# Irritated rant



## Sarahwe (Apr 19, 2011)

I've been making plarn items recently - bags, hats, slippers - and an acquaintance asked how many plastic bags it would take to make a shoulder bag. A couple of weeks later, she brought me her stash of recycled bags, and asked me to make her a bag like one I had made for myself. She requested a specific length for the strap. I was finishing the bag while we were out of town, and couldn't remember the length she had specified, so I figured out how to create an adjustable strap that I knew would give her the length she wanted, plus a little more. I also put a pocket on the outside for her cell phone, and a size able pocket on the inside. All in all I had about 15 hours into the making of the bag, including making the plarn. I didn't expect to be paid, as we hadn't discussed price, but I did expect a gracious "thank you". Instead, she looked at the bag and said "didn't I ask you to make it deeper than this?" I was so surprised, I couldn't even think of a response. I had used all the bags she had given me, plus some I had in my plarn stash. I guess my feelings are a little hurt. How would you respond?


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## Tennessee.Gal (Mar 11, 2012)

I would have taken the bag back! How rude! You were very generous to make it for an "acquaintance." I don't know that I would have made it for a friend. 

If it makes you feel any better, many of us have experienced similar responses over knitted/crocheted gifts that took weeks to make. To me, it isn't so much the cost of materials but the time and care involved.


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## Grandma Laurie (Feb 2, 2011)

OOOOOH, those ungrateful people!!!! I think I would have taken it back and told her you'd give her her plastic bags back when you had collected the amount she gave you!


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## laurelarts (Jul 31, 2011)

How rude!!! Don't waste your time on rude people,life is too short.


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## mirl56 (Dec 20, 2011)

Some people are just so rude. 

She requested a certain strap length, but did she ask for more/less depth then yours? Sounds like she got nicer then she asked for. 

Tell her you'll keep that one and make her another if she makes the plarn. I've made it myself and it's time consuming!


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## Homeshppr (Feb 28, 2011)

I noticed you called this person an "acquaintance" and not a friend. I guess it's plain to see she'll never reach friend status with an attitude like this! 

I'd definitely be taken aback by her comments, and would use this as the reason why I don't knit special request items for anyone but friends and family who respect me enough to be gracious enough to care about the time I took to create something special for them.


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## Gypsycream (Nov 23, 2011)

You did more than she asked for and for no payment, she's rude and ungrateful! I would have laughed at her and just taken the bag back and told her you would save your waste plastic bags and give them back to her.

Ungrateful c*w!!!


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## rozemerry (Oct 8, 2012)

After the first time this happens( even if a close friend says, " will you make me a hat for winter?" ) one learns to say, " I would love to. If you will buy the pattern you like and all the yarn it needs, I would gladly make it for you." This separates quickly those who really want one and those who think whipping out a hat of fine yarn is a breeze and cost nothing!!


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## smontero237 (Dec 5, 2011)

I think I would have told her if she didn't like it I would take it back to give to someone who would appreciate it. Then take it!


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## fergablu2 (Apr 30, 2011)

Direct your ungrateful acquaintance to this web page:

http://www.etsy.com/search?includes%5B0%5D=tags&q=plarn+bags&page=1

I would have kept the bag and told her to collect some more plastic bags for herself and make one exactly the way she wants it.


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## fergablu2 (Apr 30, 2011)

Gypsycream said:


> You did more than she asked for and for no payment, she's rude and ungrateful! I would have laughed at her and just taken the bag back and told her you would save your waste plastic bags and give them back to her.
> 
> Ungrateful c*w!!!


I don't think it's rude to spell out "cow". I would have used a much worse epithet.


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## Joy Marshall (Apr 6, 2011)

A man I know related by marriage wants me to knit him a sweater. While not tall he is extremely portly. Well, absolutely huge. I don't knit large items with cheap yarn. It isn't worth my time. In order to knit him a good wool sweater it would cost me about $200 and a couple of months of all the knitting time I have to spare. He made no mention of paying for the yarn nor, of course, did he realize the time involved. So far I have dodged answering him although he doesn't forget to keep asking. I don't want to hurt his feelings. I really don't have the time to take this on, nor want to invest that much money. I just don't know how to handle a situation like this.


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## ltyler65 (Aug 14, 2012)

Me too!! Sorry this happened to you. I've had family members(GDIL) do the same to me. I turn the other cheek (so they can't hear what I'm calling them) and put them on my cold day in double hockey sticks list. When asked for more items my hands hurt too much.LOL


fergablu2 said:


> Gypsycream said:
> 
> 
> > You did more than she asked for and for no payment, she's rude and ungrateful! I would have laughed at her and just taken the bag back and told her you would save your waste plastic bags and give them back to her.
> ...


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## julielacykntr (May 5, 2012)

Explain to her that you did this w/o compensation, that it took 15 hours to make, and that you were glad to do so, BUT that being specific instructions were not given, and you feel she is unappreciative of your time and work, that you prefer not to knit for her in the future. Say this graciously w/another present (validation against gossip). You do not want to become, or act the person that you don't want to be, and obviously are not; you are obviously talented, kind, thoughtful and a giving friend. :thumbup:


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## PaKnitter (Mar 7, 2011)

I would give her back the number of bags she gave you and say 'I'm sorry you are unhappy with the bag. I did the best I can' and end the conversation with her.

There are to many others out there who need your talents and sadly many more who don't know when to keep their mouths shut.


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## susieknitter (Jul 14, 2011)

I know it is hard to think of something to say at the time, but it may not be too late to let her know how rude she has been. I would call her and say, "Ive been thinking, seeing that it took me such a really long time to make the bag for you, and seeing that you evidently wasn't pleased with it, perhaps it would be better if you gave it back to me". DON'T STOP FOR BREATH, OR ANSWER, CONTINUE WITH "I should hate to think that all my hard work as gone to waste and because I really like it I would use it, I can give you some plastic bags back, so that you can make one yourself just the you want it". I think that she will be the one that doesn't know what to say after that.


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## PointySticksNStones (Mar 20, 2012)

Joy Marshall said:


> A man I know related by marriage wants me to knit him a sweater. While not tall he is extremely portly. Well, absolutely huge. I don't knit large items with cheap yarn. It isn't worth my time. In order to knit him a good wool sweater it would cost me about $200 and a couple of months of all the knitting time I have to spare. He made no mention of paying for the yarn nor, of course, did he realize the time involved. So far I have dodged answering him although he doesn't forget to keep asking. I don't want to hurt his feelings. I really don't have the time to take this on, nor want to invest that much money. I just don't know how to handle a situation like this.


Tell him to find the pattern, buy the yarn and that you would knit on it when time permits as you have other paid committments/projects to knit. This works for me.


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## smontero237 (Dec 5, 2011)

Joy Marshall said:


> A man I know related by marriage wants me to knit him a sweater. While not tall he is extremely portly. Well, absolutely huge. I don't knit large items with cheap yarn. It isn't worth my time. In order to knit him a good wool sweater it would cost me about $200 and a couple of months of all the knitting time I have to spare. He made no mention of paying for the yarn nor, of course, did he realize the time involved. So far I have dodged answering him although he doesn't forget to keep asking. I don't want to hurt his feelings. I really don't have the time to take this on, nor want to invest that much money. I just don't know how to handle a situation like this.


That is a hard one, I have had the same situation and I ignored the issue until I couldn't - then I just said no. Unfortunatly it may have harmed my friendship but I do not like to knit for people I don't love and I will stall and put it off until the last minute, creating even more stress. A good friend asked me to crochet a lamb sweater for her granddaughter if it was a girl. I am a knitter who dabbles with crochet, I was taking crochet lessons but this pattern would have been way over my skill level. I explained it was too hard, my friend said I would do it if it was my niece's child. I still refused and we have barely spoke since then. It is sad but I still could not have done it. Both babies were boys so I didn't have to knit it for anybody.


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## shelty lover (Mar 29, 2012)

Usually, I avoid confrontation by saying that I couldn't take on any more projects as my GKs order things up 10 at a time. I'm quick to add that I no longer make things that require a lot of fitting and knitting to complete. That seems to work so far.


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## Sewbizgirl (May 11, 2011)

fergablu2 said:


> Direct your ungrateful acquaintance to this web page:
> 
> http://www.etsy.com/search?includes%5B0%5D=tags&q=plarn+bags&page=1


Interesting! I had no idea Etsy had a section for "plarn"! Some people are even selling the balls of plarn, ready to crochet, and charging as much as yarn.

The pot scrubbers looked like a great idea...


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## Sewbizgirl (May 11, 2011)

smontero237 said:


> That is a hard one, I have had the same situation and I ignored the issue until I couldn't - then I just said no. Unfortunatly it may have harmed my friendship but I do not like to knit for people I don't love and I will stall and put it off until the last minute, creating even more stress. A good friend asked me to crochet a lamb sweater for her granddaughter if it was a girl. I am a knitter who dabbles with crochet, I was taking crochet lessons but this pattern would have been way over my skill level. I explained it was too hard, my friend said I would do it if it was my niece's child. I still refused and we have barely spoke since then. It is sad but I still could not have done it. Both babies were boys so I didn't have to knit it for anybody.


Wow... what a manipulator! I'd have told her 'Yes, I probably would, _for my own neice..._' Throw the truth right back at her. What does she think you are? A machine she can just command to make what she wants? I don't think you lost much of a friend.


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## Grandma Jan (Apr 6, 2011)

Definately DO NOT apologize. We women aplogize way too often when someone else is rude to us. Just give her back the number of bags she gave you and say, "There ya go. There's your bags back." Anything else you say can probably be said silently, to yourself......


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## Tennessee.Gal (Mar 11, 2012)

Joy Marshall said:


> A man I know related by marriage wants me to knit him a sweater. While not tall he is extremely portly. Well, absolutely huge. I don't knit large items with cheap yarn. It isn't worth my time. In order to knit him a good wool sweater it would cost me about $200 and a couple of months of all the knitting time I have to spare. He made no mention of paying for the yarn nor, of course, did he realize the time involved. So far I have dodged answering him although he doesn't forget to keep asking. I don't want to hurt his feelings. I really don't have the time to take this on, nor want to invest that much money. I just don't know how to handle a situation like this.


Just say no. Repeatedly.


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## Tennessee.Gal (Mar 11, 2012)

Grandma Jan said:


> Definately DO NOT apologize. We women aplogize way too often when someone else is rude to us. Just give her back the number of bags she gave you and say, "There ya go. There's your bags back." Anything else you say can probably be said silently, to yourself......


I use my plastic bags for used kitty litter. I could send them to her if you'll provide her address.......


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## Sine (Jun 12, 2011)

I agree with OP: don't apologize; you have nothing to apologize for. I'd smile and say something like, "Since you're not satisfied with the bag that I made, I'll return the number of plastic bags that you gave me."


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## Yarn Happy (May 13, 2012)

Joy Marshall said:


> A man I know related by marriage wants me to knit him a sweater. While not tall he is extremely portly. Well, absolutely huge. I don't knit large items with cheap yarn. It isn't worth my time. In order to knit him a good wool sweater it would cost me about $200 and a couple of months of all the knitting time I have to spare. He made no mention of paying for the yarn nor, of course, did he realize the time involved. So far I have dodged answering him although he doesn't forget to keep asking. I don't want to hurt his feelings. I really don't have the time to take this on, nor want to invest that much money. I just don't know how to handle a situation like this.


Tell him you need the $200 for the yarn, and at least a year to work it into your schedule, that should probably do it.


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## nbaker (Jan 30, 2011)

It amazes me that people who will buy poorly fitted clothing or less than adequate items, like a bag, from a retailer dictate the measurements of something I offer to make and then criticize the results that cost them nothing. What's with that?


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## Drefuzzler (Feb 4, 2011)

People can be rude, don't take it to heart, mostly they just don't think. Or have no concept of what it takes to knit something, let alone all the prep work that goes into getting the bags ready to knit. Actually, I didn't know what it was, so I looked it up on the internet on you tube on how to. NO WAY :x I'd even do that for myself.


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## inishowen (May 28, 2011)

I've been asked for the last few years to knit someone a Christmas sweater. He wants to wear it for a joke on Christmas Day. I keep refusing because it would take a long time to knit and the yarn is expensive. He would probably discard it after Christmas Day. Typical man, does not understand the time and effort required. Your friend was very ungrateful.


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## smontero237 (Dec 5, 2011)

My son wants a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle sweater - He is 26. I asked if he would wear it more than once, the answer was no. I explained the work and expense, he agreed it would not be worth is.

I told my sister about this topic and she used to think I was selfish because I wouldn't knit whatever they wanted. Now she knits and understands the time, effort and expense that goes into a handmade item.


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## denvervet (Jun 4, 2012)

I would just not make anything for her again and if she asks you to THEN you can bring up her comment about the bag you made her and tell her how it made you feel. Sometimes we have to wait a long time for just the "perfect" moment to bring things up. Are you sure she is not from Denver? I live with and meet people like this all the time in Denver. Its a "me" world here. I grew up in the NYC area and I had to move here to meet really rude and mannerless people.


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## denvervet (Jun 4, 2012)

Tennessee.Gal said:


> I would have taken the bag back! How rude! You were very generous to make it for an "acquaintance." I don't know that I would have made it for a friend.
> 
> If it makes you feel any better, many of us have experienced similar responses over knitted/crocheted gifts that took weeks to make. To me, it isn't so much the cost of materials but the time and care involved.


Hey Tennessee Gal, I have this same picture of Hyacinth framed on top of my piano with family pictures. People look at it but never ask who it is. This was one of the best TV shows ever!


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## ltyler65 (Aug 14, 2012)

Whenever someone wants me to knit something for them I say OK but it may be years before you get it as my knitting time is limited and others are in line ahead of you. I always say this with regret and try to make the person understand I'd LOVE to except...fill in your time limitations. Works for me and I can then knit for whomever I choose. Hope this helps. Happy knitting.



Joy Marshall said:


> A man I know related by marriage wants me to knit him a sweater. While not tall he is extremely portly. Well, absolutely huge. I don't knit large items with cheap yarn. It isn't worth my time. In order to knit him a good wool sweater it would cost me about $200 and a couple of months of all the knitting time I have to spare. He made no mention of paying for the yarn nor, of course, did he realize the time involved. So far I have dodged answering him although he doesn't forget to keep asking. I don't want to hurt his feelings. I really don't have the time to take this on, nor want to invest that much money. I just don't know how to handle a situation like this.


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## ltyler65 (Aug 14, 2012)

Love, love, love your reply .


Tennessee.Gal said:


> Grandma Jan said:
> 
> 
> > Definately DO NOT apologize. We women aplogize way too often when someone else is rude to us. Just give her back the number of bags she gave you and say, "There ya go. There's your bags back." Anything else you say can probably be said silently, to yourself......
> ...


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## Katsch (Mar 15, 2011)

I know this is not nice but I would have put the bag over her head. The nerve of some people. I'm sorry she was so rude to you. Shame on her.


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## maureenb (Apr 1, 2011)

Sarahwe said:


> I've been making plarn items recently - bags, hats, slippers - and an acquaintance asked how many plastic bags it would take to make a shoulder bag. A couple of weeks later, she brought me her stash of recycled bags, and asked me to make her a bag like one I had made for myself. She requested a specific length for the strap. I was finishing the bag while we were out of town, and couldn't remember the length she had specified, so I figured out how to create an adjustable strap that I knew would give her the length she wanted, plus a little more. I also put a pocket on the outside for her cell phone, and a size able pocket on the inside. All in all I had about 15 hours into the making of the bag, including making the plarn. I didn't expect to be paid, as we hadn't discussed price, but I did expect a gracious "thank you". Instead, she looked at the bag and said "didn't I ask you to make it deeper than this?" I was so surprised, I couldn't even think of a response. I had used all the bags she had given me, plus some I had in my plarn stash. I guess my feelings are a little hurt. How would you respond?


I don't have an answer,but it sure sounds like my daughter in law


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## Alpaca Farmer (Jan 19, 2011)

I agree with those who said to take it back and give her a handful of plastic bags to "make her own" just the way she wants it. 
Why is it that people who do not knit/crochet think that we can just whip out whatever they want at a moment's notice and that we live in suspended animation waiting for them to demand something from us. 
Only knit for those who love you.


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## Designer1234 (Aug 9, 2011)

think the hardest thing we learn as women is to say *no*

The person you knit the bag for us a rude, and very selfish person. I don't think I would bother with her any more. I do think you might say that you would be happy to take it back as you are sure you will have no problem selling it as it is 'one of a kind' bet she isn't going to agree to that.

As far as the lady who is worried about saying no to the portly gentleman -- I seemed to have problems with this ever since I started making my quilts and knitted - crochet projects. Finally after complaining to my husband he said the word is n - o -
and told me to practice it. I did and it gets easier every day. 
These people are rude to expect you to do something for free, and they are the ones with the problem -- you aren't.

We allow ourselves to worry about what other people think, sometimes when we don't even like them or know them that well.

Sorry -- but that is the way things are - we can't change rude 
spoiled people but we don't have to cater to them. Designer


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## Jenval (Sep 18, 2012)

Joy Marshall said:


> A man I know related by marriage wants me to knit him a sweater. While not tall he is extremely portly. Well, absolutely huge. I don't knit large items with cheap yarn. It isn't worth my time. In order to knit him a good wool sweater it would cost me about $200 and a couple of months of all the knitting time I have to spare. He made no mention of paying for the yarn nor, of course, did he realize the time involved. So far I have dodged answering him although he doesn't forget to keep asking. I don't want to hurt his feelings. I really don't have the time to take this on, nor want to invest that much money. I just don't know how to handle a situation like this.[/quotE
> 
> I have had people ask to knit different things I would say yes and be under so much pressure as I have grandchildren that I knit for, now I have learnt to say no only the other day someone asked me to make something for them, and I actually said I am sorry I can't, it really felt good to say that for a change as I have so much to do for grankids want to make some things for christmas, usually they miss out because I am trying to make things for other people who don't think about paying for the wool or your time, so from now on I have the courage to say, sorry but I can't.


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## Ms. Stitch (May 3, 2012)

Portly man sweater request: I agree - just politely say "no" when asked to do something outside your comfort level whether cost-wise, time-wise or skill-wise. Putting your answer off doesn't work - there is more stress in avoiding something than facing it.


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## Ms. Stitch (May 3, 2012)

Portly man sweater request: I agree - just politely say "no" when asked to do something outside your comfort level whether cost-wise, time-wise or skill-wise. Putting your answer off doesn't work - there is more stress in avoiding something than facing it.


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## Ms. Stitch (May 3, 2012)

Portly man sweater request: I agree - just politely say "no" when asked to do something outside your comfort level whether cost-wise, time-wise or skill-wise. Putting your answer off doesn't work - there is more stress in avoiding something than facing it.


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## Ms. Stitch (May 3, 2012)

Portly man sweater request: I agree - just politely say "no" when asked to do something outside your comfort level whether cost-wise, time-wise or skill-wise. Putting your answer off doesn't work - there is more stress in avoiding something than facing it.


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## Ms. Stitch (May 3, 2012)

Sorry - computer glitch!


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## baileysmom (Aug 28, 2012)

Sarahwe said:


> I've been making plarn items recently - bags, hats, slippers - and an acquaintance asked how many plastic bags it would take to make a shoulder bag. A couple of weeks later, she brought me her stash of recycled bags, and asked me to make her a bag like one I had made for myself. She requested a specific length for the strap. I was finishing the bag while we were out of town, and couldn't remember the length she had specified, so I figured out how to create an adjustable strap that I knew would give her the length she wanted, plus a little more. I also put a pocket on the outside for her cell phone, and a size able pocket on the inside. All in all I had about 15 hours into the making of the bag, including making the plarn. I didn't expect to be paid, as we hadn't discussed price, but I did expect a gracious "thank you". Instead, she looked at the bag and said "didn't I ask you to make it deeper than this?" I was so surprised, I couldn't even think of a response. I had used all the bags she had given me, plus some I had in my plarn stash. I guess my feelings are a little hurt. How would you respond?


What is plain?


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## baileysmom (Aug 28, 2012)

Sarahwe said:


> I've been making plarn items recently - bags, hats, slippers - and an acquaintance asked how many plastic bags it would take to make a shoulder bag. A couple of weeks later, she brought me her stash of recycled bags, and asked me to make her a bag like one I had made for myself. She requested a specific length for the strap. I was finishing the bag while we were out of town, and couldn't remember the length she had specified, so I figured out how to create an adjustable strap that I knew would give her the length she wanted, plus a little more. I also put a pocket on the outside for her cell phone, and a size able pocket on the inside. All in all I had about 15 hours into the making of the bag, including making the plarn. I didn't expect to be paid, as we hadn't discussed price, but I did expect a gracious "thank you". Instead, she looked at the bag and said "didn't I ask you to make it deeper than this?" I was so surprised, I couldn't even think of a response. I had used all the bags she had given me, plus some I had in my plarn stash. I guess my feelings are a little hurt. How would you respond?


Sorry, what is plarn?


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## baileysmom (Aug 28, 2012)

Sarahwe said:


> I've been making plarn items recently - bags, hats, slippers - and an acquaintance asked how many plastic bags it would take to make a shoulder bag. A couple of weeks later, she brought me her stash of recycled bags, and asked me to make her a bag like one I had made for myself. She requested a specific length for the strap. I was finishing the bag while we were out of town, and couldn't remember the length she had specified, so I figured out how to create an adjustable strap that I knew would give her the length she wanted, plus a little more. I also put a pocket on the outside for her cell phone, and a size able pocket on the inside. All in all I had about 15 hours into the making of the bag, including making the plarn. I didn't expect to be paid, as we hadn't discussed price, but I did expect a gracious "thank you". Instead, she looked at the bag and said "didn't I ask you to make it deeper than this?" I was so surprised, I couldn't even think of a response. I had used all the bags she had given me, plus some I had in my plarn stash. I guess my feelings are a little hurt. How would you respond?


Sorry of this is a double post, but I didn't see my question, what is plarn? Thanks.


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## Sarahwe (Apr 19, 2011)

baileysmom said:


> Sarahwe said:
> 
> 
> > I've been making plarn items recently - bags, hats, slippers - and an acquaintance asked how many plastic bags it would take to make a shoulder bag. A couple of weeks later, she brought me her stash of recycled bags, and asked me to make her a bag like one I had made for myself. She requested a specific length for the strap. I was finishing the bag while we were out of town, and couldn't remember the length she had specified, so I figured out how to create an adjustable strap that I knew would give her the length she wanted, plus a little more. I also put a pocket on the outside for her cell phone, and a size able pocket on the inside. All in all I had about 15 hours into the making of the bag, including making the plarn. I didn't expect to be paid, as we hadn't discussed price, but I did expect a gracious "thank you". Instead, she looked at the bag and said "didn't I ask you to make it deeper than this?" I was so surprised, I couldn't even think of a response. I had used all the bags she had given me, plus some I had in my plarn stash. I guess my feelings are a little hurt. How would you respond?
> ...


"Plarn" is yarn made from recycled plastic bags - like from grocery stores.


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## edithann (Feb 12, 2011)

baileysmom said:


> Sarahwe said:
> 
> 
> > I've been making plarn items recently - bags, hats, slippers - and an acquaintance asked how many plastic bags it would take to make a shoulder bag. A couple of weeks later, she brought me her stash of recycled bags, and asked me to make her a bag like one I had made for myself. She requested a specific length for the strap. I was finishing the bag while we were out of town, and couldn't remember the length she had specified, so I figured out how to create an adjustable strap that I knew would give her the length she wanted, plus a little more. I also put a pocket on the outside for her cell phone, and a size able pocket on the inside. All in all I had about 15 hours into the making of the bag, including making the plarn. I didn't expect to be paid, as we hadn't discussed price, but I did expect a gracious "thank you". Instead, she looked at the bag and said "didn't I ask you to make it deeper than this?" I was so surprised, I couldn't even think of a response. I had used all the bags she had given me, plus some I had in my plarn stash. I guess my feelings are a little hurt. How would you respond?
> ...


Plarn is an item made from plastic (recycled) bags. The items can be made by knitting or crocheting the plastic. You can also use yarn along with the plastic. If you do a search,
you will see many of the items that were listed on this site using "plarn."
As far as the lady, I would take the bag back, give her the same amount of plastic bags back and offer to show her how to make one. I'm sure that would end the problem.
As the others have explained, the gentleman can be told the amount of money and time that would be invested and that you can't work on it continuously due to other priorities. He may change his mind!!
Good luck!
Edie (EdithAnn) :mrgreen:


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## StitchDesigner (Jan 24, 2011)

Joy Marshall said:


> A man I know related by marriage wants me to knit him a sweater. While not tall he is extremely portly. Well, absolutely huge. I don't knit large items with cheap yarn. It isn't worth my time. In order to knit him a good wool sweater it would cost me about $200 and a couple of months of all the knitting time I have to spare. He made no mention of paying for the yarn nor, of course, did he realize the time involved. So far I have dodged answering him although he doesn't forget to keep asking. I don't want to hurt his feelings. I really don't have the time to take this on, nor want to invest that much money. I just don't know how to handle a situation like this.


Find a pattern (free, of course) that you think will fit Mr. Gut. Then find suitable yarn. Calculate the cost. Tell him the cost for yarn. Print out the online page if you have to. The one with the price. Then tell him while you make his tent (don't say that, though), you will have to forgo other projects that will be put on hold. Guessamate the time to knit (2 months sounds a little ambitious to me, 3 better, 4 for sure) and tell him. Then tell him that you can only do it at nothing less than minimum wage, after all, he is contracting with you to do it. Say, 80 hours at, say $8 per hour. Yeah, $640 and yarn should put him off.


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## LindaH (Feb 1, 2011)

Hey Joy,

Seriously, just write up an invoice of the yarn costs, along with your time, and an estimated time you would START the project once payment has been received. If you don't want to start it until January 2013, clearly state that.

Of course, you could also give him this link to a commercial knitters for hire service and tell him that they have a lot of knitters there who could do what he wants far quicker than you could.

http://www.fairtradeknitters.com/knit-for-hire/

I would direct him there first and let him see what kind of costs are involved. Trust me, if you haven't checked it out do so. The people that actually knit items for people are paid quite generously for their time, AND there is a markup on the services provided as well. I think that the yarn has to be provided before the project is started as well.

I checked into something like this last year when I was trying to find someone to help me knit a sweater for my niece. At that time, she had just turned 3 and the cost to knit her a sweater with cables was over $450 plus the cost of yarn! If this doesn't deter him, then let him pay those folks and be done with it.

My point is, don't kick yourself because you don't wish to do this for him. You are not responsible for doing everyone's knitting at their whim. Tell him that it is too close to Christmas for you to commit to anything other than what you have planned and give him the above link. Trust me, it won't hurt, and you will feel SO much better when you get this stress off of you back.



Joy Marshall said:


> A man I know related by marriage wants me to knit him a sweater. While not tall he is extremely portly. Well, absolutely huge. I don't knit large items with cheap yarn. It isn't worth my time. In order to knit him a good wool sweater it would cost me about $200 and a couple of months of all the knitting time I have to spare. He made no mention of paying for the yarn nor, of course, did he realize the time involved. So far I have dodged answering him although he doesn't forget to keep asking. I don't want to hurt his feelings. I really don't have the time to take this on, nor want to invest that much money. I just don't know how to handle a situation like this.


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## Pesshe (Mar 11, 2012)

jenval
reading your post it struck me that you did not want to hurt this man's feelings. I believe as women we are taught not to be assertive and to think about others before ourselves. It seems to me you will be hurting doing something you don't want to do. I would tell him something like, " I have been thinking about what you asked me about knitting a sweater for you and I have to say no.
I don't have the time to take on a lengthy project." I would not leave any openings for future possibilities to do knitting for him if you do not want to.

I know I enjoy knitting for people who appreciate the time involved, before and during the knitting process. I have had to say no to several people who I do not want to knit for and who do not have a clue as to what is involved in producing the wonderful pieces we make and the cost of yarn and patterns. of course I am speaking about adults. I hope all the support gives you the strength to say NO. 
As someone said previously don't apologize.


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## Chrissy (May 3, 2011)

LindaH said:


> Hey Joy,
> 
> Seriously, just write up an invoice of the yarn costs, along with your time, and an estimated time you would START the project once payment has been received. If you don't want to start it until January 2013, clearly state that.
> 
> ...


Oh my Goodness!! $450 plus yarn cost for a childs sweater!
If that doesnt put him off, nothing will.


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## nitnurse (May 20, 2012)

I think I would have swung the bag at the ingrates head! I don't know how you stopped yourself!


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## rpuhrmann (Jun 20, 2011)

So, that's exactly what you need to tell him! "Oh, I'm so sorry, but I won't be able to make that right now. I really don't have the money, or time to invest in it right now, as I have other projects going". If he asks how much for the cost of yarn, and time, separate them. "Well, I'll need at least 'this' many balls of yarn, which would be about $200, and then it would take me around 2 1/2 months to make it". He will either cough up the money, or say forget it. 

Roberta



Joy Marshall said:


> A man I know related by marriage wants me to knit him a sweater. While not tall he is extremely portly. Well, absolutely huge. I don't knit large items with cheap yarn. It isn't worth my time. In order to knit him a good wool sweater it would cost me about $200 and a couple of months of all the knitting time I have to spare. He made no mention of paying for the yarn nor, of course, did he realize the time involved. So far I have dodged answering him although he doesn't forget to keep asking. I don't want to hurt his feelings. I really don't have the time to take this on, nor want to invest that much money. I just don't know how to handle a situation like this.


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## Marny CA (Jun 26, 2011)

Not only should 'buyer beware' but also should be the seller.

I hope this was a learning experience for you.

Giving her back the same number of plastic bags, when you get them, would have been acceptable, afaic.


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## nitnurse (May 20, 2012)

laurelarts said:


> How rude!!! Don't waste your time on rude people,life is too short.


You go girl - I am with you on this!

:thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## elaineadams (Oct 17, 2011)

Ungrateful person. I would have taken the bag back, and either used it myself or sold it on ebay or given to someone to sell at a craft stall/fair.


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## cbjlinda (May 25, 2011)

I would have taken it back and said ohhhhhh I didn't realize you wanted it deeper than this. then I would have collected a number of the plastic bags and delivered them to her the next time i saw her and said sorry I just don't seem to be able to find the time needed to make another one for you as there are just too many people in line that really want and appreciate them. welllllllllll maybe not the last part but i definately wouldn't be making her another and she definately would not get the one I made eitherl.!!!!


Sarahwe said:


> I've been making plarn items recently - bags, hats, slippers - and an acquaintance asked how many plastic bags it would take to make a shoulder bag. A couple of weeks later, she brought me her stash of recycled bags, and asked me to make her a bag like one I had made for myself. She requested a specific length for the strap. I was finishing the bag while we were out of town, and couldn't remember the length she had specified, so I figured out how to create an adjustable strap that I knew would give her the length she wanted, plus a little more. I also put a pocket on the outside for her cell phone, and a size able pocket on the inside. All in all I had about 15 hours into the making of the bag, including making the plarn. I didn't expect to be paid, as we hadn't discussed price, but I did expect a gracious "thank you". Instead, she looked at the bag and said "didn't I ask you to make it deeper than this?" I was so surprised, I couldn't even think of a response. I had used all the bags she had given me, plus some I had in my plarn stash. I guess my feelings are a little hurt. How would you respond?


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## elsiemarley (Jul 27, 2012)

Joy Marshall said:


> A man I know related by marriage wants me to knit him a sweater. While not tall he is extremely portly. Well, absolutely huge. I don't knit large items with cheap yarn. It isn't worth my time. In order to knit him a good wool sweater it would cost me about $200 and a couple of months of all the knitting time I have to spare. He made no mention of paying for the yarn nor, of course, did he realize the time involved. So far I have dodged answering him although he doesn't forget to keep asking. I don't want to hurt his feelings. I really don't have the time to take this on, nor want to invest that much money. I just don't know how to handle a situation like this.


My first thought on reading this thread was a situation I encountered a few years ago, and then read above quote and had to laugh -- then found still more ladies in this situation -- what's with the portly men? I told him I couldn't afford the amount of wool yarn that would be needed but would consider making one if he bought a pattern and the yarn -- I got sort of a huff -- but then he did some price checking and that was the end of that! Now he is happy with just a hat now and then.

To people like the bag lady -- I just offer to teach once they have the supplies -- most won't even buy a crochet hook, much less knitting needles.

Take Joy,


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## lizmaxwell (Jul 23, 2011)

Dont ever use Tesco bags to make one of these with, they self destruct in about 6 months and distruct in 6 months to little bits


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## Brinn Knits (May 26, 2012)

I had a similar situation years ago with gifts to my nephews. One nephew graciously accepted his gift of hat and scarft in his school colors and thanked me profusely. The other said "thanks" and tossed it in a pile of other clothing gifts. So I turned to them both and offered a choice for gifts: they could accept the gifts I make them or I could just give them cash. The first, gracious, nephew replied "Aunt Stephie I'll love anything you make me." The other "I'd rather have the cash". I guess you know who doesn't get much for Christmas anymore!


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## damemary (Mar 14, 2012)

I think these situations arise for all crafters, mainly to give us a chance to develop a strategy that works for us next time. 

Sometimes it's a physical limitation: I'm having such trouble with my arm. The doctor has instructed me to avoid straining the tendons more for 6 months.

Sometimes it's a frank: I'm such a slow knitter it takes forever for me to finish ______. I'm sure you'll find what you want. Or it's so expensive. Most people don't want to spend this much.

Practice and get creative.


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## pfoley (Nov 29, 2011)

Personally, I love what you did with the adjustable strap and cell phone pocket; great idea. 

I would probably say, look, I'm really sorry it isn't as you expected; I will keep it and give it to someone else. I will give you back the same amount of bags that you gave to me. If she asks you to make another bag to her specs, just say no, I don't feel like doing that again; I am working on something else now.
That would be the last thing I wold ever make for her.
I would never make her another item again.


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## sidecargrammie (Feb 14, 2011)

hmmm...happened to me also...made beautiful scarves for everyone in my daughters' family as I knew they were all going skiing....to my surprise, they were all given to them and they in turn gave them away...to my other's daughter's family...won't be knitting anything for them in the future.


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## Crumplin (Sep 7, 2012)

Joy Marshall said:


> A man I know related by marriage wants me to knit him a sweater. While not tall he is extremely portly. Well, absolutely huge. I don't knit large items with cheap yarn. It isn't worth my time. In order to knit him a good wool sweater it would cost me about $200 and a couple of months of all the knitting time I have to spare. He made no mention of paying for the yarn nor, of course, did he realize the time involved. So far I have dodged answering him although he doesn't forget to keep asking. I don't want to hurt his feelings. I really don't have the time to take this on, nor want to invest that much money. I just don't know how to handle a situation like this.


My suggestion is that you hand him an armful of patterns, tell him to choose one and buy the requisite wool (ostensibly so he can get the right size, colour, brand,etc.)  by which time he might have changed his mind ............. 
If not, tell him you will put him on your waiting list!

Edna C


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## jan m (Jul 5, 2011)

Sarahwe said:


> I've been making plarn items recently - bags, hats, slippers - and an acquaintance asked how many plastic bags it would take to make a shoulder bag. A couple of weeks later, she brought me her stash of recycled bags, and asked me to make her a bag like one I had made for myself. She requested a specific length for the strap. I was finishing the bag while we were out of town, and couldn't remember the length she had specified, so I figured out how to create an adjustable strap that I knew would give her the length she wanted, plus a little more. I also put a pocket on the outside for her cell phone, and a size able pocket on the inside. All in all I had about 15 hours into the making of the bag, including making the plarn. I didn't expect to be paid, as we hadn't discussed price, but I did expect a gracious "thank you". Instead, she looked at the bag and said "didn't I ask you to make it deeper than this?" I was so surprised, I couldn't even think of a response. I had used all the bags she had given me, plus some I had in my plarn stash. I guess my feelings are a little hurt. How would you respond?


If this reacton/response is a 'deal breaker,' i.e., you don't care to have her as an acquiantance, ask her to return the bag so you can 'make things right'. Keep the bag--or gift to someone who'll appreciate it--and reimburse her the number of bags she provided.


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## Mary Cardiff (Mar 18, 2012)

What a nasty women,I made a dress On the knitting machine for a 1 year old,I was then asked to make an other one,The same colour the same size (it was my own yarn)The day after I gave it to them,She was back could I make it bigger,Kept the dress and gave her the money back,I few years latter ,she sent a message with a neighbour ,could I make some Baby clothes for the baby she was expecting,I said No


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## motherdawg (Feb 13, 2011)

FOOL me once, shame on you.....


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## Jean Keith (Feb 17, 2011)

When people have the nerve to ask you to do something involving your time AND money, you must have the nerve to say no. Advice of my mother years ago.


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## vpatt (Dec 24, 2011)

nbaker said:


> It amazes me that people who will buy poorly fitted clothing or less than adequate items, like a bag, from a retailer dictate the measurements of something I offer to make and then criticize the results that cost them nothing. What's with that?


this really is true, I think it is because there is a real person behind the product. they will buy absolute junk in a store and smile while paying for it. But when a person is standing behind it they expect perfection and don't intend to pay for it. This is only a part of the population...there are those out there who do appreciate good work. Years ago I began telling people that I would be glad to teach them to knit/crochet so that they could make their own sweater/whatever......I don't believe any one has taken me up on that. Once a told a girl how much the yarn would cost and she was shocked, she said "I could buy a sweater at Walmart cheaper!" I agreed with her and that was the end of it and no hard feelings, lol. Some people really don't understand. And of course she couldn't have the same quality from Walmart, but it allowed her to see the cost difference.


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## ftmum22 (Sep 3, 2012)

Take it back and give it to someone who appreciates it! I would.


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## sam0767 (Jun 20, 2012)

I agree with some that says take it back and tell her you will replace the bags she gave you when you get them collected and call it good. You added some extras such as the pockets and a adjustable strap. If she can't be happy with that then she dosen't need it. It really irritated me when when you said the depth wasen't deep enough. Well that right there would have made me grab it back and walk away. I don't tolerate rudeness when it comes to things like that and I would have to wallk away or shoot my mouth off and say something I would regreat later. :thumbdown: :thumbdown: :thumbdown:


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## sam0767 (Jun 20, 2012)

PaKnitter said:


> I would give her back the number of bags she gave you and say 'I'm sorry you are unhappy with the bag. I did the best I can' and end the conversation with her.
> 
> There are to many others out there who need your talents and sadly many more who don't know when to keep their mouths shut.


 :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## sam0767 (Jun 20, 2012)

PointySticksNStones said:


> Joy Marshall said:
> 
> 
> > A man I know related by marriage wants me to knit him a sweater. While not tall he is extremely portly. Well, absolutely huge. I don't knit large items with cheap yarn. It isn't worth my time. In order to knit him a good wool sweater it would cost me about $200 and a couple of months of all the knitting time I have to spare. He made no mention of paying for the yarn nor, of course, did he realize the time involved. So far I have dodged answering him although he doesn't forget to keep asking. I don't want to hurt his feelings. I really don't have the time to take this on, nor want to invest that much money. I just don't know how to handle a situation like this.
> ...


 :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## Meditation601 (Feb 23, 2011)

Tell her she is ungrateful, and in the future, she can make her own items............then I would smile and walk away (with "your" bag in hand, of course)

It amazes me when a recipient can be so obnoxious! Please don't let it bother YOU....... she needs to take responsibility for her rude and obnoxious attitude. 

MaryAnn


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## Mumah (Nov 15, 2011)

How VERY rude and ungrateful :evil:I would have taken it back and said " next time you want something making, you know where to go.....SOMEWHERE ELSE." People like that make my blood boil :thumbdown:


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## motherdawg (Feb 13, 2011)

BTW can I see what it looks like?


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## Nevah (Aug 11, 2012)

Thats why I do not take orders for anything. If they like my stuff and want the one I knit, in the colour I choose they are welcome to it but after that they can go shopping in a store. I would not knit another bag for her. Giver her the web sight or pattern and tell her to utube how to knit. so she can do it herself.


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## headvase1 (Nov 18, 2011)

DITTO I know someone like that also. I just tell them you buy the pattern and yarn and I will make it for you but you need to be specific as to what you want before I get started on it. This usually changes their mind on the item.


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## rmrod53 (Jan 23, 2011)

You poor Thing, Unfortunately there are lots of ungrateful thoughtless people who think nothing of wasting your time and talents. You have had to learn a lesson that many of us have had to learn over the years. It is better to say No at the start then feel used and abused. I've learned over the years that it is much better to say "anytime you want get the yarn and pattern and I'll be more then happy to teach you how to Knit, sew, crochet" whatever it is they want you to do for them. It is amazing how quickly they start backpeddeling. I hope your never in that situation again. That is actually something I want to learn how to do, I've been saving my bags for quite a while and I want to make some rugs for my husbands outdoor cat, in the winter she sleeps in our garage and she refuses to sleep in the bed i've provided so the best I can do is a rug for her. Chalk it up to being a good heart and let it go.


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## SERENDIPITY (Oct 6, 2012)

Hi Sarahwe
Well there's just no pleasing some people. I would've been very hurt. She just has no idea the time and trouble that you took and the way I see it, very ungrateful. Refuse politely next time and make up some excuse - though you have every reason not to be polite. Don't worry too much about it - it's just not worth it - life's too short - just put it down to experience - as we say here in the UK "there's nowt queer as folk".


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## SandraPurl (Dec 12, 2011)

I want to thank you for your irritated 'rant' !!!! I didn't know what a plarn was but do now. And watched many videos showing how to make recycled bags. That rude woman didn't deserve your bag but because of her many of us on this site have learned something new and that's a good thing!!!


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## MrsC (Jul 10, 2011)

Joy Marshall said:


> A man I know related by marriage wants me to knit him a sweater. While not tall he is extremely portly. Well, absolutely huge. I don't knit large items with cheap yarn. It isn't worth my time. In order to knit him a good wool sweater it would cost me about $200 and a couple of months of all the knitting time I have to spare. He made no mention of paying for the yarn nor, of course, did he realize the time involved. So far I have dodged answering him although he doesn't forget to keep asking. I don't want to hurt his feelings. I really don't have the time to take this on, nor want to invest that much money. I just don't know how to handle a situation like this.


Tell him how much yarn you will need and how long it will take and have him buy the yarn. Oh, yes, and tell him what kind of yarn, as well. When he sees the cost, that will be the end of that, I hope.


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## Swarff (Aug 17, 2012)

I would have been very upset as well. I feel personally that we are so used to a world of 'throw a way' that when something is hand made for us, one does not truly understand the time and the effort that goes into it. For that alone a gracious thank you should be expected.
I would also be double annoyed as here in Wales, UK we don't get free plastic bags anymore, we have to pay for them, 5pence each if we forget to take our own shopping bags....


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## JudyRett (Oct 21, 2011)

My feelings would have been hurt too! Some people are very ungracious.


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## vpatt (Dec 24, 2011)

Maybe she forgot her meds that day, but that is still no excuse for rudeness.


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## scumbugusa (Oct 10, 2011)

I would say "I am sorry you don't like it, but I used all of the bags you gave me and used some of my own. I would be happy to replace the bags for you and keep the bag". 

Then leave it at that. It willl put the clod in the position of having to decide whether to accept it or not. Either way you have an already made bag or an ungrateful friend that I would not knit for again.


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## Vignewood (Apr 18, 2011)

Have you ever had the experience of making something for someone, then having them come back when it is damaged and expect you to fix it? I have. Seems that if you made it, it is your responsibility forever sometimes.


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## mumpud (Oct 9, 2012)

I'm sorry your acquaintance didn't respond in a friendly manner. Tell her you're sorry it didn't meet her specs and suggest she learn to knit so she can make it the way she wants. One of the things I'm trying to do in my life is to respond as graciously as possible to rude people. This is not to be a doormat, but to rid myself of negative feelings. I believe the the kinder we are to others (especially the ride ones), the kinder gracious people will be to us. By the way, what is a 'plarc'? Is that the word?


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## cgcharles (Feb 23, 2011)

I have a daughter in law like that. Never happy with anything but wants it all for free.


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## msacco53 (Nov 26, 2011)

You gotta pray for people who are that insensative. Don't be rude back, that is no way to live. That person may have not been brought up with thanksgiving in her heart. She may not have been taught. She may also have experienced unforgivable things in her life and has become cold and entitled. Just pray for her. Between you and God, something will happen to right her spirit. Blessings.


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## rjazz (Feb 9, 2011)

I also would have taken it back! Say, graciously, that, since she is not 100% satisfied, you couldn't possibly expect her to accept the bag, and you will replace the bags as soon as possible. Perhaps she knows someone else who will make it for her.


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## morningstar (Mar 24, 2012)

Joy Marshall said:


> A man I know related by marriage wants me to knit him a sweater. While not tall he is extremely portly. Well, absolutely huge. I don't knit large items with cheap yarn. It isn't worth my time. In order to knit him a good wool sweater it would cost me about $200 and a couple of months of all the knitting time I have to spare. He made no mention of paying for the yarn nor, of course, did he realize the time involved. So far I have dodged answering him although he doesn't forget to keep asking. I don't want to hurt his feelings. I really don't have the time to take this on, nor want to invest that much money. I just don't know how to handle a situation like this.


Please help me to understand that you 'don't want to hurt his feelings!' Just how much did he consider your feelings, your time, your expense??? You are in charge. Just say NOOOOO!


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## Dohuga (Nov 26, 2011)

This type of thing has happened to me. I can't seem to say "no" when someone admires something I have made and wants one. Mostly, thank goodness, most seem appreciative.....but not all. There will always be an ungrateful wretch to deal with in life, I guess.


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## Rainebo (Apr 22, 2012)

I would simply say, "I'll just keep this bag myself, since you're not happy with it and I spent 15 hours making it. If you wish, I'll replace your bags." It's very sad when some people are so unappreciative and rude. I'm sorry this happened to you!


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## virginia42 (Mar 13, 2011)

fergablu2 said:


> Direct your ungrateful acquaintance to this web page:
> 
> http://www.etsy.com/search?includes%5B0%5D=tags&q=plarn+bags&page=1
> 
> I would have kept the bag and told her to collect some more plastic bags for herself and make one exactly the way she wants it.


That's a wonderful idea.


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## Rainebo (Apr 22, 2012)

Joy Marshall said:


> A man I know related by marriage wants me to knit him a sweater. While not tall he is extremely portly. Well, absolutely huge. I don't knit large items with cheap yarn. It isn't worth my time. In order to knit him a good wool sweater it would cost me about $200 and a couple of months of all the knitting time I have to spare. He made no mention of paying for the yarn nor, of course, did he realize the time involved. So far I have dodged answering him although he doesn't forget to keep asking. I don't want to hurt his feelings. I really don't have the time to take this on, nor want to invest that much money. I just don't know how to handle a situation like this.


I guess I would just say, "I'm sorry, but I really don't have the time to take this on."


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## Mz Molly (May 31, 2012)

At the end of all these comments is a lady with a daughter-in-law problem just like this. Prayer (don't want to preach) is the best thing because they have a broken spot in their heart.

Yes, it is true. Something happened along life's path and they got a crack in their heart that never healed. No one is born mean. They learn it. 

I have been praying for a friend of my friend for over a year and just now she is starting to come around. Prayer does work, if you look past the person to the broken heart.


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## Mz Molly (May 31, 2012)

I know we all want to reply back to this person with a quick remark but that will only make the break in the heart bigger.


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## Dlclose (Jun 26, 2011)

fergablu2 said:


> Direct your ungrateful acquaintance to this web page:
> 
> http://www.etsy.com/search?includes%5B0%5D=tags&q=plarn+bags&page=1
> 
> I would have kept the bag and told her to collect some more plastic bags for herself and make one exactly the way she wants it.


Of course we never think to say anything because we are so stunned and hurt at the time. I would print that page and give it to her now afterward so she can see the value of the bags when finished. I think they're all beautiful and I would think the plan would be hard on your fingers. Actually, I think I'll make one for my daughter who works for the Ohio Department of Natural Resources to show one way to save the environment from these nasty plastic bags! Her office people would be pleased with the recycling.


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## Ronie (Jan 21, 2011)

oh gosh its so easy to say what we would want to do 'After the Fact' but I have found in situations like this that a "you have got to be kidding" look sends more messages than words can describe.. it gets them thinking that maybe they said something wrong.. and of course they did... I'm sorry you went to all that trouble... maybe if you planned a meeting with this person.. with some plastic bags and all the supply's you need... then show them how to do their own.. of course that would take a special person to be able to do that to... I guess this is chalked up to a lesson learned... I hope they come back with a better respons soon... 
Actually i am making a shawl for my sister... and my hubby says.. oh she's going to like it.. I told him she has never liked anything I have given her so I'm not holding my breath... I hope she will like it... but I am making it for her because she is going through a very hard time and I want to bring her some comfort... not sure that will happen either but she's my sis and I'll do anything I can... some people are just not good with words....


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## taborhills (Sep 8, 2012)

Rather than focusing on the other person's words or behaviour, one can use an occasion like this to re-examine one's own's assumptions. In a case like this, I myself may have been expecting enthusiasm and gratitude, and that is not a direction which will lead to happiness. 

Likewise, thinking about "what I could have said" or "what I will say next time" is not productive of peace for oneself or others. 

Just move on -- watching for someone who really does need you and your (not always knitted) gifts. Peace and joy!


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## Torticollus (Dec 3, 2011)

On a side note, I definitely agree with Rozemerry that if I do a project for someone, she has to buy the yarn and pattern. Then I do add on a fee for labor. Friends or acquaintances don't take advantage of each other.


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## morningstar (Mar 24, 2012)

judihaven said:


> At the end of all these comments is a lady with a daughter-in-law problem just like this. Prayer (don't want to preach) is the best thing because they have a broken spot in their heart.
> 
> Yes, it is true. Something happened along life's path and they got a crack in their heart that never healed. No one is born mean. They learn it.
> 
> I have been praying for a friend of my friend for over a year and just now she is starting to come around. Prayer does work, if you look past the person to the broken heart.


Every adult on this planet carries hurts in their hearts. That does not give anyone license to totally ignore the feelings of others. You can pray for them but you don't need to be manipulated by them.


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## oma lisa (Jan 25, 2011)

Sarah, you have every right to be irritated and to rant!! I agree with "susieknitter's" response and assuming ms/mr. Rude already has the bag, I would add to your conversation with ms/mr. Rude that you will "be over (to their home) in 1 hour to pick it up"


susieknitter said:


> I know it is hard to think of something to say at the time, but it may not be too late to let her know how rude she has been. I would call her and say, "Ive been thinking, seeing that it took me such a really long time to make the bag for you, and seeing that you evidently wasn't pleased with it, perhaps it would be better if you gave it back to me". DON'T STOP FOR BREATH, OR ANSWER, CONTINUE WITH "I should hate to think that all my hard work as gone to waste and because I really like it I would use it, I can give you some plastic bags back, so that you can make one yourself just the you want it". I think that she will be the one that doesn't know what to say after that.


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## Tessa28 (Sep 26, 2011)

I Truly sympathise, that was downright rude and I hope she is an ex acquaintance! My daughter asked me to knit an Aran cardigan for each of my two grandaughters 3 and 7 years old. I showed her a beautiful pattern I had found, she said she loved it and I chose a beautiful soft cream aran yarn which was quite expensive. I knit them, the collar was lace trimmed and the band/button band were also trimmed with lacework. She sent them back to me saying they were two boxy, but that was the style and she liked it on the pattern, I was gutted. My best friend said she would take them for two of her grandaughters and insisted on paying for them, I said just pay for the wool, her daughter in laws sent me cards saying how beautiful the cardigans were and that my daughter should have her head tested. I have not knitted for my grandaughters since, all their baby knits were done by me. I learned my lesson only do work for those who appreciate it. Tessa 28


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## Tessa28 (Sep 26, 2011)

I Truly sympathise, that was downright rude and I hope she is an ex acquaintance! My daughter asked me to knit an Aran cardigan for each of my two grandaughters 3 and 7 years old. I showed her a beautiful pattern I had found, she said she loved it and I chose a beautiful soft cream aran yarn which was quite expensive. I knit them, the collar was lace trimmed and the band/button band were also trimmed with lacework. She sent them back to me saying they were too boxy, but that was the style and she liked it on the pattern, I was gutted. My best friend said she would take them for two of her grandaughters and insisted on paying for them, I said just pay for the wool, her daughter in laws sent me cards saying how beautiful the cardigans were and that my daughter should have her head tested. I have not knitted for my grandaughters since, all their baby knits were done by me. I learned my lesson only do work for those who appreciate it. Tessa 28


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## smontero237 (Dec 5, 2011)

lizmaxwell said:


> Dont ever use Tesco bags to make one of these with, they self destruct in about 6 months and distruct in 6 months to little bits


What is a Tesco bag? I want to make a tote bag but don't want it to fall apart. Thanks


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## susanrs1 (Mar 21, 2011)

I, too, would have asked for the bag back. What an ungrateful, rude, person. Oh, I could say much worse but I will restrain myself online. This just reiterates what I always say - knitters and crocheters - for the most part - are the only people who TRULY appreciate our craft. I know there are exceptions, but not many, at least in my experience. I'm so sorry you had to go thru this.


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## Fourel (Jun 25, 2012)

Hi Joy, be up front with the man and tell him you don't have the time to knit him a sweater. If you do chose to make the sweater let him know the cost of materials and time. Years ago a friend asked me to make a sweater for her small child. She agreed with the color but half way through she changed her mind. I finished the sweater and gave it to another friend who appreciated it and even offered to pay for it. I refused payment and enjoyed watching the girl wear the sweater. I never knitted another thing for the other friend and told her why.


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## painthoss (Jul 10, 2012)

Ms. Stitch said:


> Sorry - computer glitch!


No, I think the computer was quite right, your post was very to the point and useful, and worthy of being repeated 4 times.

i'm going to stick it to my computer screen!


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## jonibee (Nov 3, 2011)

That's what you call "Looking A Gift Horse In the Mouth"..very unappreciative..is she a true friend? Don't be a softee next time she asks you to make something tell her ..you too busy with other things.


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## EZ2 (Aug 11, 2011)

Some people's lack of manners is astounding. Where is Emily Post when you need her?


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## barb knits (Sep 18, 2011)

I thoroughly enjoyed the responses of Grama Jan, fergablu2 and denvervet. I definitely would ignore any request and when back into a corner just say I don't enjoy knitting for anyone but family.

Also, I was so happy to see the "rant" in the topics. Many times during life I've used a trick Mum taught me --- write a letter to someone; tell them all of your grievances; take a deep breath when finished; then, ripe up the letter. Words once said can not be retrieved, but the rant is so healthy! Good for you to have found another outlet!


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## PauletteB. (Feb 7, 2012)

For me it would be lesson learned. Do projects of my own choosing and for the people I want to make things for.


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## wittoknit (Sep 26, 2012)

fergablu2 said:


> Direct your ungrateful acquaintance to this web page:
> 
> http://www.etsy.com/search?includes%5B0%5D=tags&q=plarn+bags&page=1
> 
> I would have kept the bag and told her to collect some more plastic bags for herself and make one exactly the way she wants it.


I agree totally with you!


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## Jaki (Apr 5, 2011)

How extremely rude!!! Know that what you did was simply splendiferous, generous and perfect - be glad she is only an aquaintance and not a friend so is will be no loss !!!


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## smontero237 (Dec 5, 2011)

Tessa28 said:


> I Truly sympathise, that was downright rude and I hope she is an ex acquaintance! My daughter asked me to knit an Aran cardigan for each of my two grandaughters 3 and 7 years old. I showed her a beautiful pattern I had found, she said she loved it and I chose a beautiful soft cream aran yarn which was quite expensive. I knit them, the collar was lace trimmed and the band/button band were also trimmed with lacework. She sent them back to me saying they were too boxy, but that was the style and she liked it on the pattern, I was gutted. My best friend said she would take them for two of her grandaughters and insisted on paying for them, I said just pay for the wool, her daughter in laws sent me cards saying how beautiful the cardigans were and that my daughter should have her head tested. I have not knitted for my grandaughters since, all their baby knits were done by me. I learned my lesson only do work for those who appreciate it. Tessa 28


This story makes my heart ache. I would have a word or two with my daughter but I would not quit knitting for my grandchildren. I bet they would have treasured those sweaters forever and their own children would have worn them.


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## gsbyrge (Jul 12, 2011)

Make up an estimate, just like a building contractor, showing how many balls of yarn, the price, and estimated hours at whatever hourly rate you choose (I would think $15/hour is not unreasonable-after all, you are a skilled worker) and present it to him. Don't skimp on the estimate. I don't know too many people who are willing to put out that kind of money.


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## barb knits (Sep 18, 2011)

I thoroughly enjoyed the responses of Grama Jan, fergablu2 and denvervet. I would definitely ignore the bag issue, would ignore any request and when backed into a corner, just say I don't do request knitting anymore.

Also, I was so happy to see the "rant" in the topics. Many times during life I've used a trick Mum taught me --- write a letter to someone; tell them all of your grievances; take a deep breath when finished; then, rip up the letter. Words once said can not be retrieved, but the rant is so healthy (the ripping releases frustration)! Good for you to have found another outlet!


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## soneka (Feb 8, 2011)

Well, since they were her bags, I would have handed it to her and said, "Here, you make the adjustment," and walked off, never to make her anything again.


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## sunshyne (Nov 29, 2011)

I would have taken it back in a New york second, it was so nice of you to make it...i'm a knitter and know the work we put into making something...she had no problem telling you how she felt, I would have nothing but would have taken it back..


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## mariel (Apr 25, 2011)

We have all had these experiences. I now handle situations this way, if I feel you are not Knit Worthy or Sew Worthy you do not receive gifts from me and I make it very well known.


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## nifty needles (May 30, 2012)

Just be honest and polite. Tell him how much wool it will take and how much it will cost to buy it. If he is still interested, ask if he would like some help choosing the wool. If he turns pale and walks away you have saved yourself a lot of trouble. :thumbup:


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## Heartigan (Aug 29, 2011)

It took you only 15 hours! My goodness you are talented. It takes me more than 15 hours to make the plarn much less do anything with it. Then my hands just ache before I have even crocheted anything. I think I would ask her for the bag back, saying that in describing "the bag" you have had many requests and that you need a sample for display. She might be so flattered, and gives back the bag... As to the replacing of her plastic bags... well I would just go to the pet store... buy her a roll of poo bags and call it even... They do come in bright colors... Sorry I am mean spirited this morning.!


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## scumbugusa (Oct 10, 2011)

Plarn is knitting with strips of plastic usually from grocery bags etc


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## denvervet (Jun 4, 2012)

Yeah, what is plarn? Knitting with plastic bags? Never heard of it til now. I think many times we forget to set boundaries when we make friends, this has come up time and time again in my life. So many times people say things to me that are off color and for years I wondered why, at 56 years old I finally figured out it was because I let them! Now, I just politely set boundaries and correct people when they say things that are displeasant. Also there is the the irrational vs. rational behavior of people, sometimes people are lost in their own worlds and you have to bring them back to the "real" world. They don't realize they are saying things irrationally or upsetting and its up to you to bring them back down to earth or they will do it to you all the time and not to others who have called them on it. A guy I know wants a pair of slippers that I make, told me the colors and everything, he said he would pay but never how much so he ain't gettin the slippers. If he wants them bad enough he'll come up with a price. His feet are very large and I would be stuck with them and the 4 days it would take to make them......oh heck no! In the past I would have made them for him to make him happy.


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## 1artist (May 24, 2011)

I would have taken it back, threw it in recycling in front of her and said "you're welcome" and walked away.


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## Mz Molly (May 31, 2012)

We are missing the point on the rude lady. Some of the comments seem a bit harsh. Are we any better if we judge her for her rudeness. We don't know why she acts the way she does. Why do we act the way we do? Please, I am not excusing her actions, just saying, maybe try to understand. No, don't offer to do things again, and no don't go to her as a friend. But just be aware she has a problem. I have had people come back and apologize to me after several years. It takes time.,


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## Mz Molly (May 31, 2012)

I went to an anger management seminar. If both people hold to their side there is a no win situation. If, however, you accept the "bad" or mistake, the other person looks like they won. They didn't really. The other person wants to win no matter what. As soon as you accept the responsibility, the hurt feelings are over. No does not make sense but keeps every one happy.


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## taborhills (Sep 8, 2012)

I agree with Judihaven. Every experience can be used for our growth in maturity. Reflect and consider. Yes, try to BE the change you would like to see (Mahatma Gandhi). If you would like to see grace, be gracious. if you would like to be forgiven, forgive. If you would like to be appreciated, appreciate that we are all works in progress.


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## DonnieK (Nov 23, 2011)

I would have very sweetly said "No dear, I wrote down what you told me and the only specs you gave were regarding the strap" then I would have said, "Now you have a choice to make don't you? What I mean is, walk out the door, or be booted out the door! Oh, and please, don't ask me for another thing. Not even sugar!"


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## AnnieOD (Oct 9, 2012)

People are annoying with their whims and ideas of what they want. I didn't get paid for a hat that the girl had me make, she told me for a newborn, as it turns out her "newborn" is 4 months old, so she wanted a bigger hat that I made, and I have let her know its ready and I haven't heard back. I have these hats done in a few hours and they are cute, but people don't seem to want to pay after they realize I make EXACTLY what they asked for!!!


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## julietremain (Jul 8, 2011)

This is a "friend"!!!!!!!!!!!! NO!!!! Life is too short for spending a MINUTE with such people......Give yourself permission to get away from such people.....it's very freeing to put such people and their rude behavior in your rear view mirror....
julie


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## denvervet (Jun 4, 2012)

judihaven said:


> I went to an anger management seminar. If both people hold to their side there is a no win situation. If, however, you accept the "bad" or mistake, the other person looks like they won. They didn't really. The other person wants to win no matter what. As soon as you accept the responsibility, the hurt feelings are over. No does not make sense but keeps every one happy.


Well in a perfect world I agree, but I still go back to manners, apparently she has none or forgot the ones her parents taught her........and then you grow up! I was raised on the east coast in the 60's and 70's, manners were expected and not only that they were expected to be honed and consistant. That seems to have gone by the wayside in the past decade or two, but you know what, I still demand them. I think they call it "respect" today but they have the two concepts mixed up. IF, I do meet someone with good manners here in Denver I complement them and usually, sorry to say, they were raised on the east coast, wish that were not always true. I have also asked many many people here if they find the people have good manners and they always say yes.....so, even manners are a matter of opinion. I was in a wheelchair for several months, I just assumed after a while that no one would hold a door for me, get out of my way or help me in any way. They would use another door so they didn't have to hold my door. Its shameful. I guess the word "reasonability" would be a good word to keep in mind when dealing with people.


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## Mz Molly (May 31, 2012)

You don't demand respect, you earn it. That is a quote from somewhere.


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## Oma42 (May 10, 2012)

The rudeness and attitudes of people never cease to amaze me. It seems to me that us knitters/crocheters have to stand up for ourselves more. Re the plarn bag: get written specific instruction before agreeing to make anything for anyone. Treat it as a transaction not a "favor". Re: the huge guy who wants the sweater - give him an estimate of cost involved. I think he'll get the message really fast.
Stop letting people take you for granted, crafters!!


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## Teatime4granny (Apr 4, 2011)

I have been very lucky, My family receive the hand made gifts very well. When they were little, we all had to make one hand made gift, for every member of the family to open on Christmas eve. They learned early what it takes. When DD #2 goes went to a yard sale and saw an afghan, fairly expensive for yardsale, she bought it, I was finally able to teach her to crochet a couple years ago, My other two DD's don't crochet or knitt, but do other crafts.
As to what I would do, probably nothing, rudness is not in my nature, and of course I would have been hurt.....


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## price90210 (Jan 24, 2012)

I have had people make requests like this and I tell them they have to buy the yarn it would take and give them pattern options. Then I tell them how much I would charge which is never very much for my time and few of them keep asking. I had one women who wanted a specific afghan. She bought all the yarn plus paid me $200. She was so thrilled with it when I got it to her in record time.



Joy Marshall said:


> A man I know related by marriage wants me to knit him a sweater. While not tall he is extremely portly. Well, absolutely huge. I don't knit large items with cheap yarn. It isn't worth my time. In order to knit him a good wool sweater it would cost me about $200 and a couple of months of all the knitting time I have to spare. He made no mention of paying for the yarn nor, of course, did he realize the time involved. So far I have dodged answering him although he doesn't forget to keep asking. I don't want to hurt his feelings. I really don't have the time to take this on, nor want to invest that much money. I just don't know how to handle a situation like this.


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## DonnieK (Nov 23, 2011)

DonnieK said:


> I would have very sweetly said "No dear, I wrote down what you told me and the only specs you gave were regarding the strap" then I would have said, "Now you have a choice to make don't you? What I mean is, walk out the door, or be booted out the door! Oh, and please, don't ask me for another thing. Not even sugar!"


I do apoligize to everyone for this post. It was not the way to act or speak. However, I was so riled by that rude woman's actions I said the first thing that popped into my mind, which I often do.

I would really have smiled, taken the bag, looked it over real good and said, "Oh this was for someone else anyway, because you did not ask for the cell phone pocket, nor the inside pocket, so I can see now why you did not say "Thank you", this is not your bag!" Then I would have given her a hand ful of bags and say "Bless your heart, I am not going to have the time for awhile now as you were actually the last one to order and I have many ahead. Maybe you can learn to make one for yourself".


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## hoodedmaiden60 (Mar 16, 2011)

i would have told her to Bite me


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## Beve (May 5, 2012)

We always think of things to say after something like this happens, but truth is we are so amazed (more flabbergasted) when someone is ungrateful that we are tongue-tied! I am sorry for your friends lack of manners and you are to be commended for being so kind.


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## emw991995 (Oct 9, 2012)

I think the biggest problem here is that people who do not knit, have no idea how much time and effort goes into making a nice piece. I have had my daughter's friends flippingly say, "Hey, would you make me one of those hats?" I once gave a darling hat to a neighbor's child for no reason and the neighbor came back and asked if I would put a wider band on it so that it would come down further on her face. It is what it is and we all learn from being taken advantage of. Just make sure that you never leave yourself open to a "next time".


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## Marie Diane (Apr 12, 2012)

Hear, hear, use it yourself or give it to someome more deserving


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## rosespun (May 27, 2012)

I had a sis in law who put down my hobbies all the time. You know..waste of time, buy at Wally world much cheaper, etc. Then she saw my handwoven rugs and just screamed to have one. I ignored her for over a year and when my mum in law mentioned how much sil wanted one. I simply told her that I sold those for $40.00 a piece. She kinda gulped and nothing was ever said again.


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## Juleen (Jun 3, 2011)

Must be related to my former SIL! I asked her one day if she would like to go to lunch in the summer (I am a teacher). She looked me right in my eyes and said, "I live on a different social/economic level than you do. I wouldn't be seen with you!" Never bothered to ask her again for anything!


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## SAMkewel (Mar 5, 2011)

fergablu2 said:


> Gypsycream said:
> 
> 
> > You did more than she asked for and for no payment, she's rude and ungrateful! I would have laughed at her and just taken the bag back and told her you would save your waste plastic bags and give them back to her.
> ...


:~D!


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## Bobglory (Jul 30, 2012)

To be honest, I would have been too stunned by her response to reply anything. I would have thought of a hundred things to say later, each one getting nastier and nastier as my slow burn ramped up to an all out inferno. Then my poor husband would have had to hear it and hear it and hear it..... 

I have found that the only people that appreciate hand made are those that have taken the time to make things by hand, or those that have sat there night after night witnessing the time and effort involved in making creations from the heart. 

You can't fix stupid and your ungrateful acquaintance is truly beyond repair.


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## judyr (Feb 20, 2011)

Joy Marshall said:


> A man I know related by marriage wants me to knit him a sweater. While not tall he is extremely portly. Well, absolutely huge. I don't knit large items with cheap yarn. It isn't worth my time. In order to knit him a good wool sweater it would cost me about $200 and a couple of months of all the knitting time I have to spare. He made no mention of paying for the yarn nor, of course, did he realize the time involved. So far I have dodged answering him although he doesn't forget to keep asking. I don't want to hurt his feelings. I really don't have the time to take this on, nor want to invest that much money. I just don't know how to handle a situation like this.


He would not expect to have a job done without an estimate. The best tools are paper and pencil. Sit down with him and ask what kind of pattern (this will be (so many dollars) and what kind of yarn would he expect for you to make it out of (have him sit by computer while you go through the different yarn companies), tell him you will take his measurements (or have somebody else do it), calculate how long it would take to make sweater. Of course, you would write all this down for him and hand him the estimate of the time researching pattern, the pattern, the research for yarn, going to get yarn (gas and mileage or shipping), the actual time you spent knitting in writing. People think knitters can just sit down and blam - there you have a great sweater. No thought or preparation put into it. OR - you could just say, sorry, I could teach you how to knit a sweater for yourself (ha ha) or just say NO. I have used the last two approaches which are an automatic turn off for many people including women. Good luck.

My ex-mother-in-law did this to me. She wants a specific sweater, I had pattern, she gave me money for yarn, and I made the sweater. She did not like it. Probably never wore it. It was heart breaking. I never made anything for her again.


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## Bonidale (Mar 26, 2011)

My response when people respond like this when I've done something I think is nice and I don't get a thank you is, "You're welcome."


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## eneurian (May 4, 2011)

fergablu2 said:


> Gypsycream said:
> 
> 
> > You did more than she asked for and for no payment, she's rude and ungrateful! I would have laughed at her and just taken the bag back and told her you would save your waste plastic bags and give them back to her.
> ...


me too, i was confused momentarily by the w...i was expecting a 't'


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## taborhills (Sep 8, 2012)

DONT TRANSFER THE OXS LOAD TO THE COW

One has to think about ones problems personally, honestly, and genuinely. Transferring the oxs load to the cow, who is weaker than the ox, means not wanting to deal with anything on your own. In English, we call this passing the buck. But aren't we trying to cut down chaos and create less traffic in this confused world? We can invite other people to be our helpers -- as we do on this site -- but we cannot pass the buck to them. So I wont ultimately ever be able to transfer the oxs load to the cow. I myself am the ox! Blessings!


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## SAMkewel (Mar 5, 2011)

denvervet said:


> I would just not make anything for her again and if she asks you to THEN you can bring up her comment about the bag you made her and tell her how it made you feel. Sometimes we have to wait a long time for just the "perfect" moment to bring things up. Are you sure she is not from Denver? I live with and meet people like this all the time in Denver. Its a "me" world here. I grew up in the NYC area and I had to move here to meet really rude and mannerless people.


I'm sad to say that there appears to be really rude and mannerless people everywhere, and yes, it has become very much more a "me" world. I'm glad you had a better life experience in NYC; I've never been there--perhaps I need to relocate :~).


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## pennyyy (Sep 23, 2012)

:roll: sorry but what is a plars


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## LunaDragon (Sep 8, 2012)

I feel for you as well. It seems to me people play ignorant to how much of our lives are put into creating the miracle of the needles. Maybe you should trade time. Simply approach her with a "I put 15 hours of my life into this wonderful bag. Now I need some weeding done in my garden." 

I have a friend from China. He has taught me to value my time. Often we are giving our moments of life away with out compensation and are saddened by the ungratefulness that often comes with it. We are compensated in doing for charities because it gives us a sense of pride and helping those that can not help themselves. If we do not value our time no one else will. Valuing your time and setting a price either in gratitude or money (both are nice)is not wrong. 

We can not change how people act or how we feel but, we can change how we act apron those feelings, and learn to set a standard. You can choose to give a certain amount of leeway to people and then step in the standards after the first offense, but it seems the best way is to treat every one by the same standard so there is no miss understanding. Or hurt feelings.


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## pennyyy (Sep 23, 2012)

:roll: I meant to ask what is a plarn


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## saz (Oct 2, 2012)

just explain to him that he can buy one for a lot less than you can make one and he wont have to wait weeks for you to make it for him. he should get the message good luck


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## emw991995 (Oct 9, 2012)

People keep asking what Plarn is: Yarn created from plastic bags.


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## saz (Oct 2, 2012)

sorry, taborhills, I didn't understand a word of that


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## Juleen (Jun 3, 2011)

<<Plars>> I have no idea what Plars means! Please let me know--I'm baffled.


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## inishowen (May 28, 2011)

Slightly off subject, but my husband is a flying instructor. He often gets people say things like "if you ever need company I'll go up with you" or "any chance of a flight". They make no mention of payment, yet my husband has to pay for fuel and landing charges. He isn't as daft as they think, and doesn't give free flights unless it's someone he really likes.


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## AuntKnitty (Apr 10, 2011)

Joy Marshall said:


> A man I know related by marriage wants me to knit him a sweater. While not tall he is extremely portly. Well, absolutely huge. I don't knit large items with cheap yarn. It isn't worth my time. In order to knit him a good wool sweater it would cost me about $200 and a couple of months of all the knitting time I have to spare. He made no mention of paying for the yarn nor, of course, did he realize the time involved. So far I have dodged answering him although he doesn't forget to keep asking. I don't want to hurt his feelings. I really don't have the time to take this on, nor want to invest that much money. I just don't know how to handle a situation like this.


There is nothing wrong with just saying "No". You don't have to explain yourself and if asked to, just admit to not having the money for the yarn or the time for that.

I *might* do that for a friend, if he at least, paid for the yarn, but someone who is "related by marriage" doesn't get to ask for that much of my time. Either that or say "I'll gladly do that for $750 to cover the cost of the yarn and my time".

My insurance guy used to bug me all the time to knit socks for him. I kept declining to do so. One time, he offered me $20 and I told him that that might cover the cost of the yarn. I explained to him that a pair of socks would take between 30 - 40 hours to complete and asked him when the last time he worked for a week for $20 and told him that I would do that for $395 + the cost of the yarn. He's never asked again.

People who don't knit, don't get it. They don't understand how much good yarn costs and think since it looks like a "hobby", that we should just do it for shitz n giggles.


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## jangmb (Oct 27, 2011)

morningstar said:


> judihaven said:
> 
> 
> > At the end of all these comments is a lady with a daughter-in-law problem just like this. Prayer (don't want to preach) is the best thing because they have a broken spot in their heart.
> ...


Yes, I agree. Every one has been hurt, no one is immune - it is a condition of living. Yes, pray for them but don't let their inability to be civil be a negative to you. It is uncalled for that some people feel they can treat our kindness in such a rude manner. Their sense of entitlement know no end.


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## crjc (Jun 17, 2011)

Sarahwe said:


> I've been making plarn items recently - bags, hats, slippers - and an acquaintance asked how many plastic bags it would take to make a shoulder bag. A couple of weeks later, she brought me her stash of recycled bags, and asked me to make her a bag like one I had made for myself. She requested a specific length for the strap. I was finishing the bag while we were out of town, and couldn't remember the length she had specified, so I figured out how to create an adjustable strap that I knew would give her the length she wanted, plus a little more. I also put a pocket on the outside for her cell phone, and a size able pocket on the inside. All in all I had about 15 hours into the making of the bag, including making the plarn. I didn't expect to be paid, as we hadn't discussed price, but I did expect a gracious "thank you". Instead, she looked at the bag and said "didn't I ask you to make it deeper than this?" I was so surprised, I couldn't even think of a response. I had used all the bags she had given me, plus some I had in my plarn stash. I guess my feelings are a little hurt. How would you respond?


I know how you feel. It is easier for some people to criticize and be ungrateful than it is for them to praise and be thankful. I would just ignore her and not let it fester in my spirit. Put it down to her not knowing any better. That's the way I would console myself. Just know that you would not be making anything for her again. End of story.


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## Nana5 (Aug 17, 2011)

fergablu2 said:


> Direct your ungrateful acquaintance to this web page:
> 
> http://www.etsy.com/search?includes%5B0%5D=tags&q=plarn+bags&page=1
> 
> I would have kept the bag and told her to collect some more plastic bags for herself and make one exactly the way she wants it.


WOW....went to the site and was amazed at the cute items (I know it was suppose to be about the cost of the items)....I didn't realize that people were making things out of plastic bags and really cute things! Thanks for sharing the line and I agree that this person was very ungrateful and undeserving of something that requires so much work........


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## knottyknittershop (Mar 16, 2012)

fergablu2 said:


> Direct your ungrateful acquaintance to this web page:
> 
> http://www.etsy.com/search?includes%5B0%5D=tags&q=plarn+bags&page=1
> 
> I would have kept the bag and told her to collect some more plastic bags for herself and make one exactly the way she wants it.


I love this answer!


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## stephaniec (Jul 26, 2012)

I agree with all of the above. This sort of disgraceful behaviour is so unfortunate, I to would have taken the bag back. Steph. PS. You have every right to feel hurt and angry!


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## Dcsmith77 (Apr 18, 2011)

I think you owe it to yourself to ask him to purchase the yarn. When he finds out how much it is, he will probably give up on the sweater. If not, then the next step is to offer to teach him to knit. He doesn't have to knit the sweater, just a scarf or hat so he begins to understand what is involved. If he isn't willing to do this, then you can tactfully tell him that you are not willing to spend the time it will take from your life to knit for him. I that that is fair.



Joy Marshall said:


> A man I know related by marriage wants me to knit him a sweater. While not tall he is extremely portly. Well, absolutely huge. I don't knit large items with cheap yarn. It isn't worth my time. In order to knit him a good wool sweater it would cost me about $200 and a couple of months of all the knitting time I have to spare. He made no mention of paying for the yarn nor, of course, did he realize the time involved. So far I have dodged answering him although he doesn't forget to keep asking. I don't want to hurt his feelings. I really don't have the time to take this on, nor want to invest that much money. I just don't know how to handle a situation like this.


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## stephaniec (Jul 26, 2012)

I agree with all of the above. This sort of disgraceful behaviour is so unfortunate, I to would have taken the bag back. Steph. PS. You have every right to feel hurt and angry!


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## taborhills (Sep 8, 2012)

This has been an interesting discussion. There seem to have been two sides: 1) thinking and advising "what you should/could do," or "could do next time," and 2) thinking how to gain a better perspective on life in general from this or any experience.


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## SAMkewel (Mar 5, 2011)

inishowen said:


> Slightly off subject, but my husband is a flying instructor. He often gets people say things like "if you ever need company I'll go up with you" or "any chance of a flight". They make no mention of payment, yet my husband has to pay for fuel and landing charges. He isn't as daft as they think, and doesn't give free flights unless it's someone he really likes.


It's exactly the same here in the US. Here's a different twist on it, though. Our flight instructor expected to be able to use our airplane free of charge and even used it to give flight instruction to others after being specifically told not to do that. The aircraft was NOT insured for commercial use. He couldn't understand why pilots/aircraft owners have such a "weird attitude" about not wanting to share the airplane with others at no cost. I'd guess that would be because he had no investment in it, the owners did, and in our case, we worked long and hard to pay for the aircraft/insurance/hangar rental. Needless to say, we promptly reclaimed the key from his possession and sent him on his merry way.


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## Hazel Blumberg - McKee (Sep 9, 2011)

I think I'd've said, "Well, if you don't like it, I'd be glad to use it myself." Then NEVER knit anything for her again.

She was horribly rude!

Hazel


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## SAMkewel (Mar 5, 2011)

AuntKnitty said:


> Joy Marshall said:
> 
> 
> > A man I know related by marriage wants me to knit him a sweater. While not tall he is extremely portly. Well, absolutely huge. I don't knit large items with cheap yarn. It isn't worth my time. In order to knit him a good wool sweater it would cost me about $200 and a couple of months of all the knitting time I have to spare. He made no mention of paying for the yarn nor, of course, did he realize the time involved. So far I have dodged answering him although he doesn't forget to keep asking. I don't want to hurt his feelings. I really don't have the time to take this on, nor want to invest that much money. I just don't know how to handle a situation like this.
> ...


"Shitz n giggles" is a new one to me; it certainly gave me the giggles!


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## john71105 (Dec 23, 2011)

Sounds like we all need some general responses when we are asked to do things that require so much time and effort. 

Most non-knitters have no idea how much effort really goes into a hand made "gift". So, if asked for a project, depending on the degree of closeness in the relationship, I either explain what the pattern and the yarn will cost them and the cost of the hours of work (at least 3 times the cost of the yarn), or I may say I have too many other commitments.

My Granddaughter appreciates what I make. I take her to the yarn shop and then purchase her selections of yarn in the colors that she wants.


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## yarnawhile (Apr 9, 2012)

I agree with the others, take that bag back! Whenever someone asks me to make them something I tell them I have too many projects on my to do list. Then I offer to teach them to make it for themselves, works like a charm when they realize the time commitment involved. No apologies needed.


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## susannahp (Nov 7, 2011)

In this life there are takers and givers , YOU are the giver and this person is a taker , dont you wish you could reach out and smack her up the side of her head? I cannot tolerate ppl like her, its like they are owed everything , just mark it up to experience and dont stew about it as it will only cause more stress then you need, just vision her face, in your minds eye, as you hold her under the water chocking her....then you can continue on with your life!!!


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## nevadalynn (Apr 27, 2011)

said dryly: "you're welcome" and never make her another thing


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## Sarahwe (Apr 19, 2011)

motherdawg said:


> BTW can I see what it looks like?


Good morning, motherdawg - stupidly, I didn't take a picture of that particular bag. If you'll go to my profile, you'll find posts I've done with pictures of a coup,e of my other bags, as well as a sun hat and slippers.


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## LunaDragon (Sep 8, 2012)

LoL my dad uses shitz and giggles. For me knitting is not just my time. I have loss 20% of my extender muscles in my left hand (continental stitch is out). I have arthritis in both my hands and elbows, so my work is slow and often it takes me much longer to work out a piece of any thing. I create labors of love. I want my love to be given to deserving people. Also I can not knit what does not excite me. I admire every one who can knit what another ask for. If it is not something that excites me, it will sit forever, and be a UFO.


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## Hazel Blumberg - McKee (Sep 9, 2011)

nevadalynn said:


> said dryly: "you're welcome" and never make her another thing


Oh, yes!!!! This is an even better response!!!!!! It should, one hopes, make this nasty person feel bad.

Hazel


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## gma11331 (Oct 18, 2011)

Joy Marshall said:


> A man I know related by marriage wants me to knit him a sweater. While not tall he is extremely portly. Well, absolutely huge. I don't knit large items with cheap yarn. It isn't worth my time. In order to knit him a good wool sweater it would cost me about $200 and a couple of months of all the knitting time I have to spare. He made no mention of paying for the yarn nor, of course, did he realize the time involved. So far I have dodged answering him although he doesn't forget to keep asking. I don't want to hurt his feelings. I really don't have the time to take this on, nor want to invest that much money. I just don't know how to handle a situation like this.


Simple. Show him the yarn and the price, explain it will take x number of hours and ask him if he is willing to invest that much in the yarn....you'll supply the labor (if you feel like doing that).. Otherwise, just tell him sorry, you don't have the time for a project that "large."


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## Sarahwe (Apr 19, 2011)

Vignewood said:


> Have you ever had the experience of making something for someone, then having them come back when it is damaged and expect you to fix it? I have. Seems that if you made it, it is your responsibility forever sometimes.


GREAT! I hadn't even THOUGHT about that possibility!


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## Sarahwe (Apr 19, 2011)

mumpud said:


> I'm sorry your acquaintance didn't respond in a friendly manner. Tell her you're sorry it didn't meet her specs and suggest she learn to knit so she can make it the way she wants. One of the things I'm trying to do in my life is to respond as graciously as possible to rude people. This is not to be a doormat, but to rid myself of negative feelings. I believe the the kinder we are to others (especially the ride ones), the kinder gracious people will be to us. By the way, what is a 'plarc'? Is that the word?


 Mumpud, "plarn" is yarn made from recycled plastic grocery bags, or other bags of that type.


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## Sarahwe (Apr 19, 2011)

Heartigan said:


> It took you only 15 hours! My goodness you are talented. It takes me more than 15 hours to make the plarn much less do anything with it. Then my hands just ache before I have even crocheted anything. I think I would ask her for the bag back, saying that in describing "the bag" you have had many requests and that you need a sample for display. She might be so flattered, and gives back the bag... As to the replacing of her plastic bags... well I would just go to the pet store... buy her a roll of poo bags and call it even... They do come in bright colors... Sorry I am mean spirited this morning.!


Hartigan, your little apology for being "mean spirited this morning" really gave me a chuckle! Haven't we ALL had occasional "mean spirited" mornings? You're too cute!


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## Tennessee.Gal (Mar 11, 2012)

denvervet said:


> Tennessee.Gal said:
> 
> 
> > I would have taken the bag back! How rude! You were very generous to make it for an "acquaintance." I don't know that I would have made it for a friend.
> ...


It sure was. I have all the episodes and never get tired of watching. Can you imagine Hyacinth in a knitting group? LOL, she'd probably criticize everyone's choice of yarn and mention how much hers cost.


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## Friederike (Aug 26, 2011)

Often it seems that family, friends and aquaintances think they are doing you a favor by asking you to knit this, that or the other for them, all for free ofcourse. They say 'well, you like to knit, don't you?' I've had many requests over the years accompanied by comments like "I could keep you busy for years with things I want you to knit for me...." Not one has ever offered to buy the yarn, pattern and compensate me for the time spent knitting. I now just laugh and say that I'd be glad to teach them how to knit/crochet and that I think they'd really enjoy creating things for themselves. Not one has ever taken me up on that offer! Lot's of folks just think that, because it's a hobby, it's no big deal to ask. If you do knit for them, for free, then get kicked instead of thanked for it, well....ummm....(no further comment).... :?


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## donmaur (Mar 4, 2012)

knit it your self


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## Sarahwe (Apr 19, 2011)

Juleen said:


> <<Plars>> I have no idea what Plars means! Please let me know--I'm baffled.


Juleen, "plarn" is yarn made from recycled plastic grocery-type bags.


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## walkingagain (Mar 23, 2011)

I would have taken the bag, put a rock in it and hit her over the head! BEYOND rude!! I'm so sorry this happened to you; you deserve better.


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## trisha 54 (Feb 24, 2012)

I think she was absolutely rude and would have given her her bags back and a copy of the pattern and told her to make herself to her satisfaction


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## Violowl (Mar 4, 2012)

Sorry for your experience.

I had never heard of plarn...googled it and am definitely putting this on my to do list. Thanks for teaching me a new craft technique....looks really interesting.

Please post some of your projecs and hints or suggestions for using plarn.

Happier future knitting gifting experiences.


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## Tennessee.Gal (Mar 11, 2012)

EZ2 said:


> Some people's lack of manners is astounding. Where is Emily Post when you need her?


Emily Post 1872-1960


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## Sarahwe (Apr 19, 2011)

Violowl said:


> Sorry for your experience.
> 
> I had never heard of plarn...googled it and am definitely putting this on my to do list. Thanks for teaching me a new craft technique....looks really interesting.
> 
> ...


Good morning, violowl - if you go to my profile, you can see some pics I've posted of various plarn projects. It's been fun experimenting with it. I even used my spinning wheel to create a thinner yarn for the tops of the slippers I just finished.


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## Mz Molly (May 31, 2012)

My dear, you had every right to be upset. As the saying goes, it depends on what you do with afterwards. Coming to us was fine. I love your new answer. It made me smile.


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## sharmend (Feb 14, 2012)

Yep, I agree on taking it back! How RUDE RUDE RUDE! Of all the nerve. Does she even stop to think how much time and effort you put into making this "gift"? NOOO! Don't bother to ask me again, because it's never going to happen! Once is more than enough!


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## Mz Molly (May 31, 2012)

People aren't rude. They are people with a problem. Please we need to figive and get over it. Some of you are very over sensitive. Here we are complaining about her and go back and read some of the replys we have given. Are we any better than her? I think not.


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## slep119438 (Apr 23, 2011)

I can think of many rude responses to make to her rudeness, however you are clearly a nice person so do not lower yourself to her level. Just leave the bag, move on and do not ever make something for her again. Sadly there are many out there who have no appreciation of the time and talent it takes to make beautiful hand made articles.


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## hen (Jun 30, 2012)

I'd be upset too. In capital letters.
You were incredibly kind to do it for her in the first place.


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## Friederike (Aug 26, 2011)

Joy Marshall said:


> A man I know related by marriage wants me to knit him a sweater. While not tall he is extremely portly. Well, absolutely huge. I don't knit large items with cheap yarn. It isn't worth my time. In order to knit him a good wool sweater it would cost me about $200 and a couple of months of all the knitting time I have to spare. He made no mention of paying for the yarn nor, of course, did he realize the time involved. So far I have dodged answering him although he doesn't forget to keep asking. I don't want to hurt his feelings. I really don't have the time to take this on, nor want to invest that much money. I just don't know how to handle a situation like this.


Seriously, I'd tell him (invite him nicely but in no uncertain terms) that he HAS to go yarn shopping with you because you can't make that decision for him nor do you want to "surprise" him with yarn (in case he says "surprise me" ) If he takes you up on that offer, once in the store, I'd ask him if HE wants to buy the yarn now or think about it and come back to the store at HIS own convenience and purchase the yarn......Then I would be honest with him and let him know how long he'd have to wait for that sweater and I would be very very generous with the length of time quoted. I think once he sees what that sweater would cost HIM he, most likely, will change his mind.


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## junel (May 5, 2012)

And, how does one make plarn out of the plastic bags.... is there a tutorial on youtube?


Sarahwe said:


> Juleen said:
> 
> 
> > <<Plars>> I have no idea what Plars means! Please let me know--I'm baffled.
> ...


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## Annmilla (Apr 9, 2012)

I don't think non crafty people realise how many hours are put into projects
They are not interested in doing it themselves but are quite happy to let you know what they would like
I would not make her anything again
So ungrateful. 
Ann


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## Sarahwe (Apr 19, 2011)

junel said:


> And, how does one make plarn out of the plastic bags.... is there a tutorial on youtube?
> 
> 
> Sarahwe said:
> ...


There are TONS of tutorials on you tube - just search "plarn".


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## kathieb111 (May 18, 2011)

I'm sure my feelings would have been hurt also. But I've found that some people are rude and have absolutely no idea what it takes to "make" something out of "nothing". Don't stress about people who do not deserve room in your heart.


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## margaret23 (Mar 19, 2011)

I think I might say "I could show you how to make the bag to your specifications. Just bring the bags over and I can get you started."


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## Joanne Hyde (Jul 8, 2011)

I was not aware of plarn knitting. I went in on the site someone put in their note. I was very impressed with what I saw. I am sure you aew an excellent knitter and your "friend" doesn't do any hand work.
I am not asking for the directions but could you ar someone briefly explain how you do it. 
Would like to see some of yor work.


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## glnwhi (Jan 19, 2011)

tell her it would make a really good hat and pull it down over her head lol no I am teasing we cant do things like that but sometimes we would like to.Just chalk it up to experience for you and lack of manners for her.You are a nice lady to do that for someone.


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## Linda6885 (Feb 13, 2011)

Just one of the many,(sadly) that expect something for nothing. I may have responded, " Sorry, it doesn't meet your expectations. You know I sell these for $25, I'm sure I can get my money out of it, since you don't want it."


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## Sarahwe (Apr 19, 2011)

Joanne Hyde said:


> I was not aware of plarn knitting. I went in on the site someone put in their note. I was very impressed with what I saw. I am sure you aew an excellent knitter and your "friend" doesn't do any hand work.
> I am not asking for the directions but could you ar someone briefly explain how you do it.
> Would like to see some of yor work.


Good morning, Joanne - 
I have pics posted under my profile here on KP that show a few of the things I've done with plarn. The items I've done so far have been done in crochet. There is more than one way to cut the bags to make plarn - you tube has many tutorial videos. I cut off the handles and seamed bottom of the bags, then cut them into narrow rounds (cutting from side to side of the bags, so that I'm getting an unbroken round for each strip, like a rubber band), then join the rounds together just like we did as kids when we would string rubber bands together. The resulting yarn is easier to work with if the strips are "stressed" so they lose some of their stiffness, so I first wind the strips into a center pull ball around my thumb, stretching them a bit as I go. This relaxes the strips more so they work up a little more like yarn. It's kind of a fun process!


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## mirl56 (Dec 20, 2011)

junel said:


> And, how does one make plarn out of the plastic bags.... is there a tutorial on youtube?
> 
> 
> Sarahwe said:
> ...


Here is how I've made plarn.





I have also seen where the plastic bag is cut into 1-2" strips and knit/crocheted with that.


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## Ingried (Sep 23, 2011)

Collect bags and give them to her and ask for your bag back.

I no longer have any patience with folks like that.


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## Juleen (Jun 3, 2011)

I just say "I loved to knit a (fill in the blank) for you, but, I only knit for my favorite charity", which is true.


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## louisglenda (Aug 31, 2011)

Some people just do not know the time and effort that goes in to making these things..she is so rude steer well clear of her
can I add I was once asked to replace a zip in a pair of jeans..it took me ages and I mean ages to un pick the old one as it was oversewn so much ..I did put in the zip and when she asked me how much I wanted I said oh just the cost of the zip which was 50 pence [uk money] thinking she will give me a bit more surely
she gave me 50 pence!! a lesson learned


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## Yarnie.One (Jul 13, 2012)

Joy Marshall said:


> A man I know related by marriage wants me to knit him a sweater. While not tall he is extremely portly. Well, absolutely huge. I don't knit large items with cheap yarn. It isn't worth my time. In order to knit him a good wool sweater it would cost me about $200 and a couple of months of all the knitting time I have to spare. He made no mention of paying for the yarn nor, of course, did he realize the time involved. So far I have dodged answering him although he doesn't forget to keep asking. I don't want to hurt his feelings. I really don't have the time to take this on, nor want to invest that much money. I just don't know how to handle a situation like this.


You might just talk to him about it frankly -- though gently -- the next time he brings it up.

Tell him you've looked into it, and the yarn you'd choose would cost you about $200. Tell him how much yarn it would take and suggest that he look for something he'd like -- but not buy it yet. Stress that "not" part. That alone might stop him.

Also, during this discussion, mention about how many hours -- a specific number of hours as well as how many months -- that it would take. Tell him that you could make several smaller items in that amount of time -- including several children's hats and mittens or baby blankets for charity. Ask him if he'd rather have a nice scarf or hat instead.

If he persists, about the sweater, even knowing how many hours it would take, suggest again that he price -- but not buy -- the yarn. That might make him settle on something smaller.

If he still insists that he wants a sweater, remind him that you mentioned making him a smaller project so that you could devote more time to charity work for people who need things to keep them warm -- with a gentle emphasis on the word need.

If he says anything about others that you make sweaters for, point out that those items aren't quite so large as his would be required to be and that you work on those things as special gifts -- working on them mostly between the charity items you make.

If by then he doesn't get the drift, you may need to tell him that you'll think about it -- that perhaps you could put it on your list of things to do between chairty projects.

Anything about a sweater after that, remind him that it's on your list -- and let him know how many charity items you've made for people who need things.


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## gclemens (Feb 18, 2012)

I would simply take the bag back, say nothing, walk away and not speak with her again. She isn't a person worthy of your work or time.


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## nannyberfa (Oct 9, 2011)

Oh my!! I would have been floored and taken the bag back. And would have said,"Beggars cant be choosers"


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## Stephhy (May 14, 2012)

Sarahwe said:


> I've been making plarn items recently - bags, hats, slippers - and an acquaintance asked how many plastic bags it would take to make a shoulder bag. A couple of weeks later, she brought me her stash of recycled bags, and asked me to make her a bag like one I had made for myself. She requested a specific length for the strap. I was finishing the bag while we were out of town, and couldn't remember the length she had specified, so I figured out how to create an adjustable strap that I knew would give her the length she wanted, plus a little more. I also put a pocket on the outside for her cell phone, and a size able pocket on the inside. All in all I had about 15 hours into the making of the bag, including making the plarn. I didn't expect to be paid, as we hadn't discussed price, but I did expect a gracious "thank you". Instead, she looked at the bag and said "didn't I ask you to make it deeper than this?" I was so surprised, I couldn't even think of a response. I had used all the bags she had given me, plus some I had in my plarn stash. I guess my feelings are a little hurt. How would you respond?


I would have gone to my stash and given her a bunch of plastic. Saying something like, "Well, sorry, but I like it so here you are." What a dink.


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## Carole-Jayne (Sep 24, 2012)

Am I the only one who doesn't know what a "plarn" is???? is it a type or an actual thing????


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## nannyberfa (Oct 9, 2011)

I dont have a clue, what a plarn is?


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## Stephhy (May 14, 2012)

fergablu2 said:


> Gypsycream said:
> 
> 
> > You did more than she asked for and for no payment, she's rude and ungrateful! I would have laughed at her and just taken the bag back and told her you would save your waste plastic bags and give them back to her.
> ...


I don't think it's rude, either.... and after I finished chuckling I thought "what a nice person this must be".


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## hersh (Nov 7, 2011)

Joy Marshall said:


> A man I know related by marriage wants me to knit him a sweater. While not tall he is extremely portly. Well, absolutely huge. I don't knit large items with cheap yarn. It isn't worth my time. In order to knit him a good wool sweater it would cost me about $200 and a couple of months of all the knitting time I have to spare. He made no mention of paying for the yarn nor, of course, did he realize the time involved. So far I have dodged answering him although he doesn't forget to keep asking. I don't want to hurt his feelings. I really don't have the time to take this on, nor want to invest that much money. I just don't know how to handle a situation like this.


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## hersh (Nov 7, 2011)

I don't want to hurt his feelings. I really don't have the time to take this on, nor want to invest that much money. You answered it ..........just deliver.....If you stand up for yourself.........who will??????


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## Joanne Hyde (Jul 8, 2011)

Renee,
I went on utube and found it fasinating. 
Also I recieved a gift of ribbon to make something. I had no idea how to tie them but now think I can do it.
Thank you for your note.


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## mtsharon (Apr 23, 2012)

I would definitely have taken it back and told her I was going to give it to someone who would be more grateful.



Tennessee.Gal said:


> I would have taken the bag back! How rude! You were very generous to make it for an "acquaintance." I don't know that I would have made it for a friend.
> 
> If it makes you feel any better, many of us have experienced similar responses over knitted/crocheted gifts that took weeks to make. To me, it isn't so much the cost of materials but the time and care involved.


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## Geri D (Oct 4, 2012)

Poor you. It never ceases to amaze me that some folks can be so rude


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## mombr4 (Apr 21, 2011)

Gypsycream said:


> You did more than she asked for and for no payment, she's rude and ungrateful! I would have laughed at her and just taken the bag back and told her you would save your waste plastic bags and give them back to her.
> 
> Ungrateful c*w!!!


I totally agree, I would have taken it back and told her you would replace the bags she gave you, then she could take the bags and make one herself.

Knowing me if I saw her again I would still ask for the bag back. She doesn't deserve to have it.

How rude.


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## magnoliamouth (Oct 7, 2012)

I totally agree with the tactful response Razzemerry suggested: Find a pattern you like, purchase the materials necessasry, and I'd be pleased to create the item, ma'am.

A response I learned from my very wise son, when someone lashes out rudely: he looks the person in the eyes and respnds. "I'm sorry you feel that way." That is true maturity


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## Sarahwe (Apr 19, 2011)

CaROLE-JAYNE said:


> Am I the only one who doesn't know what a "plarn" is???? is it a type or an actual thing????


"Plarn" is yarn made from recycled plastic grocery-type bags. There are many you tube video tutorials demonstrating different methods of making and working with plarn. 
I have pics posted under my profile here on KP that show a few of the things I've done with plarn. The items I've done so far have been done in crochet. There is more than one way to cut the bags to make plarn - check you tube. I cut off the handles and seamed bottom of the bags, then cut them into narrow rounds (cutting from side to side of the bags, so that I'm getting an unbroken round for each strip, like a rubber band), then join the rounds together just like we did as kids when we would string rubber bands together. The resulting yarn is easier to work with if the strips are "stressed" so they lose some of their stiffness, so I first wind the strips into a center pull ball around my thumb, stretching them a bit as I go. This relaxes the strips more so they work up a little more like yarn. It's kind of a fun process!


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## Sarahwe (Apr 19, 2011)

nannyberfa said:


> I dont have a clue, what a plarn is?


"Plarn" is yarn made from recycled plastic grocery-type bags. You tube has many tutorials demonstrating different methods of making and working with plarn. 
I have pics posted under my profile here on KP that show a few of the things I've done with plarn. The items I've done so far have been done in crochet. There is more than one way to cut the bags to make plarn - check you tube. I cut off the handles and seamed bottom of the bags, then cut them into narrow rounds (cutting from side to side of the bags, so that I'm getting an unbroken round for each strip, like a rubber band), then join the rounds together just like we did as kids when we would string rubber bands together. The resulting yarn is easier to work with if the strips are "stressed" so they lose some of their stiffness, so I first wind the strips into a center pull ball around my thumb, stretching them a bit as I go. This relaxes the strips more so they work up a little more like yarn. It's kind of a fun process!


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## Toby's Mom (Dec 8, 2011)

Sarahwe said:


> I've been making plarn items recently - bags, hats, slippers - and an acquaintance asked how many plastic bags it would take to make a shoulder bag. A couple of weeks later, she brought me her stash of recycled bags, and asked me to make her a bag like one I had made for myself. She requested a specific length for the strap. I was finishing the bag while we were out of town, and couldn't remember the length she had specified, so I figured out how to create an adjustable strap that I knew would give her the length she wanted, plus a little more. I also put a pocket on the outside for her cell phone, and a size able pocket on the inside. All in all I had about 15 hours into the making of the bag, including making the plarn. I didn't expect to be paid, as we hadn't discussed price, but I did expect a gracious "thank you". Instead, she looked at the bag and said "didn't I ask you to make it deeper than this?" I was so surprised, I couldn't even think of a response. I had used all the bags she had given me, plus some I had in my plarn stash. I guess my feelings are a little hurt. How would you respond?


I would respond by saying: "Well, it was made from the exact stash you gave me, plus added goodies, but if you don't like it, it's okay, don't worry, I'll go ahead and keep it, after all I spent quite a bit of time on it and I know I can use it as it is." Then I would drop the issue and INDEED KEEP IT! Unless she begged to keep it!.


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## colonialcat (Dec 22, 2011)

I just ignore people like that I know one like that and I do avoid getting to involved with her if possible . They think they are always right and are insensitive to others feelings.So avoid her like a like an unwanted fire if possible. Be sweet to her face but other wise don't seek her out for any reason.


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## Laura R (Apr 14, 2011)

The ladies have given lots of good advice. I may be able to help too: Many years ago a wise man told me, when I got into an uncomfortable situation, wanted out and knew what I wanted, to always begin the exchange with, "I've decided..." That doesn't leave either Ms. Ungrateful or Mr. Fatso much wiggle room. You may have to repeat it but I guarantee, it works.


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## colonialcat (Dec 22, 2011)

I would say sorry I just don't have the time or money for such a large item as a sweater for you nor are there any patterns that large. there are people we do have to be sweetly blunt with saying it all with a sweet smile on your face. Even then some don't get the message then a no should be sufficient to them. I refuse to make things for others, I tell them I do lap robes for charity to sick and shut ins for my church pastor to give to them and for a Veterans hospital not for any one else.


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## Carole-Jayne (Sep 24, 2012)

Well there you go - yet another thing I didn't know!!! Thanks for the info - amazing!


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## cezaragoza (Sep 4, 2011)

I'm sooo sorry. "I thought a shallow bag would suit you better." - How's that?


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## scottish granny (Oct 9, 2012)

Oh dear, I don't know what a plarn is.


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## scottish granny (Oct 9, 2012)

oops just saw the above descriptions. Thanks.


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## gramm27 (Oct 22, 2011)

The rudeness you experienced is just an example of how this world of ours is turning. I see much rudeness and ungratefulness during the day. I don't understand why this is happening except that many people are stressed with world affairs, lost jobs, high prices etc. Hang in there and learn from this experience. Quote a price and see if the person really wants a bag that you work hard on.


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## scottish granny (Oct 9, 2012)

New to the site. How do I find some pics of the plarn?


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## scottish granny (Oct 9, 2012)

New to the site. How do I find some pics of the plarn?


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## Dsynr (Jun 3, 2011)

I'd tell her to her face how rude her remark was after I had made something for her; and the next time she wanted handmade, she could just bloody make it herself!

See why I don't make stuff when people ask?
1. They don't supply sufficient [fill in the blank]
2. They don't want to pay you properly for your time/work.
3. They have the attitude that you should be anxious to make something for them and take their crap over the finished project, no matter how much work went into it.
4. They love to badmouth you over the finished project, especially if they have to pay for the supplies and/or the work.


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## Ginny K (Jun 1, 2011)

People need to be told sometimes and we are just too nice. Something like, "I'm sorry, I used all your bags and some of mine, spent about 15+ hours on it using my time and talent. Do you want it or shall I give it to someone else?" Who needs people like that! AAK, now I'm irritated.


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## Dsynr (Jun 3, 2011)

Baby, JUST SAY NO!!!!
:!:


Joy Marshall said:


> A man I know related by marriage wants me to knit him a sweater. While not tall he is extremely portly. Well, absolutely huge. I don't knit large items with cheap yarn. It isn't worth my time. In order to knit him a good wool sweater it would cost me about $200 and a couple of months of all the knitting time I have to spare. He made no mention of paying for the yarn nor, of course, did he realize the time involved. So far I have dodged answering him although he doesn't forget to keep asking. I don't want to hurt his feelings. I really don't have the time to take this on, nor want to invest that much money. I just don't know how to handle a situation like this.


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## Dimples16 (Jan 28, 2011)

How rude of that person. I would have said to her you don't like it I do and now it is mine. I would also tell her to never expect you to make anything for her again.


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## msacco53 (Nov 26, 2011)

And I suppose this all is what Jesus said when they stoned him, when they crucified Him. Wake up folks. This kind of stuff just breeds discontent. Don't we have enough of it in this world. UGH!


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## Ginny K (Jun 1, 2011)

msacco53 said:


> And I suppose this all is what Jesus said when they stoned him, when they crucified Him. Wake up folks. This kind of stuff just breeds discontent. Don't we have enough of it in this world. UGH!


Jesus stood up for himself, remember the money changers in the temple?
We too can be good people and still stand up for ourselves, Jesus did not say we had to be doormats!


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## Sarahwe (Apr 19, 2011)

scottish granny said:


> New to the site. How do I find some pics of the plarn?


You tube has many tutorials demonstrating different methods of making and working with plarn. 
I have pics posted under my profile here on KP that show a few of the things I've done with plarn. The items I've done so far have been done in crochet. There is more than one way to cut the bags to make plarn - check you tube. I cut off the handles and seamed bottom of the bags, then cut them into narrow rounds (cutting from side to side of the bags, so that I'm getting an unbroken round for each strip, like a rubber band), then join the rounds together just like we did as kids when we would string rubber bands together. The resulting yarn is easier to work with if the strips are "stressed" so they lose some of their stiffness, so I first wind the strips into a center pull ball around my thumb, stretching them a bit as I go. This relaxes the strips more so they work up a little more like yarn. It's kind of a fun process!


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## Carole-Jayne (Sep 24, 2012)

I actually *had* a Scottish Granny - so welcome! I just went into Google and googled the word plarn ---- and there it is. Gotta luv Goggle.
ATB
CJ


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## RachelL (Dec 18, 2011)

smontero237 said:


> I think I would have told her if she didn't like it I would take it back to give to someone who would appreciate it. Then take it!


Perfect!


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## colleend2006 (Aug 25, 2012)

Thats a very good answer, I am going to say that too!


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## Damama (Oct 2, 2011)

I have a friend who last year told me that her ears get so cold at night that she needed a hat. She didn't ask me to make her one, but I did and gave it to her. She told me how much she liked it and how warm it kept her ears. Yesterday I found an ear warmer that I had made as an experiment, it turned out nice and snug and would stay comfortably over the ears. She said oh I don't need an ear warmer to sleep in, only the wind bothers my ears. I told her that this would work great for outside, too. She just looked at me. Then said she never told me she needed something for her ears at night.So guess what, nothing off my needles will ever be hers again. 
Yes she is my friend and I know she is going through some issues right now, but.......


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## RachelL (Dec 18, 2011)

Laura R said:


> The ladies have given lots of good advice. I may be able to help too: Many years ago a wise man told me, when I got into an uncomfortable situation, wanted out and knew what I wanted, to always begin the exchange with, "I've decided..." That doesn't leave either Ms. Ungrateful or Mr. Fatso much wiggle room. You may have to repeat it but I guarantee, it works.


Great advice. :thumbup: :thumbup:

I had a friend who was once invited for lunch and stayed for tea and way past dinner time as well. She saw the argyle vest I had knitted for my daughter and kept telling me how she would soooooo love to have one too. After her telling me a few times (I didn't respond), I told her I would be pleased to give her the pattern and she could knit it for herself. Never heard another word and she was never invited again. And she didn't take the pattern.


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## Mz Molly (May 31, 2012)

No, Jesus did not want us to be doormants. He wanted us to be servants. Servants don't talk back. They are humble. When Jesus was on the cross one of the last examples he have us was, "Father, forgive them." Can we do any less? MSACC053 You have the right attitude. When Jesus was in the temple, he was in a holy place that was being desicrated. Not even close to the same thing. Being rude to some rude, is ruder. Jesus said forgive 70 x 70. I don't mean to preach but you asked for it.


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## Mz Molly (May 31, 2012)

Ok folks, on to the next topic. This horse has been more than beat to death. 

Go to new topics and see my new topic.


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## Carole-Jayne (Sep 24, 2012)

I LOVE the moving picture of your dog!!!!! How cool is that!


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## knity66nut (Feb 27, 2011)

Rude doesn't even begin to say it. As far as dodging people who want an item made I think some of the ideas above are on target. There are not many of us who can afford $200 for yarn for another individual. In fact I would have to be totally in love to spend that much on yarn for anything. The suggestion to the portly gentleman sounds good too...go ahead and purchase the yarn and pattern and I will work on it when I have time. People who do this really don't have a clue the time involved and they should. Perhaps mentioning the time element involved will help solve the problem and yes achey hands can be as good excuse too. Good luck to all.


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## Jolanda (Sep 29, 2012)

Joy Marshall said:


> A man I know related by marriage wants me to knit him a sweater. While not tall he is extremely portly. Well, absolutely huge. I don't knit large items with cheap yarn. It isn't worth my time. In order to knit him a good wool sweater it would cost me about $200 and a couple of months of all the knitting time I have to spare. He made no mention of paying for the yarn nor, of course, did he realize the time involved. So far I have dodged answering him although he doesn't forget to keep asking. I don't want to hurt his feelings. I really don't have the time to take this on, nor want to invest that much money. I just don't know how to handle a situation like this.


You have probably heard this before, but my answer is always, "you go buy the pattern and the yarn, or we can go shopping together, and I will make it for you when I have a chance, it will take x number of hours."
That way they realize how expensive it is to do this. The ones that want it, will do exactly that. It has worked for me, it saves a lot of hassle. 
Good luck


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## janwalla (Jul 17, 2012)

Joy Marshall said:


> A man I know related by marriage wants me to knit him a sweater. While not tall he is extremely portly. Well, absolutely huge. I don't knit large items with cheap yarn. It isn't worth my time. In order to knit him a good wool sweater it would cost me about $200 and a couple of months of all the knitting time I have to spare. He made no mention of paying for the yarn nor, of course, did he realize the time involved. So far I have dodged answering him although he doesn't forget to keep asking. I don't want to hurt his feelings. I really don't have the time to take this on, nor want to invest that much money. I just don't know how to handle a situation like this.


I would suggest he buys the wool he likes and a pattern because there is so much to choose from you not sure what he would like!


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## Momma Osa (May 1, 2011)

She is the unappreciative one. You have a beautiful spirit. Don't allow her to hurt your feelings. She's ignorant. I would have taken it back too.

Momma Osa


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## machriste (Jan 26, 2011)

I don't even think you need to give return the # of plastic bags she gave you; the ones you used are minimal compensation for you're time. I hope you enjoy the bag yourself.

I like the response to requests someone gave a while ago: "I'd would be happy to refer you to a [class, book, pattern]so you can make one yourself."


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## kaixixang (Jul 16, 2012)

I merely offer possibilities to a church member who has actually purchased a few socks from me. He gets to look at the other natural and acrylic/artificial fibers and doesn't have to get more until the 3-4 pair of worsted weight boot socks starts to get worn down.

It IS frustrating when the person who is wanting a pair or an outfit doesn't appreciate your work.


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## ayjay (Apr 3, 2011)

Don't ya just love it!
I had a Sister-in-law like that. Finally I just quit trying to satisfy her and said to her rather bluntly, "Do you want it or not?" If not there are others that do, so it is no problem for me. I sold 3 things that I made for her and she didn't want it after I put all that time in making it. One day she had a change in heart and asked where is ******, I said I sold it, you didn't want it. That fixed that... Hope you don't have to be that drastic, but some people are never satisfied, no mater how hard you worked. Don't let her or people like her get you down. You know how much you are worth, if not we do.


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## scottishlass (Jul 12, 2012)

This proves the old saying "No Good Deed goes Unpunished" that was very ungracious of her Just don't let it get to you
It was very nice of you to do it in the first place Don't do anything else for this nasty person


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## czechmate (Jun 17, 2011)

think I would have said yes I can fix that !!! taking out scissors cutting the bottom off,and say is this deep enough.......15 hrs of your time ,you can do what you want.


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## breeze075 (May 12, 2012)

czechmate said:


> think I would have said yes I can fix that !!! taking out scissors cutting the bottom off,and say is this deep enough.......15 hrs of your time ,you can do what you want.


Oooo! I like this one!!!!


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## hersh (Nov 7, 2011)

czechmate said:


> think I would have said yes I can fix that !!! taking out scissors cutting the bottom off,and say is this deep enough.......15 hrs of your time ,you can do what you want.


Girl.....you are good!


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## Pegomyheart (Aug 13, 2012)

I would let her know that you did your very best to fulfill her request. Then I would suggest that she not ask you to do any other items for her since you cannot satisfy her. I would not just let it pass. But that's how I get myself into trouble sometimes. I don't appreciate being taken for granted.


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## theyarnlady (Feb 25, 2011)

Sarahwe said:


> I've been making plarn items recently - bags, hats, slippers - and an acquaintance asked how many plastic bags it would take to make a shoulder bag. A couple of weeks later, she brought me her stash of recycled bags, and asked me to make her a bag like one I had made for myself. She requested a specific length for the strap. I was finishing the bag while we were out of town, and couldn't remember the length she had specified, so I figured out how to create an adjustable strap that I knew would give her the length she wanted, plus a little more. I also put a pocket on the outside for her cell phone, and a size able pocket on the inside. All in all I had about 15 hours into the making of the bag, including making the plarn. I didn't expect to be paid, as we hadn't discussed price, but I did expect a gracious "thank you". Instead, she looked at the bag and said "didn't I ask you to make it deeper than this?" I was so surprised, I couldn't even think of a response. I had used all the bags she had given me, plus some I had in my plarn stash. I guess my feelings are a little hurt. How would you respond?


I would have been so hurt, I would have just said do you know who much work I put into this, and your remarkes where unkind.


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## theyarnlady (Feb 25, 2011)

czechmate said:


> think I would have said yes I can fix that !!! taking out scissors cutting the bottom off,and say is this deep enough.......15 hrs of your time ,you can do what you want.


 :XD: :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## Pegomyheart (Aug 13, 2012)

I have had similar situations where I have made gifts for grandchildren. I had one granddaughter who seemed to not care a whit for what I made. My husband has had similar situations with wood crafts he has made. So we just take note of which grandkids don't care and they get a few dollars for gifts. The ones who care and appreciate get the hand crafted items that are worth a great deal more and made with love.


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## Pegomyheart (Aug 13, 2012)

czechmate said:


> think I would have said yes I can fix that !!! taking out scissors cutting the bottom off,and say is this deep enough.......15 hrs of your time ,you can do what you want.


I like this one best of all.


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## SAMkewel (Mar 5, 2011)

Ingried said:


> Collect bags and give them to her and ask for your bag back.
> 
> I no longer have any patience with folks like that.


We certainly agree on that! When I was young I had "endless" patience and forgiveness; somewhere along the way I burned out, got up off the floor, and stopped being a pleaser of those who cannot be pleased. I thought people mellowed with age (???). Perhaps it works that way only if one starts out with a negative attitude, I haven't figured that out yet.


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## CAS50 (Mar 26, 2012)

I'm sorry this happened to you. My feelings would be deeply hurt.

On the bright side, I learned about plarn, and I'm excited to find a new project to try.

So thank you for sharing, and for making her a bag. (I agree you should take it back and give her bags in exchange.)


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## Karen K Turner (May 17, 2011)

When I am requested to make any item I tell people I only make things for people that love me.


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## RachelL (Dec 18, 2011)

judihaven said:


> No, Jesus did not want us to be doormants. He wanted us to be servants. Servants don't talk back. They are humble. When Jesus was on the cross one of the last examples he have us was, "Father, forgive them." Can we do any less? MSACC053 You have the right attitude. When Jesus was in the temple, he was in a holy place that was being desicrated. Not even close to the same thing. Being rude to some rude, is ruder. Jesus said forgive 70 x 70. I don't mean to preach but you asked for it.


Judi: A servant is not a slave; they have the right to reason with their master/boss. Even God tells us to come and reason with Him. You correctly state what He did in the Temple, but you left out when He called the leaders snakes and children of their father, the devil. Scripture very plainly tells us if we have been hurt to go and make it right with the person who has offended us before we come to the alter. Not every issue needs to be addressed, but when we feel we should, we need to be very gracious when speaking to someone who has hurt us. Sometimes people need to know that their behaviour is not acceptable. Otherwise how do they know their behaviour/attitude is not OK? lol


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## 5mmdpns (Jun 1, 2011)

Joy Marshall said:


> A man I know related by marriage wants me to knit him a sweater. While not tall he is extremely portly. Well, absolutely huge. I don't knit large items with cheap yarn. It isn't worth my time. In order to knit him a good wool sweater it would cost me about $200 and a couple of months of all the knitting time I have to spare. He made no mention of paying for the yarn nor, of course, did he realize the time involved. So far I have dodged answering him although he doesn't forget to keep asking. I don't want to hurt his feelings. I really don't have the time to take this on, nor want to invest that much money. I just don't know how to handle a situation like this.


Joy, you have to sit down with him and teach him to knit a stitch. One stitch with some waste yarn is all it would take. Now go and take him to the yarn shop and talk yarn to him and let him choose what yarn he wants to buy to knit the sweater. Make sure he understands that the better yarn makes a nicer sweater and then help him choose the pattern he wants. Now then, tell him that you have taught him how to knit and he can just go to it! You will show him how to purl when he needs to do that when the instructions call for it. Pat the guy on his back and wish him well.


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## vdriggers (Oct 3, 2012)

There are people in this world cannot appreciate anything, and as I am predisposed to sardonic wit, I would has said, "I worked very hard on this and I'm glad you like it."


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## 5mmdpns (Jun 1, 2011)

RachelL said:


> judihaven said:
> 
> 
> > No, Jesus did not want us to be doormants. He wanted us to be servants. Servants don't talk back. They are humble. When Jesus was on the cross one of the last examples he have us was, "Father, forgive them." Can we do any less? MSACC053 You have the right attitude. When Jesus was in the temple, he was in a holy place that was being desicrated. Not even close to the same thing. Being rude to some rude, is ruder. Jesus said forgive 70 x 70. I don't mean to preach but you asked for it.
> ...


dont cast your pearls before swine. Dont give her the bag.


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## wolfmom6712 (Sep 16, 2012)

mirl56 said:


> Some people are just so rude.
> 
> She requested a certain strap length, but did she ask for more/less depth then yours? Sounds like she got nicer then she asked for.
> 
> Tell her you'll keep that one and make her another if she makes the plarn. I've made it myself and it's time consuming!


I agree with Mirl. She just doesn't understand the time it takes to make plarn! If she doesn't want to make the plarn, tell her the next one WILL cost her!


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## BernieI (Oct 1, 2012)

I usually suggest to people with no class and no clue to simply donate the item to Goodwill if it does not suit. And you are perfectly correct it was rude.


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## wolfmom6712 (Sep 16, 2012)

julielacykntr said:


> Explain to her that you did this w/o compensation, that it took 15 hours to make, and that you were glad to do so, BUT that being specific instructions were not given, and you feel she is unappreciative of your time and work, that you prefer not to knit for her in the future. Say this graciously w/another present (validation against gossip). You do not want to become, or act the person that you don't want to be, and obviously are not; you are obviously talented, kind, thoughtful and a giving friend. :thumbup:


 :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## RachelL (Dec 18, 2011)

5mmdpns said:


> RachelL said:
> 
> 
> > judihaven said:
> ...


I totally agree with you.


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## RachelL (Dec 18, 2011)

vdriggers said:


> There are people in this world cannot appreciate anything, and as I am predisposed to sardonic wit, I would has said, "I worked very hard on this and I'm glad you like it."


You are one smart cookie!!


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## trolleystation (Jun 22, 2011)

Grandma Laurie hit the nail on the head. I would have kept the bag and given her an IOU for her bags. Who needs an acquaintance like that?? There are certainly a lot of people out there who haven't got a clue about crafting or the work that goes into it.

PS She is probably going to 'mean mouth' you about the construction of the bag. You just cannot win.


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## xta018 (Dec 27, 2011)

I guess that I would have given her the pattern and told her you would show her how to o it an then she could make it exactly like she wanted. Oh - and I would have kept the bag for a gift to someone that would really appreciate your effort.


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## wolfmom6712 (Sep 16, 2012)

An aside: I learned to make plarn when my church group decided our summer project would be to make mats for a local homeless shelter to give out. They clean easily, dry easily, and the bugs won't eat them. I was so taken with the idea that I made 5 of the 10 we donated! Even got into a little "designing" with certain colored store bags! Sunday school was spent making the plarn, then I would crochet them up. I put a lot of pressure on myself, but luckily, everyone involved knew the time and effort that went into it, and it was appreciated!


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## Evie RM (Sep 19, 2012)

I would exactly to him what you expalined in your comments. Tell him it is only worth the time it takes to make a quality garment with quality yarn that costs sometimes more than what you could purchase a sweater for in the store. Tell him if he wants to purchase the yarn of his choice in the quantity the sweater would take you would be happy to make it for him and then I would tell him approximately how many hours it would take. Tell him that you think a reasonable compensatiion for your time would only be fair and negotiate with him on what that compensation should be. This will put the ball in his court and he will quit bringing up the subject.


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## altogirl (Sep 27, 2011)

Yes, plastic yarn = plarn. Cut the bags in strips, wind into a ball and knit or crochet!


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## ceecee (Mar 13, 2011)

Homeshppr said:


> I noticed you called this person an "acquaintance" and not a friend. I guess it's plain to see she'll never reach friend status with an attitude like this!
> 
> I'd definitely be taken aback by her comments, and would use this as the reason why I don't knit special request items for anyone but friends and family who respect me enough to be gracious enough to care about the time I took to create something special for them.


AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## lulemayjune (Aug 24, 2012)

Some people don't know how to be gracious. Even if it wasn't exactly the size she wanted, you obviously put a lot of effort into it and she should have thanked you for it; even if she chose not to use it. You have my sympathy - I know someone like that...


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## Carole-Jayne (Sep 24, 2012)

Don't we all???????? <G>


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## ginger c (Apr 8, 2012)

I agrree with this one 100% :-( :-( :thumbdown: :thumbdown:


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## JuneS (Nov 3, 2011)

I so agree with this repsonse. I've had people do this to me too. Rather than give a reason why I don't want to make up something for them I tell them to get me the pattern, and all the yarn, buttons, etc. needed for their size. Then I quote them $4 an hour to knit, estimate the time and give them an estimate for the labor. Then I tell them I'll document all the time I spend on it and will charge them for actual time - - - and I expect to be paid in full before I give them the item.

Also, I tell them I never agree to a deadline because that would interfere with my personal schedule; I get it done when I get it done. Usually the amount of time and labor cost gets me off the hook, but just in case, the when I get it done thing runs them off.

June



julielacykntr said:


> Explain to her that you did this w/o compensation, that it took 15 hours to make, and that you were glad to do so, BUT that being specific instructions were not given, and you feel she is unappreciative of your time and work, that you prefer not to knit for her in the future. Say this graciously w/another present (validation against gossip). You do not want to become, or act the person that you don't want to be, and obviously are not; you are obviously talented, kind, thoughtful and a giving friend. :thumbup:


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## Donnaj65 (Sep 26, 2012)

Say, "Well, I will keep this one, but if I make you any more they will cost X number of dollars. She might just become a more grateful person....Hopefully.


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## Toby's Mom (Dec 8, 2011)

Damama said:


> I have a friend who last year told me that her ears get so cold at night that she needed a hat. She didn't ask me to make her one, but I did and gave it to her. She told me how much she liked it and how warm it kept her ears. Yesterday I found an ear warmer that I had made as an experiment, it turned out nice and snug and would stay comfortably over the ears. She said oh I don't need an ear warmer to sleep in, only the wind bothers my ears. I told her that this would work great for outside, too. She just looked at me. Then said she never told me she needed something for her ears at night.So guess what, nothing off my needles will ever be hers again.
> Yes she is my friend and I know she is going through some issues right now, but.......


This is what my daughter does to me, she tells me stuff and then says: "I never told you that", well...I told her I would record her with my phone so that she never tells me that again! I love technology!


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## conch72 (May 11, 2012)

Joy Marshall said:


> A man I know related by marriage wants me to knit him a sweater. While not tall he is extremely portly. Well, absolutely huge. I don't knit large items with cheap yarn. It isn't worth my time. In order to knit him a good wool sweater it would cost me about $200 and a couple of months of all the knitting time I have to spare. He made no mention of paying for the yarn nor, of course, did he realize the time involved. So far I have dodged answering him although he doesn't forget to keep asking. I don't want to hurt his feelings. I really don't have the time to take this on, nor want to invest that much money. I just don't know how to handle a situation like this.


Reply to him:
"I have a long list of projects already planned out and am not sure when or if I will be able to get started on that sweater." If he continues to persist, find a pattern that would work for his size (use Ravelry so you don't incur any costs). Go online and look for a really expensive wool. When you have the cost per skein and how much you will need, you will be ready for him next time he asks about his sweater. Just say, "Oh, I did find a sweater for you and the perfect yarn. Here is the link where you can order it. You need to order "X" number skeins. It should run about XXX.XX in total, shipping is extra. Let me know when you have it."


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## Toby's Mom (Dec 8, 2011)

RachelL said:


> judihaven said:
> 
> 
> > No, Jesus did not want us to be doormants. He wanted us to be servants. Servants don't talk back. They are humble. When Jesus was on the cross one of the last examples he have us was, "Father, forgive them." Can we do any less? MSACC053 You have the right attitude. When Jesus was in the temple, he was in a holy place that was being desicrated. Not even close to the same thing. Being rude to some rude, is ruder. Jesus said forgive 70 x 70. I don't mean to preach but you asked for it.
> ...


All this rudeness has nothing to do with jesus or religion, I am glad I don't believe in any deities, I just treat people with respect, it is common sense. Nevertheless, total honesty is required. Why can't we just cut to the chase and say: You know it hurts my feelings that you are being so demanding, I made this bag out of niceness, a little appreciation would be nice. I am sorry if it doesn't meet your approval but don't worry I will just keep the bag for myself and I will get you some plastic bags when I can. END OF STORY!!!!! sorry I just had a couple of margaritas with the family at dinner.....I came home to read all this and I can't believe it turned into a religious discussion! the woman was a "peach" and the author needs to speak up.


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## rosespun (May 27, 2012)

umm..what the heck is a plarn?


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## SIPSIS (Oct 24, 2011)

How fast does the word "NO" jump out of your mouth when someone asked you if you were pregnant?? Every time someone asks you to do one of those non-appreciative "favors", just picture them asking you if you are pregnant, and give off with a resounding, "NO!!!" (No explanation needed!!)


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## SAMkewel (Mar 5, 2011)

CaROLE-JAYNE said:


> Don't we all???????? <G>


Your doggie is sweet--Pekingese?


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## Sarahwe (Apr 19, 2011)

Tresperros said:


> RachelL said:
> 
> 
> > judihaven said:
> ...


As the author of the original post that started this thread, I did not mean for this to become a religious discussion. I just needed the catharsis of being able to vent. Thank you, everyone, for affirming my feelings. I am absolutely non-confrontational, and would have to be VERY provoked before I would give confrontational response in any situation, but reading all of your comments, I can now look at the situation and giggle at what reaction she could have gotten from someone besides me, and my perspective on the situation has gone from feeling a tad bitter to just being amused at people. You're all WONDERFUL!


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## smontero237 (Dec 5, 2011)

Sarahwe, I am so glad you responded as you did. I agree!


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## LinJurm (Aug 4, 2011)

If I had thought of it, I would have said, "That's a funny way to say thank you. I bet your mother taught you better than that!" and then I would have walked away. she is too rude to bother with.


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## Crochet Buddy (Oct 3, 2012)

This person was very rude, forgive her and move on to the next project.


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## fibernut (Jun 5, 2011)

My dear?? Moth-in-law asked for a fancy scarf like she saw me making when we were visiting. I had her son, my DH pick out the yarn so she couldn't complain and made it. All of us have to ask if she ever gets anything we mail to her as she never lets us know?! She seemed to like it and then hinted for a felted purse, I made her one out of the same yarns, lined it with pickets and very pretty handles...When I called to see if she had gotten it, it had just came so I told her to put the phone down and open it, she didn't know I could hear her...she went on and on to her husban how pretty it was but when she got to the phone she said" it's nice"...hey that is more than I even expected from her, haha...Well 2 years later when we were visiting just as we were escaping to leave, yes I did mean escaping...she told me to wait,ugh,...here she brings out the purse and says to take it back cause she is too old to carry it...and since I had my label in it she couldn't re-gift it to one of the girls...I told here, I made that just for you to match your scarf...but she said maybe I could sell it...what a witch!!! The whole family knows that if they give her something, she always complains so it really didn't surprise me...RUDE!!! The main thing to remember is if you make something for someone do it with a good heart and if it isn't recieved well so what...the fun is always in the making anyhow...and also learn not to ever do anything for that persn again!!! haha.


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## Novice Sandy (Apr 16, 2011)

Joy Marshall said:


> A man I know related by marriage wants me to knit him a sweater. While not tall he is extremely portly. Well, absolutely huge. I don't knit large items with cheap yarn. It isn't worth my time. In order to knit him a good wool sweater it would cost me about $200 and a couple of months of all the knitting time I have to spare. He made no mention of paying for the yarn nor, of course, did he realize the time involved. So far I have dodged answering him although he doesn't forget to keep asking. I don't want to hurt his feelings. I really don't have the time to take this on, nor want to invest that much money. I just don't know how to handle a situation like this.


I like what rozemerry said. Let him know the cost, for yarn and time. I doubt he would agree. Most "family" members think your time and effort are free because they are "family."


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## KnitPicker (Jan 19, 2011)

Joy Marshall said:


> A man I know related by marriage wants me to knit him a sweater. While not tall he is extremely portly. Well, absolutely huge. I don't knit large items with cheap yarn. It isn't worth my time. In order to knit him a good wool sweater it would cost me about $200 and a couple of months of all the knitting time I have to spare. He made no mention of paying for the yarn nor, of course, did he realize the time involved. So far I have dodged answering him although he doesn't forget to keep asking. I don't want to hurt his feelings. I really don't have the time to take this on, nor want to invest that much money. I just don't know how to handle a situation like this.


He can learn a nice lesson here given with love. I would prepare an invoice with all the costs involved listed out in detail. The next time he asks, I'd say, "I've been thinking about how much fun it would be to do it for you. Here is an invoice with all the costs. Let me know when you want it done. I'll need payment in advance so I can purchase the yarn. Thanks." and then walk away quickly. You won't hear any more about it, and he won't have his feelings hurt, either, but he will get the message.


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## Mz Molly (May 31, 2012)

Ooops Naughty but very funny. I can see it and I start laughing all over again.


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## k2p3-knit on (May 1, 2012)

Since you weren't making it expecting remuneration, why not give her a copy of the pattern so she can make herself what she wants. (Say it sweetly like you are really helping her. You could savor her response.) She could get a whole carload of bags at a grocery recycling container. What? Now yours looks perfect? Oh-oh, it was given to someone who absolutely loved it.


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## Mz Molly (May 31, 2012)

Do you have an extra drink for me please?


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## Mz Molly (May 31, 2012)

Renee,

You are a dear sweet person. I am glad our "ranting" has made you smile  and please forgive me if I went "preachy" I guess my button got pushed. But please people, I feel fine no need to respond. lol

Renee, I wish you well, and happy knitting.


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## Novice Sandy (Apr 16, 2011)

KnitPicker said:


> Joy Marshall said:
> 
> 
> > A man I know related by marriage wants me to knit him a sweater. While not tall he is extremely portly. Well, absolutely huge. I don't knit large items with cheap yarn. It isn't worth my time. In order to knit him a good wool sweater it would cost me about $200 and a couple of months of all the knitting time I have to spare. He made no mention of paying for the yarn nor, of course, did he realize the time involved. So far I have dodged answering him although he doesn't forget to keep asking. I don't want to hurt his feelings. I really don't have the time to take this on, nor want to invest that much money. I just don't know how to handle a situation like this.[/quoteHe can learn a nice lesson here given with love. I would prepare an invoice with all the costs involved listed out in detail. The next time he asks, I'd say, "I've been thinking about how much fun it would be to do it for you. Here is an invoice with all the costs. Let me know when you want it done. I'll need payment in advance so I can purchase the yarn. Thanks." and then walk away quickly. You won't hear any more about it, and he won't have his feelings hurt, either, but he will get the message.
> ...


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## christine4321 (Jun 10, 2012)

Sarahwe said:


> I've been making plarn items recently - bags, hats, slippers - and an acquaintance asked how many plastic bags it would take to make a shoulder bag. A couple of weeks later, she brought me her stash of recycled bags, and asked me to make her a bag like one I had made for myself. She requested a specific length for the strap. I was finishing the bag while we were out of town, and couldn't remember the length she had specified, so I figured out how to create an adjustable strap that I knew would give her the length she wanted, plus a little more. I also put a pocket on the outside for her cell phone, and a size able pocket on the inside. All in all I had about 15 hours into the making of the bag, including making the plarn. I didn't expect to be paid, as we hadn't discussed price, but I did expect a gracious "thank you". Instead, she looked at the bag and said "didn't I ask you to make it deeper than this?" I was so surprised, I couldn't even think of a response. I had used all the bags she had given me, plus some I had in my plarn stash. I guess my feelings are a little hurt. How would you respond?


I would actually talk to her about it. She never lost a thing, she only gained. You put your own time, skills and used your own needles to make this project. You did not request money and as none was discussed you made it out of kindness. I would politely tell her that you would be happy to use the bag yourself.

What this lady said to you tells me that she is extremely self centered and unappreciative. You have every right to talk to her but what it took to construct the bag and that you worked with what you had on hand to do the best that you could.


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## Rozelle12 (May 3, 2012)

Absolutely do not make another bag for her !!!!
Rozelle12


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## KnittingBadgerBabe (Mar 7, 2011)

Given the number of responses to your totally justified rant, you know that a lot of crafters have been subjected to the kind of ignorant response to which you and your crafting efforts were subjected. 

Given that hindsight is always 20-20, my hope is that I would have smiled at the Acquaintance and responded, "I'm so sorry my XX hours of work don't please you. I now simply can't insult you by giving this bag to you." I would NOT have given the craft to the acquaintance under any circumstances. And as others suggested, I would return the same number of plastic bags to her that she provided to you. (Where I live -- in Wisconsin -- those bags are recycled, and I would have asked family and friends for enough to return to the Ignorant Acquaintance.) 

As an alternative, I might have smiled sweetly at her and offered to pay her for the plastic bags, telling her that you would be looking forward to seeing HER crafting efforts. But she certainly wouldn't be using the bag YOU made -- not under any circumstances!

Like other knitters, I've learned (the hard way) to be very careful when I make something for someone, particularly folks who like to talk but who have no clue what goes in doing any sort of craft. Most people respond with kindness and gratitude. For the Clueless Few who want something for nothing and then feel the moral imperative to criticize the end product, I turn a deaf ear to their requests -- and I'm always "too busy" making items for others. 

You have behaved with a lot of class. Above all, thank you for warning us about this Acquaintance -- and reinforcing an important lesson. My hope is that you can avoid this person. She's really to be pitied.


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## belinda (Mar 30, 2011)

Print all these comments and hand them to her...


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## missylam (Aug 27, 2011)

How rude can you get.


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## Nanny Val (Oct 10, 2012)

I would have taken it back.... unfortunately there are handless people in this world who do not appreciate the time and effort in doing craft. I do not know anything about this craft. Some information please, I would appreciate it and I will introduce it in N. Ireland


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## Sarahwe (Apr 19, 2011)

Nanny Val said:


> I would have taken it back.... unfortunately there are handless people in this world who do not appreciate the time and effort in doing craft. I do not know anything about this craft. Some information please, I would appreciate it and I will introduce it in N. Ireland


Hi Val,
First of all, "plarn" is yarn made from recycled plastic grocery type bags, and then it is used as any other yarn for knit or crochet or weaving. If you search on you tube for "plarn", you'll find tons of video tutorials on making and working with plarn. It's kind of satisfying to be "green" by saving landfills from plastic junk. If you look under my profile, you'll find some of the projects I've done from plarn. If you search in etsy.com you'll find plarn projects for sale by many talented crafters.


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## Nanny Val (Oct 10, 2012)

Thank you so much for your quick reply. I will look that up right now. I belong to a knit and natter (chat) group and we are always looking for new things to do.


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## realsilvergirl (Nov 13, 2011)

I would have responded with scissors! ( to the bag that is...the bag you made i mean! )


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## realsilvergirl (Nov 13, 2011)

Send her to etsy. She can buy one if she wants! She is not knitworthy!


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## Nanny Val (Oct 10, 2012)

I have now discovered plarn and will be introducing it to our group this morning. My largest crochet hook is a no 5, maybe a larger on would better. Thanks for the info


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## luvs2knit47 (Sep 27, 2011)

I think I would have wrapped the adjustable strap around her ungrateful neck and....well, maybe I wouldn't have gone that far but I would have felt like it~~~I have sewed, knitted and done lots of different craft type projects all my life and people never cease to amaze me that they think it's free and takes no time to do these things...I wonder if when you give them something that they actually realize what goes into it? I knitted this simple little pouch with a strap that goes around my neck, for my MP3 player that I listen to music or audio books on sometimes when I'm sewing or knitting...I posted a picture of it on Facebook...a friends daughter asked me to make her one...I was more than happy to...it was small, took very little yarn and not expensive to mail to her. After she got it she tells me some of her friends would like one too...I handled that problem by telling her each one would be $10 for the yarn and postage, that I made hers because she was special to me... I've not heard another word about making any more!!! LOL! I'm not too shy anymore to quote a price or the cost of yarn etc to knit something for someone...my time is precious to me and I can't afford the good yarn to make things for free and I don't want to use cheap yarn that turns out looking bad later... I still make things for people that are special to me of course...it's my pleasure~~~But, I think that woman was just downright rude!!http://www.knittingparadise.com/compose_reply.jsp?topicnum=115866#! :thumbdown: :thumbdown:


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## mavisb (Apr 18, 2011)

I would have called her a cow to, but I have been very polite on this website. I think she is very ungrateful for all the work you have put in. I would most certainly say to her if she were to ask again, I am really very sorry but I am so busy at the moment I don't have time to take on any more knitting.


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## jennifer57 (Jan 27, 2011)

i had a similar situation but turned around. I asked a lady to make a bag for me I paid her 75.00 for it and well when I got the bag, I was shocked at how she didn't make it perfect. the reason for wanting it was she had made everyone but me a bag in our knitting group it really upset me and I really wanted one. the seams were so uneven, and was basically tacked together I had another friend of mine fix it right, and well all together i have 100.00 invested in this bag. I would be upset if I was you. I too would be speechless. I have made stuff for people that they have asked for and well never have gotten a thank you. it hurts and you have a right to be upset.


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## jennifer57 (Jan 27, 2011)

i had a similar situation but turned around. I asked a lady to make a bag for me I paid her 75.00 for it and well when I got the bag, I was shocked at how she didn't make it perfect. the reason for wanting it was she had made everyone but me a bag in our knitting group it really upset me and I really wanted one. the seams were so uneven, and was basically tacked together I had another friend of mine fix it right, and well all together i have 100.00 invested in this bag. I would be upset if I was you. I too would be speechless. I have made stuff for people that they have asked for and well never have gotten a thank you. it hurts and you have a right to be upset.


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## Mz Molly (May 31, 2012)

OMG best answer yet. LOL LOL LOL for sure.


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## goldnote (Jun 10, 2011)

Sharing sad experiences like this can help the rest of us find responses that fit the occasion, which inevitably happens to all of us. Some people simply don't have filters and/or manners. My mother-in-law would ask me to do many time-consuming handmade items, from embroidery to knitting, to sewing. Never did I get a thank-you. Here's what I did to stop the entire thing: she gave me FOUR sweaters to embroider for her - takes forever. I kept those four sweaters for six months, then gave her one back w/embroidery and nothing on the other three. I told her if she wanted to wait another 6 months for the next one, I'd try to meet that deadline. She took all of the sweaters home with her. Never another request.


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## regencylover (Sep 27, 2012)

Where can one find directins for making plarn?
Drop ungrateful people -- unless they happen to be close relatives with whom one is stuck.


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## caloughner (Oct 3, 2011)

rozemerry said:


> After the first time this happens( even if a close friend says, " will you make me a hat for winter?" ) one learns to say, " I would love to. If you will buy the pattern you like and all the yarn it needs, I would gladly make it for you." This separates quickly those who really want one and those who think whipping out a hat of fine yarn is a breeze and cost nothing!!


e 
I agree with this response. I learned that technique many years ago and it works like a charm. Those that are really serious and appreciate the work involved will follow through. Over the past 30+ years I've only had about 3 people do this.


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## conch72 (May 11, 2012)

regencylover said:


> Where can one find directins for making plarn?
> Drop ungrateful people -- unless they happen to be close relatives with whom one is stuck.


Definitely. What's the old saying, "You can choose your friends. . . ."


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## Carole-Jayne (Sep 24, 2012)

Hi, Chloe is a Tibetan Spaniel ... Tibbies don't have the 'squashed' faces of the Pekinese and their coats, while still double, aren't as long to the ground as the Pekes. Tibbies are a hardy breed, very rough and tumble with little or no maintenance. Chloe is also a therapy dog and we visit Nursing Homes where, at 12lbs, she sits on laps and snuggles up to bedridden patients. She is the most gentle soul you'd ever meet - she gets up every morning with the expectation that *this* is just going to be the *best* day of her life, and every new person she'll meet will be her new best friend. It is my goal to be just like her - but I'm a work in progress <g>


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## gypsie (May 28, 2011)

Joy Marshall said:


> A man I know related by marriage wants me to knit him a sweater. While not tall he is extremely portly. Well, absolutely huge. I don't knit large items with cheap yarn. It isn't worth my time. In order to knit him a good wool sweater it would cost me about $200 and a couple of months of all the knitting time I have to spare. He made no mention of paying for the yarn nor, of course, did he realize the time involved. So far I have dodged answering him although he doesn't forget to keep asking. I don't want to hurt his feelings. I really don't have the time to take this on, nor want to invest that much money. I just don't know how to handle a situation like this.


Be honest. Ask him what size jacket he wears, then tell him how much yarn it will take and how much it will cost, then quickly say that he would be better off in the long run finding a ready made item,,, followed by I don't have time because you are making gifts for your fam.


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## Maya'sOma (Sep 3, 2011)

Sarahwe said:


> I've been making plarn items recently - bags, hats, slippers - and an acquaintance asked how many plastic bags it would take to make a shoulder bag. A couple of weeks later, she brought me her stash of recycled bags, and asked me to make her a bag like one I had made for myself. She requested a specific length for the strap. I was finishing the bag while we were out of town, and couldn't remember the length she had specified, so I figured out how to create an adjustable strap that I knew would give her the length she wanted, plus a little more. I also put a pocket on the outside for her cell phone, and a size able pocket on the inside. All in all I had about 15 hours into the making of the bag, including making the plarn. I didn't expect to be paid, as we hadn't discussed price, but I did expect a gracious "thank you". Instead, she looked at the bag and said "didn't I ask you to make it deeper than this?" I was so surprised, I couldn't even think of a response. I had used all the bags she had given me, plus some I had in my plarn stash. I guess my feelings are a little hurt. How would you respond?


You should just have politely put it over the 'aquaintance's' head and walked off.

:-D :lol:


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## cindylucifer (Sep 10, 2011)

If you really wanted to make the sweater, I would say "I would be happy to make this sweater. This is how much I charge for such a project." Don't do this for free, there is to much involved, even if it is a relative.


Joy Marshall said:


> A man I know related by marriage wants me to knit him a sweater. While not tall he is extremely portly. Well, absolutely huge. I don't knit large items with cheap yarn. It isn't worth my time. In order to knit him a good wool sweater it would cost me about $200 and a couple of months of all the knitting time I have to spare. He made no mention of paying for the yarn nor, of course, did he realize the time involved. So far I have dodged answering him although he doesn't forget to keep asking. I don't want to hurt his feelings. I really don't have the time to take this on, nor want to invest that much money. I just don't know how to handle a situation like this.


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## kdb (Aug 29, 2012)

That would be her last bag, I have seen handbags made out of bags and they are beautiful do not be discouraged about it you did what you were supposed to do.


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## grannykim (Oct 8, 2012)

I once was asked to make a sweater for a workmate. I said no. The time and effort is substantial and I am picky who I make things for. The fact that you made that for an acquaintance shows you are a very generous person. For that I applaud you. In answer to your question I would have been at a loss for words but would have liked to have told her. Sorry, I can give you the pattern and you can make it any way you like.


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## DorothyLWM (May 8, 2011)

Grandma Laurie said:


> OOOOOH, those ungrateful people!!!! I think I would have taken it back and told her you'd give her her plastic bags back when you had collected the amount she gave you!


I LOVE this response. You could still collect a bunch of bags and drop over to make the trade. What an ungrateful snot. I've been taken advantage of that way after many hours of making an afghan and a quick fun fur shawlette, but she will never do that to me again.


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## ohsusana (Jun 24, 2012)

Maya'sOma said:


> Sarahwe said:
> 
> 
> > I've been making plarn items recently - bags, hats, slippers - and an acquaintance asked how many plastic bags it would take to make a shoulder bag. A couple of weeks later, she brought me her stash of recycled bags, and asked me to make her a bag like one I had made for myself. She requested a specific length for the strap. I was finishing the bag while we were out of town, and couldn't remember the length she had specified, so I figured out how to create an adjustable strap that I knew would give her the length she wanted, plus a little more. I also put a pocket on the outside for her cell phone, and a size able pocket on the inside. All in all I had about 15 hours into the making of the bag, including making the plarn. I didn't expect to be paid, as we hadn't discussed price, but I did expect a gracious "thank you". Instead, she looked at the bag and said "didn't I ask you to make it deeper than this?" I was so surprised, I couldn't even think of a response. I had used all the bags she had given me, plus some I had in my plarn stash. I guess my feelings are a little hurt. How would you respond?
> ...


Exactly, my thoughts too. Why are some people so ungrateful or are they just stupid?


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## run4fittness (May 22, 2011)

very rude! Keep the bag and give her some different bags back if you have them. there is no good excuse for rudeness!


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## DorothyLWM (May 8, 2011)

There are too few people who have been raised with the understanding that no one owes you Anything, other than a reasonable amount of respect for your rights and opinions. So when you do something for them, they're more likely to find fault than feel appreciation. 

We had the hippies, starting in the 1960's, spouting irresponsibility as their right, since they "weren't hurting anyone" and even believing they were morally superior to those who were paying their bills. Of course anyone with a brain knew they were wrong on both counts. And they've raised their children, and now a third generation, with the same lack of respect for anyone else. 

So now we have too many people who don't understand the meaning of gratitude. Nor are they interested.


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## Jaki (Apr 5, 2011)

Google it sweetie - AllFreeKnittingPatterns is a great site too - am going to try my first ever plarn bag when the craft fayre on friday is over! I haven't seen much in the way of plarn knits over here in the UK, so I'm hoping I'll also be the first in our village to produce one!!! Will post pics when done! Good luck sweetie - have fun xxx


regencylover said:


> Where can one find directins for making plarn?
> Drop ungrateful people -- unless they happen to be close relatives with whom one is stuck.


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## Sarahwe (Apr 19, 2011)

Do you all know what has been the best part of all of your responses? The fact that many of you hadn't heard of recycling plastic bags and using the resulting plarn to create things, and that so many of you are excited to learn a new way to use your crafting expertise! So, what seemed at first to be such a negative experience for me has turned into something very rewarding in my mind. I'm looking forward to seeing your creations on KP!


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## Sarahwe (Apr 19, 2011)

motherdawg said:


> BTW can I see what it looks like?


Motherdawg, I'm kicking myself for not having taken a picture of that specific bag, just because it would be nice to see what I came up with for the adjustable strap. Stupidly, I didn't write anything down as I went along. I do have some pics of other bags posted under my profile here on KP.


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## luvs2knit47 (Sep 27, 2011)

I had not heard of plarn and I do intend to make me a tote bag from my grocery bags...you did get something good started~~~Bless you :wink:


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## wolfmom6712 (Sep 16, 2012)

Sarahwe said:


> Do you all know what has been the best part of all of your responses? The fact that many of you hadn't heard of recycling plastic bags and using the resulting plarn to create things, and that so many of you are excited to learn a new way to use your crafting expertise! So, what seemed at first to be such a negative experience for me has turned into something very rewarding in my mind. I'm looking forward to seeing your creations on KP!


 :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :-D


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## taborhills (Sep 8, 2012)

Any chance of posting photos of your plarn bags? Thanks for getting us all excited on what turned out to be much more than a rant!


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## mariolacronin (Jun 12, 2012)

considering that she is not your close friend I would say something like "well, it took me 15 hrs to make this, so unless you are willing to pay for my time I suggest you learn how to knit, it isn't that hard... but VERY TIME CONSUMING!!!!!!"


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## bizzyknitter (May 10, 2011)

Sarahwe said:


> I've been making plarn items recently - bags, hats, slippers - and an acquaintance asked how many plastic bags it would take to make a shoulder bag. A couple of weeks later, she brought me her stash of recycled bags, and asked me to make her a bag like one I had made for myself. She requested a specific length for the strap. I was finishing the bag while we were out of town, and couldn't remember the length she had specified, so I figured out how to create an adjustable strap that I knew would give her the length she wanted, plus a little more. I also put a pocket on the outside for her cell phone, and a size able pocket on the inside. All in all I had about 15 hours into the making of the bag, including making the plarn. I didn't expect to be paid, as we hadn't discussed price, but I did expect a gracious "thank you". Instead, she looked at the bag and said "didn't I ask you to make it deeper than this?" I was so surprised, I couldn't even think of a response. I had used all the bags she had given me, plus some I had in my plarn stash. I guess my feelings are a little hurt. How would you respond?


So sorry this happened to you. I know what it feels like and this is why I only make things for my family. But had she done this to me I would have taken the bag back and just said..."I'm sorry it isn't to your liking maybe someone else could do a better job." :evil:


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## Sarahwe (Apr 19, 2011)

taborhills said:


> Any chance of posting photos of your plarn bags? Thanks for getting us all excited on what turned out to be much more than a rant!


Hi Taborhills,

I have posted some of my plarn items here on KP - look under my profile at my posts and you'll find them. Hope you try it out!


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## monetgardening (Aug 19, 2011)

How dare she treat you this way after being kind enough to agree to do this for her. As you said, there was no discussion of payment. So personally I believe she was certainly taking your goodness for granted!! Good to find out what she was like before investing any more time! Consider it a small price to pay to know what she is really like. Feel good about your kind heart.

Big Hugs
Marie


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## AlinePat (Sep 29, 2012)

Sadly, the world is filled with joy-killers like your acquaintance. It's best to indicate at the start, that there is a cost involved, whether in time, dollars and/or material. If the critter balks, well, just smile and walk away. We creators of hand made treasures are entitled to more than a thank you, although sometimes it will suffice.


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## ylostn (Mar 10, 2011)

I have to agree with the others and give her back the bags and smile and say "Sorry, guess I messed up" and walk away.....


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## Augustgran (Apr 16, 2011)

Katsch said:


> I know this is not nice but I would have put the bag over her head. The nerve of some people. I'm sorry she was so rude to you. Shame on her.


ME TOO!!I would have snatched back so fast she wouldn't have known what hit her then give her $3 for a package of trashbags and tell her to make her own!!!
PLEASE don't apologise !!she is the rude ungrateful B9494tch not you!


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## netcst (Sep 26, 2011)

Ditto, PaKnitter.


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## raybay53 (Dec 27, 2011)

Joy: the best way to handle someone like him is to tell him to go to the store and buy the yarn himself tell him how much yarn and what kind of yarn ( pick out the most expensive yarn on the market ) tell him that way he can pick out his own color. Maybe when he see just how expensive the yarn is. If that don't change his mind tell him how many hours it is going to take you to knit it, that in no way is he going to have the sweater in a week. At that point I would tell him there is no way you can do that much work for free, that he will have to pay you for your time. This should put a end to it. I hope this helps you so he will stop asking.


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## Geri D (Oct 4, 2012)

Do you know I've just come to the conclusion that some of the rudest people don't knit!


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## ms. dotsy (Feb 22, 2012)

I recently saw a documentary on the BBC featuring various countries which were awarded for their efforts at recyling to help global warming. Turns out there were these women in India who were making usable crocheted items from grocery bags torn in strips. Items such as dust bins, laundry hampers etc. Since then I have been saving my grocery bags. But never heard it termed as plarn. Thanks you just encouraged me to keep stashing till I get to them. 

Oh and as to that woman...obviously she would love to own one of those bags. NOT NOW THO..!!! Got too much to do perhaps after the holidays. SORRY.


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## Tennessee.Gal (Mar 11, 2012)

I believe that, instead of a bag, you should have presented her with a Minny's Chocolate Pie (from "The Help").


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## bizzyknitter (May 10, 2011)

Tennessee.Gal said:


> I believe that, instead of a bag, you should have presented her with a Minny's Chocolate Pie (from "The Help").


 :thumbup:


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## nuclearfinz (Feb 23, 2011)

having been on the other side of this, I had a friend dye some wool for me. I thought I had told heer one color but she thought I had said another color. She did a fgreat job and it is a wonderful color. xzShe was doing me a favor and I am quite happy with the color she did. Even if I wasnt , I would still gracious. What that woman did was rude.


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## Lulubelle (Feb 18, 2011)

Oh, you asked the right one!! What I would have said to her could not be printed on this website, but I think you get the idea. How rude and I would not bother with a person like this again. I am not over reacting, the thing is, if someone can be so rude and thoughtless over a bag, can you imagine how she would be if you ever really needed a friend? you don't need her in your life. Get rid of the garbage in your life, you will be better for it.


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## DebNannyMom (Oct 10, 2011)

Joy, send him a couple easy sweater patterns to view, show him the amount of yarn required and tell him to purchase it. Then come up with a per hour fee for knitting the thing and see if he still wants one.


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## DebNannyMom (Oct 10, 2011)

:thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :lol:


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## msdotsy1 (Oct 17, 2012)

Tennessee.Gal said:


> I believe that, instead of a bag, you should have presented her with a Minny's Chocolate Pie (from "The Help").


Ooh nasty!

:XD:


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## Dsynr (Jun 3, 2011)

Punched her in the nose! Well, not really, but I would have given her such a "look" that she would have thought I had!!
Bloody cheek! [my pals across the pond would say].
You can tell her,
"You ASKED me to make this like the one I made for myself. I made it. Now, you have the unmitigated gall to critizize it? Obviously, you have no understanding how much work an item like this involves, nor do you have any appreciation or gratitude for the work and time involved; and in addition, you have made absolutely NO mention of how much you will pay for it.
You demanded this for free, to unspecified custom-made specifications, did you? What entitles you to make such demands of me? Answer me!!
When she huffs she thought the two of you were friends, you ask
"And a friend takes advantage of another friend the way you are trying to take advantage of me?"
See, you have to establish that you have rights which she must respect and that doing her such a GREAT FAVOR does not entitle her to bully you. You have to stand up for yourself when someone is trying to bully you and not take their foolishness! It may sound sorta "gangsta" at first, but you will get used to it and people will start to give you the respect you deserve. 
Also, get ready to hear about how she is bad-mouthing you to everbody who will listen to her crap!



Sarahwe said:


> I've been making plarn items recently - bags, hats, slippers - and an acquaintance asked how many plastic bags it would take to make a shoulder bag. A couple of weeks later, she brought me her stash of recycled bags, and asked me to make her a bag like one I had made for myself. She requested a specific length for the strap. I was finishing the bag while we were out of town, and couldn't remember the length she had specified, so I figured out how to create an adjustable strap that I knew would give her the length she wanted, plus a little more. I also put a pocket on the outside for her cell phone, and a size able pocket on the inside. All in all I had about 15 hours into the making of the bag, including making the plarn. I didn't expect to be paid, as we hadn't discussed price, but I did expect a gracious "thank you". Instead, she looked at the bag and said "didn't I ask you to make it deeper than this?" I was so surprised, I couldn't even think of a response. I had used all the bags she had given me, plus some I had in my plarn stash. I guess my feelings are a little hurt. How would you respond?


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## Cheeky Blighter (Nov 20, 2011)

Sorry to hear that your friend was so ungrateful for all that work. I have had that sort of thing happen to me too and those folks don't get anything else I make again. I have friends and relatives who really appreciate hand knitting and crocheting and they love my presents. Keep making your nice presents and don't be discouraged by that one person.


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## BalloonBeth (Aug 17, 2016)

Joy Marshall said:


> A man I know related by marriage wants me to knit him a sweater. While not tall he is extremely portly. Well, absolutely huge. I don't knit large items with cheap yarn. It isn't worth my time. In order to knit him a good wool sweater it would cost me about $200 and a couple of months of all the knitting time I have to spare. He made no mention of paying for the yarn nor, of course, did he realize the time involved. So far I have dodged answering him although he doesn't forget to keep asking. I don't want to hurt his feelings. I really don't have the time to take this on, nor want to invest that much money. I just don't know how to handle a situation like this.


Tell him what you just said. If he is willing to pay for the yarn and something for your time it would be nice to make him happy. He probably has no idea what he is asking for.


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