# Rude? or not?



## egkntter (Sep 28, 2011)

I happen to mention about my sweater project in conversation at work, and my supervisor who is younger than me, started making fun of people who knit, asking if I sit in a rocking chair she then started rocking back and forth on her heels imitating someone knittinf mimicking and old woman from the south saying "back in the days when I was a youngin..." I could have slapped her sensless but she is my supervisor who is younger than me! I hate people like that.. and I was knitting a scarf i was going to give her well Guess what, Coal for her stocking


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## KnittingGran (Nov 23, 2011)

She's just jealous because she can't knit. Offer to teach her!!


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## Xiang (Sep 3, 2011)

Don't take her inadequacies to heart. Wear some of your fabulous garments to work, if appropriate & watch her attitude change. Then offer to teach her to knit


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## Marylou12 (Dec 11, 2011)

Sounds like she's the jealous, insecure type who needs to knock others down to build herself up. As a prvious post mentioned, I'd wear some of my fabulous items to work and if she asks about them, I'd answer: "That's what this grannie knitted on the front porch in her rocker." 
I'd also still give her the scarf and sign the card:"From Grannie's front porch." She'll get the idea.


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## egkntter (Sep 28, 2011)

i did and she was just as rude about it at that saying knitting is for old ladies


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## LEE1313 (Jan 25, 2011)

OH gosh I just saw a knitted lump of coal last week on some knitting sight. PERFECT for her.
Rude and in poor taste. But people like her are why we need to knit to keep our sanity.

Linda[

FOUND IT!! FREEEEEE!!!!
KnitPicks "Grumpy the lump of coal"

quote=egkntter]I happen to mention about my sweater project in conversation at work, and my supervisor who is younger than me, started making fun of people who knit, asking if I sit in a rocking chair she then started rocking back and forth on her heels imitating someone knittinf mimicking and old woman from the south saying "back in the days when I was a youngin..." I could have slapped her sensless but she is my supervisor who is younger than me! I hate people like that.. and I was knitting a scarf i was going to give her well Guess what, Coal for her stocking[/quote]


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## Needleme (Sep 27, 2011)

All jokes aside, that is poor behavior by a supervisor.


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## pearlone (Apr 4, 2011)

Perhaps she is NOT supervisor material and needs to be replaced. Youth is no excuse for rude and nasty.


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## CraftyHorse (Mar 30, 2011)

I agree, she sounds like a poor supervisor. I would never have talked to my employees like that when I was a store manager. 

I, like a lot of us, started crochet at age 12 and knitting at age 21. I sure weren't no Gma! LOL


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## lizzieshome (Aug 23, 2011)

I would just have to smile and tell her "well, bless your heart, you really just don't have a clue do you"


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## ScarletDove (Oct 2, 2011)

EGknitter -- just enjoy your craft and talent and smile as you think about what you know about the world that this rude young one has yet to learn.


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## Stablebummom (Dec 5, 2011)

Perhaps the supervisor needs to be "frogged"! LOL. What an insecure, immature, self centered little brat! And I don't have strong feelings about that at all! I used to be a supervisor and would never have thought to do or say anything like that!


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## Dsynr (Jun 3, 2011)

Rude, crude, and a bad attitude, I say! At our worksite, an employee could bring a supervisor who made fun of them like that on charges.
Envy makes some epople say awful things and stupidity makes them say even worse things. Don't sweat it. I agree with my KP sisters who advise wearing a work of your art to work. When she notices simply smile and say,
"I sat down in my old rocking chair; and I got up with this!" then turn in a slow circle so she can eat her heart out over your skill at creating such things.
Oh, I'm truly evil today! Huah! Huah! Huah! Huah! :twisted:


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## mtnchild (Aug 23, 2011)

I doubt if anything you say would make her think about what she said to you - I believe she would just continue belittling knitters.

Wear your beautiful work and ignore her. If she continues with her comments, report her; that's what I would do.
Hugs
Yvette


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## courier770 (Jan 29, 2011)

Her behavior is at the least unacceptable, though I think worse. She's darn lucky she didn't do this in front of me..I'd have spit out the names of at least 6 current, very successful, extremely attractive and YOUNG knitting designers. In fact you'd have been clamping your hand over my mouth as I tried to spit out that most colleges require students studying fashion design to take classes in fiber arts..including knitting!

The "kids" I work with (I'm in my late 50's) used to kid me about knitting...now they don't. We have a "gift exchange" where we draw names. My boss told me everyone put at least one small knitted item on their list of wants in case I drew their name!


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## Stablebummom (Dec 5, 2011)

There are many famous actresses and actors who knit-I've seen pics of them sitting on the set awaiting their call knitting away. Knitting sure seems to be big in Canada and England now too.


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## egkntter (Sep 28, 2011)

Your ALL right on the money, I loved each and every reply, just the kind I thought I would get, and NO she isnt supervisor type, some days I like her other days I want to knock her out of her shoes but shes too heavy( yes fat) for me to be able to. I may just keep the scarf for myself, like you guys said wear it and make her jealous. thinking about it this morning made me type it out as i was hurting inside but like you guys said she doesnt know what she is missing

By the way the sweater is coming along just fine, its when I get( if I get) to the main part of the front/back decrease./increase part that scares the crap out of me....

thanks guys your the best..


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## deemail (Jan 25, 2011)

ignorance knows no age...

just be glad you have a hobby that is perfect for relieving the tension created by working for people like that...I can only believe that a person who is that insensitive and ignorant about one thing isn't irritating about lots of things in the workplace... keep on knittin'... we all understand here, even if she doesn't ...


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## courier770 (Jan 29, 2011)

My supervisor is a "heavy set" gal...but she's perfect..just as God made her. God makes us in many sizes, colors and creeds..he only selects a very few to knit!!!


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## 23607 (Jun 6, 2011)

courier770 said:


> My supervisor is a "heavy set" gal...but she's perfect..just as God made her. God makes us in many sizes, colors and creeds..he only selects a very few to knit!!!


Amen to this!

I was young once and thin once, but have kept my wits and knitting skills.

Connie


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## eggplantlady (Apr 10, 2011)

I suspect that there is a little more to this than meets the eye. There may be something about you or the work that you do on the job that makes her feel a bit inferior (I assume it would be the latter),and her insecurity and/or age has her reacting with a 'safe' thing to use to belittle you. You probably have more work experience and know how to talk to the higher ups in ways that she hasn't learned yet. I've been on this side and once you realize that it doesn't really have anything to do with you it is easier to deal with. What a shame, I hope she outgrows this soon!


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## Phyllis (Jan 20, 2011)

You should give her the scarf anyway and embarrass her.


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## Janet.Sar (Jun 29, 2011)

One word.......... Jealousy!


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## FireballDave (Mar 18, 2011)

I'm retired now, but had I treated my staff like that, I'd have expected to be sued for constructive wrongful dismissal with a bill for thousands of pounds in damages. 

Maybe she should be reminded of the risk she is taking by making people's positions untenable, all employees are entitled to be treated with dignity and workplace bullying is a sackabe offence in the UK. I'm sure the company's directors will be exercised by the thought of the possible consequences of her antics.

Dave


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## patty1 (Nov 15, 2011)

BIG TIME RUDE If she had done that to me I would be unemployed. Superviser or not she has no right doing that to people. How would she lke being made fun of because she is an IDIOT


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## maidinkent (Jul 17, 2011)

Think it would be interesting to find out if one of the young bosses knits! That would soon shut her up.
Make yourself something really lush and wear it to work. She sounds very insecure to me if she has to resort to that sort of behaviour.


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## patty1 (Nov 15, 2011)

How true


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## dijewe (Mar 1, 2011)

Gosh , what a rude person. I would never bother to justify my knitting to someone like that and would probably point out how rude her behavior is directly to her face.

My friends have teased me relentlessly for the past year since I have taken up knitting again. When they saw the prices of scarves in the stores, I gave them tips on how they could knit their own and two of my friends are completely hooked LOL I told those girlfriends not to forget the rocking chairs when they go shopping for yarn and supplies!


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## Hendrika (Jan 23, 2011)

Rude in deed! But don't lower yourself to her standards it isn't worth the effort. Give her the scarf just as you planned. She may be fat but you can be the bigger person.


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## Clickers (Apr 8, 2011)

Keep the scarf, you will be the one turning up for work nice and warm.


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## Dimples16 (Jan 28, 2011)

KnittingGran said:


> She's just jealous because she can't knit. Offer to teach her!
> 
> I agreee.


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## Bknitting (Oct 2, 2011)

egkntter said:


> I happen to mention about my sweater project in conversation at work, and my supervisor who is younger than me, started making fun of people who knit, asking if I sit in a rocking chair she then started rocking back and forth on her heels imitating someone knittinf mimicking and old woman from the south saying "back in the days when I was a youngin..." I could have slapped her sensless but she is my supervisor who is younger than me! I hate people like that.. and I was knitting a scarf i was going to give her well Guess what, Coal for her stocking


She is not a nice person. Most likely never will be. We can not change her and she is supervisor. Please take care of yourself. Do not let her spoil your joy.


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## destiny516ab (Jul 16, 2011)

Some people are rude or they simply do not think before they speak. Remember the things that you let bother you will. You are in control.


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## aflores (Mar 26, 2011)

I'm so very sorry that you had to listen to such crap from a person who obviously doesn't have a clue. I too have had similar comments given to me at work while knitting during my lunch hour or conference time by my very own co-workers. I should let you know that I'm a teacher and the last person I would expect to judge me is an educator. Oh well. My vindication is the pride I feel when I wear a garment that I made myself. "Knit on with confidence and hope through all crisis" (Elizabeth Zimmermann). Remember, you are the only one who can make yourself feel badly Happy knitting and to hell with the rest.


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## Sylvia Strawbridge (Dec 14, 2011)

Yes, she is rude, and she deserves only coal!! I happen to be from the South, and I don't know anyone like that! The friends that I knit with happen to be younger than me and we have a wonderful time...it's relaxing, we catch up with what the others' been doing and make beautiful knitted pieces! You could mention the celebrities that knit: Russell Crowe and Julia Roberts immediately come to mind.
Happy knitting, young lady!!!
Syl


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## cydneyjo (Aug 5, 2011)

I knit at work and I am old, and I am a granny, but people are very interested in what I'm making and only make kind comments. I taught one co-worker's daughter to knit and she now joins the knitting group on Monday nights. And when my coworker's mother died, she brought me her "stash," along with many notions. I think you should leave her pictures of Julia Roberts and Vanna White; they knit and they are beautiful.


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## czechmate (Jun 17, 2011)

Oh I hear you girlfriend ,with youth comes stupidly...yes you must
bridle your tongue,but not your heart and knitting is in your heart and your passion.you can fly high by knitting the most beautiful apparel ,your time will come to give her a lesson in life.We are here to lift you up.so go down another road and enjoy what you love doing.this is what marks us from others.


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## grandmatimestwo (Mar 30, 2011)

Incredibly rude and ignorant as well!


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## Dorene Boutwell (Aug 29, 2011)

I know people can be very rude. The next time give everyone something you made except her and she will get the picture. I did this and it works . She wanted to know where her gift was. My comment was I only give to people who are nice.


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## Lilysmom567 (Nov 8, 2011)

Her behavior is totally unacceptable. Take heart, EG knitter. For sure she treats everyone in a rude manor, about everything, not only knitting. She must be an unhappy young woman, and will not get very far...in business nor in life...with her bad attitude.


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## cd4player (Jul 29, 2011)

You know what - I'd still give her the scarf, but very publicly. Maybe in front of several people. Watch her reaction and those of the others around.

I bet it will get ooh's and aah's from everyone, and will show her that you're a bigger person than she is. 

I've taken many of my handmade things to work and the younger people are amazed. Most of my co-workers are younger than I am, and not one has ever made fun of me.


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## patocenizo (Jun 24, 2011)

When she is cold, cold, cold as it gets in your neck of the woods, arrive at work wearing the scarf that you were making for her and let her know how warm and cozy it feels.....yes, because you knit!!


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## rosebay44 (Apr 27, 2011)

I'm sympathetic to your reaction to your supervisors' rudeness. I don't knit in public, or draw, or paint watercolors, or crochet or any other of my arts/crafts. I am sensitive to comment so I remove myself from the possibility. Personally, I'm more interested in learning about knitting and crochet from this forum than playing Dear Abby but that's just me being me. I support your right to knit when you aren't working and to smile enigmatically when others are rude you.


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## LHODGE (Nov 7, 2011)

First of all, it is very inappropriate for a supervisor to make fun of an employee. And she probably is jealous. It is amazing how many kids are getting into knitting now! I am in my 40's and I knit, sew and can, just like my grandmother did. I learned so much from her. To this day, I am the only one that does these things


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## Wheatie (Sep 19, 2011)

There are people who just don't understand. Yesterday I was ask by a friend (who is a very good modern artist) what I had been doing and I replied "a lot of knitting" she didn't make any soment, but started talking about other things. I am going to make a point to show her something one day. She needs educating.


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## Sailgurl (Oct 1, 2011)

Yes- she was very rude. But more importantly very STUPID. Obviously her arrogance exceeds her abilities. Forget giving he anything handmade as a gift. She doesn't deserve it.


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## st1tch (Dec 13, 2011)

Those who can do, those who can't criticise! 

Here in the UK that kind of behaviour would be frowned on especially coming from a supervisor and classed as at best harassment or "Bullying in the work place" a disciplinary and possibly a case for dismissal could ensue.


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## egkntter (Sep 28, 2011)

This is amazing, I didnt think I would get the response I did, Thanks to each and all of you for your responces, even the funny ones about yarn bombing her cubicle,ect. Dont know if I dare to, probably would be written up for it.
Unfortunatly I work for a company that is lax in many things, discipline for her rude unbecoming behavior is one thing they dont do, I would go on but I wont.
I agree with not letting it get to me, I didnt, wont. I got pissed and ranted inside myself, and thought maybe Im letting her tease get to me to much, nope I was right she is RUDE to a T, she has teased me immaturly before about other things, but she cant get me to stop knitting.
Im not going to waste good hard money on a rude CHILD, I decided to give it to my sister, who got me into knitting. These loosers at work dont deserve, the good in life.

wish I could find a new job, and up and Quit, show her a thing or two.. she drove off another woman who was dealing with the stress of learning her husband has cancer and now she has cancer. I miss her cause she was too wonderful a woman to have that happen too, and she grew a disliking to our supervisor, sad to say, my supervisor used to call her her work mom, they worked together for quite a few years..

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND TO ALL A HAPPY KNITTING 

CHINS UP LADIES IM GONNA FINISH THAT SWEATER NO MATTER WHAT


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## KateWood (Apr 30, 2011)

Why not knit a grey hackysak instead of a grey lump of coal, fill it full of BEANS...Maybe she's too old for one, but is still full of beansLOL, Been there with the supervisor almost young enough to be my daughter. In the end, she changed...


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## Nanimal (Dec 14, 2011)

Don't take offense. She might have just been trying to engage in a little friendly banter. A lot of people don't understand the passion for hand crafting and she may really think that knitting is an old folks craft, when really it's not. 

Go ahead and give her the scarf if you are making it for her. If she was seriously trying to insult you it would be like heaping coals of fire on her head...if not, I'm sure she would appreciate such a lovely gift made by hand...or should.

People have joked about my abilities, too, but I just banter back and forth with them.


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## jan m (Jul 5, 2011)

Yes, that's rude. And insensitive. And age-ist. As the adult and well-mannered person in the room, there's not much you can (should) do except think about who deserves that lovely scarf you are--gasp!--_knitting_.


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## Sylvia Strawbridge (Dec 14, 2011)

Good for you!! I retired early a year ago after working 35 years at my job because the new boss was such a condescending, short little know it all that liked to bully and yell and get red in the face. Took me a while, but I got it all out of my head and now I just feel sorry for him. He must be sincerely unhappy to treat others...and it wasn't just me...that way. You knit away, enjoy your holiday and keep your eye out for a better work place and it will happen when it's time! I'm learning to meditate, taking more walks with my Dalmatians, knitting and in a much better place health wise. Stressing about people you can't change will only hurt you and they are so not worth it. As they say, karma is a bitch, and it sounds like your boss has some seriously bad karma headed her way! HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!


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## Mayanmoon (Dec 10, 2011)

egkntter said:


> I happen to mention about my sweater project in conversation at work, and my supervisor who is younger than me, started making fun of people who knit, asking if I sit in a rocking chair she then started rocking back and forth on her heels imitating someone knitting mimicking and old woman from the south saying "back in the days when I was a youngin..." I could have slapped her sensless but she is my supervisor who is younger than me! I hate people like that.. and I was knitting a scarf i was going to give her well Guess what, Coal for her stocking


I would give it to her anyway. It would be her favorite color. I believe in being super nice to people like that -- it makes them wonder what I am up to.


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## judithkimber (Dec 15, 2011)

make her a potato chip scarf-she'll change her tune fast!


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## farmgirl (Jul 19, 2011)

I can only imagine how she must have made you feel! What inappropriate, unprofessional behavior on her part! I'd never knit her a thing EVER...stick with the coal


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## judithkimber (Dec 15, 2011)

make her a potato chip scarf-she'll change her tune fast!


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## judithkimber (Dec 15, 2011)

make her a potato chip scarf-she'll be stunned (and i guarantee she'll be parading it proudly!


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## stitchedhen (Nov 13, 2011)

Oftentimes those who have no sense of creativity, are talentless, and have no skills at doing anything will begrudge those who do. If it were me, I would give her the scarf anyway, with a note that it was hand-knitted with fondness. I'm sure she'll be very ashamed of herself after receiving it.


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## judithkimber (Dec 15, 2011)

sorry i responded twice, but am new to this!


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## Laura3720 (Dec 10, 2011)

I'd give her the scarf--it'll make her think a little about your very different styles!


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## jheiens (Jan 20, 2011)

to lizzieshome: Now that is a perfect response if I ever heard one. Thank you for sharing that one with us. I love it! Joy


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## Gail9 (Mar 4, 2011)

Ignore her as she has not had the proper training for a Supervisor or a person that has not been trained what is proper and what is not. Everyone that I know has always had good things to say about my knitting. oh yea they want to know if I could make something for them. There are more and more people who enjoy hand knitted things. keep up the good work.


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## fiddlerbird555 (Apr 6, 2011)

Any number of responses would be possible, including "If you don't make fun of my knitting, I won't make fun of your weight" or "THAT was totally out of line and if you continue to harass me about a perfectly harmless hobby, I will go to HR"

There is the possibility that this was "friendly razzing" but even that requires, a gentle correction. (Softer version of #2).


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## EqLady (Sep 1, 2011)

Definitely not supervisor material! You didn't mention her age, only that she was younger than you; seems to me that people skills are sorely needed among the younger generation.


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## egkntter (Sep 28, 2011)

she is in her 20's 26 i think, but acts like 16 she hasnt deserved to be supervisor ever, I think she is the only horrible supervisor i have ever had.


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## pocono.carol (Nov 30, 2011)

Document, document, document! INAPPROPRIATE AND UNPROFESSIONAL BEHAVIOR IN THE WORKPLACE IS UNACCEPTABLE. If she was this crude to you I am sure her attitude toward others will be similar. The productivity of those she manages will go down. If her Human Resources is not informed of her style, the blame will not rest on her shoulders but on those she manages. From a business perspective this is something that needs to be addressed sooner than later. She is in need of professional guidance.

Keep a little memo book in a pocket, jot down time and place, with a detailed description of what took place. This is I observed, this is when it happened, this is where it happened.

Mention to the others she manages to do the same when you observe her being inappropriate and unprofessional to them. You will know when the time is right to bring it to Human Resources. Do not be vindictive, be honest. Bulling is never appropriate, not on the playground, and not in a business environment. 

Good luck


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## Carlaallaire (Mar 5, 2011)

egkntter said:


> I happen to mention about my sweater project in conversation at work, and my supervisor who is younger than me, started making fun of people who knit, asking if I sit in a rocking chair she then started rocking back and forth on her heels imitating someone knittinf mimicking and old woman from the south saying "back in the days when I was a youngin..." I could have slapped her sensless but she is my supervisor who is younger than me! I hate people like that.. and I was knitting a scarf i was going to give her well Guess what, Coal for her stocking


Yes, she was rude. However, I think rather than giving her coal, I would give her the scarf. It will send her a powerful message--one, that knitting is beautiful, and two, you handle people gently and kindly. It may make her stop and think about her interactions with people. God bless, merry Christmas


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## Windbeam (Jul 31, 2011)

Really rude! She needs to set an example of good behavior instead of making fun of something she apparantely knows nothing about. Just knit a real nice sweater and wear it to work.


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## reek1845 (Jul 11, 2011)

I think you are calling her position incorrectly. Try stupidvisor!


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## MaryanneW (Jun 5, 2011)

The connection between knitting and it being an 'old lady' activity just never entered my head when I came back to it seven years ago. (I'm 63) What blows my mind is as I got into it more and more and read different websites and blogs how popular it is among all ages and the variety of yarns, methods, stitches, well, you can just go on and on! I think we're the 'in' crowd! I wanted to be a part of it! Yea, for knitting!


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## DebNannyMom (Oct 10, 2011)

I'm jumping in with my KP sisters here. I was a DON at a nursing home and it was hard enough work without belittling coworkers. That supervisor needs to be taught how to be a supervisor. If she thought she was being humorous, Jay Leno, she is not!
And remember, in Ireland, only the men were ALLOWED to knit. The women cleaned, carded, and spun the wool. And men here do wonderful yarn work when they do it. I would imagine your mis-spoken supervisor would have never had the (ah hem,please excuse) testicular fortitude, to make such an inane statement to a male employee who knitted.
Well, Merry Christmas. And the knitted lump of coal with a few I cords for switches thrown in sound like a wonderful Christmas present for your supervisor.


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## VeronicaK2P2 (Jan 31, 2011)

Hi egknitter, Well, you got my "dander" riled up! If I could have thought fast enough in the moment (which is very difficult), my response would have been: "Making fun of something I do is totally unacceptable to me. Your comments sound disrespectful and make me feel unsafe here. I'd like an immediate explanation of your behavior or an apology from you." If she didn't comply, I would report her to her supervisor. If she was like this to you, she is likely to be like this to others, and if enough reports come in on her, I would think your business would take some sort of action. I would not give her anything I knitted. Give it to someone who would appreciate it or keep it for yourself. Us knitters know how peaceful and lovely it is to do what we love to do!


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## PittyPat (Jul 2, 2011)

I am still in the medical workplace, HR would classify this a" harassment". She can be reported and HR would have to in investigate. Me? I would just ignore her and keep on doing my job, but DOCUMENT each time she is offensive. Oh yes, keep the scarf....


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## DebNannyMom (Oct 10, 2011)

PS, documentation of the inappropriate behavior is the correct thing to do over time if she presents more of the same. If it is a one time thing, then perhaps she just had a bad day.

pocono.carol is spot on about not being professional yourself in reporting this to save the company down the line of a poor supervisor. It costs a company quite a bit to hire, train, and pick up pieces of a disgruntled employee--especially if he/she left under harassed circumstances. So if further episodes are witnessed or experienced, document the objectives: saw, heard, time, date, who else was present, etc. Save your feelings/subjectives for a separate report or an addendum to that one. Put in quotations verbatim remarks.


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## bonbarnie (Jan 23, 2011)

hi: it was her upbringing. on thanksgiving i took some scarfs that did not sell at a local craft show. the teens, 20year olds and older family members grabbed them so fast and wore then throughtout dinner. they could not stop thanking me and wore them home over their jackets. that poor girl you work with must also be a brat in other ways. poor mother if she says things to non family, her family must really love her to visit!


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## sam07671 (May 12, 2011)

marylo12 said:


> Sounds like she's the jealous, insecure type who needs to knock others down to build herself up. As a prvious post mentioned, I'd wear some of my fabulous items to work and if she asks about them, I'd answer: "That's what this grannie knitted on the front porch in her rocker."
> I'd also still give her the scarf and sign the card:"From Grannie's front porch." She'll get the idea.


OHHHHH Thats a good idea with giving her the scarf and what to write on the card. I like that one. :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## SharonM (Nov 25, 2011)

or maybe... just maybe... she was kdding around with you and didn't expect your reaction. i get kidded all the time at work by colleagues and supervisors alike... it isn't their intent to be mean and if they thought i was taking their jokes seriously i know they'd be upset. don't take it to heart... although... i do like the knitted lump of coal idea! after all, two can joke around!!!


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## djones5252 (May 6, 2011)

I agree that she was (is) extremely rude and I would not waste my time even re-thinking what she said. And, I would not give her the knitted present because I don't believe she would appreciate it OR wear it - at least so that you would know! But, your description brings up a pet peeve of MINE! Every time anyone wants to relay something "stupid" or clueless or whatever, "they" (if they are not from the South) always love to use their idea of an exaggerated "Southern" accent! I use to run into that all the time when I traveled for business. Each time a speaker at one of our meetings (made up of people all over the U.S.) wanted to say something ridiculously stupid, they would attempt to use a Southern accent..... Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think ALL idiots are from this South! For example, just look at your young supervisor! ;-)


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## 3mom (Apr 20, 2011)

LEE1313 said:


> OH gosh I just saw a knitted lump of coal last week on some knitting sight. PERFECT for her.
> Rude and in poor taste. But people like her are why we need to knit to keep our sanity.
> 
> Linda[
> ...


[/quote]

Hey, cool........ :thumbup:


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## Clickers (Apr 8, 2011)

stitchedhen said:


> Oftentimes those who have no sense of creativity, are talentless, and have no skills at doing anything will begrudge those who do. If it were me, I would give her the scarf anyway, with a note that it was hand-knitted with fondness. I'm sure she'll be very ashamed of herself after receiving it.


She would probably ruin it the first time she laundered it.


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## Patternprincess (Sep 8, 2011)

I love lizzieshome's answer. Some people have just the right reply, said with a smile on their face, and the person doesn't even know you just took them down a peg! I think that's a gift in itself!


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## 3mom (Apr 20, 2011)

Just because she acts like a bore is no reason for you to. I agree with the asssessment that she's ignorant and childish, but keeping notes seems to be a good idea. But do it in front of her, so she will know. What do you think, ladies?


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## pet (Nov 24, 2011)

I would have told her that knitting helps me to relax and I get something wonderful to wear out of it. Maybe if she knitted she wouldn't be so uptight! Tell her if she gets tense a lot maybe she should try it.


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## 3mom (Apr 20, 2011)

djones5252 said:


> I agree that she was (is) extremely rude and I would not waste my time even re-thinking what she said. And, I would not give her the knitted present because I don't believe she would appreciate it OR wear it - at least so that you would know! But, your description brings up a pet peeve of MINE! Every time anyone wants to relay something "stupid" or clueless or whatever, "they" (if they are not from the South) always love to use their idea of an exaggerated "Southern" accent! I use to run into that all the time when I traveled for business. Each time a speaker at one of our meetings (made up of people all over the U.S.) wanted to say something ridiculously stupid, they would attempt to use a Southern accent..... Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think ALL idiots are from this South! For example, just look at your young supervisor! ;-)


As a traveler, I lived in Oklahoma for a few years and picked up their accent very fast and whenever I'm around anyone with an accent, mine comes back quickly. I love the southern accent! To me, it bespeaks a gentle time, when females were ladies and males were gentlemen. We've lost this, sadly. But now I'm from Maine, and people stereotype us as "hillbillies".


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## Lovinknittin (Apr 2, 2011)

egkntter said:


> I happen to mention about my sweater project in conversation at work, and my supervisor who is younger than me, started making fun of people who knit, asking if I sit in a rocking chair she then started rocking back and forth on her heels imitating someone knittinf mimicking and old woman from the south saying "back in the days when I was a youngin..." I could have slapped her sensless but she is my supervisor who is younger than me! I hate people like that.. and I was knitting a scarf i was going to give her well Guess what, Coal for her stocking


First of all - I would do everything I could to get it out of my mind BUT as others have said, I would document everything that is fresh that she says. I would also document the good things that you do for the company and what an asset you are. Then, enjoy yourself and do your knitting or whatever else you want to do to clear your mind of her words always. I don't think it would hurt to mention her words to her in the future, in some calm, nice moment when it comes up such as somebody mentions your knitted article or whatever. I don't think it would hurt to let her know that you remember what she said. Sometimes people think about things when they know it was not nice and that you remember the rude remark! ;-)


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## Daniele1969 (Aug 12, 2011)

SharonM said:


> or maybe... just maybe... she was kdding around with you and didn't expect your reaction. i get kidded all the time at work by colleagues and supervisors alike... it isn't their intent to be mean and if they thought i was taking their jokes seriously i know they'd be upset. don't take it to heart... although... i do like the knitted lump of coal idea! after all, two can joke around!!!


I agree with SharonM. I get it ALL the time. I'm the "rocker/alternachick" of our group of friends. knitting is not exactly the "coolest" of hobbies. They like to tease.... I just blow it off. If I took everything everyone said to me to heart, I would be one of the angriest people in the world!! Anger and grudges solve nothing. I just smile and say "what do you know... [email protected]$$." and laugh.

Fight the stereotype Ladies!!!

Dani


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## eneurian (May 4, 2011)

pocono.carol said:


> Document, document, document! INAPPROPRIATE AND UNPROFESSIONAL BEHAVIOR IN THE WORKPLACE IS UNACCEPTABLE. If she was this crude to you I am sure her attitude toward others will be similar. The productivity of those she manages will go down. If her Human Resources is not informed of her style, the blame will not rest on her shoulders but on those she manages. From a business perspective this is something that needs to be addressed sooner than later. She is in need of professional guidance.
> 
> Keep a little memo book in a pocket, jot down time and place, with a detailed description of what took place. This is I observed, this is when it happened, this is where it happened.
> 
> ...


agreed. to all of the abovr and in addition it is illegal. she has a boss who should be notified asap about this incident and immediately regarding all future occurrences because there will be more. she is a bully. if her boss doesn't do anything to stop this behavior go over their head as well.

i was in a similar situation as the president of the company hated me. no known reason and it was obvious to all. i reported him to osha. he was fined 3 times. i was awarded a disability claim and when i eventually had to stop working due to his mistreatment he was fired but the holding company. since he was unemployed he was also deported. sorry australia, but we have enough a**holes in america, had to give yours back.

seriously this is a liable offense. don't just endure. if you don't do something she will and possibly has already hurt someone else. please as long as we simply endure these subhuman creatures they will continue to abuse us.


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## nitrpat (Apr 1, 2011)

egkntter said:


> I happen to mention about my sweater project in conversation at work, and my supervisor who is younger than me, started making fun of people who knit, asking if I sit in a rocking chair she then started rocking back and forth on her heels imitating someone knittinf mimicking and old woman from the south saying "back in the days when I was a youngin..." I could have slapped her sensless but she is my supervisor who is younger than me! I hate people like that.. and I was knitting a scarf i was going to give her well Guess what, Coal for her stocking


I say give it to her anyway - "kill her with kindness" - she'll get the message!


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## Barbara Spoo (Jan 23, 2011)

I'd try something different: "Well, you know not everyone likes to knit. It takes someone good in mathematics; a lot of concentration, creativity and eye/hand coordination. I wouldn't recommend it to someone who doesn't have a lot of patience.
Maybe someday you would like to learn. If you want to try, let's try at lunch someday. Have you seen the multi-colored fairisle socks that are popular now? They are done on four needles with the yarn on spools." (That should give her something to think about. If's its rude, she has something to think about.


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## keeperoftheflame (Aug 2, 2011)

egkntter said:


> I happen to mention about my sweater project in conversation at work, and my supervisor who is younger than me, started making fun of people who knit, asking if I sit in a rocking chair she then started rocking back and forth on her heels imitating someone knittinf mimicking and old woman from the south saying "back in the days when I was a youngin..." I could have slapped her sensless but she is my supervisor who is younger than me! I hate people like that.. and I was knitting a scarf i was going to give her well Guess what, Coal for her stocking


Considering all this emphasis on "political correctness and diversity in the work place", she should have been sent for sensitivity training. And you should have filed an harrassment complaint with your HR person.


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## sam07671 (May 12, 2011)

Well this is my honest opinion.....But then again what do I know but here it goes. She is young from what you have said and does not have the expirence in life to appreciate such fine things. It sounds to me that she feels a bit superior over everyone else because of her job. That is fine but it will all catch up with her in the end. You said she is on the heavy side. Well maybe she is using that against her and feels insecure because of her weight and has developed this attitude because of that. There could be many reasons why she aacts like she does. She could be a spoiled little rich brat...she could have had a hard life growing up...familhy problems...it could be a milliion diffrent reasons she is like she is. I don't excuse her for her rude comment and actions that was totally rude. But with some people like that you just blow what they say off and smile graciously. Sounds like this young lady has some hard knocks in life to learn and one day it will come around and something or some one is going to teach her that hard knock. 

I do home health care and work with 2 mentallhy and physically handicapped men. I take my knitting to work with me and work on it during the quite lulls I have while there. They look forward to seeing me knit and what I am working on next and the progress of how a project is coming along. My co-workers enjoy seeing what I am working on and one is just amazed at what I make and the results. Not everyone is rude like your supervisor in fact I think she is a very small group of rude people that do not appreciate handmade things. To each their own. If you don't want to give her the wscarf that is fine. Give her some homebaked cookies or something. Okay I am getting off my soapbox now.


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## LisePB (Feb 19, 2011)

Can you knit her a scarf made out of steel wool? LOL Just to let her see how ruff she is on the edges!! OK that is my nasty mood of the day! 
She is lucky she doesn't have me on her team. Can you imagine what a whole department of knitters would do to her? I am laughing just thinking about it.


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## Grankl (Sep 11, 2011)

Sounds like she really does not like herself so she puts down others! Do not let her rudeness effect your love of knitting! There are always those that find that sort of behavior "funny"!


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## Robin Redhead (Feb 25, 2011)

Isn't her behavior a form of harassment? It certainly is "ageism". Does she act this way to other people and about other things? Sounds like this could evolve into an HR issue... if you want to pursue it.


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## Hil (Dec 17, 2011)

How rude!!
Take no notice and keep on knitting. I know who I would rather have as a friend. 
New Years resolution.....find a new job where you are truely appreciated xx


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## tricilicious (Aug 30, 2011)

I knit all the time especially when I go on coach holidays to Europe. The other passengers are all interested and say how clever I am(which I'm not, especially when I see all the wonderful talented people on here). I think some people can't cope with their own inadequacy and show it by mocking others talents. She's not worth bothering about.


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## tricilicious (Aug 30, 2011)

I love your answer LisePB.


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## SharonM (Nov 25, 2011)

wow.... what a super-sensitive society we've become! from not being able to take a joke about knitting to harassment about age....seriously? i once had a boss who, after a harassment training session was afraid to compliment my perfume for fear that his comment would end up in HR... same concept. really people... lighten up.... there are enough issues in life to upset us without turning a smarta** comment into WWIII


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## djones5252 (May 6, 2011)

BABYANDBOO'SMOTHER: I thought the term "hillbillies" was also reserved for Southerners, not people from Maine! Maybe we are just called "********". LOL! Whatever! I love my South! And, when I traveled a lot for business, one of my best friends was from Maine. BEAUTIFUL state! In fact, beautiful people from all over our wonderful US and also outside the US! Sorry, I've gone off on a tangent..... Merry Christmas and keep knitting!


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## barborza (Nov 19, 2011)

I am now an old lady (68) and have been knitting since I was 10. Made my first sweater at age 13. I just finished the last of my hand knitted Christmas presents. I learned long ago that those who don't appreciate my work, or take good care of it are off my list. I don't have a rocking chair though.

The lump of coal is a great idea!


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## Mamajan (Nov 29, 2011)

This supervisor has a long way to go before she is grown up enough to understand everyone is different ,or to be gracious enough to show some interest whether she is or not..Poor do,very poor do.i dont like her either


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## jltrask (Feb 18, 2011)

I would advise you to develop a "thicker skin". In our workplace, a lot of teasing goes on as well as practical jokes. I've been teased for knitting on my lunch hour - and I've been complemented and thanked for things I've made and worn or given. Although there is a definite hierarchy, in some ways we're like a family. Supportive and caring, sometimes moody or irritating... But not often purposely rude. And like in a family, sometimes younger people are clueless and selfish. Some never grow out of it! 

However, if it really bothers you, I would just gently tell her sometime soon that you were hurt by what she said, even if it was teasing, and you want to talk about it before you let what she said ruin your work relationship. You could even put a note with the scarf and say you hope she likes it, that you were knitting it for her and even though you were hurt by what she said, you want to put it behind you and want her to have it. Don't say or write it sarcastically. Even have someone else read it to see if it sounds offensive. 
You might find you have taught the supervisor some helpful etiquette, which many young people are never taught, and you might gain a friend if you can do it right. Then again, she may be highly offended, but at least you will have tried. It's better than being bitter.


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## Hil (Dec 17, 2011)

How rude!!
Ignore her and keep on knitting. I know who I would rather have as a friend xx


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## barb5350 (Aug 15, 2011)

Don't let this person ruin the joy and satisfaction you have from knitting. People don't understand the friendships, the sharing and communities formed thru this craft. She's the one who is to be felt sorry for.


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## BobnDejasMom (Jun 2, 2011)

I would not give her the scarf. She doesn't deserve anything that you spent your time and talent making, much less the love we knit into our projects. I don't like to be mean, so I usually pray that people like that will get a better job...in another town.


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## Jean 45 (Dec 7, 2011)

I feel badly that so many knitters are made fun of. I have been knitting since I was 12. People were amazed that I had an interest that young. When I was in high school I paid for my senior expenses by knitting mittens and selling them. I have taught knitting in the communities I've lived in. Fellow workers would ask me to teach them...another class. I have had nothing but positive. Now I am retired and still knitting and making friends thru my knitting. You just have to ignore those people and see them for who they really are, sorry and shallow. And keep knitting. The best therapy there is.


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## 7953Princess (Sep 20, 2011)

Very juvenile on her part and highly unprofessional.


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## gramm27 (Oct 22, 2011)

I really wouldn't get upset about her rude comments. If she was so rude to you about knitting then my guess is that's she's rude about many things. Let her make fun of knitting....who cares? We are the talented and crafty ones. Those that make fun of others are apparently very unhappy.


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## CarolynV (May 23, 2011)

I would remind her that knitting is one of few things that balances both sides of the brain. And I know I am glad I can and do knit as it helps me keep balanced and deal with all sorts of people and things that come my way. All with a serene smile !


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## ginger57 (Mar 5, 2011)

egkntter said:


> I happen to mention about my sweater project in conversation at work, and my supervisor who is younger than me, started making fun of people who knit, asking if I sit in a rocking chair she then started rocking back and forth on her heels imitating someone knittinf mimicking and old woman from the south saying "back in the days when I was a youngin..." I could have slapped her sensless but she is my supervisor who is younger than me! I hate people like that.. and I was knitting a scarf i was going to give her well Guess what, Coal for her stocking


Courier770 and I think alike on this one.  Here's just one link from Jimmy Beans Wool complete with pics of not just young women but young men all from Hollywood. She needs to stop living in such a small box.
No doubt she will recognize all of these people. ha ha! She's not rude - she's childish and ignorant. Put her wise. http://www.jimmybeanswool.com/photoGalleryEmmys2007.asp


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## Daniele1969 (Aug 12, 2011)

SharonM said:


> wow.... what a super-sensitive society we've become! from not being able to take a joke about knitting to harassment about age....seriously? i once had a boss who, after a harassment training session was afraid to compliment my perfume for fear that his comment would end up in HR... same concept. really people... lighten up.... there are enough issues in life to upset us without turning a smarta** comment into WWIII


SharonM, I think you and I are on the same page and yes, I have come to the conclusion that our world has become SO sensitive to every little comment that people are afraid to talk to each other... I personally think all this politically correct business is for the birds!!

Yes, there are some comments that SHOULD NOT be made, but perfume?! Come on!! Has everyone become so touchy? Why? People need to relax a little...

Okay, I'm done....

Dani


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## carmella (Feb 28, 2011)

Her Christmas gift---- a copy of Zen and the Art of Knitting by Bernadette Murphy. I just started it and have copied a lovely section to enclose in the gift of knitted slippers I am giving my best friend who is wheelchair bound.
It may or may not change your supervisor's horrible behavior, but it may give you satisfaction and you won't be wasting your time knitting for her.


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## Pocahontas (Apr 15, 2011)

SharonM said:


> wow.... what a super-sensitive society we've become! from not being able to take a joke about knitting to harassment about age....seriously? i once had a boss who, after a harassment training session was afraid to compliment my perfume for fear that his comment would end up in HR... same concept. really people... lighten up.... there are enough issues in life to upset us without turning a smarta** comment into WWIII


Yes, we have become "super senstitive" and people don't want to be "offended". Beware - work place violence is an all-too-common occurence. In our city this week, a 26 year old supervisor in the meat dept. of a local grocery was stabbed to death by a 50 yr old disgruntled employee who had issues with the performance evaluation he had been given.
The young female supervisor in question here lacks professionalism and has much to learn. Personally, I would let it slide. I think we have already determined that there are some out there that think knitting is for "old ladies". I just say "Knit On"!


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## cathy47 (Jun 6, 2011)

this putting children in charge leaves me wondering at times. Well she is young...I would have told her it could be her one day. I would go ahead and give her a scarf. Sometimes you have to chip away at the ice to get to the core of humanity. She is a child has a lot of growing up to do one day she will be standing in your shoes. Let her know how relaxing knitting can be and just keep knitting around her... Ol granny is waiting for her to get a rocking chair to sit and knit in. Is what i would say when I saw her. Then tell her no you want a recliner..Sometimes one must turn the table back at people like this. Oh, and let her know there are people out there male and female way younger and they knit and enjoy it. Rude...at the moment...but brush it off the kid needs to learn something.


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## leslie41447 (Feb 7, 2011)

Jennifer Aniston knits... between filming her scenes... and she ain't no old lady!!!


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## joycevv (Oct 13, 2011)

Yes, very rude! I personally think knitters dwell in a superior realm!


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## Schoeneckwren (Apr 11, 2011)

My husband used to be like that, then he started to listen to all of our friends who were oohing and ahhing over their handmade gifts. Then he would be upset because I will knit in the car and he thinks I miss all of the scenery, so I started to knit in the car after dark also so he could see I don't have to look constantly at the knitting. Now he is dropping hints about how he'd like an Irish sweater. Ha ha. As soon as I learn how to knit cables on sweaters. (I have knit cable on scarves and blankets, but they were flat pieces. LOL)


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## Deanne (Jul 21, 2011)

I worked in a high school and knitted on my lunch hours as did several of the women I worked with. And not only that one of the male teachers also joined us and knitted. He knit the most beautiful sweater for his wife. I think some of the other male teachers envied him.


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## heathert (Jul 27, 2011)

Hahaha. Bad luck for her.


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## egkntter (Sep 28, 2011)

WHHHOOOEEEEEEEE if you know how to bind up some brillo pads, I would brillo bom her cubicle....ahahahahahah you guys know how to make a person laugh...
Its bad enough that the company is a vender for a big financial institute and we do their financial paper work, the company( mine) had been making way to many mistakes, ant the bank, fines us a chunk of money its happen so much now my company has started to write up us employees for our mistakes( lost mail, ect) guess what I made a mistake and got my butt slapped, but hey I still have my job, it was also the same week I dropped the stitches on that sweater and I found that SPEED gets you nowhere but in trouble FAST.. so Ive slowed down my knitting speed, and my work speed, They know about her, and how she is, frankly she should have been fired quite a while back thats how LAX my company is. My new years resolutions
get financialy fit 
find a job.
and knit like a druggie does his stuff ALL TH TIME. cant at work though if i could those needles would be poking out of her when I was done attacking her and I would be in jail..
Maybe a voodoo doll with not just pins, but Knitting needles HEHEHHE


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## fisherbug (Sep 5, 2011)

Print out these posts and with pictures of knitted items.
It won't stop her comments but should be nice for conversations.


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## Ms Sue P (Mar 19, 2011)

Stablebummom said:


> Perhaps the supervisor needs to be "frogged"! LOL. What an insecure, immature, self centered little brat! And I don't have strong feelings about that at all! I used to be a supervisor and would never have thought to do or say anything like that!


I to was a supervisor at one time and would never have spoken to any of my people like that and besides that if my supervisor had heard of me speaking like that she would have skinned me alive. There is just no excuse for it. She just does not have a clue and infor a very rude awakening.
Enjoy your knitting and pay her no mind.


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## e.ridenh (Jan 24, 2011)

egkntter said:


> I happen to mention about my sweater project in conversation at work, and my supervisor who is younger than me, started making fun of people who knit, asking if I sit in a rocking chair she then started rocking back and forth on her heels imitating someone knittinf mimicking and old woman from the south saying "back in the days when I was a youngin..." I could have slapped her sensless but she is my supervisor who is younger than me! I hate people like that.. and I was knitting a scarf i was going to give her well Guess what, Coal for her stocking


~~~~~~~~~~~
Know what, sweetie.....I think, and perhaps I shouldn't, but I'd lump this and give her the scarf anyhow - it's the season. While being the bigger person is difficult anytime, it just would be a display of graciousness on your part to not let her get to you.....reckon she's just throwing her weight around or something......?

Anyhow, folks like her do need a '''role modele'''. Yes, give her the scarf, Eg....I don't think you'll be sorry....even if she rejects it - that's her problem.......

Good luck, too and happy holidays to you and yours!

Donna Rae


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## Schoeneckwren (Apr 11, 2011)

I was just sharing this with my spouse, who said that this creates a hostile work environment and if you mentioned this to Human Resources, you would probably get an apology at the least. There are lawyers ready and able to take on discrimination and agism claims.


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## Arwin (Nov 16, 2011)

i vote for knitting her a lump of coal!!! but i wouldn't take her comments seriously, she doesn't know what she is talking about (obviously) i had to go thru that with my in-laws starting 25 yrs ago!! no matter what craft i was pursuing at the time, i even gave a hand made "ornament" to everyone one year with their names on them, felted snowmen,angels & santas, well anyway, to make a long story short, nobody appreciated them, only my parents, but i am sure that the in-laws have just tossed them away because in the many Christmas's that have passed, no one has put their ornaments on their trees, so i just don't bother with them anymore, & save my crafts for others who appreciate them


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## tamarque (Jan 21, 2011)

I would sweetly say that you guess the scarf you were making for her will go to someone who is homeless and more deserving.


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## Poe (Oct 31, 2011)

Unfortunately idiotcy knows no bounds when it comes to the young. I usualy just give rude people a "look" that shuts them up in a heart beat. No words needed.
Poe


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## PaKnitter (Mar 7, 2011)

You already gave her the scarf and it wasn't appreciated so next year find something nice at a thrift store, clean it up and give it to her and smile to yourself.


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## MaryE. (Feb 16, 2011)

I don't think it's jealousy, but ignorance. Many people have never been exposed to crafts. They aren't taught in most schools and unless you have been exposed to someone who does knit, crochet or some other handwork, all you know about are the sterotypes as demonstrated by your supervisor. The only "person" she has ever seen knitting is very likely to have been in a cartoon. Still, I'd have been pretty irritated too. Do you have a pretty lace scarf you could wear one day so she can see what knitting can accomplish and if she comments, you can rock back and forth on your feet? It would be a great teaching moment and very satisfying, maybe even more so than that lump of coal.


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## vickitravels (Aug 7, 2011)

I don't care if she is a supervisor or not, I would never make comments like that about anyone! Maybe in her family in the south they didn't teach manners!


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## susannahp (Nov 7, 2011)

You know I have noticed an increase in stupidity and ignorance in this world and I have to admit that your supervisor has an abundance of it , it must be difficult to be that stupid and ignorant, of course one must realize that she was most likely raised that way , after all ignorance and stupidity begets ignorance and stupidity, ignore it you wont change her mind she is just has no couth!!


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## artbycarol (Oct 17, 2011)

Sounds like your supervisor is jealous of your creative endeavors. I say give her the scarf. I wonder how she would feel then.


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## chrysson (Dec 9, 2011)

lizzieshome said:


> I would just have to smile and tell her "well, bless your heart, you really just don't have a clue do you"


Your answer is perfect and made me smile. My mother, bless her soul, always said you could say anything to or about anybody as long as you added "...bless his/her heart".


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## heathert (Jul 27, 2011)

I agree with you Dani. Political correctness has gone crazy. With us Aussies an insult is a compliment as in, if we call someone a d/head we generally like them. Gotta be careful these days though.


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## laurie4 (Nov 3, 2011)

i would definitely give it to her and in the card write from grannie knitting on the front porch turn it into a funny thing instead because you will just stay angry and not a good thing for you


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## SilverWeb (Aug 20, 2011)

egkntter said:


> I happen to mention about my sweater project in conversation at work, and my supervisor who is younger than me, started making fun of people who knit, asking if I sit in a rocking chair she then started rocking back and forth on her heels imitating someone knittinf mimicking and old woman from the south saying "back in the days when I was a youngin..." I could have slapped her sensless but she is my supervisor who is younger than me! I hate people like that.. and I was knitting a scarf i was going to give her well Guess what, Coal for her stocking


The last place I worked this would have been considered harassment, even sexual harassment because of the way she said it (Mimicking an old woman from the south). At the very least she is causing a hostile work environment for you and you have every right to file a complaint about it. Any kind of harassment and causing a hostile work environment are against the law. I take offense at this and I don't even work there.


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## Lovinknittin (Apr 2, 2011)

e.ridenh said:


> egkntter said:
> 
> 
> > I happen to mention about my sweater project in conversation at work, and my supervisor who is younger than me, started making fun of people who knit, asking if I sit in a rocking chair she then started rocking back and forth on her heels imitating someone knittinf mimicking and old woman from the south saying "back in the days when I was a youngin..." I could have slapped her sensless but she is my supervisor who is younger than me! I hate people like that.. and I was knitting a scarf i was going to give her well Guess what, Coal for her stocking
> ...


I now agree with Donna Rae. That's a much better way of looking at it. You'll feel better. You could say that this is the scarf you were talking about and maybe she would like it. That would diminish the meaning of her comment and you'll have a Merry Christmas. Then, if she makes any negative comments, take them and realize that there is something going on here and she is not happy, I guess.


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## Hazel Blumberg - McKee (Sep 9, 2011)

Your supervisor does sound immature and ignorant. If she doesn't know that knitting is the cool thing to do (we've all known this for years, of course), she's hopelessly out of touch with reality. And she IS rude.

She doesn't deserve the scarf you were knitting for her. Give it to someone else who'll appreciate it.

Sheesh. People can be such idiots! And of course, you can't respond in kind because she's your supervisor.

Hazel


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## Rose of Sharon (Aug 13, 2011)

Totally agree with you, Yvette.



mtnchild said:


> I doubt if anything you say would make her think about what she said to you - I believe she would just continue belittling knitters.
> 
> Wear your beautiful work and ignore her. If she continues with her comments, report her; that's what I would do.
> Hugs
> Yvette


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## nhauf001 (Jan 18, 2011)

She sounds like an abusive boss in training. Hopefully her supervisor recognizes the trait and makes sure she doesn't advance until she learns to treat everyone (including her employees) with respect.



egkntter said:


> I happen to mention about my sweater project in conversation at work, and my supervisor who is younger than me, started making fun of people who knit, asking if I sit in a rocking chair she then started rocking back and forth on her heels imitating someone knittinf mimicking and old woman from the south saying "back in the days when I was a youngin..." I could have slapped her sensless but she is my supervisor who is younger than me! I hate people like that.. and I was knitting a scarf i was going to give her well Guess what, Coal for her stocking


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## gypsie (May 28, 2011)

It's just ignorance, ignore it! Maybe she will live long enough to become more informed and eat her words some day. I sure have!


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## bizzyknitter (May 10, 2011)

I don't think anything would change this woman..I can just imagine how you felt. She must be a very lonely and miserable person. Most people when they see me knit they always say they wish they could and if I had time could I teach them.
Next time she does that why don't you say..."Would you like me to teach you...Oh but I forgot you need brains to knit."

Happy Holidays....and keep knitting.


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## sharmon10 (Sep 4, 2011)

Give her the scarf and celebrate your talents. I didn't want to be "old" like my mother and didn't learn to knit until I was in my 50's. Now that my mother is gone, I'm so sorry I missed a great opportunity to learn a craft from her. She was a skilled knitter but I was too you to understand that.

Give her a chance to "grow up."


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## Ingried (Sep 23, 2011)

She has a lot of lessons to learn. Superiors are to GUIDE not GOAD.
It is apparent that she is totally unqualified to be in any leading position. Her inadequacies are very visible.

Who ever selected her to her position is lacking as well.

Wear pretty things you made and if possible share them with
co-workers while leaving her out. 
If she ever makes such stupid remarks again just say: "I understand,
engineering is probably not your strength". Knitting is engineering of a sort.


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## hotske (Aug 27, 2011)

Be better then her and give her the scarf...she is not the sharpest knife in the drawer. You are however are a knitter and that sets you apart..so don't let that turkey get you down. Keep knitting and don't worry about what others say. It's a very freeing experience!

Merry Christmas to you and everyone on KP.


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## CarolfromTX (Nov 30, 2011)

Of course it was rude! And totally uncalled for! I've been told knitting is "matronly." HA! It's a hobby that's productive, too. Ignore her.


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## kayrein (Aug 24, 2011)

Rude and ignorant. And insensitive. Stupid. Shame on her. Ignore her comments. :-(


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## Lovinknittin (Apr 2, 2011)

egkntter said:


> I happen to mention about my sweater project in conversation at work, and my supervisor who is younger than me, started making fun of people who knit, asking if I sit in a rocking chair she then started rocking back and forth on her heels imitating someone knittinf mimicking and old woman from the south saying "back in the days when I was a youngin..." I could have slapped her sensless but she is my supervisor who is younger than me! I hate people like that.. and I was knitting a scarf i was going to give her well Guess what, Coal for her stocking


I've commented twice already but on re-reading this, I think she was really trying to make a dumb joke! Not funny to most people with manners. So, maybe our perception is wrong - that she is not being as terrible as it sounded. So, give the scarf as if you did not feel any great bad feelings. If you say anything and make reference to the statement, it will come out like you are mocking her and you'll look bad. Keep it in mind in case of other bad comments and if you hear them, then that means that she is being mean and somebody will eventually call her on it.


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## Country Bumpkins (Feb 18, 2011)

egkntter said:


> I happen to mention about my sweater project in conversation at work, and my supervisor who is younger than me, started making fun of people who knit, asking if I sit in a rocking chair she then started rocking back and forth on her heels imitating someone knittinf mimicking and old woman from the south saying "back in the days when I was a youngin..." I could have slapped her sensless but she is my supervisor who is younger than me! I hate people like that.. and I was knitting a scarf i was going to give her well Guess what, Coal for her stocking


 So what's wrong with an old lady from the south rocking and knitting? hehe. I have been knitting in the south since I was 11. And I did it on my grandmother's porch while she talked about being a youngin' Lol. I would not give that brat your beautiful work under any circumstance. She still wouldn't appreciate it. Give it to someone that likes your work or keep it yourself! She would probably get rid of it. People are just rude and hateful!


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## mtn meme (Feb 17, 2011)

Being southern AND blonde, I'm accustomed to being the butt of jokes. It's amazing how much I've been able to accomplish before people realize I'm clever!


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## Valanteen (Sep 28, 2011)

She would only understand the Bless your heart if she is from the South. Its right up there there with her opinion being "precious". I agree with the statement she s NOT supervisor material. There is no doubt her parents were lacking social skills...she is proof. A good supervisor is always gracious.


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## Country Bumpkins (Feb 18, 2011)

mtn meme said:


> Being southern AND blonde, I'm accustomed to being the butt of jokes. It's amazing how much I've been able to accomplish before people realize I'm clever!


Amen! Not blonde tho. lol


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## gina (Jan 18, 2011)

How old is this person? If she said that knitting is for old ladies, I'd tell her that short skirts, or sleeveless blouses, or bright makeup, or whatever she wears, is for young girls. 

Guess I'm not as nice as you. I'd destroy her...There's always something about a person you can pick on.

But seriously, this woman should not be in a position of authority.


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## Alvin (Sep 30, 2011)

Why not give her the yarn, knitting needles and the pattern for the scarf for Christmas.


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## anima57 (Jun 22, 2011)

i would have reported her ass on the spot to someone above her! totally inappropriate, NOT a joke and extremely rude to anyone but especially to a subordinate.


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## jjane139 (Mar 16, 2011)

I'd say, go for the most magnanimous action. This foolish young woman is sowing the seeds of her own destruction. Never having learned that the means are part of the end, people like her rarely get as far in life as they want to and assume they will. I agree with another contributor here, that she is insecure and needs to make fun of others in order to build herself up. We wiser heads know that this never works! I hope that you will give her the scarf in spite of everything, with a tag that says Merry Christmas. I hope also that you will not concern yourself with what she does with your gift. My mother brought us up with the wisdom, "Other people's sins (faults, shortcomings) do not excuse your own." You be as generous as you know how to be, pray that soon or late her heart will be touched, and keep those knitting needles going.


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## pfoley (Nov 29, 2011)

If she says that again say with an honest face, and with no sarcasm, 
"I'm so glad you told me how you feel about knitting: I know now that you would never want a knitted scarf as a gift, and that's fine. I was in the middle of knitting you a scarf, but I will give it to my friend instead; no problem.
I am just glad you mentioned how you feel about knitting before I gave it to you; that's all." 
Remain unaffected by her comments.
Then let it go.


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## vchase (Mar 16, 2011)

Insecure, rude, uncouth, whatever you can label it she is!

People like this are all over and perhaps the best we can say about them is that they make the rest of us look like Saints!

Try to ignore her, as best you can ignore a supervisor. She is not worth your time and anguish. One wonders how she got her job as supervisor. Since you are literally stuck with her, pretend she is not there except when she is addressing you for business purposes' and keep on knitting, it does help ease stress and that you have with her!


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## sasvermont (Mar 3, 2011)

Goodness! How rude of her. 

You know they teach knitting in the first grade to kids going to the Waldorf Schools (private, new-age style). Knitting (and other crafting) can teach young ones many things at one time. Too bad Ms. Muffet didn't get to learn when she was young. 

I would consider telling her that even if she was interested in learning to knit, she's way over the hill now - missed her chance when she was young. Too bad.

I learned to knit when I was 7 or 8. 

What a jerk she is - and needs to go to a refresher course on being diplomatic. 

I didn't read all the posts in this thread, but bet they all say about the same thing....

Keep knitting and ignore the ignorant ones!


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## Ronie (Jan 21, 2011)

some people are just mean spirited.. I bet her mom and aunts are the same way. If they don't understand it or if it doesn't fit into their life style the think its silly or view these things in a negative way... no worries she will get more bitter with time and be a very unhappy person because of it.. you enjoy your beautiful sweater... I'd give her the scarf anyway... see her reaction.. she may get a bit of regret over the whole thing. after all you were making it for her in the first place..


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## Leland Sandy (Aug 24, 2011)

What a jerk! Be careful, though. I had a supervisor who was a bit younger than I was and when I attempted to offer an original thought on office procedure, she felt threatened because I'm not stupid. It took her a while to find something she could take to HR (it was a lie but her word against mine) and eventually, I got fired. 

I find it really disturbing that women in the workplace are so hard on one another. Seems like we should be supporting each other - like we do here.


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## Neeterbug (May 25, 2011)

She is definitely NOT supervisory material. I think I would have made sure the two of you were alone and I would have told her that she is a supervisor and that she should act like one. 

I did this once when the manager of our department was not doing her job...told her that she was a manager and that meant that she is suppose to manage. Wasn't much longer after that that she was fired. I was often asked why I wasn't the manager of our department since I had been there for over 20 years. My answer was always..."I am not a good manager candidate." I enjoyed my job...did not want to manager...they would have hated me.


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## Valanteen (Sep 28, 2011)

Southern accents and red hair present a whole different bag of problems but you are right, we can accomplish a whole lot sub rosa.


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## wyldeflowyr (Sep 24, 2011)

I agree with everyone who has spoken here. Not only rude, but insulting. Obviously your sup is not only insecure, but poor supervisor material. There's a saying, "people rise to the level of their incompetency." Sounds like your sup has done that. Thank goodness you have your knitting to help you with the stress of working with her.


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## headlemk (Feb 16, 2011)

This is inexcusable and unacceptable behavior, and harassment. If this is a pattern with her she should be reported to upper management or HR. HR is supposed to be there to protect the employees from harassment.

If she wants to stay in a position of authority, she needs retraining in basic managerial skills, which does NOT include insulting your employees, including about what they do in their personal time. 

Keep a log, if she continues, so that you have records of her harassment. Then if she tries to make trouble for you in the work place you have some ammunition. Back it up with a co-worker if you can.


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## Valanteen (Sep 28, 2011)

Good idea


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## Meditation601 (Feb 23, 2011)

eg..... It just shows her STUPIDITY! I have a nurse who is an addicted knitter and also my nurse's aide just learned how to knit and she is so thrilled. She is already thhinking ahead about the projects she wants to do...


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## Lovinknittin (Apr 2, 2011)

Country Bumpkins said:


> egkntter said:
> 
> 
> > I happen to mention about my sweater project in conversation at work, and my supervisor who is younger than me, started making fun of people who knit, asking if I sit in a rocking chair she then started rocking back and forth on her heels imitating someone knittinf mimicking and old woman from the south saying "back in the days when I was a youngin..." I could have slapped her sensless but she is my supervisor who is younger than me! I hate people like that.. and I was knitting a scarf i was going to give her well Guess what, Coal for her stocking
> ...


Mmm - interesting way of looking at it. I like appreciation.


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## sasvermont (Mar 3, 2011)

Office/business managers are in a "no win" situation quite often. I was an office manager for a couple of different law firms totaling 25 years. I was a good manager in many ways - mostly because I never cared to listen to the office gossip and didn't attend the after work parties. I wanted to keep a comfortable distance with the employees. I was always the first person they would come to when they needed a favor (i.e. borrowing my car for an errand, getting a ride home etc. etc.) I would never have said what that chick said about someone else's knitting. Good grief. 

Managers need to stay neutral all the time. Then, when the time is appropriate, make a decision as to how the situation should be handled. I said "I will get back to you" so many times it can't be counted. Gave me time to think and rethink. 

I bet this manager will shoot herself in the foot sooner than later.


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## Homeshppr (Feb 28, 2011)

Wear her lovely scarf for yourself and use any comment she makes to let her know it was intended for her, but you decided she'd appreciate it a lot less than you yourself.


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## kinneytaw (Dec 7, 2011)

That supervisior needs to be reported to HER supervisior and you need to get wittnesses to back you up. She is not supervior material at all. A good super tends to build up her employe4es and makes them feel good so they will want to work there and do a good job. 
Get testimonies of what happened in writtinf from fellow employees and be prepared to take them to her super even if it that person happens to be the boss. What she did can be considered harrassment. I have worked in offices and another employee made fun of a cap i knitted. I was only 26 years old so not a granny yet, nor a mom either. The other employees chewed him out on the spot.


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## Lovinknittin (Apr 2, 2011)

headlemk said:


> This is inexcusable and unacceptable behavior, and harassment. If this is a pattern with her she should be reported to upper management or HR. HR is supposed to be there to protect the employees from harassment.
> 
> If she wants to stay in a position of authority, she needs retraining in basic managerial skills, which does NOT include insulting your employees, including about what they do in their personal time.
> 
> Keep a log, if she continues, so that you have records of her harassment. Then if she tries to make trouble for you in the work place you have some ammunition. Back it up with a co-worker if you can.


Comment: Note: Rare for a supervisor to ever get thrown out before you, I think.


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## cydneyjo (Aug 5, 2011)

Just remember, what goes around, comes around.


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## headlemk (Feb 16, 2011)

Lovinknittin said:


> headlemk said:
> 
> 
> > This is inexcusable and unacceptable behavior, and harassment. If this is a pattern with her she should be reported to upper management or HR. HR is supposed to be there to protect the employees from harassment.
> ...


but it does happen. I've seen it happen. If they're bad managers and HR does it's job as it should, they will get the boot.


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## headlemk (Feb 16, 2011)

kinneytaw said:


> That supervisior needs to be reported to HER supervisior and you need to get wittnesses to back you up. She is not supervior material at all. A good super tends to build up her employe4es and makes them feel good so they will want to work there and do a good job.
> Get testimonies of what happened in writtinf from fellow employees and be prepared to take them to her super even if it that person happens to be the boss. What she did can be considered harrassment. I have worked in offices and another employee made fun of a cap i knitted. I was only 26 years old so not a granny yet, nor a mom either. The other employees chewed him out on the spot.


It helps tremendously when other employees are willing to back you up...that's the key. Make sure you have witnesses. Her behavior was unacceptable and inexcusable.


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## cbjlinda (May 25, 2011)

Anyone who goes to that much trouble to make fun of something is someone who is evidently very jealous of you or the attention you were getting for your knitting. I would put it down as what it is " she is just plain insecure and rude . For her stocking I would purchase a little book of manners. lols welllll maybe considering she is your boss you should drop that idea.


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## mmccamant (Jul 17, 2011)

As a lifelong Northerner, I love the expression "Bless your heart," which I have learned from Southern friends is loaded with meanings other than outright blessing!


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## Gabriell (Sep 13, 2011)

I just can't imagine being so rude about something she knows nothing about. Just get along because she is your supervisor but know in your heart she is just plain clueless.Not worth your time trying to explain the joy of knitting.


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## mmccamant (Jul 17, 2011)

lizzieshome said:


> I would just have to smile and tell her "well, bless your heart, you really just don't have a clue do you"


As a lifelong northerner, I love that expression, "Bless your heart," which I have learned from Southern friends is loaded with meaning much deeper than the simple blessing it appears to be on the surface!


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## headlemk (Feb 16, 2011)

Gabriell said:


> I just can't imagine being so rude about something she knows nothing about. Just get along because she is your supervisor but know in your heart she is just plain clueless.Not worth your time trying to explain the joy of knitting.


Problem is, if you just "go along to get along" she'll never learn how to be a good supervisor. She needs to be called on her behavior by someone over her, such as HR or her manager.


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## wreni (Dec 6, 2011)

Frog the Supervisor!

I like it.

~w


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## Cheryl Jaeger (Oct 25, 2011)

Hi : "You might try saying to your Supervisor in the future if she makes any more negative comments to you "Thats Nice"

Its a standing joke . hmmmm It will make you feel better .


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## Elaineanne (May 25, 2011)

I don't like it either and I do not think it is right, yes she is jealous because she probably cannot knit.


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## PamP (Nov 6, 2011)

I mentioned knitting to my hairdresser and she made the usual comment by one who does not know any better and I told her I loved to knit, that it was very relaxing and her response was that maybe she needed to learn as she needed something to destress. :thumbup:


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## Sine (Jun 12, 2011)

egkntter said:


> I happen to mention about my sweater project in conversation at work, and my supervisor who is younger than me, started making fun of people who knit, asking if I sit in a rocking chair she then started rocking back and forth on her heels imitating someone knittinf mimicking and old woman from the south saying "back in the days when I was a youngin..." I could have slapped her sensless but she is my supervisor who is younger than me! I hate people like that.. and I was knitting a scarf i was going to give her well Guess what, Coal for her stocking





headlemk said:


> This is inexcusable and unacceptable behavior, and harassment. If this is a pattern with her she should be reported to upper management or HR. HR is supposed to be there to protect the employees from harassment.
> 
> If she wants to stay in a position of authority, she needs retraining in basic managerial skills, which does NOT include insulting your employees, including about what they do in their personal time.
> 
> Keep a log, if she continues, so that you have records of her harassment. Then if she tries to make trouble for you in the work place you have some ammunition. Back it up with a co-worker if you can.


As a retired Human Resources Director, if someone came to me and told me this story, I would have talked to the supervisor about age discrimination and how it is against the law. Not only was she rude; she was bordering on illegal. I would also talk to her supervisor or manager and place a note in her personnel file that I had talked to her. I would also expect that this behavior would show up on her yearly performance review.


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## acourter (Sep 30, 2011)

My Mother was born and raised in Houston, Texas. She used to tell me that when dealing with "tacky" people, you could say almost anything about them if you prefaced your remark with "bless her heart". So, you could say this about or to your supervisor, "Well, Bless your heart . Your Mamma didn't teach you respect for others or manners, did she?" 

Your supervisor must be a pretty insecure, unhappy person. If it helps, just feel sorry for her while you create beautiful, self satisfying things while she wallows in her insecurity.

There's nothing "tackier" in the world than being rude and hurtful to others.


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## User5935 (Feb 9, 2011)

My husband jokes to me (I'm 29) about the same thing, that knitting is for old ladies. He also had the wrong idea that hand made knits look hand made, and not professionally made with crisp lines etc. I've shown him some of the things you all have posted, he has been quite impressed with many of them! This twit is ignorant. I like the scarf "from granny's porch" idea. More importantly though, pay attention to whether or not it continues to bother you. It may be worth saying something. She didn't display tact in any way, and more importantly she broke whatever team mentality you may have had with her. Its hard to work for people who offend you.


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## diamondbelle (Sep 10, 2011)

Rude and immature. Ask her if she thinks Julia Roberts, Vanna White, Madonna are old ladies in rocking chairs - LOL.

Here's a link to an article about celebrity knitters. You'd be surprised at some of the names and ages of them. Everyone from Dakota Fanning to Madonna, Cameron Diaz, David Arquette (participated in a knitting project for breast cancer).

http://www.knittingforcharity.org/legitimatize_your_fascination_with_celebrity_knitting.html


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## Valanteen (Sep 28, 2011)

Amen!


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## Corrine Andrews (Aug 17, 2011)

Just remind her of all the young film stars that knit. 
I would just treat it with contempt and go on being
civil to her. She certainly wouldn't be on my present list any more! Have a very happy christmas.


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## cablenut (Oct 19, 2011)

Wow. What a response! I'm glad you spoke up. Lots of good ideas & I love the humor angles. THat really helps take the sting off.
I wouldn't give her the scarf (and am glad you gave it to someone who appreciates knitting) because she wouldn't know what to do to take care of it, let alone how to wear it. Seriously I wouldn't give her the chance to dig at you further on that subject. By all means, though, keep knitting in public whenever you feel like it. 
As for how to handle such a demented person, it depends on what the problem is. I mean deep down. Is she as deficient in empathy for others as it looks? Different strategy than for people who actually feel for &/or care about others. (The Sociopath Next Door -is a book that goes into details, and also Malignant Self Love -by Sam Vaknin- is on narcissists and what to do if you happen to be saddled with one) There are ways to avoid some of their abuses, but it's important to know the techniques.
I seriously hope she was just awkwardly trying to be funny -as opposed to actually trying to hurt your feelings. Sounds like it wasn't humor, though. Ridicule is the stock and trade of some rather unpleasant personality disorders. 
Needless to say, I love your idea of finding a happier work situation, if the company isn't willing to do anything about such a liability as your supervisor seems to be. There must be some reason they've kept her, because it sure isn't her people skills.


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## onesoutherngal (Jun 6, 2011)

Oh now THaT would inspire me to find the most yummy yarn around and make fabulous things to wear to work...

And when she asks you to make her something, ( and she will)

Take it off and give it to her, and say, it was meant to be your Christmas gift, but after your comment I did not think you would want it"


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## SIPSIS (Oct 24, 2011)

Put sign on your desk: "Ignorance is bliss & akin to Stupidity"...From the way it sounds, she will find it "cutsie" and won't have a 'clue' that it is directly aimed at her...hmmm..ya think? :-\


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## ladybug59 (Apr 18, 2011)

News flash "old women from the south" do not sit in a rocking chair and do anything.We are to busy doing everything else.She is just jealous because she can't knit.Yes she is a rude insensitive idiot.


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## Mountain Mama (May 1, 2011)

BABYANDBOO'SMOTHER said:


> djones5252 said:
> 
> 
> > I agree that she was (is) extremely rude and I would not waste my time even re-thinking what she said. And, I would not give her the knitted present because I don't believe she would appreciate it OR wear it - at least so that you would know! But, your description brings up a pet peeve of MINE! Every time anyone wants to relay something "stupid" or clueless or whatever, "they" (if they are not from the South) always love to use their idea of an exaggerated "Southern" accent! I use to run into that all the time when I traveled for business. Each time a speaker at one of our meetings (made up of people all over the U.S.) wanted to say something ridiculously stupid, they would attempt to use a Southern accent..... Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think ALL idiots are from this South! For example, just look at your young supervisor! ;-)
> ...


 I, too, pick up accents from the people around me. Once it was a guy who had just emigrated from Scotland. He immediately asked me where was my hometown in Scotland. Very embarrassing to tell him I was just imitating his accent, all unknowing. I hadn't even realized I was doing it until he asked me about my "hometown".


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## Mountain Mama (May 1, 2011)

I think I would pin up a picture of Russell Crowe, and when she asked why, say you just like to look at fellow knitters!


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## Lillysmom (Aug 9, 2011)

egkntter said:


> I happen to mention about my sweater project in conversation at work, and my supervisor who is younger than me, started making fun of people who knit, asking if I sit in a rocking chair she then started rocking back and forth on her heels imitating someone knittinf mimicking and old woman from the south saying "back in the days when I was a youngin..." I could have slapped her sensless but she is my supervisor who is younger than me! I hate people like that.. and I was knitting a scarf i was going to give her well Guess what, Coal for her stocking


I think the best thing to do is just laugh and ask her where she got such a silly idea.

You may also want to report her poor behavior to her boss or Human Resources Dept.


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## katrinka (Sep 27, 2011)

stitchedhen said:


> I would give her the scarf anyway, with a note that it was hand-knitted with fondness. I'm sure she'll be very ashamed of herself after receiving it.


I don't know if I'd write "w/fondness", nor whether she'll be ashamed, but it would be a nice gesture on your part. The KnitPicks coal's not a bad idea either, though...
kat


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## SIPSIS (Oct 24, 2011)

If I were to get someone's name for Mystery Santa, and they were anything like your supervisor, then I would go to the All For A Dollar store for her present...$10 ceiling? $20 ceiling? Whatever the amt, I would buy strictly from the Dollar Store...Would be staying within the amt set forward, but would def be letting her know how much she is appreciated/worth...oops! Did I say that thought out loud?? GOOD!!!


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## marion07 (Nov 26, 2011)

Did you mention to her that Julia Roberts is a knitter?


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## katrinka (Sep 27, 2011)

Double post. Sorry!
kat


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## marion07 (Nov 26, 2011)

Did you mention to her that Julia Roberts is a knitter?

What a Grinch!!


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## Linda6885 (Feb 13, 2011)

It is absolutly unacceptable behavior!


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## Randus (Dec 13, 2011)

Can I have the scarf ... please, please, please ... I promise not to be rude and to exhibit a modicum of maturity: please, please, please.


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## groovyboomer (Jul 28, 2011)

lizzieshome said:


> I would just have to smile and tell her "well, bless your heart, you really just don't have a clue do you"


I'm laughing, because I understand that in the south if you say, "Well, bless your heart..." it pretty much means you are a dumb s**t. Is that not correct?


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## Country Bumpkins (Feb 18, 2011)

groovyboomer said:


> lizzieshome said:
> 
> 
> > I would just have to smile and tell her "well, bless your heart, you really just don't have a clue do you"
> ...


No it means I feel sorry for you. ahahha


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## katrinka (Sep 27, 2011)

pocono.carol said:


> Document, document, document! INAPPROPRIATE AND UNPROFESSIONAL BEHAVIOR IN THE WORKPLACE IS UNACCEPTABLE. If she was this crude to you I am sure her attitude toward others will be similar. The productivity of those she manages will go down. If her Human Resources is not informed of her style, the blame will not rest on her shoulders but on those she manages. From a business perspective this is something that needs to be addressed sooner than later. She is in need of professional guidance.
> 
> Keep a little memo book in a pocket, jot down time and place, with a detailed description of what took place. This is I observed, this is when it happened, this is where it happened.
> 
> ...


Couldn't have said it better myself!
kat


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## headlemk (Feb 16, 2011)

groovyboomer said:


> lizzieshome said:
> 
> 
> > I would just have to smile and tell her "well, bless your heart, you really just don't have a clue do you"
> ...


That is correct. Dumb as a stump and couldn't find their way out of a wet paper sack.


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## tootsie001 (Jan 23, 2011)

Don't fret!! You can't educate those that choose to be ignorant. Put head phones on and knit. That way you get pleasant sounds and no criticism. I knit all the time is different places. Have had good experiences and a few negative ones. With the negative ones I usually ask that person, "what do you like to do" Do you have any special talents that you would like to share?" Mostly, they turn a lovely shade of pinkish red and usually they stammer and leave. Mission accomplished. Don't let anyone take the joy out of your life. Remember you are loved and appreciated here.


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## headlemk (Feb 16, 2011)

Maybe you could add, "Oh, my other hobby is sharp shooting ... and I'm an ace shot ..." then smile sweetly and blow imaginary smoke from the end of your knitting needle.

Unfortunately she'd take offense at that and imagine you were threatening her. Those that dish out usually cannot take it when it's aimed at them.


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## QHMom (Jun 6, 2011)

My vote RUDE and I wouldnt give her the scarf either!
I have handmade every gift I've given since I lost my husband at 29 yrs old and tried to instill the "Meaning of Christmas" back into my sons and we LOVE giving gifts from our hearts we've made with our hands! My sons are now 30 & 26 and still continue this tradition!


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## Promise1 (Nov 15, 2011)

I am sure the scarf will be lovely, and I would give it to the rude lady. If she has any memory at all, she might even be a bit embarrassed. More and more young folks are starting to knit, so she probably will also, especially once she has kids. Be bigger than she is!!!!! but in a very nice way, since she is your boss.


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## Ciyona (Jan 17, 2011)

You should show her the video Tom Hanks pulled on Sandra Bullock about knitting. She's not so old and knits in her spare time when not filming.


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## katrinka (Sep 27, 2011)

> I agree with SharonM. I get it ALL the time. I'm the "rocker/alternachick" of our group of friends. knitting is not exactly the "coolest" of hobbies. They like to tease.... I just blow it off. If I took everything everyone said to me to heart, I would be one of the angriest people in the world!! Anger and grudges solve nothing. I just smile and say "what do you know... [email protected]$$." and laugh.
> 
> Fight the stereotype Ladies!!!
> 
> Dani


Dani, 
You are wise for any age! Great response. I love being an 'alternachick' still, even @ 56 years young! Must be the grandgirlz.
kat


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## sam07671 (May 12, 2011)

Lillysmom said:


> egkntter said:
> 
> 
> > I happen to mention about my sweater project in conversation at work, and my supervisor who is younger than me, started making fun of people who knit, asking if I sit in a rocking chair she then started rocking back and forth on her heels imitating someone knittinf mimicking and old woman from the south saying "back in the days when I was a youngin..." I could have slapped her sensless but she is my supervisor who is younger than me! I hate people like that.. and I was knitting a scarf i was going to give her well Guess what, Coal for her stocking
> ...


 :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## Karena (Jul 3, 2011)

The young or younger lady appears ignorant. Show her the Deborah Norville or Vanna's Yarn, explain Martha Stuart enterprises, and the ladies on TV making seven figure salaries. 
Maybe you could take a position of educating the "youngin" her so she doesn't sound so . . . well "plain ol' stupid." 
Seems she needs hit over the head. 
Rude and very, very unprofessional. What happened to manners anyway. 
Karen


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## dotcarp2000 (Sep 5, 2011)

Just give us her pertinent info and we'll put a contract out on her. Just kidding of course. She is certainly rude but it takes a bigger person to smile and realize that she's not worth the anger. We love you !!!!!!


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## Karena (Jul 3, 2011)

The company put this person in the supervisory position. Probably won't last long. I believe Human Resources works for the comapny, keeping it out of legal troubles. I think showing her the women who are wealthy because of their "hobby" would impress more. Or if not, nothing will. 
Karen


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## Ewenme (Mar 8, 2011)

I've read this thread with the greatest interest. Rude people are everywhere, and of every age. I think we ladies on KP should put together a BOOK: "Knitting is for Girls: of Every Age" and make it sort of like a scrapbook with photos and patterns, and show that girls from an early age learn to do things productive, beautiful, clever, fancy, plain, luxurious, useful, and every other adjective one can think of. Who knows what impact it could have on the rude people of the world. That would make a great gift for the Rude and Nasty supervisor. I'd even contemplate sending her a scrapbook of all the comments from this thread.


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## Stablebummom (Dec 5, 2011)

There ya go! KNIT a voodoo doll and use your smallest sharpest needles to stab it! lOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!


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## Palenque1978 (Feb 16, 2011)

I totally agree; she's not supervisor material; plus, she's ignorant. There are many people in all walks of life and ages... and sex (men knit too) that are avid knitters. I'm sorry you had to experience her insensitivity and rudeness. 

Just brush it off... and you do your thing; keep on knitting. I'm sure there are many who want and appreciate your knitted items.


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## bizzyknitter (May 10, 2011)

Mountain Mama said:


> I think I would pin up a picture of Russell Crowe, and when she asked why, say you just like to look at fellow knitters!


Russell Crowe knits?


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## onesoutherngal (Jun 6, 2011)

groovyboomer said:


> lizzieshome said:
> 
> 
> > I would just have to smile and tell her "well, bless your heart, you really just don't have a clue do you"
> ...


It is used in many ways... Good and bad... It's all in the tone and the eyes of the speaker.... That's why it is so powerful, lol


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## 4578 (Feb 2, 2011)

Did anyone else hear her remarks to you? This was abuse - emotional and psychological. No abuse can be tolerated in the work force (not in home either). Take it to upper management. They are required to make sure this type of "management" does not continue. If she works this way with one of the employees she is hired to manage, she has/will abuse another. Needs to be stopped. She is creating an unfriendly work environment.


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## Ranger371 (Oct 29, 2011)

She sure was rude!! What goes around comes around!


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## rujam (Aug 19, 2011)

She's probably jealous because she can't knit.rujam


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## 4578 (Feb 2, 2011)

Did anyone else hear her remarks to you? This was verbal abuse - emotional and psychological. No abuse can be tolerated in the work force (not in home either). Take it to upper management. They are required to make sure this type of "management" does not continue. If she works this way with one of the employees she is hired to manage, she has/will abuse another. Needs to be stopped. She is creating an unfriendly work environment.


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## Stablebummom (Dec 5, 2011)

I use Bless his/her pointy little heart a lot, I picked it up from a relative and use it for babies and kiddies a lot. Always in a sympathetic or rewarding manner. I'll have to remember that about the Southern use tho! Could be useful!


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## crochetnutt (May 14, 2011)

I would give her the scarf. Then she might know what its like to get hand made items.


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## laurie4 (Nov 3, 2011)

love all the comments will keep them on file but it is the xmas season and we should calm this poor lady down hope you make the right decision u still have to work under her but the wicked side of me says and thinks things i cannot repeat on here lol


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## Ms.Fire (Dec 17, 2011)

Wow! This gal is a supervisor? I would take this to Human Resources in a heartbeat. I hope you have witnesses to this. I am a CEO of a company and she sounds a little too immature to work for me. Not only that, she is giving you a form of discrimination that is not well tolerated in many work forces now days. Let's hope by seeing your knitting work she has some change of attitude.


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## jangail719 (Mar 1, 2011)

egkntter said:


> I happen to mention about my sweater project in conversation at work, and my supervisor who is younger than me, started making fun of people who knit, asking if I sit in a rocking chair she then started rocking back and forth on her heels imitating someone knittinf mimicking and old woman from the south saying "back in the days when I was a youngin..." I could have slapped her sensless but she is my supervisor who is younger than me! I hate people like that.. and I was knitting a scarf i was going to give her well Guess what, Coal for her stocking


Why not give her the scarf anyway? Kill her attitude with kindness and see what she says.


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## procrastin8or (Jul 1, 2011)

Report her to the Human Resource department for 'age harassment'! She certainly needs to take one of the workplace discrimination courses... especially since she did it twice.


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## BGL (Feb 16, 2011)

Barbara Spoo said:


> I'd try something different: "Well, you know not everyone likes to knit. It takes someone good in mathematics; a lot of concentration, creativity and eye/hand coordination. I wouldn't recommend it to someone who doesn't have a lot of patience.
> 
> Best reply I have seen so far, but I haven't read all 16 pages of replies!
> I agree with the above, couldn't have been said better. I think I would go back to doing whatever I was doing, though, and let it sink in. No offer of teaching her anything, and I mean anything!
> ...


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## LindY G (Dec 2, 2011)

That person (I won't say lady, obviously she's not) needs to go to a manners school. How did such an uneducated person become a supervisor. The most precious gift a person can get is handmade, knit & crochet items are priceless.


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## Stampergrandma (Jun 6, 2011)

Personally I think that she is not only rude, but a poor example of a supervisor! Although I love the forgiving and beautiful attitudes here on K.P., I think there is no excuse for making fun of a person that has a hobby, you are not interested. Supervisor's should have taken courses in tolerance in the work place. She should be fired for her terrible behavior! I know,that many of you may think that I am being as bad as her, but there are too many people who think that cruelity is o.k, and resort to it daily! Just saying.


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## Karena (Jul 3, 2011)

Besides knitting a Voodoo Doll, take a nice book to work. Maybe a Debbie Bliss or something big from the library where it shows all ages knitting. There are clubs who carryout tradition, crochet, knit, keep the patters going. 
What a dunce of a supervisor, huh? I say be patient, supervisor will move on, those people do. 
Karen


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## Stablebummom (Dec 5, 2011)

Has anyone noticed how many of us have dogs? Is it a "knitting gene"? Or do we just like another form of fiber around our homes? I tell people dog hair is a condiment at my house!


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## Kathie (Mar 29, 2011)

Diplomacy is the ability to tell someone to go to He** and make them look forward to the trip

Love it. I'll have to remember that quote.


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## SharonM (Nov 25, 2011)

love the "diplomacy" quote... use it often when describing my boss (affectionately and not in anger) she certainly has that gift. as for reporting to HR, forget it... they likely won't do anything. as for discrimination, hostile workplace and so on... perhaps... but isn't is easier to just walk away? you know upper management won't do anything anyway. just take the high road and know you're the better person.


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## SAMkewel (Mar 5, 2011)

Dimples16 said:


> KnittingGran said:
> 
> 
> > She's just jealous because she can't knit. Offer to teach her!
> ...


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## egkntter (Sep 28, 2011)

UH OH looks like I stirred up a hornets nest on this site and in my head, been thinking about this all day and everytime I come on the sight more pages of response's have popped up. Yes unfortunatly the BIG time manager was not there wish he was but he probably wouldnt have done anything about it, never does. I "sucked it up" and let it go, until after I choked on my orange i was eating at the time, then later it ran through my head and I thought That B**** and let it go, like other things Ive let go, It is the way she is, and not having anything to do with my job, I dont want to start a fire in the work place, were already having major working performance issues. So now its up to me to either confront her about it, with it wrapped or not give it to her at all, you guys got me going both ways so bad my heads spinning. I love the ideas, and the warm feelings. Believe me I'm ok, I just didnt know what to do, part of me says like you guys say give it to her , dont give it to her she doesnt deserve it..????


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## AuntieDel (Mar 18, 2011)

egkntter said:


> I happen to mention about my sweater project in conversation at work, and my supervisor who is younger than me, started making fun of people who knit, asking if I sit in a rocking chair she then started rocking back and forth on her heels imitating someone knittinf mimicking and old woman from the south saying "back in the days when I was a youngin..." I could have slapped her sensless but she is my supervisor who is younger than me! I hate people like that.. and I was knitting a scarf i was going to give her well Guess what, Coal for her stocking


oopsie! new keyboad malfunction...


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## IndigoSpinner (Jul 9, 2011)

Julia Roberts knits. She wore a hat she knitted in one of her films. In fact, Tom Hanks learned to knit (along with the whole cast and crew) to play a prank on her. She'll be starring in The Friday Night Knitting Club.

Marina Syrtis (of Star Trek) knits. So do Cameron Diaz, Madonna, Winona Ryder, Tracy Ullman, Hillary Duff, David Arquette, Daryl Hannah, Joan Crawford, Felicity Huffman, Kristen Davis (Sex in the City), Russell Crowe, Marilou Henner, Katharine Hepburn, Dakota Fanning, and I'm sure I've missed someone. I dare her to find a common denominator among them other than being a celebrity!


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## Palenque1978 (Feb 16, 2011)

lostarts said:


> Julia Roberts knits. She wore a hat she knitted in one of her films. In fact, Tom Hanks learned to knit (along with the whole cast and crew) to play a prank on her. She'll be starring in The Friday Night Knitting Club.
> 
> Marina Syrtis (of Star Trek) knits. So do Cameron Diaz, Madonna, Winona Ryder, Tracy Ullman, Hillary Duff, David Arquette, Daryl Hannah, Joan Crawford, Felicity Huffman, Kristen Davis (Sex in the City), Russell Crowe, Marilou Henner, Katharine Hepburn, Dakota Fanning, and I'm sure I've missed someone. I dare her to find a common denominator among them other than being a celebrity!


Even Cary Grant gave knitting a wack at it ... for the movie, Mr. Lucky.

LOL... I saw a clip of Tom Hanks and the rest of a movie's cast and crew that were knitting to surprise Julia Roberts, who is always knitting between shots. It was hilarious.


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## Mamajan (Nov 29, 2011)

Mountain Mama said:


> BABYANDBOO'SMOTHER said:
> 
> 
> > djones5252 said:
> ...


i too pick up accent rapidly and goodness knows there are plenty in England.Withing 13 miles of where I was born I know of four different accents.


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## AuntieDel (Mar 18, 2011)

egkntter said:


> I happen to mention about my sweater project in conversation at work, and my supervisor who is younger than me, started making fun of people who knit, asking if I sit in a rocking chair she then started rocking back and forth on her heels imitating someone knittinf mimicking and old woman from the south saying "back in the days when I was a youngin..." I could have slapped her sensless but she is my supervisor who is younger than me! I hate people like that.. and I was knitting a scarf i was going to give her well Guess what, Coal for her stocking


Hi!

I read this and the first page of responses and I have a question... Where is the famous knitter's sense of humor about knitting?

Sure, that may not have been a 'right' comment but I would have looked at her, bent my back and pretended to use a cane then with a wobbly voice said something along the lines of "Whippersnapper! Git! A'fore I whack ye wit' ma cane!" Then laughed the whole comment off.

So do something even worse than revenge... forgive her, make her scarf extra special and with love and I think she will get the message when you hand her the gift. Perhaps add a pair of needles and small ball of yarn with a note to teach her how to knit wrapped inside.

How about a new Kitter's Motto:

Those who cannot, Tease. Those who can, Teach.


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## pocono.carol (Nov 30, 2011)

egkntter, one of the many reasons I suggested you document her behavior is because you mentioned in one of the threads that her supervisor does fulfill his obligations to lead. 

One of my positions was replacing a supervisor that started out like her and her negative behavior escalated over a 5 year period to making physical threats on her subordinates. She was turned in into HR by a manager of another department when HE heard and saw the way she treated her subordinates (not my words his words to HR) and found out her direct supervisor never did anything. Both were fired. 

The people I managed were TERRIFIED of doing anything that might upset me. The department had the highest absenteeism rate of the company, as well as the highest turnover. It took me an entire year to calm everyone down enough so that they could do their jobs. From my perspective they went through hell and it was totally uncalled for. 

If anyone had spoken up in her first few months on the job HR could have turned her around. You are not doing her or your coworkers any favors protecting her. She is young and can learn. Young minds are pliable. She needs the tools to lead and HR cannot give her those tools if they do not know she needs them.

Just my thoughts.


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## Elin (Sep 17, 2011)

She's rude to the extreme. But just think, with people like her, we really appreciate the nice people that we meet. Have a Merry Christmas.


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## sasvermont (Mar 3, 2011)

This is a little off topic.

At one of the large law firms, years ago, when I first arrived I handed out a questionaire to the staff and asked that they all fill it out, not sign it and that it would never be seen by anyone but me. I was amazed at what I found out by reading the forms. I never did show them to anyone else, as promised. I could figure out the authors eventually just by what they said about about whom...etc.

I rather liked managing groups of 50 or so in staff/folks. I am not sure I could do more than 50 though.

I, too, would document the event and keep a file ready for the future.


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## Miri (Dec 17, 2011)

I agree with courier770, but on the other hand, why give her comments any credibility by offering a reply. She should not be in the position of supervisor. Don't be discouraged, keep knitting. If she makes another comment, I would ask her to speak to you with some respect if she wants a reply.


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## killashandra (Nov 22, 2011)

Fortunately, when I was a teen I was taught a very important little saying that has worked wonders in my life. I would love to pass it on here. "To thine own self be true." Never let anyone else's stupidity or rudeness change the type of person you wish to be. It goes along with "kill them with kindness". Since you are obviously a very kind and giving person since you are making a scarf for her, do not let her negativity change that wonderful part of you. This is a perfect "do unto others" lesson for your boss. You continue to give to her and don't let her change the wonderful person you are and she will feel guilty for making fun of you even if she doesn't show it. It can sometimes be very difficult to show care for someone who's behavior is not deserving but it is always the best way to act in the long run. She sounds like she is not very confident in her ability to lead or be the boss especially being younger and so she is forcing herself to try and look as if she is 'in control'. If so, what she needs most in life is some kindness.
Hope I don't sound too preachy......I just know how much this has helped me and want to share.


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## Gidget'smom (Jul 31, 2011)

It was rude and immature of your supervisor.


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## acourter (Sep 30, 2011)

groovyboomer said:


> lizzieshome said:
> 
> 
> > I would just have to smile and tell her "well, bless your heart, you really just don't have a clue do you"
> ...


Pretty Much!


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## Irish maggie (May 11, 2011)

KnittingGran said:


> She's just jealous because she can't knit. Offer to teach her!!


I agree :thumbdown:


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## Irish maggie (May 11, 2011)

killashandra said:


> Fortunately, when I was a teen I was taught a very important little saying that has worked wonders in my life. I would love to pass it on here. "To thine own self be true." Never let anyone else's stupidity or rudeness change the type of person you wish to be. It goes along with "kill them with kindness". Since you are obviously a very kind and giving person since you are making a scarf for her, do not let her negativity change that wonderful part of you. This is a perfect "do unto others" lesson for your boss. You continue to give to her and don't let her change the wonderful person you are and she will feel guilty for making fun of you even if she doesn't show it. It can sometimes be very difficult to show care for someone who's behavior is not deserving but it is always the best way to act in the long run. She sounds like she is not very confident in her ability to lead or be the boss especially being younger and so she is forcing herself to try and look as if she is 'in control'. If so, what she needs most in life is some kindness.
> Hope I don't sound too preachy......I just know how much this has helped me and want to share.


 You are sooo right


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## Knitwitch51 (Oct 20, 2011)

That's the spirit! What about offering knitting lessons at lunch hour? Would help all who have to work under such an insensitive supervisor. I concur with others; remarks such as this are intimidating and out of line. It would not be tolerated in my former work place. In fact, my staff could hardly wait for Christmas to roll around to see what I had knit for them. I didn't look to see where you live. How about knitting a pair of fingerless mitts and sell tickets and donate the money to a charity.


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## leighanne1968 (Apr 10, 2011)

Wow, at age 16 when I taught myself to knit, I didn't really consider myself that old at that time. Wonder how old I am NOW if that was old THEN (assuming knitters are all old)!! LOL


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## leighanne1968 (Apr 10, 2011)

lostarts said:


> Julia Roberts knits. She wore a hat she knitted in one of her films. In fact, Tom Hanks learned to knit (along with the whole cast and crew) to play a prank on her. She'll be starring in The Friday Night Knitting Club.
> 
> Marina Syrtis (of Star Trek) knits. So do Cameron Diaz, Madonna, Winona Ryder, Tracy Ullman, Hillary Duff, David Arquette, Daryl Hannah, Joan Crawford, Felicity Huffman, Kristen Davis (Sex in the City), Russell Crowe, Marilou Henner, Katharine Hepburn, Dakota Fanning, and I'm sure I've missed someone. I dare her to find a common denominator among them other than being a celebrity!


Did anyone see the hat turned tube top that Hillary Swank had on Ellen? It was so funny! But that's another to add to the list. My father used to knit as well.


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## Pat Hurley (Sep 24, 2011)

Hello, I don't usually join in the conversations but to this I had to reply..I'm sorry she was so rude, she is a reflection of her upbringing or lack thereof...obviously in her case its the later. She will show her true self to HER superiors at some point, my advice is to keep quiet and let her think she is "hot stuff" as we used to say. YOU don't want to rock the boat as she will be writing your evals...I wouldn't give her anything I had made. Let her buy it at a very good price! Sorry, I just had to chime in here....Happy Holidays.Pat, Virginia Beach,Va.


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## MrsJanis678 (Jun 15, 2011)

Knitting is healthy for you, more relaxing than doing yoga so the medical reports say.....she's not stupid just uninformed and misguided. You just keep on knitting!!


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## MarilynKnits (Aug 30, 2011)

Perhaps, since the supervisor seems to be a clod of the first order, you should keep a diary of her actions. There may come a day, particularly if she is still there when you are ready to move on to retirement or another job, when you want to file a complaint regarding a hostile work environment, and will want all the ammunition documentation can give you. Meanwhile, you are walking the high road and she has the chance to eat her heart out when you wear the lovely unique items you create. Remember, the best revenge is looking good!


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## MarilynKnits (Aug 30, 2011)

At least when we knit or crochet our artistic creations are useful as well as lovely. Try wearing an 8 x 10 oil painting to keep you warm when it snows. So who are the smart people?


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## egkntter (Sep 28, 2011)

I did put the offer to teach her when she said no way knitting is for old ladies, which got me thinking she wouldnt appreciate getting a hand made BY ME gift for her..


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## C J (Nov 17, 2011)

Very rude and I beleive considers you a threat. I managed a bank and would have never spoke to an employee in such a manner. Nor would I have tolerated a supervisor behaving in such a matter. Again, I think she considers you a threat. Please do not let her get to you - she will do her self in,


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## Judy in oz (Jun 19, 2011)

I would have said '''Gee, I was knitting you something unique and special, but now that I know how how you feel about knitting art, I will give it to someone else who will appreciate it" and walk away....and NEVER tell her what it was that you were knitting. Judy


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## Cheryllum (Mar 26, 2011)

Forget the coal. She honestly deserves "reindeer poo".


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## Karena (Jul 3, 2011)

Finally, supervisor will get hers, what goes around comes around. Jobs are scarce, and you have to protect that first. Discretion is the better part of valor. To anyone who knits, who wears fine crafted knits, or has enjoyed a gift from a knitter, she just appears ignorant. Let it go. 
Karen


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## Karena (Jul 3, 2011)

Yes, I have dogs, cats and horses. Usually, whatever shows up stays. 
Karen


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## Becca (Jan 26, 2011)

egkntter said:


> I happen to mention about my sweater project in conversation at work, and my supervisor who is younger than me, started making fun of people who knit, asking if I sit in a rocking chair she then started rocking back and forth on her heels imitating someone knittinf mimicking and old woman from the south saying "back in the days when I was a youngin..." I could have slapped her sensless but she is my supervisor who is younger than me! I hate people like that.. and I was knitting a scarf i was going to give her well Guess what, Coal for her stocking


Go to http://www.knitpicks.com and type in Grumpy, Lump of Coal and download the free pattern to make this cute desk ornament. You might want to add rice or beans instead of stuffing to make a bean bag. Or felt it and stick very long hat pins in it. So many options, so little time since December 25 is almost here. Just a thought for someone so thoughtless.

Happy knitting.

Becca


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## Country Bumpkins (Feb 18, 2011)

The Bible says not to cast your pearls before the swine. You know who the swine is.


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## SAMkewel (Mar 5, 2011)

pocono.carol said:


> egkntter, one of the many reasons I suggested you document her behavior is because you mentioned in one of the threads that her supervisor does fulfill his obligations to lead.
> 
> One of my positions was replacing a supervisor that started out like her and her negative behavior escalated over a 5 year period to making physical threats on her subordinates. She was turned in into HR by a manager of another department when HE heard and saw the way she treated her subordinates (not my words his words to HR) and found out her direct supervisor never did anything. Both were fired.
> 
> ...


Once again, this is why people shouldn't laugh off, ignore, or reward the type of abuse this supervisor indulges in. I seriously doubt the supervisor is capable of appreciating anything, including the type of enabling "love" so many advocate. This person requires "tough love," not "smother love." Anything else serves to convince her that she is entitled to be abusive and no one can stop her. I'm not advocating cruelty in return, I'm advocating a firm stand that will teach her that her behavior is NOT acceptable.


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## Wheatie (Sep 19, 2011)

'Bless your heart" in not stpidity. Just minor troubles of some kind that you need a little sympathy for'


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## maryanneg (Mar 9, 2011)

Whatever you do, do not give her anything you have spent the time to knit. Anyone that rude would not appreciate a gift like that. I agree with Country Bumpkins about pearls before swine. She will eventually step on the wrong toes and get what she has coming. In the meantime, don't let her insensitive comments bother you. Enjoy your knitting - it helps to relieve the stress caused by people like her.


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## arleney1008 (Mar 25, 2011)

Clickers said:


> Keep the scarf, you will be the one turning up for work nice and warm.


Eventhough she is very rude unfortunately. She was not raised to use tact with her words. No matter what you say or do she would still act the way she did. Just quietly tell HER Supervisor how she treated you and let God deal with her. In other words put it in God's hands and basically let it go. I am truly sorry that you have to deal with someone so rude as she is. You are a talented lady that is blessed with a special gift!


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## psmithone (Jun 6, 2011)

How sad for her! You can only pray for people like that. It will make both of you better for it!


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## glnwhi (Jan 19, 2011)

sweetheart dont worry she is the one with a problem,give her the scarf the bible says if you be nice to those who despitefully use you it will heap coals of fire on their head.


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## pfoley (Nov 29, 2011)

This is still your supervisor and how it sounds to me is that although she is probably very annoying and immature she was trying to be funny ha ha more than she was trying to insult or hurt you. Unfortunately, what she said and how she said it was not funny at all; it went over like a bomb. She kind of made a fool or herself and knows it.
What she said hurt your feelings and offended you; nothing else happened. 
Who cares how she feels about knitting or people who knit.
I don't think it is a good idea to go over your boss's head and complain about her over this one incident. I know of a couple of people who did just that and lost their jobs, and if you have a job today, you are one of the lucky ones.


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## knitminnie (Jan 29, 2011)

I agree with all the above comments. This person really doesn't have a clue and I'll bet my best needle that she is rude to others about everything else, not just knitting. I like the suggestion to tell her "You really don't have a clue do you?" I also would talk with her supervisor about her rudeness. This does not make for a good working environment. Remember every supervisor has a supervisor. Just keep those needles clicking, and don't lower yourself to her level.


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## Kathie (Mar 29, 2011)

Once a person I knew asked me if I had a rocking chair to go with my knitting and I told them I traded it in for a Harley. :lol: 
Some people are trying to be funny and it just comes out mean. She isn't a nasty person, just sort of clueless.


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## jltrask (Feb 18, 2011)

I was always taught that if you have a problem with someone you should go to them first and try to work it out before going over their head. If I were her supervisor, I would ask if you had spoken up calmly and told her you were offended or hurt by what she said. If you do that and things get worse, definitely go to the supervisor and just say you want it on the record. Then if you hear her do the same to others counsel them to do the same. If enough people speak to her, she should get the message, and you'll look better than if you just complain to her supervisor right away over one small remark. It is very easy to look like you're nit picking when you report something like a remark and you can be the one who comes off looking like the problem - like you are too touchy. 
Just handle it with care, anyway, so you aren't the one let go.


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## Mystikerin (Jul 19, 2011)

Sorry you had to deal with that supervisor. It is unbelievable how people cannot appreciate people who can create from nothing, be it needlepoint, music, knitting, sewing, sculpting etc.
Just jealous and without skills, too bad you have to deal with such a personality. How did she manage to become a supervisor???


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## Karena (Jul 3, 2011)

Clever. 
Thanks. 
Karen


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## Thulha (Nov 10, 2011)

Rude yes!! I bet she doesn't have as many friends as you do! 19 pages!!!


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## mavisb (Apr 18, 2011)

Dear epalmer my work colleagues are better than your supervisor. My specialist doctor, had twins six months ago and I made her a blue and pink baby blanket, two pairs of booties and bought from the Hospitals Op shop to hand knitted teddies. She was absolutely delighted. My other colleagues all think its great that I knit the way I do and compliment me on my handcraft.

I think you should report your supervisor, albeit she is younger because this is a form of bullying and should not be tolerated in a workplace and she could get in serious trouble. She is a bully so stand up to her don't let her get away with it.


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## MacRae (Dec 3, 2011)

Make something absolutely spectacular and give it to one of your office mates. Then just sit back and smile.


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## Ciyona (Jan 17, 2011)

While reading the post I recieved a surprise from my daughter today, she actually said she is almost ready to pick up crocheting. I told her anytime she was ready I would help her learn and even offered to teach her knitting as well. Only time will tell when she is ready. And really wants to learn I will teach. In the meantime I will continue you do what I am doing and having fun. Oh also I told her I had plenty of yarn, hooks and needles when she is ready.


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## kitkatgreenfish (Feb 21, 2011)

WOW!Rude is hardly the word.Ignorant,unprofessional, just staight out bullying!!!The weak ones always go that route...Huggs Kitty


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## kitkatgreenfish (Feb 21, 2011)

Not used to posting twice but..You should give her the scarf in front of everybody,as long as she does her wonderful impression again? Huggs.Kitty


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## EZ2 (Aug 11, 2011)

I would give her the scarf anyway. Act and not react that is what I say. Besides it should shame her to receive such a nice gift after being such an ass.


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## SAMkewel (Mar 5, 2011)

EZ2 said:


> I would give her the scarf anyway. Act and not react that is what I say. Besides it should shame her to receive such a nice gift after being such an ass.


What leads you to believe that this woman has any shame? My 40 years combined time in four different workplaces gave me a great deal of experience that taught me these kinds of people have no shame. Something in their experience warped them into becoming bullies and I refuse to be their victim regardless of what it was that caused them to choose to be that way. They don't think or feel the way you or I might, they simply accept kindnesses as reinforcement for their behaviors and believe they got away with it once again. Certainly, we need to be cautious to protect ourselves, but we do not need to pretend that we're so dense we don't realize we've just been stomped on.


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## meran (May 29, 2011)

Next time she comes out with a derogatory remark just look at her, pause for a moment then ask "Do you feel better now?"


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## need2know (Jan 22, 2011)

wear one of your beautiful creations and let her be envious
:thumbup:


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## Arbutus (Nov 29, 2011)

Shame on her! 
When I knit I am dedicating everthing I do to my Grandma's memory, she wanted to teach me to knit and I didn't want to, then when she passed away, I realized what I had lost. My knitting is a way of making it up to her and showing her what I can do. (learned through night classes!) 
One day that supervisor might BE a granny, and she won't have a wonderful talent like knitting to redeem her, she can warm herself with memories of nastiness and making people unhappy.


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## bonbarnie (Jan 23, 2011)

hi: we locals in south jersey are referred to as "pineys". who would have thunk that silly names are accross the country. have a blessed holiday and let the little things go over our heads. laugh time is short


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## victa (Oct 7, 2011)

egkntter said:


> I happen to mention about my sweater project in conversation at work, and my supervisor who is younger than me, started making fun of people who knit, asking if I sit in a rocking chair she then started rocking back and forth on her heels imitating someone knittinf mimicking and old woman from the south saying "back in the days when I was a youngin..." I could have slapped her sensless but she is my supervisor who is younger than me! I hate people like that.. and I was knitting a scarf i was going to give her well Guess what, Coal for her stocking


 there's an old saying: feel sorry for those who don't understand. think about it for a minute. and anyhow, it's not worth your wasting energy being angry over. if you give her the scarf it will make her feel sorry for what she said!! and you've still done the right thing


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## Mamajan (Nov 29, 2011)

In Cornwall "foreighners "are emmits or Grockels in other parts.I was married to Cornish man and was named by the villagers as only 'alf Emmit


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## EZ2 (Aug 11, 2011)

WOW! SERIOUSLY?


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## EZ2 (Aug 11, 2011)

SAMkewel said:


> EZ2 said:
> 
> 
> > I would give her the scarf anyway. Act and not react that is what I say. Besides it should shame her to receive such a nice gift after being such an ass.
> ...


WOW! SERIOUSLY?


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## Mamajan (Nov 29, 2011)

Do you know? I think nothing would shut her up faster than giving her the darn scarf.Think of the shock she would have >Well she would if she is half human


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## bizzyknitter (May 10, 2011)

EZ2 said:


> I would give her the scarf anyway. Act and not react that is what I say. Besides it should shame her to receive such a nice gift after being such an ass.


I don't think you can shame this person. No one has the right to ridicule anyone. People have feelings and you don't go around hurting people. I always say.."If you don't have anything nice to say than don't say it at all."


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## ashblondie (Dec 18, 2011)

Just love that! Wish I was that quick on the comebacks.


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## Country Bumpkins (Feb 18, 2011)

SAMkewel said:


> EZ2 said:
> 
> 
> > I would give her the scarf anyway. Act and not react that is what I say. Besides it should shame her to receive such a nice gift after being such an ass.
> ...


Amen, amen and amen!!!


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## pegperson (Jul 20, 2011)

Wearing your items to work is one way but being able to tell her that you knitted it will be another bonus in your favor. I had a couple of supervisors like that and one was a man! He wasn't liked very well w/in the company and I knew way before he got sacked that he would never survive. These folks will get the comeuppance one of these days and it should be interesting!


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## NJgardengal (Feb 23, 2011)

I think her comment was totally inappropriate on the level of supervision and also public conversation.

My response would be to wear my most wonderful creations to work, and say nothing. 

I think when people who know little or nothing are educated gently, they learn.


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## LindaH (Feb 1, 2011)

I have to agree with all of the others. That was totally uncalled for, especially by someone like a supervisor! Yes, she was rude, but she also stepped WAY over a boundary line. Me? I would report her so fast it would make her head spin. Especially if she has said things in a similar vein before about your work or what you do as a hobby. Just in case no one has put the Grumpy Lump of Coal link here yet, I thought I would include it for you:

http://www.knitpicks.com/cfpatterns/pattern_display.cfm?ID=50822220

If my grandmother was still alive, she would tell me to knit that scarf anyway, and be sure to give it to her in front of all of the people she said the comment above to. She would tell me to then tell her that you know she doesn't like knitted garments, but you thought she might get some use out of this garment from an old woman. Sounds spiteful, I know, but it will hit home. However, I don't know that I would say that unless I reported it first. I tend to cram my foot in my mouth very easily, so you may not want to listen to me at all.. LOL..


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## Bumble (Sep 7, 2011)

Bah humbug! She doesn't know what she is missing out on.


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## Maria Mimgoia (Dec 18, 2011)

Completely agree. The best way to deal with someone who is rude is to smile and don't let it bother you. Unfortunately some people are not taught manners, it's a bigger problem and reality than years past. The world is becoming all about instant gratification and not about patience and hard work, which is what knitting is all about. It might take this person time to see your side but I wouldn't spend time worrying about someone's else's views and opinion. Just enough your hobby, that is why it's yours. And all this from a 28 year old who has been knitting since the age of 7. And just started crocheting.


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## gina (Jan 18, 2011)

Auntie Del, 

I very much disagree with you. Rewarding bad behavior is wrong, whether dealing with children, pets or unpleasant supervisors.

The OP handled it in the best way under the circumstances. She has to work under her, so not reacting was best. You are assuming that rude woman has a sense of humor that goes both ways. If the OP had reacted your way, the woman would have felt free to call her Granny, or make fun of her in some lasting way, ever after.


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## Wilma43 (Jun 7, 2011)

Think of all the people who admire your work and dwell on the joy you get from their comments and forget the rest. I'm sure the goods outnumber the bads 100 to 1!


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## BGL (Feb 16, 2011)

I had to go back to your first entry, to realize that you weren't knitting at work, only talking about it. How can anyone criticize the product they haven't seen? Maybe from now on only mention hobbies at breaks or lunchtime, so there is no reason for a supervisor to single you out for any sort of disruption in the workplace, then see how it goes. But I don't know that I could give her the gift that I had knitted, knowing her attitude about it. You likely will give it to her, you are a far better person than I am, and I commend you for that!


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## egkntter (Sep 28, 2011)

you know I have been going back and forth reading these responces not realizing i may have stirred up a hornets nest, but some of those replies were hysterical.
I probably wont give it to her, because she doesnt really deserve it . There are days when I like her and days when I want to scream at her but I dont and would never get physically violent, I waxs just kind of hurt but though, "oh well guess I will have to find a person who would appreciate it, " Im not gloaming over it, or emotionaly stressed, I'll just give it to someone else..


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## BTRFLY (Mar 2, 2011)

Some people are just plain rude and hurtful! Chalk it up to her loss. Maybe if she had been nice you would have taught her to knit. I don't know where that stigma about knitters came from. People don't say awful things about someone who sews, paints or draws, or any other hobby. Take care and have yourself a wonderful holiday!


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## 4578 (Feb 2, 2011)

only give the scarf to her if and when you have resolved your upset feelings. no need to give and regret and does it have to be given as a Christmas gift?


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## shaney63 (Nov 30, 2011)

I have a dear friend who has not commented on my knitting obsession but when asked what hand knits she might wear couldn't think of anything. Well, I made her a quick knit chunky yarn scarflet of baby alpaca. Tonight when I saw her I asked her if she'd try something on for me... lemme tell ya she about jumped up and down when she saw it, told me how darling and yadda yadda... I told her Merry Christmas, and she was just thrilled.

Perhaps you could offer the scarf with a hey try this on, see if you like it... if she likes it you can say Merry Christmas. If she turns up her nose I know a gal here in Wichita, KS who'd be thrilled to get it (ME! lol)


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## Lady of the Lake (Nov 10, 2011)

egknitter, I had a music teacher friend who used to say, "You don't have to blow out someone else's candle to make yours burn brighter!" And I've always loved that! She also said, "Never fight with a pig. The pig loves it and you get dirty." She was and still is a terrific person and great music teacher!


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## gotridge (Aug 3, 2011)

Rude. All I can say is "You can't fix stupid".


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## knittingpagan (Aug 15, 2011)

could she feel insecure about your position at work. have you been there longer then her? i've seen young people in supervisory positions over older people and seen both sides have issues with the age differences. It could just be that but it could be what ewveryone has said she sounds like a spoiled little brat who will not learn from subtlty so don't waste your time with her. do your job and remember that you do not have to be friends with her.


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## Wilma43 (Jun 7, 2011)

shaney63 said:


> I have a dear friend who has not commented on my knitting obsession but when asked what hand knits she might wear couldn't think of anything. Well, I made her a quick knit chunky yarn scarflet of baby alpaca. Tonight when I saw her I asked her if she'd try something on for me... lemme tell ya she about jumped up and down when she saw it, told me how darling and yadda yadda... I told her Merry Christmas, and she was just thrilled.
> 
> Perhaps you could offer the scarf with a hey try this on, see if you like it... if she likes it you can say Merry Christmas. If she turns up her nose I know a gal here in Wichita, KS who'd be thrilled to get it (ME! lol)


What a clever way to deal with this situation without causing any hurt feelings.


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## bwillow (Jan 28, 2011)

I didnt hear how she said the comments, but perhaps she was just trying to fit in? If it were me, one- I dont mind having a younger boss, I can learn from anyone at any age. two- she might not have had anyone in her life that knitted, so she never learned to respect the skill. three- I would have laughed right along with the lot of them as if I had no sense,,,, it's best to laugh with them than it is to sit quiet. You've got to remember that while young ones are growing up,, the cartoons they see do depict knitters as older folks.
Good luck turning the other cheek and may God Bless.
Hugs,
Darleen M.


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## SAMkewel (Mar 5, 2011)

The Christian bible says to love others as yourself, not INSTEAD of.....


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## LindY G (Dec 2, 2011)

I volunteer to take it off your hands, would love it.


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## Sharon T (Dec 21, 2011)

What a shame! No manners and no class! I wonder what she is capable of making with her own 2 hands. I feel bad you were spoken to that way. Good thing I wasn't present - she'd get a mouthful from me!


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## victa (Oct 7, 2011)

SAMkewel said:


> The Christian bible says to love others as yourself, not INSTEAD of.....


loving others as yourself means treating other people as you would like to be treated. it also says: 'see that no-one renders evil for evil, but always pursue what is good both for yourselves and for all'. in other words, don't do nasty things to people who are nasty to you, hard as that can be sometimes. it doesn't say other people have the right to treat anyone like dirt, but it does say that God will repay, so we don't have to


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## SAMkewel (Mar 5, 2011)

victa said:


> SAMkewel said:
> 
> 
> > The Christian bible says to love others as yourself, not INSTEAD of.....
> ...


I don't advocate advocate doing nasty things to anyone, I advocate holding others accountable for their actions and not enabling them to continue in thoughtless behaviors as if they are entitled to live their lives accountable to no one, not even themselves. God helps those who help themselves. He expects us to use our talents wisely. One can find scripture in the Christian bible to back up almost anything, so we must do our best to look at the big picture and use good judgement about what is right for ourselves AND others, and what is truly loving, not that which perpetuates rude, self-centered behavior because someone is having difficulty with life. We all have our crosses to bear. Does that entitle us to be unkind because we feel like it at the moment, to always take and never give, to fail to acknowledge everyone else's journey?


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## Dsynr (Jun 3, 2011)

jjane139 said:


> I'd say, go for the most magnanimous action. This foolish young woman is sowing the seeds of her own destruction. Never having learned that the means are part of the end, people like her rarely get as far in life as they want to and assume they will. I agree with another contributor here, that she is insecure and needs to make fun of others in order to build herself up. We wiser heads know that this never works! I hope that you will give her the scarf in spite of everything, with a tag that says Merry Christmas. I hope also that you will not concern yourself with what she does with your gift. My mother brought us up with the wisdom, "Other people's sins (faults, shortcomings) do not excuse your own." You be as generous as you know how to be, pray that soon or late her heart will be touched, and keep those knitting needles going.


 I'm wit' U, JJ! What a banana-brain that supervisor is!
When I was little, Grannie used to tell me, "Two wrongs do not a right make!" I didn't understand it at the time but I know now what she meant. Retaliation of any kind diminishes U to the other persons's level, which IMHO is pretty low. Do what U want about the scarf, and keep your own counsel about the rest. Let it go and let God sort it out. He'll do what's right.


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## Country Bumpkins (Feb 18, 2011)

egkntter said:


> I happen to mention about my sweater project in conversation at work, and my supervisor who is younger than me, started making fun of people who knit, asking if I sit in a rocking chair she then started rocking back and forth on her heels imitating someone knittinf mimicking and old woman from the south saying "back in the days when I was a youngin..." I could have slapped her sensless but she is my supervisor who is younger than me! I hate people like that.. and I was knitting a scarf i was going to give her well Guess what, Coal for her stocking


What was your decision about the scarf? We would like to know how it worked out with your supervisor?


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## Laniw1 (Oct 30, 2011)

Yes, now that Christmas is past, I'm also curious to know what you decided to do. I picked up this thread kind of late, else I would have pitched in earlier with the comment that --in general-- subordinates aren't supposed to give presents to their bosses. Think of workplace gift giving as following the current - it flows downstream (to subordinates) or splashes against the banks (to coworkers) but it doesn't flow upstream. So, you could not give her anything, let alone a precious hand-made gift, still be sitting on high ground. (Guess I've carried that metaphor far enough!) Bottom line, a card would be enough for even the best boss, and MORE than enough for this one.


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## dachsieangelgirl (Jun 25, 2011)

Unfortunately, negative things about aging are just part of our warped society. Knitting is creative, meditative, social and downright WONDERFUL! She sounds like she is not a very happy person and for that you should feel sorry for her. I have just been knitting for 6 months and it is the best thing I have ever done. Working on my first sweater and it is a total joy to be creating something with my hands that I can actually wear!! Happy New Year!


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## TracyMar (Apr 10, 2011)

She is rude and a bad boss. Perhaps you should buy her a "Stitch & Bitch" book for her. I am 4 and have just as many younger friends as older who knit.


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## sheardlite (Dec 28, 2011)

You know, in the end it's her loss. Just smile and continue on your merry way, she'll never understand.


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## Northernrobin (Dec 12, 2011)

egkntter said:


> I happen to mention about my sweater project in conversation at work, and my supervisor who is younger than me, started making fun of people who knit, asking if I sit in a rocking chair she then started rocking back and forth on her heels imitating someone knittinf mimicking and old woman from the south saying "back in the days when I was a youngin..." I could have slapped her sensless but she is my supervisor who is younger than me! I hate people like that.. and I was knitting a scarf i was going to give her well Guess what, Coal for her stocking


I have yet to run into people insulting me about knitting..going along with the philosophy of not taking things personally..I am wondering how a person who does this has a job as a supervisor..and what kind of issues she has to do this to her underlings..you could , in a calm way point out to her that she had just insulted you, a knitter...if this does not give her pause..lots of times this is all it takes for people to "wake up", then she is a hopeless case..but..do not take it personally..its her not your problem..as long as you do not take it personally..the insults will roll right off your back. And once you are no longer reacting..you can see just how much she is portraying about herself and the way her mind works by her words...she is to be pitied..


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## renee greenberg (Jun 23, 2011)

Hi- I wouldn't write that on the card. Supervisors are power-hungry nutjobs. Very few have all their mental screws inside. Most are missing a few. Most just talk and don't think when they open their mouth. Most are nasty Bitches . Very few are fair, nice, human. I wouldn't have given her anything for a present, if avaoidable. If you can't, then just give her something very cheap from the local drugstore. -under $10. If she comments, say this is all I can afford, implying that you need a raise! Sorry if this is Late in the reply. I don't have anything nice to say about supervisros. As an employee, we just have to keep quiet, endure, and think- WHEN IS PAYDAY!!! 
I endured one job for almost 25 years and hated every day. I used to count the days between vacation. Then I had to retire and got another job with 8 different supervisors, 7 who were nuts. One we called "Doris the Nazi" because she played mind games at the staff training days on Fridays and was originally from Berlin. That program went bankrupt and Doris went back to Berlin. Then I got another job and the supervisor sent viscious, nasty emails . I got terminated from that one recently and I'm collecting unemployment. My doctor says unemployment is good for me because my cardiogram is good, blood pressure is good, resting more, and knitting more! Had "bundles" in my cardiogram and he had wanted me to go to a cardiolologist. But they disappeared now! 
Just keep knitting and don't answer her. Think to yourself -that her pals in the Bellvue Hospital Psycho ward are waiting for her. That will make you have a chuckle.


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## Judy in oz (Jun 19, 2011)

Wonderful comment Renee!!!!!!! Judy


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## renee greenberg (Jun 23, 2011)

Hi- Thank you.


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