compliment too! Great story! Thanks for sharing =]


----------



## headlemk (Feb 16, 2011)

queenofallcrafts said:


> Yes, and I'll bet that is so rewarding for you. I'm going to do some searching myself on charities and see about knitting/crocheting needed items.
> 
> Great photo! And great story! Thanks for sharing! =]


My knitting group makes sure when we donate these items we go personally to the receiving group and put the sweater on each child...making sure it fits and all. It's a real treat for them. We don't do the same groups every year, but if we happen to repeat a few years later, they remember. We also make dresses and vests and distribute in February and March for Easter


----------



## marina1109 (Jan 23, 2013)

I knitted my aunt an afghan for Christmas. A yr went by and I asked her if she had used it she said yes. But on another occasion I asked her again, and she said "oh no, it's way too nice to use, I don't want it to get ruined" I told her not to worry about it getting ruined I could always knit her another one. 
I think she put it away and has no idea where, so she always gives me excuses of why she hasn't used it. Needless to say I never knit anything for her anymore.


----------



## Hipoldfarmgirl (Jun 6, 2013)

I, too had a lovely quilt Christmas present returned by a daughter. It was a wool filled duvet comforter with beautiful rainbow log cabin and piano keys design. Her sister threw it in the washer and dryer and the wool batting shrunk from queen to crib size. Other daughter who washed it just loves it, uses it all the time and says how warm it is (that is, if you huddle up under the extra warm part but don't stretch yourself out beyond that). I am surprised my washer and dryer handled the heavy heavy load.


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

headlemk said:


> My knitting group makes sure when we donate these items we go personally to the receiving group and put the sweater on each child...making sure it fits and all. It's a real treat for them. We don't do the same groups every year, but if we happen to repeat a few years later, they remember. We also make dresses and vests and distribute in February and March for Easter


Wow! Now, that's going above and beyond - how wonderful. I love how the donator receives a photo of the child wearing their sweater!

Can you send me more information about your group?

Thank you for your comment! =]


----------



## TeeneeBee (Jun 14, 2013)

It occurs to me that a lot of the saving for best came from a time before mass production of man-made materials like nylon, or from wartime rationing. Also, how many of us can still hear our mothers shouting at us that we don't deserve anything nice because we don't look after things?

I think also that nowadays people just have too much stuff and regularly have to go through and de-clutter so as not to be swamped by possessions. 

This thread has reminded me of my two favourite items of clothing from childhood. One was a Ladybird brand dressing gown; it was red fleecy material with buttons shaped like little ladybirds (ladybugs). The other was a cardigan my grandmother made for me for my first day of school when I was 4. I was over the moon that someone I loved made me a cardigan, actually made it specially for me! I was still wearing it till I was around 10 and I can still see it now.


----------



## headlemk (Feb 16, 2011)

queenofallcrafts said:


> Wow! Now, that's going above and beyond - how wonderful. I love how the donator receives a photo of the child wearing their sweater!
> 
> Can you send me more information about your group?
> 
> Thank you for your comment! =]


We are a 50+ year old social club here in Ajijic, Mexico called Needlepushers. We have about 12-14 active members year around and our numbers swell to about 25-30 when the "snowbirds" arrive from Northern USA and Canada. We also have absentee members who knit or sew in the USA or Canada and send the garments down with friends when they come down from traveling back home.

We are affiliated with the Lake Chapala Society, an expat organization founded by Neill James. Needlepushers was established in memory of her mother, who was a knitter. We knit sweaters and sew dresses and vests for the local needy children ages kindergarten through 4th grade. Last year we distributed 189 sweaters and 260 dresses and 60 vests (the vests are a new addition). We accept donations of yarns which are easy care, mostly acrylic...many of these mothers do not have washing machines and use the old washing rub-board only it's made out of cement and lovingly called a "Mexican Maytag". So we don't want the garment to felt. Sewing materials must be easy care...usually polyester, cotton and cotton blends and light and bright colors are preferred. We also take donations of thread, zippers, lace, buttons, small buckles for the vests. If anyone ever wants to donate any items we have members coming and going into the US and Canada all year around and we can make arrangements for pick up or give you an address where you can mail any donated items, whether a finished garment or supplies.

Since we are a social club and not a registered charity, we cannot give you a receipt for tax purposes, but we're more than happy to take what you no longer want.


----------



## Easter Bunni (Jul 4, 2013)

My heart aches for all of you whose work has not been appreciated/acknowledged or used after spending so much energy, love and money on your special projects. Sometimes when we want to do something special for someone, impress them, or share our talents we forget the tastes and sensibilities of the recipient. Having 19 grandchildren from ages 4 to mid-20s, I've learned that our tastes don't always coincide.... color, style, fabric (I'd never use wool for a baby's sweater for instance); One of my daughters said the girls don't need anymore scarves.. looking around at what young girls and women are wearing... not many knitted stuff. So, perhaps we should share pictures/patterns with our family and friends to see what it is that turns them on. I love dishcloths and some of my family does, too, but have a few dishcloths scorned is certainly not as hurtful as having sweaters, afghans, etc. spurned that took hours and $$ to create, not to mention energy. Sometimes we create our own heartbreak. Just speak up and ask what they like, what they want and what colors.. I have a wonderful DIL whose color esthetic is the complete opposite of mine.... I would never think of making anything for her in blue/violets (which I happen to love).. 

Sorry for going on so... but have been following this all day (too hot out to do anything outside - mid 90s) and have been thinking about it. It' my first post, even tho' I've been following for several weeks; hope it goes thru. Ciao for now!


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

marina1109 said:


> I knitted my aunt an afghan for Christmas. A yr went by and I asked her if she had used it she said yes. But on another occasion I asked her again, and she said "oh no, it's way too nice to use, I don't want it to get ruined" I told her not to worry about it getting ruined I could always knit her another one.
> I think she put it away and has no idea where, so she always gives me excuses of why she hasn't used it. Needless to say I never knit anything for her anymore.


Oh my... so many hours in a knitted afghan. I'm sure that stung a bit. I can't imagine how you must of felt. Maybe your next big project like that... you should keep it yourself! LOL. Or, I'm sure there are many charities accepting blankets for a good cause.

I think most knitters (and crocheters!) knit/crochet because we enjoy it and love it so much, we don't think twice about making a "treasure" for someone. We're just happy to have a new project to work on, right? And it does hurt when you find out later that your handiwork was tossed to the side without a care. Very unfortunate, but it does happen. 

Thanks for sharing =]


----------



## headlemk (Feb 16, 2011)

I made a beautiful Tree of Life baby blanket for my step-son's newest child. Since he and his father (my DH) are estranged at the moment, I have no idea if this child will be given this blanket or not. I just know that I knitted love and prayers into every stitch, sent it on and whatever they do with it is none of my business. I have a 3-yo great-niece that really loves the little things I make for her. Makes all the difference.


----------



## -MissMillie- (Apr 8, 2013)

Lefemmefran, 
I agree. I have several that I Made but I don't like them for wiping surfaces for the same reason.


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

Hipoldfarmgirl said:


> I, too had a lovely quilt Christmas present returned by a daughter. It was a wool filled duvet comforter with beautiful rainbow log cabin and piano keys design. Her sister threw it in the washer and dryer and the wool batting shrunk from queen to crib size. Other daughter who washed it just loves it, uses it all the time and says how warm it is (that is, if you huddle up under the extra warm part but don't stretch yourself out beyond that). I am surprised my washer and dryer handled the heavy heavy load.


Well, at least it's getting used, and she loves it. Even though it's not exactly in the same shape it was when originally given. You can rest assured on cold evenings she's snuggling underneath it. =]

Thanks for sharing! =]


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

TeeneeBee said:


> It occurs to me that a lot of the saving for best came from a time before mass production of man-made materials like nylon, or from wartime rationing. Also, how many of us can still hear our mothers shouting at us that we don't deserve anything nice because we don't look after things?
> 
> I think also that nowadays people just have too much stuff and regularly have to go through and de-clutter so as not to be swamped by possessions.
> 
> This thread has reminded me of my two favourite items of clothing from childhood. One was a Ladybird brand dressing gown; it was red fleecy material with buttons shaped like little ladybirds (ladybugs). The other was a cardigan my grandmother made for me for my first day of school when I was 4. I was over the moon that someone I loved made me a cardigan, actually made it specially for me! I was still wearing it till I was around 10 and I can still see it now.


awww that is so sweet!! I too can remember some of my favorite sweaters and dresses. My mom used to sew dresses for my sister and I, and then we would always get a hand knit sweater at Christmas. I still don't know where she ever found the time to make something so special just for us.

Thanks for sharing you story! =]


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

headlemk said:


> We are a 50+ year old social club here in Ajijic, Mexico called Needlepushers. We have about 12-14 active members year around and our numbers swell to about 25-30 when the "snowbirds" arrive from Northern USA and Canada. We also have absentee members who knit or sew in the USA or Canada and send the garments down with friends when they come down from traveling back home.
> 
> We are affiliated with the Lake Chapala Society, an expat organization founded by Neill James. Needlepushers was established in memory of her mother, who was a knitter. We knit sweaters and sew dresses and vests for the local needy children ages kindergarten through 4th grade. Last year we distributed 189 sweaters and 260 dresses and 60 vests (the vests are a new addition). We accept donations of yarns which are easy care, mostly acrylic...many of these mothers do not have washing machines and use the old washing rub-board only it's made out of cement and lovingly called a "Mexican Maytag". So we don't want the garment to felt. Sewing materials must be easy care...usually polyester, cotton and cotton blends and light and bright colors are preferred. We also take donations of thread, zippers, lace, buttons, small buckles for the vests. If anyone ever wants to donate any items we have members coming and going into the US and Canada all year around and we can make arrangements for pick up or give you an address where you can mail any donated items, whether a finished garment or supplies.
> 
> Since we are a social club and not a registered charity, we cannot give you a receipt for tax purposes, but we're more than happy to take what you no longer want.


Thank you! Hopefully other members will see this post as well. =]


----------



## to-cath (Feb 27, 2013)

When my god-daughter was small, I sewed and knitted for her. The Christmas gift I created for her, when she was just over two was greeted with "Sank you much,Caffie". The following Spring, someone complimented her on a dress I had made for her. Her reply?---"My Caffie make it!" Needless, I've continuesd to create items for her, as she seems to treasure these gifts--maybe NOT "treasure"---she actually uses things until they fall apart! I don't make anything for her, now, without consulting her, as she's now 17, and has her own taste and style.


----------



## pfjenson (Feb 24, 2012)

i made my bff some crocheted magic square potholders and she will not use them because she doesn't want to get them dirty--i realize it is her choice but i doubt i will make her another gift just because of that


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

Easter Bunni said:


> My heart aches for all of you whose work has not been appreciated/acknowledged or used after spending so much energy, love and money on your special projects. Sometimes when we want to do something special for someone, impress them, or share our talents we forget the tastes and sensibilities of the recipient. Having 19 grandchildren from ages 4 to mid-20s, I've learned that our tastes don't always coincide.... color, style, fabric (I'd never use wool for a baby's sweater for instance); One of my daughters said the girls don't need anymore scarves.. looking around at what young girls and women are wearing... not many knitted stuff. So, perhaps we should share pictures/patterns with our family and friends to see what it is that turns them on. I love dishcloths and some of my family does, too, but have a few dishcloths scorned is certainly not as hurtful as having sweaters, afghans, etc. spurned that took hours and $$ to create, not to mention energy. Sometimes we create our own heartbreak. Just speak up and ask what they like, what they want and what colors.. I have a wonderful DIL whose color esthetic is the complete opposite of mine.... I would never think of making anything for her in blue/violets (which I happen to love)..
> 
> Sorry for going on so... but have been following this all day (too hot out to do anything outside - mid 90s) and have been thinking about it. It' my first post, even tho' I've been following for several weeks; hope it goes thru. Ciao for now!


I agree!! All the stories about afghans, quilts, and sweaters, and other larger projects (than my silly dishcloths - LOL!!) just being tossed out or not even receiving a THANK YOU. That's just mind-boggling to me. The only thing I can think, is most of these peeps must not know the hours, and money spent on these projects. I don't know... pretty darn rude if you ask me. It's like they don't appreciate the fact that someone made something special just for them?

Thanks for watching my post all day!! It's taken me all day to reply to everyone! LOL! I'm thrilled that so many peeps opened up with their stories. That includes you as well! Thanks for sharing! =]


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

headlemk said:


> I made a beautiful Tree of Life baby blanket for my step-son's newest child. Since he and his father (my DH) are estranged at the moment, I have no idea if this child will be given this blanket or not. I just know that I knitted love and prayers into every stitch, sent it on and whatever they do with it is none of my business. I have a 3-yo great-niece that really loves the little things I make for her. Makes all the difference.


That's really nice of you. I'm sure it will make it to your step son's newest baby. But, now you can concentrate on your great niece! Thank you for sharing =]


----------



## jwanne (Nov 18, 2012)

When my mother died, I found a blouse that I had made for her in the box with tissue paper as I had sent it to her. I was so hurt and told my sister so. She was shocked that that was what I felt. She said when my mother told people that I had made her a blouse, her face glowed. She felt loved. She treasured what I had made for her and did with it as she pleased. That's enough for me.
Joanne


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

to-cath said:


> When my god-daughter was small, I sewed and knitted for her. The Christmas gift I created for her, when she was just over two was greeted with "Sank you much,Caffie". The following Spring, someone complimented her on a dress I had made for her. Her reply?---"My Caffie make it!" Needless, I've continuesd to create items for her, as she seems to treasure these gifts--maybe NOT "treasure"---she actually uses things until they fall apart! I don't make anything for her, now, without consulting her, as she's now 17, and has her own taste and style.


Great story!! I'll be she too has fond memories of all the items you've made for her. My niece called me "Kaffe" too! Cutest thing I've ever heard in my life! LOL

Good idea about consulting her first now that she is older and has different tastes and styles.

Thanks for sharing! =]


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

jwanne said:


> When my mother died, I found a blouse that I had made for her in the box with tissue paper as I had sent it to her. I was so hurt and told my sister so. She was shocked that that was what I felt. She said when my mother told people that I had made her a blouse, her face glowed. She felt loved. She treasured what I had made for her and did with it as she pleased. That's enough for me.
> Joanne


Yes, she truly loved your blouse so much that she treasured it and kept it safe. I'm glad you told your sister about this, or you may still be upset. What a great story! Thank you for sharing =]


----------



## JTM (Nov 18, 2012)

queenofallcrafts said:


> Hello! (This is a pet peeve of mine, I am curious if this has happened to anyone else...)
> 
> Last year for Christmas I made my bff 3 fun knitted dishcloths (nothing fancy, very basic). She doesn't have a dishwasher so I thought... perfect! Right?? WRONG!
> 
> ...


Kathy, she may have really meant that they were too pretty to use as a dish cloth. I, too, would have a problem using something that had been hand knitted just to wash dishes.
Jane


----------



## Raynecloud (Jan 27, 2011)

I make them to sell through a museum consignment shop. One on staff person bought several but has yet to use them as she also says they are too pretty.


----------



## kiwi11 (Jul 27, 2011)

queenofallcrafts said:


> Hello! (This is a pet peeve of mine, I am curious if this has happened to anyone else...)
> 
> Last year for Christmas I made my bff 3 fun knitted dishcloths (nothing fancy, very basic). She doesn't have a dishwasher so I thought... perfect! Right?? WRONG!
> 
> ...


If you gave a small soap with the cloths-then they could be face washers as well/instead??


----------



## mackmd4 (Jul 16, 2011)

Please do not be hurt by the fact that your bff has put the dishcloths in the drawer as they are too pretty to use. I go through the same scenario especially when making things or buying lovely china cups/saucers for my dear departed Mum. I know she treasured them all and as she worked so hard all through her life to bring up 8 children, these gifts were her treasures (to do with as she liked) so she kept them in her china cabinet. My Mum has been deceased some 20 years and as we 4 daughters inherited all Mum's crocheting, knitting and beautiful china, we all decided that we would use it. So when we have our friends over for a cuppa, we know that Mum is also there sitting around the table because she really did enjoy a nice cuppa in a lovely china teacup. So don't be sad, because deep down your bff will use them in time and you do know she loves them.


----------



## mzmom1 (Mar 4, 2011)

That's a great first post, Bunni! I totally agree with you about choosing for the taste of the recipient. Like you, I love blue, any shade from blue-green to blue-violet, but for my DIL I would choose neutrals, red, or yellow. Just the opposite! I let her choose what she wanted me to make her for her birthday and even went to the yarn store and used FaceTime to let her see the yarn choices and pick out what she liked. So...no surprise this year, but also, no anxiety about whether she'll like her gift. :thumbup:


----------



## carolyn4 (Mar 20, 2013)

Hello! (This is a pet peeve of mine, I am curious if this has happened to anyone else...)
just curious...
Kathy
--------------------------------------------------------------
Kathy, 
I never thought of it the way you put it, as a gift that is. I have received several hand made dish clothes over the years, and really love them. But I've never used them to wash dishes, BUT as doilies or a mat to use under things. But they are used. I also agree that you should take it a compliment, because they are a beautiful piece of work.
God Bless, 
Carolyn4


----------



## TallTrees (Jan 16, 2012)

Wait till you make a quilted baby blanket and give it to your new niece at a baby shower. She sells it on e-bay before the baby even gets to see it. I consider that a real slap in the face.


----------



## Bombshellknits (Feb 2, 2013)

Earlier I started to say that I knit two baby things recently and put washing instructions in, and also said to USE the item. I said that I would be more than happy to make more, and that they just had to ask.

EVERY night I cover up with an afghan my grandmother made me, and another my aunt made me. The one is easily from 1980. I also use the crochet bedspread my grandmother made. I would probably go into my burning house for those things, and my pets. To me, it's wonderful to have my aunt and grandmother with me every night. I was way closer to them than I ever was to my mother. And I miss them a lot. I think the two afghans are Red Heart, which is pretty indestructible. I'm careful with the bedspread.


----------



## Bombshellknits (Feb 2, 2013)

TallTrees said:


> Wait till you make a quilted baby blanket and give it to your new niece at a baby shower. She sells it on e-bay before the baby even gets to see it. I consider that a real slap in the face.


No kidding? That's the worst thing I have ever heard!! I don't think I would ever buy or make her another gift as long as I lived.


----------



## Bombshellknits (Feb 2, 2013)

Those of you who are hurt when your hand made items don't get worn or used, don't be hurt. Of course, if they are sold on ebay, that's just mean. But, if people treasure them so much they just store them, you should be flatter. They want to keep those gifts forever. They have no clue you may be hurt. They look at your items as something they could NEVER make themselves, like a Louis Comfort Tiffany lamp, it is to be save, looked at now and then, and kept pristine forever. It really is a compliment, even tho it doesn't feel like one.


----------



## inishowen (May 28, 2011)

This is all food for thought. I have two cashmere sweaters in my wardrobe, which I won in a competition 10 years ago. I've worn them maybe twice, because they have to be hand washed and dried flat. Well, today they're going in the washing machine on the hand wash cycle and they can sink or swim! If they can be washed in the machine I will start wearing them and enjoying them.


----------



## ragosto (Jun 25, 2013)

Hi, everyone. I had an aunt who make almost all the clothes my sister and I had. I remember one skirt in particular. It was black with a neon green stipe and then more black at the bottom. When I twirled, the skirt would go up. I wore it until it didn't fit. I asked her to make it longer, which she did by putting a pink strip and more black for the bottom. My sister wanted it and I didn't want to let it go. I don't know why my aunt made only one. Finally it couldn't be fixed, so my sister got it. I was about 9 at the time and still remember it. Another aunt would knit sweaters for us. I still remember a red one with cables. Now I am trying to learn to knit.
I have given gifts I bought for people. Many times they didn't like what I bought. I decided to have each person write a list of five things they want for Christmas and birthdays. Now they like what they get much more.
Roselyn


----------



## needlelark (Apr 14, 2011)

inishowen said:


> This is all food for thought. I have two cashmere sweaters in my wardrobe, which I won in a competition 10 years ago. I've worn them maybe twice, because they have to be hand washed and dried flat. Well, today they're going in the washing machine on the hand wash cycle and they can sink or swim! If they can be washed in the machine I will start wearing them and enjoying them.


Wash them on the coolest setting then dry them on the coolest setting in your dryer...I do mine together and spend a little bit of extra electricity money on a three quarter of an hour spin (eek...)...but it works. Have had the sweaters three years now and they come up smiling every time!


----------



## PaKnitter (Mar 7, 2011)

TallTrees said:


> Wait till you make a quilted baby blanket and give it to your new niece at a baby shower. She sells it on e-bay before the baby even gets to see it. I consider that a real slap in the face.


OMG!!!!!


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

pfjenson said:


> i made my bff some crocheted magic square potholders and she will not use them because she doesn't want to get them dirty--i realize it is her choice but i doubt i will make her another gift just because of that


I felt the same way... one of the suggestions on this thread was to make some for her that were real ugly (mismatched colors, mistakes... just not so pretty), then she'll be more likely to use it cause she wont mind getting it dirty. LOL. She'll see how they do launder just fine. And of course, assure her if they do wear out... you'd be happy to make her more. =]

That's what I'm going to do =] (well THAT... or make her so many she'll HAVE to start using them! LOL!!)


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

JTM said:


> Kathy, she may have really meant that they were too pretty to use as a dish cloth. I, too, would have a problem using something that had been hand knitted just to wash dishes.
> Jane


LOL... Really? Maybe it's because I've been using them for so long, and have never saw them (no matter how pretty) as something "to nice to use". But, after reading everyone's replies... I do see now that her comment and sincerity was actually a big compliment!! 

Thanks for sharing =]


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

Raynecloud said:


> I make them to sell through a museum consignment shop. One on staff person bought several but has yet to use them as she also says they are too pretty.


Oooooh you are lucky to have a consignment shop in your area!!! :lol:

Maybe you should frame some of your dishcloths for those that buy them simply, to look at. That was one of the suggestions on this post. I thought that was a good idea, especially since the ones I made for my bff were colors to match her kitchen.

Thanks for sharing! =]


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

kiwi11 said:


> If you gave a small soap with the cloths-then they could be face washers as well/instead??


Ya know, a few other gals mentioned that. I think it's a wonderful idea! She'll get to feel how soft and luxurious they feel when soapy, and see how they launder nicely. She might be more apt to try out her dishcloths. =]

Fabulous idea! Thanks for sharing =]


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

mackmd4 said:


> Please do not be hurt by the fact that your bff has put the dishcloths in the drawer as they are too pretty to use. I go through the same scenario especially when making things or buying lovely china cups/saucers for my dear departed Mum. I know she treasured them all and as she worked so hard all through her life to bring up 8 children, these gifts were her treasures (to do with as she liked) so she kept them in her china cabinet. My Mum has been deceased some 20 years and as we 4 daughters inherited all Mum's crocheting, knitting and beautiful china, we all decided that we would use it. So when we have our friends over for a cuppa, we know that Mum is also there sitting around the table because she really did enjoy a nice cuppa in a lovely china teacup. So don't be sad, because deep down your bff will use them in time and you do know she loves them.


awww what a great story about your Mum! And, yes... after reading many other posts saying I should take this as a compliment, I am. Anyways... it's only a few dishcloths, no harm done at all. =]

Thanks for sharing your sweet story! =]


----------



## Sledladyanne (Dec 15, 2011)

DollieD said:


> Kathy,
> I think I should tell you something about country folk.
> After my father's death (my Mom had died 6 years prior)
> 'the girls' (we 7 sisters) were to go through everything and put in piles of keep, donate, etc. It was amazing to see how many gifts they had that had never been used, for the very reason your friend gave you. Little notes were tucked in saying, 'someday, we'll need this', or 'way too nice for everyday use'.
> For that very reason, I use , wear, handle, anything that anyone is thoughtful enough to gift me. But I sincerely believe she did not mean to hurt you. She does feel that way. Just too nice!


I agree whole heartedly!!! In cleaning out my mom's house we found so much that had never been used and "saved for good". I have felt that there was no point in sticking things in a drawer and never using them. Why not enjoy those things while you can. In a way it is kind of sad! Mom didn't enjoy them - but I sure am!


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

carolyn4 said:


> Hello! (This is a pet peeve of mine, I am curious if this has happened to anyone else...)
> just curious...
> Kathy
> --------------------------------------------------------------
> ...


Yep, I am! Other ladies mentioned they too don't use dishcloths to wash dishes but they DO use them for doilies and candle mats etc... I'm definitely going to offer her those suggestions. If she's not going to use them for dishes... she'll love these ideas.

Thank you for sharing! =]


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

TallTrees said:


> Wait till you make a quilted baby blanket and give it to your new niece at a baby shower. She sells it on e-bay before the baby even gets to see it. I consider that a real slap in the face.


WHAT!!?? omg... that IS a slap in the face! Your NIECE did that??? You know, if she wasn't crazy about the colors or maybe it wasn't the "theme" she wanted for the nursery... she still should have kept it as a "play quilt" or something, simply because YOU made it!! I'm sooooo sorry that happened to you. I'll bet you have not made her anything since.

Here's one thing that may help you feel better about this... if she sold it on eBay... your beautiful quilt was bought by someone who absolutely LOVES it!! And, I'll bet it gets used and cherished everyday!! :thumbup:

I personally am always searching eBay for handmade quilts to give as gifts for someone special. I'm not the only one. You remember that, ok? Your thoughtful gift may be in someone else's hands... but I can assure you, they LOVE that quilt!!!

Thank you for sharing =]


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

Bombshellknits said:


> Earlier I started to say that I knit two baby things recently and put washing instructions in, and also said to USE the item. I said that I would be more than happy to make more, and that they just had to ask.
> 
> EVERY night I cover up with an afghan my grandmother made me, and another my aunt made me. The one is easily from 1980. I also use the crochet bedspread my grandmother made. I would probably go into my burning house for those things, and my pets. To me, it's wonderful to have my aunt and grandmother with me every night. I was way closer to them than I ever was to my mother. And I miss them a lot. I think the two afghans are Red Heart, which is pretty indestructible. I'm careful with the bedspread.


That's a great story about your afghan and bedspread. Thank you for sharing it. And I love your idea to include washing instructions with your gift. That would add a little more assurance that your item will get used. =]


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

Bombshellknits said:


> Those of you who are hurt when your hand made items don't get worn or used, don't be hurt. Of course, if they are sold on ebay, that's just mean. But, if people treasure them so much they just store them, you should be flatter. They want to keep those gifts forever. They have no clue you may be hurt. They look at your items as something they could NEVER make themselves, like a Louis Comfort Tiffany lamp, it is to be save, looked at now and then, and kept pristine forever. It really is a compliment, even tho it doesn't feel like one.


Yes, I have seen the light. And absolutely do realize she meant this as a compliment. There's been so many posts similar to yours, and I do see it this way now. In fact, I'm tickled-pink that she doesn't want to use them because they are too pretty. But, I am going to offer her other suggestions for use, rather than having them sit in her drawer. Such as a doily or candle mat.

Thanks for sharing =]


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

inishowen said:


> This is all food for thought. I have two cashmere sweaters in my wardrobe, which I won in a competition 10 years ago. I've worn them maybe twice, because they have to be hand washed and dried flat. Well, today they're going in the washing machine on the hand wash cycle and they can sink or swim! If they can be washed in the machine I will start wearing them and enjoying them.


Oh my gosh... please keep us posted about this! I hope it works!! I've never owned a cashmere sweater, so I have no idea how they launder. I don't think I'd put it in the dryer though.

Keep us posted! Thanks for sharing =]


----------



## headlemk (Feb 16, 2011)

TallTrees said:


> Wait till you make a quilted baby blanket and give it to your new niece at a baby shower. She sells it on e-bay before the baby even gets to see it. I consider that a real slap in the face.


If it had been my niece, and I found it on eBay in time, I would have bought it and made sure it was on display in my home when she came to visit.


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

ragosto said:


> Hi, everyone. I had an aunt who make almost all the clothes my sister and I had. I remember one skirt in particular. It was black with a neon green stipe and then more black at the bottom. When I twirled, the skirt would go up. I wore it until it didn't fit. I asked her to make it longer, which she did by putting a pink strip and more black for the bottom. My sister wanted it and I didn't want to let it go. I don't know why my aunt made only one. Finally it couldn't be fixed, so my sister got it. I was about 9 at the time and still remember it. Another aunt would knit sweaters for us. I still remember a red one with cables. Now I am trying to learn to knit.
> I have given gifts I bought for people. Many times they didn't like what I bought. I decided to have each person write a list of five things they want for Christmas and birthdays. Now they like what they get much more.
> Roselyn


What a fun story about your skirt! Such fond memories. I wonder if your sister still has it?

Glad to hear you are starting to knit! Maybe some day you can make yourself another red sweater with cables. =]

Good idea getting everyone to write down 5 things they'd like to have. You can never go wrong getting them something they've asked for. =]

Thanks for sharing =]


----------



## 3DogMom (May 7, 2013)

misellen said:


> Every time I see that a dog is using an afghan I think about the dogs in shelters who don't have soft beds. I have no problem with seeing a dog or cat snuggled up in an afghan.
> 
> i have several that I have made and usually end up sharing them with my Jack Russel who seems to think that anything knit or crochet belongs to him. Since I live alone with just Clancy (the JR) and my cat Punky (who does not like to snuggle) they are like my babies.


That is so sweet! Thank you for a lovely post and for responding to all of our thoughts and comments. You are a lovely person.


----------



## inishowen (May 28, 2011)

needlelark said:


> Wash them on the coolest setting then dry them on the coolest setting in your dryer...I do mine together and spend a little bit of extra electricity money on a three quarter of an hour spin (eek...)...but it works. Have had the sweaters three years now and they come up smiling every time!


thanks for your advice. I'm about to do it! I have a very old dryer which only has a time control, no heat settings, so I won't risk putting them in it. The weather is nice so I'm going to dry them flat in the garden.


----------



## Aunt Nay (Nov 25, 2011)

QueenofAllCrafts, I love the afghan in your avatar!! Can you share the pattern? It is just so cheerful!


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

Aunt Nay said:


> QueenofAllCrafts, I love the afghan in your avatar!! Can you share the pattern? It is just so cheerful!


Thank you so much! =]

Yes, this pattern is available in Etsy store http://www.etsy.com/shop/QueenOfAllCrafts for just $3.99. It's called "Celestial Wonders" and also comes with pattern to make: Sun, Moon, and Star shaped pillows!! It is currently listed as an instant download... but can be shipped to your home as well. =]

Thanks again! This afghan is an instant mood lifter! Photo of cover below. ENJOY!!!


----------



## sharon.quinn824 (Nov 15, 2012)

I made 2 knitted hooded blanket for my twin great nieces that, can be wrapped 5 different ways.My niece said ooh, but I have yet to see a pic posted with them using them. I see many pics of them. It does make you feel unappreciated. It was something new for me.


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

sharon.quinn824 said:


> I made 2 knitted hooded blanket for my twin great nieces that, can be wrapped 5 different ways.My niece said ooh, but I have yet to see a pic posted with them using them. I see many pics of them. It does make you feel unappreciated. It was something new for me.


Yes, I agree. Maybe you could request a photo of your nieces wrapped in your fun hooded blankets. Just tell them it's for your scrapbook, I'm sure they'll send you a photo.

That sounds like a real fun pattern, and useful too!

Thanks for sharing =]


----------



## cheyenne620 (Apr 17, 2012)

I made several dishcloths and gave my daughter a choice of which ones she wanted. She showed my son-in-law what I had made. When he asked what they were, she said "They are dishcloths, but I am going to use them as hot pads. They are to nice to be used as dishcloths." But I thought at least she will be using them and the dishcloths will not be stuck in a draw!


----------



## AnjiCat (Dec 6, 2011)

cheyenne620 said:


> I made several dishcloths and gave my daughter a choice of which ones she wanted. She showed my son-in-law what I had made. When he asked what they were, she said "They are dishcloths, but I am going to use them as hot pads. They are to nice to be used as dishcloths." But I thought at least she will be using them and the dishcloths will not be stuck in a draw!


If it's any consolation all my dishcloths do double duty as hot pads/cloths as for the life of me I have never got on with oven mitts :mrgreen:


----------



## knitwit2111 (Jul 5, 2013)

I know how you feel - I knit my two nieces each a sweater vest for Christmas years ago. Money was tight but I wanted to do something nice for them. Shortly after Christmas I went to the thrift store in their town and found both the vests for sale - tossed in a box with other donations. Last time I ever made them anything.


----------



## reborn knitter (Apr 7, 2013)

I think a lot of us wait to see the gift we've given enjoyed by the recipient. I have to admit I have received things and put them away because I, too, am saving it for "something special". When I first started working and had money to spend I surprised my Mom with a beautiful tablecloth and napkin set. After her death many yrs. later I found it in the box in the bottom of the linen closet.Know where it is now? You got it- boxed in the bottom of MY linen closet! I may yet use it but one of my daughters will probably find it right where it is. Maybe that is how so many old knit and crochet items have survived-loved and appreciated just not used.


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

cheyenne620 said:


> I made several dishcloths and gave my daughter a choice of which ones she wanted. She showed my son-in-law what I had made. When he asked what they were, she said "They are dishcloths, but I am going to use them as hot pads. They are to nice to be used as dishcloths." But I thought at least she will be using them and the dishcloths will not be stuck in a draw!


Yes, that's good! Doesn't really matter what/how they get used, as long as they are using them, they will get joy out of them.

Great story! Thanks for sharing =]


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

knitwit2111 said:


> I know how you feel - I knit my two nieces each a sweater vest for Christmas years ago. Money was tight but I wanted to do something nice for them. Shortly after Christmas I went to the thrift store in their town and found both the vests for sale - tossed in a box with other donations. Last time I ever made them anything.


awwww... I'll bet you were crushed to see them tossed away like that. You knit those sweaters with love, even on a tight budget. Well, hopefully the next owner will get lots of use out of them.

I can't imagine doing something like this. From many of the previous posts... apparently this happens quite a bit. Such a shame.

Thanks for sharing =]


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

reborn knitter said:


> I think a lot of us wait to see the gift we've given enjoyed by the recipient. I have to admit I have received things and put them away because I, too, am saving it for "something special". When I first started working and had money to spend I surprised my Mom with a beautiful tablecloth and napkin set. After her death many yrs. later I found it in the box in the bottom of the linen closet.Know where it is now? You got it- boxed in the bottom of MY linen closet! I may yet use it but one of my daughters will probably find it right where it is. Maybe that is how so many old knit and crochet items have survived-loved and appreciated just not used.


That's a beautiful way of putting it, and I think you're right... some things just mean so much to have in your possession you don't dare let anything happen to it.

You mentioned your daughters will probably find it... maybe you should put a handwritten note inside that box that explains who made it, and how it became in your possession. Then your girls will know how truly special it is. Sounds like a "family heirloom" that could easily be passed down many generations.

Great story!! Thanks for sharing =]


----------



## jmewin (Oct 18, 2012)

I would take it as a compliment.


----------



## run4fittness (May 22, 2011)

I know some of the things I knit and crochet do not get used but a lot does. I try to only send what I think they will use/wear. I know afghans go over big for most of hubby's family so they all have them! Some have more than one per their request! I dare say she meant it as a compliment. I gave a sister-in-law a shawl and she thought it was too pretty to wear! I told her I made it to be worn and since she lives in Florida it was a very lacy design more for looks than warmth!


----------



## Safeya (Feb 2, 2013)

I love the knitted dishcloths - but I know some people don't - some are sponge lovers and can't think about any kind of dishcloth. I had a friend give me some that someone made for her because she uses sponges. Yuck! a dirty sponge doesn't even compare to a wonderful knitted dishcloth!


----------



## mirium (May 14, 2013)

musing crow said:


> I made a lovely lace scarf for one friend and I have never seen her use it - and it makes me want to ask her why not, but then again I GAVE it to her, so I can't police her using it can I? It hurts a bit, but maybe she just does not want to wear scarfs? maybe she never gets cold enough to use one...so many things could be the cause. I won't make her another though I don't think.


I had a similar experience, and asked my friend to be blunt about why the scarf stayed in her closet, because she seemed sincerely delighted when she first saw it. She confessed that when it was cold out, the wind blew through the lace, and it was too warm to wear the rest of the time. So I asked for it back, knit a second one of the same yarn in a contrasting color in a dense stitch, sewed them in a double layer, and gave it back to her. The lace showed beautifully against the contrasting color, and a few years later she asked for a replacement. Which she received!

One of my friends wears shawls almost constantly and cheerfully admits they look like it -- she's rough on them. I made her a really nice one to, well, upgrade her Look and you guessed it -- into a drawer, "too nice for everyday." So I made an identical one and she had one to use and one to "archive." The one she used had a big snag in it within a week, so she had a point. :mrgreen: Since then, I've always given her two of the same shawl; one gets used to tatters and the other gets "archived." She says that when she's feeling low, she takes the archive out of the drawer and pets them.

I made a rather elaborate afghan for relatives one Christmas and when I visited, it was in the living room but clearly one of the dog's blankets. (Short-haired dog, drafty house, cold climate, so he did need blankets!) Every Christmas after that, I made another afghan and addressed the present directly to the dog. About five years after the first one, one of the family confessed to me that they sometimes "stole" the dog's blanket and hoped I didn't mind. Turned out they thought of the dog as one of the kids and his need was greater, so they hadn't thought anything of letting him use the first afghan -- besides, he growled and snapped when anyone tried to take it away. So now I alternate -- one year it's for the dog, the next year it's for the family. They all get used!

I've gotten in the habit of including a card that says "This is NOT an heirloom. If you like it, use it -- I can make more."


----------



## Betsiann (Dec 26, 2011)

Quite personally I don't like the knitted dishcloths, as I find them to hard to wringout.I use them as Hot Pads.


----------



## beachknit (Oct 25, 2011)

queenofallcrafts said:


> Hello! (This is a pet peeve of mine, I am curious if this has happened to anyone else...)
> 
> Last year for Christmas I made my bff 3 fun knitted dishcloths (nothing fancy, very basic). She doesn't have a dishwasher so I thought... perfect! Right?? WRONG!
> 
> ...


----------



## AnjiCat (Dec 6, 2011)

I was discussing this thread with my Mum earlier today and she made some great points. She said that the important thing for her was to know her work was appreciated and that the effort was respected. Her BF is another who puts things away as too nice to use but she does cherish every gift.

The ones who don't respect the work don't deserve the gift.

The ones that sell their gifts, well in a twisted way, it is a recognition of effort as they have realized other people will pay top dollar for such a wonderful item though still appalling from the aspect that they don't seem to respect crafter enough to be honest about what they would actually find if use.

She has also noticed that Thank You seems an alien phrase to a lot of folks these days, but also that there are some who don't feel comfortable saying something that could be perceived negatively, if something is the wrong size for example. Many people who don't knit, don't realise yarn can be reused or that garments can be altered, so a minor thing that might stop an item being used could be fixed, if it were known. :-D


----------



## 3DogMom (May 7, 2013)

Thank you in general is not said as much as it used to be. I was delighted to receive a hand-written personal thank you card today from a 20-something coworker who was changing jobs. I gave her a pink ruffle scarf because she had initiated "Pink Wednesdays" in the office when everyone wore pink and because pink looks great on her. She made a point of thanking me profusely verbally but also wrote me (and everyone else who gave her gifts) sweet little notes. I wasn't looking for all this acknowledgement but it was very nice to know that people (even of the ME generation) still say and write thank yous.


----------



## burgher (Feb 9, 2013)

queenofallcrafts said:


> Hello! (This is a pet peeve of mine, I am curious if this has happened to anyone else...)
> 
> Last year for Christmas I made my bff 3 fun knitted dishcloths (nothing fancy, very basic). She doesn't have a dishwasher so I thought... perfect! Right?? WRONG!
> 
> ...


----------



## Aunt Nay (Nov 25, 2011)

queenofallcrafts said:


> Thank you so much! =]
> 
> Yes, this pattern is available in Etsy store http://www.etsy.com/shop/QueenOfAllCrafts for just $3.99. It's called "Celestial Wonders" and also comes with pattern to make: Sun, Moon, and Star shaped pillows!! It is currently listed as an instant download... but can be shipped to your home as well. =]
> 
> Thanks again! This afghan is an instant mood lifter! Photo of cover below. ENJOY!!!


Buying as soon as I get Paid! Thanks!


----------



## ourthreecats (Nov 29, 2011)

I must say I have made hats for the homeless and they have been very appreciated and the children at church love to get a new hat and scarf for Christmas look forward to them. Will even ask if I told Santa to give them to them ;-)


----------



## lilydragon (Oct 2, 2011)

I made my daughter a sweater, I posted pictures here, and my husband didn't want to put it on her. He thought it was too nice for her to wear. I don't know how many times I told him I can make another until he started letting her wear it to daycare. When he washes, he won't put it in the drier for fear of it shrinking even though I made it with Red Heart SS. 

I made a friend of mine a cowl in the main color of the school she works for since she's a teacher. She says she's worn it and she's received a lot of compliments on it. 

For my husbands grandmother I've made a hat and scarf. I showed her a shawl I made and she said it was so pretty, I gave it to her. I've seen her wear them all, she loves them. 

My friend that's moving home soon I made a shawl for Christmas. Since she lives far away I haven't seen her wear it, but I wanted to give her something she didn't have to wear, but something she could cover herself with.


----------



## riggy (Apr 9, 2012)

Many years ago my sister and I were at a craft show and she liked some black sparkly wool, so unbeknown to her I went and bought it and made her a long waistcoat on my knitting machine and was very pleased with the result. So I sent it to her but never got a response, eventually even I forgot about it, then a few weeks ago I remembered and asked her if she had liked the waistcoat and she told me she had never received it. So someone somewhere has been wearing the waistcoat I made for her all those years ago!


----------



## Reyna (Oct 24, 2012)

Betsiann said:


> Quite personally I don't like the knitted dishcloths, as I find them to hard to wringout.I use them as Hot Pads.


I know what you mean, Betsiann, but we love the absorbancy of the cotton dishcloths. I found I was making them just a little too big which made them difficult to wring and dry out. I now make them smaller, no more than 7 inches square. They are just as effective and much easier to use. Someone sent me a scrubby, at first I had no idea what it was, but my DH saw it and immediately knew what it is for, he likes it more than the dishcloths,and that is saying something! (I am disabled and can't stand for more than a few minutes, so he does all the cooking and washing up, and never a murmur of complaint!)


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

Safeya said:


> I love the knitted dishcloths - but I know some people don't - some are sponge lovers and can't think about any kind of dishcloth. I had a friend give me some that someone made for her because she uses sponges. Yuck! a dirty sponge doesn't even compare to a wonderful knitted dishcloth!


Agreed! And knitted dishcloths when wet and soapy are so soft and luxurious. I've been using them so long, I guess I'm spoiled. I'll never go back to sponges unless I have a real messy pan, but even then I usually let it soak a good long time and let the water do the tough job. Mine do launder well, so even if I get it stained... I just throw it in the washer.

Thanks for sharing! =]


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

Betsiann said:


> Quite personally I don't like the knitted dishcloths, as I find them to hard to wringout.I use them as Hot Pads.


Yes, several other members here say they'd rather use them as doilies or hotpads too. I think that's just fine, the way I see it... it may not be used as intended, but it's still being used. =]

Thanks for sharing =]


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

AnjiCat said:


> I was discussing this thread with my Mum earlier today and she made some great points. She said that the important thing for her was to know her work was appreciated and that the effort was respected. Her BF is another who puts things away as too nice to use but she does cherish every gift.
> 
> The ones who don't respect the work don't deserve the gift.
> 
> ...


I agree... "Thank Yous" are a thing of the past apparently. My heart goes out to all the members here that gave beautiful handmade items to friends and family, only to find out later they sold it on eBay or gave it to thrift stores, or just discarded it somehow. That would sure steer me away from making that person anything else.

Thanks for sharing =]


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

mirium said:


> I had a similar experience, and asked my friend to be blunt about why the scarf stayed in her closet, because she seemed sincerely delighted when she first saw it. She confessed that when it was cold out, the wind blew through the lace, and it was too warm to wear the rest of the time. So I asked for it back, knit a second one of the same yarn in a contrasting color in a dense stitch, sewed them in a double layer, and gave it back to her. The lace showed beautifully against the contrasting color, and a few years later she asked for a replacement. Which she received!
> 
> One of my friends wears shawls almost constantly and cheerfully admits they look like it -- she's rough on them. I made her a really nice one to, well, upgrade her Look and you guessed it -- into a drawer, "too nice for everyday." So I made an identical one and she had one to use and one to "archive." The one she used had a big snag in it within a week, so she had a point. :mrgreen: Since then, I've always given her two of the same shawl; one gets used to tatters and the other gets "archived." She says that when she's feeling low, she takes the archive out of the drawer and pets them.
> 
> ...


Great story! Yes, I don't mind making items for pets too. They are just like a member of the family. That's funny that you mentioned if anyone tried to take that dogs blanket he would growl LOL. I think that's great - he/she obviously loved it.

I love how you include a note with your gifts - I think next time I make a larger project like an afghan... I'm going to include a note like yours. Just gives a little more assurance your thoughtful gift will be used. =]

Thanks for sharing =]


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

2DogMom said:


> Thank you in general is not said as much as it used to be. I was delighted to receive a hand-written personal thank you card today from a 20-something coworker who was changing jobs. I gave her a pink ruffle scarf because she had initiated "Pink Wednesdays" in the office when everyone wore pink and because pink looks great on her. She made a point of thanking me profusely verbally but also wrote me (and everyone else who gave her gifts) sweet little notes. I wasn't looking for all this acknowledgement but it was very nice to know that people (even of the ME generation) still say and write thank yous.


I agree! It's nice to hear your friend took the time to give everyone notes of thanks. It's a small sentiment... that is sooooo appreciated. Although, I'm a pretty fast typer and could easily send my friends a thank you via email... I still prefer to hand write them and mail it.

Thanks for sharing =]


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

burgher said:


> queenofallcrafts said:
> 
> 
> > Hello! (This is a pet peeve of mine, I am curious if this has happened to anyone else...)
> ...


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

Aunt Nay said:


> Buying as soon as I get Paid! Thanks!


THANK YOU!!! Although there are a lot of loose ends to weave in when finished... it's a fun EASY pattern.

=]


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

ourthreecats said:


> I must say I have made hats for the homeless and they have been very appreciated and the children at church love to get a new hat and scarf for Christmas look forward to them. Will even ask if I told Santa to give them to them ;-)


What a great story! Thank you for sharing =]


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

lilydragon said:


> I made my daughter a sweater, I posted pictures here, and my husband didn't want to put it on her. He thought it was too nice for her to wear. I don't know how many times I told him I can make another until he started letting her wear it to daycare. When he washes, he won't put it in the drier for fear of it shrinking even though I made it with Red Heart SS.
> 
> I made a friend of mine a cowl in the main color of the school she works for since she's a teacher. She says she's worn it and she's received a lot of compliments on it.
> 
> ...


That's so generous of you! I think all needleworkers get great joy in seeing others actually wear/use something you took the time to make especially for them. Glad to hear your gifts are being used.

Thanks for sharing =]


----------



## queenofallcrafts (Mar 27, 2012)

riggy said:


> Many years ago my sister and I were at a craft show and she liked some black sparkly wool, so unbeknown to her I went and bought it and made her a long waistcoat on my knitting machine and was very pleased with the result. So I sent it to her but never got a response, eventually even I forgot about it, then a few weeks ago I remembered and asked her if she had liked the waistcoat and she told me she had never received it. So someone somewhere has been wearing the waistcoat I made for her all those years ago!


Oh my goodness! That's a little sad to hear that your thoughtful gift is lost somewhere in postal-heaven. Unfortunately things like that DO happen. I'm sure you can rest assured knowing whoever received that pretty waistcoat is enjoying it. =]

Thanks for sharing =]


----------



## zookeeper1 (Feb 26, 2013)

My Husband Great Grandmother crochet two very beautiful matching doilies. When we clean out his uncle's house, I found them and they had never been used. I am now in the process of having them framed. I have a cedar chest full of handmade quilts, afghans, and doilies from both side of the family going back to the civil war. They are too beautiful to use so I wrap them in archive paper and save them for the future generations. The talented artisans who created them are gone so I cherish them for their memories and skill.


----------



## lilydragon (Oct 2, 2011)

queenofallcrafts said:


> That's so generous of you! I think all needleworkers get great joy in seeing others actually wear/use something you took the time to make especially for them. Glad to hear your gifts are being used.
> 
> Thanks for sharing =]


I can just imagine what my husband will say when I try to put the tree skirt I'm working on under the tree...


----------



## NJKNITTER (Jun 28, 2012)

I have made a bay blanket and sweater for a relative. Never have I seen the child wearing it or head her wear it. I also recently made a baby blanket and sweater for another relative upon the arrival of their daughter. No thank you note or thank you in person. The funniest part was I did not have time to finish the sweater before the baptism. I am a Teacher and things were crazy at that time. I added a little note saying that a sweater was coming. It was a work in progress. I actually gave them the sweater a few weeks later and nothing was said about the gift. All I was looking for was a thank you, nothing more. It is sad that people don't appreciate the hard work and love that goes into gifts. I just take these people and cross them off my knitting list.


----------



## NCOB (Jan 8, 2013)

I gave my DIL a pair of arm warmers and she used them as leg warmers for her first child. I also made her a pair of slippers and she gave them back to me about a year later...


----------



## sharon.quinn824 (Nov 15, 2012)

Thank you for the idea! I will make that request.


----------



## leannab (Sep 7, 2011)

Joy Marshall said:


> If this is their true reason, it is a terrible waste. It is like people who keep plastic wrap on their lamp shades. Or keeping nice underwear for a "nice" occasion. I say use and enjoy! Life is short.


 :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:

Leanna x


----------



## Chemchic (Dec 16, 2012)

oh ...I actually think it's true...don't get your panties in a twist haha...they are usually so pretty (to non knitters/crocheters) that they don't know "how" to use them. I have my daughter, who grew up with knitting all around her, not use them. 

If they are a finer cotton, tell her to use them for facecloths! that is a more delicate, less-tear-up-the-cotton way to use them.

I knit TONS of dishcloths and for some, have a hard time putting them into use. They just sit out there for me to view.


----------



## joannaemerson (Apr 2, 2013)

I actually made something for my niece years ago only to find out she never even took it out of her car trunk. I was very hurt!


----------



## carolyn tolo (Feb 7, 2011)

As a nurse, and many times as a survivor, I have seen what

you say. One comment: please don't surprise us, no matter

how beautiful and loving the gift is. Many of us have very 

little closet or display space. Please ask us if we want 

it and will wear it. Let us enjoy knowing it's "in the 

works".

My family know that they are allowed to pass my gifts on to 

whomever they want. I enjoy their smiles.


----------



## sockyarn (Jan 26, 2011)

Yep.


----------



## LittleKid (Nov 17, 2011)

I know how you feel. This was years ago. I have two nehpews that I had crocheted the "ABC" Blanket . The first time his mother said Thank You I will put it away, because it is too nice to use. A few years later when there second child came I made another one. She let the older son drag it around the floor for awhile then put that one away too.

Guess what? Yes, I learned my lesson !!!

I know your pain.


----------



## mjensen (Jun 4, 2013)

I actually had a friend tell me that she usually takes homemade gifts, says thank you and then sticks them in a drawer or her closet until I made her a couple pairs of socks and she tried them. She told me she will never do that again. In fact, she asked me for more as she loves them.


----------



## -knitter (Aug 22, 2011)

laurelarts said:


> I try to make "functional" items in my knitting, my pottery and my glass, and have had the same comment made to me in all areas. I take it as a compliment. I gave so it is up to them how or if they use it.


Good point! I gave my niece dishcloths --- she uses them as hot pads so she can display them. A compliment, right?


----------



## Bombshellknits (Feb 2, 2013)

I have enjoyed this topic. Most of the things I made are requested. If my daughter in Arizona had her way, I would only knit for her. I am making an afghan now for my cousin. He and his wife renovated their living room. He mentioned that they needed a throw or blanket to match. I told him I would make on for him. I'm about half done. It will match their color scheme exactly. 

I have made a couple of BSJs for baby gifts, and some baby blankets. Most of these people live out of town, so, I don't know if they use them or not. I really don't care one way or another. I am way behind on washcloths. I generally make the diagonal yarn over ones. No one really worries about them being "too pretty". I know who likes them, and i distribute them as I have them. 

For myself I love to knit face cloths with bamboo yarn. They are so nice. Right now I have a waiting list of things I must make. Then, we move on to the list of things I need to make for ME! I love to wear scarves. Rectangles, triangles, scarves that are considered shawls. I don't care what you call them, I could wear one a day. And I often do. I live in Ohio, it gets cold.

In 2011 my BFF knit a shawl for me. It was supposed to be for my daughter's wedding, but, it wasn't quite done. I so love this thing. First, because she made it, and second because it's red. I feel like Red Riding Hood in it. I keep it on the back of my preacher's bench because I use it regularly. It's chunky and snuggly. One night when I didn't feel good I wrapped it around my neck and slept in it. It looks great under my denim jacket, or just alone like a mini poncho whatever. 

Lastly, those items are not HOME made, they are HANDmade, by craftspeople. Those folks that turn up their nose at it really ought to give it a try! 

I seem to have a sixth sense about who will appreciate what I make. But, I flat out tell them that if doesn't suit them, just take it to the Goodwill. I really don't care. Some one else who wants it will get it super cheap. 

I guess I figure if someone doesn't like or appreciate something I make it is my penance or payback for not appreciating the stuff my grandma made me. I sure love the afghans now. Some of the clothing I still think was a bit Old World. But, I wouldn't trade her afghans for anything.

I mostly knit because I want to, and love it. I can generally find someone who says,"Do you you have any_________________(fill in the blank) made, I need one for a gift". No worries. Then, I get paid for it. YAY!


----------



## kathycam (Apr 24, 2012)

Kathy--I'm sure your friend wants to keep your gift nice and not use as an ordinary dish cloth. I have dish towels made with needle work tops/hangers that my grandmother made for me in the 70's. I have hung them from cupboard and oven handles but NEVER used them. I really hope my grandmother was not offended. I just want to keep them nice because she made them.


----------



## magpie21979 (Sep 10, 2012)

I have this feeling with my oldest niece, I made my nieces & nephews all afghans for christmas or there birthdays but I believe my niece does not use hers I don't know don't get to go to her room but I thought she would use it for when she is relaxing on the couch but last time I was there I didn't see it. I don't know if she uses it or not! 
My mother makes dishcloths & I love them she always ask at Christmas or for my anniversary what we need I always say I could use some of your dishcloths I use them instead of buying store bought ones as I find they get your dishes cleaner. I love getting them & enjoy using them I don't save mine sometimes I should the nicer ones.


----------



## ILisaAM (Apr 8, 2013)

I am just learning to knit and haven't made a gift yet, but this happens to crocheted gifts I make and give. They all get displayed in there own time while what's not being used is being preserved and tucked away in a drawer to keep them out of the elements. That to me is a compliment, and if they don't want to use it, that's okay it is theirs to do with as they please, even sell it or throw it away, it's theirs. I think your friend was being honest and she would rather see the beauty of your gift forever, rather then using them to scrub things with and stain!


----------



## SusieQue (Jan 26, 2012)

queenofallcrafts said:


> Hello! (This is a pet peeve of mine, I am curious if this has happened to anyone else...)
> 
> Last year for Christmas I made my bff 3 fun knitted dishcloths (nothing fancy, very basic). She doesn't have a dishwasher so I thought... perfect! Right?? WRONG!
> 
> ...


I knit a beautiful baby blanket for our son's first son, found it in the dog's basket! That was a truly low blow! :thumbdown:


----------



## ILisaAM (Apr 8, 2013)

Dogs are honorable and maybe the dog loves it. Yeah! And maybe the baby had an allergic reaction or something but it went for great use. That Dog probably wouldn't think twice about saving your life. You go puppy and keep loving that blanket that brings your bed beauty!


----------



## peaches13 (Dec 10, 2012)

Not very nice. There seem to be a lot of unappreciative people these days---you'd think someone would be so happy to get something made just for them. I know exactly what you mean---I have knit several baby items for my 2 grandchildren in the past 2 1/2 years and their mother never thanks me, nor do I get photos with the kids and the items like cute sweaters, blankets, mittens, except for a couple when I asked several times! Amazingly insensitive! These were 2 sets of sweaters/blankets/hats for each child---I have been knitting for over 40 years so these were pretty nice patterns/work. I was especially hurt when she didn't even acknowledge that the last set for the new baby were in colors to match her room.


----------



## grammi65 (Nov 22, 2012)

HELP!!! HELP!!! HELP!!!
The last forum I received on my computer was July 4th. What did I do wrong??? I need my forum. If possible, is it possible to get me caught up???

Thank you.
Carol Gregory


----------



## inishowen (May 28, 2011)

I'm no expert grammi65, but check your spam folder, your newsletters could be hiding in there. You can also open this thread and click on Active Topics, or Newest Topics, and you will find a lot to read. Good luck.


----------



## josiehof (Feb 28, 2011)

Hi,

I'm glad I'm not the only one being hurt.

josiehof


----------



## MrsBearstalker (Aug 11, 2011)

That happens with all kinds of gifts, not just knitted items. My mom used to preach to us to use our things that we liked, but I regret that I am guilty of being more like my grandmother. When Grandmother was 90ish, someone gave her a beautiful bed jacket. She loved it; never used it. We found it still in tissue paper when she died at age 99.

I'm getting better about using things, since I've let so many things got out of style, or out of fit, or moth-eaten, etc. I try to tell myself, "What are you waiting for? USE IT."


----------

