# Want to know



## Sally15 (Dec 24, 2013)

I have been enjoying Knitting Paradise, think it is just wonderful.
I have noticed one thing everything that is posted with a picture of what they have made is always great. Does anybody ever tell them what they really think when something is really pretty bad? I am not trying to be mean. It is just everybodys stuff is not wonderful. just what to know.


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## martina (Jun 24, 2012)

I think that we all have enough manners to keep quiet if we don't like something unless the poster asks for advice as she/ he is dissatisfied themselves and asks for opinions to change it.


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## tielma (Nov 20, 2011)

I agree with Martina.


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## kyterp (Mar 3, 2011)

I have yet to see anything that is bad. To try, is beauty in it's self.


SallyJessie said:


> I have been enjoying Knitting Paradise, think it is just wonderful.
> I have noticed one thing everything that is posted with a picture of what they have made is always great. Does anybody ever tell them what they really think when something is really pretty bad? I am not trying to be mean. It is just everybodys stuff is not wonderful. just what to know.


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## gramadolly (Apr 26, 2012)

I agree with Martina 100%


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## nevadalynn (Apr 27, 2011)

I think everyone's taste is different and even if I am not big on something, I can certainly appreciate the work that went into it. I congratulate anyone who will post - especially if they are a newer knitter and the work may not be perfect.


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## kayrein (Aug 24, 2011)

If someone posts a photo of something that I don't think is made very well, I just keep quiet and don't comment. I think this is the better alternative to "false" praise or criticism. Unless of course someone flat-out says, "what do you think of this?" Usually my comment to something like that is, "Only you know what you can live with."


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## nitnana (Feb 3, 2013)

I have noticed some comments are kept very simple if the finished product is not really terrific- like, "Nice color," or "Shawls are so pretty!" or "Your grandson will love this," rather than a comment about the beautiful job of knitting!Most people are kind - and we don't all have the expertise of some! But we are trying!! Keep sending in your pics! :thumbup:


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## Linda6885 (Feb 13, 2011)

I don't think I have ever seen anything truely bad. But ssomething I don't like, I don't comment. If they are asking for advice, I advise. No one wants to damage someone's creativity. We aren't all terrific at the beginning.


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## Knitophile (Oct 22, 2012)

SallyJessie said:


> I have been enjoying Knitting Paradise, think it is just wonderful.
> I have noticed one thing everything that is posted with a picture of what they have made is always great. Does anybody ever tell them what they really think when something is really pretty bad? I am not trying to be mean. It is just everybodys stuff is not wonderful. just what to know.


As in face-to-face contact, I believe it is best to weigh on the side of diplomacy. (If you are ever on the other side being attacked or insulted as to your skill or knowledge, best to UNWATCH the post and forget about it.)


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## Normaedern (Jul 9, 2013)

martina said:


> I think that we all have enough manners to keep quiet if we don't like something unless the poster asks for advice as she/ he is dissatisfied themselves and asks for opinions to change it.


I agree. If I know that someone has done their best I will congratulate them. I do think they deserve it!


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## knitnanny (Feb 28, 2012)

I don't make any comment if the item is not in my style as I like to be honest. Everyone has different tastes so it would be rude to be judgemental...


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## jumbleburt (Mar 10, 2011)

If the person has mentioned that this is their first pair of socks or whatever I try to be encouraging, but if I think it's not done well or is just not my taste, I leave without saying anything. When I see people being fake about wonderful something is when it obviously is not, it makes me wonder about their sincerity and whether their compliments mean anything at all.


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## goodweh (Dec 4, 2011)

I was always taught beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and if you have nothing nice to say , then don't say anything at all! 
I look at it that not everyone has the same skill level, and a lot of time and effort went into each and every project shown on here... and last time I looked I was not perfect so I enjoy seeing all of everyone's beautiful projects, some I like better than others and if one stands out to me I certainly take the time to leave a nice comment.


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## countryknitwit (Nov 13, 2011)

I also just don't comment. If something does not appeal to me, I assume it is just me and appreciate the time and effort that went into making it. Also, I always consider that people post from all over the world and there are different cultures--for example, the baby outfits from the UK are gorgeous and appear to have more lace/rosebuds, etc. than I see in the US--what is appropriate in one area of the world (brighter colors, etc) may seem different to others. It certainly does not detract from its beauty.


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## MzKnitCro (May 29, 2012)

If someone asks for an honest opinion or says they will take any criticism, then I will respond. Other than that, I don't say anything, because like others have said, each person has their own tastes/styles they like.


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## carrad47 (Nov 29, 2012)

My Mom taught me if you can't say something nice don't say anything, so that is the policy I use when looking at the photos on this site. I usually admire the craftsmanship on the things people post, sometimes I have issues with the color schemes, then I just don't comment.


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## Pocahontas (Apr 15, 2011)

SallyJessie said:


> I have been enjoying Knitting Paradise, think it is just wonderful.
> I have noticed one thing everything that is posted with a picture of what they have made is always great. Does anybody ever tell them what they really think when something is really pretty bad? I am not trying to be mean. It is just everybodys stuff is not wonderful. just what to know.


"Everybody's stuff" is wonderful in its own way. It takes a lot of guts for some people to post a photo of their work at all. I think most everyone who has responded to this thread has been positive and encouraging and has said all the right things in all honesty. The LAST thing I would want to do is hurt someone's feelings. We all have to start somewhere - usually at the beginning - and make progress from there. Giving encouragement to someone (or not) can make or break their day.


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## Pocahontas (Apr 15, 2011)

Oopsie - double post.


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## Quilter Pam (Mar 4, 2012)

I agree. I just pass if it's not something I like or sometimes I just love the color and can see it is well made, so I can honestly say I love the color and good job! On your own posts, you can see how many people view your post and how many comment. There are always WAY more views than comments so maybe some of those people didn't care for what I made.


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## Chrissy (May 3, 2011)

carrad47 said:


> My Mom taught me if you can't say something nice don't say anything, so that is the policy I use when looking at the photos on this site. I usually admire the craftsmanship on the things people post, sometimes I have issues with the color schemes, then I just don't comment.


My Mum taught me the very same, and usually one can find something positive to comment on. If not, on to the next item.


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## Dsynr (Jun 3, 2011)

goodweh said:


> I was always taught beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and if you have nothing nice to say , then don't say anything at all!
> I look at it that not everyone has the same skill level, and a lot of time and effort went into each and every project shown on here... and last time I looked I was not perfect so I enjoy seeing all of everyone's beautiful projects, some I like better than others and if one stands out to me I certainly take the time to leave a nice comment.


 My Grannie always said that we should "Do as we would be did by!"
I think she was right!


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## CaroleD53 (Aug 7, 2012)

If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing. We all have different tastes in colours, styles, yarn and what to knit.
Also, we would not have time to comment on every single photo posted. I comment when I like an article or colour or yarn but I am sure I miss lots of pics worthy of praise. I don't have time to comment on anything which doesn't really catch my eye, I am afraid.


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## Clancy P (Feb 26, 2014)

And also, not everyone can afford the very best at an upscale yarn shop. I applaud the effort sometimes, more than the result.


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## desireeross (Jun 2, 2013)

Quilter Pam said:


> I agree. I just pass if it's not something I like or sometimes I just love the color and can see it is well made, so I can honestly say I love the color and good job! On your own posts, you can see how many people view your post and how many comment. There are always WAY more views than comments so maybe some of those people didn't care for what I made.


Can you please point me to where one sees how many have seen a post? Many thanks


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## JTM (Nov 18, 2012)

SallyJessie said:


> I have been enjoying Knitting Paradise, think it is just wonderful.
> I have noticed one thing everything that is posted with a picture of what they have made is always great. Does anybody ever tell them what they really think when something is really pretty bad? I am not trying to be mean. It is just everybodys stuff is not wonderful. just what to know.


If I see a picture of something I do not think is great...or dislike completely... I simply do nothing. I would not think of saying ... "gee, I think your thing stinks" or anything even hinting of disliking something someone spent many hours working on... 
If there is a question such as "how can I fix this mess" .. then I will try to give good advise... note I said try...I sometimes miss the mark too. None of us is perfect... 
Jane


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## run4fittness (May 22, 2011)

I have yet to see anything that is bad. We all have our likes and dislikes and I figure if folks really don't like something they will be like me and just not say anything at all!


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## ceejay42 (Nov 18, 2013)

carrad47 said:


> My Mom taught me if you can't say something nice don't say anything, so that is the policy I use when looking at the photos on this site. I usually admire the craftsmanship on the things people post, sometimes I have issues with the color schemes, then I just don't comment.


That. And following that logic, the conclusion lies in the quantity. I figure that if something I post gets only a few nice comments, it's probably not as nice as something that gets 20 nice comments. :lol: 
It's all good though, posting them here is just for "bragging" anyway, it's the opinion of whoever is going to USE the knitted piece that really matters!


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## Pocahontas (Apr 15, 2011)

ceejay42 said:


> That. And following that logic, the conclusion lies in the quantity. I figure that if something I post gets only a few nice comments, it's probably not as nice as something that gets 20 nice comments. :lol:
> It's all good though, posting them here is just for "bragging" anyway, it's the opinion of whoever is going to USE the knitted piece that really matters!


I would prefer to call it 'affirmation' rather than 'bragging'.


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## jersgran (Mar 19, 2012)

I call it sharing. I agree with goodweh. someone may not tell you it is their first project. It takes courage to post a picture. I would love to share my things. Maybe I would be bragging, but I am proud of what I do, and no one in my immediate vicinity cares about my projects. I know KPers do. I just can't get my camera and Windows8.1 to get along. Even if I don't like the finished product, I can admire the skill or time that went into it.


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## moke (Oct 8, 2011)

I have never seen anything awful on here. But if i am not all that into it, i do not say anything. My daughter has a totally different taste, she loves funky, and wild colors etc.. soo who am i to judge.


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## Jillyrich (Feb 11, 2013)

martina said:


> I think that we all have enough manners to keep quiet if we don't like something unless the poster asks for advice as she/ he is dissatisfied themselves and asks for opinions to change it.


Agreed!


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## Barn-dweller (Nov 12, 2013)

Thank Heavens we are all different and like different things. Life would be very boring if everyone liked the same items and colours. Where would we get all our different ideas and inspiration from if no-one posted pictures?


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## cbjlinda (May 25, 2011)

couldn't have said it better.


kyterp said:


> I have yet to see anything that is bad. To try, is beauty in it's self.


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## janeridal (Nov 15, 2013)

martina said:


> I think that we all have enough manners to keep quiet if we don't like something unless the poster asks for advice as she/ he is dissatisfied themselves and asks for opinions to change it.


Spot on!


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## grandmatimestwo (Mar 30, 2011)

goodweh said:


> I was always taught beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and if you have nothing nice to say , then don't say anything at all!
> I look at it that not everyone has the same skill level, and a lot of time and effort went into each and every project shown on here... and last time I looked I was not perfect so I enjoy seeing all of everyone's beautiful projects, some I like better than others and if one stands out to me I certainly take the time to leave a nice comment.


I agree completely!


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## paljoey46 (Nov 20, 2011)

If I see something that isn't particularly good, I try to comment on the color or the effort. Most of the time, I just keep quiet.


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## Angela c (Dec 12, 2013)

martina said:


> I think that we all have enough manners to keep quiet if we don't like something unless the poster asks for advice as she/ he is dissatisfied themselves and asks for opinions to change it.


Well said :thumbup:


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## inishowen (May 28, 2011)

It's a matter of taste. I don't like anything fussy, lots of ribbons etc., on baby things. However I appreciate the work that gone into it and just don't comment if I don't like it.


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## lynnlassiter (Jun 30, 2011)

I, too, agree with martina.


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## Hilary4 (Apr 26, 2012)

desireeross said:


> Can you please point me to where one sees how many have seen a post? Many thanks


If you look at a menu page such as Newest topics or Active Topics, towards the right side is the heading First Post. Under the poster's name a two numbers separated by a forward slash eg 7/63. The first number is the number of posts on the thread and the second number is the number of views.


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## jmai5421 (May 6, 2011)

goodweh said:


> I was always taught beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and if you have nothing nice to say , then don't say anything at all!
> I look at it that not everyone has the same skill level, and a lot of time and effort went into each and every project shown on here... and last time I looked I was not perfect so I enjoy seeing all of everyone's beautiful projects, some I like better than others and if one stands out to me I certainly take the time to leave a nice comment.


I agree!


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## Maywalk (Mar 31, 2012)

Good question and very good replies. 
I have been knitting for well over 70 years now that started with knitting socks for the WW2 troops on four needles. I will be 84 soon and unfortunately I cant hold the needles now nor a circular one but I can still knit with two but all small things only.
My knitting is not so neat now as I would like but as long as it helps someone when either passed on to my young neighbours for their babies or given to charity I am happy. 
I can say that I have seen some gorgeous work displayed on this website from members and I have also seen not so good BUT its the love and thought that has gone into that persons work that counts. 
Just imagine the troops during WW2 wearing socks that had been made by children. It did not worry them what they looked like because as long as it helped keep them warm they knew it had been made with much thought and love. 
Just keep sending the pictures in I love them all.


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## osagerev (Jun 18, 2011)

I don't believe that I have ever seen anything "really bad". I love looking at everyone's knitting. I was brought up with the adage: "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all."


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## desireeross (Jun 2, 2013)

Hilary4 said:


> If you look at a menu page such as Newest topics or Active Topics, towards the right side is the heading First Post. Under the poster's name a two numbers separated by a forward slash eg 7/63. The first number is the number of posts on the thread and the second number is the number of views.


Thank you Hilary


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## wjeanc (Nov 15, 2012)

knitnanny said:


> I don't make any comment if the item is not in my style as I like to be honest. Everyone has different tastes so it would be rude to be judgemental...


Well said. :thumbup:


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## 34652 (Sep 5, 2011)

I find the pictures and information about the projects inspiring! There are none I've seen I do not like! I do not comment on all I view because I do not have time to do so and I hope the view and no comment does not indicate I do not like the item!!!!! 

I learn so much from the questions asked too! I'd like to thank everyone for their pictures, questions and answers!


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## quiltdaze37 (Nov 16, 2013)

I always think---what If my negativity was the last thing to come out of my mouth?I strive every day to better myself.


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## disgo (Mar 2, 2013)

quiltdaze37 said:


> I always think---what If my negativity was the last thing to come out of my mouth?I strive every day to better myself.


 :thumbup: 


Knitophile said:


> As in face-to-face contact, I believe it is best to weigh on the side of diplomacy. (If you are ever on the other side being attacked or insulted as to your skill or knowledge, best to UNWATCH the post and forget about it.)


Music to my ears-- the blessed words of civility :thumbup:


martina said:


> I think that we all have enough manners to keep quiet if we don't like something unless the poster asks for advice as she/ he is dissatisfied themselves and asks for opinions to change it.


A truly kindred spirit :thumbup:



run4fittness said:


> I have yet to see anything that is bad. We all have our likes and dislikes and I figure if folks really don't like something they will be like me and just not say anything at all!


My sentiments exactly.



desireeross said:


> Thank you Hilary


Ditto


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## PugMom (Jan 11, 2013)

goodweh said:


> I was always taught beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and if you have nothing nice to say , then don't say anything at all!
> I look at it that not everyone has the same skill level, and a lot of time and effort went into each and every project shown on here... and last time I looked I was not perfect so I enjoy seeing all of everyone's beautiful projects, some I like better than others and if one stands out to me I certainly take the time to leave a nice comment.


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## bobctwn65 (Jul 27, 2012)

why would anyone want to intentionaly want to hurt another's feelings....if I see something I think is ugly. it may be beautiful to someone else..I just keep my big mouth shut..the work alone is to be admired...as a new knitter, I know some of my stuff is bad...but I don't want someone telling me that after trying for days to make something...I might even give up...be nice..always!


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## PugMom (Jan 11, 2013)

I forgot to say Right On--it is not everyone who has the courage to post their achievements so kudos to all who do


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## ChrisGV (Apr 5, 2013)

I am truly amazed at the skill of some of the KPers. Beyond me.....at this time. But I am happy with most of my things and I would never say unkind things about another persons work. We're all not at the same level.


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## inger32 (Nov 23, 2013)

Yes, there is always the option of withholding judgment. Other than that, if you really want to respond the response should be constructive. A music teacher e.g. will never tell the student that he sounds awful, but rather say that it was a good effort but could be better by doing so and so. Same here. You can't say "the color is awful" but you can say "In {whatever] color this would even be prettier" or something to that effect. If you HAVE to comment, constructive criticism!


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## Hilary4 (Apr 26, 2012)

I keep my comments positive, or non-existent if the project is not to my taste. 

Another reason why I would like to see threads labelled with a C or a K, as I'm not a big fan of crochet.

I would never make a disparaging comment in the open forum. I got my hand thoroughly slapped in a PM once when someone posted a lovely cardigan but with an ill-fitting button band. I PM'd her with a suggestion of how to improve it and was told in no uncertain terms that that was how the recipient wanted it!


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## Nancyn (Mar 23, 2013)

I am awed by the talent of the Knitters on KP. I have never posted a picture of any of my finished works. One, because I have not figured out how. I have been too lazy to look into it. Second, I am always uncomfortable showing off my work. I applaud any and all who put their work out there for the world to see. I promis to learn to post pictures this summer. Then I will see about posting my work. LOL! Keep on posting ad I do love seeing what everyone knits or crochets.


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## cathbeasle (Jun 8, 2012)

If only the sentiments that you have posted here today (which I totally agree with) were followed on all posts. Some of the members I have run across or not always kind.


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## Kathie (Mar 29, 2011)

Pocahontas said:


> I would prefer to call it 'affirmation' rather than 'bragging'.


My husband was a sign painter and when he finished one of his signs he would often sit and look at it for a little while. He called this "admiration time". I think of posting pictures that way. I get lots of good ideas from the pictures other people post. Keep them coming.


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## Serene Knitter (Aug 22, 2011)

I have been knitting for 55 years and I find that there is almost always SOMETHING kind to be said about any project. I have seen some projects that I thought were beautifully crafted but the choice of colors or yarns were horrid, and I have seen items were the knitting was purely amateurish but there color sense was amazingly lovely. And I have seen beginner items where the maker was so proud of themselves...and they should be, we were ALL beginners, once upon a time, so encourage beginners to keep going by praising their hard work along the way. 
If I honestly thought one was truly awful I would simple exit without making a comment. 
How would you feel if you put many hours into something and someone said to you, "OMG, what were you thinking!?!?" I would never want to be the one who breaks the heart of someone who has worked hard to create something.


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## Hilary4 (Apr 26, 2012)

cathbeasle said:


> If only the sentiments that you have posted here today (which I totally agree with) were followed on all posts. Some of the members I have run across or not always kind.


Ain't that the truth!!!


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## morningstar (Mar 24, 2012)

martina said:


> I think that we all have enough manners to keep quiet if we don't like something unless the poster asks for advice as she/ he is dissatisfied themselves and asks for opinions to change it.


I agree. Remember, "....beauty is in the eye of the beholder."


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## mperrone (Mar 14, 2013)

kyterp said:


> I have yet to see anything that is bad. To try, is beauty in it's self.


You said it perfectly -- I agree with you 200%!


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## PATRICIAKEITH (Jun 13, 2011)

SallyJessie said:


> I have been enjoying Knitting Paradise, think it is just wonderful.
> I have noticed one thing everything that is posted with a picture of what they have made is always great. Does anybody ever tell them what they really think when something is really pretty bad? I am not trying to be mean. It is just everybodys stuff is not wonderful. just what to know.


I agree that Beauty is in the mind of the beholder. If that Beauty is not in my eye, then I don't comment. If somebody is proud of what they have made and wish to share it with us, then that is great. Who are we to say that it is "pretty bad"? With love, Patricia x


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## CaroleD53 (Aug 7, 2012)

cathbeasle said:


> If only the sentiments that you have posted here today (which I totally agree with) were followed on all posts. Some of the members I have run across or not always kind.


Are the unkind comments not more directed at methods of knitting etc? Perhaps I haven't noticed, but I don't think I have spotted any unkind comments about the articles in the pictures.


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## azmoonbugs (Dec 2, 2011)

SallyJessie said:


> I have noticed one thing everything that is posted with a picture of what they have made is always great. Does anybody ever tell them what they really think when something is really pretty bad? I am not trying to be mean. It is just everybody's stuff is not wonderful. just what to know.


Not everything posted here is to my taste. I just follow the rule, if you can't say something nice, don't say anything.


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## indinana (Dec 13, 2013)

Maybe you would be happier some place else if criticizing and mean speaking are your goal.


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## NellieKnitter (Sep 10, 2012)

goodweh said:


> I was always taught beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and if you have nothing nice to say , then don't say anything at all!
> I look at it that not everyone has the same skill level, and a lot of time and effort went into each and every project shown on here... and last time I looked I was not perfect so I enjoy seeing all of everyone's beautiful projects, some I like better than others and if one stands out to me I certainly take the time to leave a nice comment.


I agree.


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## yooperdooper (Jan 3, 2013)

sometimes a persons first attempt might not look great but the effort and learning experience are great


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## PittyPat (Jul 2, 2011)

So many comments have been made about this post. I truly believe our members are kind and thoughtful in regards to their comments of other's work. Our world can be so critical. Why do it here? We encourage each other with our comments. We can promote our craft not personal agendas. I have not posted my knitting for 2 reasons. One I don't know how and 2 , the item is usually out the door to quick....But my goal this summer is to learn to post. 
I say...keep the positive going all you wonderful people and let's keep making someone's day happy, happy, happy. Hope you all have a glorious day. Pittypat


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## missyern (Jan 23, 2011)

I have noticed that so many post a picture and then say "I hope you like it." I have often wondered why they would want my approval.


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## past (Apr 3, 2011)

There are times where it's better to just view the post and back out without commenting. 
That being said I can't remember seeing anything that wasn't very nice. People's skill levels and abilities are all different. People's tastes are all different. 
I once had a person tell me that opinions are like belly buttons. Some are innies and some are outies. This was said to me after I was upset by what someone had said. The person then told me that outie personalities are more likely to speak up and because they speak up they might not always think first. Now when someone says something I don't agree with, or hurts my feeling, I just smile or brush it off remembering that opinions are like belly buttons, everyone has one.


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## gapeach31781 (Oct 16, 2013)

The tongue is a double edged sword. We aren't on here to hurt others, but to be encouraging. My Gmother always said if you can't say something nice, keep your mouth shut! I try to abide by that. I really enjoy seeing everyone's completed projects.


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## Shimal (Apr 21, 2013)

What is "bad" is in the eye of the beholder (as is beauty). There are trends and fads that some embrace and others don't - are the trends "bad" knitting? No, they just don't appeal to certain persons. I think that, if someone is having problems with a technique, then it would probably be okay to offer to show them a correct/better way of performing that technique, but its impolite to criticize someone's work just because it doesn't appeal to you. Personally, I love bright colors and will put "clashing" colors in an afghan because they make me happy. I've been in classes where the instructor says one should "never" do that. Different strokes. The question to ask is "Are you happy with it?" If the person likes it, then our opinion really doesn't matter.


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## Fran33 (Feb 15, 2012)

Well! I bought wool from Tuesday morning; thought it looked good ( variegated maroon,gray,black,etc.). Planned cap and scarf and did knit them. Probably ugliest set ever!! So, if I had ever posted pic the best anyone could say would have been " nice knitting"!!!


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## Fran33 (Feb 15, 2012)

Well! I bought wool from Tuesday morning; thought it looked good ( variegated maroon,gray,black,etc.). Planned cap and scarf and did knit them. Probably ugliest set ever!! So, if I had ever posted pic the best anyone could say would have been " nice knitting"!!!


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## Shimal (Apr 21, 2013)

However, someone else might think its lovely. And, for someone who doesn't have a hat and scarf, it might be wonderful!


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## Knitter from Nebraska (Jun 9, 2013)

Nah! If I don't like it, I just move on.


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## Melodypop (Jul 18, 2011)

If it enters my mind, I try to think how wonderful it is that they are learning something new and will only improve as time goes on. I know in my nearly 80 years that my fingers, brain, and heart have given some wonderful gifts. If when I first started out someone made a comment of how ugly my project was, I would probably given it up.


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## Ronie (Jan 21, 2011)

I agree with you.. I just don't post.. and I don't post my pictures... 
Here is why... just like I told my husband when we first got married... if you tell me its good (dinner) then I'll make it for you again and again... if you don't want to eat something that is not good then you had better tell me up front.
Same thing goes for my knitting... if it doesn't look right or is not done very well I would rather know then to send it off as a gift and continue with my shoddy knitting... sometimes honesty is best.. 
But in a forum like this someone will always like what you have done.. and being brutal is not good in a forum like this .. it starts 20 page wars...LOL


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## Munchn (Mar 3, 2013)

I agree with Martina 100% also.


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## evesch (Apr 3, 2011)

SallyJessie said:


> I have been enjoying Knitting Paradise, think it is just wonderful.
> I have noticed one thing everything that is posted with a picture of what they have made is always great. Does anybody ever tell them what they really think when something is really pretty bad? I am not trying to be mean. It is just everybodys stuff is not wonderful. just what to know.


I would never want to discourage a person. Everything is great for each person's skill level. Not everyone here is at the same level. Most people are way to hard on themselves all the time anyway so why should I add to their cruelty to themselves. 
You can usually tell when someone is asking for an honest critique of the work they have done, that is different. They usually know there is something "off" maybe they can't quite place it or they think it may pass well in the public arena but not in the craft community. There it is best not to give your opinion but an honest assessment of the work done ie. tension, stitch definition, missing pattern repeats or mistakes, etc. NOT stuff like"I don't like it cause it sags and is a puky color or other personal preference type comments. It is just basic courtesy that Momma taught "If you can't say something NICE, Don't say anything at all!" A social rule that is not in use enough in this age of social media. But I also have a commercial art school background where How to criticize or critique an artwork was Taught. there is a difference between criticizing and critiquing something. It would make our world a whole lot nicer if everyone was taught that.


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## JoRae (Feb 5, 2013)

Pocahontas said:


> I would prefer to call it 'affirmation' rather than 'bragging'.


I like affirmation :thumbup:


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## JoRae (Feb 5, 2013)

Barn-dweller said:


> Thank Heavens we are all different and like different things. Life would be very boring if everyone liked the same items and colours. Where would we get all our different ideas and inspiration from if no-one posted pictures?


 :thumbup:

So many positive comments. Great bunch of people.


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## Diane1945 (May 25, 2012)

And also, not everybody ia at the same level of knitting...silence is golden.


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## Diane1945 (May 25, 2012)

And also, not everybody ia at the same level of knitting...silence is golden.


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## Dawne27 (Sep 10, 2013)

Don't we all have at least one project we are ashamed to show? I have had a few and realize it was a bad decision. Recently there was one. We usually in our hearts know about our own work but these are learning events and sometimes kind words encourage us to keep going and making more items. What is more important than making the item? I just enjoy the knitting and knowing I can create something so words of encouragement keep this flame going.


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## OddBodkin (Nov 18, 2013)

Maywalk said:


> Good question and very good replies.
> I have been knitting for well over 70 years now that started with knitting socks for the WW2 troops on four needles. I will be 84 soon and unfortunately I cant hold the needles now nor a circular one but I can still knit with two but all small things only.
> My knitting is not so neat now as I would like but as long as it helps someone when either passed on to my young neighbours for their babies or given to charity I am happy.
> I can say that I have seen some gorgeous work displayed on this website from members and I have also seen not so good BUT its the love and thought that has gone into that persons work that counts.
> ...


I love this! I love every picture, too!

One of the many things I love about the pictures is seeing work from all corners of the world. The quality and scope of work is incredible at times. Such beautiful things are made through our hands. Sometimes there aren't enough words to express appreciation for the work that is shown here, even things I wouldn't make myself.

I think if I ever post a picture of something I've made, it would be for affirmation--to show those who truly know the work and and skill it took to make that item--and to hear from peers and betters, through their comments, that they understand that it was, in the end, worth it all.


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## KNITTEN NANA (Apr 2, 2011)

If you don't have nothing nice to say don't say anything at all. We all have different degrease of talent, who are we to judge ? Just go to the next picture its that simple.


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## gsbyrge (Jul 12, 2011)

It's all subjective, beauty is in the eye of the beholder and all that. One person may hate it, twenty think it is beautiful. I don't think there is anyone here who would be anything but tactful and kind in offering criticism.


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## Kansas g-ma (Mar 7, 2014)

If you want to keep seeing pictures, better be at least polite. Our quilt guild has people who never show their work because they are afraid of what the "stars" will say-- mostly the stars don't have time to be bothered with saying much and the rest of us just love seeing what others are doing!!


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## DawnsEarlyLight (Jan 28, 2011)

Mother always said "if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all."


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## Granny2005 (Feb 20, 2014)

Well SallieJessie. How would you feel if something you made got a neg comment? If you can't say something nice... Don't say anything at. All


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## MartiG (Jan 21, 2012)

As said below, it's probably some of the "if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all". I never understand what some people get out of making someone else feel badly. If the creator specifically asks an opinion though, then it is a different matter of being helpful.


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## Patty Sutter (Apr 17, 2012)

SallyJessie said:


> I have been enjoying Knitting Paradise, think it is just wonderful.
> I have noticed one thing everything that is posted with a picture of what they have made is always great. Does anybody ever tell them what they really think when something is really pretty bad? I am not trying to be mean. It is just everybodys stuff is not wonderful. just what to know.


If I have something that is pretty bad, I don't post it unless looking for advice. :-D


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## Crochet dreamin' (Apr 22, 2013)

I think after struggling through some of these patterns, I need positive affirmation, and am sure others do too. I LOVE looking at all the pictures. Some of them might not be my color/design choices, but all of the items have been knitted/crocheted with love, and have my complete respect and admiration. I try to send pictures, because I think besides knowing people will always say something constructive on this forum, that it is my way of contributing. If no one sent pictures, it could get a little boring. (IMHO)


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## beth60201 (Apr 7, 2011)

I made a comment once to a knitting friend, and truly regret what I said. It hurt her feelings and I should just have kept my trap shut. I could have said "lovely yarn" and left it at that. She was planning to sell the scarves she made on Etsy and I thought she should fix her mistakes instead of leaving them. I should have shut up.


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## janis blondel (May 20, 2011)

If I have nothing nice to say then I keep my opinions to myself. It's the way I was raised. Your opinion is not always the opinion of others and everyone sees things differently. I think it's nice that people want to share their work no matter what it looks like.


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## Clancy P (Feb 26, 2014)

missyern said:


> I have noticed that so many post a picture and then say "I hope you like it." I have often wondered why they would want my approval.


Affirmation, perhaps. They may not have anyone around that also knits/crochets to get positive strokes or encouragement. My Knitwit group do that for each other, and no one has ever gone beyond the person's back to make negative comments afterward.


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## Clancy P (Feb 26, 2014)

indinana said:


> Maybe you would be happier some place else if criticizing and mean speaking are your goal.


Maybe she lives on a winding road, too.


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## alidakyle (Dec 20, 2011)

martina said:


> I think that we all have enough manners to keep quiet if we don't like something unless the poster asks for advice as she/ he is dissatisfied themselves and asks for opinions to change it.


Indeed!


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## Storylady (Aug 6, 2013)

The eye of the beholder can be critical. But we all should remember what our early attempts were like. What may be imperfect to one eye may be the absolute best to someone else. We don't know if there are any limitations. We are here to support each other and not discourage. I see beautiful work that as a gift says "I care enough to have made this just for you."


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## Kansas g-ma (Mar 7, 2014)

I'll never forget the first knitting class I taught-- one gal had a huge hole in the sleeve of her sweater (I had advised against black yarn and suggested a smaller first project). When I suggested she take it back to fix the hole, she said, "It won't matter, I'm not ripping it." I then told her I didn't want her telling ANYONE that I had taught her to knit! Most of my students WANTED nice things-- this one just didn't care. They do walk among us.


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## joycevv (Oct 13, 2011)

Remember that old adage--"If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." I can't imagine being mean enough to say something negative when someone posts a picture of their work.


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## knovice knitter (Mar 6, 2012)

yikes! I am rethinking my future photo posts. Sometimes, people have commented on colors I've chosen. Was it because the work stinks? Now I don't know. I do know that when I first starting posting photos, those pats on the back felt great. Now I wonder about the sincerity. I'm going to go with it being sincere. At this point I will not quit knitting, but posting photos perhaps.

I also feel crappy because I don't compliment enough, knowing how much affirmation means to me. I don't always post comments because I forget to unwatch and I keep getting notices every time someone else posts on that thread. How lazy can I get? 

For those of you who feel others don't like your work, think about silent me. I love the stuff, always check out the pattern and go over to Ravelry to see how others interpreted the pattern. Meantime, I never said a word about how I loved your work. That's gonna' change.


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## martina (Jun 24, 2012)

knovice knitter said:


> yikes! I am rethinking my future photo posts. Sometimes, people have commented on colors I've chosen. Was it because the work stinks? Now I don't know. I do know that when I first starting posting photos, those pats on the back felt great. Now I wonder about the sincerity. I'm going to go with it being sincere. At this point I will not quit knitting, but posting photos perhaps.
> 
> I also feel crappy because I don't compliment enough, knowing how much affirmation means to me. I don't always post comments because I forget to unwatch and I keep getting notices every time someone else posts on that thread. How lazy can I get?
> 
> For those of you who feel others don't like your work, think about silent me. I love the stuff, always check out the pattern and go over to Ravelry to see how others interpreted the pattern. Meantime, I never said a word about how I loved your work. That's gonna' change.


Please don't stop posting pictures of your work. There is a limit to what people can say about any item pictured, some people genuinely don't know what to say exactly. Take a compliment as just that, and as long as you enjoy what you do/ sell/give or keep then that is what really matters.


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## JoRae (Feb 5, 2013)

:thumbup:


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## immunurse (May 2, 2011)

If you can't say something nice, don't say nuthin' at all.

Just b/c something isn't to my taste doesn't mean it isn't beautiful.


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## hasamod41 (Sep 1, 2011)

nevadalynn said:


> I think everyone's taste is different and even if I am not big on something, I can certainly appreciate the work that went into it. I congratulate anyone who will post - especially if they are a newer knitter and the work may not be perfect.


Ditto


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## rasputin (Apr 21, 2013)

kayrein said:


> If someone posts a photo of something that I don't think is made very well, I just keep quiet and don't comment. I think this is the better alternative to "false" praise or criticism. Unless of course someone flat-out says, "what do you think of this?" Usually my comment to something like that is, "Only you know what you can live with."


I agree with you. like my mom use to say "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all"....

:wink:


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## OddBodkin (Nov 18, 2013)

knovice knitter said:


> For those of you who feel others don't like your work, think about silent me. I love the stuff, always check out the pattern and go over to Ravelry to see how others interpreted the pattern. Meantime, I never said a word about how I loved your work. That's gonna' change.


This could be me, only I probably wouldn't have said it so well.

I often really love the work pictured but there are many, many posts that say that and I sometimes want to say how much I appreciate it in a different way so I'll say something like, "lovely yarn!" It doesn't mean the yarn is the only thing I love about it, it just means that I'm not sure how meaningful another, "Stunning piece!" will mean after it's been said so many times. I generally love everything I see!


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## eneira12 (Dec 18, 2013)

I know I posted a picture of something that I knew was heavily flawed and it was heartening to hear the positive feedback. I gave it to my grandson as a blanket picturing an ocean, and it has become a favorite toy for him and his sister. So you never know.


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## Linda6885 (Feb 13, 2011)

For what it is worth, I probably would have advised her to fix her mistakes too. It is one thing to choose to to fix a mistake if it is for yourself, but another if you are selling them. It is a poor business practice to sell what you know is not perfect. People may not buy from you again. And it is somewhat dishonest.



beth60201 said:


> I made a comment once to a knitting friend, and truly regret what I said. It hurt her feelings and I should just have kept my trap shut. I could have said "lovely yarn" and left it at that. She was planning to sell the scarves she made on Etsy and I thought she should fix her mistakes instead of leaving them. I should have shut up.


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## Knit crazy (Mar 13, 2013)

I try to let fellow knitters and crocheters know when their work is lovely or evidence of real effort. If something was not my choice of colors or yarn choice, I might not respond. I also find that when I don't get to KP first thing in the morning that I hesitate to add much if the responses are already on multiple pages. I usually agree with those telling someone how lovely the work is, but I think to myself, who needs 25 posts that say, "Beautiful"? But I do respond if I want to identify a pattern or yarn. That to me is a complement.


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## Damama (Oct 2, 2011)

martina said:


> I think that we all have enough manners to keep quiet if we don't like something unless the poster asks for advice as she/ he is dissatisfied themselves and asks for opinions to change it.


 :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## tigerlily (May 3, 2013)

i think the beauty is in the trying. we can't always start as an expert and we all need encouragement.


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## dunnville89 (Apr 24, 2012)

There is something for everyone. We all have different likes and dislikes. So the positive comments are genuine, because it is something the beholder likes. The rest of the group keeps quiet. I might add, that's why there are a million patterns and a wonderful array of yarns from which to choose. Keep knitting and loving it.


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## nhauf001 (Jan 18, 2011)

like mama said, if you can't say something nice don't say anything -- but mostly I don't look at the pictures -- it would make me jealous that people had time to make such beautiful items. I'm having trouble keeping up with the list of items I want to make, lol


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## Kansas g-ma (Mar 7, 2014)

Martina, what you just wrote is too true. I just don't take time to post anything. But will say that color is probably what catches my eye and what I might comment on. Doesn't mean I didn't like the item.


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## bettyirene (Apr 5, 2012)

Not everyone are "perfect" knitters (or crocheters), and if someone has taken the time to knit and post, then they are obviously a little proud of their work, so they should be encouraged, not criticized - remember practice makes perfect!!


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## Davena (Feb 24, 2013)

When I think back of my first projects I made when I began a craft, I was thrilled with the outcome. and myself...Not knowing any different I kept creating and taking on challenges, joining groups, and meeting with people with the same interest , and learning from any one or any place, and as the saying goes, Practise makes perfect....even though I do not consider myself perfect, I do know I have come along way..Without taking the first step and trying a craft, you will never have accomplishe anything...so yes I still think my first projects are my best...They intoduced me to many fullfilling hours of joy, meeting wonderfull people and filling a void in my life....Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.... So please, do not stop posting and any pictures of your work rather beginner or expert...All are beautiful.....Happy Crafting..Davena


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## blawler (Feb 20, 2012)

nevadalynn said:


> I think everyone's taste is different and even if I am not big on something, I can certainly appreciate the work that went into it. I congratulate anyone who will post - especially if they are a newer knitter and the work may not be perfect.


I agree.


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## grandmann (Feb 4, 2011)

For some of us it takes effort just to post a picture. Often times on the Swaps very little comments are being made. I feel someone makes something for someone I usually will comment.


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## Stephhy (May 14, 2012)

I don't comment if I don't care for something for some reason or other. But _sometimes_ I don't comment 'cause I missed the post.

Just sayin'


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## ramram0003 (Nov 7, 2011)

gramadolly said:


> I agree with Martina 100%


 :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## shshipp (Oct 9, 2011)

I actually posted a disaster in humor once. People were polite but honest. It really was funny


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## shshipp (Oct 9, 2011)

I actually posted a disaster in humor once. People were polite but honest. It really was funny


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## iShirl (Jun 30, 2012)

Some time ago, I posted a picture of a never-ending afghan I made. Someone said it was nice and she saw where "I went off." I didn't know what that meant but when it was hanging on my chair, I saw it and it WAS off, kinda cock-eyed. 

I really appreciated the comment as it was honest and factual. So now, I am more careful. I think I grew a bit in my knitting from it.


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## cherylthompson (Feb 18, 2013)

Linda6885 said:


> I don't think I have ever seen anything truely bad. But ssomething I don't like, I don't comment. If they are asking for advice, I advise. No one wants to damage someone's creativity. We aren't all terrific at the beginning.


 :thumbup:


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## GC_Bonnie (Jul 10, 2013)

I haven't even finished reading this thread and can't go any further without saying " all of these comments from so many I've come to admire, are exactly why I love this site."


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## aljellie (Mar 4, 2011)

We are all at different skill levels and stages of experience in our crafting. I think that to criticize something you think is not as well made as you would like is heartless. I for one admire the fact that we are willing to share our imperfect works with each other. There is probably not one KP member who is not striving to improve some aspect of his or her craft or to learn something new. Why on earth would anyone make a comment to disparage or discourage our fellow crafters? We are friends who share a common passion.
Ellie


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## GC_Bonnie (Jul 10, 2013)

Other peoples phrase gives most newbies courage to keep working towards a higher goal.


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## PATRICIAKEITH (Jun 13, 2011)

GC_Bonnie said:


> I haven't even finished reading this thread and can't go any further without saying " all of these comments from so many I've come to admire, are exactly why I love this site."


Here, here! I agree. x :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## wlk4fun647 (Apr 17, 2011)

I so agree with everyone... I often don't post my works because I don't think they are "good enough" to measure up to most of the items that are posted. I keep trying to improve thru other's comments and pictures.


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## Lovemygreys (Apr 4, 2011)

Everyones work is beautiful because they did it and tried. When I see some of the disabilities people on the site are knitting with I am amazed that they keep knitting and I think it is wonderful. My aunt always told me never give up your hobbies.


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## frani512 (Apr 15, 2012)

Everyone has different ideas and tastes. And some lean toward certain projects. So the old saying.If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing!


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## nitehawk (Feb 19, 2013)

Pocahontas said:


> "Everybody's stuff" is wonderful in its own way. It takes a lot of guts for some people to post a photo of their work at all. I think most everyone who has responded to this thread has been positive and encouraging and has said all the right things in all honesty. The LAST thing I would want to do is hurt someone's feelings. We all have to start somewhere - usually at the beginning - and make progress from there. Giving encouragement to someone (or not) can make or break their day.


 :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## Zinzin (Oct 17, 2012)

countryknitwit said:


> I also just don't comment. If something does not appeal to me, I assume it is just me and appreciate the time and effort that went into making it. Also, I always consider that people post from all over the world and there are different cultures--for example, the baby outfits from the UK are gorgeous and appear to have more lace/rosebuds, etc. than I see in the US--what is appropriate in one area of the world (brighter colors, etc) may seem different to others. It certainly does not detract from its beauty.


I am with you on this. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I have learnt if you do not have nothing nice to say do not say any thing at all.


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## gordon000 (Jul 17, 2011)

knovice knitter said:


> yikes! I am rethinking my future photo posts. Sometimes, people have commented on colors I've chosen. Was it because the work stinks? Now I don't know. I do know that when I first starting posting photos, those pats on the back felt great. Now I wonder about the sincerity. I'm going to go with it being sincere. At this point I will not quit knitting, but posting photos perhaps.
> 
> I also feel crappy because I don't compliment enough, knowing how much affirmation means to me. I don't always post comments because I forget to unwatch and I keep getting notices every time someone else posts on that thread. How lazy can I get?
> 
> For those of you who feel others don't like your work, think about silent me. I love the stuff, always check out the pattern and go over to Ravelry to see how others interpreted the pattern. Meantime, I never said a word about how I loved your work. That's gonna' change.


This brings me to the posts where some kp'ers are not interested in crochet and don't want to take the time to open a crocheted item picture "they want the poster to label crochet" to save them time?

How much time does it take to "OPEN" and "Close" it.

I've learned to label MY crochet!

:thumbup: I LOVE to see all crafty art and was so pleased to see the "Other Crafts" section appear, and all the submitters projects!!


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## Nussa (Jul 7, 2011)

I think quite a few of us post pictures of things that we know may not be our best work. But we usually know that already, or we wouldn't ask. Maybe a little constructive criticism is what they are looking for. 

I've always thought that if someone asks you what you think of something, and you aren't particularly fond of it, you can always think of something about it you do like, say, the color, or stitch, or style. There is always something pretty about every ones work. And beauty is in the eye of the beholder....


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## southernyankee (Jun 10, 2011)

There are many things posted on this site that I would never make, buy or wear. When I see something I like, I post, when it is something I don't (for whatever reason), I don't. I think it is truly amazing the scope of different tastes that are shown on this site. I have learned many things and have gotten so many tips and patterns that I would never have found otherwise.


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## chooksnpinkroses (Aug 23, 2012)

Nancyn said:


> ....I have never posted a picture of any of my finished works. One, because I have not figured out how. I have been too lazy to look into it.... I applaud any and all who put their work out there for the world to see. I promise to learn to post pictures this summer. Then I will see about posting my work.....


When you figure out how, can you tell me?

I once got my DD to post a photo on a free advertising site and watched her closely. Then later when I tried to repeat what she had done, it didn't work. I gave up trying, I'm not very computer savy. :| :| :|


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## southernyankee (Jun 10, 2011)

Maywalk said:


> Good question and very good replies.
> I have been knitting for well over 70 years now that started with knitting socks for the WW2 troops on four needles. I will be 84 soon and unfortunately I cant hold the needles now nor a circular one but I can still knit with two but all small things only.
> My knitting is not so neat now as I would like but as long as it helps someone when either passed on to my young neighbours for their babies or given to charity I am happy.
> I can say that I have seen some gorgeous work displayed on this website from members and I have also seen not so good BUT its the love and thought that has gone into that persons work that counts.
> ...


What a lovely post and what a wonderful person you must be!!!!


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## chooksnpinkroses (Aug 23, 2012)

Fran33 said:


> Well! I bought wool from Tuesday morning; thought it looked good ( variegated maroon,gray,black,etc.). Planned cap and scarf and did knit them. Probably ugliest set ever!! So, if I had ever posted pic the best anyone could say would have been " nice knitting"!!!


There are probably those who would like how the colours came out!!

You never can tell how variegated or self striping yarn will knit up, it can look lovely in the ball and once knitted, you think 'Oh, I didn't expect THAT.' :lol: :lol: :lol:


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## chooksnpinkroses (Aug 23, 2012)

knovice knitter said:


> For those of you who feel others don't like your work, think about silent me. I love the stuff, always check out the pattern and go over to Ravelry to see how others interpreted the pattern. Meantime, I never said a word about how I loved your work......


I often do the same, just too lazy to comment, even if I do like something. I have started posting comments, but sometimes when there are several pages of comments, I just look and leave.....


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## Lovinknittin (Apr 2, 2011)

When commenting on somebody's work, it is important to be kind. It is very easy to turn people away from doing the craft by criticizing it unless they ask. That would be a very sad thing to happen. Most of us need to do it and love doing our craft.


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## wlk4fun647 (Apr 17, 2011)

I sure do agree with you, southernyankee, that Maywalk sounds like a wonderful woman!
And, Fran33... I often purchase verigted yarns, never knowing
how they will turn out. Most of the time, I'm not a fan, as I like a more gradual color change. I purchased a neon verigated yellow skein, for my yellow friendship swap, but didn't use it
as I was afraid my partner would think it was "too flashy". Instead I used a more muted, fallish tones yarn... Would you believe that my partner had knitted my square in the very yarn that I didn't use!!! Talk about a small world!


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## blessedinMO (Mar 9, 2013)

If someone has planned out and created an item, photographed it, and published it here to be shared with us, who am I to say that it is a bad piece?...just because it may not appeal to me. Silence then should be golden.


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## grandmann (Feb 4, 2011)

chooksnpinkroses said:


> When you figure out how, can you tell me?
> 
> I once got my DD to post a photo on a free advertising site and watched her closely. Then later when I tried to repeat what she had done, it didn't work. I gave up trying, I'm not very computer savy. :| :| :|


I think that's what I was trying to say earlier it's not easy for some of us to post pictures unless we get outside help. I do appreciate members posting their pictures because it does take time to do. I know for some it becomes second nature to post a picture.


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## grandmann (Feb 4, 2011)

blessedinMO said:


> If someone has planned out and created an item, photographed it, and published it here to be shared with us, who am I to say that it is a bad piece?...just because it may not appeal to me. Silence then should be golden.


 :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## Viddie (May 20, 2011)

Normaedern said:


> I agree. If I know that someone has done their best I will congratulate them. I do think they deserve it![/ Normaedern & Martina~~` I agree with the both of you ! :thumbup:


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## Viddie (May 20, 2011)

nitehawk said:


> :thumbup: :thumbup:


I agree also :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## ladykalous (Apr 10, 2014)

Yeah, I have to agree with pretty much everyone here. If you dont like it, pass it by! Maybe its just not your thing, taste, etc....and the different cultures is a big thing too. It is best to just not say anything as you dont want to discourage a person from trying something that probably gives them pleasure. If they were proud enough to post it, they obviously are proud of what they have done. I personally wouldnt discourage that. I would either post a simple Good job or not say anything at all.


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## nwjasu (Nov 8, 2011)

This is truly a "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all", as my mother use to say so often.


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## knittingdragon (Jun 15, 2012)

I also don't comment. I never know whether the "creator" has a severe disability which prevents anything "better". Also how long it took. I know if I struggled over a pattern for a couple of years and posted a picture and had someone come back and say it was "weird" or "funny" or "crap" I would never pick up needles again. We are about encouraging not being "critical" however innocent the criticsm is. If I see a glaring mistake, I have PM'd that person and started off by saying something like - "I know you have put a lot of time and effort into this and I like what you have achieved, but can I give you a couple of small suggestions?" Being a counsellor I know that complimenting a person for their effort first off makes suggestions and criticisms easier to accept. I alsways finish off by saying something like - "I don't want to discourage you from ..... in any way and hope you won't take offence, but....."
I have had replies from members saying that they had noticed the mistake, but couldn't figure how to prevent it. It's all in how criticism and suggestions are worded. Remember words can destroy people if not executed in the proper way.


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## MaryCarter (Oct 17, 2011)

Its a tricky question.....sometimes what you don't say is just as hurtful as what you do say. 

I love seeing the beginners having a go, and I love seeing the sometimes exquisite work of the experienced. Just because I dont like a project wouldn't stop me from commenting on its good points.


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## 4578 (Feb 2, 2011)

Sally, welcome to Knitting Paradise. Isn't it always "great" when someone is creative and productive? To me, it is not so important the color of yarn they choose, not the pattern, nor the level if knitting skills exhibited but that the person made something. Posted pictures inspire me. I hope you will post photos of your work when u are ready to do so. Knit on!


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## blessedinMO (Mar 9, 2013)

I hope everyone feels free to post the pictures of their accomplishments. We are here to support and very often help each other. It would be sad indeed if anyone here felt too intimidated to show their craft.


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## goodweh (Dec 4, 2011)

It seems a lot of time is being spent on something that really shouldn't matter. I would never have even thought about whether I should tell someone there project wasn't nice. Silence is golden, look , if you like it say so , if not move on!


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## blessedinMO (Mar 9, 2013)

goodweh said:


> It seems a lot of time is being spent on something that really shouldn't matter. I would never have even thought about whether I should tell someone there project wasn't nice. Silence is golden, look , if you like it say so , if not move on!


That is a perfect synopsis for this matter.


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## Kathie (Mar 29, 2011)

Everyone should remember that most people don't have time to look at everything either and not be hurt if they don't get many comments.


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## yotbum (Sep 8, 2011)

kyterp said:


> I have yet to see anything that is bad. To try, is beauty in it's self.


Very well put.


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## cattdages (Aug 3, 2011)

It's pretty funny. People are generally encouraging about people's work, but they don't hesitate to get nasty about other subjects, especially when there is a difference of opinion. For some reason a more-or-less anonymous forum like this seems to give some people license to ridicule, disrespect and just be generally unpleasant. I make frequent use of the "back" button to escape conversations like that if I can't be civil and/or make a meaningful contribution but some people can't resist!


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## Clancy P (Feb 26, 2014)

goodweh said:


> It seems a lot of time is being spent on something that really shouldn't matter. I would never have even thought about whether I should tell someone there project wasn't nice. Silence is golden, look , if you like it say so , if not move on!


I'm with you on this one. Well said


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## Mercygirl76 (Dec 30, 2012)

I agree that if you can't truthfully say something nice, don't say anything at all. I also agree that different cultures influence the perception of beauty. I certainly don't think I should judge anyone's work as "good" or "bad". If I see something that I find appealing and think is beautiful, I comment on it. If I see something that is not my cup of tea, I simply move on. I do know that I have learned so much from looking at the things KPers post: I've learned how a particular blend of yarn knits up, stitch definition, color choices, blends of fibers, etc. The experiences other KPers have with various projects and yarns helps all of us in our choices when deciding to knit something or not to knit something. So, in that respect, to me, it's all good!


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## Knitcrazydeborah (Oct 25, 2011)

I can't ever remember meeting a knitter I didn't like. Most of us are kind thoughtful people who know that knitting is much more than "2 sticks and a string". It's creative, soothing, comforting, calming (usually) and largely therapeutic. So when a photo shows a less than perfect item, we all cheer! Because we know that in this one case...A picture is NOT worth a thousand words!


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## blessedinMO (Mar 9, 2013)

Knitcrazydeborah said:


> I can't ever remember meeting a knitter I didn't like. Most of us are kind thoughtful people who know that knitting is much more than "2 sticks and a string". It's creative, soothing, comforting, calming (usually) and largely therapeutic. So when a photo shows a less than perfect item, we all cheer! Because we know that in this one case...A picture is NOT worth a thousand words!


Amen


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## mavisb (Apr 18, 2011)

I also believe in beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. What one person likes another may think it is awful. I encourage rather than discourage people.


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## Sarla (Apr 22, 2013)

I agree with Kyretp . If some one feels happy to post their stuff , I always see something to admire .


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## AmyKnits (Aug 20, 2011)

I post my work even if it is not my best IF there is something to learn from it... For example, I posted a pair of mittens I knitted to TRY a different thumb. I was not happy with the new thumb, so I posted so others can see what a gusset thumb, afterthought thumb and pick up and knit thumb looks like.

I often post a finished item and add that if I were to knit it again, I would use solid yarn, add more stitches, etc. I also let my knitting friends know if I work a pattern and there are errors.

I know that when I LOOK at OTHERS photos I often think that if I were to knit the same pattern, I might do (xyz) differently. No two people have exactly the same taste or style. I believe one of the main reasons for posting photos is so that we can decide what projects are right for us and our personal taste. Most of us also enjoy looking at what others are knitting for ideas and inspiration.

I have only had my work insulted once... This week a nasty troll on KP asked me if I have some sort of lumps on my ankles.... I hadn't blocked the socks before posting. This person is nasty and is known for her rude behavior... She has a little crowd that chimes in and they are all nasty... I consider the source and am not offended. I am a beginner to intermediate knitter and don't claim to be perfect.


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## inishowen (May 28, 2011)

Amy, I saw the remark about "lumps on your ankles" and thought it was shockingly rude. I don't understand why anyone would join a knitting forum just to insult other knitters.


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## Maywalk (Mar 31, 2012)

Good Grief what a nasty thing to say. 

Did you ask her for a sample of her knitting?
Everyone has to learn and if you could have seen some of the so called socks I turned out over 70 years ago I would not be at all surprised at anyone getting bunions from them BUT at least I tried. 
What makes some folk so evil? 
:evil: :evil: :evil:


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## Kadydee (Apr 28, 2011)

All the projects posted have been knitted/crochet well. Possibly not all to our liking or wants/needs but at least well done.

To date I've not seen anything truly ugly. Of course I'm sure I've not seen every project.

But most of all from what I've learned from our members no one would say ..... Gee that is truly ugly. They are just not like.

If a member asks for advise and they have the responses have always been beneficial and polite.

They have been answered in the spirit in which they have been intended. Educational and enjoyable.


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## knittingdragon (Jun 15, 2012)

Several years ago I saw a picture of a teddy bear an old lady had knitted. She was criticised because the ears were crooked and out of alignment, the eyes were wonky, the arms and legs weren't sewn on real well and in parts there was stuffing coming out of seams not properly sewn. She was devastated by the nasty comments spoken and was going to throw the teddy in the trash. She was convinced to just put it in her spare room and there it sat for ages - she forgot about it. One day her great grand-daughter came to visit and took ill while she was there. She is inconsoleable and the old lady picked up the teddy and gave it to her ggd. The little girl eventually ended up in hospital and the teddy went with her. She wouldn't let it go - she loved it to bits. Her mother sewed the seams so the stuffing wouldn't keep leaking out, but she wasn't allowed to do anything else repairwise. The little girl stated that it was "special" just like she was (she was a Downs Syndrome sufferer). Many, many years later I got to meet that little girl - she moved in next door to me - and that teddy was her pride and joy. It reminded her of a great grandmother she absolutely adored. 
It doesn't matter how ratty something looks, how wonky it is - there will always be someone out there who will love it to bits. And who are we to criticise anyone's efforts. The reason the teddy was 'wonky" was that the lady who knitted it was blind, but she loved creating with her hands. Everyone knew her and knew how independant she was and they all encouraged her. One piece of criticism almost destroyed that old lady and let me tell you there were about 50 people (both men and women) who would gladly have lined up and beaten up that insensitive critic.
I strongly believe if we don't have something nice to say about someone or something, then just shut up and say nothing. Although we have the power, we don't have the right to destroy a person.


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## blessedinMO (Mar 9, 2013)

Wow. That's a terrible story. That must have been before I joined here. I'm so glad things have improved. I certainly haven't seen anything like that happening here .


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## AmyKnits (Aug 20, 2011)

blessedinMO said:


> Wow. That's a terrible story. That must have been before I joined here. I'm so glad things have improved. I certainly haven't been anything like that happening here .


I agree...... It is both a sad story AND a wonderful story. How wonderful that she decided to keep it and that a special little lady found her special friend! Thanks for sharing!

I was also raised "If you don't have anything nice to say... Say nothing".


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## knittingdragon (Jun 15, 2012)

blessedinMO said:


> Wow. That's a terrible story. That must have been before I joined here. I'm so glad things have improved. I certainly haven't seen anything like that happening here .


The photo I saw wasn't on this site. It was a photo that was in a photo album and the criticism was verbal from someone else in the room at the time. There was a discussion about it on another craft chat group I belonged to at the time, but no longer exists and was only mentioned on that group because three of the people in the room at the time were members of the group. It was sad, but brought home the fact that people criticise without thinking. I was also blessed to be shown the teddy in question and I fell in love with him straight away.

As far as I am concerned, if I don't think a "project" is very good, I don't say anything, but there are those out there who take great delight in hurting other people. It is a form of bullying and I have no time for bullies of any sort. When I was growing up my mother always used to tell us to show empathy to others. Put yourselves in their shoes and think about how you would feel if the comments were directed to you. It is a lesson that has stayed with me. Kind of like the thing about thinking you were hard done by because your shoes were worn out, then you came across a man with no feet.

I am always mindful of how other people feel. Some take criticism really well and learn by it - others are deeply wounded, they are really fragile and we need to always think before putting the mouth in gear. There is a saying "loose lips sink ships" and that is so true.


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## cathbeasle (Jun 8, 2012)

Knttingdragon,
Thank you for your stories. They give us all something to think about and hopefully learn from. Beauty is indeed in the eye of the beholder and feelings can be very fragile. Please be kind to one another.


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## mavisb (Apr 18, 2011)

Knittingdragon, you have given me goosepimples. What a lovely and sad story.You are so right, if you can't say something nice then don't say anything at all.


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## blessedinMO (Mar 9, 2013)

knittingdragon said:


> The photo I saw wasn't on this site. It was a photo that was in a photo album and the criticism was verbal from someone else in the room at the time. There was a discussion about it on another craft chat group I belonged to at the time, but no longer exists and was only mentioned on that group because three of the people in the room at the time were members of the group. It was sad, but brought home the fact that people criticise without thinking. I was also blessed to be shown the teddy in question and I fell in love with him straight away.
> 
> As far as I am concerned, if I don't think a "project" is very good, I don't say anything, but there are those out there who take great delight in hurting other people. It is a form of bullying and I have no time for bullies of any sort. When I was growing up my mother always used to tell us to show empathy to others. Put yourselves in their shoes and think about how you would feel if the comments were directed to you. It is a lesson that has stayed with me. Kind of like the thing about thinking you were hard done by because your shoes were worn out, then you came across a man with no feet.
> 
> I am always mindful of how other people feel. Some take criticism really well and learn by it - others are deeply wounded, they are really fragile and we need to always think before putting the mouth in gear. There is a saying "loose lips sink ships" and that is so true.


OK. I'm glad I misunderstood. It sounded to me as if it had happened here in KP. Still a very sad story. Some people just have the need to put other people down as if it was their birth-right to do so.


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## Kadydee (Apr 28, 2011)

Knittingdragon, thank you for sharing your story. Bittersweet indeed but well worth it to share with us. 

I remember the lap rob my grandmother crochet when she was in the nursing home. It was far from your usual excellent work. I used and charised it for years after her death.


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## RedQueen (Nov 25, 2012)

SallyJessie said:


> I have been enjoying Knitting Paradise, think it is just wonderful.
> I have noticed one thing everything that is posted with a picture of what they have made is always great. Does anybody ever tell them what they really think when something is really pretty bad? I am not trying to be mean. It is just everybodys stuff is not wonderful. just what to know.


I would think if you don't like it you just don't post anything. That being said, I haven't seen anything bad yet.


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## nittineedles (Apr 14, 2011)

nitnana said:


> I have noticed some comments are kept very simple if the finished product is not really terrific- like, "Nice color," or "Shawls are so pretty!" or "Your grandson will love this," rather than a comment about the beautiful job of knitting!


I am guilty of posting short comments. I do it to keep my "a regular here" status as I'm not on the forum every day. Mind you, if I truly don't like it, I don't post anything at all.


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## Knitcrazydeborah (Oct 25, 2011)

knittingdragon said:


> Several years ago I saw a picture of a teddy bear an old lady had knitted. She was criticised because the ears were crooked and out of alignment, the eyes were wonky, the arms and legs weren't sewn on real well and in parts there was stuffing coming out of seams not properly sewn. She was devastated by the nasty comments spoken and was going to throw the teddy in the trash. She was convinced to just put it in her spare room and there it sat for ages - she forgot about it. One day her great grand-daughter came to visit and took ill while she was there. She is inconsoleable and the old lady picked up the teddy and gave it to her ggd. The little girl eventually ended up in hospital and the teddy went with her. She wouldn't let it go - she loved it to bits. Her mother sewed the seams so the stuffing wouldn't keep leaking out, but she wasn't allowed to do anything else repairwise. The little girl stated that it was "special" just like she was (she was a Downs Syndrome sufferer). Many, many years later I got to meet that little girl - she moved in next door to me - and that teddy was her pride and joy. It reminded her of a great grandmother she absolutely adored.
> It doesn't matter how ratty something looks, how wonky it is - there will always be someone out there who will love it to bits. And who are we to criticise anyone's efforts. The reason the teddy was 'wonky" was that the lady who knitted it was blind, but she loved creating with her hands. Everyone knew her and knew how independant she was and they all encouraged her. One piece of criticism almost destroyed that old lady and let me tell you there were about 50 people (both men and women) who would gladly have lined up and beaten up that insensitive critic.
> I strongly believe if we don't have something nice to say about someone or something, then just shut up and say nothing. Although we have the power, we don't have the right to destroy a person.


I'm crying as I type this. It touched my heart to read your story. My mothers favorite saying was "But for the Grace of God go I". I don't think I ever had a clue what it meant until as an ER nurse I held my first dying child in my arms. Not my child, someone else's , but believe me when I say - I felt their pain. Your story makes me feel the same way. Sadness for the insensitivity of the criticism, compassion for the Grandmother and the child, and sorrow that we still are capable of injuring one another...all these many years after Cain killed Abel. Because that's what this is about: pettiness, small minded ness and envy.

I once was asked to finish a knitted afghan for a non knitting co worker. Her aunt had begun it before her death. As her health declined and her vision failed, her knitting became erratic. Dropped stitches, holes, big pattern mistakes. I had no pattern so I unravelled a bit to see how the stitches were formed and then set about stabilizing the afghan. My friend had asked that as many of the mistakes as possible be left as is. She wanted as much of her Aunt's original handiwork as was possible to preserve. Years later she told me that the afghan I'd worked on was a most treasured keepsake of her beloved Aunt. That each of her kids were begging that it be "left to them when I'm gone". 
Isn't it nice to know that some of our least "excellent" handiwork, filled with holes and mistakes, may someday be treasured by our kids or grandkids?


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## Country Bumpkins (Feb 18, 2011)

Knitcrazydeborah said:


> I'm crying as I type this. It touched my heart to read your story. My mothers favorite saying was "But for the Grace of God go I". I don't think I ever had a clue what it meant until as an ER nurse I held my first dying child in my arms. Not my child, someone else's , but believe me when I say - I felt their pain. Your story makes me feel the same way. Sadness for the insensitivity of the criticism, compassion for the Grandmother and the child, and sorrow that we still are capable of injuring one another...all these many years after Cain killed Abel. Because that's what this is about: pettiness, small minded ness and envy.
> 
> I once was asked to finish a knitted afghan for a non knitting co worker. Her aunt had begun it before her death. As her health declined and her vision failed, her knitting became erratic. Dropped stitches, holes, big pattern mistakes. I had no pattern so I unravelled a bit to see how the stitches were formed and then set about stabilizing the afghan. My friend had asked that as many of the mistakes as possible be left as is. She wanted as much of her Aunt's original handiwork as was possible to preserve. Years later she told me that the afghan I'd worked on was a most treasured keepsake of her beloved Aunt. That each of her kids were begging that it be "left to them when I'm gone".
> Isn't it nice to know that some of our least "excellent" handiwork, filled with holes and mistakes, may someday be treasured by our kids or grandkids?


What a wonderful story.


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## Kadydee (Apr 28, 2011)

Knitcrazydeborah said:


> I'm crying as I type this. It touched my heart to read your story. My mothers favorite saying was "But for the Grace of God go I". I don't think I ever had a clue what it meant until as an ER nurse I held my first dying child in my arms. Not my child, someone else's , but believe me when I say - I felt their pain. Your story makes me feel the same way. Sadness for the insensitivity of the criticism, compassion for the Grandmother and the child, and sorrow that we still are capable of injuring one another...all these many years after Cain killed Abel. Because that's what this is about: pettiness, small minded ness and envy.
> 
> I once was asked to finish a knitted afghan for a non knitting co worker. Her aunt had begun it before her death. As her health declined and her vision failed, her knitting became erratic. Dropped stitches, holes, big pattern mistakes. I had no pattern so I unravelled a bit to see how the stitches were formed and then set about stabilizing the afghan. My friend had asked that as many of the mistakes as possible be left as is. She wanted as much of her Aunt's original handiwork as was possible to preserve. Years later she told me that the afghan I'd worked on was a most treasured keepsake of her beloved Aunt. That each of her kids were begging that it be "left to them when I'm gone".
> Isn't it nice to know that some of our least "excellent" handiwork, filled with holes and mistakes, may someday be treasured by our kids or grandkids?


Sometimes not only is our handiwork filled with holes and mistakes but also our lives. A gentle reminder that we all are not perfect.

God bless.


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## GemsByGranny (Dec 7, 2012)

SallyJessie said:


> I have been enjoying Knitting Paradise, think it is just wonderful.
> I have noticed one thing everything that is posted with a picture of what they have made is always great. Does anybody ever tell them what they really think when something is really pretty bad? I am not trying to be mean. It is just everybodys stuff is not wonderful. just what to know.


Maybe people don't post pictures of the things they think aren't up to scratch, but I might do that soon. Oh. memory kicked in - I lost the picture. (True, actually).


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## 4578 (Feb 2, 2011)

knitnanny said:


> I don't make any comment if the item is not in my style as I like to be honest. Everyone has different tastes so it would be rude to be judgemental...


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