# How do you ignore a particular person here?



## gmcmullen (Dec 29, 2011)

There is one person who posts regularly and is just so critical of others and negative. It really upsets me as I'm reading all the friendly posts, then BOOM hers is in there. If I could somehow just block her, I would enjoy this site so much more.

Thanks for any help or tips.


----------



## Joy Marshall (Apr 6, 2011)

I have noticed this, too, but I don't have an answer.


----------



## RBeckles (Feb 20, 2012)

Really. Wow. I never noticed any Negative Nancy's. Everyone usually has such positive feedback. Forget about them. You know who it is. Skip their post. Its to much other valuable info and fun stories.


----------



## jtkdesigns (Mar 13, 2012)

Someone here is always being negative with me as well. No matter what I write.


----------



## grandma6 (Mar 16, 2012)

I'm sorry if you feel that I am being negative about some of the things on here. I just ask a question and people take it the wrong way.


----------



## stirfry (Nov 3, 2011)

Don't know how to block a message but don't worry. Some people are just not so nice. It makes me remember way back to my first job in retail. Way back believe me. My boss used to tell me and my co-workers to be extra nice to a nasty customer no matter how it upsets you. The nicer you are will hopefully bring them around. Most of the time it worked. There are so so many wonderful people on this forum. It doesn't seem to matter if I do something dumb when posting. I am too old to let people bother me too much. 
Have a great day.
Doreen


----------



## btibbs70 (Mar 23, 2011)

We don't know people's backgrounds.
It may be best to chalk the remarks up to ignorance, lack of self-censorship, upbringing, current situations, or one of a thousand other things. 
In behavior terms, I suggest extinction - ignoring inappropriate behavior and praising appropriate behavior.
My energy is better spent enjoying the 58,200 wonderful members and not bother with the 84 who may negative.


----------



## deshka (Apr 6, 2011)

At times there is one that bugs me, I just don't read that person's posts. I figure it's my problem and that is how I take care of it.


----------



## Janet.Sar (Jun 29, 2011)

deshka said:


> At times there is one that bugs me, I just don't read that person's posts. I figure it's my problem and that is how I take care of it.


That's exactly how I feel about one person who always seems to be in a bad mood! Not with me particularly - but everyone. I just avoid her posts because they've become so predictable.


----------



## Designer1234 (Aug 9, 2011)

If it gets bad - I just post that I don't care to read this kind of post and am going to unwatch the topic. That way at least the person knows that someone won't read her posts.


----------



## funkyknitter (Mar 21, 2012)

gmcmullen said:


> There is one person who posts regularly and is just so critical of others and negative. It really upsets me as I'm reading all the friendly posts, then BOOM hers is in there. If I could somehow just block her, I would enjoy this site so much more.
> 
> Thanks for any help or tips.


Skip over it. It's just giving that person more attention by responding to it. Imagine what their life must be like if that's how they relate to people and feel sorry for them maybe. It's people that are the most unlovable that need love the most. Maybe they don't have any friends so they keep posting on KP , who knows ?


----------



## onesoutherngal (Jun 6, 2011)

I openly admit there is someone on KP who has posted things that were directed towards me or another KP friend...and I felt compelled to respond directly and in a firm manner. Those exchanges were not pleasant for me, and I know not pleasant for others to read. 

I hate that innocent KP members had to be witness when I had to respond to those posts. 

I read a wonderful suggestion in another thread...she suggested we respond to some posts by saying, "I choose not to reply to this post. I prefer to read positive topics."

I will be using this in the future. 

I hope others will too, rather than join in to what turns into cyberbullying. 

There are members here who have been posting for over a year, and although some great friendships have developed....others have a different history. 

Sometimes people don't realize this and the resulting thread is not pretty...

For those of you "old timers" you know too well where i am coming from...and i hope you will consider using this technique in the future

Happy knitting/crocheting...Peace, OSG


----------



## Designer1234 (Aug 9, 2011)

It was my suggestion and I have already used it and unwatched that discussion. I feel relieved that I did so -- 

I would also like to suggest that we all do that for negative post. It wouldn't take very long for people who like to stir things, to get the message. Designer1234


----------



## onesoutherngal (Jun 6, 2011)

Designer1234 said:


> It was my suggestion and I have already used it and unwatched that discussion. I feel relieved that I did so --
> 
> I would also like to suggest that we all do that for negative post. It wouldn't take very long for people who like to stir things, to get the message. Designer1234


i am sorry i did not recognize you for the great suggestion...I didnt catch your name when i read it, but i did remember your messege :thumbup:


----------



## Designer1234 (Aug 9, 2011)

onesoutherngal said:


> Designer1234 said:
> 
> 
> > It was my suggestion and I have already used it and unwatched that discussion. I feel relieved that I did so --
> ...


No problem at all - I just posted now because I have started to do this and I feel it might work well if the rest of us give it some thought. It just might make the person with the problem do some thinking. just my opinion. This is such a fantastic group, and the unhappier posts throw a bit of a 'pall' over the forum, which is a shame.


----------



## Nanimal (Dec 14, 2011)

Would it not be kinder to confront that person directly in a PM? She or he might not know they are being this way. I've known people on another site that never seemed to have anything positive to say...when confronted with it they just didn't realize what they were doing. Then, of course, there are those who are cognitively confrontational and enjoy it. 

I'm not sure who you are referring to, and it really doesn't matter who is doing it, just that it is being done. I have never had a negative comment to the few posts I have made. Everyone has always been so sweet and nice.


----------



## funkyknitter (Mar 21, 2012)

Nanimal, I would be afraid to PM some of them. I think it would just start a fight and they do seem to be looking for a fight judging from their posts. Also we are here to help each other with knitting questions not interpersonal skills. 

You are kind hearted though to suggest we help them. I think some of 'em may be beyond help. ;-)


----------



## Joy Marshall (Apr 6, 2011)

funkyknitter said:


> Nanimal, I would be afraid to PM some of them. I think it would just start a fight and they do seem to be looking for a fight judging from their posts. Also we are here to help each other with knitting questions not interpersonal skills.
> 
> You are kind hearted though to suggest we help them. I think some of 'em may be beyond help. ;-)


I totally agree with you. What I don't understand is, why isn't administration monitoring these people? People come to this site to interact and learn with others, not to be maligned or slighted


----------



## Ms. Tess (Mar 2, 2012)

It is really sad that some people have to make themselves feel better at the expense of others. In a world that is so full of anger and unkindness, it's such a treat to come here to our KP world and spend time with friendly like minded people who just like to share things and have fun. If I have offended anyone on here, I truly am sorry and do extend my sincerest apologies. I hope everyone is having a great day today! =)


----------



## Nanimal (Dec 14, 2011)

Joy Marshall said:


> funkyknitter said:
> 
> 
> > Nanimal, I would be afraid to PM some of them. I think it would just start a fight and they do seem to be looking for a fight judging from their posts. Also we are here to help each other with knitting questions not interpersonal skills.
> ...


I understand where you are coming from, and perhaps if I had seen the replies to which you refer, I might have a different perspective. Thank you for your kind words. HUGS


----------



## knitnanny (Feb 28, 2012)

Reading your posts confirms for me that the majority of people here are kind and helpful. Thank you for being that way!!


----------



## Sewbizgirl (May 11, 2011)

jtkdesigns said:


> Someone here is always being negative with me as well. No matter what I write.


You're right. I've seen it. It's ridiculous... These women don't stop to think that others are seeing and forming an opinion about them when they pick on people.

And we all have seen dozens of women dogpile on something or someone, just at the word of _one person_... This is a huge negative for the site. We could change it if people would agree to stop responding to troublemaker's posts.

But to answer the OP's original question: No, there is no 'ignore' feature here like on Ravelry. The Ignore feature here is MANUAL. :lol: :lol: :lol:


----------



## knittingneedles (Mar 27, 2011)

onesoutherngal said:


> I openly admit there is someone on KP who has posted things that were directed towards me or another KP friend...and I felt compelled to respond directly and in a firm manner. Those exchanges were not pleasant for me, and I know not pleasant for others to read.
> 
> I hate that innocent KP members had to be witness when I had to respond to those posts.
> 
> ...


That's a great idea.. I too usually come to the defense of the poor innocent that is being ridiculed for either bad spelling or some comment taken out of context.. but will post "I choose not to reply to this post. I prefer to read positive topics."
from now on and maybe others will get the hint and not join in the bullyfest...

All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing. Do not allow evil to triumph. Do not do sit by and do nothing.

So just ignoring the person helps her continue and it will never change her, but if we all say something kind maybe that will change her and stop others from agreeing with her.


----------



## kazlc67 (May 16, 2012)

i have only been a member a few days and had a few private messages from someone critising and making snide remarks and comments if they don't like my work they should look x


----------



## Joy Marshall (Apr 6, 2011)

kazlc67 said:


> i have only been a member a few days and had a few private messages from someone critising and making snide remarks and comments if they don't like my work they should look x


That is appalling! I think you can opt not to have private messages. In case like that I would. 
Please hang in here with us. At least 99% are friendly, courteous. helpful people. You just happened to strike it unlucky.


----------



## vjh1530 (Oct 8, 2011)

kazlc67 said:


> i have only been a member a few days and had a few private messages from someone critising and making snide remarks and comments if they don't like my work they should look x


That is terrible! I think you do beautiful work and can't imagine what anyone would want to criticize. I remember when I posted my first topic I also had someone jump all over me, then send me PMs to continue to berate me. But I also had several very sweet posts and PMs from other members who told me to ignore her and to not judge the whole site on the meanness of one person. I am glad I took their advice because I love it here and except for a couple of people have met many wonderful people from all over the world. Keep posting your beautiful projects and ignore the hater. Don't even bother opening her PMs. Some people just live to fight, I think! I love seeing the pretty things you make!
Vicki


----------



## funkyknitter (Mar 21, 2012)

kazlc67 said:


> i have only been a member a few days and had a few private messages from someone critising and making snide remarks and comments if they don't like my work they should look x


If someone is sending nasty PMs to you then it's harrassment . You should ask adm if that user can be blocked from your PM. Send a copy of the nasty PM to the adm to see if it's cyberbulling.

The forum is open to everyone and sadly we get a few bad apples. But as the saying goes it doesn't spoil the whole bunch. 
I have seen certain members that habitually post curt remarks and act like know it alls. I don't think they have very happy lives if that's how they interact with others. 
I feel sorry for them myself. I would imagine that people avoid them like the plague elsewhere. They seem to get tolerated to a point on KP and then finally people start responding back in kind. :-( It gets pretty ugly then.


----------



## maryrose (Apr 15, 2011)

hi ladies, after reading everything that seems to be like a soap opera on this forum, i know not everyone is nice. if it were not for a couple of KP friends & the swaps i'm in, i would've left too. but there seems to be more nice ladies than not so nice. all we can do is ignore the unkind ladies.


----------



## sasvermont (Mar 3, 2011)

Oh my gosh. I never would have thought such a thing would take place here, of all places.

I have noticed some unkind and unnecessary remarks about spelling etc., but other than that, everyone has been so very nice.

I prefer to concentrate on the positive and would venture to say 99.9% of the people here are more than WONDERFUL. 

I don't always read all the responses as that takes too much time, sometimes. Maybe I miss the nasty folks then!

Oh well. Here's to kindness and positive things in life.

Hugs and great respect to all the crafters here!


----------



## Clickers (Apr 8, 2011)

A smile is mightier than the pen.


----------



## Knitress (Feb 14, 2012)

I saw a post like that, I wrote the person about it in a PM


----------



## knitknack (Oct 30, 2011)

Guess the only way to avoid the negativity of the persons posts, is ot to open them up. I so enjoy reading all of the marvleous things our sister knitters are working on, or have many WIP's and the posting of their completed projects.
I would not let one person destroy the joy I experience while on this site.


----------



## Sewbizgirl (May 11, 2011)

vjh1530 said:


> kazlc67 said:
> 
> 
> > i have only been a member a few days and had a few private messages from someone critising and making snide remarks and comments if they don't like my work they should look x
> ...


In the case of hateful pms, you definitely need to bring the Admin. in on it.
He can take care of that for you. You don't have to put up with it.


----------



## daralene (Feb 27, 2012)

kazlc67 said:


> i have only been a member a few days and had a few private messages from someone critising and making snide remarks and comments if they don't like my work they should look x


Your knitting is beautiful. Perhaps someone is green with envy :mrgreen: :hunf:


----------



## Bleu Fizz (Jun 8, 2012)

Hello, I'm new to KP. It has taken a little while for me to consider joining but have realised like the rest of the world there is good and bad in all. Also realised that this would be the case when taking the plunge to join but agree wholeheartedly how demoralising it can be that being sincere is not rewarded in a similar courteous fashion. But I have two ears and will try to let it in one and out the other. Bleu


----------



## DonnieK (Nov 23, 2011)

When someone openly critizes, they are trying to show their "supposed education" and I have straight away said "Who cares what you think?" without being hateful about it. This is my place for peace and calm in a world that has become so "self" consumed. Here, our worlds come together with kindness and free friendships without knowing much at all about each other. There are no pre-conceived notions about how someone looks or acts or what short comings they may or may not have. No one cares if you are rich or poor if you have stringy or curly hair or your teeth are in bad condition or your ears are unevenly placed or anything else. We just know that your knitting/crocheting/etc. is wonderful and your sharing is wonderful and therefore you are wonderful.
If someone is being hateful, harrassing, demeaning, or any other form of abuse, they should be reported to admin. and let admin do the confrontational stuff. You should not have that put on your shoulders. We do enough of that in the "outside world". God bless each and everyone on this site for the incouragment, for the love of your craft, and for sharing a bit of yourself with me each and every day. You are all very special to me and I am sorry we are having a few people mess up things for others.


----------



## Grandma Jan (Apr 6, 2011)

Life is too short to let anyone's negative energy get into your system. Sometimes we have to just understand that some people haven't had the same background/life experiences that we have had to give us our positive outlook. Ignore the negative posts with no response at all and use them as a reminder of how lucky we are to be living with a postitive attitude in life.


----------



## CinDeeLooWho (Oct 14, 2011)

I became familiar with the term "trolls" a few years ago when I had joined an on-line group about animal shelters. I came across a few "members" who wormed their way into an on-line clique, then would become inexplicably nasty and manipulative, all the while claiming to be the innocent one. These people thrive on creating havoc and disrupting others' happy and innocent communication. It came down to this; no one really knows what face is behind the user name- even use of a pic with your name is suspect. 

With this in mind, it has become easier for me to ignore those Negative Nellies as probable trolls or basic chaos-loving individuals. Yes, admin should take action here... even suspend an account for repeated poor behavior. Unfortunately, they tend to come back as another innocent appearing name. 

So, yes- report these to the admin, and otherwise just IGNORE, IGNORE, IGNORE! It's not always a positive & loving world out there. Then- KEEP ON KNITTING!


----------



## EmmyPrewitt (Jun 11, 2012)

knitknack said:


> Guess the only way to avoid the negativity of the persons posts, is not to open them up. I so enjoy reading all of the marvleous things our sister knitters are working on, or have many WIP's and the posting of their completed projects.
> I would not let one person destroy the joy I experience while on this site.


I agree with this. I am a new member and haven't seen those kinds of post as yet here, but I have been around on other forums to know there are negative people every where. But most women I find on forums are very, very nice and very, very helpful. And with negative post in threads---when I see who it is from I would just skip over it. I would hate to put aside friendships with so many for just one or two bad eggs.

You know it always seems that one negative comment always takes so much weight over so many good ones. It shouldn't be. I struggle with that too, and I am saying it to myself as well. My husband and I have been laughing over things some brothers and sisters (one sister in particular) bad comments and mannerisms. I told him yesterday--'Why couldn't I have laughed at them years ago!!' It sure is good to not let the bad stick on. You know what I mean.

Be encouraged!--there are a lot of great people here!


----------



## me2memeinVT (Mar 5, 2011)

I enjoy this forum and when I read the bad remarks I laugh and think they are really stupid to vent their insecurities to the public! They must be bored to try to pick fights!!


----------



## MatildaM (Aug 23, 2011)

Yes, I agree. my husband says there is not changing people like that. So just laugh it off.


----------



## Pixie Dust (Sep 21, 2011)

I agree with you totaly that is the ugelist thing I have ever seen why dose she do that on this kind of site I feel that this is a home spun site.


----------



## endless creations (Jul 17, 2011)

Hello there,

Sorry to read this. Are you able to remove the reply in your thread/s? I know some forums if you start a thread, you can remove replies? Not sure about here, maybe send Admin a message and ask.

I have be taught if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. 

This is a concern to you, don't open up the members threads or when reading other members threads, just skip it and read the next reply.

There is way too much fun to be had on this site, please don't let the member or small amount of members upset you. Keep on posting questions, photos, etc so that everyone else can enjoy.

Happy Knitting!


----------



## Grandma val (Oct 6, 2011)

You speak for me also DonnieK. Admin has locked me which means I do not receive notification of the daily newsletter and comment from other members.He said I had reported spam, and I have no idea what this means and when I asked him to be more specific and help me avoid my mistake in the future , he was no help at all And yet other people can get away with upsetting members, it does,nt make sense . I love this site no one has ever upset me but I can imagine how it must feel. Dont let them get you down
Love and hugs to everyone Val


----------



## PaKnitter (Mar 7, 2011)

Grandma val said:


> You speak for me also DonnieK. Admin has locked me which means I do not receive notification of the daily newsletter and comment from other members.He said I had reported spam, and I have no idea what this means and when I asked him to be more specific and help me avoid my mistake in the future , he was no help at all And yet other people can get away with upsetting members, it does,nt make sense . I love this site no one has ever upset me but I can imagine how it must feel. Dont let them get you down
> Love and hugs to everyone Val


How can you be here if you were locked?

Maybe you should check your settings?


----------

