# Dementia and knitting



## pajemo (Nov 23, 2012)

I wanted to share an amazing story with you all. My mom is suffering from dementia. She is in the later stages of the disease, rarely talks, can not focus on simple tasks anymore or take care of herself. Her day mainly consists of pacing for hours at a time. Will still do some coloring and word searches, making up words to circle if someone can get her to sit for more than 5 min. She has been a knitter all her life. When the disease started years ago she stopped doing all the things she loved. She did not live near me (a few states away) and when I would go visit my time was always full of cleaning and helping her around the house. Last month we moved her to a memory care facility a few miles from me. I am so excited to be able to see her all the time. I decided to bring some chunky yarn and needles to see if she could still knit. I cast on 15 stitches and gave it to her, she took the needles from me and began to knit row after row! It brought tears to my eyes, she had such a sweet smile on her face, it made some connection for her. She would only knit and do the purl stitch if I started the row for her switching back to knitting the next row. But a few days later she was doing the stockinette all on her own! I was so amazed she could still knit and get some enjoyment from doing something she used to love. I wonder if there are other people like her who can still remember things but need someone to show them the way. Thanks for listening.


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## standsalonewolf (Dec 1, 2011)

:thumbup:


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## Janetkee (Jul 8, 2014)

That is so sweet. My heart goes out to you.


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## mambo22 (May 11, 2011)

bless her heart. happy that she is now close to you.


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## Steel Magnolia (Nov 12, 2012)

I'm so glad you have the comfort of having her nearby you now. My father had Alzheimers so I know how hard it can be when you cannot connect to them. By re-introducing her to knitting, you have brought back a joy to her I'm sure! God Bless! You are both in my thoughts and prayers.


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## alwaysforyou (Dec 6, 2011)

I'm so glad she's closer to you and making connections...the mind is an amazing thing and having you to jump start her might just be the key to a little joy from before. You're a good daughter  Lynn


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## JillF (Feb 17, 2011)

Most people just don't take the time to find something that they can do. I worked in nursing homes for 15 years and it's very sad, but they can be happy.


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## cep0901 (Feb 7, 2014)

What a beautiful remembrance. Thank you for sharing.


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## Knitted by Nan (Aug 3, 2013)

That is wonderful, you have rekindled a deep memory in her brain. My daughter is a nurse and she says that they give the reborn baby dolls to dementia patients and they treat them just like real babies, it also rekindles memories. I am happy you could bring a little joy to your mum.


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## Cindy Griffis (Sep 10, 2013)

alwaysforyou said:


> I'm so glad she's closer to you and making connections...the mind is an amazing thing and having you to jump start her might just be the key to a little joy from before. You're a good daughter  Lynn


She's very lucky to have you nearby and taking such care to help her remain happy.


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## LindaLu (Mar 9, 2011)

I am so happy for you and your mom. My mom who could knit blindfolded, forgot how as she developed dementia. The same pair of half finished green mittens sat by her chair for the last two years of her life. She would say "I have to finish those mittens." At the time I didn't know how to knit, nor did my sister. I wonder if it would have been different if I could have given her a start as you did. Bless you both.


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## KroSha (Oct 25, 2013)

That's really lovely.

Something that can ground her and interest her enough to keep her seated and engaged, allowing her some "rest time" that pacers definitely never get.

I was responsible for my aunt (my mother's sister) who had alcohol dementia. She had been a needlecrafter, but her hand/eye coordination to either knit or crochet no longer functioned.

My mom, who had drug-induced dementia, had stopped knitting and crocheting so many years before, when we were taking care of my dad with Alzheimer's, that I was unable to reinvigorate her interest or ability in the craft.

I did try with both of them and I only wish that they had been able to do what your mom is doing. It is so important for dementia patients to have activities that feel productive; that aren't just eating, sleeping, pacing, trying to wander (escape/go home), going to the doctor, watching mind numbing TV or just sitting and staring.

Keep up the good work!


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## knitter360 (Apr 10, 2011)

How wonderful that you've taken the time and the patience to help your Mom have some quality of life. I took care of a lady for three years who also had Alziemers (sp) and at first we did all sorts of crafts then at the end she just wanted to sit, sing together and I read to her from children's books that had pictures. I made a point of having her talk with me as well as sing with me. It was one of the most fulfilling times of my life - she really touched me, so my heart goes out to you and your Mom. God bless you!


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## shepherd (Feb 25, 2012)

What a wonderful story - we are all so glad for both of you!


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## pfoley (Nov 29, 2011)

EveMCooke said:


> That is wonderful, you have rekindled a deep memory in her brain. My daughter is a nurse and she says that they give the reborn baby dolls to dementia patients and they treat them just like real babies, it also rekindles memories. I am happy you could bring a little joy to your mum.


====================

I think you are right about rekindling memories. I thought that also when about 25 years ago, my aunt was in a nursing home with alzheimers, and my mother, her sister, and I would visit my aunt at the nursing home once a week. She never smiled or talked to anyone, but whenever I walked in and sat in front of her and started to talk to her, her whole face lit up with the most beautiful smile as I held her hands as though she remembered me. I think my visits rekindled, in her, some memories of me.


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## Swig050 (Feb 20, 2014)

A few years ago I would go sit with a lady who had dementia so her daughter could run errands. Her name was Virginia. She could feed herself but that's all she could do for herself. She would say a word now and then but no conversation. One day I took her some needles with cast on stitches. I think I had done a few rows. I was so amazed. She took it and knitted for a whole hour.


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## Sharynreed (Nov 29, 2011)

Hi I am a Nurse who worked with Dementia patients for 12 years! Its wonderful that your Mom is knitting again! Congratulations! I have found that just taking the time to be with your parent helps quite a bit. :thumbup: So often children no longer have the patience.


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## Country Bumpkins (Feb 18, 2011)

Thanks for sharing that good news with us. It brought tears to my eyes. Bless your mother .&#9829;


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## Gundi2 (May 25, 2012)

:thumbup:


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## SometimesaKnitter (Sep 4, 2011)

What a wonderful thing to be able to do for your mother!


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## quiltdaze37 (Nov 16, 2013)




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## Nancylynn1946 (Nov 19, 2012)

So glad to hear you helped her find something she can remember and give her happiness. You can see it on her face. My Mother was exactly the same way,but when she went to sing-along, she remembered every word of each song. The mind is an amazing instrument.


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## retiredR (Mar 1, 2013)

How nice it is for you to have her close. My Mom had alzheimers and it was very hard, she thought I was her sister. But I just wanted to be with her. Miss her all the time.
Rita


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## virginia42 (Mar 13, 2011)

shepherd said:


> What a wonderful story - we are all so glad for both of you!


 :thumbup:  :thumbup:


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## Grandmaknitstoo (Jul 6, 2011)

Thanks for sharing. Your story brings tears to my eyes! God bless you and your mom.


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## pajemo (Nov 23, 2012)

My heart goes out to those whose lives has been changed due to dementia. It is such a terrible disease. The decision to bring my mom here was a hard one, My sister and I wanted to keep her in her own home for as long as possible and now she doesn't know she isn't there anymore. It breaks my heart to see her pace so much. She had such a beautiful garden, painted and decorated her whole home, knitted and other crafts, it is like she is restless because she is used to doing so much but can't remember how. There are so many wonderful stories some of you have shared about connections you have made with loved ones suffering from dementia. Thank you for sharing them and your kind words. My sister and I were always coming up with ways to try to connect with our mom. We became so close over the years takig care of her. Sadly my sister lost her battle with cancer the week before Christmas so I have been feeling a bit lost these last few months. The only blessing with my mom has with suffering from dementia is she does not know her daughter is gone. Thank you for all your support in dealing with my mom, I don't feel so alone.


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## marilyngf (Nov 5, 2011)

A very lovely story. I do believe if the people suffering from dementia could have a little one-on-one time, there would be many things they are still capable of.


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## beejay (May 27, 2011)

That is so lovely. Glad that she is now closer to where you live. She looks so sweet and seems to be enjoying herself.


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## luree (Feb 21, 2014)

That is wonderful and I'm so glad that she is now closer to you. Blessing!


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## knittnnana (Apr 20, 2013)

She looks so happy. My mom recently passed away while in a nursing home. She was in the beginning stages of dementia. Before she got sick, I would bring in old pictures to look at. She knew everyone 's name (which was good because I could write it in the back) and she even remembered the colors of her dresses, etc. She loved looking at the pictures.


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## grandmann (Feb 4, 2011)

Thank You, for sharing your story with us, I found it most interesting.


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## KroSha (Oct 25, 2013)

pajemo said:


> My heart goes out to those whose lives has been changed due to dementia. It is such a terrible disease. The decision to bring my mom here was a hard one, My sister and I wanted to keep her in her own home for as long as possible and now she doesn't know she isn't there anymore. It breaks my heart to see her pace so much. She had such a beautiful garden, painted and decorated her whole home, knitted and other crafts, it is like she is restless because she is used to doing so much but can't remember how. There are so many wonderful stories some of you have shared about connections you have made with loved ones suffering from dementia. Thank you for sharing them and your kind words. My sister and I were always coming up with ways to try to connect with our mom. We became so close over the years takig care of her. Sadly my sister lost her battle with cancer the week before Christmas so I have been feeling a bit lost these last few months. The only blessing with my mom has with suffering from dementia is she does not know her daughter is gone. Thank you for all your support in dealing with my mom, I don't feel so alone.


Please don't suffer that you moved your mom out of her home. It is much more important for YOUR ongoing health and survivability that she is near you.

My dad (b. 1914, Alzheimers, 1985-1995) was a wanderer because he wanted to "go home". Well, he WAS in his own home and had to be locked in, with supervision all the time of course. Where did he want to go? He was astonished at the question, that I wouldn't know the answer. "To Hollywood, of course!" he would exclaim, although he hadn't lived there since he was 29 years old.

My mom (b. 1918) WAS ALWAYS in her own home with me until a little less than a weeks before she passed. She crossed over at 94-1/2, and really only had spatial location problems for the last 6 months. This was following her first heart episode. After that, she progressively became of the belief that she wasn't home and wanted to go, get out, etc.

In the wee hours of one Monday morning, she fell backward onto the floor coming out of her bedroom while in one of her agitated states (slamming doors, anger, etc.). 911 to the hospital revealed that she'd had a heart attack. She came home but her inability to cooperate with mobility, lead to pneumonia, which led to Hospice. She was in a care facility just short of a week. By then, and pretty much the last 6 months, she was in her own reality about where she was and didn't believe for one minute that she was in her home.


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## Glenlady (Mar 25, 2013)

What a lovely story, so glad Mum is able to knit again :thumbup:


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## Janicesei (Jan 8, 2014)

So glad to hear about your mom. It is good you got her close to you. Her hands have memory for knitting. Will give her something to do. My friends mom liked the old radio shows. She listened to Amos and Andy, the old Jack Benny show and more. He got tapes and she listened and seemed to enjoy the shows. We don't know what the mind can do.

When you visit you can both knit now. Maybe take the pieces she makes and stitch into a small blanket. Change out the yarn when it gets the right size, give her a new color to start a new piece. Enjoy your time.


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## Mme Defarge (Jul 16, 2013)

Definitely it sound like muscle memory. You put the yarn and needles in her hands, and they "remembered" how to knit. That "memory" then traveled to her brain, and stimulated her memory of the stockinette stitch. I wouldn't be surprised if she started doing more intricate stitches, providing she did them years ago as well. 

Who knows WHAT memories are being held prisoner in the brain just waiting for the right key to unlock them. Some people with Alzheimer's start cooking when put in front of ingredients you just KNOW they can't remember, and yet, they put the recipe together perfectly.

That's why people "take off" on a walk, trying to find the paths and the surroundings that are locked as memories from a long-ago time that are deep in their brains.

Memories could still be in there....we just have to find the right "keys" to unlock the prison.

Your mother is an excellent example. I with her more knitting memories and busy hands making scarves!!


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## Gail DSouza (Nov 12, 2012)

That is wonderful!
You can see the joy on her face as she reconnects with something she loved doing!!
So glad she is now near you and you can visit her often!!


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## Alta Grama (Apr 16, 2012)

You've brought tears to my eyes. What a beautiful story and what a wonderful gift you gave back to her. I have no words to express how overwhelmed I am by your story. Thank you for sharing.


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## DonnieK (Nov 23, 2011)

I am so very proud of you for helping your mother to find some peace from her "pacing" need. I have mentioned that I was care taker for several family members and also for a husband/wife team after moving here. When I first started working there the wife would still sit at her machine and piece quilt tops and some very beautiful ones at that. But as her husband got worse, so did she. She quite quilting first, then I was crocheting one night and she expressed a desire to crochet again and so I brought yarn and hooks and got her going. She made some little purses and I brought them home and lined them and sewed the buttons on them. She was so tickled to be able to give them to her family at Christmas. They were not impressed, but, boy I was. It is because of her and her husband that I try to do for the seniors here. I am in the process now of making some of the really soft furry animals to take to the senior home for some of the dementia patients. Not what I had thought I would be working on at this time, but, when God speaks, I always listen and obey.
God bless you 10 x's 10 for helping your mother and for spending time with her because when she is gone, these memories you are making will be such a comfort when all the lights are out and you are alone with only your thoughts and memories.


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## Sherry1 (May 14, 2011)

My mom has Alzheimer's and her repetitive activity was smoothing out a dish towel until we figured she was ironing. She's got a little toy iron and is happy. I also got her an Alzheimer's doll that she loves to hold.
She crocheted afghans at one time. I should chain a few stitches and she what she does.


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## run4fittness (May 22, 2011)

Good for you! Maybe more will come back to her with help from you. {{hugs}}


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## Msharratt (Oct 15, 2012)

That is such a heart warming story. Your Mum looks so content knitting.


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## diane647 (Sep 25, 2011)

You are a loving ,kind daughter. It was so heartwarming to share the story of your mother's knitting.


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## Katsch (Mar 15, 2011)

How wonderful for her. I have a lump in my throat, sometimes we take so much for granted, don't we? I am so happy you thought about trying to see if she can knit :thumbup:


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## kiffer (Jun 3, 2011)

What a wonderful story. It's amazing how our brains work. Your Mom has a beautiful and I am so happy for you.


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## Montana Gramma (Dec 19, 2012)

Your mom looks like a sweet lady, so glad you have her close now.
One of my pts. laced and unlaced a shoe for 18 hours a day, for 5 years. She flew into a rage with family members if it was not visible. Even took it to surgery to have when she woke up. My Dad only wanted to listen to ball games, he did not speak the last 10 months and was blind from macular. But totally content to sit in front of the TV and hear. Maybe reminded him of the radio so many years ago. If you can relate to the era they are remembering there can be some communication at times. My MIL and her sister seemed stuck at teenage hood ( in the same nursing home) and they talked like it was today, even little squabbles they had as children were repeated and forgiven as they spent their days together. They passed at 97 and 95 , 10 days apart. We have to get this under research control, who is going to cope with millions in this state of mind, who can even afford to approach the situation in the family? It is like an epidemic and in my age group it is getting scary.


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## Knitted by Nan (Aug 3, 2013)

Montana Gramma said:


> Your mom looks like a sweet lady, so glad you have her close now.
> One of my pts. laced and unlaced a shoe for 18 hours a day, for 5 years. She flew into a rage with family members if it was not visible. Even took it to surgery to have when she woke up. My Dad only wanted to listen to ball games, he did not speak the last 10 months and was blind from macular. But totally content to sit in front of the TV and hear. Maybe reminded him of the radio so many years ago. If you can relate to the era they are remembering there can be some communication at times. My MIL and her sister seemed stuck at teenage hood ( in the same nursing home) and they talked like it was today, even little squabbles they had as children were repeated and forgiven as they spent their days together. They passed at 97 and 95 , 10 days apart. We have to get this under research control, who is going to cope with millions in this state of mind, who can even afford to approach the situation in the family? It is like an epidemic and in my age group it is getting scary.


I think your statement "If you can relate to the era they are remembering there can be some communication at times." is so very true. My sister died of inoperable brain tumour in 2009. She was diagnosed in May and died in the September. When I would visit her in the home just before she died she did not recognise me as her sister, she did not recognise her children. She had lost the power of speech and was talking gibberish, but at the end of the sentence she would say "and the three hail marys." Yes, we were raised Roman Catholic. When she saw me she would say "did you bring my cake?" because I always took her an especially nice cake and she would literally wolf it down in two gulps. She would then sit there and stare blankly at the TV, whether it was switched on or not. We could not reach her. But there was another lady who shared her meal table and for some reason she would recognise me, although she did not recognise her children. She started talking to me as if we were life long friends and I found myself wandering around the Perth of the 1940s and 1950s. I could discuss the buildings that were no longer there, the events that no longer took place, such as the May Day Parade, the Flower Day Parade, etc. She was extremely lucid when she was talking to me but the staff at the home could not get any sense out of her. They asked me to continue to visit her after my sister died. I did for another year until she died. I enjoyed the visits because I enjoyed her company and our visits to Perth of yester year.

When I was delivering books to the homebound readers when I was working in a public library I added an extra reader. She suffered from dementia. She did not recognise her children but always recognised me. She would take her little dog for a walk every day and when she got to the letter box she could not remember whether she was going out or coming home, so she took the poor little dog for another walk. Other residents had to come out and take her inside. She was living independently with meals on wheels and daily visits by the Silver Chain support group, no she did not recognise them either. But when she saw my car she would literally run home saying "the library lady is here, we are going to talk and have coffee". Yes, she insisted on making me coffee, no I was her guest and I had to sit whilst she made the coffee, she always remembered how I liked it. She would say "now I cannot remember what books are yours but you will know them". I would spend an hour with her talking or chatting really. Just idle chatter about gardens and dogs, nothing in depth, but it did brighten her day. The other people in the units said she always had a spring in her step when I left. I was rekindling a memory somewhere. Maybe I reminded her of a friend from her youth. It did not matter, she was communicating with another person. Her children actually complained to the library that they thought I was after her money and that is why I was wasting my time talking to her. No, I was not wasting my time and I was definitely not after any of her money. The library told the children that I was going to continue to see her because she obviously enjoyed my company. Yes, the senior librarian came with me on one visit to her and could see that she genuinely enjoyed my visit.

It is a difficult subject and sometimes I think the researches are a little heavy on 'book learning' when they search for cures, they should spend more time and effort researching the human touch of reaching the sufferers. Just my non professional view.


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## Sherry1 (May 14, 2011)

EveMcooke...thank you for your generosity! My mom lives in a 16 bed home. There are plenty of staff, visitors, people from various Hospice centers, volunteers. I notice that, because the "joint is usually jumping", the residents sense the activity and are happier as a result.. When I visit, almost daily, I make an effort to talk to those seated 
near my mom. I, too, wonder what I will do after my mom passes. I see others who just continue to visit long after.
I loved reading your story. I just visit the mom I find on any given day.


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## Mags1956 (Sep 15, 2012)

Thank you for sharing your wonderful story with us.


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## kiwiannie (Jul 30, 2011)

Thankyou for posting such a beautiful story,it is wonderful that your mum remembers how to knit,even better she is getting great pleasure doing it.That she can knit sitting down instead of walking all the time is also amazing,bless her.HUGSxx


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## mikebkk (Oct 6, 2012)

Thanks for sharing this. It's reassuring to know that some learned skills never leave us.


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## paljoey46 (Nov 20, 2011)

This brings tears to my eyes. How fortunate you are to be close enough to her. Perhaps your helping her with knitting has reawakened something that gives her pleasure. You and your Mom are in my thoughts and prayers.


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## Jillyrich (Feb 11, 2013)

This is so awesome :thumbup:


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## scottishlass (Jul 12, 2012)

Thank you for sharing


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## historiclady (Apr 8, 2011)

My mom was also able to knit long into her Alzheimer journey. I cast on about 20 stitches or so and she did garter stitch. If needed I evened it out. She made several long strips and when she died I added a few and sewed them up. I have a wonderful soft afghan to remember her.


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## PaulaP (Nov 12, 2012)

Thank you for providing inspiration and sharing your joy. Those of us in similar situations appreciate it.


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## damemary (Mar 14, 2012)

Thank you for sharing. It means a great deal.


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## KateB (Sep 28, 2011)

pajemo said:


> My heart goes out to those whose lives has been changed due to dementia. It is such a terrible disease. The decision to bring my mom here was a hard one, My sister and I wanted to keep her in her own home for as long as possible and now she doesn't know she isn't there anymore. It breaks my heart to see her pace so much. She had such a beautiful garden, painted and decorated her whole home, knitted and other crafts, it is like she is restless because she is used to doing so much but can't remember how. There are so many wonderful stories some of you have shared about connections you have made with loved ones suffering from dementia. Thank you for sharing them and your kind words. My sister and I were always coming up with ways to try to connect with our mom. We became so close over the years takig care of her. Sadly my sister lost her battle with cancer the week before Christmas so I have been feeling a bit lost these last few months. The only blessing with my mom has with suffering from dementia is she does not know her daughter is gone. Thank you for all your support in dealing with my mom, I don't feel so alone.


My mum suffered latterly with vascular dementia and she lost the ability to knit properly. She would pick up her knitting and do a few rows, but she was unaware of dropped stitches, mistakes, etc, and lost interest in it very quickly. One thing she loved to do was to pair up socks - I would bring her a basket of socks and she would happily ball them into pairs and she could do it correctly! She often did this many times throughout the day (I having quickly taken them away and unpaired them!) and I'm sure she thought she was helping me as she used to before. Dementia of any kind is such a cruel thing to happen to anyone, and my mum had always had a horror of "going doolally" (her words), but I am glad that she never had any lucid moments where she realised what was happening to her. Also in a way it was a blessing at the end after she broke her hip and was in hospital as she absolutely hated hospitals, but because of the dementia she had no idea where she was. As my Gran used to say, "Everything's tinged with mercy."


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## skeever4298 (Jul 20, 2014)

That is so sweet. She must have been a true lover of knitting before she got sick. Now it makes me tear up to see her succeed like this. Good luck and keep us posted


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## Bob1504 (Jul 20, 2014)

God bless her.


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## Marie from NC (Mar 3, 2013)

That is an amazing and heartwarming story. She is a lovely lady.


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## kestrelz (Nov 29, 2011)

Bless both of you. My mother died 10 years ago from dementia (frontal lobe). I know the heart break you feel.


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## Pippen (Jan 30, 2013)

I had tears in my eyes when I read your post.....my friend's Mom fell two years ago and broke her hip....she had to have surgery and after surgery we noticed that there was something not right...she couldn't remember who my friend was, or her grandchildren. We used to call her "Ouma Dol" because she was like a Mom to hubby and me, when it was her birthday, she wanted us there because she said we were also her "family", when we only called to say happy birthday, we got a scolding for not being there, and all of a sudden she didn't recognize us. My Friend took her to a neurologist and she was diagnosed with dementia. She could crochet the most lovely doilies and tablecloths, but she lost interest, my friend threw away all the crochet books, hooks and thread. Ouma lived in a flatlet next to their house....we urged them to take her inside their home and not to let her stay alone. She had black-outs and nobody new...they would find her on the floor if and when they went to see if she was ok. My friend and her husband believed that while Ouma can, she had to look after herself as long as possible. Nobody gave a damn to help her to do something that should interest her. She started having panic attacks and told us she only wants to move into my friends house to be with someone...she also just stared in front of her and saw nothing..... my friend used to get cross with her if she did something wrong or couldn't remember if she took her tablets. She started wearing clothes on top of other clothes because she couldn't remember whether she was wearing any....asked the same question over and over again untill my friend yelled at her. She got sick and they took her to hospital and the doctor's said she also had cancer again...she was clean for a long time...this time it was colon-cancer and they couldn't do anything for her. Eventually, when they could bring her home they took her inside their house. She was home from hospital for a week when she passed away in her sleep. And who's blaming herself now for getting cross because of silly things, not spending time with her Mom, not taking her along when they went somewhere and most of all....let Ouma stay outside in the flatlet when she new her Mom needed help the most....!!!


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## marthalj (Sep 23, 2012)

Prayers for both of you.


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## disgo (Mar 2, 2013)

You will also find playing their favorite artists/songs from the past helps in the background.

A photographer who enjoyed model cars started superimposing them on actual backgrounds of old buildings like old gas stations etc. He had a gerontology specialist friend that used them in therapy to get non-speaking patients to talk. The same can be done with old catalog pictures of old appliances etc. to get responses. Loved the gentleman on the PBS special that was completely withdrawn until he had ear buds place in his ears with some of his favorite music--even the other patients were amazed when he would open his eyes wide, sing and carry on a conversation. As in the recent advances in stroke therapy the brain is an amazing organ and can be re-directed to perform or remember old activities.


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## Patti110654 (Jun 8, 2011)

That is the sweetest story I've heard in a very long time . . . I hope it continues to help her connect Bless you for caring so much for your mom. My mom passed a year ago this Friday. She was the one to teach me crafts but wouldn't do anything in her last few years .


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## kareo (Apr 24, 2011)

Well done! You've made a significant improvement in her life and yours. God Bless for the challenges yet ahead.


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## dotcarp2000 (Sep 5, 2011)

What a lovely story. Dementia ,in any form, is so difficult to watch. My mom had several strokes that robbed her and the rest of my family of the wonderful person she had once been. But somewhere in the recesses of their brains is that same person ,just unable to express who they once were. My mom had no idea of where she was most of the time or what time of the year it was. Yet 2 weeks before my birthday she gave me a card and I reminded her that it wasn't my day yet and she just said-- I know. And she died on my birthday. She knew more than we gave her credit for.


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## J222B (Jul 5, 2014)

Great idea! I wish I had thought of this...


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## Laurenb53 (Jan 25, 2013)

That is wonderful, my mother had Alzheimer's and even though she knit all of her life, she gave it up . The only thing she remembered was the Lords Prayer which she could still say up until about a week before she passed.
She did like to listen to music of her time.


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## Ann745 (Oct 29, 2012)

Thank you for sharing.


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## Windbeam (Jul 31, 2011)

So glad for you that she is happy.


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## knittingnanna19 (Nov 6, 2013)

Many thanks pajemo for your post, a really heartwarming story. It has prompted a lot of interesting posts. Thank you to everyone else who had a story to share. The struggles some people have to cope with are absolutely astounding.


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## timtookie (Jun 5, 2011)

Great that this is giving her some contentment. It is to be celebrated.


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## cafeknitter (Apr 2, 2013)

pajemo said:


> I wanted to share an amazing story with you all. My mom is suffering from dementia. She is in the later stages of the disease, rarely talks, can not focus on simple tasks anymore or take care of herself. Her day mainly consists of pacing for hours at a time. Will still do some coloring and word searches, making up words to circle if someone can get her to sit for more than 5 min. She has been a knitter all her life. When the disease started years ago she stopped doing all the things she loved. She did not live near me (a few states away) and when I would go visit my time was always full of cleaning and helping her around the house. Last month we moved her to a memory care facility a few miles from me. I am so excited to be able to see her all the time. I decided to bring some chunky yarn and needles to see if she could still knit. I cast on 15 stitches and gave it to her, she took the needles from me and began to knit row after row! It brought tears to my eyes, she had such a sweet smile on her face, it made some connection for her. She would only knit and do the purl stitch if I started the row for her switching back to knitting the next row. But a few days later she was doing the stockinette all on her own! I was so amazed she could still knit and get some enjoyment from doing something she used to love. I wonder if there are other people like her who can still remember things but need someone to show them the way. Thanks for listening.


That's terrific! Brought tears to my eyes. I had a similar experience with a dear friends mom diagnosed with Alzheimer's. She was an avid self taught knitter. One day during a " craft time", there was yarn to be used on the craft. She reached over took the skein if yarn from someone's hands. She took two pens and began to knit.


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## faigiezipper (Apr 25, 2011)

She is lucky to have you for a daughter. I have a feeling the knitting brings her comfort. So fortunate you thought of it. Enjoy time time you have left with her. My mother is gone and I miss her terribly. Moms are special. Dads are too.


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## Ranger (Apr 26, 2012)

LindaLu said:


> I am so happy for you and your mom. My mom who could knit blindfolded, forgot how as she developed dementia. The same pair of half finished green mittens sat by her chair for the last two years of her life. She would say "I have to finish those mittens." At the time I didn't know how to knit, nor did my sister. I wonder if it would have been different if I could have given her a start as you did. Bless you both.


My mom too forgot how to knit, a purple dishcloth was at her side the last years of her life. She'd comment now and then that she needed to finish it, I have it now and can't bear to finish it.


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## gheitz (Apr 14, 2011)

what a wonderful true story


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## csknits (Jun 16, 2013)

How heartwarming! I wish you and your Mom the best.


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## Ladyj960 (May 22, 2013)

Wonderful!! :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## BarbB (Sep 12, 2011)

Am so happy that you are close to your Mom again. Prayers for your Mom and you!


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## gaseniorgal (Oct 29, 2011)

So wonderful to hear your story.


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## KroSha (Oct 25, 2013)

Pippen said:


> I had tears in my eyes when I read your post.....my friend's Mom fell two years ago and broke her hip....she had to have surgery and after surgery we noticed that there was something not right...she couldn't remember who my friend was, or her grandchildren. We used to call her "Ouma Dol" because she was like a Mom to hubby and me, when it was her birthday, she wanted us there because she said we were also her "family", when we only called to say happy birthday, we got a scolding for not being there, and all of a sudden she didn't recognize us. My Friend took her to a neurologist and she was diagnosed with dementia. She could crochet the most lovely doilies and tablecloths, but she lost interest, my friend threw away all the crochet books, hooks and thread. Ouma lived in a flatlet next to their house....we urged them to take her inside their home and not to let her stay alone. She had black-outs and nobody new...they would find her on the floor if and when they went to see if she was ok. My friend and her husband believed that while Ouma can, she had to look after herself as long as possible. Nobody gave a damn to help her to do something that should interest her. She started having panic attacks and told us she only wants to move into my friends house to be with someone...she also just stared in front of her and saw nothing..... my friend used to get cross with her if she did something wrong or couldn't remember if she took her tablets. She started wearing clothes on top of other clothes because she couldn't remember whether she was wearing any....asked the same question over and over again untill my friend yelled at her. She got sick and they took her to hospital and the doctor's said she also had cancer again...she was clean for a long time...this time it was colon-cancer and they couldn't do anything for her. Eventually, when they could bring her home they took her inside their house. She was home from hospital for a week when she passed away in her sleep. And who's blaming herself now for getting cross because of silly things, not spending time with her Mom, not taking her along when they went somewhere and most of all....let Ouma stay outside in the flatlet when she new her Mom needed help the most....!!!


It's so sad when people don't educate themselves about seniors, the elderly and dementia. Your Ouma experienced things she shouldn't have had to. Now your friend has 20 20 hindsight and feels some degree of guilt. Such is the nature of ignorance and denial.


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## Isabel L (Nov 20, 2011)

Beautiful story. 
It reminded me of my grandmother who crocheted granny squares, many......., during her final years when she had dementia. My mom would sew the afghans together so all of us have more than one. Each square was quite perfect until near her end of life. It gave her many calm and happy hours while she was in a nursing facility.
I worked many years in nursing facilities and loved to see the few that could continue with past loves like knitting and crocheting. It was so calming to our dementia folks.


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## TennKnitter (Jul 24, 2013)

You are a loving daughter and bless you for caring for your mother and rekindling her love of knitting. :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## Nonicita (Jun 10, 2011)

My aunt also had dementia and lived with my mother. Each day she would knit a square. Mother could tell by her stitches whether or not she was having a good day. When she passed away, we made afghans from the squares. They are beautiful works of art and remind us of the love and devotion between sisters.


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## czechmate (Jun 17, 2011)

wow


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## mjo (Jul 21, 2012)

pajemo said:


> I wanted to share an amazing story with you all. My mom is suffering from dementia. She is in the later stages of the disease, rarely talks, can not focus on simple tasks anymore or take care of herself. Her day mainly consists of pacing for hours at a time. Will still do some coloring and word searches, making up words to circle if someone can get her to sit for more than 5 min. She has been a knitter all her life. When the disease started years ago she stopped doing all the things she loved. She did not live near me (a few states away) and when I would go visit my time was always full of cleaning and helping her around the house. Last month we moved her to a memory care facility a few miles from me. I am so excited to be able to see her all the time. I decided to bring some chunky yarn and needles to see if she could still knit. I cast on 15 stitches and gave it to her, she took the needles from me and began to knit row after row! It brought tears to my eyes, she had such a sweet smile on her face, it made some connection for her. She would only knit and do the purl stitch if I started the row for her switching back to knitting the next row. But a few days later she was doing the stockinette all on her own! I was so amazed she could still knit and get some enjoyment from doing something she used to love. I wonder if there are other people like her who can still remember things but need someone to show them the way. Thanks for listening.


I cast on several hats on circular needles for my Mom while my sisters and I took turns taking care of her. She always had a knitting project to work on this way. I would do the ribbing and then she would do the stockinette sts. Then I would take the hat back when it was time to do the decreases and finish it up. She loved working with her fibers and it gave her great comfort to have hats for her children and grand kids on her needles. On her last good day she stayed up late with me watching tv and talking she was too tired to knit but wanted to help me. I was crocheting a scrappy blanket from her stash so I gave her some of the yarn and she untangled it and would it into balls for me. When she died in July my sisters and I made sure there was a couple balls of yarn and a quilt block from the quilt she was working on buried with her.


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## debsu (Jul 26, 2011)

What a wonderful act of love you have given your Mom! I am so glad she is near you now, God Bless!


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## cgcharles (Feb 23, 2011)

:thumbup:


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## bonbarnie (Jan 23, 2011)

This is the worst disease that hurts both the patient and the families. glad to see this picture and share your suffering. Anyone who has been in this sorrow will say a prayer for you. Thanks for sharing.


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## jeannietta (Mar 14, 2011)

Your story made my day!


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## pennyforyourthoughts (Jun 2, 2014)

My mother too has dementia. She used to have a weaving and knitting supply shop which ended up in storage and she forgot how to use the knitting machine and all the amazing skills she had.....many without passing them on. I knit, crochet, spin incessantly now with the remnants of the equipment and supplies from that shop.... as I am so aware of the short ride we all have here on this spinning orb in space. She is aware unfortunately too many times and will cry unconsolingly at times. It is so hard to be there; I am not good at it..... too close.... too hurt.


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## Deb's Keepn Bzy (Mar 16, 2013)

Beautiful story. I'm so glad you were able to find something that gives her peace.


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## indinana (Dec 13, 2013)

Beautiful lady, beautiful smile. She is feeling joy.


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## CrazyWoman57 (Jun 7, 2013)

What a great story. Your mom is lucky to have you and you are lucky to have her. Knitting is good for our brains too when we challenge ourselves to learn new things. It is good for our souls too, to feel the sense of accomplishment and challenge. Not to mention the compliments we receive for our finished product, and the joy when we give our works of love to those we love and care for. When our souls are fed, our brains are fed, hopefully keeping us happy and healthy. Knit on!!!!


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## SouthernGirl (Dec 28, 2011)

You are a good daughter.


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## knit4zen (Apr 12, 2012)

Oh God bless you for thinking of knitting and God bless you Mom!


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## Dia90824 (Jul 28, 2014)

That story is beautiful.....enjoy the time with your mom knitting


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## dauntiekay (Jan 18, 2014)

That is so precious and a wonderful memory to keep with you--sometimes life is all about making precious memories that will last forever.


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## Obsessed (Jan 22, 2012)

Thanks for sharing your Mom's story. I tried to get my Mom to knit again when she was suffering from dementia, but she would stop and forget what she was doing. Thank goodness we all have lots of knitted and crocheted items she made for us through the years!


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## Myrle (Mar 15, 2012)

How lovely. I'm sure there are many others like her = they just need someone as thoughtful as you are to get them going. Your Mum is lucky to have you.


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## Coopwire (May 7, 2011)

Oh how wonderful. Thank you for sharing that story with us. You are a good daughter.


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## May (Jan 18, 2011)

Your story had me smiling and thinking of my Mom and of my three older half sisters, all gone. My Mom did not suffer from dementia thankfully, but two of my half sisters did... especially one. 
I'll speak for myself... knitting, sewing, painting have with not doubt rescued me during difficult times... especially the loss of my husband. I look forward to the evenings when I knit mostly... and still order yarn for an ever growing stash, which is like a treasure for me. Nothing like getting into a project, combining colors, even frogging is therapeutic...  How I "wish" other mistakes in life could just be frogged out and start all over again... My home keeps me busy, maintaining it and caring for it... I love my garden full of flowers... my children are not near... Both you and your sweet Mom are lucky to be near each other... You are a kind and loving daughter to her... what a blessing ... Thank you for posting your Mom's picture knitting, blissfully happy ... I have you in my thoughts and as another KP said, You Have Made My Day...


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## snughollow (Aug 4, 2012)

Wow! What a wonderful story, it brings tears to my eyes. As I teach, I try to tell students that after a while, it will come automatic and your fingers seem to just do the stitches on there own. This is proof that it does happen. It may give some of us some encouragement as we get older. It is certainly better than pacing back and forth that those do that have no craft hobbies. I hope she can continue.


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## plattitudeseeker (Feb 16, 2014)

Heart warming and gives me hope.. You showed me something inside myself.. When nothing is going right, I knit. When all things are well, I knit. Even if it is a simple dish cloth, I knit.. I always wondered what would be in my hands when I die, a rosary, a cross,, But now that question is answered.. Thank you.


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## Ronie (Jan 21, 2011)

I took care of a lady who had dementia/Alzheimers and she was deaf! her sister told me she was a avid knitter and her favorite color was Pink.. so I brought my ancient needles over to and some pink yarn and tried to learn to knit Continental.. I really had no idea what I was doing. She took them from me and showed me how to do it.. I was so impressed.. we bonded over that!! 

I'm so glad your mom has something to do with her time... she does have a nice contented smile on her face  that is worth a million bucks !!!


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## cullenbe (Jul 3, 2011)

I am so happy for you and your mother....Bless you both.


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## simplyelizabeth (Sep 15, 2012)

I'm so touched...I've been close to a similar situation. Those moments are so special.


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## maryjanejames (Sep 28, 2013)

Lovely story. What a blessing for you to have your Mom close by. And what a blessing for her to have such a caring loving daughter. God bless you both.


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## colon4me (Oct 2, 2011)

Thank you foe sharing your beautiful story and mat God bless you both.


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## mkbanklady (Apr 12, 2011)

Sweet sweet. I'm hoping someone remembers to bring me needles and yarn!


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## knitterforever (Jan 26, 2011)

Beautiful. Thanks for sharing and also for your Mother's picture. Brings back some beautiful memories for me. Your Mother is lucky to have you.


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## diane647 (Sep 25, 2011)

I am so touched that so many of you here on Knitting Paradise are such wonderful, kind, thoughtful and caring individuals. It does my heart good to realize that there are so many Good people in the world. Thank you all for sharing your individual acts of kindness.


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## crafterwantabe (Feb 26, 2013)

How wonderful. I never thought of that with my gramma. I wish I had. But it is to late now. Her smile is so beautiful... hugs for ou all.


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## fran the florist (Sep 3, 2012)

Know what you mean, one of our friends who has looked after sheep all his life lost all interest in everything around him, just sat all day. He is a lovely man, however our local council did an assessment and said he should go into a care facility, we are a close farming community and everyone loves Jack , as news spread I got calls from around the dale and we have taken on the care. What a change in him, we take him to local cattle sales, he loves them, we take him to the sheep sales and even take him around the dale to other farms. He will never get better, but his quality of life is much improved and he is happy, talking again about the things he loves, even goes back to when he worked horses on the farm. Last week he ventured to the shop and bought groceries.


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## Kansas g-ma (Mar 7, 2014)

pajemo said:


> I wanted to share an amazing story with you all. My mom is suffering from dementia. She is in the later stages of the disease, rarely talks, can not focus on simple tasks anymore or take care of herself. Her day mainly consists of pacing for hours at a time. Will still do some coloring and word searches, making up words to circle if someone can get her to sit for more than 5 min. She has been a knitter all her life. When the disease started years ago she stopped doing all the things she loved. She did not live near me (a few states away) and when I would go visit my time was always full of cleaning and helping her around the house. Last month we moved her to a memory care facility a few miles from me. I am so excited to be able to see her all the time. I decided to bring some chunky yarn and needles to see if she could still knit. I cast on 15 stitches and gave it to her, she took the needles from me and began to knit row after row! It brought tears to my eyes, she had such a sweet smile on her face, it made some connection for her. She would only knit and do the purl stitch if I started the row for her switching back to knitting the next row. But a few days later she was doing the stockinette all on her own! I was so amazed she could still knit and get some enjoyment from doing something she used to love. I wonder if there are other people like her who can still remember things but need someone to show them the way. Thanks for listening.


What a wonderful story-- you are both lucky to have each other and to be close in miles now. Best of luck. Some years ago I was asked to make a wheelchair caddy for a casual friend's mom. The mom had dementia and didn't know her daughter when DD came around. When I was measuring the chair, I told her I had gone to college with her daughter, mentioning her name. She got the most beautiful smile and said, "oh, yes, she is such a good girl and so good to me." I called DD and told her what had happened so she knew her mum appreciated DD's efforts.


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## maggiesmith (Dec 11, 2011)

Good morning. My heart goes out to you and your Mom. My mother passed last year from Alzheimer's. She had been a world class knitter (I still have outfits by her) and as the dementia progressed she took to knitting scarves, cast on thirty stitches and garter stitch til the yarn was finished. I was able to donate hundreds of scarves to the rescue mission. When she went into a care home I was astounded to learn she was giving knitting lessons. I guess it is one of the last things to leave.


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## dogLVR (Oct 16, 2013)

What a heart warming moment! I am so happy for you, and your mom. No wonder she was smiling while she was knitting. This is so beautiful. She is lucky to have you! Thank God for daughters!


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## jeanniestrong (Jun 6, 2012)

You may well have inspired others to try something similar in in their loved ones. My friends husband continues to sing in a choir and she encourages that. He needs some guidance but remembers the words and it is a very happy time for him.


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## knittingnut214 (Feb 11, 2012)

maryjanejames said:


> Lovely story. What a blessing for you to have your Mom close by. And what a blessing for her to have such a caring loving daughter. God bless you both.


I agree...I hope my family does the same for me....and sometimes I think I have the start to "dementia"...often wonder


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## softspots (Mar 12, 2011)

Thanx for sharing  I do hope that IF this happens to me someday that my children will remember that knitting gives me JOY, Peace, and is MY stress reliever.


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## lynnlassiter (Jun 30, 2011)

beautiful! so glad your mother remembers her knitting!


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## Frosch (Feb 5, 2014)

What a wonderful thing to happen. Good that you are able to visit your mome and share some memories with her.


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## WVMaryBeth (Dec 16, 2013)

My Dad 85 is entering this stage in his life. It amazes me that he can't remember a favorite show he's watched for years , let alone a single episode, but he still plays bridge each month and from what I've been told is a real shark at it!!! Thank you so much for sharing your stories. Its a difficult time but such stories are encouraging all the same.


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## sweetthing 74 (Jun 30, 2013)

Bless you and your Mom my Mother also has dementia and it gets harder each day but with Gods help we are taking care of her she also wants to go "home" I am praying for you both


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## RandyPandy (May 6, 2011)

My heart is with you. My mother passed away on Mother's Day from dementia. I moved to be closer to her when I retired. We had a year and a half together. My mom was in a wheelchair. She could talk, sometimes searching for a word. She always recognized her four grown children. Growing up, I saw her crochet, sew and do needlework. Later she became an artist, painting and doing sculpture. We made attempts at crocheting but she couldn't quite do it. Enjoy the memories you are making now. They will stay with you and be a comfort later.


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## knitnanny (Feb 28, 2012)

That is a wonderful thing to hear about and must have have brought a smile to your heart..


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## nannee (Mar 12, 2011)

Thank you for sharing your heartwarming story. God is good!


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## sjosie (Mar 27, 2014)

Thank you for sharing. My dad has dementia , it is a cruel disease and all the family suffers as they watch their loved one mentally dwindle away. God bless you for giving your mom something to do, wish my dad could knit.


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## HappySunflower (Feb 2, 2012)

Thank you for sharing. What a wonderful, thoughtful daughter you are. My husband's mother developed alzheimers. When he went to visit her she thought he was her brother so he just went along with her. One day when he was visiting, he lives in Kansas, she lived in Maine, she was wringing her hands and saying over and over, "I just don't know what to do." My husband said to her, "the Bible says to wait upon the Lord". She immediately smiled and said "that's just what I'll do. I'll wait upon the Lord". Although Lord sounded more like Lawd with her beautiful Miane accent. She was a wonderful, wonderful lady and loved by all who knew her. We have precious, precious memorie. Bless you for taking such wonderful care of your mother.


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## Merkknits (Feb 9, 2013)

My step-sister has dementia and is in a Memory Care facility. I gave her needles and yarn and she was able to knit. I found that she had apparently made a mistake and was able to fix it. She has not touched it lately, but I put it where she can see it and hopefully will pick it up again.


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## hatlady (Feb 7, 2011)

How wonderful that you and your mother can still connect in this way. You might also be interested in this article about Dan Cohen, who advocates music therapy for dementia patients, saying that when folks hear the music they enjoy most, they're calmer and happier:
http://www.bostonglobe.com/lifestyle/health-wellness/2014/08/10/with-dan-cohen/dWyftTlNSuzAqWIQVVwbhO/story.html


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## Marilyn K. (Jul 8, 2011)

I had a similar experience with a friend at Church who had a stroke. We have a Prayer Shawl ministry at Church and I was thinking that with all the beautiful work she did throughout her life that knitting/crocheting should almost be instinctive. I kept telling her, Helen, I really think you can do this." Like you, I gave her yarn and got her started. The first few creations weren't great actually, but now she is back to making beautiful prayer shawls. Apparently, you have to awaken those almost innate abilities from the outside. I just couldn't believe that those skills were completely lost - they were just hidden for a while.

God Bless you!


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## Cmj1960 (Mar 3, 2013)

that is an awesome story. My gramma' taught me to knit years ago and has since pasted - she suffered from Dementia too. I know that she stopped knitting years before she passed away - maybe we should have offered her the chance. Thanks for sharing such a touching story. :-D


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## Mitsue39 (Apr 3, 2012)

God Bless you both. Dementia is such a sad disease but it is the " bright" spots that get us through and will become cherished memories. I lost my mom to dementia and when my sis and I talk about her it is the good things- and yes, some of the really funny things- that we most remember.


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## laceweight (Jun 20, 2011)

What a lovely thing you have done for yourself and your mother. The joy and contentment just shines from her face. I wish you happy loving times together as she moves through her journey.


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## suehoman (Apr 24, 2011)

It warms my heart to think of the joy you have brought back into your mom's life - first, by being nearby and, second, by reintroducing her to a beloved pastime. I would think it would be so important for her to be able to feel like she is accomplishing something, and knitting not only helps to pass the hours, but must bring peace and satisfaction to her soul. Bless you for thinking of it, and for sharing. All the best to you both!


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## deechilders (Sep 24, 2011)

SO happy for you and especially for your Mom. Wonderful!!!


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## desertcarr (Feb 1, 2011)

What a wonderful story!


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## jemadu (Nov 9, 2013)

Wonderful. Thank you


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## Nana5 (Aug 17, 2011)

Loved your story about your Mom, it's the little things that make us smile! I helped my Mom with my Dad who had Dementia (Pick's Disease) for 7 years and loved the fact right up until the last couple of months before he passed away he knew my Mom & I. Mom was the last one he recognized....but, one time when I went to the nursing home when he was at lunch, just a couple weeks before he passed, he was being fed at that point, he looked up at me and said "that's my daughter", it's all I could do to not cry as he hadn't recognized me in over a month! He gave me one last memory at that point and I will always be grateful. You are doing a great job at being a loving daughter by finding a key to bring joy to your Mom and adding your own memories.....big hugs


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## Ginny K (Jun 1, 2011)

What you have done is so important and so loving.


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## shirleyoboe (Feb 21, 2012)

You brought me to tears....how wonderful that you found how to "reach" her!
My mom died of Alzheimer's 2 years ago, but didn't recognize us for at least 4 years before that. I tried all kinds of things to get her to respond, but nothing really worked. Music (especially opera, which she had always loved), really agitated her. For a short while I read to her; things she had read to us like R.L.Stevenson's poetry, but after a while she didn't let me.
I had also tried to get her to knit and hook rugs--which she had done--but she just couldn't get it!
My heart goes out to you---it is a very difficult journey!


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## wjeanc (Nov 15, 2012)

:thumbup: :thumbup:


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## gakernil (Aug 30, 2013)

my sister in law's mother was blind but had knit all her life also. got her knitting, once in awhile my sis in law had to pick up a dropped stitch but ended up stitching the strips together for a "throw"-----it was great!


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## rosered43 (Mar 27, 2014)

Such a great story. She's lovely!


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## Stardust (Dec 1, 2013)

Thanks so much for sharing your story. It gives me hope for the future. Will share this with my daughter, just in case I should come to the same as your mom. We never know how the end of our life may turn out.


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## peanutpatty (Oct 14, 2012)

No time right now to read all the posts, but I'll add my bit now and read later.
I had a friend (sadly she has now passed) who was a nursing matron for years. In the care home they set her up with a table, chair and some unimportant papers. She would happily look after her "patients" charts for hours at a time.


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## Karenno1 (Mar 17, 2014)

My heart goes out to you my nana had dementia didn't recognise anyone on top of the tv she would have 2 plates with biscuits on in front of photos of me and my mum and she would worry saying they've not eaten for days if you tried to move the plates she would cry and scream it was heartbreaking ..to anyone who cares for a loved one with dementia you deserve a medal ,as the person looks like your loved ,one ..then becomes someone else in your loved ones body ...this disease is so cruel god bless you all


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## Albani51 (Oct 26, 2012)

My Dad had Alzheimer's also and was an avid golfer. Even with his memory loss, he never forgot anything pertaining to golf and since he was in good shape physically, played well into his 80's.


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## knitminnie (Jan 29, 2011)

I am so glad that you found a way to "connect" with your mom. God bless you all.


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## DollieD (Mar 7, 2011)

What a blessing you are to her.
I, for one, thank you for her, for thinking of something she may connect with....and it worked!
I just love it!


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## Catladysher (Nov 7, 2012)

How wonderful!! This is a joy!!


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## damemary (Mar 14, 2012)

None of us knows what the future my bring. There but for the grace of God....


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## Woodsywife (Mar 9, 2014)

I am in the same situation as you. I'm hours away from parents. Mother's short term memory is gone. My father will not discuss placement. My mother sit and stares. She doesn't know what to do. If you tell her 'fold clothes, put dishes in dishwasher etc.' She can do it. But can't think to do it herself. As far as her knitting, she doesn't know what to do with the needles. Hope over time she will.


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## Gabriell (Sep 13, 2011)

I find your post very touching. Your mother is fortunate to be near you and have such a loving daughter.


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## Bleeshea (Jul 12, 2013)

That is a day you will keep in your heart forever. How wonderful.


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## knitgogi (Aug 25, 2013)

Your story brought tears to my eyes, and yes, your mom has the sweetest smile. God bless you and her as you continue this journey. So glad you can be near her. Thank you for sharing this heartwarming story.


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## love yarn (Oct 28, 2011)

I sell yarn, and several customers have bought yarn because the doctor told them to. it is just amazing, the counting, colors and relaxation it brings to them. I hear great stories. sugar is the number one cause, it keeps the serotonin from getting to the brain. serotonin refreshes our brain.


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## Cocoa (Jul 23, 2012)

Thank you for sharing this. I understand what a wonderful discovery this is for both your mother and you. My mother spent yhe last years of her life suffering from Alzehiemers and it was difficult to see her slip away from all her pleasures. It so good to know your mother has found this pleasure.


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## Moisey (Mar 17, 2013)

These are all very heart-warming stories & I am sure there
are different "triggers" which can get the brain active again in order to enjoy some previous memories including knitting & other crafts, which is wonderful. I too am worried about the future of an aging population here in Austalia and who will be trained enough to look after those with dementia.
We can't all rely on our children, that's for sure and we
urgently need research to find out the causes & early treatment if possible. A few nights ago on TV they announced that lack of Vitamin D can cause dementia. Most
of us who are not getting enough daily sunlight are now
taking Vitamin D capsules on a daily basis. I know it stops me from being a little depressed so I will be taking them for the rest of my life, but I still get a bit worried when I find I am doing "strange" things around the house but put it down to some family health issues involving stress, when I am not fully concentrating on what I am doing at the time, although I can still crochet complicated
patterns which tease the brain.
It is an issue which needs more discussion that's for sure.
Kudos to the Perth librarian for helping out her friend.
Cheers
Moisey
PS. I miss the Perth of the 1950's & 1960's as well and
rarely visit the city anymore as most of "my Perth" has gone.


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## lala57 (Jul 19, 2011)

That is so sweet. Its amazing how how the mind works. I'm glad she's closer to you. May God Bless you.


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## karla knoll (Aug 5, 2011)

Inspiring. Just lost my mom in February. This will be a top memory for you. What a blessing each day is.


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## joycevv (Oct 13, 2011)

What a nice picture of her. I knew a lady in advanced Alzheimer's who could still play the piano beautifully. It is a mystery.
May you have the strength to carry on. Blessings.


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## colleend2006 (Aug 25, 2012)

Thanks for sharing!


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## London Girl (Dec 18, 2011)

Oh Pajemo, you brought tears to my eyes too! I wish you and your mum the best of times and lots more sweet smiles! xx


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## anetdeer (Jul 16, 2012)

You got through!!! Love this post!


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## Mmeth (Nov 3, 2013)

my mom used to knit all sorts of stuff without any directions....one of the first signs of her Parkinson's dementia was when she could no longer do that....she realized that it was wrong and would rip what she was making, but could not figure out what to do to fix it...at the time, I was so focused on my dad ( who had multi infarct dementia) that I did not realize that her inability to figure out what was wrong (even when she followed directions) was one of the first signs of her dementia.....


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## calicolover (Jun 25, 2011)

That is the look of true contentment.


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## darber (Aug 13, 2014)

Your post has been such a blessing to me. It is wonderful how you brought enjoyment for your mom, as well as for yourself.


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## Safeya (Feb 2, 2013)

<3


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## gginastoria (Jun 2, 2013)

Thank you for posting and sharing the sweet picture of your mother.


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## jo everest (May 28, 2011)

:thumbup: :thumbup:


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## MrsBearstalker (Aug 11, 2011)

What a sweet story! I'm so very sorry that she has dementia and know what a tough time it is for us to see loved ones disappear bit by bit. She looks like a lovely lady in your photo and her smile is so sweet. I'm glad that you were able to help make her feel productive again and give her something to pass the time.


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## MrsB88keys (Jan 15, 2014)

I am so happy for you but especially your Mom. Both my Mom/MIL were in nursing homes for last yrs of life (troubled me that they had to be there, but I had no vote in both). My Mom knitted, but I never gave it a thought that she might want to try it again.....wish I had heard your story back then! My MIL used to crochet (I knit-don't crochet) & whenever I'd go visit, the 1st thing she'd look for after saying hello to me was my knitting bags. She LOVED watching me knit! She kept telling me stories of how her mother used to knit (actually, she didn't knit, she crocheted, but I was NOT going to correct her. She got enough of that w/other members of the family & that would irk me! But that's another story!) But if I brought my knitting bag w/me.....her eyes would light up!!!!!! Treasure these times w/your Mom!!!!! Ang give her a hug for me would you?


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## PhoenixFire (Feb 26, 2014)

bless you both.
my mom had memory issues after a tia. (it's like a mini stroke.) after a while, she started knitting and crocheting a bit. then she started drawing.
she drew every day... like a lightbulb going out, she burned brightest near the end.


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## ultrahiggs (Jun 4, 2012)

God Bless Her, what a lovely story


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## KnitterNatalie (Feb 20, 2011)

Oh, how wonderful! I'm so happy for both of you! Knitting may be a way to get your mom to "sit and rest" periodically through the day as well. Congratulations on your ingenuity! God bless!


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## Dimples16 (Jan 28, 2011)

That is wonderful. My mom has Alzheimer's disease. She gave me all of her yarn and needles. A few years ago she said that she wanted t o try to knit again. She told me that she was going to go out and buy needles and yarn. I said mom I have lots of yarn and needles that I can share with you. She decided after I gave them to her that she could not knit. I told her that I would help her. She would not try. Now it is to late. Mom went blind in both eyes a few months ago. She also found out that she is down to 5% hearing in one ear. She has been completely deaf in the other ear. So to try and explain to her how to do it she would not understand what I am saying. So sad. She use to make beautiful things. ( knitted and crocheted.)


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## meyersa0 (Jan 29, 2013)

What a dear daughter you are! So glad your Mom is finding fun in her life. Dementia is a horrible disease.


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## brain56 (Aug 31, 2012)

Thanks to all who have shared their stories here.
Blessings to you who are saying "the long goodbye" to their loved ones.


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## MrsB88keys (Jan 15, 2014)

God, please hold all those with Alzheimer's tightly in your arms......along with their loved ones


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## auntycarol (Mar 24, 2012)

That's great, and I'm so pleased you've been able to move her closer to you.


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## Villagerbgl (May 13, 2014)

God bless you...one thing I have learned about mind issues the God spark never goes out...my grandma had dimencia is as did all her sisters. She always perked up when we read God's word to her she could recite the verses and prayers. She knew god's presences. Too bad the church affiliated home could not find the time or desire to keep her close to god! Continue being God's hands for your Mum!


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## Kas0103 (Nov 19, 2013)

London Girl said:


> Oh Pajemo, you brought tears to my eyes too! I wish you and your mum the best of times and lots more sweet smiles! xx


My thoughts exactly! Enjoy the special times together. X


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## knitpick (Apr 21, 2011)

nice that your mom is closer to you


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## spinninggill (Apr 9, 2011)

You might be interested in looking at this website
http://www.stitchlinks.com


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## Sherlock (Jul 19, 2011)

Heartwarming. My mother, my MIL and FIL all had some degree of dementia/Alzheimer's. I can relate to your warm account of your mother with her knitting. With my mother we used to look at family photos and I'd ask her who everyone was. Remarkably she remembered all her children and the grandchildren. At 93, I didn't think it unreasonable that she couldn't remember the names of her great grandchildren. 

I found this time precious and moving, giving me a glimpse of how she must have looked after us with the unconditional love that parents have for their brood. These memories are some of my most dear.


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## yanagi (Jul 7, 2013)

:thumbup:


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## grammylynn (Mar 2, 2013)

That is wonderful she can still do that. I wish my mother-in-law could have done that she never sat down long enough to do a craft when she had her mind so ended up folding and refolding holiday tea towels for hours on end until her Dementia progressed to the point she didn't know what a towel was and would pull the pile off and eat it. Now we pull her arms out (muscles contracted to her sides she has no use of them) and put a doll in so she can see it, very calming to them. 

You have many more degenerative stages to go if she is still able to do that. That was my MIL 3 yrs ago.

Enjoy your time with her while she can still understand words.


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## sherryb (Aug 2, 2014)

Thank you for this story about your mom. What a wonderful gift you have given her! I just sent an email to my son and daughter-in-law asking them to give me yarn and knitting needles if I ever have dementia or go deaf and blind.


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## machriste (Jan 26, 2011)

My mom too had Alzheimer's disease. She had been a master knitter, but as the disease progressed, she was not into it. So, instead, I would bring whatever I was working on, or a pattern book, and she seemed to enjoy watching me knit or looking at patterns, yarn, or even just holding some yarn and feeling of it. I always tried to be working on something that was a bright, cheerful color. The yarn etc., almost always seemed to get her to converse a little about her memories of past knitting projects.


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## fairfaxgirl (Dec 26, 2012)

What a beautiful story and what a beautiful lady. Sorry she has dementia--hold on to all the beautiful memories shared when she was well. That she can still knit is awesome!


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## kneonknitter (Feb 10, 2011)

pajemo said:


> I wanted to share an amazing story with you all. My mom is suffering from dementia. She is in the later stages of the disease, rarely talks, can not focus on simple tasks anymore or take care of herself. Her day mainly consists of pacing for hours at a time. Will still do some coloring and word searches, making up words to circle if someone can get her to sit for more than 5 min. She has been a knitter all her life. When the disease started years ago she stopped doing all the things she loved. She did not live near me (a few states away) and when I would go visit my time was always full of cleaning and helping her around the house. Last month we moved her to a memory care facility a few miles from me. I am so excited to be able to see her all the time. I decided to bring some chunky yarn and needles to see if she could still knit. I cast on 15 stitches and gave it to her, she took the needles from me and began to knit row after row! It brought tears to my eyes, she had such a sweet smile on her face, it made some connection for her. She would only knit and do the purl stitch if I started the row for her switching back to knitting the next row. But a few days later she was doing the stockinette all on her own! I was so amazed she could still knit and get some enjoyment from doing something she used to love. I wonder if there are other people like her who can still remember things but need someone to show them the way. Thanks for listening.


How wonderful! G-d bless you both.


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## Farmwoman (Jul 2, 2014)

What a wonderful experience for both you and your sweet Mom. She does have a nice smile on her face, and looks to be a kind and loving person with a nice secret. Please Lord, let me remember to knit and purl when it's my turn. Enjoy her every moment!


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## ADyanne (Sep 30, 2013)

Thank you for sharing this. So happy for the both of you!


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## blawler (Feb 20, 2012)

Janetkee said:


> That is so sweet. My heart goes out to you.


My thoughts exactly. Aloha... Bev


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## yona (Feb 7, 2011)

I was so touched by your lovely story that I began to weep. 
What a wonderful daughter you are to bring her closer to you, to visit with her and bring her joy with knitting.

My mom taught me to knit when I was a little girl, so when my daughter was expecting, I would sit next to my mom's bed and knit while she watched. It amazed me how her knitting 'stories' that were at least 60 years old came back to her and how she commented on the stitch pattern I was using, i.e. basketweave etc..

I wish many more treasured times with your dear mom and thank you for your sweet story.


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## sparrefankerl (Feb 9, 2011)

pajemo said:


> I wanted to share an amazing story with you all. My mom is suffering from dementia. She is in the later stages of the disease, rarely talks, can not focus on simple tasks anymore or take care of herself. Her day mainly consists of pacing for hours at a time. Will still do some coloring and word searches, making up words to circle if someone can get her to sit for more than 5 min. She has been a knitter all her life. When the disease started years ago she stopped doing all the things she loved. She did not live near me (a few states away) and when I would go visit my time was always full of cleaning and helping her around the house. Last month we moved her to a memory care facility a few miles from me. I am so excited to be able to see her all the time. I decided to bring some chunky yarn and needles to see if she could still knit. I cast on 15 stitches and gave it to her, she took the needles from me and began to knit row after row! It brought tears to my eyes, she had such a sweet smile on her face, it made some connection for her. She would only knit and do the purl stitch if I started the row for her switching back to knitting the next row. But a few days later she was doing the stockinette all on her own! I was so amazed she could still knit and get some enjoyment from doing something she used to love. I wonder if there are other people like her who can still remember things but need someone to show them the way. Thanks for listening.


This is so strange. My mother had dementia/alzheimers. She lived with us for 10 1/2 years. She knitted till the day she died, she was 95. I would cast on for in the round and she just kept knitting round and round. When the knitting was long enough to wear as a cowl that you could pull up over your head, I would cast off for her. I still have the last few rounds she knitted before she died. What's even stranger your mother looks so much like my mother. Even the same hair. She was very tiny. In fact when I saw your mother's picture for a second I thought how did my mother get her picture on KP.


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## Jeanie L (Sep 27, 2011)

What a beautiful story..My mom passed away 3 years ago from Dementia she was 2 months shy of her 99th birthday..My mom was a great cook and had her own catering business for years..We took care of her in her own home till she was 97 years old..We would have her help cook the meal weather it was peeling the potatoes or cutting the veg's and for the most part she did remember what to do and it would also trigger some memories of her catering days because she would tell us of something that happened at a wedding that she had catered...Thanks for sharing and God bless your mom and you...


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## PenelopeGraham (Dec 26, 2011)

That's a wonderful story. Some time ago I was knitting squares for a blanket and my friend's mother who was in the later stages of dementia responded in a similar way. After a life of knitting she had not forgotten any stitches or techniques although she had forgotten all else. She continued to knit me squares long after I had finished the project. I did not care as it made her still and contented.


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## mgt44 (Jun 28, 2011)

So sorry about your mother but I'm inspired by your post. I am currently caring for my mother who has been diagnosed with early stage dementia; knitting is probably the only thing keeping me sane. My brother is meeting with Manor Care today so that she can get "the professional care that she needs." The main thing that worries me: will I get dementia? If I do, I have already instructed my 3 grown daughters to bring me yarn & needles. I already eliminated aluminum deodorant, pans, cans, etc from my life but the possibility still exists. My mother never knit, but for some reason, she loves to VACUUM the floor, which is a little tricky because she needs a walker to move around. If only someone would invent a cane or walker with a vacuum hose attachment!


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## mgt44 (Jun 28, 2011)

wow!


sparrefankerl said:


> This is so strange. My mother had dementia/alzheimers. She lived with us for 10 1/2 years. She knitted till the day she died, she was 95. I would cast on for in the round and she just kept knitting round and round. When the knitting was long enough to wear as a cowl that you could pull up over your head, I would cast off for her. I still have the last few rounds she knitted before she died. What's even stranger your mother looks so much like my mother. Even the same hair. She was very tiny. In fact when I saw your mother's picture for a second I thought how did my mother get her picture on KP.


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## Houkje (Oct 22, 2013)

Your message touches my heart very deeply. My mother spent the last two years of her life in a dementia care home and I visited her every day so I could feed her the mid day meal and tried to get her interested in all sorts of craft work. In her forties she started a school for pattern drafting and dressmaking and even when she was severely demented she still loved the feel of fabric. For a while she was kept occupied folding paper table napkins and small towels. When that became too much for her she would love and cuddle my grand daughter's baby doll for which I sewed clothes, any new outfits was sure to put a big smile on Mum's face.
Treasure every moment you are given with your mum. You're doing great work, you will not have any regrets just wonderful memories!


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## mgt44 (Jun 28, 2011)

okay you probably won't believe this, but I found a doll real cheap at the thrift store & bought it because I figured I could knit baby clothes and try them on the doll. It LOOKS like a reborn doll, but its just a knock-off (I think I paid $1.50 for it) anyway I bought it home and my mother sleeps with it every night. She talks to it, asks me to check on it (the doll) and almost fell trying to negotiate the stairs with her cane and the doll in her arms. She won't give the doll a name, just calls it "baby." I had no idea that nurses use them for dementia patients. My mother has been diagnosed with early stage dementia.



EveMCooke said:


> That is wonderful, you have rekindled a deep memory in her brain. My daughter is a nurse and she says that they give the reborn baby dolls to dementia patients and they treat them just like real babies, it also rekindles memories. I am happy you could bring a little joy to your mum.


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## Stephhy (May 14, 2012)

I just recently saw an article about knitting & dementia on AOL. They had many positive things to say. I found these elsewhere on line:

http://guardianlv.com/2014/03/knitting-could-delay-dementia-fight-ptsd/

http://www.labreporter.com/knit-to-delay-the-on-set-of-dementia/

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/7896441.stm

http://www.kissingitbetter.co.uk/knitting-and-other-simple-activities-help-patients-with-dementia-feel-useful/

I hope you find these interesting and more importantly, helpful.
Stephhy


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## bhappy41b (Feb 18, 2011)

Your story warmed my heart. So thankful you were able to move your mother to a nursing home near you to make it easier for both of you. May God Bless you both.


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## MaryCarter (Oct 17, 2011)

Short term memory is the first to go, while longer term memories are retained better. I worked in a Care Centre for Alzheimer Disease for ten years. We used music to bring back memory of songs and dance. I used to sit with a lady who would happily knit for hours without "wandering" If you asked (it was suggested not to) she wouldn't have been able to tell you what she was knitting. They "wander" because they feel they should be doing something, but can't remember what. I am so glad you can be happy about her now.


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## tinykneecaps (Dec 6, 2012)

How wonderful. Just keep the dear lady well supplied with yarn. Change the colors and she will probably notice that. Never mind WHAT she knits, just praise her THAT she knits. Just had a thought. Looks like she is knitting about a 6 inch wide strip. Have her do a few about 40 inches long, stop her and start another one and eventually sew them into a blanket for her. Bet that will kindle some memories, too.

Bless you and bless your Mom.


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## grammylynn (Mar 2, 2013)

mgt44 said:


> okay you probably won't believe this, but I found a doll real cheap at the thrift store & bought it because I figured I could knit baby clothes and try them on the doll. It LOOKS like a reborn doll, but its just a knock-off (I think I paid $1.50 for it) anyway I bought it home and my mother sleeps with it every night. She talks to it, asks me to check on it (the doll) and almost fell trying to negotiate the stairs with her cane and the doll in her arms. She won't give the doll a name, just calls it "baby." I had no idea that nurses use them for dementia patients. My mother has been diagnosed with early stage dementia.


The doll doesn't even have to look like a real baby as my MIL won't be calm without a doll in her arms and I give her a cloth doll from IKEA as it is machine washable and she can't pull the hair out to eat. She has it with her 24/7 for the past 2 yrs. She can't speak now so makes noises at it and cries leaning toward it when she sees it so we know she still wants it with her. If not laying on her pillow beside she won't go to sleep so have to wash it after she is asleep for the night. It is a blonde doll and her favorite son, my hubby, is blonde and when someone says his name she looks at the doll. She used to have the Fisher Price My First Baby (also washable) but she prefers this one now. Stuffed animals also worked until this late stage but she was strong enough to pull the eyes out and eat them. You will need washable when they get like her and drool constantly on everything around them.


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## grammylynn (Mar 2, 2013)

MaryCarter said:


> Short term memory is the first to go, while longer term memories are retained better. I worked in a Care Centre for Alzheimer Disease for ten years. We used music to bring back memory of songs and dance. I used to sit with a lady who would happily knit for hours without "wandering" If you asked (it was suggested not to) she wouldn't have been able to tell you what she was knitting. They "wander" because they feel they should be doing something, but can't remember what. I am so glad you can be happy about her now.


My MIL wandered with a mission. She thought she was 36 again and it was always at 3 pm that she started because she had to get home the kids would be coming home from school and they needed her. The mystery was she always was looking for the train, she has never been on a train that we know of. We lived on an island there was no train. She couldn't tell time so it was instinctual that she got the time right it was within mins of 3pm every day that she got agitated and had to find her boys. She would always thank us for having her and announce it was time for her to go now. She didn't believe us when we told her she was home and we were her kids all grown and married as she was only 36 so we were wrong. Thank you. Good bye. she would say as she tried to get the doors open. We had special locks on the top of the doors just above her head and she never looked up she was very mad at the door knob that didn't work for her. She could get out of every childproof lock we bought until this one.


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## Alta Grama (Apr 16, 2012)

I am crying after reading all your lovely stories because my experience was so terribly different. My mom passed away in February at 94. She spent her last 3 years in the hospital and care homes after breaking her ankle badly. I won't go into all the details but she spent her last year with a very, very angry outlook. She would shout loudly to me to shut up if I spoke, sang or read to her, closed her eyes & turned her face away. She would spit out anything I tried to help her eat, wouldn't allow any touch, nevermind hugging or kissing. Absolutely everything made her angry. My only comfort was that she held on to the shawl I knit her because she was always cold. I had to secretly & gently lay it across her shoulders and she slowly wrapped her fingers into the edge of it and held on for dear life. That was the last time I saw my mother, alive or dead, because my sister immediately had her cremated before I was even told she was gone.

So ladies, cherish every moment with your loved ones, you never know what the future holds. Bless you all who are able to offer comfort & know you reached some part of your loved one.


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## Linda Beth (Sep 16, 2013)

I was very touched by this and copied it & sent to my daughter with a note to remember this if I am ever in your mother's condition. My daughter doesn't knit, but I have taught her daughter. Thank you for telling us about your mother!


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## Colour wheel (Aug 4, 2011)

Your story brought tears to my eyes.


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## LadyElle (Oct 4, 2012)

Thank you for your story. My DH and I just turned 59 and he has been diagnosed with rapid-onset dementia with Lewey Bodies. He is currently still "with me" most of the time but I see the effects of the disease every day. I love that you have shared this with everyone. Your beautiful mom looks so at peace with the knitting in her hands. With dementia it seems the brain is in a frantic state much of the time which translates into pacing, repeating motions, etc. and to see her so calm and unaffected looking is so beautiful.


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## maxjrl (May 23, 2013)

What a beautiful story. Thank you for sharing.


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## dhollie99 (Mar 12, 2014)

That's very heartwarming...and God bless...


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## Verge (Jul 8, 2014)

My Mom had a stroke and in early stages of dementia. She could do nothing but watch TV. I tried the knitting,painting;things she once did. Did not work. Last summer we tried embroidering and she took to it like a champ! She calls it her work.


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## Verge (Jul 8, 2014)

My Mom had a stroke and in early stages of dementia. She could do nothing but watch TV. I tried the knitting,painting;things she once did. Did not work. Last summer we tried embroidering and she took to it like a champ! She calls it her work.


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## susan heierman (Sep 13, 2012)

This is such a special post. Your mom looks so pretty and content. Bless you both.


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## Kaitlyn25 (Dec 30, 2013)

When my great-grandma's mind started to go because of dementia I talked to her about the song birds... it was the only thing she could remember were the song birds


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## shawaneemom (Feb 25, 2011)

I hope I will always remember. What a great thing you thought about it.


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## oge designs (Aug 14, 2012)

What a beautiful heartwarming story. My Mum had dementia also, and it was absolutely heartbreaking to see my beautiful mum disappear slowly. My heart goes out to you, enjoy all your precious moments with her.


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## BTRFLY (Mar 2, 2011)

that is such a beautiful story. So glad she can still have some enjoyment from her knitting, and I am so glad you can see her all the time. Just shows how therapeutic knitting is. Hugs to you and your mom


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## Avery09 (Feb 8, 2013)

That is fantastic! My mother-in-law also had dementia. She could remember my husband going to first grade and things way back when he was younger ( he was 65 at the time ). But she could not remember if she had eaten. The brain is an amazing thing!! Maybe since your mother used to knit some time ago, she remembers how to do it now.


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## Grannie Sandy (Jan 13, 2014)

What a wonderful caring daughter you are. She raised you right.


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## MaryA (Jan 26, 2011)

That is wonderful. I'm so glad you thought of trying this. It looks as if she is enjoying herself. How blest you are to be close to her now. I wasn't able to be close to my parents in their last years so treasure this time with her. God bless you both.


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## LAURA C (Jan 21, 2013)

I would go with a friend of mine to visit her mother in a nursing home. There was a resident tied into a wheel chair in front of the nurses station. She obviously had dementia. We would stop and say hello to her.The nurses said she did some strange things with her hands and they had no idea what it was but it was definitely not neurological. We watched her hands for a minute and realized she was knitting. No needles or yarn but she was definitely knitting away with a smile on her face. It's unreal the things the brain recalls even when it is not fully functional.


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## kidbear (Jan 28, 2012)

What a great story.So glad she can remember something that makes her happy.You did a wonderful thing. :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## Velsyl (Jan 20, 2013)

I'm so glad she is closer to you now! Thank you for sharing your story! I think I will bring some knitting to my mother in law! She used to knit very well many years ago but now has little interest in anything. She is in earlyer stage of dementia. It might stimulate her. Thank you.


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## dorarudin (Jun 15, 2014)

happy for you and mom, thanks for shareing 
Dora


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## yotbum (Sep 8, 2011)

That's such a wonderful story. It warmed my heart. You're very lucky to have each other.


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## MASHEPP (Mar 13, 2011)

This is so precious. When my mom had a stroke, at first she couldn't even feed herself. The one thing she had always enjoyed throughout her life was playing cards. We handed her a deck and she could shuffle and deal them out as if she were a dealer in a casino. Bless your mom's heart. I lost mine a year ago and I miss her every day.


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## Revan (Jun 29, 2011)

Thank you for sharing your beautiful story about your mom. I am so happy for you and her. She is fortunate to have you as her daughter.


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## Keepmeinstitches (Feb 21, 2011)

The sweet smile on her face is worth a million dollars. Thanks for sharing.


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## Ggranof3 (Feb 22, 2013)

That reminds me so much of my Mom, she was in her 90's in the nursing home with dimentia but I used to take my knitting and sit with her while she knitted strips in garter stitch which we sewed on to cover her hangers. I still feel very close to her even though she has been gone for 2 years every time that I pick up my knitting.


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## Lucille103 (Aug 14, 2011)

She does have a sweet smile. Its so lovely of you to show her the way back to knitting, that will keep her calm and occupied. Such a hard thing to see someone you love with dementia.


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## Olde English Babydoll (Aug 23, 2013)

Your story is so moving. I don't think I've ever read so many beautiful replies. Thank you!


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## DHobbit (Jan 11, 2014)

:thumbup:


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## PauletteB. (Feb 7, 2012)

What a blessing. I have know for some time that task like knitting have been good activities to keep the mind sharp. This takes it to a new level for me. God bless both of you.


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## crookcrest (Feb 18, 2013)

My mother also suffers with this horrible disease. She last knitted about 3 years ago. Your story is beautiful.


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## sbeth53 (Mar 29, 2011)

Knitting must be a lovely memory for her. So glad you were able to bring something she loved back to her.


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## bevqual (May 9, 2011)

I love this. Knitting is so good for the whole of you... Body and spirit!


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## Dee in DM (Apr 22, 2014)

An amazing story and so heartwarming!


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## Can't sew (Jan 11, 2014)

I am just beginning to go through this with mu 96 year old father. So far his short term memory is not good. He no longer recognizes some of his 
Grandchildren. My mom (96) is caretaker and they still live in their own 
Home. Try to help as much as mom will let me but as she says "I want to
Take of us myself. She is very indenpdent which can be difficult at times.


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## Jules934 (May 7, 2013)

How wonderful of you to think of knitting and bring it to her!


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## Chads mom (Aug 13, 2014)

I love your experience with your mother. This gives me hope with my mom too.


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## RedQueen (Nov 25, 2012)

How wonderful! Your story brought tears to my eyes. My Mom used to knit too. Wonder if she would have gotten some joy out of it at the end of her life. So wonderful you can spend more time with her now.


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## moherlyle (May 14, 2011)

A lovely thing to see. Knitting is deep inside her muscle memory - and how wonderful the connection was made. She has such a nice look on her face. Thank you so much for sharing. This made my day.


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## sherrit (Jul 20, 2014)

What a lovely story. Thanks for sharing it. I am scared to death of getting dementia when I am old. This story gives me hope.

Sherri


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## jan the gran (Dec 3, 2012)

lovely, hope she continues to enjoy her knitting x


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## Rainyday (Jul 9, 2013)

pajemo said:


> I wanted to share an amazing story with you all. My mom is suffering from dementia. She is in the later stages of the disease, rarely talks, can not focus on simple tasks anymore or take care of herself. Her day mainly consists of pacing for hours at a time. Will still do some coloring and word searches, making up words to circle if someone can get her to sit for more than 5 min. She has been a knitter all her life. When the disease started years ago she stopped doing all the things she loved. She did not live near me (a few states away) and when I would go visit my time was always full of cleaning and helping her around the house. Last month we moved her to a memory care facility a few miles from me. I am so excited to be able to see her all the time. I decided to bring some chunky yarn and needles to see if she could still knit. I cast on 15 stitches and gave it to her, she took the needles from me and began to knit row after row! It brought tears to my eyes, she had such a sweet smile on her face, it made some connection for her. She would only knit and do the purl stitch if I started the row for her switching back to knitting the next row. But a few days later she was doing the stockinette all on her own! I was so amazed she could still knit and get some enjoyment from doing something she used to love. I wonder if there are other people like her who can still remember things but need someone to show them the way. Thanks for listening.


That is a wonderful story. How Lovely to have her near by. Knitting is a great therapy.


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## greatgran21 (Aug 21, 2012)

Your letter brought back a memory for me,many years ago (my children were all very young, I am now 81)Mothers day was coming up so I thought my children and I could make a lonely Mother happy for a day.i called the nursing home near our church to see if there was a lady there who never had visitors.what we did after Sunday School on Mothers Day was to make up little parcels (like soaps,hankerchiefs, washer,etc a bunch of flowers etc for her which my four youngest children gave her, it made me cry to see the joy it brought her. This lady was put in the nursing home two years before by her son who lived in another state and had never been back to see her, he told the staff just let me know when she dies and I will come and fix things up.
I could go on for ever but to cut it short we went every Sunday to visit all the men and women, my children learnt such a lot from the visits.
These people spent every day sitting in chairs doing nothing,so I started teaching men and women to knit just garter stitch the staff said they could not believe the change in them.twice a week I would call in to fix problems anyway by the end of the year they had knitted enough long strips of all colours to make a rug. The staff sewed it together,it was then raffled to buy Christmas presents for every one, I have never seen so many proud people over the crazy rug they all made,that rug was magic for a lot of very lonely people.


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## greatgran21 (Aug 21, 2012)

Your letter brought back a memory for me,many years ago (my children were all very young, I am now 81)Mothers day was coming up so I thought my children and I could make a lonely Mother happy for a day.i called the nursing home near our church to see if there was a lady there who never had visitors.what we did after Sunday School on Mothers Day was to make up little parcels (like soaps,hankerchiefs, washer,etc a bunch of flowers etc for her which my four youngest children gave her, it made me cry to see the joy it brought her. This lady was put in the nursing home two years before by her son who lived in another state and had never been back to see her, he told the staff just let me know when she dies and I will come and fix things up.
I could go on for ever but to cut it short we went every Sunday to visit all the men and women, my children learnt such a lot from the visits.
These people spent every day sitting in chairs doing nothing,so I started teaching men and women to knit just garter stitch the staff said they could not believe the change in them.twice a week I would call in to fix problems anyway by the end of the year they had knitted enough long strips of all colours to make a rug. The staff sewed it together,it was then raffled to buy Christmas presents for every one, I have never seen so many proud people over the crazy rug they all made,that rug was magic for a lot of very lonely people.


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## JeanneHolmes (May 4, 2011)

She looks soooo happy. Good for you for taking time to help her. She looks so contented.


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## elsie lacey (Dec 31, 2012)

Bless you for your observation and returning to your mom a skill she once enjoyed.


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## tweeter (Dec 22, 2012)

that is so wonderful of you moving her closer to you and bringing back the memory when she could knit. She looks so happy sitting there and knitting. It is so nice you can be with heroften cause you really miss them when there not here any more


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## gigi213 (May 28, 2012)

What a sweet story pajemo! The luckiest people in my mind are those that enjoy a hobby, so aren't we all happy here?! Your story just added another dimension to my theory. We are all blessed to have something to carry us through the toughest times, even when all else fails. I know music is something else that"speaks" to us and is a wonderful way to connect with those who've lost their memories. It puts them back in touch with something in their past when nothing else works.
Beautiful story, and how lucky your mother is to have you!


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## rkr (Aug 15, 2012)

OMGosh! I Soooo hope someone does this for me if I'm in this situation. 
I knit every day and have often thought about what I could still do if I end up blind/not walking (get to the shops myself)/etc incapacitations.
I know I could knit almost anything as I do it now w/o looking at the needles.
Muscle Memory!
Would just need someone to choose the color.

I've printed out a copy of your message and Mom's great smiling pleasure and will leave this where it's most likely to be seen by those who will care for me. THANK YOU for posting!
Bobbie R


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## ali'sfolly (Oct 27, 2012)

You are an amazingly loving daughter to have thought of this! I have no experience with dementia, but I do know you found a way to connect with your mother. I am so glad for you.


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## bellestarr12 (Mar 26, 2011)

Thank you for sharing your wonderful story! I wish you and your mom the very best and I'm so glad she's finding some joy in knitting again


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## Mmeth (Nov 3, 2013)

Can't sew said:


> I am just beginning to go through this with mu 96 year old father. So far his short term memory is not good. He no longer recognizes some of his
> Grandchildren. My mom (96) is caretaker and they still live in their own
> Home. Try to help as much as mom will let me but as she says "I want to
> Take of us myself. She is very indenpdent which can be difficult at times.


The only way my parents accepted help was when I told them that I was going to pay the person I hired anyway....if they did not allow her to help them, then it was wasting money....we all know what that generation thinks of wasting money!!!! My friend used the same line on her parents, and it worked for her as well...


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## catesgram (Jun 16, 2013)

What a wonderful story! She is lucky to have you.


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## Lynette L (Jun 27, 2013)

Very sweet story


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## Gweneth 1946 (May 20, 2012)

My mother has had dementia for four years now and knits to pass the time. She was a beautiful knitter but now she just casts on the stitches and knits till she is tired. The pieces are crooked and sometimes has holes but it keeps her busy. So sad.


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## MrsB88keys (Jan 15, 2014)

Gweneth 1946....I would still treasure those pieces! I think I might even frame some of them (if they're small)


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## LizB (Feb 2, 2014)

I had a friend who's mother continued to knit one long piece. As she worsened the stiches became looser and looser and you could see the digression as the disease progressed. My husband had Alzs and being a workaholic he would suddenly pack everything he had, or find his briefcase and head for the door saying he had an appointment. I finally put together a file folder with unsolicited mail and gave it to him each morning. This seemed to calm him as he "appeared" to study each piece anew each day. It helped to keep him home and safe. Bless you for being so alert to your mother's needs and memories.


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## KroSha (Oct 25, 2013)

LizB said:


> ... My husband had Alzs and being a workaholic he would suddenly pack everything he had, or find his briefcase and head for the door saying he had an appointment. I finally put together a file folder with unsolicited mail and gave it to him each morning. This seemed to calm him as he "appeared" to study each piece anew each day. It helped to keep him home and safe...


Very creative. Trying to bring dementia patients into our reality never works. We have to adapt to theirs. And when we learn to do that, it gives the best possibility of improving the quality of their lives. You found an excellent solution for a businessman!


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## tinker44 (Mar 27, 2014)

I was so amazed at your experience. What you have done for your Mother is truly beautiful...and you can see the peace and happiness in your Mom's face as she is knitting.
I have learned so much from KP'ers since I have been on this site. I have learned that our group is made up of some of the most beautiful, kind and generous people in the world. All of you make my heart happy!


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## KroSha (Oct 25, 2013)

tinker44 said:


> I was so amazed at your experience. What you have done for your Mother is truly beautiful...and you can see the peace and happiness in your Mom's face as she is knitting.
> I have learned so much from KP'ers since I have been on this site. I have learned that our group is made up of some of the most beautiful, kind and generous people in the world. All of you make my heart happy!


I second that!


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## mavisb (Apr 18, 2011)

My heart goes out to you and God Bless your mum for being able to knit again. My mum is 90 riddled with arthritis and has bad shoulders and can still knit.


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## Ladyday (Nov 26, 2011)

She is blessed to have you .What a loving daughter she had to be a very loving mother.God bless you and her.


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## GemsByGranny (Dec 7, 2012)

That's lovely. My Mum doesn't knit any more; she just sits with the needles and yarn on her lap and thinks she's knitting. Most of the time she can't remember much. But last time I phoned her I said I was having a cup of tea and she said, 'You used to sit with a whole teapot and drain it, at least twice a day. I wondered how you could'. I don't remember that, but she did. 

It does give you a thrill to see that they have remembered something, doesn't it?


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## youbet46 (Nov 25, 2011)

Thank you for sharing! I have a sister in an Alzheimer's unit, and she has lost interest in everything. She won't even talk to us when we visit. I am tempted to try the knitting thing with her. She knit beautifully through most of her life. It might spark some interest to her.


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## GemsByGranny (Dec 7, 2012)

youbet46 said:


> Thank you for sharing! I have a sister in an Alzheimer's unit, and she has lost interest in everything. She won't even talk to us when we visit. I am tempted to try the knitting thing with her. She knit beautifully through most of her life. It might spark some interest to her.


Yes, it's worth a try. Often things from the distant past are better recalled than things from the recent past.


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## KroSha (Oct 25, 2013)

youbet46 said:


> Thank you for sharing! I have a sister in an Alzheimer's unit, and she has lost interest in everything. She won't even talk to us when we visit. I am tempted to try the knitting thing with her. She knit beautifully through most of her life. It might spark some interest to her.


There is everything good about trying this out - to see if it spurs any interest or memory. Just stay with the patient when you first offer the needles & yarn, observe closely, and be sure to remove them if their presence leads to any frustration. When dementia patients RECOGNIZE that there is something they CAN'T do, it often leads to agitation and emotional outbursts, something you don't want to provoke when you're only trying to help.


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## KroSha (Oct 25, 2013)

GemsByGranny said:


> Yes, it's worth a try. Often things from the distant past are better recalled than things from the recent past.


This is SO true. Short term memory is generally affected early on with dementia patients even when long-term memory persists. It has to do with the area in the brain where these two types of memories are stored and that the area of the brain damaged from the deterioration of dementia is, in most (but not all) cases, the area that stores short term memory.


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## grammylynn (Mar 2, 2013)

KroSha said:


> This is SO true. Short term memory is generally affected early on with dementia patients even when long-term memory persists. It has to do with the area in the brain where these two types of memories are stored and that the area of the brain damaged from the deterioration of dementia is, in most (but not all) cases, the area that stores short term memory.


Yes in the early stages that is usually the first to go but in the end the entire brain is affected. My Mother-in Law is forgetting how to swallow now and holds food in her mouth as she doesn't understand words to tell her what to do with it. She will open her mouth like a bird when she sees food so part of her knows she is hungry but not what to do with it. She is also unable to move her head at times without vomiting as the part of the brain that controls motion etc (Occipital Lobe sp?) is now affected. She can't ride in a car or even be rolled in bed for changing without being sick. Sometimes just turning her head on the pillow will make her sick. Thankfully, now that she is in the fetal position when in bed she is on one side (can't stay on her back now without being held there she is so curved) that she doesn't aspirate in her sleep when she gets sick.

Our Yorkie is her helper. She seems to know when there might be something going to happen. She will stay in MIL room that day/night and when she hears MIL being sick in bed and we don't and she will come and bark for us to follow her to "Grammy" and will sit there to watch us clean her up. Then if over she comes back out with us if not we have learned to keep checking as something else will be happening. Both our dogs seem to know there is something different with Grammy as they will sit under her wheelchair, and follow her room to room when we move her or someone comes to the house they sit on each side of her, but the Yorkie can sense her episodes before they occur. When she is having a stroke the dog wants to be very close to her.


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## MrsB88keys (Jan 15, 2014)

Wow! It's amazing how important animals are in our lives isn't it?


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## GrandmaJudy (Feb 2, 2011)

A friend and I sing several times a year at a local facility which has an Altzheimer's Unit. These sweet people are always waiting for us and even though most of them can't remember basic skills, they know every word of the old, familiar hymns we sing. As with many things, these visits are more of a blessing to us than to the residents.


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## KroSha (Oct 25, 2013)

grammylynn said:


> Yes in the early stages that is usually the first to go but in the end the entire brain is affected. My Mother-in Law is forgetting how to swallow now and holds food in her mouth as she doesn't understand words to tell her what to do with it. She will open her mouth like a bird when she sees food so part of her knows she is hungry but not what to do with it. She is also unable to move her head at times without vomiting as the part of the brain that controls motion etc (Occipital Lobe sp?) is now affected. She can't ride in a car or even be rolled in bed for changing without being sick. Sometimes just turning her head on the pillow will make her sick. Thankfully, now that she is in the fetal position when in bed she is on one side (can't stay on her back now without being held there she is so curved) that she doesn't aspirate in her sleep when she gets sick.
> 
> Our Yorkie is her helper. She seems to know when there might be something going to happen. She will stay in MIL room that day/night and when she hears MIL being sick in bed and we don't and she will come and bark for us to follow her to "Grammy" and will sit there to watch us clean her up. Then if over she comes back out with us if not we have learned to keep checking as something else will be happening. Both our dogs seem to know there is something different with Grammy as they will sit under her wheelchair, and follow her room to room when we move her or someone comes to the house they sit on each side of her, but the Yorkie can sense her episodes before they occur. When she is having a stroke the dog wants to be very close to her.


Yes. If they don't to cross over from some other illness or condition (cancer, stroke, heart attack, pneumonia, etc.), the "forgetting" of the brain is progressive and eventually complete.


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## grammylynn (Mar 2, 2013)

Yes, animals are very important and at times I think this Yorkie is making a connection that nobody else can. We lost one several years ago at 14 yrs and MIL Loved that dog it was the first and only dog she ever bonded with and now of the 2 dogs a Maltese and the Yorkie she only responds to the Yorkie. She will watch her run around and makes sounds to her trying to talk but words are beyond her now. So I think she is thinking it is her Trikki and sometimes is the only thing in this world she responds to.


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## pajemo (Nov 23, 2012)

I too think animals are very important. My mom had a cat that she loved so much. If my mom didn't see the cat she would search all over the house for it. The cat would sleep with her at night and my mom would smile as she would pet her but as the disease has progressed my mom lost interest in her cat and our aide's husband gave her a big stuffed bear. Oh my goodness my mom loves that bear, hugs it all the time and rubs her face on it smiling away. I made sure to bring that bear with her when I moved her to Virginia! One thing I wanted to ask others was if their loved one suffering from dementia ever says any thing self -deprecating or hateful? The one thing that my mom always writes about herself is "I can't stand me anymore. I hate myself big time." She will write this over and over. If she doesn't have a piece of paper she will write it on the table other surface with her finger. She is normally happy and smiling all the time so when she does this it breaks my heart. I do not leave paper around and quickly redirect her when she starts this. She used to say it out loud but now that she doesn't speak very often she writes it.


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## youbet46 (Nov 25, 2011)

She is probably fighting against the disease more than she is about herself. It is her way of expressing herself and her helplessness.


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## gma11331 (Oct 18, 2011)

That is wonderful that she rekindled the memory. I remember we were on a cruise and met a lady and her daughter in the lounge. The older lady made some comments that were a bit odd and her daughter explained that her mother was suffering dementia but she was still able to play bridge!! That always amazed me as the lady obviously had no idea where she was (she thanked us for coming to her house to see her).


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## mavisb (Apr 18, 2011)

What wonderful dogs to look after grammy like they do.


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## MrsBearstalker (Aug 11, 2011)

pajemo said:


> I too think animals are very important. My mom had a cat that she loved so much. If my mom didn't see the cat she would search all over the house for it. The cat would sleep with her at night and my mom would smile as she would pet her but as the disease has progressed my mom lost interest in her cat and our aide's husband gave her a big stuffed bear. Oh my goodness my mom loves that bear, hugs it all the time and rubs her face on it smiling away. I made sure to bring that bear with her when I moved her to Virginia! One thing I wanted to ask others was if their loved one suffering from dementia ever says any thing self -deprecating or hateful? The one thing that my mom always writes about herself is "I can't stand me anymore. I hate myself big time." She will write this over and over. If she doesn't have a piece of paper she will write it on the table other surface with her finger. She is normally happy and smiling all the time so when she does this it breaks my heart. I do not leave paper around and quickly redirect her when she starts this. She used to say it out loud but now that she doesn't speak very often she writes it.


Oh, dementia is SO terrible! My first husband didn't have Alzheimers, but he had dementia caused by Parkinson's Disease. Yes, he did quit liking himself the last year of so of his life. He was so afraid that he had lost his salvation and that he had become an apostate. One of the very last conversations I had with him that made any sense was while he was in the hospital the last week of his life. I asked him if he was ready to go be with our Lord in Heaven and he said yes. I then asked him then why was he so fearful and he said that he was fearful because of what he had become. I told him that it was the disease that had made him different and that I knew that and I still loved him and that the Lord knew that and that He still loved him. Somehow that seemed to make sense to my DH and I think it helped.


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## MrsBearstalker (Aug 11, 2011)

GrandmaJudy said:


> A friend and I sing several times a year at a local facility which has an Altzheimer's Unit. These sweet people are always waiting for us and even though most of them can't remember basic skills, they know every word of the old, familiar hymns we sing. As with many things, these visits are more of a blessing to us than to the residents.


That is so sweet! I'm so thankful for people like your group who take the time to help folks with this awful disease.


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## sherrit (Jul 20, 2014)

greatgran21 said:


> Your letter brought back a memory for me,many years ago (my children were all very young, I am now 81)Mothers day was coming up so I thought my children and I could make a lonely Mother happy for a day.i called the nursing home near our church to see if there was a lady there who never had visitors.what we did after Sunday School on Mothers Day was to make up little parcels (like soaps,hankerchiefs, washer,etc a bunch of flowers etc for her which my four youngest children gave her, it made me cry to see the joy it brought her. This lady was put in the nursing home two years before by her son who lived in another state and had never been back to see her, he told the staff just let me know when she dies and I will come and fix things up.
> I could go on for ever but to cut it short we went every Sunday to visit all the men and women, my children learnt such a lot from the visits.
> These people spent every day sitting in chairs doing nothing,so I started teaching men and women to knit just garter stitch the staff said they could not believe the change in them.twice a week I would call in to fix problems anyway by the end of the year they had knitted enough long strips of all colours to make a rug. The staff sewed it together,it was then raffled to buy Christmas presents for every one, I have never seen so many proud people over the crazy rug they all made,that rug was magic for a lot of very lonely people.


What a beautiful, beautiful story.


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## greythounds (Aug 26, 2011)

What a lovely picture of your mom. She has the look of complete bliss on her face. I'm going to hold that picture in my mind all day today as I go about my work day.


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## Suesknits (Feb 11, 2011)

I'm so glad to read your story. It warms my heart that her lifelong enjoyment came back to her so naturally. And I'm so happy you have her near. 

Thank you for sharing. .


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## carriemae (Aug 28, 2012)

Wonderful


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## Ladyday (Nov 26, 2011)

I must say you're a very loving and caring daughter if only there were more like you ....


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## mavisb (Apr 18, 2011)

My mother is 91 and does not have dementia but does have problems with her shoulders and walking. She gave up knitting for three years and took it back up again and does all charity work. She lives an hour away from me and I see her once a week. She wanted a knitting pattern for which I have all hers as well as my own. She found the one she wanted so I started to knit it and told her that the pattern was wrong so instructed her to do row 5 again and miss out row 7. She has done so and the pattern looks more like the picture. My father 92 is in a nursing home as he has had two major strokes and is now paralysed down his left side. Unfortunately he sleeps more than he is awake. Mum and I spend our Sundays together going for a meal and then a bit of shopping. It is hard on me but I do enjoy my outings with my mum. I know I won't have her forever but I thank my lucky stars that I have this extra time with her.


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