# What an insult



## Mary Cardiff (Mar 18, 2012)

Talking to a women in the shops today,She said I wouldn't put my GC in hand knitted things,I said as she didnt knit she wouldn't be able to,I have to agree ,some hand knitts I have seen on people are badly made,But she did wear the finger less mitts I made her,and said how lovely the jacket I made when her twin GC were born,


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## Dreamweaver (Feb 1, 2011)

That was rather rude, considering she has been the recipient of your work..... I think she forgot to think before se spoke... but I wouldn't be making anything else for her....


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## kiwiannie (Jul 30, 2011)

Theres no helping some people,they keep their feet in their mouths not the ground. :lol: :lol:


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## PaKnitter (Mar 7, 2011)

I don't blame her...if she can't stop and think before she speaks she probably can't follow a pattern anyway!


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## Stablebummom (Dec 5, 2011)

kiwiannie said:


> Theres no helping some people,they keep their feet in their mouths not the ground. :lol: :lol:


Ya Dere-Mint flavored socks!


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## Rita Ann (Jan 17, 2012)

You ladies are so RIGHT.....


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## laurelarts (Jul 31, 2011)

Some people speak before they think....she must really, really love what you made her if she is wearing them.


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## Brianna9301 (Aug 18, 2011)

How rude! Well perhaps she hasn't seen your lovely work, if she did she would change her mind.


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## slnovak (Oct 16, 2012)

Is it possible she was thinking how quickly they outgrow things? Or perhaps the amount of care some knitted items take? It sounds like she cherishes the treasures you gave her and the thought of a small one only wearing them a few times is sad?

Obviously her comments had nothing negative about your generousit or workmanship if she cherishes her gifts.

Or perhaps since she knows how much work goes into them, if she did knit she would want to enjoy them herself.


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## huneebee331 (Nov 23, 2012)

I agree with SLNOVAK. There are always three -- yes, three -- sides to a story. 1: what you say happened; 2: what I say happened; 3: what happened. It is easy to see from this story that her spoken words might not have matched what was in her mind at the time. I'd give her some slack on this one.


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## Neeterbug (May 25, 2011)

I am one that says things that come out completely different than what I intended to say. Afterwards I just shake my head and try to fix it by saying...what I meant to say is...


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## Joy Marshall (Apr 6, 2011)

I call it incurable insensitivity. They just can't get their head around the "do unto others" idea.


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## unie (Dec 4, 2011)

I try to look on the " cup half full " side of everything and overlook a lot of things.. because some people just don't think before they speak. :-(


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## Cindy M (Sep 5, 2011)

When someone speaks impulsively, they're speaking from the heart. This is how she really feels. Maybe she's saying she likes what you make to humor you. Something to think about when considering another gift for her.


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## Mary Cardiff (Mar 18, 2012)

I made her the fingerless mitts,a few years ago,when she complained her hands were cold in the shop,the owner of the shop insisted the shop door was kept open even on the coldest days,I will give things to the local charity shop in future,


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## tryalot (Apr 29, 2012)

Brianna9301 said:


> How rude! Well perhaps she hasn't seen your lovely work, if she did she would change her mind.


she's wearing it!!!!


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## tryalot (Apr 29, 2012)

Mary Cardiff said:


> I made her the fingerless mitts,a few years ago,when she complained her hands were cold in the shop,the owner of the shop insisted the shop door was kept open even on the coldest days,I will give things to the local charity shop in future,


Well, she must like them if she is wearing them,
You are right about one thing, there are some awful hand made items out there that shouldn't see the light of day. They give a bad name to all the beautiful stuff.


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## TinkU (Aug 31, 2012)

I had a sister-in-law that hated homemade gifts. She said they were "tacky". However, it didn't seem to bother her to pay outrageous amounts for "tacky" things she found at craft stores. I shocked her once by telling her that I'd sold numerous items. 

She hasn't received anything from me in years, including a simple Christmas card. Very blue bloodish, she is and not at all to my liking!


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## Grandma Jan (Apr 6, 2011)

Hoof in mouth disease.


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## Donnathomp (May 5, 2012)

Well, not everyone likes or enjoys knitted articles
Of clothing. some people never wear 
blue jeans , some hate wearing skirts or dresses.
I don't think we should take it personally.


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## mavisb (Apr 18, 2011)

I would give her the benefit of doubt, as I am sure she put her big feet into her mouth, and just blurted out words and didn't even think of the consequences.


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## valj46 (Jul 25, 2011)

Neeterbug said:


> I am one that says things that come out completely different than what I intended to say. Afterwards I just shake my head and try to fix it by saying...what I meant to say is...


since being retired i find myself saying the wrong thing at times but meaning something different must be my age


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## inishowen (May 28, 2011)

I put my foot in it with my new sil. I gave him a photo frame and said "you can put a photo of your new family in it" He has three children from his first marriage, and one with my daughter. I didn't mean he should exclude his other three children, but it sounded like I did. I was mortified.


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## Kathleendoris (Sep 20, 2012)

I have always thought, whenever I see a child in a hand-knitted garment, that someone loves that child enough to take the trouble to make something for them. Many of the items I and my friends make these days are donated to children's charities, but the same principle applies: love goes into the creation, even if it is not directed towards a specific child.

I would have tried to explain this to your lady. Nothing made in a factory, perhaps under exploitative conditions, can come close to a hand-knit when it comes to surrounding a child with love.


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## bonmouse65 (Jul 23, 2011)

People continue to say things without thinking first because we allow them to continue. I usually say something like, did you realize what you just said hurt my feelings or did you just not think about what you were going to say before you said it? That at least makes them stop and think about it and perhaps will think the next time before they open their mouth. AND, I would be one of those that would knit for charity before I made anything for her any more. What a wonderful thing you did for her when she told you her hands were cold all the time at work and so you set forth to solve her problem. What a wonderful friend you are!


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## aannggeell (Dec 7, 2012)

I'm also one to blurt things out. Sometimes I don't complete what's really on my mind. So the first part doesn't make sense unless I include the second part. If you know what I mean! Maybe she did mean that she wouldn't see her GC in any knit wear because she doesn't know how to knit.


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## courier770 (Jan 29, 2011)

Sometimes the best of us open our mouths and the wrong words tumble out. Not too many years ago I put nearly 200 hours of work into a dress for my grand daughter, knit from sock yarn. I received lovely compliments but one friend commented she wouldn't have put that kind of work into something that a 2 year old was likely to mess up pretty quickly. Her comment was merely from a practical standpoint.

Sometimes it's difficult to decipher exactly what someone means by their words.

I have a new delivery route and a new plant is being built on it. One day I asked the receptionist "what do you make here"...meaning what does the company manufacture. She thought I was asking about her wages.


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## Knitter forever (Dec 11, 2011)

People don't appreciate what you make,that's why I give to charity what I make.,and my knitting is very good. Sometimes people will ask me to make something,and I answer no I only knit for charity. My family I give them money,and bake candy,and fudge,and cookies. That's what they like,and I don't want anything from them,but their love .


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## jonibee (Nov 3, 2011)

Mary Cardiff said:


> Talking to a women in the shops today,She said I wouldn't put my GC in hand knitted things,I said as she didnt knit she wouldn't be able to,I have to agree ,some hand knitts I have seen on people are badly made,But she did wear the finger less mitts I made her,and said how lovely the jacket I made when her twin GC were born,


When a person makes it a point to be rude or perhaps she's envious of those who can knit or crochet. she had better be ready for your reply..which was a gem.


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## Gerslay (Oct 4, 2011)

You can't put your foot in a closed mouth!


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## dolores angleton (Mar 21, 2011)

Scratch that one from my Christmas list


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## Canamaha (Nov 23, 2012)

if she is wearing the mitts you made then it probably isnt anything personal. Maybe she really does understand and respect the time and care it takes to make handknit things and doesnt want to see that time gone to waste on rough,superfast growing,spill everything on everything children. I love love love my children with every fiber of my being,but when i make things for my younger 2,it's always with the cheaper yarns and without too much complication because i know they will either end up losing it,outgrowing it,or ruining it. Maybe she really does value your items.


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## knitty (Apr 4, 2011)

you can't fix stupid!


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## michaelena (Dec 14, 2011)

Give her some knitting needles and a ball of yarn for Christmas....lol


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## SharonM (Nov 25, 2011)

i have to agree with huneebee..... i hesitate to put my GC in handknits too. not because the knitting isn't worth sharing with them, but because their mother never taught them how to take care of anything, and all that work would be ruined. that said, i made each of them hats and scarves for the cold NH winter...hmm... wonder how long they'll last.


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## mysticsummer (Feb 4, 2012)

Before passing judgment, why not just ask, "what did you mean by that statement?" I've found there are many times I've misinterpreted the intent of the words by jumping on the words themselves.


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## Lucette (Nov 28, 2012)

PaKnitter said:


> I don't blame her...if she can't stop and think before she speaks she probably can't follow a pattern anyway!


hahaha!!!


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## MamaBonz 55 (Sep 24, 2011)

Did you ask why? Maybe her GC are too rowdy and hard on their clothes to risk anything but cheap stuff store bought things. Some kids are not taught to take care of things.


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## mmMardi (Jun 26, 2012)

Even a poorly made handknit item is made with love!


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## Joy Marshall (Apr 6, 2011)

Gerslay said:


> You can't put your foot in a closed mouth!


That is a good one. Never heard that expression before.
I recently went to a group's party where they have one of those Dutch of Chinese gift exchange things. The woman next to me opened hers and made disparaging remarks about it. Went on and on about how it was something she would never use, etc. I kept my mouth shut but I was sorely dying to tell her she was hurting someone in the room's feelings. I received something I didn't really like, either, but raved about how nice it was.


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## Redhatchris (Apr 21, 2012)

My mouth sometimes works faster than my brain, too.
People who have no appreciation for hand knit items just don't realize the love and time that go into a project.
Merry Christmas. You can always tell her that if she has any hand knit items she no longer needs or wants, a donation to a homeless shelter would be very much appreciated.


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## dkwolf (Oct 26, 2012)

i know that sometimes babies can get their lil fingers and toes caught into the open weave of knitted and crocheted fabric, so it is quite possible that is why she made the statement that she did. if the child is older, she may have meant that the child is hard on wear, and she wouldn't want to put the child in clothes that would become dirty or torn in short period of time.

perhaps asking her to clarify and continuing a conversation would have been best to find out exactly what she meant and giving her the chance to explain her point of view. perhaps she did not mean it as an insult. sometimes folks think that what they are saying is clear, when it might not be. since she does seem to appreciate knitted items, there may be some very good reason she said that she wouldn't want her grandchild to have knitted items.

just saying, grins, debra


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## Lurker 2 (Sep 2, 2011)

Mary Cardiff said:


> Talking to a women in the shops today,She said I wouldn't put my GC in hand knitted things,I said as she didnt knit she wouldn't be able to,I have to agree ,some hand knitts I have seen on people are badly made,But she did wear the finger less mitts I made her,and said how lovely the jacket I made when her twin GC were born,


i tend to agree with Jynx's comment on page 1.
Not very polite of her!


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## Ms knit a lot (Mar 19, 2011)

mysticsummer said:


> Before passing judgment, why not just ask, "what did you mean by that statement?" I've found there are many times I've misinterpreted the intent of the words by jumping on the words themselves.


Good morning all,
I think we all have had things said to us that sting. I now try to take what is said with a grain of salt. Trust me sometimes it is difficult not to rise to the bait but I try to be the bigger person. I too have put my foot in my mouth with my new in-law family. So I try now to see us all as individualsand really think before I speak.

"The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right place but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment."
Dorothy Nevill 1826-1913


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## MargaretEllen (Dec 12, 2011)

She is so lucky to have GC. I never will have and would give my eye teeth if I could to have even one. Someone I know when her first GC was due her daughter asked her for some hand knits. Her reply, 'Like I have nothing better to do with my time' I couldn't believe it, my needles would be red hot. I have knit for others but I still wish it could have been closer to home.


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## Sammi (Nov 6, 2011)

Agree with Sharon above, I remember how careless grands are with their play activities, and I would never let anyone of such a young age wear something that someone else spent soooo many loving hours on, only to have it ruined, perhaps the first wearing, by snagging, or tearing, we have no idea how ruff, or gentle her grands really are. I do not think it rude at all, considering she knows what good work you do, wearing your work is a compliment, is it not?


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## susannahp (Nov 7, 2011)

kiwiannie said:


> Theres no helping some people,they keep their feet in their mouths not the ground. :lol: :lol:


 :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## Ronie (Jan 21, 2011)

Stablebummom said:


> kiwiannie said:
> 
> 
> > Theres no helping some people,they keep their feet in their mouths not the ground. :lol: :lol:
> ...


I have been guilty of eating mint flavored socks myself.. its not that I intend to hurt anyones feelings it my inability to fully express myself in one sentance.. it comes from growing up in a large family .... you have to talk fast to get the attention then you can explain.. or you go through life being seen and not heard.. unfortunatly somethings come out rude and I'm just as horrified until I can explain.. I do think she meant that they are a lot of work for so little time.. not that your knitting had anything to do with it.. What she clearly doesn't understand is the reason why we knit.. we enjoy creating beautiful items.. and enjoy seeing people appreciating them...


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## denvervet (Jun 4, 2012)

At my 56 years of age and being male, I have realized that when people do and say things that are upsetting to you, you need to call them out on it and let them have the stress of the situation and not yourself. They will only respect you more and watch what they say around you in future. My personal opinion is that poeple from the east coast are much better at this, I now live in Denver and its just not socially acceptable to "speak your mind". I am not going to keep my feelings to myself anymore living here, watch out you Denverites! LOL. Also, notice that some people say things very subtlely to prove they are better than you are? Ever notice that? It's a self worth thing. No one is better than anyone else in this world. I am having a rough time in life with a disability and lack of work....I got an email from a relative asking me for prayers because they bought a home on a private island and they have not sold thier condo on a beach and their other home on a golf course yet.....how insensative! And here I sit living day to day with illness and a meager income......unreal! I didn't answer the email and wont be answering any in future or sending any prayers that way!


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## JTM (Nov 18, 2012)

Could be that she wouldn't put in that much work on something that would be outgrown in no time flat. Now that my GC are nearly adult, I would be happy to knit for them...but I didn't when they were growing like weeds.


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## mzmom1 (Mar 4, 2011)

_Maybe_ she meant that they would be too rough on handknits made with the kind of expensive yarns you can get in the LYS, and damage them. Who knows what her GCs are like? They may be lil hellions. :lol:


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## absgrams (Apr 12, 2011)

absolutely Most people who say that do not know how to knit 
Just look what they are missing 
My GC at 18-14-14 still ask for new mittens hats and scarves every year and wear all the lovely sweaters I make them


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## Simply Irresistible (Oct 26, 2012)

Such an immature statement! As an aside, I would like to say that as craftspeople we should remember that trends and fashions change. That's just the way of the world. We should try to use our traditional crafts to create contemporary items that can be part of our children and GC lives. That way we might also also encourage the young ones to try our crafts and continue the traditions.


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## Kateannie (Mar 21, 2011)

This is probably a VERY stupid question.....but what is GC?


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## mzmom1 (Mar 4, 2011)

mavisb said:


> I would give her the benefit of doubt, as I am sure she put her big feet into her mouth, and just blurted out words and didn't even think of the consequences.


You're right, Mavis. Some people only open their mouths to change feet. :?


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## absgrams (Apr 12, 2011)

Kateannie it is grandchildren


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## Lurker 2 (Sep 2, 2011)

denvervet said:


> At my 56 years of age and being male, I have realized that when people do and say things that are upsetting to you, you need to call them out on it and let them have the stress of the situation and not yourself. They will only respect you more and watch what they say around you in future. My personal opinion is that poeple from the east coast are much better at this, I now live in Denver and its just not socially acceptable to "speak your mind". I am not going to keep my feelings to myself anymore living here, watch out you Denverites! LOL. Also, notice that some people say things very subtlely to prove they are better than you are? Ever notice that? It's a self worth thing. No one is better than anyone else in this world. I am having a rough time in life with a disability and lack of work....I got an email from a relative asking me for prayers because they bought a home on a private island and they have not sold thier condo on a beach and their other home on a golf course yet.....how insensative! And here I sit living day to day with illness and a meager income......unreal! I didn't answer the email and wont be answering any in future or sending any prayers that way!


 :XD: :roll: :thumbup:


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## mzmom1 (Mar 4, 2011)

Kateannie said:


> This is probably a VERY stupid question.....but what is GC?


It is NOT a stupid question...inquiring minds want to know!
GrandChild/ren. It's one of those shortcuts we use here like:
DH-dear/darling/dang husband
MIL, FIL, DIL, SIL-mother, father, daughter, son in law
DD-dear daughter
DS-dear son
GD-granddaughter
GS-grandson


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## Kateannie (Mar 21, 2011)

I made hats, scarves and mittens for 5 GC one Christmas and when they opened them, they started to act silly and laugh at them. I was so stunned that I went into my bedroom until I could compose myself. I was on the brink of tears. Since that time, these same GC get gift cards or money for birthdays and Christmas. They were in their early teens and were never taught to say thankyou or appreciate the time and effort put into a gift if it wasn't bought off the shelf. Lesson learned.


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## domsmum (Jun 20, 2012)

dkwolf said:


> i know that sometimes babies can get their lil fingers and toes caught into the open weave of knitted and crocheted fabric, so it is quite possible that is why she made the statement that she did. if the child is older, she may have meant that the child is hard on wear, and she wouldn't want to put the child in clothes that would become dirty or torn in short period of time.
> 
> perhaps asking her to clarify and continuing a conversation would have been best to find out exactly what she meant and giving her the chance to explain her point of view. perhaps she did not mean it as an insult. sometimes folks think that what they are saying is clear, when it might not be. since she does seem to appreciate knitted items, there may be some very good reason she said that she wouldn't want her grandchild to have knitted items.
> 
> just saying, grins, debra


My mum in law made a beautiful lacy cardigan for my baby daughter but it was a nightmare as her tiny fingers kept getting caught in it. Didn't want to be ungrateful so she only wore it when we visited and I was pleased when she grew out of it. Maybe the tactless friend had a similar experience


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## bright (Mar 28, 2012)

This is kind of off topic but I do agree with what everyone said as possibilities.
Now, let me say this, as I think of it.
I know that people sometimes think that homemade should look like store bought, but that is not the way it should be at all. We are not machines, we are not tiny fingered children, we are women and we are creative in so many ways that should be expresses and honored. Let us continue to do that for each other and it will spread down through the generations as it should.
Knitting Paradise is a good site to do just that.


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## absgrams (Apr 12, 2011)

wow Katieannie ;O( and you need those warm knitted mitts hats and scarves in MN 
Just like we do up here in Winnipeg 
Sharon 
ps we are winter outdoors people maybe that makes a difference == Can't skate on the lake without warm clothes


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## Kateannie (Mar 21, 2011)

I guess what I made them just wasn't "cool"!!


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## absgrams (Apr 12, 2011)

well KEEP ON KNITTING Katieannie 

Sharon


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## sibergirl (May 4, 2011)

Don't take it personally. Sometimes people engage their mouths before their brains.


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## azmoonbugs (Dec 2, 2011)

Mary Cardiff said:


> She said I wouldn't put my GC in hand knitted things,


no hand knits for her!


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## nitcronut (Aug 9, 2011)

Mary Cardiff said:


> Talking to a women in the shops today,She said I wouldn't put my GC in hand knitted things,I said as she didnt knit she wouldn't be able to,I have to agree ,some hand knitts I have seen on people are badly made,But she did wear the finger less mitts I made her,and said how lovely the jacket I made when her twin GC were born,


Dear Mary Cardiff is it possible that she meant to say "I would'nt put my GC into hand knitted things since I know it takes a lot of work and they would not appreciate your work and treat the items right. Since she wears the mitts you made her and the jackets for the twins I would give her a break. Some folk don't know how to give or receive a compliment. Just keep on knitting and give it to those you think will like it. My joy and feeling of accomplishment come in the making and not so much in the giving. Merry Christmas and a joyous New Year to you.
nitcronut


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## ashworthml (Nov 1, 2012)

That's just rude,especially as she received some of your lovely work.I love seeing babies in hand knitted or crochet outfits,they always seem so cute


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## seamus (Dec 15, 2011)

A difference of opinion, and the ability to speak it is everywhere I'm afraid. My son and his wife were expecting their first child. I was so thrilled, and proceeded to knit a very complicated shawl for the baby. I met the wife's mother, and I told her I was knitting a shawl. She immediately informed me without any apologies that she was knitting the shawl and I couldn't do that. She later phoned and apologized and told me to continue with my shawl. When the child was born - a girl - I did not ever see her in my shawl, but always in the shawl the mother of the bride had knit. I don't know what happened to my shawl, but it was never used. My son would not say anything and cause a problem. I let it slide off my back, and didn't knit anything else for any of my now 4 GC. An explanation? There isn't one - there are some peculiar people in this world, who just push forward and don't give an inch to anyone else.


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## radar (Dec 6, 2011)

My So 's son , a lovely man, has a wife that thinks that she is smarter than anyone. She has immediately right in front of my eyes destroyed a sweater and hat I made for eldest daughter by mangling the sleeves with turning up the cuff which was made to fit tightly on the wrist and not droop down over hands. Then proceeded to give 1 1/2 year old a huge glass of grape juice which she promptly spilled on the sweater. 70 dollars worth of expensive yarn and my time gone in 1 min. I gave son a pair of socks for father's day. Wife was not there, but last time he was over he asked for another pair of socks as his last pair has disappeared. I know they and everything I ever made is gone into the garbage or to 2nd hand stores. She tries like crazy to knit and sew, to sing, to paint, to do anything I do, which is fine. It isn't in her to be able to do things like that very well, because she teaches herself and asks for compliments even if it is badly done. Not wishing to discourage her, I do compliment her. What is up with that attitude. I have never seen her kids or hubby wearing anything I ever made. I quit giving them anything. So for the daughter, I make socks for her & her little guy as he loves my socks and won't wear any other kind. I make for everyone except the DIL who destroys my stuff. Can't give her a beautiful vase with flowers as she will take the whole thing apart and jam them in a milk bottle or some catchall container, smile and say "doesn't that look better?" We just sit in stunned silence, looking at a beautiful, expensive floral arrangement totally destroyed. It is just one thing after another. I think it is called passive agressive behaviour. Don't know what else to call it. We try not to visit with them as it is very uncomfortable to be around her, and we never feel welcome, just tolerated. Cannot figure out why. She comes from a very wealthy family and she is a family doctor. Her hubby, SO's son, just does what he is told, or there is hell to pay. We aren't poor by any means, just not as rich.Youngest girl thinks girls are smarter than boys. Nearly spit my tea out when I heard that.Rest of the family is just fine except for that person son chose for a wife. He has a beaten look about him that anyone can pick up on. So sad, and it isn't just us having this stuff go on. Nevertheless, we will have a very Merry Christmas and I hope all my KP friends do too. God certainly loves you, of that you can be certain.


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## belinda (Mar 30, 2011)

huneebee331 said:


> I agree with SLNOVAK. There are always three -- yes, three -- sides to a story. 1: what you say happened; 2: what I say happened; 3: what happened. It is easy to see from this story that her spoken words might not have matched what was in her mind at the time. I'd give her some slack on this one.


I agree as well. Besides, it's history now, and 'tis the season for forgiveness and love. Life is short; forget it and move on.


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## absgrams (Apr 12, 2011)

wow she was just venting a bit 
If you can't share you feeling that is sad


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## radar (Dec 6, 2011)

Yes you are right belinda, a one time occurance, let it go. A steady unrelenting diet of this type of put downs gets to be a bit much.
I hadn't thought about it at all until this topic came up and I will forget it again, no doubt. Too much to feel happy about.


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## KnitterNatalie (Feb 20, 2011)

Dreamweaver said:


> That was rather rude, considering she has been the recipient of your work..... I think she forgot to think before se spoke... but I wouldn't be making anything else for her....


I totally agree! Another way to look at what occurred...consider that she's just received the last item you'll ever knit for her and hers!! Happy Holiday!


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## Diana321 (May 8, 2012)

She may have been thinking about how active young kids can be and didn't want a hand knitted garment ruined. I know I have more than once, with store bought sweaters, ruined one by spilling something on it or have gotten it snagged really bad by my
dog suddenly jumping on it. 

Could be that she puts a lot of value on hand knitted garments and 
just wouldn't want to see all that time wasted in one moment.

If she is wearing the garments you made then she must value them. 

The next time I saw her, I would say I was thinking about what you said and didn't think to ask you how come? Let her explain
and you may find it was just a misunderstanding.

Diana321


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## belinda (Mar 30, 2011)

absgrams said:


> wow she was just venting a bit
> If you can't share you feeling that is sad


Of course I didn't mean she shouldn't vent or share her feelings. I just meant that we can't be sure what she meant when she said it, and that once an incident is over, if there's nothing you can do to change it, that it drags your mood down to dwell on it. Better to think of all our blessings instead. There's just so much to be joyful about, I hate to see anyone unhappy over something like that.


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## seamus (Dec 15, 2011)

I believe one can train themselves to forgive, and consider where it came from - but forget?????? NEVER.


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## madhavisalem (Feb 16, 2011)

Some people have serious neuronal deficiencies between their brain and mouth... Therefore inabling them to think before they speak. Just curious... What happened to the policy 'If you don't have something nice, don't say anything at all'. My 6 year old has more sensitivity in her pinky finger with regards to others feelings than this woman has in her entire body !!! Today, I've seen so many topics about how their precious handmade gifts are not welcome or appreciated... It makes me genuinely sad. Does no one realize how much time gets put into something hand made... And every minute of that time is the love the person making it feels for the recipient ? I'm not an experienced knitter at all... But the few things I have knitted were made thinking of the person I was giving it to. So literally every stitch I knitted, I was thinking and hoping the person I gave it to loved it.... On the flip side it made me very OCD in that EVERY stitch HAD to be PERFECT or I would rip it back and knit it again....


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## maisey67 (Aug 30, 2011)

Is it possible that she meant that the GC would not take care of a hand knitted article?


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## madhavisalem (Feb 16, 2011)

True story- I made my sister a shawl using Lion Brand Homespun... My first 'big' project... I was done and so proud cause she really needed it to stay warm at work. Well, I blocked it all wrong... To the point it was more appropriate for a bathroom mat than a shawl !! I wanted to cry (well, I actually did) I showed it to my sister... She felt so bad for me, but she wore the shawl as a skirt for her 'Khaleesi' costume


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## Maxine R (Apr 15, 2011)

Mary Cardiff said:


> Talking to a women in the shops today,She said I wouldn't put my GC in hand knitted things,I said as she didnt knit she wouldn't be able to,I have to agree ,some hand knitts I have seen on people are badly made,But she did wear the finger less mitts I made her,and said how lovely the jacket I made when her twin GC were born,


You just can't win, I agree some peoples knitting leaves alot to be desired. :-(


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## martimac57 (Apr 21, 2012)

When I have made things for the wee ones, I try to use materials that are as maintainence free as possible and easily repairable. I want the wee one to be able to wear the item without the Daughter sitting on pins and needles that something is going to happen to it. Maybe it is just me. But the items I make are to be worn and used and not kept in a chest of things GM made you when you were little growing up. If it is well made it will last the test of time. Just my thoughts.


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## cattdages (Aug 3, 2011)

Reminds me of the old saying...

"Opinions are like a**holes, everybody's got one"

ill-informed or not!


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## martimac57 (Apr 21, 2012)

Very very true.


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## Ginny K (Jun 1, 2011)

Some people need filters on their mouths!


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## martimac57 (Apr 21, 2012)

Amen to that!!! :thumbup:


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## Murff (Nov 11, 2011)

I would not knit her anything either. Some people just don't think before they open their mouths.


Dreamweaver said:


> That was rather rude, considering she has been the recipient of your work..... I think she forgot to think before se spoke... but I wouldn't be making anything else for her....


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## druidsgirl (Sep 24, 2011)

Stablebummom said:


> kiwiannie said:
> 
> 
> > Theres no helping some people,they keep their feet in their mouths not the ground. :lol: :lol:
> ...


 :thumbup: :thumbup: Choking on the laces!


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## MarilynKnits (Aug 30, 2011)

I knit socks for my daughter, who enthusiastically appreciates them. Husband won't wear knitted items because of the kind of work he does. He is afraid of ruining the nice things I make and loves seeing them on daughter and me. When his friends have babies or grandbabies, he asks me to knit something for them and presents the item as a rare treasure.

Most of my knitting is with a senior citizen group which knits for charity. We give to the hospital, the VA, and some other groups that support less fortunate people. It is an outlet for my knitting creativity and I know the products are going where they are requested and wanted.

And then on a whim I made and American Girl doll dress for a friend's 10 year old. It was an unsolicited surprise. Wow, was that ever appreciated! Made my day to see the little girl's face light up.

I think the trick is to assess your audience and do your hard work for those who are most likely to appreciate it.


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## nitnurse (May 20, 2012)

Mary Cardiff said:


> Talking to a women in the shops today,She said I wouldn't put my GC in hand knitted things,I said as she didnt knit she wouldn't be able to,I have to agree ,some hand knitts I have seen on people are badly made,But she did wear the finger less mitts I made her,and said how lovely the jacket I made when her twin GC were born,


I think she is harking back to the day when women would knit for their kids out of necessity, whether they were good knitters or not, and sometimes that really showed! I remember you could always tell the kids at school whose mums had knitted their school uniform jumpers for them. Invariably they hung badly from the neck and shoulders, tending to slip form the shoulders of those children who were slightly built. I know, my brother was one of the unfortunate recipients of said jumper, but as it was made with love and out of necessity, he wore it. There may be a snob element going on here that is thinking that purchased items are better. In fact now as we know that is not always the case. A lot of 'woollens' are acrylic and or made very cheaply in China. I bought a red cable knit cardi from Kmart for $19. I would have preferred a lovely well made wool hand knitted one, but could not on this occasion afford it and not capable enough with the needles to tackle cable pattern myself. Hand knitted stuff when well done (I am sure yours is!) are now more expensive than shop bought, so the boot should now be very firmly on the other foot and this lady is being silly if she does not value a hand knitted item! So rare these days to afford them!


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## nitnurse (May 20, 2012)

cattdages said:


> Reminds me of the old saying...
> 
> "Opinions are like a**holes, everybody's got one"
> 
> ill-informed or not!


I have not heard that one before but oh how true!! I love it!!!!

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


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## knittingbee (Jan 18, 2011)

This reminds me of what a yarn shop owner in Joliet told me once. She said there is a difference between home made and hand made. I try to make items that look hand made rather than home made. Back in the 20's and 30's home made was used as a sort of put down, as poor people could only afford home made things. Then, as we became a more affluent nation, things that were hand made were considered special. In her mind hand made was better than home made. She said the difference is in the quality of material and finishing technique.


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## Sherry1 (May 14, 2011)

Sounds like she was trying to de-value your talent. Not a nice thing to do.
Believe me, there are plenty of people who appreciate and cherish hand knits.


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## granjoy (Jun 29, 2011)

inishowen said:


> I put my foot in it with my new sil. I gave him a photo frame and said "you can put a photo of your new family in it" He has three children from his first marriage, and one with my daughter. I didn't mean he should exclude his other three children, but it sounded like I did. I was mortified.


Isn't that just the most awful feeling?? As soon as it's out of your mouth, you think "OMG, that came out SOOOO wrong....not what I meant at all...." .....but trying to explain what you DID mean just digs you a deeper hole....    I still cringe over a particular 'unthinking' remark I made more than 30 years ago!! However, it did serve to make me VERY aware of foot-in-mouth!!


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## rabuckler (Mar 19, 2011)

Don't make her anything else. Make for charity instead.


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## ute4kp (Nov 6, 2012)

That other woman is "trash".


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## kneonknitter (Feb 10, 2011)

Mary Cardiff said:


> Talking to a women in the shops today,She said I wouldn't put my GC in hand knitted things,I said as she didnt knit she wouldn't be able to,I have to agree ,some hand knitts I have seen on people are badly made,But she did wear the finger less mitts I made her,and said how lovely the jacket I made when her twin GC were born,


Really? Why not hand knits as opposed to machine made (prob in some Chinese sweat shop)? Is it because a price tag, per se, wasn't attached to it originally? This woman obviously has no appreciation for the knowledge, expertise, time & love put into a hand knit item. These are the people that don't deserve a hand knit item, period.


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## azmoonbugs (Dec 2, 2011)

radarShe has immediately right in front of my eyes destroyed a sweater and hat I made for eldest daughter by mangling the sleeves with turning up the cuff which was made to fit tightly on the wrist and not droop down over hands. Then proceeded to give 1 1/2 year old a huge glass of grape juice which she promptly spilled on the sweater. 70 dollars worth of expensive yarn and my time gone in 1 min[/quote said:


> no knits for her, ever!


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## SueFerns (Aug 16, 2011)

kiwiannie said:


> Theres no helping some people,they keep their feet in their mouths not the ground. :lol: :lol:


They don't wear out their shoes that way!! :thumbup:


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## Linda6885 (Feb 13, 2011)

Could she have meant the children wear clothes to hard, so handknits wouldn't be worth the trouble when they would be ruined?


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## Joan Thelma (Nov 18, 2011)

In my opinion, if someone doesn't appreciate all the time and effort that goes into a handmade article that you have given to her or him, it would be the last time I would ever make one for them.

I have a 17 year "high fashion" Grandaughter that asked me to make her a sweater. I let her pick out her own pattern from the Creative Knitting magazine and it took me 3 months to make it.(I lead a very busy retired life - LOL).

When she tried it on, she claimed it didn't fit her at the neckline. So, I redid it adding more stiches which made the neckline come up closer to her throat. Then, I sat back and waited for her to actually wear it.

3 months went by and I finally asked her why she hadn't worn the sweater. She gave me some flimsy excuse and I took back the sweater I had made for her and gave it to my best friend who was trilled with it.

I will never make another handknit item for this Grandaughter ever again!


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## Beachkc (Aug 24, 2012)

knittingbee said:


> This reminds me of what a yarn shop owner in Joliet told me once. She said there is a difference between home made and hand made. I try to make items that look hand made rather than home made. Back in the 20's and 30's home made was used as a sort of put down, as poor people could only afford home made things. Then, as we became a more affluent nation, things that were hand made were considered special. In her mind hand made was better than home made. She said the difference is in the quality of material and finishing technique.


When I was young, mother and dad to four boys, I sewed to augment my meger pay in order to keep a roof over our heads. I called it TAILORING.


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## mzmom1 (Mar 4, 2011)

Kateannie said:


> I made hats, scarves and mittens for 5 GC one Christmas and when they opened them, they started to act silly and laugh at them. I was so stunned that I went into my bedroom until I could compose myself. I was on the brink of tears. Since that time, these same GC get gift cards or money for birthdays and Christmas. They were in their early teens and were never taught to say thankyou or appreciate the time and effort put into a gift if it wasn't bought off the shelf. Lesson learned.


I'm afraid I would have stopped giving them anything at that point. If my GS ever laughs at something I made him, it will be his last gift. At this point he still seems to like 'Nannie socks' and 'Nannie sweaters.' He even sleeps with the watch cap I made him, but he's only 7. It may (probably will) be a different story in a few years.


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## mzmom1 (Mar 4, 2011)

nitnurse said:


> cattdages said:
> 
> 
> > Reminds me of the old saying...
> ...


At our house it was 'like noses, everybody's got one.'


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## kneonknitter (Feb 10, 2011)

Joan Thelma said:


> In my opinion, if someone doesn't appreciate all the time and effort that goes into a handmade article that you have given to her or him, it would be the last time I would ever make one for them.
> 
> I have a 17 year "high fashion" Grandaughter that asked me to make her a sweater. I let her pick out her own pattern from the Creative Knitting magazine and it took me 3 months to make it.(I lead a very busy retired life - LOL).
> 
> ...


I have a niece like that. Could we be related?


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## Ms knit a lot (Mar 19, 2011)

Oh my goodness it truly amazes me how mean comments really do damage to ones soul. My father was a very loving, generous man who spent his life as a teacher and guide to young people. He tried to instil in his children a sense of self worth and to be kind and loving to people who passed through our lives.
I know it is difficult when our love ones hurt us because we expect more courtesy and respect from them than from strangers. 
My Father gave me this piece of advise for me to use in my life. 

"Don't flatter yourself that friendship authorizes you to say disagreeable things to your intimates. The nearer you come into relation with a person, the more necessary do tact and courtesy become".
Oliver Wendell Holmes 1809-1894


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## Beachkc (Aug 24, 2012)

Ms knit a lot said:


> Oh my goodness it truly amazes me how mean comments really do damage to ones soul. My father was a very loving, generous man who spent his life as a teacher and guide to young people. He tried to instil in his children a sense of self worth and to be kind and loving to people who passed through our lives.
> I know it is difficult when our love ones hurt us because we expect more courtesy and respect from them than from strangers.
> My Father gave me this piece of advise for me to use in my life.
> 
> ...


Your father is a very wise man. thank you for passing it on.


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## sewknitbeadgrandma (Nov 1, 2012)

slnovak said:


> Is it possible she was thinking how quickly they outgrow things? Or perhaps the amount of care some knitted items take? It sounds like she cherishes the treasures you gave her and the thought of a small one only wearing them a few times is sad?
> 
> Obviously her comments had nothing negative about your generousit or workmanship if she cherishes her gifts.
> 
> Or perhaps since she knows how much work goes into them, if she did knit she would want to enjoy them herself.


I agree...children grow so fast that a knitted garment hardly gets worn....seems a waste.


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## courier770 (Jan 29, 2011)

On the other end of the spectrum...I knitted a scarf for a coworker and she LOVES it. Today it was a bit nippy here and she wore that scarf...even asking me to tie it for her..she really does love it. 

When you find people who adore the things you spend hours making, keep knitting for them!

I put a scarf in our "National" silent auction at work (to raise money for charity). My boss wanted that scarf for his wife so bad..but the bidding went beyond his budget..today he told me what he would pay for me to make one for his wife for next Christmas. I finally told him "pay for the yarn and let me work on it at my leisure, I'll have it in your hands by next Thanksgiving". 

As I said, when you find people who love what you do...do it for them!!!


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## MaryE-B (May 11, 2012)

I'd be in a bad mod too if I had to work with the door open on cold day, but it's no excuse for her behavior to you
Mrs. Scrooge (shop owner) needs a copy of a Christmas Carol to read. Your friend needs a copy of Miss Manners. 
Cross them both off your Christmas list and as you said, give to a chatity instead. 
I've certainly stuck my big feet into my mouth before, both at a time. i'm afraid. If anyone complained, I couldn't fault them.


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## RedQueen (Nov 25, 2012)

I think most of you ladies are being very kind to this person. Do people not realize hand-made items of any kind are more valuable than mass produced items? I have run into the same reaction a couple of times and it is very hurtful. I would just ignore her but never offer to do anything for her again.


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## hseekings (Aug 8, 2012)

Well I must admit I have been on the end of this too I have 3 lovely grand daughters and I'm not allowed to make them anything homemade my son in law just won't allow them to wear them I wouldn't mind but I'm a perfectionist when it comes to my crafts some people are just o rude


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## Joanne Hyde (Jul 8, 2011)

Could it be jealously? Children love it whrn you make them something because they love to make you things.


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## cattdages (Aug 3, 2011)

Ms knit a lot said:


> Oh my goodness it truly amazes me how mean comments really do damage to ones soul. My father was a very loving, generous man who spent his life as a teacher and guide to young people. He tried to instil in his children a sense of self worth and to be kind and loving to people who passed through our lives.
> I know it is difficult when our love ones hurt us because we expect more courtesy and respect from them than from strangers.
> My Father gave me this piece of advise for me to use in my life.
> 
> ...


Great quote, thank you for sharing.


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## Joanne Hyde (Jul 8, 2011)

i agree with Ms Knit a lot. You can say what ever you like but the other person does not have to like it.


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## msdotsy1 (Oct 17, 2012)

After making my first knitted beret I showed it to my oldest (critical) daughter, who bru-aaaahed it till I all but tossed it away. My nehpews wife caught a glance of it in my knitting basket and asked about it. I let her try it on, and yesterday she sent me a photo of her wearing it with two thumbs up. Now this same daughter is waiting for me to crochet a sweater for her.

These people can turn you off but as one poster said, when they finally take their feet out of their mouths you will be long gone and on to making a whole lot of other people feel special by the things you make.

Reminds me of my bff sitting at my table talking down my black cake about how heavy it is before my prayer group, and how she doesn't like black cake blah...blah...blah! Bet she is wondering why I don't call her azz anymore. :roll: :roll: :roll:


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## seamus (Dec 15, 2011)

Rude people are rude peope, no matter what excuse we try to find to explain their rudeness. The backlash from their rudeness can last a long time, and hurt, because then we wonder if everyone feels the same way about us. Once bit, twice shy - and to put it bluntly stay clear of them at all times. To the people who are having problems from inlaws, that is jealousy. Take it for what it is, and act courteous in their present, be yourself when they leave. Merry, peaceful Xmas to all.


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## Hannelore (Oct 26, 2011)

Maybe you could offer to teach her how to knit if she is unable to do so. Her comment might just have been due to that fact. She obviously doesn't mind wearing hand knitted items if she is still wearing the fingerless gloves you made her. I like to make things for my children and grandchildren all the time. I only get upset if I don't see the recipient wear the item at least once.


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## LunaDragon (Sep 8, 2012)

she probably never even thought about the things you have made for her. Some brains do not work well.


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## funkyknitter (Mar 21, 2012)

My mother used to say "consider the source ". The comment came from a person who can't knit and make beautiful things like you can. It's just insecurity.
She has to belittle what she cannot do because she is 
insecure is all. Just a pathetic psychological defense on her part and nothing to do with you and your lovely hand knits.


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## run4fittness (May 22, 2011)

some people


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## selyasa (Apr 10, 2012)

Maybe she's a "multiple."


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