# What would be your reply--



## Glenlady (Mar 25, 2013)

to someone when they looked at a little knitted purse you had made, and asked'' are you too mean to buy one '' I wanted something to just pick up in between other stuff I'm knitting.
It's just garter stitch, using up some of my stash, I lined it, added some beads and other bits of embellishment,I thought it would be handy to put cell phone, wallet, and lipstick in when I go visiting, or somewhere I don't need my handbag, she neither knits or crochets so obviously doesn't know the feeling we achieve when we make something.
By the way I am not mean, I saved a lot of ££££'s up and treated myself to a'' Modalu'' bag, the kind Pippa Middleton has, but I didn't show it to her 
  :mrgreen: :XD:


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## kammyv4 (Aug 6, 2012)

I think I would have thrown something, or said, "no, you mean you don't have one, they are the latest style."


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## jonibee (Nov 3, 2011)

I think you meant "cheap" not mean..and it certainly would be met with " It's for me to know and you to find out"..you don't owe any explanation unless it would clarify that rude remark.


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## Daisybel (Nov 27, 2012)

kammyv4 said:


> I think I would have thrown something, or said, "no, you mean you don't have one, they are the latest style."


Perfect reply! Then charge her LOTS if she asked you to make one for her.


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## franci6810 (Dec 18, 2012)

kammyv4 said:


> I think I would have thrown something, or said, "no, you mean you don't have one, they are the latest style."


 :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## pamjlee (Mar 11, 2012)

Some friend. I think i would have said something like " obviously you have never felt the fulfillment of creating something yourself. "


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## Glenlady (Mar 25, 2013)

Daisybel said:


> Perfect reply! Then charge her LOTS if she asked you to make one for her.


  :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## sutclifd (Feb 26, 2013)

jonibee said:


> I think you meant "cheap" not mean..and it certainly would be met with " It's for me to know and you to find out"..you don't owe any explanation unless it would clarify that rude remark.


Two countries divided by a common language. Since both of you are "in hiding" it is hard to tell, but I'm guessing one is British and one is American. When we lived in Britain, I constantly found that what I meant didn't match what I said. You should have seen my face when a lady told me my house was 'homely' -- not meaning ugly, but 'homey.'


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## Glenlady (Mar 25, 2013)

sutclifd said:


> Two countries divided by a common language. Since both of you are "in hiding" it is hard to tell, but I'm guessing one is British and one is American. When we lived in Britain, I constantly found that what I meant didn't match what I said. You should have seen my face when a lady told me my house was 'homely' -- not meaning ugly, but 'homey.'


I live in the UK, and I understand what you are saying, words have such different meanings depending which side of the pond we live :thumbup:


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## beejay (May 27, 2011)

I think I would have told her I enjoy the sense of accomplishment.


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## Lostie (May 2, 2013)

Glenlady said:


> I live in the UK, and I understand what you are saying, words have such different meanings depending which side of the pond we live :thumbup:


True :thumbup: As to someone asking you if you are too "mean/cheap" etc to buy something you made which is an orginal, limited-to-one edition only, well, I can only say the the questioner is unspeakably vulgar. So there!


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## silvercharms (Mar 29, 2011)

How very rude she was! And at times like that you are so astounded you can't think of a reply. 
Since she is so crass, there's little you can say anyway to make an impact on her. She must have an empty life indeed not to know that value isn't always monetary, and the pleasure of creativity is priceless.


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## gcole (May 7, 2011)

"Jonibee: Mean" is OK, different parts of the world we say things our way.


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## Geebart (Jun 2, 2014)

I would say "I beg your pardon?" And with a raised eyebrow.


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## Novasea (Nov 10, 2012)

Here in Canada we would say "too mean to buy one" ...so understood completely


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## nonaka (Dec 9, 2012)

pamjlee said:


> Some friend. I think i would have said something like " obviously you have never felt the fulfillment of creating something yourself. "


I like pamjlee's classy reply. 'Nuf said.


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## Grand8ma (Feb 16, 2014)

"Do you know how much these sell for in the boutiques??!!"


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## linzers (May 17, 2012)

Geebart said:


> I would say "I beg your pardon?" And with a raised eyebrow.


This is what I was thinking. I would have said, "Excuse me?" ( The eye contact is very important here.)


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## Jean Large (Nov 29, 2013)

Geebart said:


> I would say "I beg your pardon?" And with a raised eyebrow.


Absolutely, the raised eyebrow makes a profound statement. :thumbup: :roll:


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## Glenlady (Mar 25, 2013)

Thank you for all your kind/ witty replies, she doesn't know what she's missing does she, I love it anyway and as one of you ladies said, she won't see another like it will she


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## knittingcanuk (Nov 12, 2012)

silvercharms said:


> How very rude she was! And at times like that you are so astounded you can't think of a reply.
> Since she is so crass, there's little you can say anyway to make an impact on her. She must have an empty life indeed not to know that value isn't always monetary, and the pleasure of creativity is priceless.


You nailed it! Someone forgot to teach this one manners.


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## anneevamod (Apr 16, 2011)

She isn't very kind, that's for sure. Maybe she is jealous? Yours is one-of-a-kind!!!!!! Why do we all need to look the same?


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## Ellemck (Mar 7, 2011)

I'd say, "You bet."


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## Jennyw (Apr 9, 2014)

Maybe she really wanted one as well, offer to make her one.


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## Raybo (Mar 12, 2011)

Glenlady said:


> to someone when they looked at a little knitted purse you had made, and asked'' are you too mean to buy one '' I wanted something to just pick up in between other stuff I'm knitting.   :mrgreen: :XD:


"Oh, I'm so sorry if you can't afford one" :XD:


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## Glenlady (Mar 25, 2013)

Jennyw said:


> Maybe she really wanted one as well, offer to make her one.


LOL-- I wouldn't waste my time doing one for her, but even if I did, it would cost her :XD:


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## Glenlady (Mar 25, 2013)

Actually, after reading all your kind comments, I have started another to gift to another friend who will appreciate it, so there   lol


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## Casey47 (Feb 5, 2014)

You should have told her you have more money than she has manners. What she said is so totally rude. Most people who do not knit or crochet at least appreciate the talent of others. But there are always those who don't have a clue.


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## sherrit (Jul 20, 2014)

Geebart said:


> I would say "I beg your pardon?" And with a raised eyebrow.


Good reply.


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## jbandsma (Mar 6, 2011)

Glenlady said:


> Thank you for all your kind/ witty replies, she doesn't know what she's missing does she, I love it anyway and as one of you ladies said, she won't see another like it will she


That YOU love it is the only thing that counts.


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## Novasea (Nov 10, 2012)

As often happens, the person who has been rude or hurtful seems to be getting a lot of attention and using up a lot of our energy....what should be said...what would you do...etc etc. There will always be folks who do not think before they speak...who do not appreciate the work or gifts of others...who do not see the joy or value others take or put on their finished projects. I feel we should not let them take away our joy or energy. We should not give them our attention. Instead we should just reap the joy we got from creating our projects...big or small. We should give our attention and energy to what we love doing. 

I would have smiled...picked up my lovely change purse...and calmly walked away. Never giving the whole incident another thought.


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## Clancy P (Feb 26, 2014)

Glenlady said:


> to someone when they looked at a little knitted purse you had made, and asked'' are you too mean to buy one '' I wanted something to just pick up in between other stuff I'm knitting.
> It's just garter stitch, using up some of my stash, I lined it, added some beads and other bits of embellishment,I thought it would be handy to put cell phone, wallet, and lipstick in when I go visiting, or somewhere I don't need my handbag, she neither knits or crochets so obviously doesn't know the feeling we achieve when we make something.
> By the way I am not mean, I saved a lot of ££££'s up and treated myself to a'' Modalu'' bag, the kind Pippa Middleton has, but I didn't show it to her
> :mrgreen: :XD:


For those that don't speak British, "mean" = cheap.


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## Clancy P (Feb 26, 2014)

I think I would have laughed right in her face!!!
Obviously, she doesn't craft or she would know how much cheaper it would have been to buy one made in a sweatshop in China instead of using good yarn, buying lining and clasp fittings, not to mention the time that went into it. 
Somehow, I don't think she would be on my Christmas list.


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## laceluvr (Feb 16, 2012)

Glenlady said:


> Thank you for all your kind/ witty replies, she doesn't know what she's missing does she, I love it anyway and as one of you ladies said, she won't see another like it will she


She's probably just jealous because she can't knit one of her own! I would have replied that you wanted a 'one of a kind' purse and not just what everyone else has or can buy.


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## Wendy2Pederson (Dec 7, 2012)

I experienced the same thing from a lady i know, not a friend, i was working on a project and she inquire d on what i was making. I told her it was a shawl. She proceded to say, shawls are ugly! Who would want one of those? To which I replied with eybrows raised and looking her squarely in the eye, I do, and I don't think that they are ugly! She didn't know how to reply to that.


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## bevqual (May 9, 2011)

I would say "I love making purses!" and left her wondering.


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## knitster475 (Apr 30, 2014)

I think I would have said "Bless your little heart, you don't have a clue do you". Then walk away leaving her completely baffled. For those who aren't familiar with Southern expressions, the emphasis is on "little". To make such a rude remark, she indeed has a very tiny heart. Or, like my dad always used to say "The only taste you have is in your mouth".


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## PhoenixFire (Feb 26, 2014)

Glenlady said:


> Actually, after reading all your kind comments, I have started another to gift to another friend who will appreciate it, so there   lol


*Ha!!!!!

THAT* is the spirit.

life is too short to spend time with people who don't appreciate us.

big hug from texas


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## Glenlady (Mar 25, 2013)

PhoenixFire said:


> *Ha!!!!!
> 
> THAT* is the spirit.
> 
> ...


Luv ya, thanks, big hugs right back at you xx


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## ushag (Dec 20, 2011)

I would have said "No, I'm talented enough to make one"  At least your lovely hand crafted bag wasn't made in a sweatshop!


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## mikebkk (Oct 6, 2012)

I think you should take it head on and say that it was a really unkind thing to say and that you particularly enjoy making your accessories by hand.


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## Linuxgirl (May 25, 2013)

Some people sure are weird and have no manners to boot. I really don't know what I would have said. Probably something really scathing or nothing at all.

Might we see a pic of your lovely little purse?


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## scottishlass (Jul 12, 2012)

Someone that ignorant obvilously puts money above creativity
and is not worth a second thought.I hope she does not someday end up with very little money as she will have no idea how to create a beautiful bag for very few $$$$( and No$$ to Buy One_
KARMA is a hard taskmaster .....................I hope then dear Glenlady you are around to see it>


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## pengwensgranny (Aug 3, 2011)

I recently bought a new mobile phone and the assistant told me that they had some lovely 'knitted sock type' cases for them.

I wasn't about to pay £5 for one. Went home, used some left over yarn and knitted one in less than 45 mins. Killed two birds with one stone there - saved £5 and used up a very small amount of stash. Very satisfying. I also have an original.


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## Lndyf9 (Jul 6, 2013)

I know just how you feel, it's awful when someone belittles your work it's just sheer ignorance. I made a crochet bottle holder for my water bottle to take to the gym, I put a little pocket on the side for my membership card, I was really pleased with it and took it to work to show a colleague thinking as she also goes to the gym she might like one and I will make one for her too. When she saw it she just burst out laughing and said 'oh my God! that's a right old grannies bag...I don't mean to be awful but!...' 

I felt quite hurt by her comment and just tried to make light of it by saying 'you cheeky thing, this is perfect for what I made it for, I certainly won't be making you one now no matter how much you beg!'

I have learnt just to make things for people who know how to appreciate a hand made gift.


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## Elaine3975 (Feb 9, 2014)

I would have said "I love being a fashion designer and having an original....that I feel great about having created.


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## czechmate (Jun 17, 2011)

oh you are so right on !!!


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## Hannelore (Oct 26, 2011)

I think I might have told her that it actually is a unique purse and she probably couldn't get one at any cost.


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## hildy3 (Jan 29, 2011)

Glenlady said:


> I live in the UK, and I understand what you are saying, words have such different meanings depending which side of the pond we live :thumbup:


You ladies are so right. That is why I like this...

I KNOW THAT YOU BELIEVE YOU UNDERSTAND 
WHAT I SAID, BUT I AM SURE YOU REALIZE THAT
WHAT YOU HEARD IS NOT WHAT I MEANT.


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## God's Girl (Jan 29, 2013)

I think I would simply smile and say it is all the rage haven't you heard? It's an original very exclusive.


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## dev7316 (Sep 2, 2011)

Tell her it is a designer bag, one of a kind


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## roseknit (Apr 2, 2011)

Ignore her, she is just plain ignorant


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## Kooka (Sep 1, 2011)

I think perhaps her jealousy was being exposed in her statement.


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## flohel (Jan 24, 2011)

When I first came to the US I innocently asked someone to knock me up. ( Wake me up) Caused so much hilarity. I was the source of amusement for quite some time until I learned how some sayings had a completely different meaning.


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## scottishlass (Jul 12, 2012)

.


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## maur1011 (Jul 25, 2011)

Flohel wrote:


> When I first came to the US I innocently asked someone to knock me up. ( Wake me up) Caused so much hilarity. I was the source of amusement for quite some time until I learned how some sayings had a completely different meaning.


So funny. I worked for a British company for 9 years. I never will again ask anyone if they want a ride. It's "do you want a lift". Nearly gave someone a heart attack with the other statement. :lol:


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## Junelouise (Apr 29, 2011)

Clancy P said:


> For those that don't speak British, "mean" = cheap.


I am Canadian and yes I took it as meaning "too cheap to buy one"
What a nerve she had!

June


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## emmas mom (May 15, 2013)

silvercharms said:


> How very rude she was! And at times like that you are so astounded you can't think of a reply.
> Since she is so crass, there's little you can say anyway to make an impact on her. She must have an empty life indeed not to know that value isn't always monetary, and the pleasure of creativity is priceless.


I'd tell her in a nice way "What an unkind thing to say". I tried this one time on someone who commented on something I was wearing. She immediatly apologized.


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## 1953knitter (Mar 30, 2011)

I would have said "No, I"m not too cheap to buy one - I'm talented enough to make one."


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## Coral McRae (Jul 23, 2013)

I'd say "Well, that wasn't rude, was it?"

My tolerance for judgemental people is at an all time low. That was just plain mean of her.


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## Jayceebee (Apr 6, 2013)

She accused you of being mean in the British sense. I accuse her of being mean in the American sense!


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## Gweneth 1946 (May 20, 2012)

There are some people who do not think before they talk, And others who cannot carry a conversation unless it is about them. Like there are some famous people who are great in the characters they play but cannot converse in an intelligent manner.


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## sinead (Apr 23, 2012)

Right! Ebenezer Scrooge was "mean" not "cheap" - Dickens was, of course, English.


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## bonbarnie (Jan 23, 2011)

I would not have said anything. I would have raised one eyebrow give a nasty smile turned around and find someone else to convince with.


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## susanrs1 (Mar 21, 2011)

Wow, people are really unbelievable. I also think she meant cheap not mean. Either way, you could have said 'no, I'm too TALENTED to purchase something retail when I can make it'. What an idiot she is.


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## LEE1313 (Jan 25, 2011)

I think my answer would have been, " At least I am creative enough to make a designer bag " !!
"What can you do?" And walk away with a smile !
Enjoy the bag.


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## Woodsywife (Mar 9, 2014)

My reply would be. "Isn't it exquisite, it's an antique or heirloom worth $$$$$$ and I got a real bargain on it".


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## gpatters71 (Aug 7, 2014)

"There's always one."


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## RebeccaVM (Aug 14, 2012)

I would have said, "that was harsh! Are you having a bad day?" and smiled with loving concern...till she felt really bad.


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## Bebekka (Jun 4, 2011)

I think it's lovely you made this for yourself. So many times people fall for the corporate ramming down our throats. I, for one, try to avoid wearing or using anything with a corporation's name on it, designer or not, because in the USA, they have "free speech rights" and when the corporation commits a crime, no one goes to jail -- i.e., the PG&E fire in San Bruno, CA that killed a few people and destroyed over 10 homes, let alone what BP did in the Gulf with the oil spill, etc., -- but I digress. 

This is free advertising for a corporation, when you wear their logos, so that they make more money and most people are losing what they worked very hard for, and when the corporation commits a crime or wrongdoing, they pay a fine and get to write it off.


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## NellieKnitter (Sep 10, 2012)

Clancy P said:


> For those that don't speak British, "mean" = cheap.


I am American and sorry to say, I know too many people who fit the description of mean and cheap or cheap and mean, no matter which side of the pond they live on.


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## .79315 (Dec 5, 2012)

One thing I have learned in life is you cannot scare stupid and you cannot insult ignorant. Another thing I have learned is to let it go. Don't let someone else's problem become your problem. He who angers you, controls you.


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## azmoonbugs (Dec 2, 2011)

jonibee said:


> I think you meant "cheap" not mean..and it certainly would be met with " It's for me to know and you to find out"..you don't owe any explanation unless it would clarify that rude remark.


mean is another word for cheap on the other side of the pond.


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## azmoonbugs (Dec 2, 2011)

jonibee said:


> I think you meant "cheap" not mean..and it certainly would be met with " It's for me to know and you to find out"..you don't owe any explanation unless it would clarify that rude remark.


mean is another word for cheap on the other side of the pond.


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## azmoonbugs (Dec 2, 2011)

RebeccaVM said:


> I would have said, "that was harsh! Are you having a bad day?" and smiled with loving concern...till she felt really bad.


 :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## azmoonbugs (Dec 2, 2011)

Glenlady said:


> to someone when they looked at a little knitted purse you had made, and asked'' are you too mean to buy one '' I wanted something to just pick up in between other stuff I'm knitting.
> :mrgreen: :XD:


some people are just not happy unless they hurt others. I would have countered with "Did you really intend to hurt my feelings or was that just by accident?"


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## sdftrace (Jan 10, 2013)

Thank you everyone for all your wise and witty responses because I'm never quick enough to respond when faced with similar situations - I always think of the reply when it's way too late! 
Now I have some answers. thank you.


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## mh1953 (Aug 14, 2014)

"If you will forgive me not answering you, I will forgive you for asking."


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## Woefkins (Dec 14, 2012)

Now dear Glenlady, after we have all dealt with the ignorant one (sheesh, is there a cure for that!?!), I have request, and I see no one else asked THE question.
I am so curious, hope you don't think I'm nosey, but could we see a piccie of the little purse? 
Then lots of us can copy it and say "Oh, this is a Glenlady original, wouldn't you know, and it is priceless"
Hugs,
Hannet


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## Limey287 (Nov 6, 2011)

Have to agree with Kammyv4's response - then offer to make her one for an outrageous price. I am married to an Englishman and realize there are some differences in meanings but "rude is rude" in any language.


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## Ronie (Jan 21, 2011)

I would of just said.. "why buy one when I can make it!!" There are so many people who can't create or do things with their hands.. for those of us who can it seems simple and easy .. we are the lucky ones. 

Or "why spend money on something I can easily make for myself?"


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## TapestryArtist (Sep 4, 2013)

You know what? That was nasty of her. I would have replied with something like this: "You're such a b-t-h!" That person is not a friend. Look out for her.


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## Teatime4granny (Apr 4, 2011)

Yep some people have no couth. I use my crochet purses all the time. Yes I'm cheap, LOL. we were on vacation one time, my purse handle broke, so I sat aside and made myself a beautifule purse, Red, White, & Blue. (yes it was July).
Any way that was years ago, and I still have that purse. I lined it with an oldtime material. The guy at the Motel was in awe of it. My middle DD has learned to crochet a few years ago, and I get crocheted purses every year from her. And one year she made me a beautiful bag, with a small handle and a pull tie, Just for my yarn, for when I went to the hospital with a friend. 
Every year now for several years, we have a tridition at christmas, NO BOUGHT GIFTS! we make all our gifts(well GMA & GPA do buy a few little gifts), BUt it is so much fun to see what everyone has come up with.
I could not have bought the sweaters I made, and the look on their face is so wonderful when they really appreciate what you have made. As for that lady, She surely does not understan what thought and love has gone into everything we made.


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## jmf6406 (Dec 13, 2012)

What a snarky thing to say. I wonder what possessed her to come out with THAT?


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## Leland Sandy (Aug 24, 2011)

My dear mother had a great reply for such a stupid/thoughtless question - "Did you have a patTICular reason for wanting to know?!!?" This was accompanied by a pointed glance from her piercing green eyes. Very effective and satisfying.


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## tmvasquez (May 7, 2013)

Awe the ignorance some people show when they open their mouths. I would have just smiled sweetly and said nothing.


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## Kansas g-ma (Mar 7, 2014)

Glenlady said:


> I live in the UK, and I understand what you are saying, words have such different meanings depending which side of the pond we live :thumbup:


And if you read mysteries written in the UK you might have paused a second, then thought, "Oh, cheap" and gone on. Reading really does help understand what might get written here. Imagine trying to negotiate something world-shattering with our language problems!


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## sockyarn (Jan 26, 2011)

My reply would have been, " Oh I wanted something better then an old store bought one. Any one can have one of those."


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## Laniebp (May 30, 2014)

JEALOUSY! I have found out that when someone makes a statement like that, that they are just plain jealous. I have encountered that a few times myself.


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## Clancy P (Feb 26, 2014)

hildy3 said:


> You ladies are so right. That is why I like this...
> 
> I KNOW THAT YOU BELIEVE YOU UNDERSTAND
> WHAT I SAID, BUT I AM SURE YOU REALIZE THAT
> WHAT YOU HEARD IS NOT WHAT I MEANT.


Thanks, I haven't heard this for a while and I've always liked it.


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## sockyarn (Jan 26, 2011)

The word mean is correct.


jonibee said:


> I think you meant "cheap" not mean..and it certainly would be met with " It's for me to know and you to find out"..you don't owe any explanation unless it would clarify that rude remark.


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## sockyarn (Jan 26, 2011)

I do think she said exactly what she meant. I would not be so argent as to question what she means.


susanrs1 said:


> Wow, people are really unbelievable. I also think she meant cheap not mean. Either way, you could have said 'no, I'm too TALENTED to purchase something retail when I can make it'. What an idiot she is.


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## bizzyknitter (May 10, 2011)

I think I would have said..."It takes talent to make this."


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## judyr (Feb 20, 2011)

I would have offered to teach her how to knit so she could make a purse just like it. That usually throws a lot of people off - Oh, I don't have the patience to learn to knit - Oh, I just couldn't - and on and on. You get my drift. In other words, you are more talented than she will ever be and her snid remark was actually jealously on her part because she can't knit. Forget it and move on, you have more talent in your character than she will ever have. Consider the source and move on, I always say. (Next time, show her more of your creations and make her more envious!!!)


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## nancy787 (Jul 18, 2014)

My answer: No, too smart to waste a lot of money on things that needn't be expensive. And of course there is the joy of the creating for yourself. I'm sure it is a lovely bag.


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## 29426 (Jul 26, 2011)

pamjlee said:


> Some friend. I think i would have said something like " obviously you have never felt the fulfillment of creating something yourself. "


Geary retort, especially when sweetly said! Grrrrrrrr!


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## Nevada Nell (Jun 18, 2014)

LOL! I had a friend from London and she would say the funniest things...like "keep your pecker up" or "knock me up some time"

I finally figured out she meant Keep your spirits up and she meant stop by for a visit.


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## cattdages (Aug 3, 2011)

She was just being nasty for nasty's sake.


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## Phoebe's Mother (Aug 27, 2012)

Glenlady said:


> to someone when they looked at a little knitted purse you had made, and asked'' are you too mean to buy one ''
> 
> My "response" would be to turn to her and look squarely/fully (not "sideways") at her, with a completely blank expression on my face. . .for quite some seconds (they add up pretty quickly), so that she could make of it whatever she would, and would have to squirm a bit as to how to react to her OWN snarkiness.


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## Ermdog (Apr 24, 2014)

jonibee said:


> I think you meant "cheap" not mean..and it certainly would be met with " It's for me to know and you to find out"..you don't owe any explanation unless it would clarify that rude remark.


I have heard the word "mean" used in this context before. It is often used in the place of cheap or miserly. She used the word correctly.


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## henhouse2011 (Feb 20, 2011)

Geebart said:


> I would say "I beg your pardon?" And with a raised eyebrow.


 Love that answer. And I can get my eyebrow up pretty high. Might have to practice to perfect it.


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## Phoebe's Mother (Aug 27, 2012)

Coral McRae said:


> I'd say "Well, that wasn't rude, was it?"
> 
> My tolerance for judgemental people is at an all time low. That was just plain mean of her.


I'm with YOU! You go, Girl!


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## 5Pat (Aug 29, 2011)

When I was growing up all my clothes were made either by myself or my mother. Store brought clothes were purchased but not in a large amount.

My sister said she loves our clothes because we would never see anyone else wearing the same items.

Your friend just could be jealous of your work. I love the idea that you used your scarps to make something you could use.

English has always been difficult for me.


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## tatesgirl (Mar 27, 2011)

I'm learning that some words mean different things to different people and 'mean' is one of them. That particular word has caused a lot of heartache to both me and my daughter because when an eavesdropping in-law totally misinterpreted a private conversation and related her own opinion of my long-deceased husand to a wannabe in-law who has persistently demanded explanations of his personality that are none of her business. Ironically, he was deceased long before these women ever knew either my daughter or myself so HE is totally non-revelant to today and certainly non-relevant to either the troublemaking in-law or her wannabe friend.

Every time she accosts me, I leave the room and I refuse to speak to her. Maybe I'll change my mind after reading all these posts. I think I've got to 'straighten her out,' but HOW? I don't know what to say.


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## sdftrace (Jan 10, 2013)

Woefkins said:


> Now dear Glenlady, after we have all dealt with the ignorant one (sheesh, is there a cure for that!?!), I have request, and I see no one else asked THE question.
> I am so curious, hope you don't think I'm nosey, but could we see a piccie of the little purse?
> Then lots of us can copy it and say "Oh, this is a Glenlady original, wouldn't you know, and it is priceless"
> Hugs,
> Hannet


Brilliant idea!!!


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## dagmargrubaugh (May 10, 2011)

DorisAnn said:


> One thing I have learned in life is you cannot scare stupid and you cannot insult ignorant. Another thing I have learned is to let it go. Don't let someone else's problem become your problem. He who angers you, controls you.


Wow! Awesome, DorisAnn.
That applies to a lot of things in life.
Thanks,


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## rosemarya (May 25, 2013)

It was very courageous of you to keep your thoughts to yourself! You have dignity. She has lost a talented friend.


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## Karenno1 (Mar 17, 2014)

I'd have said not mean thrifty ,in fact I'm buying a designer bag with my savings I believe Kate Middleton has one ........cup of tea .....


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## Glenlady (Mar 25, 2013)

Karenno1 said:


> I'd have said not mean thrifty ,in fact I'm buying a designer bag with my savings I believe Kate Middleton has one ........cup of tea .....


LOL we can always think of something to say after the event can't we :thumbup:


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## gina (Jan 18, 2011)

jonibee said:


> I think you meant "cheap" not mean..and it certainly would be met with " It's for me to know and you to find out"..you don't owe any explanation unless it would clarify that rude remark.


No, she meant exactly what she said. My Irish side of the family always uses mean in that context.


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## misellen (Mar 8, 2013)

Geebart said:


> I would say "I beg your pardon?" And with a raised eyebrow.


I would have added the question, "were you tought rudeness? or did it come naturally?"


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## gina (Jan 18, 2011)

I like Phoebe Buffet's baffled response. "I don't know how to talk to you." Smile and walk away.


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## jaml (Feb 4, 2011)

Some people don't appreciate hand made things because they don't know how much love goes into them. Pay no attention. Love your cat. I have one that looks just like it.


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## misellen (Mar 8, 2013)

knitster475 said:


> I think I would have said "Bless your little heart, you don't have a clue do you". Then walk away leaving her completely baffled. For those who aren't familiar with Southern expressions, the emphasis is on "little". To make such a rude remark, she indeed has a very tiny heart. Or, like my dad always used to say "The only taste you have is in your mouth".


 :thumbup: :thumbup: Great response!!


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## Jepjohn (Nov 27, 2011)

I would have said something like"No, quite the opposite. This is a designer bag and it cost quite dearly." And it did when you consider the time and thought that was put into the creation of it.


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## yotbum (Sep 8, 2011)

I would have just said, "Yup". Would never waste a brilliant retort on an idiot.


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## Karenno1 (Mar 17, 2014)

Don't you wish at times I should have said ,,oh why didn't I say , either way you'll know for next time when someone calls you for your talent,.... sarcastic with a smile


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## yarndriver (Aug 24, 2014)

I love the way words are used differently even here in the states where meanings may vary in different regions. Aside from that, when knitting socks in public, my favorite comment is "you know Walmart sells socks", to which I reply with a surprised look on my face, " Walmart sells hand knit socks?" And then I walk away. Such folks don't merit any more time.


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## Mercygirl76 (Dec 30, 2012)

Jean Large said:


> Absolutely, the raised eyebrow makes a profound statement. :thumbup: :roll:


Absolutely!


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## g-mom (Mar 1, 2011)

I am betting that your original creation is as precious as your Modalu is expensive. Your answer of nothing was the best possible reaction. Why should any one respond to rude?
(Then you might want to flaunt your Modula the next time you encounter her.)


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## mmorris (Sep 5, 2013)

Good answer! But--wouldn't knit her anything else;


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## kari.gla (Sep 12, 2014)

Daisybel said:


> Perfect reply! Then charge her LOTS if she asked you to make one for her.


An absolutely perfect reply!


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## Cardelo (Jul 14, 2014)

franci6810 said:


> :thumbup: :thumbup:


 :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## morningstar (Mar 24, 2012)

Glenlady said:


> to someone when they looked at a little knitted purse you had made, and asked'' are you too mean to buy one '' I wanted something to just pick up in between other stuff I'm knitting.
> It's just garter stitch, using up some of my stash, I lined it, added some beads and other bits of embellishment,I thought it would be handy to put cell phone, wallet, and lipstick in when I go visiting, or somewhere I don't need my handbag, she neither knits or crochets so obviously doesn't know the feeling we achieve when we make something.
> By the way I am not mean, I saved a lot of ££££'s up and treated myself to a'' Modalu'' bag, the kind Pippa Middleton has, but I didn't show it to her
> :mrgreen: :XD:


Glenlady, Ignore any and all folks who make rude and hurtful remarks. Not worth your time or energy. Your little bag sounds lovely.


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## Gundi2 (May 25, 2012)

she was mean.i would say" why buy one when i can do it myself?"
'


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## stitchntime (Apr 27, 2013)

...well, that was hella rude!
Would have been my reply. Maybe: ...how do you really feel? would have been just as good. Some (not so) friend.


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## Elder Ellen (Mar 9, 2013)

Geebart said:


> I would say "I beg your pardon?" And with a raised eyebrow.


Good reply!


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## Grandma Jo (Feb 18, 2011)

a long time ago when I was a teenager, my mom and dad has guests stay the night. They were from England. I had been out until kind of late at night the day they came. The next morning the lady said, I hope you are arrested meaning that I might be tired from being out so late and still tired in the morning.

With your purse, you could have said, Well I did pay for the yarn to make it.


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## Salsa (Feb 19, 2014)

Well I might have said "I love to knit and create" or I might have said "to bad you are so unskilled" or since I do live in Texas and am old and sometimes feel like I got up on the wrong side of the bed I might have said " Screw you and the horse you rode up on "


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## Pcanton (Sep 12, 2014)

I would say that she was clearly too "mean" to buy a book on etiquette, and by the way . . . Her shoes are ugly. (By far the worst slam a woman can get!)


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## pavasa (Feb 24, 2011)

sutclifd said:


> Two countries divided by a common language. Since both of you are "in hiding" it is hard to tell, but I'm guessing one is British and one is American. When we lived in Britain, I constantly found that what I meant didn't match what I said. You should have seen my face when a lady told me my house was 'homely' -- not meaning ugly, but 'homey.'


Interesting to read this. My mother had immigrated to the states from Scotland, and had experienced more than a facial expression when she had used the word, " homely". Poor thing didn't know it was not a compliment, here.


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## pavasa (Feb 24, 2011)

Salsa said:


> Well I might have said "I love to knit and create" or I might have said "to bad you are so unskilled" or since I do live in Texas and am old and sometimes feel like I got up on the wrong side of the bed I might have said " Screw you and the horse you rode up on "


LOL!!!


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## Glenlady (Mar 25, 2013)

g-mom said:


> I am betting that your original creation is as precious as your Modalu is expensive. Your answer of nothing was the best possible reaction. Why should any one respond to rude?
> (Then you might want to flaunt your Modula the next time you encounter her.)


Do you know g-mom, I might just do that, she catches the same bus as I do when we go to market, and I can 'flaunt' my Modalu and-- lol-- that's big enough to slip my little purse inside, so she'll get two for the price of one and be even more envious :mrgreen:  :lol:


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## cathy47 (Jun 6, 2011)

Well...I won't support China by buying ready made if I can make it I will do so. And you know what you bet I am cheap and proud of it. At least I accomplished something and then I'd ask what she has accomplished today. Who really needs snobs like this?


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## Glenlady (Mar 25, 2013)

scottishlass said:


> .


Thank you lassy :thumbup:


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## Jacquie (Feb 6, 2011)

"I have more money than you have manners"

I like that! How rude can you be??


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## Glenlady (Mar 25, 2013)

jaml said:


> Some people don't appreciate hand made things because they don't know how much love goes into them. Pay no attention. Love your cat. I have one that looks just like it.


Our cats are so alike,difference being, yours has a tiny white 'smudge 'on his/her nose, both beautiful cats :thumbup:


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## SAMkewel (Mar 5, 2011)

Glenlady said:


> to someone when they looked at a little knitted purse you had made, and asked'' are you too mean to buy one '' I wanted something to just pick up in between other stuff I'm knitting.
> It's just garter stitch, using up some of my stash, I lined it, added some beads and other bits of embellishment,I thought it would be handy to put cell phone, wallet, and lipstick in when I go visiting, or somewhere I don't need my handbag, she neither knits or crochets so obviously doesn't know the feeling we achieve when we make something.
> By the way I am not mean, I saved a lot of ££££'s up and treated myself to a'' Modalu'' bag, the kind Pippa Middleton has, but I didn't show it to her
> :mrgreen: :XD:


I would have said, "The only thing mean here is your question."


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## Justine (Feb 25, 2011)

Besides being very rude, usually it costs more to make something than buying it anyway.


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## Novasea (Nov 10, 2012)

DorisAnn said:


> One thing I have learned in life is you cannot scare stupid and you cannot insult ignorant. Another thing I have learned is to let it go. Don't let someone else's problem become your problem. He who angers you, controls you.


 :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## Ask4j (May 21, 2011)

I take it "mean" would be short on cash? 

What a mean person (as in really bad). Non-crafts people--avoid them and just ignore their ignorant remarks.

Not my words but found this on a friends FB page:


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## Ask4j (May 21, 2011)

Modalu--checked this out, knew it was a fine bag and British but these are very nice indeed! Something the Queen would carry I am guessing. Flaunt it! :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## Ask4j (May 21, 2011)

tatesgirl said:


> I'm learning that some words mean different things to different people and 'mean' is one of them. That particular word has caused a lot of heartache to both me and my daughter because when an eavesdropping in-law totally misinterpreted a private conversation and related her own opinion of my long-deceased husand to a wannabe in-law who has persistently demanded explanations of his personality that are none of her business. Ironically, he was deceased long before these women ever knew either my daughter or myself so HE is totally non-revelant to today and certainly non-relevant to either the troublemaking in-law or her wannabe friend.
> 
> Every time she accosts me, I leave the room and I refuse to speak to her. Maybe I'll change my mind after reading all these posts. I think I've got to 'straighten her out,' but HOW? I don't know what to say.


ouch! we do have people like this in life. For a start, as someone here suggested, just look at her feet and say with a scowl "you have ugly shoes".


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## conig (Jun 15, 2011)

Jean Large said:


> Absolutely, the raised eyebrow makes a profound statement. :thumbup: :roll:


I wouldn't have to say anything as my nonverbal response would speak for me. 
OR my d-i-l would say [with a tone that makes it final], "That appears to be a personal problem."


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## joannem602 (Feb 7, 2011)

"Just because it was handmade doesn't mean it was cheap." Have you priced yarn lately?


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## yarndriver (Aug 24, 2014)

Wow! This thread just hit a nerve with a lot of us. Vent to your heart's content, but it won't change the mindset a lot of folks have regarding homemade items. PS, my mom made all my clothes including dress coats, evening gowns and wedding dress. I didn't have a ready-mades garment until I was out of college. We learned early on to not mention the fact she made my clothes to avoid rude, insensitive comments.


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## j-krau1 (Apr 7, 2011)

Glenlady said:


> to someone when they looked at a little knitted purse you had made, and asked'' are you too mean to buy one '' I wanted something to just pick up in between other stuff I'm knitting.
> It's just garter stitch, using up some of my stash, I lined it, added some beads and other bits of embellishment,I thought it would be handy to put cell phone, wallet, and lipstick in when I go visiting, or somewhere I don't need my handbag, she neither knits or crochets so obviously doesn't know the feeling we achieve when we make something.
> 
> This is a designer original and it's priceless!
> ...


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## chooksnpinkroses (Aug 23, 2012)

Non-knitters just don't understand that we love to knit things! I was knitting behind the counter at the op shop I volunteer at, one time. A woman saw me knitting and asked me about it and when I replied that I was knitting a dishcloth, her reply was 'What a waste of time!" I was taken aback by her comment and thought it quite rude. I told her that we (the op shop) sold lots of them and people ask for more. (all true). I find the dishcloths are the least amount of time and materials for the most $ amount. [When at 'work' (op shop), I only ever knit things for the op shop to sell, they get the money, not me.]   

Likewise, around 20 years ago when I was knitting socks at work in my break, some people would tell me I was 'Mad to knit them when you can buy them!". I always said the same thing. 'My handmade socks fit me perfectly and always have smooth comfortable toes, bought socks don't and they often have a horrible seam across the toes.' All true, those are the reasons I started knitting my own socks many years ago!!!!


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## eneurian (May 4, 2011)

sutclifd said:


> Two countries divided by a common language. Since both of you are "in hiding" it is hard to tell, but I'm guessing one is British and one is American. When we lived in Britain, I constantly found that what I meant didn't match what I said. You should have seen my face when a lady told me my house was 'homely' -- not meaning ugly, but 'homey.'


it doesn't matter whether she said mean or cheap, both are derogatory, rude and obnoxious. I would have explained that I at least have manners and that if you can't say something nice don't say anything at all. the nasty person obviously has to hurt others to make herself feel better.


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## Clancy P (Feb 26, 2014)

Salsa said:


> Well I might have said "I love to knit and create" or I might have said "to bad you are so unskilled" or since I do live in Texas and am old and sometimes feel like I got up on the wrong side of the bed I might have said " Screw you and the horse you rode up on "


 :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:
Or, as my husband will ask when he hears a snarky comment: "Who whizzed on your Wheaties?"


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## quiltwiz (Dec 17, 2011)

You do NOT owe her an explanation..Just a smirk and a raised eyebrow.


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## goodweh (Dec 4, 2011)

I would have said of course not, Just smart enough to make one!


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## azmoonbugs (Dec 2, 2011)

Clancy P said:


> : "Who whizzed on your Wheaties?"


My newest favorite quote.


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## Dangrktty (Feb 22, 2013)

Glenlady said:


> to someone when they looked at a little knitted purse you had made, and asked'' are you too mean to buy one '' I wanted something to just pick up in between other stuff I'm knitting.
> It's just garter stitch, using up some of my stash, I lined it, added some beads and other bits of embellishment,I thought it would be handy to put cell phone, wallet, and lipstick in when I go visiting, or somewhere I don't need my handbag, she neither knits or crochets so obviously doesn't know the feeling we achieve when we make something.
> By the way I am not mean, I saved a lot of ££££'s up and treated myself to a'' Modalu'' bag, the kind Pippa Middleton has, but I didn't show it to her
> :mrgreen: :XD:


Is 'mean' a synonym for penniless, not wealthy, low income ?


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## grannybell (Mar 12, 2013)

I think the poor dear was a bit jealous. Just ignore her comment and pity her small-mindedness.


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## cathy47 (Jun 6, 2011)

.


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## suzybcool (Sep 30, 2012)

Glenlady said:


> to someone when they looked at a little knitted purse you had made, and asked'' are you too mean to buy one '' I wanted something to just pick up in between other stuff I'm knitting.
> It's just garter stitch, using up some of my stash, I lined it, added some beads and other bits of embellishment,I thought it would be handy to put cell phone, wallet, and lipstick in when I go visiting, or somewhere I don't need my handbag, she neither knits or crochets so obviously doesn't know the feeling we achieve when we make something.
> By the way I am not mean, I saved a lot of ££££'s up and treated myself to a'' Modalu'' bag, the kind Pippa Middleton has, but I didn't show it to her
> :mrgreen: :XD:


My reply would be "Why would you think that? I enjoyed bringing the idea to reality. How do you express your creativity?"


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## yarndriver (Aug 24, 2014)

All of this puts me in a funky state of mind and then I remember the lady watching me knit one day. She questioned me extensively about the charity project I was knitting: where did I buy the yarn, how much did it cost, how long would it take to finish. And on and on. Finally, she handed me some cash saying she couldn't knit but she wanted to contribute to the project. I protested but she insisted so I enjoyed that warm fuzzy feeling and bring it out when someone says something unkind. Anyone else have a story?


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## CarolBest (Sep 14, 2011)

My reply would have been, "No, but you are mean for mentioning it." :evil:


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## Clancy P (Feb 26, 2014)

yarndriver said:


> All of this puts me in a funky state of mind and then I remember the lady watching me knit one day. She questioned me extensively about the charity project I was knitting: where did I buy the yarn, how much did it cost, how long would it take to finish. And on and on. Finally, she handed me some cash saying she couldn't knit but she wanted to contribute to the project. I protested but she insisted so I enjoyed that warm fuzzy feeling and bring it out when someone says something unkind. Anyone else have a story?


That's a special, heartwarming story. I'm sure it's a special memory for you.


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## busyworkerbee (May 6, 2012)

Mmmm, tell them that it is not meanness, but uniqueness that has you making your own. Also teens love these, I make several every year to go out through a youth service for Christmas and they are all appreciated.


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## busyworkerbee (May 6, 2012)

Dangrktty said:


> Is 'mean' a synonym for penniless, not wealthy, low income ?


Not from the sound of this, it sounds like the person doing the querying would rather buy an overpriced mass produced item than something unique


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## kiwi11 (Jul 27, 2011)

pamjlee said:


> Some friend. I think i would have said something like " obviously you have never felt the fulfillment of creating something yourself. "


Love love this reply >>>>right on!!


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## cherylthompson (Feb 18, 2013)

sutclifd said:


> Two countries divided by a common language. Since both of you are "in hiding" it is hard to tell, but I'm guessing one is British and one is American. When we lived in Britain, I constantly found that what I meant didn't match what I said. You should have seen my face when a lady told me my house was 'homely' -- not meaning ugly, but 'homey.'


 :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## Glenlady (Mar 25, 2013)

Clancy P said:


> :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:
> Or, as my husband will ask when he hears a snarky comment: "Who whizzed on your Wheaties?"


Clancy P , please tell your husband I love his reply to snarky, it made me giggle, must remember it :thumbup: x


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## kiwiannie (Jul 30, 2011)

My reply would be to tell her to mind her own business.


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## Glenlady (Mar 25, 2013)

kiwiannie said:


> My reply would be to tell her to mind her own business.


 :thumbup: :XD:


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## GemsByGranny (Dec 7, 2012)

Glenlady said:


> to someone when they looked at a little knitted purse you had made, and asked'' are you too mean to buy one '' I wanted something to just pick up in between other stuff I'm knitting.
> It's just garter stitch, using up some of my stash, I lined it, added some beads and other bits of embellishment,I thought it would be handy to put cell phone, wallet, and lipstick in when I go visiting, or somewhere I don't need my handbag, she neither knits or crochets so obviously doesn't know the feeling we achieve when we make something.
> By the way I am not mean, I saved a lot of ££££'s up and treated myself to a'' Modalu'' bag, the kind Pippa Middleton has, but I didn't show it to her
> :mrgreen: :XD:


'Not mean. Creative. And not rude'.


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## GemsByGranny (Dec 7, 2012)

Dangrktty said:


> Is 'mean' a synonym for penniless, not wealthy, low income ?


I always thought it meant unwilling to spend money on essentials.


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## ushag (Dec 20, 2011)

Grandma Jo said:


> a long time ago when I was a teenager, my mom and dad has guests stay the night. They were from England. I had been out until kind of late at night the day they came. The next morning the lady said, I hope you are arrested meaning that I might be tired from being out so late and still tired in the morning.
> 
> With your purse, you could have said, Well I did pay for the yarn to make it.


No, "arrested" is what the Police generally do. Boy, did it tax my remaining brain cell working out the best, most unambiguous way of putting that! They might have said "rested"?


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## Glenlady (Mar 25, 2013)

busyworkerbee said:


> Not from the sound of this, it sounds like the person doing the querying would rather buy an overpriced mass produced item than something unique


Excuse me sweetie, I am neither penniless, on low income and certainly not wealthy, but if I choose to save up some money to treat myself to a 'mass produced' luxury I think that is my business. My query was a tongue in cheek one, and didn't expect a snarky reply such as yours. I have to say though, I was amused at some of the kind replies, some I wished I had thought of at the time.I shall be careful what I post in future, have a nice day


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## Aisles (Feb 26, 2013)

Extremely rude of herto suggest you are too mean to spend your hard earned cash on a mass produced bag rather than a one off designer bag created and designed by a talented individual

Sorry this excuse for a 'friend' was so rude to you.

I've had the same thing happen to me once by a work mate but before I could open my mouth my boss replied for me with

"Your bag is amazing and you made it, how much do you charge? I'd like to order one for myself."

You should have seen the look on my work mate's face as she stormed off out of my office.


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## Glenlady (Mar 25, 2013)

Aisles said:


> Extremely rude of herto suggest you are too mean to spend your hard earned cash on a mass produced bag rather than a one off designer bag created and designed by a talented individual
> 
> Sorry this excuse for a 'friend' was so rude to you.
> 
> ...


 :thumbup:


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## SouthernGirl (Dec 28, 2011)

was she joking?


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## eneurian (May 4, 2011)

yarndriver said:


> All of this puts me in a funky state of mind and then I remember the lady watching me knit one day. She questioned me extensively about the charity project I was knitting: where did I buy the yarn, how much did it cost, how long would it take to finish. And on and on. Finally, she handed me some cash saying she couldn't knit but she wanted to contribute to the project. I protested but she insisted so I enjoyed that warm fuzzy feeling and bring it out when someone says something unkind. Anyone else have a story?


i was sitting in the auto service waiting room. started answering questions about my knitting and music (I was knitting a birds nest for wild care.) when my car was done I went to pay for it and it had already been paid. we were the only two people in the service area so it had to have been the man to whom I had been talking.


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## Glenlady (Mar 25, 2013)

eneurian said:


> i was sitting in the auto service waiting room. started answering questions about my knitting and music (I was knitting a birds nest for wild care.) when my car was done I went to pay for it and it had already been paid. we were the only two people in the service area so it had to have been the man to whom I had been talking.


That was kind of him, there are some really nice people :thumbup:


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## yarndriver (Aug 24, 2014)

Keep those happy stories coming. I love random acts of kindness.


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## stablemom (Oct 20, 2012)

wow,some people! I probably would have told her she was being extremely rude


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## Damama (Oct 2, 2011)

lindaspinney said:


> I would have said "No, I"m not too cheap to buy one - I'm talented enough to make one."


 :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## Clancy P (Feb 26, 2014)

Glenlady said:


> Clancy P , please tell your husband I love his reply to snarky, it made me giggle, must remember it :thumbup: x


The emphasis is on 'your' and it really tends to shut people up. And no naughty words :lol:


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## morningstar (Mar 24, 2012)

yarndriver said:


> Keep those happy stories coming. I love random acts of kindness.


Yes, please! There are many of those out there.


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## Ask4j (May 21, 2011)

pamjlee wrote:
Some friend. I think i would have said something like " obviously you have never felt the fulfillment of creating something yourself. "



kiwi11 said:


> Love love this reply >>>>right on!!


And I too, that's the most appropriate response from us crafters. ... and saying it with a smile says you know something they don't because that is what it's all about. Usually keeping silent and ignoring the comment means you internalize the meaning of the comment but when you spew it back without being nasty one is able to forgive and forget--or that's how I feel about it.


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## elbev (Aug 25, 2011)

ignore them as they are not worth bothering with!


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## LAURA C (Jan 21, 2013)

I think I would have looked at her said "Jealous you can't make one?' IMHO.someone like that doesn't deserve a response, but I know well how bad it makes you feel. My mother had only criticism for my knitting, no matter what I made she found fault with it. She found great pleasure in criticizing me in front of friends and family. I made her an entrelac jacket out of Noro Silk Garden. Two weeks after I gave it to her, she informed me it was a rag. It was the last thing I made for her. Why do people have to be so mean to each other?


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## stablemom (Oct 20, 2012)

--


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## Ask4j (May 21, 2011)

LAURA C said:


> I think I would have looked at her said "Jealous you can't make one?' IMHO.someone like that doesn't deserve a response, but I know well how bad it makes you feel. My mother had only criticism for my knitting, no matter what I made she found fault with it. She found great pleasure in criticizing me in front of friends and family. I made her an entrelac jacket out of Noro Silk Garden. Two weeks after I gave it to her, she informed me it was a rag. It was the last thing I made for her. Why do people have to be so mean to each other?


Oh Laura, how sad for you but, if at all possible, don't let it get to you--you made something special for your mother and those hearing her say theses things know that. I had such a mother who had only unkind words for me and favored my older sister who got everything. Fortunately I turned out to be the strong one because of it....and mother passed on to wherever she is now.

I think because we seek our parent's approval we set ourselves up for this disgusting treatment. At the end of my mother's life I did as much as I could for her, made her comfortable, made sure she was well taken care of, but I did not let her take advantage of me as an adult. Now that she's gone I feel at peace because I treated her well--my older sister is off living on a golf course in California with her second husband, estranged from her children who won't even call her mother, just focusing on herself, pitiful.


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## stablemom (Oct 20, 2012)

--


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## LAURA C (Jan 21, 2013)

Ask4j said:


> Oh Laura, how sad for you but, if at all possible, don't let it get to you--you made something special for your mother and those hearing her say theses things know that. I had such a mother who had only unkind words for me and favored my older sister who got everything. Fortunately I turned out to be the strong one because of it....and mother passed on to wherever she is now.
> 
> I think because we seek our parent's approval we set ourselves up for this disgusting treatment. At the end of my mother's life I did as much as I could for her, made her comfortable, made sure she was well taken care of, but I did not let her take advantage of me as an adult. Now that she's gone I feel at peace because I treated her well--my older sister is off living on a golf course in California with her second husband, estranged from her children who won't even call her mother, just focusing on herself, pitiful.


By the time my mom died, it was a relief. She put herself in an assited living facility because she said I couldn't take care of her. At this point, she had been living with me for 25 years. She actually did me a favor, after she was out of the house, it was much easier to avoid her nastiness. Her 4 gc avoided her and I said nothing. I could not blame them. I went to see her, very begrudgingly, the night before she died. I did the best I could by her, and when I put my head on my pillow at night I sleep. I have 6 gc and twins on the way in November. My life is finally full of laughter.


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## jan.y (Apr 15, 2011)

Some people are just so nasty and rude arnt they I bet your hand made knitted purse looks lovely


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

I think I'd say, "Surely you're kidding! This one is much more expensive to buy. It's custom-designed - especially for me - is 
hand-made and is one-of-a-kind!"


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## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

Sorry - hit send twice.


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## stablemom (Oct 20, 2012)

yarndriver said:


> Wow! This thread just hit a nerve with a lot of us. Vent to your heart's content, but it won't change the mindset a lot of folks have regarding homemade items. PS, my mom made all my clothes including dress coats, evening gowns and wedding dress. I didn't have a ready-mades garment until I was out of college. We learned early on to not mention the fact she made my clothes to avoid rude, insensitive comments.


i just found out last year that my maternal grandmother was a very accomplished seamstress. She made clothes for her children and she made my mother a beautiful navy blue coat that was the height of fashion at the time. my mom said she wore it for years and when it started to fade mama took it all apart, turned the fabric inside out , put it all back together again and mom wore it for more years. mom loved that coat. another time mama "borrowed" a baby set from a friend, took it all apart, copied it into a pattern, sewed the set back together again, returned it and then proceeded to make more sets for the mom. i didn't know my mama, she died when i was only a few years old , but last year my aunt gave me linens mama made and decorated and i feel so lucky to have them


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## j-krau1 (Apr 7, 2011)

Stablemom,

That is a very touching story about your grandmother who you never really had the pleasure of knowing except thru her lifetime of good deeds.


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## stablemom (Oct 20, 2012)

j-krau1 said:


> Stablemom,
> 
> That is a very touching story about your grandmother who you never really had the pleasure of knowing except thru her lifetime of good deeds.


I was very blessed. I grew up here all kinds of stories about mama from my mom and aunt. And I know my mom is the spitting image of her. She was a generous woman in body and soul. I wish I could have known her in life. But I love her anyway! I have tried to do this with my dad who died before either of my girls were born. They know him, without every meeting him, and they love him too. My youngest daughter would write him letters and we would bury them by his headstone for her. Very blessed


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## Christina4654 (Jan 26, 2014)

I think I would have said, "Since you aren't artistic, you must have no idea of the price of yarn, along with that, my own design and time spent creating!" She's just ignorant.


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## lora monier (Feb 13, 2014)

It's just one of those things to forget. You can't change ignorance. For years I made my own clothes and always felt well turned out, one day a "friend" made a cutting remark about "loving hands made at home". It hurt me terribly at the time. But these loving hands went on to knit and sew for my grandchildrens who to my delight still treasure those things. Blessings on my d-i-ls who always saw that I got a picture.


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## tatesgirl (Mar 27, 2011)

LAURA C said:


> I think I would have looked at her said "Jealous you can't make one?' IMHO.someone like that doesn't deserve a response, but I know well how bad it makes you feel. My mother had only criticism for my knitting, no matter what I made she found fault with it. She found great pleasure in criticizing me in front of friends and family. I made her an entrelac jacket out of Noro Silk Garden. Two weeks after I gave it to her, she informed me it was a rag. It was the last thing I made for her. Why do people have to be so mean to each other?


This post reminded me of my first girlfriend ever. We were in our early 20s when she first approached me and told me she admired the clothes I'd sewn for myself and asked me to be her friend and teach her how to sew. I gladly responed. Once when we were engrossed in our projects, she told me her mother was a talented and very busy dressmaker who - on the few times she'd offered her daughter an opportunity to learn her craft - soon SNATCHED the fabric from my friend's hands and said things like "Oh, can't you ever do anything right? Let me do that!" And she would finish the item, making her daughter feel frustrated, embarassed and ashamed.

I taught her what I knew (which wasn't much) and within 5 years she had much such progress that she was Professor of Tailoring at the state university. I occasionally wonder how her mother handled that!

Don't let anyone put you down! The world is full of naysayers and you find them in the most unexpected places; i.e. 9 years ago a hospital technician told me not to even try to quit smoking by going 'cold turkey.' He said he knew 'hundreds' who tried and they all failed. He recommended me finding a group and getting medical help. I thought, "Oh, yeah? I can't quit without crutches? Watch this!" Nine years have passed since I touched a cigarette! Tell me I can't do something and I DO it!


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## kiwi11 (Jul 27, 2011)

GemsByGranny said:


> I always thought it meant unwilling to spend money on essentials.


Actually I see it as "tightfisted" and unwillingness to spend>>>period<<<would prefer to have all for free<<,


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## yarndriver (Aug 24, 2014)

What a warm, touching story. Although my mom did not knit, she sewed and sewed. It was her mother who taught me to crochet with thread and a teeny, tiny hook. And now I'm teaching my granddaughter to knit. Just keep spreading the love...


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## chooksnpinkroses (Aug 23, 2012)

yarndriver said:


> All of this puts me in a funky state of mind and then I remember the lady watching me knit one day. She questioned me extensively about the charity project I was knitting: where did I buy the yarn, how much did it cost, how long would it take to finish. And on and on. Finally, she handed me some cash saying she couldn't knit but she wanted to contribute to the project. I protested but she insisted so I enjoyed that warm fuzzy feeling and bring it out when someone says something unkind. Anyone else have a story?


A lovely tale, there ought to be more like that.


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## yarndriver (Aug 24, 2014)

We should start a new topic: knitting in public happy stories. I promise you there will be tons of them.


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## Susanc241 (Nov 13, 2013)

I confess I haven't read all 14 pages of responses so if I repeat an earlier reply please forgive. I would have said something along the lines of "how many original works of art do you possess?"


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## Ask4j (May 21, 2011)

tatesgirl said:


> This post reminded me .............
> Don't let anyone put you down! The world is full of naysayers and you find them in the most unexpected places; i.e. 9 years ago a hospital technician told me not to even try to quit smoking by going 'cold turkey.' He said* he knew 'hundreds' who tried and they all failed. He recommended me finding a group and getting medical help.* I thought, "Oh, yeah? I can't quit without crutches? Watch this!" Nine years have passed since I touched a cigarette! Tell me I can't do something and I DO it!


Although it was a negative and a put-down, he was your inspiration for succeeding--there was a challenge. Good for you! I think you need to contact him and ask him if ten years would be considered a success in his book. One of my things is getting someone to face up to their errors and a professional at that.


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## Ask4j (May 21, 2011)

Susanc241 said:


> I confess I haven't read all 14 pages of responses so if I repeat an earlier reply please forgive. I would have said something along the lines of "how many original works of art do you possess?"


another good one :thumbup:


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## sinead (Apr 23, 2012)

Tatesgirl, anything like that - i.e. "Don't even try - you'll fail" is an instant challenge and inspires you to succeed!


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## Altaskier (Apr 18, 2013)

Some friend indeed. I like all the replies suggested above. Mine would not be allowed in print!


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## Isabel (Mar 15, 2011)

lindaspinney said:


> I would have said "No, I"m not too cheap to buy one - I'm talented enough to make one."


That's perfect!


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## suzybcool (Sep 30, 2012)

tatesgirl said:


> This post reminded me of my first girlfriend ever. We were in our early 20s when she first approached me and told me she admired the clothes I'd sewn for myself and asked me to be her friend and teach her how to sew. I gladly responed. Once when we were engrossed in our projects, she told me her mother was a talented and very busy dressmaker who - on the few times she'd offered her daughter an opportunity to learn her craft - soon SNATCHED the fabric from my friend's hands and said things like "Oh, can't you ever do anything right? Let me do that!" And she would finish the item, making her daughter feel frustrated, embarassed and ashamed.
> 
> I taught her what I knew (which wasn't much) and within 5 years she had much such progress that she was Professor of Tailoring at the state university. I occasionally wonder how her mother handled that!
> 
> Don't let anyone put you down! The world is full of naysayers and you find them in the most unexpected places; i.e. 9 years ago a hospital technician told me not to even try to quit smoking by going 'cold turkey.' He said he knew 'hundreds' who tried and they all failed. He recommended me finding a group and getting medical help. I thought, "Oh, yeah? I can't quit without crutches? Watch this!" Nine years have passed since I touched a cigarette! Tell me I can't do something and I DO it!


Did you ever think that the technician did you a fantastic favor? Psych!!!


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## Kathleenangel (Dec 27, 2011)

I'm speechless that someone would be rude enough to say that.


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## Farmwoman (Jul 2, 2014)

Glenlady- Your "friend" is the mean one, lacking in compassion, and manners. Just let her remarks flow off your back, like a bathing duck! Who needs friends that act more like enemies?


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## SGale (Dec 30, 2011)

kammyv4 said:


> I think I would have thrown something, or said, "no, you mean you don't have one, they are the latest style."


 :thumbup:


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## CYFFAN (Oct 24, 2012)

I would have said... "well I think by saying that its mean and rude." Holy Cow that would have made me mad at her!!!


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