# How would you feel--and what would you do?



## Frances6Pitts (Jan 14, 2016)

May I vent a little here? About 5-6 months ago I was invited by a neighbor to join our local Senior Center. She told me that there was a lady there who taught knitting and that "You might get some good tips from her. Bring your knitting with you." Ok, so I joined the group but the lady who was teaching either died or moved away. After seeing some of my work one of the staff asked me if I would like to teach. I told her that I would be happy to teach what I know so that is what I have been trying to do for these past few months. I have taken in yarn and needles and furnished projects that I thought would be good for beginners. I was trying to eliminate any excuses that I thought people might come up with. So far only 2 people have even tried to do anything. Only one has stuck with me and actually made anything. She told me that I was much more patient with them than the last lady. These people are seniors but not nursing home residents. What I am getting at is this...I am giving my time, my yarn, my needles, time looking for projects to work on, and my enthusiasm with no real results. Today I made a comment that "I sure would like to see some others take an interest in it." "The remark I got was this. "Nobody wants to do that crap." First of all I will say that this remark was made by a woman who is very outspoken but I do wonder if that is how they feel. What would you have thought? For now I have decided to stop going. My husband says I am wearing my heart on my sleeve but my feelings were hurt.


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## martina (Jun 24, 2012)

Well, you seem to be wasting your time and efforts with this apart from one person, so I'd find a different group if I were you.


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## Jessica-Jean (Mar 14, 2011)

I'm very sorry that happened to you! I guess some folks - senior or not - just never learn to speak kindly.

If it's a good excuse to get out of the house and be active, keep it up and hope more receptive people will join.

If it's a bother and/or a heartache, drop it and do something more pleasing to you.


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## Janallyn (Feb 16, 2016)

You have more patience thanme, I was approached by a wonderful woman


Tablet dieing tomorrow will finish


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## dunnville89 (Apr 24, 2012)

Our feelings do get hurt when we generously share something we love to do and get an insensitive, nasty remark. When it comes to the number of people who stuck with knitting, it has been my experience that only a small percentage of people actually catch the knitting fever (unfortunately). I belong to a knitting group where all the ladies who came originally, attempted to learn to knit. Only two of the original group is still knitting, but they all still come for the social interaction. I guess my point is, don't be discouraged, you had one success. Is there any way that your class could be opened to others who may be interested? Last suggestion: Ignore that nasty lady and her mean remarks.


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## DeePickens (Mar 22, 2015)

Do not feel bad. I have been trying to teach girls in a children's home for the last 18 months and out of about ten girls just two or three have learned the garter stitch. But they thank me every time and the talk is more important to them . We have worked with beads and patchwork and I try to keep their interest. I also did what you were doing only I worked with embroidery. Only two out of ten did anything with it but they enjoyed it. I would just not go back as that was extremely rude. Some people just do not have any social skills,but that was downright mean. I have found that if people have to pay they will pay more attention and will not act so stupid. Live and learn. I am 89 and this old world is fun to sit back and watch. Thank you for trying.


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## riversong200 (Apr 20, 2014)

I was asked to lead a group at my local library. For the first few meetings we had lots of gals and have settled down to about six who show up on a regular basis. You might want to try a different venue or advertise your classes at the current location on a bulletin board. I carry some small balls of yarn, a pair of needles and a crochet hook with me for demonstration purposes but I expect students to bring their own yarn and needles for a project. When I first started the group I put up a notice in the library asking prospective newbies to bring a skein of worsted weight yarn and size 8 needles of a current project if they already knew the basics. There is a group out there who will value your talents and generosity. I hope you find it soon.


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## grandmatimestwo (Mar 30, 2011)

I'm sorry your feelings were hurt. No excuse for rudeness.


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## rkr (Aug 15, 2012)

riversong200 said:


> There is a group out there who will value your talents and generosity. I hope you find it soon.


 Ditto from me!


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## Cathie bargenda (May 30, 2015)

I feel for you. It's wonderful to care and try teach what you doing. Perhaps you could find a group that would truly love to learn check with your local yarn store. Maybe you see if they would like a volunteer. Don't stew over it, it's not worth it.


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## Frances6Pitts (Jan 14, 2016)

Thank you all for your kind thoughts. I may decide to go back but right now my feelings are a little tender. I'm 70 years old and now that I finally have time to do this I thought it would be much more rewarding. While I was still working I did volunteer crafting at the local health and rehab center. Those people were so appreciative of anything we did. Even though I am also a Senior, I am not content to just play cards and dominoes. I wanted to share what I enjoy doing. I'm not giving up...........just backing off for a while.


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## wordancer (May 4, 2011)

Time to move on. Next time don't use your own needles and yarn, as a general rule people tend to value lessons more when they have to put their own money into it.


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## 29426 (Jul 26, 2011)

I am part of a "senior" group and crocheting seems to be more popular than knitting. Of our group of ten regulars 6 are crocheters and the others knitters. Our group fluctuates from week to week, but members are always willing to share yarns, patterns, and techniques. I am so sorry your group is struggling right now. Have you tried advertising in your senior News or even a local mostly advertising paper? Ours is the Goldpanner. Perhaps you might even get an article in the local newspaper to encourage newcomers. I admire your willingness to teach others and your patience in doing that. Sorry you had a crotchety old woman be insulting!!!


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## grandmann (Feb 4, 2011)

Maybe you would be better off with a younger group. Possibly a 4H group or Scouts. 
I know from experience one of the Senior groups that I'm is turning into a gossip group.
I enjoy knitting and learning I enjoy the groups where we share our ideas.


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## soamaryllis (Jun 5, 2012)

Jessica-Jean said:


> I'm very sorry that happened to you! I guess some folks - senior or not - just never learn to speak kindly.
> If it's a good excuse to get out of the house and be active, keep it up and hope more receptive people will join.
> If it's a bother and/or a heartache, drop it and do something more pleasing to you.


I love this answer and believe this to be great advice. :sm02: :sm24: :sm24: :sm24:


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## Cdambro (Dec 30, 2013)

If you are liking that even just one is learning, then you are successful. You are helping that one person enjoy and learn a new craft from you. Don't let one rude person control what you do and all of us KPers are more than enough evidence that she is totally wrong. If you don't want to return there, perhaps you can arrange to continue to teach your one success. She would be disappointed if you just don't return.


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## chooksnpinkroses (Aug 23, 2012)

I probably wouldn't go back either... I'd need some measure of enthusiasm from at least half of them to keep me coming...
You have more patience than me.

I tried teaching a group of women to shuttle tatt many years ago... I learnt one thing; I am not a natural 'teacher'. Not one of those women managed to 'get' the knack of the one important part, flipping the stitch from working thread to ring thread. Those who shuttle tatt will know what I mean... 

Good luck... :sm01: :sm01: :sm01:


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## deenashoemaker (Nov 9, 2014)

I'm sorry you were treated that way. For years I was a live in manager of a senior community. Much as I tried, the only thing our seniors wanted to do were simple crafts they could take home at the end of the activity. Though they enjoyed watching me knit, they really didn't want to do anything too involved.


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## Montana Gramma (Dec 19, 2012)

Perhaps you can just go back as a participant yourself and you and your one interested student could meet at a different time. I guess you could say to her after a snide hurtful remark that you notice she seems out of sorts and what could you do to help. She will decline of course but get the message I bet.
Wearing your heart on your sleeve is not a bad thing imho, shows you are sensitive to being treated decently, or not, and sometimes helps us make hard decisions and judgements, like, do you get enough good from the group to make it worthwhile.


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## fortunate1 (Dec 13, 2014)

My suggestion would be to have them announce the classes, and a sign up sheet. If no one shows interest, I would invite the one lady to coffee once a week, or to the library once a week, and continue to work with her. Your time is just as valuable as anyone else's. I would consider the source of the nasty, rude woman. If further comments are forth coming from her, I would specifically say, You, are not the only person here, and have already stated your opinion, how about letting someone else speak. Unless, of course you all feel that way, in which case, I will quit giving my time, and supplies.
Easy Peasy!


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## mirium (May 14, 2013)

Frances6Pitts said:


> May I vent a little here? About 5-6 months ago I was invited by a neighbor to join our local Senior Center. She told me that there was a lady there who taught knitting and that "You might get some good tips from her. Bring your knitting with you." Ok, so I joined the group but the lady who was teaching either died or moved away. After seeing some of my work one of the staff asked me if I would like to teach. I told her that I would be happy to teach what I know so that is what I have been trying to do for these past few months. I have taken in yarn and needles and furnished projects that I thought would be good for beginners. I was trying to eliminate any excuses that I thought people might come up with. So far only 2 people have even tried to do anything. Only one has stuck with me and actually made anything. She told me that I was much more patient with them than the last lady. These people are seniors but not nursing home residents. What I am getting at is this...I am giving my time, my yarn, my needles, time looking for projects to work on, and my enthusiasm with no real results. Today I made a comment that "I sure would like to see some others take an interest in it." "The remark I got was this. "Nobody wants to do that crap." First of all I will say that this remark was made by a woman who is very outspoken but I do wonder if that is how they feel. What would you have thought? For now I have decided to stop going. My husband says I am wearing my heart on my sleeve but my feelings were hurt.


That was certainly a nasty thing to say to you -- hmm, wonder if someone hasn't been taking as much interest in her as she thinks she deserves? Her reaction to your casual comment is pretty over the top, so I'd bet it had nothing to do with you. And if you're knitting or teaching people to knit, what business is it of hers? It's not like she's forced to join your group; she can do what she likes, whether you and others knit or not.

On the other hand, your neighbor thought there was a "knitting group" -- maybe there are more knitters and knitter wannabees when the weather is cooler? A staff member thought there was interest in knitting, otherwise why bother to recruit you? The previous teacher wasn't known for her patience, so some people might have had a bad experience and could come back when they hear that you're different. Two people tried to learn to knit and one is sticking with it? You must be a good teacher, that's 50%! And both of them got to try something they probably wouldn't have without your help, so you've given them both a gift. If the one who stuck with it keeps going, just think -- you've given her a lifetime of fun! So all your thought and preparation and patience haven't been in vain.

What I'm wondering is -- did you enjoy the actual teaching? You've already done a lot of prep that you won't have to do again, and won't have to do more unless you think it's worthwhile. I agree with others that the knitter wannabees should pick their own yarn and get their own supplies, isn't that part of the fun? You could let folks know you'll supply materials if someone doesn't want to get their own -- that way no one will be excluded for financial reasons -- but encourage them to get their own and almost all of them will, and they'll enjoy it. Maybe the first step for someone who is interested is to learn about what kind of yarn to buy for their first project by chatting with you. The important thing isn't that woman's rude remark; the important thing is whether you enjoyed opening the world of knitting to those two people. If you did, keep at it; if you didn't, don't. Either way, you've already given a gift to two people.


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## Sine (Jun 12, 2011)

Frances6Pitts said:


> Only one has stuck with me and actually made anything. She told me that I was much more patient with them than the last lady. t.


Your story reminded me of the Bible quote:
Matthew 18:20 King James Version (KJV)
_For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them._

You are helping one woman with her hobby. I think that is wonderful.


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## Frances6Pitts (Jan 14, 2016)

Thanks for all the great advice. I have always been a "people person" so I will most likely seek others who might be interested.


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## crafterwantabe (Feb 26, 2013)

Jessica-Jean said:


> I'm very sorry that happened to you! I guess some folks - senior or not - just never learn to speak kindly.
> 
> If it's a good excuse to get out of the house and be active, keep it up and hope more receptive people will join.
> 
> If it's a bother and/or a heartache, drop it and do something more pleasing to you.


Well said!


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## diamondbelle (Sep 10, 2011)

I would suggest having a sign up sheet, so you'll know how many people are interested. Then you could schedule a time that's convenient for you to teach those who want to learn.

Those who aren't interested don't have to participate.


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## Shautzie (Jun 9, 2013)

Please don't let the nasty comment from one unfeeling woman to hurt you. She isn't worth it.


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## JlsH (Dec 21, 2012)

Very rude and I would be upset too. You might want to let the person that runs the program know that the knitting session does not seem to be appreciated by those at the center and explain what happened. I probably would also speak with the woman that has shown interest and explain i appreciate her interest but have decided I will not be participating at the center. However I would try to make arrangements to provide her with some type of periodic assistance if she is interested since she has been participating. 
As for the rude/nasty comment, that person is unhappy and also jealous that she doesn't have the talent you have. Karma is something that finds everyone.....some folks bring on good karma others deal them self negative karma. Your good work is definitely attracting you good karma. Unfortunately we know what the nasty lady is bring into her life!


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## Jalsh (Aug 6, 2012)

You gotta wonder just what happened to the other instructor who "mysteriously disappeared."

Seriously, I would have been very, very hurt by such a rude comment. You were giving them a priceless gift of your time and talent...go figure.


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## LindaH (Feb 1, 2011)

I so totally agree with Jessica Jean! So sorry that the woman hurt your feelings that way.


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## marinda (Nov 9, 2015)

Also have to agree with Jessica-Jean's answer. Please don't think it was a failure. Can't be a failure if one person stayed and finished something would call it a " baby step" success.


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## wendyirene (Jul 2, 2013)

That was such a rude response. I am sure there are plenty of people around who would show more appreciation for what you are doing. I do hope you can find another (and kinder) group.


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## Marionie (Apr 29, 2016)

I personally think that knitting brings people of any age together....young and older. It just depends on the person (s). Maybe the unkind remark was made by a person who is unhappy with herself, who knows, maybe she tried to knit at one time and did not succeed because of her nature and attitude.....therefore she thinks it is "crap." I feel sorry for her attitude, she has a long way to go in life with no joy....even if it is with string and sticks, I find knitting brings me volumes of joy and learning. I cannot image my life without my knitting. Marionie


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## Delyne (Sep 17, 2016)

First, thank you for trying to share. Second, as many of here have probably witnessed, some people just do not appreciate the craft we love, even when presented with a gift that took many hours, so the low number does not surprise me. But even if you introduced one other person to knitting, I say it is a success. As for the rudeness, I ask myself what kind of upbringing would give a person the thought that speaking this way is ok. Also, for some weird reason, some folks think once they hit a particular age their filters can be turned off and they have the "right" to say whatever they want, with no regard to whom it hurts. I DISAGREE! If you find joy in going there for the community, please don't let them take that from you. If you do not, I agree with Jessice-Jean, and suggest you find something more pleasing to you.


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## Ochosi (Nov 16, 2014)

I now live in a seniors apartment with a husband with Alzheimer's. Dementia is not easy to diagnose particularly in those not wishing to admit a problem. Your nasty lady may well be in early stages. They lose their "filters" and may not be aware of the effect of their "plain" speaking on those around them. She may also be the reason nobody else is joining in. 

For seniors, social contact is so very necessary. Your knitting may be the vehicle for the group but the connection with others is the glue. If your goal is to teach knitting maybe a younger group would work better.


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## YarnStalker (May 30, 2011)

Before I read what others replied this is what I think after reading your post Frances6Pitts. I'm thinking that it's possible that people don't want to come forward to do "that crap" because The Vocal One is one of those who will make comments to those who do and she wants to be the Leader of the Pack and doesn't want them to do something that she doesn't want to do. But, if she changed her mind I'm betting others would too. Me? Now, this is just me here. I'd go again even if no one else participated except the one person, sit and knit and keep an eye on The Vocal One and observe her. She's probably one of those bitter, cranky people like my relatives on my husband's side. They feel the same way about all the hobbies and knitting that I do. Their days are spent playing games on their computers, watching YouTube, and being cranky about each other.


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## bellflory (Jun 19, 2016)

I also like Jessica-Jean's advice. Since I've gotten older, I spend less time with people I don't enjoy, and more time with those who I do. Just makes for a happier environment.


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## YarnStalker (May 30, 2011)

mirium said:


> That was certainly a nasty thing to say to you -- hmm, wonder if someone hasn't been taking as much interest in her as she thinks she deserves? Her reaction to your casual comment is pretty over the top, so I'd bet it had nothing to do with you. And if you're knitting or teaching people to knit, what business is it of hers? It's not like she's forced to join your group; she can do what she likes, whether you and others knit or not.


This so reminds me of my mother in law. My poor husband has to endure endless phone calls from her when he's trying to work. No one cares about her, no one - blah blah blah. She's wants to always be the center of attention and if her "friends" don't want to do what she wants to do when she wants to do it we get the "oh, poor me blah blah" and she gets real vocal and critical of every one else and she will say it out loud to them then she'll wonder why no one wants to spend time with her for days on end. She has offended senior groups and admits it but says it's probably because "old people" are too sensitive. She's 81.

What does my MIL do all day? Computer games, gossip, and surfs the dating sites for men. Hobbies? She used to take music lessons but she knew more than the instructor. ;-) At least she'll go out for her euchre games but takes weeks off if she loses.


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## memere0211 (Nov 1, 2013)

my 1st thought would be try not to take it personally -- consider the source & i don't care where you go or what group you're in, there is always going to be "that one" . . . even at church . . .

secondly, you're a hero to one person . . . she may have no one else who's willing to spend the time . . . if you feel your gift is being wasted, perhaps try another group but let your student know where you'll be . . .

getting back to the rude lady, don't give her the power to make you change what your doing if you don't want to . . . it's my experience that when someone is making an effort to make you feel less, it's their misguided attempt to make themselves feel more . . . used to tell my girls this all the time - don't give your power away! you're spending your time being hurt (and i don't say this in a critical way, just coming from experience) over a thoughtless, rude comment someone made and meanwhile this person has gone on her merry way without a 2nd thought about it in all probability. it's your decision how long you let her control what you do without even being around . . .


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## sdresner (May 31, 2014)

Think of this....you made one person happy


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## Browniemom (Sep 24, 2012)

Some people are plain rude because they have chronic foot and mouth disease. That female is not a lady and certainly speaks like this to everyone. Try to focus on the people who very much appreciated your skills and efforts.


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## JuneB (Oct 10, 2014)

Sad to think people are so insensitive.. I belong to a senior group at our center we do everything I ve even brought my spinning wheel...we are all working on something be it knit crochet spinning ect: people donate yarn needles patterns books I ve even finished projects people start I finish after I figure out what the pattern is.We re all there to support one another some come to sit it's the chatter as seniors they enjoy.If someone doesn t know how to knit or crochet they bring the project they want to do their needles and yarn and we help... We are all teachers sharing our passion... Donating to hospitals , veterans , homeless,. Sometimes I think they just go to be around other people and yep the can get on your last nerve . Don t let them stop you from what you love.. Just go enjoy, make small talk, help but don't call it teaching..just tell them you will help. Enjoy your projects and unburden yourself from people who are small


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## Dorcas Sawyer (Jan 8, 2014)

I wouldn't waste my precious time on rude people, find another group who will be more appreciative and receptive, good luck!


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## rujam (Aug 19, 2011)

There's simply no excuse for rudeness and fancy calling knitting "crap", she's obviously very ignorant.


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## jmko (Dec 29, 2011)

The knitting group at the Senior center near me has over 30 members, and is a lively group. So you are starting small with one lady, but she is interested. If you make nice items, donate to a charity who will be grateful to receive ,others will see something good is happening. Don't be put off by the comment of an 'old grouch.' Maybe you can make hats for the local school children who will need them in the winter. Don't give up!


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## Teddy bear (Jun 23, 2016)

Is the senior center open to others coming in and joining (non-seniors?) If so, try advertising that.

If they are not, contact your local library and see if they have a room you can use and try advertising to seniors and non-seniors.

Also, I might utilize either place (or a community center, etc.) and open it to a UFO (UnFinished Objects) group. Bring your unfinished objects and work on them - knitting lessons offered also (maybe someone would like to offer crocheting, or other classes). Our library did that and we found there are lots of women (typically women) out there that have those countless unfinished projects out there and never take the time for themselves to do them. But when offered one day a week for a couple of hours, they seem to enjoy and commit to it. Maybe you would be able to put on a pot of coffee (or bring your own), and "something to pass" (goodies). Have others bring if they wish.

A great time to get projects done, unwind, share, friendship.


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## turnerbell54 (Dec 17, 2015)

My mother-in-law was a woman who would not sew a button or raise a hem. My husband complained that she never sewed his camp patches on when he was a kid. She always told me crafts were beneath her. She was diagnosed with dementia and unfortunately the family had to put her in a care home. Lo and behold who was down in the common room making little crafts during her time at the home. Shocked the daylights out of the family! Somebody got through to her and made a difference in her life in her final years. I am thankful that somebody did. You never know who or when you will touch somebody.


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## ggmomliz (Jan 31, 2016)

I offered to teach free Needlework classes at our senior center (I'm 62), knit, crochet, or cross stitch, and was told pretty much the same thing. I now do a "needlework corner" at the library once a week. The only problem with that I'd that a few parents dumped their kids, age 8-12, off for free daycare. The kids did not want the class and disruptedit. I was lucky that the class coordinator saw what happened and contacted the parents.
If there is a Michael's, JoAnn's, or Hobby Lobby you can check into teaching there and pick up extra money as well as a discount. I taught many things at Michael's in the past but now they are all over 30 miles away and I don't want to commit to a class when the weather might prevent me from doing it.


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## patocenizo (Jun 24, 2011)

Well for the only one person that has stuck with it, I would probably find somewhere else to meet, maybe a coffee shop if she can afford to buy her own or a library. As for the others, they don't bother so I would not bother either. There are many people that would love to learn!! Just sit at a Starbucks or the like and you get a lot of people looking and letting you know they wish they could learn.


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## Torticollus (Dec 3, 2011)

Forget the one nasty remark, and just leave. You have tried long enough. I went to a group once, and I agree with Dunnville, that these older women are just there for the socialization, not to really learn anything new. When I showed them my knitting projects, they just stared and had no questions, etc. So off to greener pastures! You must do the same.


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## ngriff (Jan 25, 2014)

I run a small group at my Senior Center. We have about 6 regularly. I will teach knit or crochet where there is interest. I do a lot of helping with problems and we all do our own projects, but in between some of our items are scarves for school children and with scraps we create blocks for veterans' afghans. Some visit for only a week or two. When we have a negative visitor, I try to redirect the conversation. One woman with macular degeneration was encouraged to crochet blocks and enjoyed it immensely. (Sometimes we redid them - no problem) Another was failing with alzheimer's so that I had to talk her through each stitch, but she was willing and trying so hard to knit.

The Center's newsletter carries the information on the group and occasionally writes up a nice paragraph promoting it. Perhaps your center could support you by doing the same. I have the pleasure of helping others even when there are problems. I hope you can have that same pleasure. It takes some time to build the relationships.


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## gigi 722 (Oct 25, 2011)

There's no excuse for being rude. Of course your feelings were hurt. May explain why the former teacher is no longer there.


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## ladystarshine (Apr 29, 2011)

What if you stay away but give the interested person a private lesson


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## Rosesla (Mar 12, 2012)

Maybe that's why the other woman was not there when you joined. My believe is life's to short to waste on people who don't care.


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## knitteerli (Jun 3, 2015)

I have similar experiences with young girls, who seem to want to do nohing but sit and chat and eat. I made a rule that they must do some knitting every session. I also found, that despite my good intentions and hopes, I am not a good teacher, so I asked some teacher friends who suggested I make lesson plans to get the basics down and let the students know they are expected to learn and practice. I do believe, too, that senior students should show some courtesy and at least try some basic projects. Chit chat is fine, but I felt like a failure when the girls did not progress, though they were all perfectly capable. I provided all materials so it was not a matter of expense or effort for the girls or the parents. Actually, two boys who came to the class learned and progressed much faster, but I suspect that there was a little competition involved in their approach. ( i also learned never to try to teach two adolescent boys to sew with machines, they try to race each other, not gentle on my machines at all.)

Talk to your ladies, tell them how you feel and that you would appreciate a little effort to learn on their part.


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## Linda Mcg (May 20, 2011)

Some people have no idea what knitting is all about. I do high end art/craft show, all work designed and made by me. Every once in a while some one will come into my booth,look around and say, I thought that this was and art/craft show, what are you doing here?
God bless them...... Most people like my work, have good sales and lots of discussions with fellow knitters, but those few are the pits.


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## KarenLeigh (Sep 6, 2011)

Perhaps some interest and commitment would be generated if your kind effort was attached to a larger event, like: (1) Offering the opportunity of a Craft Show where your students could showcase their work, or (2) Inviting each student to contribute a finished article to a grand raffle basket to benefit their organization or a local charity. Just sharing some thoughts. Don't give up.


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## Debiknit (Jul 7, 2011)

Sounds like you need just a nice knitting group. Maybe start one yourself. Check library, hospitals other places and see if
there is just a knitting group. Or see if anyone in the Sr. Ctr. is interested in crochet, or maybe making hats to donate to
charity on the round looms. Make something amazing to wear and see if that strikes an interest.


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## Pat lamb (Oct 31, 2011)

Maybe if you could find a Children Hospital, Chemo center or Veterans hospital or nursing home you could then have a definite goal. I started a group of ladies doing this and sometimes we have 35-45 ladies. It's very informal but we help and teach each other a lot.


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## Briegeen (Dec 9, 2012)

I agree wholeheartedly Browniemom. I would go back -for a bit longer anyway- for the benefit of the woman who is interested. Seeing the " amazing " things that the 2 of you are doing may entice more to join in.



Browniemom said:


> Some people are plain rude because they have chronic foot and mouth disease. That female is not a lady and certainly speaks like this to everyone. Try to focus on the people who very much appreciated your skills and efforts.


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## Fan-Knit (Nov 10, 2015)

For year and years, I too kept up with people I was not happy with and did it to stay active and around others. I decided two years ago to give it up and move on. Please do the same as there are blooming flowers all around you who would be willing to share your beautiful creations with you. Join a knitting shop or the YMCA. I just joined a crafty crew at the YMCA in my town and it is going great. Do not be unhappy just move on. Good luck!


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## mumsie (Mar 14, 2012)

If you want to keep going for the company then why don't you take whatever you are making ad instead of breaking your heart trying to get people interest just make your things and pretend that's why you're there and knowing people, the nosy ones will have to askastheycannotletanythingget past them. That's what I did and ended up having a great time. BythewayI didn't give my own equipment they had to givers all amountforyarnsandsuch, that was even more successful as they didn't like Charity. 
There's nowt like folk.
Donit foetal will be great


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## BARBIE-s (Sep 15, 2014)

I say hang in there, take along your "kindly shared" supplies and go to the meetings at least once a week, let the staff know on which day you are available (your choice) and then go and sit and work on your WIP you want to complete, if people are interested, they will come to you and learn from you willingly, if not, well you will finish your project. (The idea being that you probably then will have two WIPs going ..........one to teach with and one that YOU want to work on. Best wishes, and you are very kind to volunteer and give your time. Another avenue for you might also be a "Girls Club", or the YMCA in your area, young people that have been around me are very interested in what I do.........KNIT =)


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## PaKnitter (Mar 7, 2011)

Many people use clubs and activities as their social time with no interest in the main purpose of being there. It is quite annoying when you as the main person put so much time into it. And it takes a long time to realize you cannot motivate people into doing something they don't want to do. It is much easier to find a new home where you will be happy. Maybe you can take the one person who wants to knit with you. Or can you find a corner just for the two of you while the others do what they want?
I would suggest she find a scarf pattern or something with supplies she needs for her to buy though. If she is really interested she will want her own knitting needles and yarns.


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## rjazz (Feb 9, 2011)

follow your heart in this...life is too short!


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## carrottop71 (Jul 17, 2011)

I would go and sit and knit with the lady you are already friends with. I wouldn't worry too much about thinking up projects for others because they will find their own. I also teach at my church when asked, but all I do is teach the cast on and the knit and purl. They usually do a scarf. After that it is up to them. I'm always there to help when needed. We don't have on going teaching and I doubt that you senior center would have either.


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## Pat T (Dec 19, 2014)

Understand how your feelings were hurt and don't blame you for feeling the way you do. My grandmother used to tell me that "people can hurt you if you give them the power to do so. So, don't give them the power." At the time I did not understand what she meant, but I do now. When someone spews forth that kind of unkindness, it says volumes about them. One nasty individual does not speak for the group as a whole. I bring a bunch of free patterns (there are hundreds on the web) and say that I thought someone might be interested in them. Many times, a few of them ( 30 in our group) will choose a pattern and if they need help getting started or reading the pattern (biggest stumbling block), I help them. Sometimes, I bring in my laptop and show them a short instructional video from You Tube or another web site. We donate to homeless Vets, women's shelters, schools with needy kids. Some in our group only knit, some only crochet and some do both. Some only make scarves; some only make hats and some only make afghans or baby blankets. We can work on items for donation or for personal use. We use donated yarn and needles. Recently, everyone donated a few dollars and we bought yarn. We found that if you tell Michaels you are making things for charity, they will give you a really good break on the cost. Don't give in to rudeness. Kill her with kindness.


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## Ukiah (Sep 2, 2016)

Is this helpful?

"The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz, was published in 1997 and has sold around 5.2 million copies in the U.S. and has been translated into 38 languages. The book advocates personal freedom from beliefs and agreements that we have made with ourselves and others that are creating limitation and unhappiness in our lives.

Be Impeccable With Your Word
Don't Take Anything Personally
Don't Make Assumptions
Always Do Your Best


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## softspots (Mar 12, 2011)

If I were you I would take a few weeks off and then when you go back talk to the few that are still interested. Get their #'s and set a new meeting place/time, like the library or a cafe that would allow your small group. No distractions from those that aren't interested!!!
Please ignore the Rude person that made the remark  show her that you are a bigger person and have a good heart!


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## LilgirlCA (Jan 22, 2011)

Senior centers are a hard audience. Some are very outspoken. Many have failing eyesight. You have one student. Keep encouraging her and ask her to show some of her friends what she has accomplished.

If there is a open sitting room - like a living room - sit there close to lunch and knit. Be sure you are doing something with pretty yarn. People will stop and ask what you are doing. Welcome comments and be sure to mention your class

Building a following for a class is hard. Maybe go to the local yarn shops and Joanns and Michaels to see if you can post a flyer about the group. Be sure that any flyer makes it clear that yours is a continuing - not a just learn to knit class.

You might want to add crochet as many view it as easier to do.


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## MrsC (Jul 10, 2011)

Perhaps if you took some projects that you had made with you and let the 'ole bitty' see your crap, you might get more interest. Do you have a sweater or afghan or socks that you could show?


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## Susiebluel (Feb 12, 2011)

I would go back and enjoy so activities that might interest you. I wouldn't continue to offer to teach if you don't feel there is interest. Ignore that rude woman and enjoy maybe meeting some new people.


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## KitKat789 (May 17, 2016)

I agree that you should not go back. Nasty people are everywhere and it could be as someone suggested, that she is in the early stages of dementia. But do let those in charge of the center know what happened. 

If you want to continue meeting with your one interested pupil, contact her and suggest a different venue.


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## Kansas g-ma (Mar 7, 2014)

Don't let one old grouch spoil things. Our senior center has a "needlework group" called "Stitch Therapy" which I run. Does the center have a newsletter? If so, be sure your group is mentioned, on the calendar, etc. Also understand that many seniors cannot do needlework due to arthritis. We tell everyone, "Just come and visit." We don't gossip or talk religion or politics but tell jokes, mention nice things that have happened, talk about good places to get work done, etc. Home tips, funny things our GK have said, pictures of family. If someone is absent more than one time, one of us will call and check. We send cards when someone is hospitalized. Head count varies from only 3 to more than a dozen, depending on weather and what else might be happening. Yes, there are several of us who will teach various skills to anyone who wanders into the group. When one of us learns a new technique, we are apt to teach it to anyone who holds still long enough. We even have 2 regulars who are not even seniors but enjoy the group. Try this-- you might really like it.


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## ompuff (Apr 9, 2011)

carrottop71 said:


> I would go and sit and knit with the lady you are already friends with. I wouldn't worry too much about thinking up projects for others because they will find their own. I also teach at my church when asked, but all I do is teach the cast on and the knit and purl. They usually do a scarf. After that it is up to them. I'm always there to help when needed. We don't have on going teaching and I doubt that you senior center would have either.


After reading the entire thread I feel this is the very best answer. Go, enjoy the one, be available to answer questions but don't attempt to draw others in. If they are ignored they may suddenly want to join. Also, with senior centers the 'audience/members' is constantly changing so you never know when there will be a newcomer.

We have a group which is very fluid- sometimes 12-15 and sometimes 4-5. Health issues, family issues, travel all affect attendance.

Don't give up - in our group we say we go for fellowship which is great and if we can help someone we do. We donate to children, homeless, hospice, etc. as well as doing our own projects.

Blessing. :sm01:


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## knitbreak (Jul 19, 2011)

I agree with the idea to continue to work with the 1or 2 ladies that are interested. Why not find an area in the center just for you and those who want to learn. I wouldn't leave.


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## Frosch (Feb 5, 2014)

There is just no excuse to be rude.


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## mirl56 (Dec 20, 2011)

No reason to stop going, just stop teaching. Leave it open that you are willing to teach, but don't have a scheduled time. If anyone wants to learn, make arrangements with them one on one. Bring your own knitting and work on it while there for your own pleasure.


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## Frances6Pitts (Jan 14, 2016)

I have gotten so very many great suggestions on this topic. I have decided that I should cool my jets for a little while before I go back. I might also look for another venue to visit. I will keep you posted as to my decision. Thanks for the shoulder and the ear. Much appretiated.


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## Teddy bear (Jun 23, 2016)

Actually, I would stick with the one lady - you ARE making a difference to her! And who knows, you can attract more flies with honey - and if she really likes what you are doing together, she may spread the word - although it may take time. Quality, not quantity.

But you have touched HER life! And what a blessing!


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## Linda Haworth (Sep 2, 2013)

So sorry you were put thru that rude lady. Wonder if she can knit maybe with her mouth she could take over. Wish you lived in Indiana, we have a lady that comes to our library once a week and she thinks she knows it all and if you are knitting anything that pleases her then she is not interested in helping you. I go to u tube if I need help. It would be so nice if someone was around to help some of us that are wanting to learn new stitches and how to make nice things. People around your area don't know how lucky they are to have you wanting to share your talent and time and supplies. God bless you.

Linda


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## marimom (Aug 27, 2011)

Great answer. How nice it would be to meet for coffee or at the library.



fortunate1 said:


> My suggestion would be to have them announce the classes, and a sign up sheet. If no one shows interest, I would invite the one lady to coffee once a week, or to the library once a week, and continue to work with her. Your time is just as valuable as anyone else's. I would consider the source of the nasty, rude woman. If further comments are forth coming from her, I would specifically say, You, are not the only person here, and have already stated your opinion, how about letting someone else speak. Unless, of course you all feel that way, in which case, I will quit giving my time, and supplies.
> Easy Peasy!


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## judyr (Feb 20, 2011)

My advice - do what you feel best for you. Bless you.


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## kayrein (Aug 24, 2011)

Some people are just plain rude and ignorant. If you are enriching even one person's life with your kindness and skills, it may be rewarding enough for you to stick with it. Most Senior Centers have a newsletter. Maybe they already put the knitting class in a newsletter but they could put it in again and possibly get more interest.


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## luvs2knit50 (Feb 1, 2013)

grandmann said:


> Maybe you would be better off with a younger group. Possibly a 4H group or Scouts.
> I know from experience one of the Senior groups that I'm is turning into a gossip group.
> I enjoy knitting and learning I enjoy the groups where we share our ideas.


I agree. Maybe the library would like to have a class for after school. 4-H & Scouts are also good possibilities. I think these skills need to be passed on but the student needs to be enthusiastic. If my 2 GD are any indication, they want instant gratification. Not many projects are quick. I know we started a cup cozy that ended up finishing for my one GD & the younger one did finish a mini dishcloth...more like a 3 x 3" square, but at least she finished it. I think that would be the hardest thing working with younger folks...finding "instant" projects. Good luck & best wishes!


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## Alicatt (Aug 24, 2014)

Hello, 
I have a standard question (I practice saying this in front of a mirror that I say when someone is rude to me
"Are you trying to insult me?"
This question will confuse most obnoxious folk, and you are left looking like a Saint????


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## Julie's Mom (Feb 22, 2015)

A group of us -- about 4 -- went to an assisted living place every month last year, to try to help residents with their knitting. We have a bunch of donated needles and yarn, so don't have to use our own. It didn't work very well; few women came and their ability to knit was very low, even if they had knitted in the past. They were probably all over 85. None of them was going to be able to finish a project. Very frustrating. More power to anyone who can keep it up!


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## silversurfer (Nov 25, 2013)

There is no excuse for rudeness so that lady could have kept her mouth shut. However there is also no point in teaching something that people don't want to learn. If nobody is interested in your lessons then stop doing them.


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## Jean Keith (Feb 17, 2011)

That woman's rude remark wouldn't hurt MY feelings -- but it would definitely rub my fur the wrong way. Seems to be a rotten apple in every basket, and so difficult not to respond in kind.

I don't think I'd teach but would sit and knit with those that knit. It's enjoyable to share thoughts/hints with those of a like hobby. I was also thinking that the LYS clientele might be interested.


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## tonyastewart (Sep 1, 2014)

I have a question and not trying to be insensitive, why did you join? Think about this if it was to be popular or have people bowing and scraping you are in the wrong group, however, if it's just disappointment that you thought more would join, look at it this way, maybe the lady who spoke up while being insensitive wasn't trying to be just not interested. Also, one person has stuck at it in time she may teach 1,ooo more to knit and you were the reason why.
I think when most people say would you teach me it's 2 things it looks fun and they are gobsmacked, and it looks like they will make sweaters etc but not as easy for them to grasp and they give up because it doesn't make sense. I am a firm believer in one relative should never try and teach another anything as we tend to be impatient (I know I am)but I taught my 27 yo daughter 10 years ago to knit and crochet and she still knits she gave up many times but she kept coming back to it. It was wonderful that you gave your time but like the old addage you can take a horse to water but you can't make it drink is true of anything. Either don't give up OR find something you feel is more rewarding to you. Again not trying to offend but...


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## Munchn (Mar 3, 2013)

I agree with this post. That woman was rude.


martina said:


> Well, you seem to be wasting your time and efforts with this apart from one person, so I'd find a different group if I were you.


 :sm25: :sm25: :sm25:


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## PauletteB (Mar 10, 2011)

I have come to know that people can be so insensitive. My reaction would probably been the same. I like sharing my skills with people who are really interested.


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## Nina Weddle Tullis (Feb 13, 2011)

I would not let one person ruin it for me, especially since you have a couple who are interested. Ask those who are interested to help get another meeting place, one where the negative lady does not go, hopefully. Good luck.


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## knit-knit (Aug 22, 2016)

Welcome to volunteer work...........first, let me say that I try not to do things that I don't really want to do or believe strongly in doing, as there is little to no thanks for doing these "good works."

Secondly, the lack of success has nothing to do with you--it is simply the lack of interest or lack of willingness of the others to learn something new. And knitting is not a worthless endeavor--one can make beautiful things by knitting.

Third, sometimes it is just time to move on: find other groups or people. You can be assured there are people out there who would appreciate your efforts. Difficult, but they can be found. I wish you luck!


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## grannybell (Mar 12, 2013)

Jessica-Jean said:


> I'm very sorry that happened to you! I guess some folks - senior or not - just never learn to speak kindly.
> 
> If it's a good excuse to get out of the house and be active, keep it up and hope more receptive people will join.
> 
> If it's a bother and/or a heartache, drop it and do something more pleasing to you.


I totally agree. You don't need to be aggravated by unkind people/comments. Be kind to yourself. :sm02:


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## Sunny70 (Jul 25, 2014)

I tried to start a group in my condo building and had several people come a couple of time. Then it ended up with two people including me. I also wanted to restart the group at church and we were going great for awhile, we meet every other week. Now we are down to two, but have promises of the return of a couple this fall. I came prepared to each group with patterns, and asked the condo group to bring yarn and needles, at church we have both and ask only that the project the make using our yarn be made for charity. It's hard to get a time and day to get together, bu I keep trying! Don't give up and don't take that one remark stop you!


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## edithcarolf (Aug 25, 2012)

It was a very hurtful remark. It sounds like the lady who made it is only thinking of herself. Don't let a thoughtless person rob the one lady who is enjoying your lessons. Even if your efforts are only helping one person, then it's well worth it. Think of all the people on this Web site who help each one of us with our knitting /crochet questions. Their help is deeply appreciated by those of us who want to learn. Blessings to you for your kind heart.


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## Snooper's Ma (Jun 5, 2011)

I am a senior living in a senior living facility and started a needlework group. Some weeks there are 6, some weeks there is one and some it is just me. They come when they need help with what they are making and I usually can fix it. We have tried everything but I think it is the law of the group. I keep going and doing my thing and helping where I can. I guess it is the law of the get together group that they come when they have nothing else to do or need help. I'll keep going and keeping my fingers crossed. Good luck to you and keep your chin up.


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## margaretinoregon (Mar 31, 2013)

As I have repeated in the past, I am 92 and live in "assisted living". I have knitted for over 70 years, including doing custom knitting for several years. (until I got tired of knitting what others wanted, and decided to knit what I wanted) so I know your problem. When I moved here, I had many people interested in the fact that I knitted, and they all expressed the desire to learn. So the social director and I, along with my daughter who is an expert knitter tried to start a class. We asked people who were interested to sign up and we arranged to supply yarn and tools. Guess how many of the 20 who signed up, showed up???? Not one! I don't know if they are just lazy or what the problem is, but we dropped the class idea. I have since had several women ask me to knit something for them. I recently wore a shawl I had spent many hours knitting, and was asked how much would I charge to make them one! They were shocked when I told them $1,000! It took me nearly 1,000 hours to make the shawl and $1 an hour is slave wages, so I made it high enough that I didn't get any "takers" (thankfully!) People who do not do crafts have no idea how many hours work goes into making the finished object. As I said, they want instant gratification. So it is back to my knitting!!! :sm09:


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## PhoenixFire (Feb 26, 2014)

Frances6Pitts said:


> Only one has stuck with me and actually made anything. She told me that I was much more patient with them than the last lady.


bless you for helping this lady! i am certain she was not the rude one. if you decide to go back and continue teaching, remember this lady - not the rude one.

the rude one may be one of those people who are crotchety and mean about things they have failed with. in a strange twist, she might turn around and decide to join in with you and actually succeed in knitting something. or - she could just stay crotchety and mean and overly direct.

anyway - please find joy in what you do, whether you teach or not, knit or not... <3


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## babyknits (Sep 21, 2016)

While I understand your sense of disappointment and frustration, especially relating to the rudeness, however it's important to remember that being of service and bringing joy to just one person makes your efforts a wonderful success. It's hard not to be offended by rudeness, but I'll bet you are not really the target. Some seniors simply lose their verbal filters and likely she was only speaking for herself, not others, in the same way she speaks on other subjects as well. Hopefully you don't give up the idea of sharing your talents in some way. Sounds like you are a very good and patient teacher.


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## sockyarn (Jan 26, 2011)

Have gone through the same thing. The person who got you started had pressure on her to start a group so others would have some thing to do without finding out if any one wanted to do it. There you are stuck with no one wanting to do it and then you feel responsible to get things going. I do not take on such things any more. If there is an actual group involved in something I want to do then I will join. I will not take on teaching a group that dose not exist except in some ones hopes. Where I live now they are setting up a room for sewing with new sewing machines and all. I just know that they are going to be looking for some one to teach beginners to sew. I do know how but I am going to go into hiding. They did not fined out if any one wanted to learn to sew before starting this whole project. They are hoping that some one will if they provide the equipment and they were able to get a grant to pay for all of it. I do wish them well but not going to get involved.


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## sockyarn (Jan 26, 2011)

There is some thing missing here.


Janallyn said:


> You have more patience thanme, I was approached by a wonderful woman
> 
> Tablet dieing tomorrow will finish


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## Teddy bear (Jun 23, 2016)

Maybe the woman was jealous of your gift of knitting - she probably has tried it and cannot!

Maybe the older ones (85) as mentioned cannot do it - but that is not the point - YOU are giving of yourself and your time - how many people do that for an older person? My friend's mother was 105 when she died, and whenever Rose got agitated (she finally had dementia), Shirley her daughter would give her mother some yarn and a crochet hook and said "Ma, here's your crocheting" and Rose would take them (her eyes always closed), and "work" the hook and yarn - and immediately calmed down.

Although my own mother had Alzeheimer's for 25 years and did not know me, my mere presence calmed her down. The last 10 days of her life I spent with her 24/7 - every 2 hours when it was time to move her so she would not get bed sores, I would tell her "Mom, we're going to move you - don't worry, I am here, I'll take care of things, you do what you have to do (in my mind I was thinking - going about what you need to do in your own personal dying process). Mom never was agitated - whereas before when the staff would change her, she fought them.

My point? You NEVER know how you touch a person's life - don't disregard the small things, expecting to do only the big, great things. A simple thank you - a caress - spending time with someone - how can those ever be bought or replaced? Thank the person who cleans the public washrooms you use - "Thank you for keeping them clean." Watch the expressions - there may be a bounce in their steps, at least a smile on their lips. A horrible job in my eyes, with no thankfulness - except for your 'thank you'!


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## deexer (Sep 25, 2012)

I feel sorry for the rude lady. Obviously she has an unhappy life. Can you imagine living your life like that. Go knit and be open to anyone who joins you. If you see that lady again ask her what she likes to do, maybe there is something she can teach a group. You can drive her up the wall with kindness. I just love doing that to people.????


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## Teddy bear (Jun 23, 2016)

Yes! Kill them with KINDNESS!


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## st1tch (Dec 13, 2011)

Stick it out say while Xmas, others may be tempted when they realise you are much nicer than the other teacher. As for the catty remark, ignore it. My guess is the woman's had a go at it and can't master it so is being derisory about it now!


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## edithcarolf (Aug 25, 2012)

deexer said:


> I feel sorry for the rude lady. Obviously she has an unhappy life. Can you imagine living your life like that. Go knit and be open to anyone who joins you. If you see that lady again ask her what she likes to do, maybe there is something she can teach a group. You can drive her up the wall with kindness. I just love doing that to people.????


I love your attitude.


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## JYannucci (Nov 29, 2011)

Jessica-Jean said:


> I'm very sorry that happened to you! I guess some folks - senior or not - just never learn to speak kindly.
> 
> If it's a good excuse to get out of the house and be active, keep it up and hope more receptive people will join.
> 
> If it's a bother and/or a heartache, drop it and do something more pleasing to you.


 :sm24: :sm24: :sm24:


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## Pollard (Sep 17, 2011)

Sounds a very wise decision to me, I would have done the same. It was an all "give and no return" situation.You can now use your precious time for yourself, when you like and how you like. Winifred.


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## TNnanaof4 (Oct 25, 2012)

Jessica-Jean said:


> I'm very sorry that happened to you! I guess some folks - senior or not - just never learn to speak kindly.
> 
> If it's a good excuse to get out of the house and be active, keep it up and hope more receptive people will join.
> 
> If it's a bother and/or a heartache, drop it and do something more pleasing to you.


I agree with Jessica Jean.


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## Jessica-Jean (Mar 14, 2011)

Linda Mcg said:


> Some people have no idea what knitting is all about. I do high end art/craft show, all work designed and made by me. Every once in a while some one will come into my booth,look around and say, I thought that this was and art/craft show, what are you doing here?
> God bless them...... Most people like my work, have good sales and lots of discussions with fellow knitters, but those few are the pits.


Maybe a large sign saying 'Needlcraft" would douse such idiotic remarks?


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## lainey_h (Dec 14, 2013)

I wouldn't say you're wasting your time if someone is benefiting, but it sounds like maybe you should give up on the group thing. My mother lives in an independent living facility, and when I visit her (she lives in another city) I have dinner with her. There is one lady who is renowned for her crabbiness. But when I bring her a couple of cans of pears she lightens up, we talk about her past, she's an entirely different person. The crabby lady you mentioned probably just needs to vent, but if you can't bring her around, maybe see about just meeting with the woman who is enjoying it. If just the two of you could meet, maybe others will see that you're having fun and they'll want to join in.


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## Esther Decker (Aug 14, 2016)

Perhaps the one lady who is interested could have you over to her house, if she wants more instructions. Sounds like you were roped into it anyway. Most of all, if you enjoy going to the center, don't let anyone keep you from it.


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## alucalind (Jan 26, 2011)

I'd be offended as well. You are taking your time and using your resources to provide an experience that otherwise these people might not have had. I guess this shows rudeness and lack of courtesy are not necessarily generational and that those who should know better don't. 

If you've developed a relationship with the one person that has learned, perhaps you two can get together to coffee klatch and knit once in a while or break off and form a new group?


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## alucalind (Jan 26, 2011)

edithcarolf said:


> I love your attitude.


 :sm24: :sm24: :sm24: :sm24: :sm24: :sm24: :sm24:


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## alucalind (Jan 26, 2011)

Just saw this response... Too true, thank you from reminding me of this truth

:sm01: :sm24: 


memere0211 said:


> my 1st thought would be try not to take it personally -- consider the source & i don't care where you go or what group you're in, there is always going to be "that one" . . . even at church . . .
> 
> secondly, you're a hero to one person . . . she may have no one else who's willing to spend the time . . . if you feel your gift is being wasted, perhaps try another group but let your student know where you'll be . . .
> 
> getting back to the rude lady, don't give her the power to make you change what your doing if you don't want to . . . it's my experience that when someone is making an effort to make you feel less, it's their misguided attempt to make themselves feel more . . . used to tell my girls this all the time - don't give your power away! you're spending your time being hurt (and i don't say this in a critical way, just coming from experience) over a thoughtless, rude comment someone made and meanwhile this person has gone on her merry way without a 2nd thought about it in all probability. it's your decision how long you let her control what you do without even being around . . .


 :sm01: :sm24:


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## Windmill Knitter (Mar 31, 2012)

Sounds like some classrooms of high school students that I once taught! You'd think older ones would "get it," though, while teenagers often don't! You've done your best. You've gone above and beyond. I'd pack up my knitting supplies and go home. (I often thought of doing that as a teacher, but of course I couldn't!)


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## charlieandrus (Aug 12, 2016)

Frances6Pitts said:


> May I vent a little here? About 5-6 months ago I was invited by a neighbor to join our local Senior Center. She told me that there was a lady there who taught knitting and that "You might get some good tips from her. Bring your knitting with you." Ok, so I joined the group but the lady who was teaching either died or moved away. After seeing some of my work one of the staff asked me if I would like to teach. I told her that I would be happy to teach what I know so that is what I have been trying to do for these past few months. I have taken in yarn and needles and furnished projects that I thought would be good for beginners. I was trying to eliminate any excuses that I thought people might come up with. So far only 2 people have even tried to do anything. Only one has stuck with me and actually made anything. She told me that I was much more patient with them than the last lady. These people are seniors but not nursing home residents. What I am getting at is this...I am giving my time, my yarn, my needles, time looking for projects to work on, and my enthusiasm with no real results. Today I made a comment that "I sure would like to see some others take an interest in it." "The remark I got was this. "Nobody wants to do that crap." First of all I will say that this remark was made by a woman who is very outspoken but I do wonder if that is how they feel. What would you have thought? For now I have decided to stop going. My husband says I am wearing my heart on my sleeve but my feelings were hurt.


I can understand feeling hurt after a rude comment like that, but I hope it doesn't let it make you stop teaching. There are still two ladies who are enjoying your class and presumably you also enjoy the teaching. So continue on and let the uninterested go their own way. People will come and go (the fate of seniors, alas) and you may yet have more students to come. If you're enjoying the teaching, despite the number of students, carry on!


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## Georget (Jul 14, 2011)

If you like going to the senior center I would certainly continue. I teach knitting for a group from January to March at our local library. One class a week for 4-5 weeks of 2 hours each. Cost is $25.00 a person for materials and handouts describing the various stitches and patterns. I also hand out websites for them to find patterns. It is for beginners so the classes include casting on, knit stitch, purl stitch, binding off, yarn over and decrease. I usually sign up 15 to begin but by the third week there is on average 10 attending. I teach for the joy of knitting and encouraging others to knit. Some times those that drop out sign up for the lessons the next year. I would rather be around someone who appreciates my effort as your pal does. If you enjoy your student I would suggest she buy her yarn. I would give her a coupon and steer her to the proper yarn to buy. I've found that people who make snide remarks usually can't do the craft or are jealous put others down. You now have a knitting buddy. I would suggest she make something like easy slippers as a gift for someone. They don't take a lot of time or yarn and perhaps if others see they can save money by making gifts for loved ones or themselves they might be interested. Could the other person who taught have run into the same disinterest and so stopped teaching? Perhaps you could speak with the person who asked you to teach to find out if some may have requested someone to teach knitting and if when the other person stopped teaching they stopped coming to the center. Some people go to senior centers to play cards or to go on trips that are planned by the center. Others just like to go to talk with others or to complain. Being observant can help you determine whether or not others will be interested in the future and whether you want to continue.


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## Jessica-Jean (Mar 14, 2011)

Teddy bear said:


> Yes! Kill them with KINDNESS!


 :sm24: :sm24: :sm15: :sm15: :sm15:


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## CCNana (Mar 22, 2013)

soamaryllis said:


> I love this answer and believe this to be great advice. :sm02: :sm24: :sm24: :sm24:


Me, too.


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## angel whisperer (Jul 10, 2016)

I understand how you feel. I have dropped out of several groups due to rude comments and mean spirited women. Just last week while I spoke at
a meeting, one woman tried to cut me off and when I finished speaking about the scams that seniors should be aware of, this rude woman said, "moving
right along." Remember, there is one in every crowd. They are called the spoiler. Our job is to keep to our ideals and help where we can. A woman like 
that is carrying around anger. Don't let them spoil your passion.


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## rreuveny (Jan 1, 2016)

IT sound to me that the teaching was a byproduct of the social functioning of the club. if I was in that situation, I would look for a yarn store that has knitting gatherings and join them. you will not be treated like that there, and your work would be appreciated. you could teach one another new things. you could even knit for charity. stay away from people who poison your soil. you don't have time for them. stick to people who respect you.


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## Wooli (Jul 18, 2016)

I agree with Deexer. The rude lady isn't happy with herself or her life. You may be able to kill her with kindness, but the kindness must be sincere.


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## Sarah Chana (Apr 15, 2014)

You're right. Let yourself heal, then decide what you wish to do. Don't forget though, 10% is considered to be successful. Any more is 'gravy'. :sm24:


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## RenewedKnitter (Aug 20, 2014)

Maybe that's why the lady that was there before is no longer coming?!?!


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## kitchiej (Jul 14, 2016)

Sorry your feelings were hurt , I think you should make people supply their own yarn and needles. Just go for the knitting and social part, forget the rude person she probably does not have friends, she is what I call a 2% , in other words those people are there they are the minority and they hurt like a hang nail. You just cut it off and let it go. If you are 70 I am sure this has happened before....it is what it is. Suck it up and get on with enjoying the good part.


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## SAMkewel (Mar 5, 2011)

Frances6Pitts said:


> May I vent a little here? About 5-6 months ago I was invited by a neighbor to join our local Senior Center. She told me that there was a lady there who taught knitting and that "You might get some good tips from her. Bring your knitting with you." Ok, so I joined the group but the lady who was teaching either died or moved away. After seeing some of my work one of the staff asked me if I would like to teach. I told her that I would be happy to teach what I know so that is what I have been trying to do for these past few months. I have taken in yarn and needles and furnished projects that I thought would be good for beginners. I was trying to eliminate any excuses that I thought people might come up with. So far only 2 people have even tried to do anything. Only one has stuck with me and actually made anything. She told me that I was much more patient with them than the last lady. These people are seniors but not nursing home residents. What I am getting at is this...I am giving my time, my yarn, my needles, time looking for projects to work on, and my enthusiasm with no real results. Today I made a comment that "I sure would like to see some others take an interest in it." "The remark I got was this. "Nobody wants to do that crap." First of all I will say that this remark was made by a woman who is very outspoken but I do wonder if that is how they feel. What would you have thought? For now I have decided to stop going. My husband says I am wearing my heart on my sleeve but my feelings were hurt.


I'm sorry this happened to you. You will note that I am in Michigan; I ran into the same attitudes here at the Senior Center. I don't attend any longer because if you don't belong to a lifelong clique of locals, you will never belong. I've been here for only 52 years...so please don't take it personally. I don't because I have better things to do. I now belong to a knitting group in a nearby small town in the next county where I have never lived and am welcome whenever I wish to attend or not; most of the members are of Senior Center age and from my city, the others are from surrounding small towns and cities. Go figure. We actually knit/crochet and like one another ;~D. I can understand your feelings being hurt because the comment you got was unexpected; in my city it's not expected to be welcome. I know several others who have tried other special interest groups here and run into the same unfortunate attitudes. I call it rolling with the punches or par for the course.


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## state55 (Feb 26, 2016)

You might suggest to the students they could learn to knit by making baby hats for the local hospital's newborns and also for the premies (live births and stillborn, it's so sad to think nothing fits them). Then the students might take more of an interest in learning to knit if their tiny, newly knitted items would be for a worthy cause. Tiny blankets could be small squares knitted by the students and then sewn together. Check with the hospital first. Good luck.


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## Fundogknit (Jul 22, 2015)

Hi, l teach exercise classes for many years. Twice a week I teach senior exercises. The rest of the week I teach regular population classes. I've come across rude people in both groups. It used to bother me. But over the years I've realized, their rudeness has nothing to do with me. It has more to do with them. Most often they are uncomfortable because of their inadequacys. It is important not to take it personally. 
Also, I've heard this saying, and it is hilarious. As we grow older we grow more into ourself. So, if she was born nasty, she's really really nasty now.


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## Pat T (Dec 19, 2014)

What a great response!!!


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## Pat T (Dec 19, 2014)

Alicatt said:


> Hello,
> I have a standard question (I practice saying this in front of a mirror that I say when someone is rude to me
> "Are you trying to insult me?"
> This question will confuse most obnoxious folk, and you are left looking like a Saint????


I just love this response!!! I had a good chuckle over it. I hope I remember it the next time someone is rude to me.


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## auntiehenno (Apr 8, 2012)

I, too wear my heart on my sleeve. I agree with majority


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## bakeknitsew (Jun 26, 2013)

I worked at a Senior Center back in the late 1990's. One of the dear old ladies once told me...."if someone is mean now, they were mean when they were younger" I have found that to be true.


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## OpheliaJ (Jul 9, 2016)

I would feel terrible if that happened to me! I understand totally that you would want to withdraw from the group scene and maybe just set up meetings with the one woman who has stuck with it. Words have power and we frequently use them carelessly. That old adage about sticks and stones has always annoyed me: if words didn't hurt so much, verbal bullying wouldn't be that big a deal, would it? I say, when you're ready to go out and teach, if that's what you want to do, go for it! In the meantime, there's nothing wrong with pulling back and processing what happened until it isn't fresh in your mind and heart and doesn't hurt so much. It's the only thing I know how to do when someone hurts me. Hugs.


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## morningstar (Mar 24, 2012)

Frances6Pitts said:


> May I vent a little here? About 5-6 months ago I was invited by a neighbor to join our local Senior Center. She told me that there was a lady there who taught knitting and that "You might get some good tips from her. Bring your knitting with you." Ok, so I joined the group but the lady who was teaching either died or moved away. After seeing some of my work one of the staff asked me if I would like to teach. I told her that I would be happy to teach what I know so that is what I have been trying to do for these past few months. I have taken in yarn and needles and furnished projects that I thought would be good for beginners. I was trying to eliminate any excuses that I thought people might come up with. So far only 2 people have even tried to do anything. Only one has stuck with me and actually made anything. She told me that I was much more patient with them than the last lady. These people are seniors but not nursing home residents. What I am getting at is this...I am giving my time, my yarn, my needles, time looking for projects to work on, and my enthusiasm with no real results. Today I made a comment that "I sure would like to see some others take an interest in it." "The remark I got was this. "Nobody wants to do that crap." First of all I will say that this remark was made by a woman who is very outspoken but I do wonder if that is how they feel. What would you have thought? For now I have decided to stop going. My husband says I am wearing my heart on my sleeve but my feelings were hurt.


Many ways to look at this and here are a few: These ladies use knitting as an excuse to gather and just chat. It does seem they are not interested in knitting. People appreciate something if they need to contribute...a show, a concert, a craft. Why are you supplying them with yarn, etc.? If they wanted to learn, they would find a way to get their own.  You sound like a kind person who also would enjoy helping others learn your craft. Perhaps you should look for another group and take back all those supplies!!! Tell these gals that you understand that they are not interested and you will be helping others who are. Your talent and kindness would be welcome by those who really wish to learn.


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## Louette (May 9, 2011)

Frances6Pitts said:


> May I vent a little here? About 5-6 months ago I was invited by a neighbor to join our local Senior Center. She told me that there was a lady there who taught knitting and that "You might get some good tips from her. Bring your knitting with you." Ok, so I joined the group but the lady who was teaching either died or moved away. After seeing some of my work one of the staff asked me if I would like to teach. I told her that I would be happy to teach what I know so that is what I have been trying to do for these past few months. I have taken in yarn and needles and furnished projects that I thought would be good for beginners. I was trying to eliminate any excuses that I thought people might come up with. So far only 2 people have even tried to do anything. Only one has stuck with me and actually made anything. She told me that I was much more patient with them than the last lady. These people are seniors but not nursing home residents. What I am getting at is this...I am giving my time, my yarn, my needles, time looking for projects to work on, and my enthusiasm with no real results. Today I made a comment that "I sure would like to see some others take an interest in it." "The remark I got was this. "Nobody wants to do that crap." First of all I will say that this remark was made by a woman who is very outspoken but I do wonder if that is how they feel. What would you have thought? For now I have decided to stop going. My husband says I am wearing my heart on my sleeve but my feelings were hurt.


I too am sorry your feelings were hurt. Some people are just not nice and that seems to be true of the woman who spoke out. It's just my opinion but if that one woman is enjoying you sharing your talent not to mention your yarn and needles then it's worth it. I think I'd ask your student how she feels about what you are doing. If it's not something you both look forward to then you could just step down. My husband would say the same thing your's did. ???? They tend to think alike, Lol


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## Hazel Blumberg - McKee (Sep 9, 2011)

Wow. What a nasty thing to say to you! I don't think I'd bother to waste my time on just one student. And certainly not on this obnoxious one!

Hazel


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## helenaus (Sep 9, 2016)

Just one thought comes to mind. Maybe the 'outspoken' lady has been doing some (as we say in Australia) 'white-anting' on the other ladies and it might be worthwhile talking individually to a couple of them - perhaps they would really like to join in but she's been undermining you or even bullying a little? Besides is there an opportunity to visit the one knitter and help her continue, just as an individual rather than as a teacher? It would be a pity for her to drop her new hobby.


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## helenaus (Sep 9, 2016)

Just one thought comes to mind. Maybe the 'outspoken' lady has been doing some (as we say in Australia) 'white-anting' on the other ladies and it might be worthwhile talking individually to a couple of them - perhaps they would really like to join in but she's been undermining you or even bullying a little? Besides is there an opportunity to visit the one knitter and help her continue, just as an individual rather than as a teacher? It would be a pity for her to drop her new hobby.


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## Ask4j (May 21, 2011)

Wow this has brought a lot of comments which I haven't covered yet but here's my take. I too have considered forming a class for knitting or crocheting or both at our Senior Center and make the class nearly free (charge for the use of the facility) but it is in the thinking stages. These are the factors I have come up with so far:

- Many seniors have lost the ability to learn new things or may have had a small stroke that not even their doctor knows about or on medications--this affects their ability to coordinate one's fingers
- Many seniors are depressed or bored, have moved to a senior facility where nearly everything is done for them and they like it this way.
- Many seniors have just put this kind of thing into the past and prefer other types of entertainment or be entertained.

You obviously have a passion for knitting which I too share. I would like to be able to help people see things differently and give it a try. I think if it were started casually in a lounge area where they can come without any kind of commitment--just slowly get started. Most will find it very difficult but you need to make it really easy like cast on 20 stitches on large but not too large needles (8 to 10 US) and have them learn to just knit, tell them to take it home and just knit and knit and bring it back. When they do, it will be a mess--don't say anything just rip it out cast on 20 stitches and go over it for a few minutes and have them practice in front of you for a bit then send them home. Just a step at a time makes it possible for their hands to build strength.

A book that was suggested here on KP is The Knitting Circle by Ann Hood. It's a story about a young woman who lost a child in an accident and became recluse and depressed. Her mother gives her a bit of a push to start knitting. Set up an appointment at a shop, she actually shows up. It's a book about how knitting is mental therapy, that it relaxes us to accept and deal with inner pain--meditation. So this could be a motivator for seniors to "help keep them mentally fit". 

One more suggestion INCLUDE MEN! Men are usually retired from a busy job, like women (we knit, cook, sew), but they need to channel their frustrations in not having the daily routine and will go to their "man caves" and do wood crafting and all sorts of things but when they move to a senior living that opportunity disappears so this could be a very good substitute. We have many talented man here on KP, you may have noticed. 

I would start by recruiting that woman who made the terrible comment--she needs it more than anyone--everyone has a good side. I don't judge people just try to get along and sometimes you actually make a difference in someone's life give them a new path to walk.


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## Ask4j (May 21, 2011)

babs46 said:


> I understand how you feel. I have dropped out of several groups due to rude comments and mean spirited women. Just last week while I spoke at
> a meeting, one woman tried to cut me off and when I finished speaking about the scams that seniors should be aware of, this rude woman said, "moving
> right along." Remember, there is one in every crowd. They are called the spoiler. Our job is to keep to our ideals and help where we can. A woman like
> that is carrying around anger. Don't let them spoil your passion.


Spoilers are just that, spoiled, used to a lot of attention that they no longer get because their parents are long gone and probably husband/wife as well. They just need attention. Anytime I've had to talk to a group and get one of these, I give them my full attention and ask was there something they wanted to add that would benefit the group, things like that. I don't fear or put up with bullies ever--their inner child is just acting up.


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## Ask4j (May 21, 2011)

chooksnpinkroses said:


> I probably wouldn't go back either... I'd need some measure of enthusiasm from at least half of them to keep me coming...
> You have more patience than me.
> 
> I tried teaching a group of women to shuttle tatt many years ago... I learnt one thing; I am not a natural 'teacher'. Not one of those women managed to 'get' the knack of the one important part, flipping the stitch from working thread to ring thread. Those who shuttle tatt will know what I mean...
> ...


Tatting that's a tough craft to learn. I did when I was in my 40's from a wonderful lady who was a school teacher in her time and this had been her favorite hobby--school teachers were not allowed to marry so she was a single woman). I spent at lease 3 hours with her then practiced and practiced until I got it. In the past the only way you could learn tatting was directly from an experienced tatter. Now there is a new/old craft called nalbinding or viking knitting, a very old craft going back to Egyptian times. It is similar to tatting but with wool yarn using a carved wood/horn/stone needle. Very difficult to learn but, hey, we now have Youtube.


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## Jessica-Jean (Mar 14, 2011)

Fundogknit said:


> ... Also, I've heard this saying, and it is hilarious. *As we grow older we grow more into ourselves. So, if she was born nasty, she's really really nasty now.*


I hadn't heard that one before. Good one!


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## chinook (Apr 25, 2015)

No logical reason I can think of to keep doing it. Chalk it up and find a better venue for your commitment.


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## Kansas g-ma (Mar 7, 2014)

Ask4j said:


> - Many seniors have lost the ability to learn new things or may have had a small stroke that not even their doctor knows about or on medications--this affects their ability to coordinate one's fingers
> - Many seniors are depressed or bored, have moved to a senior facility where nearly everything is done for them and they like it this way.
> - Many seniors have just put this kind of thing into the past and prefer other types of entertainment or be entertained. .


I can only speak for our senior center. Almost no one who comes to our center is so bad off they can't learn new things (exception-- those with dementia) I've taught all kinds of classes there over the past 19 years since I retired. Some do lack the $$ for supplies and, yes, I do know you value things more if you've had to put in some $$ for it. Maybe do a charity project to get them started. And invite those who know how to knit to come also.

Depressed/bored/things done for them-- these people do not usually come to out center. It is full of people who are doing things, live independently. And knitting for a worthwhile charity might help with the depression.

If they've put it in the past, yeah, there is no hope they will join you.


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## knittingrocks (Jan 1, 2014)

I would find another place that would enjoy what I am trying to teach. People that are rude should be hung by their toes.Perhaps a nursing home for the ones that still can function. I use to work at a nursing home. Some of the ladies and men really do have it together still they just are not able to live alone they forget to take med or eat or something of that nature. Good luck to you! You have a heart of gold don't let a few spoil that for you! Cynthia


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## dylansnana (Feb 11, 2011)

I will probably ruffle some feathers with this response and I admit I did not read all the pages because they seemed to be almost the same thing. I belong to my senior Center in my town. I joined because I like to play cards and found quite a few people to play with. I have also met a lot of different seniors from many forms of life, rich, comfortable, poor, with family or without. Many of the seniors that come are dropped off by their "family so they don't need to worry about them for 8 hours. Some are not educated but are hard working people that didn't have the advantage a lot of us have. Some of them are dealing with spouses that may have alzheimers or a worse health problem. The one that seems to yell the loudest is usually the one who is alone and has no support system. They never had anyone try to teach them anything so they are bitterly against anyone who does try. Their problem not yours, but doesn't necessarily need to be condemned for being rude. Maybe you should try to learn a little more about her. Our center has may donations, no one pays for anything and trust me there is more yarn, needles etc that no one needs to bring anything. Teaching in a senior center is hard. It takes lots of patience, maybe the ones that first came and then quit found out it hurt their arthritic hands. Did you ask any of them why they quit? I would ask you to try again, make an announcement, try again in the main room, not an off room if that is where you were teaching. people will stop by to see what you are doing. Don't give up, but please don't give up on these people either. Many of them would love the attention, they just don't know how to act when they get it. Teach them! Thanks for listening.


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## run4fittness (May 22, 2011)

So sorry! Sounds like it is time to quit this endeavor. That was an exceeding rude comment and hopefully someone else took her to task about it.


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## romagica (Jul 30, 2014)

Frances6Pitts said:


> Thank you all for your kind thoughts. I may decide to go back but right now my feelings are a little tender. I'm 70 years old and now that I finally have time to do this I thought it would be much more rewarding. While I was still working I did volunteer crafting at the local health and rehab center. Those people were so appreciative of anything we did. Even though I am also a Senior, I am not content to just play cards and dominoes. I wanted to share what I enjoy doing. I'm not giving up...........just backing off for a while.


Perhaps go back to the local health and rehab center where you have already experienced success?


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## iblimey (Aug 5, 2015)

I would ask the rude lady what she means by "nobody wants to do that crap"? As you were asked to teach, that is a plus in itself. Not everyone can teach knitting or anything else for that matter. Ask the rude lady what she wants to teach. I would just show up and enjoy the other ladies and not let miss rude mouth get under my skin. She is not worth it. Don't deprive yourself of the enjoyment of sharing time with other ladies in the group.


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## JanetLove2Knit (Sep 18, 2013)

You did make a difference for that one woman who stuck with it. Maybe the 2 of you could still knit together. You might even get some men knitters. It's amazing how knitting is therapeutic on so many levels. The rude lady probably treats everyone that way.


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## Ginny K (Jun 1, 2011)

There doesn't seem to be much interest for this group. Do what makes you happy, life is too short to do otherwise.
Look for another group, or just simply state to the people that show up, "There doesn't seem to be alot of interest in this group, how do you all feel?"


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## Damama (Oct 2, 2011)

If one gal is interested and thinks you are doing a good thing, perhaps you can arrange to meet with her and continue teaching her. Perhaps when others see how she is progressing they will also become interested. 
Ignore the rude one, she is the unhappy one.


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## Lizmossstitch (Oct 1, 2015)

It was so thoughtful of you to go there and try as best you could to introduce something new . Why was that nasty woman there or any other person who was not interested ?? They should get their own supplies . 
I once wanted to help at an after school program near me but they wanted every single thing to be supplied !! Surely it wouldn't cost that much to get a child needles and some yarn . I had to stop because of my health but I did not go back . 
Take a break for now .


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## Betz2468 (Jul 20, 2016)

Just a thought - when I was young I took knitting in 4-H. I honestly think I did it because some of my friends were and I liked the treats that were served after we met as a group. I was always the knitter that got a C on her project at fair. Today I can knit with the best of them. I like both knitting and crocheting. Often when I am knitting, I think of the lady that tried so hard to teach me and I just "pray" that she can see her efforts of years gone by were not wasted. I may not have been a good knitter than but NOW everything she taught me when I was young is used when I pick up a pattern. God Bless Anyone who has the patience to "teach" for they have very good hearts and lots of patience!


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## Jessica-Jean (Mar 14, 2011)

Lizmossstitch said:


> It was so thoughtful of you to go there and try as best you could to introduce something new . Why was that nasty woman there or any other person who was not interested ?? They should get their own supplies .
> I once wanted to help at an after school program near me but they wanted every single thing to be supplied !! Surely it wouldn't cost that much to get a child needles and some yarn . I had to stop because of my health but I did not go back .
> Take a break for now .


Since many grammar school teachers are shelling out their own cash to supply their pupils with needed supplies, it never entered my mind to ask that the yarn and needles be supplied when I was asked to teach some first-graders to knit almost forty years ago. I had some needles and I had some yarn; I gladly brought them to the class.


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## Jessica-Jean (Mar 14, 2011)

Betz2468 said:


> Just a thought - when I was young I took knitting in 4-H. I honestly think I did it because some of my friends were and I liked the treats that were served after we met as a group. I was always the knitter that got a C on her project at fair. Today I can knit with the best of them. I like both knitting and crocheting. *Often when I am knitting, I think of the lady that tried so hard to teach me and I just "pray" that she can see her efforts of years gone by were not wasted.* I may not have been a good knitter than but NOW everything she taught me when I was young is used when I pick up a pattern. God Bless Anyone who has the patience to "teach" for they have very good hearts and lots of patience!


That's how I feel too! But it was my grandmother whose patience I tried severely. I was beyond clumsy! I kept forgetting from one day to the next how to (cast-on/bind-off/knit/purl/increase/decrease), and nagging her to show me yet again. I'm certain she never imagined I'd ever get the hang of it and continue knitting for the rest of my life. I wish I could have shown her how far her teaching went.


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## Bebekka (Jun 4, 2011)

I think it would be nice to continue with the one woman who appreciates you...forget the rest, and maybe let her work on her own and meet up with her when she has a problem or calls you to meet with her.


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## Laujob (Sep 5, 2014)

Please don't take instances like this to heart. If you like some of the members, keep attending the meetings and just knit your own things. Often people will see what you are doing, and bring their own craft items. Sometimes they might ask for help, which you can give. I've had to learn that eagerness to teach others, can sometimes be a turn-off to those others. So, these days, I do my own thing. Many people look at what I'm doing, and admire --but make remarks like " I don't have time to do that" or, "Wish someone had taught me when I was young." My response is, " If you want to learn, you can do it. If you are interested, I can help." and then I just leave it.


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## Lilyan (Dec 16, 2015)

If you enjoy going and teaching then you should continue. You only need one student to be a teacher. :sm01:


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## dribla (Nov 14, 2011)

I am so very sorry this has happened to you. I remember many years ago I joined a group that helped young mums and you learnt crafts. I was eager to learn crochet. The lady who was teaching was rather elderly, and after about 15 minutes she told me to my face that I was not worth teaching, as I was left handed, and to try something easier. I was hurt as I was in my late 20's and really wanted to learn. I have now taught myself from watching youtube and help from the lovely people on this site. 

Di


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## jxsmit56 (Oct 14, 2015)

There are two kinds of people: givers and takers. You are surely a giver and this extremely rude person is a taker. Walk away from her. You have generously given your time and talent and supplies to garner interest for these ladies. I would ask the two that are interested if they would like to continue meeting either in one of their homes or your home or find a public place like a Panera's or library to meet in. My group rotates to different member's homes and we have come to care about each other and the families. Don't quit. Hope you find a group worthy of you.


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## dachsmom (Aug 23, 2011)

Some people don't have any filters and think everyone wants their opinion. Wrong! Anyway, why not just maybe meet with the one who showed interest as a social thing instead of a class. If you are wasting your time trying to have class then I would give it up for awhile and do something enjoyable. Find a knitting group who actually want to knit!


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## Pocahontas (Apr 15, 2011)

Lilyan said:


> If you enjoy going and teaching then you should continue. You only need one student to be a teacher. :sm01:


I like this response. Keep going and work with that one lady and only accept others into your teaching circle if they show an interest. Others there may benefit from watching the progress your student is making. Try to put that 'crappy' remark behind you and enjoy the time you have with the others.


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## Ask4j (May 21, 2011)

Vogue just posted this article on FB - a good read indeed! 
http://knitting.diyeverywhere.com/2016/09/15/what-knitting-is-doing-to-your-health-that-you-probably-never-knew-about-/


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## dialfred (Nov 21, 2011)

I think you're wasting your efforts there, but you might continue privately with the one who showed interest. Could be a new friend, too. Maybe this particular senior center attracts mostly those who have no interest in anything new. If you like teaching, see if your library has a place & time, or even a local yarn shop. Our local college sometimes offers knitting classes.


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## Cheryl Jaeger (Oct 25, 2011)

DeePickens said:


> Do not feel bad. I have been trying to teach girls in a children's home for the last 18 months and out of about ten girls just two or three have learned the garter stitch. But they thank me every time and the talk is more important to them . We have worked with beads and patchwork and I try to keep their interest. I also did what you were doing only I worked with embroidery. Only two out of ten did anything with it but they enjoyed it. I would just not go back as that was extremely rude. Some people just do not have any social skills,but that was downright mean. I have found that if people have to pay they will pay more attention and will not act so stupid. Live and learn. I am 89 and this old world is fun to sit back and watch. Thank you for trying.


I love your way of looking at life and I agree with you that if people have to pay for something,( not all people) they seem to appreciate it more. Go figure ????


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## Frances6Pitts (Jan 14, 2016)

Ths is a very interesting article. Thanks for sharing.


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## luvrcats (Dec 7, 2014)

If you and your efforts are not appreciated--taken for granted--and nobody seems to be interested--then find yourself something else to do with your valuable time! I am certain you will find a spot where you and your time will be appreciated. No use wasting time on those who do not want to put forth the effort to accomplish something useful and fun. Volunteer for charity projects! Don't give up working with others--there IS a group out there that truly WANTS you! Keep smiling!


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## _lovable70 (Oct 26, 2012)

Many who admire the finished results of knitting and crochet often want to learn one or both.
I have, over time, expended much effort accommodating them. The results: some have made a good
amount of progress but then never continue to knit or crochet; some cannot do either even
though they really do try; some begin well but keep making mistakes and cannot
correct them even when shown multiple times; the rare bird learns and continues. 

In one case, a person who professed wanting to learn actually wanted
me to make the item she admired! Another brought me a medium amount of colorful
roving she had spun but had no idea what to make with it. I made her a very nice
clutch bag in drop stitch with a wired flower closing, AND I lined it with yarn I had on hand here. 
She really did admire it, BUT, she asked me if I like wool yarn. I said yes. She then said, "Well I have
some wool yarn the color of VOMIT that you can have." So, yes indeed, there are some
very unhappy ladies out there. As they say, "No good deed goes unpunished." 
Just take comfort in knowing you were generous.


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## shawaneemom (Feb 25, 2011)

There are always people who speak without thinking. If you continue to go the senior center, keep helping your friend, and you could set a date to start a new group. I am afraid that many people fear failure.


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## KateLyn11 (Jul 19, 2014)

My thoughts: Don't abandon your faithful student. Continue to teach her at the senior center or elsewhere. Inform the staff that you will be discontinuing formal classes due to lack of interest, but are open to teaching a "class" in the future if there is increased interest. Even if you don't want to put yourself through that again, it eases you into "no" and helps staff feel less guilty about asking you. If you can continue with your current student at the center, if anyone shows an interest you could invite them to pull up a chair to watch and ask questions. As they leave you could say something like, "Sally and I meet here on Tuesdays about 2pm. If you'd like to join us bring ___ yarn and size ___ needles and we'll help you get started". No pressure, no formal expectations, you don't need to "recruit". Then you would just be congenial individuals sharing a mutual interest. I would bring a skein of inexpensive yarn and appropriate needles as loaners in case the person stopped by again but still wasn't sure they wanted to commit.


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## BarbaraL (Aug 23, 2011)

Some famous philosopher once said "Familiarity breeds contempt". Therefore where you are wanted much, go little. Where you are wanted little, go not at all". As we age, some people get bitter, and they get it all over other people who are just there to help. If you enjoy working with the one person, go with that. If you would rather do something else with your time, don't be a martyr. Life is too short to cast your pearls where they are not appreciated. Love yourself. Have dignity and don't take abuse. Snarky comments are abusive and indicate unhappiness about the speaker, nothing to do with you personally.


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## edithcarolf (Aug 25, 2012)

BarbaraL said:


> Some famous philosopher once said "Familiarity breeds contempt". Therefore where you are wanted much, go little. Where you are wanted little, go not at all". As we age, some people get bitter, and they get it all over other people who are just there to help. If you enjoy working with the one person, go with that. If you would rather do something else with your time, don't be a martyr. Life is too short to cast your pearls where they are not appreciated. Love yourself. Have dignity and don't take abuse. Snarky comments are abusive and indicate unhappiness about the speaker, nothing to do with you personally.


Barbara, you are very insightful and wise. I am going to keep a copy of your post for future reference.


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## Carla584167 (Dec 15, 2014)

Frances6pitts, I wish you lived near me. I would gladly pick your brains and learn all you had to teach. Sorry things didn't work out for you. Some people don't know a gift when it's staring them in the face.


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## Frances6Pitts (Jan 14, 2016)

To Dylansnana....Thank you for your response. I understand that knitting isn't for everyone. I also have problems with my hands (severely dry skin and some arthritis) but I love making things so I trudge on with it. I offered my yarn and needles mostly because I paid little or nothing for them because most came from thrift stores. I figured that if I took away all the excuses that maybe, just maybe someone would take me up on my offer. It has been quite a while since I first posted this entry. Since then I have gone back to the center and still have the same 2 ladies working with me. I get the occasional person who is curious enough to try it for a brief while. I have been told over and over "Thank you for taking so much patience with me." I tell them I am willing to help them as long as they want to try. When they tell me they don't think they can do it I understand and don't press it. Sometimes other women sit with us and just watch or bring some other hand work with them. We enjoy our time together so I feel it is worth it. I also don't avoid the outspoken one and I have tried some of the "Kill them with kindness method". So all in all things have worked out OK. I am still looking for some to REALLY want to learn...........we shall see.


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## Frances6Pitts (Jan 14, 2016)

I know it has been quite a while since I first posted about my knitting group. I want to give you all a follow up. I am still going to the senior center as before but since then I have started a group to teach quilting. I am proud to say that I have had great response to this. We started with about 4 of us and now have grown to around 8-10 on most days. They keep telling me how much they are enjoying this and so am I. We just finished our first quilt which we put up for a raffle at the center. Everyone is talking about how much they want to win the quilt. We are now well into our second quilt. I am so glad they are having fun with this. I am still enjoying my knitting even though no one knits with me. I am still making the Poppets dolls and also socks. Funny thing is that most of these I am selling to people at the center. I guess everyone just has their own niche. They just have to figure out what it is.


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## IslandTime (Apr 20, 2012)

Maybe the lady who was teaching before you did not move away or die - could be she'd just had enough! I don't understand what the setup is there - you say it's not a nursing home, so aren't they free to leave? If they don't want to knit - why are they there? They could all just meet for coffee or tea, or whatever. And why on earth would the one who thinks knitting is "crap" be there? Shaking my head over that one! I think it would be lovely - and worthwhile - to help seniors get started or get back to knitting and kudos to you for your efforts. Before you give up, would it be possible to get the staff to put a blurb in their newsletter if they have one, and a notice on the bulletin board, saying that the knitting group has a new leader and is welcoming all who would like to learn, and knit with friends. (or something to that effect)? Maybe if you could get some new people in there the current group would go elsewhere. The fact that one person mentioned that you are more patient - makes me wonder if the lady before you was a bit impatient and some people might have become discouraged and left. Good luck with this - your heart's in the right place, that's for sure.


Frances6Pitts said:


> May I vent a little here? About 5-6 months ago I was invited by a neighbor to join our local Senior Center. She told me that there was a lady there who taught knitting and that "You might get some good tips from her. Bring your knitting with you." Ok, so I joined the group but the lady who was teaching either died or moved away. After seeing some of my work one of the staff asked me if I would like to teach. I told her that I would be happy to teach what I know so that is what I have been trying to do for these past few months. I have taken in yarn and needles and furnished projects that I thought would be good for beginners. I was trying to eliminate any excuses that I thought people might come up with. So far only 2 people have even tried to do anything. Only one has stuck with me and actually made anything. She told me that I was much more patient with them than the last lady. These people are seniors but not nursing home residents. What I am getting at is this...I am giving my time, my yarn, my needles, time looking for projects to work on, and my enthusiasm with no real results. Today I made a comment that "I sure would like to see some others take an interest in it." "The remark I got was this. "Nobody wants to do that crap." First of all I will say that this remark was made by a woman who is very outspoken but I do wonder if that is how they feel. What would you have thought? For now I have decided to stop going. My husband says I am wearing my heart on my sleeve but my feelings were hurt.


 :sm24:


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## KitKat789 (May 17, 2016)

I wouldn't go back either. Re the one person who was interested in learning, refer her to a knitting class at the LYS if there is one in your area. It may be that the rude person has dementia or Alzhiemer's, which can cause personality changes. Sounds to me like the senior center is taking advantage of your kindness.


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## Kimmiemd (May 20, 2017)

Thank you for the update, I always wonder what happened! . I am glad you are having a good time sharing your talents with people who are appreciative.


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## Kimmiemd (May 20, 2017)

Oops, I hit send before finishing. Just wanted to say that as they are all seniors-the rude lady who called knitting 'crap' maybe was in a stage of dementia or Alzheimer's. Glad you didn't let it stop you from what you love to do!


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## Frances6Pitts (Jan 14, 2016)

Just a word of explanation about our "center"...We have a fairly large group that attends on a regular basis. They have a game room for things like dominoes, cards, pokeno, ect. and also a very nice ceramic shop on site. (they make beautiful items which are then sold and raise money for the center.) My point is that not all of the members can afford it so I thought that my knitting would be something any of them could participate in. We all have group games that we play together. So far the quilting has been a big hit and I will stick with this until it isn't anymore. Who knows, I may find someone later who wants to learn to knit.


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