# When giving a knitted gift...?



## Nittinnut (Jan 10, 2014)

My StepDaughter just gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. I didn't knit anything for the baby because there's plenty of knitted items from the first daughter (now 20 months). When I saw the 'Foolproof' cowl I felt compelled to knit it for SD as new birth gift. 
http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/foolproof

I picked neutral colors which she seems to prefer. Problem is, she's never been too enthusiastic about anything I've knitted and I'd hate for this to never get worn.

Is it OK if I say, "if you don't think you will wear this, give it back and you can pick something that I'll knit for you."


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## Pocahontas (Apr 15, 2011)

I can't imagine anyone not liking that cowl, it is so in vogue. That being said, I don't think I would say that to her - just give the gift. Maybe you can have the conversation later about her tastes and go from there.


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## knittingagain (Apr 12, 2011)

I think that would be a perfectly good question. Allows her an out without hurting your feelings.


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## dragonfly7673 (May 13, 2014)

Personally, I've learned that it's better to just ask beforehand. My 18yo son wanted a hat, turns out the style and colors I picked were not what he was thinking of and he probably wouldn't have worn it if I had made it. I let him choose and now he's wearing it all the time.


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## teannia (Nov 27, 2011)

It is a beautiful cowl and my feeling is..who wouldn't love it. I don't have a problem with you saying "if you don't think you will wear this, give it back and you can pick something that I'll knit for you." BUT, if you feel that she's not enthusiastic about anything you've knitted, I wouldn't give it . I have family members that don't appreciate handmade items, so I don't give them.


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## TravelKnit (Feb 23, 2013)

knittingagain said:


> I think that would be a perfectly good question. Allows her an out without hurting your feelings.


I agree!


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## annweb (Feb 23, 2012)

I gave a girl a hat and said I know you like the colour but if you don't think you would wear it I am quite happy to take it for someone else .This didn't cause any offence .


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## jumbleburt (Mar 10, 2011)

I would approach it by asking her if she'd like you to make her something first rather than telling her later she doesn't have to keep it if she doesn't like it. That puts her in an awkward position. If she says she'd like something, show her the pattern, and if she doesn't respond enthusiastically, spend some time looking through patterns for something else she'd like. JMHO


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## jumbleburt (Mar 10, 2011)

teannia said:


> It is a beautiful cowl and my feeling is..who wouldn't love it.


Some people (including me) just aren't cowl people. No offense, but I wouldn't wear it, even though I recognize that it is stylish.


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## Grapejelli (Apr 3, 2011)

Cowls are so much the "in thing" right now. I can't imagine her not liking one.


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## JUDYLEU (Jan 6, 2015)

jumbleburt said:


> I would approach it by asking her if she'd like you to make her something first rather than telling her later she doesn't have to keep it if she doesn't like it. That puts her in an awkward position. If she says she'd like something, show her the pattern, and if she doesn't respond enthusiastically, spend some time looking through patterns for something else she'd like. JMHO


I totally agree. I'd ask her first to get an idea of what she would like, if anything.


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## teannia (Nov 27, 2011)

jumbleburt said:


> Some people (including me) just aren't cowl people. No offense, but I wouldn't wear it, even though I recognize that it is stylish.


No offense taken. Your point is well taken.


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## knitfreek (Jan 27, 2015)

Nittinnut said:


> My StepDaughter just gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. I didn't knit anything for the baby because there's plenty of knitted items from the first daughter (now 20 months). When I saw the 'Foolproof' cowl I felt compelled to knit it for SD as new birth gift.
> http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/foolproof
> 
> I picked neutral colors which she seems to prefer. Problem is, she's never been too enthusiastic about anything I've knitted and I'd hate for this to never get worn.
> ...


I agree with Teanna on this. We knitters spend waaay too much time, effort, and love on our creations to give them to someone who doesn't appreciate them. I'd save it for another, or wear it yourself.


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## Irish knitter (Mar 29, 2011)

I always tell people....if you do not like it give it back and tell me what you want and I'll knit it.....


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## riversong200 (Apr 20, 2014)

What an interesting pattern! I agree with those who would ask before you give it away.


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## mirl56 (Dec 20, 2011)

It sure does look like a fun knit. I want to buy the pattern just to see how it's done!

"Its an intriguing construction; a real mystery.

How about a cowl with no casting on & no binding off?

Its made in rows but ends up all in one piece.

Theres no knitting in the round, no sewing, no grafting, no provisional cast-on, no picking up stitches. Promise."


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## Paula - Sussex UK (Mar 26, 2011)

jumbleburt said:


> I would approach it by asking her if she'd like you to make her something first rather than telling her later she doesn't have to keep it if she doesn't like it. That puts her in an awkward position. If she says she'd like something, show her the pattern, and if she doesn't respond enthusiastically, spend some time looking through patterns for something else she'd like. JMHO


I completely agree with this. And by the way, although I think it is a super pattern can just about understand that it might not be everyone's fashon statement.


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## impatient knitter (Oct 5, 2011)

Nittinnut said:


> My StepDaughter just gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. I didn't knit anything for the baby because there's plenty of knitted items from the first daughter (now 20 months). When I saw the 'Foolproof' cowl I felt compelled to knit it for SD as new birth gift.
> http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/foolproof
> 
> I picked neutral colors which she seems to prefer. Problem is, she's never been too enthusiastic about anything I've knitted and I'd hate for this to never get worn.
> ...


I do that all the time! If someone doesn't like, or need, whatEVER I give them, I always ask for it back. There is bound to be someone who will be able to use, and WILL want what you have to give -- me, for example! That cowl is lovely, and I can't imagine her not liking it.


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## teannia (Nov 27, 2011)

dragonfly7673 said:


> Personally, I've learned that it's better to just ask beforehand. My 18yo son wanted a hat, turns out the style and colors I picked were not what he was thinking of and he probably wouldn't have worn it if I had made it. I let him choose and now he's wearing it all the time.


dragonfly, I've done that with my daughter as well. I think it's easier when it's your child. I offered to make her boot cuffs last month and she declined. Hates them! Cowls, hats and mitts are what this 20 year old is into. So, I just usually wait until she asks for whatever.


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## teannia (Nov 27, 2011)

knitfreek said:


> I agree with Teanna on this. We knitters spend waaay too much time, effort, and love on our creations to give them to someone who doesn't appreciate them. I'd save it for another, or wear it yourself.


Welcome knitfreek!

I can't wait to see some of your creations. So, make yourself at home and start sharing!


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## jbandsma (Mar 6, 2011)

Nittinnut said:


> My StepDaughter just gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. I didn't knit anything for the baby because there's plenty of knitted items from the first daughter (now 20 months). When I saw the 'Foolproof' cowl I felt compelled to knit it for SD as new birth gift.
> http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/foolproof
> 
> I picked neutral colors which she seems to prefer. Problem is, she's never been too enthusiastic about anything I've knitted and I'd hate for this to never get worn.
> ...


I'm never sure if my granddaughters will like what I do for them so I started adding the following to the majority of my gifts...not just to them, but to almost everybody:

"I don't know if this gift is what you want, if the colors are good or even if you'd like it. However, if any of these things are wrong, please pass it on to someone who would like it and use it. You will not hurt my feelings if you do this. You will not hurt my feelings if you even tell me you did so. You WILL hurt my feelings if you shove it in a closet or drawer and forget about it".


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## disgo (Mar 2, 2013)

mirl56 said:


> It sure does look like a fun knit. I want to buy the pattern just to see how it's done!
> 
> "Its an intriguing construction; a real mystery.
> 
> ...


You an me both!!! I have yet to have the yarn come out of the skein like a trained snake and just make a stitch of some sort and then increase and decrease constantly--like that is any better than knitting in the round on the diagonal???

Yes diagonal stitches can create firm fabrics but in garter?

I have done both ways and much preferred the diagonal worked stitches over all that increasing and decreasing--bad enough on the baby blanket was all I wanted with that. Its like doing short rows constantly. The tubular scarf I made was in crochet which is far easier to increase and decrease and even then it was a royal pain.

And better yet what made the stitches just come together at the end because a Kitchner is a join/seam.

If the person in question has said or even nonverbally expressed any dislike for hand knitted items then let them get their own off the rack. Do something for those that show interest or appreciate the effort involved and not just the color or the yarn. If SD is the one with the infants then when have you seen them using them when you just pop in?????


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## bevvyreay (Dec 5, 2012)

jbandsma said:


> I'm never sure if my granddaughters will like what I do for them so I started adding the following to the majority of my gifts...not just to them, but to almost everybody:
> 
> "I don't know if this gift is what you want, if the colors are good or even if you'd like it. However, if any of these things are wrong, please pass it on to someone who would like it and use it. You will not hurt my feelings if you do this. You will not hurt my feelings if you even tell me you did so. You WILL hurt my feelings if you shove it in a closet or drawer and forget about it".


Nice wording :thumbup: I also always ask discreetly if the item is not wanted for any reason to pass it on or back to me would hate all that love and effort to be stuffed in a cupboard


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## dragonfly7673 (May 13, 2014)

teannia said:


> dragonfly, I've done that with my daughter as well. I think it's easier when it's your child. I offered to make her boot cuffs last month and she declined. Hates them! Cowls, hats and mitts are what this 20 year old is into. So, I just usually wait until she asks for whatever.


it definitely is easier with my son but I've done it with friends too if I'm unsure. My knitting time is too limited and too valuable to knit things people might not want. My son has actually said on certain things "mom, don't make that, you'll spend a lot of time and I won't wear it". (socks for one... although now I tease him because he's 18 with huge feet and I say he should have said yes when he was younger  )


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## Jessica-Jean (Mar 14, 2011)

jumbleburt said:


> I would approach it by asking her if she'd like you to make her something first rather than telling her later she doesn't have to keep it if she doesn't like it. That puts her in an awkward position. If she says she'd like something, show her the pattern, and if she doesn't respond enthusiastically, spend some time looking through patterns for something else she'd like. JMHO


 :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## Nittinnut (Jan 10, 2014)

The reason I didn't get the OK before I started was because I wanted it to be a surprise. Seems like there's more votes for the if-you-don't-like-it, then... comment, so I guess that's what I'll do at this point.

Thanks for all of your wisdom and willingness to share it.


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## Jessica-Jean (Mar 14, 2011)

jbandsma said:


> ... I started adding the following to the majority of my gifts...not just to them, but to almost everybody:
> 
> "I don't know if this gift is what you want, if the colors are good or even if you'd like it. However, if any of these things are wrong, please pass it on to someone who would like it and use it. You will not hurt my feelings if you do this. You will not hurt my feelings if you even tell me you did so. *You WILL hurt my feelings if you shove it in a closet or drawer and forget about it*".


My step-mother prized her gifted afghans _*too*_ much! She kept them all neatly folded inside plastic bags up on a high shelf in a closet. They only came out when she wanted to show someone what she'd received as a gift. They were _never_ used. 
When she found an absolutely gorgeous Christmas afghan at the church's thrift shop, she bought it for $5 and kept it draped - year round yet! - over a rocking chair in the living room. Go figure!
She also used the first dishcloth I ever made as a doily. Thereafter, I made just plain ones in dull colours; _those_ she used as intended.

Can't win!

I love your little note. I think I'll save it and do the same thing. Thank you!


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## cinjean48 (Sep 16, 2013)

I sent my Daughter and GD a large box of knitted items around Christmas time. I was not a Christmas gift, just some things I made in my spare time. I told her that if there was anything in the box that they didn't like to re-gift to someone who would like it or donate it to the shelter that she volunteers at. My feelings would not be hurt if she didn't care for some of them. They did keep most of them. I few went to friends. Unless it is a very complicated pattern and takes a long time to make, that may be an idea. In this cold weather, I'm sure some poor soul would love to have it. Just a thought


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## jbandsma (Mar 6, 2011)

Jessica-Jean said:


> My step-mother prized her gifted afghans _*too*_ much! She kept them all neatly folded inside plastic bags up on a high shelf in a closet. They only came out when she wanted to show someone what she'd received as a gift. They were _never_ used.
> When she found an absolutely gorgeous Christmas afghan at the church's thrift shop, she bought it for $5 and kept it draped - year round yet! - over a rocking chair in the living room. Go figure!
> She also used the first dishcloth I ever made as a doily. Thereafter, I made just plain ones in dull colours; _those_ she used as intended.
> 
> ...


I recognize your step-mother's reasoning...lived with it. It's called the "too good to use" syndrome. You give somebody (especially an older person) something you've made or a new piece of clothing and they never use or wear it because "it's too nice to wear/use". But an afghan from the thrift store has already been used and is, therefore, not 'too' good. Same with the dishcloths. My sister STILL uses the dishcloths I made her for doilies because she says they're 'too pretty' to use on dishes.

But I can see your plain, 'dull' dishcloths not falling into that category so being appropriate for cleaning purposes.


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## deshka (Apr 6, 2011)

I have told people "I made this, but if you don't think you'd like it, you can pick another pattern and I will make it".


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## rosebud527 (Jun 20, 2014)

I think a better answer would be "if this isn't your style I can knit you something else." Let her decide whether to give it back-after all, it is a gift. Good luck.


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## run4fittness (May 22, 2011)

She might fool you, that is a beautiful cowl.


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## lynnlassiter (Jun 30, 2011)

Yes, I would think so. Although the cowl is beautiful!


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## mikebkk (Oct 6, 2012)

Pocahontas said:


> I can't imagine anyone not liking that cowl, it is so in vogue. That being said, I don't think I would say that to her - just give the gift. Maybe you can have the conversation later about her tastes and go from there.


 :thumbup:


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## Charann102 (Apr 26, 2014)

I always ask first. It saves a lot of my time and energy if the intended receiver isn't really interested in receiving a hand-knit item.


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## janis blondel (May 20, 2011)

Why don't you ask her first if there is anything she might like as you would like to knit her a gift. There maybe a reason why she is not enthusiastic maybe she is sensitive to certain yarns or has had a bad experience in the past. Talk to her.


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## pfoley (Nov 29, 2011)

I would't knit anything for someone who I did not think would appreciate it. Not everyone likes homemade knits. And, I would not present her with the scarf and then tell her if she does not wear it I would like it back.

I would show her the photo first, and ask her if this scarf is something she would wear. I would tell her I saw the pattern and thought it was pretty, and would be happy to make it for her if she liked it.


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## Nannylez (Jan 24, 2012)

I feel its always better to ask. Some people don't like hand knits. My sister spent a lot of time knitting for her pregnant daughter in law. Every pattern was carefully chosen, laundered and aired ready for the new arrival. The DIL then declared she wouldn't dream of putting handmade clothes on her baby and went on to buy all baby clothes from expensive High Street shops. So my advice, to avoid wasting time, effort and yarn is to always ask


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## Munchn (Mar 3, 2013)

I'd show her the photo and ask her if she'd like to have this. This gives her a choice instead of "forcing" it on her.


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## samdog13 (May 24, 2014)

jumbleburt said:


> I would approach it by asking her if she'd like you to make her something first rather than telling her later she doesn't have to keep it if she doesn't like it. That puts her in an awkward position. If she says she'd like something, show her the pattern, and if she doesn't respond enthusiastically, spend some time looking through patterns for something else she'd like. JMHO


I agree. Even family members have completely different tastes.


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## hallsyh (Nov 14, 2011)

I always say this - I am not precious about my knitting, just rather someone got to wear it than it lie around in a drawer. 
I did this with a Christmas gift for a little boy -Mum loved it but it was too small. I said to return it and I would knit something bigger, which I did.
Only problem was Mum didn't want to give the first one back -was going to keep it for the next baby-which was fine by me. Everyone happy-nobody's feelings hurt-but you might end up knitting her more than one of these lovelies!


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## lil rayma (Mar 29, 2012)

I think asking to give something back if they don't like it, might intimidate some people. You know your SD better than we do. There have been several suggestions here. Pick the one that will work in your situation. I, personally, would not even try to please someone with a knitted gift, if they have shown you in the past that they don't appreciate them.


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## Nilda muniz (Aug 14, 2011)

If you feel she wouldn't wear it, then I would not spend the time knitting it for her only to be folded away. Knitting takes time and its costly, then why add to it frustration?


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## nmorris (Oct 14, 2014)

I know how you feel, I knitted a cardigan for my grandson because I just loved the wool. After it was knitted I wasn't sure they would like it so when I took it down to them I said if you don't like it I won't feel offended. As luck would have it they absolutely loved it. Maybe you could show her the cowl you have knitted and see what response you get, if she loves it tell her you knitted it for her but wasn't sure if she would like it. Depends on your relationship with her - sometimes you have to tread a bit carefully with stepchildren.


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## kristym (Nov 21, 2011)

I have learned to always ask first before making/gifting something home created. many do NOT appreciate them and I hate to find out later they were donated to goodwill or worse, thrown out.


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## Kaiess (Jan 25, 2013)

I have crocheted a lacy scarf for my closest friend with yarn she gave me which she was going to use to knit clothes for her granddaughter. It didn't knit well as it split very easily so I decided to try crochet, which was fine.
I intend to give the scarf to her and say, "If this isn't your thing I'll take it back and we can talk about something else you would like me to knit for you." We are good enough friends that we can be honest with one another. 
I don't like cowls so I would never wear one from choice but if someone made me one I would wear it whenever I met with the giver.


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## sbeth53 (Mar 29, 2011)

I agree. One DIL gushes over things I make yet I never see her wearing any of the items I have knit for her. My call to give them because I was giving to the other DIL's. Lesson learned...this year for Christmas she got a gift card to her favorite store and couldn't wait to go shopping, even asked me to babysit so she could relax and shop without a two year old.


teannia said:


> It is a beautiful cowl and my feeling is..who wouldn't love it. I don't have a problem with you saying "if you don't think you will wear this, give it back and you can pick something that I'll knit for you." BUT, if you feel that she's not enthusiastic about anything you've knitted, I wouldn't give it . I have family members that don't appreciate handmade items, so I don't give them.


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## SGMMontgomery (Mar 23, 2014)

Ask.

Although she might "appreciate" your gift...it may not be something she "wants."

Beautiful pattern.


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## jemima (Mar 26, 2011)

O dear I said this to my sons partner and her response was Don't give me anything that you may want back if I don't like it. Any gift that she doesn't like she sells on Ebay.


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## czechmate (Jun 17, 2011)

yes you can say that ,nothing wrong.you did all the work and I hope it wasn't for nothing.


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## joy249 (Oct 7, 2011)

Your Cowl pattern is beautiful. Answer to your question, maybe she just doesn't like cowls. I can't wear them as I over heat and makes me feel trapped. I have had a beautiful one given to me but haven't worn it. I love the person who gave it to me but it is just not me. So yes, ask her if this is something she would like and if not what would she like you to knit for her. Maybe she doesn't like knitted items. This will give her an out. She may love you but cowls aren't something she will ever wear. She may feel bad about not liking knitted items but she loves you and doesn't want to hurt your feelings.


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## Grannie Sandy (Jan 13, 2014)

jumbleburt said:


> I would approach it by asking her if she'd like you to make her something first rather than telling her later she doesn't have to keep it if she doesn't like it. That puts her in an awkward position. If she says she'd like something, show her the pattern, and if she doesn't respond enthusiastically, spend some time looking through patterns for something else she'd like. JMHO


 :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: What a wise plan. She may be allergic to the fiber you used or look better in a different color.


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## DebHow78 (Nov 11, 2014)

You could show it to her and say". Do you like this? If you like it, I'd like to give it to you, but I just wasn't sure if you'd like I tonight to wear it."


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## Normagw (Mar 4, 2012)

I would show her the pattern before you knitted it. I am not a cowl person. She may think this style is too old for her and may be responsive to something else.


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## Normagw (Mar 4, 2012)

I would show her the pattern before you knitted it. I am not a cowl person. She may think this style is too old for her and may be responsive to something else.


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## mac.worrall (Jun 24, 2011)

Nittinnut said:


> Is it OK if I say, "if you don't think you will wear this, give it back and you can pick something that I'll knit for you."


That sounds like a good idea.
I never knit anything as a gift without checking first if it is acceptable.After all,tastes differ.
Personally I dislike cowls- an ordinary scarf is so much easier to wear.


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## Madelyn (Aug 16, 2014)

I did just that with my son's friend. I had knit a beige mohair cowl for her, but when she arrived I noticed that she had mostly black accessories. I had originally intended to ask if she wanted a cowl or an infinity and had left the final seam open. I just asked if she would wear the cowl/infinity or should I knit something in another color or type of yarn.


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## Charliesun (Jun 17, 2013)

A gift is a gift, then the receiver can do whatever they wish with it. I would just give it to her with no comment, other than "I hope you like it!" I would think she would appreciate the effort. Sometimes a busy mom doesn't have time to hand wash knitted things, and that might be why she isn't so thrilled with your other offering. You might offer to wash anything she needs (knitted items) as you appear to be the expert, maybe that would help???? Store bought things are just wash and wear. Good luck.


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## Windbeam (Jul 31, 2011)

Beautiful cowl pattern. Maybe show her the picture first?


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## Metrogal (Mar 15, 2011)

Nittinnut said:


> My StepDaughter just gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. I didn't knit anything for the baby because there's plenty of knitted items from the first daughter (now 20 months). When I saw the 'Foolproof' cowl I felt compelled to knit it for SD as new birth gift.
> http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/foolproof
> 
> I picked neutral colors which she seems to prefer. Problem is, she's never been too enthusiastic about anything I've knitted and I'd hate for this to never get worn.
> ...


I would ask that question BEFORE I did the knitting. Show her the picture and ask. But I would've knitted something for the baby. I don't care if there's "other" things from the other baby.


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## Marny CA (Jun 26, 2011)

I knit my first shrug and it was soft and cuddly and white and ... well, and I just didn't like the way it looked on me.

Oh double drats! What to do, what to do.

Then I mentioned it to my friend Jessie and she said she'd like to see it. Showed it to her, she said she would try it on. A few days later she called to say she was wearing her shrug 'cause it was a bit chilly -- and she "loves it! Thank you!!"

Yes, I told her if she didn't like it, give it back and I'll find it a different home.

She has worn the fingerless mitts and scarf and hat I made for her - especially when she went to wintry Colorado!!

Irish knitter, is the yarn on your avatar called Rosebud by Bernat? If so, isn't it fun to see the roses as you knit? Sad to say, that yarn is no longer in their inventory.


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## Friederike (Aug 26, 2011)

It's a beautiful cowl. About your daughter and the cowl, well, I'd ask her if she'd wear it when you show her the picture. Talk to her, she is your daughter! :thumbup:
My sister likes my knitted things (she also knits) but has a problem with most yarns feeling itchy to her. I didn't know this fact for a long time since she lives in Austria. Now, when I knit something for her, I look for cotton and non itchy yarn blends. Sometimes we don't know why people don't wear what we knit for them and too often they won't tell us!


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## Nana5 (Aug 17, 2011)

I would just say to her "I would love to make you a cowl, they are so "in" right now, would you like one? If she says she wouldn't wear it.....then you have a new cowl! But, if she says I would love you to do that for me, then wait a week and give it to her. No one gets hurt that way.


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## MJF (Mar 20, 2013)

jumbleburt said:


> I would approach it by asking her if she'd like you to make her something first rather than telling her later she doesn't have to keep it if she doesn't like it. That puts her in an awkward position. If she says she'd like something, show her the pattern, and if she doesn't respond enthusiastically, spend some time looking through patterns for something else she'd like. JMHO


I agree!


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## Condia (Jul 24, 2012)

I think it would be perfectly fine to note that if it would not be worn to choose something else. Personally, I do not like cowls at all, I find them to be quite an irritation.


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## Fourel (Jun 25, 2012)

Yes, that will be appropriate.


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## Jaevick (Feb 14, 2011)

Make life simple. Just ask her in advance if she wants anything and let her pick the pattern and yarn. Don't be offended if she declines your offer.


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## cooknknit (May 7, 2011)

I agree with this answer, I too was going to make a scarf for my son and showed him the picture of the pattern, he said thanks, but would probably never wear it, but did say he would love a scarf that was knit from a lighter weight yarn, not so bulky looking, so I did one and he has worn it out!


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## Lovinknittin (Apr 2, 2011)

Nittinnut said:


> My StepDaughter just gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. I didn't knit anything for the baby because there's plenty of knitted items from the first daughter (now 20 months). When I saw the 'Foolproof' cowl I felt compelled to knit it for SD as new birth gift.
> http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/foolproof
> 
> I picked neutral colors which she seems to prefer. Problem is, she's never been too enthusiastic about anything I've knitted and I'd hate for this to never get worn.
> ...


Yes. I would find out colors that she likes first and then enjoy the knitting.


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## judyr (Feb 20, 2011)

If you have questions about her taste, I would ask her for preferences. Better to make something she would like and not what you would like. She will be wearing the article and not you.


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## lainey_h (Dec 14, 2013)

That cowl is beautiful!! Who wouldn't love it??? I'd be happy to wear that cowl with pride; I still have sweaters my mom knit for me decades ago. In fact, my younger daughter has confiscated one of them and she still gets compliments. 

Perhaps you should show her the picture first and ask if she's interested, before you invest the time and money.


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## Lovinknittin (Apr 2, 2011)

judyr said:


> If you have questions about her taste, I would ask her for preferences. Better to make something she would like and not what you would like. She will be wearing the article and not you.


We all like to surprise but I would advise, since you are concerned, that you show it to her and tell her that you can make this for her if she would like you to do so. I would be thrilled if that were said to me.


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## hildy3 (Jan 29, 2011)

dragonfly7673 said:


> Personally, I've learned that it's better to just ask beforehand. My 18yo son wanted a hat, turns out the style and colors I picked were not what he was thinking of and he probably wouldn't have worn it if I had made it. I let him choose and now he's wearing it all the time.


 :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## DollieD (Mar 7, 2011)

jumbleburt said:


> I would approach it by asking her if she'd like you to make her something first rather than telling her later she doesn't have to keep it if she doesn't like it. That puts her in an awkward position. If she says she'd like something, show her the pattern, and if she doesn't respond enthusiastically, spend some time looking through patterns for something else she'd like. JMHO


Me too! :thumbup:


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## Bod (Nov 11, 2014)

I don't know why not. It would be a shame to waste such a lovely garment.


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## SouthernGirl (Dec 28, 2011)

That is a beautiful cowl. It depends on how well you know your DIL. YOu could ask her if she'd like to choose something for you to knit and give her that as an option.


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## Sedona (Oct 3, 2011)

I agree


jumbleburt said:


> I would approach it by asking her if she'd like you to make her something first rather than telling her later she doesn't have to keep it if she doesn't like it. That puts her in an awkward position. If she says she'd like something, show her the pattern, and if she doesn't respond enthusiastically, spend some time looking through patterns for something else she'd like. JMHO


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## gigi 722 (Oct 25, 2011)

I like it...send it to me and I'll wear it .


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## Woodsywife (Mar 9, 2014)

jumbleburt said:


> Some people (including me) just aren't cowl people. No offense, but I wouldn't wear it, even though I recognize that it is stylish.


I'm the same. I have a short neck and it would make me bustier than i already am. Have seen many of women wearing them when they shouldn't be.


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## hildy3 (Jan 29, 2011)

I always read all replies, but have to get to a meeting, so forgive me if I'm repeating.
I think the new baby deserves a gift of their very own.
Think a few years from now when he/she asks where her first "blankie" is. Every child needs their own keepsake. 
It kinda stabbed me in the heart that this baby gets only hand me downs ...what if it is much small/bigger than previous baby. Please, please make some things for "newbie" and don't forget to give a small gift to other sibling(s). Think about this...no hurt feelings for kiddies and time to ask SD what she would like. Probably baby-sitting
or meals. Remember how tired we got??
Edit! Sorry, baby girl has been born..sorry, I should have checked the first post.
I stick to my feelings..new baby girl deserves some new things. Would you give a friend a scarf instead a new baby gift because she has 4 children? I rest my case...


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## tweeter (Dec 22, 2012)

very pretty


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## antiqueone (Oct 2, 2013)

Ask before. I have three GDs and a GDIL, and they all have tastes that are really divergent. Through the year last year, I managed to ask each of them if there was something they would like knit for Christmas, (thinking Dear God, I hope they don't all say sweaters, etc.) Same with colors. I can't believe how much more relaxed I was with my Christmas knitting this time around, knowing I was making something for them that they had already told me they would like. Cowls, hats, mittens, wrist warmers and headbands, were top of the list.


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## mmccamant (Jul 17, 2011)

How about a blanket for the new baby, so that there's something that was made for her alone? Second children have plenty of hand-me-downs in their lives. Many toddlers end up using a baby blanket as their security blankie.

What hildy3 said.


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## jobailey (Dec 22, 2011)

I would show her the pattern and ask if she would like to have it and what color before I made it!!! Clothing is very personal.


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## bizzyknitter (May 10, 2011)

I picked neutral colors which she seems to prefer. Problem is, she's never been too enthusiastic about anything I've knitted and I'd hate for this to never get worn. 

So why bother wasting your time on someone who feels like this


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## jobailey (Dec 22, 2011)

I would show her the pattern and ask if she would like to have it and what color before I made it!!! Clothing is very personal.


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## dogLVR (Oct 16, 2013)

I love this! I'm not a cowl person however, I would love it!!!!!
And, I also would give her an option to ask for a different item, as it would be a pity if she did not wear such a beautiful gift. She may just love it, I would!


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## dogLVR (Oct 16, 2013)

I love this! I'm not a cowl person however, I would love it!!!!!
And, I also would give her an option to ask for a different item, as it would be a pity if she did not wear such a beautiful gift. She may just love it, I would!


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## demitybaughman (Oct 31, 2014)

jbandsma said:


> I'm never sure if my granddaughters will like what I do for them so I started adding the following to the majority of my gifts...not just to them, but to almost everybody:
> 
> "I don't know if this gift is what you want, if the colors are good or even if you'd like it. However, if any of these things are wrong, please pass it on to someone who would like it and use it. You will not hurt my feelings if you do this. You will not hurt my feelings if you even tell me you did so. You WILL hurt my feelings if you shove it in a closet or drawer and forget about it".


I like this! I always tell people that I only buy or make things that I like so I will GLADLY take the present back if they don't want it.


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## hildy3 (Jan 29, 2011)

mmccamant said:


> How about a blanket for the new baby, so that there's something that was made for her alone? Second children have plenty of hand-me-downs in their lives. Many toddlers end up using a baby blanket as their security blankie.
> 
> What hildy3 said.


Thank you so much! Never seen a security blanket that could be handed down...it's usually only a rag!! I changed the binding on my son's blankie and he screamed like crazy til I discovered it was the binding he really liked. Took a few pieces that were left on old one, sewed on and peace and contentment prevailed. Seems to me the problem is solved...forget the scarf!!!


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## Isuel (Sep 27, 2011)

My daughter told me last time I gifted my project to put a note in saying, "if you don't like it and won't use it please give it to me back."


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## GroodleMom (Feb 27, 2011)

Nittinnut said:


> My StepDaughter just gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. I didn't knit anything for the baby because there's plenty of knitted items from the first daughter (now 20 months). When I saw the 'Foolproof' cowl I felt compelled to knit it for SD as new birth gift.
> http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/foolproof
> 
> I picked neutral colors which she seems to prefer. Problem is, she's never been too enthusiastic about anything I've knitted and I'd hate for this to never get worn.
> ...


If she is never enthusiastic about items you knit for her, she may be one of those people who just dont like handknitted items. There is no point in knitting for those folks, it just creates an uncomfortable situation for both of you.
If you have already knit it, just save for someone who will appreciate it; if not, show her the pattern and yarn and ask her if she would wear it before you knit it.


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## gopher (Mar 28, 2013)

If you already know that she doesn't seem to appreciative of your knitted gifts why not just drop that idea. There are so many other options that you could give for the new baby. There are people that don't like handmade items for whatever reason. You are only setting yourself up for an already known disappointment! What really is your motive for writing this question and/or making her a gift?


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## cbjlinda (May 25, 2011)

I think you already know the answer to your question if she has never been enthusiastic about what you have knit for her why keep torturing yourself. It is not a relection on your knitting " she obviously is not one that cares for home made items. why not just leave it at that and if you want to do something for her get something she enjoys and leave it at that. use your knitting skills for someone who really enjoys them. I don't know about you" but it takes too much of my time to sit and create something for someone who just doesn't appreciate that type of thing.


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## beanscene (Jun 9, 2012)

Nittinnut said:


> My StepDaughter just gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. I didn't knit anything for the baby because there's plenty of knitted items from the first daughter (now 20 months). When I saw the 'Foolproof' cowl I felt compelled to knit it for SD as new birth gift.
> http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/foolproof
> 
> I picked neutral colors which she seems to prefer. Problem is, she's never been too enthusiastic about anything I've knitted and I'd hate for this to never get worn.
> ...


It's hard to know other people's taste but I get loads of compliments when I wear my Foolproof.


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## Marny CA (Jun 26, 2011)

Isuel said:


> My daughter told me last time I gifted my project to put a note in saying, "if you don't like it and won't use it please give it to me back."


I made a crochet ripple afghan for my daughter who I knew loved the denim look.

Well, I showed her a picture when finished and she emailed back that the colors were not to her liking.

I didn't need another afghan and so held onto it. A couple of years later I donated the afghan for a raffle and that made the work all feel better.

I did send my daughter a website so she could choose her own colors or she could go to a knitting store etc. and find the yarn and choose the color(s) she wanted. She wanted only one color so made that and she called to say they loved it!!

Yea. . . my daughter finally liked something I made.


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## Susan Marie (Jul 26, 2013)

I would ask her what she would want, but be sure to show her the cowl. It's beautiful, but I don't wear cowls either.


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## RandyPandy (May 6, 2011)

Before gifting I usually ask about yarn color or show a few styles to choose from. The end result is still a big surprise when completed.


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## KnitterNatalie (Feb 20, 2011)

Nittinnut said:


> My StepDaughter just gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. I didn't knit anything for the baby because there's plenty of knitted items from the first daughter (now 20 months). When I saw the 'Foolproof' cowl I felt compelled to knit it for SD as new birth gift.
> http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/foolproof
> 
> I picked neutral colors which she seems to prefer. Problem is, she's never been too enthusiastic about anything I've knitted and I'd hate for this to never get worn.
> ...


Oh, what a lovely scarf/cowl!! Just purchased the pattern for myself!! May I suggest that you make the scarf for yourself (even if you have to return the yarn for your color preferences)! Allow your SDL to select the knitting project of her choice, and the yarn colors...I think that in this way, she'll feel more appreciative of your efforts!! You can also show her this project, and inquire if this would be her preference. Please let us see the finished project!! Good luck!


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## terry1113 (Jan 22, 2015)

I think it's a great idea , then she can have what she wants...and you can keep the cowl or give it to someone else, in my opinion. ..


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## ChristmasTree (Nov 28, 2011)

Does she wear cowls? It's beautiful and it could be made in her favorite colors but if she doesn't wear cowls she may not wear it. If you knit it, keep 2 recipients in mind so you won't be hurt if she returns it to you. Then you can smile and say, "I know just the person I can give it to." 
I think I would knit a blanket for the baby so he/she can have one that was made especially for them. When my kids were born I wasn't knitting and I treasured the knitted or crocheted blankets we received and still have them. I plan to give them to the kids (hopefully I will remember which one belongs to them!)

I love your avatar. Can you share the pattern, it's similar to the cowl...or is it the cowl? thanks


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## Nilzavg (Dec 10, 2014)

Nittinnut said:


> My StepDaughter just gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. I didn't knit anything for the baby because there's plenty of knitted items from the first daughter (now 20 months). When I saw the 'Foolproof' cowl I felt compelled to knit it for SD as new birth gift.
> http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/foolproof
> 
> I picked neutral colors which she seems to prefer. Problem is, she's never been too enthusiastic about anything I've knitted and I'd hate for this to never get worn.
> ...


I would simply tell her that you are making something for her and you'd like to show her what it looks like and if she doesn't like it then you two could try and pick something she would like.


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## bakrmom (May 30, 2011)

I guess i'm in the minority here, but I would first knit something for the new baby. Every baby needs something "new" that they can claim as their own later down the road.
Then, if you still want to make the cowl, mention you saw this pattern and thought of her(SD). Ask if she would like one and in what color. she may be thrilled at the offer or say thanks for the thought but it's not my style. Why set yourself up for possible disappointment.


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## cookie68 (May 5, 2012)

jumbleburt said:


> Some people (including me) just aren't cowl people. No offense, but I wouldn't wear it, even though I recognize that it is stylish.


I have made many for gifts, but I will not wear one. Looks terrible on me.


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## Chemchic (Dec 16, 2012)

I do it all the time!! because I don't know exactly what people like to wear sometimes (and they are family!) and I tell them I'd rather make/give you something that you will wear vs. giving them something that they won't wear! I do this especially with my mother, who I'm knitting for all the time. But of course, she loves my stuff  but some of the items that I get a bug to knit, she might not use (like cowls! which I use all the time!!).


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## nannee (Mar 12, 2011)

dragonfly7673 said:


> Personally, I've learned that it's better to just ask beforehand.


It saves a lot of hurt feelings a lot of time knitting something someone doesn't want or like and people feeling awkward
:thumbup:


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## ELareau (Nov 4, 2012)

My opinion would be to knit something for the baby. Yes, there are plenty of 'hand-me-downs' but a blanket will be something that is just hers that she will cherish all her life.

I would be against the cowl - I know they're stylish but I don't care for them. In a year or so when they're no longer stylish they'll all be in the goodwill bag.


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## taborhills (Sep 8, 2012)

annweb said:


> I gave a girl a hat and said I know you like the colour but if you don't think you would wear it I am quite happy to take it for someone else .This didn't cause any offence .


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## taborhills (Sep 8, 2012)

Thanks so much for connecting us to this marvelous pattern, one I have already ordered and I know will use often.


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## MistyBabe (May 16, 2011)

I know you said you made a lot of things for the first baby. But I would have something for the second baby to show that baby is special in your heart as well.
And I think your question about the cowl would be perfectly acceptable.


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## gardening pat (May 15, 2014)

Both my SD and SS wife have recently had babies, for both I asked if they wanted me to knit anything for them. neither seemed interested so I didn't bother. I keep knitting for my god daughter who likes what I produce!


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## gardening pat (May 15, 2014)

Both my step D and the wife of my Step son have recently had babies. I asked both if they wanted me to knit for them, neither did so I keep knitting for my god daughter who likes what I produce.


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## Nittinnut (Jan 10, 2014)

I did email her the picture of it yesterday. She replied, "I Love It!!!" She still doesn't know I'm knitting it for her but at least now I know theoretically that she will probably love it.

Thanks for all the wonderful advice :~)


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## Ginny K (Jun 1, 2011)

That seems fine. No one gets hurt.


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## auntycarol (Mar 24, 2012)

jumbleburt said:


> I would approach it by asking her if she'd like you to make her something first rather than telling her later she doesn't have to keep it if she doesn't like it. That puts her in an awkward position. If she says she'd like something, show her the pattern, and if she doesn't respond enthusiastically, spend some time looking through patterns for something else she'd like. JMHO


I agree with this suggestion


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## beanscene (Jun 9, 2012)

Nittinnut said:


> I did email her the picture of it yesterday. She replied, "I Love It!!!" She still doesn't know I'm knitting it for her but at least now I know theoretically that she will probably love it.
> 
> Thanks for all the wonderful advice :~)


What colours have you chosen? My 1st one (for me) was navy blue and pale pink and the one I am knitting now, requested by a friend, is black and purple. 
It's a lovely pattern.


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## kiwifrau (Jan 2, 2013)

dragonfly7673 said:


> Personally, I've learned that it's better to just ask beforehand. My 18yo son wanted a hat, turns out the style and colors I picked were not what he was thinking of and he probably wouldn't have worn it if I had made it. I let him choose and now he's wearing it all the time.


Agree with dragonfly, ask first and let her select the colors, she might prefer something really bright for the winter dreary months.


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## Ask4j (May 21, 2011)

We've had this discussion many times and ends up being many many pages of discussion from frustration to anger. I for one do not, I repeat, do not knit anything for anyone--ever again. We put our hearts into our work and think loving things of the person it is for only to get a very cold reception and never seeing the item worn. NEVER AGAIN!

Okay, one exception--my son. He at least appreciates everything I do for him whether is something I made by hand or cooked or baked. He loves his lefsa!


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## Ask4j (May 21, 2011)

kiwifrau said:


> Agree with dragonfly, ask first and let her select the colors, she might prefer something really bright for the winter dreary months.


I did this with a close friend--she knew I paid a lot for the yarn and she picked the color. There was a very flat thank you and when asked if she has worn this patterned shawl that took me over a month to knit and meant to be worn like a scarf, she flatly replied she wears it in bed while reading a book. In other words she refuses to wear it in public.


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## Tina5551 (Dec 5, 2013)

Nittinnut said:


> My StepDaughter just gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. I didn't knit anything for the baby because there's plenty of knitted items from the first daughter (now 20 months). When I saw the 'Foolproof' cowl I felt compelled to knit it for SD as new birth gift.
> http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/foolproof
> 
> I picked neutral colors which she seems to prefer. Problem is, she's never been too enthusiastic about anything I've knitted and I'd hate for this to never get worn.
> ...


My daughter is the same way, so I finally just said if there is anything you would like me to knit for you or my grandson, just ask and I'll be happy to do it. Well she hasn't asked for anything yet lol.


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## Bod (Nov 11, 2014)

I'm with you. I knit my GD two sweaters when she was in college and never saw her water them. Now I knit only for myself. Exception, prayer shawls.


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## GemsByGranny (Dec 7, 2012)

Nittinnut said:


> My StepDaughter just gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. I didn't knit anything for the baby because there's plenty of knitted items from the first daughter (now 20 months). When I saw the 'Foolproof' cowl I felt compelled to knit it for SD as new birth gift.
> http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/foolproof
> 
> I picked neutral colors which she seems to prefer. Problem is, she's never been too enthusiastic about anything I've knitted and I'd hate for this to never get worn.
> ...


Maybe show her a picture and ask before you give it to her? I'd probably go so far as to ask her before I make it, unless there is another use you could have for it if she doesn't want it. I wouldn't give it to her in case she just takes it (being polite??) and stuffs it into the back of a cupboard.

I just started a sleeping bag for my new, soon-expected grand-baby. I asked my daughter-in-law what she wanted and she said a sleeping bag would be really helpful. We can now get excited together as it grows, and discuss how the neckline will be, etc. (I have to say, that I get on well with my DIL. I'd say we're good friends).


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## GemsByGranny (Dec 7, 2012)

jbandsma said:


> I'm never sure if my granddaughters will like what I do for them so I started adding the following to the majority of my gifts...not just to them, but to almost everybody:
> 
> "I don't know if this gift is what you want, if the colors are good or even if you'd like it. However, if any of these things are wrong, please pass it on to someone who would like it and use it. You will not hurt my feelings if you do this. You will not hurt my feelings if you even tell me you did so. You WILL hurt my feelings if you shove it in a closet or drawer and forget about it".


I like that.


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## past (Apr 3, 2011)

That's a beautiful cowl and the way it's designed she can use it when nursing the baby as a cover up. I made my daughter a nursing shawl when she had my grandson. Not sure if she ever has used it, but it's there for her. We don't live close enough and only see the kids 2 or 3 times a year. The shawl was draped over the back of the couch when we were there last spring. Didn't ask whether she uses all the time or was just pulled out because we were visiting.


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## Elin (Sep 17, 2011)

Why not do something nice for yourself and keep it. It's beautiful.


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## Alpaca Farmer (Jan 19, 2011)

jumbleburt said:


> Some people (including me) just aren't cowl people. No offense, but I wouldn't wear it, even though I recognize that it is stylish.


Me too! I would ask her before making it and maybe give her a choice of patterns/colors.


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## SAMkewel (Mar 5, 2011)

jumbleburt said:


> Some people (including me) just aren't cowl people. No offense, but I wouldn't wear it, even though I recognize that it is stylish.


I agree 100% with both of your comments. I wouldn't go to the work of making something I love for someone else who may have entirely different preferences, plus, some don't care for knitted anything. It's setting you both up for potential disaster.


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## Nittinnut (Jan 10, 2014)

beanscene said:


> What colours have you chosen? My 1st one (for me) was navy blue and pale pink and the one I am knitting now, requested by a friend, is black and purple.
> It's a lovely pattern.


See the details on Ravelry. I haven't blocked yet but you can see the finished work.

http://www.ravelry.com/projects/nittinnut/foolproof


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## SAMkewel (Mar 5, 2011)

Grapejelli said:


> Cowls are so much the "in thing" right now. I can't imagine her not liking one.


Some folks, like me for instance, really don't care what the "in thing" is right now or any other time, so it has no bearing on their likes or dislikes. It seems to me like playing hopscotch in a minefield to try to gift someone with what I like instead of what they like. The idea of spending all that time and effort trying to please someone without any input from them seems like setting two people up for major disappointment.

By the way, I think your choice is beautiful and your work stunning. However, that's me and you, not her.


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## valmac (Nov 22, 2012)

Sorry, but if I had the slightest doubt that she wouldn't like/wear an item which looks as though it will take time and effort to knit, I wouldn't do it - it's a beautiful cowl, knit it for someone who will love it!


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## valmac (Nov 22, 2012)

Bod said:


> I'm with you. I knit my GD two sweaters when she was in college and never saw her water them. Now I knit only for myself. Exception, prayer shawls.


So, if you water a sweater, does it grow?? Sorry, not making fun of your typo - it just put a picture in my mind and made me smile! Please don't be offended.


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## Nittinnut (Jan 10, 2014)

valmac said:


> So, if you water a sweater, does it grow?? Sorry, not making fun of your typo - it just put a picture in my mind and made me smile! Please don't be offended.


Darn spell check


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## valmac (Nov 22, 2012)

Nittinnut said:


> Darn spell check


But some of them are amusing!


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## KateLyn11 (Jul 19, 2014)

I'm in the ask before you give camp. Tell her you would like to make something for HER and were thinking of this cowl, show her a picture, mention colors you were thinking of and ask her if she would like that or if something else is more to her taste. That gives her the option of changing any parameters or telling you that she would rather not have a knit item.


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## Cru (May 18, 2013)

jumbleburt said:


> Some people (including me) just aren't cowl people. No offense, but I wouldn't wear it, even though I recognize that it is stylish.


Same here. I wear scarves all the time, but usually silk. Cant imagine wearing the big bulky cowls that are 'in' today.


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## ireneofnc (Aug 15, 2011)

I agree with Pocahontas, just give the gift to her. If you never seen her wear it, then lesson learned! It's better to give than to receive, so there you go. It's her loss if she won't wear it!


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## Becca (Jan 26, 2011)

The pattern is beautiful. Show it to her and ask what colors she fancies. If she dithers about color you know she is not interested. I certainly would be interested in something this beautiful. Hope she likes it. You could always make it out of a lighter weight yarn and larger needles to make it more airy.


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## SAMkewel (Mar 5, 2011)

In the final analysis, it's your decision, but I'd love to hear what you decide and how it works out. I'm always willing to learn :~).


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## KateLyn11 (Jul 19, 2014)

The problem in not talking to the recipient is that you don't know why they don't like it/ don't wear it. I love the color purple, someone shopping with me might conclude I would love a lavender blouse. But while I love to see the color, if I wear it I look jaundiced. I have a grey turtleneck blouse, that I love but two hours into wearing it, my throat itches to the point I can't wait to get out of it. Unless someone has made negative comments about handmade gifts in general. just because one item was coolly received doesn't mean all will be, it just may mean that that one gift didn't suit the recipient due to any of a number of factors, size, color, style, fit. Quite frankly if someone made me a hat and scarf set in lavender, I would thank them profusely, wear it a couple of times when I was with them then put it away, hoping to find a non-hurtful way to say I don't wear lavender before they made me anything else.


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## Jean williams (Nov 11, 2014)

Think I would consider your "how do you get along with her." If it's good then make the offer to take it back. If the relationship is "iffy," I would give it to her with just a comment like..."wear and enjoy." With her just having a baby, she could be on an emotional roller coaster. Please let us know how this plays out.


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## beanscene (Jun 9, 2012)

Nittinnut said:


> See the details on Ravelry. I haven't blocked yet but you can see the finished work.
> 
> http://www.ravelry.com/projects/nittinnut/foolproof


This is the one I made for me.


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## Farmwoman (Jul 2, 2014)

Nittinnut- I think it would be fair to include that note. It's only fair to not waste your yarn and hard work. Congratulations on the new grand daughter! Good luck! Please let us know how it works out! 
: )


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## Lulu2 (Jun 21, 2013)

Nittinnut said:


> My StepDaughter just gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. I didn't knit anything for the baby because there's plenty of knitted items from the first daughter (now 20 months). When I saw the 'Foolproof' cowl I felt compelled to knit it for SD as new birth gift.
> http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/foolproof
> 
> I picked neutral colors which she seems to prefer. Problem is, she's never been too enthusiastic about anything I've knitted and I'd hate for this to never get worn.
> ...


I just knitted my 17 yr old GD 5 cowls. Different colors and styles. She lives in another US State from me. So I had to mail them to her. I sent them with a note that said if there was some cowls she didn't like and one of her friends liked it to please give it to them. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. What one person dislikes another might love. I would not give Handmade gifts to anyone, friend or family, who appears to not care for handmade stuff. Your setting yourself up for your feelings to be hurt. My GD loves crochet or knit anything. My daughter doesn't so I never make her anything.


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## 4578 (Feb 2, 2011)

Nittinnut said:


> My StepDaughter just gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. I didn't knit anything for the baby because there's plenty of knitted items from the first daughter (now 20 months). When I saw the 'Foolproof' cowl I felt compelled to knit it for SD as new birth gift.
> http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/foolproof
> 
> I picked neutral colors which she seems to prefer. Problem is, she's never been too enthusiastic about anything I've knitted and I'd hate for this to never get worn.
> ...


Is that something you would say if you gifted your SD a blouse (for example) that was ready made? Is it something that if said to you along with a gift, you would respond positively to? Could you knit the baby a toy?


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## Prayz (Jul 17, 2011)

I think that is good to ask. I have done that the asked how it was. After talking I told her to give the gift back, I knitted something else and all is well. 

I gave a beautiful shawl away and the person wore it one time and told me she keeps it in the car in case someone gets cold. (her grandmother who lives out of state) so it's not used. If I had known she was not a shawl person I would have kept it and made something she would enjoy. That's why I ask.

I would rather give something that will be used, I also believe in re gifting. I don't have a problem with that.


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## Nittinnut (Jan 10, 2014)

Beanscene:
very beautiful. Is that navy and pale pink?


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