# Knitting at a Wedding reception???



## jberg (Mar 23, 2011)

Hi, KPers. I just need some responses to this. A relative was at a fancy sit down reception at a wedding recently and pulled out her knitting while others at the table were still drinking their coffee and eating wedding cake. Just wondering. I have no words for this. Does anyone on KP? Thanks for your input. jberg


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## Cdambro (Dec 30, 2013)

Not appropriate.


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## Gaildh (Jan 15, 2015)

Not appropriate!


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## bevvyreay (Dec 5, 2012)

I have one RUDE there's a time and a place and that wasn't it. I say the same when people get their phones out at the table


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## Janice Wilkens (Feb 20, 2015)

OH, BOY! Send this knitter to rehab STAT! Was she finishing up a wedding gift for the couple? No excuse seems reasonable to me.



jberg said:


> Hi, KPers. I just need some responses to this. A relative was at a fancy sit down reception at a wedding recently and pulled out her knitting while others at the table were still drinking their coffee and eating wedding cake. Just wondering. I have no words for this. Does anyone on KP? Thanks for your input. jberg


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## CarolZ (Apr 6, 2011)

As others have said, there's a time and place for crafts and this isn't one of them. I consider it very rude!


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## charbaby (Mar 24, 2013)

Definitely NOT acceptable! Good grief! She's giving knitters a bad name. And what a message to the couple. "Thanks for dinner, but I would rather be home in my chair knitting than enjoying your special day."


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## Spindoctor (Sep 6, 2016)

Formal situations-not appropriate. Casual situations-of course appropriate! I was out to dinner with several friends and after dinner while we were still talking we all looked at each other and reached into our bags and pulled out our respective projects! Knitting, crochet, knitting, tatting, spinning, spinning, cross stitch! The waitresses and eventually the owner were enthralled. The owner is European and said "I didn't think anybody in America did things like this any more--I feel like I'm at home. Thank you!" He then offered us free desserts! Guess what is now our favorite restaurant!


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## Pearls Girls (Jan 11, 2015)

I would pray for the person if I thought that they were doing something inappropriately. Then I would mind my own business and make sure by example that I did not do what I did not like. Some people are very fidgety and choose to keep their hands busy. There was an old saying " idle hands are the devils work". I try not to pass judgement on most things. Many times everything is not as it seems.


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## Bambagirl (Mar 14, 2015)

I got told off by my adult children for reading my Kindle at an informal family meal once!

To be honest, there are a lot of occasions where most of us would like to knit etc ... that wouldn't be appropriate even though it's very tempting and apparently wouldn't cause any harm - but at a wedding it's just not on and the Bride & Groom (plus their immediate families) would likely feel slighted, offended.

A family member has dementia and when we visit, he and my husband chat away about old times - I sit there knitting or crocheting and add my verbal agreement here and there whilst they're chatting. No-one objects and I think this is perfectly OK.

A lady who attends our Church crochets or does embroidery throughout the whole service. She attends with her husband who follows the service appropriately, sings the hymns etc ... but she just sits and gets on with her crochet etc - during the hymns, prayers, Bible readings etc ... She has a disability but I personally believe she's indulged because she's an adult who should know what appropriate behaviour is. I'm certain there would be strong objections if other Church attenders did this. She's very noticeable as she sits in the front pew.


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## Lena B (Aug 15, 2015)

A time and place for every thing and I definitely think this was not the place to be knitting 
Very rude didn't any one 
Speak to the person asking her why she was not enjoying the couples day? I would have had to speak up.
What size of bag was she carrying? To be suitable for a wedding


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## CaroleD53 (Aug 7, 2012)

Who even thinks to take knitting to a wedding?


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## jeanne63 (Mar 14, 2014)

Inappropriate!


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## Nana of 6 (Jan 21, 2016)

You don't say if this lady was related to the bride or groom or if she was an escort to one of the guests. It may have been that she knew no one there and felt uncomfortable and bored. I have been in such situations and would have loved to have had something to do. Unusual? Yes. Unacceptable? Not at all.


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## Janice Wilkens (Feb 20, 2015)

When I was growing up, the local doctor's wife took her knitting wherever she went - church, her children's choir performances and other school performances, etc. Even then I thought it was strange that she wouldn't devote her whole concentration to the activity in the room instead of her own pleasure. As far as I know, there was nothing "ill" about her. I thought it was wrong and still do.



Bambagirl said:


> I got told off by my adult children for reading my Kindle at an informal family meal once!
> 
> To be honest, there are a lot of occasions where most of us would like to knit etc ... that wouldn't be appropriate even though it's very tempting and apparently wouldn't cause any harm - but at a wedding it's just not on and the Bride & Groom (plus their immediate families) would likely feel slighted, offended.
> 
> ...


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## dachsmom (Aug 23, 2011)

Seems rude to me


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## Kansas g-ma (Mar 7, 2014)

Please note this took place at the reception-- which is much more informal than the wedding. If there was drinking or dancing and she wasn't going to participate, what was the harm? I'll bet she could still visit up a storm if anyone was available for that. We recently had a wedding-- because the only people I knew were my family and I had already spent time with them and they were not at my table, it got really boring very fast. Three of us left fairly early just because we wouldn't be dancing or drinking and were out of it. Hotel room was lovely, we visited, I knit, they watched TV, etc.

Now, the church one was different-- No, I do not knit in church. But I do most other places. I get fidgety really fast.


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## Lynnknits (Feb 15, 2016)

I agree that it was rude. I do take my knitting everywhere - never know if you will be stuck in traffic, etc. I do now, however, KNIT everywhere.


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## rudy227 (Sep 4, 2016)

I took my knitting to a family picnic but I was knitting scribbies for most of my family that was there. Now I feel badly for doing that. A wedding NO but now I won't take mine even if it's to finish up for people at the event, even a PICNIC


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## Beachgirl1000 (Sep 29, 2015)

Pearls Girls said:


> I would pray for the person if I thought that they were doing something inappropriately. Then I would mind my own business and make sure by example that I did not do what I did not like. Some people are very fidgety and choose to keep their hands busy. There was an old saying " idle hands are the devils work". I try not to pass judgement on most things. Many times everything is not as it seems.


"Pray for them"??!!! That's pretty self righteous of you!

In our society, there are manners, good and bad. Would you like it if "she kept her hands busy" by removing her shoes, propping a foot up on the table, and trimming her toenails? Or lifted one cheek and let out a big stinky fart? Those two things are bad manners. So is taking out one's knitting at someone else's wedding.

As for making judgments, we have to do that every day with people. Would you let a known sex offender babysit your little girls? No? Then you just made a judgment about someone. No one suggested that the knitter would "burn in hell" for it, so keep your mealy-mouth comments to yourself instead of displaying your so-called religious fervor.


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## Pearls Girls (Jan 11, 2015)

rudy227 said:


> I took my knitting to a family picnic but I was knitting scribbies for most of my family that was there. Now I feel badly for doing that. A wedding NO but now I won't take mine even if it's to finish up for people at the event, even a PICNIC


Don't feel intimidated. Just ask if anyone minds you knitting during the conversations. Knitting is not all self pleasure, as someone indicated. Make your scrubbies and pass them around at your family picnic.
As for knitting in church . . . one lady in our church used to knit all the time for charity. She recently died in her 40's. What a waste if she had not made so many people happy. She was a very loving Christian woman who had unfortunate health issues. She knew her Bible well and lived a good example. Do you really feel God is going to ask why she didn't knit in a different space? I doubt it. :sm02:


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## KNITTEN NANA (Apr 2, 2011)

Not that I think the lady was right for knitting at a wedding, but same goes for phones. If you can't carry on a conversation with the people you are sitting with why be there ? Just stay home and text. Phones have take over every part of our lives. I don't allow phones at the dinner table. As soon as dinner is done they all run to their phones, what could they possibly missed in the time it takes to eat dinner.


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## Spindoctor (Sep 6, 2016)

I have a friend (who was the bride!) who knit right up to the time her father walked her down the aisle. It kept her calm--otherwise she would have been so nervous she might have bolted. She did not, however, knit during the reception--of course, several glasses of wine probably helped, lol.....


CaroleD53 said:


> Who even thinks to take knitting to a wedding?


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## desireeross (Jun 2, 2013)

No, not for formal events. My son got married last month and I can just imagine the reception I'd have received if I pulled out my knitting. Definitely a time and a place for everything. I always gauge the company I'm in before taking it along.


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## Pearls Girls (Jan 11, 2015)

"That's pretty self righteous. . ." 
The OP asked what others thought about a particular person knitting at a wedding. . .
I only stated how I would handle it and what I would do. 
I didn't ask you or anyone else to do the same. . . . or to make a personal attack. :sm02: 
I'm still keeping my smile.


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## Spindoctor (Sep 6, 2016)

I always have a project in my bag (knitting/crocheting/tatting/spinning). My friends pretty much all do the same. My family look at me rather oddly if I DON'T pull out a project at an informal family function. Working on a project during a meal is verboten it implies that the cooking is terrible) but before and after, of course!


rudy227 said:


> I took my knitting to a family picnic but I was knitting scribbies for most of my family that was there. Now I feel badly for doing that. A wedding NO but now I won't take mine even if it's to finish up for people at the event, even a PICNIC


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## bakrmom (May 30, 2011)

And yet a while back people were defending knitting in church and while seated for a jury.....just sayin'


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## Bambagirl (Mar 14, 2015)

Nowadays, most GP surgeries and hospital waiting rooms don't provide magazines. I wouldn't think twice about knitting in these situations whilst waiting for my appointment. I would also knit on a long train journey, or whilst baby-sitting, same goes for sewing, crochet and reading. I wouldn't knit whilst waiting my turn to be called in for a job interview. On a train once, a guy who came round checking the tickets was impressed that I was busy knitting during my journey!

I'm going away on holiday next weekend - a week spent abroad. I'll be taking my knitting as Christmas is around the corner and I have a few projects to be getting on with. A relaxing evening or afternoon spent in our hotel suite knitting or sewing will be enjoyable - I'm not a drinker and although I'll be using the pool, the gym and doing a little sightseeing, the holiday's main attraction will be the ambience of a place far from home with a warm climate!

Knitting at a wedding, or in Church, or in a Law Court, during a meeting or conference at work or at most formal or semi-formal social gatherings with friends & family isn't appropriate.

I go to one of those "Knit & Natter" groups - it's run by our Church and we meet every 2 weeks on a Wednesday. These groups are sometimes known as "Stitch and Bitch" - and that's not too far off what we do! My husband chuckles and says we're probably like the women who gathered around the guillotine knitting when someone was sentenced to death in olden times! 

I suppose that knitting in inappropriate circumstances it's a bit like watching someone else's conflict unfold before your eyes and though it's not YOUR problem, you can't drag your eyes away and you're sitting there munching popcorn because it's like being at them movies - entertainment!


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## bundyanne07 (Aug 24, 2014)

I think the lady was very rude to have even thought to take knitting to a wedding. I really think someone should have spoken to her - you said she is a relative. I know I would not be inviting her to any function I was giving.


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## patocenizo (Jun 24, 2011)

Now that takes guts and no manners.


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## msmarie1 (Jun 2, 2013)

jberg I believe that the lady wasn't" Rude"...everyone was finished, eating, except for coffee&cake and that just invites
talking etc
.....maybe she was, alone, at the wedding reception and felt more comfortable keeping busy with her hands....
and didn't have much to say to the others maybe not even knowing them well.
.....I hope she was knitting something small and not an afghan..?
because that would be ..Rude...!!...and.as long as she didn't ignore them in the process...I believe it was fine.....!
thanks for sharing, msmarie1


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## Beachgirl1000 (Sep 29, 2015)

Pearls Girls said:


> "That's pretty self righteous. . ."
> The OP asked what others thought about a particular person knitting at a wedding. . .
> I only stated how I would handle it and what I would do.
> I didn't ask you or anyone else to do the same. . . . or to make a personal attack. :sm02:
> I'm still keeping my smile.


As long as you don't pray for me.


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## jberg (Mar 23, 2011)

just to clarify: the knitter's husband was a cousin of the bride's mother. It was all friends and family and she was seated at the table with close family members, including her husband. Thanks all for your take on this. Didn't mean to start a firestorm! Just wondered what other's opinions were on this. jberg


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## Bambagirl (Mar 14, 2015)

I suppose it's OK if you ask permission. We could carry our knitting around with us but discreetly packed away at the bottom of our bags (out of sight) - then just ask nicely and refrain from being offended if the answer is no!

jberg - it's an interesting topic - thanks for starting it!


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## deshka (Apr 6, 2011)

It's tough for me to say she was wrong. I take my knitting to lots of places, but I would have to leave it home if I were going to a wedding, even if I was trying to finish their wedding gift. (It almost does sound like something I would do, but I wouldn't)


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## jberg (Mar 23, 2011)

and it wasn't a gift for them. jberg


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## nancymt615 (Aug 20, 2016)

I use an electric wheelchair and I am one who has a hard time keeping my hands still when I am just sitting and listening. I discussed this with the bishop at church and he told me to go ahead and crochet or Stitch, as long as I was payning attention to whoever was speaking or to the lesson as well. I use my iPad for my scriptures and I keep it at hand on a chair so I can follow along with the lesson. I try to take something that has a pattern that I do not have to be counting so I am not diverted from listening and even commenting and participating when needed. It helps me to be able to sit still and to pay attention. When it is time to sing I have the hymnal on my iPad so I can sing also. At a wedding event I do not need to be stitching as I am able to speak with people and participate in the conversations!


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## Elin (Sep 17, 2011)

You're kidding, right??? I still can't get over the KP question quite a while ago about knitting in church - they're both no-no's


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## Jenny E (Sep 5, 2011)

I take my knitting everywhere, but I wouldn't take it to a wedding or a similar function. I knit in church, with the blessing of the minster, but I put it down during prayer time and I stand to sing. I find knitting helps me concentrate a lot better and keeps me focused on the service. 
We are all different, with different needs and opinions, but I would not have been impressed by this lady.


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## Jalynne (Dec 29, 2013)

My friend and I knit (or crochet, or do english paper piecing) in church every week. We both have an easier time concentrating when we keep our hands busy, and have made sure others don't mind. In fact, we have been told it is less distracting than fidgeting during service. Our church is fairly informal and perhaps that is part of why it's more acceptable, who knows. I don't know that I'd do it at a wedding reception, but I don't know that I'd think it's rude. I think it's important to understand it on a case by case basis, I suppose.



nancymt615 said:


> I use an electric wheelchair and I am one who has a hard time keeping my hands still when I am just sitting and listening. I discussed this with the bishop at church and he told me to go ahead and crochet or Stitch, as long as I was payning attention to whoever was speaking or to the lesson as well. I use my iPad for my scriptures and I keep it at hand on a chair so I can follow along with the lesson. I try to take something that has a pattern that I do not have to be counting so I am not diverted from listening and even commenting and participating when needed. It helps me to be able to sit still and to pay attention. When it is time to sing I have the hymnal on my iPad so I can sing also. At a wedding event I do not need to be stitching as I am able to speak with people and participate in the conversations!


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## Janice Wilkens (Feb 20, 2015)

I had never heard of English paper piecing before - in fact, when I first read it, I thought it said English paper piercing. I looked it up and watched a video. I don't quilt, but I am getting interested!



Jalynne said:


> My friend and I knit (or crochet, or do english paper piecing) in church every week. We both have an easier time concentrating when we keep our hands busy, and have made sure others don't mind. In fact, we have been told it is less distracting than fidgeting during service. Our church is fairly informal and perhaps that is part of why it's more acceptable, who knows. I don't know that I'd do it at a wedding reception, but I don't know that I'd think it's rude. I think it's important to understand it on a case by case basis, I suppose.


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## WaterFall (Oct 5, 2012)

Why cant they let others enjoy the function if they not knit 10 minutes that day the world is not going to finish or they not going to die not good if they cant sit without knitting they can stay home . As people now print no boxed gifts they have to write no knitting.


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## run4fittness (May 22, 2011)

Nana of 6 said:


> You don't say if this lady was related to the bride or groom or if she was an escort to one of the guests. It may have been that she knew no one there and felt uncomfortable and bored. I have been in such situations and would have loved to have had something to do. Unusual? Yes. Unacceptable? Not at all.


Finally, someone who understands! I have never enjoyed these types of family gatherings. When I was a child I always took a book or two with me. Even sometimes what I was working on. If I had seen some one doing this at a wedding I would have gone over to see what she was doing. Great way to break the ice. Just my opinion. Nothing personal.


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## Shautzie (Jun 9, 2013)

Wrong place to appear bored.


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## PaKnitter (Mar 7, 2011)

Shautzie said:


> Wrong place to appear bored.


I agree and would be certain to not invite her to any more family functions and celebrations so she may stay home and knit. If she only came to be polite it backfired with her actions.


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## Nana of 6 (Jan 21, 2016)

The next time you are invited to a wedding, think about this topic while you are at the reception. Then canvas the ladies and see how many knitters there are in the crowd and how many have a project with them. You might be surprised. Maybe our lady has a weight problem and was using her knitting as a method of keeping her hands busy so she wouldn't be snacking at the dessert tray. Cut the poor woman some slack.


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## luree (Feb 21, 2014)

How sad to think she could do this! Not a kind and loving thing to do.


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## Jalynne (Dec 29, 2013)

I'm ok not being invited in that case. The people with whom I am friends understand and accept me for who I am, and know that I am not acting rudely. I think it's every bit as much as rude to make judgments without knowing a person's story. 

I often prescribe knitting or other creative tasks to my therapy clients to do in times when they feel overwhelming anxiety, as research shows that repetitive textural activities help lower heart rate and create a buffer that help reduce levels of anxiety. Many of those situations are social, where there are lots of people around. Sometimes it isn't a matter of being rude, but of being able to survive in an otherwise unbearable situation.


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## Cheryl_K (May 23, 2011)

I'll admit it's a little unusual, but as others have said, she could have problems with anxiety, etc. I've probably made my husband's family mad because I've knitted when we were visiting his relatives. My side of the family would probably make fun of me for knitting around them, which is why we only visit them when absolutely necessary, like when they invite us to weddings. :sm09: :sm09:


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## DragonWhoKnits (Sep 20, 2011)

run4fittness said:


> Finally, someone who understands! I have never enjoyed these types of family gatherings. When I was a child I always took a book or two with me. Even sometimes what I was working on. If I had seen some one doing this at a wedding I would have gone over to see what she was doing. Great way to break the ice. Just my opinion. Nothing personal.


 :sm02: :sm16: :sm01: :sm01:


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## gr8 (Jul 4, 2013)

It's a kinda' sad commentary. She could be enjoying the company of others there but chooses to stay wrapped up in herself. Good grief, you're not there very long - a few hours. There may indeed be drinking going on at a wedding but not everyone drinks; she could have made an effort to engage another person in a friendly visit or convey a kind hello - to maybe someone shy or unable to get around - or someone she hasn't seen since the last family wedding. 
I do not understand knitting at church, either. when I knit anything I am thinking about my craft and there is no way I can pay attention to a sermon, television, conversation etc.


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## gypsysoul (Jun 14, 2015)

She should have stayed home.


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## Jalynne (Dec 29, 2013)

If she was one of my clients, I would have said, "Bravo to you for venturing out and doing something scary for you while using one of your coping skills." All in perspective.


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## KitKat789 (May 17, 2016)

I agree that knitting at a wedding reception is very rude.


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## klrober (Mar 20, 2013)

gypsysoul said:


> She should have stayed home.


Totally agree!!


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## m_azingrace (Mar 14, 2012)

Many people feel awkward or ill at ease in some social settings. She may have been outside her comfort zone, and the Knitting was her security blanket.


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## m_azingrace (Mar 14, 2012)

gypsysoul said:


> She should have stayed home.


That's not always an option. I've been"required" to attend functions that I wish I didn't have to, and would love to have had my knitting. It sure beats staring at your hands all evening, pretending to enjoy yourself.


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## bettyirene (Apr 5, 2012)

She had NO consideration for the other people at the table...VERY rude.


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## flohel (Jan 24, 2011)

Downright rude


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## kusumbudhwar (Feb 26, 2011)

Most inappropriate unless she suffers from CKD (Compulsive Knitting Disorder)


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## sdresner (May 31, 2014)

A bit uncalled for


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## louisezervas (Jun 28, 2011)

Very inappropriate!


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## marysudie (Sep 10, 2016)

I had a professor in a masters program in college. She said she had a lady who brought her knitting/crocheting to class. She never took a note. She just sat in class and did her needlework. The professor was a teacher of gifted education. She just waited for the first exam. The lady scored the highest of all the students on the exam. The professor chatted with the lady. The lady knew that she was an auditory learner. If she tried to take notes, it detracted from her learning. She had to listen to learn. So to keep her hands busy and her mind from wandering while she was listening in class, she did needlework. The professor thought that might be the case - it may also be a sign of giftedness when a student knows his/her learning style through self-discovery. It drove me crazy in her class because I rarely had a note in my notebook. Our discussions were freeform and not over the material in the book. Thankfully we did not have tests in that class, just papers. The professor would not have been upset if someone had brought something to class to do as long as it did not interfere with the discussion. I think someone else knitting in class would have distracted me. I would need to position myself so that I did not see it. I'd want to see the progress that was being made. That's my problem, not the person doing needlework.


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## grandmatimestwo (Mar 30, 2011)

No, I don't think a wedding is an appropriate place for knitting.


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## shenklaw (Jan 13, 2012)

Very rude,I knit almost every time I sit down for a bit,but, not at wedding reception!!!!


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## JTM (Nov 18, 2012)

jberg said:


> Hi, KPers. I just need some responses to this. A relative was at a fancy sit down reception at a wedding recently and pulled out her knitting while others at the table were still drinking their coffee and eating wedding cake. Just wondering. I have no words for this. Does anyone on KP? Thanks for your input. jberg


First, I would be shocked...then a little jealous, wishing mine were in my hands too. There are a few places I would never knit... a wedding and/or reception is just one of them, church is another ... can't think of others at the moment, but am sure there is at least one other.


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## gmastamp (Jul 4, 2016)

Not good


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## motormom (Nov 16, 2013)

I'm probably going to be the odd woman out here, but here goes. Knitting at the actual ceremony - definitely not appropriate. Knitting while sitting at a table chatting with other folks at the reception - probably ok, as long as the knitter can still participate in whatever conversation was going on.


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## grammyx10 (Aug 4, 2016)

Very rude and unacceptable.


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## Melgold (Mar 31, 2016)

Would I do it, no. But I see nothing wrong with it at a reception, during coffee. She was with family, this was during coffee at the end of the meal. Maybe she wasn't a dancer, and this gave her a way to enjoy being there, celebrating with the couple.
As for church, maybe one should find out what the priest, or whoever is leading the service feels about it. People listen to tv while knitting, who is to say the knitter isn't following everything that is said. My guess is that with church attendance down in most places, the religious leader is happy the person comes and whorships in their own way.


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## Munchn (Mar 3, 2013)

~~~very very rude and shows no class or maturity. Well it's just not appropriate for goodness sakes. What is that person thinking??? :sm25:


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## mammadf (Sep 15, 2016)

Neat!


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## gmomgil (Feb 11, 2015)

Very inappropriate


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## momcat531 (Oct 27, 2011)

So wrong!


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## flitri (Jun 13, 2011)

Definitely not the right place to be knitting.


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## pburge 08 farnham (Aug 30, 2016)

Very rude


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## xstitcher55 (Feb 25, 2015)

Just another opinion. I have a sleep disorder and can fall asleep anytime I am sitting and not active. Like at church,watching tv, a movie, in a meeting and especially after a meal. I find if I keep my hands busy it is easier not to doze off. So I bring my knitting/crochet everywhere. I have a small bag that I keep a small project in like fingerless mitts for when I can't bring my tote bag. I do remain engaged- at church standing, singing etc. But I could see myself doing this while still visiting and paying attention to what is going on.


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## sbeth53 (Mar 29, 2011)

Wow this is just unbelievably rude :sm03:


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## carriemae (Aug 28, 2012)

How was this person? If she's very elderly I'd give her a pass otherwise not the time or place


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## Lorry4315 (Sep 21, 2015)

Hi, I guess I would be considered rude also because I crochet during performances at the local theatre groups I go to. I make sure I'm not in the front row where the actors could be distracted by my crocheting but, it keeps me from falling asleep during the show! I really don't even think the actors could see me because of the lighting on the stage. The only time I had a problem was when I dropped the aluminum crochet hook and it fell down the stairs, clink, clink, clink....now i use a bone hook so that doesn't make any noise if it should fall....My neighbor who I go to the shows with, now tells me not to forget my crocheting so I don't fall asleep....But, getting back to the subject it seems that is she was knitting she wasn't dancing and it was at the end of the reception....she was still observing the festivities. I don't see anything wrong with it better than being a falling down drunk which does happen at some weddings. I'm glad she was comfortable enough to knit. Lorraine


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## inishowen (May 28, 2011)

That was just rude. As a child growing up with religious parents, we weren't allowed to do any needlework on a Sunday. Don't ask me why, I've no idea.


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## granmarie5 (Jul 2, 2012)

Knit where you want and when you want if you feel comfortable doing so. It is soothing. In some social gatherings one needs to chill!


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## knitbreak (Jul 19, 2011)

m_azingrace said:


> That's not always an option. I've been"required" to attend functions that I wish I didn't have to, and would love to have had my knitting. It sure beats staring at your hands all evening, pretending to enjoy yourself.


I agree! If your seated with family I can't see that they would be offended.(Maybe she is a reformed smoker,and we know that smokers have to do something with their handsLook around and you'll find many traditions
are "out the window".I thought wearing jeans to weddings was very rude,but not today.


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## susanmjackson (Feb 7, 2011)

Very rude. I take my knitting every where too, but know that there are time that you just don't take it out. What she was showing everyone was that she was bored with the activities of the wedding and the conversations around her.


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## Carolmwl (Sep 21, 2011)

It depends upon what kind of knitting it was. If it were the type that she needed the pattern out, etc, and needed to be referring to the pattern - then, no, that wouldn't be right. BUT if it were just mindless knitting- like knitting the body of a sweater in the round, or the foot of a sock, then why not? If one can talk while knitting and be sociable, I wouldn't be offended by it.
Carol


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## jobailey (Dec 22, 2011)

More than rude!


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## beaulynd (Apr 18, 2015)

I think that what she did was fine. It was during the reception, after dinner, during coffee when people relax. She mostly probably could follow and participate in the discussion. It is not hard to do. The family connection is a bit extended, being the wife of the cousin of the bride's mother. The last wedding that I went to had a similar tenuous family connection. I knew the people at the table, all three of them. After dinner two of us left and went for a walk. The music was loud, we did not dance and the others were all with family in groups. Wish that I had some knitting at that point.


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## TERIGODMOTHER (Sep 30, 2014)

Pearls Girls said:


> "That's pretty self righteous. . ."
> The OP asked what others thought about a particular person knitting at a wedding. . .
> I only stated how I would handle it and what I would do.
> I didn't ask you or anyone else to do the same. . . . or to make a personal attack. :sm02:
> I'm still keeping my smile.


Good for you. I had decided not to join this conversation but your response to the attack made me think otherwise. I probably wouldn't have knit there but it may have been a coping mechanism for her. I wish I had the courage to pull out mindless knitting in church. Keeping my hands busy lets me concentrate and not think about the pain I'm in from sitting in an uncomfortable pew for too long.


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## malfrench (Apr 7, 2011)

RUDE!


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## SANDY I (Oct 18, 2014)

Maybe it was her way of avoiding yummy wedding cake.


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## NC KnitterBeat (Oct 17, 2016)

I knit everywhere! Including church, funerals, weddings, you name it! Preachers tremble when they see me with my knitting because they know I'm paying close attention and will notice any mistakes ("most well known" instead of "best known," referring to Sunday as the "Christian Sabbath," and mispronouncing "oblation" being the most egregious errors I hear).


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## becsnanny (Sep 2, 2016)

I have restless leg syndrome. If I do not keep my hands busy, it kicks in. The last time I went to church without my knitting, one of the deacons came over and asked me if I was having a seizure and did I need an ambulance! Now I never go without a simple piece of knitting, usually a garter stitch washcloth, that I can knit, keeping my hands busy, allowing me to keep my mind on the sermon, and keeping my legs still. If anybody says anything, I just tell them the truth.


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## gram98 (Jul 8, 2013)

Not at all appropriate..rude


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## JlsH (Dec 21, 2012)

I'm just glad I didn't pay what it cost to have someone attend a wedding these days! In my book if you plan to knit stay home and pay for your own food and drink! I am guessing that is where she wanted to be but her husband made her attend!


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## moonieboy (Apr 11, 2012)

I do take my knitting where ever I go. But, in certain places I would never bring my knitting bag in. I would leave it in the car. If she really did not want to be there. Then why go?
Moonieboy


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## Grandma11 (Jan 21, 2012)

Very rude


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## cathy73 (Apr 8, 2013)

I wouldn't have knit there but I find I can concentrate better on other things when my hands are knitting. I knit when watching TV all the time. I see nothing wrong knitting while eating in a restaraunt when alone, but wouldn't do it when I'm with others, ignoring them. I would love to knit in church because it would help me concentrate on the sermon. My pastor even told me it was fine to knit there, but I don't because there are others there that woundn't even try to understand, so I just sit and try not to fidgit instead while trying to concentrate.


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## sknick1 (Aug 1, 2016)

I have been known to knit or do cross stitch in church. I find that I can concentrate on the message better when my hands have something to do. If they don't, my mind just seems to wander terribly. Spoke to the wife of a former pastor about this once. She said her former pastor's wife used to knit during church, while her own husband was preaching!


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## gigi 722 (Oct 25, 2011)

Not acceptable


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## justanoldgirl (Feb 18, 2015)

jberg said:


> just to clarify: the knitter's husband was a cousin of the bride's mother. It was all friends and family and she was seated at the table with close family members, including her husband. Thanks all for your take on this. Didn't mean to start a firestorm! Just wondered what other's opinions were on this. jberg


Seeing that she was a member of the family circle and not just a friend, I feel that this was extremely rude. I wonder what her husband thought? 
As for knitting in Church, there is a time and place for everything and I don't believe that Church is one of them. No excuses. We have some brilliant crafts women in our Church and I have never seen anyone knitting during the service. 
Even at our CWA meetings we were asked not to knit or do handcrafts but to concentrate.


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## valj46 (Jul 25, 2011)

pretty bad showing how bored she was . if i was the bride i would have been very affended


jberg said:


> Hi, KPers. I just need some responses to this. A relative was at a fancy sit down reception at a wedding recently and pulled out her knitting while others at the table were still drinking their coffee and eating wedding cake. Just wondering. I have no words for this. Does anyone on KP? Thanks for your input. jberg


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## hersh (Nov 7, 2011)

Jalynne said:


> I'm ok not being invited in that case. The people with whom I am friends understand and accept me for who I am, and know that I am not acting rudely. I think it's every bit as much as rude to make judgments without knowing a person's story.
> 
> I often prescribe knitting or other creative tasks to my therapy clients to do in times when they feel overwhelming anxiety, as research shows that repetitive textural activities help lower heart rate and create a buffer that help reduce levels of anxiety. Many of those situations are social, where there are lots of people around. Sometimes it isn't a matter of being rude, but of being able to survive in an otherwise unbearable situation.


You are Soo rite. While you are eyeballing the crowd for knitters, please take a look a all the blank faces where people have allowed their minds to wander off. Many attend these functions to be with a spouse or family member who otherwise would not attend. Listening to people around you that you have only just met natter about nothing & fueled with booze. Smart lady, wish I had been smart enough to bring my knitting many a time.
Just my opinion


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## eneira12 (Dec 18, 2013)

Well, if she, like I, suffers from ADHD and is more attentive and calm when knitting, maybe this is medicinal for her. I guess it depends to some extent on whether or not her table mates are including her in the conversation. If not, another alternative is to express best wishes to the bride and groom and leave.


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## Aisles (Feb 26, 2013)

I've done a wee bit of crochet in a church meeting before now. It was the annal meeting concerning the finances of the church and where we would be donating to for the next 12months. I did have an a paid order to finish and had I not taken the crochet I'd not have been able to attend the meeting. The Paster was fine with that as he knew I could do both things at once and I was then avialable to give my own little report. He was used to the fact I could be doing one thing with my hands while holding a conversation about something entirely different.

As for a wedding well that's really up to the Bride and Groom. It might make me do a double take but then shrug my shoulder's and consider it none of my business.


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## laurataylor08 (Dec 15, 2014)

While I agree it may be inappropriate...I crochet because I have OCD...it keeps me from repeating bad behaviors over and over...


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## Penlady Barb (Jun 6, 2016)

Definitely, not appropriate! But saying that, I was at a wedding this weekend that had the room so cold that i wish I had brought an Afghan instead of my shawl.


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## peacefulknitter (Mar 30, 2013)

charbaby said:


> Definitely NOT acceptable! Good grief! She's giving knitters a bad name. And what a message to the couple. "Thanks for dinner, but I would rather be home in my chair knitting than enjoying your special day."


Well said! :sm24:


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## 5Pat (Aug 29, 2011)

I knitted a baby hat at my nephew 2 1/2 late outdoor wedding. I also knits at boring meetings. I would not knit at a sit down reception unless it was late starting.


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## Metrogal (Mar 15, 2011)

I think it was very rude. And yes, people have their phones at weddings, as I do, but I am also taking pictures with my phone. To sit there and knit in church, at a restaurant, at a wedding reception? In the words of Madea, hell to the no!


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## sandyridge (Nov 15, 2014)

I do not think it was appropriate but I would never say anything to the person doing it. It would come under the category of none of my business in my opinion.


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## Aisles (Feb 26, 2013)

I was also going to add when I was married I wanted my guests to enjoy and feel at ease while celebrating our wedding day so if some had felt more at ease knitting or crocheting while enjoying their time then that was fine by us. What I didn't want was anyone feeling uncomfortable and ending up just waiting to leave I'd have been very upset for them.

In fact I do remember one of our guests bought his little portable artist set with him and he painted and did little charcoal drawings of the guests, venue etc while he chatted to guests he didn't know. He even stayed to the very end and was one of the people sweeping up the venue floor. He told us he'd had the most wonderful time and thanked us so much for inviting him to our special day. He said he'd never enjoyed himself so much as he did being invited to a special couple special day and to have met so many lovely people. 

He was a very shy young guy who lived a few doors down from my mother and he was had been disowned by his family as he had become a Christian.


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## Lain (Oct 17, 2016)

Hello,

I dont normally post to these types of things... but...

I honestly cant say that it was wrong, to an outside eye, yes... but there may have been more there..
I myself have terrible social anxiety, a wedding reception is no place for me teally, if I am not doing something at a great gathering I will just make myself sick. Unless I have something other than the people to keep my mind occupied... I will seem more rude by leaving, staring a hole into the table and wishing for time to speed up, or leaving entirely. Like I said, a wedding reception is no place for me, nor any other... gethering? Unless I have something or someone occupying my mind. (And no one in my family are the type to help, they just watch and act like I am a "B"). One can also not always just not go to a gathering like that if they are a close realitive.

So it is not always as simple as it seems.


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## Dorabell (May 26, 2011)

I would consider this a very rude thing to do. Seems a bit of an insult to the wedding party.


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## granmarie5 (Jul 2, 2012)

How many cell phones were visible. Now that is what I call rude!


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## mousepotato (May 30, 2011)

Sorry, kiddos, I often knit at wedding receptions. I have a very hard time hearing the conversations in such times, too much noise, and we don't dance, and we don't drink, and, very often these days, we know only the bride or groom or their parents. I have found that a small project (usually I knit socks) that fits into my purse, saves me from total boredom. I have no problem joining into conversations with people I know, provided that the music isn't so loud as to be deafening. While you may disapprove, it makes a great deal of sense to me rather than simply sitting there, bored to tears, especially if I don't really know anyone.


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## susandkline (Oct 26, 2015)

Nana of 6 said:


> You don't say if this lady was related to the bride or groom or if she was an escort to one of the guests. It may have been that she knew no one there and felt uncomfortable and bored. I have been in such situations and would have loved to have had something to do. Unusual? Yes. Unacceptable? Not at all.


I agree. Live and let live. I wonder if no one was engaging her in conversation and she was tired of trying to look pleasant while being ignored.


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## Irene1 (Oct 23, 2013)

mousepotato said:


> Sorry, kiddos, I often knit at wedding receptions. I have a very hard time hearing the conversations in such times, too much noise, and we don't dance, and we don't drink, and, very often these days, we know only the bride or groom or their parents. I have found that a small project (usually I knit socks) that fits into my purse, saves me from total boredom. I have no problem joining into conversations with people I know, provided that the music isn't so loud as to be deafening. While you may disapprove, it makes a great deal of sense to me rather than simply sitting there, bored to tears, especially if I don't really know anyone.


Yes! My first thought was that it was rude, but after the actual wedding, introductions, meal, coffee, etc., most wedding I have attended are reduced to a loud dance party for the younger set. We don't dance and I don't drink, and conversation is impossible even if there is anyone willing to speak with. The choices at that point are to leave early, be bored out of your mind, or KNIT! Or maybe trying to sleep would be better?


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## 1grammyshouse (May 16, 2014)

I think it was rude, and very inappropriate. There is a time, and place, for everything, and this definitely wasn't it.


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## sgreene (Feb 7, 2015)

If she was so bored, she should have left the wedding reception and resumed her knitting project at home.


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## knitknack (Oct 30, 2011)

Totally inexcusable and rude. Someone should have stepped up and said something. There is a time and place fir everything and that certainly was not the place for any craft.


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## sheilaeite (Sep 4, 2011)

Totally inappropriate.


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## MousePotatoKnits (Oct 23, 2013)

How about taking your knitting to church? Now that's inappropriate! I know someone who does.


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## duurvoort (Jul 21, 2014)

When I read this, I thought of the elderly aunt on Christmas Vacation (movie with Chevy Chase) No this was a huge lack of respect . I am sorry, but even in church, it is wrong. If you want to listen to The Word, a Sermon BUT knitting is more important...watch the service on TV. As far as the wedding...this is why we chose pets in our family.


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## Myla Vayner (Aug 18, 2015)

i see myself doing it ( and my friends and family do get offended too but knitting is almost like a second nature to me - almost like folks drawing or painting every second they have a chance - i just can't help it.. - to me knitting is an art and the way you self-express yourself.... not just producing a garment or a fancy handmade accessory - it's the way of life).

i don't think it's rude at all... i could knit and talk and watch tv at same time -i call this multitasking and enjoying life I am guilty on bringing my books and knitting to even bars - scared a lot of guys away.. but one right one stayed and now have 2 amazing girls and 7 yrs of marriage

but i see how folks would find this rude - thinking that the person who is knitting in front of them is not enjoying the company and not paying attention - while that could not be necessary true...

what about folks are the parties who just don't talk and don't socialize at all? no one excorting them out of the room right?


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## Rowesmary (May 2, 2013)

NOT!


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## Ellie RD (Aug 20, 2011)

Would I do it - No! But with everything else going on in the world this isn't even worth thinking about!


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## MashaBistitchual (Aug 3, 2016)

I wouldn't find it appropriate, a church or lectures would also be inappropriate places for knitting. Maybe in the old days ladies could knit everywhere because clothes were a necessity for clothing or income, but nowadays it is exclusively a hobby and seen as such too.


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## BarbaraL (Aug 23, 2011)

Honesty would dictate just stay home, don't go to something you obviously don't want to be at and offend others, and just knit happily at home. Doing things dutifully come across as stale, even without knitting. Why do we try to do the "right" thing instead of the honest, decent thing. Stay home and enjoy.


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## Temple (Jun 18, 2012)

Not appropriate!


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## m_azingrace (Mar 14, 2012)

I wonder if she might be lurking here? Reading the comments and .... wait for it.... KNITTING!!


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## Medieval Reenactor (Sep 3, 2013)

Pearls Girls said:


> Don't feel intimidated. Just ask if anyone minds you knitting during the conversations. Knitting is not all self pleasure, as someone indicated. Make your scrubbies and pass them around at your family picnic....


This sounds like a good solution. Most people can knit and attend to conversations at the same time - note the popularity of knitting groups. Many. many people knit during Quaker business meetings, but not during meeting for worship. But I would knit in nearly every situations where people are sitting and chatting.


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## Pat lamb (Oct 31, 2011)

Very rude! A time and a place for every thing????????


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## Aunty M (Jul 7, 2014)

This may not be the case with the lady in the OP's post, but I wouldn't rush to judgement if I saw someone knitting at the end of a wedding reception, because it's not possible to know her reasons for doing so. If, for instance, she was an alcoholic, she may need to knit to avoid the temptation to drink.
I wouldn't do it, but I don't think it's any different to people playing with their phones.


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## Davena (Feb 24, 2013)

I believe in LIVE AND LET LIVE. We do not know the whole story or situation. She may have had the bride and grooms blessings to do her knitting, as she may be the type who had to always have something to do. I will not judge her. I woulds not knit at a wedding or at church but would not think badly if one does. Life is just way to short to worry about such trivia things. jmo.


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## anniebonannie (Dec 17, 2013)

Perhaps she was bored; formal things often are to the non-main eventers...


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## Lizmossstitch (Oct 1, 2015)

When I see someone do this in an unusual setting or any other place ,I wonder as I always do what can I learn from this person . On Saturday I went to a Conference ,it was wonderful ,I brought my knitting and listened while I knitted . There was a woman there to show people how to knit ,she had brought a lot of yarn and needles and gave each person a supply to get them started . I asked the woman if she could teach me brioche knitting ,I have a goal to learn that .
The Conference was about all kinds of GREEN ideas ,gardening ,psychology,literature on and on it went .


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## Paet (Dec 25, 2014)

The only excuse for this, and not that good of one, is that she finds being among a large group of peoplec7ncomfortable. Many people do this as a coping mechanism. I know that I, at one time, carried something that I could "hide behind" when I went to social gatherings. No need now though, thank God. But....this was not the time or place. You don't do crafts in church, at a funeral or wake or a wedding. By doing this, at the wedding, you take away from the bride and groom and their special day.


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## hersh (Nov 7, 2011)

run4fittness said:


> Finally, someone who understands! I have never enjoyed these types of family gatherings. When I was a child I always took a book or two with me. Even sometimes what I was working on. If I had seen some one doing this at a wedding I would have gone over to see what she was doing. Great way to break the ice. Just my opinion. Nothing personal.


good for you!


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## riversong200 (Apr 20, 2014)

While I knit many places a wedding reception isn't appropriate.


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## lenexa36 (Dec 9, 2013)

Rude


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## hersh (Nov 7, 2011)

I agree


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## mamanacy (Dec 16, 2013)

Very very rude.


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## hersh (Nov 7, 2011)

m_azingrace said:


> That's not always an option. I've been"required" to attend functions that I wish I didn't have to, and would love to have had my knitting. It sure beats staring at your hands all evening, pretending to enjoy yourself.


You said it girl!


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## kerrie35094 (Jul 2, 2011)

Spindoctor said:


> Formal situations-not appropriate. Casual situations-of course appropriate! I was out to dinner with several friends and after dinner while we were still talking we all looked at each other and reached into our bags and pulled out our respective projects! Knitting, crochet, knitting, tatting, spinning, spinning, cross stitch! The waitresses and eventually the owner were enthralled. The owner is European and said "I didn't think anybody in America did things like this any more--I feel like I'm at home. Thank you!" He then offered us free desserts! Guess what is now our favorite restaurant!


Enough said.


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## redcable (Jun 2, 2015)

I sometimes take my knitting when i go out to eat with my husband. it helps to have something to do while waiting for food.I had never thought about it being uncourtious


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## kerrie35094 (Jul 2, 2011)

Pearls Girls said:


> I would pray for the person if I thought that they were doing something inappropriately. Then I would mind my own business and make sure by example that I did not do what I did not like. Some people are very fidgety and choose to keep their hands busy. There was an old saying " idle hands are the devils work". I try not to pass judgement on most things. Many times everything is not as it seems.


To me, and it's a personal opinion as is every response here, this makes the most sense. Humility always seems appropriate.


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## just4brown (Jul 21, 2014)

If she was so bored and/or felt uncomfortable then she should have left, or taken out her phone and played on that. I think it was totally inappropriate for a guest to do that and would have been insulted if I were the bride.


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## MissTreta (Jul 14, 2016)

I may be the one referred to in the original question! I am an angst-ridden person, and if I don't have something to do with my hands, I twitch and shake, visibly! Rather than miss a loved one's wedding, I prefer to have something to do with my hands - no, not knotting and unknotting a handkerchief, but something which might be useful to someone! At a wedding once, I accepted the tulle which was no longer needed by the wedding party, and I made dish scrubbier for the party. Each one accepted one with grace; no-one mentioned that he/she thought my behavior was inappropriate; I would have had to leave the celebration if my hands weren't doing something useful! I shall ask the bride/groom if they were disrespected by the activity....


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## Weasynana (May 8, 2014)

Weird!


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## Frosch (Feb 5, 2014)

No excuse for such behavior.


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## Lolliesue (Feb 4, 2013)

Some people have difficulty sitting still. I do not see anything offensive by knitting at the table if others are having coffee. We all know that you can be attentive while knitting or crocheting.


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## 3butterflies (May 28, 2013)

I would have politely asked her what she was knitting to strike up a conversation and find out why she was knitting at that particular time. Maybe she had a genuine reason for doing it. We never really know what is going on within someone. How rude of us to pass judgement on her and by discussing this behind her back. 
There other things in life to worry about.


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## The Reader (May 29, 2014)

Not acceptable. Wrong place, wrong time.


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## knittingdragon (Jun 15, 2012)

I knit anywhere and everywhere but I draw the line at a wedding reception.


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## LunaDragon (Sep 8, 2012)

I don't know. I get board really easy. I can not even go to the movies and not do some thing with my hands, or fall asleep in the movie. The last wedding I attended to I kept myself busy cleaning in the kitchen, helping out the hostess with the choir of cleaning up so she could be out on the floor with her family. I always have something to do. I do not go to movies often. Really just not my cup of tea. I can not say I ever knitted, crochet or any other needle craft at a wedding.


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## tmvasquez (May 7, 2013)

Definately not appropriate. I know a lady who knits in church. There are places one should not knit!


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## Granny2005 (Feb 20, 2014)

I take my knitting every where I go. The only place I dont knit is when I have to activly be part of whatsgoing on. Like bible study & I know I'dget more out of the sermom if I was able to knit while I listen. I can do more than one thing at a time. I have taken my knitting to weddings & receptions. No one minds, I dont ignore peopl or whats happening. Who are you to judge?


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## Cocoa (Jul 23, 2012)

Not the place to be knitting.


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## lizziebe (Aug 17, 2012)

Get over yourself! Could you just ignore the person and enjoy the people you were interacting with? I've noticed that "manners" seem to be greatly a thing of the past overall so just do what YOU think is right in any situation. The Knitter obviously didn't think what SHE was doing wasnt correct.
So, what can you share with me about knitting?


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## Shania (Dec 19, 2011)

Wrong, rude.unthinkable.


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## Aunty M (Jul 7, 2014)

MissTreta said:


> I may be the one referred to in the original question! I am an angst-ridden person, and if I don't have something to do with my hands, I twitch and shake, visibly! Rather than miss a loved one's wedding, I prefer to have something to do with my hands - no, not knotting and unknotting a handkerchief, but something which might be useful to someone! At a wedding once, I accepted the tulle which was no longer needed by the wedding party, and I made dish scrubbier for the party. Each one accepted one with grace; no-one mentioned that he/she thought my behavior was inappropriate; I would have had to leave the celebration if my hands weren't doing something useful! I shall ask the bride/groom if they were disrespected by the activity....


Please don't worry about the fact that you were knitting at the end of the reception. It's absolutely no different to people playing on their phones. As you stated, you have a need to do something to avoid anxiety in certain situations. Do what you need to do to feel comfortable in those settings. Big hugs.


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## jaml (Feb 4, 2011)

I have a friend who I saw knitting in church and asked her why. She said she had some eye condition and that people walking back and forth really bothered the condition. When she was knitting she was keeping her eyes focused on the knitting and it didn't bother so much. Cell phones I have no use for at a reception or church, etc.


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## Bellringer (Feb 27, 2014)

Tack!!


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## 3butterflies (May 28, 2013)

MissTreta said:


> I may be the one referred to in the original question! I am an angst-ridden person, and if I don't have something to do with my hands, I twitch and shake, visibly! Rather than miss a loved one's wedding, I prefer to have something to do with my hands - no, not knotting and unknotting a handkerchief, but something which might be useful to someone! At a wedding once, I accepted the tulle which was no longer needed by the wedding party, and I made dish scrubbier for the party. Each one accepted one with grace; no-one mentioned that he/she thought my behavior was inappropriate; I would have had to leave the celebration if my hands weren't doing something useful! I shall ask the bride/groom if they were disrespected by the activity....


SO PROUD OF YOU!!!!!


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## Bellringer (Feb 27, 2014)

Oops, tacky!!


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## Penlady Barb (Jun 6, 2016)

sgreene said:


> If she was so bored, she should have left the wedding reception and resumed her knitting project at home.


Or in another room. Most catering halls have sitting areas for those who need time away from the reception( for what ever reason).


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## Clay Lady (Jan 16, 2012)

EVERYONE! STOP BEING SO JUDGMENTAL! (Yes, I am screaming at you!)

I had to stop scanning these self righteous replies halfway through the forum.

Was this lady disturbing anyone?
Was she drunk and knocking into others?
Was she intruding into others' conversations?
Was she gossiping and telling tales about others?

It does not sound like it.

Some knitters/crocheters can do their craft while fully engaging in the surrounding conversation, or lecture, or musical show.

I does sound as if she quietly knitted while enjoying the event.
So many Americans are unable to do a craft and thus find in inappropriate when others do.

Judge not, lest you be judged.


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## coyote12899 (Feb 9, 2014)

I find that knitting helps with my " social anxiety". If I thought I'd be uncomfortable in a a situation I would definitely take my knitting. It calms me.


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## Paet (Dec 25, 2014)

Miss Treta,
I completely understand , your situation. Some people function better when alone. Being in a large group can be terrifying. It took a lot of courage to go to the wedding. It's sad when people do not understand. I hope, one day, you will be able to be calmly in a crowd. Until then, do what you must.


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## pinkeyelash (Aug 13, 2015)

Well said clay lady!!!


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## KnittyGritty800 (Apr 1, 2014)

Nana of 6 said:


> You don't say if this lady was related to the bride or groom or if she was an escort to one of the guests. It may have been that she knew no one there and felt uncomfortable and bored. I have been in such situations and would have loved to have had something to do. Unusual? Yes. Unacceptable? Not at all.


 :sm24: :sm24:


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## kippyfure (Apr 9, 2011)

I will knit almost anytime, anywhere--but for me, this would not have been the time or place.


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## becsnanny (Sep 2, 2016)

I understand your situation too. I have worked in caregiver positions one on one for so long that large groups of people have become very stressful to be around. I have begun acclimating myself by knitting in a small group at my local yarn shop and hope to progress to larger groups and meetings as time goes by. Hopefully, one day I can sit quietly in a large crowd without the anxiety I currently feel.


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## sylviaelliott (May 11, 2011)

jberg said:


> Hi, KPers. I just need some responses to this. A relative was at a fancy sit down reception at a wedding recently and pulled out her knitting while others at the table were still drinking their coffee and eating wedding cake. Just wondering. I have no words for this. Does anyone on KP? Thanks for your input. jberg


not on - time and place for everything.


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## doglady (Nov 12, 2013)

I have ADHD as an adult. So as my husband jokes I need to be entertained while I'm being entertained. Even so I would not knit at a reception. Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and behave. I have been known to knit at family gatherings such as Christmas parties or Graduation parties because I do not converse well with others. Rather than drag the rest of my immediate family home because I'm bored, I sit and do needlework. If I offend you, I'm sorry, but it is better than what would happen if I was forced to violate my ADHD disability.


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## knitbreak (Jul 19, 2011)

WOW! Finally finished reading all the posts.I've come to the conclusion that "opinions matter",and I enjoyed reading all of them,too.Freedom of speech is still alive and kicking! 
Thanks everyone.


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## granmarie5 (Jul 2, 2012)

Amen and Alleluia to that!


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## sockyarn (Jan 26, 2011)

There are times you should leave the knitting home. This activity at a wedding reception would give the impression that you might be bored and have better things to do. Not good manners.


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## Mollie (Feb 23, 2011)

It's really rude! However, weddings and all the ensuing hoopla do get incredibly boring. I've wished I had my knitting in those situations, but I would be afraid to actually knit.


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## silkandwool (Dec 5, 2011)

I have knit at a wedding reception. It was not a formal set down
reception. 
The bride and groom both know that I knit all the time. They said 
I didn't look complete without my knitting in my hands and that I 
should go get it out of the car. 
I always car knitting in my car. It is called my car project and often 
takes longer to complete because I only work on it in the car. It is 
usually socks, scarf or other small project.


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## sockyarn (Jan 26, 2011)

Have you re-read your post. You are also judging. You are judging those that are exercising there freedom of speech. They were asked "what they thought" and now they are being judged for having done so.


Clay Lady said:


> EVERYONE! STOP BEING SO JUDGMENTAL! (Yes, I am screaming at you!)
> 
> I had to stop scanning these self righteous replies halfway through the forum.
> 
> ...


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## KitKat789 (May 17, 2016)

inishowen said:


> That was just rude. As a child growing up with religious parents, we weren't allowed to do any needlework on a Sunday. Don't ask me why, I've no idea.


When my mother was growing up, she was not allowed to sew on Sundays because it was considered work. Exodus 20:8-10, one of the Ten Commandments.


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## nellig (May 10, 2016)

It's OK with me. It often helps one to pay better attention. It beats zoning out. Now that is offensive.
Let me ask you, ladies. When you are in your knitting groups, where is your attention? It's usually not on your knitting because you are making mistakes. How many have had to rip back because they were not paying attention to the knitting but to the conversations around them.
My advice--take mindless knitting with you everywhere you go and do it. You will know more about what is going on than anyone else.


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## ballerina (Feb 8, 2016)

No excuse for bad behavior.


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## Stampergrandma (Jun 6, 2011)

While I personally would not feel comfortable and confidant enough to knit at a wedding reception, I certainly would not censor another for doing so. Tolerance is something we all should be practicing. I don't feel she was being rude as she could still talk and visit with others. As others have pointed out, sometimes dancing and drinking is not on the table for certain people. I salute the women for feeling confidant enough to do that. And maybe she was nervous and the knitting helps calm her in social situations, we just don't know, but I think it's far from rude.


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## Knitnutty (Feb 9, 2011)

RUDE. Why didn't she just put a big sign around her neck saying, I'm bored and not really interested in your reception or the newlyweds. Some people have no class.


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## MrsMurdog (Apr 16, 2013)

Perhaps she was being ignored by the other guests at the table and was to shy to be aggressive about conversing. Or, perhaps she is hard of hearing and has difficulty conversing. Maybe she is ADHD or has HBP and needs something to keep her from spinning off her gourd. For goodness sake. Sitting quietly and knitting is far better than being a gossip, a bore or drunk and disorderly. Give her some grace.


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## flokrejci (Sep 24, 2015)

What I find interesting is that we could go on for 13 pages on this subject! Obviously a lot of us have strong opinions... I don't think I would have been offended to find someone near me knitting under the circumstances, but I am intrigued that so many would have been.


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## charbooth (Jan 9, 2015)

I take my knitting to a lot of places --HOWEVER I think taking it to a Wedding Reception is very tacky... I've heard of ladies knitting during a movie in a theater (with lighted needle ends) -- now I think that's funny!!!!!


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## cookie68 (May 5, 2012)

Rue and in appropriate


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## janetec (Jan 29, 2015)

While I agree that a wedding reception or any sit down formal type dinner is not the best place to knit, perhaps there was a reason. Was anyone talking to her at the table? Was she included in anything or just mostly ignored? Did she have an escort to talk to her? I have been to a number of events and have been mostly ignored at the dinner table and not included in the dinner conversation. (Reason I quit going) Just throwing in my 2 cents.


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## Stampergrandma (Jun 6, 2011)

MrsMurdog said:


> Perhaps she was being ignored by the other guests at the table and was to shy to be aggressive about conversing. Or, perhaps she is hard of hearing and has difficulty conversing. Maybe she is ADHD or has HBP and needs something to keep her from spinning off her gourd. For goodness sake. Sitting quietly and knitting is far better than being a gossip, a bore or drunk and disorderly. Give her some grace.


 :sm24: :sm24:


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## Carolinky (Oct 1, 2016)

Well, I'm gonna be an outlier here -- I think it's no big deal and not worth concerning yourself with. So what? If it made her feel more comfortable (maybe she has social anxiety or something else going on in her inner world that we know nothing about), what is the harm? I can't see how there is any harm done here and think there are many more positive things to put attention on. New love! Marriage! Food and drink and dance in celebration! Love love love love love. And compassion for ourselves and each other.


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## Stampergrandma (Jun 6, 2011)

Carolinky said:


> Well, I'm gonna be an outlier here -- I think it's no big deal and not worth concerning yourself with. So what? If it made her feel more comfortable (maybe she has social anxiety or something else going on in her inner world that we know nothing about), what is the harm? I can't see how there is any harm done here and think there are many more positive things to put attention on. New love! Marriage! Food and drink and dance in celebration! Love love love love love. And compassion for ourselves and each other.


 :sm24:


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## GeorgialCampbell (Jul 2, 2014)

jberg said:


> Hi, KPers. I just need some responses to this. A relative was at a fancy sit down reception at a wedding recently and pulled out her knitting while others at the table were still drinking their coffee and eating wedding cake. Just wondering. I have no words for this. Does anyone on KP? Thanks for your input. jberg


 If she was just knitting out of boredom I would think that was rude just like playing on a cell phone BUT if she had a good reason for it like maybe she had quit smoking and had an after dinner knit instead of an after dinner cigarette then that is different, I say knit on sweetie!

Georgia


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## susandkline (Oct 26, 2015)

just4brown said:


> If she was so bored and/or felt uncomfortable then she should have left, or taken out her phone and played on that. I think it was totally inappropriate for a guest to do that and would have been insulted if I were the bride.


Why is 'taking out your phone' not considered disrespectful but knitting is? If you are texting, reading or playing a game on your phone, I think you are paying less attention to those around you than when knitting.


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## msmarie1 (Jun 2, 2013)

charbooth.....................Knitting with Lighted ends in a movie..YES! that is funny....
I also think that would be Rude, because those lighted ends flitting along would bother
the next person...I am sure!....I feel someone would say something to that person
trying to watch the movie.....don't you think?


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## Medieval Reenactor (Sep 3, 2013)

just4brown said:


> If she was so bored and/or felt uncomfortable then she should have left, or taken out her phone and played on that. I think it was totally inappropriate for a guest to do that and would have been insulted if I were the bride.


But it's okay to play on your phone!?! I'm flabbergasted. One can knit and be sociable, participate in conversations, etc. Phone use is very solitaire.


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## Nana of 6 (Jan 21, 2016)

You said it, Susandkline. That is the height of disrespect. Communicating with someone else on a cellphone sends out a clear message that the person at the end of the phone line is more important than what is physically around you. Knit on, at least you are still involved with your surroundings.


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## jonibee (Nov 3, 2011)

Rude...this isn't the time or the place for this...


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## smillar (Nov 17, 2012)

I know a couple of people who do this, and until I learned why I also thought it was rude.
However, I have since learned that they had social anxiety and were working very hard to break through this issue, and they way offered to them by their doctor was crochet or knitting.
Maybe to stay home from the wedding would have been not acceptable, and this was the only way she could manage to attend.
Not easy...


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## -knitter (Aug 22, 2011)

The older I get, the less inclined I am to sit and do nothing. Maybe I'll just avoid social events.


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## smillar (Nov 17, 2012)

Please do not do this...it will lead to further isolation, which is so unhealthy!


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## charbooth (Jan 9, 2015)

I totally love all of the responses here and I just have to respond to KitKat789... I was raised in a very conservative Christian home (Mennonite) and I also was told I could not sew or do some other things on Sunday because it was considered work.... now I get some of my best knitting done on Sundays watching Football.... Funny how things change!!!!!


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## prolife (Aug 10, 2013)

Maybe knitting to her is like bringing a" calming companion dog" along. We just don't dream what inner turmoil the person next to us is undergoing. Smiles, jude


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## BlueBerry36 (Mar 10, 2016)

Some at our church knits to during the service to so I guess its normal now??


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## jacquij (Jan 30, 2014)

When I lived in Canada I took my knitting to bowling, etc. I have knitted for years & years and don't need to "concentrate" on it, unless I am at a special place in the pattern. When I moved to Kansas I took it to basketball games, but got some strange looks from the parents there (my husband was a teacher). Finally I stopped taking it, but I agree that it is a form of calming down in a new situation for some people. However, at a wedding reception is way out of line! It's probably too late to get the message to her by now.


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## jacquij (Jan 30, 2014)

When I lived in Canada I took my knitting to bowling, etc. I have knitted for years & years and don't need to "concentrate" on it, unless I am at a special place in the pattern. When I moved to Kansas I took it to basketball games, but got some strange looks from the parents there (my husband was a teacher). Finally I stopped taking it, but I agree that it is a form of calming down in a new situation for some people. However, at a wedding reception is way out of line! It's probably too late to get the message to her by now.


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## Ohpeachi (Oct 16, 2012)

NO! NO! NO!


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## MissNettie (Dec 15, 2012)

Pearls Girls said:


> I would pray for the person if I thought that they were doing something inappropriately. Then I would mind my own business and make sure by example that I did not do what I did not like. Some people are very fidgety and choose to keep their hands busy. There was an old saying " idle hands are the devils work". I try not to pass judgement on most things. Many times everything is not as it seems.


I agree. Unless I know the entire circumstances, I know the entire situation I do not feel that I can be judgmental. If the bride, groom and their parents had no problem, that would be all that mattered to me. The knitter might look inappropriate, but unless it insulted the wedding party, I would not judge. MN


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## smillar (Nov 17, 2012)

Exactly correct. But I understand if people have not come across this before, it would be hard to go immediately to a place of understanding. I know I didn't, until I met someone willing to share why they were doing this.
many thanks, Sandra


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## SquidgeWA (Apr 28, 2015)

I'm pretty casual, but that was perhaps just a bit too casual. If the knitter uses that to keep anxiety, twitches, etc, in check, well OK. Otherwise ...


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## Montana Gramma (Dec 19, 2012)

I knit a baby sweater every 4 th. of July when at the lake for many hours. You can only visit and repeat some things so many times and I do not enjoy the water. Gkids swim, I watch and knit and add to the conversations. No one has ever said I was rude or asked me to quit etc. in fact they all want to know what it is and who it is for that year. 
Personally I would not take it to a wedding but then I am one that finds people on their phones all the time while dining etc. much ruder, and while texting is quiet IMHO children might as well skip the "family" time as they are ignored to the hilt. 
Perhaps she was feeling left out, does not do well in social settings, is anti-social, who knows, but it is not the crime of the century. Just guessing, but I bet she doesn't give a fig what others think, she herself had her reasons.


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## st1tch (Dec 13, 2011)

How very bad mannered.


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## ballerina (Feb 8, 2016)

I agree about the cell phones saw a family of 2 adults 2 kids all on cell. What does that tell you.


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## pjcoldren (Dec 20, 2011)

I'm in the minority here, I think. If she was knitting on something small/discreet, I wouldn't have a problem with it at all. Maybe knitting helps her not overeat. Maybe she knits just about everywhere. I think people spending their whole life looking at cell phones is far worse - most knitters can converse and knit at the same time. Not so true of people with cell phones. Just my opinion - do with it what you will.


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## litprincesstwo (Nov 11, 2012)

While I haven't read each post I feel drawn to comment. While it may not be appropriate I would side with the knitter. I 've always been uncomfortable in social situations. Can't remember a time that I was able to sit an enjoy myself. I admit I've never pulled out my knitting at a wedding reception but there have been times I'd loved too. Knitting has helped my overcome my stress on social situations.


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## kjcipswich (Apr 27, 2015)

As others have said, there is a time and a place.


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## Still Clicking (May 24, 2014)

That is very tacky. There is not much you can say without making everyone at the table uncomfortable. Maybe if you want to comment write lady a note.


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## Lillyhooch (Sep 27, 2012)

I guess some people are just not sociable - in which case one wonders why they attend social occasions. Knitting in some circumstances (such as at a wedding reception) is telling everyone that they are not sufficiently interesting. Would this lady have knitted in a church service I wonder?


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## BARBIE-s (Sep 15, 2014)

Not in church, not at a wedding, and not in a restaurant......IMHO!


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## nellig (May 10, 2016)

Knitnutty said:


> RUDE. Why didn't she just put a big sign around her neck saying, I'm bored and not really interested in your reception or the newlyweds. Some people have no class.


Because she wasn't bored. That is your interpretation of her behavior. Judging someone without knowing their intention is a lack of class.


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## Lillyhooch (Sep 27, 2012)

KP members, please do not use this forum to get narky at others. Keep it pleasant. It is not hard to express an opinion without being offensive. (Hopefully I am living up to this.)


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## 3butterflies (May 28, 2013)

Lillyhooch said:


> KP members, please do not use this forum to get narky at others. Keep it pleasant. It is not hard to express an opinion without being offensive. (Hopefully I am living up to this.)


❤❤❤❤


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## raindancer (Aug 19, 2012)

Davena said:


> I believe in LIVE AND LET LIVE. We do not know the whole story or situation. She may have had the bride and grooms blessings to do her knitting, as she may be the type who had to always have something to do. I will not judge her. I woulds not knit at a wedding or at church but would not think badly if one does. Life is just way to short to worry about such trivia things. jmo.


 :sm24: :sm24: :sm24: :sm24: :sm24:


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## zbangel (Jun 28, 2011)

Be careful about judging. I, for one, am much more present and "tuned in" while knitting. Also, would much rather have knitting to fiddle with while everyone else is fiddling with cake which I do not eat. I would never assume someone is not enjoying the event simply because the are knitting.


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## barbarafletcher (Apr 2, 2012)

Shame on her..I love looking around and chatting admiring others outfits and just capturing the moment! And before long it's time for home. A wedding day goes so quickly. All the preparations and it's all over bar for memories. Knitting is for another day...


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## rosemarya (May 25, 2013)

Just plain rude!


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## Hohjocello (Jul 7, 2011)

I KIP often, but some locations such as church and wedding receptions are not appropriate for this behavior. Thinking further, one should probably not KIP when having tea with the Queen either. :sm16:


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## SGreenWinnipeg (Jul 12, 2014)

I think it is very inappropriate especially at at weddin or any other formal function 
SG


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## Runner Girl (Mar 27, 2013)

Totally inappropriate.


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## PauletteB (Mar 10, 2011)

This is another place I would not knit, disrespectful.


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## Rescue Mom (Jul 28, 2011)

Inappropriate and totally unacceptable. Neither the time nor the place...????????


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## tessknits (Sep 26, 2016)

I have a different take on this. I agree with others that some people are more "tuned in" when they knit. It's a very sociable craft. I remember my great-aunts crafting all the time in social situations. I would not do this during church or wedding services, though. It wouldn't bother me if someone pulled out a project during the reception. Maybe not their afghan...


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## tessknits (Sep 26, 2016)

I wonder if this was more acceptable when most women knit or crocheted, a few decades ago.


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## ummirain (Feb 1, 2013)

I find weddings boring, actually; so much sitting around waiting for the next ritualistic thing.
Perhaps because I do not drink alcoholic beverages ?
Perhaps because I have to cope with those who do, if they become loud or maudlin ?
Perhaps because I have been to so many ?
Perhaps it would be more rude to not attend than to occupy myself during the speeches, frequently delivered by those who have imbibed for hours and have a problem winding down.
I always have a project in the car.
Perhaps because I am ADD ?
In conclusion, I admire women who do what they want.
Who was she hurting, really ?
If this were my daughter's or son's wedding, I would say,
"I saw a woman knitting. I wonder what?"
Just sayin'


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## Hannelore (Oct 26, 2011)

No way. Very inconsiderate of her to do this at a wedding.


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## Danielito (Jan 9, 2015)

Hm,I am not sure. Maybe a wedding is not the place. But when I was growing up in Europe we always brought our knitting along when we visited each other. I have been told off at family gatherings because I knit, but everyone is watching some game on TV or a movie and I don't watch TV. What is one to do, sit around bored?


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## oannejay (Apr 12, 2012)

She must have had a deadline, just kidding.


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## SEA (Feb 9, 2011)

I don't think I would ever do this but we are all different.

I think it is more inappropriate for people to leave the table to go for a smoke. Perhaps she was on a diet and didn't wanted to be tempted to eat the cake so she took out her knitting. Or maybe it was a wedding gift and wanted to finishes it before the reception ws over. 
SEA


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## oannejay (Apr 12, 2012)

SEA said:


> I don't think I would ever do this but we are all different.
> 
> I think it is more inappropriate for people to leave the table to go for a smoke. Perhaps she was on a diet and didn't wanted to be tempted to eat the cake so she took out her knitting. Or maybe it was a wedding gift and wanted to finishes it before the reception ws over.
> SEA


I think we got the answer, a gift for the couple! Now we know!!


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## Danielito (Jan 9, 2015)

I totally agree with you, don't judge, no one was hurt, we object to knitting but not to all the drunk people .....


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## ChristmasTree (Nov 28, 2011)

granmarie5 said:


> How many cell phones were visible. Now that is what I call rude!


Now you've hit the nail on the head! 
Everywhere I go I see people with their eyes downcast, fingers flying, texting. I don't think my (adult) children could attend a wedding without their phones. Knitting a small mindless project during the reception should not be any different.


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## fdb123 (Mar 30, 2012)

I haven't read all 17 pages of replies, but while I might notice the woman I don't think I'd spend much time or mental energy on it. It doesn't sound disruptive. At least she didn't get snockered and start singing rude songs! Who knows her reasons? And who cares? If it is rude, it's pretty minor.


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## Lillyhooch (Sep 27, 2012)

fdb123 said:


> I haven't read all 17 pages of replies, but while I might notice the woman I don't think I'd spend much time or mental energy on it. It doesn't sound disruptive. At least she didn't get snockered and start singing rude songs! Who knows her reasons? And who cares? If it is rude, it's pretty minor.


Maybe she needed a distraction so she didn't get 'snockered and start singing rude songs'. I love that expression...'snockered'!!


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## beadknitter (Sep 23, 2011)

One comment I would make on this, & only my opinion, was I was wondering how many people at the reception were on their phones, texting on talking. When people are on their phones they usually speak loud enough that people in the next block can hear them & I find this more annoying & inappropriate than knitting at a reception, the knitting was a quiet thing she was doing & not annoying anyone else. If I saw someone knitting I would be over there seeing what they were doing, so I probably would be classed as rude as well.


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## Knitted by Nan (Aug 3, 2013)

motormom said:


> I'm probably going to be the odd woman out here, but here goes. Knitting at the actual ceremony - definitely not appropriate. Knitting while sitting at a table chatting with other folks at the reception - probably ok, as long as the knitter can still participate in whatever conversation was going on.


 :sm24: :sm24: :sm24:


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## Knitted by Nan (Aug 3, 2013)

Lorry4315 said:


> Hi, I guess I would be considered rude also because I crochet during performances at the local theatre groups I go to. I make sure I'm not in the front row where the actors could be distracted by my crocheting but, it keeps me from falling asleep during the show! I really don't even think the actors could see me because of the lighting on the stage. The only time I had a problem was when I dropped the aluminum crochet hook and it fell down the stairs, clink, clink, clink....now i use a bone hook so that doesn't make any noise if it should fall....My neighbor who I go to the shows with, now tells me not to forget my crocheting so I don't fall asleep....But, getting back to the subject it seems that is she was knitting she wasn't dancing and it was at the end of the reception....she was still observing the festivities. I don't see anything wrong with it better than being a falling down drunk which does happen at some weddings. I'm glad she was comfortable enough to knit. Lorraine


 :sm24:


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## Knitted by Nan (Aug 3, 2013)

granmarie5 said:


> Knit where you want and when you want if you feel comfortable doing so. It is soothing. In some social gatherings one needs to chill!


 :sm24:


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## Knitted by Nan (Aug 3, 2013)

beaulynd said:


> I think that what she did was fine. It was during the reception, after dinner, during coffee when people relax. She mostly probably could follow and participate in the discussion. It is not hard to do. The family connection is a bit extended, being the wife of the cousin of the bride's mother. The last wedding that I went to had a similar tenuous family connection. I knew the people at the table, all three of them. After dinner two of us left and went for a walk. The music was loud, we did not dance and the others were all with family in groups. Wish that I had some knitting at that point.


 :sm24:


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## Knitted by Nan (Aug 3, 2013)

hersh said:


> You are Soo rite. While you are eyeballing the crowd for knitters, please take a look a all the blank faces where people have allowed their minds to wander off. Many attend these functions to be with a spouse or family member who otherwise would not attend. Listening to people around you that you have only just met natter about nothing & fueled with booze. Smart lady, wish I had been smart enough to bring my knitting many a time.
> Just my opinion


 :sm24: :sm24: :sm24:


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## Knitted by Nan (Aug 3, 2013)

mousepotato said:


> Sorry, kiddos, I often knit at wedding receptions. I have a very hard time hearing the conversations in such times, too much noise, and we don't dance, and we don't drink, and, very often these days, we know only the bride or groom or their parents. I have found that a small project (usually I knit socks) that fits into my purse, saves me from total boredom. I have no problem joining into conversations with people I know, provided that the music isn't so loud as to be deafening. While you may disapprove, it makes a great deal of sense to me rather than simply sitting there, bored to tears, especially if I don't really know anyone.


 :sm24: :sm24: :sm24:


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## KitKat789 (May 17, 2016)

susandkline said:


> Why is 'taking out your phone' not considered disrespectful but knitting is? If you are texting, reading or playing a game on your phone, I think you are paying less attention to those around you than when knitting.


Amen to that! A friend that I often have lunch with always has her phone out while we are eating. (Mine is silenced and in my handbag.) She will interrupt me when I'm speaking. "Sorry I have to take this." I'm sure she has no idea how much it bothers me to be cut off in mid-sentence. Confronting her just isn't worth it.


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## dawnmc1 (Sep 3, 2011)

Definately a NO! :sm25:


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## crochetknit Deb (Sep 18, 2012)

jberg said:


> Hi, KPers. I just need some responses to this. A relative was at a fancy sit down reception at a wedding recently and pulled out her knitting while others at the table were still drinking their coffee and eating wedding cake. Just wondering. I have no words for this. Does anyone on KP? Thanks for your input. jberg


Just don't knit booties.


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## amoamarone (Feb 21, 2015)

I might want to, but I wouldn't do it!


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## knitteerli (Jun 3, 2015)

Oh, perhaps she was just trying to avoid eating cake and drinking coffee. Harmless oddity, in my opinion, she could have behaved really badly as some folk do at such events. Let her be, if the worst she can do is knit, so be it, if the best she can do is knit, what's wrong with that? I'd worry more about you worrying about such a harmless little thing. For all we know she paid for all the cake and coffee.


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## Julie's Mom (Feb 22, 2015)

Ridiculous! I never knit around food, anyhow. At my Temple (we're Jewish), I knit at classes, meetings, and lectures, but never during formal services. I just think it's rude.


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## Matha (Oct 18, 2016)

Don't be so quick to judge. My late aunt took her knitting everywhere and she was socially perfect. The lady might have needed the knitting to calm herself or to be able to focus on what was going on around her. Perhaps she needs knitting as a way to start conversation and we have no idea how many generations she may have influenced to take up knitting.


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## PaKnitter (Mar 7, 2011)

amoamarone said:


> I might want to, but I wouldn't do it!


I hear that!

More than once I have thought 'if I were home I could be doing this or that' but I suck it up. If someone thinks enough of me to invite me to their celebration I can put their feelings first. It won't kill me.


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## ummirain (Feb 1, 2013)

????


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## luvrcats (Dec 7, 2014)

some people just don't know when and where is appropriate.


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## Moon Loomer I (Apr 29, 2016)

My Gram could not hold a conversation with out her current knitting project. She always knew what was going on. Some people can be a better conversationalist working their craft than without. I think you had her best attention, I know that was my Grams. We learned not to try to sneak an off color comment into the conversation that =ed Gram's wrath! Moon Loomer I



jberg said:


> Hi, KPers. I just need some responses to this. A relative was at a fancy sit down reception at a wedding recently and pulled out her knitting while others at the table were still drinking their coffee and eating wedding cake. Just wondering. I have no words for this. Does anyone on KP? Thanks for your input. jberg


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## missyern (Jan 23, 2011)

Eleanor Roosevelt carried her knitting everywhere. I don't know that she would have knitted in this situation - but - she may have.


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## awpacky (Mar 12, 2011)

bevvyreay said:


> I have one RUDE there's a time and a place and that wasn't it. I say the same when people get their phones out at the table


I totally agree with every word.

I would have said the same thing


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## patinthehat (Apr 25, 2014)

There must be some kind of rule for behavior, some expectation of what people can and cannot do, which I'm not getting here. A wedding reception is hardly so sacred or solemn that knitting will disrupt the proceedings. It is somewhat disturbing that so many people find this simple activity inappropriate or rude. Her behavior was certainly not aimed at insulting or snubbing the other guests; if the wedding party objected that is their business. I am struggling to express my dismay without making others feel attacked, but I disagree strongly that there is a need to be so harsh about this situation. It would be most unfortunate if this restarted up the "knitting in church' discussion, and my hope is that people will be able to accept that I feel strongly on this and let it be.


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## fdb123 (Mar 30, 2012)

patinthehat said:


> There must be some kind of rule for behavior, some expectation of what people can and cannot do, which I'm not getting here. A wedding reception is hardly so sacred or solemn that knitting will disrupt the proceedings. It is somewhat disturbing that so many people find this simple activity inappropriate or rude. Her behavior was certainly not aimed at insulting or snubbing the other guests; if the wedding party objected that is their business. I am struggling to express my dismay without making others feel attacked, but I disagree strongly that there is a need to be so harsh about this situation. It would be most unfortunate if this restarted up the "knitting in church' discussion, and my hope is that people will be able to accept that I feel strongly on this and let it be.


I, too, feel that I'm missing something. People are drinking coffee, eating cake and talking. Why would anyone be upset that the woman's knitting?


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## valj46 (Jul 25, 2011)

I would not like to see someone clicking away when the couple are saying their vows in church so it would be a sacred & solemn time .many couples still get married in church .


patinthehat said:


> There must be some kind of rule for behavior, some expectation of what people can and cannot do, which I'm not getting here. A wedding reception is hardly so sacred or solemn that knitting will disrupt the proceedings. It is somewhat disturbing that so many people find this simple activity inappropriate or rude. Her behavior was certainly not aimed at insulting or snubbing the other guests; if the wedding party objected that is their business. I am struggling to express my dismay without making others feel attacked, but I disagree strongly that there is a need to be so harsh about this situation. It would be most unfortunate if this restarted up the "knitting in church' discussion, and my hope is that people will be able to accept that I feel strongly on this and let it be.


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## ljknits (May 22, 2011)

crochetknit Deb said:


> Just don't knit booties.


Thanks for giving me a good laugh during this discussion with strong feelings both ways. I actually have no opinion given I don't know the circumstances well enough to know if the wedding party objected of if the knitter had medical reasons to need the distraction.

I do know that I curtailed my public knitting after I saw a Coats and Clarks ad many years ago showing two couples socializing out on a deck. One woman was looking down at her knitting as she sat in her lawn chair. The other three were engaged in active conversation. It made me think about how distracted I can seem when I'' knitting, even if I'm paying close attention to what's going on around me. So, I do much less knitting in public than before I saw that ad.


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## Julie's Mom (Feb 22, 2015)

Hmm, I never heard that about Eleanor Roosevelt. I actually met her once, in a group visit in 1960 to her Hyde Park cottage, and she wasn't knitting then. (Yes, I was a knitter back then, when I was in college.)


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## knitteerli (Jun 3, 2015)

Still can see no harm in knitting while others are eating cake and drinking whatever. I suppose it drew attention away fro those who were not stickin out their pinkies while holding their cups. The horror!


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## Patrice B-Z (Dec 22, 2014)

Normally I would say it isn't a good thing, but none of us knows if this person has Anxiety issues or maybe they were mentally challanged or something, and this helped to make them feel more at ease and be still. I think more information would be required before I would pass judgement. We are quick to jump to conclusions, and I've learned to take a step back and find out the details first.


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## smidge1952 (Mar 4, 2013)

Definitely not acceptable.


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## RosieS (Apr 21, 2016)

I think it inappropriate and rude behaviour but does the person suffer from dementia or any type of mental issues?. If so then you should all be sympathetic to the persons condition.


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## Diane84 (Sep 26, 2016)

There is nothing wrong with knitting at a wedding reception at the end of the meal. It's not rude or inconsiderate. If you don't like her kniting at a reception then you need to say something to her about it. I hope you all have a nice day!


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## KateLyn11 (Jul 19, 2014)

I have never knit at a wedding reception, but I can't say I NEVER would. There are so many health and sensory reasons why this woman might have chosen to knit and none of us knows if any are factors in her life. We also don't know what is going in her personal life. When I was married to my ex husband I went to many social activities that I would have otherwise missed because it wasn't worth the resulting fight if I didn't. He would be totally immersed in the activity and leave me to fend for myself. I didn't knit then, if I had, my knitting would have been in my hands. 

For everyone who draws the line at knitting at wedding receptions or church (or anywhere else), stop and think, there are probably many others who think the places you knit outside of the home, are inappropriate, inconsiderate or strange. Heck, I knit in the treatment chair at my dentist's office. I am "extremely dental phobic", his words not mine. But knitting every second he isn't actually working on me (white knuckled grip on chair when he is) keeps me calm enough to show up regularly for treatment and minimizes my use of drugs/nitrous oxide. Seems petty to some but it is very real and very stressful for me.


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## CharlotteAnna (Aug 6, 2015)

HOW RUDE!!!'


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## CharlotteAnna (Aug 6, 2015)

HOW RUDE!!!'


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## scumbugusa (Oct 10, 2011)

jberg said:


> Hi, KPers. I just need some responses to this. A relative was at a fancy sit down reception at a wedding recently and pulled out her knitting while others at the table were still drinking their coffee and eating wedding cake. Just wondering. I have no words for this. Does anyone on KP? Thanks for your input. jberg


Really bad manners. Lack of respect for the bride and groom and the people that invited her.


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## Sftflannelnjeans (Mar 11, 2016)

You all are right, there is a time and place for everything , BUT. I say but because, well sometimes, there is a person so very ill at ease in a social situation that this person has to have something to occupy their hands in order to avoid running screaming in the opposite direction. This is called SOCIAL PHOBIA, a very real, and very terrifying mental disability. I have a friend who has it, and he suffers greatly.....he HAS to have a book, or hand held game when in any social gathering. It is a bad thing to want to be a part of a group of a gathering, but terrified of it at the same time.


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## sandrak320 (Jun 19, 2016)

Growing up, I always had a knitting project with me when we went to visit relatives. (Long car rides to visit either set of grandparents.) Something of a wallflower, I'd sit to the side and knit away. My grandmothers were impressed that I always had a project. These days, I will take my knitting to doctor appointments; and yes, I do knit during church service. Believe me, if my pastor didn't like it, he'd tell me. Maybe it's denominational, we belong to a Southern Baptist church. Others also knit during the service. Now for a wedding? Not during the wedding, but if I was stuck at a reception, maybe. When family and friends are used to seeing you knit, it's usually no big deal. We are not fancy-shmancy.


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## sandrak320 (Jun 19, 2016)

charbooth said:


> I take my knitting to a lot of places --HOWEVER I think taking it to a Wedding Reception is very tacky... I've heard of ladies knitting during a movie in a theater (with lighted needle ends) -- now I think that's funny!!!!!


Oh! Lighted knitting needles?! Where can I find them?


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## Woodsywife (Mar 9, 2014)

How disrespectful.


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