# How guilty should I feel?



## WestLAmum (Apr 17, 2011)

My poor dear SO was cutting lumber yesterday and something went horribly wrong and he almost lost the first joint of his right index finger. I was at work when it happened and drove home immediately. I arrived at the same time as the paramedics who told me they would stabilize him on the way to the ER and I said I would meet them there. So, and here's where the guilt comes in, I came inside the house to pick up a knitting project to take to the hospital while the paramedics were working on him at the back of the ambulance. How could I even think about knitting during a crisis? I must say that it relaxed me a bit to knit a few rows of a sweater while they were sewing him back together.


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## Waterford Girl (Mar 10, 2012)

It was better that you were out of the way and allow the paramedics to do their job. And you a better person to help SO when you are relaxed and not all upset.
Keep the knitting


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## HappyKnitting (Feb 26, 2012)

Concur - it was a way for you to find something comforting in a time of distress


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## PaKnitter (Mar 7, 2011)

Guilty would be not showing up at all. Knitting is relaxing and who wants someone around them stressing all over the place?


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## Needleme (Sep 27, 2011)

No, it was very smart of you because you could do something to calm yourself. You couldn't really have done anything anyway. Put you in a calmer state of mind for when you needed to support SO.


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## Sammy's Nana (May 8, 2012)

WestLAmum said:


> My poor dear SO was cutting lumber yesterday and something went horribly wrong and he almost lost the first joint of his right index finger. I was at work when it happened and drove home immediately. I arrived at the same time as the paramedics who told me they would stabilize him on the way to the ER and I said I would meet them there. So, and here's where the guilt comes in, I came inside the house to pick up a knitting project to take to the hospital while the paramedics were working on him at the back of the ambulance. How could I even think about knitting during a crisis? I must say that it relaxed me a bit to knit a few rows of a sweater while they were sewing him back together.


LOL, I soooo would have done the same thing. No guilt. How is your SO today? I do hope he heals up quickly.


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## pocono.carol (Nov 30, 2011)

It is far better to pull yarn out of a skein then to pull your hair out of your head with worry. You had a very calm and clear head to be able to so quickly prepare yourself for the ordeal facing you.


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## yourmother306 (Nov 30, 2011)

Waterford Girl said:


> It was better that you were out of the way and allow the paramedics to do their job. And you a better person to help SO when you are relaxed and not all upset.
> Keep the knitting


I agree !


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## theyarnlady (Feb 25, 2011)

It is something to keep the mind busy and lesson the worry. You did nothing wrong,I would have done so too.


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## btibbs70 (Mar 23, 2011)

Guilt should not even be there.
Hope all turns out well for your SO and the injury


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## retirednelda (May 8, 2012)

As a RN, I think you did the right thing.... you kept out of the way and found something to soothe yourself and calm your nerves while the professionals looked after your husband... as it should be! You did wonderful, wish all patients wives were like you!


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## LalaOK (Jun 18, 2012)

Don't see a problem, better to have something to calm yourself!


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## mirl56 (Dec 20, 2011)

I concur - you did the only logical thing to do!!


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## Sewbizgirl (May 11, 2011)

You just know yourself and knew you would need your knitting as a diversion and stress-buster. I've done the same... Don't beat yourself up over it. It was a smart thing to do.

Hope your hubby's finger is going to be okay. It's amazing what we can recover from!


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## Dukesy (Dec 9, 2011)

You should not feel guilty at all. That is exactly what I would have done. I have even left the hosp. to find a dept store to buy something to work on when I found myself there without any knitting. The mindless repetition of a dishcloth or scarf is the best sedative ever in an emergency.


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## Pocahontas (Apr 15, 2011)

Don't feel guilty. Knitting is part of who we are and what we do. Your subconcious told you that you would be sitting in that waiting area twisting your hands if not for the yarn & needles. It doesn't cancel out your concern. Your were there for him. Hope he is ok.


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## nanma esther (Aug 22, 2011)

Dukesy said:


> You should not feel guilty at all. That is exactly what I would have done. I have even left the hosp. to find a dept store to buy something to work on when I found myself there without any knitting. The mindless repetition of a dishcloth or scarf is the best sedative ever in an emergency.


i agree


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## WestLAmum (Apr 17, 2011)

Thank you all for your kind words. This really is the nicest place on the web. SO is resting comfortably with the aid of pain meds. The bleeding seems to have finally stopped so the next step is to see the hand surgeon. I'll let you know what he/she says. Thank you again.


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## inishowen (May 28, 2011)

I'm trying to work out what SO is!


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## Dreamfli (Feb 13, 2012)

inishowen said:


> I'm trying to work out what SO is!


Significant other I think


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## Jenny E (Sep 5, 2011)

Now I would call that calm in a crisis!! Well done! I think you sould be proud of yourself. You couldn't help fix the finger, but you did prepare yourself to be of great value later. Again, well done!


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## paljoey46 (Nov 20, 2011)

You did the right thing. Many times when my husband was having a health problem that meant a trip to the hospital, I always grabbed my knitting. I have found that it is impossible to worry and count pattern stitches at the same time. And it did indeed ease my mind so that I was open to dialog with the doctors.


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## Dreamfli (Feb 13, 2012)

I hope your SO heals quickly. I think you did the right thing by grabbing your knitting. Sitting in an ER room is so stressful. At least you had something to do that kept you from screaming at people.

No guilt involved !


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## nuttyknitter (Mar 11, 2011)

I always have in my purse: cotton yarn and a no brainer dishcloth pattern (seed stitch border, bee stitch center) bright and cheerful yarn..glasses if needed..The fire department knows my house because we spend so much time at the hospital!


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## raza42 (Apr 12, 2012)

Please don't feel guilty at all.
I have lived with stress on a day to day basis since mid 2007 and still do as I live in central Australia and my family (who I am trying to bring here to be with me) are in the Philippines.
There is nothing I can do to minimize the trauma other than pick up my knitting or sit at my spinning wheel as an escape from the depression. I work during the day which is another 'escape' for me.
Just as there's nothing you could do other than create a greater problem for the paramedics doing their job.
It was a wise move on your part to pick up your knitting to minimize your stress.
I hope and pray that all will be well with convalesence.
Cheers and God bless, Ray


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## silvercharms (Mar 29, 2011)

raza42 said:


> Please don't feel guilty at all.
> I have lived with stress on a day to day basis since mid 2007 and still do as I live in central Australia and my family (who I am trying to bring here to be with me) are in the Philippines.
> There is nothing I can do to minimize the trauma other than pick up my knitting or sit at my spinning wheel as an escape from the depression. I work during the day which is another 'escape' for me.
> Just as there's nothing you could do other than create a greater problem for the paramedics doing their job.
> ...


Ad God bless you too, Raza with your desire to bring your family to safety and prosperity! Will keep you in my thoughts


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## RevSheryl (Jul 2, 2012)

The optimal phrase is "that it relax you". You were in a stressful situation. The body and mind will grab the closest stress releaser. Good thing it was your knitting. It could have been booze, food or medication. Going to the hospital bombed out wouldn't have help you or him. Keep those needles going.


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## Marylou12 (Dec 11, 2011)

Believe me, you did the right thing! I'm a retired RN who has been in many emergency situations and it's better that the family member(s) stay out of the way than dancing and prancing around me oh mying. 
You had a long wait ahead of you, and you thought enough to bring something to do! I would have done the same thing. 
How is he today?


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## yvone (May 11, 2012)

DONT WORRY AS NERVES CAUSE US TO DO SILLY THINGS [I ALWAYS START CLEANING UP.BUT DONT KNOW WHY [AS IF CLEANING MATTERS IN A CRISIS
HAZEL England


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## moo (Apr 20, 2012)

I would do the same, waiting and worrying is awful. It takes your mind off things and passes the time


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## take2needles (Sep 15, 2011)

Please don't feel guilty at all. You showed great fortitude and clear thinking. It's like you went on auto-pilot and chose something to keep your mind and hands busy....something you could do versus something you couldn't do (stitch up your SO....although you did have some knitting needles and yarn.....nah, that would've left too big a scar.  ) Just kidding! Bottom line: Don't feel guilty. Hope SO is doing well and mending fast. Give him lots of TLC!


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## Katie's Mom (Mar 29, 2012)

I read this post to my DH. He said he assumes I'll get my hospital supplies - knitting project, cell phone, charger, coins for vending machines, and so on - and follow the ambulance. I usually have to wait at the hospital once I get there anyway.

So your reactions seems perfectly appropriate to us!


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## Knitter forever (Dec 11, 2011)

Don't feel guilty,but tell me what does so mean.


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## Pattyhayw (May 29, 2011)

There should be no guilt at all. My SO had surgery last year. I made sure I brought my knitting with me. It helped me so much. I completed a scarf and kept my nerves in check. Hope your SO is doing well.


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## lovehomemade (Sep 11, 2011)

He ALMOST lost a section of finger.I don't think you should feel guilty....it's a way of distracting oneself.


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## shanni (Apr 18, 2011)

Should not feel at all guilty, you were being sensible, you understood that you would be there for some time and rather than just sit and waste time you were going to be productive


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## susan skipp (Jul 7, 2012)

dont feel guilty I had to go to hospital with a fracture to the pelvis I only wished Ihad my knitting with me has there is a lot of hanging around end up staring at the wall


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## Wynn11 (Jul 20, 2011)

There is no need for you to feel guilty. It was good to have something to occupy your mind. I've been in a similar situation with my son and had nothing. I hope he feels better soon.


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## moonieboy (Apr 11, 2012)

I would not have felt guilty; knitting helps calm me down when I am distressed and it helps keep me focused in the here and now. If i need to make a decision it helps me sort out what I need to figure out. Please dont feel guilty
Moonieboy


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## jersgran (Mar 19, 2012)

Listen up ladies!! Kate's mom is right. Your knitting is your emergency kit. WestLAmum, I am sure you were able to support your SO much better with you knitting available than without. Hope things are better today.


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## hemgirl (Jul 12, 2012)

No guilt at all. When my DH was hospitalized (emergency basis) I knitted on an afghan. I believe I finished it by the time he was recovered. Knitting keeps me calmer. I consider it therapy as well as hobby.


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## GWYNETH LLOYD (Jan 3, 2012)

Dukesy said:


> You should not feel guilty at all. That is exactly what I would have done. I have even left the hosp. to find a dept store to buy something to work on when I found myself there without any knitting. The mindless repetition of a dishcloth or scarf is the best sedative ever in an emergency.


You did the best thing for the both of you , God bless you, I hope SO is OK


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## MyrtlesDaughter (Dec 4, 2011)

Knitting should be guilt free. Would you have grabbed a book? The Knitmore Girls podcaster keeps knitting in her car.


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## Alto53 (Jan 26, 2012)

No guilt in my book - - staying calm in a crisis is the best thing to do. There's no more calming activity for me than knitting!


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## Nancy0524 (Jun 30, 2012)

i would of done the same thing.. hope your hubby is doing well. Don't feel guilty, people deal with stress in their own ways and us woman are logical creatures that stay way calmer in those situations!!!


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## morningstar (Mar 24, 2012)

retirednelda said:


> As a RN, I think you did the right thing.... you kept out of the way and found something to soothe yourself and calm your nerves while the professionals looked after your husband... as it should be! You did wonderful, wish all patients wives were like you!


Another R.N. here! I agree 100%. What you did made things better for everyone involved. Knit on!


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## sam0767 (Jun 20, 2012)

It was a better thing than reading age old magazines and not knowing what you read while waiting to know the outcome. I think you did good remembering the knitting. Everybody finds something to calm their nerves at a time of stress. I would not feel any guilt. You were in a better frame of mind once you got to go in and see him.


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## patocenizo (Jun 24, 2011)

I would not feel guilty...would it had been better to scream, cry and carry on!! then the paramedics would have had 2 crisis instead of one. I don't think you should have any guilt feelings, we all react differently and I would have done the same. Some would have gone to the nearest bar... get my drift?


WestLAmum said:


> My poor dear SO was cutting lumber yesterday and something went horribly wrong and he almost lost the first joint of his right index finger. I was at work when it happened and drove home immediately. I arrived at the same time as the paramedics who told me they would stabilize him on the way to the ER and I said I would meet them there. So, and here's where the guilt comes in, I came inside the house to pick up a knitting project to take to the hospital while the paramedics were working on him at the back of the ambulance. How could I even think about knitting during a crisis? I must say that it relaxed me a bit to knit a few rows of a sweater while they were sewing him back together.


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## patko (Mar 5, 2012)

I never leave the house without knitting, and especially when there is stress and crisis. You behaved brilliantly.


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## WestLAmum (Apr 17, 2011)

Well, I guess I shall let the guilt go. You have all convinced me I did the right thing. SO, for those who asked means significant other. I have been married twice, widowed once and divorced once, and I decided two marriages is enough, so I'm living in sin with my dear SO. It works for us. He is keeping a low profile and guarding his poor hand and we hope to see a hand surgeon in the next couple df days to see what is next with his finger. We were told at the ER it would probably need more surgery soon. Thank you one and all for your kind words and support. This really is the nicest place on the web.


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## laurie4 (Nov 3, 2011)

i agree with everyone now to answer the questioned asked what does SO MEAN


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## inishowen (May 28, 2011)

Dreamfli said:


> inishowen said:
> 
> 
> > I'm trying to work out what SO is!
> ...


Thank you, I kept thinking son or sister


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## emhk13 (Dec 20, 2011)

My husband since last September has had several doctors' appointments, 2 outpatient surgeries, several tests, 7 weeks of chemo/radiation, an emergency 4 day hospital admission for side effects of chemo/radiation over Christmas and a 4 day hospital stay in February for surgery to remove the cancer and associated lymph nodes. Sitting in a corner of his room or in the waiting room knitting saved my sanity. Our delightful and outrageous daughters were with me during his surgery but most of the time I waited alone. The upside of my quietly sitting in the corner knitting was the ICU post op let me stay all the time and not adhere to visiting hours. I was quiet and kept out of their way, kept him happier cause he felt more secure knowing I was watching the monitors (I'm a former ICU RN--now working in insurance) and a large number of them were knitters and loved the disrespectful chemo cap I had knitted him.


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## sam0767 (Jun 20, 2012)

WestLAmum said:


> Well, I guess I shall let the guilt go. You have all convinced me I did the right thing. SO, for those who asked means significant other. I have been married twice, widowed once and divorced once, and I decided two marriages is enough, so I'm living in sin with my dear SO. It works for us. He is keeping a low profile and guarding his poor hand and we hope to see a hand surgeon in the next couple df days to see what is next with his finger. We were told at the ER it would probably need more surgery soon. Thank you one and all for your kind words and support. This really is the nicest place on the web.


If just living with him is what you both feel comfortable with then that is what works for you. I would not say you are living in sin. If this was years ago I would say you would be judged. But in today society it is what works for you. I know alot of people that choose to just live together.

Please keep us updated on how he is doing.


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## Sherry1 (May 14, 2011)

You should not feel guilty at all. It's no different than going in to get a bottle of water, a book, feed the dog, etc. when you go to a hospital you never know how long things might take. Recently I took my husband to the ER twice and packed my knitting, phone, iPad, etc.
Hope he has a speedy recovery.


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## olbiddy (Feb 27, 2012)

As an RN who probably spent far too many years working in emergency departments, and come across as a tough and callous old bag, it was a finger, for goodness sake! It wasn't going to kill SO , as bad as the injury was. You did the most sensible thing, you kept yourself occupied and out of the way, SO knew you were there, caring, and wouldn't have expected anything else.
If you hadn't done what you did, you probably would have been asked, "where's your knitting?"
I do hope SO is recovering well and will regain good use of the finger.


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## bbbg (Feb 23, 2012)

It makes perfect sense to me. Have you ever been sitting in a waiting room WITHOUT your knitting? That's when someone sits across from you and takes out their WIP, and you hit yourself up side the head.

I hope SO is recovering well. He may need extra warm mittens this winter, if circulation was affected. Keep knitting!


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## Tinker Belle (Jan 26, 2012)

WestLAmum said:


> My poor dear SO was cutting lumber yesterday and something went horribly wrong and he almost lost the first joint of his right index finger. I was at work when it happened and drove home immediately. I arrived at the same time as the paramedics who told me they would stabilize him on the way to the ER and I said I would meet them there. So, and here's where the guilt comes in, I came inside the house to pick up a knitting project to take to the hospital while the paramedics were working on him at the back of the ambulance. How could I even think about knitting during a crisis? I must say that it relaxed me a bit to knit a few rows of a sweater while they were sewing him back together.


Don't feel guilty! You were just reaching for your comfort item to help you stay strong for him through this crisis. Yarn is our "blankie".


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## Bocciball (Feb 20, 2012)

Knitting relieves stress. Some people grab a paperback book and you grabbed a project. Don't feel guilty. Sitting in a hospital waiting room is incredibly anxiety provoking. You did the right thing.


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## GrannyP (Jun 17, 2012)

You did absolutely right. You needed to be stabilzed, too, and that's what your knitting did.


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## Schoeneckwren (Apr 11, 2011)

I would have done exactly the same thing. I knitted while we were waiting between the times we could visit my MIL when she was in Intensive Care, and others in the family made comments about how they wished they had something to cut stress they could do (The entire hospital campus being a smoke free zone and my DH and I being the only non smokers). 

What is SO's first name? I'd like to, with your permission, add you both to my prayer list.


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## bonster (Jan 28, 2011)

I usually have a small project in my car. Better that you keep busy.


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## Kadydee (Apr 28, 2011)

I see no reason for feeling quilty. You did what was best for your both. You left him in the care of professionals and you administered for yourself. Thumbs up to you. You get an A+


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## Janina (May 2, 2011)

Please don't feel guilty! There is enough of one person stressed. I would have done the same, instead of worrying during hours at least your knitting could calm you and you would be more relaxed to take care of him afterwards.



WestLAmum said:


> My poor dear SO was cutting lumber yesterday and something went horribly wrong and he almost lost the first joint of his right index finger. I was at work when it happened and drove home immediately. I arrived at the same time as the paramedics who told me they would stabilize him on the way to the ER and I said I would meet them there. So, and here's where the guilt comes in, I came inside the house to pick up a knitting project to take to the hospital while the paramedics were working on him at the back of the ambulance. How could I even think about knitting during a crisis? I must say that it relaxed me a bit to knit a few rows of a sweater while they were sewing him back together.


 :lol:


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## Lovinknittin (Apr 2, 2011)

WestLAmum said:


> My poor dear SO was cutting lumber yesterday and something went horribly wrong and he almost lost the first joint of his right index finger. I was at work when it happened and drove home immediately. I arrived at the same time as the paramedics who told me they would stabilize him on the way to the ER and I said I would meet them there. So, and here's where the guilt comes in, I came inside the house to pick up a knitting project to take to the hospital while the paramedics were working on him at the back of the ambulance. How could I even think about knitting during a crisis? I must say that it relaxed me a bit to knit a few rows of a sweater while they were sewing him back together.


It's the nervousness. Whenever I feel stressed, sad, nervous or whatever, I think about my knitting. I am not organized to grab it and go or have it when I am out but that is my thought during stress.

Don't feel guilty. Other people take relaxing pills and nobody thinks anything of it. Knitting is better.

Hope all goes well. 
:-D


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## Torticollus (Dec 3, 2011)

Better than turning to alcohol or pills. Knitting truly is a stress reliever and the rhythym of it keeps the brain from freaking out.


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## Ronie (Jan 21, 2011)

hmmm my knitting would of been in my car already...LOL


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## WestLAmum (Apr 17, 2011)

Schoeneckwren said:


> I would have done exactly the same thing. I knitted while we were waiting between the times we could visit my MIL when she was in Intensive Care, and others in the family made comments about how they wished they had something to cut stress they could do (The entire hospital campus being a smoke free zone and my DH and I being the only non smokers).
> 
> What is SO's first name? I'd like to, with your permission, add you both to my prayer list.


His name is Richard, and thank you. Your prayers are appreciated.

Margaret


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## jjane139 (Mar 16, 2011)

Guilt has no place in this situation. As a pastor, I have often been in waiting rooms with tense and frightened families. A person who is calm enough to knit not only keeps her (his?!) own sanity, but radiates a calming effect to others. Maybe even the doctors appreciate the "non-anxious presence." Knitting is a conversation-starter and a magnet for small children who haven't seen it being done before. For the patient, it may help to see his or her loved one engaged in what is normal at home. However it happens, a calm presence in a hospital room is all to the good. This Richard will be in the prayers of many of us today and in the days to come.


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## Knit tea (Oct 11, 2011)

You didn't stop at the yarn store on your way to the hospital - now that would be something to feel guilty about! Unless, of course, there was a sale!!!!

Hope all is well.


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## Lovinknittin (Apr 2, 2011)

Ronie said:


> hmmm my knitting would of been in my car already...LOL


 :-D :-D


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## bpj (Oct 14, 2011)

Hope all is better today, and please know that you did the right thing. I always reach out for something when I'm hurting in side and knitting is the first thing I go for. Call it my comfort blanket or what works for you. We will be waiting to see how things are, so please when you have time lets us know.


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## Lovinknittin (Apr 2, 2011)

Schoeneckwren said:


> I would have done exactly the same thing. I knitted while we were waiting between the times we could visit my MIL when she was in Intensive Care, and others in the family made comments about how they wished they had something to cut stress they could do (The entire hospital campus being a smoke free zone and my DH and I being the only non smokers).
> 
> What is SO's first name? I'd like to, with your permission, add you both to my prayer list.


Teach them sometime!


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## blizz61 (Jul 5, 2011)

not guilty at all. I always carry one knitting and one crochet project in my car for waiting time.


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## njbk55 (Apr 29, 2011)

Don't feel guilty it was your way of staying focused and out of the way. hope the other half is okay


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## WestLAmum (Apr 17, 2011)

Knit tea said:


> You didn't stop at the yarn store on your way to the hospital - now that would be something to feel guilty about! Unless, of course, there was a sale!!!!
> 
> Hope all is well.


Now this made me laugh.


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## Lovinknittin (Apr 2, 2011)

jjane139 said:


> Guilt has no place in this situation. As a pastor, I have often been in waiting rooms with tense and frightened families. A person who is calm enough to knit not only keeps her (his?!) own sanity, but radiates a calming effect to others. Maybe even the doctors appreciate the "non-anxious presence." Knitting is a conversation-starter and a magnet for small children who haven't seen it being done before. For the patient, it may help to see his or her loved one engaged in what is normal at home. However it happens, a calm presence in a hospital room is all to the good. This Richard will be in the prayers of many of us today and in the days to come.


I am such a firm believer of crafts to relax, especially knitting and crocheting. We really should get the word out but I don't know how. People don't have enough respect for the crafts if they do not do them. Something simple is fine. It IS an intelligent thing to do also. It's not easy and there is mindwork.

:thumbup:


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## MacRae (Dec 3, 2011)

This had nothing to do with your desire to knit or ignore your husband's plight. It was a need to calm yourself in a very unnerving situation. No guilt required.


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## Achef (Jun 30, 2012)

I have also left the hospital to find a yarn shop- taken a new projecy back to the bdeside and given myself something to work on during what is frankly somehow the most stressful AND boring place on earth! Good thinking!!! Be proud not guilty!


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## Achef (Jun 30, 2012)

I have also left the hospital to find a yarn shop- taken a new project back to the bedside and given myself something to work on during what is frankly somehow the most stressful AND boring place on earth! Good thinking!!! Be proud not guilty!


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## Kadydee (Apr 28, 2011)

Knit tea said:


> You didn't stop at the yarn store on your way to the hospital - now that would be something to feel guilty about! Unless, of course, there was a sale!!!!
> 
> Hope all is well.


A girl of my heart. I'm with you.


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## Ysne58 (Jun 22, 2012)

The knitting/crochet project helps you cope. You can be much more helpful to your dear SO when you are not so completely stressed out that you are no good to anyone.

I try to always have a project with me.


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## jackieannerice (Jun 3, 2012)

i would have done the same and grabbed my knitting. at stressful times my knitting keeps me going. hope everything goes well for you both.


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## evesch (Apr 3, 2011)

Oh My I would have done the same thing...Geez to be caught in a waiting and stress filled situation without something to do would have been a disaster of the mega variety. Things might have happened worse than what was happening....You did great! Hope he is ok.


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## ladystarshine (Apr 29, 2011)

people think of strange things in a crisis situation. I remember when I lived at home and there was a fire in a house across the road and all the man could think about was that his cigarettes were in there and he needed one. Don't feel guilty our minds work in strange ways to help us cope.


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## evesch (Apr 3, 2011)

Achef said:


> I have also left the hospital to find a yarn shop- taken a new project back to the bedside and given myself something to work on during what is frankly somehow the most stressful AND boring place on earth! Good thinking!!! Be proud not guilty!


You know hospital gift shops should carry basic knitting/crochet supplies. Wouldn't have to be fancy or extensive as people NEEDING those supplies would not be at all fussy about them, know I wouldn't. Maybe a few basic patterns too. hmmmm, wondering if there might be a product line there.....Kits of needle and yarn with pattern??? One skein wonders or something like that with some nice yarn....market to hospital gift shops....


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## bcleveland (Mar 27, 2011)

WestLAmum said:


> My poor dear SO was cutting lumber yesterday and something went horribly wrong and he almost lost the first joint of his right index finger. I was at work when it happened and drove home immediately. I arrived at the same time as the paramedics who told me they would stabilize him on the way to the ER and I said I would meet them there. So, and here's where the guilt comes in, I came inside the house to pick up a knitting project to take to the hospital while the paramedics were working on him at the back of the ambulance. How could I even think about knitting during a crisis? I must say that it relaxed me a bit to knit a few rows of a sweater while they were sewing him back together.


Knitting: Sweet relief in times of stress!


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## renee4561 (May 20, 2011)

if thats what relaxes you than that what you should do. It's better to be relax than to be all upset and in the way.


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## Pat FP (Nov 30, 2011)

You did the right thing, would you have grabbed a coat if it was cold? Prayer for hubby and comfort to you both.


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## humdinger (Sep 12, 2011)

Don't even go there with the guilt - we all would have done the same thing!!


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## JuneS (Nov 3, 2011)

No different than to pick up a magazine in the waiting room to read and occupy yourself while you waited for him. I wouldn't feel guilty unless you told the nurse you had to finish a row before you went into the ER room to see him.


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## ulrika (Jul 2, 2011)

Do not feel guilty at all. It kept you busy while you had to wait. You had to stay out of the way anyway. Plus it helps pass the time while you would have to wait in the emergency. It kept you calm. I would have done exactly the same thing.


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## Cheeky Blighter (Nov 20, 2011)

You did the right thing. Let the parmedics do their job and calm yourself down with your knitting. No reason to feel guilty. Be kind to yourself that was a very stressfull situation. Hope you are both doing OK now.


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## sues4hrts (Apr 22, 2011)

pocono.carol said:


> It is far better to pull yarn out of a skein then to pull your hair out of your head with worry. You had a very calm and clear head to be able to so quickly prepare yourself for the ordeal facing you.


Ditto!


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## determined_to-knit (May 16, 2011)

I agree with the other posts: You did the right thing at the given moment! Knitting was much better than having yourself get an axiety attack! Hope your husband is feeling better!


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## nhauf001 (Jan 18, 2011)

WestLAmum said:


> My poor dear SO was cutting lumber yesterday and something went horribly wrong and he almost lost the first joint of his right index finger. I was at work when it happened and drove home immediately. I arrived at the same time as the paramedics who told me they would stabilize him on the way to the ER and I said I would meet them there. So, and here's where the guilt comes in, I came inside the house to pick up a knitting project to take to the hospital while the paramedics were working on him at the back of the ambulance. How could I even think about knitting during a crisis? I must say that it relaxed me a bit to knit a few rows of a sweater while they were sewing him back together.


Life is too short for guilt. You know better than anyone else what to do to calm yourself. I think you are one wise woman. Hugs!


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## josette (Jul 6, 2012)

I do the same thing to relax. 
I am so sorry that the days have gone when we could take our knitting on an airplane, it always took my mind off flying. ( I am a very nervous flier)


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## lannieb (Apr 28, 2011)

I would have felt guilty too!


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## Grandma Jan (Apr 6, 2011)

Darlin', you thought of it because you were remaining calm and using your head. You did not keep the ambulance waiting and they weren't going to reunite you with SO till all the prep and admittance stuff was done so you had plenty of time to grab that project. You knew you would be sitting and waiting for a while and you knew that knitting would help keep you relaxed so that you did not add to the problem. Good move!


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## dingo (Jun 20, 2011)

No guilt involved at all. What would you do hover over them and be in the way? I hope you took your knitting with you when you went to the ER. I also hope your SO is doing well.


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## EZ2 (Aug 11, 2011)

I wouldn't feel guilty at all. In a crisis one must remain calm. Knitting in hand makes hospital visits bearable. 

I have been in too many hospital emergency rooms to even remember all of the visits. Without knitting I would be insane. I ALWAYS carry some kind of "mindless knitting" (a.k.a. stockinette or garter stitch) project in my purse.


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## Helgajr1 (Feb 14, 2012)

NO guilt at all :roll: :lol:


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## Lovinknittin (Apr 2, 2011)

evesch said:


> Achef said:
> 
> 
> > I have also left the hospital to find a yarn shop- taken a new project back to the bedside and given myself something to work on during what is frankly somehow the most stressful AND boring place on earth! Good thinking!!! Be proud not guilty!
> ...


That is a great idea - marketing it and approaching hospital gift shops. I have heard of baskets of yarn, needles, and patterns being in baskets in waiting rooms at hospitals - good idea also.

Should get the word out that knitting is a stress reliever rather than just a fun activity. If we think that people think it is only our fun, they may look down on it but if they know it is a stress reliever, they may do it themselves. ;-)


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## 3mom (Apr 20, 2011)

You were so right to do what you did. Ignore the ignorance.


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## threekidsmom (Feb 8, 2012)

Guilt is a worthless emotion. You are fine!


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## Mystikerin (Jul 19, 2011)

I agree. Why should you feel guilty? It made for one less person the paramedics had to worry about! You were there for S.O. when needed, calm and put together - don't freak out now!


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## Dsynr (Jun 3, 2011)

No Guilt Necessary. Save the guilt for when you do something hateful. You are a human being who reacts to things in a human way. It's for the best that you did your knitting and stayed out of the way so yr SO could get the treatment needed. Nobody needs somebody in hysterics and in the way when they are hurt and need emergency medical attention. You did the right thing. Here's a hug to comfort you (). May SO get all better fast!


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## Dreamweaver (Feb 1, 2011)

You should feel no guilt... You were smary enough to grab your coping mechanism. 

Can't do hospitals without a project ... whether I'm the support or the patient! 

Great idea to have knitting in the waiting room.... Maybe purple hats for the hospital...... OR garter scarves could be done with no pattern and worked on by many different knitters,,,, then donated to cahrity......


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## knitknack (Oct 30, 2011)

It was a great way to reduce the stress and anxiety while your SO was being attended to. Better to knit them bite your finger nails, or pace back and forth. Do not feel guilty, as there is nothing to feel guilty about.
I probably would have done the same thing, which would have given me something to focus on, rather then shake, etc. wondering what was going on with your SO.
Hope all is well with him, and perhaps he should consider having the lumber cut by a lumber yard, rather then risk another accident.


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## hotske (Aug 27, 2011)

Knitting is always better than a pill!


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## KathieMT (Apr 6, 2011)

You did what we all would. 
You took the closest support you could. Be it a neighbor, a child or your knitting--it was support when you needed it. It helped you maintain your composure and calmed your nerves--just what any support does.


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## Oma42 (May 10, 2012)

Don't feel guilty, there is no need to. What could you have done once help arrived and SO was in good hands? You knit, it calms you down and gets you to a better place


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## susannahp (Nov 7, 2011)

Ditto from me , you were out of the way so the paramedics could do their job ...


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## LizAnne (Nov 25, 2011)

You knew he was in good hands and you knew it would only take 30 seconds to get your knitting. You have nothing to feel guilty about. Grabbing our knitting before going anywhere is a reflex. I pray he is better and I know you are pampering him.


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## vhalgrimson (Jul 11, 2012)

no guilt, I my self have a d/d that is in and out of the er and the hospital, I find myself getting anything she needs then my knitting, you have to keep your mind occupied, or you will go crazy w/worry, I find it keeps me sane. Hope this helps.


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## Bubba24 (Jan 2, 2012)

My Grandson had a piece of his ear bit off this past Easter at a Easter egg hunt. His father rushed him to the hospital and than he was transported to a childrens hospital. Before I ran out the door I grabbed my knitting. I needed the knitting to keep me some what calm. If I was a wreck it would have done no good for the parents and othe Grand-parents.


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## pattibe (Feb 2, 2012)

Wow, that happened to me a few weeks ago. My husband collapsed in the middle of the night in the bathroom. I called 911 and the paramedics came right away. Did a few tests and recommended he go to the hospital for observation. I ran down stairs to get my car keys to follow them and looked over longingly at my knitting basket. I decided it would look pretty uncaring if I took it, which was far from the truth. I was terrified. Well, I wish I had. I sat in an ER for hours staring at the ceiling. My husband as it turns out was fine. He had just gotten dehydrated from our 8 mile hike that day in 80 degree heat, and his blood pressure dropped very low. I took him home by 3 p.m., and he was fine after IV fluids, but boy I sure wish I could have been knitting all that time. No guilt


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## faigiezipper (Apr 25, 2011)

Knitting is a stress reliever and I am sure there would be a lot of time spent at the hospital just waiting. It is better that you occupy your mind and your hands rather than drive yourself crazy worrying. It is much better for you, the patient and the hospital staff. They can do their work and you are out of the way. Don't feel guilty. It is no worse than taking a book along to read.


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## jilro (Mar 30, 2012)

Don't feel guilty at all. There was nothing you could do and he was in good hands. it is not like you left him bleeding on the floor while you searched for your knitting. You are doing him a big favor , When is happy, everyone is happy! hope he is doing well! (PS I read your topic to my husband and he smiled and said that is what you would do!)


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## Roe (Feb 10, 2011)

I agree that it is best you are calm to help your SO. my hubby has had several heart attacks in the past and while in the hospital watching other families getting the bad news of their loved ones, knitting has calmed me for the inevitable news I prayed I don't get. So don't feel guilty for grabbing the knitting. Most people don't understand the peace it gives. Much like praying and meditation.


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## mousepotato (May 30, 2011)

WestLAmum said:


> My poor dear SO was cutting lumber yesterday and something went horribly wrong and he almost lost the first joint of his right index finger. I was at work when it happened and drove home immediately. I arrived at the same time as the paramedics who told me they would stabilize him on the way to the ER and I said I would meet them there. So, and here's where the guilt comes in, I came inside the house to pick up a knitting project to take to the hospital while the paramedics were working on him at the back of the ambulance. How could I even think about knitting during a crisis? I must say that it relaxed me a bit to knit a few rows of a sweater while they were sewing him back together.


Do NOT feel guilty. The EMTs in my town know that they are not to put me in the ambulance without my knitting, even if they have to go and look for it!! Of course, most of them are my adjunct children, if not my actual children anyway. Without your knitting you are going to be in the waiting area with nothing to do, driving yourself crazy. Far better to have something to knit (either what I term *idiot simple* or extremely complex) to divert your mind from worry. I do hope that they were able to reattach his finger successfully. It'll take a while for the nerves to grow back though. Keep us posted on his progress.


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## headvase1 (Nov 18, 2011)

I believe Knitting always helps relax someone under stress.


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## acourter (Sep 30, 2011)

WestLAmum said:


> My poor dear SO was cutting lumber yesterday and something went horribly wrong and he almost lost the first joint of his right index finger. I was at work when it happened and drove home immediately. I arrived at the same time as the paramedics who told me they would stabilize him on the way to the ER and I said I would meet them there. So, and here's where the guilt comes in, I came inside the house to pick up a knitting project to take to the hospital while the paramedics were working on him at the back of the ambulance. How could I even think about knitting during a crisis? I must say that it relaxed me a bit to knit a few rows of a sweater while they were sewing him back together.


Don't be silly. Of course you should grab something that will give you some comfort during such a trying time.

I spent 8 1/2 months 500 miles away from home in the hospital with my husband before and after his lungs transplants. I don't know how I would have kept my sanity had I not had some hand work to occupy my brain a bit.


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## CdnKnittingNan (Nov 17, 2011)

I'd say knitting is like breathing. Something you do without even realizing. I agree wholeheartedly with the response from the person who said it was better for you to be out of the way of the paramedics and relaxed in order to help your SO. Couldn't have said it better!!


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## Jackydaw (Apr 27, 2012)

Every time I went to the hospital with my husband for his radio treatment I took my knitting. Knitted baby clothes even though we have no babies. Made me think of life rather than death. In remission now.


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## paula lawrence (Jun 23, 2011)

Ditto! No matter what I will go get my knitting, even put it in the car to go to the store, I always think
if there was a natural disaster and I was stuck somewhere at
least I have my knitting with me!


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## nightflutter (Apr 10, 2012)

In a true crisis, nothing is more important than keeping your cool. The paramedics had things under control, and it is not unreasonable that you should have a project to calm you while you knew you would need to wait. 

I would have done the same thing. Hope all is well with your SO and that the wound heals quickly.


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## Needleme (Sep 27, 2011)

evesch said:


> Achef said:
> 
> 
> > I have also left the hospital to find a yarn shop- taken a new project back to the bedside and given myself something to work on during what is frankly somehow the most stressful AND boring place on earth! Good thinking!!! Be proud not guilty!
> ...


Now that is an awesome idea!! Better than candy and magazines!


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## Needleme (Sep 27, 2011)

Jackydaw said:


> Every time I went to the hospital with my husband for his radio treatment I took my knitting. Knitted baby clothes even though we have no babies. Made me think of life rather than death. In remission now.


Glad to hear he is in remission!


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## Homeshppr (Feb 28, 2011)

Love of husband came first (you DID hurry home)----Love of knitting came second (you DID make sure he was in good hands before grabbing that project)!!!! 

Hope all is well--that he is recuperating nicely and you are calmly knitting beside him.


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## lecafecrochet (Jun 20, 2012)

I totally agree! I have 3 bags of WIPs set & ready to go for wherever and whenever I need to skidaddle! (Sounds like I have way too many WIPs tho, doesn't it?) I hope your hubby is ok!!


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## heredoggie (Jun 22, 2011)

I adore my husband and would have run into the house to do the same thing. Guilt won't help, but being calm will and thats what knitting does for us! Hope your SO is better. Don't waste time on guilt it serves no purpose.


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## run4fittness (May 22, 2011)

I read DH your problem and he looked at me and said "Whatever works!" And this from a man who has a lot of scars on his hands from wood working! I guess being married to me has given him a different outlook on things!


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## k2p3-knit on (May 1, 2012)

People cope with stress in different ways. You've found something that works for you and helps you keep your mind clear so you can focus on what needs to be done. That's good. Clear your mind of any thoughts of guilt. With prayers for you both.


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## Geneva (Mar 26, 2011)

Don't feel quilty about taking your knitting anywhere--mine goes everywhere. I was told by one who was waiting in a recovery room for her husband that the sound of the needles was relaxing and she thanked me! When I went to the hospital and was really ill, the husband of a friend asked how sick I was and she replied, "she didn't take her knitting -- HIs words were "My God, is she going to make it!" Never feel quilty for using a God given gift. :-D


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## denisejh (May 20, 2011)

WestLAmum-Don't sweat it. Your brain instinctively knew what it needed to give you a focus and help you remain calm. Personally, I think you did the right thing and I imagen many others would have done the same. Best to your SO for a speedy and full recovery. Denise


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## soozilovestoknit (Nov 21, 2011)

No guilt! I'm an RN, married to an EMT and I very much would have run in an grabbed my knitting too. It does calm me, it keeps my hands busy and productive - and keeps you out of the way of those who are caring for your loved one. Always have knitting nearby now and a book. You never know.


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## immunurse (May 2, 2011)

My DH developed pulmonary emboli (blood clots form in the leg and break loose and lodge in the lungs). It is a life-threatening event. 

When I got the call from the ER - he had gone to our regular doc who sent him immediately for a "Doppler" and they escorted him RIGHT to the ER - the first thing I grabbed was an overnight bag for him and the second thing was some knitting.

I've found that in cases of extreme stress, I need not just to knit but to start a new project!

You can't deal with something like this if you're over your head in stress. Knitting is so much better than psychotherapy!


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## Carol16 (Jul 15, 2012)

Don't feel guilty. I'm an EMT on a rescue squad & we tell family members, that are accompanying a patient, to bring a book, knitting, etc. The emergency rooms are usually very busy, the wait long & sometimes nerve racking. Having something to do helps.


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## DickWorrall (May 9, 2011)

You did the right thing.
I have gone into the ER with my wife when she needed stitches.
The doctor asked me to leave because I was turning white.
Even though I don't look, I could pass out just thinking of what they are doing.
I cannot stand the sight of blood or needles.
One time when they took my blood, I went up out of the chair and right up against the wall.
The first time that they took blood from me for my Army physical,
I passed out twice. I passed out, woke up and stood up and passed out again.
I hope your SO is doing much better.
Dick


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## ginawggw (Jun 3, 2012)

I think you did the right thing, I would have done the same thing, Hope all is well .


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## anneevamod (Apr 16, 2011)

I think you did the right thing...there is nothing you could have done while they were assisting your husband and you knew you would be spending time just waiting....maybe we should all have an 'emergency knit project' lined up for future occurences.....


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## janis blondel (May 20, 2011)

As a nurse it can be very difficult to treat patients at times and this is usually due to the interference of the relatives (and I don't mean that in a bad way they are obviously distressed) but you let them get on with their job, I think you did well. :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:


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## ulrika (Jul 2, 2011)

lecafecrochet said:


> I totally agree! I have 3 bags of WIPs set & ready to go for wherever and whenever I need to skidaddle! (Sounds like I have way too many WIPs tho, doesn't it?) I hope your hubby is ok!!


I love the idea of having WIPs ready to go. You can just grab a bag and off you go. Way to be organized.


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## Karen L (Feb 3, 2012)

So what I am getting from all these posts is that I am right in my instinct to take my knitting along while my husband has back surgery that will take several hours. I think that might be better than driving my family nuts looking at the clock and just annoying them. Now which animal should I take along to knit?? I know for sure I won't be doing my first fun fur! I don't need to stress over that too. I took my knitting along when I had radiation and stayed at my daughter's. My granddaughter kept going and getting the bag and wanting me to finish that bear!


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## Bumble (Sep 7, 2011)

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your husband--knit away!!


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## grandmadawn (Sep 4, 2011)

You shouldn't feel guillt - Needleme has it correct here


Needleme said:


> No, it was very smart of you because you could do something to calm yourself. You couldn't really have done anything anyway. Put you in a calmer state of mind for when you needed to support SO.


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## Woolywarmer (May 31, 2011)

I think shock had something to do with it. I have an occasion where I acted in a way others might find inappropriate, I'm now embarrassed by it, but in reflection I think at the time I was in shock and only doing what I felt needed to be done. (running to the corner to direct an ambulance while leaving my mother alone with my father who died unexpectedly minutes earlier????) Grabbing the project was something you had to do; it was very important to you - at that moment. No guilt. Just acknowledgement of shock.


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## iShirl (Jun 30, 2012)

I agree with everyone and see that we are ALL in agreement - you did exactly the right thing. Best wishes to you and your SO.


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## iShirl (Jun 30, 2012)

It dupllicated!


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## kmcnaught (Sep 13, 2011)

When you head for an emergency room, you know you are going to be there for several hours. Best to be occupied while waiting. Glad he's going to be okay. 

Karen


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## czechmate (Jun 17, 2011)

this was your mind in preparation, nothing wrong, just as a person might throw in a bottle of water for a trip and he was doing OK so don't fret over the little things in life.


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## Jackydaw (Apr 27, 2012)

Many years ago I was in hospital for a long time. A trolley, run by the WRVS, used to visit the wards with all manner of craft kits. They contained everything you needed to complete the project. Certainly kept me sane. I believe they were also on sale in the gift shop.


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## Hazel Blumberg - McKee (Sep 9, 2011)

Don't feel guilty at all! He was in good hands, and you were doing what you had to do to keep your calm.

Hazel


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## elissa57 (Jun 3, 2011)

FIRST.....I hope and pray that your SO is recovering comfortably!!!

I grew up with an ill parent...I ALWAYS had a "hospital project" in a bag, waiting to go. There were many times when I went home to pick up my project before heading over to the hospital....or went inside to pick it up after dad was "loaded" onto the Ambulance. The project was never completed.....great yarn, soft, comforting, BEAUTIFUL... was knitted, ripped, knitted, etc. 

My head was never really "into" the intricate pattern of the sweater i was knitting.... (i wonder why), but there were many hours of comfort and distraction that it provided me. 

Dad passed many years ago (yes, I had the project with me!) and that project STILL sits unfinished in the bag (and basket) that it has always been in! Since being married, i've brought the yarn with me to the hospital a few times! Once for a neighbor who I accompanied until family arrived (broken ankle), twice with hubby and once with my son!

thank goodness we know ourselves well enough to know what we will need so we can "be our best" when we are needed by others!  

Nope, no guilt at all!!!


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## kiwiannie (Jul 30, 2011)

You shouldn't feel guilty at all,the experts were working on him,you did the right thing.Getting your knitting was a great idea it kept you relaxed.I hope all is well at your place now.HUGSxx


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## soneka (Feb 8, 2011)

More than once -- my DH on his way to the hospital via ambulance, and I quickly run downstairs to grab my knitting! I know that I can keep my cool for several hours waiting -- waiting -- waiting if I am knitting and let the medics do their job while I wait patiently. No guilts.


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## SassyToy1 (Mar 31, 2011)

It is very stressful to go through what you just did. If knitting keeps you sane for his sake then there should not be any guilt. You now can work on fingerless mitts for the winter to keep that finger warm or just plain mittens then there is no guilt.


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## LizMiller (Oct 31, 2011)

WestLAmum said:


> My poor dear SO was cutting lumber yesterday and something went horribly wrong and he almost lost the first joint of his right index finger. I was at work when it happened and drove home immediately. I arrived at the same time as the paramedics who told me they would stabilize him on the way to the ER and I said I would meet them there. So, and here's where the guilt comes in, I came inside the house to pick up a knitting project to take to the hospital while the paramedics were working on him at the back of the ambulance. How could I even think about knitting during a crisis? I must say that it relaxed me a bit to knit a few rows of a sweater while they were sewing him back together.


I've carried a heap of guilt for years - over a similar situation! I bought my husband a new axe, to chop firewood. We had an old piano - which I loved - but we were going to be moving house and couldn't take it with us. So he chopped it up for firewood. But the axe was so sharp (being new, you see!!) that, when it hit a knot in the wood, it took the end of my husband's index finger with it!  Son drove him down to the hospital whilst I waited at home with the younger boys. But it was cold, so I lit the fire - with the newly chopped firewood. Son phoned shortly after, saying the hospital staff were asking if I could find the missing part of the finger. So I went out and checked the axe, checked the log he'd been chopping on - and even checked on the garage roof in case it had flown up in the air and landed there. I couldn't find it anywhere, so went back into the house to phone son - and saw a roaring fire, keeping the house warm, and possibly roasting the missing part of hubby's finger! As it turned out, the finger healed beautifully - only a little bit squint at the tip. But he still can't play the piano - partly because he never could but also because it lit the fire for weeks!! I'm still puzzling out if his rush to chop the piano was because he hated me playing it (it was dreadfully out of tune!) or because he liked his new axe!! My only guilt is because, years later, I'm still laughing at my reaction when I realised I'd perhaps cremated his missing finger tip - sweet revenge!! :lol:


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## threadgal (Jun 26, 2011)

guilty is not the word I would use. My husband did the same thing when we were first married. You were at hospital and if you didn't have for you to do you have driven you crazy. At least you were keeped in happy place


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## kneonknitter (Feb 10, 2011)

WestLAmum said:


> My poor dear SO was cutting lumber yesterday and something went horribly wrong and he almost lost the first joint of his right index finger. I was at work when it happened and drove home immediately. I arrived at the same time as the paramedics who told me they would stabilize him on the way to the ER and I said I would meet them there. So, and here's where the guilt comes in, I came inside the house to pick up a knitting project to take to the hospital while the paramedics were working on him at the back of the ambulance. How could I even think about knitting during a crisis? I must say that it relaxed me a bit to knit a few rows of a sweater while they were sewing him back together.


I would have & have done the same thing. Knitting is our therapy. It is there to calm us in horrible situations & ease our minds by taking our thinking away from the situation when we know we won't get any answers right away. You should feel absolutely no guilt whatsoever. My husband was very terminally ill & the 1st time I had to call an ambulance for him I went in the ambulance with him & did not take my knitting. After his life was extended that day, he asked me why I didn't have my knitting with me as I sat by his bedside. When my son called to talk to him he told my son to 'bring mommy's knitting bag later when you come here'. 
Glad the SO is ok.


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## Woolywarmer (May 31, 2011)

When my daughter had her first open heart surgery, I brought my knitting. She was in the OR 9 hours. But I was cool and calm. I was knitting the second mitten of a pair, lovely with a snowflake on the back. When I totally finished the mitten, (daughter still in surgery) I discovered I did the stranded knitting on the PALM of the hand. I didn't rip it; they are forever known as the "Boston Mittens".


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## wetfeet2 (Sep 14, 2011)

Not guilt, perfection. You grabbed something to calm your nerves and keep you out of the way while the pro's did their work. Besides that, you never know how long you are going to have to sit around, when you go to a hospital.
Kristine


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## newquay (Apr 26, 2011)

No guilt-knitting is relaxing and a good vent source. 
Hope all is ok (what does SO stand for?)


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## journey7 (Nov 24, 2011)

I'm sure I would have done the same thing. I'd want to keep myself calm. Please not guilt.
Hope SO is doing ok.


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## sophie6647 (Mar 7, 2012)

I agree with the others i have a small ball of wool in my handbag all the time and a hook make flowers and ears and bits like that hope yourSOhas a speedy recovery x


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## hemgirl (Jul 12, 2012)

Now I am curious - what was disrespectful about the chemo cap??


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## gina (Jan 18, 2011)

Have to ask, cant figure it out...What is SO? 

Whoever, certainly hope he heals well soon.


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## DickWorrall (May 9, 2011)

gina said:


> Have to ask, cant figure it out...What is SO?
> 
> Whoever, certainly hope he heals well soon.


SO is Significant Other.
Dick


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## gina (Jan 18, 2011)

DickWorrall said:


> gina said:
> 
> 
> > Have to ask, cant figure it out...What is SO?
> ...


Ah, never would have thought of that...Thanks


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## domsmum (Jun 20, 2012)

You were remarkably sensible to find something that would help you cope and comfort you.


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## kneonknitter (Feb 10, 2011)

newquay said:


> No guilt-knitting is relaxing and a good vent source.
> Hope all is ok (what does SO stand for?)


SO=Significant Other
;-)


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## julietremain (Jul 8, 2011)

No guilt at all.....you did exactly the right thing....you did the one thing that kept you calm and focused in a very stressful situation....way to go !!!!!
julie


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## Cheryl_K (May 23, 2011)

Just imagine if you had to wait @ the hospital and worry with nothing to do? I wouldn't feel guilty.


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## czechmate (Jun 17, 2011)

OH what a story thanks for sharing.


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## Carleen Lind (Jul 9, 2012)

Each time you see the article you were knitting it will bring back memories. I don't think you should feel guilty at all.


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## Elin (Sep 17, 2011)

You knew that the knitting would calm you down. It was better than taking a tranquilizer.

You did the right thing.


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## Kathleenangel (Dec 27, 2011)

I now keep a sock project in my purse for whenever I am sitting at the dentist office or have to go to the hospital or whatever. One time I had just taken it out and ended up somewhere where I sure could have used it to help pass the time and to calm me down. Since they are being done on small circular's they fit perfectly. I never leave home without my project now. Definitely no guilt on your part and the sweater your were working on, was it for your SO? Both of you are now in my prayers.


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## SueFerns (Aug 16, 2011)

WestLAMum, I used to be an ambulance driver/EMT I have seen much worse than someone getting their knitting. If knitting calms you, you will be much better able to calm your loved one. Also to hear directions from the Doctors. Would you have gone in the house if you had to use the rest room? Don't feel guilty.


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## BeckyOH (May 18, 2012)

I agree don't feel guilty. My husband was rushed to the ER and then take to another Hospital by ambulance that was a 2 hour drive from our home. I SO wished I had taken something with me for when he was in surgery and I was there alone in the waiting room!!


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## martimac57 (Apr 21, 2012)

Don't feel guilty. Your kniiting allows you the opportunity to stay calm, think things through and remain calm. You remaining calm will help your SO to be calm and you don't sit and worry.


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## dagmargrubaugh (May 10, 2011)

No reason to fell guilty. I knitted while my DH was having heart surgery. Otherwise I woule have chewed my nails to the quick..and I don't even chew my nails.
Hope he's better today,


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## knittingdragon (Jun 15, 2012)

I don't think you have anything to be guilty about. He was probably stressed out enough for both of you and for you to turn up and be stressed as well wouldn't have done either of you any good. We women tend to live longer in general because of our stress releasers like knitting. You go Girl! Hope hubby is okay and doesn't lose the finger.


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## Judy in oz (Jun 19, 2011)

You did the right thing!!!!!!

My DH was in the hospital over a year and I took my knitting every day!!!!! 
What a blessing it is to have "our best friend along with us" to keep us calm. Judy


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## Justme (May 11, 2011)

I recently fell and had to go to the ER as I knee swelled really bad. I look in my purse and nor was my kindle or knitting in there. So I went by home first and then to the ER. I was not going to sit with idle hands. I consider that wasted time. Plus it does calm a person.


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## martimac57 (Apr 21, 2012)

Knitting is very very Zen like.


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## Gloria Hall (Apr 6, 2011)

Agree with the posts to you--Having the knitting to keep you sane made it possible for you to be the support that was needed then--Smart and wise of you--Hope everything is better today---


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## KarenJo (Feb 24, 2011)

Would you have felt less guilty if your knitting was already in the car? Just some silly rationalization for you. Happy to know that the finger was not, in fact, lost and that you had something to help calm you.


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## m_azingrace (Mar 14, 2012)

Knitting is a lifeline to many of us. It is our tranquilizer as well. You said you did feel calmer, having your project to work on. Everyone likes to have some sort of comfort during times of stress. I'm glad you decided to take it with you. And hey, it's not like you stopped at the LYS on the way to the ER. (you didn't, did you?)


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## knitwitconnie (Jan 3, 2012)

I did the same thing today that you did! I received a message from my husband that his mother fell and broke her ankle. I stopped to get things I would need for the wait outside of surgery with my father-in-law. My knitting bag was one of the things I grabbed. It calms me down and I was less frustrated and more relaxed for the family there. No guilt. My feeling is we all have our pacifiers. Some drink coffee; some smoke, Many check their smart phones for email and facebook.....me.....I feel a calming effect of knitting! Plus the fact it's being productive.


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## Knitnewbie (Mar 8, 2011)

My husband was in ICU this weekend and, although I did not have my knitting initially when he went in, after he got stabilized, I went home to freshen up (had not even brushed my hair barely got dressed properly, because of the harrowing nature of his illness) and grabbed my knitting on the way back to the hospital. Had been sitting with him for two days while they tried to break his fever and clear the infection. Glad I had my knitting to occupy me and take my mind off of wanting to hurt the people that sent him home from the hospital the first time because they thought he had a virus. He almost died! Urrrrgh!


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## girlsknit (Nov 15, 2011)

made a few ambulance follows too and always grab knitting.. you can sit in the er for hours


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## Momma Osa (May 1, 2011)

Knitting is calming and everything seemed under control. Better to have the knitting with you in case of a long wait, and it helps you keep yourself and your husband calm. Good thinking.

Momma Osa


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## chris h (Aug 13, 2011)

i would not let it worry you about getting your knitting, think of it as therapy, it helps in times like this to relax you, works for me :lol:


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## macnurse (May 13, 2012)

As I am one who works in the medical field, it is best that you are in the distance and remaining calm. They are skilled and able to get things done better this way. I hope he is doing well! I also would have taken the knitting to the hospital with me...helps the wait time go by faster and keeps the mind from wandering and lessens anxiety/worry.


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## bagsnc (Jul 15, 2012)

In an extremely frightfull experience our minds seek something normal. I believe you snatched up your knitting without a thought...it was just in your hands like your pocket book. Your actions were automatic because of your extreme fear and love for your husband.


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## Redhatchris (Apr 21, 2012)

WestLAmum said:


> My poor dear SO was cutting lumber yesterday and something went horribly wrong and he almost lost the first joint of his right index finger. I was at work when it happened and drove home immediately. I arrived at the same time as the paramedics who told me they would stabilize him on the way to the ER and I said I would meet them there. So, and here's where the guilt comes in, I came inside the house to pick up a knitting project to take to the hospital while the paramedics were working on him at the back of the ambulance. How could I even think about knitting during a crisis? I must say that it relaxed me a bit to knit a few rows of a sweater while they were sewing him back together.


I am so sorry for your crisis, but quilt? NO. You were "self medicating" in a healthy way. Knitting is better than valium or liquor. Pat yourself on the back for having great coping mechanisms. Now, get back to your knitting. God speed the healing.


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## Judy M (Feb 17, 2011)

What does SO stand for?

My brother did lose a finger tip, sharpening a knife on an electric whetstone, when he was a teenager.


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## nitnurse (May 20, 2012)

Hi,

Don't feel guilty. If the paramedics had not been already with him, I doubt the knitting would have entered your head. You obviously knew he was in good hands and were looking for something to keep your mind and hands occupied while you waited for him at the hospital. The mind works in funny ways, and your grabbing your knitting in a crisis is not that weird. Just your way of dealing with the situation in a calm and reasonable manner.


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## B.C. Wendy (Mar 9, 2012)

My Dear, you just showed common sense! I hope all will be well soon
Wendy


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## tadpoleandbiddy (Jan 19, 2012)

Sorry to be so dumb but what or who is a SO. I haven't noticed that abbreviation before. cheers tadpoleandbiddy


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## nuclearfinz (Feb 23, 2011)

You did the right thing. I would have. It helped keep you calm and centered so when it came time for you to bring your husband home you werent panicky and flying off the handle yourself.


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## Schoeneckwren (Apr 11, 2011)

Dear Lord of us all,
We would ask that you will make your presence known to Richard and Margaret in their time of need. Knit their hearts together and bind them to your heart. May your love Envelope them like a warm shawl, and the pattern of your knitting for their lives become clear and comforting. 
In Jesus name

Amen


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## PauletteB. (Feb 7, 2012)

No guilt, You put into play a great stress reliever.


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## st1tch (Dec 13, 2011)

retirednelda said:


> As a RN, I think you did the right thing.... you kept out of the way and found something to soothe yourself and calm your nerves while the professionals looked after your husband... as it should be! You did wonderful, wish all patients wives were like you!


Me too :thumbup:


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## God's Broad (Jul 2, 2012)

NO guilt at all...You needed something to help pass the time while you wre waiting in the ER...You did the right thing!


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## Edith M (Aug 10, 2011)

Distraction is neccesary at such times so the proffessionals can do their job. That's why they have magazines in waiting rooms. Knitting at least is productive. Hope you SO is doing better today. My hubby did the same thing some years ago with a hack saw. He was working in a cold garage and did not feel the first cut.

I was at work and my 12 year old son called my office to tell me that his Dad was bleeding all over the kitchen. I raced home to find him sitting on the floor with a towel wrapped around his hand. My 8 year old daughter was holding his arm over his head, the seven year old was giving him sips of coffe and my son was mopping the blood off the floor.


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## margie1992 (Apr 27, 2011)

I have knitted my way through many a family crisis. Everyone marvels at "how strong" I am. If I weren't knitting, I'd be throwing those stupid magazines across the waiting room.


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## shelty lover (Mar 29, 2012)

I would say congrats to you for knowing how to manage your stress. There was little you could do at that point for your SO, but you knew how to take of yourself. Good for you. No guilt. Shelty lover


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## kneonknitter (Feb 10, 2011)

margie1992 said:


> I have knitted my way through many a family crisis. Everyone marvels at "how strong" I am. If I weren't knitting, I'd be throwing those stupid magazines across the waiting room.


You just described me. ;-)


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## kittykatzmom (Mar 1, 2011)

You needed something to calm your nevres and knitting or crocheting is a good way to do that. Hope he is doing ok by now.


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## Schoeneckwren (Apr 11, 2011)

Judy M said:


> What does SO stand for?
> 
> My brother did lose a finger tip, sharpening a knife on an electric whetstone, when he was a teenager.


I think SO stands for Significant Other.

My brother lost the tip of his middle finger when he was a teenager. He tried to unclog the lawn mower without first turning it off.


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## RitaLittleCat (Sep 19, 2011)

Dukesy said:


> You should not feel guilty at all. That is exactly what I would have done. I have even left the hosp. to find a dept store to buy something to work on when I found myself there without any knitting. The mindless repetition of a dishcloth or scarf is the best sedative ever in an emergency.


Exactly my feelings. I have taken my knitting/crocheting/books to emergency rooms, courtrooms, and ICU waiting rooms, even to hospitals when I was the patient. Unless you enjoy sitting and waiting and wondering and worrying, bring whatever will help you relieve your tension and stress.

Hope your SO is doing well and please let us know his progress.


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## dunnville89 (Apr 24, 2012)

I was knitting socks while my 11 week old granddaughter had brain surgery. I called them my crisis socks. Oh, and gd is almost 8 years old now and doing well.


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## Woolywarmer (May 31, 2011)

dunnville89 said:


> I was knitting socks while my 11 week old granddaughter had brain surgery. I called them my crisis socks. Oh, and gd is almost 8 years old now and doing well.


May the angels always watch over her!


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## MaryA (Jan 26, 2011)

WestLAmum said:


> My poor dear SO was cutting lumber yesterday and something went horribly wrong and he almost lost the first joint of his right index finger. I was at work when it happened and drove home immediately. I arrived at the same time as the paramedics who told me they would stabilize him on the way to the ER and I said I would meet them there. So, and here's where the guilt comes in, I came inside the house to pick up a knitting project to take to the hospital while the paramedics were working on him at the back of the ambulance. How could I even think about knitting during a crisis? I must say that it relaxed me a bit to knit a few rows of a sweater while they were sewing him back together.


Well.....my mind runs that way too. Anytime I have to sit and wait for any length of time, I think, what can I take to do to pass the time. even if i don't take it out of the bag, I HAVE to have something to do "if I want to". Now, for instance - I am one of 3 camp nurses this week for about 120 kids ranging in age from 10-16. I brought 3 knitting projects, one applique project and one to start cutting out if I want to, my Bible and a book to read! Now I may do some applique and I don't know if I'll knit or not, but at least I have something to do if I want to! lol

Don't feel guilty. I hope your husband's hand will be alright and yes, it was good to stay out of the way so paramedics could do their job.


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## xxjanexx (May 1, 2012)

your not on your own you can be hours in these places id of done the same and my kindle i hope your SO recovers


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## Knitnewbie (Mar 8, 2011)

Judy M said:


> What does SO stand for?
> 
> My brother did lose a finger tip, sharpening a knife on an electric whetstone, when he was a teenager.


SO=signigicant other


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## inishowen (May 28, 2011)

When my granny was in hospital for 6 weeks, many years ago, she asked for yarn and needles. She spent her time knitting baby clothes for a couple of the nurses who were pregnant. They were delighted and gran loved doing it.


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## pleezed2pleez (Jun 14, 2011)

It was a reflex. People do strange things is a crisis. Later it can even be funny. Like the lady who ran for her old garden shoes when she learned her house was on fire. Right beside the old shoes was a good pair of walking shoes. Never succumb to guilt.


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## caloughner (Oct 3, 2011)

I always take my knitting to the ER. My 99 1/2 year old mother had 3 trips there related to falls this spring. I could not have been able to stand the weight without something to keep me busy. Thankfully the PT has helped and she hasn't fallen since. Now in the planning stage for her 100th B'Day in Oct.


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## caloughner (Oct 3, 2011)

I always take my knitting to the ER. Had to be there with my 99 1/2 year old mother 3 times this spring. I'd have gone stir crazy waiting. She has had some PT and no more falls since then. Now planning her 100th B'Day party for Oct.


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## yarnbea (Jun 11, 2012)

My husband is having surgery next week. I will be taking my knitting and waiting to hear from the Dr's. Some read, we knit.


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## Gramms9 (Mar 10, 2012)

I may have done the same thing. Hope hubby is on the mend.


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## Lrushefsky (Feb 6, 2011)

no guilt the paramedic did what needed, you stayed calm with knitting. I have done the same. Knit something for SO Happy knitting. Linda


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## turtles (Aug 28, 2011)

Amen! Keep the fingers busy and the mind relaxed!!!


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## turtles (Aug 28, 2011)

Well didn't want to repeat and the send button acted like it didn't work! Technology : (


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## slowknitter45 (May 25, 2012)

Hey, I am really sorry for what happened to your hubby and hope all is much better by now, but you did all you could do at the time and by grabbing your knitting, you instinctly knew that knitting would settle your nerves and calm you down. Never apologize for anything that can do that in today's world. There's just no room for guilt in this scenario as I see it. 
When a knitter is comforted, we are in a better position to comfort others. My motto.

slowknitter45


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## Pleclerrc (Apr 17, 2011)

"Just Doin' What Comes Naturally" if you ask me. No guilt needed! Patricia


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