# Feel sorry for me???



## babyjax (Sep 6, 2013)

Last year, when I was a beginner knitter, I made a scarf for my husband. He wanted 100% cotton since he believes he can't wear wool (even tho I tried to educate him about the 'modern' wools), and he selected a pattern that, at the time, seemed complicated (double basket). It was TRULY a pain to make. As many of you know, cotton has no 'give' so it puts a strain on the knitter's hands, plus he wanted to be able to wrap it several times. As he is a tall fellow, this meant it had to be mighty long. But I persevered...labor of love and all, and when it was finished he just loved it. Sounds great, right? Wouldn't you know that after wearing it only three times, he 'lost' it, probably on the train, or at his office, or some restaurant... or who knows? That's bad enough, but now he has asked that I make another as a Christmas gift. Aargh! Now, I am compelled to put aside the lovely shawl I hoped to finish this month, and return to a mindless, relentlessly boring, and seemingly endless project for the love of my life, and work furiously and madly to finish this tedious item! Feel sorry for me???? LOL, I do!!


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## blessedinMO (Mar 9, 2013)

babyjax said:


> Last year, when I was a beginner knitter, I made a scarf for my husband. He wanted 100% cotton since he believes he can't wear wool (even tho I tried to educate him about the 'modern' wools), and he selected a pattern that, at the time, seemed complicated (double basket). It was TRULY a pain to make. As many of you know, cotton has no 'give' so it puts a strain on the knitter's hands, plus he wanted to be able to wrap it several times. As he is a tall fellow, this meant it had to be mighty long. But I persevered...labor of love and all, and when it was finished he just loved it. Sounds great, right? Wouldn't you know that after wearing it only three times, he 'lost' it, probably on the train, or at his office, or some restaurant... or who knows? That's bad enough, but now he has asked that I make another as a Christmas gift. Aargh! Now, I am compelled to put aside the lovely shawl I hoped to finish this month, and return to a mindless, relentlessly boring, and seemingly endless project for the love of my life, and work furiously and madly to finish this tedious item! Feel sorry for me???? LOL, I do!!


Hmmm..tough call. :lol: I'm glad I don't have to make the decision.


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## Slidell411 (Sep 29, 2013)

My hubby used to want me to knit a gift every time someone at his work got pregnant, even though he hardly knew them. I complained that I didn't want to put in the time to make gifts for people I didn't even know and were not friends of ours. He said whats the difference that I knitted all the time anyway. I just said I'm not doing it and he quit asking. At first I did and they'd tell him to thank me. Never did I get a note or phone call to say thanks.


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## jmcret05 (Oct 24, 2011)

If he likes cotton, why don't you try some 100% organic cotton, which is soft, or make it from bamboo or any soft blend. Better yet, take him to a LYS and let him pick (and feel) the yarns and select the one he wants.


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## blessedinMO (Mar 9, 2013)

Slidell411 said:


> My hubby used to want me to knit a gift every time someone at his work got pregnant, even though he hardly knew them. I complained that I didn't want to put in the time to make gifts for people I didn't even know and were not friends of ours. He said whats the difference that I knitted all the time anyway. I just said I'm not doing it and he quit asking. At first I did and they'd tell him to thank me. Never did I get a note or phone call to say thanks.


I would do the same. Good for you.


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## gamce (Nov 17, 2013)

Slidell411 said:


> My hubby used to want me to knit a gift every time someone at his work got pregnant, even though he hardly knew them. I complained that I didn't want to put in the time to make gifts for people I didn't even know and were not friends of ours. He said whats the difference that I knitted all the time anyway. I just said I'm not doing it and he quit asking. At first I did and they'd tell him to thank me. Never did I get a note or phone call to say thanks.


You made the right decision. He was using you for his own gain. You set your boundary. He didn't understand that your skill is your passion and art, not mindless or busy work.


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## Moisey (Mar 17, 2013)

I really think that people who "lose" things easily should wait in line behind other projects to be finished first, before placing their Christmas wishes, which places you under pressure to "please" them. Maybe you could place some knitting needles into his hands & let him try knitting the scarf so he knows the effort to produce one, & will be more caring about where he places his next garment after removal.
You could knit one up in a "modern" wool more quickly and ask him to trial it for one day only and check for any allergies, as a compromise for your sake.
Apart from that, I have a feeling that the scarf could be rolled up in a coat pocket hanging in a closet nearby and you should check that out before starting over again.
Just a thought.
Cheers
Moisey


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## Yarnie.One (Jul 13, 2012)

babyjax said:


> Last year, when I was a beginner knitter, I made a scarf for my husband. He wanted 100% cotton since he believes he can't wear wool (even tho I tried to educate him about the 'modern' wools), and he selected a pattern that, at the time, seemed complicated (double basket). It was TRULY a pain to make. As many of you know, cotton has no 'give' so it puts a strain on the knitter's hands, plus he wanted to be able to wrap it several times. As he is a tall fellow, this meant it had to be mighty long. But I persevered...labor of love and all, and when it was finished he just loved it. Sounds great, right? Wouldn't you know that after wearing it only three times, he 'lost' it, probably on the train, or at his office, or some restaurant... or who knows? That's bad enough, but now he has asked that I make another as a Christmas gift. Aargh! Now, I am compelled to put aside the lovely shawl I hoped to finish this month, and return to a mindless, relentlessly boring, and seemingly endless project for the love of my life, and work furiously and madly to finish this tedious item! Feel sorry for me???? LOL, I do!!


 I think you might be a lot nicer than I am.

Would he object to your using an acrylic yarn, since it would be so much easier to work with? Can you make it with a bulky yarn -- maybe make it just a little narrower?

Seems to me that he ought to give a little on this as you've already done him a huge favor by making the first one. Not to actually punish him, but he ought to concede a bit as a part of bearing the responsibility for his part in losing it.


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## audlox (Jul 11, 2012)

PERHAPS, YOU SHOULD PUT IDENTIFYING INFORMATION ON THE REPLACEMENT SCARF ( NAME AND PHONE NUMBER) LIKE THE WAY KIDS HAVE TO LABEL THEIR "STUFF" IN SCHOOL....THEN YOU CAN CARRY ON WITH NEW PROJECTS.- IT JUST MIGHT WORK !


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## bettyirene (Apr 5, 2012)

Get him the yarn and needles and teach him to make it.


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## gamce (Nov 17, 2013)

babyjax said:


> Last year, when I was a beginner knitter, I made a scarf for my husband. He wanted 100% cotton since he believes he can't wear wool (even tho I tried to educate him about the 'modern' wools), and he selected a pattern that, at the time, seemed complicated (double basket). It was TRULY a pain to make. As many of you know, cotton has no 'give' so it puts a strain on the knitter's hands, plus he wanted to be able to wrap it several times. As he is a tall fellow, this meant it had to be mighty long. But I persevered...labor of love and all, and when it was finished he just loved it. Sounds great, right? Wouldn't you know that after wearing it only three times, he 'lost' it, probably on the train, or at his office, or some restaurant... or who knows? That's bad enough, but now he has asked that I make another as a Christmas gift. Aargh! Now, I am compelled to put aside the lovely shawl I hoped to finish this month, and return to a mindless, relentlessly boring, and seemingly endless project for the love of my life, and work furiously and madly to finish this tedious item! Feel sorry for me???? LOL, I do!!


This is a hard call; it involves love from you to your husband, love of you from your husband and a true appreciation of your loving labor. 
It also involves a question; is he careless or distracted all the time with his things or not? If he is, then maybe he needs to wait for you to finish your present shawl first; that can lead to him understanding how important it is to be careful. Only you know the answer to this.
Good luck. 
It's very possible that someone, maybe even a co-worker, may have stolen his scarf.


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## babyjax (Sep 6, 2013)

Ha ha. I doubt that I am nicer than you, Yarnie! And he did concede that choosing a bamboo/silk blend this time would improve the likelihood that it might be finished by Christmas. I am just confessing to this forum that, though I am willing enough to re-make this scarf for him, I really, REALLY wanted to finish the shawl I've been working on to wear at our neighborhood Christmas party on Saturday. That's not going to happen!


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## babyjax (Sep 6, 2013)

Audlox: I love this suggestion!


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## Gypsycream (Nov 23, 2011)

Poor you, I don't like knitting scarves, tedious springs to mind lol!

When you get it finished I suggest you sew it around your husbands neck so he can't lose it!


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## mungie32 (Apr 21, 2013)

You're quite justified in feeling sorry for yourself. I feel for you too.



babyjax said:


> Last year, when I was a beginner knitter, I made a scarf for my husband. He wanted 100% cotton since he believes he can't wear wool (even tho I tried to educate him about the 'modern' wools), and he selected a pattern that, at the time, seemed complicated (double basket). It was TRULY a pain to make. As many of you know, cotton has no 'give' so it puts a strain on the knitter's hands, plus he wanted to be able to wrap it several times. As he is a tall fellow, this meant it had to be mighty long. But I persevered...labor of love and all, and when it was finished he just loved it. Sounds great, right? Wouldn't you know that after wearing it only three times, he 'lost' it, probably on the train, or at his office, or some restaurant... or who knows? That's bad enough, but now he has asked that I make another as a Christmas gift. Aargh! Now, I am compelled to put aside the lovely shawl I hoped to finish this month, and return to a mindless, relentlessly boring, and seemingly endless project for the love of my life, and work furiously and madly to finish this tedious item! Feel sorry for me???? LOL, I do!!


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## ohsusana (Jun 24, 2012)

Gypsycream said:


> Poor you, I don't like knitting scarves, tedious springs to mind lol!
> 
> When you get it finished I suggest you sew it around your husbands neck so he can't lose it!


My thoughts too :lol: :lol:


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## CamillaDesertMouse (Mar 19, 2011)

I feel your pain.

I knitted my husband James a pair of beautiful socks in a soft beige.. the pattern I used was a zig zag to make them a bit more masculine ... after 2 wearings he blew a hole in the heel? ARGH! not bad enough ..
He wanted some felted clogs.. so again I purchased pattern, pure wool leather soles and after a week finished felted and he loved them.
They are almost totally destroyed with as it seems he is hard on socks and felted clogs.
I am heart sick so now he wants more slippers???
I have a hard time thinking about it much less making more.
After all I did not make myself the felted clogs .. sigh

I so feel your pain.


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## Jessica-Jean (Mar 14, 2011)

There are all kinds of men. 
Mine _requested_ that I use yarn I had bought - before I ever met him and with a specific project in mind - to knit him a sweater. 
_He chose_ a shawl-necked cardigan from my few pattern books. 
He thought that plain stockinette was too plain, so _he chose_ an all-over-the-fronts Sand Dunes cable pattern from my stitch book.
_He tried it on_ as it grew.
The day it was finally completely finished - buttons securely sewn on with backing buttons, buttonholes buttonhole stitched, every last end of yarn woven in - he put it on - didn't even button it up or look in a mirror - just took it off and told me to take it apart and remake it just a tad larger!!
Well, my youngest sister has been wearing it for the last 40 years and doesn't care that it buttons 'wrong' for a woman. 
My darling is still waiting for a sweater from my needles. It'll be a cold day in ....


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## Palenque1978 (Feb 16, 2011)

blessedinMO said:


> Hmmm..tough call. :lol: I'm glad I don't have to make the decision.


blessedinMO, you made me laugh. No disrespect intended.


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## Palenque1978 (Feb 16, 2011)

Jessica-Jean said:


> There are all kinds of men.
> Mine _requested_ that I use yarn I had bought - before I ever met him and with a specific project in mind - to knit him a sweater.
> _He chose_ a shawl-necked cardigan from my few pattern books.
> He thought that plain stockinette was too plain, so _he chose_ an all-over-the-fronts Sand Dunes cable pattern from my stitch book.
> ...


Way to go, Jessica-Jean!! You are my hero with regards to knitting, now... I have another reason to hail you.


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## Palenque1978 (Feb 16, 2011)

Moisey said:


> I really think that people who "lose" things easily should wait in line behind other projects to be finished first, before placing their Christmas wishes, which places you under pressure to "please" them. Maybe you could place some knitting needles into his hands & let him try knitting the scarf so he knows the effort to produce one, & will be more caring about where he places his next garment after removal.
> You could knit one up in a "modern" wool more quickly and ask him to trial it for one day only and check for any allergies, as a compromise for your sake.
> Apart from that, I have a feeling that the scarf could be rolled up in a coat pocket hanging in a closet nearby and you should check that out before starting over again.
> Just a thought.
> ...


I agree with Moisey, fit his scarf in when you can. Don't drop everything to make him one for Christmas... how dare him??!! I usually have several items on needles at any given time... I would take my time making him another ... as time permits and eventually he would have it again. I'd also make the same pattern. After all, you don't want to burn your bridges behind you; he's your husband... inconsiderate or ignorant that he may be regarding the time and energy needed to make it all over again (bless his male heart). No disrespect to your hubby; it's just that non-knitters have no idea what it take to knit an item.

And, bottom line, I do feel sorry for you.


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## Dreamweaver (Feb 1, 2011)

Jessica-Jean said:


> There are all kinds of men.
> Mine _requested_ that I use yarn I had bought - before I ever met him and with a specific project in mind - to knit him a sweater.
> _He chose_ a shawl-necked cardigan from my few pattern books.
> He thought that plain stockinette was too plain, so _he chose_ an all-over-the-fronts Sand Dunes cable pattern from my stitch book.
> ...


You are definitely a lady after my own heart!!!! I'm lucky, DH hates anything pulled over head and does not wear sweaters.. even the mohair cardigan I made him when I first learned to knit. He won't throw it out or give it away, but I don't think it has ever been on body...


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## Dreamweaver (Feb 1, 2011)

Babyjax.... Your project should have stayed at the head of the line.... The scarf could go in the box in ANY stage and finished on YOUR time schedule. He can be cold one more week.... a small price to pay for losing the first one...


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## Lynney (Aug 21, 2013)

I agree!!!!


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## Hilary4 (Apr 26, 2012)

Tell him your new year resolution for 2013 was to finish the current project before starting a new one, and you are running out of time to fulfil this resolution.


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## no1girl (Sep 4, 2012)

No i dont feel sorry for you.....as Dr Phil said "there are no victims, only volunteers",

say NO "once is enough!


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## kiwiannie (Jul 30, 2011)

It's a good thing I am not his wife!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :thumbdown:


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## Nanny Mon (May 24, 2011)

I like the idea of giving him needles and yarn and let him knit it.


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## chrshnsen (Nov 7, 2011)

You really must take him to the most expensive LYS that you can find. Let him browse around and find the yarn that he likes the most - whatever fiber that turns out to be. But he will also see the prices on the yarn. It might make him be a little more careful about losing the next one.


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## Yarnie.One (Jul 13, 2012)

CamillaDesertMouse said:


> I feel your pain.
> They are almost totally destroyed with as it seems he is hard on socks and felted clogs.
> I am heart sick so now he wants more slippers???
> I have a hard time thinking about it much less making more.
> After all I did not make myself the felted clogs .. sigh


How about you make him some slippers with those slipper sox soles like they sell at Michael's? Maybe use a nylon re-inforcing cord like some put in the heel and toes of sox?


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## DonnieK (Nov 23, 2011)

If my husband was still with me, I would do whatever he asked of me, however, I would staple this one to his behind and put a I-cord that attached to his arms and nail the collar to his neck!!!!! What is he saying about the lost one? That he doesn't know where he lost it? Hmmmmmmm, if he didn't give much thought to hanging on to the first one, why would he hang on to this new one????


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## DonnieK (Nov 23, 2011)

I would also like to add that IF I decided to make him another one, I would have him sign in blood that he understood that if this one "disappeared" you would never, no, not ever, make him another one.


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## gillian lorraine (Aug 18, 2011)

Gypsycream said:


> Poor you, I don't like knitting scarves, tedious springs to mind lol!
> 
> When you get it finished I suggest you sew it around your husbands neck so he can't lose it!


 :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## hersh (Nov 7, 2011)

Jessica-Jean said:


> There are all kinds of men.
> Mine _requested_ that I use yarn I had bought - before I ever met him and with a specific project in mind - to knit him a sweater.
> _He chose_ a shawl-necked cardigan from my few pattern books.
> He thought that plain stockinette was too plain, so _he chose_ an all-over-the-fronts Sand Dunes cable pattern from my stitch book.
> ...


Good on you!


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## nanadee (Sep 16, 2011)

Hi Babyjax,

Life can be soooo frustrating. Perhaps you can take a picture of the pattern or one very simular, put it in a box and wrap it up with a note -to be completed!!!

Hope this helps.

  

Love to all,

Diane


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## babyjax (Sep 6, 2013)

You folks are plenty funny! I like the idea of stapling it around his neck. To be fair, he really did feel terrible about losing it. He liked being able to say (well, for a couple of days anyway!) that his wife made his scarf when people asked, so he does appreciate hand-made.....AND, he's an all around good guy who rarely asks for anything, so how could I say no?


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## Dreamweaver (Feb 1, 2011)

Saying no and saying "as soon as I finish my shawl" are not the same thing.......


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## Carole Murphy (Sep 17, 2013)

jmcret05 said:


> If he likes cotton, why don't you try some 100% organic cotton, which is soft, or make it from bamboo or any soft blend.
> 
> Better yet, take him to a LYS and let him pick (and feel) the yarns and select the one he wants.


Especially to a rather expensive yarn store, the price might make him rethink what he really needs . wouldn't work if money isn't a problem.
My hubby just asked for a scarf for this cold spell we've gone through. Didn't take me any time to whip one up from Lyon brand Homespun in plain knit stitch. 
I think he enjoyed telling me "Longer",I finally finished it at a good sixty inches , ended it and said "Here". Now he better wear it. haha.
I am just pleased that he actually asked for something.


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## Joy Marshall (Apr 6, 2011)

If you feel you must make it I would make a scarf on quite big needles so that it will go faster. It would, admittedly, be "holier" but you could even have less stitches on the needle.


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## montgal (Nov 1, 2012)

I would be thrilled he liked the old one that much.


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## Jessica-Jean (Mar 14, 2011)

'Infinity' scarves seem to be all the rage right now. They do have the advantage of being harder to lose than a 'normal' scarf. I don't see why a man can't wear one. Once it's over his head, he'd have trouble losing it, no?


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## run4fittness (May 22, 2011)

I guess he really liked the first one so much he wants you to make a second one! Can you read and knit at the same time? It will pass faster!


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## bettyirene (Apr 5, 2012)

Yarnie.One said:


> How about you make him some slippers with those slipper sox soles like they sell at Michael's? Maybe use a nylon re-inforcing cord like some put in the heel and toes of sox?


Maybe try steel wool (lol)


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## Jessica-Jean (Mar 14, 2011)

bettyirene said:


> Maybe try steel wool (lol)


Umm ... Lion Brand markets a stainless steel yarn: http://www.lionbrand.com/yarns/lbCollectionStainlessSteelWool.html


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## Lenewoo (Sep 22, 2013)

Oh, my goodness. I do feel for you.


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## MrsMurdog (Apr 16, 2013)

Just make sure when he leaves the house with the new one you tie it very tightly so he won't loose it. Ha Ha


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## gamce (Nov 17, 2013)

Jessica-Jean said:


> 'Infinity' scarves seem to be all the rage right now. They do have the advantage of being harder to lose than a 'normal' scarf. I don't see why a man can't wear one. Once it's over his head, he'd have trouble losing it, no?


Great idea, and if you made it in the same basketweave pattern he liked so much, you both win. Definitely take him to the LYS with you. Don't make the cowl too much circumference but you could make it a little deeper, so he'll get the warmth without so much of your time. Then on to your shawl. 
If he still wants a scarf, you can make it after the New Year.


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## damemary (Mar 14, 2012)

Pick a non-wool yarn you love. Maybe something silk with a lovely drape...maybe self-striping with colors you know he likes. You get the idea. (Maybe find a way to attach it to his coat like toddler mittens.) hugs from another knitter


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## blackat99 (Nov 4, 2011)

Nanny Mon said:


> I like the idea of giving him needles and yarn and let him knit it.


My thoughts exactly!


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## London Girl (Dec 18, 2011)

Just before my husband and I got married 45 years ago, I knitted my first ever whole garment for him, a v-neck slipover (tank?) in, for me, a quite complicated pattern. When I visited him decorating our new house, he was wearing it while painting a white ceiling.......yep we still got married but I never ever knitted for him again!!!!!


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## tamarque (Jan 21, 2011)

audlox said:


> PERHAPS, YOU SHOULD PUT IDENTIFYING INFORMATION ON THE REPLACEMENT SCARF ( NAME AND PHONE NUMBER) LIKE THE WAY KIDS HAVE TO LABEL THEIR "STUFF" IN SCHOOL....THEN YOU CAN CARRY ON WITH NEW PROJECTS.- IT JUST MIGHT WORK !


I had a similar reaction (LOL).


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## Munchn (Mar 3, 2013)

naw----- buy one this Christmas and start on a new one for next Christmas.


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## Knitish (Feb 8, 2011)

The scar may not be 'lost' for everyone!


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## fibersfibras (Dec 9, 2013)

Perhaps your husband gets happy seeing you knitting for him. That means he is the most important person for you that moment. Perhaps if you worked on his scarf when he is around and on other things when he is away. He will feel so loved and important for you. I think it is worth your work, your marriage and Christmas spirit. When I married over 50 years ago, my mothers advice was...I will have to translate it........If your husband is a bad man, close both his eyes, if he is a good husband just close one of his eyes..


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## ramram0003 (Nov 7, 2011)

Slidell411 said:


> My hubby used to want me to knit a gift every time someone at his work got pregnant, even though he hardly knew them. I complained that I didn't want to put in the time to make gifts for people I didn't even know and were not friends of ours. He said whats the difference that I knitted all the time anyway. I just said I'm not doing it and he quit asking. At first I did and they'd tell him to thank me. Never did I get a note or phone call to say thanks.


Plus, did they really enjoy the labor of love that went into the piece of art? I only like to knit for people that appreciate them.


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## SouthernGirl (Dec 28, 2011)

I think it's great that your husband wants another scarf. He likes your knitting. I agree with other suggestions that you could get a better fiber with which to knit it. Bamboo is great and so would be acrylic.


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## Lil Kristie (Nov 25, 2011)

Gypsycream said:


> Poor you, I don't like knitting scarves, tedious springs to mind lol!
> 
> When you get it finished I suggest you sew it around your husbands neck so he can't lose it!


Soounds like something my DD and I have said to my GDs.
LOL


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## Nancyn (Mar 23, 2013)

How about you get to finish your shawl and then do the scarf? Since he lost it, maybe he can wait a little longer for a new one.


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## Donnathomp (May 5, 2012)

At least now you have a whole year of experience
so it should go a lot faster this time


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## Bucketknitter (Jan 25, 2011)

I understand your dilemma. I think since this is a rerun due to his carelessness, I would get the yarn, wrap it up, give it to him with a note that this is an unassembled scarf with a commitment to finish it as soon as your current project is finished. It is a scarf--just unassembled.

Karen


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## John's old lady (Jul 14, 2012)

babyjax said:


> Last year, when I was a beginner knitter, I made a scarf for my husband. He wanted 100% cotton since he believes he can't wear wool (even tho I tried to educate him about the 'modern' wools), and he selected a pattern that, at the time, seemed complicated (double basket). It was TRULY a pain to make. As many of you know, cotton has no 'give' so it puts a strain on the knitter's hands, plus he wanted to be able to wrap it several times. As he is a tall fellow, this meant it had to be mighty long. But I persevered...labor of love and all, and when it was finished he just loved it. Sounds great, right? Wouldn't you know that after wearing it only three times, he 'lost' it, probably on the train, or at his office, or some restaurant... or who knows? That's bad enough, but now he has asked that I make another as a Christmas gift. Aargh! Now, I am compelled to put aside the lovely shawl I hoped to finish this month, and return to a mindless, relentlessly boring, and seemingly endless project for the love of my life, and work furiously and madly to finish this tedious item! Feel sorry for me???? LOL, I do!!


I saw a woman in Webs the other day wearing a beautiful two-tone shawl. I thought it was wool from the drape. When I asked her about it, she said it was bamboo yarn-the first thing she had ever made with it. Check out bamboo yarns or blends. Shouldn't have too many allergy probs with those. But FIRST finish your piece.
:thumbup:


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## niknmiasmom (Apr 8, 2011)

I love it that he wants you to make something for him and he wears it!! What a compliment!


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## Mem51 (Jan 6, 2012)

I find hobby lobby makes a beautiful 100% cotton that is soft and easy to work with and feels lovely!


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## Karen L (Feb 3, 2012)

I would explain how important wearing your shawl to the party is to him and say you would be happy to make him a new scarf if he will just be patient until your shawl is done. Maybe even ask him to help around the house so you have more knitting time. Making a scarf under stress will just make you hate the scarf every time you see it and nobody needs that. If he is as nice as you say, he should understand.


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## Anna3703 (Mar 4, 2012)

bettyirene said:


> Get him the yarn and needles and teach him to make it.


My thoughts exactly.....


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## simplyelizabeth (Sep 15, 2012)

The things we do for love!


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## Torticollus (Dec 3, 2011)

This is up to you, but, remember, you don't have to do anything you don't really want to do. Just be honest. Why couldn't he wear a soft acrylic instead of cotton in a lightweight fiber. If you re-make it, it would be easier on your hands. If he loses this one, he will be making the next one himself!


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## gypsie (May 28, 2011)

There are some wonderful soft cottons out there or bamboo that you wouk delight in working with. Why not look for one. Try knit picks.


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## Dsynr (Jun 3, 2011)

Palenque1978 said:


> Way to go, Jessica-Jean!! You are my hero with regards to knitting, now... I have another reason to hail you.


Add my kudos to JJ, too...
And men, they say, are from Mars. Personally, I think some of them are from another galaxy, far, far away....


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## Ronie (Jan 21, 2011)

you should just find a scarf pattern that is more interesting and fun to make.. that way he will have his scarf and you won't be board to tears.. I would suggest that you let him know that you have a project going and that a scarf would make a great Valentines gift!!! or Birthday gift.


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## past (Apr 3, 2011)

You can really think of this another way. He might not have lost it. Someone might have fallen in love with it and quietly slipped it out of his sight instead of his losing it. Also, it sounds like he liked the work you did on the one that disappeared since he has asked you to make him another to replace the 1st.
I agree with what some of the others have said and take him shopping for the yarn and let him feel the yarn against his neck before choosing the same cotton again. He might find a nice blend that he likes that would be easier to knit with than cotton is.


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## BusyG-ma (Dec 12, 2013)

Think you could find the right labels to find on line from somewhere. Maybe they could say something like "Made with love, if lost phone ...."


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## terrachroma (Sep 21, 2011)

I made a truly beautiful scarf when I returned to knitting after 20 some years and my friend had it stolen while she was at work after only taking it there a few times. 
I know all the folks she works with and find it hard to believe any of those folks did such a thing.
It was 3 strands of designer yarn.
I had not kept the labels and the store was out.
If I had a chance I would remake that scarf in a heartbeat.
It was just garter stitch but working the 3 strand together was hard for me just returning to knitting.
Best of times remaking scarf and it is heartwarming to know he loves it so much.


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## ikindaknit (Jun 27, 2013)

bettyirene said:


> Get him the yarn and needles and teach him to make it.


 :-D


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## Pippen (Jan 30, 2013)

Jessica-Jean said:


> There are all kinds of men.
> Mine _requested_ that I use yarn I had bought - before I ever met him and with a specific project in mind - to knit him a sweater.
> _He chose_ a shawl-necked cardigan from my few pattern books.
> He thought that plain stockinette was too plain, so _he chose_ an all-over-the-fronts Sand Dunes cable pattern from my stitch book.
> ...


That was before you ever met one another? He had an eye on you then and was testing you..... :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


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## Grandmaknitstoo (Jul 6, 2011)

My hubby said, "Don't make me anything: I won't wear it!" As if a hand made item is not good enough. So he wears whatever cheep acrylic thing he can find at the store, while by-passing the obvious warmer and softer items he could easily have for the asking. Count your blessings!


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## LEE1313 (Jan 25, 2011)

There are so many nice soft cottons. Hobby Lobby has some.
Try Bamboo also. Linen another choice.
Sorry I can't feel sorry for some one with a husband to love and be loved by. Enjoy knitting the new scarf and count your blessings.


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## Pippen (Jan 30, 2013)

babyjax said:


> Last year, when I was a beginner knitter, I made a scarf for my husband. He wanted 100% cotton since he believes he can't wear wool (even tho I tried to educate him about the 'modern' wools), and he selected a pattern that, at the time, seemed complicated (double basket). It was TRULY a pain to make. As many of you know, cotton has no 'give' so it puts a strain on the knitter's hands, plus he wanted to be able to wrap it several times. As he is a tall fellow, this meant it had to be mighty long. But I persevered...labor of love and all, and when it was finished he just loved it. Sounds great, right? Wouldn't you know that after wearing it only three times, he 'lost' it, probably on the train, or at his office, or some restaurant... or who knows? That's bad enough, but now he has asked that I make another as a Christmas gift. Aargh! Now, I am compelled to put aside the lovely shawl I hoped to finish this month, and return to a mindless, relentlessly boring, and seemingly endless project for the love of my life, and work furiously and madly to finish this tedious item! Feel sorry for me???? LOL, I do!!


yeah.....a lot! But if you love him "furiously" and "madly"...hehehe..you will have to make him another one, after you finished yours!! :lol: :lol:


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## Grandma G. (Oct 29, 2012)

Gypsycream said:


> Poor you, I don't like knitting scarves, tedious springs to mind lol!
> 
> When you get it finished I suggest you sew it around your husbands neck so he can't lose it!


Best idea yet :thumbup:


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## Medieval Reenactor (Sep 3, 2013)

audlox said:


> PERHAPS, YOU SHOULD PUT IDENTIFYING INFORMATION ON THE REPLACEMENT SCARF ( NAME AND PHONE NUMBER) LIKE THE WAY KIDS HAVE TO LABEL THEIR "STUFF" IN SCHOOL....THEN YOU CAN CARRY ON WITH NEW PROJECTS.- IT JUST MIGHT WORK !


Just what I ws going to suggest!


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## tickleknit (Apr 8, 2011)

Hobby Lobby has a 100% cotton that is soft and easy on hte hands. Was a pleasure to work with


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## OmaForFour (Oct 29, 2013)

While he is picking out the yarn, buy him a pair of needles and teach him to knit! He can make his own, cherish it more, and be more careful not to lose it. LOL


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## normancha (May 27, 2013)

babyjax said:


> Last year, when I was a beginner knitter, I made a scarf for my husband. He wanted 100% cotton since he believes he can't wear wool (even tho I tried to educate him about the 'modern' wools), and he selected a pattern that, at the time, seemed complicated (double basket). It was TRULY a pain to make. As many of you know, cotton has no 'give' so it puts a strain on the knitter's hands, plus he wanted to be able to wrap it several times. As he is a tall fellow, this meant it had to be mighty long. But I persevered...labor of love and all, and when it was finished he just loved it. Sounds great, right? Wouldn't you know that after wearing it only three times, he 'lost' it, probably on the train, or at his office, or some restaurant... or who knows? That's bad enough, but now he has asked that I make another as a Christmas gift. Aargh! Now, I am compelled to put aside the lovely shawl I hoped to finish this month, and return to a mindless, relentlessly boring, and seemingly endless project for the love of my life, and work furiously and madly to finish this tedious item! Feel sorry for me???? LOL, I do!!


You are a very nice person, but I think You should finish your shawl first, then make him a nice super wash wool/acrylic scarf for New Year's, or for the 12th Day of Christmas on January 6th.


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## ultrahiggs (Jun 4, 2012)

babyjax said:


> Last year, when I was a beginner knitter, I made a scarf for my husband. He wanted 100% cotton since he believes he can't wear wool (even tho I tried to educate him about the 'modern' wools), and he selected a pattern that, at the time, seemed complicated (double basket). It was TRULY a pain to make. As many of you know, cotton has no 'give' so it puts a strain on the knitter's hands, plus he wanted to be able to wrap it several times. As he is a tall fellow, this meant it had to be mighty long. But I persevered...labor of love and all, and when it was finished he just loved it. Sounds great, right? Wouldn't you know that after wearing it only three times, he 'lost' it, probably on the train, or at his office, or some restaurant... or who knows? That's bad enough, but now he has asked that I make another as a Christmas gift. Aargh! Now, I am compelled to put aside the lovely shawl I hoped to finish this month, and return to a mindless, relentlessly boring, and seemingly endless project for the love of my life, and work furiously and madly to finish this tedious item! Feel sorry for me???? LOL, I do!!


I would say to him that I would knit him another scarf after I finish my shawl that I am making


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## Soprano Knitter (Nov 3, 2013)

babyjax said:


> Last year, when I was a beginner knitter, I made a scarf for my husband. He wanted 100% cotton since he believes he can't wear wool (even tho I tried to educate him about the 'modern' wools), and he selected a pattern that, at the time, seemed complicated (double basket). It was TRULY a pain to make. As many of you know, cotton has no 'give' so it puts a strain on the knitter's hands, plus he wanted to be able to wrap it several times. As he is a tall fellow, this meant it had to be mighty long. But I persevered...labor of love and all, and when it was finished he just loved it. Sounds great, right? Wouldn't you know that after wearing it only three times, he 'lost' it, probably on the train, or at his office, or some restaurant... or who knows? That's bad enough, but now he has asked that I make another as a Christmas gift. Aargh! Now, I am compelled to put aside the lovely shawl I hoped to finish this month, and return to a mindless, relentlessly boring, and seemingly endless project for the love of my life, and work furiously and madly to finish this tedious item! Feel sorry for me???? LOL, I do!!


LOL!


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## normancha (May 27, 2013)

Bucketknitter said:


> I understand your dilemma. I think since this is a rerun due to his carelessness, I would get the yarn, wrap it up, give it to him with a note that this is an unassembled scarf with a commitment to finish it as soon as your current project is finished. It is a scarf--just unassembled.
> 
> Karen


I love this!! :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## floglo2013 (Sep 22, 2013)

Oh what a little bugger he is!!haha Just let him pick out his own yarn, and you choose a different pattern that is interesting to you. Then you finish your other project and enjoy it. And he can wait patiently until you are ready to lovingly knit one for him and take your time with it..and please enjoy knitting it, meditate with each row and infuse your love into it. You can't go wrong. Make sure you enjoy all your knitting projects, or you may as well buy one at Goodwill and just throw it at him!!!lol


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## normancha (May 27, 2013)

Dreamweaver said:


> Saying no and saying "as soon as I finish my shawl" are not the same thing.......


 :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## normancha (May 27, 2013)

Jessica-Jean said:


> Umm ... Lion Brand markets a stainless steel yarn: http://www.lionbrand.com/yarns/lbCollectionStainlessSteelWool.html


I like working with this yarn to make shawlettes. It's not cheap though.


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## normancha (May 27, 2013)

cakes said:


> No i dont feel sorry for you.....as Dr Phil said "there are no victims, only volunteers",
> 
> say NO "once is enough!


I agree 200 % with You.


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## Jessica-Jean (Mar 14, 2011)

Pippen said:


> That was before you ever met one another? He had an eye on you then and was testing you..... :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


No, we were already married, but the yarn was purchased before we met.


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## Jessica-Jean (Mar 14, 2011)

London Girl said:


> Just before my husband and I got married 45 years ago, I knitted my first ever whole garment for him, a v-neck slipover (tank?) in, for me, a quite complicated pattern. When I visited him decorating our new house, he was wearing it while painting a white ceiling.......yep we still got married but I never ever knitted for him again!!!!!


 :thumbup:


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## yarnawhile (Apr 9, 2012)

babyjax said:


> Ha ha. I doubt that I am nicer than you, Yarnie! And he did concede that choosing a bamboo/silk blend this time would improve the likelihood that it might be finished by Christmas. I am just confessing to this forum that, though I am willing enough to re-make this scarf for him, I really, REALLY wanted to finish the shawl I've been working on to wear at our neighborhood Christmas party on Saturday. That's not going to happen!


Oh No! That is where the foot comes down, you must tell him he has to wait until your shawl is done. He can deal with an unfinished project in his stocking on Christmas day.


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## loufa (Nov 23, 2013)

I feel your pain. I knitted a blanket for a new Grandson. They live in the windiest city in the world and that wind blew the blanket out to sea. The next one is going to have a contact number embroidered in one corner just in case it is lost in a more retrievable place. 
Good luck with the repeat knit. It must be love.


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## Becca (Jan 26, 2011)

Try bamboo yarn or a combination of cotton and something, or bamboo and modal or other stuph, double the yarn, use large needles and a seed or moss stitch. This should help you get done faster. Knit a loop on the center edge, think bathrobe, add a button to his coat and hook the loop over the button or sew the scarf to his coat. He can't lose it this way.


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## Mary Cardiff (Mar 18, 2012)

When my husband asked me to knit him a dark colour sweater with a polo neck,I did as he asked,But didnt know he wanted it for work,He was a heavy Goods fitter,Working Nights and it was winter,Thank goodness I made it on my knitting machine,and not hand knitted,My neighbour has knitted a scarf for her partner,2 strand of DK and single rib,it about 6 foot long and weighs really heavy,she used 4mm needles.Havent seen him wearing it yet,


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## alidakyle (Dec 20, 2011)

Gypsycream said:


> Poor you, I don't like knitting scarves, tedious springs to mind lol!
> 
> When you get it finished I suggest you sew it around your husbands neck so he can't lose it!


 :lol: :thumbup: :lol: :thumbup: :lol: :thumbup:


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## maysmom (Sep 22, 2011)

Slidell411 said:


> My hubby used to want me to knit a gift every time someone at his work got pregnant, even though he hardly knew them. I complained that I didn't want to put in the time to make gifts for people I didn't even know and were not friends of ours. He said whats the difference that I knitted all the time anyway. I just said I'm not doing it and he quit asking. At first I did and they'd tell him to thank me. Never did I get a note or phone call to say thanks.


I hear you! Been there, done that, no more! Anyone who gets anything I make can consider themselves near and dear, lol!

Karen N.


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## tired n' cranky (Aug 2, 2011)

I won't knit for my husband, used to but no more. 3 years ago two friends and I got a booth together a a biiig art and craft show. He picked up a beanie one of my friends made and raved about it until she gave it to him. His remark to me was, " why don't you make these?". The hat has come apart, he asked me to fix it and I told him to give her a call! I know it sounds petty but it hurt my feelings and he just doesn't get it!
How long ago did he ask you to make another? If it was just this week, I'd explain the time involved and that it will have to be after Christmas.


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## 1crisp1 (Apr 1, 2012)

Men are such a bother but they arn't that bright about things. Get whatever wool you want and say it is a new cotton blend (take off the lables and say it is extra special and has none if he asks) Also say you have to finish the shawl first because if you stop halfway through it makes a ridge that can't be fixed. They never listen when we 'talk technical' about knitting anyway.


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## Melody S (Dec 2, 2013)

I would give anything to have this dilemma. My husband died 16 months ago & life will never be the same for me. You can't imagine how lonely it is without the person you shared 43 years with. Make your husband your first priority; knit that scarf again and reflect on just how great it is to have the love of your life still with you, who appreciates what you make for him - even if he did manage to lose it.


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## Kitty Rooney (Jul 8, 2013)

Buy him one. Does he lose things a lot? I wouldn't make another one for him. It has nothing to do with love. You're time is more valuable than that.


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## Kitty Rooney (Jul 8, 2013)

Melody S said:


> I would give anything to have this dilemma. My husband died 16 months ago & life will never be the same for me. You can't imagine how lonely it is without the person you shared 43 years with. Make your husband your first priority; knit that scarf again and reflect on just how great it is to have the love of your life still with you, who appreciates what you make for him - even if he did manage to lose it.


I am so sorry for your loss.


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## Jessica-Jean (Mar 14, 2011)

Melody S said:


> I would give anything to have this dilemma. My husband died 16 months ago & life will never be the same for me. You can't imagine how lonely it is without the person you shared 43 years with. Make your husband your first priority; knit that scarf again and reflect on just how great it is to have the love of your life still with you, who appreciates what you make for him - even if he did manage to lose it.


I'm so sorry for your loss.
You have the perfect answer; it just takes a different perspective to see it.
Maybe it's time I knit mine his sweater.


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## Kitty Rooney (Jul 8, 2013)

1crisp1 said:


> Men are such a bother but they arn't that bright about things. Get whatever wool you want and say it is a new cotton blend (take off the lables and say it is extra special and has none if he asks) Also say you have to finish the shawl first because if you stop halfway through it makes a ridge that can't be fixed. They never listen when we 'talk technical' about knitting anyway.


I agree with this writer - he thinks he is allergic to wool, but he doesn't know for sure. If he really is allergic and he breaks out or swells up (hope not), act surprised. Seriously, it is not your place to be his Mommy and replace his lost winter scarf. Even children have to learn that things cannot always be replaced - its called accountability. Sorry I sound so harsh - must need my meds.


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## LEE1313 (Jan 25, 2011)

I agree 100%.
I would give all my stash to have a companion to knit a scarf for !!!
Sounds a lot better than knitting away lonely hours every night.
Be happy he lost the scarf rather than you lose him.


Melody S said:


> I would give anything to have this dilemma. My husband died 16 months ago & life will never be the same for me. You can't imagine how lonely it is without the person you shared 43 years with. Make your husband your first priority; knit that scarf again and reflect on just how great it is to have the love of your life still with you, who appreciates what you make for him - even if he did manage to lose it.


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## Kitty Rooney (Jul 8, 2013)

tired n' cranky said:


> I won't knit for my husband, used to but no more. 3 years ago two friends and I got a booth together a a biiig art and craft show. He picked up a beanie one of my friends made and raved about it until she gave it to him. His remark to me was, " why don't you make these?". The hat has come apart, he asked me to fix it and I told him to give her a call! I know it sounds petty but it hurt my feelings and he just doesn't get it!
> How long ago did he ask you to make another? If it was just this week, I'd explain the time involved and that it will have to be after Christmas.


LOL


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## Jessica-Jean (Mar 14, 2011)

1crisp1 said:


> ... They never listen when we 'talk technical' about knitting anyway.


True enough, but mine helps me to decide which colours do or don't go together. He's a photographer by trade and has better colour sense than I - not that I _always_ take his advice though.


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## LEE1313 (Jan 25, 2011)

Gosh that sounds so mean. I don't think he lost the scarf on purpose. Have you never lost a glove or anything else ?
Some folks are sensitive to wool. Why aggravate him. Make the scarf out of a nice blend and get on with life,
Mercy the poor guy.


Kitty Rooney said:


> I agree with this writer - he thinks he is allergic to wool, but he doesn't know for sure. If he really is allergic and he breaks out or swells up (hope not), act surprised. Seriously, it is not your place to be his Mommy and replace his lost winter scarf. Even children have to learn that things cannot always be replaced - its called accountability. Sorry I sound so harsh - must need my meds.


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## nissa (Jan 5, 2013)

Melody S said:


> I would give anything to have this dilemma. My husband died 16 months ago & life will never be the same for me. You can't imagine how lonely it is without the person you shared 43 years with. Make your husband your first priority; knit that scarf again and reflect on just how great it is to have the love of your life still with you, who appreciates what you make for him - even if he did manage to lose it.


I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm unlike the responses here. I've had nothing but rebukes from my husband about knitting, was over the moon we he asked for a sweater. I'm hoping seeing the effort will change his mind. As the op said, it was accident, and my kids too tend to loose things, yet it takes time, but atleast he appreciates all your effort.


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## Patty Sutter (Apr 17, 2012)

There are some very nice cotton yarns out there. I really liked Bernat cottontots, and I've heard that Hobby Lobby's "I love this cotton" is very nice too.
Don't stress about the time limit. Since he asked at a late date, explain that you will willingly and loveingly do it for him But it may not be done in time for Christmas.
(If he doesn't understand, tell him to go buy one :lol: :lol: )
Merry Christmas!


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## Stephhy (May 14, 2012)

jmcret05 said:


> If he likes cotton, why don't you try some 100% organic cotton, which is soft, or make it from bamboo or any soft blend. Better yet, take him to a LYS and let him pick (and feel) the yarns and select the one he wants.


 :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: plus remind him women LOVE men who are interested in knitting(so as not to be embarrassed in the store if he might be).


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## Hazel Blumberg - McKee (Sep 9, 2011)

Please don't put that much pressure on yourself. Make him the scarf for New Year--or Valentine's Day!

Hazel


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## Linda6885 (Feb 13, 2011)

I see you have gotten more responses than needed but my suggestion all with others, is to get a soft cotton blend. Cotton and silk is yummy, cotton and wool, (he will never know) the soft blends are easy on the hands and have that extra bounce that knitters like. Now choose a different pattern that you like better, but similar to what he had before, it will be much easier on you to knit and more interesting, then in with his gift have a card which says, ' if lost, don't tell me'.


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## yanagi (Jul 7, 2013)

If his coat has a hang loop, put a button on the scarf and button it to the coat.


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## skeezix (Nov 12, 2013)

I too would use acrylic. I like the idea of haveing him knit even a row or two. It's amazing to see a reaction of someone when they have tried to knit if they don't already. They really have no idea of the time when they don't knit. They just see you working at it and don't see the time or energy.


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## raindancer (Aug 19, 2012)

Well, it would be a labor of love for you to do this for him. Personally, I would be thrilled that he liked it so well!


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## EBurk56622 (Oct 11, 2011)

I learned (after being volunteered by hubby) to tell him to volunteer only for himself and not for me! Think I'd tell him if he wants to learn to knit/crochet you'll teach him how and HE can make whatever he wishes. I personally don't think I am being unreasonable. As you said...the people who receive these gifts don't know you, don't realize or care the time/effort/expense involved. It's just an "easy" way for your hubby to select a "gift" for whatever the occassion. So, rules have to be made IMHO on these things. As the old saying goes, you are treated as you "allow" to be treated. OK...off my soap box.


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## Pippen (Jan 30, 2013)

Jessica-Jean said:


> No, we were already married, but the yarn was purchased before we met.


 :lol: :thumbup:


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## aannggeell (Dec 7, 2012)

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! Really. Think loving thoughts as you knit and I promise it will go faster.


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## elly69 (May 3, 2013)

maybe you should staple it to him?


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## anastasia (Feb 9, 2011)

I know how hard it is to knit w/ cotton. IF I did it for him, I would take my time so I didn't damage my joints or have any undue pain involved. BENAT makes a cotton that is slightly smaller around than LILY or PEACHES N CREAM and is somewhat easier to work with, if that helps. :roll: :lol: :XD: :thumbup:


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## anastasia (Feb 9, 2011)

Patty Sutter said:


> There are some very nice cotton yarns out there. I really liked Bernat cottontots, and I've heard that Hobby Lobby's "I love this cotton" is very nice too.
> Don't stress about the time limit. Since he asked at a late date, explain that you will willingly and loveingly do it for him But it may not be done in time for Christmas.
> (If he doesn't understand, tell him to go buy one :lol: :lol: )
> Merry Christmas!


I love this cotton is good too.


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## KnockaghKrafter (Aug 11, 2011)

Dreamweaver said:


> Babyjax.... Your project should have stayed at the head of the line.... The scarf could go in the box in ANY stage and finished on YOUR time schedule. He can be cold one more week.... a small price to pay for losing the first one...


Yes! Yes! Yes!


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## KnockaghKrafter (Aug 11, 2011)

DonnieK said:


> I would also like to add that IF I decided to make him another one, I would have him sign in blood that he understood that if this one "disappeared" you would never, no, not ever, make him another one.


Love it!!! :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## KnockaghKrafter (Aug 11, 2011)

Dreamweaver said:


> Saying no and saying "as soon as I finish my shawl" are not the same thing.......


I would tell him you will start the scarf just as soon as you have finished your shawl. It's only a few days and he will have to wait for his 'new' scarf' anyway, until you have finished knitting it.


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## KnockaghKrafter (Aug 11, 2011)

Bucketknitter said:


> I understand your dilemma. I think since this is a rerun due to his carelessness, I would get the yarn, wrap it up, give it to him with a note that this is an unassembled scarf with a commitment to finish it as soon as your current project is finished. It is a scarf--just unassembled.
> 
> Karen


 :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## Knuttyknitter941 (Oct 22, 2012)

How about knitting it the long way? A lot of stitches but only a few rows. That would work up faster.

Merry Christmas


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## SwampCatNana (Dec 27, 2012)

Time to get some sew-in labels with his contact info to sew into his scarf!


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## Lo'L (Jan 21, 2011)

oh dear, poor poor sweet sweet baby! lol

stitch it to the inside of coat! He can't misplace it then!!!


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## micra (Aug 11, 2011)

let me tell you a little story. last year my husbank wanted me to knit him a jumper. I hate knitting big things as I always get bored. So not to dissapoint him I went and bought him a pure wool hand knitted jumper which by the way worked out cheaper than buying the wool. He never knew that I didnt do it and its fits him like a glove. Just and idea!!!!!


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## Jessica-Jean (Mar 14, 2011)

Knuttyknitter941 said:


> How about knitting it the long way? A lot of stitches but only a few rows. *That would work up faster.* ...


Umm ... Just how do you figure that it would work up faster? Just by turning the work fewer times? It'll still need the same total number of stitches, no matter which way it's worked!


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## babyjax (Sep 6, 2013)

Floglo: what a lovely way to think about this!


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## babyjax (Sep 6, 2013)

Melody: Thank you for sharing your important thoughts on this seemingly trivial 'problem' You are, of course, so right to remind us what really matters in life. Thank you again; I will keep you in my thoughts.


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## mzmom1 (Mar 4, 2011)

Finish your shawl and tell him why you want to, he wants you to be happy too, right? As someone suggested, take him to the LYS and let him choose the yarn he likes and give him an IOU for making the scarf right after Christmas.


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## babyjax (Sep 6, 2013)

Thanks to everyone who responded to my post. It was just fascinating to read so many opinions! We are truly a diverse group in our thinking and our approaches. You all are the best!!


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## yona (Feb 7, 2011)

Melody S said:


> I would give anything to have this dilemma. My husband died 16 months ago & life will never be the same for me. You can't imagine how lonely it is without the person you shared 43 years with. Make your husband your first priority; knit that scarf again and reflect on just how great it is to have the love of your life still with you, who appreciates what you make for him - even if he did manage to lose it.


I feel the same way Melody. My husband passed away at age 37 and I was too busy caring and raising our 2 children. I always knitted him sweaters which he wore proudly. He'd take the kids to the park on a Sunday for a couple of hours, and when he'd get back, I'd already cut and sewed a skirt for myself w/a zipper too. 
He always commented and was involved in my knitting and sewing as well as my cooking.

Now, that the kids have grown and out of the house, I miss having someone around the house commenting, helping me wind up the yarn and wear the sweaters I make.

Maybe G-D, in His infinite mercy, will not forget me now and send me someone to knit for again. The holidays are the worst and I just try to mentally 'skip' over them, less painful.

Sorry if I've been a Debbie Downer, it's just that this thread really hit home with me, and besides, there's no one to share my feelings with anymore except for my KP family.


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## Jessica-Jean (Mar 14, 2011)

yona said:


> I feel the same way Melody. My husband passed away at age 37 and I was too busy caring and raising our 2 children. I always knitted him sweaters which he wore proudly. He'd take the kids to the park on a Sunday for a couple of hours, and when he'd get back, I'd already cut and sewed a skirt for myself w/a zipper too.
> He always commented and was involved in my knitting and sewing as well as my cooking.
> 
> Now, that the kids have grown and out of the house, I miss having someone around the house commenting, helping me wind up the yarn and wear the sweaters I make.
> ...


You're welcome to air your feelings here, for sure! Isn't that why this forum exists?


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## yona (Feb 7, 2011)

Thanks Jessica-Jean.... that really helps.


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## amandaboyce (Jul 14, 2013)

Do you crochet? I find it much faster than knitting.


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## Debby Welsh (Jul 27, 2012)

honey, this is what they call a labor of love, God bless


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## snoopylover (Nov 13, 2011)

Maybe you sould feel blessed that you 1. have a husband, and 2 have a husband who appreciates your knitting.


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## AJP (Sep 12, 2011)

Personally, I knit with cotton too and so I understand how it feels. I would make my husband another one if he asked. After all I want him to keep going to work and bring home a paycheck even when he doesn't feel like it. I've been married 36yrs and I know that I am a happier married woman because I treat my husband the way I want to be treated. After all I too have lost things he has provided for me. Let your love flow from your heart and think of all the things you love about him as you knit it and it will be a cherished scarf. Happiness is found in the choices we make to love and forgive and share and care. I can't tell you how grateful I am that my Mother taught me that.
Be thankful you have a husband. I know a lot of lonely women who would be grateful to make a scarf for a husband three times if need be, but they never had the opportunity to marry. I am grateful for the companionship I have and the children our marriage has blessed us with. It gives me special opportunities to knit for them which I would not have had my husband not chosen me to be his wife.
Knitting another scarf isn't really that much to ask.


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## deshka (Apr 6, 2011)

Gypsycream said:


> Poor you, I don't like knitting scarves, tedious springs to mind lol!
> 
> When you get it finished I suggest you sew it around your husbands neck so he can't lose it!


Or better yet, sew it onto his neck, right through a real tender spot, he won't let it get away from him that way.


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## Colour wheel (Aug 4, 2011)

Yes!


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## Stephhy (May 14, 2012)

Jessica-Jean said:


> Umm ... Just how do you figure that it would work up faster? Just by turning the work fewer times? It'll still need the same total number of stitches, no matter which way it's worked!


I AGREE with you, but I FEEL like KnuttyKnitter941 & yes, it makes no sense at all....!!!!


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## Cubula (Jan 6, 2013)

Don't do it!! You will be expected to pander to every whim at the drop of a hat (or scarf). He should have been more careful. Knit another and the original will turn up straight away. Be strong girl!


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## Jessica-Jean (Mar 14, 2011)

Stephhy said:


> I AGREE with you, but I FEEL like KnuttyKnitter941 & yes, it makes no sense at all....!!!!


The most interminable-seeming scarf I ever knit was worked lengthwise. Cast on a few hundred stitches, kf&b every stitch every row (or every other row, or whatever grabs you) until it's as wide as you want. It's a curly scarf. I used a mohair-blend. I hope I gave it away, because I hated it! That long inelastic cast-on core made it uncomfortable to wear. I can't remember seeing it lately.


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## CarolBest (Sep 14, 2011)

If he made it himself, with your loving expertise and guidance, I bet you that he would take better care of it! :twisted:


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## CarolBest (Sep 14, 2011)

:thumbup: I'm good at listening.


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## Palenque1978 (Feb 16, 2011)

Melody and Yona, my heart goes out to you both. And, Jessica-Jean, as always, hit the nail on the head with her reply to Yona. 

Early on in this post, I had said to knit it again, but at her pace. Not to drop everything she was knitting at the moment. Reason being, for me, was that he is her husband -- period. (I did have an after thought of creating and sewing into the scarf's edge a "If You Find This Scarf" tag with his name and phone number or email address on it).


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## dlarkin (Jan 25, 2013)

Would it be easier to just kill him?


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## Jessica-Jean (Mar 14, 2011)

dlarkin said:


> Would it be easier to just kill him?


 :thumbdown:


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## dlarkin (Jan 25, 2013)

Just a joke, Jessica-Jean.


Jessica-Jean said:


> :thumbdown:


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## backafter20yrs (Mar 1, 2013)

Put an IOU under the tree, finish the other things you had planned, and work on the 2nd scarf at you leisure .


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## RoxyCatlady (Mar 22, 2011)

babyjax said:


> Last year, when I was a beginner knitter, I made a scarf for my husband. He wanted 100% cotton since he believes he can't wear wool (even tho I tried to educate him about the 'modern' wools), and he selected a pattern that, at the time, seemed complicated (double basket). It was TRULY a pain to make. As many of you know, cotton has no 'give' so it puts a strain on the knitter's hands, plus he wanted to be able to wrap it several times. As he is a tall fellow, this meant it had to be mighty long. But I persevered...labor of love and all, and when it was finished he just loved it. Sounds great, right? Wouldn't you know that after wearing it only three times, he 'lost' it, probably on the train, or at his office, or some restaurant... or who knows? That's bad enough, but now he has asked that I make another as a Christmas gift. Aargh! Now, I am compelled to put aside the lovely shawl I hoped to finish this month, and return to a mindless, relentlessly boring, and seemingly endless project for the love of my life, and work furiously and madly to finish this tedious item! Feel sorry for me???? LOL, I do!!


Last year, you were a beginning knitter; this year it will go smoother because you are more experienced, and because you've knit that one before, so you will have "practiced" it.  It will not be so bad. Think happy thoughts while you knit it, and it will also help.


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## yarnawhile (Apr 9, 2012)

What I really want to know now is, did you get your shawl done in time for the party this evening? I sincerely hope you did and that your husband will be proud of your accomplishment!


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## reborn knitter (Apr 7, 2013)

Sorry, folks but I think I would knit him another without hesitation. I know, that is easy for me to say since I really don't have a lot of demands on me now that I am retired. If I was in the middle of making something for myself, my guy of 43yrs would want me to finish it before starting something for him. I know he would feel badly enough that he lost the 1st one so no sense in making him feel worse. We all know our mates so I'm not judging anyone's reaction or solution just saying what I HOPE I would do.


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## hasamod41 (Sep 1, 2011)

Jessica-Jean said:


> 'Infinity' scarves seem to be all the rage right now. They do have the advantage of being harder to lose than a 'normal' scarf. I don't see why a man can't wear one. Once it's over his head, he'd have trouble losing it, no?


Is that the same as a cowl?


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## hasamod41 (Sep 1, 2011)

AJP said:


> Personally, I knit with cotton too and so I understand how it feels. I would make my husband another one if he asked. After all I want him to keep going to work and bring home a paycheck even when he doesn't feel like it. I've been married 36yrs and I know that I am a happier married woman because I treat my husband the way I want to be treated. After all I too have lost things he has provided for me. Let your love flow from your heart and think of all the things you love about him as you knit it and it will be a cherished scarf. Happiness is found in the choices we make to love and forgive and share and care. I can't tell you how grateful I am that my Mother taught me that.
> Be thankful you have a husband. I know a lot of lonely women who would be grateful to make a scarf for a husband three times if need be, but they never had the opportunity to marry. I am grateful for the companionship I have and the children our marriage has blessed us with. It gives me special opportunities to knit for them which I would not have had my husband not chosen me to be his wife.
> Knitting another scarf isn't really that much to ask.


I agree with you totally. I love knitting with cotton especially with WOODEN needle.


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## RoxyCatlady (Mar 22, 2011)

hasamod41 said:


> Is that the same as a cowl?


An "infinity" scarf or wrap is similar to a cowl, but the cowl is usually a circumference slightly larger than your neck, but the infinity one is much longer loop, so that you can twist it around a couple times.

Sometimes, though, people call the "Möbius" wraps an infinity one as well, because of the twist.


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## dlarkin (Jan 25, 2013)

I lost my husband as well - only had him for 16 years. It has been almost 6 years and although I'm better now I still miss him. I was not knitting when he was there and I wish I had been. He would have worn everything I made no matter the mistakes. Make that scarf and be happy you still have him to wear your stuff.


yona said:


> I feel the same way Melody. My husband passed away at age 37 and I was too busy caring and raising our 2 children. I always knitted him sweaters which he wore proudly. He'd take the kids to the park on a Sunday for a couple of hours, and when he'd get back, I'd already cut and sewed a skirt for myself w/a zipper too.
> He always commented and was involved in my knitting and sewing as well as my cooking.
> 
> Now, that the kids have grown and out of the house, I miss having someone around the house commenting, helping me wind up the yarn and wear the sweaters I make.
> ...


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## nissa (Jan 5, 2013)

dlarkin said:


> I lost my husband as well - only had him for 16 years. It has been almost 6 years and although I'm better now I still miss him. I was not knitting when he was there and I wish I had been. He would have worn everything I made no matter the mistakes. Make that scarf and be happy you still have him to wear your stuff.


I'm sorry for your loss Dlarkin. I understand time makes it easier to bear. I know when my husband annoying and frustrating and pessimistic as he can be, I miss him too when he's gone for more than a few days. I can't imagine how much you ladies must me missing your beloved's.


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## Jessica-Jean (Mar 14, 2011)

RoxyCatlady said:


> ... Sometimes, though, people call the "Möbius" wraps an infinity one as well, because of the twist.


Well, my Mobius http://www.ravelry.com/projects/JessicaJean/moebius-scarf---the-original-2 can wrap three times around my head/neck ...


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## RoxyCatlady (Mar 22, 2011)

Jessica-Jean said:


> Well, my Mobius http://www.ravelry.com/projects/JessicaJean/moebius-scarf---the-original-2 can wrap three times around my head/neck ...


Gorgeous.


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## Hannelore (Oct 26, 2011)

You know you are going to make him another scarf. Maybe you could ask him to wait until you have finished your shawl as he "lost" the other scarf. Maybe then he will see how much time goes into making his new scarf.


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## yona (Feb 7, 2011)

Palenque1978 said:


> Melody and Yona, my heart goes out to you both. And, Jessica-Jean, as always, hit the nail on the head with her reply to Yona.
> 
> Early on in this post, I had said to knit it again, but at her pace. Not to drop everything she was knitting at the moment. Reason being, for me, was that he is her husband -- period. (I did have an after thought of creating and sewing into the scarf's edge a "If You Find This Scarf" tag with his name and phone number or email address on it).


Thank you Palenque1978.


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## hasamod41 (Sep 1, 2011)

RoxyCatlady said:


> An "infinity" scarf or wrap is similar to a cowl, but the cowl is usually a circumference slightly larger than your neck, but the infinity one is much longer loop, so that you can twist it around a couple times.
> 
> Sometimes, though, people call the "Möbius" wraps an infinity one as well, because of the twist.


thanks for the explaining the difference


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