# Burial gowns, your opinions please



## Zara (Oct 24, 2011)

I donate knitted baby and preemie baby items to our local childrens and maternity hospital. They have a very well known NICU which serves the whole Maritime region in Canada. I was in touch with the director who coordinates the Angel Stitches program and I inquired if they use burial gowns and pouches. Her answer was "Yes. They are so comforting for the grieving parents who may not have something to wrap the sweet babes in on their final journey." 
So now I really want to knit such items and have came across the knitting patterns which are just what I was looking for.
However, and I know some of you will relate to this, the feedback from a few people I have mentioned this to is that it is really rather morbid. 
But the way I look at it, is this really any different from donating knitted hats, scarves and mitts to the homeless?
It makes me sad too to think that there are people out there who are in need of such items of warm clothing, so is knitting a burial gown really any different?
I know a lot of the ladies on KP have made these items.


----------



## Lannie (Sep 4, 2012)

I think it is wonderful! If it was your child wouldn't you want it swathed in something made with love!.. And yes, it is sad, but unfortunately a need. Bless you!


----------



## HandyFamily (Sep 30, 2011)

Well... If this is what you want to do, this is probably what you should do.

But... There are probably a lot of living babies in need of warm clothing - babies with parents who can't really provide all a new baby needs... or parents who, for various reasons, just wouldn't spend much on their babies... sad to think there are people like this, but yes, they do exist - and ... well...


----------



## annygranny (Jun 15, 2011)

I think its a good cause, and you should go with your heart. My friends daughters baby was born early just at 23 weeks, he only lived for just under an hour, so yes knit them for the poor parents that probably havn't got anything ready.


----------



## elbev (Aug 25, 2011)

go with your heart and dont listen to other people. It is a good cause.


----------



## galaxycraft (Feb 15, 2011)

Bless your loving heart!
Our group had also provided a layette set with each gown for the parents to treasure.
It doesn't take away the pain and sorrow, but it does help to know that someone cares.
Anything, no matter how small, that someone can do for the grieving parents, is less that they have to do.
They deserve their immediate grieving time.
Bless You...Bless You...Hugs...Hugs


----------



## Zara (Oct 24, 2011)

HandyFamily said:


> Well... If this is what you want to do, this is probably what you should do.
> 
> But... There are probably a lot of living babies in need of warm clothing - babies with parents who can't really provide all a new baby needs... or parents who, for various reasons, just wouldn't spend much on their babies... sad to think there are people like this, but yes, they do exist - and ... well...


Yes, so true. I had about 6 baby boy outfits which I gave to a co worker for her to pass on to someone she knew who had nothing for her expected baby. He was a month premature and arrived on Xmas Eve, the parents were so thankful.


----------



## damemary (Mar 14, 2012)

You sound like a talented and compassionate person. Do what feels right and ignore comments from unkind people.


----------



## Alpaca Farmer (Jan 19, 2011)

It can't be wrong to give something made with love and concern, even to a precious angel who will not live on this earth.


----------



## taznwinston (Feb 5, 2012)

God Bless you Zara! And others like you. We are all LED to do something, and if we sit quietly and listen with our heart, we will know what it is we are to do. Apparently you have been listening and have heard your message. Lucky you! So often, some people wander through out their entire lives not being still for 1 moment, not listening and never hearing. For them it is sad. For you I say How wonderful! 
What you are embarking on is truly a precious gift to the grieving parents. Never allow any one to make you feel this effort is wasted on the dead, for any comfort your gifts offer to the parents is priceless.


----------



## laceweight (Jun 20, 2011)

Zara, an act of true charity and love; thank you so much! When we donate it is comfortable to believe that a living person will enjoy our work. You know your work is important to those devastated parents and shows them that their loss is acknowledged by the larger community. Thank you for your kindness.

Jan


----------



## puppetlady (Dec 30, 2012)

I think it is a wonderful kindness that you are providing for those at their lowest. Bless you for being kind and thoughtful at a time of great need.


----------



## Chrissy (May 3, 2011)

Zara said:


> I donate knitted baby and preemie baby items to our local childrens and maternity hospital. They have a very well known NICU which serves the whole Maritime region in Canada. I was in touch with the director who coordinates the Angel Stitches program and I inquired if they use burial gowns and pouches. Her answer was "Yes. They are so comforting for the grieving parents who may not have something to wrap the sweet babes in on their final journey."
> So now I really want to knit such items and have came across the knitting patterns which are just what I was looking for.
> However, and I know some of you will relate to this, the feedback from a few people I have mentioned this to is that it is really rather morbid.
> But the way I look at it, is this really any different from donating knitted hats, scarves and mitts to the homeless?
> ...


Hi Zara, please go ahead with this. I plan to make some in the new year for our local hospitals. Its a heart-breaking time and thinking of a final outfit is the last thing on the parents minds.


----------



## Isla May (Nov 20, 2012)

Zara - keep up the good work as you know all the Angel Pouches -or whatever you call them - will be greatly appreciated at the time of sadness. I have knitted Angel Pouches for stillborn babes and miscarriages and although I gave up after doing only half a dozen or so, I am glad I helped those few parents somewhere.


----------



## Grandma Jan (Apr 6, 2011)

Zara, you are such a kind loving person. Anyone who has ever known someone who didn't get to bring their baby home because it didn't live understands what an incredible gift something beautiful to wrap their sweet angel baby in to say goodbye really is. They are in fact, dressing their child (for the only time) for it's funeral. I can only imagine how comforting it would be to be able to wrap that tiny baby in something other than a hospital towel. Grieving parents have a real need and I can only imagine the comfort your kind gifts can offer.

Follow your heart and do what you are compelled to do. There are many many different needs on this planet we share. You've chosen one. Don't let anyone make you question your decision or convince you that it's not the right one. For you it's the right one.

Well, actually, you might want to answer them by asking exactly what charity it is that they are contributing to. I'm betting at least 99% would have no answer. Ha!


----------



## maddyvan (Feb 16, 2011)

This reply really touched me. I wasn't sure how I felt about the question until I saw this and thought about dressing their child for the only time. How heartbreaking; anything that lessens that hurt has to be a good thing.



Grandma Jan said:


> Zara, you are such a kind loving person. Anyone who has ever known someone who didn't get to bring their baby home because it didn't live understands what an incredible gift something beautiful to wrap their sweet angel baby in to say goodbye really is. They are in fact, dressing their child (for the only time) for it's funeral. I can only imagine how comforting it would be to be able to wrap that tiny baby in something other than a hospital towel. Grieving parents have a real need and I can only imagine the comfort your kind gifts can offer.
> 
> Follow your heart and do what you are compelled to do. There are many many different needs on this planet we share. You've chosen one. Don't let anyone make you question your decision or convince you that it's not the right one. For you it's the right one.
> 
> Well, actually, you might want to answer them by asking exactly what charity it is that they are contributing to. I'm betting at least 99% would have no answer. Ha!


----------



## kiwiannie (Jul 30, 2011)

Bless you your work is wonderful,not morbid,theres no accounting for some people. :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:


----------



## Frogger (Sep 6, 2012)

What a wonderful kind thing to do!! How hard it must be for a parent and how wonderful it would be to have to never think of something like a burial gown for a baby --but bless you for thinking and providing something so special! One less thing for a grieving parent to have to deal with and yet know that their baby is dressed in the best!!


----------



## redquilter (Jun 24, 2011)

I, personally, cannot make such items. It upsets me too much. I make things for babies that survive. That being said, there is a special place in heaven (or wherever) for people like you. There is a need for these things and I can only imagine the comfort they bring to a grieving family. Bless you and others like you. Go with your heart and do what you can to help those in need. Need comes in all forms.


----------



## SFCMommy (Dec 14, 2011)

Zara: I commend you for wanting to provide a burial gown for babies. The parents are grieving horribly! At least, their baby will wear something pretty and will be buried with grace, dignity, and love. Years ago,I learned these parents' grief when working as a city clerk/vital statistics registrar. According to New York State Law, a baby must take at least one breath or live for one minute to be considered "born." Therefore, a stillborn baby does not receive a birth OR death certificate. (A death certificate cannot be issued if the baby never lived.) According to the Law, it is as if this precious baby never existed. With tears running down her face, my deputy registrar had to explain THAT to parents of a stillborn baby. So, with that said, providing a burial gown is recognition that there was once life. Because of this experience, I also want to sew burial gowns now that I'm retired. BLESS YOU!


----------



## peanutpatty (Oct 14, 2012)

Dear Zara,
When these parents go home with empty arms, at least they will have the assurance that someone cared enough to acknowledge their grief.
Thank you, and bless you!


----------



## redquilter (Jun 24, 2011)

SFCMommy said:


> Zara: I commend you for wanting to provide a burial gown for babies. The parents are grieving horribly! At least, their baby will wear something pretty and will be buried with grace, dignity, and love. Years ago,I learned these parents' grief when working as a city clerk/vital statistics registrar. According to New York State Law, a baby must take at least one breath or live for one minute to be considered "born." Therefore, a stillborn baby does not receive a birth OR death certificate. (A death certificate cannot be issued if the baby never lived.) According to the Law, it is as if this precious baby never existed. With tears running down her face, my deputy registrar had to explain THAT to parents of a stillborn baby. So, with that said, providing a burial gown is recognition that there was once life. Because of this experience, I also want to sew burial gowns now that I'm retired. BLESS YOU!


OH my goodness! That's awful! I never knew that and I'm sure not many people did either. The law can be so cold sometimes. Ugh - it gives me chills.


----------



## Zara (Oct 24, 2011)

SFCMommy said:


> Zara: I commend you for wanting to provide a burial gown for babies. The parents are grieving horribly! At least, their baby will wear something pretty and will be buried with grace, dignity, and love. Years ago,I learned these parents' grief when working as a city clerk/vital statistics registrar. According to New York State Law, a baby must take at least one breath or live for one minute to be considered "born." Therefore, a stillborn baby does not receive a birth OR death certificate. (A death certificate cannot be issued if the baby never lived.) According to the Law, it is as if this precious baby never existed. With tears running down her face, my deputy registrar had to explain THAT to parents of a stillborn baby. So, with that said, providing a burial gown is recognition that there was once life. Because of this experience, I also want to sew burial gowns now that I'm retired. BLESS YOU!


Thank you for sharing that sad information. I was totally unaware of such a thing. To be honest, it was something that I had never even given a thought to. It just goes to show how many of our knowledgable KP members are willing to share amongst ourselves.


----------



## Raybo (Mar 12, 2011)

taznwinston said:


> Never allow any one to make you feel this effort is wasted on the dead, for any comfort your gifts offer to the parents is priceless.


I agree with the others, you should go with your heart, and remember that what you do, like funerals, etc, is for those left behind, not for the dead ones; for "the dead know not anything"


----------



## sandimac (Feb 11, 2011)

Bless you, Zara, for your good heart! Your gifts will bring peace and comfort to broken-hearted parents.


----------



## deshka (Apr 6, 2011)

I thought I might try doing something like this, but when I looked at patterns I decided I (at this/that time) could not do it. I guess it takes a stronger person than me. I was thinking back to when I lost my baby and that is why I decided I couldn't do it. I need to get past that because I know if a parent were in the spot they would like to have something to put their angel into. There was nothing for mine, except what I had already started knitting at home. that never got finished. maybe some day I will just go for it, in the meantime, God Bless you.


----------



## ogram (Dec 2, 2011)

You should definitely go with your heart and make these wee angels something to wear. I went through this when my grand-daughter gave birth to a still born wee boy. A very thoughtful organization supplied a wee outfit for him to wear to be buried in....and we can never thank them enough for that.

Granted there are lots of living ones that need hats and such, but if they don't get one this year, there is also next year for them...............for the wee angels there is just this one and final time.


----------



## TexCat (Sep 23, 2012)

Please continue your wonderful ministry! Any time you find yourself compelled to help, no matter what the way, it's a disservice to you and to others to not follow through on your impulse.

People who criticize like some of your acquaintances usually are doing so because it makes them feel uncomfortable that YOU have found a purpose and they are so self-centered or empty.

Don't listen. Just continue your good work. There are many, many people out there that appreciate what you do. Not just the devastated parents, but their entire extended family. I'm sure they're all grateful.

Bless you! {{{Hugs}}}


----------



## Homeshppr (Feb 28, 2011)

Unfortunately, the loss of newborns is a sad reality. Not everyone is comfortable making burial garments, but the families who grieve this kind of loss do find comfort in knowing someone took the time to wrap their angel in love and comfort for their journey back to heaven. 

I'm proud of what you do. You should be, too.


----------



## denbar (Jun 20, 2012)

Zara, I lost my grandson as an infant and have since started making burial gowns for the babies that are lost. I hope that it gives parents some comfort. It also helps me to know that I am doing something for these grieving parents.


----------



## gailshirley (Sep 8, 2012)

bless you ,i am sure that the parents of these angels will be so grief filled they may not be able to provide a gown.it is not morbid in my book,it is a treasured gift to little angels who have graced this planet for a short while. they have the right to a beautiful gown for their final journey.


----------



## marilynann (Mar 23, 2011)

I think it a wonderful idea, you are supporting these parents at a time of great need. They can hold their little one in something comforting and warm and others have said, 'made with love'. Go ahead and make them, there is obviously a need. Yes, there are many living babies in our world who also need these things, but bereaved parents are living and they need to have some loving memories to carry them through difficult times too.


----------



## morningdew (Oct 2, 2012)

morbid no kind caring to think of this yes. her answer was yes they do use them as they are a comfort to grieving parents.think that says it all.Bless you


----------



## Lynnee (Nov 1, 2012)

Bought tears to my eyes.What a lovely gesture


----------



## kaye136 (Feb 13, 2011)

I have made and donated many gowns and burial pouches over the years. When I make them,I think of the loss,and put prayers and love in each stitch. I say go with your heart !!!! This ,to me, is a blessing for all involved . There was nothing like this available when we lost my grandson and it would have benefitted our family 
Hugs to you for doing this ,Kaye


----------



## kaye136 (Feb 13, 2011)

I have made and donated many gowns and burial pouches over the years. When I make them,I think of the loss,and put prayers and love in each stitch. I say go with your heart !!!! This ,to me, is a blessing for all involved . There was nothing like this available when we lost my grandson and it would have benefitted our family 
Hugs to you for doing this ,Kaye


----------



## joyce741 (Aug 22, 2012)

the last thing on parents minds would be a burial gown for their little ones, so to think that someone else is thinking of them at that time must be a blessing to them


----------



## WelshWooly (Jul 4, 2012)

It's not morbid, you are doing something that brings comfort to the bereaved and dignity to the dead. I think it is a lovely idea.


----------



## Sagarika (Jul 17, 2012)

I agree with handy family.The living babies need them more.


----------



## pengwensgranny (Aug 3, 2011)

I recently had breast cancer surgery and was given a heart shaped cushion to take the pressure off my under arm area where lymph glands had been removed.
The card attached to it said

'Made with love for you by someone who cares'

This sentiment would be so appropriate in the case of these little angels.


----------



## gailshirley (Sep 8, 2012)

Sagarika said:


> I agree with handy family.The living babies need them more.


having buried a child myself ,it was so important for me to dress him well just for the last time,the child we give back will remain in our hearts forever,i would say that these dear parents will hold that memory.and i agree with you that living babies need them,but i cant say they need them more.this is such a delicate subject and i am sure we all come from different circumstances,but i can tell you that 14 years later i can still remember every detail of my darling sons clothing, that he was buried in.


----------



## Knitish (Feb 8, 2011)

This is the best of care to help someone alieviate such great sadness. Please continue. There is nothing morbid in this.


----------



## Pru (Aug 17, 2012)

My twopennerth is that you and others might give burial gowns, other people might give preemy clothes, whilst others might give to the homeless. If we all did what we could for others the world would be a much better place and I believe givers and receivers would be much happier. You do what you are comfortable with and leave the responsibility of other unfortunates to other peoples concience.


----------



## eileend22 (Dec 10, 2012)

I think its a very good idea.Something parents dont think about in this very sad time for them


----------



## lfedor (Jul 11, 2012)

I crochet burial pouches for a local hospital. I do it because I lost a premie. To me it isn't morbid at all. 34 years ago I wrapped my 2 day old son in a blanket to bury him. I am very happy to do this for grieving parents.


----------



## JoyceinNC (Oct 28, 2011)

I've been making and donating preemie burial gowns for about 4 1/2 years now. Yes, I come across some people who think it is a morbid and sick thing to do. They simply don't understand what it would be like to be in the mother's shoes. No one "plans" on having a preemie. No one is prepared when it happens. No matter what the mother's income or social status is, if this happens to her, she's in a real bind. If the infant doesn't survive, there are few people to help her. Where I live, there is a high rate of abandonment for the deceased ones. That means it's up to the hospital staff to prepare the little body for cremation and send it off. What a sad task, and what an emotional toll it would take on hospital staff to do this however often they have to.

I like to think that these pretty little gowns are a way of letting the mother and hospital staff know that they are cared about, even from a stranger. I hope their hearts are comforted. I hope the hospital staff know how appreciated they are, for all they do. I wonder what the statistics might be for the number of people who donate clothing, hats, blankets, etc. for living babies compared to the smaller number who make burial items for the ones that don't survive. 

By the way....statistically, little boys have a higher death rate than girls. This has been true for a very long time, but I don't know the reason. Please, everyone who makes burial clothing, please remember to make items that are appropriate for infant boys. It's fun to use trims and fancy embroidery for the girls, but those aren't needed as much as for the boys. 

So, if your heart leads you in that direction, stay on the path! You are truly reaching out to people in a very difficult and painful situation, bringing them a little comfort. We will all rejoice when these tiny burial clothes are no longer needed. But, until then, we will keep busy.


----------



## RhondaP (Jun 26, 2011)

Great idea. Many many moons ago I used to smock little gowns for the tiny deceased babies and they were more than readily appreciated by the hospital and the parents. 

Go ahead. Follow your heart!


----------



## christineannj (May 27, 2011)

It is so kind of you to want to make burial gowns. I have crocheted lots of them, it is sad but parent's obviously do not have these available and how lovely to dress their babies in one rather than a cloth. I think how sad it is we need to make them but think of the parents who must be so grateful that someone has thought of them enough to make this tiny gowns.
I also make premie and baby clothes, so hope I bring happiness to many parents. I really enjoy making them
Christine


----------



## pendergrass (Apr 26, 2012)

Do what your heart tells you to do, I have been in these parents shoes and it is not a easy thing to do over the past four years I have had to go threw this with my Daughter who has lost two beautiful Angles and sent them to be in heaven, I still make things and donate them when I get to missing my grandchildren, It warms my heart to help others in need.


----------



## judon (Mar 8, 2012)

I too knit for charity including blankets for stillborn, premmies and neonatal babes, cannot understand friends who refuse to help with contributions. It does not affect the knitter surely if garments are for angels or live babies? Memory boxes filled with a toy or knitted items must be a help to bereaved parents.


----------



## JoyceinNC (Oct 28, 2011)

SFCMommy said:


> Zara: I commend you for wanting to provide a burial gown for babies. The parents are grieving horribly! At least, their baby will wear something pretty and will be buried with grace, dignity, and love. Years ago,I learned these parents' grief when working as a city clerk/vital statistics registrar. According to New York State Law, a baby must take at least one breath or live for one minute to be considered "born." Therefore, a stillborn baby does not receive a birth OR death certificate. (A death certificate cannot be issued if the baby never lived.) According to the Law, it is as if this precious baby never existed. With tears running down her face, my deputy registrar had to explain THAT to parents of a stillborn baby. So, with that said, providing a burial gown is recognition that there was once life. Because of this experience, I also want to sew burial gowns now that I'm retired. BLESS YOU!


That's very shocking. Here in NC, a birth certificate is issued for a stillborn, there is a place on the document to indicate "stillborn". But, if the child takes one breath and dies, the hospital staff won't help them with referrals or information about burial or cremation, they are on their own. If the child is stillborn, the hospital will give the parent(s) this information. The group I volunteer with gets pretty steamed about this......


----------



## elsiemarley (Jul 27, 2012)

I'm glad you have gotten so many affirmations from this group. Comfort and caring are always welcome in sad situations.


----------



## PaKnitter (Mar 7, 2011)

Keep knitting...all babies deserve to look beautiful.


----------



## amudaus (Nov 8, 2011)

Zara follow your heart,you are doing something wonderful and i thank you for that you sound like a very special person to me. God Bless you.


----------



## akkath (Nov 15, 2011)

I have a very dear person in my life, who is carrying twin boys, after years of trying to have a child. The smaller boy doesn't look like he'll make it, and if he does, they expect serious problems. I think this is the 2nd time they've been told he'd be gone in a day or two. The older boy is suffering from the same issue, but it started later, and he's much stronger and it looks like he'll do fine. But my poor sweet friend...she said it's impossible emotionally to prepare for a first birth, and also a death, at the same time. Yes, Zara, your work will be very appreciated, at one of the hardest times, in a person's life. Having a baby should be a joyous occasion and when it turns out to be a death, the hurt and loss is incredible. Anything, anybody does for these grieving parents, is worth the effort, and will help comfort them in ways, nothing else can. To be able to wrap your precious baby, in a lovingly made garment, honors both the child and the parents, and has to help with the healing. Thank you, so much!


----------



## hazel zanella (Dec 8, 2012)

Your idea is a very wonderful and caring way of showing your support to those parents who are in a state of grief over their loss. My daughter was born at 26 weeks and we did not expect her to survive, she weighed 1lb 14 ozs. and her chances of surviving were very slim indeed. No support groups those days, and any small kindness was so wonderful, I clung to any small word or act of faith offered by friends or hospital staff. After a long battle we were very fortunate to take our daughter home....this was 40yers ago. Go with your heart, you will never be sorry and the grieving parents will be forever greatful for you kindness. Bless you, bless you.


----------



## Frances14 (Aug 1, 2012)

Hi Zara, I too have knitted a few burial gowns, but they are really very pretty and only suitable for a baby girl.

As one of the ladies who replied to you said more little boys than girls seem to need these garments, I wonder if you may be able to tell me if you have found a pattern more suitable for a little boy please.

What we do is surely not morbid if it brings so much comfort at what must be an incredibly sad time, and I thank God I have not experienced it.

God Bless Jenny, Birmingham Uk.


----------



## HelenClevedon (Dec 6, 2012)

Members of The Mothers Union, an Anglican organisation worldwide, knit these Angel Pockets and they are comforting


----------



## tulliver (Jun 5, 2012)

the last thing a bereaved mum wants to do is go shopping for something for her baby, a baby she has to say goodbye to and if you can help solve her problem then I think you are wonderful. There will always be those to knit for the living it takes someone special to care for the dead.


----------



## MAGGIE01 (Mar 17, 2011)

I also knit for charity, and make the burial gowns, pouches, blankets etc. for the little angels, I take great care that these are as perfect as they can be. I have also made very tiny little angels, or bears, in pairs, one to go with the baby and the other to go to the parents as a keepsake. I was apprehensive on the first one I did, but the thought that if I, and others like me, didn't do this, the angels would have nothing but a paper towel wrapped round them, and that thought hurt worse than any other.


----------



## Chrissy (May 3, 2011)

Knittyjen said:


> Hi Zara, I too have knitted a few burial gowns, but they are really very pretty and only suitable for a baby girl.
> 
> As one of the ladies who replied to you said more little boys than girls seem to need these garments, I wonder if you may be able to tell me if you have found a pattern more suitable for a little boy please.
> 
> ...


Hi Jenny, i hope to be adapting a few patterns into these tiny gowns in the next few weeks, and will try to design more boys gowns. As others have said, this is not morbid but much needed! Feel free to PM me for more details.


----------



## ernai (Apr 7, 2011)

At the time that parents are going through this tragic time in their lives the last thing on their minds is what to wrap their precious little angel in. It also gives them an opportunity for saying goodbye with the baby wearing something given with love by the donor - no strings attached, just the thought that they are helping someone in their time of need.

I lost 5 and never had a chance to say goodbye to any of them.

When I make my garments I also include a third bootee or a heart or an angel as a keepsake for the parents.

Please don't let anyone keep you from doing this act of kindness.


with best wishes
Irene (Ernai)

PS: I also make beanies, jackets and booties for the neo-natal unit (birthing unit) for the little ones whose families don't have something for them, and 'take-home sets' so I think this covers all the bases.


----------



## baglady1104 (Apr 10, 2011)

Zara, I think you have your answer.  I agree with all the others who say you should follow your heart. There will always be someone else with some other need that you could "do" for, but your heart has been touched by the need of grieving parents. Thank you, and I know God will bless you!


----------



## everreddy (Mar 18, 2011)

Please do continue to knit these items. I have been knitting such as those and also angels pockets and baby bunting which are tiny lacey hooded capes and as I am making them I feel the love go through my fingers to hold the tiny darlings and keep them safe. My local preemie unit also accept other clothing and smallest blankets which I make in pastel colours everything is sincerely appreciated. You are helping people at one of there saddest times so keep on going and don't listen to those cold hearted people, we have a craft to share and this is a great way to use it.


----------



## Ginnybee1 (Nov 25, 2011)

The Christ Child Society prepares layettes, preemie layettes and bereavement sets. In their time of loss, clothing in which to bury their baby is much appreciated. Please consider adding a small item such as a bib that can be placed on the body then removed before burial and given to the parents. They will always have something that came in contact with their precious child.


----------



## Anna3703 (Mar 4, 2012)

The fact that some loving, caring, kind people make and donate burial gowns does not mean that they do not donate to needy living children as well. We can do both, and we do.


----------



## MRSCW (Nov 3, 2012)

what a lovely thoughtful person you are. i am sure that the parents will be comforted to know that their precious child will be wrapped in a garment made with love. Keep it up


----------



## EllenCrafts (Apr 17, 2012)

It takes a special person to do what you are doing! God bless you!


----------



## Rita Ann (Jan 17, 2012)

You are not morbid ...My son is a Funeral Director..I ask him..you would not believe how many parents have knitted burial gowns for small babies and children..That breaks my son's heart to see the beautiful gowns some people knit or crochet...Please don't stop. You are doing Gods work...God Bless you....


----------



## woodart (Jul 1, 2011)

Hi folks,
This is a great topic, Thanks for opening it!
My mother and father lost their first child (a son) during the war years in Melbourne, Aust. The baby only lived a few hours and the baby's body was whisked away too quickly to allow my parents to grieve. They were not told where the baby was buried and right up until Mum died she kept wondering where he had been laid to rest. Dad was in the Australian Navy and given shore leave to be with Mum for the birth but then he had to rush back to work. 
They went on to have two daughters but I suspect they suffered more over the loss of a son.
Mum's anguish wasn't made any easier when two of her mother in law's sisters complained that the baby would have lived had she had the child in a proper hospital - the nearest hospital was a private hospital with fewer amenities than a larger maternity hospital. 
So I think its wonderful that there are generous knitters and sewers out there willing to provide a home made gown for these infants - what a great gift to give parents who have suffered such loss.
I'm a firm believer in the saying "what goes around; comes around" 
How upsetting it would have been for Mum to relive all her sorrow again when my sister married 20 or so years ago. She too lost her baby, born far to premature to survive. It must have been very hard for my mother and father to watch one of their daughters going through that ordeal and relive their own loss as a consequence.
I understand that often a deceased baby's body was placed in graves of recently deceased people rather than a new grave. I don't know how prevalent this practice is.
As for the attitude that pretty baby clothes etc are wasted on deceased infants. If the gesture brings relief from the grief of losing one's baby and provides a memory of a lovingly made -- and given - gift such as this is well worth it.
Thanks for giving us all a chance to understand the loss of a much anticipated child.
Cheers
Ainslie.


----------



## cbektas (Dec 11, 2012)

Morbid or not it is reality. My grand nephew had a life of only 2 months before he was taken back home. It is a sad thing and I commend you for trying to ease someone's pain.


----------



## galaxycraft (Feb 15, 2011)

Sagarika said:


> I agree with handy family.The living babies need them more.


And why can't we do both?
One year I made equal amounts - 
1 burial gown for every 1 sweater set.


----------



## GypsyC1225 (Apr 13, 2011)

I crocheted a beautiful layette, donated it to our minister when his little girl Zion, passed away at 3 months old. When making this layette, I had no idea where it was going. Little Zion was so beautiful in her layette, she looked so much like an angel. So I decided that I would do more layettes, and give them to the NICU. I got through one layette, and cried. I know there is a need for them, and the families deserve to see their precious baby dressed in something beautiful for the final journey. But I am just too emotional to do this. I honor you for doing this for Heaven's newest Angels.


----------



## carrad47 (Nov 29, 2012)

28 years ago I lost my first son Matthew right after his birth. A burial gown would have given me comfort. I held him and being able to dress him in something hand made by someone who cared enough to do it would have been very comforting. Just an opinion from someone who has been on the other side of the coin


----------



## steff (Apr 12, 2011)

As the grandma of an angel baby boy, Felux, born still at 22 weeks I am soooo appreciative of your kindness. We can say it's morbid and look the other way but that is just denying reality. This unfortunately happens more than anyone realizes unless you go thru it. Thank you for your kindness and generosity. My other daughter is a nurse in the PICU where they receive donated quilts and pillow cases. She says they love putting them on the patient's bed and if something happens they go home with the parents. Thank you again


----------



## darski (Jan 25, 2012)

I am currently making an "Angel Pocket" for a woman who is related to a dear friend of mine. The child is a twin and has already died but they can't interfere with the pregnancy for fear of the still living twin.

Making these items is an act for the living... The living parents who must deal with a loss that is beyond any other.

I spend most of my time crocheting hats for every age from (living) preemie to Seasoned Citizens. Nothing is of greater importance than meeting the needs of those in sorrow.

Imagine the difference:

the child you have loved and nurtured in your womb for months is going to be buried... Would you want that child to go naked into that dark night or would you not feel some lessening of grief if you knew that some loving person had made a burial outfit just for your hour of need?


----------



## Nelly 58 (Oct 30, 2012)

You know I have never given it a thought as to what the poor parents would dress their babies in. It's such a lovely idea so you should do it for them. And you're lovely for thinking of it


----------



## greythounds (Aug 26, 2011)

Zara, Keep doing what feels right to you. A wonderful site is Carewear.org. Free patterns for knit and crochet and sewing. The tiny burial wraps are very easy to sew in just a few minutes. I've made several in all sizes. But not in a few years. They are tied in front in two places and it is a very simple two piece pattern that comes up in the back to form a little hood. Very nice made in flannel. Another site sent e-mail saying that NICU is very leery of using anything knitted with fuzzy yarn that can have a fiber come off. Even the tiniest fiber can cause damage to eyes and breathing. Just a side note. I use to live in TX. The Parkview Hopsital was in great need of anything for newborns. I met a lady at a garage sale that was working on collecting things for Parkview. She told me that some of the new mom's were so poor that babies had been wrapped in newspaper when it was cold out to take them home. I was talking to my husband this morning about not deciding yet on a New Year's resolution. I know now what it will be.


----------



## wurzel (Aug 6, 2012)

I am a Trefoil Guild member and we have been knitting such blankets - both for prem babies and thiose stillborn. Folk who could not knit them have made lobvely soft blanlets from a fine fleecy material.
I have just been on the `phone to my friend in Halifax, NS. We stayed with her last September. My sister also used to live in Cow Bay and we hasd several lovely holidays with her. Keep up the good cause knitting.
Happy New Year to you.


----------



## suef3711 (Aug 30, 2011)

I think it is a wonderful idea. I have thought of it myself but I don't have any hospitals near me to donate them to. I do the preemie hats and send them to Mass General in Boston Ma. If you want to do it I think the grieving parents will really appreciate it.


----------



## toast (Jul 27, 2011)

What a lovely thing to do. People who think it is morbid just don't get it. You go girl.


----------



## sheila burns (Aug 21, 2011)

It is a beautiful idea. I work with a very similar charity here in MD. I donate prayer shawls to the parents of these babies. It is a beautiful way of sharing your craft and spreading some love to hurting families.
Keep it up!


----------



## dagmargrubaugh (May 10, 2011)

Zara said:


> I donate knitted baby and preemie baby items to our local childrens and maternity hospital. They have a very well known NICU which serves the whole Maritime region in Canada. I was in touch with the director who coordinates the Angel Stitches program and I inquired if they use burial gowns and pouches. Her answer was "Yes. They are so comforting for the grieving parents who may not have something to wrap the sweet babes in on their final journey."
> So now I really want to knit such items and have came across the knitting patterns which are just what I was looking for.
> However, and I know some of you will relate to this, the feedback from a few people I have mentioned this to is that it is really rather morbid.
> But the way I look at it, is this really any different from donating knitted hats, scarves and mitts to the homeless?
> ...


I have made those and will do so again. There is nothing morbid about it. I hope that the parents will find some comfort in knowing that someone made something beautiful for their little angel,


----------



## MoSunflower (Oct 15, 2012)

For some it may be morbid, but for a grieving parent it may be the kindness that helps them face their personal tragedy. God calls each of us to help others and that help can take so many different paths. No one should be judged for doing a kindness for another. Ignore unkind comments and realize that they may have an unknown, unresolved issue of their own. I love the quote that goes something like this, "Be kinder than necessary, for everyone is fighting some battle." I probably have this not quite right but that's the general idea. It helps me hold back a harsh response when someone speaks inappropriately. 

I have heard there is a group that knits bandages for leprosy patients in third world countries. So - to each his (her) own when it comes to helping others.


----------



## Linga Goss (Dec 25, 2012)

What a kind person you are, it would be heartbreaking to lose a baby.....to know someone has spent the time and love to make a burial gown for their baby would give them some small comfort. God Bless you for your thoughtfulness you obviously are a very special person.


----------



## CinDeeLooWho (Oct 14, 2011)

Zara said:


> So now I really want to knit such items and have came across the knitting patterns which are just what I was looking for.
> However, and I know some of you will relate to this, the feedback from a few people I have mentioned this to is that it is really rather morbid.


From someone who has lost a babe (and we are out there- everywhere), yes, some are startled by the idea, mainly because it is a bit out of our main-stream thoughts. It's not something 99.5% of knitters even think of knitting, because it is so sadly specialized. As you and others have mentioned, it is a gift from the heart to heart-broken parents... nothing could be more important or welcome at such a sad time.

Thank you for the knitting you and others do for these families......


----------



## Schipperke (Nov 12, 2011)

Zara said:


> I donate knitted baby and preemie baby items to our local childrens and maternity hospital. They have a very well known NICU which serves the whole Maritime region in Canada. I was in touch with the director who coordinates the Angel Stitches program and I inquired if they use burial gowns and pouches. Her answer was "Yes. They are so comforting for the grieving parents who may not have something to wrap the sweet babes in on their final journey."
> So now I really want to knit such items and have came across the knitting patterns which are just what I was looking for.
> However, and I know some of you will relate to this, the feedback from a few people I have mentioned this to is that it is really rather morbid.
> But the way I look at it, is this really any different from donating knitted hats, scarves and mitts to the homeless?
> ...


In life there is death. It's the only thing we are absolutely certain of in life. Sadly some die far sooner than they should and to think it's morbid isn't very helpful to the parents who are suffering. My guess would be that those who say it's morbid to think of such things are possibly the ones who would walk on the opposite side of the road rather than have to meet and talk to bereaved parents. That's my opinion. I'm sure many will feel differently, and that's fine. Making anything pretty to bury little tiny babies in is a very positive thing to do.


----------



## Lily Jamjar (Dec 31, 2012)

These people who say your kindness is "morbid", whatever sort of people are they? Who on earth wouldn't see the kindness and caring that goes into your work? What you are doing is wonderful and must bring great comfort to some desperately heartbroken people, so don't be discouraged


----------



## Gumblossom (Oct 18, 2012)

Zara, you are a very kind and loving daughter of Heavenly Father who sees your true inner beauty. Go with those promptings to make beautiful clothing for his dear little ones who are starting on homeward journey early. They are no lesser people than those who are still here on earth. 

It would be a comfort to young parents, that sweet spirits like you, have provided these gifts at such a sad time in their lives.

Thank you Zara for thinking outside the square. 

Mathew 25. comes to mind where the Saviour is talking about the Parable of the Sheep and the Goats.


----------



## carbar (Dec 15, 2011)

About six months ago I made a layette set for my sisters best friends' grandson who was born way too early and was very small. He lived about a month and the mother buried him in my gift to him. I felt sad but also glad that I was able to provide something beautiful for that little angel.


----------



## Omeghan (Oct 21, 2012)

laceweight said:


> Zara, an act of true charity and love; thank you so much! When we donate it is comfortable to believe that a living person will enjoy our work. You know your work is important to those devastated parents and shows them that their loss is acknowledged by the larger community. Thank you for your kindness.
> 
> Jan


Yes! and thank you for your kindness and consideration for those in true need. Go for it!


----------



## Diane D (Apr 7, 2012)

Zara i have made burial gowns as well and its a beautiful thing to do. That is a need that needs to be catered for too. Bless you.... And as the other say, follow your heart....


----------



## annalee (Dec 29, 2012)

Zara, you must do what your heart tells you. Personally I would do it because that little one would benefit from something made by hand. It is the last thing in this world that little baby will have. Don't pay any attention to the people you have talked to. I see it as a good works sort of thing. God will bless you for this ministry. Bless you for thinking of these little angels.


----------



## knittingdragon (Jun 15, 2012)

If it is morbid to do something nice for the dead then funeral directors would all be out of business. Just because someone, no matter how young or old, has died doesn't make them any less loved by immediate family and friends. When it is a baby or very young child that is so much more heartbreaking. You need to have lost a baby to know the devastation, the empty feeling, the grief that is so great you think you are going to die as well. For you to think of something like the pouches (or cocoons) I think is truely wonderful. Bless you. Go with your heart and ignore hardhearted people who have to complain or find fault with what everyone else is doing.


----------



## arlo (Dec 27, 2012)

Yes; wherever there is a need; and is made with love; is the right thig to do; even if it is a sad situation. Arlo


----------



## Grandma M (Nov 18, 2011)

I don't think it is morbid at all but a wonderful thing you are
doing for people who are grieving. Speaking as a mother
who has lost 2 sons I would have felt greatful if someone like you had come along at those times. That would have blessed my heart. So, go to it gal, you are doing the right thing.


----------



## mzmom1 (Mar 4, 2011)

lfedor said:


> I crochet burial pouches for a local hospital. I do it because I lost a premie. To me it isn't morbid at all. 34 years ago I wrapped my 2 day old son in a blanket to bury him. I am very happy to do this for grieving parents.


What is a burial pouch please? I have not seen this term before. Please excuse my ignorance.


----------



## hobbydiva (Jan 31, 2011)

I think it's a great gift for you to be able to do this and I'd ignore all the morbid people who are such downers. I made two such outfits for a local collection and I personally couldn't make anymore (spent most of my time crying) so now I've decided to knit mittens/hats for our local elementary school. But we all have a gift and a talent and if this is yours, so be it and do it proudly. Good for you!


----------



## Rumi (Jan 16, 2012)

Some people are under the assumption that burial gowns are for the poor baby who has passed. They see it as a waste to put so much effort into this when there are living breathing babies in need. Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! Your act of final kindness is not for the baby, it is for the grieving parents. It is like giving them a comforting hug in their time of great sadness. Your effort is for them. To tell them that their child mattered even if he/she never took a breath.


----------



## MRSCW (Nov 3, 2012)

Where do you get the pattern from? i have just finished work and find time on my hands and would like to do something similar to you. I have too lost a grandchild and have a lot of love to give.


----------



## Cnleb (Aug 19, 2012)

What a lovely thing to do! I think that whenever there's a need we come across and can fill it, go for it. I've been blessed in my life not to experience losing an infant so I'm not well versed on the subject, what is a pouch?


----------



## patsie (Sep 28, 2012)

I have recently been asked if I would knit a similar gown and blanket for grieving parents. My own daughter lived but 10 days and it would have been lovely for us to have had a memory such as a blanket-so from a personal perspective it is a wonderful gesture. 
Also my very elderly neighbour who was a fabulous knitter who has recently declined in health and mind has started knitting again after being re-taught by me and is again feeling useful and productive so that is another benefit!


----------



## MacRae (Dec 3, 2011)

Zara, I don't think it is morbid at all. Sad to think that these little angels are here for just a short time. All the more reason for them to have something made from loving hands. I'm sure it is very comforting to their parents as well. Plus it is one less thing the parents have to worry about. 

Blessings to you! 
Daphne


----------



## ForgetfulFi (Sep 29, 2012)

Zara, I think you should do what you feel you need to do. You are doing something for a heartbreaking time in the lives of those poor parents. I salute you.
Fiona


----------



## Briegeen (Dec 9, 2012)

As a Health Care Professional I think you are providing a wonderful & very necessary service. There will always be people who disagree with ones' charitable works - THAT IS THEIR PROBLEM, ignore them.


----------



## brynmawr (Oct 24, 2011)

Zara - PLEASE go forward with this project. I work at a Children's Hospital (and have lost a child) and this act of kindness speaks loudly at a time when nothing makes sense. Even if the parents are unable to verbalize their appreciation, trust me that it is something that they will carry with them always.


----------



## cathyscard (Apr 14, 2012)

Zara, keep doing this. We lost our granddaughter 6 months into the pregnancy - she was dressed in doll clothes for her burial. A hand-knit angel gown would have meant so much more. I think I will do the same to help out in our hospital


----------



## pleezed2pleez (Jun 14, 2011)

I think it is great for you to have this ministry. Do you really care what critics have to say?


----------



## Pat lamb (Oct 31, 2011)

Zara, our group of ladies make burial pouches for tiny little babies and it's voluntary, some ladies can't not do it, but I was told by a nurse at the NICU that it brings dignity to the greaving parent because usually they don't have any thing small enough to put this babies in, I pin a little angel that they can keep. Small blankets are good too. Keep up the good work :thumbup:


----------



## Rap (Sep 8, 2011)

Your knitting expresses your empathy to those parents who have suffered the unimaginable loss of a child. I admire your courage to do this. Do you have patterns for the buriel gowns and pouches that you can share?


----------



## Justme (May 11, 2011)

I have a friend that makes the gowns for girls out of wedding gowns and the little boy one with a shirt and pants out of the wedding gown. It is soft and their parents really love it as they will never see their child get married or go to prom or any other life events. The hospitals love love love them. There are a lot of people in need but they have a chance at life and these little angels do not. I say it is a wonderful thing to do and you would do it. It really is for the parents and they really need your love. I cannot even think of losing a child. It is beyond me.


----------



## Justme (May 11, 2011)

www.carewear.org has many patterns.


----------



## jmko (Dec 29, 2011)

Pay no attention to these negative folks-they don't know what they are talking about! You are doing a great thing for parents who have suffered a loss. Don't be discouraged. Thank you for your caring.


----------



## galaxycraft (Feb 15, 2011)

Justme said:


> www.carewear.org has many patterns.


And another:
http://www.bevscountrycottage.com/bereavement-gowns.html


----------



## Mevbb (Sep 5, 2011)

Just think this is beautiful for your purpose.

https://dl-web.dropbox.com/get/Public/1344413440321-knit_angel_wrap.doc?w=ec972d02

You will have to copy and paste address. It comes from my drop box and. I cannot get it so it goes directly to the site.


----------



## bpj (Oct 14, 2011)

What a wonderful person you are to think of other's at a time, they need it most. You are a lovely , thoughtful person. God Bless and Happy New Year.


----------



## ptober (Mar 24, 2011)

As a nurse who specialized in infants and has worked with parents experiencing a fetal death I can say that the hand knitted items for those babies means a great deal. 

It is an item of comfort that the parents can focus on in their grief and seems to serve as an humanizing factor in the process of assimilating the tragedy. 

Many of the parents would dress the infants in the item for a picture and then keep the item as a momento.

So- never think the items are unwanted or unused.


----------



## carol taylor (Jan 10, 2012)

Our little knitting group does a lot of this and it is a well received program here in Michigan. The hospitals ask for them. I just made two burial buntings. Take a look at PreemiesUK to see what they do and if you go to their facebook page under "notes" you will find some patterns. I like to make the little outfits as pretty as possible as the parents only have a short time to spend with their little angel.


----------



## oleganny (Oct 14, 2011)

18 years ago my great grandson was born at 24 weeks - he weighed just over a pound. He is now a strapping 6'1" tall young man, although with some problems. I spent many hours at the hospital & in the unit with my granddaughter & I always had my knitting with me. They preferred fabric items for the babies, so I sewed little quilts & burial pouches & burial gowns. . It was sad, but rewarding work. I did this for many years after my ggson was home & healthy, & I still send a few items evry year to the hospital in Thanks for the little boy they helped to live. If this is what you are drawn to do, then do it. The parents always appreciate the fact that someonce cared enough for their child to make something from the heart.

hugs
Shirley in Indiana


----------



## Bgb55 (Dec 31, 2012)

I've been at the hosiptal when two babies died, so from having been there, I'd encourage you to do this. The babies in most cases are very small and nothing fits that you can just run out and easily purchase. It is so comforting to the family to see their new baby brought to them in a very soft and pretty garment that is their very own. I've made just a few of these myself. You are doing a great work, keep it up. Belinda


----------



## past (Apr 3, 2011)

I think it is a wonderful idea. Many years ago my step-son and his wife gave pre-mature birth to twins at only 25 weeks pregnancy. The twins did not survive. They were so small, only about 1 pound each, that no clothes could be purchased to bury them in. The nurses in the neonatal ICU measured the boys and made them burial outfits. It was such a comfort to my step-son and his wife to know their boys were able to be buried in clothes and not just a diaper and blanket.


----------



## Linda6594 (Mar 14, 2012)

I think you should do what you feel is best. No matter what you do someone always has a different opinion.


----------



## ulrika (Jul 2, 2011)

I have made several of these and got the same reaction from people. some were very moved that I would make such a thing. Some of the ladies in my group said they couldn't knit that. It was too hard for them. I think it is a wonderful thing to do. You make some grieving parents feel a little less bad. Godd for you.


----------



## norm13 (Jul 15, 2012)

Zara I think you are so kind. Please continue to follow your kind heart and know you made a difference


----------



## Jeya (Aug 14, 2012)

I belong to a group at work and we call ourselves CREATIVE KNITWITS. We do similar stuff for a maternity hospital in Perth. The parents who have lost their"bundle of joys" do appreciate them.

So keep up the good work.

:thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:


----------



## carol taylor (Jan 10, 2012)

Take a look at the Care Wear organization. If you get involved with them they will provide booklets of patterns for preemies and for babies born sleeping, all different sizes and there is a lot of information on how to go about getting these items to the right places.


----------



## flitri (Jun 13, 2011)

It is sad but these gowns are used and I am sur that they are appreciated by the grieving parents. I see that you have been donating for the living babies and the poor little ones that don't make it should be buried with some love and dignity.


----------



## DeeDeeF (Mar 29, 2011)

If they have a need then why not? It's terrible to lose a child but, if this even gives a scrap of comfort, I agree, they should be made and donated.


----------



## Redhatchris (Apr 21, 2012)

Zara said:


> I donate knitted baby and preemie baby items to our local childrens and maternity hospital. They have a very well known NICU which serves the whole Maritime region in Canada. I was in touch with the director who coordinates the Angel Stitches program and I inquired if they use burial gowns and pouches. Her answer was "Yes. They are so comforting for the grieving parents who may not have something to wrap the sweet babes in on their final journey."
> So now I really want to knit such items and have came across the knitting patterns which are just what I was looking for.
> However, and I know some of you will relate to this, the feedback from a few people I have mentioned this to is that it is really rather morbid.
> But the way I look at it, is this really any different from donating knitted hats, scarves and mitts to the homeless?
> ...


I think you are so wonderful to remember the mostly forgotten little angels and their families. Do what your heart directs you to do. 
How caring to wrap the child in something which came from love, just like the child. 
I only wish there was a better name for the gown, one that was not so morbid. ANGEL GOWNS is a great name I read from another post.
And a pouch? I am not familiar, what is a pouch used for? 
Bless you for your unselfish and loving gifts. God Bless and Happy New Year.


----------



## mousepotato (May 30, 2011)

Knit what you are moved to knit. Compassion for others unknown in what should have been a time of joy is a gift from God.


----------



## joanh8060 (Apr 22, 2011)

One of my best friends is a nurse with 27 years in Labor and Delivery. She has related how much better a job they are trained to do in helping families through these heartbreaking times. Something special to dress the baby in must be a great comfort. 
No, its not a happy thing to knit but life is not all pretty hats, scarves, sweaters. 
One woman in 10 experiences a miscarriage. We who have, remember the pain and sense of real loss that we were sure no one but us understood or felt. Knowing someone cared enough to knit a gown or pouch and express their reverence for potential for life or life much too short has to help. Joan 8060


----------



## Ronie (Jan 21, 2011)

I can't read all the 9 pages of comments but I will tell you that I get the same resonse to what I do.. I am a caregiver.. I do private care and in my heart I just want the final day, weeks, months, or even (if were lucky years) of their lives to be happy, comfortable and well cared for... most people think thats morbid and gross.. our body's give out as we get older.. and sometimes we need help with some most embarassing daily tasks.. I don't mind because I know my clients don't sit in their own bodily waste waiting for someone to come along and clean them.. I do it because I have compasion for the elderly.. I love to hear their stories.. I love to go to work and laugh and visit and know I am making a difference.. 
You are making a difference, You are making a poor mother very happy that at least her baby is comfortable and beautiful.. I have heard 2 sides of these gowns though.. I heard that they are for the family to have something from their baby and then I have heard that they are used in the burial.. either way you are bringing a small amount of relief to a heart broken family... I agree with all that say .. if you feel drawn to this and want to do it.. then go for it.. there is a need and you have the talent and desire to fill that need... if it gets to where you are feeling more and more depressed as you knit then maybe you should switch those burial gowns to Christening gowns.. that might make it a little easier on you...


----------



## dwidget (May 30, 2011)

since people are thinking it is morbid why not just make one burial outfit and put it in with the preemie clothes for the living. one outfit is something I think we could all handle. this way we are helping others at such critical times.


----------



## cheecat (Dec 30, 2011)

What a wonderful gift of comfort you will be supplying for a family in sorrow. If I were you I wouldn't even waste my time explaining to the naysayers. I'm sure for everyone of them out there you'll find at least a dozen who support your good intentions


----------



## khites (Nov 30, 2012)

Dear Zara,
May God bless you for your compassionate gift. I belonged for a short while to a group in the US called NILMDTS. When grief stricken parents had a little one who was not expected to survive in this world or already passed, these professional photographer volunteers would be called by the hospital to gather a few farewell pictures for the parents. All rememberances were donated to the grieving families. The hospitals by me have a group who donates tiny items to dress the babies. It is very appreciated. The gowns are the best gift. Preemies are often very hard to view-they are not all perfectly formed miniatures. Attempting pictures is hard, you sometimes just get a picture of a swaddled bundle with its parents and perhaps a tiny hand grasped by parents. Normalcy is what you strive for. Your gowns would definitely help.


----------



## Diane1945 (May 25, 2012)

I agree with everyone here who is encouraging you to do this. I do this myself. I give my gowns to the CHEO children hospital in Ottawa, Canada, and though it is sad to receive a call telling me my gown was given on that day, and that the parents cried when they dressed that little angel, they always, always turned to the person in the room with them and asked that the person who donated be thanked an blessed for their kindness, that they will always remember that someone taught of their little angel with love. So follow your heart.


----------



## NY Hummer (Oct 16, 2012)

Wanted just to say that I know your work is needed in making/giving to hospitals for babies *born asleep* - 
I will write you a PM, as I have some personal experiences that I'll share with you -


----------



## carol taylor (Jan 10, 2012)

who cares what others think, follow your heart. I just lost my adult son to a heart attack on November 13th and know the devastation of losing a child no matter how old he/she is. That little baby that is born sleeping has parents that love him/her and most want to spend a few hours holding the little one before leaving the hospital. How wonderful that the staff can dress the tiny one in a beautiful outfit to make that time a little easier. Some parents even want pictures of their sleeping baby so they can remember the child.


----------



## carol taylor (Jan 10, 2012)

Zara, well said. I have looked at the website for NILMDTS and it is beautifully done and the photographers are wonderful.


----------



## patmoe (Dec 12, 2012)

I think you are doing a great service that many would not think of. It brings tears to my eyes thinking how greatful some parents will be when they see the love and effort you have put into these items. Go for it, you will be rewarded for your compassion.


----------



## anjaa (Sep 19, 2012)

This is not only a brilliant idea but it is also something I would love to do too

I was picturing really lovely clothes especially as they will form part of their memories

The trick may be finding patterns especially as some are only half term

If you have any patterns would you mind sharing them online

Maybe others could contribute to the "Sleeping Babies" Pattern Library as well



Zara said:


> I donate knitted baby and preemie baby items to our local childrens and maternity hospital. They have a very well known NICU which serves the whole Maritime region in Canada. I was in touch with the director who coordinates the Angel Stitches program and I inquired if they use burial gowns and pouches. Her answer was "Yes. They are so comforting for the grieving parents who may not have something to wrap the sweet babes in on their final journey."
> So now I really want to knit such items and have came across the knitting patterns which are just what I was looking for.
> However, and I know some of you will relate to this, the feedback from a few people I have mentioned this to is that it is really rather morbid.
> But the way I look at it, is this really any different from donating knitted hats, scarves and mitts to the homeless?
> ...


----------



## Ruth Ray (Dec 31, 2012)

I have donated preemie blankets, ones made for stillborns, and various items for children in need. As an avid knitter I can get involved with more than one project and no need to prioritize them. These are small items, quickly knit, and during the course of a year I can help a lot of folks.
For charity projects of all kinds I have often found info on them on the Lion Brand (yarn) website.
Ruth in Pennsylvania


----------



## rujam (Aug 19, 2011)

When I lost my baby, admittedly it was back in 1966, I asked about clothes for him and the hospital said they would see to it, I don't know what he wore on his final journey as we did not even get asked about a funeral so I just hope he was put in something suitable. It still hurts.


----------



## youngblood57 (May 8, 2012)

honestly I think if you can get through it without crying then you are doing good. I made one cried every stitch of the way. I decided that knitting warm clothing for the homeless was where I needed to be.


----------



## lovelandjanice (Aug 8, 2012)

wonderful idea. They are so much needed (unfortunately) and so appreciated. I have made them in the past and have them on my list for 2013.


----------



## laurie4 (Nov 3, 2011)

i finally got the courage to read your post anything that said burial gowns i don't usually read i totally understand someone saying it is morbid maybe that is a strong word uncomfortable would be a bit better i lost a grand nephew after birth he was a twin that i why i don't read these posts it is too hard but i never asked my niece what he left with i don't think i ever will it would be too painful for us but good for you for doing it i do lots of charity knitting maybe one day i will be brave enough and do what you do keep on doing it i know personally that all we do for these hospitals is really appreciated by famillies


----------



## CYFFAN (Oct 24, 2012)

I started to make these gowns quite recently. I take my knitting with me on the bus to work. I have a co-worker who found out I was making them. She shared with me that she lost a newborn about 15 years ago. I was so upset to have brought that memory to her. However she shared with me what a wonderful thing it was to have these gowns. She told me how much it meant to her and her family. She ended up comforting me! I had no idea this had happened to her. I see her differently now. Given her reaction and personal experience I am planning on continuing my gown knitting. Every baby deserves the basics.


----------



## Cricket918 (Mar 9, 2012)

My friends wife has knitted many burial sacks and gowns for preemies that didn't make it. She thinks it is a gift to those who needed them. I agree. It must be a comfort to have something so beautiful to place their babies in for their final journey. Nothing morbid about this. Bless you!


----------



## Diane D (Apr 7, 2012)

Mevbb said:


> Just think this is beautiful for your purpose.
> 
> https://dl-web.dropbox.com/get/Public/1344413440321-knit_angel_wrap.doc?w=ec972d02
> 
> You will have to copy and paste address. It comes from my drop box and. I cannot get it so it goes directly to the site.


Tried to do this on my drop box but nothing comes up


----------



## grandmaof7 (Feb 6, 2011)

Death is part of life so you go with your heart. It's not morbid at all. There is a need and you can fill that need with your talent. Bless you.


----------



## Ruth Ray (Dec 31, 2012)

This is a link to a UK org that asks for knitted wraps for preemies, stillborns and yes, even miscarried babies. They have patterns that can be used by anyone for any of their projects there or in other countries.
http://cuddles-uk.org/
Ruth


----------



## anjaa (Sep 19, 2012)

Lion Website has free patterns http://www.lionbrand.com/freePatterns.html

For premies, babies and toddlers try

http://cache.lionbrand.com/cgi-bin/patternList.fcgi?tXX=1&d=Infants&s=Crochet

and this one for knitters
http://cache.lionbrand.com/cgi-bin/patternList.fcgi?tXX=1&d=Infants&s=Knit



Diane D said:


> Mevbb said:
> 
> 
> > Just think this is beautiful for your purpose.
> ...


----------



## Wannabe knitter (Aug 1, 2012)

My friend had a stillborn and she said it was such a comfort to her to have received baby items for her girl. She took up knitting, and now knits for other babies who die at birth. It brings Her a lot of comfort.


----------



## lovelandjanice (Aug 8, 2012)

There is nothing wrong in crying. Tears show that you care and we need more people in this world who care. Think about the parents who know that someone thinks enough about their child to knit and maybe cry for them. Somehow we can detach ourselves from the homeless and their plight, but babies always have a soft spot in our hearts.


----------



## momma.B (Dec 31, 2012)

hi Zara, I too live in the maritimes and did some knitting for the purple campaign. this sounds like a good idea too. can you post the patterns you found.


----------



## sam0767 (Jun 20, 2012)

taznwinston said:


> God Bless you Zara! And others like you. We are all LED to do something, and if we sit quietly and listen with our heart, we will know what it is we are to do. Apparently you have been listening and have heard your message. Lucky you! So often, some people wander through out their entire lives not being still for 1 moment, not listening and never hearing. For them it is sad. For you I say How wonderful!
> What you are embarking on is truly a precious gift to the grieving parents. Never allow any one to make you feel this effort is wasted on the dead, for any comfort your gifts offer to the parents is priceless.


 :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:


----------



## sam0767 (Jun 20, 2012)

laceweight said:


> Zara, an act of true charity and love; thank you so much! When we donate it is comfortable to believe that a living person will enjoy our work. You know your work is important to those devastated parents and shows them that their loss is acknowledged by the larger community. Thank you for your kindness.
> 
> Jan


So well put. :thumbup:


----------



## grandmatimestwo (Mar 30, 2011)

Follow your heart. It will lead you in the right direction.


----------



## purplelady (Aug 23, 2012)

I think it is a wonderful item to give.
Parents will not , usually have small items for this need. Good gift to them.
bet


----------



## jberg (Mar 23, 2011)

Good morning.and you do it! I volunteer with a local Newborns in Need group where we package up items to be distributed to hospitals etc. Sometimes we have requests for Burial Layettes. I have sewn burial outfits for both boys and girls. A friend of mine who works for the County said that in this day and age no one takes a baby home without clothing. WRONG! We (the NIN group) get letters from hospitals almost begging for outfits, many times for burials. We keep a supply of hats, booties, blankets, dresses and boy suits on hand for this. Awhile ago I was trying out some patterns and made 3 sweaters for the NIN. At the next meeting the woman in charge gave me a copy of a letter from a hospital stating that a woman had a baby who died and they had nothing to put the baby in. And then she remembered my sweaters.A baby went to heaven in my sweater. My heart soars! If you look at the Newborns in Need website they will give you guidelines for making items, esp for babies not fully developed or full-term. We recently started a knit/crochet group at my church and after telling them about NIN one woman exclusively makes preemie burial blankets. She lost 2 nephews many years ago; one lived 4 days, one a few hours I think. THERE IS A NEED. Not everybody can do this and if you feel called to do something here, follow your heart like others have said. My very pregnant daughter in Alaska recently sent me news of a friend who was also pregnant but knew that the baby would only live a short time. She delivered Joey who lived 88 minutes. Earlier on in her pregnancy she had a blog in which she was asking if anyone knew of places to get clothing for her as-yet unborn baby to be buried in. I found out too late to do anything about it. Anyhow. The whole message here is:YES! PM me if you wish. And thanks for posting a sensitive but oh, so necessary topic. Happy Needling. jberg


----------



## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

You are doing a loving, compassionate task for the parents and the children. After all, is taking care of hospice patients morbid? Is helping a friend who is in mourning morbid? Is the Grant a Wish Foundation morbid? Not everyone can handle sharing someone else's pain, but there are a precious few, like you, who will take that on.

I would never have thought of doing this. It is a beautiful gesture. In a sense, you are sharing in their grief, you are taking on a bit of that yourself, and that is a truly selfless gesture. What is more heart-wrenching than the death of a child, and you are allowing yourself to consider this loss as you use your talents to provide comfort. 

It's a privilege to be able to do something like this. It's an honor to have a precious and beloved child placed in a garment you've made. This is beyond good. God bless you.

Bonnie (bonbf3)


----------



## mama879 (Jan 27, 2011)

I think you are doing what needs to be done for these parents. It is a wonderful thing for you to do. Why not spread your time between the church and the Hospital. Any thing you can give will be appreciated by any one. Make few outfits for the Hospital then a few for needy people then you cover all the needy. If any one ever says anything to you. Put your hand out for a money donation or ask them to buy a gown for the hospital see what they say... These people have never lost a little angel and do not know how it feels. Keep on going it is great...


----------



## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

jberg said:


> Good morning.and you do it! I volunteer with a local Newborns in Need group where we package up items to be distributed to hospitals etc. Sometimes we have requests for Burial Layettes. I have sewn burial outfits for both boys and girls. A friend of mine who works for the County said that in this day and age no one takes a baby home without clothing. WRONG! We (the NIN group) get letters from hospitals almost begging for outfits, many times for burials. We keep a supply of hats, booties, blankets, dresses and boy suits on hand for this. Awhile ago I was trying out some patterns and made 3 sweaters for the NIN. At the next meeting the woman in charge gave me a copy of a letter from a hospital stating that a woman had a baby who died and they had nothing to put the baby in. And then she remembered my sweaters.A baby went to heaven in my sweater. My heart soars! If you look at the Newborns in Need website they will give you guidelines for making items, esp for babies not fully developed or full-term. We recently started a knit/crochet group at my church and after telling them about NIN one woman exclusively makes preemie burial blankets. She lost 2 nephews many years ago; one lived 4 days, one a few hours I think. THERE IS A NEED. Not everybody can do this and if you feel called to do something here, follow your heart like others have said. My very pregnant daughter in Alaska recently sent me news of a friend who was also pregnant but knew that the baby would only live a short time. She delivered Joey who lived 88 minutes. Earlier on in her pregnancy she had a blog in which she was asking if anyone knew of places to get clothing for her as-yet unborn baby to be buried in. I found out too late to do anything about it. Anyhow. The whole message here is:YES! PM me if you wish. And thanks for posting a sensitive but oh, so necessary topic. Happy Needling. jberg


You are doing a wonderful thing. My post to Ruth Ray applies to you, too. The world is a better place because of people like you.
Bonnie (bonbf3)


----------



## Teatime4granny (Apr 4, 2011)

I make all sorts of things for NIN (Newborns In Need), Blankets, bibs, booties and more, I also make Burial Pouches. Some like a sleeping bag, some knitted. I talked to a lady who had lost her Angel, and she was so appreciative of the burial gown given to the Angel. It just breaks your heart that someone has to go thru that. 
Don't let anyone change what is in your heart. We all have a special purpose in life, If it is making a layet for a baby, or a burial gown. Go with your heart.


----------



## Donnaj65 (Sep 26, 2012)

I think it is wonderful and compassionate that you want to do this. Bottom line is that you are doing it for the grieving parents as well as an act of kindness for the child. It is an unforgettable act of kindness and you will be blessed for it from now on. I have no doubt that you will still be knitting for other causes as well. God bless you and your wonderful ministry.


----------



## NancySB (Dec 22, 2012)

a beautiful tribute for the baby, knitted with love, to the grieving parents.


----------



## anjaa (Sep 19, 2012)

Bless you

Not only are you filling a need

But probably even more importantly - at a time when the parent(s) feel so alone - they know there is someone out there who understands and cared enough to put in so much time and effort

It is a hugely imprtant thing for so many reasons


----------



## shibelle (Jun 23, 2011)

Zara, Listen to your heart and continue to provide warmth and beauty to these babies. They, too, deserve dignity in death.


----------



## sylviaelliott (May 11, 2011)

Zara said:


> I donate knitted baby and preemie baby items to our local childrens and maternity hospital. They have a very well known NICU which serves the whole Maritime region in Canada. I was in touch with the director who coordinates the Angel Stitches program and I inquired if they use burial gowns and pouches. Her answer was "Yes. They are so comforting for the grieving parents who may not have something to wrap the sweet babes in on their final journey."
> So now I really want to knit such items and have came across the knitting patterns which are just what I was looking for.
> However, and I know some of you will relate to this, the feedback from a few people I have mentioned this to is that it is really rather morbid.
> But the way I look at it, is this really any different from donating knitted hats, scarves and mitts to the homeless?
> ...


it's not morbid at all - it's how it is and it is nice for the parents to have a little gown for their babies who didn't make it. if the hospital wants the gowns, knit them. i knit them for my local unit and they are always pleased to get them.


----------



## missjg (Nov 18, 2012)

anything that 'can' bring a little light into a dark place has got to be a good thing.


----------



## mequeenb (Jul 6, 2012)

What you are doing will bring peace and comfort to grieving families......yes there are people who are homeless and in need.....from what Ive seen on this forum there are a lot of women who knit and donate to those kind of charities....I think you have a special calling for your knitting.....Be BLESSED in all that you do.....your labor of love will be greatly appreciated.....


----------



## Jillobeach (Nov 8, 2011)

I worked in a NICU for 25 years. There were knitters who gifted the NICU with beautiful and I'm sure lovingly knitted articles of clothing, burial clothes included. I cannot express enough how appreciated those items were. We had a practice for parents who wanted to participate, that would allow parents to bathe and dress the babies who died and we would take pictures of the baby dressed in a beautiful gown. The little belongings the baby had acquired, the pictures, a lock of hair, foot print etc. was placed in a little momento box and given to parents. The nurses and parents were so appreciative for these. Your loving gift is truly need and I personally wants to thank you for all that you do. May God Bless You.


----------



## Smee (Jul 23, 2011)

When I said to my son, about I was thinking of knitting some of these. But not sure, he answered if you dont who will? Mum and dad will be to sad, as will grannies and aunties. Who is left YOU.  So go ahead. There is a need. I have been doing it for 2 years. Hugs


----------



## EZ2 (Aug 11, 2011)

I do not think it is morbid at all to do a service to grieving parents. I think it is an act of love.


----------



## nanysue (Dec 4, 2012)

i think its a lovely idea i would like 2 do the same my niece has had 2 babies this year who have both died u keep up the good work x


----------



## Chrissy (May 3, 2011)

Well Zara, I have just read all 12 pages, guess the majority are with you. :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:


----------



## darski (Jan 25, 2012)

This post has given me my NY's resolution for 2013... I plan to make at least one burial outfit/pouch a month over this year.


----------



## galaxycraft (Feb 15, 2011)

Chrissy said:


> Well Zara, I have just read all 12 pages, guess the majority are with you. :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:


Isn't that the truth!
All the support, all the love and compassion, all the personal stories (for which most made me cry...a good thing I know).
{hugs} to everyone.


----------



## Beth72 (Sep 23, 2012)

elbev said:


> go with your heart and dont listen to other people. It is a good cause.


I agree whole heartedly!!!


----------



## jeanbess (Aug 20, 2011)

Zara said:


> I donate knitted baby and preemie baby items to our local childrens and maternity hospital. They have a very well known NICU which serves the whole Maritime region in Canada. I was in touch with the director who coordinates the Angel Stitches program and I inquired if they use burial gowns and pouches. Her answer was "Yes. They are so comforting for the grieving parents who may not have something to wrap the sweet babes in on their final journey."
> So now I really want to knit such items and have came across the knitting patterns which are just what I was looking for.
> However, and I know some of you will relate to this, the feedback from a few people I have mentioned this to is that it is really rather morbid.
> But the way I look at it, is this really any different from donating knitted hats, scarves and mitts to the homeless?
> ...


If you decide to do this an extra boodie would be a nice keep sake


----------



## mamahen (May 26, 2011)

Zara said:


> I donate knitted baby and preemie baby items to our local childrens and maternity hospital. They have a very well known NICU which serves the whole Maritime region in Canada. I was in touch with the director who coordinates the Angel Stitches program and I inquired if they use burial gowns and pouches. Her answer was "Yes. They are so comforting for the grieving parents who may not have something to wrap the sweet babes in on their final journey."
> So now I really want to knit such items and have came across the knitting patterns which are just what I was looking for.
> However, and I know some of you will relate to this, the feedback from a few people I have mentioned this to is that it is really rather morbid.
> But the way I look at it, is this really any different from donating knitted hats, scarves and mitts to the homeless?
> ...


What a generous heart you have. Your topic has touched many of us.

This reminds me of the time a NICU nurse came into my office to process personnel work. She had a bag of doll clothes she was taking home to launder. The nurses purchased these clothes with their own money to dress the preemies in their unit instead of using the drab hospital gowns.

Thank you for giving me a meaningful New Year's resolution. My huge yarn stash will provide many little outfits using some of the patterns that have been suggested, especially the bunting patterns.


----------



## mallardhen (Sep 24, 2011)

You are so kind and thoughtful to want to do this for someone, yes new born babies need warm things to wear but what you will be doing is like a warm hug for the parents. People may not realize the last look at their baby will be etched in their momory forever and your kindness will make that memory so much nicer. The baby is already warm and happy in the arms of our loving Faather in heaven and doesn't need anything but the parents and family will only have the memory of their last moments before their child is puat to rest forever your kindness will make a better memory. As a parent who lost a child long ago the memory is always there no matter how long.


----------



## Juleen (Jun 3, 2011)

Zara--I can't imagine any item more precious to a mother and father than a beautiful gown for their baby to be buried in. I lost a niece at birth and know how hard it was for my brother and SIL. Your kindness and gift of love for such a little one would be more than welcome!


----------



## LunaDragon (Sep 8, 2012)

Do not worry about what others think. It is how you feel and many families are happy people think to help out. Many do not want to think of death let alone a new born not making it. How morbid is it to just put a naked new born in a grave and nothing to wrap and comfort it to let it know it was loved. People are silly. Do what your heart tells you!


----------



## Betulove (Mar 11, 2011)

I hope and pray not one other person has to walk in my shoes. My oldest grand son wife is carrying a beautiful baby girl that will be born in April. The baby will not live. She is missing cromosones. Thru the ulter sound we know she has sist on the brain and holes in her heart. Now she a happy baby living off her mother. Her name is Hazel Rose. I burst in tears for the pain she feels and the doctor are in courging her to talk with the other children. Which they desided to do closer to the time. I am knitting for Hazel she will be wrap in a beautiful blanket and dressed in something I hand made for her. I was blessed with the talent to do this for them. Do not know if this is a blessing or not knowing. The daddy ask us not to grief over her now for she is alive. Life not always roses. It take some fertilizer..


----------



## Zara (Oct 24, 2011)

Well Ladies, 12 pages later and many PM, I have lost count of the number of kleenex I have gone through after reading all of the encouraging comments . Most touching are the actual experiences so many of you shared first hand with the sadness of a lost child and explaining the need for these items. I applaud you for the strength to open up your hearts and emotions to all of us. I think I can safely add that there are so many of us who had no idea what actually happens with the birth and death certificates. I am so thankful to you all and wish you and your families a Happy New Year.
Love and best wishes to you all
Gill xoxo


----------



## Fourel (Jun 25, 2012)

I think making and donating burial gowns is a wonderful gift to grieving parents at a difficult time.


----------



## Blinda (Aug 15, 2012)

In a situation like this I always ask myself what would make me feel better. Well, losing my baby, nothing would ever make me feel better. However, I cannot imagine the added pain of having to go shopping for a blanket or wrap to bury my baby in. How much I would appreciate a hand made with love wrap you cannot imagine. Moms don't go to the hospital prepared for the death of their baby. They go planning on bringing home a bundle of joy. Any, any, any little thing we can do to help them get thru this will be most gladly received.
Yes, there are many many living babies that need blankets and there are many many knitters making those blankets. How many of us are knitting these much needed wraps for dead babies?
I say God Bless You.


----------



## denisejh (May 20, 2011)

Zara-Those who feel it is morbid have never lost a baby. I think burial gowns are just as important to the grieving family as regular baby clothes are to anyone else. It may not seem logical but the grieving parents want something warm and soft for their lost child to wear. It's an emotional issue but an important one. Go ahead and knit the burial items. You will be giving great comfort to someone for your efforts. Denise


----------



## supergirl6116 (Apr 3, 2011)

This same topic came up in our group when we discussed what we would make for the coming year. One lady said it would just be to hard for her to do as they had lost a baby in their immediate family not so long ago. We understood her point of view, but also decided that those who wished to proceed could do so. It is a need in the community, heartbreaking as it is. I say go with your heart. Love is never wrong!


----------



## MaidInBedlam (Jul 24, 2012)

Zara, I would go with what the person who coordinates the Angel Stitches program said. I am sure that the grieving parents are indeed comforted by having something to wrap their lost children in. All the pictures of burial gowns I've seen here on KP have been especially beautiful. If someone thinks it's morbid, kindly decline to discuss it with them.


----------



## Mma (Jan 21, 2011)

I lost my infant son 38 years ago to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. Brent was 12 weeks old. Since I've joined Project Linus our chapter makes blankets and hats for Angel Babies. I was honored to be asked to contribute to the cause. There is nothing, and I do mean nothing, more heart breaking then the death of a sweet, innocent baby. If my contribution can help ease the parent(s) pain by even the smallest bit I am honored to do so. Keep up your good work and God bless you and those tiny souls.


----------



## nanasharon (Nov 6, 2012)

My nephew had his son stillborn just 3 months ago. It breaks your heart. Bless you for thinking of people who have lost a child, they may not have something for the baby and you are willing to fill that need. Can you suggest some patterns for this? I have never heard of angel pouches.


----------



## sibergirl (May 4, 2011)

It is an act of charity to do any kind of needlework for others. Personally, I would find it too emotionally difficult to make burial gowns for little babies, but I admire those who can.


----------



## MelissaC (May 27, 2012)

I think it's pretty narrow minded and immature for someone to call this type of giving morbid. It's probably one of the most selfless IMO. You know that your finished object is going for a sad purpose but you knit love and compassion in every stitch. It takes a piece of you. While you're working on it it keeps your mind on things that most people chose to not think about because it's so sad and scary. If you enjoy knitting for this cause, and it is a great one, keep it up!


----------



## brain56 (Aug 31, 2012)

Chrissy said:


> Well Zara, I have just read all 12 pages, guess the majority are with you. :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:


As am I.
You are sharing the love and presence of God with these families.
Blessings to you!


----------



## panda13 (Aug 5, 2011)

God will Bless you for your caring kindness.
Just do what your heart tells you to.


----------



## KathieMT (Apr 6, 2011)

Please continue to do this. We all have our own "bell to ring". 
I also make the mourning outfits of hats and bunting, sized from premie to full term births.


----------



## barbdpayne (Jan 24, 2011)

What a lovely act of kindness. Bless you for doing something that will be so meaningful to people who are grieving.


----------



## MaiseyMay (Aug 21, 2012)

I make burial gowns and wraps for babies born asleep, it is not morbid it is a well worth charity that need people like us to do this. I know I would take great comfort in this if it was me. Please carry on and just remember the comfort you are giving to the parents who need this after a such a loss. Keep up the good work.


----------



## miffy49 (Dec 18, 2012)

Almost everything I make is donated to a UK charity supplying the specialist bereavement midwives in a whole selection of UK hospitals. I don't care if people think I'm morbid because I know from experience how much these things mean. There are heaps of people out there making clothing for the living and yet I wept over a letter from a mortuary technician who had been trying to fashion tiny gowns from Kleenex to give these little lost babies a bit of decency. Regardless what people think, I have seen the letters from parents whos lives have been made just that little bit easier because they could dress and cuddle their baby and have photos to keep their memory alive and I know that every tiny stitch is worth the effort.

My own personal speciality are little crochet cribs, lined in satin with matching blanket and pillow and each with a tiny one or two inch teddy. Every child needs a teddy however short their stay on earth!


----------



## Jaszy (Apr 30, 2011)

I agree it is morbid but "reality". 
When I was vacationing in Florida a couple years ago, the quilting group at the Sailing Club which I was invited to join was making the pouches for Port Charlotte Hospital and I got involved making dozens of these. There was a great need for them and the hospital really appreciated the donations of the baby quilts and also the burial pouches that our group passed on to them. We also made quilts for the U.S. troops. I am a Canadian from Nova Scotia and was only too happy to be involved for the 3 months that we were there. After all, just how much sun can you take! Besides, I am not one to just sit around and do nothing. It was so much fun socializing and getting something done that was worthwhile at the same time.


----------



## jberg (Mar 23, 2011)

Good morning. For people looking for patterns for this calling, if you go to the Newborns in Need official website, you will find many suggestions there from burial pouches to clothes. Thanks. And Happy Needling. jberg


----------



## emilynne capelli (Dec 19, 2012)

Morbid? Well I guess if you focus on there having been a death but I see it as a profound act of kindness.


----------



## Lily Jamjar (Dec 31, 2012)

Gosh, there are some lovely people on this site.


----------



## merrick10uk (Nov 6, 2012)

Zara the parents who lose a baby need to know that their baby is being dressed and not going to his/her funeral in a hospital gown - they are going off to the angels in a gown of their own made by loving caring hands such as yours and my sisters who also knits these. If you can find it in your heart to make these so needed pieces of clothing for these babies and their parents then you go ahead and do it - as many have said, this is your decision and not someone elses - just follow your heart xxx


----------



## joand'5 (Aug 27, 2011)

This is a true ministry. Baby bereavement buntings are something I have knitted and find that the parents who receive them for their little one are overwhelmed with thanksgiving for the love shown. Keep up this ministry!


----------



## marilyn skinner (Apr 10, 2012)

I am the Grandmother of a stillborn baby,and I think its wonderful that people take the time to do this.after he was born I came home and immediately set to making something for his burial and have since done more and donated them to the hospital.I can't give him a birthday present so in a way this my gift.I give Christmas gifts in his name to charities in Dec.I know how much your effort is appreciated as many are needed.Thank you and keep up the good work that we all do for our many charities and hospitals all around the world.In the nearly 13 years I have been busy I can't count how many I've made and double could have been done.


----------



## Betulove (Mar 11, 2011)

I think after this experience I will try to knit at least one set a year for the rest of my life. I had no idea until I had to walk this path. Ingnorance is bliss and I speak of my self and no one else.


----------



## galaxycraft (Feb 15, 2011)

Lily Jamjar said:


> Gosh, there are some lovely people on this site.


Welcome to our little home in cyberspace.
Hope we didn't make you cry too much.


----------



## Rev-Linda (Oct 28, 2012)

I Think that it is wonderful for the baby to have something special to wear. When this hardship hits a family there are times that they wouldn't be able to find a suitable clothes. As it is often hard to find any outfit that they would want.
The family will be blessed by it.
God Bless you. 
Rev. Linda


----------



## Pat FP (Nov 30, 2011)

Zara, this would be a beautiful gift to the grieving parents. Hugs to you


----------



## birthcenter25 (Dec 31, 2012)

Zara, I have been a labor and delivery nurse for 25 years. Most birth experiences are happy but occasionally you have a Mom and Dad that loose their baby to unforseen events. They cherish small tokens such as footprints of their little one, a lock of hair, a blanket the baby was wrapped in, etc. I think your idea to make these garments is very loving and very kind. I know they will be appreciated by the family and also by the nurse that attends these parents. Blessings to you for taking on such a worthwhile project. I know from experience they will be greatly received. Thank you, signed a California R.N.


----------



## Mimi Cindy (Aug 10, 2011)

What a wonderful thing to do for grieving parents. Your thoughtfulness will be so appreciated in time of sorrow.
Knit on my friend.


----------



## JoyceinNC (Oct 28, 2011)

Knittyjen said:


> Hi Zara, I too have knitted a few burial gowns, but they are really very pretty and only suitable for a baby girl.
> 
> As one of the ladies who replied to you said more little boys than girls seem to need these garments, I wonder if you may be able to tell me if you have found a pattern more suitable for a little boy please.
> 
> ...


I don't know what is available in your area. There are organizations here in the US that have patterns available for preemie burial. Some of the other volunteers I know have scaled down newborn patterns to make modern, contemporary clothing. Personally, I use a pattern that looks like an old fashioned christening gown, but much smaller and more simple to make. It is available through Newborns In Need, but I don't know if it has been digitized so it can be sent through email or not. Started out making an old fashioned bonnet, but realized that knitted beanies were preferred by the moms. Most of the gowns I make are in blue batiste ( I can't remember off hand what you call batiste, it's thinner than standard shirt fabric), but use as much white fabric, if not more. A favorite thing I like to do is use the built in sewing machine stitches to make "fancy bands" to run the length of the gown at the center front. It is challenging, to be sure, to be decorative without being frilly. The white gowns usually have blue embroidery or other trim. Some of the gowns are white on white, but not many. Sometimes I make a shirt tail kind of hem, so the gown looks like a night shirt from Charles Dickens' time. Very small gingham checks in blue and white work well also.

The hospitals around me don't want any burial clothing in ivory, yellow or green. Currently, I have a pile of crochet items that need liners made for them because the crochet stitches are too lacy and peek-a-boo. A couple of them are in mint green. They are pretty, but I doubt that the hospitals will take them. Sad when I think that some dear lady put her heart in to every stitch.


----------



## Taillta (Feb 24, 2011)

You would be creating these for a poignant need. I had trouble carrying my babies, and so have only one child..a wonderful son who fills my heart. I have witnessed first hand how some people just don;t deal well with the notion of death, let alone that of a baby. But it is a deeply painful experience for a Mother, and the babies family. Your buriel gowns and pouches are a beautiful offering. Don;t listen to those who aren't able to think too deeply on this matter. Death is not morbid...its a reality... The death of a child is a very painful and difficult reality. Bless you for having the courage to and desire to give a little love and beauty into this painful experience.


----------



## jangmb (Oct 27, 2011)

Good for you, Zara. I am glad that you are "led" to provide this often overlooked need. Parents who lose a baby before it has a chance to live suffer a grief that most of us will never know. This is not wasted effort for a tragic loss - but provides a token of acknowledgement of their very real and deep loss. I am sure that all women who have been pregnant have loved thier baby long before it was born - so the loss is very real and tragic. Yes, there are other needs - many provide for those needs - few offer what you are now willing to do.


----------



## Prairie View (Dec 31, 2012)

Yes, yes, yes! There is a need for burial gowns. My best friend searched all over a major city until the stores closed to no avail. Her baby granddaughter was still born. 

We never thought to phone a co-worker who made ceramic dolls and dressed them.

Needless to say, it tore our hearts to see the mortician carry a small casket and to realize that that child never had the opportunity to live, laugh, love and be loved.

You will be blessed!


----------



## DonnieK (Nov 23, 2011)

I too knit and crochet burial gowns and have had lots of people tell me I am morbid. But, after losing a grandchild of my own, I know how much it means to have a "wrap" for a baby that is so very tiny nothing fits. For those who have told me it is "morbid", I just say, "Well, you do what makes you feel okay, and I will continue to do what really matters". Keep up the good work and don't let anyone tell you what you do is morbid. It is a great kindness and a great thing for the parents of those babies who needed to go back home.


----------



## mkts03 (Sep 2, 2011)

Zara, I knit and crochet 15 inch afgans and hats for the pre natal hospice here in Mo. These are for parents that have been advised by the doctors that the child will probably not live, etc. My group has receives many letters of thanks from the parents. They express their appreciation for comfort and love they received from strangers who care. It means a great deal to them that others understand and keep them in their prays. Follow your Heart.


----------



## julielacykntr (May 5, 2012)

It is a wonderful, thoughtful and loving gift of your talent you are giving. I am sure that those in need are greatful that this aspect is 'taken care of' by a thoughtful donor. Joy to you in your heartfelt giving!


----------



## Patricia Opalka (Mar 13, 2011)

It is not morbid. It is very comforting to the grieving parents. Please continue your good works. happy new year and may god bless you.


----------



## btypolice (Aug 23, 2011)

would you mind sharing the pattern you use? thank you!


----------



## btypolice (Aug 23, 2011)

would you mind sharing the pattern that you use? I may want to do this too...thank you


----------



## nhauf001 (Jan 18, 2011)

Zara said:


> I donate knitted baby and preemie baby items to our local childrens and maternity hospital. They have a very well known NICU which serves the whole Maritime region in Canada. I was in touch with the director who coordinates the Angel Stitches program and I inquired if they use burial gowns and pouches. Her answer was "Yes. They are so comforting for the grieving parents who may not have something to wrap the sweet babes in on their final journey."
> So now I really want to knit such items and have came across the knitting patterns which are just what I was looking for.
> However, and I know some of you will relate to this, the feedback from a few people I have mentioned this to is that it is really rather morbid.
> But the way I look at it, is this really any different from donating knitted hats, scarves and mitts to the homeless?
> ...


I think the people who think it is morbid need to get some empathy. It has to be hard to lose a child. I should think there would be some comfort in knowing that someone took the time and effort to make a hand crafted gown to send the baby to heaven.


----------



## GrandmaMoses (Sep 1, 2011)

Sad but not morbid. Unfortunately I just witnessed a young woman go through the pain and sorrow of losing her baby just weeks short of the baby's due date. The cap and blanket that wrapped her little angle were gifts of love and healing. Like others have said, follow your heart.


----------



## mthrift (Jan 2, 2012)

I think that lots of people "open their mouths", and somehow define themselves by being "negative". They are dealing with their own fear and stress about death. There are times when you have to "consider the source" and "intention", and FOLLOW YOUR OWN HEART. You have spoken to those directly involved, and you KNOW that they are deeply needed, and the grieving are deeply comforted. THAT IS WHAT MATTERS.. There is always someone that will "DOWN" anything, you attempt to do! Believe in YOURSELF. You are on the right path in my mind! You are doing it "IN LOVE" for the bereaved!


----------



## bellestarr12 (Mar 26, 2011)

You are doing a great kindness for people who are in great need of it. Follow your heart. There is such a need for compassion in this world that I don't think any of us should criticize anyone else for where or how or to whom they choose to offer it. Bless you.

One of my husband's grad students recently lost a baby at 6 months. She's from China and has no family here except her husband, and to have the joy of her pregnancy turned to tragedy devastated her. A gift like the one you offer would have given her some much-needed comfort, I'm sure. 

You are doing something very, very good. Don't let others make you doubt yourself.


----------



## elsie lacey (Dec 31, 2012)

Zara, can you post the directions for the gowns you described? THanks


----------



## Edith M (Aug 10, 2011)

I do not think it is morbid at all. I lost one of my sons many years ago and was horrified to find that the hospital kept the bodies until they had "enough" to fill a small box. They were wrapped in paper until then and were buried in graves that had just a number. My husband and I arrainged a private burial and I had a tiny white christening gown that I had him dressed in and wrapped him in a blue recieving blanket. He was not a mistake or an acident. He was my son. Those who say negative things about your work do not understand the heartbreak of a lost child and should be ignored if they csn not be made to see te signifagance of your act of kindness. Please do not stop on their account. God Bless you.


----------



## kneonknitter (Feb 10, 2011)

Zara said:


> I donate knitted baby and preemie baby items to our local childrens and maternity hospital. They have a very well known NICU which serves the whole Maritime region in Canada. I was in touch with the director who coordinates the Angel Stitches program and I inquired if they use burial gowns and pouches. Her answer was "Yes. They are so comforting for the grieving parents who may not have something to wrap the sweet babes in on their final journey."
> So now I really want to knit such items and have came across the knitting patterns which are just what I was looking for.
> However, and I know some of you will relate to this, the feedback from a few people I have mentioned this to is that it is really rather morbid.
> But the way I look at it, is this really any different from donating knitted hats, scarves and mitts to the homeless?
> ...


I think this is a wonderful thing for you to do & in my mind is exactly the same as knitting warm clothing for the living. Parents who lose newborns aren't about to go out 'clothes shopping' at a time like this & to bury their beloved baby in something beautiful that is lovingly made by hand has got to be a huge comfort. Keep up the great work you are doing.


----------



## MsJackie (Nov 22, 2011)

Bless you for offering a little piece of comfort to those grieving parents.


----------



## laurie4 (Nov 3, 2011)

edithm omg i am so sorry to hear that they do that i never heard of that before wow my father in law was in a grave like that just a number in the files years ago his mom had no money for a grave site we finally found him last year after 40 yrs of searching it is so painful to think that we cannot go for a visit but that is how it was done after reading these posts i think i will start knitting for these special people


----------



## m_azingrace (Mar 14, 2012)

Zara said:


> I donate knitted baby and preemie baby items to our local childrens and maternity hospital. They have a very well known NICU which serves the whole Maritime region in Canada. I was in touch with the director who coordinates the Angel Stitches program and I inquired if they use burial gowns and pouches. Her answer was "Yes. They are so comforting for the grieving parents who may not have something to wrap the sweet babes in on their final journey."
> So now I really want to knit such items and have came across the knitting patterns which are just what I was looking for.
> However, and I know some of you will relate to this, the feedback from a few people I have mentioned this to is that it is really rather morbid.
> But the way I look at it, is this really any different from donating knitted hats, scarves and mitts to the homeless?
> ...


In 1970 I gave birth to twin girls. Dianna is now a lovely woman with children of her own. Sadly, Debra lived just 36 hours before joining our Lord in Heaven. Overwhelmed with grief, worry over the surviving baby, and mounting medical bills, we were grateful for any kindness that came to us. The funeral parlor had a no-charge policy for children under 12 months, regardless of the parents' ability to pay. They provided a beautiful service for our dear infant. I have never forgotten that selfless act. 
But there were cynics who criticized the practice, remarking that it was "just good business". How hurtful and mean-spirited can some people be? 
I would have welcomed a lovingly made burial gown. It would have comforted both me and my husband to know that a stranger cared so much.
If it is in your heart to do this, do not let anyone discourage you from it.


----------



## suzette770 (Apr 12, 2012)

Zara, this is a wonderful project. My first grandbaby was a tiny girl of three pounds who lived her first 14 days in the NICU. On that 14th day we gathered together with her parents in an isolated low lit room full of Kleenex boxes and passed Amber Nicole around to say a final goodbye. On the second time around, my husband looked up at me and said, "She's gone". He felt her pass on to her next life. We had nothing to bury her in. The nurse came and took her away where she was given to the funeral home to bury whenever they could. That was 24 years ago and I thank G-d things have changed. Are tiny burial garments necessary- YES absolutely! Only those who have never gone through this terrible loss can call it morbid. Blessings on you.


----------



## sockyarn (Jan 26, 2011)

To honor both the living and the dead I would knit the burial gowns and pouches as well as little outfits for the ones that get to go home.


----------



## ladystarshine (Apr 29, 2011)

I think it is very sweet


----------



## Knitlady999 (Jul 1, 2011)

God's Love is the greatest gift. Please keep giving your gift of comfort. Remember the empty arms of greaving loveones.
Knitlady999


----------



## elaine_1 (Apr 5, 2011)

I really dont think you should worry about being morbid, my own two daughters lost babies, and as they didnt go into hospital expecting to give birth, they had nothing, as soon as I saw them I took along the shawls I had lovingly made for the new arrivals and then dashed home to make some thing really lovely for them to be dressed in... Its an awful time for the family andnot something you relish doing, looking through baby clothes in the stores to find something to bury your baby in.. It took me, the grandma a long time before I was comfortable walking near baby isles in supermarkets, and I often left sobbing, so please go ahead and help someone through a terrible journey.. much love elaine


Zara said:


> I donate knitted baby and preemie baby items to our local childrens and maternity hospital. They have a very well known NICU which serves the whole Maritime region in Canada. I was in touch with the director who coordinates the Angel Stitches program and I inquired if they use burial gowns and pouches. Her answer was "Yes. They are so comforting for the grieving parents who may not have something to wrap the sweet babes in on their final journey."
> So now I really want to knit such items and have came across the knitting patterns which are just what I was looking for.
> However, and I know some of you will relate to this, the feedback from a few people I have mentioned this to is that it is really rather morbid.
> But the way I look at it, is this really any different from donating knitted hats, scarves and mitts to the homeless?
> ...


----------



## mthrift (Jan 2, 2012)

There is the Christmas story by Dr. Seuss about the Grinch, and that his "HEART was MANY sizes TOO SMALL". I think that this is the issue..... FEAR drives many folks. You cannot stop people from feeling or saying what they do. But YOUR HEART is in the RIGHT PLACE and the RIGHT SIZE. Do not let them SHRINK your heart to their size, to make them feel better! Keep yours OPEN and giving and JUST THE RIGHT SIZE making the truly bereaved feel better!


----------



## KayRedHat (Dec 11, 2012)

I think it's a very generous idea. If there is a want and need, and you want to do it....by all means do it!


----------



## gmaison (May 24, 2012)

some may be offended by this comparison, but I am going to relate it anyway...My daughter had a 6 month old puppy she loved dearly...her boyfriend let it out without a leash and it got hit by a car. Michelle was devastated !! She loved this little guy. The vet clinic she worked at provided her with a hand made burial pouch for the pup. A customer of the clinic made them to be donated to any family wanting something nice for their pet's burial. My daughter cried buckets of tears thinking how nice this was for some stranger to have done for her and her pup.
...any parent having just lost a child would be overwhelmed with your special gift....


----------



## shiradon (Apr 6, 2012)

I understand what you are saying Zara. our sr group also does this as well as little blankets which I have named heavenly blankets. The other ladies have started calling them this also.
Making a positive difference in another life is a good thing and not everyone will do this. Here is a pat on the back for your work. thank you for caring.


----------



## Lolly12 (Oct 10, 2012)

Zara said:


> I donate knitted baby and preemie baby items to our local childrens and maternity hospital. They have a very well known NICU which serves the whole Maritime region in Canada. I was in touch with the director who coordinates the Angel Stitches program and I inquired if they use burial gowns and pouches. Her answer was "Yes. They are so comforting for the grieving parents who may not have something to wrap the sweet babes in on their final journey."
> So now I really want to knit such items and have came across the knitting patterns which are just what I was looking for.
> However, and I know some of you will relate to this, the feedback from a few people I have mentioned this to is that it is really rather morbid. .
> But the way I look at it, is this really any different from donating knitted hats, scarves and mitts to the homeless?
> ...


Don't ever worry about other people and what they think.You are giving from your heart and in my books that is special,Do what your heart tells you

  :-D :-D


----------



## jeannewmie (Aug 12, 2011)

I got the same looks from people when telling them that I was knitting blankets for babies that didn't make it. Then, when I told a curious lady about it, she started crying and said "I lost a baby and would have loved to have wrapped her in something so sweet." Made all the nay-sayer's remarks disappear.

If this choice is placed on your heart, do it! Don't ignore the call.

Jeanne


----------



## Betty White (Feb 14, 2011)

Please keep on with your generous heart, Zara. I would not have known how much this kind of gift was needed before September 17, when our beautiful 19-day old great granddaughter died suddenly and unexpectedly. Parents are so grief stricken they can hardly plan a burial. In this case, family had to do it for them. We would have welcomed a burial gown and didn't know they existed. What a wonderful heart you have.
Betty



Lolly12 said:


> Zara said:
> 
> 
> > I donate knitted baby and preemie baby items to our local childrens and maternity hospital. They have a very well known NICU which serves the whole Maritime region in Canada. I was in touch with the director who coordinates the Angel Stitches program and I inquired if they use burial gowns and pouches. Her answer was "Yes. They are so comforting for the grieving parents who may not have something to wrap the sweet babes in on their final journey."
> ...


----------



## Cpautler (Oct 26, 2011)

I think it's wonderful of you to do this! You must be a very compassionate person. A friend of min runs a grief group for couples who have lost a baby. I hate to admit that I never thought of doing this. You have inspired me! Bless you as you knit.


----------



## Knitlady999 (Jul 1, 2011)

Nicely put mthrift!


----------



## Dakota Sun (May 25, 2011)

You are an angel and a kind and thoughtful person. God Bless.
Dakota Sun


----------



## mamaw5 (Feb 12, 2012)

Bless you dear! As one who lost a new born, I know how much these things mean. Our only baby girl passed less than an hour after birth. She was just wrapped in a blanket, they wrapped her carefully so we could only see her sweet little face. They didn't want me to see her deformities. I didn't have anything to hold our cry into after. My BIL and his wife went to out house and packed up every single baby item and took them away. I know they thought they were helping, sparing me, but I was so angry. It was like she had never existed. She was buried in the outfit she would have come home in. A few days after the funeral my mom have me a box from the funeral home. Inside, along with the paper work and visiter book was a tiny pink footy suit, a matching cap and a little pink flannel blanket. Everything was trimmed in lace and had little rosebuds embroidered on them. Mom told me the funeral director said she had been dressed in them when they picked her up. Of course I cried bucket over them but they where also a comfort. It was a blessing knowing she had left the hospital dressed as I would have dressed her.
You go right ahead a and make anything you want and take comfort in knowing what a blessing it is. 
I don't know why out has never occurred to me to do so myself. I have made premie hats and booties, and a tiny sweater set for my cousins tiny, tiny baby that only lived ten days. 
Could you share the patterns, or links that you have found. 

Once again, bless you!


----------



## mthrift (Jan 2, 2012)

Thank you! My daughter lives in NYC! I love New York!


----------



## mamaw5 (Feb 12, 2012)

Bless you dear! As one who lost a new born, I know how much these things mean. Our only baby girl passed less than an hour after birth. She was just wrapped in a blanket, they wrapped her carefully so we could only see her sweet little face. They didn't want me to see her deformities. I didn't have anything to hold our cry into after. My BIL and his wife went to out house and packed up every single baby item and took them away. I know they thought they were helping, sparing me, but I was so angry. It was like she had never existed. She was buried in the outfit she would have come home in. A few days after the funeral my mom have me a box from the funeral home. Inside, along with the paper work and visiter book was a tiny pink footy suit, a matching cap and a little pink flannel blanket. Everything was trimmed in lace and had little rosebuds embroidered on them. Mom told me the funeral director said she had been dressed in them when they picked her up. Of course I cried bucket over them but they where also a comfort. It was a blessing knowing she had left the hospital dressed as I would have dressed her.
You go right ahead a and make anything you want and take comfort in knowing what a blessing it is. 
I don't know why out has never occurred to me to do so myself. I have made premie hats and booties, and a tiny sweater set for my cousins tiny, tiny baby that only lived ten days. 
Could you share the patterns, or links that you have found. 

Once again, bless you!


----------



## inot (Mar 15, 2011)

Zara we all do for charity what we can. I know lots of women turn up their noses at burial gowns. I for one, would do them. It's your gift of love to parents in a horrible situation. Those that receive the gift of love is the ones we should knit for. Yes, mittens etc are wonderful. How would you feel if you went to the hospital to have some problem in pregnancy fixed, and unfortunately it meant a non viable birth. Do what you do Zara, there is a need, it's a gift of love, and ask the people that stick up their noses, how they would feel if they got their chance to spend some time with their departed baby, what their reaction to a baby wrapped in a hospital towel/blanket or a pretty functional gown. Remember they weren't expecting a birth to occur. They were hoping to stop whatever went wrong and come back later for their live baby.


----------



## jleighton (Jan 23, 2011)

follow your heart and don't worry about what others think!


----------



## Clown Around (Feb 25, 2012)

Hi Zara; To me charity is about helping people in need. There is no comparison between who 'needs' more than another. Sharing a beautiful hand made garment to a family in grief reminds them that their child really did exist and someone cared enough to acknowledge the short life and the people they left behind.

Thank you for your kindness and compassion. Nancy


----------



## CdnKnittingNan (Nov 17, 2011)

I think it is wonderful that you would do this. It is one less thing for a grieving family to have to think about. Burials are very expensive and I'm sure the families will be touched and appreciate your compassion and the wonderful gesture. I am going to contact someone here in my town to see if I can do the same. God Bless you and Happy New Year.


----------



## CalifJane (Jul 28, 2011)

Keep it up. What a comfort for the family.


----------



## mthrift (Jan 2, 2012)

Just another reason today, on New Year's Eve, to be so thankful for this forum..... to feel blessed on connecting with so many loving and gifted people, all over the world. Thank you for asking and posting this subject! It has hit a "deep note" in the hearts of many, many of us! It has brought even more awareness to send us off into this coming New Year! Just thank you! I feel blessed for being a part of this!


----------



## bjgrafe (Mar 26, 2012)

We have a ministry, Holy Sews, started at our church, where we make complete layettes for stillborn babies. I knit little caps to go with the layettes. Our founder, Regina Binz, started this ministry when she lost a son at 7 or 8 months and could not find anything that fit him for his burial. She is bound and determined no mother should go through that sorrow. I invite you to visit our ministry web page holysews.com  and see what we have done and how we have grown. You are not doing this just for the lost baby but as a service to the family, just as you would take a casserole, or cake or some other thoughtful thing to their home in this time of sorrow. I've met parents who children were buried in my little cap, just tiny little contribution on my part, but it meant so much to them. So my advice to you is by all means donate your time and talent, it means so much to those who are hurting. They will never forget the thoughtfulness of an unknown person in their time of grief.


----------



## jjane139 (Mar 16, 2011)

Pur church-women's group has a different mission project every year. One year we chose to help Threads of Love, a group of sewing women who made burial outfits for just this purpose. We made some for girls and some for boys, using the pattern for 18" dolls. Some outfits were exquisite. We knew that some unknown family we would never meet would be comforted. I have also knit very small afghans by the dishcloth pattern that starts with three stitches at a corner and increases every row. Then I ran a ribbon through the eyelets at each edge and gave the afghans to a neonatal hospital unit near by. Far from being a "morbid" thing to do, gifts to those who cannot repay is a special pleasure and blessing. I hope that you, Zara, will be able to ignore negative comments by those who do not understand this kind of self-giving.


----------



## MIMI M (Apr 18, 2012)

You are truly a kind, giving person. So often these babies are so little even the premie clothes are too big, this is truly a gift from God you are making.


----------



## bettyirene (Apr 5, 2012)

I believe there is a need for this kind of generosity - if the parents don't want it, they can always say no - as there is no pressure...if you help send a little "angel" on it's way, dressed as an angel, I am sure most parents will appreciate your generosity, and I am sure God will bless you for using your gifted talent of knitting....You are also an "angel in disguise" when most needed...


----------



## kneonknitter (Feb 10, 2011)

suzette770 said:


> Zara, this is a wonderful project. My first grandbaby was a tiny girl of three pounds who lived her first 14 days in the NICU. On that 14th day we gathered together with her parents in an isolated low lit room full of Kleenex boxes and passed Amber Nicole around to say a final goodbye. On the second time around, my husband looked up at me and said, "She's gone". He felt her pass on to her next life. We had nothing to bury her in. The nurse came and took her away where she was given to the funeral home to bury whenever they could. That was 24 years ago and I thank G-d things have changed. Are tiny burial garments necessary- YES absolutely! Only those who have never gone through this terrible loss can call it morbid. Blessings on you.


I quite agree & also thank G-d that times have changed. 40 years ago my sister lost a newborn. The hospital called the St Vincent De Paul Society who took the baby's remains & to this day, no one knows what happened to her, where or how she was buried. My sister lived with the guilt of this to her dying day & never got over it.


----------



## lindseymary (Oct 29, 2011)

I wish there had been this in operation when our son only lived for 40 hours,we had the opportunity of having a private funeral,so Christopher had at least a shroud on.At the time the grief was so intense,I didn't even register that he had nothing.Lindseymary


----------



## k2p3-knit-on (Oct 24, 2012)

I had a friend who had a child followed by several miscarriages. Her grief was profound and she felt so alone in her grieving. To have something made with love to wrap the baby that will never hug back would have been a comfort. Compassion makes an immense difference to someone who is hurting. Bless you.


----------



## gsbyrge (Jul 12, 2011)

By all means, go with your heart. People who complain that the living need things are on the same plane as those who say that because there are children starving somewhere on earth, we should not waste our time and emotion on animals who are abused and discarded by thoughtless "owners." We can't all do it all, so each of does what we can. Bless you.


----------



## Cathy Lee (Dec 31, 2012)

I think Burial gowns are the most awesome idea I have heard of in a long time...Yes, I agree, that the parents knowing someone out there is thoughtful and caring enough to take the time to make something that is going to be worn by someone who is so precious to them--it brings tears to my eyes.


----------



## the cats meow (Sep 20, 2012)

Go with your heart, Zara and count on us Knitters to always back you up when others fail to see the kindness and compassion in your deeds.


----------



## Krzlade (Nov 6, 2012)

Everyone has a calling and if this is yours, by all means share your love and compassion in this way. I think it is exceptional that you even thought of it. As far as being morbid, are morticians looked down on for being morbid? No, that is their calling. Go with love.


----------



## Arkirma (Oct 17, 2012)

Such compassion has already been expressed, and I am thankful to know such kind people. It's been 50 years since my first child was stillborn, and the tears come when I think of him and all the other little ones who have not known the love and comfort of a mother's arms. I agree with those who say "follow your heart" for it is a good heart, and I wish you well in your work.


----------



## samgrimes (Jul 16, 2011)

Grandma Jan said:


> Zara, you are such a kind loving person. Anyone who has ever known someone who didn't get to bring their baby home because it didn't live understands what an incredible gift something beautiful to wrap their sweet angel baby in to say goodbye really is. They are in fact, dressing their child (for the only time) for it's funeral. I can only imagine how comforting it would be to be able to wrap that tiny baby in something other than a hospital towel. Grieving parents have a real need and I can only imagine the comfort your kind gifts can offer.
> 
> Follow your heart and do what you are compelled to do. There are many many different needs on this planet we share. You've chosen one. Don't let anyone make you question your decision or convince you that it's not the right one. For you it's the right one.
> 
> Well, actually, you might want to answer them by asking exactly what charity it is that they are contributing to. I'm betting at least 99% would have no answer. Ha!


I totally agree with Grandma Jan - and remember that this will be the only garment the poor parents are able to dress their child in, and I'm sure they'll thank the anonymous donor with all their hearts!


----------



## Cindy N. (Dec 31, 2012)

I am new to this Forum and was taken by the question of Burial Gowns. I am in Bereavement Ministry in my Church and am a retired LPN as well. I knit and crochet. This endeavor sounds like a beautiful way to help comfort grieving parents. I would like to add this to my list of things I do but would like to have your pattern. I have never heard of such a pattern. Are there more than one?

Cindy N.


----------



## annhannah (Nov 25, 2012)

hello zara,
i dont think it is morbid, its a lovely gesture , youre giving the parents something very personal .


----------



## Tove (Oct 27, 2012)

Zara said:


> I donate knitted baby and preemie baby items to our local childrens and maternity hospital. They have a very well known NICU which serves the whole Maritime region in Canada. I was in touch with the director who coordinates the Angel Stitches program and I inquired if they use burial gowns and pouches. Her answer was "Yes. They are so comforting for the grieving parents who may not have something to wrap the sweet babes in on their final journey."
> So now I really want to knit such items and have came across the knitting patterns which are just what I was looking for.
> 
> Zara, I have sewn burial and demise gowns and pouches and "pillows" for our huge NICU for many, many years here. I seldom advertise this volunteer project, the people at the hospital in the NICU, in emergency and in the regular maternity ward are all very familiar with my work. I get regular calls from them when the supplies get low.
> ...


----------



## Teatime4granny (Apr 4, 2011)

If you knitt or crochet the burial items, please line them with some flannel or something, as the babies skin is thin and wheeps, the liner helps with this.
Also, contact your hospital units and see what their need are. We also make mothers hankies for the mothers. sometime we put a nice verse on it.


----------



## Whalestooth (Nov 25, 2012)

It was nice to have one for my baby when he died


----------



## connieconstance (Jun 22, 2012)

I am all for it , I f i COULD DO IT HERE IN n Z 
i WOULD DO THE SAME.

My DAUGHTER runs a Little Souls charitable trust
where she takes heirloom portraits of little ones that have passed, and make up albums so the parents have some memories of them.
If anyone is interested you can go into www. little souls charitable Trust.co.nz and read about it.


----------



## nclavalley (Aug 8, 2012)

There is nothing 'morbid' about death at any age. Celebrate life, no matter how long the blessing lasts. A gift from the heart is always welcome.


----------



## martiwi (Oct 25, 2011)

Zara, morbid no, sad yes, but it is something that is needed. On a personal note my 4th child was born early and the doctor said she probably would not live through the night. I didn't think about it at the time but I would not have had anything to bury her in. Praise God she is now 46. Each one of us is put here on earth for a reason and if that is what you are led to do that's your reason.


----------



## martha9447 (Oct 26, 2012)

Not morbid. A friend of mine lost a grandson at 5 months. When I asked her if the baby had a hat and blanket she said yes, a beautiful one. The family was allowed to spend time with their baby before they left the hospital. That whole experience has encouraged me to knit for uber preemies and stillborns and to make them as beautiful as possible - no cheap yarn and no quick knits. Just my personal opinion. I knit as if they were my own and I pray for the families as I knit, like the prayer shawls.


----------



## lovelandjanice (Aug 8, 2012)

how are mothers hankies made??


----------



## Saso (Nov 25, 2012)

Well done Zara. The loss of a tiny babe is such a sad time, these parents will remember forever their little ones wrapped in a beautiful outfit knitted with love. They need beautiful memories and you can help them. God bless you.


----------



## bonbf3 (Dec 20, 2011)

Arkirma said:


> Such compassion has already been expressed, and I am thankful to know such kind people. It's been 50 years since my first child was stillborn, and the tears come when I think of him and all the other little ones who have not known the love and comfort of a mother's arms. I agree with those who say "follow your heart" for it is a good heart, and I wish you well in your work.


This is a beautiful post, Arkirma.


----------



## jberg (Mar 23, 2011)

Again, for those of you looking for patterns for this if you go to the Newborns in Need official website there are many to choose from along with guidelines for making the items. You ladies are all a blessing! Happy Needling. jberg


----------



## JoyceinNC (Oct 28, 2011)

jberg said:


> Again, for those of you looking for patterns for this if you go to the Newborns in Need official website there are many to choose from along with guidelines for making the items. You ladies are all a blessing! Happy Needling. jberg


I am a volunteer with Newborns in Need and have asked the local leaders about sharing the burial gown pattern I use. It isn't offered on the NIN web site. Got the OK, now I just need to find out what to do with it here so anyone interested can copy or download it! Ugh.....


----------



## Barbeevw (Dec 10, 2012)

Our hospital calls it their Fetal Demise program and I make doll-sized blankets for that. These wee babies are born much too early and do not survive, so most of the time there isn't anything prepared for the babe. Moms are given the blankets which can be used for burial or kept for a memory. Currently I'm making one in desert camie colors because so many of the dads lately have been deployed and that makes the death even sadder. Keep up your good work in honoring these families!


----------



## LisaBassney (Jun 10, 2011)

As the grandmother to a baby who was born at 26 weeks weighing only 1 # 12 ounces, please knit and donate as much as you want. It was a comfort to my daughter to have brightly knitted blankets over the incubator. And Natalie looked so cute in her hats. She was a miracle baby, expected to live only 3 days and never come home, she arrived at her house only a couple of days after her due date and celebrated her 7th birthday in September. She is perfect in every way. There were a few scares when we thought we might lose her and I am sure any knitted item to swaddle her in then would have been very much appreciated.


----------



## Damama (Oct 2, 2011)

elbev said:


> go with your heart and dont listen to other people. It is a good cause.


 :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:


----------



## EveS (Feb 18, 2012)

I don't think it is morbid. I think you are providing comfort to a grieving family by letting them know that it isn't just them that cares. 

A friend of my sisters works with the premies at a local hospital & she says items for babys are always appreciated.


----------



## MartiW (Mar 31, 2011)

I've been a photographer for an organization called NOW I LAY ME DOWN TO SLEEP for the last few years. We offer professional photos for parents who have lost a baby. It does sound morbid, but those who go home without their baby have to suffer so much! We give them images that they treasure forever. Most of the things I knit and crochet are for those babies! The parents can keep a little hat or tiny blanket and know that someone cares and feels their pain. I do it because I have 5 little granddaughters and can't imagine how awful it would have been to lose a baby. 
PS I do enjoy making things for family and friends and photographing happy healthy babies as well.


----------



## judib630 (Dec 27, 2012)

I think it is Wonderful Zara that you feel led to help others in their time of need and sadness. I do the same thing for our hospital and they are so much appreciated by the parents and staff! I plan to search Angel Pouch to compare patterns. The one I use came from the Project Linus site.


----------



## Silverkiwi (Feb 5, 2012)

There is nothing 'morbid' about wanting to help grieving parents!!! I also knit these garments, along with garments for the premie babies. Keep up the good work.


----------



## pjcoldren (Dec 20, 2011)

I'm sure you'll get lots of feedback -- you do what your heart tells you to do. What other people think doesn't matter, really. Think of the comfort you will be giving. If it's done with love, you can't go wrong.


----------



## mthrift (Jan 2, 2012)

YES, Just heard the meaning of COMPASSION. It means "to be with"...."to suffer with". No greater gift could mean more than to "stand with" those suffering with a lost child, and offer them the solace of "loveliness" that you offer. It cannot take away the suffering, but can make that way easier. It is the highest offering to ease the pain of those still living and enduring the loss. It is those left behind that suffer, and you are easing that! It is about "having someone's back", support, when hardship comes, and it comes to us all. <3


----------



## dkwolf (Oct 26, 2012)

if these are what you'd like to knit and give, then knit and give the sets! it's good that there are folks who are willing to meet these needs, debra


----------



## morningdew (Oct 2, 2012)

Bless you


----------



## carillonpatrice (Nov 26, 2012)

Bless you for following your heart. Things made with love are so very precious. I volunteer for a local hospice organization and know how much these acts of kindness are appreciated. You have the gift of a kind heart, follow it and don't be put off by nay-sayers.


----------



## bigalbigal3 (Mar 15, 2011)

i think it's a great idea ---- i lost a dog a few years back---no comparison---but i buried him with a blanket i had knitted--it made me feel as though a part of me went with him


----------



## NoIdleHands (Nov 24, 2012)

You are not giving the burial gown for the child. You are giving it to the parents to aid in their grief. It will be the last outfit that the parents will give their child. 

It is like any gift. Once you give the gift, it is out of your control what the recipient does with it.


----------



## run4fittness (May 22, 2011)

This is a great idea! Many parents will be thankful you went to the effort of making them. They may never tell you "thank you" but they will think it and say it many times! Bless You!


----------



## Mevbb (Sep 5, 2011)

Trying this again.

https://dl-web.dropbox.com/get/Public/1344413440321-knit_angel_wrap.pdf?w=ca2b7fdc

Found the site!

http://www.lucybug.org/knitangelwrap.html


----------



## Yarnie.One (Jul 13, 2012)

Zara said:


> I donate knitted baby and preemie baby items to our local childrens and maternity hospital. They have a very well known NICU which serves the whole Maritime region in Canada. I was in touch with the director who coordinates the Angel Stitches program and I inquired if they use burial gowns and pouches. Her answer was "Yes. They are so comforting for the grieving parents who may not have something to wrap the sweet babes in on their final journey."
> So now I really want to knit such items and have came across the knitting patterns which are just what I was looking for.
> However, and I know some of you will relate to this, the feedback from a few people I have mentioned this to is that it is really rather morbid.
> But the way I look at it, is this really any different from donating knitted hats, scarves and mitts to the homeless?
> ...


I haven't finished reading the first page of entries, and my eyes are already tearing up, so I probably can't continue reading.

This is a charity project that I've read a little about, and one of the suggestions that I came across was to knit a third bootie -- one for the parents to keep as a treasure. Another writer reminded everyone that it isn't just tiny preemies who die too soon, so not just eensy weensy items are needed.


----------



## karonwurst (Nov 15, 2012)

God bless you in your self appointed service. I see nothing wrong with what you are doing for the greving parents of these little ones.
If people would only try to walk in the other guys shoes for a while they might be supprised to see how much your gift means.
Karon


----------



## Micromegas (May 22, 2012)

Definitely such babies should be buried wearing _something. Especially something nice made with love. Such deaths are too often treated by those outside the family like they don't count. Well, those poor babies matter as much as full-term, healthy babies!_


----------



## Chalkymac (Sep 13, 2012)

I knit them for Angel Babies in the UK and in my humble opinion it is the parents of the Angel Babies you listen to not other people who have never been in the position of losing a child....... You had your answer from the nurse you spoke to....... Do what you think is right in your heart..............


----------



## juerobinson433 (Mar 21, 2011)

I think it is a great idea when it happen to me there was nothing like that around


----------



## 42Margaret (Jan 31, 2012)

I do similar garments for a charity in the UK called Upon Butterfly Wings. Website www.uponbutterflywings.org or find on facebook. Lots of suitable patterns also on their links.


----------



## MaryCarter (Oct 17, 2011)

Zara said:


> I donate knitted baby and preemie baby items to our local childrens and maternity hospital.
> I know a lot of the ladies on KP have made these items.


How many of us went in to labour thinking our babies would not survive?
I delivered three healthy babies, and I can honestly say that for not one of their births did I ever think to take a buriel gown to the hospital with me. 
I am sure that there will be some-one, somewhere on EBay selling them, but like I said it would be the last thing on my shopping list when shopping for newborn baby clothes. It is why people put off making wills, we don't want to think about death....please do it.


----------



## Ciyona (Jan 17, 2011)

Zara, you are a blessed angel to do this for a family in pain. Many only think of the living and not of those that don't have the chance to be in this world and grow. For whatever reason they are taken so young is not for us to know. But, their parents are still here and they need to have some comfort in their loss. It is people like you that they are thankful for to be sure that their little ones have that special gift to go on their spiritually journey.


----------



## chris h (Aug 13, 2011)

Good on you, i think it is a really thoughtful thing to do, i wished there had been someone like you around years ago, i had thought about something like that here, my nephews little girl passed away when she was 15 months, i had knitted a shawl for her when she was born a premmy and she was buried with it.


----------



## cainchar (Dec 14, 2012)

My goodness- how could anyone suggest what you are doing isn't a kind and loving thing! I'm wondering where you and others have found patterns for these "Angel Pouches?" Or other patterns you use for this purpose. I would like to make some for our local hospital. Sadly, not all babies from PEI ever make it to the IWK. I was also thinking of smocking some white flannel gowns, perhaps with tiny seed beads in white/pink or blue. Thoughts?


----------



## dotcarp2000 (Sep 5, 2011)

Zara said:


> I donate knitted baby and preemie baby items to our local childrens and maternity hospital. They have a very well known NICU which serves the whole Maritime region in Canada. I was in touch with the director who coordinates the Angel Stitches program and I inquired if they use burial gowns and pouches. Her answer was "Yes. They are so comforting for the grieving parents who may not have something to wrap the sweet babes in on their final journey."
> So now I really want to knit such items and have came across the knitting patterns which are just what I was looking for.
> However, and I know some of you will relate to this, the feedback from a few people I have mentioned this to is that it is really rather morbid.
> But the way I look at it, is this really any different from donating knitted hats, scarves and mitts to the homeless?
> ...


Please do not let other's opinions judge what you want to do. People have the right to their opinions but what you are doing is such a wonderful thing.
I save all funeral cards and put them in a scrap book and every year at spring housecleaning, I look at those and remember the people who were related to me or just friends. Some folks think its morbid that I do that but I dont care what they think. This has a purpose for me.


----------



## MsPolly (Sep 17, 2011)

I think your idea is a grand idea and it sounds like something that could be very comforting to a grieving family. It's such a good idea I would like to know what the pattern is and where I can find it.

Great idea! Thanks.


----------



## SANDRA919 (Jun 11, 2012)

ZARA, Hello, Im sandra DE...I thought of this several years ago,,did not run with .it........do what ZARA wants to do....there is a need for it...get the info you need and do your THANG GIRL, [email protected]


----------



## Juleen (Jun 3, 2011)

Since I live close to Luke Air Force Base, I'm wondering if you have seen any of the green camo colored yarn?


----------



## french braid (Aug 19, 2012)

Greetings Zara,

My young next door neighbour's first baby died minutes from being delivered. On her return from the hospital she came to my door and ask if I would follow her to her home as she had something to show me. It was a precious little box filled with tiny clothes that someone had sewed & knitted & a picture of her little guy. The hospital had offered her a burial little gown but she declined as her mother had gone to buy one. Like so many, I first felt that it was a bit morbid when she showed me those things. However, when I saw how bless she & her family felt blessed by knowing that strangers were joining them in their grief, I had a change of heart.
Little did I know that my my daughter would lose a little boy of 6 months gestation. The box brought them some grief but helped them cope with the pain. She placed it in the back of a shelf in their bedroom & told me that later on they would take it out but they could not throw it out as it seem to be the memory of their little boy. Shortly later, there I saw a picture of two little feet & hands framed by a beautiful design my daughter in law had made for them. Nolan still sits in the living room fireplace mantle. Believe it or not it has brought me some comfort & the entire family. We will not forget this little one.

Please if your heart is to knit little gowns, do knit them. They do bless those who have had a tremendous loss. We can loose money even our home but to loss a child is the ultimate of pain.
Be blessed in whatever you decide.

french braid, Ottawa, On


----------



## JTM (Nov 18, 2012)

Knitting a burial gown is a gift of love to a precious baby and their parents. God bless you.


----------



## Joan Surber (May 22, 2012)

God has chosen YOU to do this and send the idea to YOU.. Do as your heart tells you to do. What a wonderful thing to remember your baby was in a nice warm "bunting" on its final journey.


----------



## mthrift (Jan 2, 2012)

It is about honor and respect and and love and doing the best possible for the very tiny lost one in the parents life. If they have something lovely to remember they were able to give to their child... when everything else is out of their control.... just something hand made with love and beauty given in love..... What could be better? What more could you ever do to matter so much to honor the depth of this passage?


----------



## Johnni (Jul 8, 2012)

I had made two of these gowns and had no where to send them. Just a few weeks ago a baby girl was born weighing 13 ozs. I sent them both to her. She is doing really well. She now weighs nearly 3 lbs. I am sorry to say I have lost the patterns. Does anyone have these patterns? 
By the way, these little burial gowns became take me home mommy gowns! I feel really good about this. I never told the mommy what the gowns were made for, no need to.


----------



## SuperK (Jun 4, 2012)

I am so proud of you for sharing your knitting talents in providing these gowns and pouches. I never thought about these items until a former coworker and her husband lost a set of twins at the beginning of 2011 and her local hospital provided these items for the twins' burial. I wish I had the time to make and donate knitted items the same as you.


----------



## DelV (Dec 6, 2011)

Zara, I have started knitting for two charities that help with clothes for preemies and all the way up to full term babies, this includes burial clothes. My granddaughter now 12 and very healthy was a preemie and I spent many hours in the NICU . I get great satisfaction from knowing I can do something to help those that maybe not so fortunate. You are doing a good thing. This is the first post I have responded too but this is close to my heart,
Del


----------



## Ms Doolittle (Nov 19, 2012)

Thank you Zara, straight from my heart!
I know that I would have appreciated your kindness. My little angel lived for only 7 days, 30 years ago. Her time on earth was so short, and every kindness that some thoughtful person bestowed on us, added to my very precious memory of her. (I am also a nurse.) 

Wow the responses are already up to page 22!


----------



## knitminnie (Jan 29, 2011)

zara, anything that you do with love in your heart can never be wrong. Parents go to the hospital with a plan to bring home a wonderful bundle of joy, not be confronted with such grief. My sister had this misfortune with her first born and then her second born. It is so heart wrenching. You cannot take away the pain, but the parents will always feel the warmth of your caring and love. May God bless you.


----------



## 2mchyrn (Jun 17, 2012)

I ran into this problem with our church knitting group when I suggested that we make burial blankets for deceased babies at the local hospital. Needless to say, I was shocked. I pursued the project on my own and found that the local hospital at the time was not interested but San Joaquin County hospital was very interested for all deceased babies. So part of my New Year Knitting projects will be such blankets made on my knitting machines. 
Now, I was warned about using certain colors e.g., purple means happiness in the Hispanic culture. I would appreciate any information about what colors NOT to use for this project. I do have a problem with the knitted sacks -- I feel it is like stuffing a baby in a sack. Of course, this is just my quirk.
Joann


----------



## Roe (Feb 10, 2011)

I personally think that the grieving parents would truly love and appreciate a beautiful burial gown. Unfortunately there is going to always be a need. Bless you and others for providing this.


----------



## JudieG (Jul 8, 2011)

I believe it is a beautiful thought. Having buried a son, trust me, their are no words that will comfort these parents, but the thought that a stranger is so considerate will linger on.


----------



## nnyl (Oct 3, 2012)

Zara, a fellow Canadian, I am fully with you, I have been knitting shrouds for stillborns for years for the hospitals in Toronto. Keep up the good work, not all people can do them. I have friends that tried to knit them and cried so hard they gave them to me to finish. God Bless You.. Lynn


----------



## Dawn C. (Mar 14, 2011)

Lots of replies only 1 dissenter, you have got your answer dear kind Zara. Knit on with love as you should follow your heart. I doubt you would ever have parents in this sad situation decline your gift. Dawn C.


----------



## 2mchyrn (Jun 17, 2012)

:thumbup: :thumbup:


----------



## Linda (Jan 16, 2011)

I think it is a wonderful, thoughtful thing to do. Don't worry about what other people think. It's the people who get your precious gift that matters. I can't imagine what they are going through at that time and what a relief it must be to recieve a gift like that. I would consider you an angel.


----------



## KnitPicker (Jan 19, 2011)

I know you've had so many supportive replies. May I add to them? You are doing what so few do to help grieving parents. A wise person once said that there is nothing worse than outliving your children, and that is so true. Not having the money or any other thing (including heavy hearts and tortured minds) to keep you from burying your angel child in a beautiful outfit, doubles the grief. To know someone cared enough about your loss and grief to take time and love to create something so beautiful just for your child lifts the burden of grief from complete hopeless heartbreak to an emotion that can be handled. Many parents go into counseling because of this in their lives. Many others break up their marriages or stop seeing counselors and live in stony cold silence while they grieve.

A beautiful gift, the last thing the parents see their child in before it's buried, relieves so much heavy burden from their hearts. The memory that remains is one of two: A baby's cold bare body wrapped in something leftover, or a child wrapped in a beautiful handmade garment that displays the love of the parents as they lay their sweet child to rest. That memory will stay with them the rest of their lives and can help make the difference of whether a couple will be able to handle their grief or not.

Please, continue in your quest to provide these beautiful burial clothes for the parents. They have enough to think about and remember about that day. Give them a beautiful picture to take with them forever in their hearts.


----------



## trisha 54 (Feb 24, 2012)

I think it is a wonderful thing to do...what better than to bury your precious baby in something made from love and caring


----------



## LYTHAMSTANNES (Feb 8, 2011)

My daughter died at 5 days old on Christmas eve 32 years ago, I didn't find out until later after I had held her when she died that they took away the pretty receiving blanket and wrapped her in a disposable paper blanket for the funeral home. It upset me so bad, because I had blankets and clothes at home, but nobody told me this was going to happen. There is a website with all sizes for babies on it, all the way down to one pound premies. If it makes one parent happy, that's a blessing.


----------



## Cinny60 (Nov 16, 2012)

Go For it. I think most people who think its morbid havent gone though losing a newborn or small infant. Mu knitting group made a few but stopped doing it because there were a couple of ladies that couldnt deal with it due to the fact they either lost one or a grandchild. Now we are making things for an orginazation called Tiny porpouse. They made memory boxes for preemies. I love this idea as when i lost a set of twins yeans ago they didnt have anything like that and I have nothing for a keep sake. I agree with those that say go with your heart. If you want to do this PLEASE do.


----------



## julie windham (Feb 21, 2011)

Having had a 28-week baby many years ago who only survived for a few hours, I cannot bring myself to work on projects like this. However, I am in awe of those of you who do this. I buried my son in his going-home outfit, but someone who is not prepared (how many of us are?) these outfits would be a Godsend. Remember, no love is ever wasted.


----------



## chi ladyknitter (Nov 20, 2012)

You are a special gift from God you just may be doing his will, not the will of the people. Good for you do what feels right, and you can't go wrong. Your a kind sensitive caring person


----------



## Susabella (Apr 9, 2011)

You have no reason to justify this. Not everyone can do this, but like hats for the homeless, some need to do it and the one who feels strongly pulled to any charitable endeavor should do what they feel they are called to. I think this is wonderful of you. I am a nurse who worked in the OBS. Dept for almost 40 years and I KNOW how great a need there is for this.


----------



## loveseat (Jun 9, 2012)

Bless you for your work, please follow your heart and please continue to do your kind work.
I seen patterns for the knitted garments but just didn't know if I could do them, guess I was not thinking about
how it could help the parents who lost a Baby. I lost a
Daughter but she was 40 years old. She was sick alot
and always had her Linus in the Hospital. Iam knitting
Blankets for Project Linus in her Memory, knowing how it
helped her cope. Hope I can give some comfort to a very
sick Child. Happy 2013 Loveseat from Michigan


----------



## Cabrini (Aug 19, 2011)

I read KP daily and think there are the most talented,kind and friendly,members here. With this entry to KP it really touched my heart. I am a teacher of needlework and have had a charity group for the past 15 years. With all that said I would like to tell all that burial items are so necessary and appreciated by parents and family. Sometimes some of my members make very small white blankets to send. Whatever your talent follow it. At least you will know I care.


----------



## Tofino5 (Jul 7, 2012)

Zara, Bless you for doing these! Reaching out to a grieving family with compassion and love is how we are suppose to treat each other. Ignore anyone who thinks it's morbid - maybe they haven't thought it through, or are just more self-centered. What you are doing is a beautiful thing. I make prayer shawls, but what you are doing takes a special calling. Bless you!


----------



## Stink (Jun 20, 2011)

Hi Zara, Well yes, death is morbid but that doesn't mean that comfort should be denied to people in mourning. Got for it and do what you want to do. I have knitted hundreds of baby items for charities and many of them were for the Aids babies who we were told were buried in the ground 'wrapped in newspaper'. A few hours knitting to make something for an innocent child whose life was not to be - how can that be morbid - we do it because we care.


----------



## ginger c (Apr 8, 2012)

I love this letter, you are a very thoughtful lady keep up the good work. :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:


----------



## kneonknitter (Feb 10, 2011)

jberg said:


> Again, for those of you looking for patterns for this if you go to the Newborns in Need official website there are many to choose from along with guidelines for making the items. You ladies are all a blessing! Happy Needling. jberg


I do not see any burial gown knitting pattern for a full term baby, only for a preemie. Can this particular gown pattern be adjusted to fit a newborn? Phoenix Arizona doesn't have a chapter, but, I know of a local hospital that accepts all types of clothing items for the maternity unit & I would be interested in knitting for them. Any body out there have a pattern for a full term baby or should I just use a bunting pattern I find on the internet?


----------



## LCGIRL (Mar 9, 2011)

Zara

Unfortunately in this world people are very judgmental and overly critical without any thoughts to the person they are headed at. God has blessed you with a wonderful hobby and it so pleases you to provide for needy families that have just had the greatest loss of their life, then, my friend, do what you heart tells you to do. It is not important what anyone else thinks, these burial gowns, etc. are coming from your heart and hard work. You area blessed so therefore go forth and bless those that need it.

God bless you for your giving spirit.
Linda


----------



## canadagal (Dec 6, 2011)

I think this is a great idea, and if there is a need, and you are willing to do this, then you should follow your heart. God Bless you for doing this, parents are grieving. Go for it. Judy


----------



## krankymax (Mar 5, 2012)

Zara said:


> I donate knitted baby and preemie baby items to our local childrens and maternity hospital. They have a very well known NICU which serves the whole Maritime region in Canada. I was in touch with the director who coordinates the Angel Stitches program and I inquired if they use burial gowns and pouches. Her answer was "Yes. They are so comforting for the grieving parents who may not have something to wrap the sweet babes in on their final journey."
> So now I really want to knit such items and have came across the knitting patterns which are just what I was looking for.
> However, and I know some of you will relate to this, the feedback from a few people I have mentioned this to is that it is really rather morbid.
> But the way I look at it, is this really any different from donating knitted hats, scarves and mitts to the homeless?
> ...


I feel you should knit anything you want and to give to whomever you want and no concern to those who think differently. If they feel you should be knitting for other then what you want to do, then they can take it upon themselves to serve those people.


----------



## Dar19Knits (Jul 2, 2011)

Zara ... I work at a funeral home and unfortunately this year we buried three little angels ... One stillborn, one from SIDS, and a one-year old sweetheart with leukemia. These families would have loved a gown made with love to wrap their children in. Perhaps you could take one or two directly to the funeral home so they could offer it to a grieving parent (at no cost of course). I know this is something I plan on doing at work this year. I'm a relatively new (slow) knitter, but you have inspired me to donate to these families. Thank you for your compassion and God bless!


----------



## mthrift (Jan 2, 2012)

The pain is the same, the loss, and has to be endured, but feeling it on a "cushion" of thoughtfulness, love and support, is far better than on "emptiness", and no support.


----------



## snappy25 (Jun 7, 2011)

I always feel that if something like that, that you feel you need to do comes to you then, you should follow your gut feeling and follow through. 

Listen to your premonitions.


----------



## sassiladyann (Jun 28, 2012)

I helped my best friend deliver her still born son. She went in for a regular scheduled ultrasound and ended up witnessing his death during the ultrasound, there was nothing they could do, at 38 weeks gestation. The Doctors had her wait a week before delivering, not sure why. It was a long day knowing that we were never going to hear that first cry. He was swaddled up and passed around so we could say goodbye. Then I went on to help dad with funeral arrangements. It would have made my friend feel so much better to know that he was laid to rest in something made with love. Bless you.


----------



## rutledge54 (Apr 7, 2011)

As a social worker, I can say that you never know how a family will react to a baby's death. Any amount of kindness afforded people who are grieving is usually met with appreciation. Some of the other comments are right on; it lets people know that they are part of a larger community and not invisible.


----------



## LibertyLass (Dec 18, 2012)

Zara, please continue this project. I have been making burial gowns for about 2 years now and they are really appreciated. Think of your gowns as wrapping a loved child in love because the gown is made purely out of love.


----------



## Seoulborn (Feb 3, 2011)

I know I'm probably in a group of many that wish to encourage you to do this for families that will lose or may lose their little ones before they ever have a chance to live. I recently experienced such a loss in my family and I was blessed with the job of making our little Elijah his warm little outfit to carry him to heaven. If I had not done this all he would have had was a huge blanket provided by the hospital. The hospital even asked me to make more when I can because they have such a need for these items. You will be an angel to every family in need.


----------



## imaknuttyknitter (Feb 23, 2011)

You are the angel. Go with your heart and don't worry what other people think. You are a blessing for the grieving parents.


----------



## mamad1pet (May 23, 2012)

Grandma Jan said:


> Zara, you are such a kind loving person. Anyone who has ever known someone who didn't get to bring their baby home because it didn't live understands what an incredible gift something beautiful to wrap their sweet angel baby in to say goodbye really is. They are in fact, dressing their child (for the only time) for it's funeral. I can only imagine how comforting it would be to be able to wrap that tiny baby in something other than a hospital towel. Grieving parents have a real need and I can only imagine the comfort your kind gifts can offer.
> 
> Follow your heart and do what you are compelled to do. There are many many different needs on this planet we share. You've chosen one. Don't let anyone make you question your decision or convince you that it's not the right one. For you it's the right one.
> 
> Well, actually, you might want to answer them by asking exactly what charity it is that they are contributing to. I'm betting at least 99% would have no answer. Ha!


I have also been working with a group that provides for infants and premees through several local hospitals and they have a large need for early stage pregnacy losses. Your thoughts, love and talent will be greatly appriciated. Do what your heart tells you to do and I agree with Grandma Jan on what to say to those who question your gracious giving.


----------



## Lee Anne (May 3, 2011)

I lost a baby at birth, not a preemie, but a doctor's error. I made sure she was dressed warm, for my piece of mind. Wrapped in a plain white hospital blanket is just not enough! It is for the living not the dead that we do these things. Go ahead, knit away, make someone's grief a little easier, knowing their little one is dressed warm for their journey back home. It has been 27 years now and it still brings tears to my eyes and pulls at my heart, but I know she was treated more humane by being dressed in a sleeper and cuddled in a hand knitted shawl made by my mother and we put a little gold cross necklace on her with love mom and dad engraved on it. Maybe they should call them something else other than burial gowns. Could be just the name that turns people off. There are more needed than we really are aware of or want to think about.


----------



## Janci (Dec 22, 2012)

Grandma Jan said:


> Zara, you are such a kind loving person. Anyone who has ever known someone who didn't get to bring their baby home because it didn't live understands what an incredible gift something beautiful to wrap their sweet angel baby in to say goodbye really is. They are in fact, dressing their child (for the only time) for it's funeral. I can only imagine how comforting it would be to be able to wrap that tiny baby in something other than a hospital towel. Grieving parents have a real need and I can only imagine the comfort your kind gifts can offer.
> 
> Follow your heart and do what you are compelled to do. There are many many different needs on this planet we share. You've chosen one. Don't let anyone make you question your decision or convince you that it's not the right one. For you it's the right one.
> 
> Well, actually, you might want to answer them by asking exactly what charity it is that they are contributing to. I'm betting at least 99% would have no answer. Ha!


What a wonderfully compassionate thing for you to do! While the departed baby may never know what it was that covered his or her little body as he/she was laid to rest, it is the grieving parents and loved ones who will receive the warmth of your loving gesture. I can't fathom losing one of my own and I would imagine that none of us can really know until something of the sort would happen to us. GOD FORBID that any of us ever have to have that experience! God Bless you for your caring heart!


----------



## greatgran21 (Aug 21, 2012)

Zara you are doing a wonderful thing for theses grieving parents it must be a comfort to them knowing someone cares.I have been knitting for many years now for our hospital's neonatal wards,have made hundreds of beanies, mittens and booties, but the thing most needed is vests, the staff say they cannot get enough of them as they keep disappearing when babies go home, I have never asked about Burial gowns, but I think I will continue doing as I am as they are small items and easy to do with my arthritic hands but I think you and anyone else that knit the garments you do are very caring people and need lots of love.


----------



## djones5252 (May 6, 2011)

Bless you for your kind and compassionate heart. Go with your heart.


----------



## kneonknitter (Feb 10, 2011)

greatgran21 said:


> Zara you are doing a wonderful thing for theses grieving parents it must be a comfort to them knowing someone cares.I have been knitting for many years now for our hospital's neonatal wards,have made hundreds of beanies, mittens and booties, but the thing most needed is vests, the staff say they cannot get enough of them as they keep disappearing when babies go home, I have never asked about Burial gowns, but I think I will continue doing as I am as they are small items and easy to do with my arthritic hands but I think you and anyone else that knit the garments you do are very caring people and need lots of love.


Can you share your vest pattern?


----------



## kwharrod (Jul 24, 2012)

Zara,
You are being a blessing to the bereaved parents! Your care and compassion will mean a lot to the parents. Go with your heart and don't worry about what anyone thinks. This is a very painful time for all involved and your donation may help lift some of that pain.


----------



## ChrisCh (Dec 31, 2012)

You are making these gowns for the baby, and more importantly, the family. If you are giving people who have lost a child some comfort, why would anyone have a problem with that? It's your time and money involved. Do what you want with that. It's no one's business what charity work you choose to do. And they should have no say in where your efforts should be directed. Thanks for all you are doing.


----------



## alwilda (Apr 14, 2011)

Are there crochet patterns for preemies and for burial gowns? And what of yarn is used? And also what kind of clothes for preemies?


----------



## Jeanie L (Sep 27, 2011)

What a wonderful gift you are giving to the parents..Bless you...


----------



## Green Frog (Apr 27, 2011)

Go with your heart. I lost a baby many years ago and although my baby was full-term (and therefore I had his going home clothes) it made me realise just how precious something like this is. A lady recently donated the most exquisite layette to our knitting group, on the express understanding that it was to be given to one of the blessed little ones that just didn't 'make it'. I know there were some in the group who felt it was a waste, but on the whole most of us understood just what a wonderful gift this was for those who were grieving the loss of their long awaited baby. Don't let the "practical" ones in our society turn you away from giving such a wonderful gift to those who really are in need.


----------



## Weaveknit (May 7, 2012)

Why not? It seems to me that it would mean a lot to at least two people, who would be happy receive something for a child who would not be coming home with them. Surely it must be the saddest time of their lives.


----------



## ute4kp (Nov 6, 2012)

HandyFamily said:


> Well... If this is what you want to do, this is probably what you should do.
> 
> But... There are probably a lot of living babies in need of warm clothing - babies with parents who can't really provide all a new baby needs... or parents who, for various reasons, just wouldn't spend much on their babies... sad to think there are people like this, but yes, they do exist - and ... well...


So you would put them in a grave naked?


----------



## dotb in mo (Dec 10, 2011)

I think you should do what your heart tells you. 
I am a tole& decorative painter, and belong to the Decorative Painting Society. Nationally, one of our programs is to paint Memory Boxes for hospitals to put the little gowns, wraps etc. that they usually send home with parents who have lost a baby to keep things in. Often decorated with baby animals, roses, or other appropriate things, they are usually round, square or oval paper mache boxes. Usual size is usually around 8-10" in diameter and about3-5" high. (but they do vary) There is also usually a verse tucked inside. We get many thank you cards at local chapters, some people send to National in Wichita . There might be people who do not want them, but we do not ever hear that.
We frequently get requests from hospitals here and all over for more boxes. 

It is heartbreaking to know how many are donated, and we never have enough. I never knew we lost so many babies in America until I started painting about 20 years ago.

If any of you paint and are interested, go to www.SocietyofdcorativePainters.com and click on Memory Boxes.
I you have a local chapter in your area, they would welcome you with open arms.

Some of our painters also paint shoe boxes for children in the hospital to keep things in; they are called Treasure Boxes, and go home with the child, or sadly, if the child does not come home, with the parents.


----------



## Janci (Dec 22, 2012)

dotb in mo said:


> I think you should do what your heart tells you.
> I am a tole& decorative painter, and belong to the Decorative Painting Society. Nationally, one of our prgorams is to paint Memory Boxes for hospitals to put the little gowns, wraps etc. that they usually send home with parents who have lost a baby o keep things in. Often decorated with baby animals, roses, or other appropriate things, they are usually round, square or oval paper mache boxes. There is also usually a verse tucked inside. We get many thank you cards at local chapters, some people send to National in Wichita . There might be people who do not want them, but we do not ever hear that.
> 
> We frequently get requests from hospitals here and all over for more boxes.
> ...


It does my heart good to hear these things..that there are so many people who give of themselves to those who are having such grief in their lives. God bless you all.


----------



## NipomoNan (May 20, 2012)

"There, but for the Grace of God, go I". That old cliche came to me, remembering our family's experience last April. Our granddaughter, age 24, expecting for the first time, and was told by her Dr. At 23weeks, that she was going to lose the pregnancy and it was too early for the baby to survive. When I received the call from my daughter, I literally ran to my sewing machine to put together a baby blanket from some pastel quilted nylon I had in my stash. With just a few minutes to spare before the post office closed for the day I embroidered a silk ribbon rose in one corner. When it was on its way by overnight mail, I prayed it would get there in time for our DGD to wrap and hold her baby, however briefly. This was a very emotional time for us, when it seemed that time was in fast-forward. No time to consider options, make thoughtful decisions, etc. So, if there had not been family support for GD, she would have needed the caring help of strangers for comfort at a time when she could not do for herself, despite support by the baby's young father who,himself, was doing his best to do what he was unprepared to do. Thank you, thank you Zara for making it possible for the hospital staff to be there to provide this very special care. Fortunately, our blessed little one survived and though she spent 5 mos in NICU and weathered many crisies, she is doing well at present. I will join you in helping a hospital serve these grieving parents.


----------



## Janci (Dec 22, 2012)

NipomoNan said:


> "There, but for the Grace of God, go I". That old cliche came to me, remembering our family's experience last April. Our granddaughter, age 24, expecting for the first time, and was told by her Dr. At 23weeks, that she was going to lose the pregnancy and it was too early for the baby to survive. When I received the call from my daughter, I literally ran to my sewing machine to put together a baby blanket from some pastel quilted nylon I had in my stash. With just a few minutes to spare before the post office closed for the day I embroidered a silk ribbon rose in one corner. When it was on its way by overnight mail, I prayed it would get there in time for our DGD to wrap and hold her baby, however briefly. This was a very emotional time for us, when it seemed that time was in fast-forward. No time to consider options, make thoughtful decisions, etc. So, if there had not been family support for GD, she would have needed the caring help of strangers for comfort at a time when she could not do for herself, despite support by the baby's young father who,himself, was doing his best to do what he was unprepared to do. Thank you, thank you Zara for making it possible for the hospital staff to be there to provide this very special care. Fortunately, our blessed little one survived and though she spent 5 mos in NICU and weathered many crisies, she is doing well at present. I will join you in helping a hospital serve these grieving parents.


Thank God that your little one is still with all of you!


----------



## knitwitgalaxy (Jul 27, 2012)

redquilter said:


> I, personally, cannot make such items. It upsets me too much. I make things for babies that survive. That being said, there is a special place in heaven (or wherever) for people like you. There is a need for these things and I can only imagine the comfort they bring to a grieving family. Bless you and others like you. Go with your heart and do what you can to help those in need. Need comes in all forms.


A friend does a great deal of work for one of our big maternity hospitals & asked me to knit blankets in 12",18" & 24" sizes I made quite a few in each size (I knitted them diagonaly) but was surprised at the need for 12 inch it was so tiny - when I asked my friend she told me they were for burial - this broke my heart & I have been unable to do them since, I do not find it morbid but too sad for me to cope with. I am 65 & a greatgrandmother so should not have been so nieve!!! God bless those who do this work. The comment that this is the only time the parents dress their presious baby really is so sad, perhaps I will gain the strength to do some more , now that this viewpoint has been made.


----------



## ernai (Apr 7, 2011)

Rap said:


> Your knitting expresses your empathy to those parents who have suffered the unimaginable loss of a child. I admire your courage to do this. Do you have patterns for the buriel gowns and pouches that you can share?


If you PM me your email address I can send you some patterns and tips for making.

Cheers
Irene (Ernai)


----------



## ernai (Apr 7, 2011)

mzmom1 said:


> lfedor said:
> 
> 
> > I crochet burial pouches for a local hospital. I do it because I lost a premie. To me it isn't morbid at all. 34 years ago I wrapped my 2 day old son in a blanket to bury him. I am very happy to do this for grieving parents.
> ...


It can be like a cocoon, or a square with a triangle attached to it so they baby is put in and wrapped. If you google 'burial pouch' for images you will see other designs - knitted, crocheted, sewn or loomed.


----------



## ernai (Apr 7, 2011)

MRSCW said:


> Where do you get the pattern from? i have just finished work and find time on my hands and would like to do something similar to you. I have too lost a grandchild and have a lot of love to give.


If you PM me your email address I can send you some patterns and tips for making.

Cheers
Irene (Ernai)


----------



## ernai (Apr 7, 2011)

Cnleb said:


> What a lovely thing to do! I think that whenever there's a need we come across and can fill it, go for it. I've been blessed in my life not to experience losing an infant so I'm not well versed on the subject, what is a pouch?


Please see my explanation on page 25

Cheers
Irene (Ernai)


----------



## ernai (Apr 7, 2011)

Rap said:


> Your knitting expresses your empathy to those parents who have suffered the unimaginable loss of a child. I admire your courage to do this. Do you have patterns for the buriel gowns and pouches that you can share?


If you PM me your email address I can send you some patterns and tips for making.

Cheers
Irene (Ernai)


----------



## ernai (Apr 7, 2011)

Redhatchris said:


> Zara said:
> 
> 
> > I donate knitted baby and preemie baby items to our local childrens and maternity hospital. They have a very well known NICU which serves the whole Maritime region in Canada. I was in touch with the director who coordinates the Angel Stitches program and I inquired if they use burial gowns and pouches. Her answer was "Yes. They are so comforting for the grieving parents who may not have something to wrap the sweet babes in on their final journey."
> ...


Please see my explanation on page 25

Cheers
Irene (Ernai)


----------



## ernai (Apr 7, 2011)

anjaa said:


> This is not only a brilliant idea but it is also something I would love to do too
> 
> I was picturing really lovely clothes especially as they will form part of their memories
> 
> ...


If you PM me your email address I can send you some patterns and tips for making.

Cheers
Irene (Ernai)


----------



## sunflower19 (Sep 8, 2012)

Don't pay attention to what others say - this is a wonderful thing to do and is much appreciated. We all have to choose - you can't support every need so do the one which speaks to you. Happy New Year.


----------



## ernai (Apr 7, 2011)

nanasharon said:


> My nephew had his son stillborn just 3 months ago. It breaks your heart. Bless you for thinking of people who have lost a child, they may not have something for the baby and you are willing to fill that need. Can you suggest some patterns for this? I have never heard of angel pouches.


If you PM me your email address I can send you some patterns and tips for making.

Cheers
Irene (Ernai)


----------



## ernai (Apr 7, 2011)

btypolice said:


> would you mind sharing the pattern that you use? I may want to do this too...thank you


If you PM me your email address I can send you some patterns and tips for making.

Cheers
Irene (Ernai)


----------



## ernai (Apr 7, 2011)

elsie lacey said:


> Zara, can you post the directions for the gowns you described? THanks


If you PM me your email address I can send you some patterns and tips for making.

Cheers
Irene (Ernai)


----------



## ernai (Apr 7, 2011)

mamaw5 said:


> Bless you dear! As one who lost a new born, I know how much these things mean. Our only baby girl passed less than an hour after birth. She was just wrapped in a blanket, they wrapped her carefully so we could only see her sweet little face. They didn't want me to see her deformities. I didn't have anything to hold our cry into after. My BIL and his wife went to out house and packed up every single baby item and took them away. I know they thought they were helping, sparing me, but I was so angry. It was like she had never existed. She was buried in the outfit she would have come home in. A few days after the funeral my mom have me a box from the funeral home. Inside, along with the paper work and visiter book was a tiny pink footy suit, a matching cap and a little pink flannel blanket. Everything was trimmed in lace and had little rosebuds embroidered on them. Mom told me the funeral director said she had been dressed in them when they picked her up. Of course I cried bucket over them but they where also a comfort. It was a blessing knowing she had left the hospital dressed as I would have dressed her.
> You go right ahead a and make anything you want and take comfort in knowing what a blessing it is.
> I don't know why out has never occurred to me to do so myself. I have made premie hats and booties, and a tiny sweater set for my cousins tiny, tiny baby that only lived ten days.
> Could you share the patterns, or links that you have found.
> ...


If you PM me your email address I can send you some patterns and tips for making.

Cheers
Irene (Ernai)


----------



## ernai (Apr 7, 2011)

Cindy N. said:


> I am new to this Forum and was taken by the question of Burial Gowns. I am in Bereavement Ministry in my Church and am a retired LPN as well. I knit and crochet. This endeavor sounds like a beautiful way to help comfort grieving parents. I would like to add this to my list of things I do but would like to have your pattern. I have never heard of such a pattern. Are there more than one?
> 
> Cindy N.


If you PM me your email address I can send you some patterns and tips for making.

Cheers
Irene (Ernai)


----------



## ernai (Apr 7, 2011)

2mchyrn said:


> I ran into this problem with our church knitting group when I suggested that we make burial blankets for deceased babies at the local hospital. Needless to say, I was shocked. I pursued the project on my own and found that the local hospital at the time was not interested but San Joaquin County hospital was very interested for all deceased babies. So part of my New Year Knitting projects will be such blankets made on my knitting machines.
> Now, I was warned about using certain colors e.g., purple means happiness in the Hispanic culture. I would appreciate any information about what colors NOT to use for this project. I do have a problem with the knitted sacks -- I feel it is like stuffing a baby in a sack. Of course, this is just my quirk.
> Joann


If you PM me your email address I can send you some tips for making.

Cheers
Irene (Ernai)


----------



## ernai (Apr 7, 2011)

kneonknitter said:


> jberg said:
> 
> 
> > Again, for those of you looking for patterns for this if you go to the Newborns in Need official website there are many to choose from along with guidelines for making the items. You ladies are all a blessing! Happy Needling. jberg
> ...


Try these sites:

http://www.starlegacyfoundation.org/files/Knitted%20Burial%20Gown%20Booties%20and%20Hat.pdf
Sizes: (Small Preemie, Large Preemie, Full Term)

http://www.knittingpatterncentral.com/directory/baby_burial_clothing.php
7 patterns available  not sure what sizes

Patterns ~ Charity patterns for fullterm and premature babies.
danettesangels.tripod.com/patterns/index.html
29 Jul 2009  Patterns ~ patterns for preemie and fulltern items. ... Bubble Suit Preemie Dress ... Knit Booties and Hat ... Preemie Burial / Fullterm Bunting ...


----------



## ernai (Apr 7, 2011)

Lee Anne said:


> I lost a baby at birth, not a preemie, but a doctor's error. I made sure she was dressed warm, for my piece of mind. Wrapped in a plain white hospital blanket is just not enough! It is for the living not the dead that we do these things. Go ahead, knit away, make someone's grief a little easier, knowing their little one is dressed warm for their journey back home. It has been 27 years now and it still brings tears to my eyes and pulls at my heart, but I know she was treated more humane by being dressed in a sleeper and cuddled in a hand knitted shawl made by my mother and we put a little gold cross necklace on her with love mom and dad engraved on it. Maybe they should call them something else other than burial gowns. Could be just the name that turns people off. There are more needed than we really are aware of or want to think about.


I have been asked to make "bereavement" garments - perhaps not the same connotation as "burial". Each item I make tears at my heart. I lost 5 little angels - don't even know what they were. Just a gut wrenching pain that never goes away entirely. With each item a prayer goes too for the grieving parents and family. Something for them to hold on to. I also make a third bootee or heart or angel as a keepsake for them.

Irene (Ernai)


----------



## ernai (Apr 7, 2011)

kneonknitter said:


> greatgran21 said:
> 
> 
> > Zara you are doing a wonderful thing for theses grieving parents it must be a comfort to them knowing someone cares.I have been knitting for many years now for our hospital's neonatal wards,have made hundreds of beanies, mittens and booties, but the thing most needed is vests, the staff say they cannot get enough of them as they keep disappearing when babies go home, I have never asked about Burial gowns, but I think I will continue doing as I am as they are small items and easy to do with my arthritic hands but I think you and anyone else that knit the garments you do are very caring people and need lots of love.
> ...


If you PM me your email address I can send you some patterns and tips for making.

Cheers
Irene (Ernai)


----------



## ernai (Apr 7, 2011)

alwilda said:


> Are there crochet patterns for preemies and for burial gowns? And what of yarn is used? And also what kind of clothes for preemies?


If you PM me your email address I can send you some patterns and tips for making.

Cheers
Irene (Ernai)


----------



## ernai (Apr 7, 2011)

NipomoNan said:


> "There, but for the Grace of God, go I". That old cliche came to me, remembering our family's experience last April. Our granddaughter, age 24, expecting for the first time, and was told by her Dr. At 23weeks, that she was going to lose the pregnancy and it was too early for the baby to survive. When I received the call from my daughter, I literally ran to my sewing machine to put together a baby blanket from some pastel quilted nylon I had in my stash. With just a few minutes to spare before the post office closed for the day I embroidered a silk ribbon rose in one corner. When it was on its way by overnight mail, I prayed it would get there in time for our DGD to wrap and hold her baby, however briefly. This was a very emotional time for us, when it seemed that time was in fast-forward. No time to consider options, make thoughtful decisions, etc. So, if there had not been family support for GD, she would have needed the caring help of strangers for comfort at a time when she could not do for herself, despite support by the baby's young father who,himself, was doing his best to do what he was unprepared to do. Thank you, thank you Zara for making it possible for the hospital staff to be there to provide this very special care. Fortunately, our blessed little one survived and though she spent 5 mos in NICU and weathered many crisies, she is doing well at present. I will join you in helping a hospital serve these grieving parents.


If you PM me your email address I too can send you some patterns and tips for making.

Thank God all turned out well in the end.

Irene (Ernai)


----------



## Michelle57 (Jul 13, 2011)

Hello I make these in either knitting or crochet and they are always appreciated by parents. Ignore the nasty comments, and think that somewhere out there are parents that can put their little to rest in a garment that has been made with love and care. Keep up the good work. I make items for PreemiesUK a group on Facebook. Shelley does amazing work sending items to all the hospitals. Keep up the good work,


----------



## sheriet (Mar 23, 2011)

I see you have received lots of replies but what is one more? 
as an OB nurse I can tell you that you are doing a wonderful thing. It is a terribly sad time for these families and something as caring as a burial gown and/or pouch is priceless. 
The people who think it is morbid have never experienced the death of a child. They are also the people who will not let the bereaved talk about their experience. (which they desperately need to do. I feel sorry for people who are that uncaring. 
Please continue what you are doing. The people who need it are so thankful and the others can just go jump in the lake (or something worse!)


----------



## JoyceinNC (Oct 28, 2011)

2mchyrn said:


> I ran into this problem with our church knitting group when I suggested that we make burial blankets for deceased babies at the local hospital. Needless to say, I was shocked. I pursued the project on my own and found that the local hospital at the time was not interested but San Joaquin County hospital was very interested for all deceased babies. So part of my New Year Knitting projects will be such blankets made on my knitting machines.
> Now, I was warned about using certain colors e.g., purple means happiness in the Hispanic culture. I would appreciate any information about what colors NOT to use for this project. I do have a problem with the knitted sacks -- I feel it is like stuffing a baby in a sack. Of course, this is just my quirk.
> Joann


The hospitals close to me don't want anything in ivory/ecru, yellow or green because of how these colors look next to deceased babies. I occasionally use pastel lavender just for a break. I've never been asked to use anything other than pastel pink, blue and white. Check with the people you are donating to. If they shrug their shoulders, stick to pastels, avoiding yellow and green unless they are very small amounts in a multi-colored yarn.


----------



## JoyceinNC (Oct 28, 2011)

ute4kp said:


> HandyFamily said:
> 
> 
> > Well... If this is what you want to do, this is probably what you should do.
> ...


In 1992, I received a newsletter/brochure from Nancy's Notions (Nancy Zieman) that included a short article, "An Angel's Aching Need". That was the first I had heard of deceased babies being sent for burial (mostly cremation now) in paper bags. Broke my heart. It took many years before I found a group close to me that had patterns and encouragement for making these little clothes. On their web site, newbornsinneed.org, you can click on the volunteer tab and then go to pattern central. There are various patterns available for free, knit, crochet or sewn. It is not a waste of time. Everyone is blessed in one way or another.


----------



## pg006 (Sep 13, 2012)

How can it possibly be wrong to assist another human being in making life or death a little bit more bearable. You have been lead to perform the greatest service to others. Hold your heaad up high and know that you wll be blessed.


----------



## Blue_Carol (May 28, 2012)

galaxycraft said:


> Bless your loving heart!
> Our group had also provided a layette set with each gown for the parents to treasure.
> It doesn't take away the pain and sorrow, but it does help to know that someone cares.
> Anything, no matter how small, that someone can do for the grieving parents, is less that they have to do.
> ...


 :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:


----------



## maysmom (Sep 22, 2011)

Dear Zara,
No, I don't think you are morbid at all. I've made burial outfits, but like one poster has written, I prefer to make knitted garments for surviving infants. I sew burial outfits and little hooded capes, etc. It takes so much less time that I can make many burial garments as opposed to the few that could be knitted or crocheted. I once read how many parents are given their baby in a paper bag, and was so horrified that I sat down and made about six little gowns in one sitting. I give my little gowns and capes to our two local hospitals and to the University of CT NICU.
While I have never experienced a newborn loss, I have had 3 miscarriages, all of which ended in d&c's. I was absolutely horrified that after the first one, the dr gave me the extracted tissues to take to the lab myself. When I recovered from the miscarriage, I let the dr have it with both barrels. The man was indeed clueless, but after that, the office staff made subsequent deliveries. Bless you for giving grieving parents dignity and comfort--

Karen N.


----------



## nanysue (Dec 4, 2012)

could anyone please send me some patterns cant seen 2 find many x


----------



## Mevbb (Sep 5, 2011)

nanysue said:


> could anyone please send me some patterns cant seen 2 find many x


Posted this yesterday.

http://www.lucybug.org/knitangelwrap.html

http://www.bevscountrycottage.com/bereavement-gowns.html


----------



## JoyceinNC (Oct 28, 2011)

nanysue said:


> could anyone please send me some patterns cant seen 2 find many x


This has been discussed many times here on KP. A search would probably get you many links.

I volunteer with Newborns in Need, and their web site has many free patterns, knit, crochet and sewn. They offer bereavement as well as items for the little ones that survive. My local chapter puts together totes with clothes and accessories that are given to the mother when she takes her precious sweetie home. There are other organizations and individuals that post free patterns also. Keep looking!

The previous post with Bevs Country Cottage web link - it is a fabulous resource. I've used it many times.

http://www.newbornsinneed.org/volunteer/pattern-central/


----------



## MartiW (Mar 31, 2011)

I love KP!!!
So many kind and loving people sharing ideas, opinions and patterns!
Now I have links to make more things for "my families"
This is such an amazing topic. If I were allowed to share notes I've received from grateful families who've suffered such a loss, those who don't get it would be moved to tears! (Privacy rules from hospitals and organizations require confidentiality)
PLEASE don't ever doubt the importance of sharing your gifts!
I'm so grateful for all of you and wish everyone a happy healthy and productive new year.


----------



## Lyn Straub (Jul 19, 2012)

Zara-
As a nurse practitioner in obstetrics for many years, I KNOW that grieving parents appreciate the love and caring shown to their child by strangers. The gowns and hats are precious beyond words. Listen to your heart, not other people. You are doing a great thing.
Lyn


----------



## anjaa (Sep 19, 2012)

While looking for contacts for this project I found a group that accepts volunteer's efforts on behalf of the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Units) around Australia

Volunteers simply knit for parents of premature and sick babies - those that survive as well as those that don't - so no need to worry about any "morbid thoughts"

The added benefit of a national distribution is that the garments go where they are most needed

I like getting patterns from the people involved in the collection and distribution as they have a good idea of what is needed

http://www.miraclebabies.org.au/get-involved/knitting-and-sewing/


----------



## Juleen (Jun 3, 2011)

Perhaps they should be called angel gowns?


----------



## Mary Cardiff (Mar 18, 2012)

I knit for the prem baby unit, and even worry about the babys who will wear them,It wonderfull that you can thing of babys who dont make it,It would jusT make me to sad,having lost a baby at 20 weeks,


----------



## Mary Cardiff (Mar 18, 2012)

I knit for the prem baby unit, and even worry about the babys who will wear them,It wonderfull that you can thing of babys who dont make it,It would jusT make me to sad,having lost a baby at 20 weeks,


----------



## Spitze (Jun 27, 2011)

Hi Zara, PLEASE follow your heart. There is nothing morbid about it; however we live in a culture that likes to ignore death. Such a compassionate gift to receive at a time when you cannot imagine yourself going out to find something to wrap your deceased baby in. It shows those parents that they are not forsaken in their grief. Yes, there will always be living babies in need, but that fact is not a valid argument against helping and supporting a family in their immense sorrow. Blessings on your compassionate work!


----------



## pleezed2pleez (Jun 14, 2011)

Ronie, may God continue to bless you in your work. We all will be old someday unless we go first. Who knows how much help we will need. Some things are not pleasent to do but it has to be done.


----------



## sdostman (Jun 9, 2011)

I also make burial gowns for one of our local hospitals and have received the same reaction from people when I am working on them. My response is this is reality - it happens- and if it happen to you or someone you know wouldn't you want to know there was someone out there that cared enough to give your child an item made with love and prayers.


----------



## MICKMAR (Mar 27, 2011)

I think if it feels good to you it is a good thing thank you for doing such a great thing


----------



## bizzielizzie (Dec 9, 2012)

We call these angel pouches in England - sounds nicer don't you think?


----------



## sandraanny (Oct 29, 2012)

i too, find this a worthy opportunity for giving. can someone provide a pattern or two for my immediate edification> i want to start now! sandraanny


----------



## cdanzinger (Sep 1, 2011)

Many years ago when our baby daughter died the last thing prior to her death was first even leaving her, second going shopping for a burial dress. We don't pack our bags when we go to hospital to have our precious babies come into this world with a burial gown. With that being said, after her death all I could think of was I didn't want her just wrapped in a hospital blanket. I know I must of been in shock but while they were performing the autopsy I went somewhere and got her a dress..I don't even remember what it looked like or where I went. My point is, I would of thought it was some miracle for an outfit to clothe my little Katie had been prepared for her. That is why I make these precious outfits for those grieving parents and to edify that little angel.. You just keep on doing what you've been blessed to do and don't worry about what other think...Blessings, Cathy


----------



## Edith M (Aug 10, 2011)

As far as I know that(Saving babies bodys) is no longer done. I don't know what they do for those whose parents can not afford private burial.


laurie4 said:


> edithm omg i am so sorry to hear that they do that i never heard of that before wow my father in law was in a grave like that just a number in the files years ago his mom had no money for a grave site we finally found him last year after 40 yrs of searching it is so painful to think that we cannot go for a visit but that is how it was done after reading these posts i think i will start knitting for these special people


----------



## sandraanny (Oct 29, 2012)

a footnote to my previous note...

on the topic of sending loved ones "on their way"... i m am a a devoted follower of the native american (and many other cultures as well)practice of sending personal things along with them.

a few years back our family lost our 22-year old granddaughter to a vicious hit-and-run driver in a foriegn country where she and a friend were doing their post-college traveling before entering nursing school. 

when my daughter and i were making all of the preparations we discussed, and decided to send her off with a very well-used, full-of-holes baby blanket that she still slept with as a young adult. i had made it for here along with a matching "elephant" sweater i had made as well. we put the sweater on one of her favorite bears and sent her off.

this may be way too much information but i can't begin to tell you how much this gesture helped to keep my daughter and me connected in such a hideous, precarious time. it still is one of the threads that makes it possible to move on, together. blessings to you all who set aside some special time to try to touch and hopefully ease an un'easenable(?) loss... sandraanny -- and thanks for "listening..."


----------



## mthrift (Jan 2, 2012)

My point is:

"I would of thought it was some miracle for an outfit to clothe my little Katie had been prepared for her. 

That is why I make these precious outfits for those grieving parents and to edify that little angel."

I think this is VERY WELL SAID cdangzinger. We often lose sight of the point and the intention, when things are hard. Keeping this intention in mind, knowing we are easing the pain of the living, and really "honoring and respecting" the lost angel". This helps to make the "making: of the garments" easier.... if we deeply address the INTENTION and the PURPOSE for which we are doing it, as we do them. We are bringing and shining a LIGHT where there is present DARKNESS and DEEP PAIN.


----------



## Chrissy (May 3, 2011)

Juleen said:


> Perhaps they should be called angel gowns?


I like Angel Gowns, lets use that? :thumbup:
After all, they are gowns for Angels.


----------



## mthrift (Jan 2, 2012)

to sandraany... This is not too much. The most personal and deepest sharing is the most Universal, and connects us to the humanity of the rest of us! I really appreciate your sharing your personal experience. It is how we learn "how it is for someone else" that enriches our lives, and our experience in trying to be human and put love in the world. This is why this post has been so deeply felt by so many! You have touched our hearts! Thank you.


----------



## Spitze (Jun 27, 2011)

Dear Sandraanny, thank you for sharing such a personal and painful part of your life. It illustrates for me that receiving nourishment when we are in need extends not just to bread. Be well and have a peaceful year 2013.


----------



## Zara (Oct 24, 2011)

Chrissy said:


> Juleen said:
> 
> 
> > Perhaps they should be called angel gowns?
> ...


Me too, that is such an appropriate name to use on our Forum; however, unfortunately pattern listings would still be found listed under burial/bereavement gowns and demise pouches for those who want to start making them.


----------



## SFCMommy (Dec 14, 2011)

Another thing I learned during my term as city clerk, The Law (regardless of what law one refers to) is "equitable,"---it applies to everyone. But The Law is not always fair. This problem makes it very, very difficult to uphold The Law. So, let's turn our attention and talents where we CAN make a different. Provide some comfort to grieving parents.


----------



## jppl46 (Oct 23, 2012)

Zara...I lost my baby at 3months & 9 days, we didn't get to bring him home, he died in the hospital. You walk out of the hospital stunned, sad, overwhelmed & empty. All the time we spent in the hospital was just a memory, our baby was a memory that no one wanted to talk about (only because they didn't know how).
The thought of someone handing us a tiny outfit to dress our baby in would be a wonderful gesture of kindness. Please please don't give up because someone says it's "morbid" it truly isn't..There is love coming from the hands that knit these items, should we choose to keep the outfit or bury the child in it, there is a memory of someone that cared.
Bless you for caring.. sending you a very warm hug 
Bonnie


----------



## tmlester (Apr 8, 2011)

To echo all the sentiments above....what a loving and blessed thing to do. I have printed out several of these patterns myself along with premie hats and blanket patterns that I make and will donate to various NICU units in the area. As a personal note. I am making a Christening blanket for a new grandson due in March and found these patterns while searching for the 'perfect' one to make. I have already donated two blanket and hat sets and plan on making the gowns after I've finished the blanket for my new grand baby. It only seems morbid if you've never lost a child an understand the pain of letting go. To me personally, its a loving, giving thing.


----------



## plw930 (Jan 1, 2013)

My daughter had stillborn twins two years ago. I knitted hats, booties and sewed burial gowns for them. She was so appreciative. This is not morbid, it is a gift of love. Others who knit for the NICU provided beautiful hats and sweaters that each twin was dressed in so she, my son-in-law and grandparents could hold them and say their final good byes. She saved them in the memory boxes that were also provided by the hospital.

Months later I contacted the NICU to start donating sweaters and hats, and told them about the burial gowns I had made. They asked if I would be willing to do that as well, and I started from there.

I will also share that my daughter did not want her precious babies to be buried unclothed and didn't know what to do. That's when I told her I would take care of it for her, and I searched on the web and found the simple pattern for the burial gown, hats and booties. Follow your heart and do this if that is where it leads you. It will take the pressure of having to make a decision at a time when parents are so overwhelmed with grief, that they can barely function. God bless you


----------



## Babsmim (Mar 7, 2011)

Pru said:


> My twopennerth is that you and others might give burial gowns, other people might give preemy clothes, whilst others might give to the homeless. If we all did what we could for others the world would be a much better place and I believe givers and receivers would be much happier. You do what you are comfortable with and leave the responsibility of other unfortunates to other peoples concience.


Well said, Pru, well said.


----------



## Edith M (Aug 10, 2011)

Thank you for the site . I have down loaded it and will start tomorrow.


Mevbb said:


> Trying this again.
> 
> https://dl-web.dropbox.com/get/Public/1344413440321-knit_angel_wrap.pdf?w=ca2b7fdc
> 
> ...


----------



## mthrift (Jan 2, 2012)

During this forum, I have learned that this sort of deep loss happens to people, more than I knew. It takes a lot of oourage to stand with this depth of pain, and do it more than once. This is correct: some can do it, and some can do something else, and it is all wonderful. None of us can do it all. I feel blessed by those that can. Thanks so much for the initial question. It made us all examine an issue, and ourselves, and the depth of sharing that has gone on. What a wonderful way to begin the New Year! Thank You.


----------



## wkyangel (Nov 17, 2011)

You know you are doing something for others, and more than likely you feel compelled to do so. We are all here for one another, whether some of us would admit it or not! I think that the option to have these available for grieving parents is something more than wonderful. You just continue on with your knitting kindness and keep laying your treasures up in heaven!


----------



## kneonknitter (Feb 10, 2011)

Edith M said:


> Thank you for the site . I have down loaded it and will start tomorrow.
> 
> 
> Mevbb said:
> ...


This is beautiful. I have added it to my new folder for the babies & their families.


----------



## Mary Cardiff (Mar 18, 2012)

maysmom said:


> Dear Zara,
> No, I don't think you are morbid at all. I've made burial outfits, but like one poster has written, I prefer to make knitted garments for surviving infants. I sew burial outfits and little hooded capes, etc. It takes so much less time that I can make many burial garments as opposed to the few that could be knitted or crocheted. I once read how many parents are given their baby in a paper bag, and was so horrified that I sat down and made about six little gowns in one sitting. I give my little gowns and capes to our two local hospitals and to the University of CT NICU.
> While I have never experienced a newborn loss, I have had 3 miscarriages, all of which ended in d&c's. I was absolutely horrified that after the first one, the dr gave me the extracted tissues to take to the lab myself. When I recovered from the miscarriage, I let the dr have it with both barrels. The man was indeed clueless, but after that, the office staff made subsequent deliveries. Bless you for giving grieving parents dignity and comfort--
> 
> Karen N.


What a terrible thing for the doctor to do,When I lost my first baby the ward I was in one of the nurses was pregnantn she would go out at lunch time buying baby things,and start showing them to people who had just lot thier babys One day she said I dont know what i would do if I lost my baby,Out of hospital one so called friend said Oh well that one less matinee jacket to make,Do people know how hurtfull they can be,


----------



## southernyankee (Jun 10, 2011)

I am very late about responding, I'm days behind in reading KP. Christmas fun and family has lasted for days!!!I make buntings which I call angel buntings to bury still born children in. They are easy to make and greatly appreciated by the grieving parents who end up needing them. Many of these children are way too small to fit into anything that can be purchased. I don't think of it as being morbid, I think of it as helping grieving parents at a time of greatest sorrow. Continue in your good work!!!!


----------



## emuears (Oct 13, 2012)

As a mother who has one child from seven pregnancies I too knit for premmies and also buriel gowns. When I had my babies it wasn't the thing to dress deceased babies or spend time with them as it is now and the grieving was something that you had to deal with alone as it was not the thing to talk about it.I don't even have birth certificates for my babies.
I now knit these things to put the little ones in and am always available to talk if the mother needs it, I wish I had had a kind ear to listen to how I was feeling at the time instead of feeling for everyone else it was a non event. Bless you and keep up the good work


----------



## pamfm (May 5, 2012)

I think it is a really lovely idea, maybe not everyone could do it and perhaps not everyone would want it but I see it as a very loving thing to do and if I were in that sad situation I would be more than grateful!


----------



## ashworthml (Nov 1, 2012)

I think it's a wonderful thing to do.Don't let anyone talk you down for it.I'm sure there are a lot of parents that would appreciate something made with love to send their babies/children into the next world.


----------



## mthrift (Jan 2, 2012)

People can be incredibly unaware and insensitive to others. They see themselves, and what they are into, and for some reason cannot see the impact or the pain they are causing... so into themselves. I swear there is some sort of wall that blinds them to others, like looking through opaque glasses. Some people seem to be so incapable of empathy, "feeling for the other", unless it happens to them. Sometimes they are so into their own pain, there is just no one else.... can't see anything else. It appears so selfish, but i think it might be personal pain, and neediness, that makes them behave that way.


----------



## mthrift (Jan 2, 2012)

People can be incredibly unaware and insensitive to others. They see themselves, and what they are into, and for some reason cannot see the impact or the pain they are causing... so into themselves. I swear there is some sort of wall that blinds them to others, like looking through opaque glasses. Some people seem to be so incapable of empathy, "feeling for the other", unless it happens to them. Sometimes they are so into their own pain, there is just no one else.... can't see anything else. It appears so selfish, but i think it might be personal pain, and neediness, that makes them behave that way.


----------



## spikepei (Mar 25, 2012)

As a former maritimer. I say go for it. Those at the IWK and the VG will appreciate it. And any other hospital in the surrounding area.


----------



## maysmom (Sep 22, 2011)

Mary Cardiff said:


> maysmom said:
> 
> 
> > Dear Zara,
> ...


It's bad enough for the general public to be so thoughtless, but for medical professionals, that's just inexcusable.

Karen N.


----------



## marilyn skinner (Apr 10, 2012)

When my eldest sons baby was stillborn I made him something to be buried in because to me it was the only gift I would ever be able to give him.Every stitch was a stitch made with love.My middle son Alec (19) made the little coffin because he too felt the need to do the right thing.A baby is so looked forward to by the whole family and each one of us will do what we feel is the right way to express our grief.For Alec and I it was to put our hands to work and give with love.I will always make things for these babies and he is always there for anyone experiencing this loss .


----------



## bevqual (May 9, 2011)

It's very important that these tiny burial garments are made by those of us who can. Most parents who lose a tiny baby are not thinking, 'we should go out and buy an outfit'... if the baby was an early loss you can't buy garments that small anyhow and no, doll clothes normally will not fit.

Sometimes if hospitals don't want them, mortuaries are very grateful for those items, tiny gowns, hats, blankets. Talk to them and ask if they want the gowns to open down the back or the front; I have heard of both preferences. If you need patterns:
http://www.bevscountrycottage.com/bereavement-gowns.html
Bev


----------



## MarRene (Oct 6, 2011)

I sew diapers for these precious angels through Teeny Tears. Yes, it is sad, but what a blessing to grieving parents who can hold their tiny angel and dress him/her in a cute teeny diaper and a burial gown and wrap them in a soft blanket. This is a memory that they will keep in their heart for the rest of their lives. Go with your heart. I thank my Heavenly Father every time I sew one of these little diapers that I never had to use one. (We give these diapers in sets of twos so parents may have one for the baby and an identical one to keep in their treasure pouch.)


----------



## cdanzinger (Sep 1, 2011)

I responded earlier but just reviewed my last email on this subject and saw the knit Angel wrap.. I have so forgotten about this pattern and I really need a change of burial gowns but something I added that might be helpful to others. If you look at pic, I added quarter inch ribbon through the eyelets from where the left side to rt side meet. Then use it as a draw string and the bottom will close up and the infant is snug in the wrap. That was just something I came up with and the nurses loved it as they found it easier to take the infant to the parents. Please remember to use pastel colors. It's easier to have all white, off white, or cream. You can always do the main sections in the white etc and change up the ribbons in a different colors. Blessings, Cathy


----------



## Rev-Linda (Oct 28, 2012)

Today Someone Posted the web site for the Angel Wrap
I can't find it but could you give it to me again.
Rev. Linda


----------



## funkyknitter (Mar 21, 2012)

You feel called to do this and that is all that matters . It is the right thing to do regardless of any else's opinion. If you want my opinion it is a lovely gracious thing to do to help people that you will never know cope with the loss of a baby.


----------



## kneonknitter (Feb 10, 2011)

Rev-Linda said:


> Today Someone Posted the web site for the Angel Wrap
> I can't find it but could you give it to me again.
> Rev. Linda


Here you go Rev. Linda. I am collecting all the sites & patterns I can find & I loved this & saved it.

http://www.lucybug.org/knitangelwrap.html


----------



## Darleen66 (Nov 22, 2012)

God bless you doing such a beautiful thing from your heart. Those who make comments like that have obviously never suffered such a monumental loss of a precious angel. To give such a gift to an unknown recipient speaks volumes about you as a person. I am a registered nurse and I have been unfortunate enough to be present at numerous still births, and it is so much nicer to hand the baby to the grieving parents in a pretty outfit rather than just wrapped in a blanket. So please keep making a difference for those who are suffering, it truely is a worthy cause.


----------



## Darleen66 (Nov 22, 2012)

God bless you doing such a beautiful thing from your heart. Those who make comments like that have obviously never suffered such a monumental loss of a precious angel. To give such a gift to an unknown recipient speaks volumes about you as a person. I am a registered nurse and I have been unfortunate enough to be present at numerous still births, and it is so much nicer to hand the baby to the grieving parents in a pretty outfit rather than just wrapped in a blanket. So please keep making a difference for those who are suffering, it truely is a worthy cause.


----------



## Darleen66 (Nov 22, 2012)

God bless you doing such a beautiful thing from your heart. Those who make comments like that have obviously never suffered such a monumental loss of a precious angel. To give such a gift to an unknown recipient speaks volumes about you as a person. I am a registered nurse and I have been unfortunate enough to be present at numerous still births, and it is so much nicer to hand the baby to the grieving parents in a pretty outfit rather than just wrapped in a blanket. So please keep making a difference for those who are suffering, it truely is a worthy cause.


----------



## dirgni (Jun 6, 2011)

A friend of mine made crochet hats in the size of a walnut and donated them to the hospital. It takes only a small amount of baby yarn and very little time.


----------



## bevqual (May 9, 2011)

Rev-Linda said:


> Today Someone Posted the web site for the Angel Wrap
> I can't find it but could you give it to me again.
> Rev. Linda


I have both Aunt B's patterns- knit and crochet on this page, along with many others:

http://www.bevscountrycottage.com/bereavement-gowns.html

and here are the knitted and crocheted versions:
http://www.bevscountrycottage.com/aunt-bs-knit-angel-wrap.html
http://www.bevscountrycottage.com/aunt-bs-cr-angel-wrap.html


----------



## bevqual (May 9, 2011)

That is very sweet of your friend to make those for the tiniest babies.
For anyone starting out... The best thing to do is go in person, or call your local hospitals, and ask for the Volunteers Coordinator (for NICU if they want specifics) and ask them what their needs are.

I have heard of hospitals receiving items they cannot use. (Like tiny hats when they don't have preemies/NICU at their hospital, or they get hundreds of them and only have maybe a need to 20 per year.)

It is possible that a hospital would need a few walnut sized hats, but I don't recommend that people start making hundreds of them just because they are quick to make. If they have a NICU, they are much more likely to need hats that fit a 3-4 lber (ones that fit an orange) as those babies can be removed from the Isolette and held by parents, and they NEED hats.

Just a few rambling thoughts....


----------



## Teatime4granny (Apr 4, 2011)

For the mothers hankies there are many ways, I usually use a linnen and attach a nice lace to it. Ive used white, blue, pink and a peach lace. If you search newborns in need, you can go to their website and look at patterns there. There are a lot of different charities besides newborns in need, this is just the one I belong to.
Joycein, looking forward to seeing your pattern.
Keep up the good work, 
Sharon


----------



## cdanzinger (Sep 1, 2011)

MarRene, do you have a pattern for the diapers? I love the idea and especially duplicating it for the parents. Blessings for you gift of love. Cathy


----------



## JoyceinNC (Oct 28, 2011)

Teatime4granny said:


> For the mothers hankies there are many ways, I usually use a linnen and attach a nice lace to it. Ive used white, blue, pink and a peach lace. If you search newborns in need, you can go to their website and look at patterns there. There are a lot of different charities besides newborns in need, this is just the one I belong to.
> Joycein, looking forward to seeing your pattern.
> Keep up the good work,
> Sharon


I have the pattern all ready for the sewn gowns I make, it is multi-sized so the pattern had to be split up on to 3 pages. The sizes are for an 8 oz. baby, 1-2 lbs., 3-4 lbs., and 5 lb preemie/newborn. Also have a couple of photos of gowns I've made with the pattern. Having trouble getting it posted here, still trying to figure out what I'm doing wrong. I may have to see if the national headquarters for Newborns in Need (in the same town I live in now) will post it on their website for people to download from there. I'll let you all know what happens! Thanks for your interest.
-Joyce


----------



## Rev-Linda (Oct 28, 2012)

Thank you I will save it and also other patterns we find.


----------



## leighbaetzcraft (May 22, 2011)

I am a nurse in Toronto working at a hospital that cares for babies that are not ready to be born and often the small clothes are still too large. Baby robes and burial gowns are much appreciated by the staff and comfort the parents that their babies are wrapped in a hand knit garment. Thank you!


----------



## kmwr2003 (Dec 29, 2011)

Do what feels right to you.
I cried the first time I finished a burial wrap.
It doesn't really get any easier, but it's a good thing.
People don't plan for this kind of event and you could really bless quite a few people with love and generosity at a time when they really need it.

Kel


----------



## Dsynr (Jun 3, 2011)

It's not morbid at all.
If you have no money and you lose your baby it's even worse because you have no special clothes in which to bury your lost child. Been there, done that. 
Fortunately, an aunt donated the needed articles, but not everyone is not as fortunate as I was in those dark days.
Thanks to the maker of such garments for those who need them. :thumbup:


----------



## mystic31714 (Dec 21, 2011)

I cannot believe someone had negative remarks to make about this. Our Linus quilting group make white blankets for parents to bury their baby is. It means so much to the grieving couple. I think it is wise to stop listening to anyone just follow your heart.


----------



## Lacey (Feb 16, 2011)

Its wonderful what you are doing for the families of preemies. I started knitting for preemies 15 years ago when my niece had a preemie baby girl, she was so tiny and in the hospital for months and months, she is almost 16 now and very healthy, but a lot of families weren't that lucky.
A nice outfit for even the tiny early demise babies is very conforting to parents who can't go out and buy anything that small. Sometimes I do 2 tiny blankies also for the early demise babies (one for burial and one for the parents keepsake box) and sometimes a tiny angel. Every baby no matter how small deserves something pretty to wear or to wrap them in. It is even more important to me since this last year my brothers daughter had a baby boy and he has so far had 2 heart surgeries the first one when he was 10 days old. So someone somewhere is comforted by your kindness and heartfelt knitting. Good wishes and thanks, your knitting is very special.


----------



## poverbaugh (Aug 9, 2012)

I think maybe a "burial gown" is a little morbid but I just saw a beautiful pouch or cacoon in Annie Attack's last catalog which comes in pink or blue (you could buy one for the pattern) and I think they would be beautiful and not mobid at all.


----------



## MarRene (Oct 6, 2011)

Go to Teeny Tears.com and they have all the information and patterns for these teeny diapers. There are two sizes. Let me know if you have any questions or problems getting the patterns.


----------



## Joanne Hyde (Jul 8, 2011)

I think it is wonderful. I remember when my cousin's baby died and her Maother bought a white suit.I still think of that when I think of Jimmy. I know there are other babies in need but those parents need to complete this journey before they can go on perhaps caring for their other children.
People pay a lot for a funeral when others are hungry but their is a need to show respect that way too.
Bless you for caring.


----------



## Deb-Babbles (Mar 4, 2011)

My very first little girls did not live long. She was so very tiny. Of course this was over 40 years ago and babies did not do well if they were born early. A very special group on ladies had made and donated these little gowns for little ones like mine. 
There are also very tiny babies that will pull though. The gifts you make and give to the hospital bring comfort to anyone who needs to use it. I know when my Granddaughter was born a preemie I had no idea how to make something so small. 
I have learned how to make these very small things. Hats, blankets and sleep sacks, I make them and give them with great honor. Yes it is very sad to know they may be used for a finial journey but it could also be used by someone so very tiny that these are the only things that will fit. 
God Bless you for your efforts..


----------



## juerobinson433 (Mar 21, 2011)

I think this is beautiful set


----------



## carol taylor (Jan 10, 2012)

thank you for the information but our hospitals have specific requirements for the preemie and the burial gowns as many infants are so fragile. The gowns are open in the back so as to make dressing easier and the burial wraps are lined in flannel or some other very soft material. There are other requirements also. So, while we could be very creative in what we make, we still need to accomodate the hospital's needs.


----------



## bevqual (May 9, 2011)

Here are some tips for making Preemie items generally. They were compiled by a NICU nurse for my site:
http://www.bevscountrycottage.com/preemie-clothing-tips.html


----------



## tmlester (Apr 8, 2011)

bevqual said:


> Here are some tips for making Preemie items generally. They were compiled by a NICU nurse for my site:
> http://www.bevscountrycottage.com/preemie-clothing-tips.html


Thanks so much for the link, it will be very helpful, especially with the types of yarn to be used.


----------



## cynthiaknits (Oct 19, 2011)

What greater comfort would it be to know that your child was wrapped in something beautiful and made with love?


----------



## kittykatzmom (Mar 1, 2011)

What ever you make is an act of love and that is all that matters. I think your idea is lovely and I am sure there are many parents who will welcome your act of love and kindness in their darkest hour.


----------



## kittykatzmom (Mar 1, 2011)

I checked burial gown and found this website:
Blessing and Bereavement Gowns 
to make for Humanitarian purposes
-all made with much love

It suggests you check with the local hospital to see if they prefer the opening in the front or back.

http://www.bevscountrycottage.com/bereavement-gowns.html


----------



## MummaMia (Jul 4, 2012)

I knitted a whole lot of them in white, very pale pink, lemon, blue colours. I tissied them up to look pretty and my local hospital love them as well as the beanies I knitted in all small sizes. Also good for my 11 year of grandson to see me knit them and realise that not all families are as fortunate as his. He is very proud of me. I'm in the process of knitting a "viewing room" body blanket so people don't have to view their loved one in a white shroud. It's being knitted in Kimberley colours of ochre, blues, mauves, greens. I'm also doing a smaller blanket in pale colours for children.


----------



## bevqual (May 9, 2011)

kittykatzmom said:


> ...
> 
> It suggests you check with the local hospital to see if they prefer the opening in the front or back.
> 
> http://www.bevscountrycottage.com/bereavement-gowns.html


Definitely do check with the place you are donating to, as some prefer to have them open in the front so they can lay the baby down on the gown and gently put their arms in the gown, and then gently close it. Others prefer the closing to be down the back.

Something else that is important, is to make sure you line the inside of the gown... this prevents any fluids from staining, and it helps keep the baby covered. Often preemies are bruised and this would cover that.

I know it's a tough item to make, but it's important for so many reasons that we do many them and donate them for these precious little angels. ♥


----------



## MummaMia (Jul 4, 2012)

I used Chiffon yarn and that was thick enough to be absorbent. I tried lining one and it took longer than knitting the pouch....


----------



## bevqual (May 9, 2011)

MummaMia said:


> I used Chiffon yarn and that was thick enough to be absorbent. I tried lining one and it took longer than knitting the pouch....


The way I make the lining is, I crochet or knit the little gown first, and lay out the pieces before I stitch them closed. I trace around the pieces on paper, and cut out the lining pieces to match. I stitch the lining onto the pieces and then sew the gown shut. Its most important to line the bodice and skirt if that helps.


----------



## kipsalot (Jan 2, 2013)

You go right on and make them. When I was a little girl my parents had another baby who only lived five days. They knew she would not live. Instead of planning to bring her home my father spent that time preparing for her funeral. Moms stayed in the hospital longer back then. It might have been some comfort to have one detail he didn't have to take care of. Bless you.


----------



## kernan (Oct 12, 2012)

My youngest is a clinical pharmacist in PICU at Children's Mercy. For quite a while, she worked NICU. I had a grandchild in NICU for 10 weeks, so my outlook has changed considerably. 
Death is morbid. Anything we do can only lightly veil its true face. If one can do anything to show caring to a grieving family, who would not? 
I think your desire to create a gentle covering for the little one who is now sheltered in the Father's arms is a
beautiful gesture. God bless you.


----------



## MummaMia (Jul 4, 2012)

Thanks for that info Bev, it was your pattern I used to do this. It look lovely lined I must admit. The only fabric I had was a light flanelette because we have no fabric/yarn shop here I have to rely on others to get my supplies.


----------



## Torti (Jun 15, 2011)

I also have these patterns and would like to become involved in knitting preemie needs and angel pockets but don't know who to contact. Keep up the good work such a lovely thing to do for people who are in deep shock and grief. Something they will be grateful for all their lives.


----------



## Mimiskl (Mar 17, 2012)

I think it is a wonderful idea. Let God lead you and not someone that does not know what grieving parents go through when losing a baby. We lost our little Baby Shane when my daughter was about 16 weeks along. I did not know anything about burial gowns at that time. I was working on a crocheted blanket for the new arrival. I made a very small blankie for him to be buried with and finished the big for his parents to keep. These small things mean so very much to the families. I currently belong to a Blanket ministry that provides fleece blankets to local hospital. some are the tied ones and some we crochet edges on. We make some very small ones for the preemies and the angels. Such a small thing can be a loving gift to grieving family. Reaching out with God's love to another is always good.


----------



## bevqual (May 9, 2011)

Torti said:


> I also have these patterns and would like to become involved in knitting preemie needs and angel pockets but don't know who to contact. Keep up the good work such a lovely thing to do for people who are in deep shock and grief. Something they will be grateful for all their lives.


You can call your local hospital and ask for the Volunteers Coordinator to see if they have a need for handmade burial gowns. You can also talk to your local Funeral homes and see if they have a need. I know ours doesn't have a huge need, we live in a small valley, but they do need some to have on hand.

Since this is mainly a Mormon community, and we favor white for burials, I know I need to knit and crochet tiny white items. I normally add a small accent color ribbon, tiny flower, or trim in pink, blue, or just a pretty yellow, as sometimes they don't know the sex of the baby.

If you can't find anyone locally, I do have some listings on my pediatrics page for places who need such items here:

http://www.bevscountrycottage.com/peds.html

Hope this helps. ♥


----------



## carol taylor (Jan 10, 2012)

I am attaching a picture of the ones I do for our hospital.
I make two different sizes, the largest is about 9" and the other about 7-1/2" from hood top to bottom. They are lined with soft flannel.


----------



## kernan (Oct 12, 2012)

Whatnlovely items, certainly a comfort to those who must use them.


----------



## SWMORSEL (Aug 18, 2012)

YES I WOULD DO IT MY DAUGHTERS FIRST BABY WAS
A GIRL AND Y NOT CAMEVERY EARLY ONLY LIVED FOR ABOUT
A FEW MINUTES AND WE HAD A BURIEL AND WOULD
NOT WNAT A BABYND TO HAVE NOTHING ON
AND HER 2ND CHILD ONLY WEIGHED 1 POUND 6 OUNCES
AND ALL WE WENT THROUGH SHE IS NOW DOING GOOD ETC ALOT OF PEOPLE DONATE LIKE TO CHILDRENS HOSPITAL FOR THE PREEMIE BABIES ETC I WOULD
DRFINITELY DO THAT


----------



## SWMORSEL (Aug 18, 2012)

YES I WOULD DO IT MY DAUGHTERS FIRST BABY WAS
A GIRL AND Y NOT CAMEVERY EARLY ONLY LIVED FOR ABOUT
A FEW MINUTES AND WE HAD A BURIEL AND WOULD
NOT WNAT A BABYND TO HAVE NOTHING ON
AND HER 2ND CHILD ONLY WEIGHED 1 POUND 6 OUNCES
AND ALL WE WENT THROUGH SHE IS NOW DOING GOOD ETC ALOT OF PEOPLE DONATE LIKE TO CHILDRENS HOSPITAL FOR THE PREEMIE BABIES ETC I WOULD
DRFINITELY DO THAT


----------



## GypsyC1225 (Apr 13, 2011)

WOULD YOU SHARE THIS PATTERN WITH ME? If you can not, I will understnad


----------



## MaggiePringlemeir (Jun 3, 2012)

Zara writes --
is knitting a burial gown really any different?

To which I respond --

Darn tootin' it is different. Many knitters have the skills to make these items but will not -- it offends their delicate sensabilities to think that a baby sometimes doesn't get to come home to aloving family. These need to get their heads out of their arses and recognize reality -- it's not supposed to happen, it's flat wrong when the child dies before the parent -- but sometimes, it does happen. It's not morbid to be kind and help fill a need. Others are like me -- I know that they are needed, recognize the validity of the project -- but my own sense of compassion turns me to depression -- how sad, what a waste of human potential, damn shame -- and I'm sitting there crying and getting tears on the little garment. 

I say it IS different -- because it takes a very special person with a very special heart to be able to make these and release them with love and hope -- not everyone can be that blessing. You're a special lady, Zara. I'm proud to know you. 

Warm hugs and woofs, 
Maggie & MacTaggart


----------



## bevqual (May 9, 2011)

carol taylor said:


> I am attaching a picture of the ones I do for our hospital.
> I make two different sizes, the largest is about 9" and the other about 7-1/2" from hood top to bottom. They are lined with soft flannel.


Which pattern is this one? It's adorable. I am wondering if I have it linked from my page for these?

I thought it might be this one but it's not quite the same. http://www.bundlesoflove.org/knitburialbunting.htm


----------



## aclark3012 (Feb 16, 2011)

Be led by your own heart--I think this is a wonderful idea. It so happens my granddaughter was born this year-without lungs-and and didn't live. I was shocked at how nice the people were in the nicu at the hospital They furnished her with a beautiful gown for burial. I suppose this was God's way of repaying me for all the little newborns I have crocheted for. So go on and do as you heart leads you and remember God sees all and knows all --and he is very pleased with whatever you do and the parents of a deceased child are forever grateful--God bless you


----------



## aclark3012 (Feb 16, 2011)

Be led by your own heart--I think this is a wonderful idea. It so happens my granddaughter was born this year-without lungs-and and didn't live. I was shocked at how nice the people were in the nicu at the hospital They furnished her with a beautiful gown for burial. I suppose this was God's way of repaying me for all the little newborns I have crocheted for. So go on and do as you heart leads you and remember God sees all and knows all --and he is very pleased with whatever you do and the parents of a deceased child are forever grateful--God bless you


----------



## Ronique (Jan 5, 2013)

Zara, 'go for it'. You have been given a gift in being able to knit, and if your 'drive' is to show your love for others in this way, then don't listen to others who find the idea strange. As a grandmother who had one of her grandchilden stillborn at 7 months, and having to see the grief of my daughter and son-in-law, I bless you for your empathy. God Bless
Ronique


----------



## nanny3925 (Apr 25, 2012)

what a compassionate person you are. of course there is a need for the living; but grieving parents have a special need as well. God obviously put this need in your heart. God Bless you for thoughtfulness.


----------



## nanny3925 (Apr 25, 2012)

what a compassionate person you are. of course there is a need for the living; but grieving parents have a special need as well. God obviously put this need in your heart. God Bless you for thoughtfulness.


----------



## carol taylor (Jan 10, 2012)

They are simply rectangles. CO 34 stitches, I did a 6-1/2" rectangle, binding off about 7 stitches on each side and knitted another little 4" sq/rect in the center, I just eyeballed it. Then before stitching up the hood, I drew around the whole thing and cut out a pc of flannel, allowing 1/4" seam allowance and then pinned and hand-stitched lining in, then brought two pcs of hood pc together and sewed up center top seam. The 3rd row and the last row before the hood is knitted have YO's making the holes for the ribbon. This was a crochet pattern converted to knit by Nina Self, Touching Little Lives volunteer. I think I saw it in my charity knitting booklets. It is not the Bundles of Love bunting which has more work to it.


----------



## alwilda (Apr 14, 2011)

What are the dimensions of a afghan for a preemie or a burial blanket?


----------



## bevqual (May 9, 2011)

alwilda said:


> What are the dimensions of a afghan for a preemie or a burial blanket?


This might help.

http://www.bevscountrycottage.com/size-chart.html#blanket


----------



## Muddyann (Jan 29, 2011)

I think God leads us where he needs us. He's a best fit kind of God. He leads us to where what we (make, do, or relate to) fits. He doesn't force us, but if He is tapping on your shoulder about this project (which is a great project having done so myself) then you will be blessed. In my life, I have made preemie clothes as gifts to send to young mothers who weren't expecting a preemie and didn't have the money, also to friends who have relatives that had an unexpected preemie. I made preemie clothes for hospitals NICU wards as my sister was a nurse. Her comment was "we have this ugly baby bootee contest, where these groups send in bootees they made from left over yarn and they keep the baby's feet warm, but putting bright orange or dark brown bootees on such tiny babies, well it is kind of funny." So she asked me to make some clothes, bootees, sweaters, etc. So I did. Then over the years God led me to make hats for the homeless, so I did. Now the Lord seems to be leading me back to making things for babies (not necessarily preemies, but there was a notice in the paper, and I felt that I should investigate it once we are all moved in. In the meantime, I made three hats and a sweater for it. I can't just sit in a chair when I am exhausted. I am getting close on my house being done. Yipee. We moved in the 28th of December. Bless you.


----------



## Isla May (Nov 20, 2012)

woodart said:


> Hi folks,
> This is a great topic, Thanks for opening it!
> My mother and father lost their first child (a son) during the war years in Melbourne, Aust. The baby only lived a few hours and the baby's body was whisked away too quickly to allow my parents to grieve. They were not told where the baby was buried and right up until Mum died she kept wondering where he had been laid to rest. Dad was in the Australian Navy and given shore leave to be with Mum for the birth but then he had to rush back to work.
> They went on to have two daughters but I suspect they suffered more over the loss of a son.
> ...


Reading the above brought back memories of being told that my parents had a boy two or three years before I was born. They named him Rex, but as he was premature, he only lived about 3 days. My father told me Rex looked liked 'a skinned rabbit' and was wrapped in cotton wool to try and keep him warm. This all happened before 1940 , and when he died, he was put in a grave with someone else. I have no idea where he is buried in the local cemetary, but I always wonder what he would have been like. Not having any other siblings, I think of him as my Guardian Angel.

Veronica. aka Isla May.


----------



## Ronique (Jan 5, 2013)

These memories that have been shared - I have also lost a son. I was blessed with having him with me for 34 years before he was taken in a horrific accident. Two years later, my daughter lost her second child, a son, stillborn at 7 months pregnancy. That really hurt me and 'other gran' as our children still can't talk, and we respect their privacy. 'Other gran' and I can talk to one another about our grandson we were never to meet. I feel that people who have this urge to use their gift to try and alleviate the pain of others can be admired and thanked that they are willing to meet a need that the people involved in a situation don't even realise they have, the pain is numbing. God Bless.


----------



## alwilda (Apr 14, 2011)

Is there free sewing patterns for this type of clothes?


----------



## bevqual (May 9, 2011)

alwilda said:


> Is there free sewing patterns for this type of clothes?


There are some on this page on my site... they have an (S) next to them.
http://www.bevscountrycottage.com/bereavement-gowns.html


----------



## Teatime4granny (Apr 4, 2011)

There are lots of free patterns out there,

Here is one site for Newborns In Need.

http://www.newbornsinneed.org/html/baby_patterns.html


----------



## Muddyann (Jan 29, 2011)

I love this site. It also says where local area chapters are and there is one within driving distance from my house. Thank you so much. You wouldn't believe how many things I had to mail off and this way I can save that postage. Thank you, thank you, thank you.


----------



## momskii (Oct 25, 2012)

Frogger said:


> What a wonderful kind thing to do!! How hard it must be for a parent and how wonderful it would be to have to never think of something like a burial gown for a baby --but bless you for thinking and providing something so special! One less thing for a grieving parent to have to deal with and yet know that their baby is dressed in the best!!


You are doing a great service to provide something so special.
hugs to you


----------



## munchkin (Mar 7, 2011)

Zara I commend you for reaching out to the parents who have lost babies. My son is a professional photographer and his local hospital called him and asked him if he would take photo's of the babies who have passed for a program called "Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep." The parents are so eternally grateful because they feel that their child was a part of their life and their memory should live on forever in their hearts. Their child was here only for a brief moment but it was still a part of them...sooo put your love and your heart in every stitch of those burial gowns and you will bring peace to someone elses heart.


----------

