# not appreciated!



## mollyb44 (Nov 11, 2013)

Remember last summer when I was doing all that knitting and crocheting
for my sisters son and daughter-in-law? They had been waiting for 18 years to have a baby, she has had multiple miscarriages. She had the baby, a little girl, Becca. Well, I have yet to see her in ANYTHING that I have made. She had said that she didn't have any bonnets for Becca to wear now that it was getting cold. Well, the yellow sweater set had a bonnett, the pink sweat set had a bonnett, the owl cocoon had a hat to match it and I made her two winter hats that I shipped up later. 
DONE!!! Not making anything else for her. She will be growing out of the yellow and the pink sweater outfits soon and no picture of her wearing them..........


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## WindingRoad (May 7, 2013)

mollyb44 said:


> Remember last summer when I was doing all that knitting and crocheting
> for my sisters son and daughter-in-law? They had been waiting for 18 years to have a baby, she has had multiple miscarriages. She had the baby, a little girl, Becca. Well, I have yet to see her in ANYTHING that I have made. She had said that she didn't have any bonnets for Becca to wear now that it was getting cold. Well, the yellow sweater set had a bonnett, the pink sweat set had a bonnett, the owl cocoon had a hat to match it and I made her two winter hats that I shipped up later.
> DONE!!! Not making anything else for her. She will be growing out of the yellow and the pink sweater outfits soon and no picture of her wearing them..........


That's a real shame. They are beautiful.


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## K2P2 knitter (Jan 31, 2013)

Sounds like my daughter in law. I made a pink blanket for their little baby. I never received a thank you and when we went to visit the blanket was no where to be found. Will not make them anything ever again.


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## lil rayma (Mar 29, 2012)

mollyb44 said:


> Remember last summer when I was doing all that knitting and crocheting
> for my sisters son and daughter-in-law? They had been waiting for 18 years to have a baby, she has had multiple miscarriages. She had the baby, a little girl, Becca. Well, I have yet to see her in ANYTHING that I have made. She had said that she didn't have any bonnets for Becca to wear now that it was getting cold. Well, the yellow sweater set had a bonnett, the pink sweat set had a bonnett, the owl cocoon had a hat to match it and I made her two winter hats that I shipped up later.
> DONE!!! Not making anything else for her. She will be growing out of the yellow and the pink sweater outfits soon and no picture of her wearing them..........


I know that hurts. Your sets are beautiful. The receiver needs to take a course in appreciation.


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## budasha (Aug 10, 2011)

mollyb44 said:


> Remember last summer when I was doing all that knitting and crocheting
> for my sisters son and daughter-in-law? They had been waiting for 18 years to have a baby, she has had multiple miscarriages. She had the baby, a little girl, Becca. Well, I have yet to see her in ANYTHING that I have made. She had said that she didn't have any bonnets for Becca to wear now that it was getting cold. Well, the yellow sweater set had a bonnett, the pink sweat set had a bonnett, the owl cocoon had a hat to match it and I made her two winter hats that I shipped up later.
> DONE!!! Not making anything else for her. She will be growing out of the yellow and the pink sweater outfits soon and no picture of her wearing them..........


How lovely they are and I'm so sorry that she hasn't sent you a photo of Becca wearing any of them.


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## barcar (Jun 16, 2011)

Sounds like my husband's niece, my aunt's granddaughter, and my cousin's daughter...I only made booties but still...I know how you feel.


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## dauntiekay (Jan 18, 2014)

I know just what you mean--you get to the point where you have to say, "enough is enough". I think sometimes is is better to do for those who appreciate you doing for them. Your pieces are all so beautiful--so sorry that a photo was not sent to at least show some kind of appreciation.


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## redquilter (Jun 24, 2011)

That pink set is just gorgeous. Are you sure the mother never put the items on the baby? Maybe she did but never thought to take a picture to send to you. I would ask her if she has used them, because if not, I'd like to donate them someplace. But, that's me. I never have a problem asking questions like that.


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## janetj54 (Mar 12, 2011)

I know exactly how you feel. I crocheted two dresses for my great granddaughter and I have not seen her in any of them. I am not sure that she kept them.


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## AlderRose (May 5, 2011)

I know what you mean. I've spent hours making sweaters and quilts and have not heard one word or seen them used. It is a pity that these young people don't appreciate the time, skill and love that goes into hand made gifts.


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## LAMARQUE8 (Oct 12, 2014)

Stick with animals!!!


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## Granny2005 (Feb 20, 2014)

thats why I knit fir. charity. I can pretend that someone likes. appreciate & wrats them.


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## Hudson (Mar 3, 2011)

Sorry that people are thoughtless!! There has been more than once I was happier donating what I had made than giving it as a gift.


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## run4fittness (May 22, 2011)

Beautiful outfits, what a shame they are not being used.


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## desertcarr (Feb 1, 2011)

The outfits are beautiful. Unfortunately it seems to be too common that such work is not appreciated. It's happened to me and I know how much it hurts. I knit only for those who appreciate my work.


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## bp42168 (Jul 29, 2011)

I feel your pain. Unfortunately, we've all had that happen. I only knit for charity and family that I know appreciates hand made items.


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## beejay (May 27, 2011)

Such beautiful work you do and I know from experience it hurts to be so unappreciated. Maybe they are so wrapped up in this baby after all those years of waiting that they are just being thoughtless. I gave up knitting for family ages ago. Just do charity work now.


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## peacegoddess (Jan 28, 2013)

Did you ask her if she wanted hand crafted hats, sweaters etc? Sometimes some people prefer mass produced. I personally do not know why that is, but they do. Remember the old saying "pearls before swine"? Your outfits are lovely and they deserve to be worn. I would ask how the items fit and see what response you get.


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## jmcret05 (Oct 24, 2011)

What does your sister say about it?

Same deal with my brother's daughter. I waited and waited for a thank you for shower gift, wedding gift, and then baby gift, and finally asked my SIL. Her answer was that dau. was just so busy! Tried again, and made a pumpkin hat for her first Halloween and saw a pic on Facebook--not even a mention of the hat's maker.

So, ask the sister and don't be afraid to express your disappointment. Manners have to be taught also.

Your knitting is lovely, BTW


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## Helen Hawkins (Jul 1, 2011)

Talking to my friend on the phone yesterday. She was really upset that everything clothes, toys, books etc. She sends to her grand children she finds that her DIL lists on eBay a few weeks later.
Told her she would be better to open a bank account for each grand child and put money in on birthdays and Xmas and give it to them when they turn 21.


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## lil rayma (Mar 29, 2012)

Helen Hawkins said:


> Talking to my friend on the phone yesterday. She was really upset that everything clothes, toys, books etc. She sends to her grand children she finds that her DIL lists on eBay a few weeks later.
> Told her she would be better to open a bank account for each grand child and put money in on birthdays and Xmas and give it to them when they turn 21.


She has every right to be upset. I could not hold my tongue if I had a DIL that did that. What a shame.


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## mdhh (Jul 3, 2014)

mollyb44 said:


> Remember last summer when I was doing all that knitting and crocheting
> for my sisters son and daughter-in-law? They had been waiting for 18 years to have a baby, she has had multiple miscarriages. She had the baby, a little girl, Becca. Well, I have yet to see her in ANYTHING that I have made. She had said that she didn't have any bonnets for Becca to wear now that it was getting cold. Well, the yellow sweater set had a bonnett, the pink sweat set had a bonnett, the owl cocoon had a hat to match it and I made her two winter hats that I shipped up later.
> DONE!!! Not making anything else for her. She will be growing out of the yellow and the pink sweater outfits soon and no picture of her wearing them..........


You mention that you shipped some things later. Are you sure that your beautiful garments were received? I know I would not be overly anxious to make some more until I knew for sure they didn't get the originals. Any way you can find out?


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## Naneast (Jun 12, 2011)

Your work is beautiful.. I know how you feel.


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## luree (Feb 21, 2014)

They are so beautiful . What a shame . Sorry that they don't appreciate good knitting .


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## Deegle (Sep 25, 2015)

That's such a shame. Most people are very appreciative of hand knitted baby clothes. I have only had this kind of thing twice - one relative never seemed to dress the baby in my knits, so when she had her second baby, I gave her a bundle of knits, but asked her to return anything that she didn't like as someone else would be glad of them. She kept some and returned a couple. The other time, a relative openly told me that she gave them to her daughter for her baby doll! She never got any more from me!


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## Chesneys (Jan 30, 2015)

Maybe, just maybe, the baby was a fast growing one and that was a hint for more? We sent a gorgeous cocoon years ago to DH's grandson, had to ask if it got there only to find out he only wore it once because he grew so fast! 

It was liked, but my step-daughters were raised to out and out take for granted anything they were given, and the boy jumped from newborn to 3 months size in a couple of weeks. O well.

I would just ask her; no point doing something she won't use. Tho' I can't imagine why, you do beautiful work and the patterns are lovely.


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## deshka (Apr 6, 2011)

That is very sad. The least they could do it put the clothes on the baby and take a few pictures to show she had it on. It is a total shame things are not used. I have made so many baby sweaters and I know with all the pictures taken of two certain kids they never had the zip back sweaters on even once. hundreds of pictures on facebook. My daughter lives near both of these moms and she told me she had never seen either sweater on. I told her it was ok, they probably donated them to goodwill where someone that WANTED them got them. Then I told her that to many people when I give them something I no longer have any strings attached to it, so it's up to them whether they used it or not. It's no longer mine. It's still awful what happens to some very nice gifts.


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## Hoots (Jan 22, 2012)

What a shame.They are beautiful.I don't think people realise how much thought and time goes into these items.


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## MarilynKnits (Aug 30, 2011)

The outfits are absolutely lovely. How tacky of the young mom not to show any modicum of appreciation. Don't blame you for not wanting to make more such darling outfits for the baby. 

My MIL made things for DD that were not much the sort of things I made, not really to my taste, but when we visited, DD was wearing what Nana knitted. That may be our generation too. We were all taught our manners.


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## desireeross (Jun 2, 2013)

I'm wary about knitting for folk unless I'm asked specifically. Then it becomes a paid commission. For family, I know what they like and usually ask before I put a lot of work into something they might not use.


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## dauntiekay (Jan 18, 2014)

LAMARQUE8 said:


> Stick with animals!!!


I agree--they always seem to appreciate what you do for them!


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## mamanacy (Dec 16, 2013)

That is a real shame. I am just old enough to ask her "what about the bonnets and sweaters that I sent. Has she outgrown them???? But I wouldn't make her anymore until you know if she has used what you sent her.A shame. And I love them both, but my favorite is the yellow-that is my favorite color.


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## Raybo (Mar 12, 2011)

LAMARQUE8 said:


> Stick with animals!!!


 :thumbup: :thumbup: :lol:


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## kristinacavaz (Mar 4, 2015)

Those are beautiful. Unfortunately, I think a lot of us here can empathize with what you experienced. There aren't words for what they did, really. It's beyond thoughtless. I have no idea what people are thinking, why they would not even acknowledge all of your work?? I mean, at least let people know that your gift was received?? There is a relative of mine that did the same thing- bizarre. I had to call to make sure the item arrived in the mail, because I didn't hear a peep - turns out they did the same thing to another relative too, and it was such a "crime" that word of their behavior was all over town, so to speak.


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## mombr4 (Apr 21, 2011)

That is a shame, they are all beautiful.

I don't give hand made sweaters as gifts any longer. The last few never received a thank you. The last was my cousins son, mailed the gift, never got a thank you. Did see them several months later and never even mentioned receiving the gift. Never again.


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## Knitting in the Rockys (Aug 17, 2015)

I do NOT knit for my grandchildren...if that sounds mean, it isn't. My daughter in law is of the mindset that anything handmade is...well I won't use that word. In fact unless I purchase clothing from the most expensive, exclusive stores...I won't see any of it on my grandchildren.

On the other hand I've knitted and crocheted baby items for coworkers who couldn't wait to drag out the camera and take photos of their baby wrapped in one of my blankets.

Make items for those who will use them, appreciate them and thank you for them. More than once I have passed someone on the street who was wearing a hat or scarf that I knitted for my Church's annual winter clothing drive...always thrills me to see the items being worn.

There ARE people who appreciate our talents and labor. On cold, wintry days, they appreciate the warmth.


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## Shannon123 (Mar 9, 2012)

Your baby items are really beautiful and it is a shame that they aren't appreciated. 

Unfortunately it happens more often than we think. People who have never knit or crochet have no way of knowing the time and thought that goes into a finished item. I belong to a group on Ravelry (though not active on it much) called "Selfish Knitters" all brought together by the (initially) sad realization that knitters (and mostly oneself) are the only ones capable of real appreciation.

I have knit a few baby things that have been cherished but I'm very discerning. I actually knit baby uggs for the shear cuteness and ended up having to make another pair when my good friend announced that she was having twin grand babies. They were loved.

I hope that you find others to knit your darling baby clothes for, I know how much fun they are to make.


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## Gypsycream (Nov 23, 2011)

That's sad because your work is so professional.


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## lexiemae (Aug 14, 2013)

They are all beautiful sets, clearly a lot of love & work went into them all. 
I know that my friend Elaine did just as you have, for her daughter, her 1st Grandchild, and she has never seen Poppy in any of the clothes or seen the beautiful blanket she made being used. Sad and I know it has hurt Elaine a lot. I suggested she knits for Charity in future, there is always someone you can help out that way.


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## Mary Cardiff (Mar 18, 2012)

Beautiful baby sets,


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## birsss (Aug 16, 2011)

Beautiful work.


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## Sammiep (Apr 8, 2012)

Beautiful knits. I have had the same experience even when specific items were requested.


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## williesmom (Feb 16, 2012)

Granny2005 said:


> thats why I knit fir. charity. I can pretend that someone likes. appreciate & wrats them.


Me, too. I knit for me and my favorite charities.


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## purdeygirl (Aug 11, 2013)

Perhaps she has stored them away safely and has forgotten....is a gentle reminder worth a try ?


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## Kitchenergal (Nov 13, 2013)

mollyb44 said:


> Remember last summer when I was doing all that knitting and crocheting
> for my sisters son and daughter-in-law? They had been waiting for 18 years to have a baby, she has had multiple miscarriages. She had the baby, a little girl, Becca. Well, I have yet to see her in ANYTHING that I have made. She had said that she didn't have any bonnets for Becca to wear now that it was getting cold. Well, the yellow sweater set had a bonnett, the pink sweat set had a bonnett, the owl cocoon had a hat to match it and I made her two winter hats that I shipped up later.
> DONE!!! Not making anything else for her. She will be growing out of the yellow and the pink sweater outfits soon and no picture of her wearing them..........


It sounds as if a few of us have the same issue. I did a cross stitch picture for my son's little girl, which had a small Precious Moment figure on it, along with her name and birthdate. I had it professionally framed.to the tune of about $130.00. My daughter in law's mother bought wooden letters of our granddaughter's name and painted them. They're hanging on the wall for all to see. My needlework is hanging behind the bedroom door. I am waiting for my son to ask why I didn't do one for their son. Guess what I'll tell him.....lol.


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## shenklaw (Jan 13, 2012)

I have had the same thing happen.If you knit for charity you will know you beautiful knitting will be used and appreciated! Your work is beautiful,sorry for the rudeness you had to endure !


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## rujam (Aug 19, 2011)

What a shame after all your lovely work.


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## Valjean (Jul 21, 2011)

It's a shame your beautiful outfits are not appreciated,I really don't know what's wrong with the young ones these days...


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## grandmatimestwo (Mar 30, 2011)

That is so unfortunate! Your sets are adorable.


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## windowwonde28941 (Mar 9, 2011)

Part of the reason I only knit for my children.
I think all of have been there with you .


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## AnnMarieK (Dec 12, 2012)

Been there...it's very sad...but I still make....not sure what happens to sweaters/blankets that I've sent.


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## clumberug (Jul 29, 2015)

Well, we like your work!


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## passionblu (May 9, 2011)

I know exactly how you feel. Your work is wonderful and I wish I had your talent.


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## chand (May 11, 2014)

I can fully understand your sentiments.My cousin's DIl had baby girl. Both me and my cousin were excited about the coming of new member in the family.I knitted baby blanket , shawl onesies rompers dresses and christening gown for the baby.To date neither me nor my cousin have seen baby waring anything made by me or all the sewing outfits made by my cousin.Sadly both of us have stopped knitting and sewing for the baby. I live in UK and my sister in USA. The cost of materials and posting is nothing compared to the time spent on making the gifts and the love and affection with which these gifts were made.


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## pfoley (Nov 29, 2011)

I would definitely remind her that you made her three hats and why cant she wear those. Did she outgrow them; find out? Something like that will drive you crazy.


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## louisezervas (Jun 28, 2011)

What a shame! Your outfits are beautiful.


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## msusanc (Apr 5, 2011)

After experiences like that, I only knit for myself and my 12-year-old grandson who gets a green and gold hat (he's a huge Packers fan) every Christmas. They're always a different pattern and he loves them. Occasionally I will knit something like a scarf for teen-age GD but only if she asks for a specific one. 

Another situation I found interesting is this: My daughter in law is from Uganda. In such developing countries they don't want anything handmade, apparently because they make so many of their things themselves. They like shiny, fancy, store-bought things. So no knitting for that family, either.


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## Sissy14 (Jul 4, 2012)

very nice you do good work


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## Sissy14 (Jul 4, 2012)

very nice you do good work


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## inishowen (May 28, 2011)

I knit for my three grandchildren, but I never see the oldest granddaughter wear anything. She's nearly 4 and always asks what I'm knitting, and who it's for. I gave her a lovely soft, striped sweater a few months ago, and it hasn't seen the light of day. I can't understand it because it fits her, and the weather is cold now.


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## apette (Mar 15, 2012)

I recently made a sweater for my girlfriend's first grandson because she asked for it. It's been about a month and haven't received any pics or even a thankyou from her son, whose child it was for. It's very sad.


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## pinkeyelash (Aug 13, 2015)

Why didn't you ask, when she said she had no bonnets. "where are the ones I made for You" she may have forgotten. 
I had stuff given that was too big for my babies thst I carefully put away & only discovered again after they were grown out of. Baby brain can make mums forgetful!


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## Ann745 (Oct 29, 2012)

Lovely outfits. I don't blame you for feeling bad. Perhaps in time she will come around.


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## luvrcats (Dec 7, 2014)

Such disregard for lovely, lovely gifts! No, do not crochet anything else for her--and that is a shame for the baby! I, too, am tired of knitting gifts and never even receive a thank you! Too bad you can't retrieve the outfits and donate them to a charity that WOULD appreciate your efforts and love.


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## Julianna P (Nov 18, 2013)

Anytime you give a gift there is a chance the receiver will not like/appreciate it. Maybe she prefers bold geometric patterns to traditional baby colors in traditional patterns. I try to ask before I make anything. We all want our items to be loved and enjoyed but most people don't appreciate handmade.


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## saukvillesu (Jan 10, 2013)

desertcarr said:


> The outfits are beautiful. Unfortunately it seems to be too common that such work is not appreciated. It's happened to me and I know how much it hurts. I knit only for those who appreciate my work.


Even if the receiver doesn't take pictures, or we get to see the person in our item, I wish at least that I'd get some feedback later so I know whether it was appreciated. With one gift to SIL last spring, I enclosed a note saying "if you can't (or won't) wear this for any reason, please return it. No questions asked. It will be forwarded to someone else or donated." I did get it back. She said it just didn't fit her well, so I sent her a gift card. More impersonal, but at least she got something she wanted. And for all the socks I gave last Christmas, I received no feedback from most of the relatives, so although I am still making socks, don't think they will get any, unless I can find out if they do like and wear them. It is frustrating to put so much work into something and never hear of it again. Ok. I used your post to vent a bit. But many of us can relate!


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## Anna Mae (Jul 28, 2015)

Both outfits are beautiful and I am sorry they were not appreciated. I hope Becca's mother at least saves them for her and that one day Becca will be able to tell you how beautiful they are.


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## carolyn28562 (May 6, 2011)

Your work is beautiful and I know that feeling. Some people look at a handmade item like its a flea market find. They don't understand the time, cost, talent and love that goes into making the special.


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## Wroclawnice (Apr 10, 2015)

They are beautiful outfits. But this young generation they don't appreciate as much as we do. I agree with you by giving to someone that does. We all learn our lesson.


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## Aunty M (Jul 7, 2014)

The outfits are very beautiful. Sorry you haven't seen them on the baby.


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## knitwit42 (Apr 23, 2011)

Maybe you can ask your sister if she's ever seen the baby wearing any of the items you knitted.


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## Beachgirl1000 (Sep 29, 2015)

desertcarr said:


> The outfits are beautiful. Unfortunately it seems to be too common that such work is not appreciated. It's happened to me and I know how much it hurts. I knit only for those who appreciate my work.


I feel the same way. 
I don't knit for anyone unless I know that they appreciate hand made items. Many young moms today have different taste than we might. My DIL and son will be starting a family soon, and when she is pregnant I will just ask her if she wants hand-knitted things, and if she says yes, I will ask about colors she prefers. Maybe even let her pick the pattern from photos. Then I'll just go with the flow.


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## LindaDH (Mar 4, 2013)

Both sets are beautiful. I have almost never seen a photo of garments I have knit on a baby. What is wrong with these mothers?


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## cgcharles (Feb 23, 2011)

Kids today don't appreciate hand made. I stopped making items for my kids.


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## Windbeam (Jul 31, 2011)

So sorry, you make beautiful items. Know the feeling though. I knit for myself most of the time. Then up donating them.


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## paramour (Nov 21, 2015)

Yup. Me too. Been there. Crocheted a nice afghan for my daughter years ago. Saw it in the dog bed one visit. Made me sad. But at least the dog loved it! For what it's worth...


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## jonibee (Nov 3, 2011)

Did you ever ask your sister whether or not Becca has worn the outfits. Perhaps she may have a picture of her wearing them..


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## Rag doll (May 30, 2013)

I have found that a lot of young people do not sent thank you notes let alone a phone call thank you. When this happens, they no longer receive gifts from me. Your knitting is beautiful and I feel for you.


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## virginia42 (Mar 13, 2011)

Those are beautiful. Thank goodness my daughters appreciate what I make. You should knit for someone who appreciates it.


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## sophianurse (Aug 8, 2013)

You have done wonderful job! I just wanted to say that only people who know how much work is needed and how much love is putten on a handmade work can appreciate knit or crochet projects . The other people maybe they find them vintage and want something that has been bought . It is a consumers society . That doesnt mean they dont love you or that they didnt appreciate them . They just cant undrestand the love that you have putten to them . They are wonderful knitting though .


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## hotske (Aug 27, 2011)

There is no excuse for rudeness and the only attitude we have control over is our own. I have knitted for family, friends and charity. Once it leaves my hands I have learned to let go. It's hard to give to those who don't seem to appreciate the love behind the gift. Bottom line is we knit because we love it and because we love the ones we knit for. There are plenty of charities who love knitted items, knit for them. Your work is beautiful by the way.


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## LynneC (Nov 1, 2011)

So sorry that you have an ingrate who is blind to your beautiful work.


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## Grandma11 (Jan 21, 2012)

Very nice


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## Rainebo (Apr 22, 2012)

Such beautiful sets! I'm sorry they weren't appreciated.


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## attycasner (Apr 25, 2013)

luree said:


> They are so beautiful . What a shame . Sorry that they don't appreciate good knitting .


and that is good knitting
:thumbup:


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## sgreene (Feb 7, 2015)

The pink ensemble is stunning. You are so talented. We have all been burned like this. At least you now know to stop knitting for that family.


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## gsbyrge (Jul 12, 2011)

Part of the problem with many youngsters is they were never taught the etiquette of thank you notes. I have a good texting relationship with my granddaughters, and usually receive an immediate text thanking me for whatever I've sent them. They also thank me on Facebook. On the other hand, the mom of my 3 greatgrandkids rarely acknowledges gifts - but she did post a photo of her youngest in the dress I made for her, so.....


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## KathyG1000 (Nov 9, 2015)

Sets are gorgeous. Know what you mean, knit quite a bit for a relative who commented it must be nice to be able to save money by knitting. Possibly people who don't do hand work have no idea of how much effort, thought, and love goes into each piece.


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## sarahknitter (Sep 19, 2015)

Wow! If that was my child I would put her in the pink set and show her off. The yellow is lovely too. I am sorry they were not appreciated. Many people today are not able to appreciate anything for itself, it is only the brand name that makes a thing desirable, or if other people have it then they want it.


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## dachsmom (Aug 23, 2011)

They are all beautiful. Maybe she simply didn't think to send a picture.


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## suzannejef (Feb 8, 2012)

I know how you feel. I spent a lot of time and put a lot of love into making a whole box of things for my new grandson. I visited this past weekend and had to ask my daughter I law for one of the blankets I had made to take a picture of the baby with it. I have no idea what happened to everything else I made. She insisted on washing and drying the blanket before I took the photo, (I had already washed and dried it before I mailed it just a short time ago.) I made tiny little mittens also, and they disappeared shortly after I gave them to her. She has yarn, (exactly the same kind I made a blanket with) sitting waiting for her to make a blanket. I feel like mine weren't good enough. Or maybe I just need to realize that some people are so wrapped up in themselves they don't appreciate what others do for them. OK my venting is done.


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## clumberug (Jul 29, 2015)

I will be trying this out for my twin grandchildren, at Xmas, a hat for each in their school colors


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## 13068 (Mar 23, 2011)

That's a shame, but your knitting is just beautiful. Maybe she misspoke and in a back handed way was thanking you for making the bonnets? Anyway, some people are like that, just keep looking forward and moving on! Your work is beautiful!


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## suehoman (Apr 24, 2011)

Your baby clothes are beautiful! I've experienced the same thing with ungrateful recipients, and it always stings. I always remember one particular mom who didn't acknowledge my lovingly made offering in any way - her baby's theme (who knew!) was 'Night of the Living Dead.' Needless to say, nothing I made was 'appropriate' - kinda put it all in perspective for me. Keep knitting!


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## Cilscreations (May 8, 2011)

Your work is beautiful and I'm sorry it wasn't appreciated.
After reading all the other posts I think I can top everyone about not having handmade items appreciated.
My neighbor is 85 today; she was widowed at age 47. Nobody and I do mean NOBODY can get along with her, but my husband and I have tried very hard to be her friend and help her with all her problems all these years. 
She started demanding what I should give her for her birthday and Christmas presents several years ago. I kept making things for her at her request (even selecting the yarn I was to use), but her look of disappointment with each item showed on her face--right before she told me things like, "Oh, you knew I didn't have a green coat, I thought you would make me one" or "I thought you were making me a white doily for my table" and the ever hurtful one, "I don't want/need another scarf" and the even more hurtful one, "What should I do with that? I don't even like it" 
Yes, I make all my clothes, including coats, but why would I take the time, effort, and treasure to make her a coat when she would just tell me how much she dislikes it? And the doily she wants is for her kitchen table and the size she needs is (according to her) at least 2 feet across. She complains constantly that she has nothing to do each day, yet when I call to invite her to go shopping she takes her time getting ready and only wants to go the stores where she wants to go and not to the stores where I need to go. 
Yesterday I gave her a birthday/Christmas gift, an amaryllis plant that I had purchased for myself. She didn't like it either, but at least I didn't waste my time and money making something for her that she didn't appreciate.
Life is too short--and getting shorter every day--to let thoughtless people ruin what you have left.


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## liz morris (Dec 28, 2014)

I know my DIL appreciates the things I used to make for the granddaughters. She noticed and was kind enough to send me a little kit for Mothers Day, some tie-on labels, a stamp pad and a little rubber stamp that said on it "Knitted with Love".

I will wait to see whether the Gypsycream Poppets I have made for three little girls receive any acknowledgement. I'm pretty sure that one will, and that one my neighbour's granddaughter, but my great-nieces .... Who knows?


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## JLEIGH (Apr 1, 2011)

The outfits you made are beautiful. So sorry that you haven't received at least a "thank you". I knitted a baby blanket for a step-niece's baby girl. ...Haven't heard a word. Wouldn't even know they received it, except other family members were there when she opened it. They said she liked it. Oh well. I remember for my first baby, they had a baby shower at work for me. I was so thrilled, I went right to the store after work and purchased "thank you cards" and that night I wrote them all out. They were delivered to my co-workers the following day! Times have changed!


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## Beachgirl1000 (Sep 29, 2015)

Cilscreations said:


> Your work is beautiful and I'm sorry it wasn't appreciated.
> After reading all the other posts I think I can top everyone about not having handmade items appreciated.
> My neighbor is 85 today; she was widowed at age 47. Nobody and I do mean NOBODY can get along with her, but my husband and I have tried very hard to be her friend and help her with all her problems all these years.
> She started demanding what I should give her for her birthday and Christmas presents several years ago. I kept making things for her at her request (even selecting the yarn I was to use), but her look of disappointment with each item showed on her face--right before she told me things like, "Oh, you knew I didn't have a green coat, I thought you would make me one" or "I thought you were making me a white doily for my table" and the ever hurtful one, "I don't want/need another scarf" and the even more hurtful one, "What should I do with that? I don't even like it"
> ...


So does this mean you will stop volunteering for this neighbor's verbal abuse? I hope so!


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## Clay Lady (Jan 16, 2012)

Your work is beautiful; maybe the child who never wears the outfits will save them for her daughter...

It is disappointing when your efforts are not appreciated or even thanked.

Five years ago I knitted a pink baby blanket for my girl friend's SO's daughter's baby shower. With only 1 week notice on the invite for the baby shower, I dived in. After knitting for 70 hours to get this blanket done in time, it was presented.

Never a "thank you", either at the shower or in the subsequent years when we see each other at get togethers; well, al least I still have the trigger fingers I developed during the 70-hour knitting marathon.


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## kdpa07734 (Nov 10, 2015)

Ask your sister for pics in the outfits... Or at least confirm she wore them. My sons first wives were irresponsible and took everything for granted. I kept my son's baby blankets and heirlooms until recently (they're 39 and 31). Their baby mamas just didn't care about anything and I knew everything would be ruined and lost forever. Very few care about heirlooms anymore and it breaks my heart to see them dispose of things with so much love made into them.


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## annsull (Oct 15, 2012)

Your items are beautifully made. As someone already said some people just want store bought. And has been mentioned in posts past, babies are being dresses in little adult styles as soon as possible these days. I'm afraid what you have made is no longer in vogue. The "not thanking" is a different issue!


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## Cilscreations (May 8, 2011)

By my calculations she won't be around much longer as she has really started to lose it this year. 
Also, I've started to tell her that it isn't a good idea to wear anything "you wouldn't be caught dead in" and that she should get up each day and get all fixed up so she is ready all the time for guests to arrive or to accept invites to go somewhere. Other than me neither of those scenarios is likely to happen.
She hasn't paid any attention to my suggestions, and she probably never will. One of her sons lives 3 hours away and treats her nicely, as does his whole family down to and including his grandchildren. Unfortunately for her the other son lives in our town and treats her badly, as does his family down to and including his grandchildren. 
Every time she has an emergency need I am the one contacted. I guess this is my charity contribution. 
I can only hope when she passes and the house is sold we will get a great new neighbor moving in. Maybe we will luck out.


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## Cookie1955 (Aug 10, 2015)

Love both sets!! I know it hurts to be snubbed like that. Young people today have much to learn about manners, that's for sure. I remember a couple of years ago, I worked for months to make pullovers for my two daughters. My older daughter took one look at hers and said, "oh thanks Mom, but I would NEVER wear something like this". I'm sure it went into a charity bin the next day. Needless to say, I haven't made a thing for her since.


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## Shannon123 (Mar 9, 2012)

Cilscreations said:


> Your work is beautiful and I'm sorry it wasn't appreciated.
> After reading all the other posts I think I can top everyone about not having handmade items appreciated.
> My neighbor is 85 today; she was widowed at age 47. Nobody and I do mean NOBODY can get along with her, but my husband and I have tried very hard to be her friend and help her with all her problems all these years.
> She started demanding what I should give her for her birthday and Christmas presents several years ago. I kept making things for her at her request (even selecting the yarn I was to use), but her look of disappointment with each item showed on her face--right before she told me things like, "Oh, you knew I didn't have a green coat, I thought you would make me one" or "I thought you were making me a white doily for my table" and the ever hurtful one, "I don't want/need another scarf" and the even more hurtful one, "What should I do with that? I don't even like it"
> ...


She's beyond difficult! You're a saint for even trying after all these years. One thing I've learned is that "No." Is a complete sentence.


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## mthrift (Jan 2, 2012)

Hi. Your work is lovely. Hands down. But, I have to say the "classic baby colors", as we have known them, may not be what the young mothers want or use now. Wearing your things with her friends may be "old-fashioned" to her. 
I was told by my daughter for her friend with a new little boy, that the mother liked browns. & tans & grays & greens & darker blues....stripes... etc, no classic "baby" colors, as I have known them. She also liked animal hats, & funny, cute things like that! I have learned to ask, so I am not disappointed, or hurt, or have not wasted my time with that particular person. This is a new generation. I am so sorry your lovely work & sentiments are not appreciated. Not the end of the world, but it DOES "pinch" a lot.


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## addictedtoknitting (Feb 2, 2012)

Sounds like my daughter-in-law also. I have made so many knitted outfits that it broke my heart to never have seen them on our grandbabies. Maybe you need to have a heart to heart chat with her. She probably doesn't have a clue as to how much time and effort it takes to make these items. Tell her how you feel. Also, ask her what she would like to have made for her child.
I had that very same chat with my oldest daughter-in-law. She had no idea how hurt I was not seeing my hard work on her children. I also asked her what she would like for me to knit them and she sent me a photo of the mermaid tail and asked me to make that for all 5 grandchildren. I've done 2 so far and because 2 out of the 5 children are boys, I will be crocheting a shark tail for the oldest and a crocodile one for the younger boy. I know they will use them for family movie night.

Because I had this conversation with my daughter-in-law, we have taken the steps to move forward. Life is just too short to stay angry with anyone. You just never know when your time will come to meet our Maker and haven't found forgiveness before that time. "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us."

I hope this is helpful.


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## justinjared (May 31, 2012)

beautiful sets. I made my new daughter -in-law 6 sets in knitting and crochet. the baby wore 1 sweater. I no longer knit for her.


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## Bonnie7591 (Nov 15, 2011)

AlderRose said:


> I know what you mean. I've spent hours making sweaters and quilts and have not heard one word or seen them used. It is a pity that these young people don't appreciate the time, skill and love that goes into hand made gifts.


Yes, I think some equate home made with cheap.
I made a quilt 2 Christmases ago for my GD, it still hasn't been on her bed & before long they will probably get her a bigger bed than her twin  
I spent lots of time& $$ making a Cars quilt for GS at DILs request & it was replaced after one year never to be seen again
I've also made many sweaters & DIL gushes about them being lovely but I never see them worn. Then if I ask, Oh, they are now too small I'm about to give up


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## Bonnie7591 (Nov 15, 2011)

mollyb44 said:


> Remember last summer when I was doing all that knitting and crocheting
> for my sisters son and daughter-in-law? They had been waiting for 18 years to have a baby, she has had multiple miscarriages. She had the baby, a little girl, Becca. Well, I have yet to see her in ANYTHING that I have made. She had said that she didn't have any bonnets for Becca to wear now that it was getting cold. Well, the yellow sweater set had a bonnett, the pink sweat set had a bonnett, the owl cocoon had a hat to match it and I made her two winter hats that I shipped up later.
> DONE!!! Not making anything else for her. She will be growing out of the yellow and the pink sweater outfits soon and no picture of her wearing them..........


They are beautiful sets & as someone else suggested I'd ask if they were used & if not request them back so you can gift to someone who does appreciate them.


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## Marly (Dec 5, 2012)

mollyb44 said:


> Remember last summer when I was doing all that knitting and crocheting
> for my sisters son and daughter-in-law? They had been waiting for 18 years to have a baby, she has had multiple miscarriages. She had the baby, a little girl, Becca. Well, I have yet to see her in ANYTHING that I have made. She had said that she didn't have any bonnets for Becca to wear now that it was getting cold. Well, the yellow sweater set had a bonnett, the pink sweat set had a bonnett, the owl cocoon had a hat to match it and I made her two winter hats that I shipped up later.
> DONE!!! Not making anything else for her. She will be growing out of the yellow and the pink sweater outfits soon and no picture of her wearing them..........


Beautiful outfits, good job. I have found that a lot of young people DO NOT like knitted items. I made some baby items for a baby shower and the girl thanked me at the time, but no thank you cards to anyone. This is something these young people do now adays, sad, so sad, but we have to go along with the flow I guess. Now I only make a couple of items like a blanket, hat & booties, they get nothing else hand knitted. You might still get a photo of the baby with one of your knitted items.


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## liliacraftparty (Aug 27, 2014)

so sad, everything is so beautiful, cute and most important made with LOVE.


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## catmum (Nov 9, 2015)

A shame. They're beautiful.

I've made booties for various colleagues in the past years. Very often on short notice because they informed us the day before they would be visiting us in the office.
The last time was a few months ago (and never agan, that's for sure). Bought nice merino baby yarn after work, got started and made 2 pairs till the wee morning hours (once I start knitting... :wink: )

She didn't even have the grace to open up my gift during the office baby shower. She "knew it would be booties anyway".

That hurt. So how much more must it hurt when this ignorance comes from family.

That's why I also only do it for charity or e.g. The Recovery Buddies group. I know there it will be appreciated.


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## turtle58 (Mar 1, 2014)

Suggestion: wait until the child is old enough to ask for something. My DiL doesn't appreciate anything handmade, but Jere [GS now 13yrs]knows to ask and I'll make anything for him. Handmade quilts, sweaters, hat/caps,scarves. But for him. Not her. 
I have the feeling "handmade" sounds cheap and we know they aren't. Another suggestion: wrap handknits in "expensive" paper and attatch a label. Makes them look...not handmade by family member...


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## Dlclose (Jun 26, 2011)

desertcarr said:


> The outfits are beautiful. Unfortunately it seems to be too common that such work is not appreciated. It's happened to me and I know how much it hurts. I knit only for those who appreciate my work.


I agree. My daughter is this way. But she seemed pleased with the blanket I made for her colleague's new baby! I just don't get it! Any of the toys I make the grands get to keep. But the clothes my daughter never puts on them!


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## Galaxy Knitter (Apr 12, 2015)

I'm a beginner and I am making my first sweater in a class at Newbury Yarns, 2 Milk Street in Boston, MA. It is for me. Then I hope to make my husband one, since he asked for a sweater. Originally he wanted one first, but I explained to him that I am just a beginner, and my mom made my dad a sweater when she was going to Smith College, and he was at Penn State Univ. I told DH that it took a year for my mom to make him a sweater. DH thought I could make him a sweater in a few weeks. Incredible!!! My first sweater is all stockingnet stitch, and it has a k1p1 for 3 inches around the bottom, and I am so worried that it is going to make me look fat, or pregnant because I have a large waist, even though I work out at a gym, and go swimming, and lift weights. I'm 55, and I can't understand how my arms and legs could be trim, but my stomach is so fat. I never ever had a baby either. So I just don't understand it.


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## Sunny70 (Jul 25, 2014)

The are so nicely done and beautiful! It's a shame, I might just say something. She has the nerve to say she needs bonnets when made some I would remind her of the ones you made and see what she says then!


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## mjoan44 (Feb 7, 2011)

I have had that happen too. It is very discouraging when you put so much time and love in things. Hopefully, you have just missed seeing her wear it; but she should send you pictures.


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## Shdy990 (Mar 10, 2011)

I agree with that. But had to tell you an experience I had with my great niece. I made her a sweater on her birthday for 10 years and made the comment I never saw her in anything or a pictures. Part of that is she would put it on for an occasion and after everyone saw it she took it off and put it in a bag. She said she isn't going to get it dirty. The last time I heard she had two she carried in a bag and would show people how nice they were and not get them dirty. She appreciated them, but not how we would think by wearing them. She has every one stored in a drawer from when she was a baby.


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## knitteerli (Jun 3, 2015)

I wonder if they are afraid to put the garments on because they do not know ow to launder knitted items, or perhaps they have had a laundry mishap. I annot believe, though, what people pay for mass produced crap, but disdain beautifully crafted made with love items. 

My friend knits for her grandchildren in S Korea. When the family visit, she asks her daughter in law to pick out any outfit she'd like her to knit. the DIL always sends her pictures of the children wearing the outfits,and tells her that all her friends want one, too, and often people in the street ask her where she got them and would this person knit for them.

And knitting is definitely not a cheaper option these days. Even cheaper yarns are not so cheap these days, and if you consider the time, who could afford them if charged for labour? Buy from a big store and everyone and their dog is wearing it, personally knitted items trump mass produced every time.


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## SquidgeWA (Apr 28, 2015)

I would have sent her a card stating "I have hand-made X hats as part of outfits I sent you for Baby. I'm sure you've simply forgotten them." And yes: Not one stitch more.


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## raindancer (Aug 19, 2012)

Well, all of your items are so very lovely! How I would have loved and treasured each item when I had my child 56 years ago. What has happened to young people-it beats me that many of them have not been taught common courtesy! I finally stopped giving to one set of grandchildren because I never received a thank you, a birthday or Christmas card from them and they are now ages 29, 26, 21. I am done doing anything for them. I do have 2 grandchildren that do appreciate anything you do for them and who also do for me! Guess who gets gifts now!

I am so sorry that your work may not have been appreciated. I would however ask them point blank about whether any of the items were used and liked. Then you will know for sure and can cross them off your giving list.

Since I enjoy knitting and crocheting, I do a lot of it for children in 3rd world countries who are very happy to receive any little thing! The web site for that is:
http://www.knitting4peace.org/


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## Paula - Sussex UK (Mar 26, 2011)

mthrift said:


> Hi. Your work is lovely. Hands down. But, I have to say the "classic baby colors", as we have known them, may not be what the young mothers want or use now. Wearing your things with her friends may be "old-fashioned" to her.
> I was told by my daughter for her friend with a new little boy, that the mother liked browns. & tans & grays & greens & darker blues....stripes... etc, no classic "baby" colors, as I have known them. She also liked animal hats, & funny, cute things like that! I have learned to ask, so I am not disappointed, or hurt, or have not wasted my time with that particular person. This is a new generation. I am so sorry your lovely work & sentiments are not appreciated. Not the end of the world, but it DOES "pinch" a lot.


Couldn't agree more. I have just knitted for three step-grand nephews (work that one out!) and step-grandson aged 1, 1, 5 and less than one a dark green with rust, brown and cream fair isle sweater, a navy and light blue hoodie and a tan sweater. Now trying to finish a cream with rust, brown and black fairisle. I have sought the likes of their Mums in advance and know they will meet the bill. But I was knitting in grey, navy and khaki for my son over 30 years ago - I would never have dressed him in trad baby colours so maybe I was before my time. But that doesn't distract from the fact that your handiwork is exceptionally good and I do sympathise with you.


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## Cookie1955 (Aug 10, 2015)

raindancer said:


> Well, all of your items are so very lovely! How I would have loved and treasured each item when I had my child 56 years ago. What has happened to young people-it beats me that many of them have not been taught common courtesy! I finally stopped giving to one set of grandchildren because I never received a thank you, a birthday or Christmas card from them and they are now ages 29, 26, 21. I am done doing anything for them. I do have 2 grandchildren that do appreciate anything you do for them and who also do for me! Guess who gets gifts now!
> 
> I am so sorry that your work may not have been appreciated. I would however ask them point blank about whether any of the items were used and liked. Then you will know for sure and can cross them off your giving list.
> 
> ...


Thanks so much for that link! That is a wonderful idea!!


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## Ann Heistad (Jan 18, 2012)

Those outfits are beautiful, her loss. At least you did not find your items being used for dog beds, which did happen to me.


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## Annie S (Sep 6, 2011)

I know exactly how you feel! That's why I now donate my knitting....toys, hats, scarves, blankets....to charities, raffles, etc. At least in my heart I know the items will be appreciated (check out, Mother Bear Project....the smiles on these children's faces when they receive the bears (easy pattern) will wipe away any discouragement!)


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## bundyanne07 (Aug 24, 2014)

Some people just don't appreciate items they are given by others - especially by family members. Too often I feel 'family' are just taken for granted.
Glad you are not going to make anything more for this ungrateful lady.


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## scumbugusa (Oct 10, 2011)

What beautiful outfits.

I'm sorry that your work is not appreciated by this mother.

Take care and knit for yourself


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## Metrogal (Mar 15, 2011)

Why don't you ask her to send you a picture?


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## aknitter (Jan 25, 2011)

That is so sad. I am sorry that you have had that experience. Your work is simply beautiful.


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## Mamainastitch (Feb 12, 2015)

Such a shame.


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## amma59 (May 12, 2011)

mollyb44 said:


> Remember last summer when I was doing all that knitting and crocheting
> for my sisters son and daughter-in-law? They had been waiting for 18 years to have a baby, she has had multiple miscarriages. She had the baby, a little girl, Becca. Well, I have yet to see her in ANYTHING that I have made. She had said that she didn't have any bonnets for Becca to wear now that it was getting cold. Well, the yellow sweater set had a bonnett, the pink sweat set had a bonnett, the owl cocoon had a hat to match it and I made her two winter hats that I shipped up later.
> DONE!!! Not making anything else for her. She will be growing out of the yellow and the pink sweater outfits soon and no picture of her wearing them..........


I think there are many people like her.Your baby sets are absolutely beautiful and well made.


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## CaroleD53 (Aug 7, 2012)

I have to say, I'm selective about who I knit for. I know there are some friends and relatives who would not put hand knits on their children. However, I do knit for those I know appreciate such items and always receive a thank you from them. In the last few weeks I've gifted three little cardigans and every one of the mums has thanked me. One has even had the cardi on the baby although it's a little big and has sent a photo to me on Facebook. I don't waste my time if I feel they won't be worn.


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## teannia (Nov 27, 2011)

Beautiful items! I would have loved to have them and in any color when my daughter was born 22 years ago. I couldn't knit then and my mother had stopped due to arthritis. In fact, I love looking at old pictures of my brother and I dressed in my mothers knits. Poor women doesn't have a clue. Her loss!


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## sdresner (May 31, 2014)

Everything is beautiful ....maybe you need to ask if there was something wrong


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## teannia (Nov 27, 2011)

CaroleD53 said:


> I have to say, I'm selective about who I knit for. I know there are some friends and relatives who would not put hand knits on their children. However, I do knit for those I know appreciate such items and always receive a thank you from them. In the last few weeks I've gifted three little cardigans and every one of the mums has thanked me. One has even had the cardi on the baby although it's a little big and has sent a photo to me on Facebook. I don't waste my time if I feel they won't be worn.


Feeling and doing the same. One little 6 year old friend of mines loves the items I make and wears them to visit me and I see many pictures of her on facebook. I love making things for her.


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## RosD (May 24, 2014)

Beautiful work and I'm sorry that they weren't appreciated. &#128158;


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## 9sueseiber (Oct 29, 2011)

It is a puzzler. But, I knew, it had to be some other reason than not being appreciated. My GD is very appreciative. However;

I knitted a whole plastic tub full of baby clothes and bibs and hats and booties. The booties are the only things I seen the baby wear, plus one of the blankets, that was being used for her to lay on the floor with. That was fine with me. At least she was using it.

I stewed and fretted over this, as it was very NOT understandable. This is the GD that really appreciates my knitting, and yet she never uses them. So one day it was just me and her here, and I asked her in a nice way, why? Why? Why haven't you used the things I have made for her? Oh yes, she did use the bibs also. 

Anyway, her answer was said in a teary voice, that, yes she loved everything I made. But Grama, if I use them on her they might get spit up on and maybe stain them or something else might happen to them, if the baby wore them. I said, but it's OK if stuff happens. That's part of using something. At least they would be worn. But she wanted to save them, and show the girls when they grew up. I also made a host of things for my first GGD and the only thing I seen her wear was a cute little skirt and top. I seen this in a picture on Face Book. Which would be fine if I lived hundreds of miles away. But she lives 2 miles down the road from me. Which that 2 miles is mostly a gravel road, very narrow, dusty in the summer and muddy in the winter. She hates that road and I do too, but---- she drives on it for other things. Now I'm not complaining about my GD. She is a very loving and caring young woman, especially to me. And none of this was intentional on her part. Her boyfriend never takes her anywhere, that she feels is good enough for the nice things that I have made for them all, including Jessie(GD) and Gary, her boyfriend. Although all I have made him are hats. He doesn't like sweaters or anything the least bit "unmanly" haha So I do understand how she feels, but I would still rather see the things on them, while I'm here to share in it. 

So, it's not always a bad reason, that they don't wear them or play with them or whatever. Like Jessie, your relations might have a good reason too. But they could at least put them on and take a picture of it. Last Xmas, I insisted on pictures being taken of whatever i had made, and that, WITH THEM ON. Hope this helps a little bit. My feelings were saved, but would still like to see the things used. But her heart was in the right place. I have just took up knitting in the last 4 years, so of course she doesn't have anything from her child hood that I made. So she wants her two girls things I made kept nice. A long story I know, so will stop now.

Oh, one other thing. My GD does have her doll collection. I started getting her collectors dolls for her, starting at the age of seven or eight. I got one for every Birthday and one for every Xmas, and she is so very proud of them. So, at least she has that. My GS, Jeff has a collection of Dragons and Fairies, the woodsie type of fairies, and she has her dolls. And GGD's have my knitting things. 
Sue


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## williesmom (Feb 16, 2012)

I already weighed in, agreeing that most people are unappreciative. But, recently someone I thought was unappreciative revealed he truly loved the quilt I made for him at his mother's request from his old T-shirts at least 5 years previous. It's not always because children aren't brought up to say thank you, or write thank you notes, either. I made my kids sit down after every birthday and Christmas, and write notes. They are both adults now, and don't write notes, say thanks on facebook, or even call their mother to thank her (me!) They were raised right, but in today's society, even adults my age (late 50's) often lack manners. That's considered old fashioned, I guess. So maybe all those gifts we give ARE appreciated, but we don't see the appreciation. Once you give it as a gift, it's not yours anymore anyway.


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## OResmerelda (Jan 16, 2015)

mthrift said:


> Hi. Your work is lovely. Hands down. But, I have to say the "classic baby colors", as we have known them, may not be what the young mothers want or use now. Wearing your things with her friends may be "old-fashioned" to her.


I thought of this as well. Your outfits are absolutely lovely but I've heard so many new parents say they won't put their baby in pastels. My nephew and GF wanted only black (yikes!) or very bright, saturated colors for their little girl.

I guess, as others have mentioned, it's best to ask about colors in advance.


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## Shdy990 (Mar 10, 2011)

They knew how to launder, it was the kid who just wanted them to stay perfect. At one time they were talking about making them into a quilt, no idea how, but don't know if it went anywhere. She probably wouldn't give them up.


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## cainchar (Dec 14, 2012)

redquilter said:


> That pink set is just gorgeous. Are you sure the mother never put the items on the baby? Maybe she did but never thought to take a picture to send to you. I would ask her if she has used them, because if not, I'd like to donate them someplace. But, that's me. I never have a problem asking questions like that.


My thought exactly- if she doesn't appreciate them, someone else will! And someone who isn't lucky enough to have a loving family member to make them for her!


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## CarlaLG (Apr 1, 2015)

Yes, I hear your frustration. My friend wanted a fisherman knit afghan so I made her one and gifted it. It was very time consuming AND expensive too. About a year later I got in her van to go somewhere with her and nearly died when there on the floor and under her cocker spaniel was the afghan. Never, never again. Oh, before that she asked for help with a big bed cover for her daughter. Now granted it was a muslin with a thick batt and sewn in large squares and just tied and she paid for it but she cannot sew a stitch...a year later the cover was headed to goodwill so she could modernize the room. Grrrrr. Some of us are slow learners.


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## CarlaLG (Apr 1, 2015)

Yes, I hear your frustration. My friend wanted a fisherman knit afghan so I made her one and gifted it. It was very time consuming AND expensive too. About a year later I got in her van to go somewhere with her and nearly died when there on the floor and under her cocker spaniel was the afghan. Never, never again. Oh, before that she asked for help with a big bed cover for her daughter. Now granted it was a muslin with a thick batt and sewn in large squares and just tied and she paid for it but she cannot sew a stitch...a year later the cover was headed to goodwill so she could modernize the room. Grrrrr. Some of us are slow learners.


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## tweeter (Dec 22, 2012)

very pretty


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## joycevv (Oct 13, 2011)

Sometimes new parents feel overwhelmed and don't take as many pictures as relatives would like. Too bad, I'm sure your grand niece would look adorable in those outfits!


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## Jill Erin (Jan 12, 2014)

The first time I give a gift - and especially a hand knit gift - and I don't get a thank you or any other show of appreciation - that person comes off my gift giving list forever. I have been through that pain several times and enough is enough. I have a non blood relative family that I love making beautiful knit gifts for because I always get gushy written thank you notes - especially from the young children. They are being taught that by their parents. A family member who I gave some expensive gifts to never even acknowledged receiving the gifts. I had to ask, weeks after they should have arrived. Once you experience the joy of a grateful reception for your gifts you will never go back.


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## LinJurm (Aug 4, 2011)

Your outfits are so lovely! They should have been perfect for this long awaited girl. Sorry for the rudeness of others.


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## knit and sew (Jan 24, 2013)

I have 3 grandsons and their partners that have had babies the latest 3months ago for the baby showers I sent a box each with cardigans , bootees bonnets blankets and a lot more stuff and I have never seen any of them in anything I have made, the oldest of them is going on 3 and her mother is expecting a little boy in February next year but I am so disappointed with them that I don't have the inclination to knit anything for this new baby. Knit and Sew


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## jmf6406 (Dec 13, 2012)

This has happened to many, many, many of us Most of us now only knit or crochet for people who ask for things. People know I knit and crochet, so if they don't ask, they don't get anymore. I just go to whatever online gift registry they have and get them a modestly priced manufactured piece of junk.


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## jaml (Feb 4, 2011)

Beautiful sets! Too bad that people cannot express some thankfulness after so much time and love have gone into making things for them.


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## Joan L (Nov 5, 2012)

And they are so darling! When my kids were babies I always dressed them in any handmade gifts they were given and sent the giver pictures of them in them if they were far away. They got to see how the gift fit and that they were appreciated.


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## Lalane (Aug 23, 2011)

I agree some young people don't appreciate homemade gifts, which is sad. I would be Done too.


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## Heartseas (Aug 30, 2011)

Your work is Beautiful. Have you mentioned it to your sister?

About 15 years ago I made a full baby set for a friend's son and D-I-L and I posted it to them. My friend couldn't knit. Anyway I asked my friend if they got the parcel and she said yes they got it but they told her those kind of things were out of fashion these days. I mentoned to my friend that they didn't let on they got it and she said she would thank me for them. But, that's not right. It just goes to show that some young people are not brought up right. 

BUT my grandson's mates and his wife's relatives all thank me for what I have made them for their babies


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## Maxine R (Apr 15, 2011)

mollyb44 said:


> Remember last summer when I was doing all that knitting and crocheting
> for my sisters son and daughter-in-law? They had been waiting for 18 years to have a baby, she has had multiple miscarriages. She had the baby, a little girl, Becca. Well, I have yet to see her in ANYTHING that I have made. She had said that she didn't have any bonnets for Becca to wear now that it was getting cold. Well, the yellow sweater set had a bonnett, the pink sweat set had a bonnett, the owl cocoon had a hat to match it and I made her two winter hats that I shipped up later.
> DONE!!! Not making anything else for her. She will be growing out of the yellow and the pink sweater outfits soon and no picture of her wearing them..........


Thats very sad, all the nice work and they don't seem to appreciate it. I'm on your side.


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## nannee (Mar 12, 2011)

I'm sorry, I know a lot of love and thoughtfulness went into making the items
They are lovely... that's exactly why I just knit for myself.


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## nananitter (Jul 4, 2015)

I have had many people not acknowledge my gifts (even threw them away a doily they were too lazy to restarch after washing). But my ex sil did use everything I made for her girls and even had portraits done wearing what I made them. I used to make baby blankets to have on hand, as I worked at a school district any there was always a baby on the way. Any way, one day I received a very nice card from a stranger in a different city in my state. When I told my husband, he said "oh yeah, I gave one of my clients one of your blankets for their first baby"..wow sometimes strangers are more appreciative because they are not expecting it.


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## mthrift (Jan 2, 2012)

I just think people have preferences. Kids do , too. Some like hand-knits. Actually prefer them. There are more young knitting, now, than before. My daughter, as a small child did not like me to make her things. She liked bought like her friends. She is much better now, but I ask first.... get the color first, etc & the design... ask her what she wants. Anthropologie has lots of hand-knits sweaters this Winter. She loves that store. Maybe check what they are up to. Lots of cables & Wool & Ponchos of all sorts.


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## Nanimal (Dec 14, 2011)

Ask her if she liked the sets, if she used them, and if you can have pictures of her in the outfits. She might be so caught up in finally having a babe in her arms that she doesn't realize that she hasn't thanked you.


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## charliesaunt (Apr 22, 2011)

So sad when people aren't appreciative.


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## Hannelore (Oct 26, 2011)

I understand how you feel, but maybe the sets are worn even though you don't get photos with the baby wearing them. I made lots of outfits and such for both my grandchildren and never saw the items being worn, but I was told that they had had them on during the week. Maybe this is what is happening with the things you have made as well.


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## Jannette Burke (Nov 21, 2014)

Just like my daughter. I now refrain from making anything but afghans and quilts - the only thing she appreciates, not for her but the girls who love and wants them. They have no store bought blankets - all made by grandma. Make your niece fleece blanket to cover the stroller should you wish the little one to have something special.


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## Jojo61 (Aug 11, 2014)

Pretty,pretty outfits,make for those who appreciate , sorry your family doesn't .


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## Jean williams (Nov 11, 2014)

Did someone acknowledge receipt of these beautiful outfit?


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## knitteerli (Jun 3, 2015)

I think a knitted set says how much someone loves the babe! What's wrong with people that they would rather have a big retailer's love of their money than a real granma's love in every stitch?


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## Schlooney (Oct 12, 2013)

I wonder if they would they appreciate them more if they knew how long and how much it costs for someone to produce such beautiful work. Maybe just haven't got the time or interest to wash them properly. To me babies and children looked so loved when they are in handmade clothes.


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## mthrift (Jan 2, 2012)

knitteerli said:


> I think a knitted set says how much someone loves the babe! What's wrong with people that they would rather have a big retailer's love of their money than a real granma's love in every stitch?


You are so right, but people are all so different. Their "preferences" so different. We feel & love in different ways. Our priorities are so different. We get hurt, often, when we expect & want from others, what they cannot give to us. We want them to be like us, & love what we made for them. We expect & want them to appreciate us & the love that we give to them. We get so disappointed when they do not. The younger generation comes with a different set of wants/needs/desires... often very clear & strong-minded about it.....some love hand-made things, & treasure them, & some do not. It can be very hurtful & disappointing when they do not, after a lot of love & effort has been made. I have just learned to ASK....as unappealing as that might be. It saves us all a lot of trouble. I do not want to spend time, energy, money, love, expectations for something that cannot come true. Just WON'T come true. I also want to save them the time of re-gifting or donating what they did not like or want. I did not make it to be donated to someone else. I have just found this to be true. Reality is harsh sometimes. They just may not like what I like, my choices. I cannot control or change that, no matter how much it might hurt. SO, I ask.


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## momforthree (Nov 10, 2011)

mollyb44 said:


> Remember last summer when I was doing all that knitting and crocheting
> for my sisters son and daughter-in-law? They had been waiting for 18 years to have a baby, she has had multiple miscarriages. She had the baby, a little girl, Becca. Well, I have yet to see her in ANYTHING that I have made. She had said that she didn't have any bonnets for Becca to wear now that it was getting cold. Well, the yellow sweater set had a bonnett, the pink sweat set had a bonnett, the owl cocoon had a hat to match it and I made her two winter hats that I shipped up later.
> DONE!!! Not making anything else for her. She will be growing out of the yellow and the pink sweater outfits soon and no picture of her wearing them..........


Your work is beautiful! And I hear you...


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## mollyb44 (Nov 11, 2013)

I am amazed at all the responses that I received. It seems to happen to everyone, not having their work appreciated. All it takes is a little picture, heck, they can take it with their cell phone, after all the cell phone is ALWAYS with them. then they can just send it with a little note, look how beautiful so-& so looks in the beautiful outfit you made her. or so & so just loves the outfit you made her/him. Is this asking too much? No, I don't think so.
I'm ranting again, Sorry.
Your are right, this is why I donate most of my work to the hospitals, homeless shelters, senior center, and such. Their is always someone who appreciates what they can get.
I don't even want to sell my work, because no one wants to pay the price it's worth, I'd rather give it away to the needy.
Ok, I'm done! LOL


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## mthrift (Jan 2, 2012)

I wish it were not so, but appreciation & gratitude are virtues that need to be CULTIVATED. You need to teach your kids to say "thank you", be polite, & act in a socially acceptable ways, be aware of others feelings, etc. My mom made me write thank you notes, before I could play with the toy or wear it. It began young.
GRATITUDE is in the ways of creating Happiness in your life. It also has to be a MINDFUL practice that becomes a HABIT. Myself, as well, as all adults have to stop & think about it, even in small things, until it becomes this good habit. Everyone will be happier when they do. Maybe, the recipients have not developed to that point yet, even though maybe they should know better..... or maybe, as someone mentioned, they are buried in "new baby" demand & being so very, very tired. I just know we are ALL deeply lovable & annoying. Not saying thank you, showing gratitude, is part of the annoying.


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## Hazel Anne (Jul 24, 2011)

This is a very common. I have knittted items for friends babies and never ever seen any of the babies wearing them. It is sad that one spends lots of time, effort in making these items as well as lots of love that goes into them, but they are not appreciated. I now do not knit for any friends any more. If I make baby clothes I then send them to various charities who always are in need of them.


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## elida russell (May 7, 2011)

Her loss.


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## elida russell (May 7, 2011)

Her loss.


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## GA Gal (Feb 26, 2013)

It's not just knit and crochet items that are not appreciated ( I do both). I machine embroidered burp clothes, bibs, soft toys and helped the Grand Mother (my sister) make a large quilt - for a new great nephew this June. His Mom has NOT thanked me for anything, has not used them and Sis and I had to hang the quilt on the bedroom wall to preserve it from the cats and other children! Never again I say!!


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## NanBasKnit (Oct 4, 2013)

annacovasa said:


> Your work is beautiful! And I hear you...


She says it perfectly! Your knitting is first class. I think this sort of thing happens to most of us.


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## mollyb44 (Nov 11, 2013)

yes,and she claims to love home made articles.


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## mollyb44 (Nov 11, 2013)

jonibee said:


> Did you ever ask your sister whether or not Becca has worn the outfits. Perhaps she may have a picture of her wearing them..


My sister lives in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida. A long long distance from Jamestown, NY. I feel bad for my sister because she has been wanting a grandchild for many years. All her friends were grandparents for many years while she was a grandparent to her sons 2 dogs, Now that she FINALLY has a grandchild, she is thousands of miles away and only gets to SKYP with them every Sunday. The other grandparents ( who do nothing for them) gets to see Becca and hold her all the time. She supports them, sends them money every month ( she has been doing this for years) because they can't seem to support themselves. Too busy spending their own money on tattoos, cigarettes, and chewing tobacco, She has made them co-dependent on her. However, she is very controlling and I guess this way she gets to know what they are doing at any given moment, Honestly, when she takes them on vacation, they stay in a one bedroom time share. she goes down to the pool to give them privacy so can have an afternoon delight. I would NEVER do that to my children. They don't like her being to so controlling, but she pays for EVERYTHING and they are not going to bite off their nose to spite their face (?) is that the saying?? You know what I mean. Her son had told my daughter once, a long time ago, that his mother OWED HIM. WHAT !!!!!! she OWES YOU? He has such an attitude too. He thinks he knows everything, He is very smart, but he never put to good use. dropped out of college (mom paid student loan or is still paying on it - for both son AND daughter-in-law. I think this is how she believes that she is keeping him close to her. I think it's sick. Ok, enough trashing on my baby sister. Sorry!! It's just that it is so WRONG it gets to me. I wish she would open her eyes and let them loos to get along on their own. They are 41 and 42 and now with a little and he can't support his own family. Yes, he has had jobs, but they were nothing jobs and that would never go anywhere. He is also very lazy. His house (that mommy bought) looks like a dump. He does no work on it. When he painted the babies room, he painted the windows shut. too lazy to take the windows out and do it properly.
Ok, I'm finished. Sorry, I know it's not to trash ones own family, but !!!!!


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## MarilynKnits (Aug 30, 2011)

Hey, if you need to vent, this is the best place. You are among friends, many of whom are familiar with the sort of situation you describe.

Don't feel so sorry for your sister.

That may sound harsh coming from a stranger. I can read into your post that she never taught her son to earn his privileges making him think everything is due him. She seems to have created the monster. She is lucky to have a sister like you who will listen to her and be kind to her.

My BIL was the golden child. DH had to work for everything, including his allowance. If his dad promised him anything (notably if he got into college he would be given a car), DH had to get a signed document to be able to hold him to it. PS. He got into college and had a free ride with a full scholarship that included books. No money for his college from his folks, everything was saved for the little prince who ended up flunking out of engineering school after one semester. Golden boy ended up being what can only be described by the Yiddish term, a shlepper. DH and I met our freshman year and have always thought out decisions together and lived prudently. Had as much fun with a boat we got used and rebuilt as anyone ever had with an expensive yacht. We have a modest little house that suits us instead of a McMansion with three times the property tax and an "image" to maintain.

Bottom line, not having everything handed to him made DH appreciate all the good things that did come his way. BIL remains sour and discontented despite MIL giving him money for his house among other items.

You have the class and sense to know what is what. Good for you.



mollyb44 said:


> My sister lives in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida. A long long distance from Jamestown, NY. I feel bad for my sister because she has been wanting a grandchild for many years. All her friends were grandparents for many years while she was a grandparent to her sons 2 dogs, Now that she FINALLY has a grandchild, she is thousands of miles away and only gets to SKYP with them every Sunday. The other grandparents ( who do nothing for them) gets to see Becca and hold her all the time. She supports them, sends them money every month ( she has been doing this for years) because they can't seem to support themselves. Too busy spending their own money on tattoos, cigarettes, and chewing tobacco, She has made them co-dependent on her. However, she is very controlling and I guess this way she gets to know what they are doing at any given moment, Honestly, when she takes them on vacation, they stay in a one bedroom time share. she goes down to the pool to give them privacy so can have an afternoon delight. I would NEVER do that to my children. They don't like her being to so controlling, but she pays for EVERYTHING and they are not going to bite off their nose to spite their face (?) is that the saying?? You know what I mean. Her son had told my daughter once, a long time ago, that his mother OWED HIM. WHAT !!!!!! she OWES YOU? He has such an attitude too. He thinks he knows everything, He is very smart, but he never put to good use. dropped out of college (mom paid student loan or is still paying on it - for both son AND daughter-in-law. I think this is how she believes that she is keeping him close to her. I think it's sick. Ok, enough trashing on my baby sister. Sorry!! It's just that it is so WRONG it gets to me. I wish she would open her eyes and let them loos to get along on their own. They are 41 and 42 and now with a little and he can't support his own family. Yes, he has had jobs, but they were nothing jobs and that would never go anywhere. He is also very lazy. His house (that mommy bought) looks like a dump. He does no work on it. When he painted the babies room, he painted the windows shut. too lazy to take the windows out and do it properly.
> Ok, I'm finished. Sorry, I know it's not to trash ones own family, but !!!!!


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## michaelena (Dec 14, 2011)

Such a crying shame, I was always brought up to appreciate handmade work because I use to see my mom knit and sew all the time. I would send a picture of what you gave her and say, "These don't fit anymore?" See what her reaction is. What's wrong with kids? Thank you cards? How long does it take. I've bought coats and clothes and never see any of them on the kids. I made my daughter those cute berry hats in all colors and didn't see not one on my granddaughters. She has three girls. I thought I did better with bring up my daughter but.....well, your not alone, say what's on your mind, don't let it go. Good luck


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## rujam (Aug 19, 2011)

michaelena said:


> Such a crying shame, I was always brought up to appreciate handmade work because I use to see my mom knit and sew all the time. I would send a picture of what you gave her and say, "These don't fit anymore?" See what her reaction is. What's wrong with kids? Thank you cards? How long does it take. I've bought coats and clothes and never see any of them on the kids. I made my daughter those cute berry hats in all colors and didn't see not one on my granddaughters. She has three girls. I thought I did better with bring up my daughter but.....well, your not alone, say what's on your mind, don't let it go. Good luck


Years ago my husband had an aunt like that, everything we bought her. be it an ornament whatever, would be put away in drawers. We bought her a beautiful blouse and never saw her wearing it. The following year we gave her a lovely hand embroidered cardigan(No I didn't knit it ), and I said to her that if we didn't see her wearing it, we would take it back. After that she wore it every time she visited.


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## mollyb44 (Nov 11, 2013)

Thank you everyone for understanding and letting me vent. I texted my sister tonight about not seeing Becca in any of my hand made outfits. She was making excuses for them. She said that they can't remember who gave them every outfit. Um, excus me, I'm the only that gave them hand made outfits. Her son does no wrong in her eyes. One of these days she will wake up and see what she created. 
Midnight here in New England, sweet dreams.


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## RP1019 (May 23, 2014)

My heart breaks for you. So sorry she does not seem to understand what a precious gift you have given to the baby. 
I can't understand people who do that when it would take so little to be appreciative.


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## gail-11 (Jan 3, 2013)

That is a shame. Unfortunately, I know how you feel.
My nephew and wife had a baby girl a few weeks ago. I made two little cardis. Not heard a peep from them. Seen loads of pics on FB of the baby, but no thank you and certainly no pictures of her wearing them. They are family in England. As I live in the US now, I had to post them and just that cost a bit, let alone the time and effort to making them.
It is sad the way they are these days.


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## inishowen (May 28, 2011)

gail-11 said:


> That is a shame. Unfortunately, I know how you feel.
> My nephew and wife had a baby girl a few weeks ago. I made two little cardis. Not heard a peep from them. Seen loads of pics on FB of the baby, but no thank you and certainly no pictures of her wearing them. They are family in England. As I live in the US now, I had to post them and just that cost a bit, let alone the time and effort to making them.
> It is sad the way they are these days.


Are you sure they've received them? It's early days for mum to write thank you notes too. Maybe just mention on facebook that you wonder if they've arrived yet.


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## nmclaire (Mar 15, 2013)

The sets are beautiful. Too bad they are not worn.


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## rujam (Aug 19, 2011)

When my son was in hospital years ago with pneumonia, the nurses said they had no jackets to put on the babies so I took 7 that I had made him. They said I wouldn't be able to get them back, hospital policy, but I never saw him nor any of the other babies wearing them.


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## michaelena (Dec 14, 2011)

Well, I'm glad you asked her, hopefully you put her in a spot. No more knitted things for her. I bet the baby would of looked adorable in them too. I'm from Maine


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## gail-11 (Jan 3, 2013)

I know they arrived because I sent them to my sister before the baby was born. She gave them to them.
ps. 
the baby was born in October. Think they have had time to reply.


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## gail-11 (Jan 3, 2013)

:thumbup:


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## gail-11 (Jan 3, 2013)

They don't even need to do that!
FB is plenty good enough for me.


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## soneka (Feb 8, 2011)

You do such beautiful work, too. I never saw my grandson in the sweaters I made him, either. A sadness.


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## LisePB (Feb 19, 2011)

in future gifts, we should all say: I expect a picture in exactly 2 days; and if you don't send me one I will know that you did not appreciate what I made for you. Period


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## karend1 (Apr 27, 2011)

She also sounds like my daughter in law, and nieces.
I have made many outfits, blankets and none have been used.
Stopped making and my oldest granddaughter get a sweater only if she tell me exactly what she wants


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## yona (Feb 7, 2011)

Beautiful outfits..... there are so many babies who would truly love to wear these gorgeous outfits and go home with nothing from the hospital.


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## mollyb44 (Nov 11, 2013)

Cilscreations said:


> By my calculations she won't be around much longer as she has really started to lose it this year.
> Also, I've started to tell her that it isn't a good idea to wear anything "you wouldn't be caught dead in" and that she should get up each day and get all fixed up so she is ready all the time for guests to arrive or to accept invites to go somewhere. Other than me neither of those scenarios is likely to happen.
> She hasn't paid any attention to my suggestions, and she probably never will. One of her sons lives 3 hours away and treats her nicely, as does his whole family down to and including his grandchildren. Unfortunately for her the other son lives in our town and treats her badly, as does his family down to and including his grandchildren.
> Every time she has an emergency need I am the one contacted. I guess this is my charity contribution.
> I can only hope when she passes and the house is sold we will get a great new neighbor moving in. Maybe we will luck out.


This sounds just like my daughters neighbor. She is 95 and a hoarder. Dorrie will go over and try to help her clean and the lady just yells at her and accuses her of stealing things. Dorrie will cook extra and bring it over to her. No thank you. My grandson will go over also and the lady will yell at him and tell him to do things with no thank you after. My daughter will still go over even though she gets abused by this lady. I think it is because they are old and miserable because all their live they received no love from their own family. So they have become mean and bitter. God bless people like you and Dorrie who care about their elderly neighbors and try to help out as much as you can to make their lives a little more easier, you know that if you stopped going over, she would miss you.


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## mollyb44 (Nov 11, 2013)

gail-11 said:


> They don't even need to do that!
> FB is plenty good enough for me.


FB would good for me too, but nothing. 
She received a sweater dress ( store bought) and uggs from some one and she posted a picture of Becca in the outfit and couldn't say enough about much appreciated it. I was so hurt. I had to respond to her comment. I was nice but I also got in my dig. I said " really cute, I know they appreciated the picture." I am done.....I will not make another thing. Well, maybe until next year when she turns 1. There is this adorable crocheted dress and floppy hat I just have to make. LOL


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