# my knitting kept me off of executive board



## marimom (Aug 27, 2011)

I just had to vent about this. I am on the Board of a prestigious nonprofit agency and I requested a position on the Executive Board. Now I have been knitting small projects at meetings for years and years and no one has complained. Needless to say, I was not put on the EB and when I said something to the head of the Board, I was told that there was one negative comment - my knitting was a distraction to one person.
I just said "Why didn't the person say something to me and I would have either stopped knitting or sat far, far away from whomever?" 
Really upset me as I have been a good contributer at all meetings and in committees.
What should I do now? Resign from the Board? Stop knitting at meetings (although the damage is already done)?
Anyway, I am really upset about this. Anyone else have this experience.
What would you do?


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## Irish knitter (Mar 29, 2011)

I have one word to say.....Discrimination!!!


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## nrc1940 (Mar 24, 2012)

This is just my opinion so take it with a grain of salt, but I certainly would not give up knitting to please one person. I can't wrap my mind around how knitting could be distracting. Maybe I've been knitting so long that I can't see the other side of the equation.


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## marimom (Aug 27, 2011)

Interesting thought. What to do about it?



Irish knitter said:


> I have one word to say.....Discrimination!!!


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## Kathleen218 (Feb 2, 2011)

Just my opinion....I've been at meetings where someone was knitting and felt they were not giving their full attention to the matter at hand for the meeting, so that was a distraction for me. Most meetings ran 1-1-1/2 hrs, I would have appreciated the full attention of the attendees....as I said just my opinion.


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## smbrnnha (Oct 24, 2011)

First of all, how can one person keep you off the Board? Does not sound fair at all! Second, it sounds as though this is their loss!! I see you are a gerontologist. I am an RN and retired last year after 31 years working with the elderly. Coincidentally I am in Tucson visiting for just a few days. No news to you, it is hot here!!


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## Rosette (Oct 7, 2011)

Difficult. Perhaps the fact that you were knitting made someone think you were being less than professional or may be not concentrating fully? Some people can be very judgemental of others. Don't over think it, just make your decision and then forget the comment. Good luck.


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## CBratt (Dec 6, 2012)

I personally cannot concentrate on my knitting AND take in whatever else is going on around me so I would not be knitting at board meetings, during work hours, in church, etc.

For folks who do not knit and never have, I can see how they would think it inappropriate to knit at a committee meeting and I guess it could be a distraction. 

Just my humble opinion and not meant to offend anyone!


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## MartiG (Jan 21, 2012)

Maybe a letter to the board stating just what you said in your initial post, that you are a valuable contributer and what a waste it would be to lose you when the "distracted" person could just have told you in private and you could have dealt with the situation on that level. By the way, podcaster Heather Ordover of the "Craftlit" podcast has published a paper on how working on something like knitting while attending meetings actually positively impacts the knitters attention to the discussion at hand.


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## flhusker (Feb 17, 2011)

Sound like discrimination and some plain old jealousy. How can one person hold that much power?


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## lazbones (Oct 21, 2013)

You are there to serve on a board, not to knit. You cannot have your FULL attention on the issues at hand while you are knitting.


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## Dcsmith77 (Apr 18, 2011)

I would expect anyone who is serving on an executive level board meeting to devote full attention to the business at hand. It's not the knitting, exactly, it's doing anything but paying strict attention to the discussion. I would say the same about someone whittling - I don't even admire doodling during business times, although sometimes this may be actually taking notes and not doodling. Volunteer to be the secretary of the board and you won't have to knit to be entertained. People are usually desperate for a good secretary to take minutes.


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## Maryhm (Oct 11, 2012)

Kathleen218 said:


> Just my opinion....I've been at meetings where someone was knitting and felt they were not giving their full attention to the matter at hand for the meeting, so that was a distraction for me. Most meetings ran 1-1-1/2 hrs, I would have appreciated the full attention of the attendees....as I said just my opinion.


I'm not sure how someone not giving their full attention to the subject would distract you if you were giving the event your full attention. It's a sign of the times that people feel they have the right to dictate the lives of others.


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## ChristmasTree (Nov 28, 2011)

MartiG said:


> Maybe a letter to the board stating just what you said in your initial post, that you are a valuable contributer and what a waste it would be to lose you when the "distracted" person could just have told you in private and you could have dealt with the situation on that level. By the way, podcaster Heather Ordover of the "Craftlit" podcast has published a paper on how working on something like knitting while attending meetings actually positively impacts the knitters attention to the discussion at hand.


 :thumbup: :thumbup: Knitting a simple project helps keep me focused. I don't knit at church but that's about the only place. Perhaps the distracted person would like to learn to knit!


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## Moe C (Jul 31, 2011)

I agree with the posters who said knitting at meetings conveys the impression of not being fully involved. It's unprofessional and perhaps even a bit rude, imo. What kind of hobbies are allowable and which ones not? 

Long ago, when I worked in a big office my immediate boss told me it was ok to knit at my desk when my work was done. One day the big boss walked through the office and that was the end of the knitting.


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## bevqual (May 9, 2011)

I think you need to write down the PROS of staying, and the CONS of staying and go from there.

How badly do you really want to keep volunteering with people are not going to even mention they have a distraction problem. Maybe knit them a 'SQUIRREL' and give it to them at the next meeting?


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## marimom (Aug 27, 2011)

You hit it on the nail. Knitting does help me concentrate on the topic. I am ADD and can get quite distracted just by listening to people without doing something with my hands. I have been knitting for over 50 years and so it is quite simple for me to be attentive to the question at hand and, as I said, I do participate in discussions unlike a lot of Board members.



MartiG said:


> Maybe a letter to the board stating just what you said in your initial post, that you are a valuable contributer and what a waste it would be to lose you when the "distracted" person could just have told you in private and you could have dealt with the situation on that level. By the way, podcaster Heather Ordover of the "Craftlit" podcast has published a paper on how working on something like knitting while attending meetings actually positively impacts the knitters attention to the discussion at hand.


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## PRIN4 (May 7, 2013)

marimom said:


> I just had to vent about this. I am on the Board of a prestigious nonprofit agency and I requested a position on the Executive Board. Now I have been knitting small projects at meetings for years and years and no one has complained. Needless to say, I was not put on the EB and when I said something to the head of the Board, I was told that there was one negative comment - my knitting was a distraction to one person.
> I just said "Why didn't the person say something to me and I would have either stopped knitting or sat far, far away from whomever?"
> Really upset me as I have been a good contributer at all meetings and in committees.
> What should I do now? Resign from the Board? Stop knitting at meetings (although the damage is already done)?
> ...


This is a tough situation. When my supervisor, many years ago, told me that I wasn't paying attention at a meeting because I had been knitting, I politely showed him the copious notes I had taken and reminded that I had also participated actively in the discussion. I then asked him to review the notes of others to see how mine compared. He didn't. I think on his part is was a personal bias of his. I personally find little difference between those who are doodling in a meeting or presentation and my knitting in the same situation. However, those in charge do have the right to make decisions based on those biases as well as on their own informed or semi-informed information. It sounds as if in not choosing you, they lost out on a great volunteer who showed a lot of ability and who could also multi-task. Totally their loss, so I guess the rest is up to you - give up on one thing you love - knitting during the meeting OR serving the cause for you which you are volunteering - OR continuing to serve at the level you currently are and know they lost out on a winner OR moving your very valuable energy to another important cause. P.S. I wound up rising much higher in my job than that supervisor did. Knitting didn't hold me back again. In fact, in most meetings, folks would ask what I was working on that day or night. I am sorry you had to go through this. Their loss.


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## marimom (Aug 27, 2011)

Thank you all for your comments. Lots of thought provoking ideas.


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## Jules934 (May 7, 2013)

You are obviously dealing with a group that will "discard" someone for a trivial reason. This is probably the tip of the iceberg. Perhaps you are better off without them.

Yes, it hurts. But it is their loss.


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## inishowen (May 28, 2011)

I'm afraid it looks unprofessional to knit at a meeting. Where does it end? Would some people like to play mindless games on their phones at a meeting? I don't think so.


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## seamer45 (Jan 18, 2011)

I have one word to say "Bogus". Obviously something else is a roadblock or more than one person is bothered by your knitting. I can see where folks would assume your attention is not on the meeting. But the reason you were given was to save face for the person you asked.
Who knows, maybe they don't like the way you part your hair.


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## Pocahontas (Apr 15, 2011)

CBratt said:


> I personally cannot concentrate on my knitting AND take in whatever else is going on around me so I would not be knitting at board meetings, during work hours, in church, etc.
> 
> For folks who do not knit and never have, I can see how they would think it inappropriate to knit at a committee meeting and I guess it could be a distraction.
> 
> Just my humble opinion and not meant to offend anyone!


I have to agree with this. I love knitting but I am one of those who doesn't believe it belongs in church services, meetings or social occasions where others are not knitting. I am distracted by many things ie: someone fiddling with her I-phone, flipping pages, clicking ballpoint pens, people murmuring while the speaker is talking, etc, etc.
While you were told of ONE person complaining, there may have been MANY who were distracted who didn't complain.
Knitting just doesn't exude professionalism. JMO and don't intend to offend.


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## Jalsh (Aug 6, 2012)

Maryhm said:


> I'm not sure how someone not giving their full attention to the subject would distract you if you were giving the event your full attention. It's a sign of the times that people feel they have the right to dictate the lives of others.


O. K. So now we can play Candy Crush on our phone during a meeting??? Same difference.


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## Jalsh (Aug 6, 2012)

Pocahontas said:


> I have to agree with this. I love knitting but I am one of those who doesn't believe it belongs in church services, meetings or social occasions where others are not knitting. I am distracted by many things ie: someone fiddling with her I-phone, flipping pages, clicking ballpoint pens, people murmuring while the speaker is talking, etc, etc.
> While you were told of ONE person complaining, there may have been MANY who were distracted who didn't complain.
> Knitting just doesn't exude professionalism. JMO and don't intend to offend.


 :thumbup:


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## Knitcrazydeborah (Oct 25, 2011)

Sadly, although I knit EVERYWHERE except Church....
I have to side with the "not professional" group here. 

Knitting helps me to focus. I have knit while listening to complex quantum physics lectures and honestly believe that knitting helps me to soak up more information.
And just ask my DH how many times he has to ask me what just happened when we watch a TV program. Me with my head often down...I always know what was going on. 

So while I'm certain that knitting helps me to focus...I'm pretty certain that anyone who DOES NOT KNIT will automatically believe that you could not possibly even be listening to what's happening.


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## trish2222 (May 13, 2012)

Knitcrazydeborah said:


> So while I'm certain that knitting helps me to focus...I'm pretty certain that anyone who DOES NOT KNIT will automatically believe that you could not possibly even be listening to what's happening.


I think you've hit the nail square on the head


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## BethChaya (May 6, 2011)

I am the co-founder of a non-profit. I knit at board meetings when I have a project that needs to be completed. I also knit at Bible Study or other meetings. It is discrimination to be kept off a board for no other reason


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## scumbugusa (Oct 10, 2011)

This sounds like a lame reason for not advancing you on. I can see that your total attention could have been seen as not being fully committed to the topic/s discussed.

Whom ever was the distracted person should have spoken up sooner, but then cowards are afraid to speak up and sneak up and hit you from behind


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## J.Carol (Dec 1, 2013)

Maybe the person that told you someone has complained about your knitting is really the person complaining. He/she is just making it look like someone else has complained. I would either stop knitting or just resign. Looks like there is something going on behind your back.


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## Raybo (Mar 12, 2011)

Jalsh said:


> O. K. So now we can play Candy Crush on our phone during a meeting??? Same difference.


Some people do :thumbdown:


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## Raybo (Mar 12, 2011)

marimom said:


> Really upset me as I have been a good contributer at all meetings and in committees.
> What should I do now? Resign from the Board? Stop knitting at meetings (although the damage is already done)?
> Anyway, I am really upset about this. Anyone else have this experience.
> What would you do?


It's their loss, but it sounds bogus to me. If your knitting was distracting some one that person had the responsibility to say something at the time. Only you can decide what value you receive from your present position and whether it's worth staying.


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## Crochetnknit (Apr 10, 2013)

inishowen said:


> I'm afraid it looks unprofessional to knit at a meeting. Where does it end? Would some people like to play mindless games on their phones at a meeting? I don't think so.


Sad to say, I've been at many meetings when people were doing just that! Try watching people in similar situations...most of them have their phones in hand.


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## Granny2005 (Feb 20, 2014)

Kathleen218 said:


> Just my opinion....I've been at meetings where someone was knitting and felt they were not giving their full attention to the matter at hand for the meeting, so that was a distraction for me. Most meetings ran 1-1-1/2 hrs, I would have appreciated the full attention of the attendees....as I said just my opinion.


Knitting helps me to focus. I get much more out of meetings when I can knit. If I have to take notes I miss everything. Depends on the person.

Don't give up on either.


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## KnitterNatalie (Feb 20, 2011)

nrc1940 said:


> This is just my opinion so take it with a grain of salt, but I certainly would not give up knitting to please one person. I can't wrap my mind around how knitting could be distracting. Maybe I've been knitting so long that I can't see the other side of the equation.


The question from the EB to this person who was so distracted should have been why didn't THIS PERSON move to a different seat/sit on the front row of seats so as not to be distracted by anything?? Definitely DO NOT give up your knitting...just sit in the back, and continue to be the generous person that you are! Happy Knitting!


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## Casey47 (Feb 5, 2014)

I agree that it is not professional to knit at meetings for all the reasons other posters have mentioned. What bothers me is ** why didn't anybody ask you not to knit at meetings and why were you allowed you to continue to serve on the board. If they allowed your continued service it would follow that they were pleased with your service. If they were pleased with your service it follows that YOU were obviously NOT distracted because of your knitting. If somebody else was distracted by your knitting **
Repeat from ** to ** until you have an answer. And I would seriously ask them.


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## dragontearsoflove (Apr 3, 2011)

Keep knitting, teach the distracted person how to knit...once the EB is full of knitters, you're a shoe-in;-)


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## christine 47 (Oct 7, 2011)

This again is where we differ as countries, here it would be frowned upon if anyone took knitting to a meeting and considered very unprofessional, I certainly wouldn't do it and I've never seen anyone do it. There's a time and place for everything and knitting in a Board Meeting is a no no.


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## Casey47 (Feb 5, 2014)

christine 47 said:


> This again is where we differ as countries, here it would be frowned upon if anyone took knitting to a meeting and considered very unprofessional, I certainly wouldn't do it and I've never seen anyone do it. There's a time and place for everything and knitting in a Board Meeting is a no no.


It is not an acceptable practice here in the US either.


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## katyas01 (Nov 24, 2011)

I think you should have a right to be told who complained about it. I really think it was terribly petty to complain about something that was not articulated to you personally. I would NOT; however, drop out or resign. Was there another person who wanted the position? Maybe that person should not have it because they are too easily distracted. Jusst wondering. Whatever you do, stand tall and hold your head high and do not let them think they have broken your spirit.


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## katyas01 (Nov 24, 2011)

I think you should have a right to be told who complained about it. I really think it was terribly petty to complain about something that was not articulated to you personally. I would NOT; however, drop out or resign. Was there another person who wanted the position? Maybe that person should not have it because they are too easily distracted. Jusst wondering. Whatever you do, stand tall and hold your head high and do not let them think they have broken your spirit.


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## taborhills (Sep 8, 2012)

Dcsmith77 said:


> I would expect anyone who is serving on an executive level board meeting to devote full attention to the business at hand. It's not the knitting, exactly, it's doing anything but paying strict attention to the discussion. I would say the same about someone whittling - I don't even admire doodling during business times, although sometimes this may be actually taking notes and not doodling. Volunteer to be the secretary of the board and you won't have to knit to be entertained. People are usually desperate for a good secretary to take minutes.


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## AmyKnits (Aug 20, 2011)

Kathleen218 said:


> Just my opinion....I've been at meetings where someone was knitting and felt they were not giving their full attention to the matter at hand for the meeting, so that was a distraction for me. Most meetings ran 1-1-1/2 hrs, I would have appreciated the full attention of the attendees....as I said just my opinion.


I agree. I would never knit at a meeting... I know I can knit and pay attention/contribute, but others who do not knit do not understand this... To them it looks as though you are not interested/not paying attention/don't care enough to give the subject your 100%.

I would accept this as an opportunity to learn that it may seem rude to others that you are not giving the speaker/subject your undivided attention. This is the same reason I would not knit in church.... It sends the message to others that you aren't listening to the pastor and don't care enough to give your full attention.

It is the same as people who are constantly typing on their cell phones during meetings.... They MAY be able to pay attention, but it is still rude behavior to most people.... Just my opinion, but if I was conducting the meeting, I would expect full attention.... I would not want someone knitting OR typing on their cell phone.


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## AmyKnits (Aug 20, 2011)

christine 47 said:


> This again is where we differ as countries, here it would be frowned upon if anyone took knitting to a meeting and considered very unprofessional, I certainly wouldn't do it and I've never seen anyone do it. There's a time and place for everything and knitting in a Board Meeting is a no no.


It is frowned upon here as well... I am guessing only ONE person VOICED their concern/complaint, but I would guess the majority of the others FEEL the same way.....


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## sewcranky (Dec 2, 2013)

I've been knitting for 50 years and I agree that seeing someone knitting at a meeting is a distraction. I have seen it at church and even at the movie theater and find it annoying. People wouldn't sit and read or play Candy Crush at meetings so why knit. It is a hobby and should be done on your free time. Just my opinion.


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## sewcranky (Dec 2, 2013)

I've been knitting for 50 years and I agree that seeing someone knitting at a meeting is a distraction. I have seen it at church and even at the movie theater and find it annoying. People wouldn't sit and read or play Candy Crush at meetings so why knit. It is a hobby and should be done on your free time. Just my opinion.


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## tricotmonique (Dec 2, 2011)

There are other behaviours that can be annoying in meetings i.e. reading not related materials, proofreading materials, check emails, doodle, checking agenda. But as you know, people don't complain as they may for knitting. 

Few strategies I have used to knit or not in meeting:
- ask permission to the members, 
- knit something very simple. 
- be very involved by taking good notes and contributing to the discussion. 
- make pauses.


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## dylansnana (Feb 11, 2011)

In MHO I do not believe knitting should be done in a meeting or church. I do believe they should have said something to you and then reconsidered you for the board. However, even though this is a volunteer position it is still a business. If you worked for any other company, I am sure you would not be able to knit. Big business requires your undivided attention. I use knitting for stress relief, believe me I would love to be able to knit at work.


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## cableaway (Aug 1, 2013)

I agree that there is a time and place for everything and meetings are not a place to knit. Just my opinion.


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## hen (Jun 30, 2012)

Personally, I wouldn't knit at any professional meeting, whether it helped my concentration or not.

It is STILL hard enough for women to get on and rise in the world of business.... without the difficulty of trying to change opinions, especially if you want to be taken seriously. And is making a stand about knitting the best way to advance business?

Knitting is a leisure activity, although addictive. 
And this is just a personal opinion and not designed to offend....
If a man (or woman) enjoyed woodworking/woodturning, you wouldn't expect him or her to bring in his tools and kit during a board meeting.


When I was writing that last sentence, I had to go back and alter it so that it was unisex. Sign of the times or politically correct. We spend a lot of our time (rightly) trying not to offend or discriminate.

I am sorry that you have had the disappointment of not being able to get on the Executive board Marimom. You have a lot to offer.... and any Executive Board would be lucky to have you, but would you be prepared to give up the knitting?


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## yyfish (Apr 29, 2014)

There's a time and place for everything.


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## owlet (Aug 18, 2013)

christine 47 said:


> This again is where we differ as countries, here it would be frowned upon if anyone took knitting to a meeting and considered very unprofessional, I certainly wouldn't do it and I've never seen anyone do it. There's a time and place for everything and knitting in a Board Meeting is a no no.


Completely agree.

:thumbup: :thumbup:


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## flohel (Jan 24, 2011)

I agree with Kathleen218. Knitting is something to do on your own time. Personally I would never consider taking my knitting to meetings.


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## pengwensgranny (Aug 3, 2011)

There are many people who find the continuous movement of the arms distracting. People with vision problems can get some serious consequences from the distraction of continuous movement in their eye line - eg migraines etc.

I have to admit that as children we were always told that it is bad manners to do anything, including knitting or sewing, that takes the full attention away from what is going on, be it visiting family, meetings etc. 

My own opinion is that meetings are not the place to knit. Attention should be given to what is going on and making notes of decisions.


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## Knitter forever (Dec 11, 2011)

There s a time,and place for knitting. Sometimes you just have to put the needles down.


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## Tigerwiggy (Apr 24, 2013)

I think that it might help the knitter focus, but it would be a distraction for others. 

I would associate executive with professional - in appearance, actions, and attitude.


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## Cocoa (Jul 23, 2012)

I served on the board of a prestigious non-profit organization as well. Over the years I served in several capacities including board President. From my perspective having someone knitting during a business meeting is unprofessional as well as distracting. Whether or not it is true, the impression is they are not fully engaged in the business of the meeting. Knitting during this type of meeting is not the same as waiting in a doctor's office or at the hair dressers.


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## carol taylor (Jan 10, 2012)

No, I have not had this experience but I would rather have someone next to me knitting anytime than someone texting or playing games on their phone.
I have been in theaters where I have had to sit next to that annoyance. The light annoys me and the fidgeting by the person all during a performance is a huge distraction. I have never been bothered by a silent knitter.


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## cathy73 (Apr 8, 2013)

I personally feel knitting is not a distraction. For me, knitting helps me concentrate. Unless I am working a complicated pattern that requires careful counting, knitting helps me focus on things better. My husband is a pastor and I asked him if it would bother him if I knit during his sermons. He said he didn't mind at all and that he could tell if his message was getting really interesting because when it was, I knit faster and faster. I don't don't usually actually knit in church, (except at meetings) because my knitting does seem to distract a few people who would rather watch me than listen to him!


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## Oldesttm (Jul 4, 2012)

Retired...but knit for many years in meetings and at conferences...even when I was on a panel (under the table, with plastic circular needles on either a charity blanket or top down baby sweater that I did not need to look at.) I can tell you that I paid more attention, looked more people in the eye contributed more, than those who were daydreaming, playing with something electronic, doodling, etc. When there was a speaker, I always asked the speaker if it was ok if I knit and never once was told no. I did not knit in small internal meetings. I am really surprised by the number of knitters here who think it is inappropriate and don't realize how it helps you concentrate and stay focused.


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## beachknit (Oct 25, 2011)

Knitting interferes with eye contact and personal interaction. I can see how that could potentially distract others. Personally I think the role of a member of any committee is to focus on the matters, and people, at hand and not give the appearance of less-than-professional inattention by performing another task like knitting. After all, how can you maintain eye contact with each person speaking if you are looking down at your knitting? And if you are not making eye contact with others then you are not fully engaged in the conversation, or certainly giving the impression to others that you are not.


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## beachknit (Oct 25, 2011)

sewcranky said:


> I've been knitting for 50 years and I agree that seeing someone knitting at a meeting is a distraction. I have seen it at church and even at the movie theater and find it annoying. People wouldn't sit and read or play Candy Crush at meetings so why knit. It is a hobby and should be done on your free time. Just my opinion.


 :thumbup:


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## beachknit (Oct 25, 2011)

dylansnana said:


> In MHO I do not believe knitting should be done in a meeting or church. I do believe they should have said something to you and then reconsidered you for the board. However, even though this is a volunteer position it is still a business. If you worked for any other company, I am sure you would not be able to knit. Big business requires your undivided attention. I use knitting for stress relief, believe me I would love to be able to knit at work.


 :thumbup:


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## beachknit (Oct 25, 2011)

well put


tricotmonique said:


> There are other behaviours that can be annoying in meetings i.e. reading not related materials, proofreading materials, check emails, doodle, checking agenda. But as you know, people don't complain as they may for knitting.
> 
> Few strategies I have used to knit or not in meeting:
> - ask permission to the members,
> ...


 :thumbup:


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## jonibee (Nov 3, 2011)

Sometimes we are unaware of what we are doing that may be a distraction to others. This should have not been the main reason for you not to be considered for the EB, but what you have brought to the meetings in the past. Now that the table has been set before you ..decide which is important to you..if it's both, then one has to be shelved when the meeting is called to order ..I know this has left a bitter taste in your mouth..but you must decide what is the next step. Hopefully you can get passed this overlook...


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## Ali9407 (Jun 25, 2011)

AmyKnits said:


> It is frowned upon here as well... I am guessing only ONE person VOICED their concern/complaint, but I would guess the majority of the others FEEL the same way.....


Even though you feel you are paying attention the perception is a disrespect for others in the room. Obviously your feeling are hurt but sometime we need to realize it's not "all about me". Take it as a learning situation and move on.


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## sundrop016 (Mar 19, 2013)

Knitting does not belong in the work place, especially at a meeting. Don't resign, just stop knitting at the work place.


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## morningstar (Mar 24, 2012)

My working years required attendance at many meetings. In that world, it was considered rude or disruptive for anyone in attendance to not be giving their full attention to the matters at hand. Maybe only one member spoke up about your knitting during meetings but others, or maybe all, on the board were in agreement. Perhaps you can take a fresh look at this from that perspective. How you react now is important, too, if you wish to remain a part of that group. Hope this all works out well for you.


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## nanad (Mar 9, 2011)

I'm sorry this was not mentioned to you on the first time you were knitting.This is a knitting site so of course we would stick by you and can;t see why this should bother anyone. But on the other side you are at work getting paid to give your full attention to your job. A meeting last for about an hour so your knitting should be set aside until you are off the pay roll like lunch time or wait until you get home. Just think if there two more people on the board that brought their knitting it would end up as a knitting group. I know this is not what you want to hear but just my take on it-nana-d


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## morningstar (Mar 24, 2012)

christine 47 said:


> This again is where we differ as countries, here it would be frowned upon if anyone took knitting to a meeting and considered very unprofessional, I certainly wouldn't do it and I've never seen anyone do it. There's a time and place for everything and knitting in a Board Meeting is a no no.


The same holds true here in the US. Most places of business would not tolerate it.


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## TapestryArtist (Sep 4, 2013)

There's more to this complaining person than you know. It's someone who is after something.


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## GrandmaJeanB (Feb 7, 2012)

my daughter use to read while in school. only one teacher let her do this because she always knew what was going on in his class. I on the other hand can't walk and chew gum at the same time so I know that there are people out there that can do more things at one time. If this was offensive then they should have talked to you first.


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## SmilingCamel (Oct 21, 2011)

tricotmonique said:


> There are other behaviours that can be annoying in meetings i.e. reading not related materials, proofreading materials, check emails, doodle, checking agenda. But as you know, people don't complain as they may for knitting.
> 
> Few strategies I have used to knit or not in meeting:
> - ask permission to the members,
> ...


I was the President and Chief Professional Officer of a Chapter of an international non-profit for 32 year. I learned that I paid better attention on conference calls when I knit. Keeping my hands busy on a simple project kept my mind on the speakers whom I could not see but only hear. When I asked colleagues who were in other offices, alone on their phones about things that had transpired on the call, they weren't paying attention. They were answering e-mails, playing games or shopping on line. I then started knitting at meetings after first doing the things that tricotmonique listed in her post. I never knit when I was the leader or at large National meetings where it was not possible to get permission from hundreds of people.

Personally I think "praying" to the cell phone is rude (head bowed). And there is not way to pay attention and read or write a message.


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## Doodlebug (Jan 4, 2014)

I personally can see why it would be distracting ONLY because I love to watch others knit. I love to watch how others handle yarn and needles. But I can listen while watching. . After all, I am a Granny and we have to be able to do a lot. LOL. 
I understand your frustration and hurt. Sounds like you aren't appreciated for all that you contribute. I agree with writing the letter expressing those feelings. But I wouldn't let one person dictate whether or not you stay on the board. If being there is something you truly enjoy, hang in there. Good luck.


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## jdwilhelm (Dec 6, 2011)

Stay on the board, but do not knit during the meetings. Let them know how serious you are to help with the progress of the nonprofit. Go the second mile this year and perhaps you will move up to the Exec. Board next time. Remember you are still a valuable member of the board...the exec. board needs you to help them continue the work...Good luck.


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## Donnathomp (May 5, 2012)

Kathleen218 said:


> Just my opinion....I've been at meetings where someone was knitting and felt they were not giving their full attention to the matter at hand for the meeting, so that was a distraction for me. Most meetings ran 1-1-1/2 hrs, I would have appreciated the full attention of the attendees....as I said just my opinion.


I fully agree. A meeting is not the place to be knitting. Even if you take in all the information, others may not understand this. Personally, no matter where I am, if someone joins me, be it at work or at home or in a park, my knitting takes a back seat so they know my attention is focused. But in all fairness to yourself, it should have been brought to your attention from the get go that some people found it inappropriate. It's not a question of discrimination just common sense for that particular circumstance.


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## carmicv (Mar 21, 2014)

lazbones said:


> You are there to serve on a board, not to knit. You cannot have your FULL attention on the issues at hand while you are knitting.


I agree.


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## BiDDi (Dec 21, 2012)

disagree, Surely it depends on what you're knitting. However the person who felt he/she was being distracted should have said so as soon as it ocurred the first time and not when board appointments were under discussion.


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## carmicv (Mar 21, 2014)

christine 47 said:


> This again is where we differ as countries, here it would be frowned upon if anyone took knitting to a meeting and considered very unprofessional, I certainly wouldn't do it and I've never seen anyone do it. There's a time and place for everything and knitting in a Board Meeting is a no no.


 :thumbup: you are correct. Never would be permitted at our boards. I do agree they should have advised her the very first time.


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## Munchn (Mar 3, 2013)

I am in agreement with this post. It seems disrespectful as well. I do not mean to hurt your feelings but this is my opinion.


Kathleen218 said:


> Just my opinion....I've been at meetings where someone was knitting and felt they were not giving their full attention to the matter at hand for the meeting, so that was a distraction for me. Most meetings ran 1-1-1/2 hrs, I would have appreciated the full attention of the attendees....as I said just my opinion.


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## kayrein (Aug 24, 2011)

My personal opinion...work is work, knitting is leisure time. I used to knit at work but only on my lunch hour. I do not think it is appropriate to knit during official meetings or during work hours.


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## disgo (Mar 2, 2013)

My mother was the Head of the Local and State Rep for the State School Board Association of Montana. She knit originally since she never ran for the position (higher than the city Mayor) but was written in due to a letter she had written to the local paper presenting her opinions about how the federal money had been grossly mismanaged while the dam was being built.

She knit at all the board meetings and in the group attending state conferences until televised committee meetings came about. She would knit while the camera was focused for sometime on someone else. However, her supporters began calling asking to see what her latest project was so she quit.

Discrimination no--there has to be an established pattern with others in the same situation. Bias, you bet, and you will never get around that one so don't even waste your time and energy. If they want "yes persons" sitting like little tin soldiers then so be it.

What minutes??? That hasn't happened since '70 something at all the major boards I have belonged to. They don't want anything on record to come back and bite them in the backside. Bad enough they have access to all email since they use that against people as well. Best not to assume that your knitting was the sole issue since most would overlook that if you were really wanted by the EB. Best to drop the knitting at the other meeting and just ask a lot of questions instead--turn the tables!!!

Forgot to mention my mother was a self taught knitter and would knit during math class her last to years of high school. When confronted by the teacher in front of everyone her response was "Who is getting straight A's in this class"--that was the last of that!


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## RuthFromOhio (Oct 24, 2012)

When in Rome, do as the Romans do .........................


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## Still Clicking (May 24, 2014)

I can understand you wanting to knit. It is relaxing. If you were to chair the meeting, would you want someone knitting or doing something other then giving their full attention while you are trying to talk? I think it is rude to those at the meeting. 

I go to board meetings and one ex-board member brought her little girl. While the meeting was being conducted, the little girl
would sit on her mothers lap, and talk to her, play with the mothers car keys or take a pencil and scribble on the board member report . It was very annoying. The mother finally resigned.


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## Normagw (Mar 4, 2012)

I would never have knit at any type of meeting. Knitting shows the other attendees that you do not think the topics discussed are important enough for your complete attention.


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## pinkladydew (Oct 21, 2011)

I am going to saythat some people concentrate better when they have something like knitting in their hands ....Not everyone has the same level of concentration , when sitting in church if I dont doodle I loose my concentration on what the pastor says ....so dont judge a person by what you preceive is the right way to pay attention!


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## sseidel (Apr 20, 2012)

SmilingCamel said:


> I was the President and Chief Professional Officer of a Chapter of an international non-profit for 32 year. I learned that I paid better attention on conference calls when I knit. Keeping my hands busy on a simple project kept my mind on the speakers whom I could not see but only hear. When I asked colleagues who were in other offices, alone on their phones about things that had transpired on the call, they weren't paying attention. They were answering e-mails, playing games or shopping on line. I then started knitting at meetings after first doing the things that tricotmonique listed in her post. I never knit when I was the leader or at large National meetings where it was not possible to get permission from hundreds of people.
> 
> Personally I think "praying" to the cell phone is rude (head bowed). And there is not way to pay attention and read or write a message.


Well said
:thumbup:


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## Coral McRae (Jul 23, 2013)

I bet the person who mentioned the knitting was jealous! He wanted to knit too!


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## Geeda602 (Apr 3, 2012)

I sit on three different boards and I'm a knitter. I find it insulting to the facilator to see the top of one's head at a meeting. We can all give up an hour or two of craft time to be attentive at a meeting.


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## Hazel Blumberg - McKee (Sep 9, 2011)

Well, that is ridiculous! I certainly wouldn't quit knitting to please one passive-aggressive person who didn't have the guts to tell you that knitting "bothered" him or her. What a jerk! Are you sure you even want to be on this board??

Hazel


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## beejay (May 27, 2011)

I find I can concentrate better if I am doing some simple knitting while listening to someone drone on. I did have a speaker say something to me during a lecture about how I could knit and look at him. I told him if it bothered him I would stop. He said it didn't bother him but he just couldn't understand how I could do it and not look at it.


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## Maudellen (Jan 29, 2013)

I am on some Boards, and am a knitter, and am a mediator, so I think
1. This may have been the one issue that person was comfortable speaking about. In reality there may have been other concerns as well.
2. Since you are a long time and valuable member already, you might ask to meet with the Exec. Committee to clarify what is going on. However, people might like to keep these decisions private and avoid having to justify their decisions,
Frankly, the big mistake was the person who told you said anything at all. Once he opened that Pandora's box he was asking for trouble. He didn't realize how protective we KPers are about our right to knit!
All I can say is, if you value the board and your work on it, don't give it up just because one fool stepped on your dignity...but that is just my perspective.


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## Julie Eastman (Feb 1, 2013)

I personally think that a meeting requires the full attention of all attendees, so as much as I love knitting, I would leave it at home.


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## Anna3703 (Mar 4, 2012)

It would never enter my mind to bring my knitting to a committee meeting. And I certainly would not like anyone at the Executive Board meeting to be knitting. That would be disrespectful, speakers will see that they do not have your full attention (which is rude) and it could be distracting to others around you, whether they say so or not......just my HO. There is a time and a place for everything.


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## Oldesttm (Jul 4, 2012)

pinkladydew said:


> I am going to saythat some people concentrate better when they have something like knitting in their hands ....Not everyone has the same level of concentration , when sitting in church if I dont doodle I loose my concentration on what the pastor says ....so dont judge a person by what you preceive is the right way to pay attention!


Amen!


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## tielma (Nov 20, 2011)

I am a knitter and would not choose to knit while at a meeting. As others have said, it gives the impression that you are not giving your full attention, and that seems to trivialize what ever any other member, etc is expressing. Even as a knitter myself, I can fully understand the impression it gives and can certainly empathize with those who are opposed to knitting at meetings.


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## RNLinda (Dec 14, 2012)

I love to knit, but do not knit at meetings, classes, funerals, etc. I have seen people doing it, and I think it is rude to the person/persons speaking that they do it. They are looking at their knitting, not at the person speaking so how can they really be listening. I don't think any hobbies are appropriate at meetings. It appears rude, and they appear uninterested in the meeting/class, etc., only interested in what they are doing. I think why did they bother coming, if they can't stop knitting and pay attention.


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## Karen L (Feb 3, 2012)

I too feel it is rude to knit at a meeting. The only time I knit in public is once in a while at a family gathering and even then I ask if it bothers anyone. Guess I have been known to take it along to doctor's appointments when I know I will have to sit for a while. I did a lot when my husband was in the hospital and nursing home and even taught some people what to do while I was there. A meeting is a totally different thing - you need to give the impression you are paying full attention.


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## dotcarp2000 (Sep 5, 2011)

Kathleen218 said:


> Just my opinion....I've been at meetings where someone was knitting and felt they were not giving their full attention to the matter at hand for the meeting, so that was a distraction for me. Most meetings ran 1-1-1/2 hrs, I would have appreciated the full attention of the attendees....as I said just my opinion.


I agree. There is a time and place to do a craft and you just have to establish your priorities. You can knit at home but should pay attention at a meeting. I think that knitting in a crowd is very rude


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## bgscott (May 31, 2014)

It is a shame that one person can have that much power but that is the way of the world right now. Keep up the knitting and tell the board you are absorbing more than the person who is hunting for something to gripe about.


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## Diane Wolfe (Jun 3, 2013)

If you are a good contributor to the organization and you enjoy the work, continue as a member. Perhaps you could ask at the next meeting if your knitting is okay with the group and address the issue at that time by your offer to sit out of view of a certain person or to stop if they really think you cannot concentrate on both activities. Then, when it is time to choose another executive member you should be on an even playing field with the others. I would even speak up and talk like a resume about the effective ideas you raised and that they may have used for the committee. Good luck, Diane


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## NellieKnitter (Sep 10, 2012)

Maryhm said:


> I'm not sure how someone not giving their full attention to the subject would distract you if you were giving the event your full attention. It's a sign of the times that people feel they have the right to dictate the lives of others.


 :thumbup: :thumbup:

If the offended person was giving their full attention to the meeting, they would not be watching you--they are the one with the problem. Just a thought--maybe they have ADD and their medication has worn off or they need to be on medication.


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## tieman7 (Jan 18, 2013)

I knit at work, but just on my breaks. I want my employer and clients to feel that I am fully present to them while I am 'on the clock'. I have noticed when I tried multi-tasking something or someone always suffered!


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## Carmela51 (Jan 12, 2013)

I am an avid knitter and crocheter - I do one or the other every day. My personal rule is not to do it in places where others may not be opened to my crafts. If I am attending a meeting I feel that I need to give my undivided attention. If I am in a circle of people who aren't involved with my crafts I feel that I need to be involved with whatever the group is doing or saying. Having said that, it does seem that "one person" exercised a lot of control by not voting you in. Personally I do not believe that I would resign. If my commitment is to the nonprofit agency and the good it does, I believe that I would remain and continue doing the work I have always done (for me, minus the knitting during the meetings, of course.)


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## knitbreak (Jul 19, 2011)

Knitting isn't a leisure activity for me just yet. I'm constantly studying and searching our forum for help and tips.Also, when I took lessons at a few conventions I was amazed at the knitters taking notes,asking questions,etc,all while knitting full speed ahead. On the other hand I do feel that the person who knits at meetings should understand that some members may have negative opinions,etc. I no longer smoke,but when I did I always asked others around me if they minded my smoking.Many did!


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## debbieb (May 7, 2011)

Sounds to me like she was fascinated by what you were doing. Perhaps she would like to learn to knit!!!


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## Elder Ellen (Mar 9, 2013)

The person who complained is probably not a knitter (at least, not an accomplished knitter) and doesn't understand that knitting for some people is no more distracting for him/her than chewing gum or sipping on a soft drink is for others. On the other hand, if the knitter is working on a complicated piece and constantly looking at the instructions, counting stitches, etc., the knitter probably is missing some of the business of the meeting. The accomplished knitter doesn't need to watch, count stitches and check their progress; beginners and non-knitters might not understand that the rhythm is actually soothing and helpful in keeping the knitters attention on the business at hand. Of course, knitting complicates taking notes, using a key-board or doing something else with the hands. If the knitter watches the speaker and contributes to the meeting it should be OK to knit in meetings. Again, common sense should prevail.


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## Elder Ellen (Mar 9, 2013)

The person who complained is probably not a knitter (at least, not an accomplished knitter) and doesn't understand that knitting for some people is no more distracting for him/her than chewing gum or sipping on a soft drink is for others. On the other hand, if the knitter is working on a complicated piece and constantly looking at the instructions, counting stitches, etc., the knitter probably is missing some of the business of the meeting. The accomplished knitter doesn't need to watch, count stitches and check their progress; beginners and non-knitters might not understand that the rhythm is actually soothing and helpful in keeping the knitters attention on the business at hand. Of course, knitting complicates taking notes, using a key-board or doing something else with the hands. If the knitter watches the speaker and contributes to the meeting it should be OK to knit in meetings. Again, common sense should prevail.

If one person's knitting annoys someone else, that's the other person's problem -- he/she isn't paying attention to the business that's being discussed.


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## Ermdog (Apr 24, 2014)

Being a person with ADHD, I can see how a person could be distracted by anyone fiddling with anything during a meeting. However I am also a person who finds it very, very hard to stay focused if my hands are not occupied. I home school. Both of my kids are the same. I had to get used to my son needing silly putty in his hands to focus on math. 
I also think that the person who was distracted by your knitting was a coward for not asking you if you could put the knitting away during the meeting due to his/her own problem with distraction. People by and large are afraid of facing a problem person to person. Fragile egos I reckon. Afraid of the backlash. Easier to hide behind someone else.


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## flightpath (May 4, 2014)

christine 47 said:


> This again is where we differ as countries, here it would be frowned upon if anyone took knitting to a meeting and considered very unprofessional, I certainly wouldn't do it and I've never seen anyone do it. There's a time and place for everything and knitting in a Board Meeting is a no no.


No difference in countries. It is here in the US, too. I suspect that the "distraction" was not necessarily to the knitting itself, but to the fact that you would do it. Despite the fact that it does help some people to focus, it does present a picture of someone who isn't giving their full attention And does not care to. It can be seen as showing disreSpect, being rude, and having a LACK OF JUDGEMENT. Regardless of how much you participate during board meetings, the impression will still remain wiTh some people that you 1) aren't fully committed/interested and/or 2) your lack of judgement in this may preview what would be larger issues if put on the EB.

I have been on many boards of varying degrees of elected members/paid staff/volunteers, profit/non-profit, and combinations thereof. I KNOW at least one person (probably more) think as I have outlined. They would also think that you wouldn't need to be told that knitting in that situation is inappropriate IF you were suitable for the Executive Board. (Some people may Further conclude that there is no point in telling you!)

I knit. I am amazed by people who can knit in group settings. Even in awe of them. I see your dilemma. You have to decide whether you want to stay involved or not. If so, you can continue in your role as you have been and be satisfied (happy to know now EB not the right fit, but still contributing) Or, if you want to try for the EB later, Make some changes. Stop knitting. Maybe explain to some peoPle how it helps you to concentrate, but since it bothers others you will GLADLY stop. Take lots of notes. Very obviously. IF appropriate, volunteer to take minutes.

Sorry for how the situation has made you feel. Hope that you will be able to turn it to your account. Also sorry to tAlk so much, but felt this needed to be gone into more deeply. Unfortunately, people DO judge, judge quickly, judge on little, and only slowly let go of their judgements.

Good luck with whatever you decide is the best thing for you!


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## RNLinda (Dec 14, 2012)

I guess the thing is hobbies don't belong in a professional setting whether it bothers others or not. You don't appear to be very serious about anything other than yourself and your hobby. It's a very poor attitude to say I'm going to continue knitting, no one can tell me what do. Just because it bothers one person it shouldn't stop me from doing what I want, it conveys an I'll show you attitude. If you can't attend meetings without something to distract you, and keep you still, maybe you shouldn't attend meetings.


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## anetdeer (Jul 16, 2012)

I think knitting is less a distraction than someone checking their phone.


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## momanna (Nov 12, 2011)

My two cents (maybe one cent). I knit at HOA meetings and everyone wants to know what I'm knitting and how far along I am. HOWEVER, when I go to hear a speaker, I always ask if my knitting will distract the speaker. 

In your case, I don't know what to say. Fei on them for not wanting you on the board. I'm certain you would not knit while attending the exec board meetings (or would you).


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## Shylinn (Mar 19, 2014)

Unfortunately, what was said might not be the actual reason you did not make the executive board. What I would ask myself is this....Even though I consider myself an active contributor to board discussions, how many of my suggestions or ideas have been supported by the other members? The knitting comment may have been a face saving comment designed to spare both the head of the executive board and you. If I wanted to be on the executive board, I would stop knitting during meetings, keep track of my suggestions that have been actually implemented and bring them up in written format when the next exec vacancy occurs.


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## 20603 (May 13, 2011)

And yet there are the folks that constantly text and piddle with their phones or ipad or whatever.


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## Sperson (Jul 28, 2011)

My mother-in-law was criticized for knitting at family gatherings many years ago. I agree that knitting at work or meetings gives the appearance of not paying attention but I always knit with my family, but not other social events.


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## quiltdaze37 (Nov 16, 2013)

tH e universe is sending you a message... I would move on to something else !!!!Where you are appreciated


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## ngriff (Jan 25, 2014)

Years ago I was taking classes at a Community College. I sat in the front row, took notes, listened to the instructor and Knitted. He commented that he'd lost someone's attention from the getgo. I was embarrassed, but pointed out my notes and was able to take in his commentary better because my hands were occupied. He reported to the entire class the following session that he'd spoken to a psychologist who agreed with me and the instructor apologized. From that point on he joked with me as to what I was making him this week.


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## Eddyzmom (Feb 27, 2013)

If knitting was truly the distraction. Why didn't they offer you the EB postition with the sipulation that you couldn't knit in the meeting and let you decide if you wanted to take the postition or not?
I believe it was their way to keep you off the EB board for whatever reason but no neccessarily .... knitting in the meeting.


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## grandmaof7 (Feb 6, 2011)

I think it is the complainers problem. Obviously that person can't concentrate on what's going on b/c of moving knitting needles.


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## knottydoll (Aug 17, 2011)

lazbones said:


> You are there to serve on a board, not to knit. You cannot have your FULL attention on the issues at hand while you are knitting.


 :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## 59891 (Apr 18, 2012)

It's a funny world we live in where the opinion of one takes precedence!
I agree with the writer - why couldn't the complainer say what bothered her???
She obviously had another agenda!
I really hate to leave this mess of a world to my Grand children!!!


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## 59891 (Apr 18, 2012)

By the way, I am also in Tucson and yes, it is hot!!!!


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## grfew (Feb 16, 2011)

I do not think the reason was valid. But since it is a volunteer non profit organization, they may be hard pressed to keep board members and volunteers. One volunteer who can make a big stink may be the one connection the board feels they need for whatever reason. Do I think it was right? No, but I do not think there is any way to protest it. Other than just addressing the executive board as a whole regarding your feelings. Then you will have to decide if this organization that you give your time to freely is deserving of it. There are plenty of organizations that would be glad to have dedicated volunteers. But that is your decision to go or stay. But your time is yours- spend it where you will be appreciated.


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## Almost (Mar 8, 2014)

I also knit at meetings because I need the calm knitting helps me achieve/maintain. Like you, I have been severely chastised and even received downgraded performance evaluations because an exhalted life form misconstrued my knitting as rudeness. I truly share your pain.


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## blavell (Mar 18, 2011)

I also don't see how one person can hold all of the power. He/she should have come to you & settled it that way. This way, it stinks of discrimination. I guess I would write a letter explaining it as you did on KP & go from there. If nothing is done to your satisfaction, I would consider leaving the board altogether as who knows what they will do next; someone might not like the clothes you wear or how you take notes - you get what I'm saying. Good luck.


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## pb9759 (Oct 6, 2012)

RNLinda said:


> I guess the thing is hobbies don't belong in a professional setting whether it bothers others or not. You don't appear to be very serious about anything other than yourself and your hobby. It's a very poor attitude to say I'm going to continue knitting, no one can tell me what do. Just because it bothers one person it shouldn't stop me from doing what I want, it conveys an I'll show you attitude. If you can't attend meetings without something to distract you, and keep you still, maybe you shouldn't attend meetings.


 :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## flightpath (May 4, 2014)

Shylinn said:


> Unfortunately, what was said might not be the actual reason you did not make the executive board. What I would ask myself is this....Even though I consider myself an active contributor to board discussions, how many of my suggestions or ideas have been supported by the other members? The knitting comment may have been a face saving comment designed to spare both the head of the executive board and you. If I wanted to be on the executive board, I would stop knitting during meetings, keep track of my suggestions that have been actually implemented and bring them up in written format when the next exec vacancy occurs.


 :thumbup:


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## Ronie (Jan 21, 2011)

I agree... with the poster who said it is a distraction and should not of been permitted in the first place... There is a time and place for our hobbies and the work place is not one of them... 
You wouldn't want someone in there whittling into a paper trash basket, or someone painting, to other Non Knitters what you are doing is the same thing... 

I personally would address the group and say that you had no idea it was a distraction and you will leave your needles at home from now on.. and hope that when the next promotion comes along they see that as a sign of commitment and will offer you the position..


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## norse7 (Mar 2, 2014)

sweetie..been there done that. I take my knitting and just leave it for break times etc. If you even give the impression you might not be listening or paying attention, guaranteed reaction for some to complain. Maybe it is time to find another non profit who might really profit from your efforts and contributions. Do they accept your knitted items for any of their fund raisers?? I just bet they do. Non profit boards are difficult in most cases because they are there for something other than the need for which it was founded. A new outlet would refresh your attitude and help you get over this intrusion on your efforts. Sounds to me like you would be an asset to any board. Good luck!!


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## MoMo (Apr 28, 2011)

I am at a loss.... as much as I would LOVE to knit at meetings, I cannot imagine that being tolerated by the other attendees ( usually men... we are in construction) without a good deal of condescending attitude. I am not willing to subject myself to that. I have friends who are permitted to knit in Church... my Church would have a cow.... maybe I am so old that I think there is a place for everything, and knitting in the business realm is not among it. That being said, I regularly knit in doctor's waiting room,s and even during the sessions when I accompany my husband to his psychiatry appointments....


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## headlemk (Feb 16, 2011)

I can see this has devolved into criticism. You stated that you contributed and involved yourself in discussion while in the meetings. I, too, am better focused when my hands are busy and can listen and concentrate on what is being said. And, yes, I have on occasion knitted at church ... and in a later discussion with friends remembered more about what was said in the sermon than they did. Research has shown that even doodling in the margins while taking notes can also enhance your memory ... when you see the doodle, it serves like a bookmark in your memory and you recall what was being said. 

I think the person who complained was not jealous, but definitely bigoted against your knitting. A snob, really. I've had something similar happen to me (not re knitting). One complaint unknown to me until after the fact, kept me from getting a job. I was never allowed to know who my "accuser" was so that I could have discussed it privately with them. I personally think complaints under the guise of anonymity should be treated as moot. If you're not willing to put your name on it, it's not worth what you're saying.

I've also had a ministry I started at my church and participated in for more than 20 years stopped by the elders because someone "was distracted" by providing interpretation for the deaf (even when we didn't have deaf in attendance). Those who liked the ministry told us repeatedly how it enhanced their worship, but apparently no one bothered to come and ask us about our ministry when they didn't understand it. for something to be killed that had been in place for more than 20 years and had 5 ministry members, it killed something inside of me as well. I never knew who was complaining. This is not how it is to be done in the Bible, but the elders and ministers stepped in and said we couldn't do it in front anymore, we had to "move to the back". What an insult to the deaf community. After about a month of being "in the back" I just closed the ministry. I couldn't stand it anymore. Anyone who asked what happened, I'd just direct them to the elders.


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## mbostono (Mar 16, 2011)

I take knitting to most meetings and lectures BECAUSE when I was in college I had a Psychology professor who encouraged his students to bring hand work to his class because research proved that you absorbed more when your hands were busy. The theory being that you were less likely to let your mind wander when your hands were busy. So the argument that a person would not be as attentive if knitting seems to have no validity.


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## dgid (Feb 3, 2014)

marimom said:


> You hit it on the nail. Knitting does help me concentrate on the topic. I am ADD and can get quite distracted just by listening to people without doing something with my hands. I have been knitting for over 50 years and so it is quite simple for me to be attentive to the question at hand and, as I said, I do participate in discussions unlike a lot of Board members.


I, too, am ADD, and ANYTHING however small, can distract me. My thoughts, participating in anything other than what you are there for can be distracting to others. I agree she should have come to you personally, but since she didn't, those in charge should have come to you before making a final decision. 
I would continue going to the meetings, without the knitting. You are much bigger than a slight of this kind!


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## pengwensgranny (Aug 3, 2011)

Others here have said it, but I am going to say it too. The question of knitting at the meeting may have been a face saving way of saying that you weren't considered suitable for the EB and nothing to do with the knitting. Maybee another person had better and more appropriate experience than you. There could be many reasons why someone else was considered more of an asset than you. 

Others on here have said that the person should have spoken up to your face. Maybe you give the impression that, as you knit at meetings, you are not really interested in the subject, only your knitting.

A time and place for everything, and meetings of any sort are not really the place for knitting or any other hobby for that matter.

All meetings I have attended in the past, whether it was at a committee meeting, a general meeting or whatever, we were always requested to turn off our mobile phones. So no checking emails, playing games etc.


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## dgid (Feb 3, 2014)

anetdeer said:


> I think knitting is less a distraction than someone checking their phone.


Amen to that!!!!!!!


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## Bethknits79 (Jul 19, 2011)

My son has ADHD and any small action is distracting for him. Some days at school are particularly hard for him because different students are doing different things at the same time. I completely understand that your knitting helps you concentrate but it may be very distracting for someone else. Also, as others have said, to non knitters it may give the impression that you are not paying attention. So sorry you missed out on the EB because someone didn't come to you at the beginning and talk to you about your knitting.


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## Avigayil (Jul 26, 2013)

This is a case of discrimination. Knitters need to keep on knitting in public. It isnt like smoking where what we do interferes with anyone's health.
Why would you wqnt to be on the EB of an unenlightened board? It is their loss. If you continue to knit in public, you moght encourage other knitters to come out of the closet, so to speak! Take part in the World Wide aknitting in apubic Day. There is a web site to assist in finding a group or setting up your own event.

KNIT ON!


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## Avigayil (Jul 26, 2013)

This is a case of discrimination. Knitters need to keep on knitting in public. It isnt like smoking where what we do interferes with anyone's health.
Why would you wqnt to be on the EB of an unenlightened board? It is their loss. If you continue to knit in public, you moght encourage other knitters to come out of the closet, so to speak! Take part in the World Wide aknitting in apubic Day. There is a web site to assist in finding a group or setting up your own event.

KNIT ON!


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## gr8 (Jul 4, 2013)

When i worked there was a gal who knitted at our meetings and nobody really paid much attention to it - until one day when she was asked a question and her response was: "Wait, I'm counting." We waited an in just a few moments she said: "OK, what is the question?" Later she was told she could no longer bring her knitting to meetings. 
So, what DO you do when you're in a meeting and you need to keep your focus on the knitting instead of the subject of the meeting? Does the knitting suffer or does your attention to the meeting suffer. You say that the knitting helps you concentrate but what if you have to concentrate on the knitting meeting?


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## Avigayil (Jul 26, 2013)

lazbones said:


> You are there to serve on a board, not to knit. You cannot have your FULL attention on the issues at hand while you are knitting.


This might be your experience with knitting, but for many people, engaging one's hands actually improves concentration.


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## Dcsmith77 (Apr 18, 2011)

IMHO, if you cannot concentrate on the business of the meeting without disturbing others who are trying to follow the business, then you should not be on the board. I hate to discourage any knitter, but it is just inappropriate. I do think that in this case it was rude and just as inappropriate not to let you know that it was disturbing others and simply ask you not to do it anymore. I think you may be with the wrong group.


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## Colonial Cat (Mar 4, 2013)

My attitude is I am better off with out such people who are that narrow minded .


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## Colonial Cat (Mar 4, 2013)

My attitude is I am better off with out such people who are that narrow minded .


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## misellen (Mar 8, 2013)

Maryhm said:


> I'm not sure how someone not giving their full attention to the subject would distract you if you were giving the event your full attention. It's a sign of the times that people feel they have the right to dictate the lives of others.


 :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## dgid (Feb 3, 2014)

Colonial Cat said:


> My attitude is I am better off with out such people who are that narrow minded .


To not consider how what you are doing affects others, is also narrow minded.


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## Llavaia (Oct 14, 2013)

I was also on a board of trustees .. Knitting during a meeting is unprofessional ... And disrespectful..


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## rasputin (Apr 21, 2013)

CBratt said:


> I personally cannot concentrate on my knitting AND take in whatever else is going on around me so I would not be knitting at board meetings, during work hours, in church, etc.
> 
> For folks who do not knit and never have, I can see how they would think it inappropriate to knit at a committee meeting and I guess it could be a distraction.
> 
> Just my humble opinion and not meant to offend anyone!


I agree with you. I have a friend who is a prolific knitter. but she knits everywhere! some places to me are not appropriate. I feel in this case they probably feel you would not be giving your fool attention to the meeting.


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## taborhills (Sep 8, 2012)

Knitting IN PUBLIC is not the same as knitting in a meeting. The former is fine.
The latter conveys that what others are saying does not warrant your full attention. Thus it is disrespectful of others. Would one do a jigsaw puzzle in a meeting? Would one address envelopes in a meeting? No. The purpose of an in-person meeting is to work together, and any distraction interferes, even if subtly or even of by implication, and implies that the time of others is not valued.


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## snowiesmom (Apr 4, 2014)

Maybe ask how it was distracting. Outside of that it sounds like a bit of jealousy or discrimination


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## Gweneth 1946 (May 20, 2012)

I don't believe it is the knitting they find distracting, unless your needles clank together, they do not feel you are paying attention, that you cannot listen and knit at the same time. Only a knitter would understand you. I would not go for a year or so and then return I am sure there are other organizations you can get involved in. :|


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## snowiesmom (Apr 4, 2014)

taborhills said:


> Knitting IN PUBLIC is not the same as knitting in a meeting. The former is fine.
> The latter conveys that what others are saying does not warrant your full attention. Thus it is disrespectful of others. Would one do a jigsaw puzzle in a meeting? Would one address envelopes in a meeting? No. The purpose of an in-person meeting is to work together, and any distraction interferes, even if subtly or even of by implication, and implies that the time of others is not valued.


Not trying to be argumentative, but I knit without watching my hands and am great at multitasking. Therefore I'm certain that many others are equally as gifted.


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## Rusty's Mom (Sep 25, 2011)

Knitting in a meeting is disrespectful and unprofessional. Knitting is a hobby and should not be done at meetings because it looks like you are not paying attention to what is going on and you'd rather do something else (your knitting). However, you aren't paying close attention to what is being said in the meeting because you are knitting. I do not blame them for not choosing you for the Executive Board. If you cannot leave your knitting alone for the 1 and 1/2 hours of the meeting, you do not deserve to be on that board. You say that only one person complained about your knitting and several who posted responses have said that maybe this person was only one of many persons who felt that the knitting was distracting. I believe this to be true. Before attending the meeting of the Executive Board, you should have asked someone if your knitting in the meeting was permitted. You should accept the decision and just move on with your life and please leave the knitting at home.


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## Swtthng (Mar 3, 2013)

I don't think Knitters are a Protected Class for a real discrimination issue. I would think something should have been said to you before you were eliminated from consideration from the position. Btw, I'm of the opinion that knitting, crocheting, texting, painting, whatever is inappropriate in a business meeting. If it's a board for crafters that's another story.


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## Ginia1951 (May 17, 2014)

Here is something interesting. Ii am a nurse and went to a seminar on better sleep and memory. The MD giving the seminar said that he liked seeing people knit or crochet during his lectures for two reasons. One it let him know they were awake, listening and not sleeping. Two he said that when you do repetitive work with your hands and listen to a speaker the brain retains more information longer. He said that after I got my crocheting out and sat at the front table working on a project.


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## Parrishththgt (Aug 20, 2012)

Kathleen218 said:


> Just my opinion....I've been at meetings where someone was knitting and felt they were not giving their full attention to the matter at hand for the meeting, so that was a distraction for me. Most meetings ran 1-1-1/2 hrs, I would have appreciated the full attention of the attendees....as I said just my opinion.


Tend to agree. I crochet to pass the time on planes or in waiting rooms...ergo when I'm bored. I would think someone in a meeting knitting was bored.


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## pfoley (Nov 29, 2011)

It could be that the other members felt your knitting was a distraction because they might assume, that because you were knitting, you showed a lack of interest in the proceedings that were going on at the time, the same as if someone else were texting on their phone or searching on their laptop while someone was speaking. I would think they would want your full attention at a meeting. I am guessing it was more than one person who mentioned it.


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## grfew (Feb 16, 2011)

I think one of the things lost in this conversation is VOLUNTEER NON-PROFIT----it is her time she is spending for no pay. It is not General Motors or Ford. Yes, some may construe her knitting as inattention. They should have said something to her if there was a perceived problem. Personally, I would not have knitted there....but I generally have to concentrate a bit more on my knitting. I have been known to watch TV and read a book or knit at the same time. Used to drive my ex nuts. Took all his concentration to watch TV. Idle conversation was distracting to him. Bottom line, IMHO, is how much does she think her free time is worth? This amount of hassle? She will have to decide that.


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## taborhills (Sep 8, 2012)

snowiesmom said:


> Maybe ask how it was distracting. Outside of that it sounds like a bit of jealousy or discrimination


This suggestion to me just sounds argumentative. Bringing up suggestions implying jealousy or discrimination seems unlikely to lead to peace and productivity. I doubt that it would be helpful.

But it depends on the group culture. Could they deal with the conflict? Do they have the skills to work it through and come out with both sides/all sides having been heard? Some people can handle such conflicts, and some just cannot and yet may be a worthwhile group anyway.

I like the old saying, "If in doubt, don't."


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## norse7 (Mar 2, 2014)

I think the main problem in our society today is anger...we all seem to be finding fault and not being kind...is this you? is it me? I am working on it. So much rage and self serving and judgement! I just wondered about my own responses. I love all you knitters and you really keep me centered (most of the time) on what is really important.
HAVE A DELIGHTFUL DAY1


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## Dowager (Jun 7, 2011)

marimom said:


> Interesting thought. What to do about it?


Call your local ACLU and see if there's a basis for a discrimination lawsuit. The mere threat of one might shock them into line


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## SAMkewel (Mar 5, 2011)

lazbones said:


> You are there to serve on a board, not to knit. You cannot have your FULL attention on the issues at hand while you are knitting.


How can you tell so positively what this person can and cannot do? While this may be true of you and many others, it is not true of the entire universe of knitters. Is this a case of if I can't do it, no one else can, either?


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## taborhills (Sep 8, 2012)

Ginia1951 said:


> Here is something interesting. Ii am a nurse and went to a seminar on better sleep and memory. The MD giving the seminar said that he liked seeing people knit or crochet during his lectures for two reasons. One it let him know they were awake, listening and not sleeping. Two he said that when you do repetitive work with your hands and listen to a speaker the brain retains more information longer. He said that after I got my crocheting out and sat at the front table working on a project.


Handwork in a lecture is different from handwork in a meeting or discussion group where not only one's attanetion, but one's active observation and input are expected.

We used to be allowed to knit in college lectures so long as we did not use metal needles which clattered when dropped!


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## taborhills (Sep 8, 2012)

Dowager said:


> Call your local ACLU and see if there's a basis for a discrimination lawsuit. The mere threat of one might shock them into line


Oh come.


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## Beachkc (Aug 24, 2012)

Than movement of hands by people near me is a distraction to in a big way. I understand that some people can listen better while keeping their hands busy, but in consideration for others, I would not knit at meetings, church and other functions where others are trying to pay attention. Now waiting rooms are another matter and my needles are free to fly.


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## taborhills (Sep 8, 2012)

norse7 said:


> I think the main problem in our society today is anger...we all seem to be finding fault and not being kind...is this you? is it me? I am working on it. So much rage and self serving and judgement! I just wondered about my own responses. I love all you knitters and you really keep me centered (most of the time) on what is really important.
> HAVE A DELIGHTFUL DAY1


 :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## pstarr (Feb 24, 2011)

I, too, have brought my knitting out at some conferences, training events and meetings. I have never been called on it, and when I do bring a project to such an event it is usually something simple so that I can stay engaged in the meeting at hand. It is too bad that the one person who felt "uncomfortable" could not have approached you to talk about it.


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## headlemk (Feb 16, 2011)

Different people have different ways to concentrate. Research shows that doing things to keep your hands busy CAN and DOES help some people concentrate on what is going on in the room. 

Knitting isn't ALWAYS just a hobby. I knit for charity, it is NOT a hobby to me. It is a valuable use of my time in service to others.

Maybe for some of you, you cannot multitask mentally and that's OK, but please don't denigrate others for feeling the necessity to keep our hands busy so that we don't fidget in meetings. We CAN be engaged and knit at the same time. Each person has their own way of focusing on the task at hand. 

The complainer has problems if someone with knitting in their lap was a distraction...he should have been focused on the task at hand instead. AND he was wrong wrong wrong to complain and not come to you first with his concerns. You were prevented from educating someone.


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## Llavaia (Oct 14, 2013)

They are both no no's..


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## headlemk (Feb 16, 2011)

taborhills said:


> Handwork in a lecture is different from handwork in a meeting or discussion group where not only one's attanetion, but one's active observation and input are expected.
> 
> We used to be allowed to knit in college lectures so long as we did not use metal needles which clattered when dropped!


She stated that she was engaged in the conversation and offered opinions and ideas.


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## Llavaia (Oct 14, 2013)

My mistake ...I mean in reference to checking your phone during a meeting...


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## owlet (Aug 18, 2013)

Rusty's Mom said:


> Knitting in a meeting is disrespectful and unprofessional. Knitting is a hobby and should not be done at meetings because it looks like you are not paying attention to what is going on and you'd rather do something else (your knitting). However, you aren't paying close attention to what is being said in the meeting because you are knitting. I do not blame them for not choosing you for the Executive Board. If you cannot leave your knitting alone for the 1 and 1/2 hours of the meeting, you do not deserve to be on that board. You say that only one person complained about your knitting and several who posted responses have said that maybe this person was only one of many persons who felt that the knitting was distracting. I believe this to be true. Before attending the meeting of the Executive Board, you should have asked someone if your knitting in the meeting was permitted. You should accept the decision and just move on with your life and please leave the knitting at home.


Exactly.

:thumbup: :thumbup:


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## yona (Feb 7, 2011)

MartiG said:


> Maybe a letter to the board stating just what you said in your initial post, that you are a valuable contributer and what a waste it would be to lose you when the "distracted" person could just have told you in private and you could have dealt with the situation on that level. By the way, podcaster Heather Ordover of the "Craftlit" podcast has published a paper on how working on something like knitting while attending meetings actually positively impacts the knitters attention to the discussion at hand.


I agree as I have done just that! On some of the most important, decision making events, I knitted. Knitting while at the meetings intensified my concentration and train of thought which resulted in positive outcomes each and every time.


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## dianemdb (Feb 14, 2014)

One's perception is their reality. Needle work is synonymous with craft, hobby, leisure. it has no place in a business setting. OK for book club; not OK for boardroom.


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## Ciyona (Jan 17, 2011)

This may sound harsh and it is not meant to be. However, to me if you are at a meeting then there is no place for knitting as it is a sign that you are bored and would rather be someplace else. Board members have a great responsiblity as well as the excutive members. Having your mind on something else is inappropriate and non professional. When I go to meetings I knit while I wait to go in but them put it away when it is time for the meeting so my full attention is on the discussion or the task at hand. I am sorry you didn't get the job you wanted but you really need to look at how knitting during a meeting effects your ability to have your full attention on the matters at hand. One may have said something but others were thinking it. Forgive me for being so blunt about the subject but that is how I see it.


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## nit witty (Dec 29, 2011)

nrc1940 said:


> This is just my opinion so take it with a grain of salt, but I certainly would not give up knitting to please one person. I can't wrap my mind around how knitting could be distracting. Maybe I've been knitting so long that I can't see the other side of the equation.


In addition, since the damage is already done (not getting on the EB) you might as well continue knitting and enjoy yourself. Some people (who don't knit apparently) don't understand the benefits we derive from it.


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## headlemk (Feb 16, 2011)

dianemdb said:


> One's perception is their reality. Needle work is synonymous with craft, hobby, leisure. it has no place in a business setting. OK for book club; not OK for boardroom.


in your opinion....that is your perception....and that's ok, but that is not everyone's perception.


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## Montana Gramma (Dec 19, 2012)

Most executive boards are filled by people in business who are use to being paid full attention, or people who have been with the organization for many years and are aware of what is needed to operate. Business execs are usually " all business" and would find knitting, a hobby to them, likely a slight towards their contribution. They are giving of their time and a distraction to them is a waste of their time. Also if guests were present and they have opinions on hobbies, they may not support the cause thinking it is less than their professional expectation. In that case more harm than good is done. Wether we like it or not there are still first impressions in society and others have opinions based on first impressions. The more money involved in the organization the higher the expectation of being on board. Being as they do not know you personally and know your dedication and acumen, supposition reigns. I personally would not give them any more fodder to criticize if the position means a great deal to you. Later down the road you could present them with the studies on attention spans!


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## talbotsetters (Dec 21, 2013)

marimom said:


> Thank you all for your comments. Lots of thought provoking ideas.


I don't suppose the one person who complained got the post on the board?!? Just a thought, but I'm an old cynic...


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## Linda Z. (Jul 21, 2013)

I belonged to an organization several years ago where in large group gatherings many of the women did needlework of one kind or another. Personally, I listened better to the business that seemed to go on and on. Many of the men did not like it and did not understand. They felt the women were being disrespectful. Not true at all. I was a better member because I could listen better. 
That being said, I suppose these meetings are about 1 1/2
so not too long. I think it would be a good idea, though difficult, to speak to the one who found it distracting. I think continuing with your good work would be a good thing. I sure do understand being criticized when one means well.It is doubly hard to deal with. Hope all works out for you


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## nit witty (Dec 29, 2011)

Ciyona said:


> This may sound harsh and it is not meant to be. However, to me if you are at a meeting then there is no place for knitting as it is a sign that you are bored and would rather be someplace else. Board members have a great responsiblity as well as the excutive members. Having your mind on something else is inappropriate and non professional. When I go to meetings I knit while I wait to go in but them put it away when it is time for the meeting so my full attention is on the discussion or the task at hand. I am sorry you didn't get the job you wanted but you really need to look at how knitting during a meeting effects your ability to have your full attention on the matters at hand. One may have said something but others were thinking it. Forgive me for being so blunt about the subject but that is how I see it.


Some people can walk and chew gum, some can't! I for one can knit and have my thoughts completely on what someone is saying, TV, whatever else is going on around me...unless I am doing a really tricky lace pattern. But then of course, I would NEVER take that kind of knitting to a gathering where I need to be at the top of my game.


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## taborhills (Sep 8, 2012)

headlemk said:


> She stated that she was engaged in the conversation and offered opinions and ideas.


I have been in meetings where a person doing handwork did offer ideas and contribute opinions, but some people who do this seem to be drifting in and out during their attendance so that sometimes they are not on target, on subject, not fully present. As with so many issues, whether or not to knit in a board meeting could vary according to the culture, the expectations, the skills of the different attendees. In fact are the members "attendees" or true "participants"?


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## tiddywee (Feb 9, 2013)

as a knitter of many I do agree, when at meetings etc I give my full attention and expect everyone else to. I would be most put out if anyone brought in their hobby to a meeting as it is rude


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## rderemer (Nov 13, 2012)

Kathleen218 said:


> Just my opinion....I've been at meetings where someone was knitting and felt they were not giving their full attention to the matter at hand for the meeting, so that was a distraction for me. Most meetings ran 1-1-1/2 hrs, I would have appreciated the full attention of the attendees....as I said just my opinion.


It's my opinion as well. Even though I know I can knit pay attention to something else at the same time. It's all about the perception.


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## bizzyknitter (May 10, 2011)

flhusker said:


> Sound like discrimination and some plain old jealousy. How can one person hold that much power?


That's what I would like to know. I am tired of one person changing all the rules. You hear it on the news all the time, especially around Christmas time. It's time for the majority to stand up and be heard. :thumbup:


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## Ciyona (Jan 17, 2011)

So true Nit Witty, and like everything there is a time and place to do them. How would you feel if your doctor's chose to knit instead of doing your surgery? Just and example.



nit witty said:


> Some people can walk and chew gum, some can't! I for one can knit and have my thoughts completely on what someone is saying, TV, whatever else is going on around me...unless I am doing a really tricky lace pattern. But then of course, I would NEVER take that kind of knitting to a gathering where I need to be at the top of my game.


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## Gabriell (Sep 13, 2011)

A woman in my knitting group once brought a crochet project with her, a baby blanket.I had the feeling she was doing it to get attention.Nobody said anything,I commented on it as we were leaving.It was really beautiful.She never brought her work again.


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## Whitwillhands (Feb 12, 2012)

I would stop knitting during meetings. I am an avid knitter/crocheter but it has a time and place. Your attention should be 100% on the matter in hand and although your attention is probably on the meeting others would perceive it as a distraction. 
While waiting for everyone to arrive at the meeting and after is fine but during give them 100%.


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## bizzyknitter (May 10, 2011)

And keep on knitting. They're probably so jealous because they can't knit.


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## talbotsetters (Dec 21, 2013)

I bet Marimom wishes she'd never started this! Some of the remarks are, at best, hurtful and, at worst, plain nasty! Sheesh...


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## gma11331 (Oct 18, 2011)

This sure generated a lot of interest. I agree it could be perceived as being inattentive at meetings but I also think that if that's the case, you should have been advised when you first brought your knitting to meetings.


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## Laddie (Mar 17, 2013)

Let me ask how would you feel if you speaking ar a meeting and someone was texting or playing a game on their cell phone? Honestly, I'm surprised that they haven't asked you to leave!


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## misellen (Mar 8, 2013)

nit witty said:


> Some people can walk and chew gum, some can't! I for one can knit and have my thoughts completely on what someone is saying, TV, whatever else is going on around me...unless I am doing a really tricky lace pattern. But then of course, I would NEVER take that kind of knitting to a gathering where I need to be at the top of my game.


But what matters here is not what the knitter is capable of. It is what impression he/she is giving to others.


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## Valkyrie (Feb 26, 2011)

I would also find it a distraction, just as I would if someone kept looking at their cell phone. I think when in a professional situation, one should devote all of that time to the business at hand. Just listening and occasionally speaking is not complete communication, as one needs to see the face and body language of people to fully comprehend. Otherwise, just have the meeting via webcam. Just MHO. :|


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## DJNL07 (May 15, 2012)

I very rarely comment on a post on KP although I read it daily but this is a topic I feel VERY strongly about. I would also find it annoying to have someone knitting (and I am an avid knitter,spinner & weaver) at a board meeting...or a concert...or a presentation...or...or...... I find it *rude*. My opinion.


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## misellen (Mar 8, 2013)

Gabriell said:


> A woman in my knitting group once brought a crochet project with her, a baby blanket.I had the feeling she was doing it to get attention.Nobody said anything,I commented on it as we were leaving.It was really beautiful.She never brought her work again.


That's why my group is called "fiber arts" and not knitting. We are free to bring any type of fiber art to the meeting.

I don't see why it should bother the other members of a group if someone was crocheting instead of knitting. They are both done with string and stick.


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## owlet (Aug 18, 2013)

talbotsetters said:


> I bet Marimom wishes she'd never started this! Some of the remarks are, at best, hurtful and, at worst, plain nasty! Sheesh...


I wouldn't call any of them hurtful or nasty, just honest and considered opinions. People asking for comments have to expect many points of view to be put forward, not just the ones in agreement.


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## SAMkewel (Mar 5, 2011)

Ciyona said:


> This may sound harsh and it is not meant to be. However, to me if you are at a meeting then there is no place for knitting as it is a sign that you are bored and would rather be someplace else. Board members have a great responsiblity as well as the excutive members. Having your mind on something else is inappropriate and non professional. When I go to meetings I knit while I wait to go in but them put it away when it is time for the meeting so my full attention is on the discussion or the task at hand. I am sorry you didn't get the job you wanted but you really need to look at how knitting during a meeting effects your ability to have your full attention on the matters at hand. One may have said something but others were thinking it. Forgive me for being so blunt about the subject but that is how I see it.


So you are saying that your assumptions trump her realty? Then you must think there is only one right way for everyone to be.


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## SAMkewel (Mar 5, 2011)

Ciyona said:


> So true Nit Witty, and like everything there is a time and place to do them. How would you feel if your doctor's chose to knit instead of doing your surgery? Just and example.


I really can't see any comparison here. No one (I hope), knits and drives, either, because someone else's life is at stake. Knitting at a meeting threatens who or what?


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## Colorgal (Feb 20, 2012)

I often have a hard time at meeting if they last a long time. I take my knitting everywhere as long as it is a small project. Not an afghan !!!. To me knitting is like doodling. Helps keep me focused and my mind does not wander as much. People who doodle are not looked down upon.



Kathleen218 said:


> Just my opinion....I've been at meetings where someone was knitting and felt they were not giving their full attention to the matter at hand for the meeting, so that was a distraction for me. Most meetings ran 1-1-1/2 hrs, I would have appreciated the full attention of the attendees....as I said just my opinion.


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## SAMkewel (Mar 5, 2011)

Colorgal said:


> I often have a hard time at meeting if they last a long time. I take my knitting everywhere as long as it is a small project. Not an afghan !!!. To me knitting is like doodling. Helps keep me focused and my mind does not wander as much. People who doodle are not looked down upon.


You're right about doodlers not being looked down upon. I'm really surprised that there is still so much insistence upon conforming to a rigid standard when it comes to this situation. Remind me never to offer my services on any committee anywhere. I don't knit in public ever, but that's because I do NOT split my attention well, not because I'm being a sheeple who must do what everyone else does.


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## gclemens (Feb 18, 2012)

If you seriously want this position, get a lawyer. Discrimination is illegal even in non-profits.


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## nit witty (Dec 29, 2011)

To me rude is using your smart phone to text and read messages, and more and more people are doing that all the time...not only in meetings, but when they are sitting across from you in restaurants. 
I see families in restaurants all the time, each with their cellphone and each texting someone. For all I know it could be the person on the other side of the table. What happened to polite conversation during dinner?


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## Tessie (Jul 29, 2011)

My first thought was to tell you to leave, but then I thought why let one person keep you from attending meetings or for you to stop knitting. Just keep doing what you have been doing and smile at everyone. I had something similar happen to me and it was so hard to keep going, but I did. They did not get their satisfaction.


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## Montana Gramma (Dec 19, 2012)

Gabriell said:


> A woman in my knitting group once brought a crochet project with her, a baby blanket.I had the feeling she was doing it to get attention.Nobody said anything,I commented on it as we were leaving.It was really beautiful.She never brought her work again.


Do you only allow knitting at your group? Perhaps she did not know? I have never been in a group that was exclusive to one yarn hand craft.


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## MrsC (Jul 10, 2011)

I likeMarti G's idea. I think you should write a letter and explain just what you posted. If it were me, I would add, if one person had that much power, I didn't want to be there anyway. If any one person has that much power, then there is no need for the rest of you to be there. :?


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## mirium (May 14, 2013)

Seems to me there are several things going on all at once:

Others' perception that when you're knitting, you're paying less attention to the meeting.

The stereotype of what's Professional -- which is based on traditional male behavior and doesn't include knitting.

The reality that some folks are distracted when someone nearby is making small movements.

The politics of anonymously complaining instead of talking you directly.


If it were me, I'd bring up the subject at the next Board meeting and address each of those issues in a friendly way:

It's recently come to my attention that there are objections to my knitting at meetings, but I'm not sure what those objections are based on. I'd like to assure you that knitting has not distracted me from the business at hand; in fact, having my hands busy helps me focus better on the discussion. I assumed that, if the busy hands of someone doodling on paper were acceptable, the busy hands of someone knitting would be equally acceptable in this century -- that traditionally feminine activities aren't automatically labeled as "unprofessional." I'm surprised that no one mentioned their discomfort to me directly so that we could work out a solution, and I welcome a discussion on the subject, either here or privately. But for now, I'll respect the needs of other members and refrain from knitting at meetings.

And then I'd discreetly fidget and doodle like mad all through the meeting. ;-)


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## Beachkc (Aug 24, 2012)

My minds eye just pictured a meeting where all members brought his or her craft. A few knitters, beaders, scrapbookers, needle pointers ect. If one can, others can too. Totally unprofessional.


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## oannejay (Apr 12, 2012)

So you can multi-task! That is a sign of an alert mind and spirit. It is the in thing, they must be behind the times!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

If I have to go to a meeting, bringing my knitting puts me in a better mood/attitude. If you don't have to look at your knitting and stay in touch with the conversation, It is fine by me. I guess you should ask the head of the board, and state your case, and present it to the group if, they feel it is necesseary. Then next time they will be less judgmental. Too bad for them.


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## felix (Jul 13, 2011)

having read all of the posts, i actually agree with everyones opinion....you need to give full attention (even if you are day dreaming in your head) to the cause...that's why you are there....they are pretty closed minded if they take one complaint to throw you out.....i would approach the person (if you know who it is) and ask if they were offended or thought i was not doing my job....otherwise tell them to take a running jump, you have other places to put your time and money....amen


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## oannejay (Apr 12, 2012)

Beachkc said:


> My minds eye just pictured a meeting where all members brought his or her craft. A few knitters, beaders, scrapbookers, needle pointers ect. If one can, others can too. Totally unprofessional.


Only if your project takes over some one's space. I'm sure you didn't have your yarn spread across the table, that would be rude. And your eyes on the speaker.


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## gailbin (Jan 3, 2014)

The person who had the problem with you knitting at meetings - it is that--their problem!

To not have you on an executive board for such a petty reason sounds like jealousy or fear of your good work for the non-profit. Politics is my guess.

I would resign from the non-profit and find another non-profit that would not be so petty and discriminating.


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## mojac (Mar 21, 2014)

I WAS AT A STATE CONVENTION ONCE AND TOLD TO STOP KNITTING. I EXPLAINED THAT I FALL A SLEEP WHEN HANDS AREN'T DOING SOMETHING BUT I GUARANTEE MY EARS ARE LISTENING. i WAS LATER ELECTED TO THE STATE BOARD AND AT THE FIRST MEETING WITH INTRODUCTIONS I MADE THE SAME SPEECH. NOTHING WAS EVER SAID AND I PARTICIPATED TO MY FULLEST FOR THE TWO YEARS I COULD SERVE. I MADE A LOT OF SWEATERS FOR BABIES AT THE HOSPITAL IN THAT TIME.


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## gailbin (Jan 3, 2014)

and not look back


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## Laddie (Mar 17, 2013)

So are you saying that just because you can knit and pay attention to your surroundings it's ok to knit at a business meeting and that you are above other board members?


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## Tavenner (Aug 24, 2013)

I'm an RN and Family Nurse Practitioner combined practice for the past 45 years, having retired 18 mo. ago. I've knitted everywhere including professional meetings and conferences and it has increased my focus in those settings. I knit something "easy and mindless" and am still able to take notes and absorb material and participate in discussions. Many doctors, NPs and PAs at conferences/meetings do needlepoint, knit and crochet, etc. I, too, tend to focus less, my mind tends to wander, and I get "antsy" when I have to sit w/o busy hands. If this was an issue for ONE person, the individual should have spoken to you personally and/or the executive board member(s) could have discussed this w/you as well before making such a decision. Poor management and bias, I say.


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## owlet (Aug 18, 2013)

Do all you people who can take notes while knitting have more than the average number of hands?


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## Luv2knit2 (Aug 25, 2013)

Retired RN. Many meetings over the years. Have always run it past the speaker or leader. Occasionally asked to not knit. Most if the time no issue. If it's not distracting the person in charge who else matters?

Yes, occasionally someone has made a negative comment but when I explain I'm ADD and knitting keeps me from making irritating noises, wiggling, etc that has usually solved the issue. 

I'm sorry you were treated unfairly but most groups seem to have some party pooper. Hope you can find out who it is and find something to irritate them in some other more socially acceptable way- finger drumming, leg swinging, fidgeting, paper shuffling. Knitting caps for neonates, chemo caps, armed forces- make them feel guilty. 

Well practiced rabble rouser. Happy knitting.


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## mea (Jan 21, 2011)

I'm with the people who feel it's unprofessional to knit during meetings, regardless of the knitter's reasons (unless it's accepted and OK'd beforehand).

I just wonder what the whole story is. What did the chairman say when you asked why you were not told one member was bothered by it?

I think if your input and observations were so great, and you were the best candidate, they would have put you on the executive board. I can't see the conversation going "Marimom is perfect for the position, but her knitting bothers Susie." They would have put you on the board and asked you to stop knitting. So maybe there were multiple qualified candidates, and your knitting tipped the scales against you. Either way, knitting during a meeting where you're expected to give as well as receive gives an image of someone who isn't serious.


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## randiejg (Oct 29, 2011)

It may seem as if you aren't taking the meetings seriously, or giving your full attention to what's going on. I remember one person I worked with that sat and filed her nails at every meeting. There were plenty of "behind her back" comments about this.


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## oannejay (Apr 12, 2012)

Bring a crochet project to the next meeting, only kidding. 

Wearing a see through blouse would be distracting. So is the way some people chew gum, people coughing is distracting. We can't be often by everything. No one is being hurt by her knitting, in fact she might be helping others with her projects. Ask if there is a memo about it.


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## SAMkewel (Mar 5, 2011)

Laddie said:


> So are you saying that just because you can knit and pay attention to your surroundings it's ok to knit at a business meeting and that you are above other board members?


I am not above the other board members, and the other board members are not above me--unless you're going for mob rule here.


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## normancha (May 27, 2013)

marimom said:


> I just had to vent about this. I am on the Board of a prestigious nonprofit agency and I requested a position on the Executive Board. Now I have been knitting small projects at meetings for years and years and no one has complained. Needless to say, I was not put on the EB and when I said something to the head of the Board, I was told that there was one negative comment - my knitting was a distraction to one person.
> I just said "Why didn't the person say something to me and I would have either stopped knitting or sat far, far away from whomever?"
> Really upset me as I have been a good contributer at all meetings and in committees.
> What should I do now? Resign from the Board? Stop knitting at meetings (although the damage is already done)?
> ...


What I would do: Resign from the Board.


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## MrsBearstalker (Aug 11, 2011)

CBratt said:


> I personally cannot concentrate on my knitting AND take in whatever else is going on around me so I would not be knitting at board meetings, during work hours, in church, etc.
> 
> For folks who do not knit and never have, I can see how they would think it inappropriate to knit at a committee meeting and I guess it could be a distraction.
> 
> Just my humble opinion and not meant to offend anyone!


I have to agree with you here. When I was working, if I'd seen someone knitting in a meeting, I would have thought they were expecting to be so bored with the meeting that they needed something else to do. And when I'm knitting even simple things while watching TV, my knitting grabs my attention and I have to hit the DVR back button to catch up on my TV show. Original poster is no doubt a lot smarter than I am and can concentrate on two things at once, but most of us cannot do that.


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## dotcarp2000 (Sep 5, 2011)

gclemens said:


> If you seriously want this position, get a lawyer. Discrimination is illegal even in non-profits.


If I ever tried knitting in a meeting of any kind and then got an attorney to defend such a ridiculous thing, I would deserve to be put out even quicker.


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## CopperEagle (Dec 10, 2013)

I agree that knitting at a meeting could be perceived as lack of attention to the meeting. Knitting would not be appropriate it in a work situation nor in any meeting where you are there for that meeting. Going to a handicrafter's meeting where all are invited to bring a project to work on would be different. Sorry, I feel that knitting (or any craft) is not appropriate at a meeting.


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## owlet (Aug 18, 2013)

dotcarp2000 said:


> If I ever tried knitting in a meeting of any kind and then got an attorney to defend such a ridiculous thing, I would deserve to be put out even quicker.


  :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## taborhills (Sep 8, 2012)

"Anyway I am really upset about this." Marimom

People who "upset" us are our teachers, from whom we can learn. That is, by reflecting on our own reactions, our thoughts and feelings, we learn a broader view of life, beyond our personal reactivity.

Practicing doing this makes it easier and faster. One need not be indefinitely defensive and upset. Reactions need not be permanent. Wisdom is what we
want, not staying stuck in one position. Best wishes as you reflect on all this.


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## Englishknitter (Oct 13, 2012)

I would want to throw my teddy out and resign out of spite but the question you need to ask yourself is would you miss those meetings? Once you leave you cannot go back. I would have 7 or 14 sleeps over this issue and then make a decision. Knee jerk reaction can lead to the wrong decision. If you carry on then do you continue knitting at the meetings? I think you need to make this decision after careful thought. Not sure if you will ever get on the executive board as you have a black mark against you now. I think others will feel knitting means you are not fully concentrating on the meeting.


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## AMadknitter (Apr 21, 2013)

I regularly knit at meetings. It allows me to concentrate on the event and therefore be a better contributor to the program. I would say their loss!! You obviously have something to contribute. I would offer your talents elsewhere.


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## marimom (Aug 27, 2011)

You are soo right. I do wish I had never started this. As you can see, I do contribute a great deal in the meetings and I do keep my knitting below the table. I am ADD and knitting actually helps me to concentrate.
I am considering bringing this up to the EB but then I may offend someone who has been on the Board for less than a year and is already on the EB and whom I never heard say anything during meetings.
It seems like I am in a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situation.



talbotsetters said:


> I bet Marimom wishes she'd never started this! Some of the remarks are, at best, hurtful and, at worst, plain nasty! Sheesh...


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## Jlee2dogs (Apr 24, 2013)

I agree with Kathleen218. As a board member of a non-profit, and a business owner, I want the full attention of my fellow board members and my employees at meetings. I also know that when I knit, it requires my attention - and multi-tasking is not all it's cracked up to be.
I suggest that if you want to be taken more seriously, don't knit at the meetings.


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## Musemom (Nov 6, 2013)

Everyone is different. Studies have shown that for some people doodling or knitting enhances concentration on other things. I was a doodler. Having someone knit at a meeting would not bother me as much as the person in my office who used to bring other work with her during meetings. She was praised for being efficient but I always thought it was rather rude. I agree that it is unfortunate that you discovered that it bothered someone in such a matter. I do not think it would be unprofessional for you to express your concerns that evidently there are soom issues with how problems are dealt with in this organization and possibly suggest there be some training on how to approach and deal with issues on a more professional basis. That is to say, you can't fix something that is broken unless you know it is broken. And that problems can easily be dealt with in private and with respect between persons working toward a common goal. I am sorry you found this to be a problem in this manner and feel the organization has lost a valuable worker. Not easy to find these days. Good luck.


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## alidakyle (Dec 20, 2011)

Ciyona said:


> So true Nit Witty, and like everything there is a time and place to do them. How would you feel if your doctor's chose to knit instead of doing your surgery? Just and example.


What does that have to do with the discussion on hand? Her knitting was not preventing her from doing her job there. Your comparison it trite and irrelevant.


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## alidakyle (Dec 20, 2011)

SAMkewel said:


> So you are saying that your assumptions trump her realty? Then you must think there is only one right way for everyone to be.


   :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## alidakyle (Dec 20, 2011)

mirium said:


> Seems to me there are several things going on all at once:
> 
> Others' perception that when you're knitting, you're paying less attention to the meeting.
> 
> ...


 :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## laceweight (Jun 20, 2011)

I think the complainer needs to take up knitting! If she did, she would find the wayward part of her mind would be occupied and that then the meeting would have her full attention. Obviously, her attention is not on the meeting, either!

I like to knit during meetings because it keeps my wayward mind focused on the business of the meeting, not on what I might make for dinner, the odd garment another person is wearing, errands I need to run, etc. I agree, to others it may seem like I'm distracted and not attending to the business at hand, and could appear rude. I know that when I knit my mind is present in that moment, when not knitting my face looks attentive but my mind is anywhere and everywhere else.

A rapt face doesn't mean that someone is at home in there!

I'm sorry this person blocked your position on the board. It does seem unfair that her mind problems curtailed the valuable contributions you can make.


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## kneonknitter (Feb 10, 2011)

nrc1940 said:


> This is just my opinion so take it with a grain of salt, but I certainly would not give up knitting to please one person. I can't wrap my mind around how knitting could be distracting. Maybe I've been knitting so long that I can't see the other side of the equation.


 :thumbup:


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## neelia (Mar 28, 2011)

Found your comments interesting. If you ever had an occasion to attend, an A.A. meeting for family members of an alcoholic, they have the same restriction. No knitting during the discussion, I guess coffee time would be o k. Neelia


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## Elder Ellen (Mar 9, 2013)

When I was a child, I used to bite my fingernails and tap my foot. This annoyed my mother, no end. She told me that if I had to have a nervous habit to make it something productive, so I took up knitting. 
You have my permission to borrow my excuse any time. Knitting has been my nervous habit of choice ever since I was a teen -- about 75 years.


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## MaryCarter (Oct 17, 2011)

I am TOTALLY amazed that you were ever allowed to knit during board meetings......of course it would be distracting to the other board members. If you are really serious about getting on to the executive I would stop knitting at future board meetings. This way they will see that you a) listened to their concerns, and b) are serious about wanting the position, and may consider you for it next time it becomes vacant. Don't hold a grudge against the other members, you are there to help them in their work, and you obviously enjoyed doing that before this happened. I am sorry that you missed out, as this is obviously important to you......hence your post. Hugs


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## knitminnie (Jan 29, 2011)

There are many reasons why someone will knit while at a meeting or conference. For me, it keeps my hands focused. If I am not knitting, taking notes, doodling, etc. I will pick at my fingers until they will bleed. While this may not be a concern to some it is to me. It is rather like seeing someone parking in a handicap spot and saying they don't look handicapped to me. Well, you really don't know what problem the person has. It may not be visual. In your case, I wouldn't take it personal. There is always someone out there who is trying to monitor everyone else when they really should monitor themselves. I would keep on knitting just for the heck of it. BTW I always take my knitting with me where ever I go. I call these projects my no brainer projects. The more complicated projects I do at home. Like the others, this is just my opinion and like noses, we all have one.


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## Elder Ellen (Mar 9, 2013)

neelia said:


> Found your comments interesting. If you ever had an occasion to attend, an A.A. meeting for family members of an alcoholic, they have the same restriction. No knitting during the discussion, I guess coffee time would be o k. Neelia


This must be a local rule. Don't count on it at all meetings.


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## fstknitter (Apr 8, 2012)

Not really appropriate to knit at meetings. I had a college professor that objected to knitting but people were allowed to bring their dogs. Try taking notes when someone's German shepherd is nudging you to pet them. Go figure


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## astridJ (Mar 7, 2012)

If I was not put on the board and was given the reason that it was because of my knitting, I would think that that was not true. Maybe there is some other reason that you are not being informed of.


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## SAMkewel (Mar 5, 2011)

AMadknitter said:


> I regularly knit at meetings. It allows me to concentrate on the event and therefore be a better contributor to the program. I would say their loss!! You obviously have something to contribute. I would offer your talents elsewhere.


I agree, and I would look for a group in which conformity is not the major goal. It's sad that people assume we're bored, etc., when we are only trying to function at our peak. I could assume that those who conform to the "rules" are more interested in what others think than in the business at hand--but I don't.


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## SAMkewel (Mar 5, 2011)

knitminnie said:


> There are many reasons why someone will knit while at a meeting or conference. For me, it keeps my hands focused. If I am not knitting, taking notes, doodling, etc. I will pick at my fingers until they will bleed. While this may not be a concern to some it is to me. It is rather like seeing someone parking in a handicap spot and saying they don't look handicapped to me. Well, you really don't know what problem the person has. It may not be visual. In your case, I wouldn't take it personal. There is always someone out there who is trying to monitor everyone else when they really should monitor themselves. I would keep on knitting just for the heck of it. BTW I always take my knitting with me where ever I go. I call these projects my no brainer projects. The more complicated projects I do at home. Like the others, this is just my opinion and like noses, we all have one.


Well said.


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## SAMkewel (Mar 5, 2011)

Elder Ellen said:


> When I was a child, I used to bite my fingernails and tap my foot. This annoyed my mother, no end. She told me that if I had to have a nervous habit to make it something productive, so I took up knitting.
> You have my permission to borrow my excuse any time. Knitting has been my nervous habit of choice ever since I was a teen -- about 75 years.


And you survived all those naysayers. Good for you!


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## SAMkewel (Mar 5, 2011)

marimom said:


> You are soo right. I do wish I had never started this. As you can see, I do contribute a great deal in the meetings and I do keep my knitting below the table. I am ADD and knitting actually helps me to concentrate.
> I am considering bringing this up to the EB but then I may offend someone who has been on the Board for less than a year and is already on the EB and whom I never heard say anything during meetings.
> It seems like I am in a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situation.


Sadly, the people police have put you there. I'm glad to have all these insights regarding board meetings; I'll avoid them like the plague. You'd think there would be more important business there than picking at anyone who may be different in some way, but apparently not.


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## SAMkewel (Mar 5, 2011)

laceweight said:


> I think the complainer needs to take up knitting! If she did, she would find the wayward part of her mind would be occupied and that then the meeting would have her full attention. Obviously, her attention is not on the meeting, either!
> 
> I like to knit during meetings because it keeps my wayward mind focused on the business of the meeting, not on what I might make for dinner, the odd garment another person is wearing, errands I need to run, etc. I agree, to others it may seem like I'm distracted and not attending to the business at hand, and could appear rude. I know that when I knit my mind is present in that moment, when not knitting my face looks attentive but my mind is anywhere and everywhere else.
> 
> ...


You've made some excellent points here, I especially love your line about the rapt face. It's right on!


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## Tavenner (Aug 24, 2013)

Not I - have the standard 8 fingers & 2 thumbs. However, since I'm paying attention, I stop knitting when I need to note something & do so by writing it down on my pad !


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## knitpick (Apr 21, 2011)

quite some time ago I was asked not to knit at Bible studies because they thought it would cause peoples attention to stray including mine. Needless to say where I hadn't started yet I didn't knit


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## knitpick (Apr 21, 2011)

quite some time ago I was asked not to knit at Bible studies because they thought it would cause peoples attention to stray including mine. Needless to say where I hadn't started yet I didn't knit


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## LunaDragon (Sep 8, 2012)

Hello, It seems to me the person who complained has the issue as it has been proven people who doodle and keep their minds busy listen and absorbed more than the person worrying about what some one else is doing. Also, those meetings are long I would fall asleep if I had nothing to do. As some one pointed out it takes more than one person to keep you off the board. I believe it is a excuse.


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## knittykitty (Mar 22, 2011)

I usually tell people I don't knit with my ears. I can hear what is said and even understand it. Some folks are so prejudiced about hand work. Multitasking is what most women do. 

kk


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## knitpick (Apr 21, 2011)

quite some time ago I was asked not to knit at Bible studies because they thought it would cause peoples attention to stray including mine. Needless to say where I hadn't started yet I didn't knit


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## MaryCarter (Oct 17, 2011)

owlet said:


> I wouldn't call any of them hurtful or nasty, just honest and considered opinions. People asking for comments have to expect many points of view to be put forward, not just the ones in agreement.


 :thumbup:


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## Connie W (Aug 3, 2011)

. My brain wanders if I just sit. Knitting (Mindless project) helps keep me focused. There are studies that support this.


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## dion russell (May 12, 2014)

This is volatile issue. How and why is your work on the EB important that you should give up knitting at meetings? Is being on the EB as fulfilling for you as your knitting? This seems to be the choice you have to make.

Too, someone has mentioned ours is a volatile time. People are angry and feel they feel they can do nothing. Little issues like this one--become fronts for greater frustrations. This one can be resolved by bringing the issue before the EB director for consideration. 

Often people don't want wish to be openly known for their opinions and so approach someone like the director of the EB. The EB director should have had both you and your critic meet w/ him/her. Perhaps this might have defused and resolved the issue. Better: ask then to be put on the agenda of the next meeting. State clearly and briefly your concerns and ask for the EB's response to the Director's decision.

If the result is favorable to you, knit and be sure to make apt remarks and constructive criticism. If the result is against knitting, you are back to square one above. 

Whatever you do, keep knitting!


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## Connie W (Aug 3, 2011)

knittykitty said:


> I usually tell people I don't knit with my ears. I can hear what is said and even understand it. Some folks are so prejudiced about hand work. Multitasking is what most women do.
> 
> kk


Heartily agree. Love your line about the ears.


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## SAMkewel (Mar 5, 2011)

dion russell said:


> This is volatile issue. How and why is your work on the EB important that you should give up knitting at meetings? Is being on the EB as fulfilling for you as your knitting? This seems to be the choice you have to make.
> 
> Too, someone has mentioned ours is a volatile time. People are angry and feel they feel they can do nothing. Little issues like this one--become fronts for greater frustrations. This one can be resolved by bringing the issue before the EB director for consideration.
> 
> ...


This reminds me of the time one of the members of my now former church congregation went to the director of our Public Health Department to say that I was not suitable to be a member of the County AIDS Task Force and/or Support Group because I was being treated for STD's at the PHD. The actual person she was referring to was half my age and a former step-DIL who often used my name (hers was similar) to get my bill payments applied to her account. Do you suppose I ever got an apology? It makes me wonder how many other folks she gave this false information to. She, by the way, was employed by the PHD and had every reason to have read the records correctly, including a totally different address. There is no explaining some people.


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## Norma B. (Oct 15, 2012)

Kathleen218 said:


> Just my opinion....I've been at meetings where someone was knitting and felt they were not giving their full attention to the matter at hand for the meeting, so that was a distraction for me. Most meetings ran 1-1-1/2 hrs, I would have appreciated the full attention of the attendees....as I said just my opinion.


I have to say this is a very fair comment. I know personally I could never pay attention while knitting----have a hard time doing it with anything else happening around me because I make lots of mistakes if I'm distracted therefore it DOES take all my concentration. So I would never even try. Again, and this is very personal, I really don't think it's polite to knit in such situations. I would hate to have someone knitting while I'm trying to have a conversation with them (or preside at a meeting or preach a sermon) because it's a known fact that the human mind can process only one thought at a time, and they won't be paying attention. It equates to having someone take a cell phone call! Having said this, I would hope that I'd have the gumption to say something or just leave (the conversation, the meeting, whatever, as obviously I'm not important to the knitter).


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## Yahoo (Mar 29, 2014)

Just let it go. Continue on the board and knit of you are comfortable with it.


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## Mmeth (Nov 3, 2013)

I knit at mtgs. When I think I am going to be bored...it is the only thing that stops me from being rude to those wh go on and on about trivial stuff!! I have never been asked to stop.....


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## gma11331 (Oct 18, 2011)

neelia said:


> Found your comments interesting. If you ever had an occasion to attend, an A.A. meeting for family members of an alcoholic, they have the same restriction. No knitting during the discussion, I guess coffee time would be o k. Neelia


My DD is active in AA and she knits at meetings, as do a number of other members...Guess it depends on the group.


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## Elin (Sep 17, 2011)

I'm with Kathleen 218. Just because we enjoy knitting doesn't mean we should feel free to knit wherever and whenever we please. There are other important things to do besides knitting. Put down the needles for the two hours and show how attentive you are.


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## normancha (May 27, 2013)

gma11331 said:


> My DD is active in AA and she knits at meetings, as do a number of other members...Guess it depends on the group.


I remember that in the 1980s I used to listen to a radio talk show psychologist, and one day she said that she knitted during some classes, and one time a Professor asked her to stop knitting, because that equated to be mas------ing. She then responded: "Professor, when I knit, I knit. When I mas-----te, I mas-----te".


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## rasputin (Apr 21, 2013)

beachknit said:


> Knitting interferes with eye contact and personal interaction. I can see how that could potentially distract others. Personally I think the role of a member of any committee is to focus on the matters, and people, at hand and not give the appearance of less-than-professional inattention by performing another task like knitting. After all, how can you maintain eye contact with each person speaking if you are looking down at your knitting? And if you are not making eye contact with others then you are not fully engaged in the conversation, or certainly giving the impression to others that you are not.


One time a friend of mine was at a board meeting and she was knitting. After the meeting was over she said to me "geeze these people are not very friendly"... I didn't say anything. But I wanted to say that if she put the knitting down and looked at people may be they would have talked to her.


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## caligrlknits (May 6, 2013)

I'll speak just for myself. I am one of those unlucky persons that has a hard time concentrating, I love knitting, but it is a distraction for me to have some one knitting while a meeting is going on. I have to be honest here in hopes that it can help others understand. There is a time and place for everything and meetings, that aren't pertaining to knitting are not the place to be knitting.


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## Gabriell (Sep 13, 2011)

When I posted a comment, I mistakenly said knitting group but meant book group.I think that woman wanted attention. I'm the only one who acknowledged her blanket.It was very well done.


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## immunurse (May 2, 2011)

A couple who have been friends of ours for decades told us about a situation like this. He husband was on the Condo Association Board and he complained to his wife about another Board member who knit during meetings, thinking it was rude and it meant she wasn't paying attention.

His wife straightened him out. As others have pointed out, knitting is no more rude than twirling one's hair, doodling or even jiggling one's foot. And, indeed, many knitters actually can listen and concentrate when knitting. But there are many people out there who don't understand this and maybe those of us who choose to knit at a meeting might bring it up, asking if anyone has any questions or doesn't understand how a knitter's mind works.

Meanwhile, Marimom, can you find out who it was who blackballed you and try to explain to them?


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## gina (Jan 18, 2011)

Last year I attended a lecture by Maya Angelou and was horrified to see how many grown-ups were playing on their phones the whole time. It was stadium seating, and there was a sea of bright lights in front of us. I'&#314;l bet those people would tell you that they heard it all and gave Ms. Angelou their undivided attention, too.

I think its impolite to knit at business meetings, and that's what the committee meeting is.

Probably one person brought it up initially, and then others agreed.

I think if a person can't concentrate or focus on the proceedings without another activity, they are probably not the best choice for the position.


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## elproct (Nov 24, 2012)

For some, besides appearing not fully attentive, knitting or crocheting can be as irritating as gum chewing can be. There is a bit of clicking noise and considerable movement with both. I have knitted at meetings if I were in the back, but now that I am on the executive board, I do not. Someone chewing gum drives me crazy if I must sit near them as in church or a meeting. I guess we all are different , and need to be considerate of others.


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## Ariadne (Aug 14, 2013)

One thing I have noticed as time passes by: Folks stereotype a person who knits as a little old lady who can't do anything else. I am a professional and it's just funny and irritating to me at the same time. It's a woman thing and therefore trivial. I know some men knit, but in general this is true. 
Also, these days few people even know how to cook! They do not relate to creative activities and are pretty judgmental about them without really understanding at all. They seem to consider knitting as disrespectful or not paying attention.
Just got jury duty instructions that I can't bring knitting needles (I can stab someone with them). Well, I didn't consider it before, but...... : )


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## taborhills (Sep 8, 2012)

Ariadne the arachnid, an active artist....


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## StaceyK (Aug 2, 2013)

Some people are just jealous of those who can multi-task. Their loss.


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## Lrushefsky (Feb 6, 2011)

marimom said:


> I just had to vent about this. I am on the Board of a prestigious nonprofit agency and I requested a position on the Executive Board. Now I have been knitting small projects at meetings for years and years and no one has complained. Needless to say, I was not put on the EB and when I said something to the head of the Board, I was told that there was one negative comment - my knitting was a distraction to one person.
> I just said "Why didn't the person say something to me and I would have either stopped knitting or sat far, far away from whomever?"
> Really upset me as I have been a good contributer at all meetings and in committees.
> What should I do now? Resign from the Board? Stop knitting at meetings (although the damage is already done)?
> ...


Keep knitting and suggest a silent action of lovely knits and crafts and art . Also find a different seat. I was told I could not knit a staff meeting by boss. I stopped , also stopped contributing for schools silent action. Last year my blanket came in at $300.00 dollars for the school. This year people asked me to again kinit for the school. Suggest boss find someone else. Interesting parents said my knitting after school club was the the one most boy and girls liked. Parents like that knitting helped their math skills and abillity to make something for others . good luck Happy knitting Linda


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## AMadknitter (Apr 21, 2013)

I do not have to look at my hands when I knit. I knit in movie theaters all of the time. So I do look at the speaker when I am at a meeting. Many people doodle or draw which means they are certainly not paying attention by using eye contact. To each his own.


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## jheiens (Jan 20, 2011)

lazbones said:


> You are there to serve on a board, not to knit. You cannot have your FULL attention on the issues at hand while you are knitting.


Says who?????

Many knitters are better able to concentrate on the topics under discussion because their minds are better able to focus because the knitting keeps them from jumping around in their thoughts.


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## iShirl (Jun 30, 2012)

I do love my knitting/crocheting hobby but I must comment here. 

I am the President of a charitable foundation with 7 board members. When a board member is otherwise busy, it sends a message of non-participation. We are all volunteers but that doesn't mean I should accept inattention. I feel I should have the respect of eye contact with all board members.


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## StaceyK (Aug 2, 2013)

Sylvia Campbell, my teacher in the early 80's, who wrote many books on various crafts along with how to make money with your knitting, would have encouraged knitting where ever you were, including lectures and talks that even she gave, herself. And she was a professional.


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## gma11331 (Oct 18, 2011)

StaceyK said:


> Sylvia Campbell, my teacher in the early 80's, who wrote many books on various crafts along with how to make money with your knitting, would have encouraged knitting where ever you were, including lectures and talks that even she gave, herself. And she was a professional.


I took a couple of her classes her in Marin years ago. Did needlepoint as well as mosaic knitting.Surprised when I saw her name. It was probably in the 70's when she was here.


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## Designer1234 (Aug 9, 2011)

I have family members who, when they visit are looking at their telephones and sometimes even playing games . One plays 24 hour chess with his friend and is checking it every five minutes, yet he seems to be involved in the conversations-- I just find it difficult to not be bothered by his seemingly lack of interest. I used to knit in our meetings and one day after watching this young man I asked at the meeting if anyone was bothered by my knitting - two put up their hands and said they felt it showed a lack of interest in what was happeing at the meeting. I changed my mind about knitting at the meetings as it bothered me when this young man didn't appear to be paying attention. 

That is just me -- I knit waiting in Dr.s offices, on buses and just about everywhere but not in a meeting.


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## knittingdragon (Jun 15, 2012)

If ONE person didn't like you knitting and didn't want to say something TO YOU, they should have mentioned something to the chairperson who could have taken it further - if they felt it needed to be taken further. I also think it is a bit lame for one person's attitude to stop you from getting a place on the Board. Obviously there is something else going on here. If you have been doing your knitting for so long with no problems, then I would be looking at something far deeper. Maybe there were others who didn't like it but were too spineless to say something (and obviously still are). 

For everyone's information - I take in more when I'm knitting. I concentrate better and for much longer. 

My advice would be to give your support to something else more deserving of the time and effort you are prepared to give. Like someone else already said - their loss.


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## felix (Jul 13, 2011)

times have changed since the 70's....80's....wake up


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## Elder Ellen (Mar 9, 2013)

AMadknitter said:


> I do not have to look at my hands when I knit. I knit in movie theaters all of the time. So I do look at the speaker when I am at a meeting. Many people doodle or draw which means they are certainly not paying attention by using eye contact. To each his own.


I remember leaving the theater after seeing the movie, Doctor Zhivago. It was a hot summer night and I was freezing while clutching a navy blue sock, still on double point needles; it had grown to be a couple feet long during the film. That was one long cold winter and I had kept on knitting and shivering throughout all four hours of it.


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## Sumacsew (Sep 17, 2012)

I think many people are kinesthetic learners and actually pay better attention when keeping their hands busy. That said, it is completely frowned upon in my profession( nursing) at meetings, and is seen as unprofessional. I opt out of knitting while at work.


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## guiding light (Jun 1, 2013)

I have a word for your situation: " Attorney"
Mention it around the right people (the ones with the power) and see how it's received.


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## gma11331 (Oct 18, 2011)

guiding light said:


> I have a word for your situation: " Attorney"
> Mention it around the right people (the ones with the power) and see how it's received.


I don't think it would be very pleasant working with people if you had to sue them to obtain the opportunity. As I understand it, this is a volunteer venture, not a corporate job where you are being passed over for an earned advancement.


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## momofzman (Sep 27, 2012)

I find I have to knit in order to concentrate. I am a court reporter, and unless my hands are moving, I'm not listening, but I suppose it is distracting to other people, especially ones that don't understand knitting in the first place. Sorry they didn't feel as though they could talk to you about it first. That would have been the simpler and more polite solution.


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## mojac (Mar 21, 2014)

At one of our faculty meetings we had a speaker who addressed this very subject. She handed a ball of clay to everyone and told them to play with it while she spoke. She talked about people not listening when they did other things and said this was false. She was a well known speaker in the education field. The only thing she said she didn't like to see people do was clean out their purse. She then went on with her topic of the day with all of us playing with clay.


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## joycevv (Oct 13, 2011)

I think people that don't knit have no idea how calming (and focusing) it can be. If I have to sit in a meeting for over an hour without something in my hands it is torture. I can pay more attention to what is being said when I'm not stressed. But I know some people think it is unprofessional, especially the robotic stuffed shirt types!


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## StaceyK (Aug 2, 2013)

gma11331 said:


> I took a couple of her classes her in Marin years ago. Did needlepoint as well as mosaic knitting.Surprised when I saw her name. It was probably in the 70's when she was here.


As far as I know, she is still living in the same house just down the street where I grew up. She is retired now. I practically owe my life to her....knitting has been at times my only reason for living!


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## guiding light (Jun 1, 2013)

I believe U must advocate for yourself when U feel U have been the victim of injustice. I agree with knitting dragon...there is more to this than just one person saying he/she are "distracted by your knitting." Yes it is a lame excuse for one person to have the power to keep U out. As women we are expected to be grateful for whatever bone is thrown our way. I say, talk to an attorney and find out if there is a remedy. You deserve better than the way U were treated.


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## kwright (Mar 16, 2012)

I have not read all twenty pages yet, but I am retired. I used to take my knitting with me on days when we had training at school. During the breaks and at the beginnings and ends of the meetings, I would knit. If I found that I needed to take notes, I put the knitting up. There were times when I paid and went to trainings on Saturdays. I took my knitting. I generally sat down near the front, to make it easier to hear. I would be glued listening to the speaker, while my hands worked the needles. My hands know the pattern without looking at it. It became a thing of interest with the host speaker over several years, as he recognized me and knew I would be knitting, but he, also, knew that I would be hanging on every word he said. 

We all have our opinions. Make your own decision, and do what is best for you. All circumstances are different. You are an intelligent person who has given much. Do they value you as a person? Do they value your opinions? Who is the person behind the thrown so to speak? Who orchestrated it? If you were 'black balled,' maybe it was the person who got the position. Maybe 'black balled' is the wrong term, I can't think of any other way to express it.


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## mea (Jan 21, 2011)

iShirl said:


> I am the President of a charitable foundation with 7 board members. When a board member is otherwise busy, it sends a message of non-participation. We are all volunteers but that doesn't mean I should accept inattention. I feel I should have the respect of eye contact with all board members.


EXACTLY. I'm surprised so many don't understand that it's not about whether you CAN knit and pay attention, it's about whether you should.


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## Ciyona (Jan 17, 2011)

That is not how I see it at all. But apparently some people think that I am saying there is only one way to do things. I was taught very good work ethics by some very wonderful people. As much as I like to knit I would never take my hobby to a meeting when my attention needs to be on the work at hand. And as usual I have become a target for everyone because my opinons don't mean squat. So this will be good bye and while you my see me reading posts I will no longer respond to them or any pm's I am tried of being targeted on this site. I remember when you have stood up for me now you are assuming that I think I am right and there is only one way when I am not saying that at all. I made my apologies for my opinon now I will leave this site behind.


SAMkewel said:


> So you are saying that your assumptions trump her realty? Then you must think there is only one right way for everyone to be.


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## Norma B. (Oct 15, 2012)

gma11331 said:


> I don't think it would be very pleasant working with people if you had to sue them to obtain the opportunity. As I understand it, this is a volunteer venture, not a corporate job where you are being passed over for an earned advancement.


Absolutely agree!!! What a litigious society we live in. Something doesn't suit you? SUE! Oh my.


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## Patrowhar (Nov 15, 2013)

marimom said:


> I just had to vent about this. I am on the Board of a prestigious nonprofit agency and I requested a position on the Executive Board. Now I have been knitting small projects at meetings for years and years and no one has complained. Needless to say, I was not put on the EB and when I said something to the head of the Board, I was told that there was one negative comment - my knitting was a distraction to one person.
> I just said "Why didn't the person say something to me and I would have either stopped knitting or sat far, far away from whomever?"
> Really upset me as I have been a good contributer at all meetings and in committees.
> What should I do now? Resign from the Board? Stop knitting at meetings (although the damage is already done)?
> ...


I agree with this post
Maybe a letter to the board stating just what you said in your initial post, that you are a valuable contributer and what a waste it would be to lose you when the "distracted" person could just have told you in private and you could have dealt with the situation on that level. By the way, podcaster Heather Ordover of the "Craftlit" podcast has published a paper on how working on something like knitting while attending meetings actually positively impacts the knitters attention to the discussion at hand.

I find when I am knitting I hear everything going on. When I am not knitting my thoughts wonder a lot and I am not as attentive. Knitting helps me to listen. Mom and I used to say, if they would let us bring our knitting to Church we wouldn't miss anything being said.

It is funny how everybody can be texting, etc, and they don't overlooked!!!!!
For positions, etc.

Knitting relaxes a person and makes them aware of their surroundings.

All the best to you. Am sure you would be an asset to them.


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## pengwensgranny (Aug 3, 2011)

We are all knitters/crocheters on the KP fellowship, but I am always amazed how many members feel that they have a God given right to knit where ever they please regardless of what others around may feel or think.

As far as I am concerned, the only place I have that right is in my own home, and only then if I don't have visitors. If I am visiting family for a prolonged visit then I will take my knitting with me. Next week we are visiting our son in Alabama for eight days. I will have my knitting to do while he is at work. Depending what else he has planned, I may knit for short periods in the evenings. I wouldn't dream of knitting if he has company.


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## beachknit (Oct 25, 2011)

It is possible that the complainant's point was that the KNITTER was distracted NOT that the knitter was distracting them!


jonibee said:


> Sometimes we are unaware of what we are doing that may be a distraction to others. This should have not been the main reason for you not to be considered for the EB, but what you have brought to the meetings in the past. Now that the table has been set before you ..decide which is important to you..if it's both, then one has to be shelved when the meeting is called to order ..I know this has left a bitter taste in your mouth..but you must decide what is the next step. Hopefully you can get passed this overlook...


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## owlet (Aug 18, 2013)

pengwensgranny said:


> We are all knitters/crocheters on the KP fellowship, but I am always amazed how many members feel that they have a God given right to knit where ever they please regardless of what others around may feel or think.
> 
> As far as I am concerned, the only place I have that right is in my own home, and only then if I don't have visitors. If I am visiting family for a prolonged visit then I will take my knitting with me. Next week we are visiting our son in Alabama for eight days. I will have my knitting to do while he is at work. Depending what else he has planned, I may knit for short periods in the evenings. I wouldn't dream of knitting if he has company.


Agree with every word.

:thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## beachknit (Oct 25, 2011)

That is not really the point. It is the professional profile the board member should be portraying who is focusing attention on matters at hand. I don't think anyone can argue successfully that knitting at a meeting does not give the impression (i.e. PERCEPTION) that that person's attention is divided.


pinkladydew said:


> I am going to saythat some people concentrate better when they have something like knitting in their hands ....Not everyone has the same level of concentration , when sitting in church if I dont doodle I loose my concentration on what the pastor says ....so dont judge a person by what you preceive is the right way to pay attention!


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## rasputin (Apr 21, 2013)

Ariadne said:


> One thing I have noticed as time passes by: Folks stereotype a person who knits as a little old lady who can't do anything else. I am a professional and it's just funny and irritating to me at the same time. It's a woman thing and therefore trivial. I know some men knit, but in general this is true.
> Also, these days few people even know how to cook! They do not relate to creative activities and are pretty judgmental about them without really understanding at all. They seem to consider knitting as disrespectful or not paying attention.
> Just got jury duty instructions that I can't bring knitting needles (I can stab someone with them). Well, I didn't consider it before, but...... : )


Hey thanks for the advice. I have Jury Duty Tuesday and I think I will bring a knitting project while I'm waiting to be picked (or not) and never make eye contact with anyone.

;-)


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## Elder Ellen (Mar 9, 2013)

Has it ever occurred to anyone here that there was someone who the board felt was more qualified than the knitter? The person that commented might have felt that this was the kindest way of informing her of their selection. 

As for knitting at meetings, it might be wise to check out the situation before pulling out the yarn. If one were knitting before the meeting and tucked it away when the meeting started, the leader might either thank her for her attention, or, he/she might say that it's OK to continue knitting. Then again, the knitter could ask beforehand. If there was any hesitation on the part of the leader or the speaker, I'd leave the knitting tucked away -- at least, until there was a break. It might still be a good idea to socialize during the break rather than ignore the other attendants while "tending to my knitting". Situations can vary; however, if attending the meeting were part of my job, I would not be knitting. If I were attending as a volunteer to a non profit organization, I might take my knitting and check out the situation before pulling it out of my bag. In a rural or small town meeting, knitting might be more accepted than in a metropolitan setting. I'm saying that knitting during a meeting depends on a lot of things, primarily, common sense.


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## taborhills (Sep 8, 2012)

Elder Ellen said:


> Has it ever occurred to anyone here that there was someone who the board felt was more qualified than the knitter? The person that commented might have felt that this was the kindest way of informing her of their selection.


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## rderemer (Nov 13, 2012)

NRoberts said:


> The person who complained is a fool. Find an article detailing how knitting improves brain function can concentration; gives one "mindfulness." Send it to each and every Board Member. If you have the money, send it "certified" mail so you KNOW they received it.


Knitting may improve brain function and concentration but I think that means overall, not WHILE they're knitting.


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## owlet (Aug 18, 2013)

rderemer said:


> Knitting may improve brain function and concentration but I think that means overall, not WHILE they're knitting.


Of course it does!

:thumbup:


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## taborhills (Sep 8, 2012)

We may be missing the point here. The original complaint was, beneath the details, a cry of disappointment at rejection. We can all understand the pain of rejection; everyone in some way at some time has faced rejection. The way to get over rejection is *not* to imagine forcing the Others to accept one, in whatever way, on whatever grounds.

It is not headline news that we do not always get what we want. It is also not a disaster when we do not get what we had thought we had wanted. It is not a tragedy when our ambitions go unfulfilled. Each of us is just part of a big web, like one stitch in knitting. The others in the web have their own styles and ways and wishes, too. Let it be, without useless anger, and send those Others your best wishes. As we think our way through every painful experience, may we discover new happiness and ease, peace and purpose.


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## TarLanding (Feb 6, 2014)

I can't knit and attend meetings - attention deficit.

But I accompanied a friend to her doctor's appointment to have
"4 ears" to remember what was said. I was leafing thru a magazine so I didn't have to look at both persons to make either
uncomfortable - or so I thought. When the doctor asked for any questions, I asked one and he asked me how I could know what he had said, I was reading. I told him almost exactly what was said and he was ticked! So I guess I appeared to be disrespectful.

Just recalling what people do think from time to time.


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## mea (Jan 21, 2011)

I think writing a letter to the Executive Board is a good idea. It would give you time to clearly and calmly state your position, let them know how interested and qualified you are, and clear up questions about exactly why you weren't chosen, and what part your knitting played in that decision. A letter would also give them time to consider the matter as a group before responding. 

Whatever you do, please let us know, OK?

_________

Maybe these are "the olden days" as far as knitting in public goes. I remember when wearing tennis shoes anywhere other than a tennis court was considered odd. Now no one gives it a thought because they're better for your feet. There's so much talk about mental health now, and WE already know knitting can be great for your concentration. But we're still living with the stereotype of only old feeble ladies knit. 

As far as suing them, I laughed when I first read that, but that is often the best way to get attention to a cause. Maybe this would be a good one for Judge Judy. We could all appear as witnesses for you. :0)


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## Shirley Ray (Mar 3, 2011)

I have always knitted at meetings and found that it allows me to listen more fully. The knitting is mostly automatic with just enough distraction to keep any other thoughts except what is going on in the meeeting from interfering.

If someone has a problem with someone else knitting at meetings, it seems to me that the one who is not paying attention to the meeting is the one who is watching the knitter.


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## neelia (Mar 28, 2011)

Sometimes at meetings, I wish some of the ladies were knitting, paying attention, but not taking over the meeting with personal opinions and diverse subjects. Neelia


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## Janeway (Nov 22, 2011)

My opinion: The minorities are ruling the world we live in & I'm soooooo tired of that fact! I would reign immediately & let this narrow minded group do without you.

I was cheated out of several years service because of a "pet" person so after I left the group, the "pet" isn't the pet & I've been begged to return which I proudly said NO!

This is what is wrong with this world we live in today the minorities are trying to run everything but are failing miserably!

Stand tall my dear & leave this group & they will be sorry you left!


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## bizzyknitter (May 10, 2011)

Janeway said:


> My opinion: The minorities are ruling the world we live in & I'm soooooo tired of that fact! I would reign immediately & let this narrow minded group do without you.
> 
> I was cheated out of several years service because of a "pet" person so after I left the group, the "pet" isn't the pet & I've been begged to return which I proudly said NO!
> 
> ...


 :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## joycevv (Oct 13, 2011)

neelia said:


> Sometimes at meetings, I wish some of the ladies were knitting, paying attention, but not taking over the meeting with personal opinions and diverse subjects. Neelia


So true!!


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## bettyirene (Apr 5, 2012)

lazbones said:


> You are there to serve on a board, not to knit. You cannot have your FULL attention on the issues at hand while you are knitting.


Sorry, but I agree with this. Board meetings are NOT the place to knit (my personal opinion).


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## prolife (Aug 10, 2013)

Dear marimom,

Maybe the key word here is prestigious; you may be in a room full of v.i.p.s., nit pickers, and naysayers. It's a burden. 

Consider praying about it and then decide what you really wish to do. I knit without looking at mtgs. too. It's very soothing and I work very hard on all our group projects, about which we meet. jude


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## Boopers22 (Apr 24, 2014)

I'm a knitter and there are "appropriate" and "inappropriate" places to do your knitting. Sorry, but I don't think a business meeting falls in the category of "appropriate". I don't care if you are able to multi-task, it just appears rude and that you are not giving your full attention to the matters at hand. Put your knitting away and take care of your project later. Sorry that your hobby offended just one person, but I can understand a little. However, she/he should have confronted you in person.


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## SAMkewel (Mar 5, 2011)

joycevv said:


> I think people that don't knit have no idea how calming (and focusing) it can be. If I have to sit in a meeting for over an hour without something in my hands it is torture. I can pay more attention to what is being said when I'm not stressed. But I know some people think it is unprofessional, especially the robotic stuffed shirt types!


I couldn't help but :~D!


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## SAMkewel (Mar 5, 2011)

Ciyona said:


> That is not how I see it at all. But apparently some people think that I am saying there is only one way to do things. I was taught very good work ethics by some very wonderful people. As much as I like to knit I would never take my hobby to a meeting when my attention needs to be on the work at hand. And as usual I have become a target for everyone because my opinons don't mean squat. So this will be good bye and while you my see me reading posts I will no longer respond to them or any pm's I am tried of being targeted on this site. I remember when you have stood up for me now you are assuming that I think I am right and there is only one way when I am not saying that at all. I made my apologies for my opinon now I will leave this site behind.


There is no reason for you to feel you have to apologize for your opinions. Neither is anyone always right, including me. As I said earlier, I do NOT knit outside of my home because I cannot split my attention that way, but I don't assume that my way is the only right way nor do I think in terms of everyone must be exactly the same. I think that's a bit cruel for folks with ADHD and that we should all learn to be a little more tolerant. Believe me, I've been a target most of my life because I'm different through no choice of my own. I also think it unwise for you to retreat, it isn't healthy for either one of us. There is always a risk in expressing an opinion; it's one of the ways we learn. Learning and growing can be painful, as you and I both know from our life experiences, but that doesn't mean it is bad or that you are not valued. I would say that 99 times out of 100, I am completely ignored on this forum, and that's unfortunate because there is no exchange of ideas or thoughts or feelings, we simply choose to hide behind silence rather than take the risk to be genuine. I admire, and have always admired, your willingness to put yourself out there for what you think. I try to do the same, and if folks choose to ignore me, that's not my problem. At least I don't, nor would I ever, ignore you. Differ with you, yes, but ignore you, no. I respect you too much for that.

While I will honor your present desire not to be PMed, I hope you will change your mind so that we can talk this out to your satisfaction. If you are willing to do that, PM me. If you aren't, then I'm sorry. It was never my intention to hurt you personally, my responses are generally aimed at the forum in its entirety, and never to put down a specific person unless it is an extremely contentious thread and the general consensus is that someone is repeatedly asking for it, which was certainly not the case on this thread at any time.


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## SAMkewel (Mar 5, 2011)

Janeway said:


> My opinion: The minorities are ruling the world we live in & I'm soooooo tired of that fact! I would reign immediately & let this narrow minded group do without you.
> 
> I was cheated out of several years service because of a "pet" person so after I left the group, the "pet" isn't the pet & I've been begged to return which I proudly said NO!
> 
> ...


As a minority, it seems to me that it's the majority who seem to feel they have the absolute right to run the world.....


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## knitminnie (Jan 29, 2011)

minority/majority - this is a knitting forum. No ones life is threatened or in danger. Just offer your opinion and go on. When you ask for an opinion you get just that an opinion. BTW if someone hurts your feelings go to the source and tell them. You will probably be doing both of you a favor and take the time to talk it out. Blessings to all.


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## Janeway (Nov 22, 2011)

SAMkewel said:


> As a minority, it seems to me that it's the majority who seem to feel they have the absolute right to run the world.....


I am not talking race, but the "minority" in this meeting. I do not refer to people of any color as minorities because I'm Native American Indian. But we are a minority!

If you feel I offended you then I'm truly sorry as that was not my intent!

Peace, Little Moon Flower


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## Elder Ellen (Mar 9, 2013)

SAMkewel said:


> As a minority, it seems to me that it's the majority who seem to feel they have the absolute right to run the world.....


It depends on the form of government. In democracies, the majority rules but there usually are certain restrictions. In dictatorships, the power is often in the hands of a minority. This is not to say that dictators are always bad but even the well meaning ones frequently become obsessed with their power and use it to their own advantage. Excessive power and corruption seem to go hand in hand. The opposition is most often able to bring about change but at what a cost!


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## SAMkewel (Mar 5, 2011)

Janeway said:


> I am not talking race, but the "minority" in this meeting. I do not refer to people of any color as minorities because I'm Native American Indian. But we are a minority!
> 
> If you feel I offended you then I'm truly sorry as that was not my intent!
> 
> Peace, Little Moon Flower


I'm not talking race, either, since it has never made any difference to me. I didn't feel offended, just interested. There are probably more "minorities" than either of us could count when it comes to groups of people, and by that I mean anywhere folks of one opinion outnumber folks of another. I am not a racial minority yet, and that doesn't really concern me either :~). However, because of the assumptions of innumerable people over my lifetime and my feelings about that, as well as other things, I have spent the vast majority of my 75 years as a minority of one kind or another, so it is a matter of considerable interest to me.

While your apology was not called for, I appreciate it in the spirit in which you offered it. We're good!!


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## SAMkewel (Mar 5, 2011)

Elder Ellen said:


> It depends on the form of government. In democracies, the majority rules but there usually are certain restrictions. In dictatorships, the power is often in the hands of a minority. This is not to say that dictators are always bad but even the well meaning ones frequently become obsessed with their power and use it to their own advantage. Excessive power and corruption seem to go hand in hand. The opposition is most often able to bring about change but at what a cost!


One wonders, in the USA, whether it isn't the monied minority that rules. I'm only musing, not being difficult or offended :~).


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## Cheryl_K (May 23, 2011)

If you're a person who shows up way early for meetings (definitely not me), I think it's ok to bring knitting to work on before the meeting starts. I sometimes bring my knitting to church if I go with my husband, who is on the worship team because we have to be there 1 1/2 hours early, but I would never knit during the service, meeting, when the conference speaker is speaking, etc. JMO


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## Elder Ellen (Mar 9, 2013)

SAMkewel said:


> One wonders, in the USA, whether it isn't the monied minority that rules. I'm only musing, not being difficult or offended :~).


It does seem like "money talks" sometimes, but not nearly as much as it did in the earlier days before unions and citizens' groups were organized to fight for their rights. Things aren't perfect and they probably never will be -- someone will always find his/her way around any regulation. Actually, I think a perfect world would be incredably boring -- there'd be nothing to improve upon.


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## carol taylor (Jan 10, 2012)

For what it is worth and from my experience as a Human Resources executive for more than 25 years, there is a time to end a discussion.
Everyone has an opinion and it needs to be expressed in a respectful way.
Let's get back to doing what we do best on this site and we all agree on and that is our needlework.


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## kwright (Mar 16, 2012)

Sometimes I shoot my mouth off so to speak. Sometimes things are said in the heat of the moment. 

You have served that committee with the best you can be. You have given them your time, knowledge, and support. You were passed over for a position that you felt you should have been given. Maybe the person who got it deserved it, maybe not. Your decorum and behavior is up to you to decide. Societies mores are often made by people who feel they are superior, but often times their own personal mores are not as good as the average person. I knit when and where I feel it is okay or I feel the need. Even at the theater while I watched the program or at the orchestra. I can not sit that long. I fidget, wiggle, squirm. Given that you are a talented, gifted person, who has given of your time, effort, etc. Stay if you like, or just dust your shoes off as you walk out the door. I am so sorry for your disappointment and disillusionment with the group. I know it has hurt you a lot. God bless, keep your chin up, and give it a bit of time. The clouds will clear, and often surprises come with the sunshine.


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## emmas mom (May 15, 2013)

marimom said:


> I just had to vent about this. I am on the Board of a prestigious nonprofit agency and I requested a position on the Executive Board. Now I have been knitting small projects at meetings for years and years and no one has complained. Needless to say, I was not put on the EB and when I said something to the head of the Board, I was told that there was one negative comment - my knitting was a distraction to one person.
> I just said "Why didn't the person say something to me and I would have either stopped knitting or sat far, far away from whomever?"
> Really upset me as I have been a good contributer at all
> meetings and in committees.
> ...


I would ask at the next board meeting if it distracted anyone else, ask them to be honest and say that if so you'll be glad to stop. If not, I'd make sure the Executive Board committee knows that and say that one person should not be able to speak for the entire group and exclude someone who has been very dedicated to the responsibilities they do have. If others speak up, I would probably stop. Jsut my opinion!


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## Elder Ellen (Mar 9, 2013)

Non-profits are usually concerned about your check book -- can you knit and write checks at the same time? Maybe the person they selected writes checks with both hands, twice as many, i.e.


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## Still Clicking (May 24, 2014)

When you are alone talking on the phone, knitting is fine. When in a crowd if you have a problem concentrating you could ask at the end of the meeting for a copy of the Secretary's report. And checking for messages, and texting is rude. If you have a problem concentrating on the goings on, then maybe you shouldn't be there.


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## Joanne Hyde (Jul 8, 2011)

If the Board were paying you it would be a different story. Does anyone use their smart phone? They may tell you they are working but you don't know. At least when you are knitting you can listen and talk with others.
Think about it. You may never be happy on that Board as you will be wondering who it is and it will be uncomfortable with everyone. Use your talents elsewhere.


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## Diane Wolfe (Jun 3, 2013)

This entry has had so many replies and last night I was amazed at the passion and caring our members display by replying to the initial entry. Today somehow the issue of race and minorities came up! As I see it, this is just a forum of "blind" entries of opinion so the original enquiry can get reflections to clarify their own feelings and thoughts. Plus, those of us who read the entries also get new perspectives to embrace or reject personally as we continue to develop as people. I think this is the beauty of this website, not just handwork information. Have a good day all of you beautiful people, Diane


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## PauletteB. (Feb 7, 2012)

I am retired now but when I was working, at least for the last ten years I would knit at all my meetings. Initially our area specialist did not like it and said we needed to put it away. Then the person he began dating started to learn to knit. At that point she would tell him it helped us focus. He never said another word. It seems to me that if the board allowed one person to keep you off the board, then that would be one board I would not want to serve on. My question to them would be Do you let one person make all the decisions? Not a very healthy board.


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## marimom (Aug 27, 2011)

All right; my turn again. I am totally amazed at the number of responses that my dilemma has received.
I am taking them all in and reflecting about my position.
One thing I do want to say is remember this is NOT a work meeting but a Board of a NON-PROFIT. I am there because I choose to be not because I have to be.
Two - I always ask questions of speakers so I must be paying attention.
Three - I am involved in Board subjects while some people never say a word.
I am thinking of meeting with the new head of the EB but she has only been on the Board for 2 years and does not know my history. At least I will be able to move in some direction after that.
Thank you all for your comments. I do appreciate it.
I will let you all know what happens.


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## taborhills (Sep 8, 2012)

Dear Marimom,

I do hear your disappointment and hurt. Please consider this whole situation
from the point of view of the group as a whole within society. Before writing or meeting with the Chair, use enough time to reflect on the overall function of the organization and its goals, apparent and real. Try to be objective, giving up attachment to explaining or justifying yourself.

There is an enormous amount of good work to be done in this world. You are
needed, though possibly not in this organization beyond what you have already given.

May you find peace and purpose wherever you serve.


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## pzoe (Mar 17, 2011)

As a courtesy, stop knitting.


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## KnitnSleep (Mar 2, 2013)

ChristmasTree said:


> :thumbup: :thumbup: Knitting a simple project helps keep me focused. I don't knit at church but that's about the only place. Perhaps the distracted person would like to learn to knit!


Why do you not knit in church? I suspect it is because you consider that disrespectful. The same could be said of someone who is in a board meeting.

As you no doubt know, there are all sorts of things that go on behind the scenes. I suspect that might be an "excuse" with a totally different real reason. Who knows?!?


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## Diane Wolfe (Jun 3, 2013)

Good luck Marimom, there is no one correct way to do things. I will be glad to hear how things work out for you. Best wishes, Diane


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## Bombshellknits (Feb 2, 2013)

My opinion, because you asked. I love to knit! I love to read! But, there is a time and a place for everything. Yes, you are able to knit and listen to the meeting, but, maybe it looks to some like the meeting is interrupting your knitting. As much as I love to knit, I would be offended if I was paying attention to the meeting and you were knitting. If you have a knitting deadline, maybe stay up later? It's no different than someone playing on their smart phone the whole meeting. Life is short, live in the moment. Not doing so shorts you and irritates others. In life we have to make choices. Knitting or the meeting? Your knitting at the meeting didn't distract anyone, it annoyed them. If the person with the bicycle passion isn't riding around the meeting and the dog lover isn't bringing his dog, don't knit. It makes everyone feel that they are not important. 

And, I was raised Catholic. Tho I do not attend church right now I would NEVER knit in church. I would never consider it! Absolutely out of line. If you can't give up your passion for an hour or so, perhaps intervention is needed.


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## Bombshellknits (Feb 2, 2013)

One more thing: I keep seeing how it helps people focus. Some are ADD. My daughter is ADD. She's 23. She doesn't knit at work, or at meetings. She had to develop focusing skills. She knits in her free time. She didn't knit in her college classes either, she learned how to learn.


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## LUAE42 (Sep 6, 2012)

I used to go to our meetings here at work, and there was a man who doodled through the whole meeting. He was paying attention, and in fact probably doing a better job because he was occupying a part of his brain and letting it play while he continued to listen. Once I realized that, I started bringing easy knitting projects. My contribution to the meetings are always very small, but the amount of info I gather is huge. And my attention never wavers because my brain is still active and therefore has no need to wander off in a dream. 

My suggestion would be to equate it to doodling for other people. If doodling during meetings is acceptable, knitting should be too.


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## Elder Ellen (Mar 9, 2013)

It all depends on the situation, location and personalities involved. Look around for clues, and ask the chairman quietly, ahead of time, if you aren't sure. That ought to be safe enough.


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## sockyarn (Jan 26, 2011)

Are you telling us ONE person run the show?


marimom said:


> I just had to vent about this. I am on the Board of a prestigious nonprofit agency and I requested a position on the Executive Board. Now I have been knitting small projects at meetings for years and years and no one has complained. Needless to say, I was not put on the EB and when I said something to the head of the Board, I was told that there was one negative comment - my knitting was a distraction to one person.
> I just said "Why didn't the person say something to me and I would have either stopped knitting or sat far, far away from whomever?"
> Really upset me as I have been a good contributer at all meetings and in committees.
> What should I do now? Resign from the Board? Stop knitting at meetings (although the damage is already done)?
> ...


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## nitcronut (Aug 9, 2011)

I would not want to belong to a club which would have me as a member anyway. (Loosely quoted from Groucho Marx)
So there!!!


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## kittykatzmom (Mar 1, 2011)

This is my two cents worth - how can you be working on a craft item and paying attention to what is going on? Personally I think it would be rude to others to be doing a craft while a meeting is going on. Can't you do without your knitting for maybe an hour? Anyway bash me I don't care and I don't have the worry of being on a board and I won't be reading any replies.


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## knittingdragon (Jun 15, 2012)

Reading the post from the original sender she says she suffers from ADHD and knitted to stop from fidgeting and to concentrate more. If she has been doing that for so many years and the chairperson didn't have a problem with it, then I don't see what the problem is. There was a complaint from ONE person, so obviously no-one else was upset about the "problem". Like I said before, there appears to be more to this and she would be better offering her time to someone else who appreciates the input and effort she puts in.


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## kittykatzmom (Mar 1, 2011)

Well none of us were at the meeting and don't know what really went on.


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## marimom (Aug 27, 2011)

I certainly did not mean to stir up such anger in my fellow KPers. I am very sorry for this.



kittykatzmom said:


> This is my two cents worth - how can you be working on a craft item and paying attention to what is going on? Personally I think it would be rude to others to be doing a craft while a meeting is going on. Can't you do without your knitting for maybe an hour? Anyway bash me I don't care and I don't have the worry of being on a board and I won't be reading any replies.


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## taborhills (Sep 8, 2012)

Gosh, this discussion doesn't seem to me to have "stirred up anger"! I think it has been very interesting. I have thought about it over several days on and off and enjoyed imagining various of us knitting hither and yon in various social situations. Your entry stirred up a lot of thought and imagination, but you need not apologize. It's been good.
IMHO.


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## kittykatzmom (Mar 1, 2011)

I am not angry - but there are rude people on this earth. IF you can't do anything without the needles in your hand then you either need to get professional help to find out why you can't operate with your needles or you need to stay home and not disrupt others. I would imagine the sound of the needles could be very disruptive to some people. I can not imagine anyone wanting to knit in church - of course more than half the people can't tell you what the preacher or priest said the minute they hit the front steps leaving church. I have always wanted to do an interview to see what people actually remember when they are leaving church. Many can't wait to get outside and light up a cigarette - which I think looks disrespectful on church property.


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## SAMkewel (Mar 5, 2011)

marimom said:


> I certainly did not mean to stir up such anger in my fellow KPers. I am very sorry for this.


I don't think you did a thing to stir up anger; we all have it and everyone's triggers are different. The only anger you would be responsible for is your own, not anyone else's :~D! It's each person's choice to control or not control their own, and we cannot make those choices for others.


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## SAMkewel (Mar 5, 2011)

kittykatzmom said:


> I am not angry - but there are rude people on this earth. IF you can't do anything without the needles in your hand then you either need to get professional help to find out why you can't operate with your needles or you need to stay home and not disrupt others. I would imagine the sound of the needles could be very disruptive to some people. I can not imagine anyone wanting to knit in church - of course more than half the people can't tell you what the preacher or priest said the minute they hit the front steps leaving church. I have always wanted to do an interview to see what people actually remember when they are leaving church. Many can't wait to get outside and light up a cigarette - which I think looks disrespectful on church property.


Isn't this very judgmental???


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## kittykatzmom (Mar 1, 2011)

Judgmental? Just curious if people would remember what they went to church to hear. I seriously doubt if many would have a clue what the priest of preacher had to say, I have always thought it would be fun to do an interview of this type. Many go because they were raised to go too church and many go for the social aspect. I had someone I went to church with a few months ago tell me recently how friendly her church is - well no one invited me back, until another lady said when I move to town I could go to church with them. I don't care for any organized religion - so many people are so two faced and aren't nice to others outside of church. Don't get me started on this subject as I will never end. Each person is accountable for their own actions - me included.


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## kittykatzmom (Mar 1, 2011)

Everyone is stating their own opinion. Be interesting if you would tell us if you keep going to the meetings or if they allow you to continue to knit.


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## carol taylor (Jan 10, 2012)

can we please move on and get back to knitting subjects.
You are all wonderful people but enough is enough. I did not sign up for this


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## SAMkewel (Mar 5, 2011)

carol taylor said:


> can we please move on and get back to knitting subjects.
> You are all wonderful people but enough is enough. I did not sign up for this


That's why we have a little box called "Unwatch.)" Click on it and you will never see another word on this thread :~).


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## vgillies (Mar 28, 2011)

And I assume no one is looking at their electronic devices while the meeting is in session?



Dcsmith77 said:


> I would expect anyone who is serving on an executive level board meeting to devote full attention to the business at hand. It's not the knitting, exactly, it's doing anything but paying strict attention to the discussion. I would say the same about someone whittling - I don't even admire doodling during business times, although sometimes this may be actually taking notes and not doodling. Volunteer to be the secretary of the board and you won't have to knit to be entertained. People are usually desperate for a good secretary to take minutes.


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## kittykatzmom (Mar 1, 2011)

Simple quit reading the posts!


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## marimom (Aug 27, 2011)

Excuse me but this was definitely not meant to be a religious topic and, frankly, I am surprised at how many of you have turned it into one. I am only one person who serves on a Board because I know my talents belong there. I am the only one who actually owns a business in the field and I have over 40 years of experience in helping the elderly. This is the ONLY subject that I wished to discuss.



kittykatzmom said:


> Judgmental? Just curious if people would remember what they went to church to hear. I seriously doubt if many would have a clue what the priest of preacher had to say, I have always thought it would be fun to do an interview of this type. Many go because they were raised to go too church and many go for the social aspect. I had someone I went to church with a few months ago tell me recently how friendly her church is - well no one invited me back, until another lady said when I move to town I could go to church with them. I don't care for any organized religion - so many people are so two faced and aren't nice to others outside of church. Don't get me started on this subject as I will never end. Each person is accountable for their own actions - me included.


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## marimom (Aug 27, 2011)

I will let you know what happens.



kittykatzmom said:


> Everyone is stating their own opinion. Be interesting if you would tell us if you keep going to the meetings or if they allow you to continue to knit.


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## Marny CA (Jun 26, 2011)

I go to various classes and there is one person who knits all through classes.

Since I prefer to knit when other people are not around, and I need to concentrate fully on a speaker, my knitting stays home.

I find myself watching the woman who knits ... and, so my concentration is compromised.

I now sit so as to not see her.

But even that is a distraction I don't need.

My ADDorableness is that my attention must be on the speaker, just out of respect. If I can't do that then I stay home and knit.

Someone told me that her child's teacher is constantly knitting while teaching. THAT would not be a class I'd like to be in and certainly would not let my child be in it - unless the teacher is teaching knitting.

Choose what you enjoy the most and do it. Some things in life are out of your hands. (no pun intended)


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## Tessie (Jul 29, 2011)

I will knit anywhere except church. I do not go to see or be seen, to decide if I like the sermon or not. I go to worship and I think my Lord and Savior deserves my undivided attention.



kittykatzmom said:


> Judgmental? Just curious if people would remember what they went to church to hear. I seriously doubt if many would have a clue what the priest of preacher had to say, I have always thought it would be fun to do an interview of this type. Many go because they were raised to go too church and many go for the social aspect. I had someone I went to church with a few months ago tell me recently how friendly her church is - well no one invited me back, until another lady said when I move to town I could go to church with them. I don't care for any organized religion - so many people are so two faced and aren't nice to others outside of church. Don't get me started on this subject as I will never end. Each person is accountable for their own actions - me included.


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## knittingdragon (Jun 15, 2012)

carol taylor said:


> can we please move on and get back to knitting subjects.
> You are all wonderful people but enough is enough. I did not sign up for this


This is in the "Non-knitting" section, so if you don't want to read it, don't open it. (I'm shooting from the hip, so don't take offence). I'm finding it interesting to read the different takes people have to this thread. While most are saying "don't knit in the board room" a lot are missing that the poster has a medical condition that neccessitated her doing something to keep her hands busy so she was able to pay closer attention to what was going on. While most on the board seemed okay by this, one person took offense and the poster's feelings were hurt. I still think that if the chairperson was okay with the knitting, then all was well, and this seems to have been going on for a long time with no issues. Now that the board has passed over her for "membership" onto it's bench, hurt feelings have surfaced. I still think there is something more to this than meets the eye, but it is interesting to see people's thoughts.

By the way, the non-knitting section is for subjects just like this, the same is to be said for the section for other crafts. We like to be able to share everything we do and are faced with - it helps to vent now and again to get things off our chests so our health isn't affected by constant worry. Right through this entire Forum, there have been some heart-wrenching topics discussed and the responses have been fascinating, fantastic, horrific, laughable and even obvious. We can all benefit by the posts put into this section. There may be something put here that is exactly what someone else is looking for but didn't have the nerve to post a question. So we help each other. Personally, I am touched by the depth of feeling we all have for each other and see everyone here as extended family. Not everyone in a family agrees with certain things - the same here, but it is heartwarming to know that if we have a problem or burden we can share it here and get answers, closure, etc.

If you want to only discuss knitting issues, then skim over the non-knitting discussion section and you won't get upset.


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## taborhills (Sep 8, 2012)

Certain topics in this non-knitting section have (like this one) taken off in unexpected ways. This seems to be a safe place where one can ask general advice or share thoughts with people who otherwise are not active parts of one's everyday ("real"?) life. 

I hope we can keep it a safe place, a friendly place, and yet be honest with each other. Sometimes before putting the words into the computer, we need to think a bit more about the vulnerability of the original writer, or just any other writer. I am glad this is not the kind of place like some of the political blogs, where people call names, flame, and abuse each other. The world already has enough anger!


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## felix (Jul 13, 2011)

i do believe RELIGION & POLITICS should not pop up in this forum....love the discussions and opinions we get but those 2 subjects are only trouble. please give this some thought and keep the fun stuff coming....


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## SAMkewel (Mar 5, 2011)

felix said:


> i do believe RELIGION & POLITICS should not pop up in this forum....love the discussions and opinions we get but those 2 subjects are only trouble. please give this some thought and keep the fun stuff coming....


While I realize that there are many who feel the same way you do, Admin saw fit to change the rules to allow discussions on these subjects, so I'll accept that since it is his forum and he does get to make the rules :~). I think we've learned a lot, and the name calling and insults have apparently lessened a great deal, which is good to see. I know my hide is much thicker than it was three+ years ago when I joined and I think that's a good thing to a point.

One of the other rules, of course, is to be polite. Sadly, the life conditioning of many of us is such that we take offense very easily, and so I would advise those folks to stay away from those subjects that upset them. I used to be very much that way but that has given way to my lifelong practice of studying how people react in order to learn from it and handle it better than I have in the past. I would call that growth. I enjoy seeing others, as well as myself, learn how to cope in acceptable ways. It sure beats the lies and hiding from reality that I grew up with, which set me up for an extremely difficult time in life for decades. There are many sides to every question..... A little more to think about.


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## SAMkewel (Mar 5, 2011)

taborhills said:


> Certain topics in this non-knitting section have (like this one) taken off in unexpected ways. This seems to be a safe place where one can ask general advice or share thoughts with people who otherwise are not active parts of one's everyday ("real"?) life.
> 
> I hope we can keep it a safe place, a friendly place, and yet be honest with each other. Sometimes before putting the words into the computer, we need to think a bit more about the vulnerability of the original writer, or just any other writer. I am glad this is not the kind of place like some of the political blogs, where people call names, flame, and abuse each other. The world already has enough anger!


While I agree with you to a point, I think the USA in particular, for whatever reason, has a huge problem with accepting anger, which each and every one of has to one degree or another. I don't know why it isn't regarded the same as any other normal emotion, but it isn't; apparently it scares many the same way it did when they were children and the source of anger was those huge parents we all had, some of whom could be very abusive with it. Mental health professionals tell us there are healthy ways to vent anger, and verbalizing it, rather than hitting people or shooting them, is one of them. It doesn't surprise me that people who were forced to bottle up that emotion go overboard when they begin to express it, but given time and practice, the pendulum begins to swing into a more normal and healthy way of handling it. I'm always sorry to see people run away from it. That means they'll always be unable to handle it from others and themselves, and I think that can be crippling. I think if we try to understand it this way, we might learn more tolerance and less fear. Shaming people or being judgmental for what is an essential part of them is never helpful in my opinion. This is some more food for thought, not carved in stone anywhere to my knowledge.


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## kittykatzmom (Mar 1, 2011)

I wrote the ADMIN about politics and they said it was ok. I also think politics should be something not to be discussed on here, but if I don't like the way it is going I just stop reading.


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## DotS (Jun 25, 2011)

Years ago, our pastor's wife knitted baby blankets at meetings she attended. I don't ever remember anyone complaining about her knitting to be a distraction. 
DotS


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## MASHEPP (Mar 13, 2011)

Before I retired, I attended a lot of meetings, and also held a lot of meetings with my staff. Knitting during a meeting would never have been allowed. It is distracting and shows a lack of attention by the knitter. My guess is it bothered more than one person and they are not going to involve the other attendees in the complaint. They were under no obligation to appoint you to the board whether you knit or not, and I think it is bold to confront them about it now. If this organization is important to you, leave the knitting at home and hope for your appointment in the future.


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## bizzyknitter (May 10, 2011)

Why is it some people always love to tell other people what to do?


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## marimom (Aug 27, 2011)

With all due respect to everyone who has responded to this topic, I did ask what my next step should be.
Yes, I was surprised by the harshness of some of my fellow KPers; but I did ask.
The new Exec Board is being sworn in today. Right now my DH is battling his way through what we hope is not pneumonia and this is my first concern.
Also, I am looking around for other volunteer positions before speaking to the new chairman.
I will keep you all informed.
Thank you for taking the time to respond.



bizzyknitter said:


> Why is it some people always love to tell other people what to do?


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## taborhills (Sep 8, 2012)

bizzyknitter said:


> Why is it some people always love to tell other people what to do?


"Always"?
"Love"?
Bossiness is to me a sign of someone's internal discomfort,
thus I realize that such a person is unhappy, even miserable.
On the other hand, if someone asks for advice or feedback, I presume that may be what they would appreciate.


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## Marny CA (Jun 26, 2011)

Lots of people think they can concentrate on their driving even when talking on a cell phone.

I know that is impossible!!

I don't care who the driver is (including myself) - it has been proven that people cannot fully concentrate on more than one thing at a time.

Just think how you would feel if your surgeon felt s/he could operate on your and talk on his cell or knit.

Heard of this joke? Woman driving and knitting ... police bellowed out on bullhorn "Pull over!!!" Driver yelled back "No, cardigan!!"

If I have to knit no matter where I go, I would stay home.

Someone told me about their child's teacher - she always was knitting throughout every class -- and donated her finished projects.

Personally, I would question that teacher's ability to focus on each child, people coming through the door, fire alarm going off, and safety of my child. My child would be watching the teacher knitting, instead of listening to what she was saying about the lesson.

Oh, that child would be Me!!!

Today, while waiting in the court lobby, I watched 4 police officers and about 6 private persons watching the soccer match on a tv at the check-in-through-electronic-processing intake -- and I wondered how prepared those officers would be if a person with a rifle came through the door and shot them all in their back!!! They wouldn't have seen the intruder!


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## marimom (Aug 27, 2011)

Sorry, but there are many people with adult ADD who cannot concentrate on just one thing at a time; and I am one of them. So check the facts before making such a statement. Read up on the subject.
It is not a pleasant way to live at times. But geniuses and creative people have often been found to have this problem.


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## chooksnpinkroses (Aug 23, 2012)

CBratt said:


> I personally cannot concentrate on my knitting AND take in whatever else is going on around me so I would not be knitting at board meetings, during work hours, in church, etc.
> 
> For folks who do not knit and never have, I can see how they would think it inappropriate to knit at a committee meeting and I guess it could be a distraction.
> 
> Just my humble opinion and not meant to offend anyone!


Me too!


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## Marny CA (Jun 26, 2011)

I'm ADDorable, too.


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## Marny CA (Jun 26, 2011)

DotS said:


> Years ago, our pastor's wife knitted baby blankets at meetings she attended. I don't ever remember anyone complaining about her knitting to be a distraction.
> DotS


Few people would confront their clergy's wife.

Or their clergy's husband.


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## Marny CA (Jun 26, 2011)

MASHEPP said:


> Before I retired, I attended a lot of meetings, and also held a lot of meetings with my staff. Knitting during a meeting would never have been allowed. It is distracting and shows a lack of attention by the knitter. My guess is it bothered more than one person and they are not going to involve the other attendees in the complaint. They were under no obligation to appoint you to the board whether you knit or not, and I think it is bold to confront them about it now. If this organization is important to you, leave the knitting at home and hope for your appointment in the future.


I'm with you.

Even at knitting guild meetings I didn't knit ... it was more important to me to give my full attention to the officer speaking and to the lecturer.

When a passenger in a car when husband was the driver, I knit sometimes. Most times we conversed or I slept (so he loved that he could then listen to his music - while I prefer no music playing while we were talking/listening to each other) - and one time I read a new book outloud but some of the story made my husband cry which wasn't good while he was behind the wheel.

For my own self, I like doing my crafts when by myself - it's my solitary time. I wouldn't have been good in the good ole days when a lady stitched during conversation with visitor.

edit - I remember a friend's friend who used to sit next to me at theater. She had to knit (she hated theater) and I had to tell our mutual friend to switch seats with me.

It worked out well -- that knitter didn't like my laughing and applauding.


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## edithcarolf (Aug 25, 2012)

I have a close friend at church who was knitting during our bible study. She organized a prayer shawl group at church that meets once per week for the purpuse of making prayer shawls. She is extremely dedicated to her shawl ministry. I felt that it was a little bit of bad manners to knit at our bible study. She eventually stopped doing it. Please don't take offense but I think there is a time and a place for doing crafts. It may seem oversensitive but I feel that knitting during a meeting tells the other people at the meeting that they are not worthy of your full attention.


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## liliacraftparty (Aug 27, 2014)

I tottaly understand you and I will feel upset for the fact that the person went to make a compleint before to let you know or tell you about the situation, in that case I´m sure that you will stop knitting on the meetings or talk with this person and explain your position. Anyway I think is better stop to knit on the meetings just to avoid other problems, by the way I feel sad for the person who made a compleint, apparently she/he doesn´t know the pleasure of knitting!


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## BobL (Jul 13, 2014)

It would be interesting to know if anyone ever uses their cell phone to text etc. during the board's meetings.


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## marimom (Aug 27, 2011)

People are akways using their phones to text or just to look at what has come in. Would you say that is a double standard?



BobL said:


> It would be interesting to know if anyone ever uses their cell phone to text etc. during the board's meetings.


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## litprincesstwo (Nov 11, 2012)

bizzyknitter said:


> Why is it some people always love to tell other people what to do?


right!


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## litprincesstwo (Nov 11, 2012)

marimom said:


> People are akways using their phones to text or just to look at what has come in. Would you say that is a double standard?


Totally a double standard and it should be brought to the attention of the group.

I personally can knit and "LISTEN" at the same time. If I'm working on a project during bible study it's somehting that I don't have to devote my full attention to. I still can HEAR and UNDERSTAND what we're discussing.


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