# Venting...



## PaKnitter (Mar 7, 2011)

This is a little off topic but I'm still thinking about it so I guess I'm just a little ticked...I knitted a sweater and hat for a baby shower I was invited to. When I rsvp the Grandmother asked me what I planned to buy off the registry and I said nothing as I'm knitting a sweater and hat. She asked if I was knitting a blanket and booties to go with it and I said 'no'. She gave me this look so I said if she wants a matching afghan she can ask me later.

I did knit two 4" washcloths and bought a Noah's Ark Christmas tree ornament and package of Huggies.

The Grandmother told her daughter everything she was getting before the shower and as the gifts were opened the mother-to-be didn't have one word to say about one gift she received. Just one big 'thank you' for coming to my shower and the gifts at the end. 

The mother-to-be never spoke before this and I've seen her 3 times since and she still can't say, 'hi' so she will never ask about a matching afghan but I've been avoiding the Grandmother.

This family has been my next door neighbors for +20 years which makes it worse.


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## Dar19Knits (Jul 2, 2011)

A gift should be just that ... A gift, not an "order." You can hold your head high as you gave from the heart. Why is it the younger generation has a problem with a proper "thank you."


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## MarykM (Jun 29, 2011)

How awful for you, people can be so bad mannered, don't let them make you feel bad you did a really nice thing just a shame they didn't appreciate your work and the thought that went into it.


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## courier770 (Jan 29, 2011)

How incredibly rude of both mom and grandmother! On the off chance you are asked about an afghan/blanket in the future..I'd say "gee you know. I'm really pretty busy these days, perhaps you can purchase one already made.".


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## elsienicholls (Mar 24, 2011)

How rude - a gift should be from the heart as yours was and a simple "thank you" should come from the receiver's heart

The new culture in our world is just about too much to deal with.

You gave something special that you made - good job


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## EileenED (Aug 19, 2011)

people can be so rude :roll:


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## Sine (Jun 12, 2011)

The fact that the grandmother asked you what your gift would be and that she told her daughter everything she was getting before the shower is beyond rude. 
You made a gift from the heart; that's what is important.


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## RookieRetiree (Jan 27, 2011)

Don't blame you for being peeved....I would be also. Gifts received may not always be to a recipient's taste (daughter received a very frilly ribbon laced afghan for her baby son)- but that does not remove the need for appreciation for the thought, materials and time that the giver put into the gift....Daughter made a point to go visit the giver with the baby wrapped lovingly in that afghan. I'm not sure the younger generation was learned appreciation ...but I've seen some of them come to that trait later on as the lessons of life's hard knocks season them some....you may still get that thank you...but I'm with you, you don't need to offer up making any other things for her.


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## dawn4knit (Jul 25, 2011)

I echo everyone's thoughts on rudeness beyond belief. Here are my thoughts on gifts. If someone gives me something even it is not my style that person thought I would like it so I am going to use it, wear it, etc and appreciate them thinking of me. People are soooooo much more important than things. And if I have even a hint that someone did not appreciate my hand knitted gift, they sure never get another.


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## Poledra65 (Jul 6, 2011)

I agree, they are the ones who should be in avoidance, the should both be ashamed of themselves, if the only reason they had the shower was to get specific things without buying them themselves, they should just have told people that from the beginning. I think your gift will probably be the only one she remembers years from now, purely because it was the only one given from the heart that someone took the time to make with their own hands.


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## PaKnitter (Mar 7, 2011)

To kaye...
No, she won't remember it as a co-worker made a crib size fleece afghan for the shower. She didn't even bother opening it up all the way so we could see it but the back side was one solid color the front another color with a huge applique of ? and the blanket stitch was a contrast color. She mumble something like I already knew she was making this for me and tossed it aside to open the next gift.

The neighbor across the street made a baby cocoon and hat on her kniffy knitter and gave it to her ahead of time fearing she wouldn't like it and she was right...She was told she didn't like the pink in the baby colors of blue, pink and white because they are having a boy. She went out and bought her a $100.00 gift...yes, $100.00 gift which didn't seem to generate much of a response either. 

Just no personality and to think she works at a Day Care!

Really I don't know why I am still foaming at the mouth about any of this because we went through the same thing at her first Wedding Shower.

I have no intentions of doing more for her and if she and the new boyfriend decide to get married she need not invite me to the shower or wedding.


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## Edith M (Aug 10, 2011)

That is the main reason I knit and crochet mostly for charity. My grand/great grandchildren have not learned to say thank you or even acknowlege the reciept of gifts I have labored over and then had to pay postage on. I have had to call them to inquire if the package arrived and the response is usually," Oh yes it came last week." I refuse to humiliate myself further by asking if the liked it. I love them all but that treatment really hurts.


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## MoMo (Apr 28, 2011)

PaKnitter, 
I agree that both the mother-to-be and the grandmother were probably raised by wolves... There is no excuse for their rudeness.... BUT... are you going to let their rudeness ruin your outlook? Please don;t! I can tell you from watching people for many years, my own husband is at the head of the list) You are the one who suffers most by remaining angry... they probably haven't even noticed that you are ticked off because they are so absorbed in their own little drama.. So, my advice would be to take a deep breath, hold your head up and smile when they walk by... it will make them feel lower than a snake's belly... and you will have nothing held in your heart that brings you down!!! If you and her boyfriend decide to ever get married and they ask you to the showers, befiore you evenb know the date, just smile sweetly and say "so sorry, I will be busy that day" before you even know what day it is.... they might take a while to get the idea, but it will sink in eventually! MoMo


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## MoMo (Apr 28, 2011)

OOPS! I meant to say if SHE and her boyfriend even decide to get married.... don;t want to create my own little drama here!! LOL!!


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## EileenED (Aug 19, 2011)

I am lucky as when I knit my grandchildren anything they are so greatfull and have asked will I still do them items when they go uni very soon, depends how children are raised I guess


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## kentish lady (Jun 10, 2011)

l have been to a couple of baby showers the other year and l just knit a blanket as l dont know what they were haveing at the time ,only to find when there was a baby crawl and table sale one of the mothers had my blanket for sale for a $1 all that work l did and she thought it was only worth a $1, well hence no more baby showers for me


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## AvonelleRed (Jun 29, 2011)

I actually taught myself to knit just so I could knit a baby blanket for the daughter of our neighbor. I couldn't make it to the shower, but gave the gift to her mother to take to the shower. Inside the bag was the baby blanket, a Tigger plush animal (they are doing the nursery in Winnie the Pooh characters), and a card with cash because I would rather they be able to buy something they choose from any store they want instead of having to pick something from their registery. It was a nice cash gift, too.

Never heard a word of thank you. However, I am still gracious to them because I realize that this girl is still very young (17), and probably has no idea of the proper way to behave when receiving something from someone. I have made sure my own kids know how to say thank you, but not everyone does that, apparently.

Anyway, I still feel really good about my gifts to her, and I did receive something from the whole thing - I learned to knit! I love it.

Be happy you made something from your heart, and move on. Anger does nothing for the person at whom you are mad. It only hurts you. Don't let yourself have an stress over this.


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## Linda6885 (Feb 13, 2011)

How very, very rude. Don't take it so much to heart. Even though they have been your neighbors for a long time, now you have learned just what kind of people or at least the Grandmother is. I would not try and get their 'approval'. You made a lovely gift, their attitude shows they don't deserve anymore of your time and effort. It is beyond rude for the mother to be not to have sent a hand written personal thank you, whether it is a gift she wanted or not. I think we all have been hurt in this manner at one time or another so you are not alone.


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## lusina (Aug 24, 2011)

i know just how you feel I made a baby afghan for someone at work when I gave it to her in a gift bag she did not look at it I said are you going to look at it she said i can see it that why i don't do it any more


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## Awanda (Jan 29, 2011)

Hi this was very hurtful and disappointing for you. Forgive her and let it go. People are interesting just when you think you know them. Don't let this destroy who you are as a person. Remember you have the gift to knit for babies who are not on the a registry, and they also don't have a home. They are the little one's in shelters. Check out an organization call "Stitches from the Heart." It's moments like this I wish I could get pregnant; not gonna happen at 60. I think I need a womb. LOL


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## lusina (Aug 24, 2011)

i know just how you feel I made a baby afghan for someone at work when I gave it to her in a gift bag she did not look at it I said are you going to look at it she said i can see it that why i don't do it any more


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## Sewvirgo (Jul 27, 2011)

Most of us who love to craft have had our gifts rudely received at least a couple of times. If they don't recognize the effort and love that we knit/crochet/sew into our gifts, how shallow they are! Really, it's a reflection on them and it's not pretty. A handmade gift is like a litmus test to find the good-hearted people.


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## courier770 (Jan 29, 2011)

I actually had a wonderful experience with a coworker. He and his wife were expecting so I made a crib blanket (white) and held off on the trim until I found out the baby's gender, then added the blue trim.

When the baby was born I brought the blanket to work (boxed and wrapped) and put it in Dad's truck. I got a phone call from the couple, a thank you card and a big hug when Dad came back to work. 

Some people are very appreciative others are not. Sadly there's no way to predict who is or isn't.


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## PaKnitter (Mar 7, 2011)

Each of you is so kind and wise. 

The grandparents are still my next door neighbors. Only the mother-to-be moved out so she and the father-to-be can share joint custody of the kid...her words...not mine. 

I'm okay now after venting and am finishing a scarf I am knitting for a soldier. 

I do a lot of charity work and make hats and scarves for the homeless men on the streets of Pittsburgh, a few items for the Shelia's Shawl project, Joe DiMaggio's Children Hospital, our Soldiers and preemies. 

My family has all the knitted afghans they will ever need from me. 

Thank you for listening....


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## juliacraftylady666 (May 14, 2011)

I think its one of those forma of politeness that just went out the window,my sister and her children never even acknowleged parcels or presents from my mother and i,my daughter just said dont make me any of that crap i like gold(beading) or designer!
We were taught to say thankyou even if you didnt like the gift,i dont make things for hardly anyone anymore,its not that you give to expect thanks but it sure helps getting a thankyou,dont make anything for these people again they can go to the shops.


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## Colorado knits (Jul 6, 2011)

MoMo said:


> PaKnitter,
> I agree that both the mother-to-be and the grandmother were probably raised by wolves... There is no excuse for their rudeness.... BUT... are you going to let their rudeness ruin your outlook? Please don;t! I can tell you from watching people for many years, my own husband is at the head of the list) You are the one who suffers most by remaining angry... they probably haven't even noticed that you are ticked off because they are so absorbed in their own little drama.. So, my advice would be to take a deep breath, hold your head up and smile when they walk by... it will make them feel lower than a snake's belly... and you will have nothing held in your heart that brings you down!!! If you and her boyfriend decide to ever get married and they ask you to the showers, befiore you evenb know the date, just smile sweetly and say "so sorry, I will be busy that day" before you even know what day it is.... they might take a while to get the idea, but it will sink in eventually! MoMo


Oh, MoMo, people like that will not feel lower than a snake's belly. I know way too many of these self-absorbed, self-important, and selfish (edited) jerks. But turning down the date of an event without knowing the date is perfect!


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## courier770 (Jan 29, 2011)

I'm feeling pretty great now..not gloating but I do knit for some people and they always go a little crazy when I make them something. Think I'm going to count these little blessings. Don't get me wrong I've come across a fair share of rude and ungrateful people in my life..luckily I don't seem to have any of them around me at the moment.


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## pattys76 (Apr 7, 2011)

All I can say is Le Takay! How sad that neither the grandmother or the mother to be has been raised to show appreciation for someone else's hard work. I know that everythig you knit for that baby was beautiful. I'm sorry they treated you so rudely, and I agree with several others on here. I would not be able to attend any more showers, partys, or have the time to make any more gifts for them. Your time is much better spent making for those that will appreciate and use your beautiful items.


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## glnwhi (Jan 19, 2011)

In Proverbs (I think) it tells us to be nice to those that treat you badly and "it will heap coals of fire on their heads" so go ahead and smile and be nice you will certainly turn up the heat!


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## pattys76 (Apr 7, 2011)

MoMo said:


> PaKnitter,
> I agree that both the mother-to-be and the grandmother were probably raised by wolves... There is no excuse for their rudeness.... BUT... are you going to let their rudeness ruin your outlook? Please don;t! I can tell you from watching people for many years, my own husband is at the head of the list) You are the one who suffers most by remaining angry... they probably haven't even noticed that you are ticked off because they are so absorbed in their own little drama.. So, my advice would be to take a deep breath, hold your head up and smile when they walk by... it will make them feel lower than a snake's belly... and you will have nothing held in your heart that brings you down!!! If you and her boyfriend decide to ever get married and they ask you to the showers, befiore you evenb know the date, just smile sweetly and say "so sorry, I will be busy that day" before you even know what day it is.... they might take a while to get the idea, but it will sink in eventually! MoMo


Please don't insult the wolves! Wolves are very affectionate and loving. If they had been raised by wolves they would have MUCH better manners.

:lol:


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## Sewbizgirl (May 11, 2011)

If I had already been treated rudely at the wedding shower, that would have been it for me. If my next door neighbor expected me to come to her daughter's baby shower, I certainly wouldn't spend my knitting time making anything. I'd drop a package of disposable dipes and wet wipes off with a card at their house, and have some excuse not to attend another awkward shower for her.

Live and learn...


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## pamela Lehmann (Jan 24, 2011)

This leads to one of my pet peeves--what the heck ever happened to thank you notes??? I've been to showers, weddings, funerals, & graduations this year & NO thank you's. I've mostly given money, so I know it not a question of "liking" it. I don't expect a big to-do over my gift, but at least let me know that you got it!


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## pamgillies1 (Aug 6, 2011)

I agree with Eileen. My own children and grandchildren have been taught to say thank you even if they don't like the gift, it can always be recycled later. I think these people are so wrapped up in themselves that they don't even think about other people and how they feel. The gift was given with love and should be received the same way. Don't let this mother and grandmother get to you, rise above it, they are the ones worse off. Find someone who will appreciate your gifts. I knit for a charity in Zimbabwe and they are eternally grateful for any knitted clothing that they can get, unfortunately they prefer non pastel colours but that is fine.


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## bonmouse65 (Jul 23, 2011)

It certainly does show how she was raised. These kinds of stories really get me angry and then sad. I taught my children to take a few moments to not only write a note but to also go by, if possible, to give their thanks in person. You still feel good about what you did - it's on them the way they react. I am sure they are the same way in everything they do and eventually they will see people slowing "moving" away from them. That apple sure didn't fall far from that tree.


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## heathert (Jul 27, 2011)

That is so sad as I'm sure you would have made the garments with enthusiasm and love. If it was me and asked about the matching afghan I would be tempted to say that I didn't think they liked the sweater and hat so I wasn't going to bother.
Make the next one for your local hospital auxillary instead!


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## sbel3555 (Apr 11, 2011)

I would be ticked also, these people are just plain ignorant and you should just accept it at that.
I made a baby Layette for a nephew's new baby and gave it to my sister to give to the mother. I never got so much as a "thank You" note from the mom ---Guess what they will get next time---NOTHING


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## heathert (Jul 27, 2011)

Nice to hear that some children are brought up and not dragged up.


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## Suzyq123 (Jun 15, 2011)

Id be ticked to. 
The length of time y0u've known one another doesn't condone such rudeness.


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## Suzyq123 (Jun 15, 2011)

Id be ticked to. 
The length of time y0u've known one another doesn't condone such rudeness.


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## Lucille103 (Aug 14, 2011)

Hi, i agree with everything every one has said about this. Dont hang onto the anger, i think that people like that live miserable little lives.


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## CamillaDesertMouse (Mar 19, 2011)

Sadly to say ..both were VERY rude.
I know you are an amazing knitter PaKnitter...so that is NO reflection on you..
IF the subject ever comes up again from grandmother..say ..
Ummm No I will not as I have other knitting items for special people that appreciate my hard work but *wink*..I will teach you how to you rude arse bish...lol
Sorry but this upsets me for you PaKnitter.

Hugs and God Bless you for your hard work...VENT away!

Camilla


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## kiwiannie (Jul 30, 2011)

its not what you give but the thought that counts and you put your love in your gift.


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## Marny CA (Jun 26, 2011)

$25 gift card to Target or Wal-Mart would have been my new gift -- and what I made would have been donated - in honor of the new baby.

But the deed is done -- the lesson is learned, I hope.


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## inishowen (May 28, 2011)

PaKnitter said:


> This is a little off topic but I'm still thinking about it so I guess I'm just a little ticked...I knitted a sweater and hat for a baby shower I was invited to. When I rsvp the Grandmother asked me what I planned to buy off the registry and I said nothing as I'm knitting a sweater and hat. She asked if I was knitting a blanket and booties to go with it and I said 'no'. She gave me this look so I said if she wants a matching afghan she can ask me later.
> 
> I did knit two 4" washcloths and bought a Noah's Ark Christmas tree ornament and package of Huggies.
> 
> ...


We don't have baby showers in UK. If you want to knit or buy a gift for a baby you just do it. However you would expect to be thanked from the heart. I'm sure your neighbours have no idea you were offended. On a similar theme, we had a friend come to stay with us for two weeks last year. The second week we were off on holiday so she had the house to herself. When we got home we expected at least a note of thanks, never mind a bunch of flowers, or a bottle of wine. There was nothing and in fact she had pulled the curtains off the rail and just left them on the floor! I did't get a phone call or anything and have barely spoken to her since. However she put on her facebook page that she was coming to stay with us again this year!


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## granjoy (Jun 29, 2011)

I've got really upset for you while I'm reading all these posts....well, actually, I'm angry on your behalf!! How rude to not even thank you for a gift and expect more besides!! Probably just as well the mother to be doesn't talk to you....she won't be able to ask for the matching blanket!! Chin up....and make sure to be unavailable for any future requests. XX


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## Kathleen's daughter (Jul 31, 2011)

Well, that was disobedient of you, wasn't it. It seems you saw the Register of Demands and went your merry way and got a slap in the face for not filling their order. Now you know something about your neighbours and they know something about you, and embarrassment and disappointment all around. I reckon they would've done better to have just left a great big box labelled ANONYMOUS MONETARY DONATIONS in the hallway
:mrgreen:


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## NanaFran (Apr 9, 2011)

I made the Great American Aran Afghan for a relative's wedding, with a personalized square with the bride and groom's initials and the wedding date, and have yet to receive even an acknowledgement for it, let alone a "thank you," and that wedding was over four years ago. She didn't send out ANY thank you cards for her wedding gifts. How rude! And it took me almost two years to make that beautiful afghan! My own grandkids wear the sweaters I make for them (and socks, and hats, and mittens) all the time. At least THEY appreciate hand-knit things!


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## Janet.Sar (Jun 29, 2011)

I had a similar problem when presented with a 'wedding list' from which I was supposed to order a gift for a friend's daughter's wedding, all of which were way above what I was prepared to pay.
So I purchased the gift I wanted to give (which was not on the list). I was the only person who didn't get a thank-you note! :roll:


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## ladolcevida (Aug 23, 2011)

Pa Knitter, if the dunderheads do ask you for the blanket,tell them that you could see they weren't happy with the previous gift and you wouldn't dream of burdening them with more of the same.

I have a slightly different problem but just as annoying. I am disabled and om a limited income so I can't afford a lot of things, apparently one them is family, they leave me out of most things except those involving gifts. When they do invite me it's to a b'day, shower or wedding or other gifting occasion. I am a very good crocheter, an excellent knitter, but what I am really great at is needlework. I do very intricate pictures on linen. When I do finally get an invite it inevitably comes with,"you don't have to buy anything, just make something".

Like a dope I would go all out and create something beautiful that gets lots of oohs and ahhs, so after making something that took about 100+ hrs of work do you think that they would at least invite me over for coffee so I could see where they put my artwork. I finally got tired of being taken advantage of and now instituted a new policy, if you haven't invited me to your home to at least one non-gifting day in the last year, your getting store bought and thats only if I do show up.


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## knittingsue (May 31, 2011)

Many years ago when a " friend " of mine was having a baby I knitted a blanket, coat, bonnet, bootees and mitts ( it was for a winter baby ). I made them all in white baby wool with a pretty pattern on them. I never got a thank you for them but what hurt me most was that a few weeks later I saw the full set in the local charity shop. I went round to see my friend and asked her about them and she said " i gave them to the charity shop as i did not like the pattern on them nor did I like it as they were all white" I was really upset over this and I told her that I have always knitted in white for a new baby and no one but her have ever turned there nose up at it. My "friend " still lives across the road from me but she never talks to me if she see me in the street. Since then I have knitted dozens of the same set for other people and I always get a BIG thank you from them. Dont let one rude person put you off from knitting for others.


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## maidinkent (Jul 17, 2011)

I really feel for you, how hurtful and rude some people can be. Turn the other cheek, and rise above it. As another reader said, we don't have baby showers in the u.k. but usually prefer to give a gift after the baby is safely delivered. (Does that make us pessimistic I wonder? lols) These gifts are much appreciated, and no-one is taken for granted. Please don't let this unhappy episode change your loving nature. Keep smiling, and God Bless


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## joannem602 (Feb 7, 2011)

MoMo said:


> PaKnitter,
> I agree that both the mother-to-be and the grandmother were probably raised by wolves... There is no excuse for their rudeness.... BUT... are you going to let their rudeness ruin your outlook? Please don;t! I can tell you from watching people for many years, my own husband is at the head of the list) You are the one who suffers most by remaining angry... they probably haven't even noticed that you are ticked off because they are so absorbed in their own little drama.. So, my advice would be to take a deep breath, hold your head up and smile when they walk by... it will make them feel lower than a snake's belly... and you will have nothing held in your heart that brings you down!!! If you and her boyfriend decide to ever get married and they ask you to the showers, befiore you evenb know the date, just smile sweetly and say "so sorry, I will be busy that day" before you even know what day it is.... they might take a while to get the idea, but it will sink in eventually! MoMo


I agree. Smile, stay friendly, but firmly and promptly decline any subsequent "gift-oriented" occasions. Do not be surprised, though, to discover that they will expect a gift from you, from the registry, even if you don't attend. 
From the sounds of it, the mother will probably tell you so in no uncertain terms.


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## flhusker (Feb 17, 2011)

This is one of the reasons I hate registries either for baby or wedding or whatever. Yes I know the purpose is so the bride or new mother does not get bunches of one thing and nothing of something else but you know. I give what I can afford to give and why do they need to know before the event what they are getting. Why have a party just asks for gifts?


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## Marny CA (Jun 26, 2011)

For a very special couple who did an amazing favor for my husband and me when he was dying ... I wanted to give them something extra special.

When looking at their Registry, I saw they wanted a very expensive bed sheet ensemble.

The look on her face and her comments upon opening the gift was worth every penny spent. (It was also sort of fun to know that others knew the cost and that coming from me, after my husband's passing, was Love)

Or whatever. Must say that I was never sorry.


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## dfarrell23 (Apr 17, 2011)

Manners are taught. Or not. This family demonstrated that they have very few. I guess it is a lesson learned on what you can expect from them, and avoid further disappointment. For what it is worth, I am sorry you were hurt!


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## cd4player (Jul 29, 2011)

How sad for you, PaKnitter ... 

For many years we lived away from both our families, so b'day and Christmas gifts were sent to my children by mail. I made a list of what each child received and from whom, then during the week off from school I had them write thank-you notes. 

Now that we're close enough to exchange gifts in person, they give a heartfelt hug and thank-you to the giver in person. But I still encourage notes ... 

I always wonder if my hand-made gift will be appreciated, but I've never been disappointed with the responses I've gotten. I guess it all depends on the recipient - and I must be blessed with appreciative friends and family!

Keep doing what you're doing, because for every one of *those* kinds of people there are 10 more who appreciate what you do. Charity knitting is especially gratifying, even if you don't get the thank-you's in writing. The fact that people need what you make is great (I do prayer shawls).


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## cimiron (Feb 2, 2011)

it is so sad that people of today are often rude, I would much prefer things that people made for me then anything they could buy


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## groovienan (Aug 15, 2011)

ditto ditto....it is a gift


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## Araciel (Apr 2, 2011)

I do firmly believe that education begins at home, I had neighbors like that, and got to the point were I told the mother how many hours I worked on the piece and she just stood there looking like sooooo?
I her, don't ask, don't invite me to any of your festivities. 
People like that think that I call " insignificant worms" and through the years I came across few of them .
You are better then them, hold your head up high and smile when they're see you. They be wondering what's going on, will make then jealous that you're having a wonderful day and they are so misserable.


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## cimiron (Feb 2, 2011)

lol that is truly funny, but I agree


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## evesch (Apr 3, 2011)

PaKnitter said:


> This is a little off topic but I'm still thinking about it so I guess I'm just a little ticked...I knitted a sweater and hat for a baby shower I was invited to. When I rsvp the Grandmother asked me what I planned to buy off the registry and I said nothing as I'm knitting a sweater and hat. She asked if I was knitting a blanket and booties to go with it and I said 'no'. She gave me this look so I said if she wants a matching afghan she can ask me later.
> 
> I did knit two 4" washcloths and bought a Noah's Ark Christmas tree ornament and package of Huggies.
> 
> ...


I am seeing this as a major problem with the Grandmother being wayyyy too controling of the daughter. Geez who is going to end up raising that coming baby???


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## Bundyjoy (Apr 20, 2011)

Dear PaKnitter,
I totally agree with everyone's posts with regard to your unfortunate experience. You can hold you head high and know you made lovely gifts which took time and effort. It is much easier to go to a store and buy something so you should feel proud of your efforts. I also agree that you shouldn't let this type of people unsettle you - I guess the best thing to do is forgive their dreadful manners and try not to think about it. I'm a firm believer, and I've learnt from experience, that mulling over people who hurt us won't do us any good as they probably don't even know what they've done. Keep up your good work for others. Joy


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## ulrika (Jul 2, 2011)

Young people can be so rude. I'm surprised at the grandmother though. Probably right, they were raised by wolves. But don't let that ruin your day. You know what you did came from the heart. They are the losers in this situation.

I think young people these days have little or no social skills because they spend so much time on their phones texting each other that they don't know how to speak to each other or anyone for that matter. Not that we here have a problem. lol

My hubby works at golf course and he says the younger ones don't even say Hi when they pass you by or even when spoken to. They avoid eye contact. It's a sad commentary on today's younger generation.


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## Dowager (Jun 7, 2011)

I have to give my daughter credit. She is teaching her kids manners! When she comes to pick me up to go places with her, her boys jump out of the car and open the door for me and practically stand at attention. In contrast, last winter when I broke my leg and was on a cast, a walker, then a cane, I had people honk at me in Wal-Mart parking lot because I couldn't get out of their way faster, and run to get ahead of me, almost pushing me aside, so they could grab the last available motorized cart! And these were adults, not kids!


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## Judyjz (Jun 6, 2011)

Wow, you got a response on this one. I have a friend that had the same thing happen to her. I, also, feel my daughter-in-law doesn't appreciate the things I make for my granddaughters. I think, unless you knit or crochet, one has no appreciation for the work & love that goes into it. That is why I like to knit for charity.


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## LBush1144 (Jan 23, 2011)

I am working on a baby gift for October. I hope that I am not asked if I am buying from the gift registry because I look at this as a gift that I want to give -- not an order that I must fill!


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## grandmatimestwo (Mar 30, 2011)

Sounds to me like the daughter learned her manners, or lack thereof, from her mother!


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## SueJoyceTn (Aug 9, 2011)

I try to always remember that "apples don't fall far from the tree". That said, people who don't "craft" have no idea of the cost involved in the supplies needed for an item be it thread, material, yarn, needles, patterns, etc or the time and love involved in creating a gift given from the heart. 
So, take it for what it's worth and don't let it change who you are. You need to do what you feel you should do and not let their "problem" dictate your heart. There are many people that DO appreciate gifts given from the heart and hands of the people that are in their lives.


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## donnie (Jan 25, 2011)

Hey, giving a gift is a joy, no matter how rude the person receiving is. Don't let those rude, rude, rude people steal your joy. Just know that the next baby will not be so lucky to receive a gift from your side of the street! A gift given from the heart is a bounty and unfortunately, they have been taught rudeness from the best (the grandmother). Sorry for your experience.


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## fibrefriend (May 27, 2011)

I made my next-door-neighbour a quilt for her first born. She was blown away! She had no expectations that anyone would make anything for her baby. In response, she gave me her great-grandma's stash when gg went into full time care. Now I can knit jumpers (Australian sweaters) to my heart's content for all future babies. Isn't this what it's all about?


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## Augustgran (Apr 16, 2011)

how rude!!!!~ so people in fact ALOT of people have no idea how much work knitting a project can be so sorry for the way you are being treated


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## bevqual (May 9, 2011)

PaKnitter said:


> This is a little off topic but I'm still thinking about it so I guess I'm just a little ticked...I knitted a sweater and hat for a baby shower I was invited to. When I rsvp the Grandmother asked me what I planned to buy off the registry and I said nothing as I'm knitting a sweater and hat. She asked if I was knitting a blanket and booties to go with it and I said 'no'. She gave me this look so I said if she wants a matching afghan she can ask me later.
> 
> I did knit two 4" washcloths and bought a Noah's Ark Christmas tree ornament and package of Huggies.
> 
> ...


How about next time grandma asks about the blanket etc, let her know the cost for you to make one, and include your time... or tell her they have some lovely ones at walmart down the street!


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## fireflywithyarn (Jun 2, 2011)

Hey - - don't pick on wolves. They would be more polite and kind than this mother-to-be and grandmother. I really can't think of any furry creature that doesn't appreciate kindness. You did a kind and thoughtful deed. Good job!


MoMo said:


> PaKnitter,
> I agree that both the mother-to-be and the grandmother were probably raised by wolves... There is no excuse for their rudeness.... BUT... are you going to let their rudeness ruin your outlook? Please don;t! I can tell you from watching people for many years, my own husband is at the head of the list) You are the one who suffers most by remaining angry... they probably haven't even noticed that you are ticked off because they are so absorbed in their own little drama.. So, my advice would be to take a deep breath, hold your head up and smile when they walk by... it will make them feel lower than a snake's belly... and you will have nothing held in your heart that brings you down!!! If you and her boyfriend decide to ever get married and they ask you to the showers, befiore you evenb know the date, just smile sweetly and say "so sorry, I will be busy that day" before you even know what day it is.... they might take a while to get the idea, but it will sink in eventually! MoMo


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## BTRFLY (Mar 2, 2011)

I guess a registry is good so the parents to be can choose what they need, but why does everything have to be so regimented and scheduled. It sounds like this is what I want not what you'd like to give. I am invited to a baby shower as well, and I made an adorable sweater with a matching bonnet. I ended up buying something off the registry to give along with my handknit gift. I have come to realize not everyone appreciates all the time and effort that goes into handknitting a gift. Good luck I hope your post inspires people to rember to say a verbal thankyou as well as a written one :thumbup:


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## MoMo (Apr 28, 2011)

My apologies to the wolves!!! I know by personal experience that the animal kingdom has its share of wonderful parents... most natably.... get this... squirrels! They are fabulous parents. and not knowing much about wolves, I just used my mothers' euphemism."raised by wolves". Maybe I should ahv said something else!!! MoMo


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## cathy47 (Jun 6, 2011)

It is very rude for the not acknowledgement of the gifts. As for the asking about a blanket well I see it as a need. So I wo uldn't take that as an insualt. But I do understand I have madeup so much and given it to family memebers even those of us that don't have money and never one time a thank you or kiss my *****. So come next time around like Christmas I will make a sock and put a lump of charcoal in it. See if they get the point then. So now I take and things I would have given to the ungrateful goes to charity at least I know its appreciated not expected. It really does hurt.


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## BTRFLY (Mar 2, 2011)

ditto to your comments Edith. I have learned the hard way too. I gave a handknit Irish knit baby sweater to my nieces boyfriends baby (not her baby) and I did not even get a "thanks for the gift" let alone whether or not it fit. I had to call my sister to see if she got it and I gave it to my sister to give to her. This all sounds really confusing, but bottom line no thank you what so ever verbal or written. How rude!


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## margel (Aug 29, 2011)

I knit for pleasure, what I want to knit and for whom. When asked to knit a sweater, afghan, etc., I estimate the hours it would take. At a minimum price of $10. for 100 hours, I would have to charge $1,000. The subject is quickly changed.


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## Karen K Turner (May 17, 2011)

I think the mother to be can't say hi because she was embaressed by her mother's rudeness.


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## Florida Faye (Aug 12, 2011)

My mom used to say,"You can'[t make a silk purse out of a sow's ear." Some people have no appreciation of the time it takes to make a handmade gift. Remember that when you knitted those items that they were for a baby that knows nothing of mom or grandma's rude and boarish behavior.


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## hippie435 (Jul 26, 2011)

Remember, ladies and gentlemen, an old Chinese saying, "He who expects no gratitude shall never be disappointed". It doesn't make the hurt go away, but it does soften the blow just a bit~been there done that!


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## Lo'L (Jan 21, 2011)

grandma to be was rude, rude rude! a hand knit gift is a gift from the heart! shame on them both


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## knittingpagan (Aug 15, 2011)

i'm so sorry that someone close in age to me was so rude. unfortunatly you know where she learned it from since her mother seemed as interested in only what the family was getting then having friends and family there to celebrate a new arrival. i have three children and i am 35 yrs old my oldest is 11. i have recieved handmade items for all 3 and still hold on to them when everything else gets sent to charity as it was out grown. those women are selfish and rude and you are better then them. decline anymore invitations and be your pleasent charming self if you meet on the street.


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## cathy47 (Jun 6, 2011)

Dar19Knits said:


> A gift should be just that ... A gift, not an "order." You can hold your head high as you gave from the heart. Why is it the younger generation has a problem with a proper "thank you."


never taught respect, never taught good manners. We were taught good manners from our families, extened families, and news papers that printed such items. Have you seen anything on tv that addresses such manners of late? NO. The young are nothing but animals with no training of any kind.


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## cathy47 (Jun 6, 2011)

Florida Faye said:


> My mom used to say,"You can'[t make a silk purse out of a sow's ear." Some people have no appreciation of the time it takes to make a handmade gift. Remember that when you knitted those items that they were for a baby that knows nothing of mom or grandma's rude and boarish behavior.


...but guess what that baby will learn :-(


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## Deanne (Jul 21, 2011)

I had the same experience with a grandson. Hadn't seen him for a year and a half but they were at a family reunion so I bought a few items for the baby due in December and knit a baby blanket and two sweather sets. They didn't open them at the get together just put the package in the car and I haven't heard from them since. Really ticked me off but it will cut down on my knitting cause I won't do any more for them.


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## cathy47 (Jun 6, 2011)

Janet.Sar said:


> I had a similar problem when presented with a 'wedding list' from which I was supposed to order a gift for a friend's daughter's wedding, all of which were way above what I was prepared to pay.
> So I purchased the gift I wanted to give (which was not on the list). I was the only person who didn't get a thank-you note! :roll:


Well if thats the name of the game you MUST buy what they want no matter the cost they can just drop dead. I won't waist my time. I think that is so crude of them to make a list cause not all can afford that money.


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## Niki-knitter (Jan 28, 2011)

Well after reading all these remarks & agreeing with most, all I can say is "gee, why would anyone appreciate a handmade gift made w love when they could have something picked up at the local Walmart?"
This young generation doesn't have a clue!
Joan from Wayne, Pa


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## melody1256 (Jul 26, 2011)

It's amazing how some people are, but what you did was very thoughtful and remember that it is for the baby.


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## Juleen (Jun 3, 2011)

You knitted with love--if she doesn't appreciate that, it's her loss! Love is never wasted but I'd sure share my knitting love with someone else from now on!


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## Dory (May 4, 2011)

I think this is absolutely awful! To think the time and effort that went into this blanket and she sold it for $1! Some people just don't realize how precious hand knit items are. That would be the last time for me to knit her anything! So sorry about this.


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## rose haft (Jul 30, 2011)

When did 'gifting' become "ordering?" So greedy of the both of them.


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## joanh8060 (Apr 22, 2011)

Both grandmother and mother-to be give new meaning to the common complaint about the next generation. they feel so "entitled". Gracious gift acceptance 101 would be an appropriate gift! 
Stores, corporate big box and small local with their Gift Registry marketing schemes have just played inot this. I loke beinginvited to such occasions, but being told how much to spend is just so lacking in couth!
Joan 8060


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## julietremain (Jul 8, 2011)

Every response has been right on target.....these people are NOT your friends..friends do not behave like this...remember that a gift is what a person wishes to give..you were very generous..everyone should be lucky enough to receive a hand knit gift!
julie


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## Andrea in TN (Aug 17, 2011)

I agree the Grandmother should be ashamed for setting such a poor example. No parenting? Can't expect much from kids who were never home trained to start with!!!


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## jpAL2011 (Aug 19, 2011)

That is terrible! They sound like rude people. Just be proud of the work you did and that you shared it with them in spite of their behavior. People who don't do needlework or other kinds of crafts don't appreciate the time, talent and effort that goes into making something.


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## Nicholas81 (Feb 17, 2011)

PaKnitter said:


> This is a little off topic but I'm still thinking about it so I guess I'm just a little ticked...I knitted a sweater and hat for a baby shower I was invited to. When I rsvp the Grandmother asked me what I planned to buy off the registry and I said nothing as I'm knitting a sweater and hat. She asked if I was knitting a blanket and booties to go with it and I said 'no'. She gave me this look so I said if she wants a matching afghan she can ask me later.
> 
> I did knit two 4" washcloths and bought a Noah's Ark Christmas tree ornament and package of Huggies.
> 
> ...


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## Dory (May 4, 2011)

I am so sorry that you were treated this way. But like others have posted, this younger generations don't seem to know the magic works of 'please' and 'thank you'. I made sweaters for my 4 grandchildren for Christmas last year and I don't think they were appreciated. The mother has never said if they fit or if they even wear them. I thought of making them sweaters again this year but have completely changed my mind. I can put that time into making things for my daughter and her 'new' little girl. My husbands daughter's husband is in the military so they don't live close to us at all. When they were first stationed at Ft. Campbell, my husband decided that we were going to send them a package every week so that they don't forget grandma and grandpa. Well, it's been 5 years that we have been doing this. Do you think their mother would comment on the items sent, or even if the kids enjoyed the items. Most of the items are from the Dollar Store but it takes time to shop, wrap, and mail this package each week. We started out with just 2 grandchildren but are up to 4 now. When her step-daughter visits for the summer, we have to include her also. Believe me, if they don't get a package they are on the phone letting us know that they didn't receive the package or why didn't we send one.The youngest granddaughter's birthday was yesterday and we had sent her a gift, do you think the mother would have called and at least said 'thanks'! This is very frustrating. To top it off, when we send a birthday gift for the child, we also include some little thing for the other kids in the family. CRAZY! But my husband will not stop sending the packages. Sorry for going on and on, but I too needed to vent. I guess we just keep doing what we are doing and hopefully in the future, the work 'THANKS' will be taught to the younger generation.


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## dijewe (Mar 1, 2011)

The whole entitlement thing along with gift registries drives me nuts. I actually knew someone who would have a registry for their kid's birthday party LOL I never bought anything off the registry and probably spent way less than anyone who did. I knew the mother would stockpile most these gifts and re-gift many things - I never figured out her MO as I have declined invites for a few years now.


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## lovethelake (Apr 6, 2011)

Wow

I fear we all have had those types of moments. I am very gun shy about knitting something for someone unless they really know how much love was put into making it.

But when someone does appreciate our love, it is worth every moment and every stitch.


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## bluejay (Jul 29, 2011)

How rude! Anyone can buy a gift off a registry. What can you say about people who don't value the time, work and thought of a beautiful handmade gift. And then they apparently decide you didn't give them enough! Just ignorant, rude and classless. Maybe I'd expect it from the mom-to-be, since it seems so many these days think everyone owes them, but from mom, grandmom? I'm so sorry your gift was not appreciated. There are many who would love such a thoughtful gift.


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## gsbyrge (Jul 12, 2011)

I agree - courtesy is not being passed on to the next generatons. I remember a scolding I got for not getting thank you notes out for graduation gifts (50 years ago! how'd that happen?)
When my kids were little, they treasured the handmade things I gave them - but my grandkids? I don't even get acknowledgement that things were received, and the things I made for my greatgrandsons were never acknowledged either. So now when I make something for kids, I put it away for future use - if nothing else, one day I'll take them to the local farmer's/craft market and sell them, or give them to charity or something. It's hurtful to put in so much time and love on something and have it dismissed because it doesn't have a designer label - or whatever the reason. Heh heh - in about 50 years those ingrates will regret not having these treasures, when handmade is once again in vogue - and on Antiques Roadshow! :- )


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## sam07671 (May 12, 2011)

PaKnitter said:


> This is a little off topic but I'm still thinking about it so I guess I'm just a little ticked...I knitted a sweater and hat for a baby shower I was invited to. When I rsvp the Grandmother asked me what I planned to buy off the registry and I said nothing as I'm knitting a sweater and hat. She asked if I was knitting a blanket and booties to go with it and I said 'no'. She gave me this look so I said if she wants a matching afghan she can ask me later.
> 
> I did knit two 4" washcloths and bought a Noah's Ark Christmas tree ornament and package of Huggies.
> 
> ...


OMGOSH!!!!!!!!!!! Are you talking about my daughters Ex-Mother in law? That woman takes over everything. She took over their wedding and pushed me away even though she married off her own daughter. My daughter and Son in law wanted a small "Country Hodown" and this woman wanted a big wedding. What started out as a small quaint back yard wedding ended up a huge 200 people wedding and she paid for it. All to make her look good. She was soppose to make my dress for the weddding and never got to it. When I asked 4 weeks for the material and alll because I ahd someone to make it for me she purposely cut it out the night before she brought it to me 2 sizes smaller. Coulden't do anything with it. I had to go hunt down a dress for the wedding. She pushed me out of everything encluding the fitting room with my daughter trying on dresses. I finally put my foot down and told her this is my only daughter and I want to have these memories with my daughter.

When my grandaughter was born she treated her as her baby and pushed me out of everything with her also. Told me what to do with her when I got her and said do not listen to what my daughter told her. Now my daughter is pregnant with another baby but it isen't her sons as they are divorced she is already saying that she is ready for another Grandchild. She is already making plans for this baby. The father of this baby talks to me about his concerns and so ahs my daughter. I told her that she can put her foot down with this one and needs to let her know that she is not the grandma of this one. She and I split the watching the kids between us with our work schedules and I am trying to figure out how we are going to get around this one. She diffently is a problem and everything revolves around what makes her look good.

I would say that with what you described thie girl is probably embarrassed by thi womans actions and just does not know how to handle it. Maybe take her aside and have a little talk privately about this and I am sure that things will be resolved.


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## pb54116 (Jun 27, 2011)

I sent handmade baby afghans to one of my nephews and his wife when each of their first two children was born, with no acknowledgement. They just had their third child - I don't feel guilty in the least for not sending them anything.


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## SuesArmoire (Aug 3, 2011)

I agree both the mom-to-be and the grandmother were extremely rude. They all need our prayers and especially the baby who is being born into this type of environment.


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## Edith M (Aug 10, 2011)

Dory said:


> I am so sorry that you were treated this way. But like others have posted, this younger generations don't seem to know the magic works of 'please' and 'thank you'. I made sweaters for my 4 grandchildren for Christmas last year and I don't think they were appreciated. The mother has never said if they fit or if they even wear them. I thought of making them sweaters again this year but have completely changed my mind. I can put that time into making things for my daughter and her 'new' little girl. My husbands daughter's husband is in the military so they don't live close to us at all. When they were first stationed at Ft. Campbell, my husband decided that we were going to send them a package every week so that they don't forget grandma and grandpa. Well, it's been 5 years that we have been doing this. Do you think their mother would comment on the items sent, or even if the kids enjoyed the items. Most of the items are from the Dollar Store but it takes time to shop, wrap, and mail this package each week. We started out with just 2 grandchildren but are up to 4 now. When her step-daughter visits for the summer, we have to include her also. Believe me, if they don't get a package they are on the phone letting us know that they didn't receive the package or why didn't we send one.The youngest granddaughter's birthday was yesterday and we had sent her a gift, do you think the mother would have called and at least said 'thanks'! This is very frustrating. To top it off, when we send a birthday gift for the child, we also include some little thing for the other kids in the family. CRAZY! But my husband will not stop sending the packages. Sorry for going on and on, but I too needed to vent. I guess we just keep doing what we are doing and hopefully in the future, the work 'THANKS' will be taught to the younger generation.


You have my prayers. I know the feeling.


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## 12773 (Mar 21, 2011)

I understand your anger. My GDIL literally sends out lists "suggsting" gifts for their children for Christmas. I'm suprised she doesn't buy the herself and then bill us include shipping and handling charges of course. I don't think the kids know the words "thank you" or "please". Maybe it's just the times are not as polite as they used to be. Since I live far away and don't see them much, I ignore the whole things. The family is fairly affluent and need for nothing so I send a card and that's it. BUT it still hurts. I would love to make them stocking caps, scarves, even blankets but the stuff would probably wind up in the dog house.
Thanks for the vent - if gave me a chance to do mine.


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## Edith M (Aug 10, 2011)

gsbyrge said:


> I agree - courtesy is not being passed on to the next generatons. I remember a scolding I got for not getting thank you notes out for graduation gifts (50 years ago! how'd that happen?)
> When my kids were little, they treasured the handmade things I gave them - but my grandkids? I don't even get acknowledgement that things were received, and the things I made for my greatgrandsons were never acknowledged either. So now when I make something for kids, I put it away for future use - if nothing else, one day I'll take them to the local farmer's/craft market and sell them, or give them to charity or something. It's hurtful to put in so much time and love on something and have it dismissed because it doesn't have a designer label - or whatever the reason. Heh heh - in about 50 years those ingrates will regret not having these treasures, when handmade is once again in vogue - and on Antiques Roadshow! :- )


Here's a suggestion for those toys; contact your local police station to see if they would like a few to give to children in a crisis situation. I have done that with Teddy Bears I have dressed. Edith


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## ann neal (Jul 5, 2011)

EileenED said:


> I am lucky as when I knit my grandchildren anything they are so greatfull and have asked will I still do them items when they go uni very soon, depends how children are raised I guess


I agree with you there. I have knitted layettes for 6 of my SiL's grand children this year and received 'Thank You' cards from each one. It shows the gifts were appreciated.


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## bizzyknitter (May 10, 2011)

Please don't insult the wolves! Wolves are very affectionate and loving. If they had been raised by wolves they would have MUCH better manners.

:lol:[/quote]

:thumbup:

I am so sorry this happened to you. I know just how you feel I've been there. I had a friend ( notice I said Had) who's son was getting married and all along they knew he was going to break it off. They waited until the day after the wedding shower ..after all the gifts were bought to break it off. This is a person who would call you and tell you what to buy...I can just imagine what they would say if I made something.

Don't let people like them stop you from being who you are. You are a very kind person.


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## elainjoyce (Mar 3, 2011)

Been there so now I save my knitted things for those who ask. Then I'm not upset when they are not appreciated. But, Shame on them for being so ungrateful. When my Grand Daughter was on her way in 2010 she got some things on the registry and some home made things also, my Daughter-in-law was very gracious and appreciative of all. But then after I gave her the money to go buy what was on the list she needed. That was when I had some money in savings, it's a different story now. So that's what that Grandmother should do also.


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## hobbydiva (Jan 31, 2011)

We have three children and I received newly made afghans from my mother for #1 son, a couple, #2 son, 2 afghans and #3 daughter, around 6 BUT none of the ends where finished. I had to weave in all the joins. Did I mind? No! My children are mega older now (18, 16 and 12) those afghans are put up for them (except for one afghan, my daughter uses that for her doll) and I am adding to them. When they become parents (hopefully not in the near future), they will have a lineage of love.

On the other hand, my friend views homemade stuff as "cheap" (about the only thing I disagree with her over) and therefore I know to buy her gifts versus make them. I can't imagine why the grandmother "needed" to know ahead of time what the gift was, that's plenty weird, but now you know where you stand with them and you can and should move on with your life. You did good, they, not so much.


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## noni (Apr 12, 2011)

Good morning! I don't understand this behavior at all! I am an avid knitter and always knit for new babies related or not.! There are some that really don't appreciate the time that goes into creating something special and a keepsake for the baby. My children are not too bad but do prefer the store bought items. On the other hand my grandaughter who just informed us we are going to be great grandparents in early spring and she has asked if I would make the christening gown. So happy. Have a great day everyone!!


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## Towanda (Apr 17, 2011)

I disagree that 'young people' today don't know how to say thank you. I am 59 and my mother never said thank you to a living soul and never taught her children how to say thank you, either orally or by hand written note. I had to learn on my own how important it is by any means to say thank you. The good news is that most people are well mannered enough to say thanks. I offer the responces made here as proof. So what does this tell us? Everybody should become a knitter or crochter, they are very gracious people.


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## Knitting Cruiser (Mar 19, 2011)

Edith M said:


> That is the main reason I knit and crochet mostly for charity. My grand/great grandchildren have not learned to say thank you or even acknowlege the reciept of gifts I have labored over and then had to pay postage on. I have had to call them to inquire if the package arrived and the response is usually," Oh yes it came last week." I refuse to humiliate myself further by asking if the liked it. I love them all but that treatment really hurts.


I had a similar problem with my son and his wife. I had made a gift for them and sent it. Never heard a word that it was received, that they liked it, etc. Two or three weeks later I was talking to my son and I said "Oh, I could just kick myself, I didn't insure that package I mailed". He said "what package, Mom?". When I told him, he replied that they had indeed received it a couple of weeks prior. In a very frosty tone I replied "Oh, really? Since I hadn't heard, I assumed it had gotten lost in the mail".

Since then they have been much better about acknowledging things I send!!!!


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## Donna57 (Jul 27, 2011)

My pet peeve is very similar. I understand people don't want to have gifts duplicated but it is totally unacceptable to tell the new mom (or wife) what she is getting. 
Another big peeve is not saying thank you. I was knitting a gorgeous baby sweater set for my neice's new baby. Before I completed it she had her baby early, a tiny preemie, so I put away the bigger sweater and quickly knit a preemie outfit for her, then finished the bigger one and mailed both to her. After 3 weeks, I finally asked her (on Facebook) if she had receved my parcel. All I got was a yes. No thank you, no call nor a thank you card. What is with the young people of today!!!!!


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## anneevamod (Apr 16, 2011)

This doesn't surprise me. The youth of today are incredibly spoiled. If you don't buy off the registry they are insulted. I am so sorry this happened to you Rude, just rude and shame on them. I don't think a lot of people realisze the time and effort that go into 'gifts from the heart' I have been invited to some weddings, baby showers etc that actually have tuition donations for the child and camping gear etc for the weddings. Unbelievable.


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## Trouble (Mar 30, 2011)

I had a similar experience with Rady Children's hospital in San Diego. After working a month every day for at least 6 hours a day I had made 24 hats of various sizes. I packaged them all up in plastic bags with a slip of paper in each one saying what they were made of and if they were washable or not. I sent them off with a self-addressed envelope saying "I (name) acknowledge receipt of 24 hats to be used as the hospital sees fit." After 3 weeks of waiting I received the paper back with a scribbled signature. Not a written word of "Thanks" not even a stamp of Thanks nothing. I was so disappointed. I didn't expect a note or a long letter just a simple word "Thanks" for someone who sent their first ever charity hats to a hospital in hope that they would find a good home. Needless to say they will not be getting any more of my hats. I'm sending them to Minnesota to the hospital where my sister works.


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## itzzbarb (May 21, 2011)

Think of how that poor baby is going to be raised!! It won't have any manners for sure, because the mother has none, neither does the rest of the family! I am seeing the trend for no "thank yous" more and more and find that totally unacceptable and rude. grrrr


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## Hilda (Apr 23, 2011)

I solved my problem with no acknowledgement for grandsons' gifts. I sent my son an email stating that in the future I would put the money I would have spent on the gift in a bank account in my and their names. Then when I die they will get the money. They don't have to call. I'll even accept an email. I now get thank you calls!! No bad kids- just bad parents!


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## jpAL2011 (Aug 19, 2011)

There are numerous charitable organizations we can knit for. I imagine children in third world countries appreciate having something warm to wear or people undergoing chemo having a soft, nice cap to wear, etc. If you would like to have more information on any of the organizations I will be glad to provide it.


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## Homeshppr (Feb 28, 2011)

What a sad event this shower must have been! Baby showers are meant to be happy, fun occasions full of laughs, surprises and JOY!!! 

What stands out to me here is that your gift was from your heart and created with love by your own hands. You should feel great that this baby will be warmed by your efforts. 

"Shame on you" to the family who turned this into just a gathering of necessary items and insisted on knowing in advance what everyone would give!! It's sad that there was no joy in receiving and inexcuseable that there was no appreciation shown to the guests for their thoughtful gifts.


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## Trouble (Mar 30, 2011)

fireflywithyarn said:


> Hey - - don't pick on wolves. They would be more polite and kind than this mother-to-be and grandmother. I really can't think of any furry creature that doesn't appreciate kindness. You did a kind and thoughtful deed. Good job!
> 
> 
> MoMo said:
> ...


I don't think hyenas are particularly thankful!


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## soc (Apr 21, 2011)

I have had to go to a number of baby showers because I know the grandparents. I knit a coccoon, and each of mu daughters knits or crochets something to go with it...a hat, washcloths, baby blanket...Not once has a mother-to-be ever thanked us, or even showed us the child in it or using anything. We are treated to dozens of pictures of the child on facebook or group e-mails happily sent by the grandparents or some even "friend" us through their parents. We even make a tiny hat, mittens, socks, and romper for an extreme preemie (the size of a beanie baby) so that the parents could photograph the baby in "real" clothes in case it died. Not a single thanks, picture, and the child is now 7 or 8 and we have not even been introduced to her even though grandma lives across the street. Go figure. I don't want my girls to get jaded or soured, but lately, I have just started gifting a large warehouse sized box of baby wipes and tell the girls that the family needs the wipes for financial reasons.


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## ter (Aug 29, 2011)

When I first learned to knit, I made my grandmother some slippers in her favorite color of red and stitched them together in green. I didn't know the finite details of binding other than the whip stitch. She seem really pleased to get these slippers and when she put them on her feet all she did was laugh and laugh and laugh. She laughed until she cried and my grandfather had to come into the room and ask if she was okay. She said that all she could see when she looked at her feet was a little red school house (because of coures the toes came up into a point like elve slippers). Maybe she only wore them once or twice and then threw them into the washing machine and I never saw them again and her response wasn't all I hoped it would be but its a nice memory of my grandmother who had a really good sense of humor.


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## glassgoddess (Feb 21, 2011)

My neighbor did a similar thing. I had to work the day of the shower so I hand carried the gift over. Gave me regrets on the front stoop. Never a thank you from the grandmother or either parent when I've seen them. It's amazing that you can give 10 to 12 hours of your SKILLED time, maybe more, making an heirloom quality gift and they want to know if you'll make a blanket to match.

Manners are missing today, but just as much, if not more with adults. At a craft show I always say hello, but it's the adults that don't even acknowledge your greeting (while they are pawing through my things)

When I hold the door for someone and they don't say thank you, and cheerfully say "You're welcome!" as they go through.


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## joand (Aug 28, 2011)

Horrible! Shake it off and continuing knitting for the nice people in your life. I always think if the intended recipient is "knit-worthy" or not before deciding to put a lot of work into a gift. Most new moms are so appreciative of a hand made gift for their baby -- this woman sounds like a spoiled brat!

:roll:


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## dogorman53 (May 7, 2011)

Sounds like Gramzilla to me!


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## TeriK (May 24, 2011)

That's sad...what doesn't she get about the definition of "gift"?


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## Juleen (Jun 3, 2011)

LOL, I think some people are just born rude! Off topic here but a few years ago I told my SIL that during the summer (I'm a teacher) perhaps we could get together and go to lunch one day. (She does not work). She looked me right in the eye and said, "I live on a different social economic level than you do and I wouldn't be seen with you!". Message came through loud and clear! I went outside and put my feet in the pool where everyone else was having fun. When dear hubby came up and said, "Hey, I thought you were helping make dinner", I told him if I opened my mouth it wouldn't be pretty!!!!! Needless, to say, she will never get a knitted item from me! See how cleverly I returned this to topic after venting my frustration? :O)


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## sam07671 (May 12, 2011)

glassgoddess said:


> My neighbor did a similar thing. I had to work the day of the shower so I hand carried the gift over. Gave me regrets on the front stoop. Never a thank you from the grandmother or either parent when I've seen them. It's amazing that you can give 10 to 12 hours of your SKILLED time, maybe more, making an heirloom quality gift and they want to know if you'll make a blanket to match.
> 
> Manners are missing today, but just as much, if not more with adults. At a craft show I always say hello, but it's the adults that don't even acknowledge your greeting (while they are pawing through my things)
> 
> When I hold the door for someone and they don't say thank you, and cheerfully say "You're welcome!" as they go through.


LOL!! i do the same thing. I am so rude when it comes to things like that. It irritates me when you do a act of kindness and it is not appreciated. I always say thank you or thanks if someone holds a door for me or do something to help me out. It is only right. Being 63 I was raised the old school way with manners and I taught that to my kids. But the grandkids I have to remind sometimes. If I give them something or do something for them and I don't get a thank you I say "Thank You Grandma" They know they goofed up then. And say Thank You Grandma and give me a hug. LOL!! I diffently get my point arossed.


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## Marilyn K. (Jul 8, 2011)

Please don't this happening ruin your happy feelings. It's not you. I agree with whomever noted that it's today's world. Today's culture has lost a lot of it's charm and sweetness. Because some people have so much, they can't seem to appreciate anything. As for the grandmother in all of this, I frankly can't understand her. I know the world has lost much of it's civility but what she did was just plain wrong.
marilyn


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## almondjoy (Jul 26, 2011)

children just aren't raised to appreciate things like when I grew up they are not taught to send thank you notes or to even say thank you. I believe that a lot of this is because the children don't have anyone at home to guide them the basically raise themselves after school. I seems to me that the mother is exactly like the daughter. They just expect things to go the way they want it and don't care about people or their feelings. I am a person that loves to get handmade gifts I believe that it comes from the persons heart and that they cared enough about me to take time out of their busy life to do something nice to me. I greatly appreciate handmade gifts.


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## Silverfoxdiva (Jan 17, 2011)

I know it is difficult to deal with people who are rude and can't seem to make their mouths' form the words 'thank you'. Don't allow their actions to poison you. The more you stew about this the more angry you will become and it is not worth it. Forgive them and if you are invited to anything of their's just say no, and if they want to know why just tell them you have other plans. I know you are hurt but just chalk this up to their ignorance and move on.


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## Dowager (Jun 7, 2011)

*grins* I had another thought. When you think the recipient might not appreciate the gift, buy the nicest box of Thank You cards you can find and give that for the shower, holiday or whatever instead of a gift, as a not-so-gentle reminder! Yes, that would have been considered rude in our day, but these oafs aren't gonna know the difference!


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## wecarter (Jul 6, 2011)

This is same reason I do not crochet items for $$$, when I give someone a crochet/plastic canvas item as gift, I know how long it took and I take pride in what I create and that person means a lot to me. When I give my gift(s) I do it privately and not in a group, as everyone will say "will you make me one too"
As far as the RSVP, I would not say what I am making, just it is in the works to be done.


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## Valkyrie (Feb 26, 2011)

When I was married about 40 yrs ago I was so dismayed by the fact that about 9 gifts came without cards attached. I just knew that there were 9 people out there who thought I was a terribly rude person for not thanking them for their gift!
It is so much easier now to send the gift ahead of time, at least I have postal confirmation to know that it arrived.


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## blkeeney (Jul 18, 2011)

Rude, rude, rude.....shame on that family. Please try not to think you did anything wrong. Sadly you story is not unusual these days.
We lived in Athens, Greece for two years recently for my husband's job. While there two of his office folks got married. We attended both weddings and gave very large cash gifts because that's what you do there. A few month later one of the ladies had a baby, I knitted a lovely baby blanket and a few other gifts to match. 
Never got any kind of acknowledgement on any of the three gifts. Not a single comment....
Not sure what's wrong with the younger folk that they think this is okay. For some reason they seem to have a sense of entitlement....
It's sad....and I'm sorry you had to experience it. Definitely if that Grandmother mentions a matching anything.....I'd tell her very nicely that you're sorry, but while you'd love to make the afghan, the things you already made were received with such lack of enthusiasm that you're pretty sure that the Mom would not want to be bothered with the blanket.


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## phylled1 (Jun 19, 2011)

i have had rudeness from our Grandaughter, i sent her Daughter (my Great Grandaughter) a present of a jijsaw for her birthday did not know if she could do jigsaws the message i got back was that she had had BETTER PRESENTS off her friends, so now she gets a small amount of money we are pensioners so can not pay to much as we have more grandchildren the present was sent with love but now i am wary and wonder if the money is wrong


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## laurelk. (Jun 4, 2011)

Really disgusting. Ungrateful.
Laurelk in S.CA


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## Nonnie (Feb 4, 2011)

I know how you feel. I sent a blanket to a shower I couldn't attend because of distance and do not have any idea if it was received or not. Also sent the grandmother a grama brag book and picture frame and don't know if was received or not
I am sure that most people do not realize that blankets and homemade gifts take much more time and effort than going to the store and picking off a registry


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## Shawie (Jul 22, 2011)

You are upset about this, and rightly so, because of the general deterioration of good manners in this country. You see and experience it everywhere, on the road, in families and a lot of times in the giving of gifts - rudeness prevails. What is the matter with us that showing a little kindness has now become a thing of the past? Just a little kindness and consideration, please.

Now my knitting is waiting. Thanks to all who participate in this site.


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## littleladybug (May 21, 2011)

I am very particular about who I make things for, (except for an occasional charity) and if I take the time and effort to make something, it BETTER be appreciated! Yarn isn't cheap, either! I noticed when my former DIL was pregnant with my granddaughter (my first grandchild) that store bought sweaters are cheaply made and do not begin to hold a candle to the hand knitted or crocheted ones! I love anything handmade! Sounds like some folks are spoiled and don't realize value when they see it! For shame!


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## sam07671 (May 12, 2011)

Juleen said:


> LOL, I think some people are just born rude! Off topic here but a few years ago I told my SIL that during the summer (I'm a teacher) perhaps we could get together and go to lunch one day. (She does not work). She looked me right in the eye and said, "I live on a different social economic level than you do and I wouldn't be seen with you!". Message came through loud and clear! I went outside and put my feet in the pool where everyone else was having fun. When dear hubby came up and said, "Hey, I thought you were helping make dinner", I told him if I opened my mouth it wouldn't be pretty!!!!! Needless, to say, she will never get a knitted item from me! See how cleverly I returned this to topic after venting my frustration? :O)


Well talk about rude. That was awful to say to you. If you were willing to take her out and show you are not worried about the diffrence in "social economic status" then she should be willing to go. Especially if you offered and was willing to foot the bill. People just infuriate me like that. No appreciation for anything. Reading this link infuriates and frustrates me so much my blood pressure is riseing. It is just amazing to me that people can be so rude directly and indirectly. Maybe because I tend to be the opposite. Sometimes I may not like a gift I get but I am gracious enough to say Thank You and show my appreciation. Maybe they may not be able to afford to give hyou someing but will buy you something anyway. That is when it is more appreciative.


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## sam07671 (May 12, 2011)

Dowager said:


> *grins* I had another thought. When you think the recipient might not appreciate the gift, buy the nicest box of Thank You cards you can find and give that for the shower, holiday or whatever instead of a gift, as a not-so-gentle reminder! Yes, that would have been considered rude in our day, but these oafs aren't gonna know the difference!


Dowager...I like your idea very much. Good thinking. :thumbup:


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## Bea 465 (Mar 27, 2011)

PaKnitter said:


> Each of you is so kind and wise.
> 
> The grandparents are still my next door neighbors. Only the mother-to-be moved out so she and the father-to-be can share joint custody of the kid...her words...not mine.....
> 
> Thank you for listening....


This young woman is incredibly self-centered and her grandmother is from another planet to act the way she did. I think this young woman got pregnant, didn't want the baby, and is now living with the father because of joint custody. I can see it now, they probably have no more interest in each other except their physical interest in the beginning (which is what started this whole thing) he'll be dating someone, she'll be dating someone and they'll be living together because of the baby. God help the child.


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## LolaBean (Apr 6, 2011)

phylled1 said:


> i have had rudeness from our Grandaughter, i sent her Daughter (my Great Grandaughter) a present of a jijsaw for her birthday did not know if she could do jigsaws the message i got back was that she had had BETTER PRESENTS off her friends, so now she gets a small amount of money we are pensioners so can not pay to much as we have more grandchildren the present was sent with love but now i am wary and wonder if the money is wrong


That just breaks my heart. My mom and Dad are on a fixed income and I am always trying to tell Mom not to buy presents for all of the grandchildren because they never call her and thank her. My Mom gives from the heart, but these kids have so much that they don't appreciate that fact!
My adult son was recently in an auto accident and my Mom wanted to send him a puzzle to keep him occupied. I nixed that idea right away because #1 - puzzles are expensive and #2 - I knew he wouldn't even open it!


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## MsMac (Jan 13, 2011)

PaKnitter said:


> This is a little off topic but I'm still thinking about it so I guess I'm just a little ticked...I knitted a sweater and hat for a baby shower I was invited to. When I rsvp the Grandmother asked me what I planned to buy off the registry and I said nothing as I'm knitting a sweater and hat. She asked if I was knitting a blanket and booties to go with it and I said 'no'. She gave me this look so I said if she wants a matching afghan she can ask me later.
> 
> I did knit two 4" washcloths and bought a Noah's Ark Christmas tree ornament and package of Huggies.
> 
> ...


You know, this generation is so enthralled with "name brand" possessions that they have no desire for something hand made. Their purchased items (after they've lost their appeal) also get tossed so flippantly in the give-away bag. I guess I've always loved making things that I prize hand-made things when I find them at thrift stores and walk away shocked that someone could just give something like that away. Somewhere down the line someone has failed to impart an appreciation for the time and effort that goes into hand made items. They are what is truly priceless! Don't feel bad for their reaction. It's their loss. You did a wonderful thing that possibly the baby will appreciate one day!


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## LindaH (Feb 1, 2011)

Oh, that would SO totally piss me off. Of course, I would learn a very valuable lesson and never knit or crochet anything for this woman and/or the grandmother ever again. She obviously has NO CLUE how much work and time goes into making something by hand. Grrrrrrrrrrr!!


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## littleladybug (May 21, 2011)

This is definitely off topic, but here goes....I told my grown daughter and grown son that I wasn't celebrating Christmas this year, because I felt that everyone is forgetting the true meaning of the holiday! That my daughter acted offended because I wanted to play a Christmas carol in my own house! No more knocking myself out to try and please everyone anymore! I will buy one present for each grandchild, and go to church on Christmas eve, instead of accomodating everyone else! Going to start sticking to my values! And about time!


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## pamgillies1 (Aug 6, 2011)

Quite agree with littleladybug. I am one of the lucky ones that is thanked (mostly) when giving hand made gifts. 
This site has certainly set the cat among the pigeons.
Love and hugs to all who feel low.


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## TooToo (Aug 18, 2011)

I understand, when my step-grandaughter had her first baby I was thrilled and knitted 2 outfits. Did I ever hear anything, noooooooo. Had to call to see if it was even delivered and still no thank you or sign of appreciation. When she had the second baby I did nothing except send a card congratulating them on the baby. You are right, they weren't trained right or just expect too much as their due.
Jean C.


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## dijewe (Mar 1, 2011)

littleladybug said:


> This is definitely off topic, but here goes....I told my grown daughter and grown son that I wasn't celebrating Christmas this year, because I felt that everyone is forgetting the true meaning of the holiday! That my daughter acted offended because I wanted to play a Christmas carol in my own house! No more knocking myself out to try and please everyone anymore! I will buy one present for each grandchild, and go to church on Christmas eve, instead of accomodating everyone else! Going to start sticking to my values! And about time!


Hear hear - A few years ago, after I saw all the expensive items on my 4 kids wishlists, I told them that I was going to donate whatever money I had intended to spend on them - to a charity in their honor as that is the true spirit of Christmas. I did exactly that to the AIDS foundation. They were speechless. Now they know that they will get gifts that I can afford or nothing.


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## DWIL (Jun 7, 2011)

Venting, too! I was browsing the internet and got reaally steamed after printing out a "free" pattern. I was steamed at how selfish people are. The pattern noted that the finished product could be sold at bazaars, auctions ,etc or given to a charity. If the finished product was given to a charity the person donating the item was to include the name and contact information of the pattern designer.
Some gift of charity!!Why must people have to have some glory that is not due them.
Sorry, but I just had to vent.


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## DWIL (Jun 7, 2011)

Venting, too! I was browsing the internet and got reaally steamed after printing out a "free" pattern. I was steamed at how selfish people are. The pattern noted that the finished product could be sold at bazaars, auctions ,etc or given to a charity. If the finished product was given to a charity the person donating the item was to include the name and contact information of the pattern designer.
Some gift of charity!!Why must people have to have some glory that is not due them.
Sorry, but I just had to vent.


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## Mrs Chief (Mar 24, 2011)

My only comment on daughters behavior~~~see how her mother acts? The apple does not fall far from the tree. She has learned nothing good at home beause it wasn't taught.


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## janette777 (Jun 11, 2011)

I agree with all here. I think perhaps it is her upbringing and perhaps she is just as fed up with Gramma as you are. I don't go to any showers anymore, unless they are put on by fellow church members. Our church values prudence when it comes to gifts and life in general. This new generation has been brought up with the word "MORE" the first word they learn to speak.


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## maggieme (Jul 25, 2011)

I want us to end this chain with 'light' hearts today. I have also "BEEN THERE".
I am also a Quilt maker. I have made three lovely quilts for my Grandaughter and wondered why I'd never seen them in her bedroom...so I asked. This beautiful child turned to me with her sparkling blue eyes and sweet voice and said...."Oh Grandma, they are all in my cupboard. I can't use them because they are Heirlooms." I'm still chuckling!


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## Juleen (Jun 3, 2011)

ROTFLMOO! I love the idea of giving a box of thank you cards! Cracks me up! Probably wouldn't help but at least they might THINK thank you.


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## Mrs Chief (Mar 24, 2011)

dwernars said:


> littleladybug said:
> 
> 
> > This is definitely off topic, but here goes....I told my grown daughter and grown son that I wasn't celebrating Christmas this year, because I felt that everyone is forgetting the true meaning of the holiday! That my daughter acted offended because I wanted to play a Christmas carol in my own house! No more knocking myself out to try and please everyone anymore! I will buy one present for each grandchild, and go to church on Christmas eve, instead of accomodating everyone else! Going to start sticking to my values! And about time!
> ...


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## Charlotte80 (Jan 24, 2011)

Wolves are better behaved!


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## Neeterbug (May 25, 2011)

I had something similar happen to me. My brother's son and new wife had a baby and I decided to knit a baby blanket, couple of sweaters, hat, etc., etc. I even bought several cute little tops and shorts and other small items. They never let me know that they received the package...not even a thank you note. The only way I knew they received it was they posted new pictures of the baby on the internet with the new baby on the blanket that I made. While talking with my brother about two year's later, he mentioned that the now two year old never goes anywhere without his "blankie." I sure gave my brother an ear full. They recently had another baby...I didn't waste my time or money on this new one...which is a shame because I have no grandkids and will never have any and sending things to my relatives satisfies this lack. My sweet husband was really upset over this!!!

Thanks for letting me vent!!!! I have been upset over this for years!!!


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## nanoo25 (May 19, 2011)

These people are Morons! The're the ones with the problem, not you!


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## 5mmdpns (Jun 1, 2011)

I am venting too. I knit a fair isle sweater to fit a 6 month old baby and gave it to my sister in-law when she had her first baby -- a girl. I never heard back whether this was liked or not. I never saw my niece wear the sweater. I dont know if she ever did wear it. The niece is now 20 years old. I am still waiting for a "thank you" which I know I will never get.

For anyone who gets asked "what are you giving to xxxxxxx for the xxxxxxx occaision" I would simply say "I am not sure yet" and leave it at that. How rude to tell what the gift is to the recipient/s before they even open it.

Thanks for the venting topic!


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## pegperson (Jul 20, 2011)

I agree w/all of you!! My own daughter is one that has never appreciated anything I've either made or bought and sent and never knew anything had ever gotten there. I learned a long time ago not to send anything even @ birthdays or Christmas as I wouldn't get an acknowledgement. I have friends who have had the same thing happen.


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## 5mmdpns (Jun 1, 2011)

phylled1 said:


> i have had rudeness from our Grandaughter, i sent her Daughter (my Great Grandaughter) a present of a jijsaw for her birthday did not know if she could do jigsaws the message i got back was that she had had BETTER PRESENTS off her friends, so now she gets a small amount of money we are pensioners so can not pay to much as we have more grandchildren the present was sent with love but now i am wary and wonder if the money is wrong


These exist in all families. So dont send any gift for Christmas or birthday. If you are asked why you didnt send anything, you just say, "Well I dont know if you even want or like anything I gave you because I never get a thank you note for past presents I have sent." As they say, "the road runs both ways".

You can also not send anything and tell them "I can not afford to give you what you want, so I am giving you nothing."

One question for those who give gifts that they dont get a thank you for: do those people send you anything for your Christmas or birthday?


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## pegperson (Jul 20, 2011)

You're right about that Littleladybug. I don't send any presents any more as I never knew if they got there and nothing saying they liked them. Told my daughter there would be no presents from me and the other grandma and stepgrandma could do all the sending. I guess they send stuff all year long but I can't afford. I'm trying to pay for dentures so that takes care of a lot of things.


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## SimplyGran (Jul 9, 2011)

WOW! Unbelievable, absolutely unbelievable. Sorry you had to go through all of that. I agree: 2 females raised by wolves so manners are not in the lesson planner." Yes, you can just smile at them but if they are as rude as you have said, it will only irritate them. They have to have a conscience for a smile to make them feel bad. 
You can casually ignore this neighbor and her daughter; or
you can go over to her house and discuss the problem; or you can just go ahead and make the coverlet and tell her those cute little booties do not stay on babies feet anyway, so you passed them over. 
You can be the bigger person and have a clear conscience if you do it in that light. Apologize as you hand off the coverlet and smile. The Grandmother was rude to all who attended the Shower by asking which gift was being brought and then expecting more. The daughter . . ? She already has her problems: those she inherited and those she helped to create!


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## PattyAnn (Jan 24, 2011)

I don't think so.


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## volubilis (Aug 23, 2011)

I know from experience that this kind of thing hurts and that it is difficult to forget it. However getting mad all over again hurts you, not them, and they are not worth it. Put them out of your mind.


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## Debbiewein7 (Aug 3, 2011)

That just goes to show you how ungrateful people can be. I often hesitate to make anything homemade, just because most people don't appreciate the love and workmanship that goes into it.

I am sure that it was lovely. Chalk it up to just being ignorant.


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## JudiBee (Mar 11, 2011)

PaKnitter said:


> To kaye...
> No, she won't remember it as a co-worker made a crib size fleece afghan for the shower. She didn't even bother opening it up all the way so we could see it but the back side was one solid color the front another color with a huge applique of ? and the blanket stitch was a contrast color. She mumble something like I already knew she was making this for me and tossed it aside to open the next gift.
> 
> The neighbor across the street made a baby cocoon and hat on her kniffy knitter and gave it to her ahead of time fearing she wouldn't like it and she was right...She was told she didn't like the pink in the baby colors of blue, pink and white because they are having a boy. She went out and bought her a $100.00 gift...yes, $100.00 gift which didn't seem to generate much of a response either.
> ...


I don't blame you for being peeved - I'm upset for you. This generation knows absolutely nothing about appreciation and graditude.


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## knittertwo (Feb 6, 2011)

Your heart was/is in the right place. Rude grandmother and mom-to-be's wasn't. 'nuff said.


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## 5mmdpns (Jun 1, 2011)

One can not compromise their own integrity just because others have no ethics. How sad that parents are too busy to teach their children how to behave and act responsibly.


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## Niki-knitter (Jan 28, 2011)

Just met a couple from New Zealand in May, they became new grandparent to baby girl 1 month ago, I am knitting an alpaca pink shrug for Bebe Georgia, along w booties. Knitted w love & going down under. Used apattern from new 1 skein wonders book I ordered. Such cute luxury things made w 1 skein of wonderful yarn! Hope she will stay toasty warm in this NZ winter!
Joan


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## sam07671 (May 12, 2011)

hobbydiva said:


> We have three children and I received newly made afghans from my mother for #1 son, a couple, #2 son, 2 afghans and #3 daughter, around 6 BUT none of the ends where finished. I had to weave in all the joins. Did I mind? No! My children are mega older now (18, 16 and 12) those afghans are put up for them (except for one afghan, my daughter uses that for her doll) and I am adding to them. When they become parents (hopefully not in the near future), they will have a lineage of love.
> 
> On the other hand, my friend views homemade stuff as "cheap" (about the only thing I disagree with her over) and therefore I know to buy her gifts versus make them. I can't imagine why the grandmother "needed" to know ahead of time what the gift was, that's plenty weird, but now you know where you stand with them and you can and should move on with your life. You did good, they, not so much.


I had a SIL like that. Anything handmade was tacky in her mind. They bought expensive gifts from Hudson's and expensive stores. Things I made for them were never seen once opened after that.


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## Niki-knitter (Jan 28, 2011)

I'm sure your knitted gifts will be enjoyed even though the adults have no manners or integrity !


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## sam07671 (May 12, 2011)

cathy47 said:


> It is very rude for the not acknowledgement of the gifts. As for the asking about a blanket well I see it as a need. So I wo uldn't take that as an insualt. But I do understand I have madeup so much and given it to family memebers even those of us that don't have money and never one time a thank you or kiss my *****. So come next time around like Christmas I will make a sock and put a lump of charcoal in it. See if they get the point then. So now I take and things I would have given to the ungrateful goes to charity at least I know its appreciated not expected. It really does hurt.


Oh but why "make" a sock? BUY a very small one that a lump of coal will fit in and say Merry Christmas.


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## Miss Pam (Jun 14, 2011)

You have every right to vent. They were both rude beyond description!


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## justjulie (Aug 21, 2011)

Whoops, my post posted before I was done...current rule, send a check or a giftcard from Wal-Mart!


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## judyr (Feb 20, 2011)

Well I would be upset too! A handmade gift whether it is knit, crochet, or baked goods is from the heart. I truly agree. A baby shower is a celebration of a new life and with a handmade gift, that is also a celebration of life that you give to the yarn. I have had a similar thing happen to me - when I called to ask if gift was received I got the run around that thank yous would be sent out. They never were. And these were relatives. Age makes no distinction when it comes to bad manners. You can make me anything handmade anytime and I will appreciate you and your work as I am a fellow crafter who knows the meaning of time put into the object and the love that goes with it. Keep your chin up, everybody is not like your next door neighbor!!!! Thank goodness !


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## tamarque (Jan 21, 2011)

Not knowing these people, what I get from the post is that the grandmother is very controlling and the mom has no backbone to confront her. All I can think of is poor, poor baby!

I wouldn't take anything they say seriously, but would definitely not engage with them on anything again, other than polite neighborly chatter.


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## ann bar (Jul 11, 2011)

How Rude...first to ask what you are intending to give as a gift and second for not even a verbal response from the person receiving it. Don't they realize that a hand made gift is something more special than one from a list. Don't blame you for feeling the way you do.


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## sockyarn (Jan 26, 2011)

It really is not the children s fault. It is the parents for not teaching them good manners. I must say I have had this happen tooooo many times.


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## knittingpagan (Aug 15, 2011)

ok ladies i get that we are all pretty peeved for ourselves and each other but might i point out that not alll of the people in the younger generation (Myself included) are inconsiderate and rude. yes some are but some from the older generations are too thats where the younger ones learned it from. so from one of the younger generation traing the next after me (i have 3 very polite and apreciative kids who love everything they get even if they already own it.) please don't tar us all with the same brush


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## CBCAROL (Apr 12, 2011)

I guess that I'm very lucky like 'Eileen'.....

all of my Recipients have loved the items (at least to my face).

and as far as the kids go, THEY usally run to their rooms & put it on immediately..... even if it is 90degrees out & it is a hooded sweater or hat & mittens.......

My children and all of their children really know how to make Grandma's heart sing.....


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## Mollie (Feb 23, 2011)

This is off the subject, but the shawl you have pictured to the left of your text is just beautiful. Any chance I can get the pattern? Thanks, Mollie


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## mjs (Mar 3, 2011)

PaKnitter said:


> This is a little off topic but I'm still thinking about it so I guess I'm just a little ticked...I knitted a sweater and hat for a baby shower I was invited to. When I rsvp the Grandmother asked me what I planned to buy off the registry and I said nothing as I'm knitting a sweater and hat. She asked if I was knitting a blanket and booties to go with it and I said 'no'. She gave me this look so I said if she wants a matching afghan she can ask me later.
> 
> I did knit two 4" washcloths and bought a Noah's Ark Christmas tree ornament and package of Huggies.
> 
> ...


I simply don't believe in showers and wasn't that wild about them even when I was young. I would simply not go and then give someone what I wanted to give her.


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## granny (Apr 8, 2011)

I can only add my agreement to all that has been said. I don't understand what has happened to people these days. But if the grandmother had the audacity to ask what you were giving (what, was she the gift police?) that would be the telling factor as to why the daughter is the way she is. We are only as gracious as we have been taught. Don't cast your pearls before swine!!


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## ann bar (Jul 11, 2011)

knittingpagan said:


> ok ladies i get that we are all pretty peeved for ourselves and each other but might i point out that not alll of the people in the younger generation (Myself included) are inconsiderate and rude. yes some are but some from the older generations are too thats where the younger ones learned it from. so from one of the younger generation traing the next after me (i have 3 very polite and apreciative kids who love everything they get even if they already own it.) please don't tar us all with the same brush


Well said...I just sent a gift to young woman who was being given a baby shower...She sent me via FB a picture taken of her opening it...the look on her face was thank-you enough.


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## 5mmdpns (Jun 1, 2011)

knittingpagan said:


> ok ladies i get that we are all pretty peeved for ourselves and each other but might i point out that not alll of the people in the younger generation (Myself included) are inconsiderate and rude. yes some are but some from the older generations are too thats where the younger ones learned it from. so from one of the younger generation traing the next after me (i have 3 very polite and apreciative kids who love everything they get even if they already own it.) please don't tar us all with the same brush


The posts about children not being taught the proper manners does stand true for MOST. Of course we all know that there are exceptions to this fact and those people are not being tarred with the same brush. Dont feel you have to take offense at what is the "normal" behaviour of most of the younger generation of today.


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## sues4hrts (Apr 22, 2011)

What is it that people don't get. Sounds like they didn't want to share this blessed event, They just wanted to see what they could rake in...manners manners o thou where ourt thou?


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## bellestarr12 (Mar 26, 2011)

Edith M said:


> That is the main reason I knit and crochet mostly for charity. My grand/great grandchildren have not learned to say thank you or even acknowlege the reciept of gifts I have labored over and then had to pay postage on. I have had to call them to inquire if the package arrived and the response is usually," Oh yes it came last week." I refuse to humiliate myself further by asking if the liked it. I love them all but that treatment really hurts.


Although most people are so appreciative of the time and love we put into the things we make, not all are, and some of them, like this mother and daughter, are just unbelievable? I'd say maybe they were raised by wolves, but that would be unkind to wolves, who are beautiful animals with great loyalty to their families and packs!

Your story reminds me of my daughter-in-law (don't worry, she won't see this). So many instances of her bad manners and thoughtlessness, I hardly know where to start. In one of our early conversations she said, "I don't understand why my mother gets upset when I give away presents she's given me."

She doesn't say thank you nor has she taught our grandchildren the importance of acknowledging gifts - they live over 1000 miles away and sending them anything is like sending it off into a black hole in outer space. The first few years I made them gifts anyway, but now I'd rather knit for charity - or for the other grandkids and relatives. When our granddaughter was little I knitted her a sweater and our son made sure we saw her wear it, and a Raggedy Ann doll, which she loved. But then on a visit a couple of years ago I didn't see the Raggedy Ann and asked our granddaughter if she still had it. No, it had gotten dirty so her mom threw it away (our daughter, her aunt, still has hers from childhood, much washed and still much loved). She looked sad and embarrassed and I felt really sorry for her - but I don't make things for her any more, or for any of them, except maybe a hat or scarf for our son, who's still got his manners.


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## CBCAROL (Apr 12, 2011)

Well said...I just sent a gift to young woman who was being given a baby shower...She sent me via FB a picture taken of her opening it...the look on her face was thank-you enough.[/quote]

NOW THAT's being POLITE !!! :lol: :thumbup:


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## DorothyLWM (May 8, 2011)

No doubt that the daughter's rudeness is a product of her mother's rude and selfish attitude. I'm amazed at her gall. Your gift was SO gracious and generous. If there's another baby shower for her, I'd go to Walmart for a gift, if I did anything at all. ; )

I have one team-mate, who, no matter what you give her (I gave her lead-crystal candle holders once) there's never any more than peek in to see it, and set it aside and go on to the next gift. She never shows anything to the group, never says boo about it. We draw names for Christmas, and celebrate everyone's birthday with very nice presents. 

I drew a different team member's name once. She had said she'd like a lounge robe to wear around the house, so I spent 2 DAYS (still less time than you spent, I'm sure) making her not only a lounge robe, but an heirloom type robe of top quality soft cotton, with beautiful machine-embroidery added. It would have sold for $80 to $100, I think; or more perhaps. She didn't even pull the whole thing out of the package. She pulled out enough to see there was fabric, and shoved it back into the box and set it aside. None of the other girls even saw it, nor did she ever say a word to me about it. I guess she didn't like it.

If I draw either of their names again, I'll buy something quick and cheap, and save the real gifts for those who appreciate quality and time.


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## rogmankir (Aug 8, 2011)

I used to sew outfits for my nieces when they were little. My one niece got to where any time anyone would tell her they liked what she was wearing, no matter what it was, she would say, "My Aunt Mandy made it for me." I got credit for making her entire wardrobe! : )


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## Pleclerrc (Apr 17, 2011)

Sounds like a baby shower I recently attended where guests were asked to self-address an envelope so the mother-to-be could just drop a signed thank you card in the envelope and mail. Beautifully-wrapped gifts were unwrapped prior to the guest of honor's arrival to expedite gift opening. Most gifts were intentionally left on the hanger with pricetag so they could be returned the following week for something else or cash. The mother-to-be never knew who sent what or wrapped it.
Evidently, SOME people (in this generation) could greatly benefit from a good book on MANNERS. Needless to say, that's the last baby shower I ever attended. Don't waste head space wondering if you should knit anything else for this person. Only knit for those who appreciate your beautiful work. You gave a beautiful gift of your talent, kindness and care - 'Tis Enough! Patricia


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## grandmann (Feb 4, 2011)

volubilis said:


> I know from experience that this kind of thing hurts and that it is difficult to forget it. However getting mad all over again hurts you, not them, and they are not worth it. Put them out of your mind.


Been there myself


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## deshka (Apr 6, 2011)

The apple does not fall far from the tree. Like mother, like daughter. There are reasons for these sayings and this mom daughter team head the list. My own theory on gift giving is this, I give the gift, it is theirs. They do with it what they want. If they tell me thank you, they get a gift the 'next time'. If there is no thank you, there are no more gifts. The 'no more' is becoming more frequent all the time. Some times it is lack of education, sometimes just plain rudeness, or meaness, I think maybe your next door neighbors are all of the above. Keep on knitting, there are many that will tell you thank you, and mean it. It's too bad next door neighbors like that exist.


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## VickiHarsha (Apr 20, 2011)

I made my first 5 hour sweater for my daughter, and not knowing the sex of the baby, I did green/yellow/cream yarn. The sweater turned out beautiful. Because she had a little boy, she thought it was a little "girlie" with the lace part of the yoke, but it did not hurt my feelings. THEN, this is the funny part, my older daughter has a friend having a baby girl, and I suggested to my daughter that she send the sweater to the friend, and she said "No Mom, you made that for Lucas and it is going into his hope chest, of clothing that is special and I am saving for him" 

Even though she didn't want him to wear it, she wanted to keep it as a keepsake for him. I just laughed and shook my head at my silly daughter! But, she did appreciate the handmade things I have made for him after that, and they will all go into his "keepsake" trunk. 

We all want our items to be loved, worn and well received, but that is not always the case. I was determined to make something she would put on the baby, and it increased my ability in knitting, along with my determination! 

And, Baby Lucas has many sweaters and hats! NOW, to learn how to make booties....


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## bellestarr12 (Mar 26, 2011)

Pleclerrc said:


> Sounds like a baby shower I recently attended where guests were asked to self-address an envelope so the mother-to-be could just drop a signed thank you card in the envelope and mail. Beautifully-wrapped gifts were unwrapped prior to the guest of honor's arrival to expedite gift opening. Most gifts were intentionally left on the hanger with pricetag so they could be returned the following week for something else or cash. The mother-to-be never knew who sent what or wrapped it.
> Evidently, SOME people (in this generation) could greatly benefit from a good book on MANNERS. Needless to say, that's the last baby shower I ever attended. Don't waste head space wondering if you should knit anything else for this person. Only knit for those who appreciate your beautiful work. You gave a beautiful gift of your talent, kindness and care - 'Tis Enough! Patricia


Whoopi Goldberg wrote a wonderful kids' book on manners. I sent our granddaughter a copy. But of course I never got any acknowledgment (sigh!)


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## Knitting Cruiser (Mar 19, 2011)

Pleclerrc said:


> Sounds like a baby shower I recently attended where guests were asked to self-address an envelope so the mother-to-be could just drop a signed thank you card in the envelope and mail.
> 
> Needless to say, that's the last baby shower I ever attended.


I attended a wedding shower where we were not only asked to self-address the envelope but to write on a post-note what we gave to the bride and stick it on the envelope! Also, this was not particularly a "fun, sociable" event--our chairs were lined up in rows like a schoolroom or church, a "mini" sermon was given, no games, minimal conversation with other guests, etc. Two of the mothers brought small children who "helped" with the gifts--pushing them all around, stacking them on top of each other, etc. They finally got in a squabble about the gifts in the middle of all this and the mothers finally separated them but did NOT stop them from playing with the gifts. I was just sure something was going to be broken and I was "on edge" the entire event. A very stressful evening to say the least.

I won't say I won't EVER attend another wedding/baby shower but I am very leary now will find out all the details first before I decide whether to attend or just send a gift.


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## DorothyLWM (May 8, 2011)

Knitting Cruiser said:


> Pleclerrc said:
> 
> 
> > Sounds like a baby shower I recently attended where guests were asked to self-address an envelope so the mother-to-be could just drop a signed thank you card in the envelope and mail.
> ...


EWWW I'm surprised you didn't get a 'sudden headache' in the middle of that mess and go home.


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## DorothyLWM (May 8, 2011)

> ...Evidently, SOME people (in this generation) could greatly benefit from a good book on MANNERS...


Whoopi Goldberg wrote a wonderful kids' book on manners. I sent our granddaughter a copy. But of course I never got any acknowledgment (sigh!)[/quote]

That's a great idea! I wonder if I would have the nerve to give a copy to my two team-mates who are more greedy than gracious? (loving the thought)


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## MrsBearstalker (Aug 11, 2011)

Well, they have no manners, and that isn't uncommon these days. So sorry, but you know . . . that's the last time you will ever need to spend your time on that family! Mark one group off your list and knit for those who do appreciate your time, effort, and expense.

I was recently invited to a bridal shower (fortunately for me I was going to be out of state at the time) and told that they didn't want gifts, just money or gift cards. That old me two things: (1) they consider my taste or judgment of a gift to be inferior to their good taste; and (2) all they want is my money to take shopping. We did give them a $50 gift certificate for a wedding gift (even though we were not invited to the wedding) but we never received thanks for that.

In my day, one wrote thank-you notes before using the gift and certainly within a week of receiving the gift. Of course, in my day, it was NOT proper for a family member to give a shower for their daughter/sister, etc. Times have changed, but, sadly, not for the better.


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## kacey64 (Mar 23, 2011)

EileenED said:


> I am lucky as when I knit my grandchildren anything they are so greatfull and have asked will I still do them items when they go uni very soon, depends how children are raised I guess


Unfortunately, too many children aren't raised these days... they are just allowed to grow!


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## gothicmuse (May 12, 2011)

I am so sad reading your story,Paknitter. I am fortunate that people know that I craft and have never had a recipient be anything but gracious and thanked me. Now what they do with it afterwards is their own lookout, but to be so bald-faced rude and to have the young mother be so non-committal just makes me angry for you and sad for them. How will they react to the gift of a child?!? Will the mother become disenchanted after a few months? 

I think that (relatively)so few people craft gifts these days that some people have forgotten how special a hand-made-for-you gift can be.

I hope that you can forgive them...they may have already forgotten (or not understood in the first place) the insult that was levelled at your precious gift. I'm with whoever said that "IF" they remember your offer of a blanket, that you tell them that you cannot make one. At that point, it would be a case of "well, she offered why not get what we can from her." IMHO.

Jo


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## beesquared (Jul 31, 2011)

I have always managed to avoid buying things from a registry. I take the registry items as a starting point to shop for something similar, not as gospel. How incredibly rude to ask if "that´s all".


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## gypsie (May 28, 2011)

I don't think it's the generation. I think it's the person and the upbringing. Some people just don't have much emotion. They don't know how to express feelings. And then again some people have no etiquette. You did a wonderful thing. Most people don't know how much time goes into a knitted garment. To us it is almost sacred. How could they ever begin to understand that?


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## gypsie (May 28, 2011)

kacey64 said:


> EileenED said:
> 
> 
> > I am lucky as when I knit my grandchildren anything they are so greatfull and have asked will I still do them items when they go uni very soon, depends how children are raised I guess
> ...


I like that! You are sooo right!


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## knitter1639 (Aug 28, 2011)

I'm real sorry for your horrible experience. There have been a few times when I've felt like the presents I had made weren't appreciated as much as I'd hoped, but nothing like this fiasco you dealt with. You were very thoughtful to take the time and effort to make an exceptional handmade gift. I think you did a wonderful thing. I have decided lately that I'm finally going to knit for myself and my daughters mainly, because they we are the ones who appreciate the love that went into the projects.


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## anna1153 (May 20, 2011)

I don't know what is wrong with people these days. So thankless. They do not know what goes into knitting. its not easy but we do love it. How rude these folks are. They are probably jealous i guess!


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## gypsie (May 28, 2011)

VickiHarsha said:


> I made my first 5 hour sweater for my daughter, and not knowing the sex of the baby, I did green/yellow/cream yarn. The sweater turned out beautiful. Because she had a little boy, she thought it was a little "girlie" with the lace part of the yoke, but it did not hurt my feelings. THEN, this is the funny part, my older daughter has a friend having a baby girl, and I suggested to my daughter that she send the sweater to the friend, and she said "No Mom, you made that for Lucas and it is going into his hope chest, of clothing that is special and I am saving for him"
> 
> Even though she didn't want him to wear it, she wanted to keep it as a keepsake for him. I just laughed and shook my head at my silly daughter! But, she did appreciate the handmade things I have made for him after that, and they will all go into his "keepsake" trunk.
> 
> ...


Booties are so easy and fast to make, you will love doing it!


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## GMADRAGON2 (Apr 20, 2011)

People who do not do needlework, crochet, or knitting (or for that matter ANY handwork)have no appreciation for what is being given to them. They put less value on the works, without the realization that the materials alone cost as much as any pricey registry junk ...and, that those who can truly afford handmade gifts are willing to pay as much as $150 for a baby set, hand crocheted or knitted.

I'd rack this one up as sheer stupidity, not worth the time of your anger, and then avoid them as the plaque ... hoping their attitude won't contaminate anything around you.


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## nhauf001 (Jan 18, 2011)

I think we have all had this experience in one form or another. I have been lucky that I am one of the few in my circle who know how to do 'crafty' things. But I also have my rules, #1 is no thank you, no more hand made gifts, life is too short -- I want to make things that people will enjoy and appreciate. -- but nothing takes away from the joy I get from making something new. -- I also knit for charity a lot ;D


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## pats place (Jun 24, 2011)

nhauf001 said:


> I think we have all had this experience in one form or another. I have been lucky that I am one of the few in my circle who know how to do 'crafty' things. But I also have my rules, #1 is no thank you, no more hand made gifts, life is too short -- I want to make things that people will enjoy and appreciate. -- but nothing takes away from the joy I get from making something new. -- I also knit for charity a lot ;D


_My thoughts exactly - no "thank you", no more gifts.

This ungrateful, spoiled generation were also raised with parents..perhaps even grandparents....who didn't bother teaching manners to their children....

And the result of a generation or 2 of babysitters, MTV, TEEVEE babysitters, texting, iPODS and all the techno inventions that take away our humanity, ME-ME-ME, and institutionalized childcare where money is more important than teaching children how to behave with respect, gratefulness and manners.

Shame (oops...there IS NO shame anymore) on such ungratefulness. We can easily project ahead to the next generation to see gratefulness, manners dwindle down to only a fond remembrance of oldsters._


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## Pallace (Feb 10, 2011)

Geeze....at least it was your next door neighbor. That happened to me but it was my neice. I'll have to have Thanksgiving dinner with her and the new baby!


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## RitaCarola (Apr 18, 2011)

I am so sorry you had such a bad experience... It is so disappointing when people don't appreciate the time you spent to make a lovely gift... I am fortunate to say that every gift I have made has been appreciated and I live to make gifts for the people I love... My grand/great grand children are the most grateful... They love everything I make for them and they show it with their hugs and kisses... It makes me happy... So go on to the next lovely gift and don"t bother with them...


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## Orilliaknitter (Jun 7, 2011)

Your situation is heart rending. These people have not learned to be appreciative at all, what are they going to teach their own young ones? I hope your joy of knitting will continue and your inner peace grows and grows some more. From the sound of things everyone at the shower got the royal brush-off. I don't think you are alone in refusing to go to wedding showers and such.

We all love you! Does that help? Imagine us all giving you a big hug.
Love Susan


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## CBCAROL (Apr 12, 2011)

Pleclerrc said:


> Sounds like a baby shower I recently attended where guests were asked to self-address an envelope so the mother-to-be could just drop a signed thank you card in the envelope and mail. Beautifully-wrapped gifts were unwrapped prior to the guest of honor's arrival to expedite gift opening. Most gifts were intentionally left on the hanger with pricetag so they could be returned the following week for something else or cash. The mother-to-be never knew who sent what or wrapped it.
> 
> This reminds me of something that happened in Our Family.....
> This was for a Bridal Shower for our Nephew..... His Mother was deceased..... and the same procedure that you just described had happened at the 1st shower for this girl (where my younger sister was attending) so when this shower was planned, my sister told them that I (an Aunt) would be in town at that time & they should invite me..... The answer was NO, as the Bride would probably never see me again.... so my sister Tina, being her outspoken self, said nothing.... BUT - when she went to the Shower She insisted on Personally handing her gift to the Bride-to-be when it was time for the gifts & insisted that She open then and there..... The girl did - and what she opened was Beautifully Professionally wrapped.... and what was inside was:-
> ...


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## sam07671 (May 12, 2011)

bellestarr12 said:


> Pleclerrc said:
> 
> 
> > Sounds like a baby shower I recently attended where guests were asked to self-address an envelope so the mother-to-be could just drop a signed thank you card in the envelope and mail. Beautifully-wrapped gifts were unwrapped prior to the guest of honor's arrival to expedite gift opening. Most gifts were intentionally left on the hanger with pricetag so they could be returned the following week for something else or cash. The mother-to-be never knew who sent what or wrapped it.
> ...


LMAO!!!!! I am so sorry and I don't mean to sound disrespectful. But I had to laugh. You sent your GD a book on kids manners and she never said thank you for it. It is kinda funny. I understand what you were saying but it was the book you sent her that struck me funny. :roll:


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## Donna57 (Jul 27, 2011)

I so agree with all of you. When they children were small all gifts were acknowledged but not anymore. They think they can go on Facebook and say "thanks for all the gifts XJXXJ got at the shower". What is personal and thoughtful about that. I agree with no more gifts though. As much as I enjoy it, I would rather send it to charity then not have an acknowledgement from someone.


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## irishgirl1007 (Aug 21, 2011)

You did a wonderful thing - always remember that. They bare the weight of the rudeness. Example: My friend went to her kids' school with her 2 kids to give the janitor a Christmas present -- again handmade and in a huge basket. She wanted to thank him specially since he helped out so often. The lady at the desk said he was on his break but my friend asked to have him come to the lobby. The janitor came up cursing and yelling that he was on a break. My friend held back tears in front of her kids and gracefully gave the guy the gift. Like you she did a wonderful thing despite his reaction.


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## bellestarr12 (Mar 26, 2011)

sam07671 said:


> bellestarr12 said:
> 
> 
> > Pleclerrc said:
> ...


I know! Me too! And I knew when I sent it that would probably happen, LOL! Ah, well! You just reminded me, my rude DIL also has absolutely no sense of humor, can't see irony or even get the joke in most cases. She sure does take herself seriously - that kind of self-absorption does seem to be a thread running through all our stories. I really don't think she has much fun - she's certainly no fun to be around.


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## sam07671 (May 12, 2011)

CBCAROL said:


> Pleclerrc said:
> 
> 
> > Sounds like a baby shower I recently attended where guests were asked to self-address an envelope so the mother-to-be could just drop a signed thank you card in the envelope and mail. Beautifully-wrapped gifts were unwrapped prior to the guest of honor's arrival to expedite gift opening. Most gifts were intentionally left on the hanger with pricetag so they could be returned the following week for something else or cash. The mother-to-be never knew who sent what or wrapped it.
> ...


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## dijewe (Mar 1, 2011)

Oh we should start a new thread about rude DILs - I have one of those but she is still no match for me


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## DorothyLWM (May 8, 2011)

CBCAROL said:


> Pleclerrc said:
> 
> 
> > Sounds like a baby shower I recently attended where guests were asked to self-address an envelope so the mother-to-be could just drop a signed thank you card in the envelope and mail. Beautifully-wrapped gifts were unwrapped prior to the guest of honor's arrival to expedite gift opening. Most gifts were intentionally left on the hanger with pricetag so they could be returned the following week for something else or cash. The mother-to-be never knew who sent what or wrapped it.
> ...


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## Jansk (May 1, 2011)

I can't stand it when people present you with a gift list. I don't know about you but I can't always afford something off the list or i have already decided what I want to buy/make. I think it is just greed very often, these people want things but want other people to buy the things for them. It is the thought behind the gift that matters not what it costs.
Jan


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## RitaCarola (Apr 18, 2011)

Jansk said:


> I can't stand it when people present you with a gift list. I don't know about you but I can't always afford something off the list or i have already decided what I want to buy/make. I think it is just greed very often, these people want things but want other people to buy the things for them. It is the thought behind the gift that matters not what it costs.
> Jan


I agree!!!


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## cspaen34 (Jan 28, 2011)

_PaKnitter, I am so sorry you have experienced such rudeness and hurt and I am glad you vented your feelings. Looks like many others have been hurt too. It's best when we forgive and then move on, learning from the experience. I see where I am not the only one with some very unappreciative grandchildren. I have a granddaughter who is so loving and thoughtful that she really makes up for all the rest, so feel blest. She is the one I make things for. As for the "registry" business, I detest it. The suggestion to give a box of "Thank You" Notes is a great one--love the humor in that! Have a great day knowing you have lots of fellow crafters right with you._


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## DorothyLWM (May 8, 2011)

> ... The suggestion to give a box of "Thank You" Notes is a great one--love the humor in that! Have a great day knowing you have lots of fellow crafters right with you.


I missed that one. That IS a great idea.


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## dijewe (Mar 1, 2011)

Gift Lists suck the whole pleasure out of gift buying/making/giving.


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## CathyAnn (May 14, 2011)

courier770 said:


> How incredibly rude of both mom and grandmother! On the off chance you are asked about an afghan/blanket in the future..I'd say "gee you know. I'm really pretty busy these days, perhaps you can purchase one already made.".


AMEN!

A couple of months ago, I knitted a baby afghan and two baby hats for my nephew's new baby, expected in about a week. He and his wife have had it for a month now, and I haven't heard one peep from them. Now, the knitting was unsolicited -- I had knitted for my niece's son who was born last January, and didn't want to leave her brother out. My niece did send a very nice thank you note.

Lesson Learned: Consider the source and don't knit anything for the nephew again.


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## gypsie (May 28, 2011)

CBCarol, that was a great story! It made me feel good for some reason! )))))))


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## Bizbea50 (Aug 1, 2011)

You can't expect the daughter to have any manners when it is apparent the mother does not have any.


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## jadancey (May 13, 2011)

Dar19Knits said:


> A gift should be just that ... A gift, not an "order." You can hold your head high as you gave from the heart. Why is it the younger generation has a problem with a proper "thank you."


I think in this case, it's the mother who caused the problem. No wonder the daughter is so rude.


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## Roe (Feb 10, 2011)

I had the same thing happen to me. Really close friends (or so I thought) where having their first child. Without expecting to be invited to the shower, I immediately started knitting a cable and bobble afghan to fit a twin size bed so the child can grow into it and enjoy over the years. Never got invited to the shower which wasn't a problem but never got a thank you and never saw the afghan ever anywhere in the house. When I asked about it I was told it was very pretty. Needless to say 2nd and 3rd child didn't get anything oh I was invited but declined. The old saying what goes around comes around is true - the oldest child is now 18 and their worst nightmare!!


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## Knitnewbie (Mar 8, 2011)

This has generated quite a lot of responses. I look at gift lists as a guide and my purse as the impetus. Some days my purse is generous, some days not so much. Depends on the people involved on some days. If I don't get a thank you note or at a minimum an email or phone call, they get obliterated from my memory, which means no more gifts--period. My children know I'm funny about thank you notes, so they have the grands sit and write a note when I send them things. When they were very young, it would be a hand print. When they learned to write, it was just thank you. Now they add a line about the gift and how much they like it. Grammee is happy and they keep getting presents. I told them, "Old ladies love getting handwritten notes."


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## Orilliaknitter (Jun 7, 2011)

This has nothing to do with manners but I bought a book years ago by Kevin Trudeau about improving my memory. The only thing I remember is the author's name. I've never read the book, I keep forgetting it is there on the shelf. Ah memory, what a wonderful thing it used to be.


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## marceme (Aug 25, 2011)

why do you th ink or they think you are the problem...YOU DID A BLESSING FOR THEM MY SMOM DoES THE SAME THINGS i cant give from my heart i have to give a ORDERED GIFT OR IT IS SOLD AT A CONSINMENT SHOP>>> just know you did the very nice thing and at christmas or another holiday I WOULD MAKE THE MATCHING AFGHAN OR NOW LOL to s how you have the giving loving heart DO A NICE THING FOR THE BABY NOT THE MOM AND GMOM>>> make the matching afghan and give to them... I CAN NEVER AFORD TO GIVE THE GIFTS THAT REQUIRE MONEY>> it is fun to give from the heart... not what you are ordered to give.....


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## Dowager (Jun 7, 2011)

Just to prove not everyone is rude or inconsiderate, This summer I had a chance to meet the lady across the street. She as expecting their 10th child anytime! I thought about that little baby,and how maybe it would only have hand-me-downs as 10 children is a lot to support. So I fouNd a pattern for a quick baby blanket and finished it just in time to give it to her the afternoon when she was scheduled to go to the hospital to have him. about a month after he was born I received a really beautiful thank you card from her, saying she loved the blanket, and when Scout outgrew it, she was planning to put it away for the grandchildren! Now with 10 kinds, this woman has a truly valid excuse for not having time to send thank you notes! But she did anyway! So I am thinking of making the little guy a sweater set too, as I can feel comfortable that it will be appreciated!


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## Orilliaknitter (Jun 7, 2011)

WOW! I love her - and you too! She is brilliant!! I would like to have been a fly on the wall for that event!


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## wilbo (Feb 16, 2011)

I think I would continue to avoid the grandmother. The very idea of being so rude to ANYONE who has made or purchased a gift is unbelievable. I like the "raised by wolves" reference. It fits.


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## littleladybug (May 21, 2011)

Mrs Chief said:


> My only comment on daughters behavior~~~see how her mother acts? The apple does not fall far from the tree. She has learned nothing good at home beause it wasn't taught.


I tried to instill beliefs and values in my children. I have 3. The youngest one turned out the best. I took them to Sunday School, etc. When my two oldest got old enough, they turned their backs on those religious beliefs. My son told me I taught them to make up their own minds. I am still praying for them. My youngest stayed on the straight and narrow. It's not always the parents' fault!


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## PaKnitter (Mar 7, 2011)

Dowager said:


> Just to prove not everyone is rude or inconsiderate, This summer I had a chance to meet the lady across the street. She as expecting their 10th child anytime! I thought about that little baby,and how maybe it would only have hand-me-downs as 10 children is a lot to support. So I fouNd a pattern for a quick baby blanket and finished it just in time to give it to her the afternoon when she was scheduled to go to the hospital to have him. about a month after he was born I received a really beautiful thank you card from her, saying she loved the blanket, and when Scout outgrew it, she was planning to put it away for the grandchildren! Now with 10 kinds, this woman has a truly valid excuse for not having time to send thank you notes! But she did anyway! So I am thinking of making the little guy a sweater set too, as I can feel comfortable that it will be appreciated!


Not that's a beautiful story and thought. And you know with such a large family the new baby will seldom have an outfit that isn't a hand-me-down so I would do it.


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## ParkAvenue (Feb 3, 2011)

That is most certainly rude all around...to put it mildly. One day someone is in a store or somewhere outside is going to see your sweater and hat on the baby and comment on how beautiful they are and how lucky they are to have someone thoughtful enough to put their time and love into a gift. Honestly, some days the more I see people, the more I love animals.


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## DiRaintree (Apr 30, 2011)

Everyone here is wonderful!! I'm answering this one page SEVENTEEN....everyone is outraged at the (not slight but) downright rudeness!! All my friends understand that my upbringing considers it an "insult" to give a "boughten" gift (I know that's not really a word, but it is used by many Amish and Mennonite!). One year at Christmas my in-law's families played the "whose gift took the most time" game. They all own afghans (which get used all the time) and various other things.
Just continue to be your sweet smiling self and that is its own reward!
Hugs from CA!!


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## 2CatsinNJ (Jan 21, 2011)

Wow ! PaKnitter, did you hit a nerve here !! Already 17 pages of comments, all very valid. Many of us have been in such similar positions that it's difficult to sift thru the disappointment (among other emotions) to recall the times when our handiwork was truly appreciated....but those times are there, too. Perhaps the very best thing we can do is to set examples whenever we can,teach good manners no matter how small the gesture might be, in order to get things back on a more polite track . 

I always insisted that our children WRITE thank you notes for any gift. When they asked why, I told them it was the right thing to do, & they saw me writing my own thank-yous as well. When they were small & wrote to my parents, they would be so happy to see the note(or picture)on the 'fridge at their next visit,so there was reinforcement going on here,too.They still write/call with thank-yous today, as grown professionals. Our one DIL is a little lax on this, but I feel that's a sign that there's room for improvement.


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## cbjlinda (May 25, 2011)

I agree with everything everyone else said. the grandmother and the daughter are both incredibly rude! there is absolutely no exscuse for that kind of behaviour. and if she ever does talk to you I would have to say so! That being said " you were incredibly sweet to put all that time into making her gift. consider it a lesson learned.


 PaKnitter said:


> This is a little off topic but I'm still thinking about it so I guess I'm just a little ticked...I knitted a sweater and hat for a baby shower I was invited to. When I rsvp the Grandmother asked me what I planned to buy off the registry and I said nothing as I'm knitting a sweater and hat. She asked if I was knitting a blanket and booties to go with it and I said 'no'. She gave me this look so I said if she wants a matching afghan she can ask me later.
> 
> I did knit two 4" washcloths and bought a Noah's Ark Christmas tree ornament and package of Huggies.
> 
> ...


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## 2CatsinNJ (Jan 21, 2011)

And yes, I have given a box of thank-you notes , gift-wrapped, at showers on more than one occasion. 

One method is to open the box right away,(after it's unwrapped) pass out the envelopes & have each attendee address one to themselves, then give them back to the bride/mother-to-be. That being done, there is absolutely NO EXCUSE for a lack of a thank-you, except abject, deplorable BAD MANNERS !! You can take it one step further & include postage stamps if someone else wants to "go halves" with you on the gift.


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## Andrea in TN (Aug 17, 2011)

Here is what I have decided to do for this unfortunate situation that is so common-- my family is no different. I have started making things and then putting them away for my children's grandchildren. By then , hopefully, they will be old enough to appreciate them and help their children understand the value of homemade gifts. I don't remember being too good at appreciating things in my 20s or 30s either. In my 40s I started to get it. Oh how I wish I had taken care of my grandmother's quilt. Oh how I wish I coud hug her neck and say thanks. sigh


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## Judi44 (May 4, 2011)

What about being able to print out all these pages and just drop them in your neighbours letterbox! but she probably would not get the meaning, regards Judi


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## margie1992 (Apr 27, 2011)

I quit making things for gifts years ago. I will -- very rarely -- make something for someone if I know they will like it and use it. For showers, weddings, graduations, etc., I send a check. I do that rather than send a gift card, because you'd be surprised how many checks never get cashed. I figure if they won't cash checks they won't use a gift card, so I might as well keep the money rather than have it go to some big corporation.


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## Andrea in TN (Aug 17, 2011)

thanks for that tip. I will remember this because some of my grandkids are so reckless and casual about money that I am sure some gift cards never got spent. Probably on the floor under a pile of expensive junk.


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## cspaen34 (Jan 28, 2011)

Dowager, thanks for reminding us that there really are so many good deeds happening around us. You were so very thoughtful to think of a need of the family across the street and they to let you know it was appreciated:thumbup: :thumbup: You've put a positive, and "good feel" spin to this thread! Thanks, Carlene


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## Kathleen's daughter (Jul 31, 2011)

I think that in the good 'ol days when a lot more people had a lot less money, giving basic things for a new-born and to people setting up their own home, would help them out in a very genuine way, and the appreciation would be deep. 

Now, we are all a lot more comfortably-off, and we are able to get basics and fancy things cheaply made in sweatshops by underprivileged peoples, and by machine turned out by the thousands. We no longer have only a work-dress and a Sunday-dress and a good sturdy apron and a pile of newspaper-squares in the outhouse and a glory-box to fill with our painstakingly-crafted linens and baby-wear, and that's it ...

To "compete" we can make something WE think is gorgeous and useful, unique and in top-quality materials - i.e not something in card-thin merino, but thicker. The problem is, that they might not recognize what your thinking is, nor how much effort goes into it, and the thing might be to your unique taste, not to their taste, and besides they can't just toss it into the washing-machine; so you don't get the recognition and appreciation you deserve.

It hurts, but we have to leave our own ego out of it and sometimes think of "pearls before swine" - the swine aren't trampling the pearls into the mud because they're nasty, stupid oafs - they simply don't see things they way you do, and we learn to avoid a repeat. 

Yes; those oafs should've thanked you, if only because to thank someone who's generous is smart, because it encourages more generosity; unless they hated the things you made (eek).

I've made a bit of an essay of this, and no-doubt over-analysed, but obviously it's a common situation.

Must rush - have to get onto the garden and grounds now the weather's good, and "magic" them back to a thing of beauty.
x


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## Andrea in TN (Aug 17, 2011)

I agree and here's a couple of more thumbs for your goodness!!! :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## stubbynose (May 30, 2011)

PAKNITTER!! I too understand your frustration 100% !!! 

UNGRATEFUL is all you can say.....they are ignorant and greedy!!! I made a beautiful hand made quilt for my nephew and my sister in law(not the Mother of the baby) bought him a beautiful snow suit and the mother of the baby never even opened the bags of gifts in front of us, and he is now 3 and we have never received a thank you or even an acknowledgement of them!!! 
Keep knitting and be a little more choosey as to who gets your projects of love!!
There are wonderful and very thankful people out there who will love to get a home made gift!! Please keep knitting and giving!! :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## pug retirement (Jun 5, 2011)

I think its an absolute check asking what you bought for the baby shower. And then asking if you made more stuff. They must think money grows on trees. I would be very annoyed at that.


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## pats place (Jun 24, 2011)

So much on this issue there is even a "venting 11". Great topic and maybe some will take notice and take the time, if they are not already, and realize how very important grandparents and parents are to our yuong ones. All they really want is our love, time and hugs. They will learn from what we give them

Will they rebel...yep...but at least they have the basics and when they grow up...they will not depart from it!!! 

Good manners do matter and respect and thoughtfulness really for others never goes out of style. 

For my children and grand chuildren - I never want to miss an opportunity to teach something good and show them how much I love them. We can never get that time back.

This is a good wake up call! :thumbup:


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## ann bar (Jul 11, 2011)

My daughter-in-law has always sent thank you notes to us. Now our two young grandsons are also doing the same.
Sometimes they are an additional little scribble on the end of hers and sometimes the scribble is sent separately with some little art project for us. We love and appreciate the acknowledgment. My daughter is another story and I know how she was raised...go figure. Love them all anyway.


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## jangail719 (Mar 1, 2011)

Experiences allows us to realize who gets a hand knitted gifts and who does not. I made beautiful sweaters for my MIL and FIL when we were first married. My MIL opened hers and said "Yea" as she looked at it and later I noted she hung it on a hook in the backroom. Never did I waste time knitting for her again. My FIL wore his for many years and though I was biased, he looked very nice in it.
My friend's daughter gave birth last year and I gave her a lovely blanket. Never have I received a thank you. I understand she is pregnant again, but this time there will be no hand knit gift.


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## PaKnitter (Mar 7, 2011)

ParkAvenue said:


> That is most certainly rude all around...to put it mildly. One day someone is in a store or somewhere outside is going to see your sweater and hat on the baby and comment on how beautiful they are and how lucky they are to have someone thoughtful enough to put their time and love into a gift. Honestly, some days the more I see people, the more I love animals.


I doubt the baby will ever wear the sweater and hat if it's like the wedding gifts she received years ago...they left most of it behind with her parents, threw the handmade gifts away. They only wanted the $.

I get the feeling the boyfriend is just happy everyone else is taking care of his baby.


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## Elaine C. (Jul 9, 2011)

PaKnitter said:


> This is a little off topic but I'm still thinking about it so I guess I'm just a little ticked...I knitted a sweater and hat for a baby shower I was invited to. When I rsvp the Grandmother asked me what I planned to buy off the registry and I said nothing as I'm knitting a sweater and hat. She asked if I was knitting a blanket and booties to go with it and I said 'no'. She gave me this look so I said if she wants a matching afghan she can ask me later.
> 
> I did knit two 4" washcloths and bought a Noah's Ark Christmas tree ornament and package of Huggies.
> 
> ...


I do feel badly for you. You took the time to create a lovely baby gifts for the mother to be. I really feel it was rude for the grandmother to be to ask you if you were buying something from the registry. A gift is suppose to come from the heart. You took the time to make a baby sweater, hat and little washcloths. To me..any gift that is made is full of more love.

I really feel the mother to be should of thanked each person for their gift as she opened them. Course this is just me but hearing a *thank you* after each gift is opened is nice.

Again, I am really sorry that you had to go through this. 
Blessings to you...Elaine


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## 4578 (Feb 2, 2011)

For the birth of our first child, we were given a hand sewn flannel blanket. I am sure I expressed thanks and did send a thank you card, however it was not until we had used it through all 3 of our babies that I truly appreciated it. The lady who made it used 2 - 4' squares of lovely quality flannel sewn wrong sides together with soft cotton eyelet lacing on the edges. Twenty six years later, it is still as lovely as when we received it and is being saved for our grandchildren. The giver of the blanket will never know how much her gift has warmed our hearts and our babies (and toddlers) bodies. Actually, it has over the years been pulled out of the linen closet during a winter movie. You made a gift from your heart. Let that knowledge be enough to strengthen you as you forgive and forget and remember the joy you had as you lovingly knitted the gift.


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## 4578 (Feb 2, 2011)

Hi Dawn. I really like the blue shawl you have posted. Could you please give me the pattern name/designer and or where I could get a copy? Thanks. I love knitting and wearing shawls - and a challenge!


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## PaKnitter (Mar 7, 2011)

Really...I am over it as I knew what I was getting into. They expected each invite to fork over 100.00 in gift cards and gifts and invited over 40 people. Yes, they were tacky enough to keep mentioning $100.00. It backfired on them as only 17 people showed up.

I knitted the sweater & hat & washcloths because I knew I could make something nice for just a little bit of money and didn't want to spend more on someone who doesn't speak.

I shop Christmas all year long taking advantage of sales and clearance 'one size fits all' gifts and keep it in a closet. I pulled the Noah's Ark tree ornament out of the box.

I really am over it but as we drove to town today my hubby started where I left off with Amanda not even saying 'hi' and she's been next door 3 times since the shower. And not even a 'thank you' note...bah, bah, bah 

Rude people really do get under our skin, don't they?...lol


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## Andrea in TN (Aug 17, 2011)

I sincerely believe that we reap what we sow. I choose to do what makes me feel good about myself. I don't have much time for such bad manners. You sound like a really nice person and it makes me angrythat they are doing you this way. Good for you not giving into their racketeering.


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## estroe (May 18, 2011)

There is 18 pages to this thread, so maybe this one will not be read, but 8 years ago, my best friend asked me to make her daughter an afghan for her wedding. I choose her favorite color dark green and made a tree of life afghan. After the wedding she opened the gift with her friends and family and just tossed aside the afghan stating that oh it is just home made. My friend was horrified and did not know what to say. But the grooms grandmother picked it up and showed it to everyone, stating that this was made with a lot of love and consideration for the newlyweds. My friend wanted me to know that she did appreciate my work, and that somewhere down the line that generation will also. So you are not the only one who has been shunned. We all have at one point or another. But we gave from the heart and that is all that is important. Keep up the faith.


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## Andrea in TN (Aug 17, 2011)

this thread has been long but it has done more for me than any pill or doctor could. It was very reassuring to know that I am not the only one frustrated by the younger generation. Maybe there is hope for them yet. Thanks I feel better


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## Helen_NZ (Apr 6, 2011)

I'm lucky too! Everyt time I make something for my great neice her mum sends me a photo of her wearing it! It doesn't take much to take a digital photo nowadays! Now I'm just going out to have lunch with them and my sister and I bet little Sarah is wearing one of "my" garments!


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## Andrea in TN (Aug 17, 2011)

that is so nice. Hug her for me!!!


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## dingo (Jun 20, 2011)

They apparently don't realize the value of a handmade item. This girl is lucky her family has a neighbor like you.


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## Judy in oz (Jun 19, 2011)

Look at the MOTHER....her daughter follows in her path ungreatful!!!!!!!!!!

She will never be happy with anything, and expect more....

You made a lovely gift...so-be-it...NO MORE 

judy in oz


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## kneonknitter (Feb 10, 2011)

PaKnitter said:


> This is a little off topic but I'm still thinking about it so I guess I'm just a little ticked...I knitted a sweater and hat for a baby shower I was invited to. When I rsvp the Grandmother asked me what I planned to buy off the registry and I said nothing as I'm knitting a sweater and hat. She asked if I was knitting a blanket and booties to go with it and I said 'no'. She gave me this look so I said if she wants a matching afghan she can ask me later.
> 
> I did knit two 4" washcloths and bought a Noah's Ark Christmas tree ornament and package of Huggies.
> 
> ...


As we say in Yiddish....WHAT CHUTZPAH!!!!


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## shlbycindy (Aug 24, 2011)

I agree, there is no excuse for rudeness. My granddaughter had her first birthday in July and a lady my daughter works with made her a beautiful hat and towel set with her name and initials hand monogrammed on them. She got loads of other gifts but those are the ones I remembered. My daughter sent thank you notes to everyone and included a small picture of my granddaughter wearing any items that were clothing. The daughter is this way because her mother is this way. If I make a gift for someone and they act like they don't like it I don't make them anything else. I guess I'm just tired of rude, thoughtless, people.


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## Orilliaknitter (Jun 7, 2011)

I knit a pretty little blanket for a brand new baby girl (who is now 19yrs.old) and it became her 'deedee' babytalk for blankie. I knit one for her brand new sister and she picked it up and handed to the infant and said, this is your deedee. The dear child didn't know how she touched my heart, she didn't know me at all or that I had knit both blankets.

I almost cried when their grandmother told me that. In that instance, all the thank you in the world couldn't have given me that same joy.

By the way Mom and Dad sent thank you notes for both those gifts and for the one for their son. Showing sincere gratitude is almost a lost art, almost but not completely.


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## Mrs Chief (Mar 24, 2011)

You know, I think this venting has been GOOD for a lot of people. If only the right people are among the readers MAYBE it will do some good. We hope!!!


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## SDKATE57 (Feb 9, 2011)

I am so sorry. I don't know what has happened to a nice short and sweet thank you note from a new mother, a bride, a graduate, whomever. But people just don't seem to have that personal touch anymore. I say I am sorry, because I have nieces and nephews who do the same thing, nothing like a thank you. So I know the feeling of putting something together for someone, and then nothing. I can't believe the nerve of the mother though, how thoughtless.


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## Nanny Mon (May 24, 2011)

RookieRetiree said:


> Don't blame you for being peeved....I would be also. Gifts received may not always be to a recipient's taste (daughter received a very frilly ribbon laced afghan for her baby son)- but that does not remove the need for appreciation for the thought, materials and time that the giver put into the gift....Daughter made a point to go visit the giver with the baby wrapped lovingly in that afghan. I'm not sure the younger generation was learned appreciation ...but I've seen some of them come to that trait later on as the lessons of life's hard knocks season them some....you may still get that thank you...but I'm with you, you don't need to offer up making any other things for her.


Rookie, you can be very, very proud of your daughter, if only others would take a leaf out of her book. How wonderful of her to take her bub wrapped in that afghan for the giver to see, that speaks volumes for your daughter. Give her a special hug from me and I bet all the other ladies reading this. No doubt about it ... you have bought her up well and that and she is a credit to you.


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## Serene Knitter (Aug 22, 2011)

Well, I completely understand how frustrating it is when people are rude or unappreciative.
I do my best to make something that I think that the person either wants or needs. So, when someone clearly does not appreciate that effort I make a note to myself....."Jean Doe - NOT Knit Worthy" and then I do not make them anything, ever again. I have a neice who only gets cash, because that is all she wants and I know that she will just turn up her pert little nose at anything I make....NOT KNIT WORTHY! 
There are plenty of other people who do want my time and attention, so that's where my energy goes.


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## ranee (Jan 23, 2011)

I've done the same thing. I knitted a sweater, blanket, booties, hat and washcloths for my cousins baby shower and never got a thank you card. The same with the young couple across the street I made a blanket for their firstborn I did get averbal thank you but no written. I also agree with all of you that most of the kids today have no manners. I work at a school and there is no respect at all.











i


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## Jessica-Jean (Mar 14, 2011)

No, I haven't read all 19 pages ... yet, but I want to point out one thing that's come up several times in the first two pages.
Some people seem to assume that it's the younger generation who've been poorly raised and don't say their thanks. It was the GRANDMOTHER who began not thanking, and seeming ungrateful in her disappointment that there wasn't more to the gift. 

That's said.

Some people only judge the world shallowly. Look means more to them than quality.

Knitting on ... for the worthy-of-receiving


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## Denise53 (Aug 10, 2011)

Showers have become the "how much loot can I score" affair. I am sad to see this, but I have experienced it. Your gifts will be much appreciated later. I know they will be.


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## Homeshppr (Feb 28, 2011)

You know, we seldom REALLY know how our gifts end up being used, NOT used or even abused (I've heard of many baby blankets becoming pet beds or ending up covered with dirt & grim in garages  ) so we need to do ourselves the favor of imagining them all becoming favorite/most cherished gifts of childhood, wrapping those little ones in love and warmth and soothing them every time they are touched.


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## bilbep (Jun 8, 2011)

I recall when my kids were growing up - if they balked at writing a thank you note, I told them, "If you would find it easier to rewrap the gift in gift wrap - then rewrap to mail & send it back, why don't you do that instead. Your choice." That usually took care of the problem quickly!


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## Nanny Mon (May 24, 2011)

cathy47 said:


> So come next time around like Christmas I will make a sock and put a lump of charcoal in it. See if they get the point then. .


Cathy that is priceless, love it. Still laughing.


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## PaKnitter (Mar 7, 2011)

estroe said:


> There is 18 pages to this thread, so maybe this one will not be read, but 8 years ago, my best friend asked me to make her daughter an afghan for her wedding. I choose her favorite color dark green and made a tree of life afghan. After the wedding she opened the gift with her friends and family and just tossed aside the afghan stating that oh it is just home made. My friend was horrified and did not know what to say. But the grooms grandmother picked it up and showed it to everyone, stating that this was made with a lot of love and consideration for the newlyweds. My friend wanted me to know that she did appreciate my work, and that somewhere down the line that generation will also. So you are not the only one who has been shunned. We all have at one point or another. But we gave from the heart and that is all that is important. Keep up the faith.


I think 'the tree of life' is one of the most beautiful patterns. I wouldn't knit it for just anyone. They truly didn't know what a treasure they had at the time.


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## jltrask (Feb 18, 2011)

I had a friend who didn't let her kids use what they received until after the thank-you was written. But - at the very least, people should say thank you when they receive/open a gift. We taught our kids to do that as soon as they could talk! And to give hugs before that.


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## Pleclerrc (Apr 17, 2011)

Great lesson. Thanks, Patricia


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## Mogurt (Jul 3, 2011)

PaKnitter said:


> This is a little off topic but I'm still thinking about it so I guess I'm just a little ticked...I knitted a sweater and hat for a baby shower I was invited to. When I rsvp the Grandmother asked me what I planned to buy off the registry and I said nothing as I'm knitting a sweater and hat. She asked if I was knitting a blanket and booties to go with it and I said 'no'. She gave me this look so I said if she wants a matching afghan she can ask me later.
> 
> I did knit two 4" washcloths and bought a Noah's Ark Christmas tree ornament and package of Huggies.
> 
> ...


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## nursejaney (Jul 18, 2011)

bilbep said:


> I recall when my kids were growing up - if they balked at writing a thank you note, I told them, "If you would find it easier to rewrap the gift in gift wrap - then rewrap to mail & send it back, why don't you do that instead. Your choice." That usually took care of the problem quickly!


Responses show how much we have all "been there" !! That was the rule in our house when my girls were small, and what they TRIED to instill in their kids. I have one DGD who has YET to mention her Christmas presents, and my hand knitted things for her baby shower are delayed due to Irene. Unless I attend the shower, I doubt that I hear from her -- to my DD's chagrin !


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## ann bar (Jul 11, 2011)

Guess we have to remember when we give them away they are no longer ours. We may have emotional ties of remembering the love and care that went into making it, but that's it.


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## littleladybug (May 21, 2011)

My only brother was murdered 8 years ago. His oldest son is expecting their first baby (a boy) in December. Since my brother won't be here to see and hold his first grandchild, I am knitting him a blanket. I have no idea how it will be received, or even if it will be appreciated. I know it is coming from the heart, and I am doing it in memory of my brother, who was like a twin to me. I may never even see this baby, but I will know...


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## littleladybug (May 21, 2011)

I believe this post was good for us all! Thank you for venting, and giving the rest of us a chance to do the same! I guess you can tell who backs you up! Fellow knitters/crocheters/quilters! )


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## Billie B (Apr 5, 2011)

This has happened several times in my life - no thank you call, notes or even emails. I have done two things about this. I don't send any more gifts, period to these people (they're not family) When it happens with some of my older grandkids -they're at an age where they appreciate money more than presents, and they don't acknowledge receipt, I have decided I will make a contribution in their name to a worthy charity. That way they don't have to worry about thanking me - the charity will! And they really won't be able to complain because what I propose to do is such a worthy cause. 
I believe that's called check-mate!


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## Strega (Mar 21, 2011)

I think the mother-to-be and grandmother are both extremely rude. They should be thrilled with a hand made baby sweater and hat. And what nerve to ask for a blanket and booties to match!! Don't waste your time and yarn on these people any more. I'm sure you have family and friends who would truly appreciate your lovely work.
Carry on, and I hope you get oodles of compliments on your next project.
Strega


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## pattys76 (Apr 7, 2011)

MoMo said:


> My apologies to the wolves!!! I know by personal experience that the animal kingdom has its share of wonderful parents... most natably.... get this... squirrels! They are fabulous parents. and not knowing much about wolves, I just used my mothers' euphemism."raised by wolves". Maybe I should ahv said something else!!! MoMo


 :lol: I remember my mom using that phrase too, usually about us :lol:

We'd just look at her and say "Momma are you a wolf??"

I didn't know this about squirrels. Learn something new every day huh?


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## GrammySandie (Jan 20, 2011)

Unfortunately there are a lot of people that do not know how much love & time goes into knitting a gift for someone else. Anyone can buy something in the store, not everyone can "create" an heirloom. You have a good heart and the recipient obviously has very bad manners.


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## pattys76 (Apr 7, 2011)

littleladybug said:


> This is definitely off topic, but here goes....I told my grown daughter and grown son that I wasn't celebrating Christmas this year, because I felt that everyone is forgetting the true meaning of the holiday! That my daughter acted offended because I wanted to play a Christmas carol in my own house! No more knocking myself out to try and please everyone anymore! I will buy one present for each grandchild, and go to church on Christmas eve, instead of accomodating everyone else! Going to start sticking to my values! And about time!


You Rock!! I completely agree with your feelings!


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## pam henderson (Jun 24, 2011)

what a nice thing you did for neighbours daughter but a lesson learnt some people are very rude when things like this happen to me i back right away and do not get involved with those people again


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## pattys76 (Apr 7, 2011)

knittingpagan said:


> ok ladies i get that we are all pretty peeved for ourselves and each other but might i point out that not alll of the people in the younger generation (Myself included) are inconsiderate and rude. yes some are but some from the older generations are too thats where the younger ones learned it from. so from one of the younger generation traing the next after me (i have 3 very polite and apreciative kids who love everything they get even if they already own it.) please don't tar us all with the same brush


I agree. We can't blame everything on the "Younger Generation" It's the parents that teach them how to behave. Both of my kids will hold the door open for people, (this is usually at the Post Office), whether they get thank yous or not. I just asked my daughter (she just turned 20) if people say thank you when she holds the door for them. She said most do, but if someone doesn't she just assumes they are distracted and doesn't hold it against them. My son is 26 and autistic, pretty high functioning and he loves to hold doors open for people. And they have been taught to at least call and acknowledge gifts. My son doesnt really understand the concept, but he will say thank you if I call the giver. They know him and that's really more than they expect.


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## Jaki (Apr 5, 2011)

I believe that you have done more than necessary for this ungrateful wretch! Hold your head up high lovely, because you are a pearl amongst swine! Don't feel miffed - feel proud! After all ... only the inadequate need constant admiration, presents and attention to booster their morale! On a personal basis - I, and my knitting sisters here in the UK, think you're a star!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:


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## SimplyGran (Jul 9, 2011)

Yes, Christmas should be celebrated in the spirit for which it is. I love to start early in playing the many Christmas Carols, NOT just songs about snow and the gifts and the mistletoe. I once had a DIL who complained that the prayer I prayed for our Thanksgiving meal was too long. Now what does that tell you about her? So, with that being said, I see the thankless ones far too entrenched in their earthly lives seeking self gratification and only thinking of their own desires. 
John 13:34 and Romans 12:10 (and many more). We all seem to be touched in many ways by this sad incident. How about allowing it to draw us all closer together, sight unseen, imperfections and all?


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## Pleclerrc (Apr 17, 2011)

littleladybug said:


> My only brother was murdered 8 years ago. His oldest son is expecting their first baby (a boy) in December. Since my brother won't be here to see and hold his first grandchild, I am knitting him a blanket. I have no idea how it will be received, or even if it will be appreciated. I know it is coming from the heart, and I am doing it in memory of my brother, who was like a twin to me. I may never even see this baby, but I will know...


You may be suprised and find that the new parents will cherish your blanket and treat it well so that it will be an heirloom for the baby to pass on to his/her family. Let's hope. Patricia


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## rene (Jan 23, 2011)

I'm with (and wholeheartily agree) with Courier on this. I just can't believe that anyone could be so rude. You did good and don't worry about what they think. It's not good to let things like that bother you. Rene


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## mavisb (Apr 18, 2011)

On Saturday just gone, I held my daughter's baby shower at my house as the girl that was going to have it was moving so couldn't have it at her house. There was about twelve adults, about six children, one man (my son) and a friends son. There was plenty of food, games and a good laugh. My place was a pigsty when finished, but I didn't mind. My daughter got some wonderful gifts and she said a big thank you to everyone as they left my house which was quite late in the afternoon. I am sorry your neighbour wasn't so nice to you. You can't help them have good manners, and you should hold your head high as you did nothing wrong.


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## marceme (Aug 25, 2011)

you are blessed with the neighbors you have... no one in my neighbor hood would accept the b lankets... or anything i make i gave someone a botholder and she never thanks me ... she totally ignores me now...


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## SueSch (Mar 18, 2011)

you did the right thing in giving the hand made (and better gift ) they did the wrong thing with bad manners and no appreciation of the really precious things of life __they will never learn what they are missing out on-- but you can always smile !


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## BTRFLY (Mar 2, 2011)

I could not agree with you more Andrea. My mother was a beautiful knitter, and she made my children some really beautiful things. I am ashamed to say, that I don't think I appreciated them as much as I do now. I was only 30 years old when died, and I think it is so true that the older you get the more you appreciate things. I appreciated them, but just not like I do now. I had three children under the age of 5, so I was too busy myself to knit and didn't realize the time that went into such treasures. I think I got the love of knitting from her. Thank you mom!


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## Andrea in TN (Aug 17, 2011)

thank you for the lovely story. It touched my heart too


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## Andrea in TN (Aug 17, 2011)

Marcene , your beautiful, giving heart needs an outlet. Contact some of the charities in town or your local hospital. Somewhere closeby, is someone who will love and appreciate your gifts. God knows your heart. Do not give up.


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## Serene Knitter (Aug 22, 2011)

Homeshppr said:


> You know, we seldom REALLY know how our gifts end up being used, NOT used or even abused (I've heard of many baby blankets becoming pet beds or ending up covered with dirt & grim in garages  ) so we need to do ourselves the favor of imagining them all becoming favorite/most cherished gifts of childhood, wrapping those little ones in love and warmth and soothing them every time they are touched.


I knit socks for my Dad. He loves hand knit socks and he wears them all the time. My Mom says that she has to take them to wash them because he does not like to give them up (he has several pair and the socks I am knitting for the KAL are for Dad, too). Mom says he even wears them to bed! Yup, Dad is definitely KNIT WORTHY!


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## PauletteB (Mar 10, 2011)

I am trully Blessed. When I have knitted for family and friends they all show appreciation. I have knitted baby Blankets for co-workers who were just waiting for the gift. The problem with the grandmother and daughter is they have no appreciation nor can they see beyond the nose on their faces. There will come a day when the will wish the had someone who would create something for them.


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## inishowen (May 28, 2011)

marceme said:


> you are blessed with the neighbors you have... no one in my neighbor hood would accept the b lankets... or anything i make i gave someone a botholder and she never thanks me ... she totally ignores me now...


I'm trying to understand what a botholder is! If you have horrid neighbours just make things for charity.


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## Andrea in TN (Aug 17, 2011)

I think it was a typo for pot holder


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## 12773 (Mar 21, 2011)

I honestly think all this gimmee attitude began with Dr. Spock (remember him?). He lost me as an admirer when I read his idea of not disciplining kids because it might damage their psyche. Well, even today, undisciplined kids (of any age) damage my psyche. 
I'm wondering if kids are still taught penmanship?. I see a lot of people on TV holding their pencils with their thumb wrapped around instead of under the pencil.


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## Marny CA (Jun 26, 2011)

I don't have to worry about grandchildren gifts -- my son has yet to tell me he and his wife have 2 children - about 8 and 2.

People here in Knitting Paradise sent me birthday wishes - and I loved the surprises!!!

My daughter remembered, for which I am grateful.


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## Serene Knitter (Aug 22, 2011)

inishowen said:


> marceme said:
> 
> 
> > you are blessed with the neighbors you have... no one in my neighbor hood would accept the b lankets... or anything i make i gave someone a botholder and she never thanks me ... she totally ignores me now...
> ...


I think it is a simple typo...try Potholder.
I am one of those odd people who gives a gift and then forgets about it. I cannot tell you how often I have given someone something and then a year or two later admired it and they look at me funny and say, "Well YOU gave it to me!" Oh...
Once I crocheted a very lacy shawl for a lady at church for her daughters wedding. Months late I was sitting in church behind someone who was wearing an amazingly lovely shawl. I slowly inched over behind the woman wearing it and as I studied the lace pattern I realized the woman wearing it was the one I have made a shawl for, then realized that the shawl she had been wearing was the one I had made! Oh boy, I sure felt sheepish!
The bottom line is this, give a gift and if the one receiving it does not like it or treats it with disdain then cross them off your list for hand crafted delights. If they thank you and seem grateful then don't worry where it ends up, just go on about your business and be happy.


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## inishowen (May 28, 2011)

Andrea in TN said:


> I think it was a typo for pot holder


Of course, I get it now.


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## inishowen (May 28, 2011)

Marny CA said:


> I don't have to worry about grandchildren gifts -- my son has yet to tell me he and his wife have 2 children - about 8 and 2.
> 
> People here in Knitting Paradise sent me birthday wishes - and I loved the surprises!!!
> 
> My daughter remembered, for which I am grateful.


That's so sad that your son and his wife don't communicate with you. I guess there must have been a family rift. Is there so way back? It's none of my business, but life is short.


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## nanapwc (Apr 20, 2011)

I feel the same way, it is very irritating to not get a response of any kind when you have made something from the heart for someone. I made a shawl and a hat for DIL's aunt who has breast cancer and has undergone chemo and now is have radiation treatments. I mailed it to her and it has been at least a week now and not any kind of response from her. I've only met her once or twice but I've been sending messages of encouragement on her caringbridge site. Maybe one day I'll hear something. It could be that she's not feeling very good right now.


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## Twostarmom (Jul 12, 2011)

I hope that some day this young woman (and her grandmother) will understand the time and the love that went into these gifts.
I am knitting an afghan for our daughter who is in Afghanistan and will send it for Christmas. My 6 year old grandson said to me the other day, "Grandma, your Afghan for mommy is going to be beautiful." As a fairly new knitter, these words just made my day. And I agree with MoMo - don't let this ruin your outlook. You've got a lot of goodness to share - hopefully this young mom to be will appreciate it.


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## mjs (Mar 3, 2011)

mk said:


> I honestly think all this gimmee attitude began with Dr. Spock (remember him?). He lost me as an admirer when I read his idea of not disciplining kids because it might damage their psyche. Well, even today, undisciplined kids (of any age) damage my psyche.
> I'm wondering if kids are still taught penmanship?. I see a lot of people on TV holding their pencils with their thumb wrapped around instead of under the pencil.


I don't think that is at all what Spock said. I think he was the victim of people who did not like his anti-war stance and vilified him unfairly in other ways.


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## grandmann (Feb 4, 2011)

BTRFLY said:


> I could not agree with you more Andrea. My mother was a beautiful knitter, and she made my children some really beautiful things. I am ashamed to say, that I don't think I appreciated them as much as I do now. I was only 30 years old when died, and I think it is so true that the older you get the more you appreciate things. I appreciated them, but just not like I do now. I had three children under the age of 5, so I was too busy myself to knit and didn't realize the time that went into such treasures. I think I got the love of knitting from her. Thank you mom!


I happen to agree with you. My Aunt is deceased but she used to make quilts. One of the quilts she made, my granddaughter is now using. I appreciated it more now than I did then. I must have appreciated because I kept it for 32 yrs. But I don't even remember thanking her for the quilt. Hopefully I can reach her in Heaven to Thank her.


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## pattys76 (Apr 7, 2011)

I like the way my Niece handled it with her wedding registry, she had some things on there that were VERY expensive, (Chargers for $197.00 EACH!!) I told my brother and SIL that their daughter had Champaigne tastes and I was on a water budget. They told me that my simply being able to come to her wedding was gift enough. My brother is a very successful man, self made (with a lot of encouragement from my SIL), but he has not forgotten where we came from and is still the same person inside. My Niece is a lawyer in San Francisco, and her new husband is in computers some way. I am now knitting her an afghan, Feather and Fan, California king size. Another niece showed my daughter how to do the pattern, and I told another sister that I would like to make the bride an afghan in that. She said that if I would make her one too, she would buy the yarn for both. My sister is a quilter, and my niece really appreciates the work that goes into hand made items.

My point after the novel here is to not give up, you made beautiful things, and should be proud of your work. Don't let their bad manners get you frustrated.


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## swtpeapati (May 20, 2011)

Sounds like this new grandmother is used to controlling her daughter and that's a sad state! BLESSINGS on you for your generosity!!! patti


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## pats place (Jun 24, 2011)

*Courtesy is as much a mark of a gentleman (gentlewoman) as courage.
Theodore Roosevelt
*


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## Juleen (Jun 3, 2011)

What an awesome creed to live by!


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## knitcrochetlover (Feb 1, 2011)

PaKnitter said:


> This is a little off topic but I'm still thinking about it so I guess I'm just a little ticked...I knitted a sweater and hat for a baby shower I was invited to. When I rsvp the Grandmother asked me what I planned to buy off the registry and I said nothing as I'm knitting a sweater and hat. She asked if I was knitting a blanket and booties to go with it and I said 'no'. She gave me this look so I said if she wants a matching afghan she can ask me later.
> 
> I did knit two 4" washcloths and bought a Noah's Ark Christmas tree ornament and package of Huggies.
> 
> ...


I understand how you feel. I have had similar situations but this last time it was appreciated. I made a blanket for my step daughters baby girl (knew it was girl before shower). Everyone at her shower loved the blanket. It is the baby's favorite blankie also. Anyway, another blanket I had made for a woman, I didn't even get a thank you and I found out she never used it either. What a bummer. Every time you knit or crochet any item, it is from the heart no matter what. I still knit and crochet and even if I don't have it for a specific reason, I know that someone will want it and will appreciate the gift. As for telling the daughter what she is getting before hand is certainly not the right thing to do. I never tell what I am giving and my usual answer when asked is You Will See.


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## nana1946 (Aug 26, 2011)

That's terrible!! People are so rude. I knit a baby blanket for my new nephew last year. It was patterned and took some time. I couldn't attend since I am about 2000 miles away. I sent the blanket several weeks before the shower. I finally received a thank you note several months later. My sister-ion-law asked to see it and was told, "I have stored it away." Now just what does that mean? I got the impression the baby will NEVER be wrapped in it. I think people don't recognize these handmade gifts come from the heart and are made with a lot of love. I'm so sorry you had this experience!!


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## knitcrochetlover (Feb 1, 2011)

nana1946 said:


> That's terrible!! People are so rude. I knit a baby blanket for my new nephew last year. It was patterned and took some time. I couldn't attend since I am about 2000 miles away. I sent the blanket several weeks before the shower. I finally received a thank you note several months later. My sister-ion-law asked to see it and was told, "I have stored it away." Now just what does that mean? I got the impression the baby will NEVER be wrapped in it. I think people don't recognize these handmade gifts come from the heart and are made with a lot of love. I'm so sorry you had this experience!!


Stored away, now what is up with that? I get the same impression. I agree many don't realize that hand gifts are from the heart and made with love. At least you did get a thank you, but really, why not use it until the baby out grows it? I will never understand this.


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## CBCAROL (Apr 12, 2011)

Marny CA said:


> I don't have to worry about grandchildren gifts -- my son has yet to tell me he and his wife have 2 children - about 8 and 2.
> 
> People here in Knitting Paradise sent me birthday wishes - and I loved the surprises!!!
> 
> My daughter remembered, for which I am grateful.


Oh - How sad, Marny CA..... You can adopt my grands, "
"at least in your thoughts", (I really will NOT give any of them up)....... 
their names are: Kristen, Adam, Ryan, Nicholas, Dominic, Patrick, James, Nickolas, Rachel, Maria, Melissa, Melanie, Nathan, Keenan and great-grands: Kalib, Brooklyn, Derek & Elizabeth......
Even all of them as toddlers, would put a couple of lines or try to make circles for 'kisses & hugs' on cards...... and I am always getting their 'special' drawings......
Hugs, CBCarol


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## Orilliaknitter (Jun 7, 2011)

I heard a saying, 'this is more for show than blowl' I hope to heaven that people realize we want our gifts to be USED, not hidden away or just on display. For pity's sake, wrap up the baby, hang the towel on the oven door, wash your face with the facecloth. Pull yourselves together, you recipients of our loving gifts, we want you to feel our love!!


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## knitcrochetlover (Feb 1, 2011)

Orilliaknitter said:


> I heard a saying, 'this is more for show than blowl' I hope to heaven that people realize we want our gifts to be USED, not hidden away or just on display. For pity's sake, wrap up the baby, hang the towel on the oven door, wash your face with the facecloth. Pull yourselves together, you recipients of our loving gifts, we want you to feel our love!!


Right on!!!


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## PaKnitter (Mar 7, 2011)

My daughters wrote their own 'thank you's at an early age with a scribble here and there.


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## newquay (Apr 26, 2011)

The daughter is a reflection of the mother-such a shame. 
Some people are just unaware of the nicetease (can't get the word right, but you know what I mean) of life.

Peace,
Joyce


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## Dsynr (Jun 3, 2011)

U ARE NOT THE ONE AT FAULT. JUST LET GO AND LET GOD. HE WILL SORT IT ALL OUT PERFECTLY.

ONE OF MY SISTER'S FAVOURITE COMMENTS COMES TO MIND:
IF [HE/SHE] HAD A BRAIN, [HE/SHE]WOULD BE DANGEROUS!
GRANNIE NEVER LET US BE RUDE. SHE'D GIVE US "THE LOOK" AND ADD, "THOSE WITHOUT COURTESY ARE THOSE WITHOUT SELF-RESPECT." 
IT WAS LIKE A SLAP IN THE FACE. U CAN SEE HOW WE WERE EXTRA-CAREFUL TO USE OUR MANNERS WHEN GRANNIE WAS AROUND!
PEOPLE ARE HAVING CHILDREN TOO YOUNG, BEFORE THEY EVER HAVE A CHANCE TO GET SOME EXPERIENCE AND LEARN HOW TO LIVE THEMSELVES. UNFORTUNATELY, THIS SEEMS TO BE GOING ON INTO THE NEXT GENERATION, AND THE NEXT. IT ALWAYS HURTS ME TO SEE A TOO-YOUNG MOTHER DRAGGING THE LITTLE ONE ALONG THE STREET, OBLIVIOUS TO THE LENGTH OF THEIR STUMBLING, LITTLE LEGS.
GOOD MANNERS HAVE TO BE TAUGHT. IT TAKES TIME, BUT THEY REMEMBER THEM WHEN THEY GROW UP. AT LEAST, U KNOW THEY KNOW THEM AND CAN USE THEM AT WILL. I KNO. I'M BABBLING AGAIN!


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## mjs (Mar 3, 2011)

Dsynr said:


> U ARE NOT THE ONE AT FAULT. JUST LET GO AND LET GOD. HE WILL SORT IT ALL OUT PERFECTLY.
> 
> ONE OF MY SISTER'S FAVOURITE COMMENTS COMES TO MIND:
> IF [HE/SHE] HAD A BRAIN, [HE/SHE]WOULD BE DANGEROUS!
> ...


I think there are probably older parents who think their kids should be able to whatever they want and take no responsibility for anything. I have been horrified at parents and kids who think they can just use anyone else's property any way they choose. There does not seem to be a concept of saying no.


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## mjs (Mar 3, 2011)

Dsynr said:


> U ARE NOT THE ONE AT FAULT. JUST LET GO AND LET GOD. HE WILL SORT IT ALL OUT PERFECTLY.
> 
> ONE OF MY SISTER'S FAVOURITE COMMENTS COMES TO MIND:
> IF [HE/SHE] HAD A BRAIN, [HE/SHE]WOULD BE DANGEROUS!
> ...


Since I am originally from NYS I checked google to see where Laurelton is. That has a really interesting history.


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## kneonknitter (Feb 10, 2011)

mjs said:


> Dsynr said:
> 
> 
> > U ARE NOT THE ONE AT FAULT. JUST LET GO AND LET GOD. HE WILL SORT IT ALL OUT PERFECTLY.
> ...


My grands 7 & 9 send thank you notes because their mom does because that's what I taught my children. My son thinks a phone call will suffice & sometimes it will but, other times it won't & that is just plain rude. My favorite saying raising my 3 (& still is) 'EXCUSE ME??? Have you left your manners in your back pocket? Please get them out & USE them!!'


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## mjs (Mar 3, 2011)

kneonknitter said:


> mjs said:
> 
> 
> > Dsynr said:
> ...


I'm grateful to get a thankyou in any form, including e-mail. On the other hand, I'm saving because two birthday gifts I used to give I don't any more.


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## Dsynr (Jun 3, 2011)

AMISH AND MENNONITE AREN'T THE ONLY ONES WHO SAY "BOUGHTEN" AND "HOMEMADE", MUH DEAR!

ME, I'D RATHER GET A "HOMEMADE" GIFT ANY DAY; BUT I KNO FOLKS WHO'D TURN UP THEIR NOSE AT ONE. 
MOST OF THE FOLKS ON THE MORNING COMMUTE TO WORK WHO HAVE SEEN ME CROCHETING MY DAUGHT'S "BLANKIE" FOR THE PAST FEW MONTHS ARE SURPRISED AT THE TIME INVOLVED, THE FROGGING, THE STITCH COUNTING....
ONE LADY SAID SHE NEVER KNEW IT WAS "SO MUCH WORK TO MAKE ONE OF THOSE THINGS"
I THOUGHT TO MYSELF, WHY DO U THINK IT'S CALLED HANDWORKED, DUMMY, BUT I REMEMBERED MY MANNERS AND KP AND JUST SMILED. 
GRANNIE WOULD BE SOOOO PROUD.


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## wilbo (Feb 16, 2011)

Andrea in TN said:


> Here is what I have decided to do for this unfortunate situation that is so common-- my family is no different. I have started making things and then putting them away for my children's grandchildren. By then , hopefully, they will be old enough to appreciate them and help their children understand the value of homemade gifts. I don't remember being too good at appreciating things in my 20s or 30s either. In my 40s I started to get it. Oh how I wish I had taken care of my grandmother's quilt. Oh how I wish I coud hug her neck and say thanks. sigh


The quilt story hit home with me. When DH and I got married he came with a dog eared pastel yellow double wedding ring quilt that his grandmother had made. His mother had given it to him years earlier. After having it for forty years, it occured to me to try and restore it. The batting and back side were in ok shape, but the top had many pieces that had come unsewn and two that had frayed to the point I had to replace them. It was patchwork, so I was able to do that inconspicuously. My MIL is near 90 yrs old, so one day when she visited, I reminded her that her mother had made it and would she like to have it back since I had repaired it. Tears came in her eyes as she fondly remembered that quilt. She could not stop thanking me. I then learned the value of family heirlooms.


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## PaKnitter (Mar 7, 2011)

It is so nice to hear we have quilters in the group. I have a 81 year old friend who is showing/teaching me to handquilt as I've always been interested. She is making her youngest daughter a king size quilt and I'm not sure I should be touching it but...she is terminally ill and I think she is trying to do as much as possible. And she tells me the time we spend together keeps her mind off of her illness.


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## PittyPat (Jul 2, 2011)

I totally empathize with your situation. No.1, in the South , the grandmother does not give a baby shower for her own daughter, this is done by a favorite Aunt or a friend. No.2 , the mother -to-be was not taught graciousness. My mother repeatedly taught me how to say a proper "thank you", how to write meaningful thank you notes, and basically how to be appreciative. You made a lovely gift, gave it with your heart and our Lord knows you are a gracious giver. PittyPat


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## mousepotato (May 30, 2011)

PaKnitter said:


> This is a little off topic but I'm still thinking about it so I guess I'm just a little ticked...I knitted a sweater and hat for a baby shower I was invited to. When I rsvp the Grandmother asked me what I planned to buy off the registry and I said nothing as I'm knitting a sweater and hat. She asked if I was knitting a blanket and booties to go with it and I said 'no'. She gave me this look so I said if she wants a matching afghan she can ask me later.
> 
> I did knit two 4" washcloths and bought a Noah's Ark Christmas tree ornament and package of Huggies.
> 
> ...


When asked I tell people that I look at gift registries as suggestions and use them as a guide to the recipients wants and needs but choose the gifts I will give on my own. In my opinion, registries are good ideas for those who have no idea what to give someone, but they aren't the Sears catalog.


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## nanapwc (Apr 20, 2011)

I commented yesterday about a shawl and hat I had made for my DIL's aunt who has undergone chemo & radiation for breast cancer and that I hadn't received any correspondence in the way of a "Thank You" or anything. Welllll-- Yesterday when I got home from work, there was a Thank You note in the mail from her. She said she felt really honored and would cherish it and that it was such a surprise.
Made me feel better.


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## Dsynr (Jun 3, 2011)

CBCAROL said:


> Pleclerrc said:
> 
> 
> > Sounds like a baby shower I recently attended where guests were asked to self-address an envelope so the mother-to-be could just drop a signed thank you card in the envelope and mail. Beautifully-wrapped gifts were unwrapped prior to the guest of honor's arrival to expedite gift opening. Most gifts were intentionally left on the hanger with pricetag so they could be returned the following week for something else or cash. The mother-to-be never knew who sent what or wrapped it.
> ...


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## bizzyknitter (May 10, 2011)

I don't have a sister but if I did I would want yours.


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## Jaki (Apr 5, 2011)

I really like the sound of your sister! Give her a hug from me in the UK xxxx


Dsynr said:


> CBCAROL said:
> 
> 
> > Pleclerrc said:
> ...


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## nanapwc (Apr 20, 2011)

That's wonderful !!! More people should be like that.


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## PaKnitter (Mar 7, 2011)

I am happy your 'thank you' arrived in the mail and she was delighted with your gift nanapwc.

And Dsynr...in my next life time I want to be just like your sister.


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## yellowrose741 (Mar 3, 2011)

Prepare yourself with the name of a local yarn store that offers classes and give her the name if she asks for an afghan


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## Orilliaknitter (Jun 7, 2011)

nanapwc said:


> I commented yesterday about a shawl and hat I had made for my DIL's aunt who has undergone chemo & radiation for breast cancer and that I hadn't received any correspondence in the way of a "Thank You" or anything. Welllll-- Yesterday when I got home from work, there was a Thank You note in the mail from her. She said she felt really honored and would cherish it and that it was such a surprise.
> Made me feel better.


Your situation reminds me of one when I was still a medical secretary. Your DIL's aunt likely had fatigue issues and sent out her notes when she felt better. One of my secretary friends called a patient to get the health card version code and felt absolutely horrible when the people told her the patient had died. They took a strip off her for being insensitive. She didn't know, and she is a very sensitive person. She felt terrible for days.

Thankfully, most of the situations we are hearing about here are about ingrates who don't have a lick of common decency regarding gifts they have received.


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## Dsynr (Jun 3, 2011)

PaKnitter said:


> I am happy your 'thank you' arrived in the mail and she was delighted with your gift nanapwc.
> 
> And Dsynr...in my next life time I want to be just like your sister.


Sry, Pakn. That was Pleclerrc's sister. My offer to adopt her still stands. I wonder why nobody answered it... 

My late sisters: 'Nita was a soft-hearted, sweet girl who would have just prayed for them; but Jo, I can't be too sure. I can just see 'Nita dragging Jo away from somebody, smiling and saying, 'Excuse us. Now Jo, mind your halo...'


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## marcylka (Apr 8, 2011)

I certainly understand how you feel, as some of my handmade gifts go un-thank you'ed as well, and mainly by my only blood neice  My son on the other hand, knows how to say thank you in person, although in this technology age, getting him to sit down and physically hand write a thank you was very hard. Thankfully, too, nearly all of the recipients of my hand made gifts, whether quilted, sewn, crocheted, knitted or something else, usually generate a gracious thank you or the proverbial "you made this?!?" It is really frustrating when the general public don't have a clue of what went into hand making whatever item and when they request you make them something, then when you tell them how much, they scoff or look at you like you are a one eyed martian or something.

After all that said.....brush it off, don't let it dampen your creativeness, it is a gift from God what we all here can do what we do, and there are people out there who do appreciate hand made items.


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## aem (Apr 14, 2011)

You are so right about the younger generation----they dont know how to say "thank you". I had a friend who's grandkids forgot thankyous. So for the next Christmas she sent each of them a box of thank you cards!!! I never did find out if it worked!


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## PaKnitter (Mar 7, 2011)

Dsynr said:


> PaKnitter said:
> 
> 
> > I am happy your 'thank you' arrived in the mail and she was delighted with your gift nanapwc.
> ...


And I still want to be like her in my second life...lol


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## Kathleen's daughter (Jul 31, 2011)

Well, I was a grown-up today, and telephoned my relatives who don't thank me or even acknowledge receipt of the stuff I send for my other grand daughter, compared with the ones who do and who are most reassuring.

I said I was worried that I was just making a nuisance of myself since they don't say anything when I send stuff, and when I ask for her measurements so things will fit.

My d.i.l said she was sorry and kept meaning to, and kept forgetting because she was tired (both working crazy-hard, that's true) but that they certainly like the things, they fit properly, (she's 3 but as tall as a 5yr-old) and that grand daughter wears them lots, and that whether I make them in acrylic or wool is for me to decide, when I said acrylic is a lot cheaper. I'll use acrylic, as they've been washing the wool in Napisan (the sweet innocent things).

I'm glad I grasped the nettle, and can recommend it, as I was feeling darned sorry for myself, and at least now I know that how I'm regarded is not as I'd pessimistically and resentfully imagined.

However; I must "get-a-life" and have some tiny cheapo holidays now the weather's o.k for cycle-touring as maybe having earthquakes every day's unsettling (ya think?)


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## kneonknitter (Feb 10, 2011)

Kathleen's daughter said:


> Well, I was a grown-up today, and telephoned my relatives who don't thank me or even acknowledge receipt of the stuff I send for my other grand daughter, compared with the ones who do and who are most reassuring.
> 
> I said I was worried that I was just making a nuisance of myself since they don't say anything when I send stuff, and when I ask for her measurements so things will fit.
> 
> ...


Good for you! Sometimes we just have to grab the bull by the horns & be a better person. I had knit my niece a very expensive coat & never heard a word from her about it. I swore to never knit another thing for her ever again. When my dear sister died recently, I stayed with her family for a month to help them settle into their new lives without her. As the time got closer for me to leave, my niece came home from work one day & told me that she saw a beautiful vest on the cover of a knitting magazine that afternoon & she would love to have it. I bit my tongue (HARD...ouch) & politely asked what it looked like. Her face glowed while she described it to me & ended with..."& since I love the coat you made me & wear it all the time I was kinda hoping you would make me this vest.' Bada bing! There went all my resolve & I told her to bring me home the magazine the next day so I can see the pattern. The vest calls for 18 balls of yarn so I told her that I would buy the yarn when I got home because I would need a small suitcase just for the yarn if I bought it in Albuquerque. Well, I got the yarn (thanks Smiley's!!) & it is the next project in my queue to get on the needles. All it takes is just a semblance of appreciation to get our needles clicking.


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## nancy863 (Aug 2, 2011)

I have been blessed in that all my handmade gifts have been very well received. I can not count the number of babies that have come home from the hospital in one my my hand crocheted outfits. I have seen many wonderous things on this site made by all of you god gifted women and it makes me proud to be a part of this all.

Nancy


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## Kathleen's daughter (Jul 31, 2011)

Thank-you and I'm so glad it worked out for you too, the way it did. Big hugs,


kneonknitter said:


> Kathleen's daughter said:
> 
> 
> > Well, I was a grown-up today, and telephoned my relatives who don't thank me or even acknowledge receipt of the stuff I send for my other grand daughter, compared with the ones who do and who are most reassuring.
> ...


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## Christi (Feb 3, 2011)

littleladybug said:


> My only brother was murdered 8 years ago. His oldest son is expecting their first baby (a boy) in December. Since my brother won't be here to see and hold his first grandchild, I am knitting him a blanket. I have no idea how it will be received, or even if it will be appreciated. I know it is coming from the heart, and I am doing it in memory of my brother, who was like a twin to me. I may never even see this baby, but I will know...


I am sorry about your brother. :-(


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## pamgillies1 (Aug 6, 2011)

So sorry about your brother but I am sure the blanket will be appreciated.


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## Andrea in TN (Aug 17, 2011)

i am sorry for your loss. The blanket is a wonderful idea.


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## Dsynr (Jun 3, 2011)

KneonKnitter---U R SOOOOOO SPECIAL! I hope she realizes what a gem U R! :-D


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## kneonknitter (Feb 10, 2011)

Dsynr said:


> KneonKnitter---U R SOOOOOO SPECIAL! I hope she realizes what a gem U R! :-D


Why thank you! I think she does, she's just an ingrate lololol. Not really. She's a good kid with a mildly autistic 14 year old. She is also my Goddaughter so there isn't much I can refuse her anyway. ;-)


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## littleladybug (May 21, 2011)

Christi said:


> littleladybug said:
> 
> 
> > My only brother was murdered 8 years ago. His oldest son is expecting their first baby (a boy) in December. Since my brother won't be here to see and hold his first grandchild, I am knitting him a blanket. I have no idea how it will be received, or even if it will be appreciated. I know it is coming from the heart, and I am doing it in memory of my brother, who was like a twin to me. I may never even see this baby, but I will know...
> ...


Thank you.


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## littleladybug (May 21, 2011)

pamgillies1 said:


> So sorry about your brother but I am sure the blanket will be appreciated.


Thank you.


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## littleladybug (May 21, 2011)

Andrea in TN said:


> i am sorry for your loss. The blanket is a wonderful idea.


Thank you.


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## Dakota Sun (May 25, 2011)

I do not blame you for being ticked off. People are so rude. As the old saying goes do on to others as you would of done and what comes around goes around. Some day this young lady will get paid back for being so rude. You are special for making her a sweater and hat. This gift was from the heart. To me this kind of gift means more than any boughten gift. Would love to have a nice neighbor like you. 
Dakota Sun


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## pats place (Jun 24, 2011)

Wow this thread is still going strong. Must be very cathartic for all of us!

This past Saturday, September 24, 2011, my grandaughter had a baby shower. Her first baby boy to be delivered in late November.

She did something very thoughtful, filled with tender love and care and very creative for all of us. There were probably 40 women who attended this shower. She and her dear husband will have nothing left to buy.

What she had done beforehand is that she spent the whole day before decorating the garden so very lovely for all of us. THEN she made the cutest little T SHIRT cookies (don't know where she found the cutter, perhaps she did each one by hand!) She wrapped them carefully in clear bags, tied with a pretty bow she had decorated with a tiny button, and wrote a very special THANK YOU for each person to take home.

That says love, Thank You, and for all to enjoy and no stamps or envelopes to lick.

With working and having her business (her picture is the bottom one with the veil!)
http://www.etsy.com/shop/kaylanicole0317

and getting ready for a precious little one, her thank you gift to all of us was so special and very yummy!

There are ways to say thank you that show we really care that someone thought of us enough to send/make/give us a gift that is from the heart. A "thank you" is a grateful, appreciative expression that is always from the heart as well.


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## Judy in oz (Jun 19, 2011)

What a thoughtful grandaughter you have.
Thank you for sharing this story.
Judy


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